#and I’m not sure how much you remember when we’ve had to drag your chakra depleted ass back to Konoha

[whotookmysenbon]

Social isn’t exactly a word I’d use to describe you, Kakashi. And besides. Kids build up immunity to things when they put random shit in their mouths. It’s a surprisingly effective way to keep them from keeling over if they so much as scratch themselves with hemlock or nightshade.

[scratch-your-headband]

Did sasuke truly love sakura?

Well hello there! I must say, my dear anon pal, today is your unlucky day simply because this question was given to Kai, who has never been able to take anything lightly in her life, and this one is no different. Allow me to elaborate.

If you had asked for my opinion, you might had gotten a simple, short, easy to read post but only maybe. But no, anon, you asked for FACTS. And that is what you will get, sole facts and my interpretation of those facts because I cannot keep my mouth shut. Now buckle up because you’re in for one hell of a ride.

Let’s divide this into two parts: the first where Sasuke shall be called Tiny Sasuke, and the second where he will be The Bitch Sasuke.

Now I want to make one thing clear. I don’t have a constant opinion on almost any ship in Naruto. That is not because I’m an opinion-less bitch, but rather because I think that almost every ship has its good and bad sides and my opinion fluctuates depending on the situation and point of view. I don’t like to generalize things. That is exactly the case with SasuSaku. Therefore, do not mistake this post as me being pro or anti SasuSaku, because I am neither.

First off, Sasuke isn’t a character that’s easy to read. He is a quiet type. A loner. Ever since the massacre he had no friends and showed no emotion. I’m purposely implicating the word showed. He has stayed that way until he was assigned to team 7. His bond with team 7 is the first bond he created. We are going to focus on his relationship with Sakura.

Sasuke is cold and only interested in revenge. That’s a fact. I’d like to add that he only seems cold and not only towards Sakura, but towards everyone. Now why did I say seem?

Exhibit A:

He actually opens up a little bit to Sakura. True, he doesn’t say much in this conversation. Or so it appears. We don’t really know how long they’ve been talking or if we saw the entire conversation. Sakura says they don’t have much time left, but Sasuke insists he’ll try to get the bell again. Trying to get the bell takes some time, but after a few sentences, the clock is already ticking, meaning, he may have opened up some more to Sakura.

Exhibit B:

In the Chuunin exams, Sasuke gets the curse mark that hurts like hell. While going through that excruciating pain, he grabs Sakura’s hand (I double check and I’m pretty sure HE took HER hand). Let’s remember, this is the same Sasuke that doesn’t like physical touch. Of course, there is a possibility he’d reach out for a hand of anyone that was next to him in that moment.

Exhibit C:

So after he woke up from practically a coma, he didn’t notice Naruto unconscious next to him, Rock Lee beaten up, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji that are in the middle of a fight. He notices that Sakura’s been beaten up and he does not like that fact.

Exhibit D:

If you like to say that the last exhibit shouldn’t be there because he wasn’t himself while under the curse mark then let’s move on to this. He got enough strength to resist the curse mark when Sakura hugged him and asked him to stop. She brought him back to reality. Again, we can see the No-Touchy-Sasuke being hugged by Sakura and not resisting it one bit.

Exhibit E:

“I will not allow EVEN YOU”

I’m just going to leave this here.

Exhibit F:

“Not EVEN YOU”

These two really speak for themselves.

As we can see, he actually loosened up a little. He got to know Sakura and Naruto and they got to know him. The proof for that is when he immediately noticed that there’s something bothering Sakura because “she’s not being herself” (he did the same with Naruto but again, that’s not the topic). He showed that he created bonds with them, although I don’t think these have to mean that he was romantically interested in Sakura.

Let’s move on to The Bitch:

To understand Sasuke’s character better, I read Sasuke Hiden. Because my tiny brain considers them more canon than canon. I may be a bitch but I’m not a very smart bitch. I read that some SasuSaku shippers tend to find some facts there. And guess what I found. Close to nothing. Actually, I found absolutely nothing that could imply Sasuke is romantically interested in Sakura. Maybe I missed a thing or two? However, what I did find:

Now, this is helpful in order to understand his The Bitch feelings. What I feel people tend to forget during Shippuden is that he’s an avenger. He doesn’t have room for any emotion other than hatred. That is exactly what he’s saying himself.

Let’s not forget that he spent years in this state. This will be helpful later in the text.

I personally believe it’s a bit pointless talking about his emotions at this point. The man clearly said he didn’t have any. Obviously, this extends to his emotions towards Sakura.

Exhibit G:

“I have no reason to love her or be loved by her.” At this point I’m too lazy to find the exact episode for a picture. Just trust me dude, he said it.

And that’s not how he thinks only about Sakura. Let’s face it, before Itachi’s death he only thought of revenge. After Itachi’s death he only thought of revenge. When he learned what actually caused Itachi to do what he did, he felt hatred and disgust towards every citizen of Konoha. They all lived in peace because of Itachi’s sacrifice and they all considered Itachi a bad guy or didn’t even give a shit about him. And Itachi wasn’t just anyone to him. He was the most important person in his life, while he loved and admired him, but also while he hated him. Even when he joined their side in the war, Sasuke still hated Konoha. He hated the system and he was right for it. Viva la revolution!

Also, we absolutely cannot, and I cannot stress this enough, but we CANNOT forget how throughout entire Shippuden it is stated how Sasuke is not himself. When you really think about it, Tiny Sasuke and The Bitch are indeed two completely different people. Even his chakra is different.

For everything stated above, I will not be dragging out this part anymore. I think it’s all too obvious.

However, I will just drop this little thingy here:

“Afraid of making intimate connections.” Remember what I said will be helpful later in text? Well we’ve just come to that ‘later in text’ point.

Now, anon pal, you may have noticed something. I never once mentioned his attempts to kill her. I did that on purpose. I pulled a little sneaky on you. I wanted to put all those together. Now let’s count how many times he tried to kill her! But in Japanese. Everything’s better in Japanese.

1-ichi

2-ni

[madamichaicha]

Tryst (Kakashi x Mei)

The rather harsh and barbaric reputation of the Bloody Mist Village faded with its former leader’s passing. And in Yagura’s place, the young Godaime Mizukage transformed Kirigakure, and restored it to the highly functioning and prestigious shinobi nation it is today.

Mizukage Mei, an incendiary flower, a woman more perceptive than most and known for her lonesome beauty, had succeeded in stabilizing her village after such a dark and blood stained history. With time, her reputation preceded her, with reforming internal policies and improving diplomatic affairs, Mei tirelessly worked night and day, obliging her Kage duties and responsibilities. She was sacrificing her personal life, and all that it included, for the sake of the village and its people. But some days were harder than most, and on those days, Mei often found herself craving the touch of another. She really hated how picky she had become with age, and often cursed her damned sex drive. But she craved the intimate touch of another, especially after long and demanding days.

At the reminder of her most recent pact… a secret pact she had made just days prior, Mei chuckled darkly as she felt her cheeks warm at the fresh memory. Opening her window, trying to cool her flushed face, the Mizukage finished dressing and readied herself for the gala event the Feudal Lords and Daimyo were throwing downstairs in her honor, somewhat ignoring the faint but familiar chakra signature idling just stories below.

To think you would actually be waiting outside my window…  

Smirking under the long bangs that shrouded her face, Mei combed through her long locks one last time and applied a bit of color to her lips. After blowing herself a kiss in the mirror, she stood and made her exit, turning back to give the open window a last minute glance before disappearing into the stairwell.

With one hand gracing the banister, Mei descended the grand staircase in the most dignified of ways, all befitting of the prestigious diplomatic leader she had come to embody. With each stair, her long legs slipped through the thigh high slit in her cerulean gown, the light silk fabric flowing behind her with ease as she made her way down to the main floor, where her hand was met with an obligatory kiss from her head guard, Ao.

"We've got unexpected company, my lady."

"So it seems. Just remember what we discussed, and see that it gets taken care of."

"Yes ma’am."

"Be sure to fetch me when it’s done, okay?"

"Yes ma’am."

"Good. Now if you’ll excuse me… I have some schmoozing to do.”

With a deep and reflective inhale, Mei wore her seductive grin across the floor, her charisma guiding her through the crowd of cretins and pompous Lords and Ladies that had gathered in hopes of appeasing their Kage. It annoyed her to no end, but she had to control her emotions. What did these people know about being a shinobi… a kunoichi even? They knew nothing of pain, sacrifice, or true loss. The only loss they knew involved the loss of paper from their wallets. It was disgusting, really.

Day and night these pigs drool over me, bitching about money here and money there… offering mere pocket change for high rank missions, but dropping tons of cash for pointless ass kissing parties like this… these idiots! This whole party could have funded my shinobi for weeks! What a waste.

Clearing her thoughts and throat, Mei simply offered a polite and reserved smile… gritting her teeth to quell the lava she was tempted to spew during such trite and pointless conversations. They went nowhere and provided little, if any, substance. After making her rounds, talking to all the “important” individuals in attendance, she sat down at her chair at the head of the long and excessively adorned dining hall table where they were to enjoy an elegant five course meal.

Rolling her eyes at the pomp of it all, Mei sat displeased. Disinterested eyes watched everyone enjoy their meal, her restless and perfectly manicured nails drumming on the ostentatious table cloth. Bored with always being the center of attention, Mei often made it a point to stare down each one of the men who let their lingering gazes go unchecked in such long, lewd intervals. Even whilst their wives sat beside them, their disgusting glances still sought her out. But as she returned the favor, putting them under severe scrutiny, she reveled in watching them unravel and fall to pieces. They thought they were so smooth, but as soon as she played at their own game, they crumbled before her… mere specs of ash.

Ha, those pigs! They should be so lucky!

Scoffing at the useless scum littering her presence, her mind flashed with more appealing images, her cheeks flushing with remembrance.  

"Hmm, I wonder how things are going…" she whispered to herself, turning up the glass as she finished the remainder of her Sake.

Proving to be impatient and politely excusing herself from the table as the final course dishes were collected, the ball continued behind her, the music drowning out her enthusiastic humming as she jovially ascended the stairs. She couldn't bother waiting for a signal now, not when she knew he was so close.

Meanwhile…

Kakashi stood below the tallest building in Kirigakure, his eyes drifting towards the windows of the Kage quarters as he made his perimeter sweep. Noting the security detail at the front doors seemed to be excessive tonight, he watched from the shadows as fancy carriages and ornate palanquins brought in an endless parade of stuffy upper class citizens. Judging by their formal attire, and the distant hum of music, the festivities must have already started.

Satisfied that nothing else seemed out of the ordinary, Kakashi took a seat and leaned back against the pillars of the building across the street, pulling out his ever present copy of Icha Icha Special Shinobi Edition, now with twelve additional pages of full color illustrations. It had been a wondrous gift.

But before his eye could make its way through a whole page, he briefly glanced up at the lit window again, this time, wide open with its light blue curtains undulating in the breeze.

It had to be a sign.

Smiling to himself beneath the taut fabric of his mask, he laughed off his attempt to hinder his impatience, stowing his beloved book in his back pouch as he stood.

It was time for a quick visit.

Sleuthing through the dark of night, he made his way across the street in a flash. After he was sure he had not been seen by the guards, he concentrated his chakra to the bottoms of his feet and scoured up the building in no time, light on his toes as he slipped through the open window and into the seemingly empty room. With his eye searching for his target, his brow creased a bit as he felt some what disappointed.

Was his timing off?

Had he misread the situation?

Promising himself he’d return later in the evening, Kakashi sighed as he turned back towards the window. Before he could make his escape, he felt the air leave his lungs as he was thrown to the ground, his body hitting the floor with a jarring thud. Coughing and sputtering Kakashi held up his hands innocently, trying to explain the misconception, but his words fell on deaf ears as he was picked up and dragged along by two burly no-nonsense shinobi.

Tossing his body into a chair like it was a rag doll, the two voiceless thugs secured Kakashi’s hands behind the back of the chair. After his ankles had been bound to each leg of the chair as well, Ao stepped in front of the masked intruder, his stone cold stare beaming straight through the man who was laughing nervously at the whole situation.

"Look… I think there has been a huge misunderstanding. See, I was just-"

"Just trying to what? Creep into the Mizukage’s bedroom? Seems you really are just a pervert, aren’t you, Copy Nin?"

"Well, that is a matter of opinion. But you should know, I had no ill intentions towards Mei."

*SLAP*

"You dare use her first name in my presence, you perverted punk?! You shall address her as Lady Mizukage, unless you feel like losing that tongue of yours” Ao warned, pulling his hand back, satisfied with the harsh hit across the smug leaf ninja’s face.

Accustomed to interrogation and prisoner etiquette, Kakashi barely flinched as the back of Ao’s hand made contact on the curvature of his cheek bone, his exposed eye blinking once before staring back up at the narrowed eye of the other.

"I’m sure you’ll find that Lady Mizukage is rather attached to my tongue, as am I. So if you’ll just hear me out… I’m sure we can all have a good laugh about this.”

*SLAP*

Scoffing at the Copy Nin’s ill attempt at humor, Ao retracted his hand once again, pleased with his hit across the offending mouth. He really had no patience for this man, and was taking his job a little too seriously at this point, smirking down at the other with a sense of superiority.

Still tingly from the last backhand across his face, Kakashi chuckled briefly. Spitting a bit of blood out through his mask, he turned his amused face back towards the man in the eye patch who seemed to be enjoying this.

"I’m not interested in anything you have to say, Hatake. You are trespassing and I should have you dealt with accordingly. You are a long ways from home, so I’m having a hard time believing you just got lost. So save your tired excuses."

"What makes you think I have an excuse? I may have a legitimate reason for being here. Shouldn’t you ask questions first?" Kakashi lilted, a sly smirk hidden beneath his troublesome mask. "Seems they do things a little differently here in Mist.”

Just as Ao pulled his arm back to land another hit, the door opened abruptly and a sharp voice halted his efforts.

"Leave him to me, boys. You’re dismissed."

"Aw, but we were having so much fun together" Kakashi feigned, his glare never leaving Ao’s. He loved the fact that he could see the old man’s nerves unraveling his usually stoic features at the realization that his playtime was over.

As the two giant shinobi made their exit, Ao walked around Kakashi, lowering his head to his ear, making his final threat.

"If you hurt her, Kami-sama as my witness... I shall make you pay."

"Roger that" Kakashi nodded in response to the man’s brash promise, keeping further comments to himself as he heard the him clench his teeth and turn on his heel towards the door.

With the click of the lock, Kakashi’s smile seemed to reappear as Mei sauntered over behind her detainee, slim arms smoothing over his bound shoulders and down the taught expanse of his chest.

"Seems like you’ve gotten yourself into some trouble, Ka-ka-shi" the Mizukage purred, her lips barely grazing the outer shell of his ear.

"Nothing I couldn’t handle, Mizukage-sama" the silver haired jonin disclosed in a gruff tone, his spine straightening as her breath tickled the side of his neck.

With her fingers clawing down his chest, a brief sigh left his lips, his curious eye watching her efforts as a hand ventured down across the front of his pants.

"Oh? It appears you like being tied up and toyed with. Does the great Copy Ninja Kakashi like to play rough?" she suggested, her hand following the curve of his growing erection.

"You have no idea."

"Don’t I?" Mei grinned as she walked around to face the tethered man, her elegant fingers raising his chin to her as they shared a prolonged look of hidden meaning.

Climbing atop Kakashi’s lap, straddling his seated form, green eyes combed over a masked face as she let a finger slip beneath the edge of the black cloth. Slowly sliding it down, the material pooled at the base of Kakashi's neck, revealing his full face for her to enjoy.

"Ao always did hate Leaf ninja… some things never change I guess" Mei pouted, leaning in to lick the remaining drop of blood off his slightly swollen lip.

"Good thing I got here when I did. Any more trouble, and I might not be able to enjoy this handsome face of yours" she teased, biting her bottom lip. “That mouth of yours does seem to get you in an awful lot of trouble.”

"It may get me into trouble, but it is more than capable of getting me out of any trouble I might find myself in” he confessed with a smirk.

The silence built between them, the tension palpable as they sat facing each other, a curious gleam in their eyes as they simultaneously broke down the wall between them. Without tender caresses or whispered sweet nothings, the two were upon each other, their faces colliding together, kisses filled with urgency as they both consumed each other arduously. She, a powerful Kage, and he, an infamous and highly decorated shinobi from another village. It was a thrill they both enjoyed.

In the the throws of their heated exchange, they silently agreed to use each other. They both knew all too well of the risks and irritating pretenses of the dating game, and chose to steer clear of that train wreck waiting to happen. Those were roads too often traveled for their liking, a mutual point they had both made very clear in nights prior.

As the Copy Nin's hands gripped her waist, his fingers digging into her sides pulling her close, he simply chuckled at her surprised gasp.

"Like I said, nothing I couldn’t handle" he chirped, holding up his freed hands that he had released some time ago, making quick work of wriggling his feet free as well.

