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trippinsorrows · 1 day ago

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without you + four

authors note: damn. it's been a minute. wanted to at least update this story for ya'll before christmas. i'll try my best to not make the next update take as long.

warnings: none

song inspo: be without you by mary j. blige

one + two + three

words: 5k

“Ooooh, this some nice white people shit.”

“Alexis!”

Leave it to this girl to always say some out of pocket shit at the wrong time. You offer an apologetic gaze to the workers who cast her an almost strange look at her outburst before elbowing your best friend. “Bitch, would you shut the fuck up.”

She sucks her teeth, offering an excuse versus an explanation. “What I say?” She gestures around the backyard that’s just about fully decorated. “You know black people. We usually got that one nice centerpiece of them big ass balloons and a Sam’s or Costco sheet cake for baby showers. That’s about it.” Rolling your eyes, she just has to add on. “It’s like when we have a funeral, and they done put Grandma Rose in them ghetto ass clouds talking about some sunrise to sunset.”

At that, you have to laugh. “Okay, you not wrong there.”

“I’m never wrong. Duh.”

“Whatever.” You take in once more just the opulent display that Alexis and Kaylah have been working on over the past few weeks. Initially, they wanted to find a venue to rent, but considering this baby shower will only include close friends and family, a venue seemed like too much. Not to mention that Joe has been adamant about trying to keep this pregnancy as private as possible. Not necessarily from a place of wanting to hide it. No, if that was the case, he wouldn’t have shared some of the maternity pictures you took not even two weeks ago to his Instagram.

Or even some faceless photos of Callie.

But, that’s something he can control. A sharing he has autonomy over and full say in. Paparazzi crashing your baby shower is not, thus the two of you deciding that the shower should just take place at your home.

And given the massive size of not only the actual house but your backyard, it’s a great decision.

“It’s all looking so nice.” Kaylah’s voice enters the conversation as she walks over, clipboard in hand and a smile on her face. “How you doing, mama bear?”

Rolling your eyes, you answer honestly, “feeling big and pregnant.”

“Well….”

“Shut up, Lex,” you mutter, rubbing your belly. “These babies have definitely been kicking my ass with this back and breast pain.”

Granted, being five months pregnant with triplets, it’s an expected sort of discomfort. It’s helped immensely to have a fiancé that’s home and attentive and always willing to do whatever he needs or rather, whatever you need. He’s taken over Callie duties on the evenings where you just feel tired. He cooks most nights, partially because he knows your feet hurt and are swollen usually. But also, that little traitorous little girl of yours has made it clear she prefers daddy’s food over mommy’s food. He’s even gone as far as calling your mom and asking for tips on how to do Callie’s hair, as your ever growing belly has made that a little bit more difficult.

Put simply, he continues to be the perfect man. You couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life.

Kaylah moves closer, hand on your stomach. She, along with other close family and friends, never need to ask. It’s just the strangers who you don’t know that need to stay six feet away at all times. “I can’t believe we’re only four months away from meeting them.”

Alexis shakes her head. “Earth, Wind, and Fire truly have no idea what kind of big ass, loving, chaotic family they’re about to be born into.”

Blowing out a breath, you scold her, “girl, how many times I gotta tell you to stop calling them that?”

“Would you prefer Thing 1, 2, and 3?” No answer is all the answer she needs. “That’s what I thought.” And, of course, she has to just sneak on in there another attempt. “If you would just tell me the sexes—”

“Ain’t happening.” You shut that shit down real fast. “Joe and I already made it clear. We’re not revealing that until the shower.” A special thing kept between yourself, your fiancé, and the child you already share, as Callie was present for your last checkup appointment where you were able to find out the sexes.

“Bitch, the shower is literally tomorrow.”

“And you, along with everyone else, will find out tomorrow then.” Alexis is visibly, playfully annoyed, as Kaylah only laughs.

“I understand. We’re just excited. That’s all.”

And, you get it. The farther along you get in your pregnancy, the more excitement you feel at getting to meet your babies. All the shopping, the setting up of the nurseries (you and Joe decided on two rooms), even the deciding of the names. Even more, it’s been so special to have a partner in all of this. You might not have gotten that with Callie, but you’re damn sure getting it now, and it feels good.

—------

“I don’t know if I should take her to Disney by myself.”

Joe’s seemingly random statement takes you by surprise. Turning to him with a frown, you ask, “what?”

He sighs, also angling his body to you while his focus remains on your belly. “You’re so far along in your pregnancy. Anything could happen.”

“But, it won’t,” you stress, reaching up to palm his cheek. “Joe, I’ll be fine. My mom will be here with me. Both Kaylah and Alexis are less than 15 minutes away. I won’t be alone.” Because that seems to be what he’s thinking. “I want you guys to go. She’s really looking forward to it, and not just because the kid lives and breathes Disney.” Largely thanks to yourself and your mom. “Plus, that’s what she wants for her birthday.”

“Or a puppy.”

“I swear to God, if you or your mini me bring up that damn puppy one more time.”

He chuckles and moves to kiss your temple. “Just don’t want to not be here if you need me…”

“I’ll always need you in one way or another, Joe.” The God’s honest truth. “But, our daughter needs you more, and I want her to get in as much one-one-time with you before the babies arrive and she suddenly has to share you with three siblings.”

He eyes you, recognizing the unspoken concern in your statement. “You still think she’s going to get jealous?”

“I know she is,” you answer, matter-of-factly. “She’s a little kid. A mama and daddy’s girl. It’s natural. We’ll just have to make sure we reassure and look out for any signs.” Though you know not everything can be caught, and kids are sometimes good at hiding what they don’t want their parents to see. Granted, Callie has always been pretty open with you, so you hope that doesn’t change.

As the two of you move back to folding clothes, you find yourself changing the subject, “also, not related, but before my baby brain kicks in, I was thinking, what if I applied for a job at her school?”

It’s something you thought about when you and Joe toured the private school that Ellie attends, a nice, expensive but safe option considering sending Callie to public school in the fall doesn't seem like the best or smartest move.

Working at your daughter’s school is also just something that would make you feel a little better. A new school. A new educational milestone. You wanna support her and be there for her as much as you can.

However, the less than thrilled look on Joe’s face definitely takes you by surprise.

“You’re gonna work?”

It’s such a simple but silly question that makes you scoff quietly, “of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugs, grabbing another item to fold. A part of you is wondering if you’re even going to have room for the gifts you’ll receive at the baby shower tomorrow. You two have already gotten so many things, clothes especially. “Maybe because we’re about to have three newborns.”

Rolling your eyes, you calmly counter, “No shit. I’m not thinking of going back right away. Maybe next fall. They’ll be one. Callie will be starting first grade, so it would be nice to be working at the place where she, and they, eventually, will be at.”

When he doesn’t say anything, you’re inclined to prompt a follow up when he finally breaks his silence. “I don’t know how that’s supposed to work.”

Frowning, you ask, “what do you mean?”

Joe sighs, an edge in his voice. “You seriously want to go back to work when we’ll have three one year-olds?” And before you can respond, he continues. “Who’s going to stay with them, Y/N? You’ll be working. I’ll be on the road—”

“It’s not like we’ll be working 24/7, Joe. And we’ve got a huge support system here. Your family. Kaylah. Alexis. It’s not like we’re alo—”

“You don't need to be working.”

Silence.

It’s a good minute before you speak again. “Excuse me?”

He blows out a breath, running a hand through his hair that’s down and hanging. “I want you to stay home with the kids full time—”

“Joe.” Cutting him off isn’t the best thing, but your emotion is starting to get the best of you. “You know me. You know damn well that I’m not the stay at home wife type. I’ve worked consistently since I was sixteen years-old, and I’m not about to stop just because you want me to.”

You love what you do. Teaching might be a stressful career, but it’s always been more rewarding than anything. And truth be told, you can’t imagine a life for yourself where you’re not doing it in some capacity.

Joe’s voice is even, his expression stern. “It’s not about me, Y/N. It’s about what’s best for the kids.”

“And if what was truly best for them is for me to be here full time, then I would do that, but it’s not necessary—”

“And that’s where I disagree with you,” he pushes back, angled completely toward you, arms crossed. He shrugs. “I think it is.”

Partially taken back by his stance on this, it still doesn’t prevent you from standing your ground. “Well then, I guess we’re not on the same page here then.”

“Not at all.”

It’s a strange thing, being on such opposite ends of the spectrum. Joe has always matched you so well, and unfortunately, that can include the level of stubbornness. He is never one to back down, but neither are you.

So where does that leave you two?

“Mommy.”

Callie’s quiet voice breaks the intense impasse. Clearing your throat, you turn to her and force a small smile. “What’s up, sis?”

She moves her hands behind her back, teetering up and down on the heels of her feet. “Will you color with me?”

An easy answer if it will get you out of this room that’s suddenly filled with an uncomfortable amount of tension.

“Callie, mommy and I need a few min—”

“Of course, I’ll color with you, baby.” Again, you fully recognize that cutting him off is rude and not the best way to handle this. A petty way, certainly. But, he also knows that when you get pissed off, it’s best to just give you some space.

Even if it’s not the best thing overall.

Not even bothering to look back at him, you walk over and take Callie’s hand, escorting you both out the room with another word.

Left alone with his thoughts, still irked at the conversation as a whole, Joe quickly and easily realizes telling you what he wanted you to do wasn’t the right approach.

He knows he has good reasons for his preferred plan regarding the whole work thing, but he also knows you, or should know you well enough, to know that trying to tell you what to do has never and will never end well.

It’s just he definitely wasn’t expecting your approach and outlook on this job thing, even if it makes sense for your character and what he knows about you. There was just this part of him that was thinking you’d maybe take a couple years off before returning to teaching. Wait until the kids are a little older. That makes most sense to him, and he’s sure if he maybe responded better and was cleared on his reasoning, you’d have been a bit more receptive.

Maybe not have walked out.

Joe’s phone dinging in his pocket prompts him to pull it out.

Megan: Hey there! Just wanted to follow up and let you know the housing and travel arrangements are all finalized.

Megan: Though I’m curious, you requested a house instead of an apartment?

Megan: That’s a lot of room for just one man. 😉

Joe does find the added emoji a little strange, maybe unprofessional by some standards, but it’s the least of his worries right now.

Joe: Thank you for the update. My fiancée and daughter will be coming to visit when I have to stay for a few days for filming. Need the room for them.

And, it’s not set to happen very often, his management working with the film execs for a schedule that’s pretty flexible and allows him to be back home the same day for most of the filming. It’s just those few instances where he has to stay overnight, a couple days even, that he and you decided would be the times where you and Callie would stay with him.

Megan: Oh.

For some reason, Megan's response rubs him the wrong way, which is strange because up until this point, he’s had no issues with the young woman. She’s been professional, helpful, and informative.

Megan: I think it’s so cool how family oriented you are. So freaking sweet.

Joe truly has no idea how to respond to that, because it’s not inherently wrong. If anything, it’s just a compliment, but there’s something about it…

Megan: Anyways, won’t keep ya! Hope you have a great rest of your evening, babe! ❤️

It’s that message, however, that crosses the line, prompting him to reply and remind her of his boundaries.

And her place.

Joe: As you said, I’m very family oriented, so I’d prefer if you didn’t call me that. The emoji is also inappropriate and makes me uncomfortable.

Someone never uncomfortable with setting a boundary, he feels nothing when he sees the typing bubble appear and reappear several times before her response slides in.

Megan: I am SO SO sorry. I’m so used to working with women, so my dialogue is sometimes women coded. Again, my apologies. Have a great evening, Joe.

It’s a response that he appreciates and doesn’t feel the need to respond to. He said what he needed to stay. She apologized and made it right. It’s all water under the bridge.

Joe goes to lock his phone and put it away when a thought crosses his mind.

You have his passcode, are free to go through his phone, not something that you’ve ever done but something he doesn’t care about regardless. However, if you were to go through it for some reason, seeing this exchange could most definitely make you feel some type of way.

And, it’s not that he feels guilty, Joe knows he handled it appropriately and accurately. But, he doesn’t want you getting upset, doesn’t need you experiencing any kind of unnecessary stress.

Something he’s already inadvertently contributed to by not handing your argument a few minutes ago correctly.

None of that is good for you, and especially not for the babies, and when it comes to this pregnancy, he's not taking any risks.

Especially not with you as far along as you are.

Joe ultimately decides to delete the last three texts, letting the conversation stop at the “family oriented” comment from Megan.

Again, he doesn’t need a situation that’s not even a real situation being an issue.

It’s just better this way.

—------

You’re touching up your makeup, about to apply another coat of mascara to add the finishing touches to the complete look for the baby shower when you take a moment to appreciate your appearance. The white dress is beautiful against your melanin, and your mom did the damn thing with your hair. Ultimately deciding to wear your hair natural, mama opted to put it up in a beautiful, fancy updo that perfectly frames and highlights your beat face.

The final product is something stunning and perfect, the ideal look you wanted and were aiming for on this big, special day.

A knock on the bathroom door prompts you to lift your gaze to the mirror where you’re met with the lingering stare of your handsome fiancé.

Taking in his outfit, a white, short sleeved button up shirt, khaki shorts, topped off with white and gold Nike Freeks, a small smile falls on your face. It’s the perfect look for him. So Joe.

He walks in and closes the door behind him, coming to stand behind you. Your eyes shut as he holds you, hand on your bump, head in the crook of your neck.

“You look beautiful,” he compliments with a kiss pressed against your moisturized skin.

“Thank you, baby,” you murmur, reaching up and caressing the back of his head. “I’m sorry….”

“Naw, I’m sorry,” he interrupts in an equal voice, carefully turning you around as looks down with an apologetic countenance. “It wasn’t right for me to try to tell you what to do.”

“Maybe, but I wasn’t exactly trying to be receptive.” Sleeping on it helped you arrive at that realization that with all of the glaring, embarrassing clarity. “I think I’m so used to doing things my way that I forgot it isn’t just about me and what I want, it’s about us and what works for my family.”

“I don’t want to take away from your autonomy, Y/N.”

“I know that, Leati.” Hand moving to palm his face, you remind, “but these babies mean we’re all going to have to adjust one way or another. I might have to take some time off from working full time.”

Because as much as you love what you do, Joe was right in that your kids might need you to be home more. Full time, even. And while it would definitely feel a little off going into a school year and not having a classroom to call yours, taking care of your children and making sure they’re straight would more than fill that void.

“And, I’m going to see about making my part time schedule permanent,” he shares, moving his hand to your hip, giving a gentle squeeze when you open your mouth to protest. “It’s what I want, babe. I told you before, I don’t want to miss anything else.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead, suggesting, “maybe you could do something part time?”

“Maybe.” You shrug, reassuring, “regardless, we’ll figure it out and do what’s best not for you or for me but for our family.”

Because that’s what most important. Doing what’s best not for one but for all of you.

“We will,” he agrees, brushing his lips against yours, “I don’t ever want to go to bed not on good terms again, you understand me?”

Your thighs shouldn’t clench together the way they do at his commanding tone. It’s a serious thing that you agree with, but it’s the combination of his hard body against yours, his cologne invading your senses, and his minty breath against your face that has you pushing back….something.

“Yes, daddy.” A cheeky, double entendre that has his eyes narrowing.

There's something so innocent yet downright filthy as he promises in a darkened voice, “you know Imma fuck the shit out of you when all is said and done today, right?”

Fuck.

More fluttering, even if it’s something you already know. Because it’s been three days, and that’s far too long to go without your favorite pastime.

Hand moving over his crotch, you palm his dick through his pants. “Good, cause mama needs her fill.” Licking your lips, you add, “if we had time, I’d suck your dick right now.”

Because five months pregnant or not, so long as you can find a way to have this man inside of you, that’s exactly what you gon’ do. You both love sex too much to go too long without it. And, you both know the window in which you can realistically be sexually active during this pregnancy is waning, so you’ve gotta make the most of the time you do have.

Joe’s glare is light and teasing. “You such a nasty lil’ thing, you know that?”

Smiling and moving your arms around his neck, you cheekily remind him, “but that’s part of why you love me, ain’t it? Because I match your freak. Because mama loves when daddy puts her in her place. Ties, whips and bondage included….”

“Fuck, Y/N, you tryna make me hard?” A rhetorical but also serious question as he drops his hand to your backside, taking a handful of your supple ass in his big hands. “Want daddy to fuck his pussy with all them people down there and outside waiting for u—”

Several hard knocks on the door followed by a familiar voice. “Mommy! Daddy!” A smile breaks on your face as he closes his eyes, clearly trying to settle himself. “Grandma says it’s time!”

Laughing quietly, you call out, “okay, baby. We’ll be out in a few minutes.”

And, of course, your forever inquisitive child has to ask, “what are you guys doing?”

Joe chuckles and slaps your ass before moving to open the door, a grinning Callie smiling even harder as she looks up at her favorite person. “Daddy!”

Reaching for him, Joe doesn’t hesitate to lean over and pick her up. Your smile grows at the sight of Callie dressed in her adorable white and gold dress, your mom also styling her curls into two big pom poms.

She looks so much like Joe in this moment.

Callie gasps and compliments, “mommy! You look so pretty!”

“Thank you, Callie Bear.” You move over and kiss her cheek, deciding your current look is good enough.

It’s time to celebrate your growing family.

—------

The Baby Shower is something out of a dream.

Beautifully decorated, whites, blues, and pinks spread across your backyard, the aesthetic is very Pinterest aligned and everything you could have imagined for a day meant to celebrate the three lives you’ve created.

Guests including several members of Joe’s family like his mom and sisters, Jon and Josh and their families. Alexis, too, of course. Jadah was invited but unable to make it due to work obligations. Regardless, it’s a wonderful outcome, being surrounded by all the people you love the most here to be with you during this great time in your lives.

It’s a lot of laughter, a ton of great food, a tremendous amount of gifts, and an abundance of love that's felt from the moment you, Joe, and Callie walk out to the sound of Baby by Ashanti playing. Continues as there’s a damn near mass chorus that’s formed when When I See You by Fantasia comes on.

And the classic dances such as the Wobble and Electric Slide to Candy by Cameo that you most definitely get your big and pregnant ass to partake in.

But, one of your favorite parts has to be the photo station, several photos taken of yourself and Joe, various shots of his hands placed protectively over your stomach. Callie joins you for a couple photos as well, though it’s not missed upon you when she makes a face after one of Joe’s sisters jokingly makes a comment to her about “not being the only kiddo in the house anymore.”

It’s something you’ll certainly circle back around to at the end of the party, and it’s a time that’s nearing as the three of you start to kick off the moment everyone has been waiting for.

Joe’s deep voice travels across the spacious yard as he keeps an arm around you, Callie holds onto his shirt and stands on the other side of him. “We just want to thank all of you for taking time out to be here with us today.”

“You already know we weren’t about to miss this,” Trinity shouts.

Jon laughs and adds, “hell no. Can’t remember the last time we had a set of triplets join the family.”

“That’s cause it don’t happen a lot in general,” Alexis chimes, sipping on her Henny. “But Big Di—”

“Like Joe said,” you cut her off, already knowing where that was going. “We’re so happy and blessed to have you all in our lives, and it means the world to us that our children, the babies and Callie, have so many people who love them just as much as we do.”

Because knowing these amazing, wonderful people love your kids, even the ones that haven’t even arrived yet, as much as you and Joe do, truly is the best thing ever.

“But, we all know what ya’ll really wanna know,” Joe chuckles. “You wanna know the genders.”

A round of agreement prompts laughter with someone shouting out “hell yeah!” and Josh saying something about “winning the bet.”

As one of the workers brings over the three sets of balloons and pins, you and Joe make sure Callie has the right one before you take over. “Alright, is everyone ready?”

“Girl, would you hurry up? The new season of Baddies drops tonight!”

“Alexis, shut the hell up,” you laugh, shaking your head before turning to Joe. With a head nod, volume increased, you start with an excited tone, “the first baby is…..” And a small second of intentional delay before you pop the balloon, revealing blue confetti.

More rounds of applause and cheers as Joe proudly announces, “a boy.”

“I knew it!”

“The Tribal Chief got a tribal heir!”

“Whew, sis, start them kegel exercises now!”

When the celebration dies down, Joe and Callie focus on you for your turn. You lift up the balloon as he kicks off this time, “the second baby is….” Another intentional delay followed by a pop, revealing more blue confetti.

Eyes watering, you share loudly and proudly, “another boy!”

The pure excitement on everyone's face, including your mom who has silent tears streaming down her face, has you blotting at your eyes. This moment couldn’t be anymore perfect.

