#and I won’t go on to singularly blame anyone

[oxygenpdf]

Let me get this straight, just so I know what’s going on. You guys get mad at Leclerc for NOT speaking up, but then get mad at him FOR speaking up.

Make up your damn minds, or just stop talking. Seriously.

[bestworstcase]

on ‘villainy’ and varian’s and cassandra’s moral codes

for all that varian’s and cassandra’s villain arcs get compared to death they’re really more different than they are similar, and i think one of the more interesting distinctions is the characters’ moral perspectives on their own actions--namely that varian recognizes his own choices as villainous and consciously self-identifies as a ‘bad guy’ and cassandra not only…doesn’t do that but appears legitimately taken aback when varian says she’s ‘become the villain.’ from this we can infer that varian is transgressing his own personal sense of right and wrong while cassandra isn’t.

and… well with varian i think it’s pretty straightforward: he’s a kid who desperately wants to make the world a better place and make his father proud, but his impulsivity and recklessness and general disregard for lab safety foil his plans and get him into trouble. then one of his accidents puts his dad into what is essentially a magical coma and varian becomes singularly focused on reviving him--and, when he realizes that the king is more invested in covering up the problem than fixing it and his only hope lies with a zealously guarded relic belonging to the kingdom, he decides that the only way to achieve this goal is to start breaking the rules.

so he asks rapunzel--his friend who promised to help him--to retrieve some information the king is trying to steal from him, and then persuades her to help him access the sundrop vault; then when she balks at stealing it he makes it clear that he no longer trusts her and escapes with the flower. at this point he’s in the morally dubious zone; being strategic about what he tells rapunzel to make sure she helps him, spiking cookies with truth serum to sow chaos and get information he needs, and doing things that are crimes on paper but also largely victimless. i think these were things varian could probably rationalize as okay--not exactly good, but no one got hurt and he got what he needed.

except the flower’s magic is gone. he drugged the palace, manipulated rapunzel and broke her trust in him, and committed treason all for something useless because the actual magic of the sundrop is in rapunzel herself. now he’s in trouble, because he needs rapunzel’s help but his desperate measures guaranteed she won’t be willing to help him again. and this is when varian realizes that his only options are 1. give up on saving his dad and turn himself in and hope rapunzel takes pity on him, or 2. accept that no one is going to help him now and do whatever it takes to free quirin himself.

so--mutating ruddiger, attacking the city, kidnapping arianna and threatening her with encasement in amber, building an automaton army to defend him while he works--these are all things that varian feels are wrong, but chooses to do anyway because he doesn’t trust that anyone else will even try to save his father. despite his anger and his rationalizations, at the end of the day varian sees himself as doing bad things for good reasons. (“Believe me, I know/I’ve sunk pretty low” & “I’m the bad guy, that’s fine”)

and when his reasons fall through--when he fails to free his dad--he falls quickly into guilt and despair over having hurt people for nothing. he stews for a year in how unforgivable and ashamed he feels, and even when he teams up with the separatists, he’s doing it in, basically, pursuit of a reset button: he wants to take back what he did. and when rapunzel shows him that he can be forgiven, he can have a second chance, he does have people who are willing to help him and trust him again, he drops the memory-wiping idea and his alliance with the separatists without a second thought--because what rapunzel actually does is give him a way to pursue his goals without sacrificing his conscience, which is what he really needed the whole time.

now, cassandra, on the other hand…

cass is an interesting character in this regard because, while she does want to be a hero, she’s not at all altruistic. she’s consumed by her lack of autonomy and she craves not only control over her own life but also respect from the people around her--her desire to be a hero is very self-interested, at its core. and moreover she has a somewhat fatalistic view of the world wherein some people (not her) matter and some… just don’t. 

moreover cassandra, despite her ambitions of becoming a guard, doesn’t so much as blink at eugene’s or the pub thugs’ criminal pasts--she is suspicious of lance at first, but on the grounds that he’s an unrepentant thief who showed up out of the blue under suspicious circumstances to ‘reconnect’ with his old partner in crime; eugene is also distrustful of lance, for the exact same reasons--and of course she doesn’t think twice about breaking the law herself. literally one of the very first things we see cassandra do is commit treason to make her friend happy. cass doesn’t care about the law, and she only wants to be a guard because she associates getting the job with having her dad’s approval and it’s also her ticket out of lifelong servitude.

on the other hand, cass does seem have a strong sense of right and wrong where people she cares about are concerned. she is constantly putting the desires and well-being of her friends ahead of not just her ambitions (e.g. in beginnings for rapunzel, or great expotations for varian) but also her own safety (e.g. risking her livelihood and home to sneak rapunzel out for the night in bea, or setting aside her misgivings about the sketchy bird people in freebird). 

which is all to say--cass isn’t exactly amoral but the moral framework through which she sees the world is… more complicated than varian’s. she doesn’t seem particularly motivated to help strangers but she’ll move mountains to help people she cares about; she doesn’t care much about rules or laws except insofar as she doesn’t want to get caught breaking them, and she has this hierarchical mindset that some people matter--meaning, they get to make decisions for themselves and have people care about what they need and want--and some don’t, and that she herself is stuck in the latter category despite her best efforts to climb out of it.

which brings us to the subject of the moonstone, and cassandra’s villain arc, and why cass, unlike varian, doesn’t consider herself a bad person.

i think what it comes down to most is this: taking the moonstone is an act of defiance against not only rapunzel but also fate itself. waiting in the wings sets up cassandra’s resigned acceptance of this hierarchical order and her own cosmic insignificance, and then in crossing the line she REJECTS that same order. she’s raging against rapunzel but also against the cultural and legal and destined systems that put rapunzel on top and forced cass into subservience. she is very literally fighting for her freedom against the universe itself.

and when cass was not an altruistic or heavily morally motivated or even particularly law-abiding person before, and when her conscience has always been predominantly oriented around taking care of her friends first and herself second, and when the thing that drove her to this breaking point was her friends spitting that back in her face… well.

it’s easy to say “cass literally tried to murder rapunzel a bunch of times, how can she possibly believe she’s the good guy?”--but rapunzel maimed cass, blamed her for it, and consistently prioritized her destiny over cassandra’s wellbeing; and rapunzel represents the cosmic order that cass is fighting to liberate herself from. and while i know that the -popular- take on be very afraid is “cass is terrified of hurting rapunzel,” i submit it’s actually “cass is terrified of having to fight rapunzel, because she still believes that fate is literally tilted in rapunzel’s favor and she can’t win a direct fight with rapunzel.” that’s why she’s so scared; that’s why rapunzel seemingly deleting the red rocks hardens her resolve; that’s why she marches into corona with maximum drama and bluster and builds a fortress and tries so hard to mess with rapunzel’s head before the battle begins. she’s trying to even the odds. and that’s why, when rapunzel stomps her into the curb, cassandra’s immediate response is “i need an army.”

cassandra isn’t scared for rapunzel. she is scared OF rapunzel.

we do also see cass trying not to harm people she considers to be innocent bystanders; she uses the truth serum on varian bc she needs the incantation, but afterwards she doesn’t even bother to restrain him until after he starts pestering her, she says flat out that she doesn’t want him to get hurt when she fights rapunzel; similarly she is willing to hurt calliope to force rapunzel to comply, but--despite her deep personal dislike of calliope--uses a minimum amount of force and again verbally expresses that she doesn’t particularly want to hurt her, that it’s a means to an end and nothing more. attacking rapunzel? that’s fine, rapunzel is her enemy. attacking eugene? of course, he’s rapunzel’s closest ally. mind controlling the brotherhood? that kills two birds with one stone--eliminating powerful enemies with a vested interest in taking the moonstone away from her and turning them into allies who can level the playing field between her and rapunzel. and when she does finally snap and raze corona to the ground? the people of corona attacked her first. i think cass ABSOLUTELY sees herself as fighting a purely defensive war against people who have or will hurt her.

