#and I'm sorry for anyone whose ship got sunk

[destinationtoast]

(Okay, I just posted a big thinky meta, and somewhere in there I asserted that I didn't have shipping expectations/hopes going into the finale. And I think that's mostly true... but it's also possible that my enjoyment of the finale was swayed somewhat by the door having been left wide open for my OT3. I don't want to imply that I'm completely above all earthly shipping desires, even if I mostly don't care about canon endgame and will write my lil fics regardless.)

[mariana-oconnor]

The Priory School pts 2-4

So, I was away and then I was sick, so this has taken a while to get around to. Sorry! In case you've ever been curious, going on a plane with a cold is an utterly miserable experience and 0/10 would not recommend. Don't do it. My ears still have not recovered. They should not be crackling like this.

Last time, a young boy whose parents had separated (leaving him with apparently the parent he liked less as primary caregiver) was shipped off to boarding school, from which he disappeared after receiving a letter allegedly from his father. A school teacher disappeared the same night along with a bicycle. The father of the child didn't want scandal so he's not telling anyone that his child is missing - I guess he really wasn't interesting in that father of the year award - and he and his secretary came to tell Holmes to back off.

Lots of people seem to suspect the teacher in spite of the fact he appears to have left in somewhat of a hurry and only one bicycle was missing. I find the secretary suspicious mainly because he's become such a fixture in the narrative (and because he's the one who's providing a lot of the information for the case and also the guy who posts the Earl's letters for him... was it an earl? My heart says it's an earl. Personally I think marquises are criminally underused, but it's more likely to have been an earl.)

Did I remember it all?

Part 2

"He had obtained a large ordnance map of the neighbourhood, and this he brought into my room, where he laid it out on the bed, and, having balanced the lamp in the middle of it, he began to smoke over it, and occasionally to point out objects of interest with the reeking amber of his pipe."

I assume that this means objects of interest to the case, but considering it's Holmes it could mean anything at all. Which is a far more charming image. Just Holmes poring over the map and occasionally saying 'oh, look here, Watson, the contour lines are very circular here abouts.' 'How does that pertain to the boy, Holmes?' 'What? Oh, not at all, but it does suggest some kind of ancient burial mound might be concealed there.'

"...there is no side road for a mile either way."

Excellent. It does make things easier.

Oooh, a map. A map. I do love a map.

Although, that inn is definitely called the Fighting Cock Inn, not the Fighting Clock Inn (there's one with a similar name nearish where I grew up).

Yep, that's Fighting Cock Inn.

Wait a sec... Heidegger's Body? Is Heidegger the German Teacher? Is he dead? Did I miss him dying? Oh... RIP Heidegger. I'm not sure your body has been discovered yet in the text, but apparently it's out there.

“In the van of the gipsies who camped on the moor. They left on Tuesday. To-day the police traced them down and examined their caravan. This was found.”

Well it's not them, unless they're someone else in disguise. I suppose they could be working for his mother. But thank you for the reminder of the racism, I guess?? I had almost forgotten about that in my eagerness to read the story.

"Now, Watson, there is cocoa ready in the next room. I must beg you to hurry, for we have a great day before us.”

Well, at least Watson got cocoa this time? Last time I don't think he got anything until after a long train journey, so this is better?

“I am familiar with forty-two different impressions left by tyres. This, as you perceive, is a Dunlop, with a patch upon the outer cover. Heidegger's tyres were Palmer's, leaving longitudinal stripes. Aveling, the mathematical master, was sure upon the point. Therefore, it is not Heidegger's track.”

OK, Holmes knowing 42 types of tyre track, fine. Makes sense. THe Maths teacher knowing what the German teacher's bike tyres looked like? Weird. Unless he also has bike tyres as a special interest.

"The more deeply sunk impression is, of course, the hind wheel, upon which the weight rests. You perceive several places where it has passed across and obliterated the more shallow mark of the front one. It was undoubtedly heading away from the school."

I don't... understand how that works. Surely it would have crossed over the front tyre track no matter which way it was going?