Joe moves to pick up Callie, kissing her cheek, asking, “you ready, Callie Bear?” She nods with excitement, you and Joe speaking in synchronization as you stand close to him with your hand on his stomach, “and the third baby is…..” Callie counts to three, closes her eyes, and pops the balloon.

And as pink confetti blends with the blue, she shouts with all the happiness, “a baby girl!”

The crowd of family and friends is the loudest during the last and final reaction, deepening your happiness, mimicking that of which was felt when Dr. Young revealed the sexes to you at your last appointment.

Two boys and one girl is literally perfect.

Your little family truly is truly going to be complete.

“And,” you cut through the cheers, one glance at your fiancé and daughter before you continue. “We have another surprise for ya’ll.”

“Don’t tell me there’s a fourth!”

Rolling your eyes at Jon, you cut right to it, “we’ve decided to share the names we’ve picked out.”

Gasps and excitement go around, Joe once again being the one to start off. “The firstborn boy will be named Iosefa Anoa’i.”

Iosefa.

The Samoan variation of the name Joseph.

Gaze on Joe, it fills your heart with so much love to see and hear the pride in his voice and on his face. Having one of your sons named after him is the least you can do for this man.

It’s what he deserves.

Clearing your throat, you provide the second name. “The second baby boy will be named Isaiah Anoa’i.” A strong, Biblical name. A name given in honor of your mom who has always loved said name. A moving gesture she clearly recognizes given the way she places both hands over her heart, mouthing ‘thank you.’

You mouth, 'I love you, too' back as both yourself and Joe redirect your focus to Callie for her big moment.

She giggles when Joe tickles her stomach before yelling, “and my baby sister will be named Moana Anoa’i!”

Deciding on names was such an intimate, thoughtful, moving process, and while they may not be as alike or even common as most triplet names, they mean something to you, Joe, and even Callie, who both yourself and your husband decided to let name her sister.

Callie is your firstborn, special to both of you in ways that you can’t describe, so giving her that only felt right.

And as you re-enter the group of friends and family who have gathered here for this special occasion, you can’t help but imagine what that’s going to be like when it happens again. On a different day. For a different reason. A year or so away, when you stand before them and God and take the man who completes you as your better half.

A beautiful day indeed, even if it’s more for show and aesthetic anyway.

Because unbeknownst to most of the guests, outside of Callie, your mom, and Joe’s mom, you have an appointment at the courthouse tomorrow morning at 10am sharp.

Because after tomorrow, not only will you and Joe Anoa’i share children.

You’ll share last names.

Because tomorrow is your wedding day.

You’ll officially be Mrs. Y/N Anoa’i.

#roman reigns fanfic #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns x black!reader #arisnotebook

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redfoxwritesstuff · 3 days ago

Text

Why Is Misdemeanor Of the Heart's Reader...

White Coded?

Yep, I said it. Come, take a seat and get cozy in the Fox Den while Mamma Kit answers some questions.

CW: Discussions of race and racism in a historical context and me being a wordy ass bitch

I've seen some discourse around Human!Alastor readers and writers and have gotten some of these questions myself over the last few months.

Firstly- I am white. I'm so fucking white that I use SPF 100 sunscreen. I grew up in Alaska. The history I learned growing up wasn't African American history; it was Alaska Native history. I didn’t learn about how we fucked over African American people in America’s early history. Instead, I learned how we fucked over the villages of the land I was raised on.

Why does this matter? The current accepted fanon for Alastor's human life is that he was a Black or mixed-race radio host who died in 1933 and reached his mid to late 30s or 40s. We know he had a successful career and was also a serial killer. He favored jazz, and rye is his drink of choice. He exists somewhere on the ace spectrum.

Time for a little math. Let's go with the middle ground—he was 40 in 1933. That means he would have been born around 1893. Let’s assume his mother was 25 when he was born. She would have been born in 1868. Using the same age for her mother, Alastor's grandmother would have been born in 1843. Remember this—it’ll matter in a minute.

For MisD and all of my human Alastor writing, as well as the works of many other human Alastor writers, we approach Alastor's life through a historical lens. I, like many others, enjoy exploring a time period rich with change—dynamic and vibrant with energy, money, and hope.

What does this mean? This means Alastor would have faced significant amounts of racism. Being Black, mixed-race, or how well he could pass as white would all drastically impact his life. It affected what opportunities he had, the education he received, and how laws were applied to him.

Ready for a history lesson? The Emancipation Proclamation was issued by President Abraham Lincoln on January 1, 1863. It declared all enslaved people in rebellious areas of the United States to be free. Alastor's grandmother—based on the ages we used earlier—would have been a 20-year-old woman at that time.

Alastor would have been raised by a first-generation free woman. He likely wouldn’t have had access to public education, instead being taught in group homeschool-like sessions by those who had learned to read and write.

If he was mixed-race, he would have faced significant discrimination from all of society.

The Civil Rights Movement in the USA didn’t begin until the mid-1950s—a full twenty years after his death.

The reality is that we don’t know a lot about the Black experience during the early to mid-1900s. Much of this history wasn’t recorded by (white) historians. Instead, it was passed down through stories from parents to children, and so on. Only now are we starting to uncover and listen to the histories, stories, and experiences of Black Americans during this time period.

Remember how I mentioned at the start that I’m white as fuck? I don’t have grandparents I can go to and ask about the Black experience when they were children. First—my grandparents are all dead, and second—they were somehow whiter than I am. Their perspective wouldn’t help me because it isn’t my family’s story to tell.

What I can do is look at what we do know, listen to the voices of Black Americans who are finally being allowed to share their stories, and reflect that in my version of human Alastor. I can spend the time to research and learn. For instance, Alastor would have been ahead of his time—the first Black radio host was in 1929, a man named Jack L. Cooper from Chicago. He hosted the first Black-produced weekly variety show and showcased Black entertainers.

I can listen to stories of how mixed-race men were afforded the privilege of their lighter skin as long as they were useful to their white employers, only to be scapegoated the second anything went wrong. I do my best to reflect these stories in Human!Alastor's experiences and behaviors.

Why A White Coded Reader? I cannot even begin to hope to understand the Black American experience as it is now, let alone how it was in 1922, when MisD is set, or in the late 1910s, when my other Human Al fics take place. What I can understand on a deeper level is the white woman's experience, the experience of poverty, the experiences of abused women, and what it’s like to view the Black experience from the outside looking in.

And so that is what I try to highlight with my Human!Alastor fics. Yes, when I’m writing a Human!Alastor fic that deals with racial, class, and social politics as one of the themes to be explored (such as MisD), the reader is coded as white. It is through a white reader that I can have conversations with Alastor about why he feels he has to be perfect, why he straightens his hair, and so on. I cannot do proper justice to these feelings on a deeper level from a Black perspective because I can’t even begin to hope to understand it.

I cannot truly understand what Alastor’s Blackness would mean to him or how he would feel about being mixed. However, I can learn and understand how it impacted his life from the outside looking in. This is what I strive to do—to shed light on what Alastor’s accomplishments would have meant and how much his mistakes would have cost him.

I would love to see more Black writers in the fanfic space, especially within the Human!Alastor space. I would also love to see fewer readers written as blank slates. The Black experience in America and other white-dominated cultures is still not spotlighted often enough, both in present-day and historical settings.

These are stories that need to be told—perspectives that need to be explored, seen, and heard. However, they are not my stories to tell. Personally, until I am far better educated on the matter, I feel it would take away from these stories and be disrespectful to the lives of the very real people who lived them if I were to write from a perspective I cannot hope to understand.

I will continue to strive to write readers as racially neutral as often as the plot allows. However, I also ask that readers respect that, when the plot deals with racial, social, and class divides in a historical setting, if the reader is coming from a place of privilege, their skin tone is often the reason for such privilege.

Of course, I encourage readers to suspend disbelief and insert themselves into the fic regardless of their personal skin tone. I write from a historical setting, but as readers, you can imagine a set of historical laws or circumstances that allow for the same dynamics without requiring a white reader.

Can I do better? Absolutely—we all can. We’re always growing, improving, and learning. I was blessed to be raised in one of the most diverse places in the country (over 45 languages were spoken fluently at my high school). However, since leaving, I’ve struggled with the realities of having that bubble burst—not that Alaska was without racism.

I always welcome respectful discussions about the themes in MisD and all of my fics, as well as the reasons things may be portrayed the way they are. I prefer to write dark content, and with that comes the opportunity to educate and shine a light on topics many people avoid discussing. I simply ask for respect in return for the respect I give.

Much love, Kit

#misd asks #MisD lore #Human Alastor fanfic #human!alastor x you #human alastor x you #human!alastor x reader #human!alastor #alastor #alastor x reader #alastor x reader smut #alastor x you

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vero1shere · 1 day ago

Text

caught in your gravity

pairing: dean winchester x fem!reader

word count: 961

summary: you’ve been getting harassed at work for the past few months. that is until a handsome stranger arrives one night and defends you.

warnings: very cliche-y bartender stuff, harassment, derogatory language (slut, bitch), alcohol abuse, mild violence

a/n: so i’m back??? ik i haven’t written anything in a long time but umm here i am!!!

masterlist. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁inbox

A frustrated sigh escaped your lips as you wiped down the counter for the fourth time that night, scrubbing at a stubborn stain while silently cursing your job for the thousandth time. The endless mess, the sticky floors, and the clinging stench of stale alcohol on your clothes were bad enough. But the worst part? The relentless parade of truck-stop regulars: sloppy drunks who flirted too aggressively and looked at you as though you were just another item on the menu.

You tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, trying to brush away something that had dried on the counter, when the bell rang on the other side of the bar. You looked up to see a rather attractive guy approaching the bar. It was almost one in the morning, so the place was mostly deserted aside from a few regulars. Once he was closer to the light you changed your mind; a very attractive guy.

Throwing the dirty towel over your shoulder you took a deep breath before walking over to the handsome stranger. “What can I serve you?” You smiled, leaning on the bar. He looked down at you and you felt the air catch in your lungs. He had the most amazing green eyes. You were used to seeing new faces every day, but none like his. He smiled, seemingly checking you out as his eyes traveled through your face, answering the question.

“Just a beer, please” he replied, his voice deep and rough, like a low roll of thunder.

It wasn’t just his voice that threw you off. The way he looked at you, his gaze lingering as though he saw more than just a tired bartender, made your cheeks warm. Why was someone like him in a place like this at nearly 1 am?

“Coming right out” you responded, almost breathlessly. You were hyper-aware of his presence, the way his gaze followed you as you moved. Diverting your attention from that beautiful stranger, you served him the beer. Still smiling like an idiot. Your hands trembled slightly as you set the beer down in front of him, and when your eyes met his again, he smiled. A small, crooked smile that made your stomach flutter.

“Thanks,” he said, his voice softer this time, like he didn’t want to break the moment.

Before you could respond, a voice you knew all too well cut through the quiet.

“Hello darling,” Sighing and closing your eyes, you walked up to the drunk guy who was here seven days a week, flirting constantly with you. “What do you want, Carl?” you asked, your voice sharp.

“Wow, I don't think that's the way to talk to your best client,” he growled drunkenly. His breath reeked of bourbon, or maybe whiskey. You honestly couldn't tell, not that you cared.

“Are you going to order something else or are you finally going to get your ass out of here?” You exploded, not having the energy for this.

“I've always liked my women feisty”, he winked at you and a shiver of disgust passed through you. “What would it take for you to go out on a date with me?”

“‘M sorry, but for the thousandth time, I’m not really interested. Now please excuse me, but I need to get back to work,” walking to the idiot's left to clear another table, he grabbed your wrist. It was quite a rough grab and you knew it would leave a mark. You were whipped to face him and tried to hide the fact that you were terrified. He was drunk, strong and almost a foot taller than you.

“I don’t understand why you don’t just go out with me, I mean, you’re just a sleazy bar slut and it’s not like many other people want you” Carl growled, not looking away from your eyes. You tried to appear tough but the situation was getting scary. That’s when someone stepped in the middle of you too, breaking his hold on your wrist.

“Why don't you do us all a favor, apologise to the lady and get your ass out of here?” A deep voice said calmly. You recognized the voice, but you weren't sure who the person was until you looked over to where the green-eyed stranger was sitting. He was gone, well he wasn't gone, he was defending you.

Carl scoffed. “Yeah, like I owe any of you anything. A bitch and an idiot who’s fighting with someone on one foot-” he didn't get to finish. He was interrupted by the attractive stranger twisting the drunk’s arm, which resulted in a scream from the victim. He jerked his arm away and ran out of the bar.

You found yourself laughing after he left. After a few months, someone finally got that idiot to leave. Speaking of which, you finally got a better look at the stranger as he turned around, still quite close to you. The light nape of the neck that covers a sharp jaw, the perfect smile hidden behind full lips. Not to mention the eyes. Oh my god, those eyes made you melt.

“Are you alright?" he asked, much less intimidating. You realized he was looking at you and instinctively looked at the ground.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Thank you,” you murmured, feeling your cheeks flush. Then, he gently grabbed your wrist, which was already forming a bruise, and ran his fingers over your skin. Every second you were in contact with him, sparks broke out on your skin. You both looked at each other, staring into each other's eyes. Losing yourself in his eyes once again, you were glad he spoke.

“Dean,” he said breathlessly. “That’s my name,” he added after seeing the confusion in your eyes. “What’s yours?”

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cosmicalily · 17 hours ago

Text

10:45pm with bang chan - a @cosmicalily timestamp

author’s note: okay hello so where was mr christopher bahng when i was stressing and studying like crazy for my exams? also first channie fic (everyone claps) highkey embarassing that it took me so long apologies to my bahngers

warnings: discussions of anxiety and stress to do with university/school

“Do you want a pudding? Minho dropped them off for us.”

You didn’t reply, body sprawled across the couch. Chris shrugged, assuming you were asleep, picking the small plastic cup up and rifling around in the drawer for a spoon.

“I’m so overwhelmed,” you said suddenly, your voice cracking. He stopped in his tracks, letting the spoon and unopened pudding clatter to the counter. He approached you, gently, resting his hand on your cheek, moving his thumb to wipe under your eye when a tear spilled over.

“Come here,” he said, putting his arms around you as you crawled onto his lap, wrapping your legs tight around his waist. He rubbed circles into your lower back, letting you shove your face into the crook of his neck and dampen his sweatshirt with your tears. “I’m sorry, sweet girl. You always have too much on your mind.”

You sobbed at his kindness, holding him tighter. “It’s just all this shit with my assignments, and then work, too. I keep covering for people but when I’m the one who’s sick, nobody covers for me. And then there’s that girl who just pulls apart every fucking thing I do.”

“That friend of a friend?” Chris raised an eyebrow. “What a bitch.”

“I know, I hate her. I hope her lash tech absolutely botches her next set, eyes swollen, no space between,” you huffed, and Chris laughed.

“That’s my girl, let it out.” he smiled, giving you a kiss on the cheek. “Is there anything else you’re still stressing about?”

You sighed. “That assignment. It’s making me nervous, even though I know I can do it. I just don’t want to.”

“You’re the smartest person I know,” Chris said honestly. “I don’t think there’s anything you’ve done to your ‘worst ability’ that anyone else could do to their best. It’s not everything, baby, I promise you.”

“It’s a sixth of my outcome-”

“Out of the other five parts that you’ve already smashed out. I’m always proud of you, you know that, and it’d make me proud to see you let yourself go a little. I’m here, you know, you can always tell me this stuff. I have the space in my mind for it if it starts to overflow from yours.”

You gave Chris a kiss on his nose, then his cheek, then his lips. “Thanks, baby.”

“It’s what I’m here for.” He hoisted you up, carrying you into the kitchen and setting you down on the counter. He stood between your legs, taking time to properly wipe your tears and press gentle kisses onto your lips. Chris tore off the foil lid of his pudding and dug his spoon in, pressing the cool metal against your mouth. You opened, smiling, letting the cool custard melt onto your tongue. It was comforting, not just the food, but sharing it with him.

He slung one arm around your waist, the other holding his spoon, taking a mouthful for himself then offering one to you. It felt good to have something substantial in your stomach; whilst Chris always made sure you ate properly when studying, you never gave yourself the time to actually enjoy the food, or to have something as a treat. Your stomach would cramp after the third coffee and the second energy drink, but now, it felt calm.

“You’re too good to me,” you looked up at him, eyes shining.

“Nobody’s good enough to you, sweet girl,” Chris replied. “I wish I could stop everything and give you a moment to breathe. It’ll be over though, someday. I’ll make sure of it.”

“And we can live in a pretty house by the beach with a dog and make out all day?” you asked, giggling.

He smiled. “That’s the dream, baby.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “That’s the dream,” he repeated, pulling you in close.

taglist: @hyunjiiza @velvetmoonlght @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @btch8008s @yaniluvs @ellemir2404 @bellarellasstuff - comment, dm or send an ask to be added

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luvhotchner · 1 day ago

Text

christmas party day 1 - snowman

summary: holiday soft launch with reid!

warnings/pairings: fem!BAU!reader x spencer reid, swearing, just fluffy cuteness!!

happy holidays everyone! haven’t posted in a millennium so consider this a christmas gift!

fix under the cut!

y/n.y/l/n

♡liked by aaronhotchner05, spencerwreid, and 379 others.

y/n.y/l/n loving my life and this cute lil snowman tbh

view all comments…

aaronhotchner05 so this is why you had to leave work 30 minutes early?

↳ y/n.y/l/n shhhh merry christmas 😇😇

bbygirlgarcia awww look at that little face!!!

bbygirlgarcia but also why the fuck didn’t you invite me.

↳ itgirl_emily because she was probably with her very secret man she won’t tell us anything about 🙄

↳ y/n.y/l/n precisely 😛

chocolatethunder i’m so happy for you and your supposed new man 🙂 (dump him and be with me)

↳ itgirl_emily bruh drop it already (don’t listen to morgan, y/n, be with me)

jjiscraycray henry said he wants to make one with you and uncle spencer!!

↳ y/n.y/l/n aww! i love that little munchkin ❤️

spencerwreid

♡liked by thedavidrossi, y/n.y/l/n, and 72 others.

spencerwreid happy christmas from me and this guy!

view all comments…

thedavidrossi you left 30 minutes early too, didn’t ya?

↳ spencerwreid oops…

y/n.y/l/n bruh i told u to post next week.

↳ chocolatethunder IM SORRY WHAT.

bbygirlgarcia WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT???

bbygirlgarcia THATS THE SAME FUCKIN SNOWMAN!!!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG

itgirl_emily I FUCKING KNEW IT

itgirl_emily @jjiscraycray YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS!!!

↳ jjiscraycray god fucking dammit.

↳ spencerwreid you were betting on us???

↳ jjiscraycray yeah well don’t rub it in my face thanks.

y/n.y/l/n

♡liked by thedavidrossi, chocolatethunder, and 438 others.

y/n.y/l/n well since the cats out of the bag… 🎄

👤: spencerwreid

view all comments…

itgirl_emily this is so aesthetic wtf

bbygirlgarcia AWWWW MY LITTLE GENIUSES!!

chocolatethunder still in shock you chose this guy over me

↳ spencerwreid rude

↳ chocolatethunder i’m just playing, pretty boy you know i love you 😘

↳ y/n.y/l/n hey, he’s mine back off

thedavidrossi so happy for you two!!

spencerwreid so glad i have you ❤️

↳ y/n.y/l/n and i’m glad i can finally show you off!!!!!! MY MAN 😛😛🩷🩷🩷🩷

↳ spencerwreid you’re so weird

↳ y/n.y/l/n yeah, but you love me 😁

↳ spencerwreid yes, i do

aaronhotchner05 cute but you guys aren’t leaving work early ever again, you know that right?

↳ y/n.y/l/n shhhhh we’re in love don’t ruin it 😁😁

taglist for reid!

@guacam011y @hotchhner @thawnexwells @minnimaffin @starkid024 @abandonlilly @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @auggieblogs @alexisanxious @yaykeira @serpent-hearted @justyourusualash @lover-of-books-and-tea

dividers: @dollywons ❤️

#luvhotchner #criminal minds #criminal minds incorrect quotes #social media au #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x reader #instagram au

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k0yaz · 23 hours ago

Note

CAN I PLEASE REQUEST A MIZU X FEM READERRR

The reader gets captured by Fowler and Mizu rescues her, the reader is basically another medic, very kind and sweet, polar opposite of Mizu, but she knows Mizu is a woman and the two of them fall in love. Meanwhile when she sees the condition that the reader is in (beat up, used, etc) she literally is like for a second "lowkey I don't need his info lemme kill him." But ofc doesn't do it, comforts the reader, taking off her blue kimono and giving it to her, wrapping her in it and picking her up and carrying her out of the castle <3 while whispering words of encouragement to her. This time it's Mizu taking care of the readers wounds, and she like becomes ringos little assistant to help work on her.