and this is, of course, ultimately why varian failed to get through to her during ‘nothing left to lose’--he appealed to her sense of morality and her sense of morality shrugged. 

as for the thing that snaps her out of it? the moment that forces her to question whether she’s really as right as she thinks she is? it’s learning who her new friend really is. it’s the shock of finding out that she’s been allied with, confiding in, taking advice from a legendary villain, from a monster she likely grew up hearing stories about. cass takes it as a given that zhan tiri is evil--and if she’s friends with zhan tiri, what does that make her? and even then, cass is resistant to the idea that she might be a villain--“No, no, I’m nothing like you. Just because I’m pursuing my destiny doesn’t make me a bad person!”--which is, ultimately, very telling of her whole mindset. she’s not a bad guy, she’s fighting for her freedom. she’s not a bad guy, she’s protecting herself against people who want to exploit her. she’s not a bad guy, she’s just putting herself first for once.

and OAH generally, i’d argue, is not actually about cassandra trying to reconcile with rapunzel or redeem herself or be a better person, it’s… literally cass trying frantically to prove she’s NOT the bad guy. it’s “oh yeah? you think i’m a bad person? well could a bad guy do THIS? *lies and impersonates a former coworker and gets up on a stage to justify her own actions in front of a crowd*” it’s “a bad guy wouldn’t apologize, rapunzel never apologized for anything, and to prove i’m a better person I’M going to apologize! see? SEE!?”--and then everyone in corona attacks her and she goes “FINE, i’m the bad guy, fuck you all” and wrecks the place.

only then--only in plus est en vous--does cassandra get into a mindset similar to varian’s, of “i am the bad guy but if i can pull this off it will be worth it.” she’s not sorry. she still sees rapunzel as an enemy trying to get her under control again, and the only thing that’s really changed is cassandra acknowledging that she has in fact done bad things too.

and… i would argue that by the end of plus est cassandra… feels some guilt but isn’t sorry. “i’ve failed” and “i’ve done terrible things” and “i tried to prove i was more than everyone thought but they were right”--her anguish is not like varian’s anguish in RR, where he was consumed with despair because no one could possibly forgive him for the things he did. cassandra is upset because she did awful things and failed and she perceives that failure as proof of her own worthlessness. she’s right back to feeling how she felt in waiting in the wings but with a hefty new helping of self-disgust and shame for having been stupid enough to believe she could change anything for herself. 

she’s not sorry. she’s not pleading for forgiveness. she just wants rapunzel to give up and leave her alone--& then, after rapunzel convinces her that she’s wrong, and she does have worth as a person, and she does have a destiny of her own, cass does what’s necessary to clean up the crisis she created and then… just bounces. she gets the freedom she wanted and leaves without a backward glance.

(which. good for her.)

tl;dr: varian’s villain arc explores his moral scruples and what it takes for him to be willing to ignore them, whereas cassandra’s villain arc explores her incendiary reaction to a lifetime of injustices; she isn’t amoral but her sense of right and wrong is, unlike varian’s, very contextual and personal. varian is a pragmatic idealist who wants to be lawful good but is capable of setting his own morals aside in pursuit of a goal he considers to be important enough, and cassandra is one radicalizing incident away from realizing that her grievances are not a unique personal failing but a systemic problem and then leading a class uprising.

[randomposterofstuff]

On the change of dynamics of Mikasa’s relationships with Eren and Levi

Author’s Note: Hi, all! I just wanted to share my personal analysis of two scenes that involve Eren, Mikasa, and Levi. The idea for the analysis just occurred to me randomly. And it made me think that these two scenes illustrate how much the dynamics of Mikasa’s relationships with Eren and Levi have changed over time. I don’t know if anyone has already made an analysis of this. But I just wanted to share my take on it. Haha. Fair Warning: This post is lengthy. Hahaha.

This is an analysis of two paralleling scenes involving Eren, Mikasa, and Levi. The first scene that will be discussed is the one where Levi beat Eren during the latter's military trial in Season 1. The second scene involves Levi striking Eren after the Raid on Liberio in Season 4. In the analysis of both scenes, I focused primarily on Mikasa's reactions. And at the end of the main analysis, I also posted my thoughts on what all of these could mean for Mikasa's relationship with Levi.

Also, SPOILER ALERT for those who haven't read Chapter 138 of the manga yet. While this post mainly analyzes the two scenes mentioned above, I also included some tidbits from Chapter 138 at the end to tie things up as neatly as possible. Hahaha.

So, anyway, here it goes:

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Season 1: The Trial

Back in Season 1, during Eren’s military trial, he was physically beaten by Levi. We all know that he did this to ensure that the Scouting Regiment/Survey Corps gets custody of him. The display was necessary to emphasize and prove that Levi, who is widely known as "Humanity's Strongest Soldier", is best suited to subdue Eren should he lose control of his abilities. Because of this, the Scouts were able to convince the Military Police and Premier Zackly that they should be given custody over Eren.

One of the most notable parts of this scene is how Mikasa was enraged by Levi's actions. Had Armin not stopped her, she would’ve probably lunged at Levi and struck him. At the time, Mikasa was gravely concerned about Eren’s well-being and was perhaps too furious at Levi to think about anything else. Because of this, she probably did not immediately realize that Levi had effectively secured Eren’s relative safety at the end of the day. 

During the trial, the MPs spoke of planning to dissect him, among others. Conversely, the Scouts proposed that he participate in an upcoming scouting expedition to determine whether he is a threat or not. They also suggested that Eren be placed under Levi’s direct supervision so that he could be subdued in the event of an incident. While the latter proposal still entailed some degree of violence, it was far less hostile and more beneficial to Eren than the MP’s proposal. 

Screenshots taken from Season 1, Episode 14 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

It is also worth noting that her primary concern during this time was Eren’s well-being. Mikasa is not cruel or heartless towards others. But it is worth noting that she was more concerned about Eren than the fact that he could have been a grave threat to so many innocent people. During this time, humanity inside the Walls was still ignorant of the truth, so the apprehension and fear directed towards Eren’s powers were justified and understandable. Yet, despite this, Mikasa was mainly singularly focused on Eren.

This is one of many instances which illustrate how she allows her affections for Eren to impair her judgment. She cares about him so much that sometimes her emotions get the better of her.

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Season 4: The Aftermath of the Raid on Liberio

Now, flash forward to Season 4 during the Raid on Liberio. When Eren was pulled onto the airship, Levi expressed his disgust and disappointment in Eren’s actions and behavior. He drove his points home by kicking Eren again. When he did so, Mikasa, probably out of habit and instinct, moved to intervene before Armin stopped her again. The difference here is that this time, she did not express anger towards Levi for beating Eren again. Instead, she had a sad and torn expression on her face.

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 8 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

This is an indicator of growth and change on Mikasa’s part. While she still had the urge to protect Eren, she knew that because of what he did to the citizens of Liberio, Levi’s anger and disgust were justified. As a matter of fact, she herself was distraught when she saw the bodies of innocent civilians and children scattered on the battlefield. And what distressed her even more was the fact that Eren – her childhood friend, adoptive brother, and literal savior, was the cause of all the destruction.

Screenshots taken from Season 4, Episode 7 of the “Attack on Titan” anime

During this time, Mikasa had already begun to notice that the Eren she once knew was no longer with them. However, probably because of personal sentiment and their shared history, she still cared for him. It is likely that Mikasa still hoped that he would change for the better during this particular time. Even so, she is now wise and mature enough to not turn a blind eye to his terrible actions.

It can also be said that Mikasa is now better able to properly analyze the situation as a whole instead of just focusing on Eren. She understood the gravity of the problem and therefore acknowledged that Levi was in the right for feeling disgusted and disappointed. And maybe it can be said that she couldn’t blame him for kicking Eren again. (Lol.)

