#and I'd like to bring it up to where I'm at

[copperbadge]

how do you/have you handled Fandom Micro-Fame re: dating, especially people you meet through apps? I dither enough about whether/when to even mention fandom to new non-fannish people! and I'd imagine that letting new people know you've written some very popular fics & having thousands of tumblr followers would look different than casually mentioning your audience to your therapist, for example :P (this is purely curiosity about your position if you're open to talking about it, btw - not looking for advice!)

In all honesty, until last year no attempt I made at online dating ever got that far. I rarely got a swipe on the apps, and usually when I did it was either someone cheating on their partner or, memorably, someone wanting to play out their fetish fantasy nonconsensually (this happened at least twice that I recall). It never got to the point where you'd talk about that kind of thing. In the rare cases I met someone in brickspace and dated, which last happened in grad school, I didn't talk about it -- but partly that's because at that time I had three thousand readers, not thirty thousand.

Lucky in fanfic, unlucky in love :)

The person I'm currently seeing most often knows that I have a blog with a large readership but hasn't asked any further; I only mentioned it to them because I felt comfortable giving further details if they did ask. This is very much a friends with benefits type of situation (by mutual agreement) so I assume it's something we either won't discuss or something that will arise organically. In a way it's fortunate that they're also dealing with a certain level of micro-fame as someone who is prominent in their professional field, so they're not particularly weirded out by my situation just as I'm not weirded out by theirs; they're also familiar enough with fandom not to find it an alien landscape.

Generally speaking I keep fandom and brickspace somewhat separate, though that line has blurred more in the last five years or so. I don't really bring up fandom to family or non-fannish friends, and the friends I made beginning in fandom I now have strong connections to outside of fandom, so they're not Fandom Friends, they're friends I just met online. While fandom is obviously important to me, it's not something I really feel I need to tell people about unless I get an inkling they'd actually be interested.

It's just kind of a non-issue for me, which probably isn't very satisfying as an answer. I talk about fandom with fannish folk, and I talk about other stuff with non-fannish folk. If I feel like someone would understand the crossover I let it happen organically, but especially in dating I just haven't dated enough to develop any kind of policy about it.

[damnfeelings09]

Valentine's day countdown: First date - Shadow the Hedghog

Pairing: Shadow the hedghog x female reader Tags: fluff, comfort, awkward crush. Word count: 750. Prompt: you and Shadow have been friends for a while, and although he has a massive crush on you and is dying to have you as more than a friend he's not willing to take that step (secretly he's very insecure okay) after a little encouragement from Sonic he asked you out he never imagined how it would end. Notes: First valentine's day prompt and what better way to start it than with my eternal love Shadow. I'm love/romance depraved so these promts will be fluff in its cheesiest and purest form (like melting chocolate in a super sweet cotton candy ice cream with a Cherry on top kind of sickeningly sweet) This time I'll try a different style so let me know if you like it.

Shadow wasn't afraid of anything. He was the ultimate lifeform after all, then… why did his pulse quicken every time he was near you? Why did he feel his palms get wet each time you smiled at him? Why did his fight or flight response activated every time you were there?

Shadow wasn't afraid of anything. But maybe, maybe he was afraid of what he felt for you, afraid that he would become addicted to the feeling of you caressing his cheek, afraid that he couldn't go on without seeing the sparkle in your eyes every day, afraid of getting used to the warmth of your hand on his, afraid that if he said a word of what he felt he would lose you, because let's be honest, who could love a monster like him?

He was unsure, and every time that happened he went to Rouge, however the bat was not at home, so he went to his second best worst option. Sonic

Sonic with his usual cocky grin as Shadow explained the situation. Sonic, the same Sonic that he punched every chance he got just to release some stress and because he enjoyed it, the same Sonic that screwed up time and time again running away from Amy was the one that Shadow had decided to approach for romantic advice.

“Just don't think too much about it Shads” Sonic had said ”She likes you, trust me”

“Easier said than done”

“Well, it's either that or you'll be stuck with ' what could’ve been' forever.”

Honestly, Sonic hadn't been much help, but at least he had planted the seed of doubt in Shadow. What would be the worst that could happen if he kept his feelings to himself? You would probably find someone, that someone would take your hand, receive your caresses, taste your lips and you would forget about him, leaving him aside, alone, unloved.

No. Shadow wouldn't let that happen, the little bit of love he got from you was too addictive and he wasn't about to let anyone else have it. He had made up his mind and although the chances of you feeling the same were low they still weren't 0. He still had no idea how he managed to do it, well maybe he had a little idea. He knew he had walked you home, he knew he had said a few embarrassing things as you walked together making you laugh, what he didn't know was where he had gotten the courage to ask you out when you were about to enter your house.

“See you tomorrow Shadow,” you said waving goodbye to him.

“Wait” he said almost in a whisper. You turned, shaking your head to the side “I... ah...” he scratched his head.

“Is everything okay?”

“I wanted to... I wanted to ask you out.”

“Sure! You know I love going out with you Shadow”

“As... in a date”

“Oh...” oh? What did that mean, it wasn't the yes he was expecting but it wasn't a denial either, it was as if he had surprised you, as if you didn't imagine he could have feelings for-

“I'd love to” you cut off his thought bringing him back to earth. The smile on your face showed shyness but the pink blush on your cheeks and the loud thumping of your heart confirmed to Shadow that his feelings were reciprocated. “I... I'd like you for a while, just didn't know of you might... like me too” you said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear meeting your gaze with Shadow's causing him to blush. If this were a cartoon his eyes would have turned into hearts and little blue birds would fly around his head.

“I've been feeling like this for a while too, just...”

“It’s okay” you smiled “I'll see you tomorrow for our date” you walked up to him and deposited a kiss on his cheek, waving your fingers in a goodbye motion and closing the door behind you. Little did he know that you slid down the door frame, hand on your heart triyng to stop the rush in your body.

Shadow stood outside your door, his hand holding the very spot where your lips had touched his cheek trying to capture the warmth of your touch, his stomach felt funny as if something was churning inside him just remembering your kiss. It was then that he realized that maybe allowing himself to be happy wasn't such a bad thing.

[iwanderbecauseimlost]

Okay.

Something that brings all of us together is our love for Tolkien's work, and its spinoffs.

So, question: What got you into Tolkien?

I'll start.

When I was 12, my father urged me to read The Hobbit. So I did, and I was mesmerized by it, to the point where I'd stay up in the middle of the night to read it. I never got beyond that, though.

Two years ago, I decided to reread it, and I fell in love all over again with the story, characters, Tolkien's writing style, everything. So I decided to read The Lord of the Rings. I got the first book, read a couple of chapters.. and gave up. It was too verbose, too prosaic.

The next year, that is, a few months later, I tried my hand at it again. This time, I got through four chapters, but I still couldn't read the rest. Then.. I began crushing on a guy who'd read it, and so I grit my teeth and went for it. I read, and read, and this time, I found myself enjoying it. Bonus, the guy and I got into conversation.

After finally finishing the first book, I even started the second, and watched the first movie with my family. (By way of flirting I asked the guy whether he liked PJ's Trilogy, and he told me he "found them low budget" so that, um, ended. I'm no longer crushing on real people.)

I read the second, the third book, reread The Hobbit a third time, watched all the movies, and joined Tumblr. Then I got motivated to read The Silmarillion. I'm currently working on that, as well as my Tolkien collection.

Honestly, one thing that fuels my love for the work is all my lovely mutuals who I've gained through this love.

So.. no pressure tags: @gauntletgirlie @wowstrawberrycow @valar-did-me-wrong @balrogballs @ghost-of-morrowbright @gingeragenda @greenleaf4stuff @dragon--ashes @dwarveslikeshinythings @numenoria @onebillionblorbos @zaldritzosrose @varda-star-queen @the-bogginses-are-gay @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @daughterofthesunlands @princessfantaghiro and anyone else I've missed/wants to join.

[cozmowrites]

New Year's (2024)

"Hey- grab me a slice of that cake!" Ashido shouted at you as you told them you were off to grab a drink of alcohol or two from the table. Todoroki told everyone about a New Year's party to have a fun reunion between the two hero classes. Pro-heroes, sidekicks, or whatever they wanted to be, everyone was alive with energy, reaching its peak. Music boomed, laughter echoed, and the aroma of fancy hors d'oeuvres filled the air, something Todoroki bought into. Everyone had gathered to celebrate the end of the year, reconnecting after years of carving their individual paths.

You picked up two glasses of saké in one hand, casually chatting with Ashido as she takes the cake from your hands so you could carry both glasses on each hand. Despite the festive atmosphere, you couldn't help but notice one glaring absence. Kirishima had come up behind Ashido and scared her.

"Bakugou's missing," you muttered.

"Yeah," Kirishima laughed. "He's doing his lone wolf thing again, probably glaring at the stars or something."

Ashido rolled her eyes. "Classic Bakugou. Someone should drag him back here."

Without a second thought, you volunteered. "I'll go. I could use some fresh air anyway. Plus, I wanted to deliver this extra glass to him." You held it up and the both of them wished you good luck in finding him.

Leaving the chatter and music behind, you wandered through the hallways of the venue, not really knowing where anything is, until you found the staircase leading to the roof. The cool night air hit your skin as you stepped outside. It was cold as fuck and you didn't think to bring your jacket or coat. There he was, leaning against the railing, his back turned to the door. His blond hair glinted in the faint glow of the city lights, and the skyline stretched endlessly before him.