With an impressed nod, Mei crashed her lips upon his at once, humming delightedly as she felt his tongue slip between her lips, tapping at her own. As the searching muscles danced around, she put up an honorable fight for dominance before submitting to Kakashi’s fixed determination.

With a victorious growl, Kakashi ran his hands under her dress and up the finely toned thighs of the powerful woman atop him, his fingers meeting no resistance as they reached her hips.

"Naughty naughty, Mizukage” he teased, “No panties under this beautiful gown of yours?"

"What for? They only get in the way” she gasped between kisses, “You said so yourself."

"How very true. But let’s not forget why I came tonight, Mei-sama" Kakashi added in the darkest of tones. "We have unfinished business."

"Oh, that? Can’t it just wait until later?”

"No. Now” Kakashi demanded, ignoring her wanton groan as his hands squeezed her firm backside, picking her up as he stood from the chair.

Walking over towards the desk in her office chambers, Kakashi caught her lips once again, not interested in any excuses. He had an objective, and he wasn’t leaving until he completed his mission. He was stubborn and set in his ways, but even more so, he needed this and would not be convinced otherwise. They had both agreed to it.

Setting the Mizukage down upon her own desk, he attacked her neck, kissing and sucking his way down towards her collar bone, ripping the slit open to expose the porcelain skin of her lower half. Loving her mewls and moans wafting over his ear, he felt his blood boil with lust. His hands squeezed over her voluptuous endowments, fingers gripping the laces that were sewn tightly, but barely keeping her inside the dress, and ripping them open. This woman must be his. There was no question about it as he forced her legs open with his tight grip, kissing his way down between her now exposed breasts.

"So much for this dress... it was my favorite, too” she pouted.

“I'd get you another one, but I prefer you naked.”

“Really, Hatake, you ruin everything" she teased between sighs and hums of approval.

"Sign the papers" he countered, taking a pert nipple between his lips, staring into her eyes, awaiting her answer.

"I told you… that can wai-ahh!"

Grabbing her by the waist and flipping the frustrating woman over, Kakashi pressed his pelvis flush against her, holding her down against the desk. Withdrawing the folded papers from his inner vest pocket, the unyielding man leaned down over her back, slamming the document down onto the desk in front of her.

"Sign it, please” he begged, his voice straining behind his teeth.

"Why should I?"

"Because I know you want to... I won’t ask nicely again.”

"Is that a threat, Hatake-san?" her shaky voice questioned, hips impatiently pushing back against Kakashi’s prodding member.

"It’s a promise."

Leaning up, Kakashi let his hands push the dress up, exposing her bare ass as he let his hand come down harshly across one cheek with a loud slap.

"Sign it."

"You are a pushy one, aren’t you?"

With another slap across her other cheek, Kakashi dug his fingers into her flesh, urging her on.

"Ahhh!" her voice cried out at the stinging sensation filling her hind quarters.

"Sign it. Now.”

"But I seemed to have lost my pen…"

Another resounding smack filled the dimly lit room as he spanked her once again, his tingling hand removing a pen from his pocket, placing it on top of the papers in question.

"Sign it. Or I will tease you within an inch of your sanity. Do not test me."

Noting her stillness, Kakashi shook his head in disbelief. So this is how she wanted to play? Allowing a finger to slide down the cleft of her ass, he followed the curve down and around until he reached the sensitive bundle of nerves he was searching for. Lightly grazing the moistened bud between her legs, the weight of his torso pinned her flat against the desk, keeping her jolting body still amid his torture.

"Tsk, tsk. Not so fast. Sign the papers, and this can continue" he cooed, giving his fingers a flick across the swollen bud.

"Mmm...” she whimpered, unable to speak at the moment.

Judging by the lack of vocalization, Kakashi knew he was getting somewhere. Continuing his efforts, he let his finger slip between the slick folds at the apex of her thighs, his diligent digit sliding deep inside her warm cavern, urging her to follow his orders.

"Do it" he growled, his voice low and from the depths of his throat as he tried to coerce her through his ministrations.

Sighing as he removed his hand, he added another finger, before slowly reentering her again, pausing just as he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Sign. The. Fucking. Papers."

"No! Don’t stop..."

Withdrawing his slippery fingers, smirking at the juice that dripped from each fingertip, Kakashi placed them into her mouth, not interested in hearing anything she had to say until her signature graced those pages.

With his free hand, the Hatake freed his own erection from its confines, nudging the head against her flooded entrance, making sure to never let it slip inside as he prodded against her, awaiting the delicious pressure that would engulf him.

"Sign it, and I’ll give you what you really want.”

"Ugh, you dare tease me?!" she yelled around his fingers.

"Who’s teasing? I told you what you have to do. Now do it."

"Fine!" she cried, licking his fingers clean like some sort of starving animal.

Grabbing the pen and signing her name across the blank, she huffed impatiently, "There! You happy now?!"

Smiling victoriously as the happiest man on earth, Kakashi kissed her neck, nudging her once again.

"Why yes I am, Hatake Mei-sama.”

With one swift thrust of his hips, Kakashi entered her fully, buried to the hilt in this woman… his woman. She was officially his now. They now belonged to each other, and only each other. Initially, she had joked about taking his name. But now that she was screaming it, he thought it very befitting.  

Their lewd noises filled the Kage’s private office quarters as Mei gripped onto the desk below her. With every roll of his hips, she felt her body shiver at the sensation of being filled so fully by this man. He was driving her crazy, and she was enjoying every minute of it.

Her panting breath and guttural moans divulged her true state of mind as she felt completely enraptured by the relentless man behind her. She loved that this was what she could now enjoy whenever she desired. Kakashi was not only a generous person, but also a generous lover. He made sure all her needs were met, and knew exactly what buttons she liked pushed.

Every time their bodies connected, the spark between them grew. They soon found themselves thirsting for the other in their absence. Seeing how they currently lived in separate villages in separate countries, their thirst developed into a violent need. It overpowered their senses and could cloud their judgment. As a leader and an elite shinobi, this was not a great side effect of their relationship, but soon that would all change.

Just as he claimed her on paper, he claimed her now. With a few last thrusts, Kakashi emptied his seed deep inside the woman he loved, collapsing on top of her. They felt their bodies melt after their simultaneous release, the exhaustion of orgasm had torn through them, leaving them both drained and sated.

As his vision returned to normal, Kakashi planted kisses along Mei's shoulder, his hands reaching under her, taking a breast in each palm. Kissing his way up to her neck, he smiled against the soft alabaster skin, loving the way her body was still twitching from their exhaustive efforts.

With her breath returning to her, Mei chuckled darkly as she licked the corners of her dry lips. “Well, that was certainly worth the wait.”

“Yes, it sure was” he agreed, wincing as he slipped out of her slowly.

“Aw, is play time over already?” she pouted, shivering at the loss of his body heat, the cool air hitting her exposed backside.

“For now, but I'm not done with you yet” he promised with a devious grin, “Tonight, My Dear, we celebrate.”

After zipping his pants, Kakashi extended a gentlemanly hand, helping Mei stand up from the desk. He chuckled as the rags of her dress fell down around her waist, leaving her chest exposed. The slit was ripped as well, leaving nothing to the imagination, but she was quite the sultry vision in her tattered cerulean silk.

Pursing her lips, the Kage planted both hands on her waist, looking down at her sad excuse of a gown, “What a mess you've made of me.”

Swiping the auburn bangs out of her face, Kakashi leaned forward, kissing her in apology, “You look beautiful.”

“I better, you're stuck with me now.”

“Gladly” he added, lifting her chin and claiming another kiss.

“I hate that you have to go now. When will I see you again, Dear?”

“Anytime you want” he quipped candidly.

“Oh, is that so?”

“Definitely.”

“How so?”

“I've got a little surprise for you.”

Collecting the signed papers from the desk, Kakashi put them in his pocket for safe keeping. Enjoying the confused look on his partner's face, he then retrieved the scroll from his pouch, laying it out across the desk for her to see. Upon the scroll was an intricately woven spiral seal, consisting of braided strands of characters and symbols, with a tied knot of sorts in the center.

“What am I looking at here, Kakashi?”

“It's a special contract I made for us.”

“Contract? But this looks more like a seal.”

“It's a summons. We'll soon be able to summon each other whenever we want. No more waiting. As my wife, whenever you need me, I'll be there.”

“How?” she questioned through a small grin forming on her lips.

“First, like any summons contract, we'll need to supply a blood sample and fingerprints to the center. Be sure to use your left hand for the prints, that will be part of the second step.”

Both bit their thumb, as they dripped blood over the knot in the center of the seal. Just beneath, they stamped their left hand prints, effectively signing the contract and sealing their bond for life.

“Now what?”

“Now, for step two” Kakashi smirked.

Centering himself in front of the scroll, Kakashi went through the tedious chain of never ending hand seals the contract required. With all the precision of a proficient fuinjutsu user, Kakashi made such a feat look relatively simple. After he made the last seal, he grabbed Mei's left hand, extending both of their hands over the contract.

“This may sting a little” he warned, “But it'll be worth it.”

Right before their eyes, small bands of the black characters appeared upon their left ring fingers. Slowly, but surely, the braided pattern of symbols was burned into their flesh. The sizzle of their skin was minimal, and even though it was more than a little sting, it wasn't any more than either of these seasoned shinobi could handle. After the burning stopped, the seals around their fingers glowed red, before fading to black.

It was done.

“Now,” Kakashi began, kissing the seal on her finger, “We can see each other whenever we please.”

“So, no more waiting?”

“Nope... and no more getting picked on by your body guards, either.”

“Now that, I can not help. You really do rub Ao the wrong way, Kakashi-kun” Mei laughed, kissing him generously.

“I guess the man was just doing his job and didn't know any better. I can appreciate that. Are you ever going to tell them who I am to you now, Dear?”

“Well,” she sighed sarcastically, “I guess you leave me no choice.”

They held each other closely, admiring the new tattoos on their finger. It symbolized their union, and neither of them cared if anyone knew about it now. As shinobi, they knew all too well the target that would be placed on the back of the one you loved most, but they were both more than capable of handling their own. No one dare stood a chance if they were to come between them and their bond now. It was written in blood, and could not be broken.

Their celebratory evening had indeed been fun and full of surprises, but as dawn broke, it was time to say goodbye. Mei tried to hold up the pieces of her torn dress as they walked shoulder to shoulder down the hall of her living quarters towards the open window at the end. Kakashi jumped up on the window sill, turning around to claim one last kiss before he began his journey home.

They were both exhausted, haggard in appearance, and in desperate need of sleep... but it was worth it. Blowing him a kiss, Mei watched in awe as Kakashi swiftly departed, missing the calls of her guards as they ran down the hall to her side, her appearance having caused them to worry.

“M-Mizukage-sama... are you o-okay?” Chojuro stammered, wielding his sword, ready to strike.

“Mei-sama, what did that bastard do to you? I'll kill him!” Ao blurted in a blind rage.

“No need, boys” Mei grinned, “That bastard is my husband.”

Laughing aloud, Mei slipped behind her bedroom doors, leaving her guards frozen in shock out in the hallway. They would definitely need a few minutes to process her last words judging by their dropped jaws and twitching eyes. She had other plans in mind though. She slipped out of the remains of her dress, discarding it on the floor and laid across her bed.

Lifting her hand, she admired the new tattoo once more, loving the mark they had left upon each other. She was missing him already, and this would not do. She was a newlywed after all, and as such, should be celebrating.

Biting her thumb, smearing the bead of blood across the black band upon her finger, she uttered the magic words. In a poof of smoke, Kakashi appeared before her, grinning beneath that ever present mask of his.

“Honey, I'm home!”  

[raendown]

What a way to celebrate Tobirama’s birthday. xD 

Pairing: None Word count: 4022 Chapter: 3/4 Rated: T+ Summary: Months after the village is built Izuna is near his breaking point. Peace is nice, don’t get him wrong, but he could do without the pale shadow that follows behind him everywhere he goes. All he wants is to understand. What the hell is Tobirama’s obsession with watching him?

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

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Chapter 3

As a child Izuna can remember his mother teaching him a method of meditating on his own breathing pattern in an attempt to rein in his temper. It had worked to some extent then. At the moment he finds himself having much more limited success. It wouldn’t be so bad if his unwanted mission partner would only travel beside him but no matter what speed they move at somehow Tobirama always ends up just a step or two behind and it’s driving him absolutely wild.

“Have you tried some sort of rewards system?”

“Different ones, yes.”

Even worse still is that they have managed to keep up a semblance of amicable conversation for nearly the entire journey as if there is nothing more between them but the fact that their brothers are friends. Tobirama’s voice carries no hint of aggression, no undue curiosity, and there are certainly no hints of any romantic endeavors. At some point they find themselves on the topic of a child in the Uchiha clan who doesn’t pay even half the attention he should to his lessons and Izuna is vaguely surprised that his companion’s interest seems to be more for the boy than for him.

“Behavioral based or progression based?”

“What’s the difference?”

“If the child feels he is unable to obtain whatever goals have been set for him then he may not feel motivated even by the promise of a reward.”

Listening to him speak in such a bland tone leaves Izuna confused. He isn’t sure whether the man is trying to pretend his weird stalking isn’t happening or if he is merely striving for a bit of normalcy while they are forced to travel together but either way the efforts are pointless. It‘s impossible to pretend that everything is normal while Tobirama refuses to actually walk beside him.

“Huh, I never thought of it like that,” he murmurs, willing to keep the conversation up if only so he isn’t traveling in silence with an old enemy standing just behind his unprotected back. “We’ve tried to do it like that and we’ve tried to bribe him with sweets for even just showing up every day – I swear every tooth in his head is a sweet one. Nothing works.”

While his companion hums thoughtfully Izuna tries to remember if there are any other methods they have used to try and convince little Kagami to take his training more seriously. The little tyke has so much potential. Such a shame that he insists on wasting it all. If he had some other interest or passion that he were trying to pursue instead Izuna might understand, not all of their clan members are fighters after all, but at times it feels as though Kagami seems determined to simply never grow up.

A pause in the steps behind him catches his attention and Izuna turns to see that Tobirama has gone stiff, his head turned away, eyes narrowed where they stare in to the middle distance off east. Instinctively Izuna turns to look that way as well only to realize that Tobirama probably isn’t actually looking with his eyes.

“Three inbound at high speeds. Feels like Kaminari no Kuni shinobi.”

“Gods, how powerful is your sensing?” Izuna grumbles, loosening his sword in its sheath.

“More than I ever allowed the Uchiha to discover.” Tobirama’s gaze flicks over towards him and there is something dark hidden there before he looks away. “An oversight, perhaps, that I have not seen fit to share my true abilities with our new allies.”

“Right. Let’s take care of this and then we’re having a nice long conversation on exactly what you’re capable of.”

Before there is time for any sort of reply their new company arrives, flitting in to the treetops above them and pausing to assess the situation. Izuna takes a good grip on the handle of his favorite sword, tightening his fingers one by one, counting breaths just as his mother taught him.

In, out, one. Three opponents, one male and two female.

In, out, two. A sword glimmers in the hand of one female, something heavy and club like in the hands of the male, close combat fighters.

In, out, three. Large chakra stores burn almost tangibly in the air around the third, clearly a distance fighter, he will need to keep an eye out for whatever jutsu she has up her sleeve.

He never gets to four breaths. From behind him Tobirama explodes in to motion, charging the woman nearly bursting at the seams with her own chakra. A low hiss cuts the air just before the man leaps in to defend his companion. Izuna rolls his shoulders and acknowledges that he has been left to face the woman bearing a sword to match his own, the perfect opponent. Out of all the spars he has enjoyed with many and varied people since moving to Konoha very few of them have been able to match his skill with a blade enough to offer a proper challenge. In a strange way he almost misses his battles with the man he is currently fighting alongside if only because he worries that without Tobirama to face he might lose his edge.

Sparks leap between their weapons and Izuna realizes that he has moved out of habit without even consciously deciding to, sword leaping to hand and meeting the one aiming for his neck. For a single heartbeat they struggle, brute strength against brute strength, then the woman twists and dodges back once she realizes that his bulk outweighs her own. Rather than allow her the time to think up another angle of attack Izuna hefts his sword and watches her respond with a snarl of frustration. Good. That means she is off balance and an opponent who has no time to think is an opponent he can easily beat.

Only sharp reflexes stop his blade from cutting through the wrong flesh, pulling up a mere instant before he would have pierced Tobirama through the side as his mission partner suddenly appears between them to deflect his opponent’s blade. Then he is skipping away again with a snarl of his own. Izuna floods his eyes with chakra just to take in the expression of something almost like desperation on the man’s face. His reputation being what it is, revealing his greatest battle advantage has the added benefit of causing his opponent to hesitate. Not many people who know what it can do are stupid enough to attack an active Sharingan straight on and Izuna is oddly glad to see that his opponent is not stupid. Easy kills are no fun.