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What This Means for Levi and Mikasa's Relationship: Having Common Ground

As for what all of this means for Mikasa and Levi's relationship, I think that it can be said that Mikasa now has more common ground with Levi than Eren. 

The affection she has for Eren is rooted in a shared history and the kind of person he used to be before he became their ultimate enemy. Before the truth about the world and Eldians was revealed to the inhabitants of Paradis, Eren and Mikasa were long-time friends who worked hand-in-hand to achieve their common goals. The first was to keep humanity within the Walls safe from the threat of the Titans. And the second was to uncover the truth surrounding the mystery of the Titans. However, their relationship began to deteriorate when they finally learned of the truth, and when Eren gained access to his Attack Titan's ability to see the memories of its future and past inheritors. Over time, Eren began to slowly but surely drift away from her to the point that they had completely lost their common ground.

Conversely, her connection to Levi is based on trust and comradeship. Indeed, there aren't any explicitly romantic interactions between them (not yet, anyway. Lol.). However, it has already been established that Mikasa trusts Levi as a leader and as a fellow soldier. In the same vein, Levi also has faith in Mikasa's abilities. More importantly, it has been shown that Levi is capable of great empathy and that he has the best interests of humanity as a whole in both his mind and heart. This is another thing that he has in common with Mikasa. While she was heartbroken at the fact that killing Eren was the only way to stop him, she ultimately chose the rest of humanity over him and her feelings for him. She was even the one who dealt the final blow in Chapter 138. On this, I think that her act of choosing to kill Eren and actually seeing that choice through was her way of finally letting him go and choosing to move on from him. It's true that she said that she won't forget him, but then again, it's possible to move on from someone without forgetting them.

In relation to this, I think that it's symbolic (and perhaps even foreshadowing of events to come in Chapter 139) that Levi was the one to help her kill Eren. It's symbolic in the sense that by helping her kill Eren, Levi was the one to help Mikasa move on from him. It's also worth noting that when Mikasa declared her intention to kill Eren, Levi seemed to look awestruck and proud. He followed her lead - meaning that he trusted her resolve.

Images taken from Chapter 138 of the Shingeki no Kyojin manga.

This is particularly significant because, in the past, Levi (along with a few others) nearly always had to placate Mikasa whenever a dangerous situation involved Eren. Levi was completely aware of how reckless she could be whenever Eren's safety was in jeopardy. Even in the events leading up to the final battle, Mikasa still protested whenever anyone suggested that they kill Eren. However, when it came down to it, Mikasa decided that she would be the one to kill Eren. And when she asked for everyone’s help, he did not question her. Instead, he chose to trust her and believe her.

Perhaps this will lead to a deeper connection between them in the aftermath of the battle. Maybe this can be a foundation for the relationship that they will have in the future.

Anyway, that's all for now. I hope that this post makes sense. Haha. I'm sorry if it's a bit convoluted and messy. Lol. Let me know what you guys think!

[shihalyfie]

Daisuke and Ken’s dynamic, and what Ken does for Daisuke in return

Everyone in the main 02 cast can be said to be a little surface-deceptive in some way, and so, even with Daisuke and Ken as the relationship at the forefront of 02′s story, there’s still more going on behind it than first glance would initially make you suspect. It’s all too easy to just take the surface reading and decide that Daisuke is some kind of saint whom Ken is singularly dependent on for his happiness (which would really be quite the unhealthy relationship), or, worse, shove them into the stereotypical BL tropes just because they’re the two at the front, even though the story practically went out of its way to depict them as unusual characters who don’t fit into those kinds of boxes as easily.

Even though it wasn’t stated outright in words, Ken did a lot for Daisuke in return, and there’s a lot of layers to their relationship to each other both in the series and in going forward after it.

What Daisuke does for Ken

That Daisuke and Ken have very “complementary” personalities goes without saying, but this applies to both their surface demeanors and what lies beneath them. Daisuke has an abrasive surface demeanor and a tendency to get defensive, but isn’t actually very assertive at all; on the other hand, Ken is more polite and ostensibly “soft”, but is significantly more assertive than Daisuke is. This also means that, while it would of course be foolhardy to pretend that Ken could easily shrug off all of his trauma, it’s also conversely reductive to shove the two of them into boxes where Ken is a constant crybaby angsting over everything bad that’s happened to him while Daisuke’s the only ray of sunshine who can get him out of it. A lot of Ken’s strength in the series is self-supplied; he of course does end up needing the others’ support at times, but extreme readings like this really don’t give the kid enough credit for how good he is at gritting his teeth and pushing on without anyone prompting him.

The initial problem, however, is that Ken is too assertive about the wrong things at first. Like, say, in 02 episode 26, when he assertively says that he’s going to...recklessly chuck himself into an exploding reactor! For the third quarter of the series, Ken deliberately tries to keep his distance from others, and is very clear and open about his reasons why: in his mind, it’s his responsibility, and the others shouldn’t have to be involved. He doesn’t want their friendship, he doesn’t even think he deserves their friendship, and here’s Daisuke going “okay, yeah, but that’s stupid, shut up and let us help you.”

Adventure and 02 have a strong thread of driving it home that “doing things on sheer principle eventually becomes pointless when it gets in the way of being practical” -- and Daisuke, being a simple-minded and “straightforward” person who doesn’t overthink things, is basically there to keep Ken’s focus back on the proper picture. Because yeah, Ken can attempt to do things like frame things in terms of whether he “deserves” all of this, or “whose responsibility” this all is -- but the fact of the matter is that Daisuke and his friends want to do something and help instead of being sitting ducks about it, Ken’s practically not going to be able to do this alone, and, well, that’s the base of their first Jogress in 02 episode 26! Ken says outright that his goal is to do something to help, but then decides that “helping” should involve suicidally chucking himself into an exploding reactor, and Daisuke, hearing out Ken’s troubles, reminds him that him dying there won’t actually help the way Ken wants to help, because it won’t leave him alive to do all of the other things he wants to do and will hurt his family even more just when he was starting to repair things with them -- and as much as this extremely suicidal plan might temporarily spare the others from dying in an explosion, Daisuke would have to live with the guilt of letting Ken go off to die like that, so it won’t make him happy either.

So in other words, while Ken’s trying to sort out his complicated feelings of guilt, shame, and sense of responsibility, Daisuke’s there to keep his head on straight and remind him when he’s about to run himself in mental circles. Ken would have easily spent the rest of the series trying to make up for what he did even without Daisuke’s help, because he’s such a strong believer in “the right thing to do”, but his way of going on about it would have involved him staying in isolation out of a perceived sense of responsibility, endangering himself out of a sense of self-sacrifice, drowning himself in self-blame and feelings of regret, and, eventually, not addressing the very gaping hole in his life that he very much needs emotional support from others right now.

One thing particularly interesting about the Japanese version of 02 is that, for nearly the entirety of the second half of the series, Ken only refers to Daisuke as “Motomiya”, which is surprising given the fact that he employs given-name basis with the others quite quickly. Ken eventually does commit to “Daisuke” after the series in almost all post-02 material, and this image fits the two so well that pretty much every doujinshi artist has caught onto it despite it not being there all that much in the actual series, but it really took him a while; what gives? (Daisuke himself committed to “Ken” from surname basis “Ichijouji” starting in 02 episode 39.) Well, the important distinction is that Ken dropped the honorific with him from very early on -- meaning that he did want to approach Daisuke with a little bit of casual bluntness in a way beyond the distant respect he treated the others with, but at the time, going straight to buddy-buddy on given name with no honorific at all would have been a bit too much for him, and it comes off as him almost deliberately giving off a sense of distance. Why?

