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casliveblog · 2 years ago

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Custom Toonami Block Week 140 Rundown

Spy X Family: Right where we left off in the ‘if you fake married people love each other then kiss’ debacle and for some reason as popular as this trope is, the kiss almost never goes through like I guess it’s to get around the weird implications of having a developing relationship’s first PDI be manufactured but it’s still always kinda weird that it’s just a drama spike that fizzles 90% of the time. Luckily Yuri’s way too fucked up with his sister complex to actually let it happen and Yor’s way too shitfaced to not just beat the shit out of him when he tries to stop her from boning Loid right then and there but we’re not in Chainsaw Man yet so we’re not gonna have two characters fuck in front of each other in a weird twisted triangle of misdirected emotions. It’s kinda funny how Yuri’s so fucked on the incest angle and jealous of Loid that Loid’s also jealous of the seamless trust and dependence Yuri and Yor have for each other since he’s never been able to trust a single person in his life. Furthermore the next morning Loid mulls over suspicions that Yor may have a tenuous connection with the government too since Yuri’s a stormtrooper and though he thinks it’s unlikely his professionalism forces him to not rule it out. Anya hears him thinking and desperately wants to tell him to trust Yor but she can’t think of a casual way to do it without blowing her secret so she has to back down which breaks my heart a bit though she does manage to give them a cryptic message of encouragement. Still Loid bugs Yor to try and figure her out and turns out Yor’s just having an existential crisis about not being all that great with domestic skills and her fucking toxic coworkers aren’t helping so Loid does what every sane person would do… dress up like a stormtrooper and threaten your wife with jailtime unless she tries to use a familial connection to nepotize her way out of the situation, you know, the normal reaction. Turns out Yor’s fists are stronger than any nepotism so there’s no issue and when Loid comes back to hear how genuine Yor’s worries were he destroys the bug and tells her regardless of what the social construct of an ideal wife should do, she’s doing great with the things she’s good at and Anya loves her and their family is stronger because of her. Anya comes home and IMMEDIATELY realizes they’ve made up despite the only fight going on in their minds and everybody has cake, good ending.

Inuyasha: We’re finally back in canon territory but honestly this is the stretch of canon that feels the most like filler, we’ve finally hit the Hakudoshi arc, the point in the series where the author went ‘well we can’t kill Naraku yet but having him just dip out of the story for long stretches of time isn’t quite working so I’ll make a secondary villain for them to chase around for a while’. And it’s not like it’s all bad it’s just very obviously trying to buy for time after the Band of Seven arc which was in-universe just buying for time. But yeah Kagura and Baby are still going around murdering monks until they come across the one dude that sealed a giant fire demon horse whose rider is supposed to be able to conquer the world and he is like the strongest monk around… prolly shoulda started with him if we’re being honest then he wouldn’t know people are coming to kill him. Though it is kinda nice this monk actually has a bit of fight in him and is able to block some of Kagura’s attacks and split the Baby in half, like I’m just so used to anyone outside the main cast being absolutely useless at this point it’s like watching DBZ and seeing Tien cockblock Semi-Perfect Cell it’s refreshing. Though without the monk the demon horse is free and can literally outrun Inuyasha’s Wind Scar so we’re kinda fucked there and also both halves of the Baby are still alive and apparently this was all part of his plan somehow so cool I guess.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Now that Sensui’s gangster personality has a tommygun to Yusuke’s head, Koenma shows up to take out his pacifier which apparently creates a demon shield several times stronger than the existing demon shield that will also seal Sensui away and Koenma since he feels responsible for Sensui decides to be sealed away too. It’s basically a once in a millennium ‘get out of demon invasion free’ card and apparently it’s supposed to be used for the actual Armageddon but Koenma figures if Sensui destroys everything here there’s no point and they have a better chance of figuring something else out when Armageddon comes than pretending like Sensui’s plan isn’t a problem, you’d think the shield would last regardless but I guess it’s more of a patch than something that reinforces the whole thing. Yusuke stops him, having used the Spirit Wave to heal while they were talking because the Spirit Wave is so ill-defined it might as well do anything why not. He’s motivated part by wanting to save the lifeline for when they really need it and part by fucking pettiness and wanting to finish what he started so he lives out the American Dream and punches his boss in the fucking face. Meanwhile he punches Sensui’s mafia boss ass in the fucking stomach and is like ‘just cause you’re cruel doesn’t mean you’re strong’ which makes sense like this personality is the most likely to get in cheap shots or be cutthroat but that doesn’t mean it’s the most well-equipped for actual fighting, kind of the opposite actually since he’s only there to do the dirty work against things Sensui knows he can beat. This forces the real Sensui out who does the whole Shonen Final Boss stomp all over Yusuke. It’s kinda funny the way they portray Sensui Prime as ‘pure’ because he foisted all of his crimes and even personal expression onto his other personalities because he can’t cope with life being complicated but still condones all the evil shit they do, like it’s supposed to be a ‘pure is not good’ trope but it kinda just comes off as dumb hypocritical nonsense like he’s still enabling everything and even doing it with his own hands he’s just dissociating REALLY hard while doing it. Feel like the psychiatric angle to this is well-meaning and not the worst but still feel like if this was done today it would need a little tweaking.

Jujutsu Kaisen: Junpei Yoshino is an average kid that no one understands, he’s also the witness to the Big Bad giving the three movie theater kids Curse Cancer while they’re watching the latest Human Centipede movie and wants to know how he can be cool and punish bullies by turning their heads into misshapen gourds too. Meanwhile Kento and Yuji are sent to go investigate who made the attacks and clean up the mooks they left behind. Kento’s a pretty fun character and he’s basically the epitome of the ‘sorry for flying off the handle like that’ meme with the power of FRACTIONS, so that’s pretty cool. Yuji also shows off that he basically has a double punch now which reminds me of Kensei’s Bankai from Bleach so it’s cool that he gets to do shit now that he has an actual powerset and isn’t just swinging around a magical knife. Turns out the mooks they were killing though were actually human zombies like the cancer bullies and they were technically dead before they showed up so Yuji doesn’t have to deal with any moral implications of killing people though because he’s Yuji that doesn’t quite wipe his conscience clean even though it does adhere to the weird shonen protagonist standard of not being allowed to kill humans despite slaying demons which just seems kinda racist against sentient demons. Junpei seems to be getting lessons from the Big Bad in the sewers on how to be evil which if I’m not mistaken was literally the plot of the last Halloween movie for some reason, and he mentions Special Grade Potential Cursed Spirits which basically seem to be the Devils from Chainsaw Man so you could plausibly make the connection that Chainsaw Man is an alternate universe of Jujutsu Kaisen where they fucked up and the curse spirits got everywhere. But yeah Big Bad dude is apparently the fear humanity has for itself which may be extremely powerful or may just be him being edgy, hard to tell at this point. But yeah Yuji’s sent on busy work to go track down Junpei while Kento goes to jump the big bad’s lair which you’d think they could afford more sorcerers for given we’ve got 6-8 of them from the last episode basically just sitting in a field working out for a Sports Festival but whatever.