As Tobirama is pressed back by his own two assailants Izuna rushes in to keep this one busy. He can’t afford to let her find her bearings; he learned the hard way when he was younger to never underestimate how many tricks your opponent might have up their sleeve. She might seem like her skills barely match his own but he has no way of knowing what tricks or seals or the like she might pull out at a moment’s notice.

Neither does he have a chance to find out, as it happens. Each time their clash looks as though it might be about to get interesting Tobirama appears between them. At first Izuna accepts that he simply needs to dodge quite a lot while trying to face a long range and a short range fighter at the same time; keeping up with two different styles means keeping on your toes. It isn’t until his Sharingan focuses in on the pair chasing his partner around the field that he realizes both of them are downright ragged looking. One bleeds from several places and the other looks just on the verge of an asthmatic attack so out of breath are they. In contrast Tobirama looks tense yet still in good condition.

So if it’s Tobirama that is leading them around by the nose rather than the one getting chased why on earth does he keep dashing in between Izuna and his own kill? There’s a whole forest here to move around in.

Annoying as it is, the trained shinobi in his soul can’t help but admire how quickly Tobirama moves from place to place, how seamlessly he manages to insert himself just in time to deflect whatever attack Izuna is about to meet and then dance away again as though he’d never been there. Whatever else he is there can be no denying that he’s a skilled fighter. The problem is trying to figure out what the hell he is up to.

It simply doesn’t make sense, Izuna thinks as he takes his opportunity to bull in close and drive the woman back with a rapid flurry of attacks. Weeks and months of stalking that Izuna has been interpreting as some lingering form of aggression. Now suddenly the man is jumping in front of him in battle. Has he been making observations leading him to the conclusion that Izuna’s skills have diminished somehow? That certainly makes more sense than the ridiculous rumors of forbidden love, although it’s also wildly more insulting. Yet even that theory includes enough gaping holes that he can’t quite believe it either.

By the time Izuna finds an opening to drive his blade through his opponent’s neck and watch her gurgle out her last curses on the forest floor he is equal parts curious and livid. Tobirama dispatches of his own two assailants only a moment later as though he has merely been playing with them as some morbid excuse to remain occupied. He waits just long enough to clean his sword and slide it back in to the scabbard across his back, then Izuna is marching across the torn clearing to take the collar of his old rival’s armor and drag them face to face, oddly unsurprised that he is allowed to do so with no resistance.

“What the fuck is your problem?” he growls. “I’m not so softened by this stupid dream of our brothers’ that I’ve forgotten how to defend myself! I had that covered!”

“Your skill was never in question,” Tobirama murmurs. He looks entirely calm, unruffled, and that only irritates Izuna further.

“It sure as hell feels questioned with you babying me like some genin out on their first run! If you think I need to polish a few things then say it to my face, damn it, quit treating me with kid gloves! I didn’t need it back home and I don’t need it here!”

Composed as he ever is, Tobirama fails to react in any satisfying sort of way. He fails to so much as blink while Izuna screams in his face but there is one thing to be gained from overreacting. From this close – perhaps the first time they have ever been so close outside of battle – it is plain to see the well of something dark and deep in those red eyes so like the Sharingan, something that brings ice crawling up Izuna’s spine though he can’t yet define what it is. It’s enough to snap his jaw shut and make him step away to watch quietly as Tobirama turns, murmuring again that they should press on to their destination.

An uncomfortable mixture of anger and confusion with shades of worry twists itself into knots inside Izuna’s belly, keeping his mouth shut for the rest of their mission, speaking only when it is absolutely necessary. On the journey home he can feel the back of his neck itching with Tobirama’s eyes almost every step of the way but he holds his tongue for fear of what else he might see in that unwavering gaze.

When they make it back to the village the first thing they do is make their report to Hashirama, of course. Madara joins them and together they remain sequestered for over an hour discussing the results of their goodwill efforts. Despite his attempts to appear nonchalant Izuna is fairly sure the clan they were visiting with had noticed some tensions between himself and Tobirama but in a strange way it had actually worked out in their favor as their hosts seemed to be impressed with how well they function together anyway. Talking about that without making a big deal of why exactly there had been some friction in their unity is difficult. Izuna is more than glad when finally they have said all there is to say for now and he is able to drag his brother off towards home.

Madara puts up a good act of wanting to stay and finish his work. He fools no one. Not even his workaholic tendencies are enough to keep him from spending a bit of quality time with his favorite sibling – although Izuna does notice the man tucking a few scrolls in to his sleeve before they depart. It gets him out the door, however, so no comments are made until finally they are making their way through the gate leading in to the Uchiha district.

“I can’t figure out his angle,” he blurts, too eager for another’s opinion to bother with context.

“Who, Hashirama?”

“No! Don’t be an idiot, that tree is as transparent as glass with his intentions. I mean his gods damned brother!”

Humming contemplatively, Madara pulls a bit of hair forward to fiddle with. “Wouldn’t having him forced to travel with you sort of negate the stalking? I know you didn’t want him along but I thought it would be nice for you to at least drag him out of the shadows.”

Rather tempted to pull at his own hair, Izuna takes several breaths and counts them before he is able to form a reply through the flash of temper.

Thankfully his brother has the good grace not to interrupt as he recounts everything that’s happened while he was away. His description of the way Tobirama seemed to constantly find his way between Izuna and his opponent during their battle brings a crease to Madara's brow that only deepens as the story goes on. Slowly making their way up one of the side streets, a shortcut towards their home, he tosses the chunk of hair he is playing with back over his shoulder only to grab another and start again.

“Strange,” he rumbles. “Very strange. I honestly have no idea what the hell this is all about.”

“I know that it’s ridiculous but I just need to hear someone else say this out loud: please tell me it’s not plausible that he’s actually fallen in love with me somehow.”

“Plausible, technically yes. Probable, a very strong no.”

“Oh thank the gods.” Izuna slumps with relief to finally have another confirm his thoughts.

After rolling his eyes Madara slips right back in to thoughtfulness. “There’s something about this that just doesn’t quite sit with me the right way. I know it would make the most sense to say that he still doesn’t trust you, that he’s been following you to keep a close watch or whatever, but for some reason I just can’t make myself believe that. There’s no other evidence of that in any other behavior.”

“Yes, thanks, I didn’t quite notice that for myself.”

“If that’s how you’re going to behave then I don’t see why you started talking about it! Go jabber at someone else if you’re just going to be all snooty about whatever I have to say!” With a sniff Madara turns up his nose and quickens his steps.

While Izuna isn’t entirely sure how he ends up being left alone outside he isn’t all that surprised either. The two of them share like tempers after all. Madara is as given to hissy fits as he himself can freely admit to being. He follows behind at a slower pace and lets himself in to the home they share, nodding at the shoes kicked off haphazardly at just the right spot where they might trip him up if he weren’t already expecting to see them there.

Madara is angrily plugging in their fancy new electric kettle when he enters the kitchen and slumps down in to the closest chair, blowing out his fringe with exasperation.

“Done being a baby?” he asks bluntly. Madara crinkles his nose.

“Fuck you.”

“You’re still thinking about it. I can practically see the gears turning in your head.”

His brother pauses in the act of pulling down two cups with the continuing thoughts he doesn’t bother to deny spilling out over his face. “Obviously I am. I keep trying to think of some other reason he might be doing this but nothing comes to mind. If it’s not that he doesn’t trust you and it’s not that he has some sort of romantic whatever–”

“Kami please no,” Izuna interrupts with a shudder.

“–then he clearly has some other special interest in you but I am honestly stumped. If it were almost anyone else I might go so far as jealousy except the two of you have always been so closely matched that I can’t see either being jealous of the other.” Madara jolts himself in to movement again, reaching for the tea leaves, but continues speaking even as he measures them out. “I would have considered that he was trying to learn something specific about you too but for the fact that he hasn’t been shy about asking for any other information he’s wanted on our clan.”

“Which is a lot of information, actually.”

“Hm. I guess. No more than we’ve asked from the others, though, and nothing that he’s asked for has been any more suspicious or invasive than the things we’ve asked about the Senju in turn.”

Izuna rattles his nails against the hardwood table. “Do you think that could be it? Maybe there’s something he wants to find out but it’s inappropriate or he knows we won’t want to share whatever information he’s after.”

He waits with as much patience as he can muster while the other tosses that idea around but even as he speaks the words Izuna himself realizes that probably isn’t it either. Tobirama might be a sneaky bastard on the battlefield and more than capable of subterfuge when it’s necessary during a mission but in daily life he has shown himself to prefer as direct a route as possible to whatever goal he has in his sights. Finally Madara pushes both teacups towards the kettle and leaves it to boil as he comes over to sit at the table.

“No,” his brother says. “That just doesn’t sound right either. And the worst part is that I can’t say why it doesn’t sound right. It feels like there’s something nagging at the back of my brain, something important that I’ve forgotten. Like a missing piece of the puzzle.”

“Would your friend know anything do you think?”

Madara blinks. “Hashirama? He might. It would be worth asking if he’s got any idea what crawled up his brother’s ass.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be going over to their house for dinner tomorrow night?” Izuna rattles his fingers again but this time it is less with frustration and more to express the satisfaction of the stars aligning just for him. He is further pleased to see his sibling lean back with widening eyes.

“I am going to dinner, yes. He asked me over because both Tobirama and Mito are supposed to be busy and he wanted company. We’ll be all alone.”

“You couldn’t wish for a better opportunity to ask a few questions,” Izuna purrs with satisfaction.

When the kettle begins to whistle they turn the conversation towards other things. Spending time together after being apart – even if for so short a time – is only one of the ways they maintain such a tight bond between them. Even here in another home the shadows of the siblings they have lost echo around every corner, chased away only by the warmth of knowing that Madara will always stand beside him against whatever the world might choose to throw at them.

After a while, however, he finds other thoughts wriggling in, thoughts that Izuna knows he is above and yet he can’t seem to push them away without addressing them. Tracing the rim of his nearly empty cup gives him something else to look at as he fills the lull that has fallen naturally in their conversation.

“Can I ask you something?” He waits for the curious grunt before going on. “Why don’t you seem more worried about this whole Tobirama situation?”

“What do you mean?”

“If there was someone following you around all the time I think I’d be a lot more freaked out about it than you seem to be. Not that I’m angry or making any accusations! It’s just…odd. You’re usually so overprotective it’s hard for me to even flirt with anyone.”

“Hn.” Madara bunches his brows together as though mildly offended by the insinuation that he might not care. “I guess I just don’t feel any ill intentions from him. Something in my gut tells me that he hasn’t got anything bad up his sleeve. The way he interacts with you – hell, the way he interacts with all the rest of our clan – I just can’t bring myself to believe that he’s after anything terrible. I guess I was just unconsciously acknowledging that I don’t believe you’re in any sort of danger.”

Somehow that only increases the dread pooling in Izuna’s gut.

“If he doesn’t have any bad intentions then the kami only know what else he could have in that twisted brain of his. Ancestors watch over me.”

While his brother snorts and gently teases him for being so dramatic Izuna lets the words drift by him without actually listening. The entire reason he’s been wanting to go out on a mission is to get away from this situation with his old rival and just clear his mind a bit. Now that he’s been denied that opportunity and come home only more confused in the aftermath he realizes more than ever that he needs a night to just relax, to let everything else fade away until his mind is empty of all worries. And what better way to achieve that then a night on the town with someone he can trust to be entirely disinterested in whatever drama he’s gotten himself embroiled in this time?

“You gonna be okay on your own tonight?” he cuts in through whatever the other is saying. “I think I’ll go see if I can drag Hikaku down to one of the taverns for a few hours.”

“Don’t you have work to catch up on tomorrow?” Madara asks.

“I’m not going to get drunk or anything, don’t worry, I’m not that stupid. Just thought it would be nice to unwind for a while.”

Even as he nods understandingly Madara puts one hand to his chest and exclaims in dramatic fashion, “Because you’re just so stressed with all the work you do, of course. Helping to run a village, keeping both eyes on a walking tree, achieving your lifelong dreams. Oh no wait, that’s me.”

“Fuck off,” Izuna calls cheerfully over his shoulder as he makes his way out of the room, deliberately leaving the teacup behind for the other to clean up after him. Pettiness is just another family trait.

With any luck Hikaku will be as willing to indulge him as his aniki is. Izuna reaches back to pull the tie from his hair and run his fingers through it. Perhaps a bath is in order first to wash the dirt of the road away, he probably still smells like the rivers they’ve been trudging through. Unpacking can wait for tomorrow. If his cousin doesn’t want to come out then he fully intends to bully his way in to the other man’s home and find something there to help him get his mind off of things. Tobirama can remain a problem for another day just once more.

Tomorrow his brother will speak with Hashirama and ask their questions. Tomorrow, he hopes, they will have answers.

[mimi-love-4ever]

Burn

SasuSaku Month 2018 - Day 4: Burn

Rating: T

Context: A little non-canon compliant.

A/N: This is a continuation of Day 3 (and part 2). Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it!

“I still can't believe you're back, teme!” Naruto clapped him on the back excitedly. “You've missed so much!”

After another meeting with Kakashi regarding his reinstatement as a full Konoha shinobi, Naruto insisted he come along and train with the rest of Team 7. An offer Kakashi insisted he shouldn't pass up so now he was being dragged away by the blond jinchuriki and his motor mouth. Something’s never changed. As they walked by, people openly stared and whispered about his return. It used to bother him but now he was able to ignore them, except for the occasional giggling he knew was directed at him. That, that did bother him.

“So is it true?” Naruto asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“What?” He took one look at Naruto’s wide, smiling face and narrowed his eyes.

“That you're staying with Sa-ku-ra-chan?”

He had half a mind to knock the smile right off his whiskered face. He could literally see the indecent thoughts rolling around in that empty brain of his and while Naruto knowing of his sleeping arrangements hardly bothered him, the way he said it was another story. He wanted Sakura, but he certainly wasn't about to announce his intentions to the whole nosy village. One nosy blonde was enough.

“Aa,” he replied shortly and began to walk faster towards the training ground, leaving said nosy blonde behind with a semi shocked expression and mouth open.

“Well good,” Naruto surprised him by saying as soon as he caught up. “She works too much and barely takes care of herself, perhaps a roommate will be good for her. An actual good roommate.”

That last remark bothered him.

“You sound like she's had a lot of roommates,” he retorted.

Naruto shrugged. “A couple. They were all assholes, honestly.”

He frowned. The thought of Sakura living with another person - man - made him uncomfortable. No, not uncomfortable; jealous. It made him jealous. The realization stumped him for he had never felt jealousy quite like this. A deep, possessive feeling nestled at the pit of his stomach that made him curse any man who came within proximity of the pink-haired beauty. He shook those thoughts away as they reached the training grounds. Naruto quickly made his way over to a figure sitting under a tree, drawing it seemed.

Sai, he remembered his name to be. The one who had replaced him in Team 7 after he defected.

“Hey Sai!” Naruto grinned. “Is Yamato-taichou coming?”

“Hello Dickless,” Sai greeted Naruto. “I do believe he is coming later.”

Naruto grumbled at the nickname. “Fine, what about Sakura-chan?”

Before Sai could answer, Sasuke felt a familiar chakra presence approach them. A second later, she appeared in front of them and give them all a radiant smile. Although her eyes expressed just how tired she was, she looked happy to be there. Her hair was held up by a pen and she was still in her white lab coat. She dropped the messenger bag she had been carrying next to the tree with Sai’s art supplies and turned back to them.

“Sorry I'm late,” she grinned. “Shinobi can't seem to stay out of trouble.”

She unbuttoned her coat, revealing a familiar red dress and dropped it down on top of her bag. She took the pen out of her hair too and gave her hair a little shake. It tumbled in waves down to almost the middle of her back and framed her flushed face nicely.

“I'm pretty sure they're just there to see you,” Naruto piped in with a small teasing laugh. “Who can resist Nurse Sakura?”

Sasuke frowned slightly while Sakura smirked. She poked Naruto in the chest. “That's Doctor Haruno to you.”

“Ow,” whined Naruto, massaging his chest. “I'm training with Sai today. Later.”

Without another word, Naruto dragged Sai to the other side of the training ground and left the two alone. Sasuke stared at his retreating back and wondered if he could get away with sticking a couple of kunai up his ass. He knew the dobe was up to something. He turned back to Sakura and found her stretching casually, unbothered by Naruto’s sudden departure. He cleared his throat as he almost found himself staring at her and unclasped his black cloak from around his neck. It was an unusually hot day for this late in the summer.

“How'd your meeting with Kakashi-sensei go?” Sakura asked breaking their silence.

“Fine,” he answered. “There should be no trouble getting reinstated.”

“I'm glad,” she smiled. He couldn't help but be surprised at how genuine her smile was. Her eyes were shining brightly, causing a small flutter in the pit of his stomach.