Ken didn’t have too much of an opinion on each individual kid in the group until 02 episode 8, when he developed a particular hatred for Daisuke for “ruining his pride” and decided to emotionally torture him a bit. Then, come 02 episode 25, this same kid approached him with no sense of grudge whatsoever, and presents him with a completely different way of seeing things: “whatever you did in the past, you’re clearly trying to help now, which means we’re now on the same side, so we should work together.” It’s pragmatic; it’s extremely pragmatic, and it’s not like Daisuke was working off of blind optimism and trust as much as he observed, very practically, that Ken was clearly trying to do better now and that therefore they should work together and make use of it. This kind of thought pattern is completely alien to Ken’s “I deserve/don’t deserve this” mentality at this point of this series, and by all standards of his own logic Daisuke should be one of the people who hates him the most, and yet -- nope!

By the time of their Jogress, Ken of course understands that Daisuke’s trying very hard to communicate with him, and thus they develop a sort of rapport -- but they’re not quite friends yet at the level of truly being “comfortable” with each other, because most of the second half of the series involved circumstances where Daisuke was helping Ken through a very emotionally hard time. It’s only at the point of the Christmas party in 02 episode 38 when Ken can really think about having these kids as real friends in terms of socializing and not just people who are willing to work with him in his penance journey. It’s enough that Ken’s able to admit that he wants the help of Daisuke in 02 episode 44, when beforehand he’d been trying to keep everyone out of what he’d perceived as his business. And, as Ken’s slowly more exposed to Daisuke’s way of life and its influence on the rest of the group around him, he comes to understand that maybe having a “close friend who can support him” isn’t that bad after all, since it’s not like these friends are just being “open-minded” towards him; they really are there to support him and his actual feelings and welfare, not just “cutting him slack” because he’s helping.

And so, with that, once the crisis is resolved and all is said and done, Ken finally truly accepts Daisuke as his friend and moves him up to given-name basis (no honorific!). This is most prominently shown in Diablomon Strikes Back, where their interactions are now removed from the question of Ken’s former actions and his emotional problems, and it turns out, they’re still good friends in the sense that friends are. As in, people who laugh together, hang out together, converse with each other casually; even if they are working together on the same thing for the duration of the movie, it’s not such an emotionally tense situation that you could chalk their interactions up to sheer necessity. With Daisuke’s help, Ken was able to move on from all of his past hangups, and the two of them became able to enjoy the moment of “now” like normal children.

What Ken does for Daisuke

Daisuke may be simple-minded enough to not have deep-seated concerns that eat at him every day, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was a bit socially maladjusted during the early parts of the series. Namely, being really insecure and prone to getting defensive whenever he felt he was being made fun of. Those kinds of things were what was most likely to get Daisuke to “lash out” at others, because he slips into his worst bouts of these whenever he’s lacking in validation.

Daisuke was, undoubtedly, improving over the course of the series, with him slowly starting to become more assertive by the time of 02 episode 20. It’s incorrect to say that Ken was the only person who could truly help him with this; 02 is a series about a group dynamic after all (even if the Jogress pairs are the most instrumental in helping each other), and it would be a pretty unhealthy relationship if one person were so dependent on another to even remotely function. But starting in 02 episode 22, when the crisis is momentarily resolved and everyone’s not sure what to do, Daisuke’s feeling of being third wheeled by Takeru and Hikari shoots up right at the moment everyone’s feeling a bit lacking in purpose. Two episodes later, Miyako immediately stages an intervention to help keep his mind off of things, and she’s arguably even the most comfortable with him at this point in time.

It’s not that Daisuke isn’t improving, nor that his friends aren’t trying to help, but, well...emotionally sensitive as Miyako can be, she’s also a bit all over the place herself and sometimes needs restraining; Hikari may be assertive, but she’s pretty obviously apprehensive about shutting Daisuke down too bluntly, and Takeru being so hard to read and evasive about everything means that Daisuke can’t really tell what he’s thinking or understand his intentions; Iori is younger and is restraining himself, so he still won’t cross certain lines with Daisuke. So as you can see, they’re all doing their best, and they’re not doing a terrible job of it either; hell, the rest of the series involves them maturing into people who can better interact with and support each other, so their own relationships with Daisuke are likely to improve even well after the series ends. It’s just that, especially at this point in the series, there’s definitely room for an extra person to fill a certain niche that’s got a gaping void here, begging for someone who’s assertive and put-together enough to regularly keep Daisuke in check, yet also willing to be properly straightforward with him to the extent that he doesn’t have to feel insecure about their intentions. Hmm, who could that be?

Although “the priority of reaching out to Ken” eventually becomes enough of a distraction that it certainly takes Daisuke’s mind off potentially feeling insecure, as we start to see more “casual” interactions between Daisuke and Ken, we see that Ken actually fills in a lot of the gaps that had been so sorely missing in this group dynamic for a while. Forward-thinking as he is, Daisuke’s simple-minded way of going at things has its drawbacks in that he’s not very smart or good at thinking, but Ken is the opposite, being intellectually analytical and much more thoughtful overall, and since Daisuke is the kind of person who defers to others when they’re better than him at something, Ken being right next to him means that he can give him a hand in making important decisions he can’t by himself. This is especially so in Diablomon Strikes Back, when Ken’s role is largely keeping an eye on Daisuke and making sure he’s not a loose cannon -- something he’s very capable of doing -- but also simply being there as a springboard whom Daisuke can comfortably approach and talk to, since Ken is such a mild-mannered, straightforward person who won’t set off his overly defensive tendencies as easily.

That doesn’t mean that Ken is completely above teasing him, of course -- a lot of post-02 material in fact makes sure you understand that he’s not just some soft-hearted saint and can be quite the snarker when he wants, since his increased comfort level with Daisuke means he’s now able to poke at him here and there, even doing something as mean as dumping all of the Christmas shopping on him (the character songs and other related in-character material lie in questionably canonical territory, but that kind of punchline is not unreasonable to imagine given their respective personalities). But, overall, he sets the right tone for Daisuke to have a friend he’s able to be around regularly and receive support from, and to fill in that niche of his casual interactions so that Daisuke can have some more solid grounding in his life.

It’s also a testament to how much Ken himself had changed in terms of becoming the kind of person who could handle Daisuke like this. When the two of them first “met” in 02 episode 8, while Ken was still fully under the influence of the Dark Seed, even if we were to put the part about him being the Kaiser aside, this sort of person would never be able to become a good friend to Daisuke. This episode had Daisuke put him on a pedestal -- someone he’ll never be able to be as good as, whom he looks up to as an “idol”, much like the way Daisuke has a tendency to instinctively put himself down in uplifting others. Thus, it was a negative relationship for both of them; Ken being put on a pedestal that ultimately made him uncomfortable, and Daisuke contributing to putting him there in the first place, and taking it extra personally when that pedestal was shattered. But then, Daisuke himself (and, ultimately, the rest of the group) became able to treat Ken like the “normal person” he wanted to be, with no pedestals, simply considering him as a friend with his own feelings and needs; as a result, being this sort of “normal person” making friends through his true personality and desire to support others meant paved the way for him becoming the one person who was best equipped to deal with the very difficult-to-handle Daisuke.

Incidentally, in terms of Kizuna: considering how 02 was such a series about everyone becoming people who could fundamentally interact and communicate better with others, it stands to reason that everyone’s relationships with each other would uniformly improve even after the events of 02, and you can see better interactions between everyone that go beyond just the Jogress pairs. Ken’s clearly able to interact with more of the people in the group in a much more casual manner than he did in 02 itself, and it’s made an important point in the drama CD that Daisuke took everyone’s incidental advice to heart, not just Ken’s. However, advertising material still prominently features the two as a pair, and although part of this is of course due to marketing, Ken is also the one who gets the final words in extracting his “promise” from Daisuke in the drama CD; the official website also calls special attention to him being the one to accompany Daisuke on his ramen outings, even though the one depicted in the drama CD and movie was planned to involve everyone in the group. There are multiple indications that Daisuke himself has learned to become somewhat less defensive and prone to insecurity compared to himself in 02, and it seems that this was accomplished via Ken still actively putting himself in a role of checking on him and making sure he feels properly supported in all of this.

