#and I’m letting fester
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Having AU braunrot rn HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN i wanna rewrite and redraw Ungaikyo!Kei. I can make him better. I can fix him-💥
#The twst yokai au is wriggling in my head like a parasite#and I’m letting fester#no lobotomy needed#he’s staying in there for good#viper is rambling again
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i had a vision.
klance modern au, frequent gym-goer keith goes to the gym at ungodly hours in the morning, but something comes up at work and he ends up going to the gym muuuuuch later than normal
(ended up writing out more than i thought i would so read more under the cut 💀)
but the usual receptionist and his friend, allura probably, isn’t there since it’s so late and instead there’s some guy he doesn’t recognize on the afternoon/evening shift aka the one and only lance mcclain
and they keep stealing glances and not really saying anything at first
so keith adjusts his schedule to work out during the evenings more often (by coincidenceeee it was just a coincidence that his schedule shifted totaalllyy) to see this guy again
so allura finally texts him and is like “where have u been ?? are u sick??? u never skip the gym i haven’t seen u in a week” and he’s like “My job switched me to the morning shift so I go to the gym at night now.” or something (half-truth)
but allura already KNOWS because her work bestie won’t stop yapping on and on about the hot new guy with the mullet
do you guys see my vision
#if u read my fic then u know i’m a Sucker for ‘‘keith makes up excuses to see lance more often’’#but yeah !#i might make this into a comic or turn it into a fic or something !#or just let it fester in my brain#klance#klance modern au#vld#voltron#stal.txt
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just read this week’s chapters and i’m one HUNDRED percent hopping on the “Adolin is going to be Odium’s champion” train
#like can you IMAGINE the drama. THE TENSION. THE SHOWDOWN#THE ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY#like i’m already convinced adolin is gonna die. but him BECOMING ODIUM’S CHAMPION IS DIABOLICAL AND I DESPERATELY WANT IT TO HAPPEN#like. adolin letting his feelings toward dalinar fester and grow until they consume him. dalinar never making any attempt to reconcile#god. and just the canonical fact that adolin is the best swordsman in the entire series (to my recollection)#like adolin becoming odium’s champion is kinda the worst case scenario for literally everybody. which is why i think it would be DELICIOUS#sorry guys i’m a tragedy enjoyer#i don’t want my boy to die but if he dies as odium’s champion. well that’s a whole other story. i would EAT THAT UPPPPPPPP#he’s totally gonna be odium’s champion you guys#he has to be#i’m a believer#vin speaks#wat spoilers#wind and truth spoilers#wind and truth#the stormlight archive#stormlight archive spoilers#brandon sanderson#wat speculation
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hey do you guys think agatha was ever jealous of wanda? like, yes she is a power hungry witch and she takes power from the undeserving and she’s the biggest conwoman who ever lived but, in wandavision, she has that moment when the twins talk about raising sparky from the dead. her whole façade drops for a second when she asks “…you can do that?”
wanda is a being of spontaneous creation. chaos. agatha takes. and takes. and takes. she can’t create. agatha watches as wanda gets to create a false reality where everyone she loves is alive and she has a chance to see them again. agatha can’t do any of that. her powers are destructive. the only way she keeps nicky alive is through the ballad. which she uses to con and kill other witches.
#once again i Do think agatha holds the way she deals with grief over wanda. being able to ‘control’ it#agatha harkness#agatha all along#idk i’m just speaking into the void#to Me agatha is someone who doesn’t let a wound heal. she lets it fester and rot#anyways
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My dad killed the rooster today.
When my mom wanted chickens he insisted. He pushed, and pushed, and pushed.
Get a rooster.
Get a rooster.
Get a rooster.
He wanted the rooster. He begged for the rooster. He insisted on the rooster.
And my mom said
You will hate having a rooster. I do not want a rooster. He will be big. And he will be aggressive. And he will crow all the time.
Get a rooster.
Get a rooster.
Get a rooster.
So she did. And he was a chick. He was small, and his feathers were downy, and you couldn’t tell him from the hens without looking.
What if he’s a runt.
What if he dies in his youth.
What if, what if, he’s not much of a rooster at all.
But he grew. Up up up. Until he was everything that was expected of him.
He was big.
And aggressive.
And he crowed all the time.
That was his crime. Being what he was supposed to be. He was as advertised.
He
Was
A
Rooster.
And my dad hated him. He hated that rooster from the first crow.
Too loud.
Too loud.