He had to look away at the sudden emotions flooding his senses, unsure of how to handle them properly. He was too wrapped up in getting a handle on himself that he was caught off guard when he heard the sound of a zipper. He turned to the noise and froze completely when he saw Sakura slipping off her red dress, leaving her in a red sports bra and black shorts. He was entranced in the image that was Sakura.

The only thing he could think of was that she certainly was not the girl he remembered. And he had no problem with that. He was yearning to know this Sakura. The mere thought of it thrilled him. Sasuke found a sliver of desire burning hotter and hotter as he began to notice little things about this new Sakura he was getting to know.

“How about we start with taijutsu?” She asked, fishing some black gloves out of her bag. “It's been awhile since we've trained together, after all.”

“Hn.” Was his only reply before he dropped his kusanagi next to her things and came right at her.

Sakura prepared herself and met him head on. Sasuke had always been the more proficient fighter in the past, but now she was determined to give him a fight, and Sasuke saw that. He was testing the waters, so to speak, and had to quickly pick up his game. Sakura was relentless and met him at every turn until soon she was incorporating chakra into her punches and kicks.

Watching her fight was like watching a dance. She was precise and lithe and graceful. It was truly a sight to see. He let out another smirk as he took in the competitiveness in her eyes and found himself wanting to see what else she could do. At least, that was his plan until she feigned a punch to his chest and the next thing he knew, his legs were kicked out from under him and he landed roughly on his back. He lay on the ground unsure of what just happened until Sakura’s flushed face appeared in his line of vision. She stared down at him, laughing at the confusion on his face and smiled smugly.

“Not too bad, Uchiha,” she teased, taking pleasure in watching him glare up at her.

She offered him her hand and was surprised when he actually took it. However, as soon as she did, she found herself being tugged down to the ground. She gasped in shock and tried escaping his hold but only ended up in an awkward position of Sasuke on top of her and pinning her hands above her head. She noted wryly how even with one arm, he managed to subdue her easily.

“Yes, not too bad, Haruno,” smirked Sasuke. His pride wouldn't let her get the best of him and it wouldn't hurt to tease her a bit.

She pouted for a moment before realizing he was teasing her. It was unexpected but two could play that game. “You always did like to be on top.”

The innuendo wasn't lost on him at all. Sakura had never been one to be coy, mostly because of her schoolgirl crush, but this Sakura wasn't afraid to speak her mind and go against him. She certainly wasn't afraid to spar with him and with that fearlessness, she captivated him even more.

“I think you like it that way.”

Instead of responding with a witty remark, Sakura hooked her legs and wrapped them around his neck tightly before jerking him backwards. Once her hands were free she lifted herself off the ground and pushed against Sasuke until he was firmly trapped beneath her. She let out a wide smile and leaned down until their noses were almost touching.

“I guess you'll have to find out what I really like, won't you, Sasuke?” Her warm breath fanned across his cheek and sent a shiver down his spine.

She was so close, closer than she had ever been, and that was beginning to affect him. The fact that she was on top of him, flushed cheeks, slight panting and sweating, was beginning to register in his mind. Her hair was wild and tousled and he wondered just how soft it would feel like between his fingertips. He was tempted to find out until a drop of sweat caught his eye. He followed it as it slowly slid down from her temple and leisurely made its way down her neck then to the valley between her breasts until it was out of sight.

He was so close to losing his self control and kissing the living daylights out of Sakura when suddenly someone cleared their throat rather loudly and snapped him out of his thoughts. Both looked up towards the sound, startled, and then Sakura smiled. She lifted herself off of Sasuke’s chest and caught the newcomer in a light hug.

“Yamato-taichou!”

Sakura began chatting away pleasantly while he composed himself the best he could and picked himself off of the ground with all the dignity of an Uchiha. He took the opportunity to clean himself up a bit and saw that Naruto and Sai were making their way over to them. He should have expected trouble when he caught sight of Naruto’s ear-to-ear grin, but it wasn't until Sai spoke that he wondered how opposed the village would be to murder.

“So this is what it means to have sex with clothes on, yes?”

Naruto’s jaw dropped. Yamato choked on air. Sai smiled cluelessly. Sakura simply waggled her eyebrows at him in an almost teasing way before proceeding to punch her teammate. Sasuke watched in satisfaction as Sakura’s cheeks puffed in indignation, and embarrassment. The rest watched as Sai landed in a patch of water yards away.

[writingpromptswithkate]

Two Moons Are Better Than One

Part VI.

So...he was dead, right? He had to be dead.

He was floating, for one thing. It felt like he was floating directly over his body, with his feet still sort of anchored to himself; but it looked like he was looking at the planet Earth from outer space.

Nate tried to take a step. His foot felt like it weighed very little, and yet it was tethered by elastic band to...something. He could lift his foot, no problem, but he could not move it anywhere to set it down again. There was no walking, wherever he was.

And wherever he was, it had to be Hell, right? There was no fire or brimstone, but neither were there any pearly gates. A big black empty nothingness looking at the Earth from afar: that was much more hellish than heavenly.

Maybe it was one of those in-between places: Purgatory or Limbo, or Tartarus.

The thing is: Nate could not remember for anything how he had died. He remembered getting shot. But that had been in the leg; surely that had not killed him?

Wait, he had been punched in the head, and that could have done it. Scott was a big man.

There was something peaceful about this place. Maybe there were no angels on fluffy clouds, but Nate felt well rested, and that had to be a feeling from Heaven.

And the Earth looked so still from this distance. So smooth. Like there wasn’t a single bad thing going on in it. No wars, no men in suits hoarding all the money, certainly no apocalypse-level events driving everyone crazy. From up here, up here on the moon, Nate realized with a start, the Earth looked so...clean.

Nate looked to his left, and nearly fell over himself.

There was the second moon. It was so much closer, so much bigger. Its bright silver surface matched the soil under Nate’s feet, and he was seized with a sudden panic. Which of these moons was the real moon, and which the imposter? What if he was standing on the fake moon after all?

Keep it together, Nate. Keep calm.

What did it really matter which moon he was on? He was on the moon!

You’re not dead. Dead people don’t go to the moon. Maybe you’re dreaming but you’re not dead.

And if he was not dead, maybe he could get back to Earth.

Why go back? Why go back to all that pain and madness? You could stay here, Nate.

Stay here? Where did that come from? Nate thought he was just thinking to himself, but that thought was not his.

Had any of those thoughts been his? They seemed so him-like at the time.

Calm down, Nate—

“Don’t tell me to calm down!”

...That’s exactly what Scott said.

“No...” but Nate was lying to himself there. He remembered what Scott had said. Then he remembered what Scott had done. Nate felt sick.

“Who are you? Why am I here?”

Why are any of us here?

“Are there more of you, or was that just philosophy?”

The thought that answered Nate was not in words, but in feeling. Roughly translated, the feeling was I don’t understand what you mean by more.

Then, what more could you ask for? We are already all.

“What the fuck does that mean?”

Calm down, Nathan. Don’t distress yourself.

Nate made a concerted effort to cool his temper before replying. “I just want answers. I want to know why things are so messed up on Earth. Why all those people had to die.”

The same feeling of confusion broke against his mental space. You answered your own question. The Earth was, as you put it, messed up, already. Humans did it. Now humans must pay their debts. It will end when balance is restored.

“That’s bullshit. How does killing everyone restore balance? What about the people trying to save the planet?”

Humans cannot save this planet. Humans can only consume and destroy it.

“Why do you even care what we do to this planet? I don’t want the Earth destroyed either, but shouldn’t we humans get to be the ones making that decision? We’re the native species here, not you!”

A thunderous rumble rolled through Nate’s head and brought him to his knees. It was like a chuckle from the throat of God.

You think so?

The pain in Nate’s head would not let him answer. His vision was become blurry around the edges. He turned his gaze back toward Earth. Toward home.

Dawn was just breaking over the Sierra Nevada ridge. Nate could almost see the colors as they turned from grey to peach to blue. He could almost hear Alex and Hannah’s voices.

Nate’s vision blacked out completely. In return, the voices became much clearer.

“—before data cut off was that Air Force One went down. They’re pretty sure the President is dead.” That was Hannah’s voice for sure.

Alex was in the same room but further away. “At least one good thing came of all this.”

“I’d take the President back if it meant I could have my parents too.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry Hannah.”

Hannah didn’t say anything but she made a little noise like mm-hmm.

Alex tried to change the subject. “Hey, I’ve never thought to ask before: is it offensive when we say Jesus or God around you?”

“Nope, not at all. Invoke the name of your savior, or take his name in vain, it doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“So when you say things like ‘oh my Goddess’, which Goddess is that?”

“Mother Earth. The Greeks called her Gaia.”

“Is that why you collect crystals?”

Hannah chuckled. “The Earth Mother has power; the crystals are part of her; they channel her energy. Take this one, for example.” There was the sound of a zipper, a rustle of paper and fabric. “The rose quartz. This one channels compassion.”

“Since when is the Earth compassionate?” Alex sounded skeptical.

“She’s not all the time. Earthquakes and volcanoes and rockslides are all terrifying and brutal. But she also gives us soil to grow our food in. She nourishes us, gives us life. Isn’t that compassion?”

“I see...” she sounded like she did not quite see. “You were just carrying that around in your backpack?”

“No. Nate put it there.”

“Why in the world...? I didn’t think he believed in any of that.”

“I don’t know.” Hannah was quiet, thoughtful. “He was going through the house. Looking for supplies. He knew to grab my Book of Shadows. Maybe he was trying to send a message with this...”

“I’m sorry, your book of what now?”

“Book of Shadows. My spellbook. It was on my altar next to my favorite crystals.”

Nate dimly recalled the spiral notebook he had thought was a much-used diary. Part of him wanted to get up and insist that he had no idea what it was and that he had no intentions of sending encoded messages. The other part of him sort of wanted to see where Hannah was going with this.

“Why the rose quartz?” she muttered to herself.

“What did you say rose quartz was for? Compassion?”

“Compassion, healing, nurturing. Basically all expressions of love. It’s spiritually connected to the heart chakra.”

“If we live through this you’ll have to explain properly what a chakra is. Anyway, I think if he was trying to send a message, the simplest one would be that he loves you.”

“That would be the simplest but that doesn’t mean it’s correct,” Hannah said.

Meanwhile what Nate was thinking was: no, the simplest answer is I have no idea what your rocks mean, I just thought you’d like it.

Getting her a rock just because she’d like it was an act of compassion though, so at least his choice was thematically on point.

Nate thought it would be a bad idea to “wake up” while they were talking about him, so he waited until Alex asked something about the state of their supplies and Hannah said she would go and check. He “woke up” shortly after he heard the door to the break room open and close.

“Rise and shine, buddy,” Alex greeted him. “Good to see you didn’t die after all.”

Nate groaned and pushed himself up. He was embedded in a nest made of most of the blankets they had brought, so the task was easier said than done.

“What happened?” he asked.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Um. Scott punching me in the head.”

“Ah. Okay.” Alex straightened herself up. She was leaning against one of the desks. Her jacket was on but the sleeves were pushed up, her hands were dirty, and she had a blanket of her own around her shoulders. Her hair, though short, looked a complete mess. “I brought a gun with me from home. I figured, what if looters show up? We should have some protection. I was looking for a place out of the way to stow it when I heard you and Scott start fighting.

“It’s not that I really wanted to kill Scott. He’s argumentative but he never seemed like a bad person. But I saw him hit you, and I heard what he said about Hannah, and I figured he’d gone crazy and couldn’t be reasoned with. So I shot at him. I’m really sorry I hit you, man. Good news, though: it was a complete graze, no bullet in you, no bone damage that I can tell. Meat only.”

At this, Nate looked down at his leg. Alex had applied a field dressing of sorts. The hem of his boxers on the left side was caked with dried blood.

“Where are my pants?”

“On the chair over there. We had to get them off you to dress the wound...” Nate followed the line of Alex’s pointing until he spotted his jeans. He could tell they were heavily bloodstained because the right leg was blue and the left leg was black. Nate was relieved to discover that all the blood was what had made his pants feel warm before. He had not wet himself after all. Small miracles.

“After Scott pushed you down I had a clear shot. I took it. Scott’s dead. I dragged him out back after we were done taking care of you. Hannah’s gone through almost all the bleach in the closet trying to get the stains out of the break room floor.”

“Now that you mention it I can smell the bleach. How is she venting it?”

“We’ve got the door propped open and we opened the front windows. We didn’t want to use the generator to run A/C.”

“Good call. I’m sorry you had to do that. To Scott I mean.” Nate was not sorry that Alex saved his life, but the rest of it, yes.

“Me too. But he wasn’t right in the head anymore. Scott would never have attacked you or Hannah. He went crazy like the rest of them.”

“I hate to ask, but, would you do me a favor and shoot me if I get like that?”

Alex grimaced. “Sure thing, buddy. Same thing, you to me?”

Nate nodded. “Yeah, definitely.”

They sat in morbid silence for a moment.

“Hey listen I need to ask you something,” Alex leaned in conspiratorially. She lowered her voice. “Is there something going on between you and Hannah?”

Having heard the conversation when they thought he was asleep, Nate knew perfectly well where this was going, but he decided to have a bit of fun with it. He leaned in and lowered his voice too.

“Why? You thinking of making a move?”

Alex snorted. “Nah, she’s not my type. I like ‘em a bit less helpless. But a guy with a savior complex could really go for a girl like her.”

“Too bad I don’t have a savior complex.”

Alex raised her eyebrow at him. “You don’t think so?”

Nate flinched. He was reminded forcibly of that awful dream he had had about the moons, and a voice, maybe the voice of God, mocking him.

Alex misinterpreted his flinch. “You do like her, don’t you? Even if you haven’t made a move?”

Nate was not quite sure how to answer at first. Hannah was... not strikingly beautiful but certainly pretty; no genius but smart enough most of the time; a hard worker, though unambitious; sweet and attentive. And who was Nate to demand a woman be any more than those things? He wasn’t strikingly handsome himself, nor of above average intelligence; he worked hard but was no schemer for power, and he took care of those who cared for him. They would be a well-matched pair, he considered. He had done far worse for himself with his first, extremely short, marriage.

The answer to the question of whether he liked her, then, was yes. But he knew that wasn’t what Alex was really asking. Alex thought he had deliberately given Hannah the rose quartz to signify love. When she asked “do you like her?” what she really meant was “do you, or could you, love her?” To that Nate did not yet have an answer. The fact of it was: the explosive end to that short first marriage had rather ruined his opinion of the whole institution, and of dating beyond the casual, short-term sort. Hannah was a good girl, wife-quality even. She deserved someone of husband-quality. That was assuming there was a single husband-quality man left in the world when they reached the post-apocalypse, of course.

“We make it through this, get the world put back together, I’ll let you know,” he finally said. But he said it with a conspiratorial little smile, to put Alex’s imagination on the right track.

Alex straightened back out. Then her face went slack.

“Too bad, Nathan.”

Nate lurched backward. The voice that came out of Alex’s mouth was not Alex’s voice. Nor did it sound like the voice from the dream. But then again that voice had been in Nate’s head; it had been almost in his voice.

But it was, undoubtedly, The Voice. The Voice of the thing that believed humans deserved to be wiped out.

“Too bad w-what?” Nate stammered. He tried to recover enough motor function to reach over and grab his jeans. He got them at last, pulled them on, and tried not to be disgusted by the crusty feeling all over his left leg.

“We were thinking about leaving pockets of humanity alone. Wiping out a whole race is so exhausting. But if you and the girl aren’t a breeding pair, what would be the point in letting you continue?”

Seeing Alex’s face move to the words of a voice that was not hers was horrific, but not nearly as much as seeing the muscles in her neck spasm as her throat tried to make her voice sound like The Voice.

“You would let us live if we were a couple? I thought you hated humans; why would you want us to make more?”

The Voice gave a grotesque laugh that left blood dripping slowly from Alex’s mouth.

“We did not always hate you. When you were few, you did not harm the planet as you do now. If you do not wish extinction, we would return to this state, as a compromise.”

“Extinction?” Hannah had returned from the break room. She froze, horrified, when she realized where The Voice was coming from.

“Yes, little one. You may join us, or you may go extinct, or you may stay with this man and try to save your wretched race.”

Alex began clawing at her own throat. Trying to tear out or silence The Voice. With a lurch Nate realized that she was conscious of everything the horrible Voice was doing to her, aware of every word her throat and mouth were forced to say. She fought for control, but it seemed like The Voice was choking her for her efforts.

“Nate,” she gasped. “You. P-promised...”

“Alex...”

“DO IT.”

“Yes, Nathan. DO IT. Destroy your friend to save her if you wish. It makes no difference: her soul is already with us.”

“Nate?” Hannah’s hand was on his arm.

“She asked me to kill her if...”

“If she was taken by us. And she has been. Your kind parasitized ours in time before memory; now our kind will feed on you. On her.”

The gun was just sitting on the desk. It would be so easy to grab it.

“Nate she’s suffering. End it for her,” Hannah pleaded.

“Yes Nathan, end it for her. End it, or we will end you!”