[willow-salix]

This is going to be out of the blue and there's no need for a response to it, but I guess I feel like some of you deserve to get a peek behind my armour.

Facebook just gave me a memory from 7 years ago, showing me an album that I'd rather not see quite honestly, but you know when you're just drawn in even though you know it's against your better judgement? Yep, that was me just now.

The album is full of screenshots of the absolute shit ton of crap that I've had on the Internet over the years.

I was in the RP world for ten years, and in that time I was verbally and mentally attacked a lot, I was mentally abused, I was stalked, I was blamed for things I never did, I was used as a scapegoat for things I never did. I was the victim of unwarranted attacks that had my accounts deleted by fb so that I lost YEARS of writing.

I got my heart broken over and over again by people that claimed tk be my friends, people that claimed to love me but that were all too happy to dump me the second a better option came along. People that I sat up all night with, that I lost sleep over, that I went out of my way to help and support.

Some of them lied to me so throughly that they lied about who they were, where they lived, their job, their gender, their nationality, what other characters /accounts they had and everything else you could think of for over TWO years.

I've had one that claimed to be my best friend, sit on my couch, my actual couch, in my house and lie to my face. Lie to me and his long term partner and mother of his three kids that he wasnt cheating with a cheap bitch he met online (the third person he'd done it with I found out after) I only found out about her when she messaged me to tell me.

I stopped talking to him, after their friends started a smear campaign against me, and even then EVEN THEN, I talked it out and started talking to him again. But he turned it around and started blaming me and guilt tripping me again. So I cut him off. He stalked me. Like messaging my friend, posting things to me (actual letters through the mail) making new accounts to message me, buying new phone sims to call me. This was 6 years ago. He called me at the start of lockdown and left a message on my voicemail.

This man mentally abused me. He'd force me to talk to him when I had a problem and then he'd not like what I said, so he'd go silent and ignore me for up to three days, to the point that I'd worked myself up so much that I was apologising, that I was taking the blame for having feelings, only when he got that would he talk to me.

He was an alcoholic who worked in care if you can believe that, I supported him through him getting sober again, he still did all that to me.

I gave up on role play and let my character, my home, the one place I felt comfortable and safe, up. And I didn't go back for two years. I got talked around by someone, they made promises, I stupidly fell for it.

I then got used to bring their character back and to help them sort out storylines. I was then told they didn't want to work with me anymore because they had too much going on in their personal life, they blocked me and I then got screenshots that that had another writing partner already.

That broke me. That broke me and fandom and people and everything really.

I vowed never to go back.

Then I stumbled upon you lot. And I told myself not to get involved, not to start talking to anyone, not to start trusting again. Now look! Now bloody look!

I'm what... 500k + in a story that was never meant to be, I'm actually writing and collabing with people again and I have a character that I adore and feel just as comfortable with... And that is fucking scary.

It's sooooo scary. Like terrifying scary to me.

Because I'm having to trust again. Selene is like public property now, and I love how much everyone has accepted and adopted her and how they use her and write her too, that warms this cold, dead, suspicious heart of mine.

Because I can honestly say that Selene and John saved me and my sanity.

I am quite a sociable person, I love to chat to people and if I'm your friend I will go out of my way to do my best for you, to be there for you and to support you in every way I can. But I know I can be used and I dotn always see the bad in people. So I cut myself off and refused to allow myself to make friends again.

I was writing my novels and that was it. No interaction, no fun really. Then this loud mouthed witch blazed into my head, took one look at the spaceman and said "that one, he's mine, wrap him up I'll take him to go" and here she is.

They made writing fun again, they made it spontaneous and exciting, I suddenly had ideas again, people to talk to about the characters I love and it was hard. Because it was also good.

I had to trust the process, trust Selene.

But I'm also so wary. I'm wary that I'm gonna piss people off, that I'm going to annoy people with her and that people hate her. I know people don't like OCs' and I get major anxiety about that.

I've never had this amount of anxiety over stories before, never. Not my rp, not my novels, not the ones I did for class or competitions, nothing. This is singularly the most stressful writing I've ever done. Because these boys, they mean the world to me, they always have. They have always been my happy place since I was 5/6, they have always been my heart and home.

The problems I had in rp made me not like the books that I loved, the fandom I was in, because of peoples interpretations of the characters, the way they played them and the fact that they were so nasty to me. And I really really don't want that to happen here.

A few weeks ago I noticed that an account had bene set up that was clearly a piss take of me, of this account. And all the old fears and anxiety came rushing back. I instantly went running to Squiddy and Olliepig and basically tumbled around the group chat in a mess for a few minutes before I calmed down and realised what was going on and had a guess at who it could be.

But it's scary. Because I've been stalked, I've been badmouthed, I've had people make fake accounts of me to cause trouble, and it weighs on me.

Willow Salix is my author name, I had to choose that because my Pagan name (which I was writing under and still do on ff and a03) was too well known and my stalkers were reporting it every time I made a new account.

I had to come to love this name, come to see it as myself (willow is my actual real name btw) and feel comfortable with it. It's taken a long time, I've built my brand from it. I have five novels out under it. And to think of someone having an account with even a parody of that name gave me all sorts of chills.

I'm OK now, but yeah. Fun times.

So I guess... I just want people to talk to me. And I don't mean shine by ego lol, I mean that if I ever do anything to piss you off. If I ever say anything you don't like. If I ever annoy you with Selene or anything at all, PLEASE just come and talk to me.

I might put on a tough mask, and in general I am pretty hardy, but I'm a typical cancerian, hard outer shell, squishy inside.

Selene is my sanity in a home life that is far from easy, I won't go into major details but disabled husband, I'm a full time carer, he's majorly depressed and it's just... Yeah. Anyway, she's my refuge, she's my escape right now.

Actually making a side blog for her took so much guts, to allow her free rein to speak and act is scary as heck for me. Because I've been there and vowed to never go back.

The only good thing I took out of all my years of rp, apart from being able to make up a story pretty much on the spot, spontaneous replies, dialogue skills and character development, is my best friend in all the world @endellionaeternus who has seen it all and stuck by me through it all.

I have no real idea why I just typed all this, I guess I needed people to see where I'm coming from, and why Selene exists.

Yeah...

[bioticgoddess]

Untitled O-14 One Shot

Pairing: Osiris/Saint-14 (O14)

Summary: Grief. Angst. I have no shame when it comes to these two. Set sometime between Saint's death and the excursion to find him in the Infinite Forest.

Note: I apologize for any typos and grammar issues. Wrote this in one go because I'm a masochist. Enjoy!