Chainsaw Man: While Himeno’s Ghost Devil gets its ass kicked by the Snake Devil, her last act of strength lets her base ghost hand pull Denji’s cord to wake him up, you know every guy needs a good ghost yank to get going. He fights Katana Man for a bit and tries to take a hostage from the enemy side but Katana Man just does the anime thing where he appears behind them and has cut them both in half. If this dude has absorbed all the anime bullshit that has been poured into katanas over the past few decades then we really are screwed. Meanwhile Makima apparently used Gold Experience Requiem and just went ‘no’ to being fucking shot and apparently Contracted the Death Note Devil because not only does she pull a page out of L’s book and murder convicted death row inmates to catch the current bad guys but she’s able to kill the convicts and have their lives connect to the mooks currently doing the shootings. Though given some of the mooks were already dead and Makima had exactly enough convicts to do the job idk how she knew how many she needed given she said to get thirty convicts and they only used like twelve of them. So everyone but Katana Man and Snake Girl are dead and they’re trying to load Denji’s torso up when out of fucking nowhere comes KOBENI, she got her coworker killed and murdered a mafia granny so we’ve hit her trauma threshold and now she gonna bring down the power of the Sloppy Blowjob Devil on these motherfuckers and fucks them both the hell up and saves Denji, like damn girl nice job. One of the survivors meets Makima on the return trip and says that basically 90% of the human hunters are dead and they’ve just mashed all the remaining peeps into one squad directly under Makima herself, also he’s quitting because fuck he was not in this for a Godfather montage. But also he says she predicted at least part of this would happen and wants answers and she’s just like ‘bitch you don’t work for me anymore I don’t owe you shit’. Meanwhile Kobeni’s working on her character arc and apologizing to half of Denji for trying to kill him at the first sign of any kind of mental stress.

Ranking of Kings: Bosse!Daida tells Hilling about who he is and how he’s bodysnatched their son’s body to cheat death and Hilling gives the only appropriate response and passes the fuck out. We then get a flashback with Hilling’s bodyguard watching her clumsy attempts to relate to Bojji and how he eventually became endeared towards her and accept his job to be her shield which is good considering there’s three chimera beasts about to jump in her room and kill her. Dude fucking beats the shit out of them before almost dying though thankfully his charge is also one of the best healing magicians in the fucking world so he’s fine. Meanwhile Bosse!Daida and Miranjo are ruminating on how their plan didn’t work and Bosse is weirdly blasé about it like he’s not trying to stop Miranjo’s plans in any way and seems to support her but doesn’t seem too thrilled about how things are going and doesn’t want to be doing what he’s doing but is also making no effort at all to stop it so yeah he just gonna do a moonlight puppet dance with his third mirror wife I guess, sure. Hilling confronts him about, you know, trying to kill her, and while he’s busy giving non-answers, Daida can hear her voice from inside him and she can hear his and it’s a really touching moment until Hilling’s about to fucking stab Bosse!Daida in the chest to get Daida!Daida out and literally no one thinks that’ll work so they knock her out. Bosse!Daida tells her bodyguard to flee the country with her if he wants her to live and wait for Bojji to finish his training since for some reason he has faith that he will be the key to all this.

Vinland Saga: The time for the war between Denmark and England has come and Askeladd’s crew find themselves literally trying to make London Bridge fall down. Apparently the commander of the English is a former Viking named Thorkell and he’s just like… two and a half dudes tall and sinks ships by throwing fucking cabers at them. So Floki comes and is like ‘man the English are pussies, come back to us and we’ll pay you double’ and Thorkell’s like ‘The English ARE pussies but that’s why slaughtering them all would be no fun so I’mma stay here and fight some real men, you fucking guys.’ But he says it in Norse so his English subordinates can’t understand him which made me laugh. Askeladd goes with Plan A which at this point is always ‘throw Thorfinn at it and get the hell out if things look tough’ and Thorfinn does give Thorkell a good fight and takes two of his fingers but dude’s just too big and strong for Thorfinn’s tiny knives and kicks his ass but lets him dip himself off the bridge and thanks him for the fight. Meanwhile the King of Denmark is just like ‘man this is taking too long, how long should it take to sieg one of the most defensively capable cities on the planet? Like a week?’ and sends 4/5ths of the navy to other parts of England and lets his greenhorn son who we established last time is basically only here so the Vikings don’t think he’s a little bitch be in charge of the sieg of London. So Thorfinn’s beat to shit and regroups with Askeladd’s ground-based entourage now headed for Wessex and he’s just like ‘what the fuck is wrong with Viking culture that we all thing killing is fun, I’m killing for the RIGHT reasons, to stick my enemy’s heart on a pike and set my dead pacifist father’s mind at ease that his son wasted a quarter of his life killing himself over pointless revenge’.

#ooc #Toonami #Custom Toonami Block #Spy X Family #Inuyasha #Yu Yu Hakusho #Jujutsu Kaisen #Chainsaw Man #Ranking of Kings #Vinland Saga

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fuck-customers · 4 years ago

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tldr: creepy asshole bulk buyer stays 40 minutes after closing, cause the world revolves around him.

So I work in a blue and white body store outlet and since we, for the most part, have better sales than the regular stores, we get a lot of bulk buyers who buy retired items at 50 or 75% off and resell them. We have two that come in fairly often. One is a middle aged woman who is incredibly nice, considerate of other customers, polite, just a great person. She knows all of us by name. Once when I was ringing her up I happened to mention that I live on a farm, and now she always asks me how my animals are. Like I can’t say enough good things about this customer.

Anyway we aren’t here to talk about her. We’re her about S (it’s the first letter of his name but also stands for shitface). This guy is just a dick. He’s extremely rude to us and the other customers, and he seems to think we’re there specifically to serve him. He always brings 2-4 people with him, so he’ll spend $3k-$5k on just sale items. We have a $999 price limit, and he always tries to get the newer cashiers so they’re more likely to mess up his transaction so he can go over the limit. And the guys he brings with him are creepy. Most of my coworkers are female, and we’re always on edge around these guys.

Last Tuesday (2/16) he rolls in at 6:30 with two guys and says “Sorry I’m late girls!”. We close at 7, he knows this, but he can do whatever he wants. Right away the two guys grab bags and just start pulling everything off the 75% table. And he’s asking if we have all this different stuff and when we tell him no, they start going through our understock drawers.

This night in particular he was pissing us off more than usual cause we were doing a partial floorset and were scheduled until 10. Now not only do we have our floorset to worry about, we have to refill all the shit this guy is pulling off the tables.

So S has our newest manager ringing him up as his guys bring bags of shit up, two coworkers running back and forth bringing him boxes of stuff so he’ll maybe leave our tables alone, and I’m trying to get a start on the floorset and he keeps coming up to me asking if we have more of all these other random things. Listen pal, you already have two people helping you, you can see that I’m busy, you’re just being obnoxious. Leave me the fuck alone.

They were in the store until 7:40!!! That’s over an hour after they got there and forty god fucking minutes after we closed! And he knows how angry we are, he’s constantly laughing about “guess I should probably let you girls go home”. Fuck off!

And then...and then! After my poor manager finally got everything rung up S tells us he appreciates us staying open so late just for him (we don’t have a choice!) and he’s gonna go get us pizza. We thought he was joking but he actually did come back with two pizzas. I told my coworker he could bring us filet mignon and I wouldn’t touch it. I’m not eating shit from this guy. We ended up throwing the pizza away.

We were scheduled till 10 that night and would have made it out on time if it wasn’t for this ratass. We ended up getting out at 11:45.

#submissions #fuck customers #cashier problems #fuck retail #submission

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wildandsexyjacks · 5 years ago

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Your Smile and You - Pt.4

Pairing: Han Seungwoo + Reader

Genre: Fluff + Friends to Lovers AU

Word count: 1.8k

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It had been a terrible week, full of double shifts and your boss demanding tests with unreasonable deadlines. By the end of it, you want nothing more than to run back home and sleep for three days straight.