Alex’s body began to rise like a grotesque marionette. It lurched forward on limp feet; Nate heard the ankle bones crack. A scream came out in Alex’s voice, just Alex’s voice. The scream started with pain, then moved into rage.

Nate was paralyzed. It was Hannah who had the wherewithal to grab the gun. She put the barrel against Alex’s face like her father had done the day before, and pulled the trigger.

Alex went down in a crumpled mess of limbs. Hannah dropped the gun and reflexively kicked it across the room. Nate fell to his knees. He felt like he could barely breathe.

“Your kind...were always good fighters. Multiply again, little parasites...we will be back to feast again...”

The Voice sounded exactly as garbled and wrong as any voice would, coming out of what was left of Alex’s face and jaw. Nate struggled not to throw up at the sight of blood bubbles welling up with each fading word.

“Nate? Nate, come on, stay with me.” Hannah was at his side, her hands on either side of his face.

“Hannah, you...?”

“I heard what you promised her earlier. You weren’t going to let each other go the way Scott went. I wasn’t going to let that happen either. Not to her, and not to you.”

He was losing the ability to keep his own head up. He leaned against Hannah’s shoulder and put his arms around her waist.

“Don’t let that happen to me, Hannah. Please don’t let it—“

“Shh. It’s over. Whatever that thing was, it said before that we could live. It’s gone. It’s over.” She had one arm tight around his shoulders and her other hand stroking his hair like a startled pet. “It’s over,” she repeated gently.

They moved Alex out of the building within the hour. That was it for Nate’s lifting power until his leg healed up some more. Hannah changed his dressing and they sat on the nest of blankets in the main office for the rest of the day. Hannah periodically brought out food, or helped Nate limp to the bathroom. Nate began reading aloud a mystery novel Martin had left in his desk.

When night fell, the sky looked darker.

He asked Hannah to confirm what he was seeing and she agreed with him.

There was only one moon in the sky.

—The End—

<<Part V

[purple-possibilities]

Character meme! Maito Gai! Casue I mean... look at my icon. This should be no surprise.

You have chosen the very greatest picture of Gai as your icon.  I am honoured to write this tribute to a lovely man.

First impression

Wuh… turtle… a man… on a turtle… a man on a turtle… in a green… a green… one piece… jumpsuit? with… orange… yellow… orange… puce… sienna… goldenrod—fuck it idk what colour that is it’s orange now—leg… legwarmers? are..eyebrows? what? but the other one? matching? what? i don’t… who thought this was a good idea?  Why… is that a sunset?  Why is he talking like this?  Is this funny? Is this dumb?  a turtle?  How is the turtle talking, and is it a tortoise or a turtle… idon’tlikehim—nowait—he’s the greatest

Impression now

Gai is amazing.  Hilarious.  I have mad respect for him.  He may have started off as a joke character but he is actually amazing, as a person, as a teacher, as a character, and I love him.

Favorite moment

After the Chuunin Prelims, the scene where Gai is talking to Lee about the probability of Lee surviving the procedure, and promises that if Lee dies, then Gai will die too.  It’s the first moment you see Gai being serious, and you learn the true measure of his devotion.  Gai might be loud and obnoxious and sunset genjutsus, but he’s also love and warmth and he would do anything for someone he cared about.  This was the first time we saw Gai—and Lee—as people and not gags.  And it was touching and sad and it really made me care about both of them.

Idea for a story

Fuck if I know.  Let met think…I hate to do this, but since Ume is known as the Queen of Angst I’m going to say I was inspired.  When Kakashi is in the midst of his ANBU depression and Gai petitions to be able to join, instead of saying ‘no,’ Sandaime says ‘yes.’  Now we’ve got ANBU Gai, being forced into completing these brutal missions or being charged with insubordination of the highest degree (the punishment of which, is death).  Not wanting to see Gai punished, Kakashi does the dirty work while Gai basically panics.  Seeing how much further into his shell this is pushing Kakashi, Gai bites the bullet and starts pulling his own weight.  The two spiral deeper into ANBU and the darkness that follows them, desperately grasping onto each other.  Gai finally begs Kakashi to leave one day, but Kakashi cannot, even seeing how affected Gai is.  So Gai sticks by his side, slowly killing off all the brightest parts of himself.  Until one day, Gai see’s a young boy with thick eyebrows trying his damnedest to be a ninja without chakra, and begs Sandaime to let him be the boy’s sensei.  Hiruzen finally smartens up, and ejects both Gai and Kakashi from ANBU.  They get their students, and they learn how to heal with their new purpose (Gai is better off at first, but he drags Kakashi behind him).  And then everything eventually works out because I was making myself sad.  As a payoff to having Gai in ANBU, let’s pretend that Kakashi and Gai were such a great team, they ended up finding Obito, they caught him, brought him to the village for rehabilitation.  No Uchiha Massacre, Madara is dead already and now has no one to bring him back to life, Zetsu walked into a patch of experimental weed killer and died (yes, all the Zetsu, it was a huge patch and they just kept walking into it for no reason. maybe there were some parasitic ants that took over their brains or something convenient like that), and everyone lives, everyone’s happy, hugs and kisses for everyone.  Boom.  Horrible ending.

Unpopular opinion

I honestly think Gai would be the greatest boyfriend.  As in: The. Greatest. Ever.  He would win awards for being an amazing boyfriend, and an amazing husband, and an amazing father.  Why?  Because he would give you his everything.  And not in a ‘Oh, I want to take advantage of the man,’ kind of way, but in the sense that, once Gai has decided you’re the one for him (even if you’re just the one for him right now) he is going to put soooo much effort into making sure you’d be happy.  He’d be bringing you little gifts every day, just because they reminded him of you.  They would probably all be different, things that he saw while doing his crazy training throughout the village, but they would all have some sort of deep personal meaning and you would probably love them.  Ok, there might be some trial and error in the beginning, but the man learns fast and never gives up.  If you didn’t like receiving physical gifts, he would gift you every day with something non-physical.  Maybe you like horrible poetry?  Gai will write you daily poems.  Maybe you like massages?  Gai will give you daily back massages, foot massages, wrist massages, full body massages (and i do mean full body massages) etc.  Maybe you just want someone to sit quietly with and cuddle for like an hour—Gai will stfu and cuddle with you.  Sure, he’ll be bursting with thoughts after, and he might get a little fidgety, but he will 100% do it, if it makes you happy.  So you better fucking treat him good or I’ll cut you.  Okay, Kakashi will cut you but still.  Don’t do that to Gai.  If you’re an introvert and you feel sometimes that his personality gets to be a little much, he will try to tone it down or give you space, but he’ll be back to 11 in a heartbeat if you change your mind.  He would remember every single important date.  If you wanted to go somewhere or do something, Gai would make it happen.  Whether that’s going skydiving off the mountains in Lightening, or looking for a mythical fish off the coast of Water, or going to the Land of Hotsprings for some R&R, or just going to the corner store to pick up your favourite take-out and that movie you were talking about.  Did you run out of sugar while baking?  Gai will bring you sooo much sugar in like two seconds flat.  Is he out of the village?  Doesn’t matter.  His summons are at your service (even if they’re a bit slower).  He would back you up no matter what (and even if you broke up, Gai would still have your back.  Gai is Ride or Die ok, he will be there for you as long as you’re not horrible and cheat on him or something.  Don’t be mean to Gai; he’s precious). If you’re having problems in your relationship, Gai will do his best to work them out with you.  Gai will go to therapy and work his ass off to make both of you happy. Gai obviously has his quirks and his own issues, and wheelchair bound Gai will probably take some time to bounce back into his normal vigour.  But honestly, out of his generation, he’d probably be the best boyfriend.  People don’t want to date Gai because LOUD and EYEBROWS and THAT HORRIBLE OUTFIT but a) he can be quiet if you need him to be, b) the eyebrows aren’t that bad get over it, and c) you bet your ass Gai looks amazing naked in civvies.  Don’t ask Gai to change for you (honestly, if you caught his attention, then I probably don’t have to tell you that) because that’s just mean.  But Gai will treat you right.  Date Gai.  You won’t find a better boyfriend.  And if you’re lucky and he proposes, marry Gai.  You might want to elope, though.  He will go a little overboard with the ceremony otherwise.  But hey, you’re dating Gai, you probably like overboard.  So go for the ceremony.  It will be the greatest wedding anyone has every attended.

Favorite relationship

If you’ve been on my blog for more than five minutes you know I love Kakashi.  But that is not my favourite relationship of Gai’s.  I love Gai’s relationship with his students, but specifically with Tenten.  Now I know what you’re thinking; sibi, why choose Tenten when there is Lee, Gai’s protege.  Well, it’s simple.  It’s easy to get along with someone who is like you.  Lee has always been a mini-Gai, and so it was not hard for them to bond.  Both have a relationship based on common interests and common goals, and it is a beautiful relationship.  Gai and Neji’s relationship falls in a similar vein; hard working student, eager to improve himself through hard work.  The problem here is that Gai isn’t much of a mentor—not by any fault of his own, but by virtue of Neji focusing on the Gentle Fist Style.  There were certainly exercises to build endurance and stamina and team bonds that Gai taught Neji, but Neji had a path already, and it was easy to guide him on it.  I love Gai’s relationship with Tenten because he had none of that.  All Gai had in common with Tenten was that they both work hard.  She had no real direction, she had no clan to teach her a specific style or put her on a path she could follow.  He could not identify with her as a girl, he didn’t really know how to treat her (because while Gai is a ball of sunshine he is awkward in his own way) but despite this, he didn’t give up.  He wanted to help her fulfil her goals.  Tenten’s dream was to be like Tsunade?  Gai was going to make that happen.  He tried to set her up with a medical ninja, since that’s what Tsunade was most famous for.  uh oh, Tenten didn’t have the chakra control.  Gai was not deterred.  Tsunade was known for her super strength…but that also required chakra control that Tenten didn’t have.  Gai was not deterred.  He tried to give her his summoning contract, but Tenten ended up insulting the tortoise and ruining that chance, as well as a chance for any animal summon (as the tortoises would surely gossip about the disrespect).  Gai was not deterred.  He taught her how to summon weapons.  He just kept trying.  Gai tried his best to equip Tenten with the skills she would need to fulfil her dream.  She did not end up proficient in the same way that Tsunade was.  But she found her own star.  She found something she loved, developed a fighting style all on her own, and became the greatest at what she did.  And Gai, who didn’t have the talents to teach her to be like Tsunade, didn’t go ‘oh well, I can’t help her,’ he said, ‘if this doesn’t work, then we’ll try that, and if that doesn’t work, we’ll try…’ until Tenten found herself.  He was an amazing mentor to all of his students, but this is most evident, in my opinion, with Tenten.

Favorite headcanon

I don’t remember where it started, but I like the idea that Gai is actually a genjutsu type, and whenever you see the sunset behind him, it’s actually him casting a low level genjutsu for theatrics. 

Here is the ask.  Send me a character (canon or oc) or even a pairing.  Up next is Genma, and then Hidan, Adult!Obito, Rock Lee, and Ino. (which I think I’m going to have to do later, it’s time for me to sleep).

Already completed: Madara, Kakashi, Shino, Tenzou

[isolavirtuosa]

Starting Over (For Real?) 41-42

[fanfiction] NaruSasu

Read the previous parts here.

- 41 -

  “This is how you dress for an undercover mission?” Naruto asked incredulously, looking up from the weapons he was packing.

“This is how I always dress,” I said, adjusting my belt.  I had even closed my shirt up more than usual since it was still winter.

“I liked when you were wearing my clothes,” he muttered.

“I’m sure you did,” I said, rolling my eyes.  “Imagine if everyone dressed in shitty orange t-shirts and track pants like you.”

“Um, it would be awesome?”

“We’re using a henge anyway.”

“Okay, but you’re still distracting,” he complained.  “Don’t you think it’s time to change your fashion?”

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” I scoffed, pulling on the collar of his hideous jacket.  “You look better in blue.  It brings out your eyes.”

Naruto’s face turned bright red.

I grinned, kissing his cheek and watching him flame even brighter.  “If you let me dress you for a day, then you can dress me for a day.”

“Th-th-that’s a good idea, yes, definitely,” he said, nodding his head vigorously.

“When we get back, then,” I said.

“When we get back,” he agreed.

We looked at each other.

“We’re not gonna be back for a while…” Naruto said.

“Probably not,” I agreed.  Apparently always using Kakashi as a personal taxi service was out, so we were walking to Lightning.

“Can we share a tent?” he requested, looping his arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

“You’re so codependent,” I complained.

“Can we share a sleeping bag?” he requested, grinning up at me.

I was going to ask him what was wrong with him, but instead decided to level him with a very tired look.

“I’ve gotten used to waking up next to you in the morning,” he said, sticking out his bottom lip.  “I don’t want to get unused to it.”

“And what are Sai and Ino going to think?” I asked him.

“Um, that we’re boyfriends and engaged and kinda banging?”

The ‘kinda banging’ got me, and I couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled out of me.

Naruto looked smitten.

Our knock-down, drag-out training session the day before had certainly gotten us back on even footing, and an evening of kinda banging afterwards had probably given me enough endorphins to make me receptive to Naruto’s contagious lovey-doviness.  I pulled him closer and pressed our lips together.

“I adore you,” he mumbled, giving me cute little puppy-like kisses.

For fuck’s sake, we were the grossest couple.  “You can’t act like this on our mission,” I informed him while still completely indulging him.

“Why not?” he complained.

“Because it undermines my authority,” I growled, trying not to drown in his attention.

He nipped my nose, then licked it.

I made a face.

“How does it undermine your authority when I act stupidly in love with you?” he asked.

I looked at him.

“Hm?” he hummed, pausing in his mission to kiss every inch of my face to tilt his head to the side and study me.  “What, do I embarrass you?”

“Obviously.”

“No, that’s not it,” he mused.  “Do you worry that my unfailing devotion to you will distract me in battle?”

“All the time.”

He laughed at that.  “Well, if you’re gonna dress like that…”

“Why can’t you move on from my clothes?”

“Because it’s ridiculous that you look that sexy in a fight,” he complained, taking his arms away and crossing them over his chest.  “Why can’t you dress practically like everyone else?”

“I am dressed practically,” I said.  I pointed to my arm guards.

“I’m practically invincible, and even I wear a damn mesh,” he complained, pulling up the hem of his t-shirt to reveal the mesh covering his very nice stomach.

“Do you see any scratches?” I asked, gesturing towards my bare chest.

“I’ve seen your scars, love,” he said, eyes serious.

“I don’t think a flimsy little mesh shirt would have stopped this,” I said, touching my slightly-less-missing-but-missing-none-the-less arm.  “And I think I still see the bruise on your solar plexus from yesterday,” I added, pulling up his mesh shirt and looking at the faint yellow bruise on his skin.

“That was a cheap shot,” he complained, touching the healing injury.  “Who kicks a guy when he’s asking you if you’re okay?”

“The guy who’s going to win the fight?” I suggested.

“Ha,” he scoffed.  “You didn’t win.”

“That’s an interesting take on things.”

“It’s a factual take on things.”

“I’m pretty sure the fight ended with you on your back and my sword at your throat.”

“Um, yeah, after I had you against a tree with a kunai to your heart.”

“I think the end result speaks for itself.”

“You are so obnoxious,” Naruto said incredulously.  “You bashed your head into a tree, freaked me out, then kicked me halfway into Sunday.”

“Your weaknesses are very easy to exploit,” I informed him.

“I’ve never been distracted in a real fight,” Naruto complained.

I laughed really long and hard at that one.

“Well I don’t get distracted when it counts!” he protested.

“Remember when we first saw each other at Orochimaru’s hideout and you were going to let me stab you?”

“I wasn’t!”

“And you were going to let Kurama take over your body until I stopped him.”

“I wasn’t…  Hey, remember that time you could have killed me but didn’t?”

“Which one?”

“All of them!” he snipped, pulling me forward by my belt.  “Did Sai stop you that time at Orochimaru’s?  Or was it just that you couldn’t go through with it?”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly.

He rested his forehead against mine.

I could feel his horns poking into me.

“We have had a seriously messed up relationship,” he mused.

I closed my eyes, letting our noses rub together.  “I’m trying to be less… messed up,” I said quietly.

“Me, too, love, but I don’t think we’re doing very well.”

I scoffed at that.

“It’s true, though, night of great sex aside,” he said, cradling my cheek and thumbing across my lips.  “We suck at personal growth.”

“I feel like the night of great sex contradicts that,” I said, mind drifting.  Naruto had been very assertive the night before, but still attentive and careful to make sure that everything he did or asked for was okay.  It had felt like a natural give and take, like two people working together towards something rather than our usually very one-sided sexual encounters.

And then there was the whole chakra thing.

“I did feel like we were very in sync,” he agreed, starting to smile.  “We’re always having the same dumb arguments over and over, but yesterday… was a welcome break.”

