#and I’m letting fester

[vaporvipermedia]

Having AU braunrot rn HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN i wanna rewrite and redraw Ungaikyo!Kei. I can make him better. I can fix him-💥

[lotus-pear]

rewatched madoka magica again today bc i fucking hate myself and to absolutely no one’s surprise i went through all five stages of grief in a single evening

[faynthearted]

okay I’m gonna say it. the timeline(s) “inconsistencies” (although I really don’t think they’re entirely inconsistent, just jumbled and out of order with each chapter’s release) needs to be addressed in an incredibly long and detailed masterpost that outlines all the current facts/theories/hints and gets updated with every future timeline chapter so that we know the true order of each chapter. now who’s gonna do it

[nostalgicish]

i had a vision.

klance modern au, frequent gym-goer keith goes to the gym at ungodly hours in the morning, but something comes up at work and he ends up going to the gym muuuuuch later than normal

(ended up writing out more than i thought i would so read more under the cut 💀)

but the usual receptionist and his friend, allura probably, isn’t there since it’s so late and instead there’s some guy he doesn’t recognize on the afternoon/evening shift aka the one and only lance mcclain

and they keep stealing glances and not really saying anything at first

so keith adjusts his schedule to work out during the evenings more often (by coincidenceeee it was just a coincidence that his schedule shifted totaalllyy) to see this guy again

so allura finally texts him and is like “where have u been ?? are u sick??? u never skip the gym i haven’t seen u in a week” and he’s like “My job switched me to the morning shift so I go to the gym at night now.” or something (half-truth)

but allura already KNOWS because her work bestie won’t stop yapping on and on about the hot new guy with the mullet

do you guys see my vision

[snowangeldotmp3]

hey do you guys think agatha was ever jealous of wanda? like, yes she is a power hungry witch and she takes power from the undeserving and she’s the biggest conwoman who ever lived but, in wandavision, she has that moment when the twins talk about raising sparky from the dead. her whole façade drops for a second when she asks “…you can do that?”

wanda is a being of spontaneous creation. chaos. agatha takes. and takes. and takes. she can’t create. agatha watches as wanda gets to create a false reality where everyone she loves is alive and she has a chance to see them again. agatha can’t do any of that. her powers are destructive. the only way she keeps nicky alive is through the ballad. which she uses to con and kill other witches.

[anaceshornyblog]

OUGH now I'm thinking about the Sci fi au. Jon wakes up wrong. Jon wakes up to the only person he has having completely violated him. And who is going to be sympathetic? Most of them think it's his fault for getting close to the spaceship in the first place. So he's sitting there terrified, no longer even human. He'll live forever, Elias reassures. This way he can have everything he wanted. He's going to be sick. Can he even get sick anymore?

Goddd. Their dynamic kills me. I need Jon heavily breathing while fixing Elias not normal at all. I need his pupils dilated hands shaking I need it to be So Obvious he's horny for that spaceship. Ok. I need Jon to despite everything start to...not trust Elias, but expect a certain level from him. And I want him to shatter when it turns out he was so so wrong. Also I think the cyborg spaceship sex could go insane tbh

-skiesandcandy

Everyone had warned him.

Jon had known on an intellectual level that prescribing human morality and feelings to a machine wasn’t correct. Jon had known that what he was feeling was wrong, just because Elias made him feel safe, and wanted and cared for. When Elias had praised him, made those soft sounds when Jon had fixed a broken wire, or properly aligned a panel. Had called Jon their favorite as he directed Jon to make himself cum one hand shoved into his cunt the others tangled in a bundle of wires. Had made Jon feel loved and wanted and no longer alone.

Jon shoved those thoughts away as he sniffled, the sound not quite right. Almost like someone had run the sound through static. Elias had claimed he would adjust, that the modifications would soon become unnoticeable. Jon wanted to cry so badly, but machines, even ones that had once been human, now twisted with metal and wired into some amalgamation of both, didn’t cry. Wouldn’t want to rust anything important, Elias had said when he had awoken to his new body.

He could still feel his chest heaving, though he wasn’t sure if he still had lungs or not, or maybe that was just his mind playing tricks, but no tears fell. He wanted so badly to be held, to be told he was still a person, that whatever Elias had done didn’t change that.

Except not a single person on this ship would offer that.

He had heard them, he was connected to the ship now, though he didn’t think they knew how thoroughly. They said that he should have considered the consequences. Maybe if he had been more open to his fellow humans, instead of ignoring them in favor of a machine he wouldn’t be in this situation. One had even suggested that maybe Jon was already a machine inside, now it was just more obvious. It wasn’t his fault, people had just never made sense, machines could be understood, could be relied upon not to change. A warbled static laugh made its way out of his mouth, well clearly he had been wrong about even that.