"Thought I'd find you here," you said, approaching cautiously. He didn't turn, but his posture tensed slightly.

"What the hell do you want?" His voice was gruff. You were definitely bothering him, but that's what you do. Bother people and pry into their business.

You held up the glass of saké, even though he didn't look at you right away. "Figured you might need a drink."

He glanced over his shoulder, eyes narrowing before he sighed. "Fine." Taking the glass, he leaned back against the railing and stared out at the city.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence wasn't awkward; it was peaceful, broken only by the distant sound of music and laughter drifting up from below. You were cold and he took note of that, how the hairs stood up on your arm and the way the goosebumps formed almost immediately after. He hated that you tried to hide it and he shrugged off his jacket and placed it over your shoulders.

"Don't get sick." He grumbled quietly and you slipped your arms through the sleeves, immediately feeling warmer.

"Why are you out here?" You finally asked.

"Too noisy in there," he muttered, taking a sip of the saké. "Besides, it's not like anyone would miss me."

"That's not true," you replied softly, stepping closer. "Kirishima and Ashido were talking about you just now. They care about you, Bakugou. We all do."

"Tch." He looked away, but the faintest trace of a blush colored his cheeks.

You stood beside him, gazing out at the skyline. The countdown to midnight was getting closer, and the city seemed to buzz with anticipation. You glanced at him out of the corner of your eye, noticing how his usually harsh features softened under the moonlight.

"You're different, you know," you said suddenly.

"The hell's that supposed to mean?" He shot you a look as he took a drink of his saké.

"I mean you've mellowed out. A little. You're still grumpy, but you're also.. calmer. More thoughtful."

He scoffed, but you caught the flicker of embarrassment in his eyes. "Don't start getting weird on me."

"I'm just saying," you teased, nudging his arm gently.

A distant cheer erupted from below, signaling the final minute of the year. You both turned instinctively toward the noise, though neither of you made a move to join the others.

"Thirty seconds!" You heard someone shout from below, the sound faint but clear.

You turned back to Bakugou, a small smile playing on your lips. "Any resolutions for the new year?"

"No. Resolutions are stupid." He grumbled, though there was no real venom in his words.

"Fair enough," you laughed.

"Ten!"

The countdown was in full swing now, the voices growing louder. You felt a strange tension settle in the air, and when you looked at Bakugou again, his gaze was fixed on you, intense and unreadable.

"Five!"

"What?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Four!"

He didn't answer. Instead, he set his glass down on the railing and stepped closer, his crimson eyes locked on yours.

"Three!"

Your heart pounded in your chest. Was he about to—? No, this was Bakugou. He'd never—

"Two!"

"Hey-" You started.

His hand brushed against yours, hesitant yet deliberate.

"One!"

Before you could fully process what was happening, he leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a kiss that was both firm and unexpectedly gentle. Your eyes widened in shock, but you didn't pull away. The kiss was brief, yet it sent your mind spinning, leaving you breathless when he finally pulled back.

"Happy New Year," he muttered, his cheeks a deep shade of red.

You stared at him, still stunned. As the cheers and party seems to get louder below, the rooftop seemed quiet and the city felt distant. It was just you and Bakugou now. "Did- did you just kiss me?"

"Yeah, I did," he said gruffly, avoiding your gaze. "Got a problem with that?"

"No," you said quickly, your heart racing. "Just.. I thought we were only friends. You.. made that pretty clear on graduation day."

He finally met your eyes, his expression softening. "Maybe I'm done pretending that's all we are."

For a moment, you were too stunned to speak. Then a slow smile spread across your face. There was a hint of a smirk on his lips.

+++

masterlist ⟢

more bakugou ⟢

requests ツ

[onbearfeet]

Sometimes, you have to start a new quilt.

I started a project, years ago, to make a throw quilt for each season of the year. I wanted to be able to drape the quilt over a living-room quilt rack or maybe the couch and change it every three months. Voilá. Decor.

I wanted this for a lot of reasons, starting with the fact that lying under a quilt and reading is one of my greatest pleasures in life, but also including the fact that I have synesthesia. My brain tends to jumble up time, space, numbers, and colors. For example, the number two is dark bottle green to me, and history unfolds on a literal map in my brain. I could give you turn-by-turn directions to the French Revolution. It's weird in here.

One of the ways my synesthesia manifests is that months have color palettes. Some of them are what you'd expect--February, for example, is red and pink. Some are unique to me, like October, which is metallic gold and dark charcoal gray, like charred edges on a Klimt painting. I like to play with those colors during their months, usually in things like my nail polish colors. Thus, my quilt project would use my monthly palettes to create quilts that would keep my synesthesia brain happy.

This is my original summer quilt. It's called Victory Garden. (The quilts have titles. They're art. Shaddup.)

I used to love this quilt. I read under it. I spread it over my bed. It made my brain happy because July, to it, is these colors. I haven't thought of myself as especially patriotic since I left the cult, but my brain likes the colors it likes, and I mashed up two different fabric collections to make sure I got my color palette without having to include military insignias or quotes from slaveholders or anything like that. Mostly I wanted florals. Hence the title.

But after the election, looking at the quilt didn't make me happy anymore. It made me feel ill. I shoved it into a closet where I wouldn't have to see it and got on with staying alive.

Recently, my mom asked to borrow Victory Garden so she could refer to its pattern for a quilt we're making together. I think I'll "forget" it in her sewing room for a while. It still brings her joy, and it deserves to be loved even if I'm currently not capable.

But that means I'm out 25% of my seasonal quilts. That doesn't feel great, either. That's a lot of work, gone.

I got to thinking about summer, about the things I like about it. I decided that if I couldn't make a good summer quilt out of the June or August palettes (they're not very quilt-friendly), I'd try to find another inspiration. And on a whim, I started searching the names of summer fruits on a quilting website and found a collection called Blueberry Delight. Just looking at it made me remember making blueberry cobbler with my grandmother as a child, eating it hot with ice cream on top.

So tonight, I started putting squares together. This is the new palette of summer, assembled in the heart of winter. Blueberry Delight.

It'll take a while to put it together. Making something good to replace something bad always takes more time than you expect. It's work I didn't want to do, shouldn't have to do just because a bunch of fascist shitheads made a mess. But it'll get done eventually. I'll have something better someday.

And isn't the new thing beautiful?

[overdressedcarp]

I've been thinking for a while about the optional Magatama dialogue in The Cosmic Turnabout where you can prompt Fulbright about what's bothering him, and for both of the wrong answers, he acts like you got it right, and actively leans into the bit. For example, if you suggest that he's exhausted by life, he agrees and claims he's thinking about quitting his job and going to space. (Honestly, mood.)

(AA 5-4 and 5-5 spoilers below the cut)

It's a good line on its own: funny, and definitely relatable. With 5-5's context, though, it brushes up against a deep-seated desire to disappear, to run away and start over, something the Phantom hasn't been at liberty to do in years. He's shackled to a seven-year-old assignment, strangled by loose ends that he can't tie off. For maybe the first time in his life, he has to wake up every day and live with the effects of his actions, made blisteringly real in the form of the people he hurt.

(Do I think he's walking around harboring deep, profound remorse for UR-1? Not really, no. But the self-protective lie of "my choices don't matter because I'm not really a person" only goes so far when you're clocking into work every day to hang out with the guy who's on death row because of you, who's grieving because of you, and suddenly you're the only person he trusts to hear about the monster that ruined his life, and you planned for this but you didn't plan for this and honestly at that point I'd want to quit my job and throw myself into the vast expanse of space, too.)

Also worth noting, during this entire scene, any time Fulbright goes to answer a question or make an assertion about himself, the tinted glasses go up like a shield. Eyes hidden, hand obscuring the lower half of his face. It's something he does pretty regularly throughout the game, but it's egregious here. My man is on the defensive and he's giving absolutely zero ground.

But the big thing for me is the other "wrong" option, where if you claim that Fulbright is troubled by love, the Phantom's knee-jerk "yes, and," response is to tell a story about a carp named Love who ate a bunch of goldfish because he put them all in the same tank.

In the moment it's supposed to be absurd and comical and one more example of how hapless this guy is, but in retrospect, it's kind of telling that when the Phantom tries to conceptualize love in relation to himself, the first piece of Fulbright-flavored bullshit that comes to mind is about a creature that brings pain and death through mere proximity, not out of malice, but out of nature. As though, subconsciously, he's fixated on the notion of a foreign element that's been dropped into an otherwise peaceful space. A fish that seems like it belongs there until it devours the others.

He really could have said anything—he could have made up a story about a bad breakup, or a really sad movie, or a family member who died. He could have jumped to talking about Blackquill, and how he's concerned for his emotional state given the nature of the current case. But instead, his mind instinctively gravitates to a Love that consumes everything around it: a Love defined by its capacity for violence. There was never a world where the carp could exist alongside the goldfish without hurting them.

And idk. I feel like if he wasn't feeling some kind of way about that, then it wouldn't be bleeding into his Olympic-level improv gymnastics routine to convince Phoenix that he doesn't have any secrets and you can put the supernatural lie detector away now, thanks.