“A break?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, a break,” he said.  “Hopefully a breakthrough?  You seemed to… like it…”

I was probably blushing, but if he even attempted to point this out I would deny, deny, deny.  I could drop to my knees and suck his dick without batting an eye, but the reminder of him and what he did with his chakra was enough to turn me into a stuttering idiot.

Naruto shook his head with a little secret smile, but was smart enough to stop there, letting his hand drop away from my cheek.  “I love you,” he said, giving me a brief kiss before turning back to his weapons.  “Are you almost ready?”

“I’ve been ready,” I commented.  “You’re the one trying to have one last bang before we leave.”

Naruto cracked up.  “You cannot say that word.”

“And yet I just did.”

“Also, I am not,” he added.  “Unless…?”

I put my hand over his, making him drop the kunai in his hand.  Then I pulled him in by the back of his neck and made his mouth mine.

Naruto swooned.

I pulled away smiling.  “And that’s all you’re getting for the next six months.”

“Like you could resist me for six months,” Naruto scoffed, but then his expression got worried.  “Maybe you could…”

“I could,” I agreed, booping him on the nose.  “But only if I wanted to.”

“So ‘yes’ to sharing a tent?” he asked cheerfully.

“A hard ‘maybe’,” I said.

“I’ll take that,” he said agreeably.

I looked around the little apartment that we’d shared briefly, and I thought that maybe things could work out between us.  Maybe my lack of emotional and sexual availability weren’t going to tear us apart.  Maybe we were somehow going to actually figure things out.

“Hey, there, friends, are you ready to go?” Sai asked cheerfully as he appeared in the room.  “Nice titties, Uchiha.”  He glanced towards Naruto.  “Nice small penis, Uzumaki.”

Maybe it was Sai who was actually going to destroy us.

“You want to compare?!” Naruto demanded, hand going for his fly.

I shook my head at him and mouthed ‘no,’ from over Sai’s shoulder.

Naruto blinked.

“Sure,” Sai said cheerfully, unzipping.

“No one wants to see your penis, Sai,” I said sharply.

“No one?” he asked, looking crestfallen.

It almost seemed genuine, which took me aback for a moment.  “Well, I’m sure Karin or some other desperate person would want to see it, but no one in this room wants to.”

“Hey, we’re all homosexuals here,” he said, hand still toying with his zipper.

“Are we?” Naruto asked, genuinely confused.  “I thought you were with Karin?”

“That’s kind of an experiment,” Sai explained.  “We’ve already discussed how we’re just using one another for sexual pleasure.”

Naruto made a horrified face.

“Too much information,” I pointed out.

“Why?” Sai asked.  “You already knew that, and also I know everything about your sex life.”

“Whaaaat?” Naruto gasped.

“You don’t know everything,” I said placidly.  “Let’s go get Ino.”

Naruto had an uncertain look on his face, and Sai seemed like he was ready to say more inappropriate things.

“Now,” I said, walking to the door without bothering to look back at them.

They were both behind me as I made my way down the stairs towards Ino’s apartment.

“Sasuke!”

I paused in my progress to be assaulted by Karin.

“Are you leaving now?!” she cried, hanging off of my arm.

“Yes.”

She pushed out her bottom lip in a pout.

“You could have come with us,” I pointed out.

“Listen, I’m saving the world here,” she said, raising her chin up haughtily.

“By trying to save some crusty old kages?”

“By figuring out the God Trees and the chakra fruit, and helping protect us from them in the future,” she said like she was talking to a child, concluding it by patting me on the head.

I gave her a look.

She grinned.  “I’ll miss you.”

“Shouldn’t you be saying that to your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“I’m not,” Sai chimed in.

“You’ll miss me, too, won’t you?” Karin cooed, squeezing my cheeks.

I glared at her.

She laughed and let go, going over to Sai.

Naruto had that look on his face again, like he didn’t quite know who I was and where he fit in.

I took his hand irritably and pulled him towards Ino’s while Sai and Karin had a conversation that I was sure neither of us wanted to hear.  I knocked on her door and waited.

“Gimme a minute!” she called through the door.

“Women,” I muttered.

“I thought you had your misogynistic tendencies under control,” Sai said cheerfully as he approached us.  “Or is it because you’re not used to Ino yet?”

I didn’t need to answer that.

Ino finally bustled out of the door, and we set off.

We went as far as the border and rented a couple of rooms.  This would be our last day in neutral territory.  We were going around Fire, but we didn’t know how far Konoha’s influence had reached.  We would have to be constantly on guard.

So of course we all got shitfaced at dinner and proceeded to continue drinking late into the night.

 - 42 -

  Ino wasn’t so bad, I decided.  She didn’t make fun of me for how bad I was at holding my alcohol, unlike every other asshole member of our new team.

While Sai and Naruto bonded over making fun of me, Ino and I sat on the other side of the room, talking about important things.  I think.  What were we talking about again?

“So then Chouji said he saw Temari coming out of Shikamaru’s room after that, and you know what that means?”

Right.  We were gossiping.

“The acting kazekage is a skank?” I suggested.

Ino cracked up.

Naruto and Sai were giving me disappointed looks from across the room.

I turned my back on them and had a little more to drink.  I would have declared the night a success for team bonding, except that Naruto and Sai were pissing me off.

They hadn’t really been getting along well since we’d come back from Water.  I liked to think it was because they were both terribly jealous of the other’s relationship with me.  Well, I liked to think that when I was drunk and ready to admit to myself that I reveled in both of their singular devotion to me.

And now here they were, drunk and happy to make fun of and disapprove of me.

“I wish I could have seen you like this when we were younger,” Ino commented.

“Whassat supposed to mean?” I slurred.

“You’re not what I thought,” she said, smiling.

I decided to take it as a compliment.

“I think the booze has run dry and I’m going to go back to my room,” she said, holding up the empty bottle of vodka.

“Night, Ino,” Naruto said.

“I’ll walk you to your room,” Sai offered, getting to his feet.

“It’s not necessary,” she said, but he was already walking with her.

I crawled across the room to Naruto.

His expression softened and he reached for me, pulling me close.  “Hi, honey.  Are you feeling okay?”

“I feel great,” I informed him.

“Okay, but drink some water,” he said, fumbling around for a glass with his good hand while holding me securely to him with the other.  “Here,” he said, bringing the glass to my lips.

I drank it because he was cute, but I was honestly fine.

“Hello, friends, did you miss me?” Sai asked as he came back into the room.

“Not at all,” I said.  I drank a little more water as Naruto offered it to me.

“Ouch,” Sai said, smiling.

“You ready for bed?” Naruto asked me.

I shook my head and the world spun around a little as my stomach lurched.

Naruto frowned, petting my hair.  “Why don’t you lie down, okay?”

I looked at him.

He patted his lap, and I laid my head there, closing my eyes.

Naruto stroked my hair, voice low as he and Sai talked about the situation in Lightning.

I found myself drifting.

“…both have,” Sai was saying as I felt my stomach twist again.

“Have I really changed, though?” Naruto asked.  His hand was warm against my cheek.

“You don’t think so?”

“I…” he trailed off uncertainly.  “I mean, right now I’m going through stuff, you know?  It’s hard for me to make decisions because I know how badly I messed everything up in what was supposed to be my perfect world.  So… maybe I’m different right now, but it’s only temporary, isn’t it?  I’ll figure it out, and then I’ll go back to normal.”

“That’s an optimistic outlook,” Sai hummed.

“I mean, you’ve changed, too,” Naruto said defensively.

“Yes, I have,” Sai agreed.  “I feel like I’m almost a human being for the first time in my life.”

“So you feel like change is good?”

“When change is growth, I think it’s good.”

“Then how about Sasuke acting like a kid all the time?”

I tensed at that, feeling myself come more awake.

Naruto didn’t seem to notice, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“I think Sasuke stopped being a kid when he was six-years-old, and he’s finally come to a point in his life where he feels safe enough to start to reclaim who he used to be.”

Naruto exhaled slowly.  “Damn, Sai.  You… you really see through things.”

“I watch and I listen, Naruto,” he said.  “I used to have to observe someone down to the minutest details, the most subtle gestures and habits.  Then I killed them.”

Naruto started coughing at that.

“Now I use it to understand my friends more deeply,” Sai concluded cheerfully.

Naruto’s hand disappeared from my face for a moment before returning, cradling my cheek.  “You’re a good friend.”

“Thank you, that’s good feedback,” he replied.

I felt myself drifting again, their voices a soothing background noise.

“…helped me figure out…”

“…kinda weird, but okay…”

“…involved with the duck incident…”

“Can I ever love or be loved?”

Sai’s words startled me awake.  I blinked my eyes open.  “I love you,” I said sleepily.

Naruto tensed up.

Sai gave me a soft smile.  “You sure are drunk, Uchiha.”

“No’m’not.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly.  “Maybe I love you, too.”

“Good,” I said, snuggling back into Naruto’s lap and closing my eyes.

“What the hell?” Naruto complained.

I felt my breathing evening out.

“He just told me he loved me for the first time like a couple of weeks ago, you know,” he grumbled.

“Well, I guess he loves you about two weeks more than me,” Sai said, sounding amused.

Naruto was definitely sulking.

“You know it’s hard for him to say how he really feels,” Sai said.  “He’s drunk now so he doesn’t care.”

“I know,” Naruto said.  “But it was… hard for me, too.  It always felt like a rejection when he wouldn’t say it back.  Now he says it to anyone.”

“I’m not just anyone,” Sai said mildly.

He sighed.  “Yeah, I know.  Just… I’m a jealous jerk, okay?”

“Okay,” Sai agreed.  “You certainly are.”

Naruto breathed out a laugh.  “But how can I not be, I mean look at him.”

“Not my type,” Sai replied cheerfully.

“Is Karin your type?”

“Nope!”

“Well, I’m glad we settled that,” Naruto said.  He sighed again.  “I wish Sas’ didn’t put up so many walls with me.”

“Is this about his rejection of you sexually?”

“No!” he cried.  Then he paused.  “Not entirely, I mean.”

“Then what do you…”

I was started to fall asleep and I didn’t want to.

“…doesn’t tell me…”

“…but that’s not your…”

“What if he just wakes up one day and realizes he doesn’t need me as much as I need him?”

“That’s dumb,” Sai said.

“How is it dumb?”

“You two and your ridiculous bond changed my life,” he said irritably.  “The devotion you had to Sasuke brought me out of my emotionless stupor and started me on the path to becoming a real boy.  Then being immersed in Sasuke’s constant emotional constipation, and watching people’s simultaneous hatred and admiration of it brought me to a whole new level of humanity.  Do you really not know the secret, that Sasuke is every bit as uncoolly obsessed with you as you are with him?  Sasuke is a complete loser who just wants your love and affection, but he pretends that he isn’t a complete loser by being an asshole.  Do you see?”

Sai had read me to my face like this before, so I stayed in my half-asleep state, surprisingly unbothered.

“But…” Naruto started and stopped.  “What?” he concluded.

Sai sighed loudly.  “Have another drink, Naruto.”

I could feel Naruto pouting.  “Sasuke’s the coolest person I know.”

“Myth.”

My character was really being attacked here, but Naruto’s lap was very cozy.

“Do I… idealize him?” he murmured.

“You’re starting to get it.”

“Sai, you should be like a psychologist or something.”

There was a pause and then Sai let out a bark of laughter.

I liked Sai’s real laugh.  It sounded terrible, but it made me feel warm and happy, or was that just the alcohol talking?

“What?” Naruto complained.

“I’m not the kind of person that people want to confide their problems in.”

“Um, whaddya think I’m doing right now?” Naruto asked.  “And Sasuke, the king of all walls, opens up to you more than he apparently opens up to me.  So…”

“You two aren’t a representation of normal people.”

“Yeah, well, most of the people we know aren’t normal.”

“I can’t really argue with that.”

“I know, right?” Naruto said with a sigh.  “Sai, you really know how to look inside of a person and find the part they most want to keep hidden.”

“Like your small penis?”

“That joke is wearing thin.”

“Is it, though?” Sai asked cheerfully.

Their banter was lulling me back to sleep.  I woke up to the realization that I was drooling on Naruto’s thigh.  I sat up quickly, wiping my mouth.  The blood rushed to my head and I squinted in the dim light of the room.

“Hi, sleeping beauty,” Naruto greeted me.

I scowled at him.  “Why are you still awake?”

“Me and Sai have just been talking,” he said with a shrug.

“It’s late,” I said.

“It’s barely past ten,” he said, amused.  “You passed out at like nine.”

Well, wasn’t I an embarrassing lightweight?  “It’s late,” I said, doubling down.

He grinned.  “Okay.  Do you want to go to bed?”

I nodded.

“Mmkay,” he said, giving me a smooch.  His breath was heavy with alcohol, which made me feel slightly better.  He was at least mildly drunk.

“Don’t forget that I’m here,” Sai said cheerfully.

“I already did,” I replied, focusing on giving Naruto an even better smooch.

Naruto smiled dopily at me.

“Maybe I should room with Ino,” Sai suggested.

I nodded my agreement.

“You’re the cheapskate who didn’t want to pay for three rooms,” Naruto said, catching my nose and tugging on it playfully.

“I’m the cheapskate who’s paying for everything,” I said, rolling my eyes.  It was hard for Naruto to earn any money when he was always doing everything for free.

“Oh, right, thank you,” he said, letting go of my nose and kissing it.

I leaned into him, feeling warm and relaxed, and then I realized my bladder was about to explode and abruptly stood up.

Naruto tilted forward from my sudden absence.

When had my body started to store so much liquid?  I power walked over to the bathroom, barely stumbling at all.

Sai was tittering at me, and I ignored him.

I proceeded to unleash the most unholy of torrent of urine that has ever been beholden.  Or something.  I was still fairly drunk and it was taking an incredibly long time to get it all out.

“Did you fall in?” Naruto complained from outside the door.

“I’m peeing,” I growled at him.  I was still peeing.

“We want to brush our teeth,” Sai chimed in.

“Fuck off.”

“Are you really still peeing?” Naruto marveled.  “I can hear it!”

“Fuck off,” I repeated, lest he hadn’t heard me the first time.  When the ordeal was finally over, I flushed and washed my hands.  I opened the door to find Naruto and Sai both gaping at me.

“I bet you could win an award for the longest piss ever,” Naruto marveled.

I stared at him.

“Let’s brush our teeth!” he said cheerfully, smushing into the bathroom with me, followed by Sai.

“This bathroom was made for one person,” I grumbled.

“It’s like we’re one person,” Sai said with a shrug, reaching across Naruto so he could put some water on his toothbrush.

“No, it’s not like that at all,” I said.  Apparently Sai was also buzzed.

We all brushed our teeth in the tiny bathroom in front of the tiny mirror, Naruto wedged against the toilet.

I felt… relaxed.

Until Naruto tried to spit in the sink and ended up hitting my foot instead.

“You are vile,” I informed him.

He gave me very sad puppy eyes.

Fuck, I loved him.  “Clean it up,” I snipped.

He looked very confused.

Sai spit into the sink gracefully and rinsed off his toothbrush.  “Maybe you should get him some clean socks,” he suggested kindly.

“But I’m trapped in here,” Naruto said mournfully, still wedged against the toilet.

“I’ll help you,” Sai said.

They nodded at each other.

I was starting to feel like the soberest person in this cramped bathroom.  “So you two are friends again after spending the whole night talking about me?”

“We were never not friends,” Naruto complained.

“We discussed a variety of topics, not all of them you, Uchiha,” Sai scoffed.

“Yeah, okay,” I said, trying to get Sai moving through the door that he was blocking.  My sock was moist.

Sai backed through the bathroom door.  “I think Naruto and I have rediscovered our bond.”

“Sounds gay,” I commented, sliding past him and happily kicking my sock off on the floor.

“Do you always have to use that word?” Naruto complained, producing a dry pair of socks from his bag.

“Yes,” I said.  “Especially if you two are bonding.”

Naruto sighed, curling his arms around my waist.  “I’m only gay for you,” he said, kissing the back of my neck.

My skin felt sensitive and it sent a pleasant little tingle down my spine.  “Homo,” I informed him.

He let out an exasperated growl, but then he was leaning over my shoulder and giving me kisses.

“My feet are cold,” I mumbled against his lips.

He growled again, but he was smiling as he sat me down on the futon, still wrapped around me from behind.

I held my foot out to him.

“You’re very flexible,” he marveled, pulling the sock onto my foot.

“Ninjas are supposed to be flexible…”

“I guess,” he said, getting distracted kissing my neck.

“If you’re going to fornicate while I’m next to you, I get to take notes,” Sai commented from his futon.

“No one’s fornicating,” Naruto said, mouth attached to my shoulder.  “And I drank too much, so I couldn’t get it up if I tried.”

“Good to know,” Sai said cheerfully.  “Good night, friends.”

“Night, Sai,” I said, head lolling around as Naruto continued to give me his full attention.

“Good night,” Naruto agreed before going back to my neck.

Sai rolled his eyes and turned off the light.