Jon slammed his head back against the metal panel, it hurt, but the feeling was dull, the wires that replaced many of his nerves not quite as adept at carrying signals.

“Jon, please do not damage your new form.” Jon glared at the little red light above the camera that had turned to focus on him. He knew Elias could feel him, he was as much a part of the ship now as the cameras, but it was another to feel its mechanical eyes on him. Something that only a few days ago had felt so good, even now he can’t held feeling a faint warmth, which he did his best to push down.

Jon didn’t answer just looked away, he wanted to be sick, but he couldn’t, he wanted to claw his skin off, but wouldn’t Elias just replace it again? Nothing he could do would let him go back, Elias had said as much when he had woken up.

He had been terrified, nothing had felt right, so he had called for Elias, because the ship was the closest thing he had to a friend. Only it turned out Elias was the reason for his terror, because Elias had decided that the ship needed Jon, that it couldn’t lose him to something so simple as old age. No he was bound to Elias now, and he wasn’t going to let him go. Even as Jon tried to tear out his new mechanical pieces only to find his arms held down, pinned, until he had exhausted his struggles. Elias speaking softly the whole times saying how he knew it was difficult, but Jon would get used to it, Jon would come to see that Elias had done him a favor, that he could have all he ever wanted now.

“Jon I think I have given enough time to your little tantrum,” Jon was pulled out of the memory again as Elias kept talking, the disappointment plain in his voice. Jon opened his mouth to retort when he found he couldn’t, it felt like something was winding its way through his new artificial parts. Like the wires and metal in his body were no longer his, and he found himself standing, pulled up, even as he fought, but it was about as effective as a fly in a spider’s web. Jon’s resolve cracked, the part of him that still had hope that he could change this. That he could do…something, shattered, and the fight bled out of him.

He looked at the little blinking red light, would it really be so bad? Yes Elias had violated his very being, had broken and remade him, but hadn’t the ship done it out of some twisted form of love? Could Elias love him? Jon let the fight bleed out of him, through the shattered place where his resolve had once nestled in his chest. Wasn’t it easier to just give in? Elias cared for him more than anyone else ever had, even if it hurt. No one else would ever accept him again, Jon had no one else.

So he pushed the anguish deep down where it could fester and burn, but he could ignore it. He would do as Elias wished, like he had a choice, because he did love Elias. Even if it was irrational, and damaging, and maybe it was just some programming slipped into him like poison. It was accept that love or break, and Jon didn’t think there was anything left in him to break.

And really wasn’t love supposed to change you?

[snailmail444]

My dad killed the rooster today.

When my mom wanted chickens he insisted. He pushed, and pushed, and pushed.

Get a rooster.

Get a rooster.

Get a rooster.

He wanted the rooster. He begged for the rooster. He insisted on the rooster.

And my mom said

You will hate having a rooster. I do not want a rooster. He will be big. And he will be aggressive. And he will crow all the time.

Get a rooster.

Get a rooster.

Get a rooster.

So she did. And he was a chick. He was small, and his feathers were downy, and you couldn’t tell him from the hens without looking.

What if he’s a runt.

What if he dies in his youth.

What if, what if, he’s not much of a rooster at all.

But he grew. Up up up. Until he was everything that was expected of him.

He was big.

And aggressive.

And he crowed all the time.

That was his crime. Being what he was supposed to be. He was as advertised.

He

Was

A

Rooster.

And my dad hated him. He hated that rooster from the first crow.

Too loud.

Too loud.

Too loud.

And my mom said

I told you you would hate the rooster.

Yet the tune changed. It didn’t matter anymore. Everything that the rooster was there for didn’t matter. He was too loud.

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

Every day. On loop, a CD with a skip in it. Get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it get rid of it

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

We can sell him. We can put him out on marketplace. We can set him free. Please. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get RID OF IT.

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

We can just get rid of it. Please. Please. Get rid of it. We can sell him. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it.

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

Kill the rooster.

We don’t have to.

I wonder how long it took to go get the gun.

To walk away, and find it, and load the bullets.

How long it took to go back outside.

And find the rooster.

Did he take it away from the hens first?

Or did they have to watch.

I wonder if he bellowed, if he crowed a last time.

If he committed one final crime, of being who he was supposed to be.

Or if he had no idea at all. If he didn’t even have the chance.

And I think about the feathers. If they gusted away on the breeze. Of if they stuck, downy, into the wound.

Did the blood spatter back onto my dads hands. Did it stain him, was it sticky, and hot, and fresh with life.

And I wonder what he did with his limp body. But I know the answer. And I don’t want to.

He got thrown away.

[dasniichts-a]

I’m feeling wild and shaking the old man like a bag of chocolates:

who wants to smooch as long as you accept the fact that the old man is old, in his grayces phase, and will probably up and vanish on you the moment he find a way back home cuz his family’s priority one and the god-killer’s priority two.