[darklove9314-blog]

A Kiss for a Kiss: A Gwynriel fanfic

Hello everyone, as some of you know today is Day 1 of SJM romance week (prompt: first kiss.) Thank you to everyone who helped me compile a list of couples for each prompt. and I hope you enjoy!!!!

Synopsis: When Azriel discovers that Gwyn is just as competitive as he is, a heated snowball fight turns into something more.

Snow clung to Azriel's eyelashes as he held his hands up for the flakes to fall upon them, watching them dissolve into his skin as he waited for both his brothers and his nephew to show up.

Footsteps sounded behind him, his fae senses picking up on them, noticing the difference in them as he whirled around dodging Gwyn's attack as she fell onto the snow with a groan, causing Azriel to lift his arched brows at her as footsteps sounded behind her, a voice calling out,

"I told you. There is no sneaking up on him. Trust me when I say I've tried." Nesta reminded her, Cassian's arm around her as Emerie stood at her other side.

"Is there a reason why you were trying to sneak up on me in the first place?" He asked Gwyn as she sat up, snow clinging to her cooper hair as she brushed it off of her coat.

"Nesta claimed that no one could sneak up on you, so I volunteered to prove that theory to the test."

A hint of a smile cracked on Azriel's lips as he said,

"Well I'm glad to prove her correct."

Gwyn huffed, stranding up as she crossed her arms over her chest in response,

"One day I will catch you off guard, Shadowsinger. Mark my words."

A chuckle escaped Azriel as he responded.

"You'll be waiting for quite some time. What are you all doing here anyway?"

"They were at the house with Nesta and I for solstisce, and when they figured out I was coming for our annual snowball fight, they followed me here." Cassian answered with a shrug making azriel glare in answer.

He had no problem hanging out with the females, he even formed a sort of kinship with Nesta after everything they had gone through, but that didn't mean he wanted them here when it was just supposed to be a tradition between him, Rhysand, and Cassian. He couldn't argue with Rhys bringing Nyx, he was a child after all, but the females...he wasn't so sure if he wanted them there.

snow crunched over to his side, making Azriel's head swing in that direction as he saw Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx come down the path, making him frown in response. Was there nothing that was sacred anymore now that both his brothers had found their mates?

"You too?" Azriel asked Rhys as quirked an eyebrow in question, his eyes finally flickering over to where the others stood.

"Feyre was just walking me over here, she was going to winnow to her studio as soon as she made sure we both got here safely." Rhys explained as Nyx babbled a greeting to Azriel, making him smile.

Nesta shuffled over to where they were, taking Nyx from Rhys's arms and giving him a hug in greeting,

"How is my favorite nephew doing?" She inquired as Nyx smiled, his two front and bottom teeth in full display. out of everyone in their inner circle, it was Nesta who seemed to make Nyx the happiest.

Nyx babbled to Nesta, making the female listen as Azriel noticed the love and admiration in Cassian's gaze. The two had decided to wait awhile before they had kids, but that didn't mean that he couldn't see that his brother was thinking about it, especially when he saw Nesta like this.

"What are you all doing here?" Rhys asked, directing the question at Gwyn and Emerie as Emerie answered,

"We wanted to see what all the fuss was about with this snowball fight. We were hoping we could watch three grown illyrian warriors launch snowballs at each other."

A blush painted Azriel's cheeks as Feyre laughed,

"I think it's adorable."

"Maybe we could all start our own tradition." Nesta said, glancing at Emerie, Feyre, and Gwyn as Feyre made a suggestion,

"Perhaps we could leave the boys to their game and meet the others for some hot coco."

"I'd like that." Emerie smiled stepping towards Feyre as Nesta handed Nyx back over to Rhys, giving the toddler a quick goodbye before joining Emerie and her sister.

Azriel wasn't sure why, but his gaze caught on Gwyn, her hair still flecked with snow, making her look even more beautiful than Azriel thought possible. He wondered how it would be like to-

He banished the thought away, not sure what had come over him as Gwyn barely spared him a glance before heading over to her sisters before saying,

"Sounds better than sitting here in the cold and watching the Shadow singer win."

"He doesn't always win." Rhys muttered under his breath as Cassian chuckled.

"True. I did win a couple years ago." He reminded them sending a wink over to Nesta, who blushed and giggled in response. giggled. Gods save him from mates, this was the last thing he needed right now.

Nesta sent him a week, a promise in her eyes for later as she extended her hand towards her sister.

"Shall we?"

"it might take me time to winnow all of us, but-"

"I could help you." Rhys told her, handing Nyx to Cassian as he came to meet his mate, offering his hand to Emerie as she took it and Feyre took Nesta, sparing a glance at Gwyn as she said,

"We'll come back for you in a second." She assured her as her and Rhys winnowed the two away leaving Gwyn alone with both Cassian, Azriel, and Nyx.

Azriel's gaze flickered to her while Cassian was distracted with Nyx, taking a moment to observe her. Although the priestess had gotten better at going out and being surrounded by fae who weren't the priestesses, Azriel knew there was still a small bit of hesitation and fear that still resided in Gwyn. A fear that wouldn't go away anytime soon, but Azriel still commended her strength and her willingness to take charge of her own life. it was definitely something about the priestess he admired.

Her teal eyes flickered to him in the mist of his stare as her eyes narrowed somewhat,

"Problem, Shadowsinger?" She asked as Azriel shook his head.

"Not at all."

Gwyn opened her mouth to reply, about to come up with some witty retort before Feyre winnowed in front of her, looking between her and the the shadowsinger before she addressed Gwyn, extending her hand outward.

"Ready?" She asked as Gwyn slipped her hand into the High Lady's answering,

"As ready as I'll ever be."

And before Azriel knew it, the two were gone.

"Are you still stuck on what happened earlier?" Nesta inquired as Gwyn's gaze snapped up to meet hers, the steam of their hot chocolate curing around them as they sat at a cafe by Feyre's studio where the others were bundled up inside.

"I wouldn't say that, no, I was- I was really hoping they would've let us stay earlier. i know that it's their tradition, and I can respect that, but-"

"Was it something that you and Catrin did together?"

Gwyn nodded, a lump forming in her throat as Nesta scooted to the chair beside her pulling Gwyn into her embrace as some tears escaped Gwyn's eyes, Gwyn swiping at her tears as she tried to pull herself together.

"Sorry, i didn't mean to-"

Nesta tipped Gwyn's chin up, her gaze meeting her own as she said,

"Don't feel shame for your grief, Gwyn. It's only natural. "

Gwyn nodded, laying her head against Nesta's shoulder until she felt like she could pull away.

She wiped away the tears, giving Nesta a sad smile as she focused on the here and the now.

"Thank you." She said as Nesta squeezed her shoulder in reassurence.

"Anytime."

She took a sip of her hot coco, letting the warmth fill her as she explained,

"Even though the memories are great memories, they still cut like a knife when I realize that she's still gone. When I realize that she's never coming back and I can never make those memories with my sister again."

Nesta listened, but Gwyn knew she could only understand so much, she never had to experience that kind of loss.

"Maybe we can do something to help ease your mind." Nesta suggested as Gwyn's teal eyes met Nesta's silver blue ones,

"What did you have in mind?"

A slow smile crept on Nesta's lips as Gwyn wondered what she had just signed herself up for.

Azriel crouched down in the snow, his fingers splayed on the ground as he listened and observed, waiting for any sign of his brothers as he hid behind the safety of the fort he had constructed.

Naturally he was in the lead, Cassian close behind him in second place as Azriel gritted his teeth, he would not let Cassian win this round. The last thing he wanted to do tonight was here his and Nesta's victory party at The House tonight if he did.

His eyes scanned the snowy landscape before a snowball flew past his head, making him dodge it as he growled, sending another snowball to Cassian's direction who swore, managing to barely dodge the one Azriel had hurtled at him but not expecting the 2nd one until it was too late.

A curse flew from Cassian's lips, making Azriel smile in response as another snowball flew at Cassian from Rhys and Nyx's direction, making Cassian swear again as Cassian rose his middle finger to both of them making Az chuckle. He was glad Rhys was on his side this time. Even if it was only for a little while.

He was so enamored by his small victory that he didn't see the snowball coming before it was too late. It slammed in the side of his face, the cold startling him and catching him off guard as Azriel's gaze flickered to that direction. Where the hell had that come from?

His eyes scanned the area, his senses tingling in response because he knew that had not come from Rhys or Cassian's direction as he caught a flash of golden brown hair before another snowball pelted him in the face making him throw out his hands in response. What the hell was-

Another snowball flew from another direction, pelting him as a flash of black hair caught his vision this time, him swearing he could see the flash of Emeries' smile before she vanished into thin air making Azriel's guard go up, what were they-

His back hit the ground, someone's body firmly slamming into his as he flipped them to the ground both their bodies colliding with one another as a snowball pelted the side of his face once more making him sputter at the coldness and shock of it as a laugh rose from his attacker's lips.

"Gwyn." He gasped out, the female grinning up at him triumphantly as he tried to catch his breath.

"And I thought you couldn't get caught off guard, Shadowsinger. Guess I proved you wrong, didn't I?" She laughed, amused as several emotions swirled around Azriel at once.

He didn't think, had only wanted to catch her off guard and swallow up her laughter as his lips meet hers in answer, catching her by surprise.