If you want to have them have a pre established official relationship you can! And if it's not too much trouble, please work on this as fast as possible. Thank you so much for your time!

animosity of an onryō.

Pairings: mizu x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, wuh luh wuh, mention of injury, violence, blood, gore, tw fowler he will always be a tw in my eyes, reader got fucking crucified my gods, basically like how taigen was being tortured but worse, guys I’m still recovering from the fact that I found out people ship mizu and fowler unironically sendnhelp, mizu goes genuinely insane like she did in ep 6, mikio is mentioned I hate him more than fowler, I should’ve censored that old bitch’s name sorry guys, not proofread.

A/N: I LOVE HOW THIS TURNED OUT SO MUCH OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE IM CRAFTING A SPECIALLY MADE MEAL FOR A QUEEN IN A SHORT AMOUNT OF TIME PLACED AS A SPECIFIC TIME BASED ORDER YK also this is how well I write when I’m not rushed and don’t have school and enjoy what I’m writing I’m so glad I have the free time and motivation brain blast to write this rn anyway mizu come home the kids miss u 🕯️

Blurry figures writhed in the line of your fogged periphery, the burning ache of your wrists seared into the wooden board being accompanied by screams of pure anguish and rage in the background. You couldn’t utter a single word as you caught sight of the two people pushing against each other with a heightened murderous intent clouding the area, harboring an awful atmosphere of bloodlust in the vicinity. It wasn’t difficult to immediately identify the figure on your left as Fowler, his broad shoulders and bulky stature quickly making him recognizable.

Coughing out, you uncomfortably writhed against the board, back dragging along the splintering wood as each crimson trickle of blood dampened your clothing. The noise in your ears only vibrated in an agonizing ringing sound, reverberating through every fiber of your body, etching itself into the confines of your skull as your head began to spin from the sheer ache tightening your muscles.

“Where the fuck is she?”

You recognized that voice.

It was one which you found yourself bounding through several stages of affection with. One that you feared, yet also adored. You used every bit of strength you had to tilt your head up, focusing your bleary vision onto the leaner fighter looking up at Fowler with nothing but pure hatred. You were far away from the two, yet you could recognize those piercing blue eyes anywhere, taking note of the bloodthirsty glint that always shone in them at the mere sight or mention of her targets.

You could only watch in your crucified state as Mizu’s elbows dug into Fowler’s push back on her, teeth grinding together as she let out a breaking yell before driving her katana into his shoulder, earning a hiss of pain from his throat. You only found yourself, drowning in the infernal fury of the ongoing fight between them, masking the air with a deathly thirst that could not be quenched.

“You really..really want that damned girl back don’t you? Pitiful little lady wouldn’t even open her mouth no matter what we did, might as well cut her tongue out.” Fowler rasped out, voice morphing into a chuckle gurgling from the blood rising in his throat as he grasped his wounded shoulder. Mizu’s anger only heightened at his degrading words, each movement of her sword against his torso becoming more and more intense as her temper thinned. “Abijah Fowler. You will tell me where (Name) is before I make you regret the very moment you decided to be born.”

Suddenly, a wicked smile quickly replaced the flash of fear in his eyes as soon as it appeared, his head nodding off to the side in your direction as he seemed to raise his eyebrows toward you like some sort of signal. Mizu followed his eyes as she kept her menacing demeanor up, glancing over in the same direction he was locked on. Her eyes widened with nothing but absolute terror.

Her grasp on her sword briefly faltered, almost clattering the metal against the ground as she took in your battered form, loosely hung from the two nails confining your palms into the bloodied wood like a butchered animal. Nearly every single inch of your skin was doused in crimson, various wounds tainting each limb. Whether it was a slash from a knife or a flattened bridge of skin from a hammer, any horrific type of torture that could possibly be conjured up was present across your body.

You parted your lips weakly as you caught sight of Mizu’s racing sights fixed onto you, attempting to call out her name despite the sting that bit at the back of your mangled throat.

“Mi..zu..”

She only felt her heart sink at your brutalized stature, your life barely hanging by a thread as you were practically mauled—rendered to the point of being unable to even scream. A sudden flare of contempt erupted in Mizu’s eyes, feeling a bubbling sensation of fury finally snap within her as she saw you hanging like a ragdoll. Slowly, her head turned back to Fowler, fueled even further by the smug expression plastered across his face.

You couldn’t even register what was happening anymore past the screams, only being able to hear the sodden rips of flesh and blood alongside Mizu’s remorseless onslaught of cries, bashing Fowler in with a blinding wrath which left even her unrecognizable in your view. The well-trained and cold samurai who seemed calculated with every move she performed, no matter how brutal, was now tearing at a man with no coherent thoughts present in her mind—only hate.

The rancorous barrage unfolding before your eyes nearly made your chest ache. Sure, despite your sweet nature completely opposing Mizu’s unfeeling one, you had always acknowledged the importance of her revenge. You knew that she had to kill the remaining three men who had potentially soiled her very existence by bringing a monster into this world, and you were supportive of it.

But this? This wasn’t what she was aiming for. This was just her lusting for blood, seeking to make them suffer more than her own satisfaction required. And it made your pulsing veins nearly run cold and stop.

“Aha. You need me to get to the other two..you can’t get to them without-“

“I don’t care.” She snapped, tightening her hand around the tsuka of her blade to dig through the first layer of his forearm and saw at the bone; earning a scream from Fowler which seemed as if it was elicited from genuine terror and pain this time. You finally hunched your shoulders back to use every drop of energy you had left coursing through you, yelling out for her to stop.

“It’s no..t worth it..stop it, please..”

Your choked out noise almost instantly made the scorching fire within her subside down to a tiny flickering flame, her blade embedded in Fowler’s side pausing at its cut midway. Looking down, it had finally seemed that she had come to her senses, breathing ragged and shallow as she yanked out her katana with a grunt as Fowler toppled to his knees.

Using his immobile state as an opening, she quickly rushed toward you, hands swiftly twisting at the nails hammered into your palms as you whined out hoarsely in pain. Her heart only clenched at your strangled noises, taking your holed hand in hers tenderly as the nails cluttered onto the floor. Mizu wanted to circle her arms around you tightly, squeeze your body against hers and dig her face into the crook of your neck while whispering sweet promises to never let you go again. Yet there was no time to act on what she wanted now. All that mattered was getting you out of that god awful castle where you had been abused past a breaking point.

Your head spun as you focused on Mizu’s face splattered with blood, her worried expression contrasting the violence that she had put on display not too long ago. “It’ll be okay, (Name). Hang on.”

Shrugging off the dark blue kimono fastened by her obi, she scooped your limp body up in the fabric, allowing you to bask in the warmth of her tattered clothing as she held you to her chest.

“I’m sorry.”

She paused, muttering against you once more.

“I should’ve never left you like this. Thank you for being there for me.”

Her uncharacteristically soft whisper brushed over your cheek, hand ghosting the blood seeping through the blue fabric shrouding your wounds, yet she couldn’t care any less about how messy her clothes got. As long as she could get you back.

…

“Now let me be there for you too.”

In one swift motion, Mizu clamped her teeth around the blade of her katana while you were swayed up in her grasp, using her own body to ram into the window and shatter it as the two of you descended down from the ninth level down into the freezing waters below.

Shards of glass flipped through the air, spinning as they scattered in all directions and occasionally grazed your already broken skin. You felt yourself swallowing your own breath in the icy pits of water engulfing both you and Mizu, her arms fastened around you like a lifeline as she held you close. She wouldn’t get caught up in her revenge to let someone precious die. Not this time. Perhaps she had changed from who she once was, transitioning from a cold blooded killer who clear out anything blocking her path, into someone who poured her heart out for a woman who was her polar opposite.

You couldn’t stay awake much longer, the border between life and death currently wavering in and out of sight and disappearing into an uncertain gamble between the two. Eyes shutting as the numbness spread to every inch of your body, you laid back, allowing yourself to be submerged in the blue embrace you had tainted a sickening red.

—

“Is she alive?”

“Master, be patient..she has a pulse but I don’t know if she’s even conscious right now.”

“How can I be? She practically got ripped open by Fowler! Even then these wounds look far too gone to even come close to healing..”

“They’ll heal, trust me.”

Muffled voices exchanged between two people echoed in your ears, a sharp sting interrupting any train of thought you had going on as you became well aware of your consciousness. A sore ache throbbed across every inch of your muscles, contracting tightly as you could quite literally feel the slits ingrained into your body. From what it felt like, they seemed to be stitched up, with a damp cloth pressed against the formerly open wounds.

You slowly blinked open your eyes being met with the dim light of a candle bouncing off the wooden floor. Your back was pressed against a tatami mat as you lay still like a corpse, the biting throb still twitching across your taut muscles. In an instant, you caught the sight of Ringo’s face hovered above yours, his eyes looking off in the distance as his blunt hands were situated on his lap. He was humming to himself while staring elsewhere, possibly waiting for you to wake up.

As soon as he looked back down at you, his expression contorted into one of surprise, delight following up almost instantly. “Master! She’s awake!”

You heard a rush of footsteps thudding across the floorboards, before the silhouette of a lithe woman’s shadow loomed over you, hands planted by her sides. Her slender fingers traced over your battered knuckles, thumb brushing along the torn off ridges of skin still healing before breathing out a long awaited sigh of relief.

“Mizu..?”

She nodded, squeezing your hand a bit and urging you to not strain your voice too much. Her downturned expression harbored a light of vulnerability striking off her cerulean eyes, as if she was mortified at the possibility that she would never see you open your eyes again. Ringo nodded in her direction with a smile, standing up and heading out the front door into the front of the unfamiliar cabin-like structure you were enclosed in.

Wasting no time, Mizu bit at the thread in her hands, pinching the needle between two fingers in the other. “Hold still.” Snaking her hand below your sagged arm, she lifted up with ease, pushing the needle and thread in tandem as you sucked in a breath to endure the searing push of the needle through your skin each time. She carefully stitched up the exposed wound, looking up at your face twisted in pain with her own expression of pity.

Your breathing came out in shallow gasps for air, the wounds still having a profound impact on your body as it was quite difficult to move your limbs without it feeling like being torn apart, much less retain your ability to walk around normally. You found that you were still curled up in her kimono, serving as a sort of padding against your back, layered atop the tatami mat. Honestly, it was a great substitute considering there wasn’t a futon anywhere in sight around here.

Ringo came back in, holding a bowl between his stubby hands as he carefully set it down beside your head to cool, harshly blowing at the steam wafting from the bowl. Once he deemed it was cool enough, he signaled Mizu to lift your head up—to which she did, as he held the bowl carefully, making sure it didn’t slip from his grasp. You swallowed each pour of the soup-like meal down your throat, being able to drink a bit easier after each swig.

—

Ah. What you would do to go back to those times.

You had always trailed behind Mizu with a smile, never leaving her side no matter how many times she had grumbled out for you to leave. Every moment spent with the stoic samurai had held nothing short of your heart racing beside her, as if you were in a realm of bliss no matter how harsh she was with you at times. No matter how many gruesome battles you found yourself walking into at her side, no matter how many times you stood at the brink of death and nearly toppled off the edge, you didn’t regret even an ounce of what you experienced.

For some odd reason, you found yourself captivated by Mizu, drawn in by the cold blue eyed samurai. At times, you even suspected that there was more beneath that ‘unbreakable’ exterior than she was letting on. The two of you had found yourselves closer than you could ever imagine, heart to heart with every wretched and dark secret burrowed in the crevices of your souls, yet still choosing to adore even the most monstrous sides of one another.

Even when you found out that it was a woman who lingered beneath the facade of a man, your view of her didn’t change at all. In fact, your trust only grew, knowing full well you saw a vulnerable side of her that very few had experienced.

You had taken the parts of her she deemed as impure, the parts she kept hidden from others along with the raw hatred engraved into her very existence, and huddled it into the warmth of your affection. Allowing the supposed animosity of an onryō to be hemmed between your arms as you poured our every drop of love you fostered within you to the demon.

You recalled a bunraku puppet show you had once seen, depicting the vexations of a woman who had fallen to once again arise as an onryō. Yet it was clear, that the tempestuous being had only risen from anguish. From the fact that it had been betrayed once, torn apart and trust crumbled right before its very eyes.

Perhaps that’s what you saw in Mizu. A broken woman who seeks nothing but satisfaction, completely shooting down the prospect of happiness at all. Despite how truly shattered she was from the inside, you didn’t mind it at all. You wanted to pick up each shard yourself, piece it back together slowly & carefully. Even if it slit your palms and stained them red.

The supposedly hardened walls she had gradually came down around you, her vulnerability shining through her guarded front. You were right. She had been betrayed by everyone she knew to ever exist, one of them being her late husband.

Mikio. You never knew him, yet his name alone left a bitter taste in your mouth. You promised—no, swore on your own life that you would never betray her in the way that man did. She was your top priority, the only one in this world you would ever feel so strongly towards. So strongly to the point where your bones lit up with a roaring flame of passionate adoration whenever you were in her arms. Mizu was everything to you, and you would rather die than let that change.

Till death do us part was a silly phrase, as you knew that you would grasp onto her, even after your pulse ran cold.

—

“Are you feeling any better?” Mizu inquired, her hand still supporting the back of your head. You mustered up the strength to nod briefly, returning her a smile which made her chest flutter just from the sight. Leaning into her chest, you breathed out a huff of air, clearing up your chest as you were slowly recovering and regaining the ability to breathe. Finally, you were able to speak up, albeit in a strained and raspy voice.

“You know..I never thought that the one whose injuries I always treat ended up treating mine.”

“I suppose that’s life’s cruel way of throwing irony in our face.”

Mizu’s face beholded a somber expression, one that made you tilt your head in confusion as you opened your mouth to ask.

“Hey-“

“I put you in danger. And even then, you endured all that just to stay alive.” She cut you off as if she predicted that you were about to ask her what was wrong, her voice seemingly held up as if it was threatening to break any moment. “I shouldn’t have. I thought that was the last time I could ever tell you that I love you.”

Your still discolored hand reached up to brush against her cheek, to which she was met with a look of surprise.

“(Name)-“

“You know that I would rather die than ever stop loving you.”

Mizu only hummed in response, carefully taking your recovering frame into her arms as she pressed a chaste kiss to your temple. To which you held back onto her with shaky hands, fingers weakly digging into her back.

“Thank you. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for my ember.”

A/N: I am deep fried rn this took so long but I love how it turned out I was far too passionate in writing this I’m screaming yippee

I listens to every bes ost while writing this (and ended up crying at some of them) forgive me but this deadass took like a whole ass 5 hours to write but tbf I did take like a 30-40 minute break at some point sooo

Anyway I love this request so much thank you for making a special request too cause that just fuels me to write good ily

#mizu x y/n #mizu x you #mizu bes #blue eye samurai mizu #blue eyes samurai #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eyed samurai #blue eye samurai #bes #bes x you #bes x reader #bes mizu #mizu #mizu brainrot #mizu x reader #mizu come home the kids miss u #wlw

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tater-tot-jr · 1 day ago

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Why I fucking love Project: Eden’s Garden chapter 1

(Spoilers below… duh)

I think I should start this by explaining exactly why I love Project: Eden’s Garden, but I’ll make it brief. I find every character interesting, even characters I’m less interested in like Jett or Mark still have a level of depth that makes me want to pick at them. I’ll highlight standout characters later, but I’ll be upfront that I don’t think P:EG contains a character that’s less than a 6 out of 10. They’re all at least slightly above average (compared to their competition).

I also like the theming. The religious imagery leaves a lot to pick at and the animal motifs are a classic way to convey information. The game has very strong ideas and aesthetic and that makes it’s more… metaphorical moments easy to follow even for an average player. Like me personally I’m a dumbass but I can usually tell what they’re doing, so that’s a big plus.

And on a more pragmatic side, the production is incredible. This makes a seamless experience to both watch and play. A lot of Fangans are hindered by low production value, as is the nature of these things. I don’t need everything I love to look spotless, but the pure amount of talent and work used on P:EG makes it standout. Also it makes it a rather safe thing to get invested in. Like it or not 95% of fangans fizzle out quickly after they begin. Again, it’s just the nature of these things. This seems like something that is poised to continue long term, but maybe I’ll end up eating my words. Who knows?

Anyway, that’s out of the way.

General thoughts

I’m going to separate my thoughts into sections. Starting with my general opinions on the chapter specifically.

One of my biggest worries going into this chapter is that Damon’s blowout at the end of the prologue would be used as a motivation for other characters to hate him for longer than necessary. We as an audience know he’s right. He was, for however much of a dick he was being, almost entirely correct. I was afraid people would keep bitching at him about it after he was proven soundly correct. Luckily this did not happen, and I was pleasantly surprised by how they handled it. Most characters did not like him at the start, they thought he was an asshat causing trouble (and to be fair he kinda was) but they didn’t want to lock him in a shed about it. It was actually mostly a mellow feeling of dislike and frustration that permeates peoples opinions of him. Obviously some people more than others. I like this because it sidesteps the three chapters of petty bullshit I was afraid would happen. Most people’s concerns about him were logical and reasonable. The cast even made an effort to include him and things and didn’t leave him out to dry. He still has a bad reputation, but the rest of the cast keeping a level head about it was fun. Some fangans have protagonists who are untrusting, rude, ect and they typically miss a lot of bonding time with the cast because of it. The decisions made in reaction to Damon’s words at the end of the prologue both set Damon on a clear arc without hindering our ability to bond with characters, and strengthen our perception of the remaining cast as people who aren’t needlessly petty and selfish.

Side note, one of the things I noticed quickly was that at the beginning of the chapter Damon wouldn’t refer to people by their names in his inner monologue. “Streamer girl” “influencer guy” ect ect. This slowly changing as people talk to him more was a subtly but impactful way to see him slowly becoming a tad bit more thoughtful.

Each character got at least some spotlight. Some more than others but everyone got a chance to do something special. There’s a reason to like every character beyond their general vibes, which is something even the og Danganronpa games struggled with. Every character has a moment in this chapter where they got to be memorable. I appreciate that. Some games have obvious filler characters, and while this game is no exception, they at least give their filler some substance. Everyone has a presence we can appreciate before it’s gone.

I liked how many free time events we got. That’s generous. Some games are too stingy on free time imo. I want to learn about these people. Let me learn about their life, let me learn what gifts that like. Games trying to freak you out and remind you how little time you have by being cheap with free time is annoying. And it has the opposite effect that is desired. Let me care about your characters damnit.

The events we got, all the pharmacy searching, the laundry, sharing a room with Kai, ect. These were all fun. None of them felt boring or stale or anything. There’s not a grander point to be made with this. I just had fun. That’s the number one priority imo.

The comedy hit surprisingly hard. Everyone had a moment to be funny. It didn’t get cringe (in my opinion) it just stayed humorous. I’m glad the game didn’t take an 100% serious tone and gave us a few moments to breathe and laugh.

The trial

I enjoyed this trial. From a storytelling standpoint it was easy to follow and the mystery was complex without ever being too hard to understand. The minigames had a reasonably difficultly to them. I had to pause and think a few times but I never had to resort to trying totally random bullshit. Maybe I made a few guesses, but I never started trying every combination to find the answer. They presented a very complex mystery in a very digestible way.

However, I do have a brief complaint. It’s not a massive issue, but it gave me pause. The whole “we were all playing games it couldn’t have been us rock” solid alibi turning into “it has to have been one of us” was not well disguised. It’s very classic danganronpa. So much that after the blackout my first thought was “okay, which one of you did it”. A few hours into the trial when we got everything about the notes luring people to places at specific times, and I remembered Eva picked the time for the game tournament I pretty quickly zero’d in on her. I very quickly became “I know it’s you. It’s definitely you. I don’t know how to prove it.” Which was fun, i guess. It’s an intro chapter so it’s not big issue, but I hope going forward they don’t make it quite so easy to pinpoint a culprit before the murder is even solved.