Well, actually, there’s one thing you’d want more than that, but Seungwoo had texted you earlier that day to let you know he’d go out to celebrate his roommate’s birthday - whom you haven’t met yet because your relationship is still a secret and you keep coming and going from his apartment at weird hours precisely to avoid running into the guy.

Since you can’t join them at the party, it’s a lonesome night for you. No, not lonesome. It’s me time... You need that. Me time is good.

Or at least it would be, but as you’re getting ready to leave one of your coworkers come inside the locker room and leans against the doorframe, blocking the way.

“We’re having drinks tonight.” she announces and you instantly shake your head.

“Nic, this week’s been hell. I’m super tired.”

“That’s why you need to go out and relax.” she smirks “Dr. Kim is buying.”

You frown.

“Why?”

“Finally got promoted to Chief Surgeon or whatever.” The girl shrugs “Who cares, anyway? It’s free booze and not really an invitation, you have to go because I wanna go and you’re my only friend in this godforsaken place.”

That makes you laugh. Nic is a good friend who helps you a lot with your work, so you throw your hands up and sigh.

“Fine. I’ll have one drink.”

Obviously, it’s not just one drink.

Time flies by and you don’t even notice it. Nic’s had at least two tequila shots and a Mojito, you’re in your third Pink Raspberry Cosmo, your boss looks completely shitfaced, and some of the others are wilding on the dance floor. You haven’t been working there for more than a couple of months, but it’s the first time you see your coworkers enjoy themselves so much. Maybe that week was hard on everyone.

While you sip from your glass, the door is pushed open and a loud group of guys steps inside, wearing suits and birthday hats, led by a tall man in a blue sash that reads Birthday Bitch.

They find a table next to yours and one of them signals to the bartender.

“Hey!” your other friend Carol, who works at the front desk, taps your shoulder “Isn’t that Pretty Attorney Boy?”

You look in the direction she’s pointing at and sure enough there he is, looking amazing in a pinstripe suit with his hair pushed back. Seungwoo is wearing one of those stupid hats and has his arm wrapped around the birthday boy - his roommate Cho Seungyoun, you assume -, a soft smile on his lips as he listens to what the guy is saying.

“Who is that?” Nic asks, staring at the group.

You start to get nervous.

“Um, he’s my bro-“

“No,” she waves her hand “We all know who Pretty Attorney Boy is, I meant the Birthday Bitch.”

“Oh!” now half nervous and half relieved, you laugh, then take a sip from your drink before answering “I’m not sure but I think his name is Seungyoun.”

“Well then get your ass over there and find out for me, would you?”

“What?” You glance at their table, mortified “Of course not.”

“Fine.” Nic downs her drink and basically screams for the whole bar to hear: “Hey, Han Seungwoo!”

He perks his head up, looking around, visibly surprised. When his eyes fall on your table, his first reaction is to frown, a little confused, but as soon as he recognizes you, Seungwoo smiles and gets up from his seat.

“Y/N, hi! I wasn’t expecting to see you here…”

You could die right then and there, but plaster a smile on your face instead.

“My boss is-” you turn to Dr. Kim, only to find out she’s not there anymore “Oh, nevermind. Long time no see,” you lie “how have you been?”

He rubs the back of his neck.

“I’m fine, great.” Seungwoo stops, pressing his lips together until someone at his table clears their throat “Oh, right. Yeah. Right. These are my friends. Hangyul, Wooseok, Yohan, and this is my roommate Seungyoun. It’s his birthday.”

“Happy birthday.” You mumble on autopilot. “These are Nic and Carol.”

Nic tilts her head to the side to take a good look at Seungyoun and smiles in a very suggestive way.

“Happy birthday, Seungyoun.”

He seems very pleased and returns the exact same smile.

“Thank you. Would you girls like to join us for a few drinks?” you're about to say no but he pouts “It’s my birthday.”

And that’s how you end up squished between your friends at a table that’s too small for you all, seated across from Seungwoo and looking at your lap while your friend and his roommate shamelessly flirt with each other. As the waiter brings a new set of drinks for everyone, Seungwoo keeps trying to steal glances but you’re too uncomfortable to even look up, switching your focus between staring at your drink and your phone while the others get to know one another.

Your phone dings with a series of texts from the man in front of you.

[9:55 p.m] HSW: Hi there.

[9:55 p.m] HSW: You look beautiful.

[9:55 p.m] HSW: Do you want a ride home?

[9:56 p.m] HSW: Seungyoun seems pretty busy right now, we wouldn’t be missed.

“Who are you texting?” the one called Wooseok tries to look over Seungwoo’s shoulder “Is it your secret girlfriend?”

“You have a secret girlfriend?” Nic finally stops talking to Seungyoun to stare at him.

“You have a secret girlfriend!” Carol repeats after her, sounding disappointed “So that’s why you haven’t gone to the hospital to see Y/N lately…”

You slide forward on your seat and cover your face with both hands, embarrassed.

“What?” Seungwoo laughs nervously “I’m just busy. I don’t have a secret girlfriend. Or any girlfriend. I don’t have girlfriends.”

“Oh, but you do.” Seungyoun chimes in, raising his index finger “She’s always at our place, I can smell her perfume and sometimes I hear you talking to someone. I’ve never seen her, but I know she’s there.” he adds and strokes his chin, pondering “Maybe one day I should just barge into your room.”

“Please don’t.” Seungwoo pleads, rubbing his face.

“Aha! So you admit to having a secret girlfriend!” Hangyul teases “I wonder why you’ve never introduced her to us, though. I bet it’s someone from the office.”

“My money’s on Ms. Song.” Wooseok ventures, tapping his finger on the table.

“Hyeongjun’s sister???” Yohan gapes at Seungwoo, looking both shocked and impressed.

“NO!” he all but screams, moving in his seat and bumping his knees into the table “I don’t- I’m not that kind of person.”

Hangyul rolls his eyes.

“What? You don’t date your friends’ sisters?”

At his words, you lift your hands, suddenly interested in the subject. Seungwoo’s eyes find yours for a split second before he clears his throat and takes a long gulp from his beer bottle.

“I don’t date people from work, isn’t this a bit unethical?” he tries, instantly busying himself with his phone again.

Wooseok laughs.

“I know so many girls who would be heartbroken by these words, Seungwoo.”

You clear your throat and our boyfriend’s eyes shoot up to you again.

“So our Seungwooni’s popular with girls…” you joke, wiggling your eyebrows.

“Not as popular as me” Wooseok shrugs “but yeah.”

“Oh, that’s right! I remember now…” Seungyoun leans over the table to take a closer look at you.

Maybe he knows something. You forgot your shampoo in their bathroom once. Maybe a hair tie. Perhaps he’s seen some of the daily texts you exchange with Seungwoo.

Oh god, this was a bad idea.

“It was you that day at the restaurant, right?” drinking from his bottle, he nods to himself, “Your hair looked different back then but I remember your voice, calling Seungwoo a tiny baby and all.”

The other boys start to laugh and agree, all of them talking at the same time. Seungwoo shakes his head.

“They still tease me about it.”

You shrug and finish your drink, then get up from your chair.

“It was really nice meeting you all, but I’m gonna head home now, I’m super tired.”

The boys wave their goodbyes, and Nic is so engrossed in her conversation with Seungyoun she doesn’t even notice you’re leaving but Carol offers to wait for your cab with you. You thank her but decline her offer, and grab your purse to leave.

After about five minutes you’re outside, a large hand closes around your elbow, and Seungwoo pulls you to the side of the building, pushing you against the wall.

“Hi.” he smiles before kissing you, one hand on the wall and the other holding your waist.

“Excuse me, sir, I’m taken.” you half whisper half moan when he brushes his lips against your neck.