Still hidden by his snow fort, he knew the others couldn't see them as the kiss continued, Gwyn not pulling away as her hands cusped his face, their lips fighting for dominance as if this was just another challenge for the two of them to see who would pull away first.

He thought she would pull away when his tongue darted to her lips, asking permission to be let in, but what he didn't expect was for her to flip them around, straddling his lap as she deepened their kiss, his scared hands stroking her face as her hands met his own in answer moving her face to the side so she could deepen it.

He had been kissed by many people before, but none had ever measured up to Gwyneth Berdara, no one had ever kissed him like this, had made him feel this exhilaration like she did.

His hands moved to her waist, wanting nothing more than to feel the warmth of her flesh as her body answered his touch moving closer to him, both their bodies answering each other's calls as a cough was sounded in their direction, making them pull away from each other. A blush painting Gwyn's cheeks before his gaze snapped to everyone who had gathered around them. Embarrassment on all their faces.

Another snowball flew to the side of his face as Gwyn lifted hersef from the ground, a look of triumph in her eyes as she claimed,

"I win, Shadowsinger. Better luck next time." Gwyn laughed as Nesta and Emerie followed her, no doubt wanting every single detail as Rhys's eyebrows rose,

"You want to share what that was about?" He questioned as Azriel sat there, still stunned,

"I wish I knew." Azriel answered, swearing he could still feel her lips on his own as he gazed on Gwyn's retreating form, a smile curling on his lips as he sent the thought out to the universe.

Game on, Berdara.

@sjmromanceweek

[elcrdi]

I can't wait to meet these huskies. Layla is excited too. I think out of the two of us, you're more the chihuahua since you're so tiny—especially when standing next to me. PRIVATE: Thank you, Sabs. She went to the doctor and both her and the baby are healthy. We also found out that it's a girl. So I'm going to be a girl dad, I suppose. I don't plan on deserting her or the baby or anything. I'd never be able to live with myself if I ever did something like that. Things are complicated though, because I'm still not sure where we stand or how she feels about me. I just don't think now is the right time to even bring up any of that, since the main focus should just be about our baby girl.

i'm going to befriend us a couple of huskies, babe. leave it with me. as you should. it's a compliment! i mean, i could have said that you remind me of a chihuahua or something, ya know? private: honestly, jake, i don't even know what to say to help you feel better, or to help you make sense of it. you're great though, okay? and you're going to be a brilliant father. how's sydney going? i know this a lot for you to take in, and that your feelings for her probably complicate it even more, but make sure you're there for her, okay? i probably don't need to say that - you'll do the right thing.

[sombra-conlangs]

Conlang year 2025 · Day 1 - 4

I decided to try out @quothalinguist's conlang year, it is basically a series of daily prompts that guide you through the process of creating a new language, by the end of the year you will end up with a conlang that is developed enough to participate in relays and lexember, you can find it on quothalinguist.com

It looks like conlang year is mostly geared towards creating languages that are naturalistic and evolved from a proto-language, and the concept I have for this is not going to really fit into that, you'll see why once I start describing it, but I don't imagine that'll be too much of an issue, it's still useful to have a guide for the different aspects of the language I should focus on. I'll try to adapt the prompts to work with my idea and I guess I'll skip the ones that I can't figure out how to adapt.

I'll be combining many prompts together into single posts for convenience, I'll tag these posts as both #Conlang year and #Conlang year 2025 so you can search those in my blog to see them all if you want (once I name the language I will also add it to the tags, but the language doesn't have a name yet).

If you want to see all of the information from these posts compiled into one place I will be adding all of the information about the conlang I create on my website: tekseni.bearblog.dev

Day 1: Set an intention for your language

(warning: this gets a bit heavy, but I try not to make it too dour)

I haven't been feeling great lately, I won't go into details, I'll just say that it can be difficult to manage your emotions when the world seems to be in such a terrible state, living through historical events is not easy.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

I know there's some people who say you have to be constantly staying informed on every bit of news because if you don't you're a bad person, but that's not a sustainable way to live. It's important for us to keep ourselves sane, if you're going to help others through turbulent times you have to make sure you have your own feet on firm ground. I won't be of much help if I'm having a crisis, so taking care of my own mental health is important, and for many of us that can include a bit of escapism and using art as an outlet, using art as motivation to keep going and enjoy life despite the circumstances. This conlang is my escapism.

With all of that being said, here's my 2 main goals for this conlang:

1: I want this language to make me smile

I want to create something that helps me to find some beauty and hope in the world, I want the choices I make with the language to make me smile, and I want to be able to have fun while working on it, without having to worry too much about how naturalistic it is or anything like that, so ideally I'd also avoid comparing this to other conlangs.

If we compare this to visual art, I'd say this is less like trying to create an awesome painting with perfect perspective, colors and composition, and it's more like me doodling in a sketchbook that is meant primarily for me, but I also want to share it with others in case they find it to be at least mildly interesting or it helps inspire them in some way.

It's not like my other conlangs don't bring me joy, I guess what I'm trying to say is that this time I will try to design the language without worrying about things like naturalism or trying too hard to make my worldbuilding interesting or deep, it's just a canvas where I can throw paint and let myself go wild, trying out things I normally wouldn't, and making choices based on my personal preferences instead of what I think I "should" do, so I guess that makes this is a personal language.

2: This is going to be a surrealistic conlang

I have already decided who the speakers of my language will be, I'll elaborate more in the following prompts but I currently call them "dream angels" because they're basically benevolent beings that exist in the world of dreams, and because of this I want to try my hand at making a surrealistic conlang, @dedalvs wrote an essay on fiat lingua about what such a language might look like, and I keep coming back to it every now and then because I love the concept.

Even before that essay was posted I remember thinking of what conlangs might look like if they were inspired by different art movements, and a surrealistic one fits particularly well into the dream world idea, it will also allow me to fulfill my first goal fairly easily; making something that makes me smile without having to worry about naturalism and letting myself experiment. I've always been drawn to surrealism for one reason or another, not entirely sure why but I know this is something I'm excited to work on.

I'm not expecting this to be the best surrealistic conlang out there, but it doesn't have to be, it just has to be fun for me, and it will work as a learning experience regardless, so if I want to try again at some point I will have a better idea of how to approach it. I'm sure someone out there will make an amazing surrealistic conlang one day and I'll be excited to see it when it happens.

Day 2: Set an intention for sharing your language

Basically the main audience is me, I hope that future me will be able to look at all the different translations, grammar choices and vocabulary I made and feel like it's a fun language that still brings me some joy in some way or another, even if I don't keep working on it for much longer after the conlang year has ended at least I hope it was a positive experience.

I also want to share the language online (on this blog and on my conlang website) mostly because I'm hoping that at least one person is going to look at my conlang and feel inspired, or maybe it will make them smile too, so I'm going to try to describe all the features in a way that is understandable for other conlangers.

Day 3: Determine your speakers and conworld

The basic idea is that there is another plane of existence, one we can't see when we're awake, and the world where dreams exist is connected to this other realm, so when we dream we sometimes come into contact with the ethereal beings that speak this language, and they are kind and loving.

The dream angels usually don't interfere with human affairs too much, but they sometimes help us by making nightmares go away and soothing the people they see, at least while the people are asleep (since they can't interact with us outside of dreams).

They also shift the way they speak to be a bit more familiar to the person they're encountering, so I imagine the phonology of their language might shift a bit from its default form depending on what your native language is, the language would still be unintelligible to you but it would sound a bit like someone speaking your L1 in a weird way (which also means that it will be easier for you to pronounce the language if you are able to speak back at them because you will at least get to use sounds you already know how to pronounce, though you're welcome to pronounce it in its original form).

These beings are very surreal in their appearance, there's probably different types of dream angels but the ones I'll be working with are kind of like a mix of various sea creatures, drifting through space peacefully, building all sorts of things and admiring the nature that exists in their world.

I imagine their settlements are built on floating islands full of all sorts of critters and nature, and their world as a whole is probably a bit weird and doesn't always seem to follow logical rules, in keeping with the kind of things you see in dreams, so they might look a bit like something you'd see in an M.C. Escher artwork, where you're not exactly sure what you're looking at, but it has a certain beauty to it.

Day 4: Describe (or design) your speakers

And finally here's a picture I drew of a prototypical dream angel:

They might look a bit intimidating or scary to you, but I chose to take inspiration mostly from various sea creatures because they help to convey this kind of ethereal and weirdly beautiful aesthetic, when I look at jellyfish I often wonder how those are living beings that exist in our world, they look more like they're inanimate objects drifting in the water and yet they're alive, and they're so mesmerizing and fascinating, like a living nebula.

I imagine different dream angels would have different characteristics, but in general they're basically like some sort of jellyfish with 3 main tentacle-like appendages, many thin tendrils, 6 insect-like arms, 6 little wings (because it makes them look a bit more angelic lol) and they have one eye, but no human has ever seen their eyes because it is always covered by something, in this case it's a butterfly, but whatever is covering their eye it does not prevent them from seeing, this is the dream world after all.

I think there might be other types of dream angels, and they're all able to speak a human-like language because they don't need a mouth to speak, they just telepathically send sounds to other beings, so the speakers of my language will be characterized by being similar to sea creatures, perhaps there's other dream angels that are more similar to other types of animals, or inanimate objects, maybe some are just completely out there and don't even look like anything we're familiar with as humans. By the way if you feel inspired to design your own dream angels go ahead! I think it'd be nice if I was able to inspire creativity in others with my work.