This opinion might be my most controversial, but I like the killer and victim choices. I’ve heard a lot of people claim they jumped the shark. They killed the two big characters too early. There’s so much wasted potential, it makes them sick. All that. I disagree. Kinda. Let’s start with the easy one. Eva served her purpose. She was a good character. Lying about being the ultimate liar? Based. But her reveal happened, and honestly I’m shocked they could prolong it for as long as they did. She was not making it past chapter one with that under wraps. Turns out she didn’t make it past chapter one at all, but the point remains. We learn her deal, and the game pushes you to spend free time on her, so we learn a good chunk of her past. I don’t think she would’ve served as much besides an interesting assistant if she was kept alive. We don’t need a Kyoko, Damon is competent enough on his own. The game made her close to us, and took her away when she ran out of anything besides being liked. It’s a good emotional moment. We liked her, and then she betrayed us. Betrayed us in many ways. My favorite moment in the trial was her snitching on us about the motives. I like it when killers don’t go gracefully, I like it when they have impact like that. And that execution, that’s gonna stick with me. I heard people say it was underwhelming, I disagree. As someone who loves all things angst, whump, and gore the sheer desperation makes to hard to watch. Reaching up for the hand when she was so close, she could’ve just kept crawling, and for the hand to be a trap is wonderfully poetic. You know she was falling down thinking that she could’ve just kept going.

As for the victim. Wolfgang was a character I found interesting, so I was sad to see him go. I won’t even lie, it’s thrown the game on its head. We all made the assumption this game would be a power struggle between ugly truths and pleasant lies. We got the rug pulled out from under us. Wolfgang also had a brutal death. Electrocution isn’t fun, and his final moments were surrounded by what was probably terrifying hallucinations. It’s just fucking awful. Seeing him lose his composure before death hurt like that, and I assume he’ll have some impact with the whole parents situation. He was supposed to be a stable force and we’re all reeling because he got taken away by our other stable force.

I’d also like to mention Diana, as she was closely involved. Watching someone die like that is traumatic, being locked in the room with their corpse during a blackout is even more so. Everything involving her is the reason I don’t feel much sympathy for Eva, only pity. It was a totally ruthless and cruel act for Eva to set her up like that, and it wasn’t necessary. She wanted someone easy to frame, Diana didn’t actually need to be there for the plan to work. And if Diana wasn’t there it would’ve been less complicated for her as well. It’s a bloodthirsty. I pity Eva because I can see why she came to the conclusions she did and felt the way she did, but her actions were horrible. Point blank. Cruel and awful. She wasn’t forced to take Tozu’s deal, I admit Tozu certainly both made it with her in mind and approached her at her lowest point, but it was still her choice. She’s accountable for her actions and I really don’t feel much sympathy. Also, Eva being tempted by Tozu’s deal. Eve being tempted by Satan’s forbidden fruit. Haha. Neat.

My favorite characters

Damon - I have something I must confess. I’m a bit of a debate bro. I know, I know, shame on me. I just really like to fight on the internet, okay? I’m pretty sure Damon was designed in a lab to appeal to me specifically. He’s a master debater, he’s a little fruity, he hates all yall. He’s just like me fr. I think he’s a good protagonist, he’s got an interesting complex about feeling better than everyone and then immediately getting that stomped on, he’s so certain he’s correct that he has trouble making himself sound super likable. Even when he’s right. As he’s chilled out he’s gotten better at this, and frankly I’m excited to see where his arc goes. A protagonist like him is always fun, he’s easy to anger sometimes, prone to disregarding the feelings of others, and quite pessimistic. He’s very proactive, testing the rules and talking to Tozu really made me appreciate how much he actually tries to do. It seems so obvious that Tozu would love to yap about his motive, I can’t believe i never even considered the possibility of someone just asking him. His internal monologue is pure comedy. Him falling asleep thinking about that “stupid lawyer” made me put down the game to laugh. And he really stepped up in the trial. He’s my son, he’s neat. Him clearly loving his mom and dad is also a nice humanizing touch.

Wenona - …I have another confession to make. I’m weak for a woman who’s only morally bankrupt. She didn’t have very many crazy standout moments, but every time she said anything you know I was cheering. Favorite character, hope she doesn’t die soon. Everyone wigging out over the student profiles while she’s just like reading them in the corner was so damn funny. Girl, do you have no chill?

Tozu - I love Tozu, I think he’s an excellent mastermind. He went to college for a villainy major and took a minor in theatre while he was there. Bro is the spectacle. He is the moment. He’s serving cunt whenever he’s on screen. I also like that he’s clearly a person, mentally as well as physically. He plays favorites, he’s sadistic, he’s methodical, he’s terrifying. He’s having the best time, and it’s a welcome change of pace. I was getting a little sick of robot mastermind. Yes yes sue me, but it’s fun to have a mastermind not running on ai and actually interacts with the cast in a human way.

And that’s kinda all I have (for now) knowing me I’ll probably be back.

#project: eden’s garden #p:eg #p:eg spoilers #p:eg chapter 1

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starkeymuse · 2 days ago

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decode | rafe cameron | part two

summary: grace knew the outer banks were full of dangerous currents, but she never expected rafe cameron to be one of them.

warnings: mentions of violence.

this is a long one but i wanted to work on expanding my plot and the relationships more. enjoy!

✧ listen to: midnight love by girl in red ✧

grace's pov

the sunlight filtered through the trees around john b’s house, soft and golden, making everything feel deceptively peaceful. we were gathered on the porch, sprawled across mismatched chairs and cushions, the smell of sea salt and faintly burnt toast lingering in the air. i was seated cross-legged on the couch, a crinkled letter from denmark tanny balanced on my lap. my fingers absently traced over the faded ink, the curls of the handwriting worn smooth from age.

john b paced in front of us, his usual air of determination bubbling beneath his casual demeanor. kiara, sitting on the edge of a chair, looked like she might burst any second. i could almost hear the words she was holding back, the frustration radiating from her in waves. the sound of jj laughing at something pope had said in the background only partially registered as my mind wandered to the conversation from the night before with rafe.

"so, we know where the gold is,” john b said, his voice cutting through the chatter. “it’s not at the bottom of the ocean. it’s been hidden on tannyhill plantation all this time."

"no way,” i breathed, my pulse quickening. the idea of the gold being so close, right under our noses, was a lot to swallow.

“okay, but how are we supposed to get to it?” pope asked, leaning back and crossing his arms.

"we’re going to need sarah’s help with this. the original maps are in her house somewhere." john b. said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

i glanced over at sarah, sitting quietly across from me. i didn’t know what to make of her, not after everything kie has said about her. she was a kook, but something about her made me hesitate to lump her in with the rest of them.

kiara was the first to speak up, "wait a second. are you seriously suggesting we let her in on this?"

“yeah, i am,” john b said, meeting kiara’s glare head-on.

“you know,” kiara began, standing up so abruptly that her chair scraped against the floor, “i don’t remember taking a vote. this is our thing, a pogue thing. and now you’re just letting her in?”

john b sighed, running a hand through his hair. “kie, this isn’t just about being a pogue. it’s about finding the gold. sarah can help us."

“we were all fine until you brought her here!” kiara's voice grew louder, her anger boiling over. she took a step closer to him, eyes flashing.

my eyes flicked to sarah. she didn’t flinch, though her fingers tightened around the edge of her seat. the words were harsh, sure, but they weren’t entirely wrong. even if I didn’t agree with kiara’s anger, i was still trying to understand it.

"can you not talk about me like i’m not here?” sarah said, a tinge of annoyance creeping into her tone.

kiara’s lips pressed into a tight line, her eyes narrowing. “then leave,” she snapped, and i could see the walls going up again, just like that. the hurt was clear on kiara’s face, and i knew this wasn’t just about sarah. it was about feeling betrayed by john b, too.

john b stepped in, trying to de-escalate. “sarah’s my girlfriend now, okay? so maybe get used to it.”

"so, what? that makes it all okay?" kiara’s eyes practically shot fire as she turned on him. "did you know your brother, topper , and kelce jumped pope?" kiara shot at sarah, her voice loud and seething with anger. "those are your people, sarah. so don’t sit here and act like we’re all supposed to pretend you’re just one of us.."

sarah looked at john b, her eyes softening for a moment before she responded, “i told you."

kiara’s lips curled into a sneer. “told him what? that you’re a liar?”

sarah’s eyes flickered with annoyance. “no,” she shot back, her tone suddenly biting, “that you’re a shit talking bitch.”

jj and pope gasp and start pulling money out of their pockets as kiara and sarah continued their back-and-forth, the two lounged side by side on the couch, their eyes flicking between the two girls with a mix of amusement and curiosity. they leaned in closer, speaking in hushed tones as they exchanged sly grins.

jj nudged pope’s shoulder with his elbow, his voice barely above a whisper. "who you got? kie or sarah?"

pope smirked, leaning back slightly. "kiara’s got the aggresion right now, but sarah’s got that whole ‘rich girl calm’ thing going on. bet kiara’s the one who throws the first punch."

jj glanced over at grace, raising an eyebrow as he nudged her with his elbow. "come on, grace, bet with us. five bucks kie breaks something."

i rolled my eyes but couldn’t suppress a small grin. "you guys are ridiculous."

pope gave her a playful wink. "10 bucks kie punches her first."

i smirked, my arms crossed over my chest as i shook her head. "i’m not betting on this."

but then, i caught a glimpse of john b’s face, and everything else faded away for a moment. his expression was a mix of panic and helplessness, like he didn’t know how to fix this, like he was already bracing himself for it to all fall apart. his eyes flickered between kiara and sarah. he didn’t know what to do. he needed help. i could’ve stayed quiet, and let them hash it out themselves, but something about the way john b looked at me made me realize i couldn’t just sit here and watch it explode.

“alright, enough,” i said, cutting through the bickering with a sharpness i didn’t even know i had. i wasn’t yelling, but there was enough authority in my voice to stop both girls in their tracks.

“look, i get it. you guys don’t like each other. but this isn’t going to solve anything,” i said, trying to keep my voice even. “fighting about this isn’t going to get us closer to the gold.”

i took a deep breath and stepped a little closer to kiara, my voice softening. “i get why you’re mad. but this isn’t the time for this. we’re supposed to be a team. we can’t let this mess things up.”

for a moment, kiara looked like she was about to snap back, but then she sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “fine. whatever.”

without another word, she stormed off, the screen door slamming behind her with a force that rattled the whole porch.

jj let out a low whistle. “there she goes."

i didn’t know if i should go after her or let her cool down. but i wasn’t the one who was mad at sarah. i just couldn’t help but feel bad for kiara, watching her walk off in frustration like that, feeling not heard and betrayed.

“look, i had no idea pope was jumped,” sarah said, her words coming out slower, like she was thinking carefully about each one. “i’m really sorry.”

sarah’s apology hung in the air for a moment before pope spoke up, his voice softer than usual. “it’s okay, sarah. it’s not your fault.”

i couldn’t help but feel a little relieved at his words. it was a step toward peace, even if it was a small one. maybe things didn’t have to be as tense as they seemed.

but then, as if to shake off the last remnants of that uneasy feeling, i shifted uncomfortably in my seat, my thoughts drifting to last night. my encounter with topper and rafe. i hadn’t wanted to bring it up, but now it felt like it was sitting there, waiting to be acknowledged.

i let out a small sigh, meeting sarah's eyes briefly before speaking. i ran into topper and rafe last night," i muttered. 'topper grabbed me, but... rafe actually stepped in and stopped him."

sarah gave a small, tight-lipped smile, almost like she wanted to say something but held herself back. instead, she just nodded, and the group seemed to collectively exhale, ready to move on.

"well,” john b began, clearing his throat, “back to business. we need to get those maps."

marcy’s was a fixture on the island. named after paul’s late wife, it had been around for decades, a favorite for locals who wanted fresh seafood and tourists hoping to stumble upon a hidden gem. paul had poured everything he had into keeping it alive after marcy passed, and i’d been lucky enough to work there since i was barely fourteen.

paul had a way of handing out life advice when you least expected it. “grace,” he’d say, his voice gruff but kind, “sometimes you’ve got to let things simmer. rushing ruins the flavor.” he’d usually be talking about a chowder or sauce, but i’d long since learned he meant more than just food.

tonight, though, paul was gone, having handed me the keys hours earlier with his usual, “don’t forget to lock up, kid. and take home some damn leftovers.” before disappearing into the night. the restaurant felt different when it was empty, quieter, but not silent. it was like the walls still held onto the day’s laughter and chatter, leaving behind a hum of energy even after everyone was gone.

i was finishing up the last of my closing tasks, wiping down the counter, when the bell above the door chimed. my stomach flipped at the sound, i wasn’t expecting anyone this late.

“we’re closed,” i called out, setting the rag down and turning to the door. he looked out of place against the worn booths and framed photos of sunsets, his clean-cut appearance contrasting with the casual charm of marcy’s.

"i know," rafe replied.

he stood with his hands in his pockets, the faint light catching on the edges of his sharp jawline. his t-shirt clung just right against his frame. his jeans were perfectly worn, and for a brief, traitorous second, i thought he looked unfairly good.

i stared at him, heart pounding in a mix of surprise and irritation. “what are you doing here, rafe?”

he hesitated, like he wasn’t even sure himself. “you work here?”

i raised an eyebrow, the sarcasm slipping out before i could stop it. “no, i just wear the apron for kicks.”

“yeah, obviously i work here,” i added, shaking my head in disbelief.

he rolled his eyes at my response, but a smirk was tugging at the corner of his lips.

"we're closed. take the hint." i said, gesturing to the empty restaurant.

"grace, wait-“ he said, moving further into the room.

“no, seriously.” i dropped the rag on the counter, irritation flooding through me. “you think you can just show up here after midsummers and—what? make small talk? you’re unbelievable.”

i noticed for the first time how much the weight of his usual arrogance had disappeared. it wasn’t a look i was used to seeing on him. silence stretched between us, only the low hum of the restaurant lights breaking the stillness. he took a small step closer, but i didn’t back away. he could’ve walked out right then and left me alone, but he didn’t. instead, his eyes met mine and held them, looking like he was searching for something, anything that would make me understand.

“i wanted to apologize,” he said finally, the words hanging heavy in the air.

i blinked, caught off guard by the bluntness of it. “what?”

he let out a short breath, like he was bracing himself. “i’m serious,” he said, his voice lower now. “about pope. About what i did or didn’t do. i… i should’ve stopped it.”

my chest tightened, and for a second, i felt like i couldn’t breathe. part of me wanted to laugh, to brush it off like I always did, but there was something in his face that made it hard to ignore. i felt guilty for noticing it, for even listening to him right now. as if by giving in, even a little, i was betraying my best friends.

"you can’t undo what happened, rafe,” I said, my voice tight.

“I know,” he muttered, looking away like my words had physically hit him. "you think i don't know that? i've been trying to pretend like it’s nothing, but…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "i hate myself for it."

i swallowed hard, the weight of his confession sitting in my chest. hearing him say it didn’t fix anything. but something in me shifted—cracked, maybe. i wasn’t used to seeing rafe like this—unguarded, honest. my gut twisted, caught between the anger i wanted to hold onto and something i still couldn’t name.

"why are you telling me this?" i asked, softer now, the words slipping out before i could stop them.

he looked back at me, his blue eyes searching mine, like he was hoping i could see past the mess of him. "because i think you're the only person who might actually believe me."

i didn’t know how to respond to that. rafe had always been this untouchable figure in my life, reckless, entitled, the kind of guy you hated without thinking twice. but right then, in the dim light of the empty restaurant, he seemed… different. i felt something stir in me that i didn’t want to acknowledge. it made my chest tighten.

i took a deep breath, trying to push that feeling down. "you can’t expect me to just forgive you," i said, the words more cold than i wanted them to be. i didn’t want to be nice. i didn’t want to let him in, even just for a moment. not when everything in me screamed that it would be a betrayal to my friends, to pope, especially.

“i don’t,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “i don’t expect anything, grace. i just… i needed you to know I’m sorry.”

i watched him for a long moment, the weight of his words pressing down on me. i sighed, brushing a hand through my hair. i didn’t know what to do with the part of me that wanted to believe him.

"go home, rafe," i said finally, my voice soft, but still firm. my hands trembled slightly as i crossed my arms again, the walls coming back up, again.

he looked at me for a beat longer, like he was hoping for something, anything from me. but when i didn’t say anything else, he nodded.

“goodnight, grace,” he murmured.

i didn’t respond. i just watched him turn, heading back toward the door, his footsteps echoing in the empty restaurant.

but then, before he fully stepped out, he paused. something shifted in his posture as he turned back toward me, eyes locking with mine again. there was an unreadable expression on his face, like he hadn’t quite said everything he needed to.

"oh, and topper’s a fucking idiot. everything he said? it's not true." he hesitated for a moment, then glanced back at me, his expression softening. "far from it."

with that, he turned, the door swinging shut behind him, his footsteps fading into the night.

i shook my head, muttering to myself, trying to push the thoughts away. "this is ridiculous," i whispered. but deep down, i knew it wasn’t just going to go away. not yet, at least.

turning back to the counter, i grabbed the rag i’d left behind and started wiping it down absently. the quiet of the night pressed in on me, but all i could hear now was the soft echo of his voice: "far from it."

denial is a river in egypt @ grace ;)

i hope you enjoyed this part! i enjoyed writing it. i love awkward rafe

please like and comment if u want, no pressure. <3333 mwah. stay tuned for part 3 soon.

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morgana-larkin · 2 days ago

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Alrighty, I finally finished it as I kept getting distracted when writing it due to the holidays. But here it is, Worth It chapter 14. Not edited in the slightest and I hope you like it!

On another note: I’ll be writing Chessy ones next as I finished the Donna ones. If you don’t read Chessy then Happy Holidays and Happy New Year! ❄️🥳🥳🥳

Worth It - Part 14

Warnings: Smut, swearing in English and Italian

Words: 11.3k

You awake to the smell of breakfast being cooked downstairs and you put your robe and slippers on before going downstairs. You open the kitchen door and the sight before you makes you smile. There’s Melissa, happily making food while humming the song that’s playing from her phone. She’s in her robe and her hair is in a messy bun and she looks so happy right now.

“Good morning!” She says when she sees you.

“Morning.” You say and she goes up to hug and kiss you. “Why are you so chipper this morning? You remind me of Janine.” You tell her and she scoffs at you before going back to the food.

“I’m just happy this morning. I got 2 weeks off of work and can spend time with my girl without interruptions or responsibilities.” She tells you and you smile.

“No interruptions besides the Christmas party that’s today and the new year eve party that’s on Friday.”

“Well that’s beside the point.” She says and you smile at her. “You should eat up, we got a meal to make and things to put in the car before going to Marie’s place.” She tells you as she hands you a plate of food.

“A frittata with pieces of ham and peppers in it?” You ask her and she nods. “What are we tasked with bringing today again?

“Pasta alla Norma, it’s a Sicilian pasta with eggplant.” She tells you.

“That’s like 5 Italian dishes that I know of that use eggplant.” You say and she looks at you with a smile.

“Because it adds the right flavour.” She says to you and strokes your cheek. “Remember what I told you about today?” She asks you and you nod.

“Stick by the people that I know, don’t get angry if they insult you or the pasta, and watch out for Marie as she’s a total nightmare on Christmas.” You tell her. “I still have questions about those.”

“What questions?”

“I don’t get why they would insult you. Even though you guys are Italian, it still doesn’t sound right. Also Marie was so sweet and quiet last time I met her.”

“And your parents are from Vermont, they’re practically Canadian but your mom is a complete bitch.” She tells you.

“Not every Canadian is nice. I’ve met a lot of Canadians since we’re so close to the border, some of them are real assholes.” You tell her and then finish up your breakfast.

“Marie is always like this on Christmas, she’s the sweetest Schemmenti but on Christmas she’s the worst.” Melissa tells you. “Been that way since we were kids and we don’t know why.” She tells you.

4 hours later and the pasta is made and the both of you head to the bathroom to start getting ready. You both hop in the shower and start washing when you feel hands wrap around your waist.

“What are you doing Melissa?” You ask with a smile as you lean into her touch.

“What if I want my taste of you before we go to the party?” She asks as she starts kissing your neck.

“Why do you always want sex right before your family’s parties?”

“Because I like claiming you as mine.” She says before spinning you around, pinning you to the shower wall and kissing you with force. You begin moaning into the kiss when she starts playing with your nipples. She goes to her knees and immediately wraps her mouth around your clit and sucks hard.

“Do you not want me to last long?” You manage to get out between moans. Melissa gets back up to be face to face with you and brings her hand to your clit.

“Consider we have to leave in an hour and a half, probably best if it’s quick.” She tells you and plays with your clit the way she knows drives you crazy.