“So am I.”

“One of the pretty girls from the office?”

That makes him stop. Seungwoo laughs - a beautiful, clear sound - then takes a step back to face you.

“Don’t mind Wooseok, he’s just messing with me.”

Furrowed brows, you stare at him, skeptical.

“So there are no pretty girls interested in you whatsoever.”

“Well, I didn’t say that. There’s one girl, I guess. Her name is Y/N. Now that I think about it, miss beautiful stranger at the bar, you look a lot like her…” he jumps to dodge your boot when you try to kick him and laughs again “I can’t believe you’re jealous of imaginary suitors…” Seungwoo shrugs “Wanna go back inside and clear things up? I’m pretty sure your friends would love to know why I don’t visit you at the hospital anymore.”

You could, but Seungsik doesn’t know about your relationship yet, and you want to tell him first. Thankfully, the Lord is merciful: before you have the chance to deny Seungwoo’s request disguised as an offer, your cab pulls up to the front of the bar, honking two times.

“Maybe some other time.” you pass by him and march to the car, fully aware you do sound jealous, despite all your efforts to not seem so.

Seungwoo follows close behind, and as you take the backseat, he climbs onto the passenger seat, smiling at the driver.

You frown.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking you home, baby.” he states it like it’s obvious, but the fact that he gives the driver his address instead of yours doesn’t go unnoticed.

“What about your friends?”

“Seungyoun is probably making out with Nic by now, and the others don’t really care. I’m always the first to leave, anyway.”

You sigh loudly and the driver takes it as his cue to start the engine. Seungwoo stares at you through the rear-view mirror and you roll your eyes at him, but he can still catch a glimpse of your smile.

You don’t need me time. Seungwoo time is much, much better.

almost a whole month later.... happy birthday snoopy, and welcome to instagram u adorable old man 💜💜

#han seungwoo #seungwoo au #seungwoo scenario #seungwoo imagine #x1 fanfic #x1 scenarios

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weneedtherooks · 7 years ago

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What Happened In Vegas... (1/2)

Viva Las Vegas!

“You wanna make a bet the girl standing on the table will pass out first?” Friedrich snorted. “$20 on the girl who was swinging on the pole earlier,” her returned, setting the final shot glass on his coworker’s tray. Little bets like these helped pass the time during parties like this. 21st birthday bases were a popular bore. After all, who didn’t think Vegas was the perfect place to get shitfaced on your first legal outing? What happened at Vegas stayed at vegas, right? The waiter dug out a twenty, sliding it over before picking up the tray of shots. “It’s a bet!” Friedrich grabbed the bill and stuck it in a tray behind the bar. Friedrich Rosenthal had been living in Las Vegas for three years now, working as a casino bartender. He’d left hamburg in need of a change of pace, although Nevada wasn’t what he’d originally had in mind. Too much neon for his liking, and too many sloshed gamblers slipping him their hotel room numbers. Periodically, he’d get sent to one of their party venues, and those nights always ended the same: some poor girl gets wasted and leaves with a perfect jackass. This party didn’t seem any different. A group of twelve had booked the venue for tonight, and Friedrich had gotten the short straw. He hated this venue; it had a stripper pole and a bunch of black lights paired with white couches…which generally meant skimpy clothes, too much tequila, and an excessive amount of tongue. The girls filed in first, all long eyelashes and sweet perfume. Eight girls, followed by four guys. An uneven number…great. Friedrich went back to cleaning a martini glass, glancing up when a chorus of “boo”ing sounded by the stage. “Aw, c’mon Claire! Megan’s gonna work the pole again soon!” “Hey!” the offended party chimed, giving her friend a playful smack on the arm. One of the men in the group (a sturdy guy with gauges and an eyebrow piercing) tried to pull the parting friend back, but she stepped back, holding her hands up, shaking her head with an apologetic smile. She was a pretty blonde (a naturally pale blonde, too), her soft curls hanging just below the chin. The backless halter top she was wearing was cut well below the breast line in the front, the fabric thin and almost silky. Not to mention the five inch black velvet stilettos; she had to be as tall as him in those! Paired with the tight skinny jeans she was wearing…he could probably bet money on her wearing a thong. “Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know how to make a Long Island iced tea, would you?” “I feel obligated to ask how much you’ve already drank.” She grinned as she leaned against the counter. “I can handle it, honey.” “Well, suit yourself,” he mumbled, pulling out a glass. “Not like you haven’t already had two mojitos and five shots of tequila.” “And yet I can still feel my feet,” she returned sarcastically, two clunks on the floor soundly finishing her complaint. “In all honesty, I’ve only had one drink. The first mojito.” “Really?” “Yeah. Not a huge fan of tequila.” “What about…?” “Got pulled away from my drink,” she leaned closer to his face, “and one of the guys that came with us has been staring me down since we arrived,” she said in a hushed tone. Friedrich leaned over to the side to look past her. “The guy that tried to pull you back,” he replied. She nodded. “I just don’t trust him. Been drugged before, not risking it again.” That was a surprise. “Popular girl, eh?” She scoffed. “They just don’t like that I say no, so they figure drugging me is better.” Yeah, I’ve been there before. They remained silent while he finished her drink. Her eyes look incredible, he thought to himself, noticing the dark brown irises look almost black in the dim lighting; the blue neon and black lights made her eyes glitter, giving the dark pools a sort of enigmatic charm. “So,” he started, sliding the finished drink to her, “you have a name?” Lifting the drink to take a sip, she smiled. “Do you?” “I asked first” She smiled behind the rim of the glass. “Clara. And you, Mister Foreigner?” “Excuse me?” “Your accent. German, right? Sounds Northern.” “Y…yes. How did you know?” he asked, once again taken by surprise. Clara shrugged a shoulder. “I lived in Germany for two and a half years. In, ah, Bremen.” He couldn’t stop the grin from forming on his face. “Incredible. What on earth were you doing out there?” “Culinary school, if you can believe it.” She gestured at her outfit. “I lived in Hamburg for six months before moving to Bremen. Worked as a waitress.” “And now you’re here.” Clara huffed, dropping her chin into her hand. “Yep. Here.” Friedrich folded his arms, cocking his head to the side. “What she asked, amused confusion in the question. “I’ve got it.” “Got what?” “You’re from some semi-rich family,” he began, unfolding his arms to place his hands on the bar, “East Coast or something. Didn’t like Mommy nagging you about your future, so you used Daddy’s money to get into culinary school abroad. Got bored with Hamburg after a month or so, but stuck it out another few months before moving to some boarding house in Bremen. Came back to the states against your will, bored and lonely.” Clara’s eyes slit, a look of serious concentration on her face. “You tried going back to school, but couldn’t force yourself to do it. So now you’re sitting at a bar, alone, wearing an outfit that probably isn’t yours, flirting with the bartender. Why, I don’t know, but hey. I won’t complain.” A smile crept slowly across her face. “You ran away,” she countered, biting her lip. “Most of your siblings are married or have good careers, leaving you the odd one out. You took a ship here, cause planes are terrible for proper human interaction, and you’re a perfect little social butterfly. You have something of a vintage charm, but it’s never been enough to get you by, so you settle for the Sensitive Artisan by day, and the Casino Bartender by night. I bet you have a bottle of whiskey twice your age sitting at home so people think you’re sophisticated.” “And you have a secret stash of port and milano cookies.” She laughed, finishing off her drink. I’d pay money to hear that laugh again… “Well? Was I right at all?” she giggled. Friedrich couldn’t help but nod. “Yes, I did come on a boat, and yes, my siblings have their shit together. I came on a boat because airplanes make me skittish, and I read for most of the trip. I do, in fact, own a 40 year old scotch, and I certainly wouldn’t call myself an artisan.” “What about the vintage thing?” “I’ve mostly been called ‘old-fashioned’, but you’re right.” They both chuckled, Clara fidgeting with the empty glass in her hand. “I’m not from a rich anything, but I am from the coast. I wanted to go to culinary school, but Hamburg wasn’t really working for me, so I left. I did get called back, but it was after my dad got sick of sending me money. You’re half right about my outfit, and my secret stash is milanos and peppermint schnapps.” She grinned. “Also, I’m flirting with the bartender because he’s quite handsome, and the charming compliment was sincere. If only he’d tell me his name.” Incredible. “Fritz. And I’m wondering if you wanna get out of this party and actually have a good time?”