I'm also choosing to use a human-pronounceable phonology because I enjoy pronouncing the words and sentences of my conlangs, but perhaps at some other point I will make a different register of the language that uses different noises as phonemes, maybe sounds of water and nature, or maybe something like one of those really peaceful synths, after all their phonology is not limited by their physiology or even things like logic.

But anyway that's it for now, I feel a bit vulnerable putting myself out there so much, this feels a bit more personal than my other conlangs I've shared, it's not like a regular fantasy worldbuilding project or a fanlang or an a posteriori language, this one is very out there and weird, but again I want to share it in case other people find it interesting, and hey, we need more examples of surrealistic conlangs, so I'm more than happy to contribute to that.

[cherryblossompink303]

Patience: ~Y/n in wonderland!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: You find yourself having the strangest dream ➼ what to expect:  "you can never admit that you are happy to help, you always put up a front of ulterior motives" ➼ warnings: Angst ➼ Part Twelve / Part Fourteen

"Please make sure that you are presentable y/n, Mr and Mrs Ootori should be arriving in half an hour" you took in your fathers words but they weren't fully processing, zoned out staring into the distance. You nod half mindedly.

"I am serious, this meeting is important" his voice is stern, attempting to make eyecontact with you. "Yes father" you mutter which seems to satiate him for now, leaving you sat alone out in the garden of your home estate. You sigh, head tilting back, which is when you see a pink rabbit in your upside down state. "huh?"

As you turn yourself round to the correct way you see that there is indeed a pink stuffed rabbit tumbling around the house. "what the-" you follow the rabbit down the hallway and out of the house. "Wait hold on!" You break out into a run as the rabbit rolled down your garden.

The rabbit waved tauntingly at you before dropping into a remarkably large rabbit hole. "No! Wait! Ah-" as you chase after it you trip on a tree root sending you down the rabbit hole.

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Y/N in wonderland!

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After falling after what felt like hours you finally land in what appears to be an abandoned music room."Ow."

Creaking brings your attention to a young boy who appears to be half monkey climbing out a piano "Excuse me!" The boy yelps at the sign of you. "Do you know where i am-"

The boy takes off as soon as you start talking, eating a banana and seemingly shrinking and disappearing through a tiny door. You kneel in front of the door, opening it, finding the rabbit and the monkey boy, who both take off at the sight of you.

"Where did that thing come from? There's gotta be some way out of here right? Unless..." you wander to the bunch of bananas, eating one which makes you shrink to a tiny size. Wander through the small door you find yourself in a corridor of light bulbs. "Promised?" you read the illuminated message. "Banana?"

As you read it out you slip on a Banana peel, launching down the tunnel and a hole at the end, shooting you into a pool. As you float to the top you find yourself somewhere else "Okay so now i'm in a pool?" You climb out.

"you've cried quite a bit huh?"

"huh?"

"You must have, to fill a pool this size. See this water is an accumulation of all the tears you've shed in life. It's rather impressive actually. Looks as though you've been through more than your fair share of hardships. Speaking of which I'd get out of there if I were you"

"Huh?"

The sound of water splashing draws attention to the fact that there a three crocodiles emerging from the water, approaching her. you yelp as you leap backwards out of the pool "What in the world?"

"What were those things?"

The crocodiles retreat, disappearing into the water.

"This place is way more dangerous than I thought. Hang on am I back to my original size?"

"Not yet. But we can take care of that for you. If you're interested."

"What are you talking about?" You approach the caterpillar on the mushroom. "It won't be cheap though"

"I figured, you can never admit that you are happy to help, you always put up a front of ulterior motives"

The caterpillar leans over to look down at you "Who are you?"

"I- At this point I hardly know"

"Explain yourself"

You sit before the mushroom "I don't think I can, I don't really know myself so I cannot explain myself"

"Ah, we have guests" you turn around to find a boy shrouded in black approaching holding the hand of a little girl. "Yes, hello. Might my sister and I have a bit of mushroom?"

"Of course, we can settle your tab at the end of the month"

"You know I think You're the most shrewd caterpillar I've ever met. What kind of stuff are you always writing down in that book of yours, huh?"

"Oh, anything, and everything. That's odd. You said 'always' just now, and yet you and I have never met"

"Always? Did I? I suppose you so seem incredibly... familiar"

The boy and girl bite into some mushrooms, causing the boy to shrink into a baby and the girl into a woman. "I'm sorry that's not exactly what I had in mind about getting back to size"

"Hey look! That little baby's crawling away all by himself!" You cry, noting that a door has appeared out of nowhere. "It's not any of my business" The caterpillar spoke.

You roll your eyes "typical, always picking and choosing" You run through the door, yet again tripping on a banana peel.

A laugh comes from seemingly nowhere "Nice going!"

"You may refer to me as duchess" A squeaky voice informs you. "huh?" as you stand up you realise you're suddenly in a kitchen. "The woman making banana soup over there is my cook, and this worthless lay-about is my cat"

"Pretty amazing cat. I've never seen one smirk like that before" you flinch as suddenly a ladel flies past your head, hitting the wall in front of you "Why do I have to be the stupid cook?" she starts launching bananas and dishes in the duchess' direction, who dodges them all. "It's not fair! I quit! You're always having fun and I always have to play the villain! Tamaki you idiot!"

"So does this mean you're the baby's mother?"

"Are you concerned for the child?"

"I'm just glad he found his way home, to have a safe place, a home, is the best thing."

"Well, I'm afraid I must be off now, would you look after him while I'm gone?" she hands the baby over to you "For how long?" the duchess shrugs "I couldn't say. I've been summoned to appear in court"

"Court?" The duchess disappeares in a hole in the floor.

"You know she's just pulling your leg. That doll doesn't really even belong to her in the first place." The cat speaks "huh?" you look down to find that you're suddenly holding a curse doll. "Hey what happended to-" You turn back to find that the cat is gone.

You place the doll down, leaving the room and finding yourself in a hallway. "Mr. Cat?" You spot him leaning against a pillar which he disappears behind. "Wait!"

"Over here" The cat pops up in a different place. "Pretty neat huh?"

"Um, sure, I guess"

"I can disappear" he hides behind the pillar, popping out from another one "And reappear, anywhere"

"That's great" You sound less than impressed at the trick. "So listen, I'm a little turned around. Do you mind telling me the best way to get out of here?"

"That depends" he switches places once again "On where you're trying to go?"

"Home of course. Back to where I was before"

"I'm afraid leaving here without an audience with the queen..."

"Is strictly forbidden"

"An audience with the queen?" you start walking down the hall once more

"You might say..." "That the queen..." "Keep close tabs..." "On all her subjects"

"This is ridiculous. If you want to talk, come out and stand still. Both of you"

"Both of us?" "What do you mean?"

you roll your eyes "Never mind" you walk off, leaving the cats behind.

Eventually you reach what appears to be a cafeteria, with a boy in a hat, a doormouse, and a hare sat at it. "No room" the boy says, both absolute and flippant at the same time

"Huh?"

"Yeah. No room left, sorry"

You look at the table, louds of chairs left empty. "Why there's plenty of room" you point out, sitting down opposite them "Can I ask you guys a question about this place?"

"You are quite closed off huh?"

"What?"

"You do not trust something a person tells you, be that as it may you will open up one day you know"

"I don't exactly have many people to trust"

"You look so different today, you're clothes are very...european"

"Well I am european, how else would I dress?" It took you a second to realise that a good majority of the people you have spoken to are japanese. "I forgot she doesn't know yet"

"Know what? You know, if you keep scarfing down junk food like that, you're gonna get cavities"

"Be sure to brush your teeth when you're finished" The doormouse reminds the hare. "Okay"

"A riddle!" the boy announces "Why is a teacup and a teapot rarely found in the same place on a table?"

"Well surely they do? they were found in the cupboard together if you have any organisation."

"Not in a cupboard, on a table. They match, they work together and go hand in hand and yet they are always seperated. Why?"

"I suppose it does not make sense"

"It doesn't!" the boy exclaims.

"Hey! Would you like a glass of red wine?" The hare asked. "Sorry I don't drink, i'd rather have tea"

The boy leans over to the hair "She is so suited to place alice it's unreal, she's even quoting it back to us"

The clock chimed loudly "It's always three o'clock here" "Whcih means it's always snack time!"

"So, then, where is this place we're in anyway? i mean a little while ago I was sat at my house with my father....waiting for one of this business friends to arrive to discuss...my betrothal"

The boy closes the pocket watch "Riddle me this, what do you and Kyoya have in common now?"

"Kyoya? Kyoya...Ootori? the boy who..."

"What will you do once you're engaged?"

"Once you're engaged, to this boy, what will you do?"

"Well...go about my life I suppose, hope that the boy is kinder than i know his father to be"

"You do not trust that the two of you can be friends?"

"I can't, the only person I can trust to look after me is me"

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why do you think that?"

"Because that has been the case most of my life"

"But that won't mean that it will always be the case, perhaps the reason you think you can't depend on others is that you reject it"

"Huh?"