“Melissa.” You gasp out as you’re close and she kisses you. You gasp into the kiss as you come and she pulls back with a smirk. “You’re evil.” You tell her with a smile and she giggles.

“Come on, we have to finish the shower and then get ready.” She says and you grab her hips with both your hands. “Woah!” She says as you pull her to you.

“You haven’t come yet.” You tell her and she smiles before she brings your leg out a bit and places herself on your leg.

“Then hold this leg still.” She says before she starts grinding on it. You tense up your leg muscles and she moans out as she keeps grinding. “Do you feel how wet I am, baby?” She asks and you nod. She keeps grinding on your leg until she comes with a gasp and rests her forehead against yours as she calms down. “I want to wash your hair.” She says and you tilt your head after she pulls back. “Can I wash your hair?” She asks and you nod before she pulls you under the water.

You pull your leather jacket on over your red dress and look in the mirror. You check your makeup again to make sure there’s no mistakes and then you put both of Melissa’s gifts in the bag, one for secret Santa and the other one because you wanted too. You get out of your room and then go downstairs to where Melissa is putting the food in a bag.

“I see we both went with leather and red.” You say as you see her outfit and she turns around to see you and her jaw drops. “What do you think?” You ask her as you do a little pose and she has to swallow all the extra saliva in her mouth due to her drooling over you.

“You look beautiful.” She says when she finds her voice.

“So do you.” You say. Melissa went with leather pants, a red top and a little pin on the right side of her shirt.

“I can’t wait until we get home and I can ravish you.” She says with her seductive voice and you shiver a bit at her words.

“That depends on how much you drink tonight.” You tell her and then walk past her to put your coat on. “Last time you couldn’t stop flirting and tease me.” You tell her. “Well until I brought you into Janine’s bathroom, did a quickie and then threw freezing cold water at your face.” You say and her mouth drops as you bend down to slip on your heeled boots.

“You threw water at me?” She says and you nod proudly as you see her shocked face. “Well that’s rude.”

“It was a fair punishment for trying to have sex with me in front of our coworkers for 4 hours.” You tell her and she pouts. “If that happens again but with your family then I might see how far you’ll go, especially with your siblings there who will tease you about it after.” You add on and then walk outside.

“And you say I’m evil.” Melissa says while she follows after you and then locks the door. “Stellina.” She says while she’s driving the both of you to her sister's house.

“Ya?” You ask and turn your head to look at her.

“There’s something that I haven’t told you and it might show today as I usually get a lot of Christmas cards from my family.” She starts and you tilt your head. “I’m dyslexic.” She says and you smile.

“Melissa, I already know.” You tell her and she furrows her eyebrows.

“How?”

“I’ve seen you grade tests and papers many times, I’ve seen you read over the same sentence twice many times.” You explain. “I don’t care if that’s what you’re worried about. And I never brought it up cause I figured you’d tell me when you’re ready.”

“It seems like you were made for me.” She says and you smile.

“Maybe I was, I am 20 years younger so maybe I was born to love you.” You say and she giggles.

“You’re cute.” She says.

Melissa knocks on the door and her brother Tony opens the door.

“Hey sis and Eva!” He says and hugs you both. “Thank god you’re here. Marie has gone crazy as usual and she ain’t listening to any of us.” He explains as you both walk in and hear shouting in Italian from the kitchen.

“Well what makes you think she’ll listen to me?” Melissa says.

“You’re the eldest sibling, you basically have Ma’s power until she gets here.” He says and you take Melissa’s bags of presents.

“Why don’t you go and try to calm your sister down and I'll put these under the tree.” You tell her and she nods before she heads to the kitchen. You head towards the tree and Tony follows you.

“So is Carl coming?” He asks and you look at him before rolling your eyes.

“Yes he is. Is your boyfriend here?” You counter.

“He is.” Tony answers. “But like I said before, open relationship, just last week we both went to the bar and made out with other people.” He tells you.

“How do you not get jealous by that?” You ask him.

“Well it’s sometimes the point, the other gets jealous and it makes the sex hotter.” He tells you and you grimace.

“Ok TMI.” You tell him. “You think it’s safe to go into the kitchen. There’s not as much shouting.” You say and then Maria Christina runs out.

“I was banned from the kitchen.” She says as she walks over to you both.

“Definitely not safe.” Tony tells you. Then the doorbell rings and Maria Christina goes and answers it.

“Merry Christmas Ma!” She says and you see Teresa there and she hugs her daughter.

“Are all my Bambini here?” She asks her daughter.

“Yep, most in the kitchen. The two out here are the ones who got banned.” She says and Teresa smiles.

“Merry Christmas Tony and to you as well Eva. I’m guessing Melissa is in the kitchen?” She asks you and you nod.

“I believe she’s trying to keep the peace until you get here.” You explain and she laughs.

“Sounds like an Italian Christmas.” She tells you before heading into the kitchen. You hear all the shouting stop at once and then you hear Teresa shout out some orders.

“Why are only the siblings here?” You ask Tony.

“Most people don’t get here until 4 or 5.” He tells you. “We just get here early to help out.”

“Melissa warned me that this family is the worst on Christmas. But I’m confused, I just saw you all on Thanksgiving and you were alright.”

“Schemmenti’s and extended family get feisty on Christmas.” He says.

“But why?”

“Christmas has never been the same since Nonna died, now Christmas has to be perfect.” He explains to you.

You then see Melissa, John Anthony and Marie Camille come out and they’re all carrying dishes. They go and put them on the giant dining table and then Melissa walks over to you.

“Keeping all my siblings in line is tiring.” She says. “I already want to drink.” She adds on and you giggle.

“Well I’m driving home so drink all you want.” You say and she wraps her arm around your shoulders.

“Thanks for the reminder.” She tells you and then places a kiss on your cheek and then goes back into the kitchen.

An hour later all the food is out and people have been arriving non stop. Kids have been running past you and immediately head for the basement before you’re not going to see them again for the evening. You go and take a seat on a couch and just sit there with a glass of juice in your hand, watching everyone catch up with other people.

“Melissa, go keep your girl company.” Melissa hears Seamus say.

“Why? Is she ok?” Melissa asks.

“She’s sitting on the couch alone. I mean I could just tell the rest of our siblings and I’m sure they’ll run over to her.” He tells her.

Melissa scoffs before she picks up her wine glass and leaves the room to the living room. “No need to tell them.” Melissa tells her brother.

“Hey Stellina, what are you doing all alone?” She tells you and sits beside you.

“I don’t know a lot of your family and there’s a lot of people here. So I just decided to sit here.” You tell her and lean into her. She puts an arm around you and kisses the side of your head.

“You could have come to find me. Seamus told me that you were all alone here.” She tells you.

“Well I’m ok, I was alone but I was watching everyone converse with each other.” You tell her. “How many glasses of wine have you had?”

“Lost count after 2.” She tells you and takes a sip. She then turns her head to face you and you give her a kiss. She grabs your chin and keeps you into the kiss until you hear someone call your name.

“Hey Eva.” You turn and see Carl there followed by John, George and Anna.

“Auntie Eva!” Anna says excitedly and then runs to hug you.

“Hi Anna, and Merry Christmas!” You tell her and then she goes and hugs Melissa.

“Hi Melissa!” She says.

“Hello Anna.” She says and returns the hug.

“Anna, if you want you can go and join all the kids in the basement.” You tell her and she smiles before she runs down and joins the other kids.

“You know now I know what it’s like when you walk in on me and George kissing.” John tells you and you stand up to hug him.

“Ya, but it’s worth it to see you happy.” You tell him. “Merry Christmas.” You add on.

An hour later and you and Melissa return to the couch with plates full of food.

“So anything interesting happen since thanksgiving?” Toni asks everyone.

“Well Eva got jealous of a parent flirting with me.” Melissa says and everyone looks at her.

“Well Ms. Obvious here didn’t even know the parent was flirting with her all week.” You add on.

“So how are you two together if you don’t notice someone flirting with you for a week?” Marie Camille asks Melissa.

“Well I noticed Eva was flirting with me. But because I love Eva, I didn’t notice the parent’s advances.” Melissa defends herself with.

“So what did you do then Eva?” Maria Christina asks like it’s interesting gossip.

“Mostly ignored and got mad at Melissa.” You say and Melissa rolls her eyes.

“Ya, wasn’t fun being ignored all week.” She says.

“I was going to go shout at the parent but Barb stopped me and instead I went up to Melissa and kissed her in front of the parent.” You tell them and smirked at Melissa.

“And then on Monday she saw the hickeys you left on my neck from Friday and left me alone after that.” Melissa adds on.

“But she leaves you alone, that’s the important part.” You say and Melissa wraps an arm around you.

“Yep, you made sure she got the message.” Melissa tells you with a smile. “So anything interesting with any of youse?” Melissa asks all her siblings and yours.

After everyone eats then dessert is put out and everyone gets up to get more food.

“Please eat as much as you want.” Marie yells at everyone. “I do not want to be stuck with a bunch of food again.” She complains after sitting down with her siblings.

“Aw, don’t complain sis, it’s Christmas, lighten up.” Seamus tells her.

“Tell me to lighten up one more time Seamus and I’ll punch you in the face.” She tells him.

Melissa puts her head on your shoulder as well as a hand on your thigh.

“Alcohol starting to take effect?” You ask her.

“Nope.” She says with a smile and then runs a finger up and down your thigh.

“I think it is.” You say and grab her hand that was on your thigh and she lifts her head up and faces you.

“I’m not drunk, I just really love you.” She says and gets really close to your face.

“Well I really love you too.” You tell her and give her a kiss.

“Sis, do you ever think you might want to date a man again?” Kristen Marie asks Melissa.

“Why would I do that when I have her?” Melissa asks and points at you.

“I meant if it doesn’t work out.” Kristen Marie says and you give her a confused look.

“Why wouldn’t it work out? Are you wanting to break up with me?” She asks you and you shake your head.

“Of course not.” You tell her. “Kristen Marie what the hell are you trying to get at?” You ask her sternly.

“I’m just curious.” She says and puts her hands up in defence. Melissa then wraps her arms around your waist and you wrap an arm around her.

“Don’t leave me.” She mumbles out and you stroke her head.

“I don’t plan on it.” You tell her.

“Get yourself together Melissa.” Teresa says and you look at her mom. “If you’re too clingy then she’ll leave you.” Her mom adds and you glare at her mom.

“Glares don’t work with this family Eva.” She says to you and then walks away.

As if sensing the tension that happened, Marie suddenly yells out “PRESENT TIME!” She says and gets up to go to the Christmas tree that’s full of cards and presents. “Ok we’ll do secret Santa first. Eva, can you come help me? I know you’re not drunk.” She asks you and you peel Melissa off of you and walk over to the tree. “Ok you find presents for secret Santa and then hand them to me so I can give it to the person.” She says and you nod and then search through the gifts.

After everyone got a gift then they all proceed to open their gifts while you sit down with yours. You open yours and see it’s a vibrator and you quirk an eyebrow and see Maria Christina smirking at you.

“For when Melissa isn’t in the mood and you are.” She tells you and you look at Melissa who has no idea what’s going on as she’s opening her gift that you got her.

“Oh my god! A pink leather jacket! That’s so amazing!” She yells out and she looks around at everyone’s face to see who it might be. She looks and sees you holding your phone and telling her to try it on. “Wait a minute, this is our wrapping paper. You’re my secret Santa?” She asks you and you nod.

“Now get up and put it on so I can take a picture of you in it.” You tell her and she does as you say.

“You’re so obedient outside of the bedroom.” Toni tells her and Melissa flips her off and then puts the jacket on.

“Does it fit?” You ask her and she moves her arms around before nodding.

“It’s perfect!” She says with a huge smile and you take a picture while she poses. She then gives you a big hug as she sits back down beside you.

“Ok Eva, I need your help again. Get your ass over here.” Marie says and you get up and walk over to the tree. “Ok I need you to help me hand out the gifts.” She tells you.

“But I don’t know who everyone is.” You tell her. “Just your siblings, my siblings and your mom.” You tell her.

“I know, which is why if it’s someone you don’t know then hand it to me.” She tells you and you nod.

10 minutes later and all the presents are handed out to everyone. You go and sit back down and see 4 presents, and 8 cards there for you. You go and read who they’re all from. You see the presents are from Melissa, Kristen Marie, John and Carl. You open all the cards first and see all 7 of Melissa’s siblings gave you one as well as Teresa. You then go and open the gifts. You open Carl and John’s gifts first before you open Kristen Marie’s gift.

“Do I even want to know what you got me?” You ask her and she shrugs. You open it up and see she got you a shirt that says ‘I’m with stupid’ and coincidentally it’s pointed right at Melissa. You actually laugh at that and it gets Melissa’s attention and she looks at it and then glares at her sister.

“Rude.” She says before she goes back to opening cards.

You then open Melissa’s gift and see she gave you a framed photo of the 2 of you and you see there’s a little note attached to it and you take it and open it up. ‘For you to put on your desk in the library for everyone to know you’re mine.’ It says and you look at her and smile. “You’re sweet.” You tell her and she looks at you and smiles back at you. “You have no idea why I’m calling you sweet do you?” You ask her and she shakes her head. “You’re so drunk, my love.” You tell her and she goes back to opening Christmas gifts. She opens your gift and sees you got her a photo album and she opens it to see there’s already pictures of the two of you in it. “I hope to fill it with you.” You tell her and a tear runs down her face and she hugs you.

“Thank you, Mia Stellina.” She says to you and you smile.

“Merry Christmas Melissa.” You say to her when you pull back from the hug.

“Merry Christmas Evalina.” She says back to you and gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Ouch a pity cheek kiss.” You hear next to you and turn to John Anthony there.

“Shut up, it’s not pity.” You tell him and he shrugs.

“It looked like it.” He says and you glare and then remember that glares do nothing to Schemmenti’s.

“Maybe you should shut the fuck up.” You tell him and Melissa looks at you as well as all the other siblings.

“Ooohhh, Eva is getting feisty.” Maria Christina says and you roll your eyes.

Half an hour later and all the siblings are visibly drunk and what Melissa said is true, they’re kinda assholes on Christmas and they’re getting on your last nerves as they’re picking on you and Melissa.

“Oh my god, Melissa, are you a homosexual?” You hear and you all look up to see Uncle Archie there and you notice the placement of Melissa’s hands, one is wrapped around your waist and the other is on your thigh.

“I’m bisexual.” Melissa tells him and gives you another cheek kiss. Uncle Archie then looks at you.

“Melissa wasn’t a homosexual before, did you convert her?” He accuses you and you get up and walk away to the bathroom. You ignore all the calls of your name from Melissa and her siblings, as well as your siblings.

You get to a free bathroom and you lock yourself in it and take a deep breath at the sink. You try to get control of your breathing and then you hear a knock on the door.

“Eva, you in there?” You hear John say and you unlock the door and let him in. “Hey, are you alright? You looked upset back there.” He asks you as he closes the door and locks it.

“No, I'm not ok. Melissa warned me that there’s always insults thrown to everyone especially on Christmas and then her uncle Archie was the last straw.” You tell him. “It reminds me of mom.” You tell him. “Except all in one night. I came to Philly to get away from the criticism and I’m in a relationship with someone who’s family does it on Christmas every year.” You add on and he hugs you.

“I know it’s not easy.” He starts with. “If it makes you feel better, when I left, her brothers were holding Melissa back from strangling their uncle. And I believe she was cursing, it was hard to tell as it was slurred and in Italian.” He adds and you snort.

“Sounds like her.” You say.

“Why don’t you talk to Melissa about this tomorrow? Obviously not tonight as she’s super drunk. But tomorrow tell her how you feel and she’ll definitely think of something to help make you feel better.” He tells you and you nod.

“Do you ever miss it? Home.” You ask him and he thinks about it.

“Rarely but there has been moments in the past 8 years. Why? Do you miss it?” He asks.

“A little. I miss the home we grew up in, the friends we made, the life we were trying to build and then realised we had to leave our mom.” You tell him and you let out a dry laugh. “But I would miss Philly more if I ever moved.” You say to him.

“Why would you ever leave Philly? Melissa is here and I don’t see her moving out of Philly as her whole life is here.” He asks.

“I know, but if it didn’t work out with her then I would move.” You say.

“Just ignore all the stuff that her family has been saying. I don’t see this relationship with her failing, this is the first mature relationship you’ve been in.” He tells you. “Even to that girl who proposed to you 5 years ago, she wasn’t mature enough for you.” He adds and you nod.

“Is the reason you came instead of Melissa is because she’s threatening murder?” You ask with a smile and he laughs.

“Pretty much.” He says and then you both hear a knock at the door.

“Eva? You in there?” You hear Melissa say, the words slurred. John looks at you and then you wipe at the tears that formed before nodding to him. He unlocks the door and opens it to reveal Melissa.

“Oh thank god I found you. Are you ok?” She says as she runs to you and gives you a hug.

“Ya, I’m ok. Just needed a break.” You tell her as she pulls back.

“We can leave if you want.” She tells you and you shake your head.

“I actually want some more dessert.” You tell her and she smiles while you both head to the dessert table.

“Eva, you missed Melissa threatening to strangle Uncle Archie.” Toni says. “Seamus and John Anthony had to hold her back cause she was actually going to.” She adds on and then laughs.

“Could you imagine if she killed him?” Kristen Marie says. “Would have made the party better.” She adds on and everyone agrees and then laughs.

Everyone stays for another hour and then people start to head out. You see Melissa start to get sleepy and then decide it’s time to head out as well.

“Melissa and I are gonna go before she falls asleep on me. I cannot carry her inside the house.” You say and you pull Melissa up from the couch. You both say goodbye to everyone before you get the containers back from Marie and then get ready before leaving to Melissa’s car.

Once you get home you grab all the gifts and containers and Melissa unlocks the door and you both go inside. You both go get ready, with you helping Melissa get dressed, and then you fall asleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

You wake up to Melissa scrambling out of bed and running to the bathroom and you check the time, 7:47am. Melissa comes out a few minutes later and doesn’t look good.

“You look like hell.” You tell her and she groans.

“Why didn’t you stop me from drinking so much?” She asks and you shrug.

“I honestly didn’t see you half the time.” You tell her. “You were either helping out, chatting to family members, or I was helping hand out all the gifts.” You say to her and she falls on the bed and snuggles into you.

“Do you mind warming up the leftovers from yesterday?” She asks you and you nod.

“Sure, I’ll be right back.” You tell her and slip out of the bed, put your robe on and go downstairs. You come back to Melissa fast asleep and you go to wake her up gently. She blinks her eyes open and then looks confused before seeing you with food in your hands. She gets up and eagerly accepts one of the plates from you.

A couple hours later you’re scrolling on your phone with Melissa snuggling into you. You then think about what John told you yesterday and you look at Melissa.

“Hey Melissa, are you feeling up for a conversation?” You ask her and she looks up at you.

“Is everything alright?” She asks when she sees your face.

“What do you remember from last night?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Not much, I remember gifts, I’m definitely going to wear that pink leather jacket to school.” She tells you and you nod with a smile. “I remember little bits of conversations and threatening to strangle Uncle Archie for some reason, although knowing him he probably deserved it.” She says with a small laugh and then looks at you. “Did he say something to you?” She says and gets up slowly to not give herself motion sickness.

“He did, he told me I converted you to being a homosexual.” You tell her and you see a fire start in her eyes. “It’s fine, you already defended me by threatening him and you were held back by your brothers or else you would have strangled him, and you were cursing at him in Italian.” You tell her. “The truth is your entire family got on my nerves.” You tell her and she looks at you confused. “The way they were picking on both of us reminded me of my mom.” You explain to her and she gives you a sympathetic look. “I don’t know if I can be with someone who’s family is like the exact same person I moved away from to escape her.” You add on and she looks at you with a worried look as she sits up more and grabs your hand.

“I don’t want to lose you Eva. I can talk to my family and tell them to cool it or we won't go to family get togethers.” She suggests.

“I couldn’t keep you from your family, your family is everything to you, I know that.” You tell her.

“It seems as if you’re making me choose between you and my family.” She says softly. “And I can’t choose.” She says and you grab her other hand.

“I’m not asking you to do that. I’m saying that I can’t be around your family. So whenever there’s a family get together then I won’t be going to it.” You tell her and a tear slides down her cheek. “I’m still trying to heal from my past and my mom. And being around people that are like her isn’t helping. Maybe after time then I can be around them, but right now, I can’t.” You add and she sniffles.

“I don’t want to go if you’re not there.” She says.

“I don’t want to keep you from them and give them a reason to hate me.” You tell her.