Clara woke up to a pounding headache. Good god, how much did I drink last night…? She sat up slowly, yanking the covers up when she remembered she was naked. Wait…why… She saw the backpack by the bathroom door. Riiiight…the bartender from the party. Is he still here? Turning on her phone, the lock screen read 8am. The next day. Did we actually fall asleep together last night? She saw a soft light coming from the bathroom. Getting out of bed, Clara tiptoed to the bathroom, knocking quietly on the door. “Friedrich?” The door cracked open. Friedrich gave her a sleepy smile. Oh, don’t be cute, that’s not fair. “Hey Claire. Did I wake you up?” he asked in a hoarse whisper. She shook her head. “No, no, you’re fine! How long have you been up?” “Not long, I just woke up. You got a headache too?” “Ugh, yes.” He chuckled quietly, opening the door further. “I was actually gonna take a shower. Care to join?” “I’d like that!” Stepping into the bathroom, she noticed a small night light plugged into the wall. “Really?” she asked, pointing at it. Fritz nodded. “I find they suit morning after hangovers quite well.” That makes sense. “Do you usually stay overnight in people’s hotel room?” He paused as he turned to face the shower. “No,” he replied, his voice almost inaudible. Clara kept her mouth shut; clearly this wasn’t normal for him. “I, uh, generally take pretty hot showers.” “Hot sounds perfect.” Clara stepped into the tub, closing her eyes and sighing as the hot water ran over her body. She turned to face Fritz as she heard him enter behind her. “The only thing that could make this better is scented candles. “Would you make fun of me if I told you I had some at home?” “Shut up. You do?” Friedrich smiled, moving in closer to get under the water himself. “Seaside scents and such.” He sighed, his smile dropping a touch. “I get homesick sometimes. It helps, in it’s own way.” Clara nodded, remembering all too well when she did similar things. “Sometimes…I’ll make German street food when I’m upset.” Friedrich looked down, raising an eyebrow. “Why?” “I just…I miss Germany, you know? It felt like home.” Clara looked at her feet. “Your accent gets thicker when you drink, you know.” “Or when I stop trying to hide it,” he answered, letting his accent flow freely now. “I like it…” In the dim light, she could have sworn he was blushing. Clara turned to face him, draping her arms over his shoulders. He has beautiful eyes. Fritz brought his hands up, gently stroking up and down her waist. And such a radiant smile. They interchanged looking into each other’s eyes…and looking at each other’s lips. I wonder… Clara leaned forward. Friedrich met her halfway. He still tastes like whiskey… The water was cold by the time they finished.

“Clara! You almost ready? We gotta go soon!” Clara groaned against Friedrich’s mouth. “I think you’re being summoned,” he murmured against her lips, smiling broadly. “So stupid.” “Good thing you already packed.” Clara smiled, shaking her head. “If only I’d left out some decent clothes,” she whispered, leaning forward to kiss the bites along Fritz’s collarbone. He made an approving hum. “You’ll never be able to leave at this rate.” Clara stopped suddenly. “Maybe I don’t want to…” The silence between them was deafening. “Well, maybe-” “Clara!” “Take my henley.” “What?” She tried to protest, but he’d already put his shirt over her head. “It’s alright, I keep an undershirt in my bag.” He stood, making his way to his backpack. His shirt smells like Old Spice… “You want me to let them in?” he asked as another knock sounded on the door. “Might as well.” Lonnie’s jaw dropped at the sight of him. “It’s alright, Lonnie. He doesn’t bite.” “Clearly you do,” Sophie grumbled, stepping into view. Poor girl was wearing sunglasses and rubbing her temples. “Yeah, they’re really something!” Fritz beamed, brushing his fingers across the various bites and bruises. Clara rolled her eyes. “Hey, if you’re gonna show off, think you could show off how well you can carry shoes? Cause I’m not walking in those things all day.” Clara and Fritz hung behind the rest of the group as they made their way to the elevator. “So…what now?” “I’m gonna go back home…” “And?” They started at each other, stopping in the middle of the hallway. “Claire…?” “Yeah…?” What the hell is happening…? “Ahem.” They turned to face Lonnie, the tension between them breaking. “You two coming or what? I mean, I don’t know what he plans on doing today, but I know we’ve got a plane to catch.” Clara blinked, her shoulders dropping. “Right. Home.” “Right…” Friedrich mirrored, his mood abruptly becoming sober. The elevator ride was spent in awkward silence. They didn’t speak as Clara checked out, either. “Well…if you’re ever back in Vegas, look me up,” Fritz finally said, extending his hand. Clara took his hand, shaking it after a time. “I will…” He smiled sadly, chuckling softly at the drawn out handshake. Clara nodded, finally letting go. Her heart was hammering in her chest. After handing her her shoes, they parted ways without another word…

-2 weeks later-

“Hey, you’ve been in there for a while. Is everything okay?” Clara looked up from the pregnancy test in her hand. Wiping her eyes off, she buried the little plastic stick in the trash. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

#my ocs #modern!rosenthals #clara and friedrich #modern au #shitty dialogue

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casandpuppies · 7 years ago

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October Destiel AU Challenge: Day 7 - Ride ‘Em, Cowboy

31 Days of Destiel Drabbles: Day 7 - Bar/Club scene

This particular drabble is brought to you by this post. I saw it and instantly thought of Dean, for some strange reason. And thus, this was born.

Castiel officially hates his brother.

Alright, hate is a strong word. But it’s fair to say he’s sufficiently displeased with his brother, even though it’s not exactly fair to lay all the blame on Gabriel for his current predicament.

But he’s only here because Gabriel knowingly took advantage of the fact that Castiel cannot, for the life of him, say no. So, when Gabriel asked him to cover a shift at his club—because there was really no one else he could call, and he wouldn’t ask if there was any other option—it had really only taken one round of his brother’s puppy eyes before Castiel had reluctantly caved.

It was just one night, he told himself. And it’s not like he didn’t know how to do the job. He’s done his fair share of bartending to put himself through college and grad school. If he does say so himself, he’s pretty good at it. His social skills aren’t really stellar, but he can make a damn good drink, and he’s attractive enough that it seems to make up for his lacking conversational skills. At least, that’s what Gabriel tells him.

How bad could it possibly be?

Very bad. Every minute Castiel is here is another minute that reminds him why he hates the bar and club environment. The loud music, the flashing lights, and the obnoxious drunk people causing a ruckus all around him are experiences he does not miss in the slightest.

A blonde woman who looks barely legal slides up to the bar. “Heeeeeyyyy, bartender!” she slurs. “What’s on your tap tonight?”

Castiel’s about to tell her the special brew of the night, but then she gestures crudely towards his crotch and winks, before bursting out into lewd laughter. He barely refrains from pulling a disgusted face. “Perhaps that’s enough for tonight, ma’am. I suggest drinking some water before anything else.”