“We’re sharing a bed, right?” Naruto murmured hopefully in my ear.

“Just get over here,” I muttered, pulling him under the blankets of my futon.

He happily snuggled into me, attaching his mouth to my collarbone.

I closed my eyes, letting my fingers run through his hair.

“You smell nice,” he hummed into my skin.

“I smell like alcohol,” I murmured, fingers lingering.  “I love you, you know.”

He grinned up at me in the dark, his teeth a flash of white.  “I love you, too.”

“Well, as long as that’s settled,” I said, directing his head to lie on my chest.

“I am very fond of both of you,” Sai interjected, his voice already heavy with sleep.

I was okay with that.  I was okay with all of this.  These bonds that we had formed.  The way these two assholes could talk about me like I wasn’t even in the room, just because I was slightly tipsy and half-asleep.  It didn’t bother me.  It should bother me, but it didn’t.  I wondered if I had reached a new plateau of consciousness, or if I was just so drunk that I didn’t care.  Would I wake up tomorrow, pissed about how they were shit-talking me and how Naruto was invading my privacy?

I kissed the top of his head, and thought maybe I wouldn’t.

I knew all of their secrets, too.  I knew how insecure Naruto was.  I knew how guilty Sai felt about his past.  Knowledge was power, and I had the same power over them that they had over me.

Also, I was taller than both of them.  That seemed important.

Naruto was half-asleep now, hand clutching at the fabric of my shirt.  “Good night, honey,” he murmured.

I ran my fingers up and down his skin until he fell asleep.

[raendown]

All at the end! @madatobiweek day 6 prompt: animal instinct.

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 7294 Rated: E Summary: Turning his head very carefully so as not to disturb the nose snuffling behind one ear now, Madara lifted both eyebrows and scoffed. “I very much doubt you can possibly think of anything to successfully bribe me with that would convince me to stay here and suffer through letting your new cat-brother sniff me head to toe.”

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

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Animal Instinct

Madara wasn’t sure if he could scowl any harder than he already was but he made sure to give it a try anyway as he lifted his hand to pound on his best friend’s front door for the fifth time. He could feel Hashirama’s chakra inside, it wasn’t like the man wasn’t home, and there was absolutely no way even a dead brick like him could sleep through all the racket Madara was kicking up out here. So why the hell was he not answering? Best friends were supposed to bend to each other’s whims at all hours of the day! Or at least he expected Hashirama to do so for him. He always had before so clearly he had signed on to continue doing the same for the rest of their lives.

When he finally sensed that familiar sensation of nature and growth coming closer Madara blew out a sigh of exasperation. At last he was getting the attention he deserved. He was, however, startled almost in to silence to have the door cracked open for an incredibly disheveled looking Hashirama to peek around it with a frantic light in his eyes.

“Can you not!?” he hissed. “Every time you knock it sets him off again! At this rate I won’t be able to salvage any of the furniture, let alone the drapes!”

“Eh? What the hell are you talking about? Let me in!”

“Good idea, maybe you can help me keep him contained!”

Hashirama opened the door just enough to pull him inside and carefully shut it behind him with as little noise as possible. Then he hurried off down the hall while beckoning for Madara to follow him. A little worried for his friend’s sanity, mostly just curious, Madara followed.

Of all the things for him to find in the living room he never could have guessed that it would be Tobirama hunkered down in a corner with his back to the wall and his lips peeled back from his teeth to hiss at them like a damn cat. Clothes in disarray, small bits of fabric and fluff clinging to him everywhere, he looked an absolute mess. The hair on his head almost seemed to stand on end as he arched his spine and actually yowled in warning when his brother tried to step back in to the room. Pausing in the doorway, Hashirama pouted.

“Aw come on, Tobi! It’s just me!”

Tobirama hissed and pressed further back in to the corner.

“I’ve got something you might like,” Hashirama called in a calming singsong voice, reaching in to his pocket with slow movements to pull out what Madara thought looked like a piece of sushi. “Here you are, little brother. All for you.” Very carefully he tossed the treat and Madara was flabbergasted to see Tobirama catch it with his teeth then half turn to chew through it with loud smacking sounds like a dog.

“What…the fuck is wrong with him?” he asked. Hashirama gave a sad little sigh and straightened up to inch further in to the room.

“Don’t know exactly yet. He came home from his mission like this. The two he was supposed to be on the assignment with lost track of him in the middle of a battle so it seems he made his way back here following familiar scents. Or maybe it just felt like home? I don’t know.”

“He’s acting like an animal.”

“Yeah whatever happened out there made him…I guess the word would be savage. Maybe feral. He seems to understand what I’m saying but he’s completely nonverbal himself and he’s acting entirely on instinct, from what I can tell. All reaction and no thought.”

Nodding slowly even though he didn’t actually understand what was going on, Madara finally peeled his eyes away from the madman in the corner and took in the state of the room itself. The drapes were torn down as Hashirama had mentioned, shredded and tossed in every direction. Furniture had been upturned and the rug that usually sat in the middle of the room had been dragged over to the corner for Tobirama to perch on top of it like a cat claiming its new bed. Chunks of furniture stuffing and the occasional handful of long brown hair littered throughout the room belied the violence all this chaos had involved.

Madara snickered, trying to imagine the squeal Hashirama would make at having some of his too-perfect hair pulled out. Just because they were friends did not mean that wasn’t funny. Clapping the other man on the back, he let out a chuckle that cut off immediately when he saw Tobirama shift focus over to him.

“Well, good luck with all this,” he said. Then he turned to leave because this was absolutely not his problem to deal with. Hashirama scrambled after him.

“No, wait! You’re just going to leave me!?”

“Uh…yes? He’s your brother, dimwit. I have no reason to get involved with this.”

Hashirama caught the front of his shirt and hit him with the best puppy eyes he’d ever seen. “But! But! Didn’t you say that you have a massive crush on him? Don’t you want to make sure he’s okay?”

“Shut up!” Madara screeched. “I am never drinking with you again! Stupid inhuman heavyweight drinker, getting shit out of me when I’m – breach of trust! That’s what this is! An unconstitutional confession! You took advantage of me when I was not myself!” Vindication filled him when he saw Hashirama droop but he should have known to watch out for what came next.

“Aw, Maddy, I didn’t realize you were so upset about it!” Without warning he launched himself forward to wrap both arms around Madara’s neck like a boa constrictor, not budging an inch when his victim began to screech in protest.

Distracted as they were, neither of them saw the movement of another figure approaching very carefully and very quietly until it was too late. Hashirama had yet to let go of Madara when they were both bowled over and knocked clear in to the hallway by more than two hundred pounds of solid muscle – muscle that snuffled curiously as it burrowed in to Madara’s hair and crawled over top of them with little care for the way Hashirama protested getting knees in his spine.

“Hashirama what the hell is he doing!?” Madara panicked more the closer Tobirama’s face got to his own.

“I don’t know! He’s been so standoffish until now!”

“Get him off me!”

“But he seems to like you,” Hashirama cooed, reaching for his brother’s hair and then snatching his hand back when the man snarled viciously.

As soon as the unwanted hand was out of his personal space Tobirama went back to snuffling at Madara until he was distracted with nosing at the ear he discovered hidden under all that hair. With a curious expression he licked it and then echoed the sound when Madara yowled in surprise. In an instant he was gone, scurrying off back to the living room while Madara threw Hashirama off his chest to sit up and rub frantically at the side of his head.

“What the hell!”

“You better not have enjoyed that!” Hashirama accused. “He’s not in his right mind!”

“Seriously? You think I–? Don’t be so gross!” Madara all but threw himself back on to his feet and stomped out of the hallway after their wild Senju while he grumbled under his breath. He was such a better friend than Hashirama was, going to make sure Tobirama wasn’t breaking more furniture instead of making insulting accusations!

He found the man he was looking for back in the same corner of the living room, curled on the floor like a dog with one hand crossed over the other and chin resting on them, eyes darting nervously back and forth. When Madara stepped in to his field of vision he narrowed his gaze and went completely still. It was at that point Madara realized that his animal analogy was just a bit off. Tobirama wasn’t a dog. Obviously he was a cat, a big annoying stupid cat who would be lashing his tail if he had one. Luckily Madara had lots of experience handling felines.

With deliberate casualness he refused to look over at the corner as he made his way towards the only chair not turned upside down where he deliberately arranged himself in the squashy cushions and questioned why he was even bothering to help with this. Sure, Hashirama was right, he did have a massive crush on this ungrateful asshole, but having a few undesired feelings didn’t automatically make him a good person willing to do favors for other people. He made sure to keep repeating that in his head as he watched Tobirama from the corner of one eye very slowly inch out of his corner and approach the chair, nose twitching.

It was stupidly cute.

Several minutes passed while Tobirama made his way across the room bit by bit, stopping every once in a while to sit back on his haunches and stare off in another direction like he was trying to prove he had no particular interest in Madara.  Eventually he managed to crawl up the back of the chair and flop half of his body over the backrest while Hashirama watched from the doorway with a baffled expression.

“How did you do that?” he whined. Madara very carefully did not react to the nose burying itself against the top of his head.

“It wasn’t hard. You’re too enthusiastic and it was making him uncomfortable.”

“But I’m his brother!”

“And clearly he doesn’t even remember who he is at the moment, let alone you. Give him some space to just do his thing and he’ll be much more receptive to you.” Madara rolled his eyes when Hashirama sighed despondently. “I assume you have people looking in to what happened to him?”

His friend perked up with a nod, stepping in to the room so he could putter around replacing all the furniture. “Of course! His mission partner’s gave us a location and description and one of them even had something with the enemy’s scent. We’ve got a team of Inuzuka tracking them down so that we can figure out how to reverse whatever this is.”

“Excellent. So I’m not needed any further now that he’s calm?”

“Oh come on, please stay,” Hashirama said. “Look, he’s so much more comfortable with you than he is with me! He likes you!”

“No, he likes that I’m more stationary than you are.” Madara did his best to ignore the fact that despite Hashirama’s excitable personality he was actually the calm one in their friendship, what with his lack of anger issues.

“What if I bribe you?”

Turning his head very carefully so as not to disturb the nose snuffling behind one ear now, Madara lifted both eyebrows and scoffed. “I very much doubt you can possibly think of anything to successfully bribe me with that would convince me to stay here and suffer through letting your new cat-brother sniff me head to toe.”

Hashirama grinned a very dangerous grin but both of them froze when they were interrupted by a knock on the front door, hardly daring to breathe as they waited for Tobirama to be set off again by the noise. To their surprise he did nothing more than shove his nose a little deeper in the hair he seemed so fascinated by. Madara breathed a sigh of relief as Hashirama pottered away to see who was here. Whoever it was had just saved him from what was sure to be a terrible fate at the whims of that evil grin his best friend only pulled out on special occasions. Sometimes he forgot that Hashirama knew him better than anyone in the world except Izuna and that he was just as shameless is using that knowledge to get his way. Stupid innocent face! Curse the day he let that face trick him in to being friends!

When Hashirama came back in to the room about ten minutes later he was holding something behind his back with one hand, which was definitely not a good sign. He should have known better than to think a quick distraction would save him.

“Anyone important?” Madara ventured.

“Yes, actually. That was a runner from T&I. The retrieval team just came back with the two shinobi who survived the battle that caused whatever is happening. Either one of them could be the person who did this to Tobi but neither of them are talking so the interrogators want me to come down and supervise but if I do that then poor Tobi will be left here all alone.”

Smelling a trap right away, Madara scowled and began to slowly extricate himself from the chair. “No. Uh-uh. Absolutely not! I am not babysitting him while you’re gone! He has other relatives for you to fool in to that madness!”

“But what if I do this?” Hashirama very slowly approached Tobirama, distracted as he was trying to cling to Madara’s thick hair, and popped something down over his head that immediately diverted his attention. When he thumped down on to the floor and batted at the strands of his own hair Madara choked.

“Is that…a headband…with cat ears on it?”

“Why yes, it is!” Hashirama beamed at seeing him frozen to the spot. “Thanks so much, Maddy! You’re a true friend!” Just like that he was gone, leaving Madara alone with his worst nightmare.

“Your brother plays dirty,” he informed the man-cat now staring up at him with wide pretty eyes and two cute little ears perched on his head.

So this was it, he thought. This was to be his doom.

It wasn’t all that bad at first. As cats were wont to do, Tobirama spent a great deal of time ignoring him for the first little while. Now that he understood the only human left in the room meant him no harm he apparently found it more interesting to explore his territory in a way humans never would. With openly curious body language he shoved his nose in to nearly every crevice he could find, sniffing and batting and occasionally head-butting things that particularly confused him. It took fifteen minutes for Madara to relax, thinking that maybe this wouldn’t be half as terrible as he expected it to be.

And of course that’s when Tobirama decided that he was a lap cat. With laser focus he left off whatever he was investigating and crawled his way back across the floor with that weirdly awkward gait, all four feet on the floor in a way human limbs just weren’t meant to be used. Then without so much as a mew of warning he crawled right up over the edge of the chair and flopped himself across Madara’s lap.

“Uh…what the fuck?” Madara grimaced. “No! Look, you’re cute and all but – fuck. Just fuck. You can’t sleep here!”

Tobirama lowered him with the single deadliest expression he’d ever been on the receiving end of, heavy lidded eyes and a soft contented smile, and with not a shred of apology he began to purr.

“You’re either doing this on purpose to torture me or later you’re going to torture me for letting you do this. Either way I really don’t win here, do I?” Madara huffed when his words continued to go ignored.

Perhaps he could have lived with it if Tobirama simply laid still like a good little kitty. It would have been awkward but entirely survivable. Unfortunately the universe was just not on his side today. Tobirama spent five solid minutes trying to find the perfect comfortable position and when he finally found it he ruined all his efforts by squirming around on to his back so he could bat at the fringe dangling around Madara’s face.

Not at all impressed, Madara gave him a grumpy look. “I am not a feather toy,” he insisted. Tobirama didn’t listen. He continued to purr and play until Madara grew frustrated and reached up to massage the space between his eyebrows where he could already feel a headache forming.

His fingers never reached his face, caught instead by two pale hands that seemed to think they were paws at the moment and drawn back down for Tobirama to inspect it with unnecessary concentration. It was cute for perhaps fifteen seconds before Tobirama pulled his fingers a little closer and licked them.

“Okay! Nope! Not happening!” Keeping his eyes away from the pout staring up at him was one of the hardest things he’d ever done but it was nowhere near as hard as the thing that would have cropped up between them if he just sat there and let Tobirama lick his damn fingers, putting all sorts of inappropriate images in his head. That was not at all what he should be thinking about while the man was out of his right mind and unable to control his own actions. Hell, it wouldn’t be appropriate even if he was completely himself!

Madara might not care for most boring social rules but he was a pretty big fan of the ones that stopped him from making a fool of himself in front of a man who very clearly did not return his interest. Sure they had learned to get along a little better over the past couple of years and yes maybe there was that one night when he thought Tobirama might have been implying they should have dinner together but nothing had ever come of it and that was as much proof as he needed to confirm that he was the only one with taste in this village. Clearly the one his heart had chosen did not share his refined tastes or else they would have already been out on several dates by now.

A quiet mewl from his lap tugged at his heartstrings but Madara told himself to stay strong. If he looked down he knew he would give in even if he wasn’t sure what he would be giving in to. He’d probably end up giving his fingers back to be laved at by that pretty pink tongue.

When cute whining didn’t get him whatever it was he wanted Tobirama huffed and began squirming around again while Madara closed his eyes and prayed for patience. By the time the cat-man settled again he had somehow worked himself around to press his belly against Madara's chest with his legs curled up underneath him and straddling an unwilling lap, torso draped over the back of the chair, entirely uncaring for the fact that he was half-suffocating the man whose head was now trapped between chest and cushions. He refused to budge so much as an inch while Madara worked his head far enough to one side that he could breathe again.

Because the universe hated him, that was of course the position Tobirama chose to fall asleep in, keeping him trapped there no matter his gentle struggles until Hashirama came home almost an hour later. His friend stopped in the doorway upon spotting them there and the look of eager satisfaction on his face drained away to be replaced with hearty amusement.

“Comfy?” he asked. Madara bared his teeth.

“Help me!”

“You don’t look like you need any help at all, actually.” Hashirama tucked his hands in to his sleeves and settled back on to his heels. “I wish I had a camera. I would frame this and hang it on my front door. The outside of the front door.”

Regretting all of his life choices, Madara didn’t really have any room to deflate since he was already pretty squished. “I hate you. We’re not friends anymore.”

Hashirama gasped and sank down in to a squat where he began to pout at the floor. “Oh no! I didn’t mean it, I promise! You guys are just so adorable together like this and I wanted to remember it!”

“Ugh, fine, there’s no need to be so pathetic about it. I guess I didn’t mean it.”