Too loud.
And my mom said
I told you you would hate the rooster.
Yet the tune changed. It didn’t matter anymore. Everything that the rooster was there for didn’t matter. He was too loud.
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
Every day. On loop, a CD with a skip in it. Get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
We can sell him. We can put him out on marketplace. We can set him free. Please. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get RID OF IT.
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
We can just get rid of it. Please. Please. Get rid of it. We can sell him. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it.
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
Kill the rooster.
We don’t have to.
I wonder how long it took to go get the gun.
To walk away, and find it, and load the bullets.
How long it took to go back outside.
And find the rooster.
Did he take it away from the hens first?
Or did they have to watch.
I wonder if he bellowed, if he crowed a last time.
If he committed one final crime, of being who he was supposed to be.
Or if he had no idea at all. If he didn’t even have the chance.
And I think about the feathers. If they gusted away on the breeze. Of if they stuck, downy, into the wound.
Did the blood spatter back onto my dads hands. Did it stain him, was it sticky, and hot, and fresh with life.
And I wonder what he did with his limp body. But I know the answer. And I don’t want to.
He got thrown away.
#poetry#writing#freeform poetry#writing stuff#not sdv#I’m processing some stuff honestly#not sure if I should post#definitely not sure if this should go on main#but I’m posting it anyway because I need to#I can’t let it fester in me#dark poetry#dark poem#tw death#tw
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I’m feeling wild and shaking the old man like a bag of chocolates:
who wants to smooch as long as you accept the fact that the old man is old, in his grayces phase, and will probably up and vanish on you the moment he find a way back home cuz his family’s priority one and the god-killer’s priority two.
#Stabbing void’s probably tied withe priority one#I’m at work so letting this fester#ooc post is ooc
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ummmm um old wild ranger lu yi wip that i will never finish bc lineart actually takes years off my life
#dislyte#dislyte fanart#lu yi dislyte#dislyte lu yi#this is like six months old but my style is still just similar enough that i’m willing to let it see the light of day#rip to every wip festering bc i can’t be bothered to do lineart#anyways i was so excited for lu yi lone ranger skin bc they started out so good but then i saw the full art and i audibly hissed#the camo bow is not working get him out of those ruched leggings and what the HELL is going on with his shoes#looking like car boots on his feet free my boy#digital art#wip#artists on tumblr
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lord the way people are acting in this content drought makes me wonder how we lasted nine years last time.
#i was originally taking a break cause i needed to but wanted to be back but now i’m intentionally gonna stay off until tour kicks back up#it’s like. really bad on here right now. and i love mcr and my mutuals too much to let it fester on here so i’m consuming content like#i did from 2013-2020. alone in my room and texting my friends#ANYWAY. if you are a mutual and you’d like my discord i’m just as Me as ever so send me a msg and i’d love to talk !!!
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Feelin kinda livid rn 🙂
rant/vent ig, it might not make sense bc idk if im ready to share the context yet
Oh. My. Gosh.
This woman is claiming to have mine, and my sisters best interests in mind. But her actions are completely different than her claims.
what about getting rid of extremely sentimental items from someone incredibly important and hoping we wouldn’t notice is our best interest in mind.
I AM SO DONE WITH THIS.
I don’t like being angry and I don’t get angry often, but I am absolutely infuriated and fed up right now.
The way this woman is treating us like infants and like we don’t understand what is going on simply because we are minors is enraging.
That is not her stuff to get rid of, it’s OURS.
That jewelry is INCREDIBLY SENTIMENTAL.
And she already tried selling it.
She wanted to turn my mom’s wedding ring and necklace into one piece of jewelry for me and my siblings to share, without asking us first.
Once you fuse them into one piece of jewelry, there is no going back.
I am so grateful that my dad and our lawyer caught it quick enough to tell her to stop.
The biggest issue is, this isn’t the only instance of her blatantly ignoring our wishes, and going on with what she thinks my mom wanted.
She has explicitly said that she’s worried our dad is manipulating us to get things that belong to us, when he has shown no want to do so and should not be her priority.
If she would just talk to us and not treat us like we don’t exist or like our opinion isn’t that important, she would understand how angry this makes us.
We could have been done with this almost a year ago.
But no, it has to be dragged out and we have to loose money because of it.
At this point, me, H, and my older sister (two youngest don’t really understand the severity of the situation, nor do they particularly care) have told out dad that we fully want to take her to court.