“No fuunn! Why are the cutes ones so boring?” She pouts and saunters off.

He sighs distastefully and stares impassively at the bar scene in front of him. If nothing else, he’s certainly grateful that he doesn’t have to do this for a living anymore. What Gabriel can possibly see in this line of business, Castiel will never know.

A series of loud wolf whistles and cheers draws Castiel’s attention to a large crowd congregating nearby. The realization of the crowd’s location hits him, and he allows his lip to curl up into a brief sneer. One of the more annoying things about Gabriel’s club is that it’s western-themed, which isn’t necessarily bad by itself. But he’s installed one of those ridiculous mechanical bulls, and he swears that thing alone causes him more stress than anything else in this building.

Personally, he fails to see the appeal. Why would anyone in their right mind want to be flung around by some metal contraption while people around you laugh at your misfortune. All for what? To look “manly” or “macho,” maybe? It certainly doesn’t look like it would be fun. Not to mention the possibility for injury is astounding, even with the padded floor Gabriel’s got around the area. Especially when copious amounts of alcohol are involved. Then again, maybe that’s the problem. These people aren’t in their right mind.

There’s another round of raucous cheering from the group. Most likely, it’s another drunk redneck who’s crawling past “comfortably drunk” into “shitfaced” and is getting too rowdy. This wouldn’t be the first time tonight. In fact, on two separate occasions, he’s had to chase people off the ride for trying to fit more than one person on the back of the bull, totally ignoring the fact that rules clearly state that only person is allowed on at a time. He’s even had someone try and hang on to the underside of the bull. Best to put a stop to it before someone gets hurt. Glancing around, he sees no security guards in the area, and sighs to himself. Another check of his surroundings reveals no patrons at the bar, so he should be good to go check it out.

He throws down the bar rag and makes his way over to the crowd. When he pushes his way through the throngs of people, he’s surprised to see not a drunk redneck, but a very attractive man with sandy, brown hair and bright, green eyes, and wearing a nice, button-down shirt and a tie. He looks like he could have come straight from the office.

Other than the strange attire, he seems fairly normal. He’s doing a really good job of staying on the death-trap, but Castiel doesn’t see what the big fuss is. Maybe this guy’s just got a lot of enthusiastic friends or something. With that thought, he’s about to head back to the bar, but then the music picks up, and the guy flashes the crowd a wild grin, winks, and uses the bucking motion to push himself up and suddenly he’s standing on top of the moving bull and starts dancing. Actually dancing.

Castiel’s jaw almost hits the floor. The guy can’t be that drunk. There’s no way he’d have that kind of coordination otherwise. Honestly, he doesn’t know whether to be upset or impressed. He’s seen people clinging on for dear life get thrown to the floor, and this guy is…well, he’s surfing the bull. That’s the only way Castiel can describe it. He’s not even hanging onto anything, and doesn’t seem nervous in the slightest—on the contrary, he looks like he’s having the time of his life. And he must be a professional dancer or something, because he’s doing a really good job, making it look so easy and moving fluidly with the continuous jerking motions. Also, extra kudos to the guy for doing all this while wearing dress shoes. Castiel knows from experience that those things have no traction whatsoever.

The guy jumps and Castiel is certain he’s going to see him crash to the floor, but he lands successfully and resumes dancing on the trashing metal bull. The crowd erupts into joyous yells, which seems to encourage the guy more, because he smirks and continues to absolutely floor Castiel with his skills and bravery. That’s about the point where Castiel kicks some sense back into himself and remembers that he’s here to put a stop to this. Because, as talented as the guy is, he could still easily fall and get hurt, and this is definitely against the rules.

“Sir!” Castiel calls over the music. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to get down!”

The guy doesn’t seem to take notice of him at first, but after his second attempt, he turns and acknowledges Castiel. Unfortunately, that acknowledgement is in the form of a devilish grin and not dismounting the bull.

Castiel frowns and crosses his arms. “Sir, it’s against the rules to stand on the bull. I must insist that you get down or I’m going to have to call security and have you escorted out.”

The crowd around him seems none too happy with the idea, and he receives a chorus of booing for his efforts. The green-eyed guy, however, spends a moment staring down at Castiel while the mechanical bull continues to move below him.

“Alright, sweetheart,” he says at last, with just the right amount of country accent to be endearing to Castiel. “You win.” He jumps down, and Castiel flinches back, prepared to watch this guy faceplant. Instead, he hits the ground safely, just a few feet in front of Castiel.

Once the guy is on solid ground, Castiel lets out a relieved breathe he didn’t know he was holding. “Thank you.”

The guy winks at him. “You gonna escort me out, now?”

Okay, he’s definitely drunk enough. Now that he’s this close, there’s the telltale glazed look and a light flush evident on his face. At least he’s not hammered, though. A definite plus. Castiel hates dealing with drunk people. “Alright, I think you’ve had enough for the night,” Castiel says with an exaggerated eye-roll. He makes his way back to the bar, because he’s probably left it unattended for too long, and when he makes it back to the counter, he sees that the man has followed him. He raises an eyebrow at him in what he hopes is a “can I help you?” kind of gesture, rather than a rude one.

Green-eyed guy laughs, and Castiel hates the fact that it’s such a nice sound. “You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you here, before. Think I’d remember a pretty face like yours.”

Castiel’s body betrays him, and his cheeks turn red. “I’m just—uh, I’m just helping my brother out. My brother owns this place. I don’t actually work here.”

“Ah.” The guy sits down at one of the seats. “I’m Dean.”

“Castiel,” he replies automatically.

Dean tries to pronounce his name a few times. He must be drunk enough, because his name is not that hard to pronounce, thank you very much. Finally, he gives up. “Can I call you Cas?”

Castiel nods. What harm could it cause? It’s not like he’s ever going to see this guy again. He wordlessly slides a glass of water at Dean. Dean accepts it with a grimace. “You have someone you can call for a ride, Dean?” Castiel asks casually as he goes about tidying up the bar.

“Naaaahhh,” Dean answers, the grin still firmly in place. “Well, I came here with Charlie. That’s my coworker. Boss was being a dick to her today, so I thought I could cheer her up.” Castiel nods along politely, not sure why he needs to know all this. Oversharing seems to be a trait of drunk people, though, so he doesn’t question it. “Think she mighta gotten lucky, though. Think I saw her leave with a bombshell.” He ends with a snicker that slowly dissolves into a full-blown fit of giggling. Castiel doesn’t see what’s funny, but he waits until Dean’s finished to say anything.

As soon as he does say something, he regrets it instantly. Rather than doing the logical thing and offering to call a taxi, he opens his mouth and says “Last call is in an hour. I’ll give you a ride home if you’re willing to wait.”

He wishes he could take the words back, because really? What is he thinking? Just because the guy is attractive doesn’t mean this is a good idea. He could be a serial killer or something. But Dean looks so happy at the prospect that Castiel can’t bring himself to take it back.

“Ooooh, does that mean I’m getting’ lucky tonight, Cas?” He leans across the counter and gives Castiel his best ‘melt your pants off’ grin.

Despite his subconscious telling him not to (if nothing else, Gabriel will never let him live it down), Castiel rolls his eyes and gives Dean his own playful smirk. “Let’s get you sober, first, and then maybe we’ll talk about getting you in my pants, cowboy.”

Without missing a beat, Dean retorts, “only if I’m riding you,” and Castiel chokes on his own breath.

Dean doesn’t quite “get lucky” that night in the way he was probably hoping, but numbers are exchanged, and things actually turn out even better than they might have had this been a one-night stand. In retrospect, they’re both very lucky.