“But we have a long way still to go. Kindly walk clear of the path. Now let us follow the trail. I fear that it will not lead very far.”

Hey, Holmes looked at the map too! I joke, I joke. But yeah, sorry Heidegger. You seemed like a good guy.

"That he could have gone on after receiving such an injury said much for the vitality and courage of the man. He wore shoes, but no socks, and his open coat disclosed a night-shirt beneath it. It was undoubtedly the German master."

And thus to part 3. Poor Heidegger did not deserve to die. He was doing his best.

Part 3

As we approached the forbidding and squalid inn, with the sign of a game-cock above the door, Holmes gave a sudden groan and clutched me by the shoulder to save himself from falling. He had had one of those violent strains of the ankle which leave a man helpless.

Part 3 starting out strong at the Fighting Cock Inn. And please, Watson... like we believe Holmes has twisted his ankle. Please tell me that by this time in your association you did not believe Holmes had actually twisted his ankle? The man once pretended he was dying. He once pretended he was dead. You cannot tell me you honestly believed he had twisted his ankle.

“Look here, my man,” said he. “This is really rather an awkward fix for me. I don't mind how I get on.” “Neither do I,” said the morose landlord.

Look, I know he's a dick and he's the landlord of a pub named after animal cruelty, but still... I kind of like Mr Hayes. His level of fucks given is very Life Goals.

“Pals of the Dook, I suppose?” said the landlord, surveying our mud-stained garments with ironical eyes.

Ah. he's a duke. Well, I remembered the rest. Marquises are still underutilised.

“Because we bring him news of his lost son.”The landlord gave a very visible start.

And that's not suspicious at all.

Again a swift change passed over the heavy, unshaven face. His manner was suddenly genial.

Oh my god... maybe try not to react? I take it back, this guy gives far too many fucks. All his idgafuckery is an illusion. He's a fraud.

“Strange, Watson, that we should see tracks all along our line, but never a cow on the whole moor; very strange, Watson, eh?”

Oh bloody hell, the cows were horses all along. I can't believe I didn't think of that. I trusted Holmes to know the difference between cow and horse tracks, but I guess hes taken up too much brain space with tyre tracks and tobacco ash for animal tracks to be in there as well.

"By George, Watson, it was no brain of a country publican that thought out such a blind as that!"

Classist.

“The Duke's secretary!” cried Holmes.

Vindication! cried I.

Holmes keeps 'crying' things when they are trying to be stealthy.

Wilder doesn't seem like the type to cave someone's head in with a blunt object. Presumably he was on the dunlop tyred bicycle and someone else (the innkeeper, perhaps) was on the horse cow with the boy.

I know a lot of children say they want their teachers to die, but if this kid watched that happen and was unaffected then he's severely lacking in empathy and I in turn will be severely lacking in empathy for him.

“I fancy that I see your Grace's cheque-book upon the table,” said he. “I should be glad if you would make me out a cheque for six thousand pounds. It would be as well, perhaps, for you to cross it. The Capital and Counties Bank, Oxford Street branch, are my agents.”

Holmes is being exceedingly mercenary in this one. He does not like this guy, it seems. Perhaps the man he saw in that window was the Duke himself and he had his own son kidnapped in order to... idk? Incriminate his wife so that he could divorce her properly or something? I imagine kidnapping would be grounds for a divorce even in Victorian times.

“I accuse you,” said he. “And now, your Grace, I'll trouble you for that cheque.”

J'ACCUSE!

And so to part 4.

I'm pretty sure in the first part I said the guy either knew exactly where his son was or he was the worst father ever. I mean, those two things were never mutually exclusive, were they?

Part 4

“I hardly understand your Grace.” “I must put it plainly, Mr. Holmes. If only you two know of this incident, there is no reason why it should go any farther. I think twelve thousand pounds is the sum that I owe you, is it not?”

We gonna indulge in a little bribery, huh? As a treat? Going to throw some money around and pretend like a man wasn't murdered because of our petty family squabbles?