My older sister has said she wants to give this woman a piece of her mind and that she’s considering suing her when she becomes an adult.
I’m just angry.
#🌾#sorry#had to get that out of my system bc I know I shouldn’t let it fester#She clearly does not really care.#Also#very sorry for no context#I’m afraid the only one who has the context is Larz :/
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#having a time again#I fucking hate rsd#I hate just feeling the overwhelming urge to go scorched earth and abandon everyone and everything I’ve ever known#I thought I had it under control and it got triggered again recently#and it leaves me fucking exhausted and regretting all my life decisions in the end#hate fucking relapsing#hate being unable to read people’s minds#being built fucking Wrong#and having people hate me for reasons I’m not even Aware of because I can’t pick up on it and no one just fucking Talks#no one just Says when they’re bothered they let it fester and then it’s My fault#I didn’t Completely burn this bridge yet but god I am staring at it with a lighter and gasoline in hand#all that’s stopping me is that what I’m about to burn meant and still does mean a lot to me but#I can’t keep fucking doing this#it always ends like this#it never fucking changes and I don’t know why I bother I should stay in my little hole Alone where no one can hurt me#and I can’t accidentally hurt anyone else#idk man#having a fucking time#and maybe I shouldn’t even be Talking about it here#becuase who cares it’s social media#but if I don’t spill my guts Somewhere then I’ll fucking explode and cut ties with Everyone in my life at a trigger’s notice#and I need to pour this out somewhere Else#so I Don’t do something I know is Bad#in a moment of fucking rsd anxiety panic attack#lays down under my rock and dies#becomes a mushroom#if I’m a mushroom I’ll have no more problems#the mushroom hive mind will understand me and I will understand the mushroom hive mind
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maybe you should go to therapy
I have, that’s why i don’t have anxiety or depression anymore. it’s actually some asshole living in my head named Clarence who hates my guts and wants me to feel lonely and shitty all the time. Sucks for him because I love myself and I’m amazing and nothing he ever said is true.
#ask#anonymous#is this because I posted about an anxiety spiral? dude calm down#no amount of therapy will ever stop me from having them but I can cope with them and move on with my life#also Clarence is literally what I call my negative and irrational demonstrably false#thoughts like my friends hate me or I’m abusing my cat. it’s not true and it’s easier to deal with by blaming something outside myself#rather than letting it fester and argue with my own head
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inexperienced at processing feelings but fuck it, I’m doing my best!
#gf and her friend/coworker#who has expressed interest in us before#made out tonight (hot!!)#and gf called and asked me if it was okay and like yes ofc get it!!#but I’m really glad she asked me it literally means the world#and I’m genuinely so happy for her and so glad people are finally appreciating her <3#but also I’m feeling a tad bit insecure#but ykw I took the class at my local dungeon!! I’ve talked to the experienced poly people in my community!!#it’s completely normal to feel insecure or jealous#it’s just a matter of addressing it healthily and understanding why you feel that way#and I did it!!#and at the end of the day I know she loves me and I love her#and that’s really all that matters 💕#personal#I’m just rlly proud of myself guys I’ve been bad at dealing with emotions my whole life#but km working really hard to address them and not let them fester and im making progress!!
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you know what i think some people just need to grow the fuck up and learn the difference between confrontation and direct communication why are you acting like i’m an arsehole for pointing out the fact that you are wrong. sorry for not tiptoeing awkwardly behind your back to try and sort the problem out on my own instead of cutting it off at the source and explaining to you clearly and maturely why it would be more efficient for you to stop doing the thing you are doing. god
#someone asked us to stop prioritising alphabetising client files#and i said what’s the point in us spending so much time printing all of these files if we don’t alphabetise them correctly#because if we don’t do that the clients won’t be able to find their files because they might not be alphabetised correctly#which IS what will happen because it happened last year#so i asked him why we are bothering to print all of this stuff if we arent going to store them in a way that enables the clients to actuall#find them#and he was fine about it but after he left my colleagues were like :0#and they weren’t mad they were just like omg i can’t believe you said that to him#YOU GUYS AGREED WITH ME THOUGH. you were complaining about the exact same thing yesterday#sorry for actually saying out loud so that we could address it and fix it#why am i being made to feel like i’m mental#i think it’s mental to not ever say what you fucking think and let it fester as passive aggressive brain bumf
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I know some people are talking about Sally and Barry attempting to emulate their mentors in certain situations, which backfires on them, but I don’t think Barry gave up on trying to be Fuches halfway through. Actually, it was a perfect impression. When he started screaming down the line at Hank, it’s because that’s what Fuches does. Whenever Barry tells him firmly that it’s over and he’s not going to help Fuches anymore, Fuches loses his shit; he yells at Barry that he’s pathetic, he won’t survive without him, when I find you motherfucker! Barry’s mistake was failing to recognise that Hank isn’t him. Hank respects himself, genuinely cares about other people and, most importantly, won’t degrade himself just to feel like somebody loves him. But Barry absolutely would and, with all his other damage, that’s why he’s furious that Hank somehow says no to him.