I. Mercury: The Gray Pigeon Osiris listened to Saint's message again. His eyes were red from tears and rubbing at them with the heel of his hands. His gauntlets as stained as his scarf and skin from them. His skin raw and throat tight. How many times had he failed to tell Saint just how much, how deeply, his affections ran? How long had he hoped to see him again? How long, trapped in the Infinite Forest and playing a deadly game of keep-away with the Vex, had he dreamed of the Exo? Or asked Sagira to show his holographic projection in the hopes it would help sleep come easier and be less painful. And now? Now, all he had of him were memories, a fragment of ribbon caught in the pilot's seat, and this letter. Pressing the piece of Saint’s accolades to his forehead, he mumbled, “This will not happen. I...I will save you.” “Osiris,” Sagira asked gently, floating to her chosen cautiously. “Are you...no...what do you need?” The care in her voice was more than he could bear, no matter what the Warlock had resolved to do. Eyes closed, tight, he tried not to cry again - for all of them. When she pressed a flat portion of her shell to his cheek. It was cold comfort but she was trying and he knew that. He knew it better than anyone. He wept. II. Earth: The Tower, Osiris’s Private Study The report was laid out across the long table. Sagira floating over them, able to read from a distance so she wasn’t in Osiris’s space. He was determined, singularly focused now, and - though she had tried - could not be convinced from his path. The little golden ghost flexed the wings of her shell. It was all there. Everything the Guardians had seen in the Forest. Most importantly, he had been there. Saint-14 laid to rest in all his glory. A fragment of Geppetto brought back though they hadn’t been able to retrieve the Exo. She watched, frowning as much as was possible, at the piece of her lost friend. Geppetto had been one of the good ones. As determined to keep her guardian safe as long as she could. Only, someone - the Vex she thought - had killed her, snuffed out the poor Ghost’s light and she was afraid. If Geppetto had been slain then what hope did they have of saving Saint? No. She couldn’t think that. She wouldn’t. Osiris needed her to believe that this insane plan might work. That it had a ghost of a chance of working and that the Light would lead them to exactly when they needed to be. “This won’t be easy, even on Mercury,” she cautioned, projecting an image of the device they needed to build. It’s schematics on yet another data pad at the center of the table. The warlock’s gloved hands on either side of it. “We’re gonna need help.” “No. This...I owe him and so I will do this,” there was a fire in his voice bordering on anger. He was right, he had to be. Which meant that if anyone could do this, could walk the corridors of time and find Saint-14 - the right Saint-14 - it would be Osiris. Her chosen would not let this be the end of their story. Not now. Not ever. Not so long as he still grieved the man who’d shown him the simple joy of the night sky over Prague. And there, as he sat and began scrolling through the data pad on his chair, making a list of the needed supplies, Sagira could have sworn she saw him weeping again. One of his hands touched a spot on his breast, the place he’d carefully hidden away the scrap of purple silk ribbon that been left behind in the Pigeon. He whispered, “I’m coming Saint. I’ll find you. I promise.” III. The Infinite Forest: Time Unknown, Mercury Saint-14 had sent Geppetto on her way, hoping she could find a way out of the forest. If anyone could it was his little Ghost. She’d been a good companion all this time but he would not bind her to his fate, not if it was avoidable. No. Someone needed to tell Osiris what had happened. To apologize for the words in his last log entry on the Gray Pigeon. He trusted Geppetto to guide his precious phoenix back from the brink in his absence. It eased his mind that she’d have Sagira there to confer with and be the voice of reason. Yes. He would take as many Vex with him as he could. If he were truly lucky and the Light was with him, it would cleanse the forest. Maybe Mercury could be a garden world again? That would be nice. Chuckling to himself, he let his mind wander and for a moment, Saint-14 was in Prague with Osiris. They were sitting in the ruins of a building from long before the golden age. It’s stone walls provided a safe haven they hadn’t known they needed. He remembered a basket, barely held together except for prayers and an old - but clean - stretch of canvas. The meal within had been simple but their conversation, he’d made the Warlock smile broadly and laugh in a way no one else ever saw. He focused on the memory of the way his eyes wrinkled at the corners. The groaning of metal bodies held together with wiring and bolts echoed, shattering his moment. Too close. He’d run too close to taking memory and letting it become fantasy. Here, especially, that could never be. No, the Vex were closer than he expected. The Exo checked his ammunition with a huff, silently lamenting his ever diminishing reserves. Worst case, he could headbutt the bastards, but he didn’t relish the idea of getting up close and personal with the Vex. He wished he could have shared one more meal with Osiris, just the two of them. Perhaps something sweet? IV. The Infinite Forest: Time Unknown, Mercury Saint collapsed, heavy under his own weight. He couldn’t breathe. Joints were going stiff. Could feel everything starting to shut down. His Light was gone. His mind was hazy, vision unable to focus. Geppetto was gone. Safe at least. He hoped. “Do not blame yourself,” he whispered to the strange golden glowing hallucination. For a moment, he thought he felt the warmth of his touch against his cheek once more. V. Earth: Tower - Temporary Quarters assigned to Saint-14 “I’m sorry,” the Exo whispered, “I should not have left.” Osiris let out a sob of a laugh, “I left first and have regretted it ever since.” Not that he’d really had a choice. Exile or not, they could at least agree that he’d left the city first. His tone, the guilt that pulled at the edges of his joy made it sound to the Titan that he thought it absurd that the Exo apologized. They were silent for a moment. Not unsure but, unbelieving. They’d come to the little apartment that would be Saint’s, for now. They’d sought solace where others would not immediately seek either of them. They’d spoken as old friends with more secrets shared between them than half of the residents of the City. Stories of what really happened in half a dozen different and now mythic adventures that they had lived. Now, sitting in this space, with no one to watch them, it was different. Under the Exo’s luminous gaze, Osiris began weaving the violet ribbon he’d been fidgeting with on the Gray Pigeon’s steps into the net of those that stretched across the left of Saint’s breast plate. “It took longer than it should have but...I was resolved not to be parted from you,” the Titan explained, head tilted and eyes fixed where he could watch his partner’s fingers work. Their gloves and helms had been abandoned to the same sad little barren counter after they entered the dwelling. Those nimble fingers gently moved the ribbons that were taught so they held this new addition in place. His gloves long abandoned to one of the flat surfaces that Saint had chosen as a workbench. Voice steady despite the hesitancy in his words, “You’ve never told me what these were for.” “I thought you did not wish to know,” there was no judgement in his tone. “I do, I have been terrible at actually remembering to ask you” he swallowed, securing the ends of the ribbon, “There. Now I will be with you, no matter where you are.” He laughed, smile broadened, eyes warm, “Then I shall tell you, once you are ready to ask. You should know, there are few things in life I have always been certain of,” collecting the Warlock’s hands as he spoke, “That you are always with me is one of them.” “And you with me,” Osiris’s relief was palpable in that moment. This. He had dreamed of

this, of having time to sit and simply be with the other Lightbearer. That and deserts, but that would have to wait. The pantries, while stocked, lacked what he needed and tonight, nothing was more important than the time they were together and on finding the new laugh lines in the Warlock's face.

[radioactivepeasant]

Fic Prompts: Free Day Thursday

(More Everybody Lives au.)

Izuku hadn't expected the mysterious Shimuras to ask him to visit. Honestly, he hadn't even expected them to remember him. Ever since they'd moved out of intensive care, All Might had been visiting them every week. He never talked about those visits to anyone, as far as Izuku knew.

At least, not until he'd stopped Izuku on the way to lunch to tell him that "Tenko" wanted to see him.

"Keep in mind, young Midoriya," Toshinori said, "Young Shimura is...he er, bears an uncanny resemblance to a villain you have...history...with. And he is aware of that, so if you feel uncomfortable, or run into any traumatic triggers, don't hesitate to say so."

They found him playing with the PS Vita Izuku had leant him. As soon as Tenko moved, Izuku froze. All Might hadn't been exaggerating. Tenko's hair was loose, covering some of his face, and all Izuku could see at first was the scowl. He felt the ghosts of fingers around his throat.

Shigaraki?!

Beside him, Toshinori cleared his throat, and the young man in the bed jumped. He looked up at them, momentarily confused. Izuku could understand the feeling. Seeing an overall lack of scars and lines on Shig- Shimura's face left him disoriented, like he was looking at a doppelganger.

[[MORE]]

The first thing he said to Izuku, oddly, was, "How do you beat the giant Flan? It just party-wiped me again."

Then he lifted his bangs and got a good look at his second visitor. Tenko dropped the Vita and scrambled off the bed. He stopped a few feet from Izuku and just stared at him.

"Is he-? Is this-?"

Toshinori nodded. "Shimura Tenko, allow me to introduce my successor, Midoriya Izuku. Young Midoriya, this is...my predecessor's grandson."

Tenko gave them a bittersweet smile. "Oh wow, your hair really did stay that curly. Gram always thought the curls would go away when you got older."

Izuku blinked. Did this person know him somehow?

Tenko waved his hands quickly. "Ack! Sorry, wait, let me back up!"