Heidegger was worth more than £12k.

(That's about £1.2mill today btw)

“I fear, your Grace, that matters can hardly be arranged so easily. There is the death of this schoolmaster to be accounted for.” “But James knew nothing of that. You cannot hold him responsible for that. It was the work of this brutal ruffian whom he had the misfortune to employ.”

Pretty sure that's still a crime... that resulted in a man's death... for literally trying to save your son.

With all due respect, your grace (and that is none) Fuck. You.

"He lost not an hour in breaking entirely with the murderer. Oh, Mr. Holmes, you must save him—you must save him! I tell you that you must save him!”

My dudes, is the duke fucking his secretary? Kinda seems like the duke is fucking his secretary. This is the first time he's shown concern or emotion for anyone other than himself this entire time. Sure he knew where his son was the whole time, but still...

"I am right glad to hear it, if it will not react upon the fate of James.” “Your secretary?” “No, sir; my son.”

Oh... they not fucking. Nope... well that... let's draw a line under that shall we and back away from that entire line of thought.

Mmhm

God the duke is a dickhead.

"When I was a very young man, Mr. Holmes, I loved with such a love as comes only once in a lifetime."

Oh fuck off with that shit.

"...I gave him the best of educations, and since he came to manhood I have kept him near my person."

You couldn't have helped him get a job that... wasn't connected to you. So he could be his own person and not basically his own father's servant for his entire life?

So , let me get this straight. You didn't acknowledge him - even just to himself - you arranged and controlled his life and then when he found out he threatened to expose you? Honestly... fair.

And understandable that he hates the legitimate kid, too. He really shouldn't be taking it out on the child, obviously, and he's an arsehole, but it's absolutely understandable.

"All her pretty ways, too—there was not one of them which he could not suggest and bring back to my memory."

There comes a time when this stops being sweet and starts being creepy.

Why send him to school and not to his mother, which is.... further away from your jealous illegitimate child?

"I answer that there was a great deal which was unreasoning and fanatical in the hatred which he bore my heir. In his view he should himself have been heir of all my estates, and he deeply resented those social laws which made it impossible."

He may be a terrible person, but he does make some good points.

"I found him safe and well, but horrified beyond expression by the dreadful deed he had witnessed."

So Arthur's the best guy in this family, huh? Poor kid.

“This is indeed a most serious matter. Even more culpable in my opinion, your Grace, is your attitude towards your younger son. You leave him in this den for three days.” “Under solemn promises—”

Yeah, because people always keep their promises. Particularly when there's the chance of blackmail involved.

Worst Dad of the Year?

"What he will divulge I cannot tell, but I have no doubt that your Grace could make him understand that it is to his interest to be silent."

Not sure what he can offer a guy who's literally going to die either way? A quicker, more painless death perhaps. He doesn't seem like the type who would care about other people.

“In that case, your Grace, since you have yourself stated that any unhappiness in your married life was caused by his presence, I would suggest that you make such amends as you can to the Duchess, and that you try to resume those relations which have been so unhappily interrupted.”

I don't know the woman, but I know she does not deserve that. Holmes, you have got to stop trying to play matchmaker between rich dickheads and the women they have hurt. It's not a good look for you.

“These shoes,” it ran, “were dug up in the moat of Holdernesse Hall. They are for the use of horses; but they are shaped below with a cloven foot of iron, so as to throw pursuers off the track."

That explains Holmes' confusion.

Holmes folded up his cheque and placed it carefully in his note-book. “I am a poor man,” said he, as he patted it affectionately and thrust it into the depths of his inner pocket.

Well that's only true relatively, Holmes. I think almost everybody is poor compared to him. And you're being a right little shit about this, aren't you? Not that he doesn't deserve it, but still.

So that was the case. The duke at the time of initially talking to Holmes didn't know where his son was so he really was just a terrible father in so many ways.

I hope the Duchess tells him where to get lost and keeps living in France on his dime, tbh. And that Arthur goes and lives with her because clearly his father doesn't actually care about him at all.