“You’re not keeping me from them, I’m choosing to stay with my girlfriend.” She tells you. “Will you at least come to the New Year’s Eve party at my mom’s?” She asks you and you think about it before nodding your head.

“Ok, one more party.” You tell her and she smiles at you.

The two of you spend the day in bed as Melissa was trying to get over a hangover and you just happily read the new book to her that she got from one of her siblings.

During the day, when you went to the bathroom, Melissa sent a threatening message to her siblings group chat.

Melissa: Hey you stronzos listen up, you’ll have to cool it with your insults and picking on us or I will kill you. Got it?

Kristen Marie: where is this coming from?

Toni: I don’t think that’s possible in this family

Maria Christina: I don’t even remember last night

Seamus: Does this have something to do with Eva?

Tony: I also don’t remember last night

Marie Camille: We need more context Melissa

Marie: Were we too much for Eva last night?

John Anthony: I barely remember anything at all, the only thing I remember is Melissa threatening to strangle uncle Archie and telling him to go to hell in Italian

Melissa: The details don’t matter, just cool it or I will make do on my threat

Kristen Marie: I’m texting Eva

Melissa then goes to text Kristen Marie so she won’t text you but then sees you coming out of the bathroom with a confused expression.

“Why is Kristen Marie asking if I’m ok? Oh my god are you threatening your siblings?” You ask her as you get another text.

“Yes I am, I’m telling them to cool it or I’m gonna kill them.” She tells you plainly.

“You don’t have to commit murder for me.” You tell her.

“Family you kill for, even if you have to kill blood relatives.” She tells you. “Outside of my blood relatives, you and Barb are my family.” She tells you and rejoin her in the bed.

“That’s so sweet, no one has offered to kill for me.” You tell her and she wraps her arms around you while you place your head on her chest.

“If you’re not already feeling better from yesterday then my boobs should do the trick.” She jokes and you giggle.

“They are really comfortable and squishy.” You say and squeeze one of them. “Two giant pillows for me to lay on. And other times two nipples to suck on to help turn you on. Or even times they’re two big stress balls.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Glad they’re multi-functional for you. They’ve mostly been a pain for my back and just a pervert magnet at bars.” She tells you and you lift up her shirt and put your hand on one of her boobs. “What are you doing?” She asks.

“Playing.” You tell her and then you do a little kitten lick to the nipple. You feel her hips move slightly and you smile. “What did you say yesterday before the party? Wasn’t it that you want to ravish me when we get back?” You ask her.

“I did say that.” She tells you calmly but you can tell by her dark eyes that she’s turned on.

“Aren’t you going to do what you said or are you gonna be a liar?” You challenge her and she smirks.

“Maybe you should give me a reason why I should pin you to this bed and make you cum until you beg me to stop.” She says and your jaw drops and your brain stops working. “Did I make you speechless, my little sugar plum?” She says.

“Sugar plum?” You ask her and tilt your head.

“It’s the holiday season, seems appropriate.” She says and then you lean to her and kiss her. You pull back after a few seconds and you see her eyes are darker.

“You know I could always just take out that new vibrator your sister gave me last night if you’re not in the mood.” You say and you go to get out of bed but she grabs you and pins you to the bed.

“Which sister?” She asks you and you smile.

“Maria Christina.”

“Of course she did.” Melissa says with an eye roll and then she kisses you. She pulls back and then she takes her shirt off of you, one of her longer shirts that you love to wear to bed. “No matter how many times I see this body, I still love undressing you.” She tells you and you smile. She gets on top of you and then bends down to kiss your neck. She starts sucking and you start moaning and try to buck your hips but she’s on top of you. “Already turned on? I barely touched you.” She teases and you whimper. “Relax little Stellina.” She says near your ear and then she trails her mouth down to your nipples and takes one in her mouth. She brings her hand down over your centre and runs her fingers through your folds. “You’re so wet.” She says before easily sliding a finger in you.

You moan as you feel her finger inside of you, hitting all of the spots that make you feel good. “Melissa.” You moan out and she smiles around your nipple. You feel your orgasm building and you start squeezing around her finger and then she pulls out. You snap your head up at her and she smirks before she gets off of you and reaches for the nightstand. “What the hell? I was getting close.” You tell her and then she pulls the strap out and you blush.

“I know you were close but I need you needy and wet.” She says as she takes her shorts off and slips the strap on. She makes sure the dildo is placed at her clit before she gets in between your legs. “Now, I know you’re wet, but I don’t know how needy you really are. I don’t know if you really want this.” She says to you and you gulp. She then places her hands beside you and makes sure the dildo is near your entrance and leans down so she’s close to your ear. “How needy are you?” She whispers in your ear and then pulls back to look at you. You let out a whimper and she smirks at your reaction. “That’s not an answer, baby.” She says as she strokes your cheek.

“Please, Melissa.” You beg.

“It doesn’t seem like you really want it.” She teases and you grab her shirt and pull her towards you. “Woah!”

“Please mommy, I need to feel you inside of me.” You beg again and she smiles widely before she grabs the dildo and then slowly slides in you.

“You’re so needy for mommy.” She says before she’s all the way inside of you. “I know this would be much better if this was a real cock.” She says before she starts moving inside of you. “Where I can feel you all hot around me, squeezing me to make sure I stay inside of you, squeezing me dry to make sure I finish inside of you.” She says and you wrap your legs around her to pull her closer. “If I were to finish inside of you, then I would really claim you.” She tells you and then begins rubbing your clit. You start breathing hard as you feel your orgasm starting to build. You’re aware that hers is building as well, as her movements aren’t as steady, her breathing is heavy as well.

Your foreheads connect as you both get close and you have your mouth open as you're right at the edge and then she notices you’re squeezing the dildo as it got a little harder to push inside of you. You then gasp as you come out and then Melissa comes right after you. She pulls out of you and then goes and rubs your clit and you gasp.

“I told you, make you come until you beg me to stop.” She tells you and you put your hands in her hair and you grab a handful and squeeze as you’re already so close to your second orgasm. She kisses you and your arch your back slightly as you reach your second orgasm with a moan. She doesn’t stop as she immediately inserts a finger in your entrance while still rubbing your clit and you cry out.

“Melissa, Melissa please, it’s too much.” You tell her.

“I think I can get one more out of you.” She says as she rubs your clit faster and you unwrap your legs from around her and place your feet on the bed. You start bucking your hips as the sensation is overwhelming and she pins you to the bed and kisses you to help. “Take your time baby, don’t force it.” She says and you relax as much as possible as you feel your orgasm building quickly. You then squeeze her finger as your whole body tenses and then you come with a gasp. She pulls out of you and immediately lays beside you and cuddles you to help your body calm down. She feels your body shaking slightly and she kisses your cheek and brings you closer to her.

“You do what you say you will.” You pant out and she smiles as she rubs your arm. “Also, do you have a breeding kink?” You ask her after a second and she looks at you confused.

“What’s a breeding kink?” She asks and you have to think how to word it.

“It’s that you love the thought of breeding me but without me getting pregnant.” You explain to her and she hums.

“I guess I do.” She says. “It’s more the thought of you being mine though.” She adds on and you get more comfortable on her. “How about I run us a nice hot bath?” She suggests after a few seconds and you nod your head.

“Ok.” You say, a bit tired.

“Did those 3 orgasms wear you out?” She asks you, amused. You nod again and she giggles. She gets up and runs a hot bath and she gets you to follow her so you don’t fall asleep on the bed. She gets in the bath first and then you get in after her and lay on her chest. She places her chin on the top of your head and wraps her arms around you. After a minute she notices your breathing evens out and she lets you sleep for a few minutes before waking you up.

The next day she surprises you by teaching you how to waltz around the living room after moving the dining table into the kitchen.

“When did you learn how to waltz?” You ask her as you see she’s really good.

“Ma put me in dance classes when I was 7 after I asked.” She tells you. “As the golden child, I got my wish.” She says and you chuckle.

“I thought you only did enough to stay in her top five?” You question and she laughs.

“I did, but at this point there was only 4 of us. Marie Camille was just born when I went to dance classes.” She explains.

“What was your childhood like? I mean you have 8 younger siblings and you’re Italian. Must have been difficult.” You say and she thinks about it.

“It was more annoying having 8 siblings then it was having Nonna make sure I know how to cook properly.” She tells you. “It was difficult having to help raise my siblings, as I’m sure you know.” She says and you nod. “But it was also the 70’s and 80’s.”

“What’s the age differences?” You ask her and thinks about it.

“Let’s see. Well as you know, I’m 50.” She starts out and you nod. “Kristen Marie is 2 years younger than me so she’s 48, Marie is 2 years younger than Kristen Marie so she’s 46.” She continues and thinks about her other siblings. “Marie Camille is 3 years younger than Marie so she’s 43, John Anthony is 2 years younger than her so he’s 41. Maria Christina was born just 11 months after him so she’s 40. The terrible twins were born 2 years later so they’re 38. Pa died shortly after the twins were born and then Ma got married about 4 years later and then had Seamus who’s 6 years younger than the twins, so he’s 32. Seamus was born when I was turning 18.” She finishes explaining and you nod.

“Must have been a packed house.” You tell her and she giggles.

“Loud is the right word.” She says and then spins you around then continues to teach you to waltz.

“Would you want that many kids?” You ask her and she immediately shakes her head.

“I only want 1 or 2.” She says and you smile.

“I want that as well.” You tell her and she kisses you. “Have you ever thought of any names?” You ask her and she nods.

“I thought of the name Liliana for a girl and Luca for a boy. Liliana in a way came from the name Lily so it’s like the Italian version. I have thought of non Italian names but I don’t like them as much.” She tells you and you smile.

“I’ve seen Italian names and I like them too.” You tell her and she smiles.

“And which ones have you thought of?” She asks.

“I like a few E names for girls.” You start and she nods. “I like Emilia, Eleanora and Eliana.” You tell her.

“And the fascination with E names has nothing to do with your name beginning with an E?” She asks you and you giggle.

“I guess it kinda seems like that but there’s no relation.” You tell her and she spins you around. “I also like the names Veronica, Vanessa, Sophia and Diana.” You tell her and she hums.

“You have quite a list for girl names, what about boy names? Have you thought of those at all?” She asks and you nod.

“I liked the names Enrico, Pietro and Romeo. Romeo just because it reminds me of Romeo and Juliet.” You tell her and she rolls her eyes.

“No Romeo.” She immediately says.

“What?”

“Ma said that she was told there was a kid in Sicily named Romeo and he was made fun of in school because of Romeo and Juliet. And I don’t doubt the same thing would happen here, I mean I’m with second graders all day, someone named Romeo would more than likely get made fun of.” She explains and you pout. “Besides want to name a kid because of a story about star crossed lovers who both commit suicide?” She adds on and you think about it.

“I like Romeo and Juliet. The idea of a forbidden love and then two people who are willing to do anything to be together.” You tell her. “Wait, is Juliet Italian?” You ask her.

“No, it’s Latin.” She says and you pout. “Oh, stop pouting.” She says with a smile.

“But Romeo and Juliet takes place in Italy and Juliet is not an Italian name?” You question.

“I’m not the right person to ask that question to.” She says with a quirked eyebrow. “The right person would be Shakespeare.” She says.

“Well if I ever get the chance to meet him then I’ll definitely ask him.” You say and she shakes her head. She then spins you so that your back is to her front and has her arm wrapped around you while your hands are still entwined. “Is this part of the waltz?” You ask her and she hums.

“No, more of the Rumba but I just want to feel you close to me.” She tells you.

“Exactly how many styles of dancing do you know?” You ask her and she thinks about it.

“Well I know the Waltz, Rumba, Salsa, Samba, Tango, Quickstep and a small amount of the Foxtrot.” She says and you smile.

“Will you teach me all of those?” You ask her and she nods with a smile.

“I could teach you the Rumba next, the dance of love.” She says and you lean your head back and she kisses your forehead.

“I’d like that, we already got the love part done.” She says and she hums. “I know a bit of burlesque dancing.” You say suddenly and she spins you around so you’re face to face.

“Is that why you’re so good at giving lap dances?” She asks and you nod.

“So what are we doing for the rest of the week and are we bringing anything to the party on Friday?” You ask her.

“I thought we could bring cacio e Pepe.” She tells you and you smile.

“The first meal you ever taught me.” You say and she nods.

“It’s what helped bring us closer, I thought we could bring it to the end of the year party.” She says.

“You know some teachers think you’re not romantic and soft, and by some I mean all, but you are romantic and soft.” You tell her and she groans.

“Don’t go telling them that, I got a reputation and it keeps annoying ones away from me.” She says and you smirk.

“What would you do if I go around revealing your soft side?” You challenge her and she quirks an eyebrow at you.

“If you did then I would have to punish you.” She says and starts walking forward and you’re forced to walk back. “I would have to punish you by edging you until you apologise.” She adds and you gasp as your back hits the wall and Melissa traps you. She pins your hands above you while she kisses you with force and places her leg between yours. You start grinding on her leg as you got turned on by her kisses. She presses her body right up against yours and you moan as you feel her boobs squished up against you. You get close to an orgasm and then she pulls back and then walks away. “That’s what would happen if you told.” She says as she walks to the couch. You gasp out in disbelief and then walk towards her.

“That was cruel.” You pout and she laughs. “I mean I haven’t told anyone.” You say and then you pounce on her and you both fall onto the couch. You’re straddling her lap and then you kiss her with the same force she was kissing you just moments ago. You then grind on her thigh until you come.

The week goes by quickly as you both relax and have sex for the entire week. It’s Friday at noon and you’re both making the dish to bring to the New Year’s party.

“I think you’ll find my family is tamer today. They’re only the worst at Christmas.” She says as you’re helping her with the dish.

“I already told you that I’ll see that for myself tonight. If it’s true then I’ll go to the Easter party and whatever other holiday you celebrate with your family.” You tell her and she smiles.

“That’s all I ask.” She says and then gives you a kiss before you both continue the dish.

You slip on a purple dress and then you walk outside and see Melissa in a sparkly gold shirt, leather pants and she’s slipping on the pink leather jacket you gave her.

“Nice outfit, that jacket really brings it together.” You tell her and she laughs.

“I hope you don’t get cold, you didn’t even put tights on.” She tells you and you shrug.

“If I get cold then I’ll just cuddle with you and steal your warmth.” You and hug her.

“So you’re gonna be a little Koala?” She says as she picks up her purse and the bag with the food.

“No, I’m gonna be your little Koala.” You say and she giggles.

“Well then my little Koala, how about we go to the party or I might want to just stay here and fuck you until next year.” She says and you shiver.

“Well I won’t say no to that.” You tell her and she snorts before walking to the door.

“Finally you guys made it.” Teresa says as you both walk into the house.

“Hello to you too Ma.” Melissa says and then she hugs her mom. “I made some Cacio e Pepe for today.” Melissa says and then hands her mom the container.

“Oh how nice, haven’t had that dish in a little bit.”

“It was the first dish I taught Eva how to make.” Melissa tells her.

“Count yourself lucky Eva, Melissa doesn’t reveal the family secrets of our cooking to just anyone.” Teresa tells you.

“Oh I already know how lucky I am.” You say and then kiss Melissa’s cheek.

“Eva, do you mind if I take Melissa for a second?” She asks you and you look at Melissa who nods.

“I’ll go talk with your siblings, I see them over there.” You tell her and she gives you a kiss before you walk over to her siblings.

“What is it Ma?” Melissa asks.

“How long have you two been together?”

“3 months, why?”

“The chemistry you both share reminds me of the chemistry between me and your Pa. Don’t let this one get away.” Teresa says and then walks away.

“What did your mom want?” You ask her once she joins you and her siblings.

“Nothing much, just said she approves of our relationship.” She tells you.

“I think that was clear as she keeps inviting me to family events.” You tell her and she smiles.

“So what are you and my troublemaking siblings talking about?” She asks.

“Troublemakers? Us?” Toni says in fake shock.

“Well we are.” Maria Christina says. “Except for the older boring ones.” She adds and giggles with the twins.

“Oh Eva, your brothers are already here but they got swept away by family members.” John Anthony tells you.

“Oh thank you, I’m sure they’ll circle back to here at some point.” You say and then you turn to Melissa.

“So who’s the designated drinker tonight?” You ask her.

“I still remember my major hangover from Sunday so you go right ahead.” Melissa tells you and you nod then go grab a drink.

You get swept away by Vinny and Annette after grabbing a drink and you stay and talk with them for a few minutes.

“So I heard there was some trouble at Christmas.” Annette says to you.

“At Christmas her siblings and mom act like my mom and I’m trying to heal from the trauma my mom caused me.” You tell her honestly and she nods.

“I get it, Italian families can be tough to adjust to.” She says. “A lot easier if you’re born into them so then you desensitize.” She adds on and you nod. Just then Uncle Archie joins and you glare at him.

“You’re that queer that turned Melissa into a homosexual.” He tells you and Vinny holds him back while Annette puts an arm in front of you.

“She was born like that.” You tell him and he scoffs.

“She married a nice man and now she’s dating a little girl.” He says and before you can think about it, you throw your drink at him and everyone turns to look at the scene. Melissa walks up to you, sees what happened and pulls you away.

“Just walk away.” She tells you. “What are all youse looking at like this doesn’t happen all the time?” She asks everyone and then they all go back to their conversations. “Are you ok?” She asks you and you nod.

“I just don’t like him.” You tell her and she smiles.

“No one really does. He’s too set in his ways.” She tells you and then takes your cup. “Looks like you can use a refill. Come on.” She says and then goes with you to get you another drink. “Here, this is a stronger drink.” She says and hands it to you. You chug it down and she laughs at you before handing you another one. “Better be slower with this one unless you want a major hangover.” She says and you nod before taking a couple sips. “A few cousins want to talk to you to get to know you.” She says and then brings you over to some people.

You get to know a few new family members of hers instead of just her immediate family members, and you quite like everyone you meet, except for Uncle Archie who stays away from you. You start to get quite drunk around 10pm and Melissa stays by your side more as she wants to keep an eye on you.

“I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.” Melissa tells you and you nod before she walks away.

“Look at her ass and boobs more and you’re no better than a perv.” Kristen Marie says as she walks up to you.

“Well I’m with her so I’m just a pervy girlfriend then.” You tell her and she smiles.

“So what happened at Christmas? You never told me why Melissa was threatening us.”

“You guys reminded me of my mom.” You tell her and she nods.

“I guess we’re a lot on Christmas.” She says and you nod. “We’re much better every other day of the year though.” She adds and you giggle. You then stumble and fall into Kristen Marie who catches you. “You’re quite drunk.” She tells you and takes your drink. “How many of these have you had?” She asks after sniffing it.

“4…?” You say unsure, then start showing fingers that definitely don’t add up to 4.

“They’re really strong.” She tells you.

“And tastes really good.” You say and giggle.

“Your girlfriend is really drunk.” Kristen Marie says and then pushes you to Melissa.

“Wee!” You say and then Melissa catches you. “Can I tell you a secret?” You ask her and she nods. “I have a girlfriend who probably won’t like how close we are.” You whisper to her. “You actually look a lot like her.” You say with surprise and you gasp. “Like twins.” You say and she starts leading you to the couch as you keep stumbling as you walk.

“I’m sure your girlfriend won’t mind if I take care of you tonight.” She tells you and then throws you on the couch.

“Ahh!” You say and then burst out into giggles as you hit the couch.

“I’ll go get you some water and food.” Melissa says and then walks away to the kitchen.

“What’s up Eva?” Maria Christina asks you as she sits down next to you.

“Don’t tell Melissa but I may have drank a lot.” You tell her “shh.” You say and do the ‘shh’ motion.

“I won’t tell her. But maybe you and your loose lips want to play truth or dare?” She asks you as everyone agrees.

“Ok, but don’t tell Melissa.” You say and then giggle.

“Eva, truth or dare?” Maria Christina asks you.

“Dare!” You exclaim and Melissa comes back just as you say that.

“I dare you to kiss-”

“The name you say better be mine cause she ain’t kissing nobody else.” Melissa cuts her off with.

“Well where’s the fun if I say your name? You two have probably already kissed 5 times this hour.” Maria Christina complains to her sister with. “Eva, I dare you to kiss Toni.” She tells you and earns a glare from Melissa.

“Which Toni?” You ask.

“Sister Toni.” She explains and you nod. You then get up and give Toni a quick kiss on her lips. You then sit back down and Melissa sits beside you with some food and water for you. You start eating the food as the game continues. The truths and dares get more scandalous as it goes on and then Melissa ends up before anyone gives you a lap dance.