He backed up physically a step, as if to emphasize his words. "Uh...let's see. Has Dr. Flashpoint's agency proposed Multi Theory yet?"

"The...thing about extra dimensions?" Izuku asked after a moment, "I thought that was a String Theory thing."

"Not...exactly..." Tenko said awkwardly. "Look, I'm really bad at science stuff, so you're going to have to be content with a terrible simile. It's like, uhhhhhh, it's like if you peel a stick of string cheese. It all starts from the same spot, but then one string goes left and one string goes right."

Toshinori shook his head and laughed under his breath. "String cheese," he muttered, "Egg in the microwave. Now there's two of them."

Izuku found that he was a little less put-off by the resemblance to Shigaraki now that he'd heard Tenko speak. Their voices were similar, but not similar enough to unsettle him too badly. He tried to work out what the older boy was trying to say, and it finally clicked that he was in the hospital with two Shimuras.

"Are you saying you come from one of those, er, strings?" he asked cautiously.

Tenko nodded eagerly. "Yes! Yes, exactly!" He held he hands up parallel to each other. "Okayokayokay, so. Let's say you're the string on the left, where Gram died when All Might was my age give or take. So here's Gram and me on the right, where Gran Torino was the one who died."

The thought weighed sickeningly on Izuku's mind. He couldn't imagine the thought of losing Gran Torino now that he knew the man. He swallowed hard.

"That's terrible," he managed.

Tenko took another step back and collapsed to sit on the end of his bed. "Terrible doesn't begin to cover it," he said glumly. "Creep for One couldn't stand being foiled by Number Seven. He escalated outrageously. Anybody we knew, anybody we loved, anybody I even met at school. All gone. Things went from dystopian to apocalyptic by the time we escaped."

Now he was afraid to ask. But curiosity drove Izuku to reluctantly say it anyway. "How did, uh, how did you know me, there?"

The older boy shuddered and looked away. "We were neighbors. Your mom half raised me when Gram and All Might had to work. It's not going to do anyone any good to talk about what happened to everyone in our timeline, so don't ask."

He rubbed his fingers together oddly, as if remembering a texture. "I guess you could say my string snapped in half. So we kinda...jumped to your string."

Izuku wasn't sure he believed any of that, but he still asked, "How?"

Tenko shifted uncomfortably. "...uh...I...may have stolen a villain's super-collider and combined it with a warp gate."

Well, that explained why he'd launched out of Kurogiri, at least.

"Singularly horrible experience, by the way," Tenko added, "0/10 stars. Do not recommend."

Despite himself, Izuku cracked a smile.

Toshinori cleared his throat and placed a hand on Izuku's shoulder. "My boy, would you be comfortable with me leaving you to get to know young Tenko for a few minutes? If you'd rather I stay, we can just go visit Nana afterwards."

Privately, Izuku thought that All Might probably wanted to speak to his mentor alone. He hadn't seen her since high school, right? Izuku couldn't imagine being separated from All Might for thirty years and then unexpectedly reuniting. He could handle a little discomfort if it meant All Might got to spend some time with Nana, Izuku decided.

"I'll be fine, All Might," he promised.

"I won't try to sneak into the waiting rooms this time," Tenko promised.

"This time?"

"Look, the food here is so bland my tastebuds cry," Tenko huffed. "Can you blame me for trying to find a vending machine?"

He waved Izuku over. "So...have you beaten XIII 2?"

Izuku was confused until he saw Tenko pick up the PS Vita. "Oh! Yeah, just recently. You can save over my file if you need room, I don't mind."

Tenko tugged Izuku down to sit beside him. "Okay, what is the deal with the One Ton Tomato flan and why can't I kill it?"

He turned the screen back on and Izuku peered over his shoulder. Then Izuku laughed.

"Oh! You're not supposed to kill it here, there's a cutscene coming!"

"You say that, but the only cutscenes I've been getting are the "Game Over" ones."

When Toshinori returned five minutes later, pushing Nana in a wheelchair, they found the boys huddled over the Vita. Tenko was yelling at the screen, and Izuku appeared to be trying to help him pick dialogue choices.

Well, at least they were getting along.

[secretsolenoid]

A belated Secret Solenoid gift for psymon on twitter!

“You don’t have to stay here, you know.” 

Ratchet grunts, his attention on the space bridge controls. “What?” 

Arcee, standing by the gate of the bridge, gives him a knowing look. “You don’t have to stay trapped on Earth forever.” 

“I’m not trapped here,” Ratchet says stiffly, gesturing towards the bridge. “Minor ah--hiccups aside, the space bridge is fully functional. I do not require some--of some rescue, Arcee. There is work to be done and liaising to manage with Agent Fowler. Unless you would prefer to take over management of the Earth Base yourself? Have you perhaps gained a new skill in engineering while you were away on Cybertron?” 

Arcee rolls her eyes and crosses her arms in front of her chassis. “That’s not what I meant,” she says, “and you know it. You can take a day to go to Cybertron if you want. A week, even.”

“I certainly can not,” Ratchet huffs. “Even if I weren’t busy today, it is hardly advisable to travel through the space bridge with it unattended, as you well know. With no one to take over the controls other than, perhaps, you, I cannot leave my post. Until someone else decides to station themselves here on Earth, I am going to remain.”

“You could ask for someone to stay here in your stead for a few weeks,” she points out. “I’m sure Bumblebee would be happy to send someone your way.” 

“Someone like Bulkhead, who would be better placed on Cybertron to help with the rebuilding?” Ratchet scoffs. “No, I will stay here, thank you.”

“You don’t have to,” Arcee says. “But, fine. Any messages you want me to take back? For anyone in particular?” 

Ratchet goes stiff. “No,” he says. “Just pass on my well-wishes to the team.” 

Arcee presses her lip plating together to hold in a sigh. “Ratchet…” 

“Ahp-ahp-ahp!” Ratchet says sharply. He presses his hands down on the edge panels of the space bridge’s controls. “I already told you what I’m doing, and I won’t be talked out of it. If anyone is interested in “catching up” with me, they can comm me, or come visit themselves.” 

Arcee shrugs. “Well, I tried,” she says. “I’ll let them know you said hi.” 

“You can choose to do so,” Ratchet says stiffly and does not look up from the controls as she passes through the gate. 

-

He is busy, is the thing. There are a million things to take care of around the base, even with Agent Fowler bringing in some degree of funding from the U.S. Government and Rafael to handle the programming. 

There’s still plenty of manual labor to do and plenty more specialized tools that Ratchet has to figure out how to cobble together out of materials from Earth and the few that can be spared from the rebuilding efforts on Cybertron. He is, after all, still one of the Autobots’ best medics, and that expertise means he’s the only one with the familiarity of some of the methods of repair that used to be popular in the hospitals and universities of their planet. Most medics now know how to reattach a limb or close a bleeding wound, but few know how to recalibrate a spark chamber or rewire an optic as good as new. 

Ratchet will probably have to teach them how to do it-- eventually. For now, he can’t. 

And he certainly can’t return to Cybertron when that-- that Wrecker--

“Slag it,” Ratchet curses and brings his hand to his face. He can’t blame Drift for joining up with the Wreckers. He’s had more than enough time to get over the idea of his lover in that group and has confirmation from both Wheeljack and Ultra Magnus that he didn’t do too badly in the group-- though that bothers him on its own. He knows what the Wreckers can be like. Wheeljack is a perfect example of it. Rough around the edges at their best and occasionally actively bloodthirsty when driven to it. Knowing the environment that Drift came out of, Ratchet is sure that the Wreckers were familiar, but he’s not sure if they were the best thing for Drift. 

But Drift chose to go, and Ratchet chose not to follow, and now it’s been eons since they last saw each other. And now Drift is on Cybertron, and Ratchet is here on Earth. It’s the closest they’ve been since that fateful split, and here Ratchet is, staying right where he is. 