You get cut off by a fanfare of trumpets "The queen is now holding court"

"The duchess is scheduled to be executed"

You stand up "That's an outrage!" the boy sips his tea "One does not fight the queen's whim trust me"

"Well, I can't sit here and do nothing!" you run off

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"Duchess. You stand before us now, accused of coming to the Royal Music Festival by invitation, do you confess to your transgression?" you slam the door open into the royal court "What transgression?"

"Who disrupts this court?" the king questions.

"I do. I'm here as legal council of the accused"

"With all due respect your majesty. It is my duty to attend the royal music festival"

"Even if it means leaving your precious child alone? Your crime is not a question of attendance, but of abandonment. This act is unforgivable. To cause such loneliness in a child"

"Your majesty the child was not abandoned."

“When a mother leaves because she must, the child understands! Sure, they have to defend themselves, but they’ll have plenty of help if they know where to look!” You remind, unaware of where your thoughts are coming from.

“Besides, if you execute the duchess, how is her child any better off-?”

“Silence yourself, wretch! There’s no room for your emotions in this courtroom!”

“But that’s absurd! To conduct law without emotion, you might as well leave it up to some sort of machine!”

The king seems speechless, “Astounding insolence. Tell me, precisely how long have you been in the legal profession? Are you even qualified to practice law in this court? Are you not, in fact, guilty yourself? Why don’t we discuss your crime?”

You take a step back, confused, “What on earth are you-”

"Page hand!" The pink bunny from earlier tumbles in, handing the king a piece of paper "I submit to the court a bank account registered in your name containing all the money your family has ever given you"

"huh?"

"Do you or do you not have a bank account as an emergency fund in case you ever need to escape and provide for yourself?"

"i- yes- but that is not a crime-"

"Theft is however, you have been asking your parents for money for appliances and school supplies and then putting the money into the account instead haven't you?"

"Witnesses! Those party to the crimes of this so called lawyer are demanded to come forward and testify"

From seemingly nowhere the boy in the hat appears in court "It would be my privilage, your majesty"

"What are you doing here?"

"This girl has what might be charitably called a lack of faith in her surroundings"

"What?"

"She has put up a strong wall to ensure that regardless of what happens she will be okay, and in turn placing the finishing line at okay and have not even considered happiness"

the jury of girls in masks laugh "Now how is it you know my name?"

"Huh?"

"My name, how do you know it?"

"How do i know?"

The cats appear out of nowhere "Yeah, and somehow you knew we were twins"

"And about my little black book, lest we forget"

"And about my cavity"

"How is that?"

"How is that?"

"How is that?"

"How is that?"

"How is that?"

"How is that?"

"Well I..."

"Hasn't it sunk in yet?" the king takes his mask off "You've certainly made a life for yourself here y/n"

"Father you're the king...does that mean" you turn to the queen who remains seated "You are so big now" she speaks

"Don't let the fact that i left persuade you that everyone will"

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"Wow, i've never seen you dose off like that before" You wake up to find Tamaki dressed as the mad hatter shaking you awake. "Hurry up and get ready, we have guests coming every minute now" he nods to a blue dress hanging up in the corner.

You shake your head through a smile as you approach the costume. "I hope you guys are right about this"

Next time on patience 'Covering the famous host club!'

Tag list (reply to be added): @skottch @cgmajor @rebirthbunbun @bbybubbles @blueberry19000 @katgirl05 @smellslikelovinglies @veras-fanfic-reblogs @sadprimrose @mirtalikesdr @sleeplesssskeleton @ritzes28 @crackpeole @rory-cakes @renjunniex @II-kita-san-II @angelicwillows @missbrebre1012 @sleep-7372 @strawberrbitch @reticent-writer @eternal-dokja @meme848

[funkygroovejam]

What my heart sounds like this morning, but before I drink my coffee. I did a few short breath holds. Maybe I should have drank the coffee first. I wanna be next to someone who says "Hurry up and finish your coffee. I wanna listen to your heartbeat." Someone asked me to do a video of my heart sounds while I mimic my heartbeat -- Heck yes! I LOVE videos like that. Seeing someone mimicking their heartbeat is soooooo insanely sexy. I'd love for someone to be lying on my chest mimicking my heartbeat-- OMG!!!!!

I went to sleep at 2. I got home at 130. I hit the local brewhouse at 730, for their Valentine's Day event. It was fun. There was a guy I went to high school with playing acoustic guitar as live entertainment. He played great tunes. He was playing a Jar of Flies tune as I was walking out. I gave him a tip and a thumbs up. He's a huge Phish phan too. Where are all my cardiophile Phish phans? I know I'm not the only one. He plays at local venues every so often. I'll be finding him on facebook later on, along with the gal I met there who I graduated high school with, and who was at our reunion in november. They were both fun to hang around with and chitchat with.

At 830, I went to the concert venue. One of the bartenders were wearing a cheapie stethoscope. It was a toyish steth. I asked her "what's the deal with the stethoscope." She said she found it. She also is doing something with medical school. I asked her if the steth works. She said it does and that she used it on herself-- HOT! I told her I have a whole bunch of stethoscopes and that I collect them. I also told her I have a doppler and an ultrasound machine. We talked for a bit as the band was just starting. I didn't feel comfortable getting more involved with a heart conversation. It just didn't feel right. I walked away and got into the music. Perhaps the next time I see her working there, I'll mention the stethoscope. Maybe I'll have more courage at that time to actually tell her I like heartbeats. If the mood and situation isn't right, I don't wanna bring up such matters. I gotta feel the vibe if I'm gonna go into such things.

[sabrinahawthorne]

Sorry to OP, Jack, and Aaron, but it's my turn to hijack. Because as it turns out, I've also been thinking about this, and I have an additional solution: Cultivate a Casual Audience.

I spent most of the latter half of 2024 thinking about this issue, by way of thinking about a more pressing issue for me: how to make a living doing this. I'm a disabled artist who's largely unable to work otherwise, and I'd really like to have enough income of my own that I don't always have to rely on those very supportive people in my life. Eventually, I came up with a plan.* Walk with me.

Imagine that you're starting up a local movie theater, and you're pondering the topic of audience. What kind of audiences do you want to draw for the best balance of profit and taste? It seems to me that you have three options: 1. Pander to the MCUboys. This is a super reliable audience, obviously, and they've got money to spend. The problem with this approach is that you're just further slicing the pie - sure, they're a big audience, but you're only ever going to draw a proportional fraction of them, roughly evenly split with all the other theaters in town, including the AMC downtown. Plus, you'd be tying yourself to a property that won't last forever; it's not sustainable, even if it's profitable now. 2. Pander to the Indieboys. This also isn't a great plan - sure, the indie folks are by far your most dedicated crowd. They'll show up for anything, and they'll do it regularly. But as with all indie art circles, they've been passing the same $20 around for the last decade. It's just not profitable enough to keep your business afloat. 3. Cater to a Casual Audience. As a movie exhibitor, this is easy. Everybody goes to the movies! All you have to do is do stuff other than just movies! Maybe sell food in your lobby space and fill it with seating - now it's a dinner spot, too! Or maybe sell local art, too. That way you're getting the attention of people whose focus isn't on movies, and maybe they'll decide to book a ticket to something while they're here having a meal with their visiting parents.

In my city, the local indie theater does all of that and more; they hold monthly workshops where a local artist teaches a workshop on how to do their weird niche thing. In fact, I did one last year, and it was great! About seven people showed up, and one of them was my mom. But you know something? I made a tidy little profit from tickets, and sold a few games besides.

You may have spotted the problem: that being that tabletop RPGs don't have a casual audience. This artform is stuck between two extremes: the MCU and the gorehounds. As others have pointed out - 99% of people who've heard of this medium at all have exclusively heard of D&D, including a lot of pretty hardcore, invested D&D fans. On multiple occasions, I've tested the waters by asking someone if they play RPGs, with the response being "yeah! I've been playing D&D with my friends for like three years!" and then, when I ask if they've ever played anything else, they hit me with the "there are other games? I had no idea!" It's not just that D&D is the most popular thing; it's that to most people - even those who we would consider significantly invested in the medium - D&D is the only thing. The idea that other games can exist at all is alien to a lot of folks. Pretty scary, huh?

Well, here's the twist. It's actually a super solvable problem, and you might be able to do it where you live, for free.

Step 0: First Principles Before you begin, you'll need to iron out your goals and your approach. For me, this is pretty simple - one, I don't talk about D&D. Whenever I'm talking about RPGs, especially to newbies, I straight-up act as if D&D doesn't exist unless someone else brings it up. If I need a standard fantasy RPG that's still in print, I default to Pathfinder, or something more niche if I think I can afford it.† Two, I decide right now that selling my own product is going to be pretty low on my priority list. This is for two reasons, the most relevant one being optics - I want people to feel like I really care about this hobby (which I do, to be clear), and promoting my own work when I could be spotlighting other people's games is going to clock as kind of shady to some people. Because, frankly, it is.