You disappear on Melissa when a family member starts talking to her and she finds you with another drink and holding onto Annette for dear life.

“There you are.” Melissa says and takes you from Annette. “Sorry about that, she escaped from me.” She tells her cousin.

“That’s alright, kinda like a kid.” Annette tells her and then goes to talk to another cousin.

“Don’t go wandering off.” She tells you and you just stare at her in amazement.

“Am I in trouble?” You ask her as she leads you back to the couch with her siblings.

“You will be if you wander off again.” She tells you sternly.

“Is mommy gonna punish me?” You ask her and she quickly covers your mouth but all her siblings heard. They all have their mouths hanging open in shock before the twins and Maria Christina have giant smirks on their face.

“OH! OOOHHH!” Maria Christina exclaims.

“OH MY GOD!” Toni says.

“This is the best!” Tony adds.

“You guys have a mommy kink!” Maria Christina says loudly and Melissa glares at them.

“Keep your voices down.” Melissa scolds them.

“Why is mommy gonna punish us too?” Maria Christina teases and all her siblings laugh, even Marie.

“Seriously? All of you?” Melissa says as she throws you on the couch.

“Wee!” You say, completely unaware of what’s going on.

“It’s too funny.” John Anthony says.

“Your girlfriend keeps throwing you under the bus.” Marie Camille says as Melissa sits next to you and you wrap your arms around her.

“You’re my girlfriend, right?” You ask her and she sighs.

“At the moment that’s in question, loose lips.” She says and her siblings burst out laughing. “Oh all youse can shut it.” She scolds her siblings.

“Is mommy gonna spank us?” Kristen Marie teases and Melissa whips her head at her sister.

“Eva is definitely in trouble for this.” Melissa mumbles and then you plant kisses all over her face and then climb into her lap.

“Looks like mommy’s attention is wanted.” Seamus says and Melissa sighs loudly. Melissa puts her hands on her temples and you fall to the ground as Melissa wasn’t supporting you.

“Ow!” You say and then Melissa helps you up. You sit back on the couch with a pout, cross your arms and look away from her.

“Oh the silent treatment? Really? How mature.” Melissa says sarcastically.

“Looks like mommy is in trouble.” Tony says and all her siblings laugh again.

“Everyone shut it.” Melissa tells them all sternly. “Eva, quite it out.” She tells you.

“You pushed me.” You tell her and then quickly glare at her before turning your head back to not look at her.

“I didn’t push you, you fell by accident.” She tells you.

“Doesn’t look like she’s forgiving you.” John Anthony tells her and she sighs.

“Really? I didn’t notice.” She replies sarcastically. You then suddenly get up and try to make a run for it but the twins catch you and hold you back until Melissa grabs you and drags you back to the couch. “Where were you going?” She asks when you’re back on the couch.

“I don’t know.” You tell her and she sighs

“For fuck sake. Cazzo, you’re such an idiota right now Eva.” She tells you and you just blink while staring at her.

“You’re so sexy when you speak Italian. You tell her and straddle her lap and go to kiss her. She covers your mouth with her hand and you open your eyes to stare at her in confusion.

“Not the time or the place.” She tells you and pushes you off of her.

“Ahh!” You say as you’re sitting next to her again. “You pushed me again!” You exclaim and cross your arms.

“This time was a push, the other time you just fell off of me.” She explains to you.

“Hm.” You say and turn to look away from her.

“If you’re ignoring me then I guess you don’t want a midnight kiss to ring in the new year?” She asks you and you widen your eyes before turning to face her.

“What time is it?” You ask her and she looks at her watch.

“11:29pm.” she tells you.

“We could do something to pass the time.” You tell her as you move a hand to her leg and trace it up to the top of her thigh.

“Looks like she wants mommy to punish her.” Toni says and Melissa grabs your hand.

“Later.” She tells you and you pout.

“But I’m bored.” You complain and turn around then lean back and place your head on her lap dramatically.

“You’re acting like the kids in my class.” She says. “I’m sure if they can survive 7 hours in school 5 days a week, then you can survive 31 minutes right now.” She tells you and gently runs her fingers through your hair.

“Eva, didn’t you see that your family is Irish?” John Anthony asks you and you turn your head to look at him and nod. “Then drinking is in your blood, have some more.” He says to you and then leans close to Melissa. “It’s just water.” He says to her and hands you the cup. You drink the whole thing and then place it on the table.

“There was no flavour there.” You say to them.

“Wasn’t there? There was flavour in mine.” He tells you.

“You have pretty eyes.” You tell Melissa and her cheeks turn slightly red.

“Well thank you Mia Stellina.” She says and you lean in closer to her. “What are you doing?” She asks you.

“Looking at your eyes. They’re a beautiful green.” You tell her and she smiles.

“Well thank you but can you back away a bit so you’re not right in my face.” She tells you and then the giant tv springs to life and everyone’s attention turns to it. Teresa changes it to the New Year Eve’s celebration in New York and you watch it in amazement. One of the bands starts playing a song and you grab Melissa’s hand and pull her up off the couch.

“Let’s dance!” You exclaim to her and she laughs as you pull her to a free space and the two of you start dancing to the song.

Everyone turns to the two of you before a few other couples start dancing as well. When the song is over, half the people there are dancing and Melissa is laughing as you stumble through the entire song. She catches you everytime and she still enjoys dancing with you even though she’s catching you for half the song. Another song comes on and everyone starts dancing again and Melissa holds on to you tightly this time and leads the dance.

“Alright 1 minute to midnight!” Teresa shouts as the countdown on the tv shows 60 seconds. Some of the kids come up and your brothers move their way through the crowd to you. Melissa holds onto your waist as the excitement is building for the new year.

“My New Year’s resolution is to make every day with you count.” She tells you and you smile at her.

“That’s mine as well.” You tell her.

“Ready?” Someone exclaims and then the entire room starts counting down.

“10…9…8…7…6…5…”. Everyone shouts and Melissa turns her body towards yours and pushes you closer to her. “4…3…2…”. Melissa leans in at the last second, lips almost touching. “1!”

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chameleonwritess · 12 hours ago

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Okay I accidentally got the flambé insanity out of my system on my enstars spam Instagram but I’m still gonna scream about ibayuzu bc I NEED TO….

Listen, I may say things about how awful they are for each other and like ‘lol ibayuzu is their bad ending’ because I love me some toxic yaoi, but hear me out: nah it’s not actually all that toxic OR bad for them, they just need to SIT DOWN AND COMMUNICATE WITHOUT THE DRAMATICS AND THE CONSTANT TRYING TO ONE UP EACH OTHER which is probably not gonna happen because they both love the dramatics and one upping each other too much

Now here’s why: pretty much the ONLY TIME we see Yuzuru get to be himself is when he’s talking to Ibara. Can you imagine how much of a relief it must be to him that FINALLY he can drop the act and SNAP at this Guy? Knowing that a) he can take it because he’s actively encouraged it and is already well aware of exactly how ruthless Yuzuru is capable of being and b) it’s not going to ruin his reputation or leak his background to any fans or higher ups because Ibara needs to keep their history just as secret at Yuzuru. Ibara is so so important to Yuzuru because as much as he can complain about how much he despises him…. He’s not even ALLOWED to express open distaste for anyone else- this is the one person he can be a bitch towards without fear or without having to cover up the bitchiness with feigned niceties (and Yuzuru is such a bitch at heart xoxo)

And now for Ibara. Yuzuru is one of the only people he can ALWAYS trust. He knows Yuzuru’s past, he knows Yuzuru’s mindset better than anyone else and he KNOWS he’s the only one who’s aware of how Yuzuru really feels and works, which gives him the comfort of knowing that Yuzuru isn’t gonna betray him. Yuzuru has nothing to gain from screwing him over and ruining his life or anything else. Sure he’s a thorn in his side when it comes to his sneaky tricks and schemes, but when it comes to being able to breathe freely and not have to battle every day of his life, afraid that everyone around him is just waiting for the opportunity to tear him down and send him right back into the battlefield, he knows that Yuzuru is safe. And I think he’s aware enough by now that Yuzuru does genuinely care about him- favourite pupil privileges and all that.

So basically, Flambé sent me insane because of the amount of mentions about their joint past and the way they instantly retort back to anything the other says. Yuzuru snarkily saying that Ibara must struggle to give gifts because he doesn’t care about anyone else (I smell resentment from the past. Why are you so convinced of that, Yuzuru? You know Ibara just wanted a safe haven- upset that wasn’t you? Upset he chose Nagisa over you???? Upset that he doesn’t care about you like you care about him??????????). We also have Ibara scheming in his own mind and WATCHING for Yuzuru’s reaction. Because Yuzuru doesn’t say anything. We just get a sprite of him narrowing his eyes. And suddenly Ibara’s like ‘haha he noticed! Just as I expected hehe! Can’t get away with anything with Yuzuru around!’… Ibara why are you watching? Why are you waiting and hoping he thwarts you????? (Lmao Perry and Doofenshmirtz ass dynamic) Ibara you don’t need to pretend to be evil just to get Yuzuru to stop you so you have an excuse to enjoy being an idol….. I mean, Yuzuru sees through it and is gonna enable that for you anyway but THERE WAS NO NEED I PROMISE!!

Ugh they make me insane. Read Flambé, y’all!!! It’s also one of my fave Rinne stories because I love love love when an all out over the top dramatic character gets to show a more subdued side and drop the mask for a bit- especially around a specific person (rinniki nation winning) (wow weird thing for the notorious wataei freak to comment on)

And I’m done byeeee

#Cham goes crazy #I can’t stop thinking about ibayuzu someone put me down like a sick dog #forcing my gf to cosplay them with me next con #she was cosplaying Ibara anyway #I just went ohohoho Yuzuru at con time >:) I’m gonna strangle you >:)#enstars #ibayuzu #yuzuiba #yuzubara #rinniki #flambé #ensemble stars #Yuzuru fushimi #Ibara saegusa #rinne amagi

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ineedpaigebuckets · 23 hours ago

Note

I have a request, maybe you can make it a short series 😭 I also had to ask chat gpt to organize it cause I can’t write for shit.

This is what I wrote on my notes app, but I’m going to put the organized version chat gpt gave me as well in another ask.

Anyway, pazzi!

Au pazzi fic where paige and azzi meet bc az family moves to MN and azzi is transferred to Hopkins HS, she meets paige there on the team but she has a gf on the cheerleading team.

They don’t get along at first bc azzi meets a guy her first day there who’s been trying to get with her, azzi likes him back, but what she doesn’t know is that this guy used to make derogatory remarks about paige (homophobia maybe or something else idk) and so paige thinks azzi knew that and still went out of her way to date him, now she thinks she’s straight and homophobic.

Azzi does think she’s straight, and really likes this guy she’s met but as time passes she gets uncomfortable with some things he says or his friends say. She thinks it’s because she knows there’s a lot of queer people in the wbb community, but deep down she worries it might be something else. She lets this comments slide or even laughs (anxiously) along with everyone else to feel “normal” but it feels wrong.

Paige overhears some of this things and it only makes her more mad at azzi, she’s found out they work incredibly well together on the court, insane chemistry, and thinks she can maybe get to know her, but after that she’s just upset about it, about her, she’s heard it before, from other people, from this group, but doesn’t know why she’s letting it hit her so hard when azzi does it.

Some people throw a house party and everyone’s going, the athletes, cheerleaders, azzi’s bf group, etc. Everyone’s drinking, paige is with her gf and some girls on the team and azzi’s with her bf and his friends playing beer pong. Paige and her gf have an argument over paige not stepping up to azzi but paige defends herself saying she can’t let outside conflicts affect the team and their game. Truth is they’ve been having relationship issues since before azzi moved to MN, but Paige’s gf always seemed to be back, this time, paige knew she was probably right, but she didn’t care, she was tired. They break up.

Azzi heard a bit of their argument before they went outside (she didn’t hear when they were talking about her). She felt a little bad, even though she didn’t have a good relationship with paige, nevertheless it was none of her business, until a friend of her bf saw paige come in alone and a little frustrated and said “ooh the dykes broke up again” and azzi’s bf and other friends laughed, this time, azzi wasn’t about to let it slide, maybe it was the liquor courage but she threw her cup of vodka at the guy who made the comment and then looked at her boyfriend and said “control your fucking dog” “if I hear any other bs about anyone on my team, we’re done”.

She then leaves not caring the guy who she got her drink spilled on was calling her a bitch between other insults. She goes to one of the rooms upstairs and lays down on the bed, pondering. Paige, after seeing that scene, goes looking for azzi, not even knowing why, it was none of her business, maybe it was the alcohol in her system. She finds the room azzi is in but not knowing what she was there do in the first place, tries to start an argument with her, azzi defends herself saying she just stood up for her, paige says that she didn’t before and that she was full of shit. They’re both heated and drunk, azzi’s out of words, she knows paige has a right to be angry and she doesn’t know what comes over her, but she starts crying. Paige feels bad and goes over to her, azzi apologizes, and they stay quiet while paige holds azzi for a minute. Paige doesn’t know what comes over her now, but she asks azzi to break up with her boyfriend.

Azzi is taken aback by the request, she knows it’s probably for the best but she doesn’t know why paige sounds like it’s more for her than it is for the sake of the team, etc. Still, azzi locks eyes with paige and tells her she will, if that is he isn’t with some other girl already, they laugh, then they stare at each other quietly. Azzi starts getting nervous and she says they should head back down, but paige grabs her hand and gives her a kiss on her cheek, azzi stares shocked, but it’s only right to do the same, right? She tries to kiss her cheek back but paige moves and they share a kiss on the lips. Azzi is embarrassed and immediately apologizes, but paige grabs her and they start making out, azzi pulls away after a while and says “I’m not gay, just drunk”.

Paige is shocked even though she should have expected this but says “ofc you are, way to ruin the moment”. They don’t know if it’s because they’re drunk but neither of them can get away, like they��re frozen, so they go at it again, until there’s a knock on the door, someone trying to go in but thank god it’s locked. They pretend azzi was throwing up in the bathroom inside the bedroom, and then go back to the party without saying another word to each other. Azzi finds her boyfriend cuddled up with another girl, they exchange words and break up, then she turns around to leave, until she sees paige go past by her and punches azzi’s now ex boyfriend. She’s pulled back by azzi and some other people around them.

Azzi drags Paige outside and argue a little about how azzi had it handled and didn’t need to be saved, paige says it was for herself and all the times he had something to say about her before, but being honest they both didn’t believe that. Paige gets frustrated and says the real reason azzi’s so bothered by this is because of what happened upstairs, they argue some more and then part ways, they’re back to square one.

Idk where to go from there, just very angsty, good ending though pls lol 😞

oh my god i love you!!! i WILL be writing this whenever i can trust me it will be a multi part series of you wanna dm me PLEASE i'll give you credit and like i literally love you 🤩

#paige bueckers #pazzi #azzi fudd #uconn wbb #wbb

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katuschka · 1 day ago

Text

His Sugar-Dusted Skin – Part 1

Jake Kiszka x reader 5.639 words (Part 1)

So, After some consideration, I decided to split this one in two, because a) I promised to post it this weekend and it's not finished yet, and b) it might me too long. December's been a bit chaotic and as I said before, I've been struggling a bit with this one. So let me know what you think. Any feedback is much appreciated!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): alcohol consumption and heavy intoxication, mentions of the death of a close person (retrospective), allusions to a potentially promiscuous behaviour, some strong language, the twins being assholes (kind of... they're still cute), Jake's happy trail, I think that's it for now...

Oh, life…

How ordinary and boring it can get when you stick to thinking that there aren’t any other options. As far as I remember, conformity never made sense to me. And as far as I remember, I was being raised and forced to embrace it. My mind surrendered for a while, but my vagrant soul just kept resisting. I never wanted to fit in. I always wanted to fly.

When I left home three years ago, I didn’t take much with me. My parents didn’t approve of my choices and the only person who would’ve supported me in my decisions was already gone. My beloved grandma. She was the disruptive force that kept me on my toes, always challenging me in the most loving way, knowing too well that it was exactly what I needed. She gave me my first guitar, too. Even though sclerosis made her homeward-bound, her dreams and fantasies always kept her wandering. I loved that. She was always there to spark my imagination and in return, I wanted to be her legs and eyes one day. When I was little, my friends used to call her fairy godmother. “Keep your sails up sweetheart, the wind is whimsical.” That’s what she used to say. “All you need is that air in your lungs and love in your heart.”

“You must never leave me, oma,” I said to her once. “I need that love in my heart forever.”

“Someone else will fill it, darling,” she replied. “I’m only here to make sure it is open. But one day, you won’t need me anymore.”

When she died, I lost my only reason to stay there. The world was slowly getting to its feet again and it was my turn to do the same. I had dreams that simply couldn’t be fulfilled at home. My heart was aching for adventure. So I packed my bags, just like they sing in old songs, slung my guitar over my shoulder and hit the road. A vagabond chick.

As I came to Tennessee, all I owned could fit in my barely drivable car: literally just a few dresses, my phone, my modest savings, my old six string, my treasured voice and THE recipe. Aaaah, those were the days…

Who am I kidding? It was pretty rough at first. VERY rough, to be honest. I cried many nights. But the one thing my parents had taught me was to save money, and that helped me survive the first months, when I waited tables during the day and sang my ass off after dark.

Many people never make it. Hell, even though I’m an optimist, I have to admit that most don’t. If you’re not strong willed and immune to shit, you’re most certainly destined to fail. I’ve seen way too many extra talented and broken people on my journey, just because they were too nice or too naive. Well, I’m not naive, but I’m definitely not a cold bitch either. I think I just got lucky, because I had my guardian angel with me the whole time. When she was still walking on earth, she absolutely loved the Beatles, With a Little Help from My Friends being her favorite song. My childhood memories are filled with those songs and how she sang along, and I believe that it was her doing that eventually turned this tune into the soundtrack of my life. I met a lot of fantastic people on my arduous journey towards my goals and dreams, and that’s how I got by.

As a token of my gratitude, I baked cookies for them. My grandma’s famous linzer cookies. THE recipe. Fast forward a few years, I still keep doing that at Christmas. Apart from the fact that my friends simply demand it, it’s also my way of keeping her alive, to make myself feel like she’s still here with me… in a way.

Back home, the whole neighborhood loved her art of baking. Me being her only granddaughter, she literally forced me to learn how to bake those linzer cookies – her own recipe, to be precise. Every time I rolled my eyes, while making annoyed noises, blowing raspberries and just being a little asshole about it in general, she simply smiled and said that one day I’ll thank her. Why – I asked – and she responded that one day it would bring me love. “Love goes through the stomach, my dear. Look at your grandpa. See how huge it is?” And then he smiled and kissed her hair and it always made me believe her.

Except it didn’t happen. At least not yet. It – however – gave me a semblance of home that I consciously chose not to have, but sometimes missed.

Just last year, I decided to continue with the tradition my grandma started back at home. “Love is a reciprocal game, my dear,” she said. “You get what you give, but do not lose yourself in giving.”

They want my sweets? Fine! But let them show me how much. They have to “earn” it. At the beginning of December, I give my friends custom-made Christmas greetings, and if they want to receive their own little box of cookies, they have to send back a card of their own making. The first time was a success, and I ended up baking sweets for eleven people. And it didn’t stop there, as it earned me nine bottles of wine, a flacon of my favorite perfume and a ukulele. All I really wanted was a thank you, but hey! I won’t say no to wine! So I decided to do it again, and this time I received seventeen cards, including three “masterpieces” from the members of the infamous Greta Van Fleet! Yeah, that’s right. While I still feel like I’m barely making it sometimes, I move in high-ish circles. El-oh-el.

I met Daniel first, through a mutual friend, at one of the music clubs we frequented. He was actually one of the eleven buddies that helped me restart this Christmas tradition. Later I learned that he selflessly shared his portion with the rest of the group during a rehearsal he went to right after he dropped by at my place, and that’s how I got invited to one of their semi-private dinners. Dan kindly introduced me as “Joni”, which earned me two “woos” and one ironic smirk. To be fair, I didn’t like it either. It actually made me cringe, because the woman is an unattainable role model, but it was just Daniel being himself, aka the nice guy. Bless his soul.

I went from an acquaintance with useful skills to a drinking buddy, because I’m good at that too. One of my less admirable strengths, but there are times when it comes in handy. Especially when a Johnny Depp wannabe from Middle-earth wants to outsmart you…

A year flew by and it was time to extend my offer to Sam and Josh, who made sure I wouldn’t forget them. Don’t ask me how. The video they sent me definitely had the potential to go viral. I wholeheartedly appreciate how much they trust me not to do that.