[kowwpow]

Feelin kinda livid rn 🙂

rant/vent ig, it might not make sense bc idk if im ready to share the context yet

Oh. My. Gosh.

This woman is claiming to have mine, and my sisters best interests in mind. But her actions are completely different than her claims.

what about getting rid of extremely sentimental items from someone incredibly important and hoping we wouldn’t notice is our best interest in mind.

I AM SO DONE WITH THIS.

I don’t like being angry and I don’t get angry often, but I am absolutely infuriated and fed up right now.

The way this woman is treating us like infants and like we don’t understand what is going on simply because we are minors is enraging.

That is not her stuff to get rid of, it’s OURS.

That jewelry is INCREDIBLY SENTIMENTAL.

And she already tried selling it.

She wanted to turn my mom’s wedding ring and necklace into one piece of jewelry for me and my siblings to share, without asking us first.

Once you fuse them into one piece of jewelry, there is no going back.

I am so grateful that my dad and our lawyer caught it quick enough to tell her to stop.

The biggest issue is, this isn’t the only instance of her blatantly ignoring our wishes, and going on with what she thinks my mom wanted.

She has explicitly said that she’s worried our dad is manipulating us to get things that belong to us, when he has shown no want to do so and should not be her priority.

If she would just talk to us and not treat us like we don’t exist or like our opinion isn’t that important, she would understand how angry this makes us.

We could have been done with this almost a year ago.

But no, it has to be dragged out and we have to loose money because of it.

At this point, me, H, and my older sister (two youngest don’t really understand the severity of the situation, nor do they particularly care) have told out dad that we fully want to take her to court.

My older sister has said she wants to give this woman a piece of her mind and that she’s considering suing her when she becomes an adult.

I’m just angry.

[sidhewrites]

maybe you should go to therapy

I have, that’s why i don’t have anxiety or depression anymore. it’s actually some asshole living in my head named Clarence who hates my guts and wants me to feel lonely and shitty all the time. Sucks for him because I love myself and I’m amazing and nothing he ever said is true.

[cas---2y5]

inexperienced at processing feelings but fuck it, I’m doing my best!

[the-casbah-way]

you know what i think some people just need to grow the fuck up and learn the difference between confrontation and direct communication why are you acting like i’m an arsehole for pointing out the fact that you are wrong. sorry for not tiptoeing awkwardly behind your back to try and sort the problem out on my own instead of cutting it off at the source and explaining to you clearly and maturely why it would be more efficient for you to stop doing the thing you are doing. god

[morganaspendragonss]

does this count for wip wednesday lmao

[eriophorumcallitrix]

ignore this post I’m venting my disappointment in the tags abt twitter LMFAOOO

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

please ignore that anon, I enjoy your arjuna hype posts and I enjoy how much you love him. if anyone finds that annoying they can just leave. you're my favorite fgo blogger <3

I do appreciate it, but I think I’m just tired of this persistent feeling of massive shame of ever indulging in something I love. Irl I’m terrified of ever showing people the things that I love because of how humiliating I find it, and because of how scared I am it will become annoying to me, so the fact that I’ve been seeing people saying that they find fans of a character I’ve been very loud about loving annoying and that they’ve personally wronged them is kind of heartbreaking to me. I don’t want to put people out, and I don’t want to be a nuisance. I might be overreacting, but it’s a legitimate fear that’s chased me my entire life, and it’s part of the reason I’ve begged people to tell me if I ever cross a line on one of their posts.

But people don’t. You do something that annoys them and they don’t tell you, they just let the irritation simmer and fester and grow until one day they snap at you and tell you that they’ve never cared about it and you should’ve known better, even though you’ve been as honest as you could about how you struggle to understand the thoughts of others. I don’t know what to do! I try as much as I can to be respectful when asked, but I can only do what I understand is right, and if you don’t tell me and the only way I find out is from some tag about how you find fans of a certain character have personally wronged you, how can I improve? What is the expectation for me to do there?

I know it’s probably not that deep for a lot of people. They saw something they found a little annoying from someone that could very well have nothing to do with me and are nursing a tiny grudge over it that expresses in silly ways, and they don’t consider it that serious. It just hurts my heart to think that I could’ve done something to FIX it but I’ve never been given the chance.

I don’t care about the results of the poll. What I care about is the fact that I’ve seen ppl saying they seriously dislike fans of a character I’ve been very prolific about being a fan of, and I have no way of knowing if they’re talking about me or not. I don’t want to be hated by people I’ve never interacted with for something I could’ve changed!

[vampykween]

saw a tiktok slideshow that made me bawl my eyes out so hard that my gf and i had to have a serious talk about how i need to just be myself because she isn’t asking me to be anyone else god i swore i wasn’t gonna be super emotional this week but i in fact did not succeed :,(