Step 1: Avoid Your Local Game Store Which isn't to say don't shop there, obviously. I only mean that for this little project of yours, the local store won't work. Why? Survivorship bias. Your friendly local game store is, through no fault of their own, the MCU theater. They only pay rent because they sell D&D and Magic cards - and let's be real, Magic cards are the smaller market. Don't blame them for this; they're doing everything they can, and the fact that they can afford to buy stock of Monsterhearts, or Avatar: Legends is a mark of their success. But the fact is, they're the plane that made it back. Their audience is almost entirely D&D-heads. Those aren't the people you're trying to reach. Instead, you're looking for a local art spot. A popular coffee shop that doubles as a gallery; A used bookstore with weekly storytimes and programs for local authors. Somewhere that meets these two criteria: a) they cater to a wide, casual market who do not come here for tabletop RPGs, and b) hold any kind of regular event. Poetry readings, book clubs, anything like that.

Step 2: Talk To The Owners I'll be real - this is the step where I got the most lucky. See, I was about two days into formulating this plan when my local movie theater decided to start hosting weekly board game nights. As in, anyone can show up, bring-your-own-game, play with whoever you like. For free. The opportunity fell into my lap. Even if I hadn't already done business with this place, I wouldn't have needed to bring this plan up with them. They'd just given me a free opportunity. You may not be so fortunate. In your case, then, you'll want to bring your pitch around and see who bites. In many cases, this is going to be you starting up a new event at this location, and that means a lot of responsibility on your shoulders to maintain the schedule, the marketing, etc. The thing is, though – there’s always more going on in your city than you imagine. In my experience, a lot of these local art spaces are pretty bad at advertising themselves, and all it takes is a little searching and some in-person friendships to get you in touch with something you can take advantage of. Maybe your library has some kind of regular mingling event – old-school fantasy geek meetups, or a star-trek fan group who meets every other week at the mom & pop diner. See if there’s something you can ride the coattails of, before you take the leap of organizing your own event.

Step 3: Be Prepared I made a spreadsheet. I have the next six months planned. I don’t go to every game night – instead, I show up every other week. I’m there the full two hours, no matter what. Unless I have to, I never show up alone. I bring pre-made characters, a pre-written module, pencils, paper, dice, and two dice boxes. If I have one, I bring a physical copy of that week’s game. If nobody bites, no worries – I just carry over that game to the next week, ad nauseum, until it gets played. I select for smaller games that I already own. One-pagers, zines, that sort of thing. I also select for games I think are either accessible to newbies, or which I would consider required reading. Lasers & Feelings; Roll for Shoes; Crash Pandas. I also selected my timeframe very carefully. I’d burn out if I prepared a new game with characters and an adventure every week, and people would forget about me if I did it only once a month. So it’s every other week; enough time to not stress overmuch about prep, but not so long that people forget, or quietly assume I stopped coming.

Step 4: Persist Then, I mingle. I talk to people who show up alone; I make a show of being an open table. And I ask everyone I meet: “Do you know what you’re playing tonight?” This step takes patience. A fucking lot of patience. My first two weeks (which is to say, my first full month, real-time), nobody bit. That was due to a combination of factors; for one, it was still January, and the event was pretty dead. It’s gotten better since. For another, I went alone those weeks. It felt kind of pathetic, honestly – but I knew what I wanted, and I was willing to wait for it. And it’s working. My last showing, I came with two friends, and two other people showed up. One of them told me at the end of the night that he had someone in mind to invite along. Folks, this is a long game. A really long game. My plan is to do this every other week for the rest of the year, barring a few things, and my goal by the end of 2025 is to have four, maybe five, regulars. But I know what I’m here for, and I know it’s going to take a while.

I’m cultivating a casual RPG market in my town. Because that’s really what we need, isn’t it? This is a really niche hobby, but it doesn’t have to be. Wizards of the Coast have proven, in their own slimy way, that RPGs can appeal to a huge array of people, if they’re given an open door. If you care about de-monopolizing this hobby and opening it up for more artists to be able to make a living, then our goal needs to be generating a casual gaming audience that isn’t funneled through the filter of D&D to get to the other side of indie. They need the opportunity to try out the medium from other angles. And if you’ve got the time, energy, and inclination, I think you can give it to them.

*This plan won't work for everyone. In fact, I suspect it won't work for most of us, for one reason or another. I think I'm pretty lucky both in terms of the support network I have in my private life, as well as some of the material & geographic resources at my disposal, and this solution requires all three. But I hope that some of what I outline here is transferable to other people's circumstances as well.

†Hey. Hey, look at me. Look me in the eyes. Pathfinder is indie. No, stop. Look at Me. D&D is the only mainstream RPG. I'm not kidding, and I'm not exaggerating. Please, please understand that you and I are the kinds of movie fans who think Reanimator is mainstream, okay? We're the indie freaks who are passing that $20 around. We have a tendency to lose perspective on what the average normie has heard of, let alone played. I'm begging you not to discourse about this in the notes.

Art Communities and TTRPGs

I recently read an article by @toyourstations (which you can read here) about art revolutions, both online and in physical space. It makes the point that art communities online are generally fairly insular, rarely reaching out beyond a small circle of other artists. To combat this, the article argues that you as an artist should find a way to exist in physical space around people who are not in your small group and share your art there. It's a topic that I had been thinking about a lot lately as I've been making a conceited effort to connect more people in the indie ttrpg space and encourage more community amongst artists.

I've noticed a trend that relates to both of these topics. It seems to me that people in the indie ttrpg community online rarely interact with other's works. I see in other art mediums an outpouring of interaction on even the most sophomoric works. Yet amongst ttrpg writers, I see posts of well made projects with little to no interaction or feedback. This is purely subjective and my experience may be skewing my view on the topic but it seems to hold true.

I have a few theories.

This is obviously a fairly small community, but there are at least other artists here that would have opinions about the projects they see. Are people scared to interact; to give criticism, both good or bad? You would think in such a small community of creator/artists that people would be sharing ideas and writing critique.

The most cynical theory is that creators don't want to boost up other projects as they see them as competition. There is a feeling that there is only enough oxygen in the room for one or two projects to exist and you don't want to lift up other projects when it may result in the starvation of your own.

There is also the time investment. It takes time to read and interact with ttrpgs. Playing/testing them is a whole other level of commitment. But there must be some people who at least read or skim projects. Why do they not leave comments. Does it really come down to the size of the community? Are there just not enough people interested in projects outside of their own?

----

I do feel that I need to state that this opinion is not a reflection of my personal project's engagement. I am fairly happy with how they have performed considering my size and reach. This frustration is mostly a product of seeing other projects and artist gain zero traction when I think their projects are worthwhile. This also goes beyond Tumblr as a platform. Obviously there are a million factors that play into this, but I think a community initiative to engage more with smaller works could change the landscape of the ttrpg community online.

[phoenixcatch7]

It's always funny to me when in an lu fic the chain is offered bananas and don't accept them. Like, you're offering these high energy adventures free food?? Fruit they'll have never even heard of before??? A ridiculously expensive imported good at best?? AND it boosts your attack?

Not ONE of these idiots would ever turn down something new and interesting to eat at least once. They'd be all over those bananas and immediately get dubbed yiga and I'm honestly surprised no one has used it in a fic yet 🤭

[boughclan-clangen]

moon 0, page 7

>air thick with dread.

PREVIOUS || NEXT FIRST

[lunarharp]

pretty & cute witch men

[dazzle02]

Fiona and Lip vs Mickey (They did not hate him or treat him unfairly!!)

People love to claim Fiona and Lip were always super unfair to Mickey and I need to get all this out. I said in my last post that I would make this post at some point, and so I'm doing it now because I need to get it out.

I'll start with Lip.

So during the first 3 seasons Lip was the only one who knew about Ian and Mickey. And he was always pretty supportive about it really. At the end of S3 he made one comment to Ian about how the good thing about falling for Mickey was that you could always do better. Was that necessarily nice? No. But I never actually even took it as Lip truly not liking Mickey for Ian. Just as that thing people often do when their friend/sibling goes through a breakup. Trying to make him feel better, and adding in a little trash talk about the person who hurt them. But also, their relationship hadn't exactly been the most healthy. I love Gallavich, but we can all acknowledge that, right? Mickey had beaten Ian up just a couple episodes before that. Also, Lip very rarely got to see them together pre season 4. And when he did, they were pretending there was nothing going on because Mickey didn't know Lip knew. Lip literally saw Mickey walk off to go have sex with Angie while Ian was right there. And sure, he would've likely been told some of the better stuff about their relationship (if it can even be called that in 1-3?) but for the most part he only got to see the bad, and also the bad was what Ian was gonna talk more about because that was when he needed to get things out. So yeah, Lip may have had a little bit of hesitance towards their relationship at that point in time.

And same in early S4 when he asked Ian if it was really a good idea that Mickey was still at the house. That wasn't anything actually against Mickey as a person, that was about the situation and the fact that he knows how much everything hurt Ian.

Also, he knew about Mickey being gay since S1 and Mickey never even suspected he knew anything until S4 when Lip had to hint at it to try and get him to say whether he'd heard from Ian. Lip knew that wasn't something he was supposed to know, and so he only knew it when he and Ian were alone.

In S4 when Lip was looking for Ian, Mickey was the first person he asked after Debbie and Carl. And he didn't push. He just asked if he'd heard from him, the only thing I'd say could be classed as pushing was his "are you really gonna make me spell it out?" about his and Ian's relationship. And even that he quickly backed off from. Then he said he'd let Mickey know what kind of trouble Ian was in once he found out. (And by telling Mandy what was going on, he did...)

Season 5 is where it gets interesting and where I see the most shit about Lip being unfair to Mickey.