They wouldn’t stop there, though. I had to laugh when I received their own precious hand drawn contributions. How sweet. They’re all so sweet actually… well, all except Jake. Aloof, taciturn and arrogant, that’s how he rolls. I’m pretty sure he just can’t stand me, because while he often laughs with others, he only ever laughs at me. His opinion on my baking goes hand in hand with what he thinks about my playing, preferring darker and more spicy shit, as he once put it. Well, whatever. He’s a colossal prick.

It’s quite unfortunate that I’ve also had a colossal crush on him for quite some time now. As I said, I’m a vagabond chick, and he happens to possess all the right shit to lure me. Like a moth to a flame. And I got burned.

See, oma? Not working.

Well, I’m not the one to cry over guys, so I’m not going to lose my sleep over that. He can go fuck himself. (Someone else can do it. I swear he needs it.).

Seventeen packages meant I was going to spend most of the Friday evening as well as the whole Saturday slaving in my kitchen. Thankfully, I really do enjoy doing this, so it’s simply an essential part of Christmas festivities. A good time spent with me, myself and Ella Fitzgerald. It’s still quite a lot of work though.

Friday was just about making dough. It might seem easy, but you need to understand that in order to make enough cookies for 17 (!) people, I needed more than 5 lbs of flour, 3 lbs of butter, nearly 24 ounces of sugar, 23 egg yolks and zest from 6 lemons! I will say no more to protect the family secret, but you can see it takes a lot of effort just to put this all together. I take this very seriously. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

It had to be perfect.

But alas! I couldn’t have known that one malicious and horny sprite who wanted me to spoil him with my art of baking was also going to sabotage my efforts in the most peculiar way.

Once finished, I covered the dough with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge to let it rest overnight before I hopped in the shower to wash off the sweaty sugar crust that seemed to stick to every inch of my exposed skin. It was almost midnight when I finally managed to climb in bed, pleasantly exhausted and happy, only to be woken up by a frantic doorbell noise at around two am. A normal person would just freak out in such a situation, but knowing who that might be, I was already pretty much used to it as I lived nearest to their favorite bar. Our favorite bar, to be precise.

Over time, they came to an agreement that my tiny apartment was a perfect place for nightcaps, the only problem being that the Kiszkas were usually quite loud about it, completely ignoring the fact that I had neighbors. Thankfully, this part of town is a bit specific in a sense that the said neighbors simply didn’t give a shit, with their own lifestyle not being much different.

This is what I wanted. Friends, late night laughs, my life filled with music and hugs and kisses and peculiar outcomes of unpredictable events that could only lead to more hugs and kisses.

There was this one time when Josh fell asleep on my couch while the others simply sneaked away giggling and left him there, spread-eagled and snoring his uvula off. Several hours later, I was woken up by the delicious smell of buttermilk waffles, served with maple syrup and a guilty, puppy dog stare.

Simply put, they were (almost) always welcome here. Almost…

Sober, sleepy and disoriented, I was definitely in no mood for a late night party (or an early morning one… seriously Josh, wtf!), with all the baking lying ahead of me. I didn’t even have to guess if it was really them; I could already hear them the moment my heart calmed down a bit and I stepped out of my bedroom. Determined to chase them away with a rolling pin, I answered the door angrily and was nearly knocked down by the falling Oliver Reed who obviously decided to lean against it the very moment I yanked it open.

It’s always intrigued me how the brain works in these situations, working so fast that the time seems to slow down to an almost comical pace. I watched in slow motion how his back slid against the wood, his arms flapping in the air in a futile attempt to regain balance. I could tell at the first fleeting glance that he wasn’t fit to keep his balance standing, let alone falling, so no wonder it was a completely lost cause. Some voice at the back of my skull tried to tell me to jump aside, but I was too mesmerized by the sight. Just when his shoulder hit me clumsily in the chest and I stumbled backwards, Josh finally managed to grab Jake’s arms to keep him from knocking me down completely. My rolling pin fell on the wooden floor with a loud bang that made my neighbor’s dog bark. Jake, now aggressively pinned against the corridor wall by Josh, only added to the ear-piercing nocturnal cacophony with his loud howls: “Whoa whooooa!”

“Shhh, shut the fuck up, Jake!” Josh hissed through his teeth before he turned his concerned stare back at me. “Y/N, sweetheart, terribly sorry hun! Didn’t mean too…” I could tell that he was tipsy as well, but it paled in comparison with the state Jake was in. I had seen him drunk many times before, with his glossy, beady eyes and unfocused stare that always made him look a bit like a teddy bear. This was new, though. He seemed absolutely plastered.

Out of the imminent danger, but with my heart still wildly pumping adrenaline-enriched blood into my veins, I grabbed the doorframe first to support myself before I tried to make sense of what was just happening in front of me.

They weren’t alone. Right behind Josh stood a guy whom I had seen a few times before, but I couldn’t recall his name. He looked slightly uncomfortable. “What the fuck, Josh!?!” I hissed.

Josh immediately tried to win me over with the most sheepish smile he could muster, but his involuntarily cocked eyebrow betrayed him, which only made me more furious. “Dearest Y/N, we need your help, baby!”

“With what? I asked incredulously.

“I need you to take care of my asshole brother, pretty pleeeease.”

“You what?” I goggled at him, completely taken aback by his impudent request. “Why can’t you just take him home?” Much to Jake’s annoyance, we kept discussing him and his imminent future as if he wasn’t even there, which only resulted in another outburst of his loud and incoherent babbling and our collective attempt to shush him before Josh answered.

“Because, I am not planning on going home, honey,” he whisper-shouted, hoping that I would just get it without him having to be too obvious. Yeah, I got it. It didn’t mean I was willing to help him. I looked at the guy again, who suddenly pretended to be very interested in the hallway lights. At that moment, the owner of the barking dog opened his own door to passionately inform us what we all were. I had no other choice than to hastily usher them all in.

“You can’t leave him here just like that? Are you out of your mind? Is this some kind of retribution for what he did the last time? Because it’s not funny. This is my home, and not a fucking sobering center! Just call him an uber,” I continued to protest once we were all safely inside my apartment, and that’s when Jake chimed in for the first time with something that made at least a bit of sense: “Yeah, ah-don’ wanna…,” he hiccupped before he could finish the sentence, making me even more incensed with the whole situation. He quickly tried to amend it, but it was too late. I was seething, my nostrils flaring. “...bother-er. Ah-don’ wanna bother-er! She’s…fierssshe!” he spat in Josh’s face, making him scrunch his face in disgust.

“Well, you should have thought about not bothering people before you got so shitfaced,” Josh spat back, completely ignoring what I just said. “This is your doing.”

What? I shot a deadly stare at Josh. No, it was absolutely not Jake’s doing that they were now standing in my living room. And regardless of the fact that I had work to do – and he knew that – he also knew how I felt about Jake, and was now putting me in a very uncomfortable position. “Out! All of you!”

I’m pretty sure I must have looked like Wrath personified, because Jake whoa’ed again and Josh seemed to finally acknowledge his misconduct. He grabbed my hands in his, suddenly looking like a meek puppy. “I’m sorry, babe. Don’t be mad, hun. I know this is too much to ask, but do this for a friend. I beg you…”

“No, I beg you Josh!” I tried to sound as calm and collected as possible through my gritted teeth, knowing that being just mad would get me nowhere. Josh was too stubborn to ever acknowledge someone else’s anger and boundaries meant nothing to him once you became his friend, which basically meant family. However, he was empathetic. “You know I have a lot of baking to do tomorrow. I’m tired. Just please, take him home.”

Josh bit his lip and he looked like he was trying to say something and NOT say it at the same time. It was late and I felt awfully tired, but the whole thing seemed a bit fishy to me. Just when Josh nodded and finally opened his mouth to respond, Jake grabbed his shoulder. “Ah need to pee, Jawshy boy,” he whined and swayed dangerously, pouting his lips at his twin brother. He was already in his teddy bear phase which meant that he indeed wasn’t fit to be sent home alone in an uber. He’d be knocked out in no time, and even if Josh went with him, he’d have a hard time just getting him out of the car.

Josh glanced sideways at the guy, who had been pretending to be invisible the whole time, and then looked at me pleadingly again. I capitulated. “OK, take that big baby to the bathroom and I’ll fetch some blankets,” I sighed.

Together, they helped Jake get comfy on the couch and he fell asleep before his head even touched the pillow. And me? I felt relieved when I finally closed the door behind them and everything became quiet again, disturbed only by Jake’s light snoring.

They were taking their time, so once I fixed the makeshift bed, it was just me and the guy standing in the middle of the room, waiting, and it was getting increasingly awkward with each passing second. “So, you’re Y/N,” he finally spoke.

“Yeah,” I answered curtly, confirming the obvious. “We’ve met.”

“But we weren’t properly introduced yet. I’m Martin.” I shook Martin’s hand politely without really wanting to, because I knew that if they were heading to his place instead of Josh’s, it probably meant that the chances I’d see Martin again were quite low. Yet another reason for me being annoyed.

I poured him a large glass of water, squeezed some fresh lemon juice into it and placed it carefully on a small table right next to his head before I switched off the light, leaving just a small table lamp on, and went back to my bed, hoping to spend the rest of the night in peace and get some much needed rest.

However, the fact that there was Jacob Kiszka, Sir, lying unconscious on my couch right outside my bedroom door, made it a bit difficult to fall back to sleep. I had never been in a situation like this and it made me feel unpleasantly agitated. I wasn’t afraid of him. I just didn’t trust my own feelings.

I should have been angry.

But I was not. Not exactly. Not anymore. My heart wasn’t beating wildly out of annoyance. Instead, I felt like a schoolgirl, trapped in an elevator with that annoying boy from music class who was also her crush. There were many conflicting feelings inside both my head and chest; and knowing that he probably wouldn’t remember how he ended up on my couch come morning only made it all worse.

I finally dozed off, but morning came sooner than I wished it would, and with it a headache. It felt like just a brief moment, filled with restless dreams about me and Jake dancing on the rooftop to Golden Slumbers playing out of nowhere, with sugar snowing down at us and our hands sticky with jam. Then he smeared some on my cheek and peppered it with kisses…

When I opened my eyes, the feeling still lingered, like powdered sugar on the top of my tongue. Soft and weightless like snowflakes, yet it lay heavily on my chest. Together with the lack of rest, it made me feel almost hungover-ish. I lied unmoving for a while, listening to the silence that surrounded me and wondering whether he was still there. Maybe he already woke up earlier and quickly sneaked out after realizing where he was.

It was unlikely, but I could hardly ever control these self-deprecating thoughts. Especially regarding men. I cursed Josh once again and decided to take a quick cold shower to wake up my senses.

It helped only just a bit. Refreshed, I opened my bedroom door carefully and peaked inside the living room. He was still there, and fast asleep. Slowly, I creeped up on him on my tiptoes, and then spent several long seconds just watching him sleep, before I started to feel like a complete lunatic. But… he looked so peaceful and almost angelic in the milky morning light, lying on his side with his hands folded under his chin, his lips parted and brows relaxed. The glass was empty, and I couldn’t help but smile involuntarily. Once there was a way to get back homeward…

Then I remembered that this was no domestic idyl. I just had a drunk rock guitarist on my couch, and – let’s be brutally honest here – once I got past that dreamy visual illusion, a strong olfactory reminder of this much more prosaic reality hit my nostrils.

I also had several large chunks of dough in the fridge and a debilitating headache that almost made me question all my life choices.

No, it didn’t.

But all those things had to be taken care of and I had no idea how. I tried to be as quiet as a mouse at first, but after realizing that it could take at least a couple more hours before he’d wake up, maybe even half a day – the time that I couldn’t afford to waste – I took Josh’s previous advice and decided to just ignore him.

I really needed coffee… to get the stupid dream, and the song, and all my delusions out of my head. Did I forget that he was also a big-headed asshole? Yeah, that’s the spirit.

It turned out that my worries were groundless anyway. I could make as much noise as possible in my adjacent kitchenette and he wouldn’t even stir. The motherfucker really seemed to be losing his hearing from standing in front of those huge amplifiers and the malicious creature inside my chest chuckled at the thought.

I took the dough out of the fridge and let it soften at room temperature while I made myself some coffee and started to get everything ready. Clanking of baking sheets, coffee grinder, squeaking cabinet doors…nothing seemed to disturb my sleeping beauty. I kept casting wary glances at him every now and then at first, but soon I got accustomed to the unusual situation and just immersed myself in my work.

I had my very elaborate system. I could fit twenty cut pieces – meaning ten cookies – on one sheet, there was roughly enough dough for approximately thirty sheets, it takes ten minutes to bake AND I had only four sheets. You can see I had to be very systematic. Preparation is the key and every minor disturbance could be disastrous. Thankfully, I’m a master multitasker. Still, I prayed to all the known and yet to be made-up deities that nothing would happen. No more surprises, please and thank you.

A few hours passed and the delicious aroma of lemon and vanilla started to fill the room. I was also sweating like a pig, rolling and cutting the dough in haste, always making sure I had enough sheets ready so that there would be no idle time. Focused on the task ahead, I didn’t hear him stir, and my heart jumped in my throat when I finally looked up and saw those beady eyes watching me intently.

I tried to keep my cool, looking down again quickly. “Well, good morning,” I mumbled. It was almost midday.

“Morning, Y/N…,” he choked out huskily and finally tried to stand up, which only resulted in him groaning in pain and slumping back immediately. Oh yeah, consequences…

“Do you remember how you got here?” I asked tentatively.

“I wish I could say I do, but to be honest, I’ve no idea,” he breathed out with his eyes closed. “I was just hanging out with Josh and the next thing I know I’m lying on your couch at blue hour, feeling half dead.” He finally opened at least one eye, just enough to be able to see me.

I nodded and continued cutting the dough. I wasn’t going to make it any easier for him. The timer just chimed and I had to switch the sheets anyway.

“So?”

Did I just hear annoyance and impatience in his voice? Oh yeah, a hungover asshole is still an asshole. It shouldn’t have surprised me. “What?” I spat back over my shoulder.

“Care to explain what the fuck I’m doing here?”

I don’t understand how he always managed to just smash all my buttons with one single blow, and once again he made me see red. I literally threw the next sheet in the oven and slammed the door shut with a loud bang before I turned around and lashed out at him.

“Oh I wish I knew the answer. Be so kind and ask your precious brother who literally just pushed you through my door in the middle of the night, half-conscious and reeking of whisky, because he wanted to get laid. You’re welcome! Fucker…”

He blinked a few times, obviously taken aback.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” The tone of his voice changed and for a split second I almost regretted my curtness. Almost. “Just let me call an uber and I’ll be out of here in no time,” he mumbled, checking his pocket, while I watched him struggle with secret satisfaction. That headache must have been hellish. Good. At least I wasn’t the only one.

He suddenly frowned and started rummaging in all his pockets frantically, including the jacket haphazardly thrown over the armrest. “Where the hell is my phone… and my valet… and my fucking keys. Y/N…did you take my stuff?”

“What? No! The last thing I’d wanna do would be to prevent you from leaving.”

We were watching each other warily, both equally confused. Then it dawned on him. “I’m gonna kill that scrawny little bastard!” Straightening up, he closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath in a futile attempt to fight off his growing nausea as well as the rage that made his nostrils flare.

My anger dissipated in an instant… or, to be more precise, it was instantly redirected towards his twin. “I don’t understand. Why would he do that? He knows how busy I am today,” I whined.

Jake didn’t respond. Instead, he asked for my phone. I quickly dialed Josh’s number and handed it to Jake, because the timer chimed again.

It went straight to voicemail.

As I was stacking freshly baked pieces on a tray placed on the small kitchen island which also served as my dining table, Jake leaned against it right opposite to me, looking absolutely miserable. “What now?”

Am I their mother or what? I couldn’t drive him, but even if I did, he still didn’t have his keys. I couldn’t even call him an uber to Josh’s, because I knew that scrawny little bastard wasn’t there. It became obvious that Jake was stuck with me for at least another couple hours. He kept watching, obviously still waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t answer. Instead, I just sighed and grabbed the rolling pin again, aggravated with both of them and feeling like their hostage, stuck in the middle of their infantile games. The time was ticking, with my perfectly planned schedule already disrupted.

“Let me at least help you,” he looked at me hopefully with those puppy eyes they both shared. Fuckers. Seriously. Quirks of the mischievous nature that at one point decided that one of them wasn’t enough.

“I think you should take a shower first.”

It was a deliberate jab, and I expected him to retort back just like he always did. I did NOT expect him to widen his eyes in genuine horror. “Is it that bad?”

I didn’t dare answer that question but my face betrayed me when I looked at him sideways and bit my lip. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and took one tentative whiff. “Oh my god, it is. I think I need more than a shower, actually. I smell as if I slept in a puddle of beer.”

I immediately regretted that I let him sleep on my couch, but he looked completely bashful and embarrassed and my previous unwillingness to continue helping him was already in shambles.

“Ok,” I sighed and put down the cookie cutter. “Come with me. I have some spare sweatpants. Thankfully, my ass is just as big as yours, but it might be a bit too tight around the waist…”

“Excuse me?” he protested, but otherwise obediently followed me into my bedroom.

“You’re right. My mistake. Yours is bigger,” I chuckled at my own joke while rummaging in my drawer, before throwing him a pair of my favorite grey sweatpants, an old, oversize flannel shirt and a clean towel. “Everything else you might need is in the bathroom. The washing machine’s down in the basement.”

“Thank you. Uummm…do you, perhaps, have a spare toothbrush? For friends... and such?” He smiled cheekily, testing my patience once again. But to be fair, he couldn’t have known that there was a shortage of “and such” people ever since I met him, because I just wasn’t interested in anyone else for a while now.

“Yeah, there’s a couple of them in the purple cabi… oh fuck!” I quickly excused myself, alarmed by the smell of something burning, because I forgot to set the timer…

Too busy trying to stave off the impending disaster in my kitchen, I barely noticed him sneaking around me on his way down to the basement. So, when he knocked on the door a moment later and I answered it, the sight in front of me threw me completely off-guard. Being no stranger to Jake’s exposed chest, there was a strange sense of novelty in seeing him in my own unbuttoned shirt. Paul started singing inside my head again, but only until my eyes involuntarily slid further down, putting the song to an abrupt stop, just like a torn magnetic tape.

I was right about the waist being too tight, which meant he had it pulled down well below his navel, and seeing his happy trail made me scream internally.

And to top it all off, he still had the towel wrapped around his head.

I was not prepared for the feral reaction he suddenly elicited deep inside my body, and I’m sure he noticed, judging by the cocky half-smile that followed. I quickly turned away before I would compromise myself further.

“I made you some coffee,” I nodded towards the steaming cup waiting for him on the counter, while still not daring to look directly at him again. “... and there are some popsicles in the freezer.”

“Thank yo… popsicles?!?” I might as well have suggested cotton candy, judging by the look he gave me, making me feel like an idiot, so I quickly explained: “Yeah, they’re perfect when you wanna get rid of a hangover. Orange’s my favorite.” I still felt like an idiot.

“I’m feeling better now.” His tone was kind and friendly, for which I was grateful, and I could hear him smiling, with my eyes still fixed on the small yellow circles in front of me. “I think I’m getting a bit hungry, though.”

“I’m not cooking anything now, Jake!” I placed the last little yellow circle on the sheet with care, before I started kneading another chunk of dough frantically.

“No, I didn’t mea…”

“There’s instant ramen on the top shelf.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

“What are YOU going to eat, Y/N?”

“I don’t have time for such luxuries right now…”

“Y/N!” He was leaning against the counter desk right in front of me again. I hadn’t even noticed him sneaking so close again, so his sudden exclamation made me jump. “You have to eat something. Look, your hands are shaking.”

Yeah, no shit. But I’m not exactly hungry. There was a huge lump in my stomach, making it quite full. I was getting lost in the sea of my conflicting feelings again when all of the sudden, he put an abrupt stop to it like a fierce wave that sent me crashing on the shore, as he lifted my chin up gently with his index and middle finger. “Look at me, Y/N. I am going to fix us a quick lunch, ok?”

“Ok…,” I peeped meekly.

Jake just nodded, bound his damp, uncombed hair in a makeshift low bun with the band he always wore on one his fingers just in case, and started rummaging in my fridge. “Allrighty then! What do we have here…,” he crooned cheerfully.

And just like that, Paul was back… lalalalala.

To be continued...

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