#and I'm at the point where I can't rot anymore cuz I have stuff to deal with but I just

[sillimancer]

I feel like my body has given up completely

[epicfranb]

warning: long rant/ramble under cut (i jump from topic to topic a lot)

I need to watch more Sausage vids so i can write him BUT lately I'm so tired from mcyt cuz it's basically the only thing i watch, i wanna read comics and watch shows again i miss it but i only hav minecraf on the brain :( my attention span is GONE (not that there was much in the first place but. I could easily binge an anime season or 2 in under a week. I can't watch a single episode a day idk why)

This is what I'm complaining about?? Really??? If i complained about the actual serious stuff that worries me you'd hear no end of it lol. It's kind of in the background, anyways looming over me (the anxiety) im kinda used to it but it shows itself in the little things that seem unrelated.. like that fact that i can't seem to do the things i actually wanna do anymore. It's called AVOIDING. im scared of failure, im scared of making myself upset, so i start avoiding it even if i like it and wanna do it. It's silly bc in this case it's literally about WATCHING COOL SHIT??? i don't wanna have another kagepro or winx club or naruto on my hands where im so unbelievably upset at the source material that o have this urge to complain about it ALL THE FUCKING TIME but i don't have it in me (maybe i have the skill, but not time and not motivation) to make rewrites for all of them that'd be fucking impossible, especially seeing as they're not exactly short stories or easy to write and structure and REwrite and REstructure n all that.. i have my own fics and stories to worry about BUT I'M NOT WRITING THEM EITHER honestly i thought graduating high school would make me better it made me worse actually. In some ways it made me better. Maybe it's just maturing (a little bit) but worse i mean that 1) I'm drawing way less 2) I'm not developing my original stories at all 3) i don't see comics anymore 4) i don't fucking go outside 5) i don't socialize 6) i rot at home all day IDK im trying not to say that i feel like a failure bc that's not exactly true?.. maybe i don't feel this way cuz im avoiding thoughts like this (im good at avoiding lol) and that's good. Cuz objectively I'm not a failure. I'm still creating, even tho slowly. I think I'm in my transitional point between like.. a worm that i was at school, just creating things with no real purpose, to bring a butterfly who creates more thoughtfully and is able to self express deliberately, because i know what i like and what i want to do now (moreso than i did before at least). Not a fan of an insect analogy but here ya go. Optimistic ending to my little rant at least.

Honestly i wanna do a series of complaining at stuff that i kind of hate-love. I have the most to say about kagepro probably, since i was into that for like 2 years, or maybe winx since I'm into it rn, and it has far more source material+ has a bigger world and now characters.. but i thought about it far less so far (i need to write down my thoughts more..) i really really want someone to talk with about it.. either winx or kagepro, idc. It would be funny to tell about kagepro to a person who doesn't know about it (it's still fresh in my mind... *shudders*) but when it comes to winx I'd rather talk to another fan honestly. So yeah.. rant over bye bye

[the-firebird69]

So we prepped all these missiles to hit the b**** she started her s*** and we nailed it you have to nail it again everyone's nailing Trump's too wooden ships are almost ready they've got a huge wave they're going to put out there the building giant ones out west it's time we have no more kids to send them a bunch of kids them built up into just sitting here like a million of them so call me back he's telling us where to bring him he's telling us where to put it shut up Chris. We're bringing them in this is flying in so we're going to bring him to a drop point what's going on now huge chips coming our way how about a mile they're fast you can arm them concrete them if you want Little layer of the concrete and epoxy they do that too makes it real solid so they're moving them in so giant number no it will make a big difference cuz we're going to put real armament so much a fast small ones too but a trillion so we're sending that out I was just going to sit there a lot let's they're going to sit there and rot in our son says we're just going to use them against this guy I hate. We hate. Is this really terrorist remarks so going after him and his terrorists preparing a huge strike against his terrace oh wait it's up and it's hitting almost terrorists are dead about 10 octillion it's threatening our sun so going after him here you can pull them out of here I can't stand him anymore.