Years later, it makes quite the story to tell at family gatherings, when relatives ask how they met. On the plus side, he does forgive Gabriel for making him work that night.

#destiel #deancas #destiel fanfic #deancas fanfic #destiel fic #october destiel au challenge #Mandy's writing

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adambstingus · 7 years ago

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33 People Confess The Shittiest Thing They’ve Ever Done

Found on AskReddit.

1. I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

When I told an adopted girl, I can see why your parents hate you.

2. THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

Learning guitar from uncle. Can’t do it. He said something like, Its easy, come on, you can do it!

Cue: THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE YOUR WIFE CANCER.

I mean fuck if any of you can top that I will be surprised; I was a little shit. Aunt ended up dying of cancer by the way.

3. Can you wait until you get home to start crying?

The other day my friend was in my car and said, I feel like I’m about to start crying. My immediate response was, Okaywell, can you wait until you get home to do that?

4. Stirred a coworkers drink with my dick.

I was pissed at a coworker who kept pushing her religion on me and I retaliated by stirring her drink with my dick after she had left it unattended. It was a silent victory for me. I look back on it and know that I’m a horrible human being for what I’ve done.

5. I intentionally broke a girls crayons while she cried.

When I was in 1st grade, I accidentally stepped on and broke a crayon this girl had while she was coloring on the ground. She started crying a lot about her broken crayon, so I looked her dead in the eyes and said I can’t be friends with sissy’s who cry over crayons. I then proceeded to intentionally step on and break the rest of her crayons.

6. Saw a man bleeding on the roadside and kept driving.

I was driving my ex home from the movies, and we chanced across a wreck on the roadside. The driver’s head was lolled on his shoulder, openly bleeding and obviously in need of assistance. My ex kept insisting, Keep driving. Someone will help him.

I feel like shit that I let her run me like that; I can’t believe I wasn’t the one to help him.

7. I made a Holocaust joke to a Jewish girl.

We were watching a doc about the Holocaust in journalism class (?)I was sitting behind a Jewish girl and right after they bulldozed a pile of dead bodies into a ditch I asked her if she recognized anyone on the screen.

As soon as it came out, I was horrified. we both participated in off-color inappropriate joking before, but this was next-level.

What a shitty thing to say. Im still ashamed.

8. I yelled at my grandfather and he died before I got a chance to say Im sorry.

I once yelled at my grandfather because he didn’t allow me to go over to a friends house because it was almost lunch time. He died before I got a chance to say sorry, gonna live with that for the rest of my life.

9. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on?

Sitting at a table with friends at college when a girl and her friend join us cause she knew one of my friends. Girl’s a real jerk to everyone. She hones in on my good friend who is insecure. Nervous laughter from everyone so she goes harder.

I stop her and, half-jokingly say, wow, good one. You want a medal or a chest to pin it on? (She was seriously flat as a board)

Girl stands up crying and runs out of the building. Turn to everyone cause no idea how that should be the reaction.

Friends tell me, She had breast cancer when she was 16 and had to have them removed. Only happened a few years ago.

Nice.

10. Threw sand in a kid’s face.

Threw sand in a kid’s face once. We were playing in the sandbox and I was trying to demonstrate that it exploded so I threw a bunch of sand in the air. 97% of it went right into his face. I was an adult.

12. I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it.

I watched a guy pepper spray a sleeping homeless man on the train and was too scared to do anything to stop it. It happened a few months ago and I keep replaying it in my head, wishing I’d done something.

13. Emily, Im sorry.

When I was around 15 I met a girl online and we quickly fell in love, as hormonal teenagers are prone to do. Her parents went away during the school summer break, leaving her home alone for a while and she invited me to come and stay with her as our first face-to-face meeting.

I took the train down to where she lived but on arrival my heart sank. Even though I’d seen pictures of her, she didn’t really resemble the image my love-struck 15-year-old mind had built up. Mutual awkwardness and disappointment became the theme of our first day together so much so that I decided that, not only was I going to go back home the very next day (I think I was supposed to stay for a whole week) but I didn’t want to see or speak to her again.

Just before I left I crept into her room and erased my number from her phone. Then it occurred to me that she had an inbox full of text messages from my number so I had to re-creep into her room and stealthily delete all of those, thus ‘deleting’ myself from her life.

I left and never heard from her again (although she did have my email address). That was about 17 years ago and I still feel very shitty about what I did.

Emily, I’m sorry.

14. Convinced a girl to blow me, them made her take the bus home.

Late, at party for my birthday, managed to chat a cute girl into blowing me. Was too drunk/tired/high on myself after to get her home properly so I made her take the bus. Not a heartbreaking moment but a real ass move.

15. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Hooked up with a coworker at her house after a party. After we had finished she asked me to stay and cuddle, obviously douchebag didn’t wanna stay and cuddle. I had made up my mind to walk home shitfaced at 3am. She even tried to take my shirt off and I just reached into my backpack and pulled a different shirt out. I know, I’m terrible.

Cue next day rolling around and at work I ask where she is and my boss tells me that she is spreading her mom’s ashes back in her home state and she was taking a few days off. That’s when I knew I was a real piece of shit.

Bonus points, she survived cancer a few months later.

16. I purposely smudged an old lady janitors mopping job.

Probs around age ten I was this piece of shit edgelord.Flash-forward to me in a McDonalds. Old janitor lady is mopping the floor. What does shitty ten-year-old me do? Walk across the mop trail and swish my feet to intentionally smudge it.

Gods I can barely think about it. Not even because I’m pissed or ashamed at myself but because of just that was, be it myself doing it or anyone else. This was probably an old lady barely able to make ends meet, trying to do whatever job she could…probably never wanted to hurt a soul. Then comes along some shitty rich kid who does something completely fucking douchey like ruin a mop job. Sure, not the most monstrous thing at face value, but put all of what I just said together and…fucking hell. That is dickish. I feel bad about it to this day; even writing about it is hard.

17. I refused help to a man who needed it.

I was walking out of a 7-11 gas station a couple of blocks from my apartment building late at night (no one else was there). An old, run down car pulled in and the driver rolled down the window and called over to me. He was clearly very upset and looked like he’d been crying. He told me he just found out his daughter had been in an accident and had been airlifted to a hospital about an hour away. He was trying to get there, but he was almost out of gas and didn’t have any money on him. He pleaded with me for anything I could spare. I told him I didn’t have any cash on me, and I went on my way.

That was a lie. I had plenty of cash on me, and regardless I had my cards on me with which I could’ve bought him some gas. I got about halfway home, thought about what I’d just done, and went back, but he was already gone. I went home where my friends were drinking, and I just sat on the couch and didn’t talk to anyone the rest of the night.

What the hell was wrong with me? Was I so jaded from living in a big city with panhandlers regularly asking for money that I couldn’t recognize when someone might genuinely need my help? The emotion on that man’s face was real, as was the pain in his voice. I don’t think I’ll forget the desperate please! as long as I live. Was it really that big of a risk to give this guy $20? Would that loss to me if he was some Broadway-class con man really be that bad when weighed against the possibility that I just let down a father going through the worst moment of his life?

What if his daughter didn’t make it, and he didn’t get to see her before she passed because some cynical asshole at the gas station couldn’t spare a few dollars? I hope that wasn’t the case, that his daughter was fine, and that someone with more compassion was able to help him…or better yet, that there was no accident and he was playing me. Thinking about the alternative has kept me awake at night on multiple occasions.

Ever since then I have tried to keep a more open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt, so that the next time I’m in a position to help someone who needs me, I won’t fail them.