#barry will always walk on his knees for a hundred miles through the desert#but Hank will let the soft animal of his body love what it loves#and he would never ever do himself damage for somebody to use him. Barry always does#I’m not defending Barry btw I’m not that vein of Barry fan I hope he explodes in an explosion and fuches and maybe gene comes with <3#but Barry has never been loved unselfishly. never been loved by somebody not using him. so he understands love as sacrifice and pain ONLY#love is not gentle. love is a thousand tiny needles. love is their teeth embedded in your heart#so when Hank - who knows love can be both sacrifice and tenderness that you expose the worst of you and have it kissed and not cut open -#when he doesn’t adhere to this system Barry has in his head (when he basically says ‘no. this not how love or the world really works.’)#Barry fucking loses it. The way Fuches loses it. because to them love is pain and if they don’t hurt you they don’t love you#and if they hurt you (no matter how awfully) then you forgive them in the end. you get to be a little upset. but you always go back. always#but Hank won’t and he doesn’t need to! he is loved openly and honestly and any pain comes from having to grow and understand not from abuse#and Barry loathes him for it. he hates it. and he’s never going to get out and he’ll never be free. he is sick sick sick#and there’s not a cure in the world for it anymore#not when he let it fester and get worse and worse and worse. and now it’s over before it’s over.#ANYWAYYYYT#barry#barry hbo#monroe fuches#noho hank#barry berkman#edit: yeah turns out Hank will also kill it though. oops!
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guys in very very exciting news my mom found an art therapist in our area who is apparently over the moon to work with me. she wants to take me to a museum as my first appointment
#for those of you who are not apprised of my therapy journey:#i have been to literally everyone and talk therapy straight up does not work bc i’m too self aware + i’m really good at dodging questions#my last therapist was the only one that was any good and the main benefit of going to her was smth to get me out of the house once a week#so like. a while ago she let me go because she was like ‘i am not helping you. i can tell i’m not helping you’#which was totally true and i respect her for knowing that.#so now i’ve been festering in the wilderness of my room 24/7 with nothing but my autistic support group going for me#in terms of activities anyways#do you guys know how much being unemployed sucks psychologically?
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‘this bond will last for eternity. i won’t tolerate betrayals or running away.’
——
so speaking of kuukou probably has attachment issues in the form of being too attached, he has this arb line lmao
i revisited the kiyohime legend, and in some iterations of the legend, she specifically turns into a dragon of rage after she tried to cross a river and died to follow someone she loved who promised her he’d stay by her side, but only did so in order to escape her. makes me think this legend really is kuukou’s blueprint lol 🤔
#vee queued to fill the void#my brain has so much going on about kuukou lol if it feels like i’ve been talking in circles you’re right!!!!!#i’m circling around a kuukou topic i have so many bits and pieces to but can’t concretely piece them together so i’m super focused on it lo#like point of interest for this thought are:#kuukou relating to the mc in arb main story because his mentor left without a word#and maybe not so oddly enough but kuukou consoling hitoya to let the anger go#like yeah arb isn’t canon but it’s a story based on what canon has to offer#which means kuukou again relates to people who’ve been left behind because it’s core to his character (despite him not talking about it lol#it’s been a VERY long while since i said kuukou sometimes doesn’t put the money where his mouth is lol#but i wonder if him preaching to hitoya to move on is contradictory to what he’s keeping to himself#mr ‘you’re not allowed to leave me or betray me we are forever’ lol#is bat’s brand of codependency about to fck me up lmao#this looks like a festering sadness and anger towards someone that deeply hurt him by leaving and refuses to go thru it again#lol kinda relatedly i am so amused that kuukou’s fursona might be because he vibed with a story of an angry lady’s lovesickness#kuukou looked at this angry dragon lady and said kin LMAO#c: kuukou👑
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