You're firing on him too we have the castles and we're going to raid we're going to do huge raids see Max better hurry the hell up and others going after a moments huge crowds are going after his stuff giant things too pulling it all out and attracting is attention and they're firing on Trump and he's dying and getting our ranks ready it's for a huge invasion of Trump's territories huge okay we're going to pull everything he's got out I'm so sick of hearing this jackass.

We've got the word it's coming down going to hold off for 10 minutes and we see why they might lengthen it for 20 they're sending the 10 minutes formally to Mac and tell him the time 10 minutes from right now it's huge he says you never do that he sees why so he's acting everybody to go get the stuff huge numbers and we said our word is that word and we're waiting so they're going in and they're pulling stuff out so just like Paul castanelli is this idiot Trump huge numbers of people going after it they heard the casinelli's thing can't stand his f****** face is trying to imitate Billy still huge forces are coming out of Billy z and is seeking tons of stuff now it's a free-for-all and it's globally and it's a huge raid giant numbers of trumps are dead and Max says it you don't attack us you're attacking us and you're a freaking a****** so going after you I'm going to take your stuff and you're having your women call him a toddler you're such a spaz so we see you trying to form up overseas and ordering mine to go after the ships they're picking which ones and which ones Corky's near there's a huge for us going against him it's a giant Force humongous Force and it is irresistible and Trump is up in the midwest rapidly you keep sending more and they keep dying he's a heinous person he's a thief really back stabs people all the time hurt a lot of people kidnapped a lot of women and killed them keep saying stupid things about Hera and other women and he held Lori prisoner so we're going to annihilate that prick I'm going to release all sorts of stuff on him now

Mac daddy says that there's a huge Force going against him globally it's giant they're fighting over ships and they're fighting over Jets and playing some spaceships and iron and diamonds and rubies gems ships underground tunnels everything huge force it is gigantic it's probably 10 to one versus Trump and our son that's 10 bucks against Trump trump is up and hears it and we're placing the odds and a huge number so he's going to go so he wouldn't make much money but he would make money and he's asking her to put in a hundred bucks he's going to put in a hundred bucks if he wins we're going to get the money to him he knows why he helped with the whole thing it's a giant giant Force huge numbers they're going against him he's saying thank you to Jen and she says I'm real busy now I'm organizing tons and tons of troops we're going after that spaz the 10 minutes is almost up it's having a desired effect we're going to Olympus and they're thinking about it feel free I'm passing the order down 10 more minutes from the end of the last 10 minutes vital and got a swipe for writing it up and they're saying it over now with the seal on it and hardly anyone has seen the seal and they're all trying to see it

Hera says.

He's really big this was the people going against that idiot and they're going to annihilate him being he's being annihilated and he's trying to leave and ships here are getting ready and they're probably be a million ships out there but there's going to be old battleships and those have thicker armor and it's out of steel and it's hard to burn through and there's going to be ships closer in and I mean old like 1950s they're like a foot pick of steel a lot of Trump's armament it won't puncture it just sit there burning for a while then put it out and there's a bunch of jets too and Benny is up and yes it's Brian bja and his name is Benny and he sings the song but really his father singing about him and he's the wayward Son but he's returning and our friend says he says you have to be in defense there's too many foreigners and they fight and these people suck at it and they're getting through so he's getting ready and he's going to go up and do it and give his orders not to bother people they go after Trump because he's fair game and it's so ordered and he says you still have to look out for your interest but you're doing it by doing what you're doing and he sort of gets it he says we're not always the way out in the combat that's for sure so the firing on them. There's a giant forest I mean all over the globe they're trying to take ships and they're getting beat and they're trying to take other stuff to get here with jets and big ones and any jet and they can't they can't take spaceships or anything no motive transportation they're trying to take small ships and boats barges they're trying to make a rafts and they can't people are not allowing them to they're getting shot and killed piled up in the piles disappear it's a huge day for us this guy needs to go real bad him saying Tuesday is the day now everybody was jonesing for it on Tuesday

Thor Freya

The numbers are staggering each area that's probably 20 octillion of them piled up and it's probably 25 octillion in each area they're going to go real fast now