“Excellent!” Popping back to his feet as if nothing happened, Hashirama beamed at him. “Anyway, the one that did this to our poor Tobi broke pretty easily under questioning and he told me how to help get him back to normal. Are you sure you wouldn’t like for me to wait a day or two? He does look pretty cute in those ears.”

Madara glared as hard as he could. “Just because you’re right does not make you right! Wait…ugh, you know what I mean! He would kill us both when he found out and it wouldn’t even be my fault! I am not dying for your stupidity – at least not yet; I’m not convinced that I won’t end up dying for that anyway at some point, what with all the idiocy you drag me in to on a daily basis.”

“There’s no need to be cruel about it,” Hashirama whined pathetically. Madara ignored him.

“So how do we get him back to his usual stuck up self? And how do we get him off me first because I am not having him wake up to find himself draped over my lap!”

“Oh that’s easy. Just start sitting up and when he protests give him a scratch behind the ears!”

“He’s not an actual cat,” Madara pointed out.

“Just trust me,” Hashirama said with a shrug. “It’s worked for years.”

After staring hard for a few moments, desperately looking at Hashirama so he wouldn’t start picturing anything else that might cause some sort of excitement, Madara took as deep of a breath as he could manage and tried to sit forward. Tobirama did protest. If he had actual claws they would have dug in to the fabric of the chair cushions to hold himself in place. When he gave a low growling noise of warning Madara reached up to scratch him behind one ear as instructed and watched with fascination as he slithered down to melt in a small puddle across the lap underneath him.

Standing up completely took a little more effort and not a few soothing head scratches but eventually Madara was on his feet and somehow managed to lead his new pet over to where Hashirama stood watching the whole debacle from the doorway.

“I…don’t know that I want to be here for this at all,” he murmured. “Do try and send warning ahead if he goes on the war path, will you?”

“Wait, you’re leaving me to deal with him alone? What if he doesn’t sit still for me to get him back to normal?” Hashirama tried to catch him but Madara slipped past and made a desperate break for the front door.

“Not my problem!” he called over one shoulder as he escaped in to the outside world.

Of course, just because it wasn’t his problem didn’t mean the issue was entirely off his mind. No matter what Madara did over the next few hours he found his thoughts constantly drifting back to the brothers he had left behind and wondering if everything had gone alright. Surely Hashirama would let him know if things went badly or if Tobirama ended up in the hospital somehow. Or perhaps he wouldn’t because Madara was not family and there really wouldn’t be any need to contact him in an emergency he wouldn’t be any help with.

It took a great deal of effort for Madara to keep himself focused on whatever he attempted to fill the rest of his day with. The book he tried to read didn’t seem nearly as interesting as the last time he put it down, not when the main character kept turning in to someone else in his mind’s eye. He gave a bit of thought to running through a few kata routines to calm himself down but he knew as well as the next person how badly one could injure themselves if they were distracted during training. Izuna was out of the village at the moment so he couldn’t even pop round to his brother’s house and demand a proper distraction!

At some point he tried to get a bit of his paperwork done but after a full hour he couldn’t recall a single thing he had just looked over. Eventually he simply gave up and went to make dinner. It came out half burnt and half raw with his inability to pay attention but it was only rice and vegetables so he owned his mistakes and choked it down anyway. No sense in wasting food just because he couldn’t get his head out of the clouds.

Dusk lay heavy over the village, just on the cusp of truly becoming nighttime, when a light hand knocked on his front door. Madara was so grateful for a distraction he didn’t even bother sensing ahead of himself to see who was there. It didn’t matter who was there.

Or he didn’t think it would until he opened the door to find Tobirama looking back at him with a bashfully ashamed expression on his face, weight shifting back and forth between his feet.

“Evening,” he murmured.

“Yeah. Hi.” Madara swallowed down the urge to ask where the cat ears had gone and asked, “Did you need something?”

“As I understand it, I acted quite inappropriately towards you earlier today while I was…not myself. I came to apologize. And I suppose to thank you for handling the situation so well. Hashirama tells me that you were quite helpful in keeping me calm.”

Madara nodded slowly and avoided eye contact. “Uh-huh.”

“Right. Well, thank you. For that.”

“You’re welcome.”

The two of them paused, awkwardly standing in the doorway as they both tried to think of something to say.

“Are you…good now?” Madara asked eventually.

“Yes, all back to normal. Mostly. A few, ah, embarrassing behavioral urges but nothing that won’t fade over time according to the one who did this to me.” He didn’t look all that confident in taking the word of his opponent but there really weren’t any other options for him in this situation. Madara carefully did not allow himself to ask what sort of urges were still present.

“Would you like to come in for some tea?” When Tobirama gave him a look of surprise he cleared his throat and looked away again. “Ah, just to make sure someone’s watching you. Since, you know, since you said that there were still some lingering effects.”

Tobirama almost looked disappointed somehow. “Ah, yes. Well if you don’t mind. I do like tea.”

Instead of beating himself around the head for blurting out the spur of the moment offer he’d had no intentions of making, Madara waved his guest inside and closed the door behind them before leading the way to the kitchen where he very much hoped the smell of burnt rice wasn’t too strong. No need to give the impression that he was a terrible cook. Usually he was…not exactly great but at least decent. He didn’t generally burn his meals and that was better than he could say for a lot of people.

Boiling the water and preparing the tea leaves gave him something to do while Tobirama settled himself at the table and took in the room around them. Then they were seated across from each other with steaming mugs of Sencha. Madara wracked his brain for something to say that wouldn’t insult his guest in to leaving. In all the time they’d known each other he’d never had an excuse to invite Tobirama in to his home without being obvious that he was flirting or at least working himself up to it. Now that he’d opened the door by accident he should take advantage, set the groundwork to maybe open up a few more doors in the future, but that would only work if he could think of anything to say.

“I didn’t…do anything offensive while you were there, did I?” Tobirama’s voice broke the silence and Madara looked up from his tea with relief.

“No. What do you mean by ‘offensive’?”

“I’m not sure. Anija was being quite ambiguous about the exact nature of my actions but I have some vague sensory memories that don’t paint a very good picture.” He flushed and Madara tried to focus passed how lovely it looked on his skin.

“That would frustrate the fucking hell out of me,” he blurted.

Surprisingly, Tobirama only huffed out a quiet laugh. “Indeed, it’s very frustrating.”

“What do you remember?” Madara leaned forward a little more when he saw that pretty blush kick it up a notch. This had to be interesting.

“I remember, ah, there was a person there with me? I can’t say if it was you or Hashirama but someone was there who I found particularly…grounding. Soothing. I wanted to be near them and I think I remember…”

“Remember what?”

Tobirama looked towards to ceiling with shame. “Climbing on them. I can’t decide which is worse. Did I embarrass myself by climbing in to your lap? Or did I crawl in to my own big brother’s lap like a child asking for bed time stories? I don’t even know if I want you to tell me the answer.”

Since he said he wasn’t sure Madara did intend to hold back on saying anything. He intended to! It wasn’t his fault that the edges were blurring between what he wanted and what he thought he could have.

“It was me,” he heard himself say and he cringed at the same time Tobirama did.

“Ah. Well then. I cannot apologize enough for doing something that would make you so uncomfortable.” The poor man looked like he wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him where he sat.

Madara understood that feeling more than anyone and his first instinct was to soothe it away by assuring his guest, “No, I wasn’t uncomfortable.”

“You weren’t?”

“No!”

“You were completely comfortable with me sitting in your lap?”

“Yes!”

He was already nodding enthusiastically when he realized what he had just implied with that admission. Suddenly it was his own face blushing, although he was much less graceful about it with his tendency to go tomato red from chin to hairline. There was no point in hoping he could backtrack on that before Tobirama put two and two together; the man was renowned for his genius, after all.

Shrinking low in his seat, he gave a nervous titter. “Is there any chance we can pretend you didn’t hear me say that?”

“Interesting.” Tobirama cocked his head to one side with a strange light growing in his eyes. “You were comfortable with that, which must mean that you are comfortable with me. Would you-…hmm.”

“Would I what?” If the man didn’t finish that thought Madara was likely to panic. Had he just ruined everything he’d only just seen the chance of trying to build?

Standing from the table, Tobirama’s lips parted in a slow, predatory grin. “I would prefer to show than tell.”

That really didn’t clear anything up. In fact, that was probably even more ominous. Madara wondered if maybe he should run or at least rescue the Sencha somehow as Tobirama made his way around the small kitchen with prowling steps until he stood over his prey with narrowed eyes all but burning in the low light.

And the next thing Madara knew they were kissing, wild and messy, fingers buried in his hair and teeth scraping along his bottom lip. Tobirama tasted like tea but his actions were far less civilized. The first helpless moan of startled pleasure that slipped up Madara's throat was almost like a signal for the man to crawl in to his lap and box him in to his chair with solid thighs that just begged for him to sink his nails in to. Judging by the sound that tore itself up out of Tobirama’s chest, he seemed to like that idea.

Something in the back of his mind, probably his conscience or whatever, told him that this was probably one of those behaviors that were influenced by the lingering after effects of the jutsu. If he were a good man he would have stopped to make sure that Tobirama was still in his right mind. One thing he had never pretended to be, however, was a good man. The vacant lack of high thought process was something he had noted before when the man thought he was a giant cat but the same could not be said of the hot eyes looking down at him now. If he was a little more horny than usual and willing to act on a thought he otherwise might not, well, who was Madara to turn him down?

Focus became difficult around the time fingers began working their way under his collar. Madara squirmed under the touch until Tobirama finally succeeded in untying his obi and managed to pull apart the panels of his yukata. Two hands were definitely more distracting than one. Somewhere around arching his back and yelping with surprise when enterprising fingers discovered his nipples, Madara never even noticed his guest removing the other hand for the brief second it took to make a quick sign. Nor did he notice the clone that popped in to existence until he heard the sound of his cupboards being rummaged through.

Instead of any kind of embarrassment at being caught, the clone very calmly blinked back at him and asked where he kept his olive oil. Madara gurgled out something that vaguely sounded like words but he was much too distracted with the mouth nipping a line up the side of his neck to make himself coherent. It didn’t seem like Tobirama minded. His clone went back to rummaging while the original did a thorough job of removing Madara's brain through his ears.

Or maybe it just felt like that because he was already melting under all these glorious touches.

A quiet ‘ah-ha!’ was his only warning before the clone appeared behind him and pulled his chair out several inches. With their combined bulk on the seat that should have been at least a bit difficult but the ease with which he maneuvered their weight had Madara whimpering.

Tobirama slipped off of his lap to accept the bottle of olive oil his clone seemed to have located at last. With a long glance darkened with lust the clone disappeared and Madara had a total of five seconds to clear his head and wonder what was actually about to happen. Not that he was particularly against whatever it was, just that he did always like to be prepared. Generally he was always in control in most of his intimate encounters but it was clear that he was absolutely not going to be now.

Should he have been so turned on by that? Because he was.

What small amount of fog he was able to shake from his mind was brought back doubled the instant Tobirama got hands on him again. Madara went easily along with being pulled out of his chair. The surprise was immediately being pushed face down on the table and having the yukata still hanging from his shoulders all but torn away. He closed his eyes and groaned when his pants were opened and pulled down without ceremony, barely allowed a moment between kicking them away and arching his spine under the nails that racked down his back.

Strong hips pressed him harder against the table and Madara swallowed thickly. Tobirama was still completely dressed. He’d always thought there was something incredibly hot about one partner being completely clothed while they fucked the other completely naked – it was just that usually he wasn’t the one that was naked and bent over his own kitchen table. It only took a sharp bite to one shoulder and oil-slick fingers in the cleft of his ass for him to decide that he really truly did not mind.

Madara shifted his weight impatiently under the soft touches tracing his entrance but fell still immediately when Tobirama snarled just behind his ear.

“Shit, sorry,” his partner gasped in a rough voice. “I can’t help it.”

“Don’t help it; don’t help anything; don’t change a fucking thing!” Madara babbled on between soft whines, bucking helplessly each time he thought one of the fingers teasing him might finally slip inside.

When they did it was without warning and his entire body quivered as Tobirama sank one finger in up to the second knuckle at the same time as he bit down on a place he had already left teeth marks. Madara garbled out several disconnected vowels, pressing his hips back to keep that finger in him for as long as possible, rolling his eyes up when it was pulled away only to sink back in and curl. Not quite in to that one spot he knew would make him see stars but close enough that he could already hear his own voice begging for more.

Tobirama obliged him, of course, but only when it suited him. He still took a couple of minutes to make sure the area was properly stretched before adding a second finger but it was worth the wait. Almost immediately he was curling them just far enough to have him howling and bucking no matter how little purchase he was able to get on the polished surface of his kitchen table.

By the time his partner was three fingers deep Madara was begging indiscriminately without any trace of shame and the back of both shoulders were littered with bite marks.

“You want me to fuck you?” Tobirama growled as though only just now hearing the pleas that had been echoing off the walls of the kitchen for the past several minutes. He soothed all the teeth marks he’d left behind with licks and kisses, rumbling pleasantly over marking his territory so well.

“Gods yes please, please, fuck me already!”

“Hmm. Since you said please.” He nuzzled in to the skin behind Madara's ear and the sound that he made could almost be called a purr. It was a happy sound and that thrilled Madara almost as much as the sound of clothes rustling when the man finally leaned away to open up his own trousers, still completely dressed up to now.

Then there was a blunt pressure right where Madara needed it most and he saw stars behind his eyelids brighter and brighter with every inch of cock that slid inside. Not the biggest he’d ever taken but just exactly the right size for pleasure, perfect for rocking back on to draw a lewd moan out of himself before Tobirama caught his hips and forced him in to stillness again.

No matter how he wriggled and tried to buck Tobirama never gave him so much as an inch. Madara had to admit that it only made things so much better, forced to keep still and just let himself get fucked slowly, helpless to the whims of the man behind him. Letting go of control had never been so hot before.

And Tobirama certainly made it clear that he was the one in control. Caught up in the mess of his own primal instincts, there was something almost animalistic about the way he grunted and drove himself deeper and deeper in to the body before him. Feral, as Hashirama had called him earlier. It was certain an apt word for the look on his face. Each time Madara was able to turn his head and catch a quick glimpse of the man it had him shuddering to see the dark light in those deep red eyes, the way his lips were peeled back from his teeth in a rigid snarl of pleasure. Everything about him screaming ‘alpha male’ and for the first time in his life Madara wanted only to submit.

It was a good choice. The second he went limp entirely Tobirama seemed to sense that he had won something. Perhaps that he had won Madara for his own, as his animal hindbrain seemed determined to accomplish. With a noise that rumbled up from the deepest part of his chest he pulled out entirely, shifted his weight, and then slammed back in for a direct hit against Madara's prostate.

The change in angle brought with it a change in tempo and their slow, steady fucking became a frantic rutting as they both raced towards their end together. Madara shook and trembled with every blow against his prostate knowing that he would not need to be so much as touched to get what he wanted as long as Tobirama could last just a little bit longer. If he were able to pay just a little more attention to the desperation in his partner’s grunts he might have realized that Tobirama was indeed hanging on by a thread just for the sheer pleasure of feeling him topple over the edge first.

He came finally with a scream that probably shook the rafters, spilling between his belly and the table without a single care for how hard he would need to scrub that mess to sanitize the area later. By the time his vision was no longer full of white static he realized that Tobirama had followed him over the edge and was now draped across his back pressing messy kisses against the side of his neck.

“Fuck,” he mumbled tiredly.

“We did,” Tobirama agreed in a floaty sort of voice. “Are you tired? I am tired. I would like to nest now.”

“Nest?”

“…rest?” The questioning note in his voice said he was probably asking whether that word was more appropriate and that he wasn’t completely sure where he’d gone wrong. Still a little lost in his instincts, apparently.

Madara didn’t mind so much. With a sleepy smile he managed to tilt his head up to smile over one shoulder and say, “Help me clean up and you can nest here for the night.”

His answer was another purring sound and the slow drag of a soft cock slipping out of him.

Together they cleaned up both Madara and the table, Tobirama wiping himself down discreetly and shoving himself back in to his pants while Madara strutted around in the buff, happy to show off all the marks he had earned during their little romp. When everything was as tidy as they had the energy for he led the way down to his bedroom where they both made a cursory effort to rinse their mouths and faces in the bathroom before collapsing in to bed.

After a bit of squirming and resettling they eventually ended up with Madara lying on his side while Tobirama curled around him, several inches higher so he could bury his face in Madara's long mane while still holding him close with both arms.

“Mine,” he purred quietly. Madara shuddered pleasantly. That was one question answered.

“If you want me to be.”

“Mine.”

“Right. Glad that’s settled.” Madara closed his eyes and turned his head down towards the pillow a little more to hide the stupid grin on his face. Whoever the idiot was who had been stupid enough to catch Tobirama in a non-deadly jutsu that encouraged this sort of behavior, he would have to thank the man tomorrow.

And then kill him, of course, because if he belonged to Tobirama then it stood to reason that Tobirama also belong to him in turn and Madara always looked after his own.