We see Lip and Fiona go to Mickey to ask him to try and talk to Ian about going to see a Doctor, they explain the symptoms of Bipolar they're seeing in Ian. They mention Monica to point out that they know what they're talking about. (We also see that Lip is actually amused by Mickey when he's beating that guy up and yelling up to his wife...) And Mickey ignores them. And that must've been SO frustrating and scary for them. But they don't hold it against him, because they understand!

Then we see Mickey go to Lip and ask about the doctor after the debacle with the suitcases. And Lip is visibly worried, but when Mickey tells him things are okay, he believes him. Or he doesn't quite believe him, but he doesn't push. And this is something I often see people think the opposite of. People often seem to believe that Lip will push Mickey over Ian's Bipolar, that he won't let him handle it himself and just insert himself in and not trust Mickey has things handled. And honestly, after this I wouldn't have blamed him if that was true. But it's just NOT.

Then we really get into it. Episode 5 happens. Ian hasn't come home and Mickey goes to find him and learns he left the club with some other guy and he's pissed. But he can't get to Ian, so he goes after Lip. (Just like in 1x03...) He and his brothers invite Lip to join them in their shooting stolen guns at a window thing, then try and leave him to take the fall. They literally could've destroyed his entire life. And look, Lip was an adult and made the choice to join them. But at the end of the day, Mickey was angry at Ian and tried to take that out on Lip. AND IT IS NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN! Lip never holds it against him. He could've. Maybe even should've. But he doesn't.

Because the very next episode is when Ian has taken Yevgeny and Lip goes to the Milkovich house with Fiona and is totally fine with both Mickey and Iggy and it's like nothing happened. And the car scenes!

Mickey apologises because he realises that he should've listened to Fiona and Lip when they told him that Ian needed help. And Lip responds that yes, he should've. Because he should have. Then proceeds to let him know it can get worse. But then the second car scene, once they have Ian. Lip tells Mickey that he did his best. That he knows he tried, and that that's more than most people would do. With no prompting. Literally the episode before this, Mickey and his brothers had tried to set him up for a crime they'd committed and didn't apologise or anything, and yet Lip is so quick to assure him he did okay. Despite the fact that he likely does have some anger at the fact that he didn't listen to them from the start.

Then when he and Fiona are going to pick Ian up from the hospital, he says he thought Mickey would be there. Lip can see how much Mickey loves Ian. He was surprised he wasn't there.

That deleted scene from after Ian didn't go to Mexico with Mickey next. "People say "You always went a little loco when Mickey was around." THAT LINE WASN'T ANYTHING ABOUT IAN'S BIPOLAR OR THE WAY MICKEY HANDLED IT! It was a "I know how in love with Mickey you are and how much you'd do to be with him." That wasn't a criticism of Mickey. And Lip saying he doesn't think he should've gone wasn't either. It was just that he didn't wanna lose his brother, and that he also knew it likely wouldn't be good for his health. (Which I talked about in my last post...)

In Season 10 when Ian tells Lip he thinks Mickey killed Paula, Lip's response is that of course he should lie to the police and say that Mickey was there all night.

Lip literally tells Ian he thinks he should marry Mickey the next episode, but only when he's ready. That first he needs to figure out why he doesn't want to at that moment. And he was right. Ian was so clearly going through something at that point in time, struggling with his feelings of worthiness and about his Bipolar and legally binding Mickey to that for the rest of his life.

And then along with everyone else Lip does everything in his power to make the wedding happen. Which, yes the wedding is also his brother's. But you don't go that far to make sure your brother gets to marry someone you don't approve of or like.

In S11 there's the "family only" moment, but I get what Lip meant there. It wasn't that he didn't consider Mickey to be family, it was that he felt the conversation should only be the Gallagher siblings. This was their childhood home, it was a discussion between them. He also told Tami to back off. The "What so Mickey's family but Tami isn't" thing also didn't come off as a criticism of Mickey being family to me, more as a "Tami is the mother of my child, marriage isn't the only way to become family." But I get that might just be me.

And they butt heads a lot, I get that. But at the end of the day, Lip does approve of Mickey. I'd even go as far as to say he likes and cares about him.

Now onto Fiona.

Let's start with the fact that she had no idea anything was even going on between them until suddenly Mickey was living in their house. And she never really said anything about it. Just had a little confusion about it.

The real starting point is when she realised Ian was Bipolar. People claim she did a bad job at explaining it to Mickey and made it sound like something that could never be stabilised in any way and that the only answer was hospitalisation. But like, she was terrified too. Her little brother who she loves is in a depressive episode and she's just realised he's likely Bipolar and the only experience she has of it is her mother. Monica. She was absolutely terrified because the last experience she had with Monica at that point in time was her slitting her wrists in the kitchen. Her entire childhood was totally chaotic because Monica wasn't taking her meds. (Plus everything with Frank, and I'll always say he's far worse!! But this isn't about him...) She has never experienced someone actually being able to live a good life with bipolar where they're not just hurting everyone around them. And of course she was getting frustrated, because even though logically she would've understood that Mickey just doesn't know anything about Bipolar, it likely felt like he was invalidating her trauma. ("Depressed? We all get fucking depressed." "He's depressed we'll cheer him up." "I'll hide the knives until he perks up.") Not only would that feel like he was just saying "it can't be that bad, you're overreacting and I can fix this." but also some of these things are likely things she'd thought or said about Monica when she was younger. Trying to cheer her up when she's depressed, trying to downplay it a bit to help herself deal. But she knows from experience that's not how it works. And she's terrified because now it's her little brother.

But she agrees to let Mickey take care of him. She can see how much this means to him, that he's determined and that he's not going to let her get him to a doctor. (Even though legally she could've as he was still underage and she was his legal guardian...)

And people also seem to think that the Gallaghers just abandoned Ian with the Milkoviches while he was depressed and didn't help out or anything, but the scene of her and Ian going for that run together doesn't feel that way at all to me. I've always felt they'd go to see him whenever they could and do what they could to help out. But at the end of the day, he was at the Milkovich house and they couldn't just be there at all times. (Just another criticism I see a lot that I hate...)

As I said in Lip's section, they go to see Mickey to talk to him about getting Ian to see a Doctor, and he refuses.

At the end of the episode when Ian shows up to their pool party Fiona immediately asks where Mickey is. Which means that she not only either extended the invite to Mickey to come too, or just assumed he would, but also cared enough to ask after him when he didn't show.

In episode 2, Mandy asks Mickey if they should call Fiona when Ian's planning to go kill a bunch of homophobes. (This unintentional foreshadowing to Gay Jesus though...) Mickey immediately says no because she'll take him to a Shrink. Again, I get that's scary, but that was what he needed.

Mickey finally calls her when Ian takes Yevgeny and she immediately goes over there and calls Lip too. She also doesn't lay any blame at Mickey's feet. There's no getting annoyed that he didn't listen to them when they warned him. Just need to find Ian.

She smiles when Mickey calls himself Ian's boyfriend in the next episode when they're going to visit him. She's comforting towards him when Ian leaves after the visit by assuring him that he's just sedated and adjusting to meds and that it'll be okay. But doesn't push. Then later tells Gus that she thinks it was really hard for Mickey.

Here's the part where she gets the most criticism though. "I thought Mickey would be here." "I didn't." THIS WAS NOT ANYTHING AGAINST MICKEY! She had seen how hard the visit was for him. She saw his reaction and how freaked out he was. This wasn't her saying "I didn't think he'd come because he doesn't actually care about Ian and he's the worst!" No! It was her saying "I didn't think he'd come because I saw how much it hurt him seeing him like that and haven't heard from him since." Also, she wasn't wrong. He wasn't there. Like, we know why. He was struggling with everything and that is understandable. But why is Fiona just so awful for believing something that turned out to be true?

Then of course Mickey came back and all was good. And Fiona wasn't surprised by that. She never held it against him that he wasn't there to pick Ian up. There was no animosity. He offered to help her out with Carl's Court outfit stuff, she just asked if he could use an iron and then they walked off together to go do that and possibly talk or whatever.

Then Mickey was still just walking about the house like it was his own after Ian was arrested. This was totally normal to Fiona. There was no question whether Mickey would be going with them to see Ian in Military Prison. When they got back she was fine with leaving him with Debbie and Liam as if it was totally normal.

And I spoke about her line in S7 about how Mickey would set a match to Ian's life in my last post. But I'll say it again here. It wasn't about Mickey as a person or his relationship with Ian. It was about the fact that Mickey was literally a fugitive. He'd just escaped Prison and was a fugitive. Ian could not have been in a relationship with him at that time without destroying his entire life. Without losing his job. Without losing his family due to the fact that he would also now be a fugitive and wouldn't be able to have contact with them. Going with Mickey would cost him everything. She was right. He would've set a match to Ian's life. And he kinda did. To me it was never about her thinking Mickey was bad for Ian. She knew how much they love each other and she saw how good for each other they could be. But at that point in time, they couldn't have had a good relationship. The circumstances were too bad. She didn't want that life for Ian. Constantly looking over his shoulder because the Police were looking for him, always on the run, never able to really see his family.

They didn't have many interactions, but a lot of them were during a time where both were terrified for Ian and wanted to handle it in different ways. Both came from places of love. But Fiona's also came from a place of experience, while Mickey's came from a place of inexperience.