I don’t think the guy wanted money for drugs. Anyone who works with drug addicts like I do would know that a true addict wouldn’t have any car, no matter how crap, that could be sold for even a few bucks that could get them another fix. Also, my neighborhood wasn’t anywhere near the drug corners, and he didn’t have the physical indicators.

18. Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. He died four days later

Did not visit my grandfather this Christmas. I had two vacation days from work which I used to visit someone I had been dating for a month on Thursday and Friday. Then at my parents place for the holiday and back to work the next week. My grandfather passed away on 29th of December last year. I’m a real piece of shit.

I made damn sure to drive the some 220km to leave a candle for him at a veteran memorial stone on New Year’s Eve. At the town he had lived for his whole life.

19. Told my mom I wanted to name my kid after my dad.

Was having a chat with my brother, sister, and mother about names for kids. promptly say that I don’t like the idea of naming my kid after a family member but if I did it would be my fathers name. At the end of this rambling, mildly insulting speech I look straight at my mom and say because I love Dad. Immediately realized that implied that I didn’t love my mother enough to name my kids after her. I tried retracing my steps and covering up my mistake, she laughed and joked about it, but her face showed that she was pretty hurt. Broke my heart that I could be that careless, that woman’s done nothing but good for me.

20. Told my host he looked like Butt-head.

Hung out with the host of a New Years party for a bit. Drank some of his beer and said, hey you kinda look like Butt-head from that show. He said he gets it a lot.

21. I kicked a girl out of my house after some lackluster sex.

I had a girl come over for some extracurricular activities. She was drinking and assumed she was staying the night. After we had very lackluster sex I went down stairs smoked a bowl, walked back upstairs and kicked her out of my house. Definitely an ass move.

22. My friend was counting change, so I knocked all his coins on the ground.

A friend of mine was counting his change on the entrance of our work. We were about to clock in when I asked him What you got there? He shows me with his hand open and I just tapped it from the bottom, all his coins fell on the floor with all the people passing by.

I laughed and left, felt pretty shitty after but when I went to apologize he laughed it off and said he’ll get me next time.

23. Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

After graduating college I spent the summer backpacking around the world. It was the most amazing thing I had ever done; I was kind of shy before but the experience gave me a new-found confidence. Once I was back home I was a hit at bars regaling new friends with stories and was finally successful with attracting the opposite sex. I was having the time of my life.

While I was gone by best friend’s boyfriend overdosed and died at Bonnaroo. A little back story we became friends because she put me back together after a breakup. Stayed with me and cooked for me, but did I return the favor when I came home… no :/

I was too busy having the time of my life. Shortly after I got home she crashed her car and got a DUI. She was in a downward spiral and I ignored her. We were working a shift together after that and I, still in euphoria from the night before, said to her I can’t believe how my life keeps getting better and better and yours just gets worse.

I didn’t realize what I had said until months later. It’s been years and I still think back on that moment. I could have been there for her but I was just a selfish piece of shit.

tldr: Best friend’s boyfriend died during the best summer of my life and I was a piece of shit.

24. Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

Brought a morning-after pill to a woman I’d fucked the day prior while she was in the hospital after another guy beat the shit out of her.

25. I wanted to meet a gay guy so I could make fun of him.

I was very sheltered as a kid. I went to a private Christian elementary and middle school with 16 people in my 8 the grade class. When I was in 9th grade, I went to my first public school. No one knew me, so I felt like I had to be cool.

One day a friend of mine mentioned that her cousin was gay. I had never met a gay person before. I was genuinely curious if he was just as they appear on TV. So I asked her who he was, wanting to get the chance to meet him. She asked why I wanted to know who he was. Trying to be cool and not like I was genuinely curious, I replied, so I can make fun of him.

The girl sitting in front of me who I had never heard say a word, just turned around and said you’re a dick. It was the first and last thing she ever said to me.

I’ve never felt like more of a piece of shit in my life than that moment.

26. I gave a girl her first kiss as part of a bet.

I started a bet with a friend in middle school that we could get this wholesome straightedge girl to kiss one of us. I won the bet at a super romantic moment at a friend’s pool party by a roaring fire but had no real feelings for the girl. A little while later her friend told me that was her first kiss and she really liked me and was heartbroken when she found out about the bet. She has to live her whole life with that as her first kiss. I’m friends with her on FB and 15 years later she is absolutely beautiful and I still feel awful.

27. I threw a brick over my backyard fence and hit a kid in the head.

I threw a brick over my backyard fence just cause, and actually hit a kid in the head. It was a pretty bad cut. When his parents and my mom came out I just pointed at my brother and he got the ass whoopin’ of a life time. I was like 6.

28. Ran over a birdtwice.

Was driving on a winding road on my way to a job on the countryside when I hit a bird with the car. Stopped the car briefly and saw in my rear-view that it was flapping around until it just sat still in the middle of the road, probably trying to recover from the beating it had taken. I considered stepping out of my car and move the poor bird to the side of the road so it wouldn’t get hit by another car but remembered that flock-living birds can get “expelled” by their flock if they carry an unknown scent. I also figured that this was far off in the countryside in Sweden, and the likelihood of another car passing by anytime soon was close to none.

I was on my way back home about an hour and a half later. My meeting with the client had been a huge success so I was in a great mood, singing to the radio and was probably driving a bit over the limit. I drove up a small crest and on the other side was the same fucking bird sitting in the middle of the road exactly where I left it, I had totally forgotten about it! It was turned towards me and I swear it looked me straight in the eyes, silently cursing at me in its chirpy bird-language as I inevitably drove straight over it for the second time…

Once again I could see the bird being slammed to the asphalt numerous times in my rearview-mirror before disappearing down the slope into the woods.

I’m entirely convinced this bird will dedicate his afterlife to haunting me from the other side for the rest of my life…

29. Girlfriends mom tried killing herself, so I went home to drink.

Was watching with my then girlfriend. Lots of bad things happened that night that we were unaware of, and in the end her dad stormed into our room shouting get upstairs now and call 999. Her mum tried to commit suicide by an overdose on something I’m not aware of. Her mum/dad goes off in the ambulance and my ex is hysterical, crying panicking etc. My uncle at the time also tried to hang himself a few nights previous…. I used this as an excuse to leave my ex for the night, go home and get drunk. I will never forget the tears I left my ex in, while I went home to drink.

30. Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection.

Convinced a girl high as a kite who had the tiniest cut on her finger that she will die from infection and have it amputated or if she didn’t go hospital it would spread and lose her arm. She started crying, called her mum, and went to hospital.

31. I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them.

I’ve had sex with 2 friends’ gfs…while they were still dating them. A decade of regret and lost friendships is the result.

32. Told a suicidal girl to go kill herself.

Met a girl through and online game that was a legitimate train wreck. Sending nudes to basically everyone at the age of 12, smoked and drank on the daily at 13 or 14, did coke and speed at 15. Girl was a major bitch and a manipulator to basically everyone, and had no one who cared about her as a result. I tried being the first.

As I said, she ended up being a massive manipulator and one of the only people I’ve ever branded as irredeemable. Checked in on her some years later, and asked her how she’s been. Said she was probably gonna kill herself, to which I replied Yeah, you go do that, and then blocked her.

Is that fucked-up? Yeah. Do I care if she actually killed herself? Can’t say that I do.

33. Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason.

Kneed a neighborhood kid in the nuts for no reason at all when I was like 9 or 10…I was a little shit as a kid.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/02/33-people-confess-the-shittiest-thing-theyve-ever-done/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/167051727832

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samanthasroberts · 7 years ago