He’s always been a stubborn fool, is the thing. He knows that, even where it counts, he is likely to shoot himself in the foot, say something he’ll regret, cling too long to what’s comfortable rather than doing what’s best for him. Maybe it’s age that’s made him so intractable. Maybe it’s the war. Whatever the case, when he thinks about going back to Cybertron to find Drift and say--something, anything--to him, he can’t bring himself to make the call. 

So instead, he’ll stay here on Earth with his anger boiling and his spark aching, and refuse offers like Arcee’s, to help. 

-

It is only two Earth days later when he receives a message from Cybertron. It isn’t a video-- they rarely have time or the bandwidth for those these days, even with the space bridge. It’s just a list of provisions in the delivery, a request for whatever tools are finished, and a note that whoever they’re sending over will need to be introduced to Earth and the humans. Another new arrival from the depths of space who doesn’t know Optimus Prime’s team and the planet where the final days of the war were fought. 

Ratchet feels a frisson of nerves at the prospect, a tingle of static that runs all through his haptic net. He pushes it aside. He’s never been the type to see conspiracies around every corner, and he refuses to see one here. It’s not the first time this has happened, and while he finds introducing other Autobots to the organic planet singularly irritating, he did sign himself up for it. He has no one to blame for it but himself.

It’s a simple delivery run. Ratchet might not like it, but he can handle it. He sends back a confirmation to Cybertron, runs the time conversion, and discovers that he has a few Earth hours before the delivery from Cybertron. Just as well. Diving into his work will give him a chance to wipe these nerves out. 

It’s probably not Drift that they’ve sent to make this delivery. And if it is, Ratchet will deal with it then. No use worrying over it when there’s nothing he can do to stop it. 

-

He manages to finish a circuit diagnostic device in those few hours, but it doesn’t stop him from feeling jumpy and on edge the entire time. He runs a whole battery of tests once the device is finished, then does them again. When the only thing that does is leave him with an instrument he can’t justify fiddling with further, he turns his attention instead to the space bridge. Running more diagnostics gives him something to do with his hands, but it doesn’t give him anything else to think about-- he’s run these tests so many times he can make the adjustments while hardly thinking about it. 

Instead, he starts thinking about the very thing he was trying to avoid. What will he do if it isn’t Drift? What will he do if it is? 

He tries to think of something to say and finds his processor simply stalling. Nothing he could say seems particularly worth saying, especially when he can’t think of what Drift might have to say to him in turn. 

When the appointed time comes, it’s a blessing from Primus. 

Ratchet receives his first warning in a message from Bulkhead. It starts with a ping, then when Ratchet answers, a video opens. It fuzzes with static due to the distance, but Ratchet can make out Bulkhead’s grinning face all the same. 

“Heya, Ratch!” Bulkhead says with his usual ebullience. “How are you doing?” 

“Just fine, Bulkhead.” Ratchet responds. “What do you have for me?” 

Tellingly, Bulkhead’s optics slide away from Ratchet’s face. “Just, uh, some supplies. And, uh, a visitor! To carry the supplies.”

“Anyone I know?” Ratchet asks. 

Bulkhead clears his throat loudly. He’s still not looking at Ratchet. “Uuuuuh, maybe,” he says. “You know what, I’ll just let him through; you two can talk about it.” 

Ratchet can’t hold back a scowl, but he manages to hold back from barking at Bulkhead, who isn’t exactly innocent but is not deserving of Ratchet’s irritation at this situation. No one is, but Ratchet can’t help the way his nerves shunt themselves in bursts of outrage at every small thing. Maybe it will be better if he gets this over with. 

He huffs but lets Bulkhead get away with it. “Send them over, then.” 

Bulkhead’s shoulders sag with relief. “Starting bridge sequence, Ratch,” he says, and the video flicks off. 

Ratchet runs one final check, lets the bridge confirm coordinates, and steps back from the control panel when the bridge powers up and the glowing blue-green vortex appears. Everything looks stable, and there’s no reason it shouldn’t be. Ratchet could operate the panel, just in case something goes wrong, but Rafael’s programming is robust in that regard, and…

He needs to see. 

A figure starts to emerge from the glowing lights. Ratchet recognizes Bulkhead’s silhouette first, particularly with the shape of the supply trailer hitched to him. Bulkhead has been making most of the heavier supply deliveries. 

There’s another figure next to him, a much sleeker shape that Ratchet recognizes as a Cybertronian alt-mode. If he didn’t know better, he might mistake the form for Wheeljack having given up his Earth mode. 

But although the frame is red and white, it has none of the green stripes that distinguish Wheeljack. Ratchet recognizes this frame, too. 

There’s a patchy quality to his paint that speaks of recent repairs. Dents, the pucker of scarred weld lines, everything Ratchet spots on Drift’s frame maps a history of damage repaired. Ratchet steps forward and traces each one, energy singing electric along his lines in a way that he knows translates to a deep scowl. He rests his hands on his hips and waits for the two to halt and transform. 

Bulkhead does so first. “Hey, Ratch,” he says, still sheepish. Ratchet hardly spares him a glance. 

When Drift transforms, it’s… 

He looks the same. 

There are changes, of course. He’s cybertronian. Of course, he’s changed his frame, through preference or necessity or both, sometime during this Primus-forsaken war. Even with the changes to his paint and some of his outer plating, his faceplates are the same. He’s kept the blue optics. He’s still got that sword, even. 

And when he looks at Ratchet, there’s something warm in the glow of his optics. 

“Hey, Ratchet,” he says. 

Ratchet can’t get his vocalizer to work correctly. Instead, he grunts and nods and steps forward. Vaguely, he is aware of Bulkhead saying something about unloading. 

Drift keeps walking towards him. Ratchet can’t look away, can’t do anything to stop him when Drift reaches out and, with a moment of hesitation, takes his hands between his. He feels the contact like a spark in his plating. 

“You look… like you’re doing well,” Drift says, but it seems like more of a question than a statement. He’s looking over Ratchet’s hands, searching for signs of wear and tear, of maintenance. He knows that their hands are a medic’s livelihood because Ratchet taught him that so long ago. 

Ratchet knows that the hardships of the war’s end are written across his hands, visible to anyone who cares to look. 

“You look like you’ve gotten into a few scrapes, yourself,” Ratchet says. It comes out stiff and distant, more than he means it to, and he sees it register with Drift in the way he winces and lowers his optics. 

That shakes something loose in him. He’s lived through the war; he’s lost his oldest and dearest friend. If he’s to live on, will he do it alone? Will he push away this one thing that’s come through the war alongside him?

“I’m glad you made it through,” Ratchet says before he can begin to question himself. It’s still gruff, still stiff, but he hopes Drift will see the awkwardness for what it is, this time. 

It’s enough to get Drift lifting his helm, his optics bright and vulnerable. “Ratch…” 

“Come here,” Ratchet rasps. He grabs Drift by the shoulder, pulls his slighter frame in to wrap arms around him, and Drift goes with the motion, wraps arms around him right back. 

He’s trembling, ever so slightly, as he holds on to Ratchet. They stand there, so long that Ratchet loses track, just the two of them, together. 

Eventually, Ratchet tunes back into his surroundings to the sound of Bulkhead resetting his vocalizer. 

“Sorry, Ratchet,” he says. “I just, uh…” 

Ratchet has to reset his vocalizer as well. “I’ll just send you back through the space bridge, shall I?” 

“Great,” Bulkhead says. “I’ll talk to you two again later.” 

-

After Bulkhead is gone, things lapse back into silence. Drift lingered close through the process of starting up the space bridge, and while Ratchet had always grouched about clinginess before, now he feels the need for closeness just as acutely. Now that they’re alone, and the initial spell has broken, though, he isn’t quite sure what to do. 

He resets his vocalizer (if he does much more of this today, he’s going to break it, he thinks to himself wryly) and turns to Drift. “Well. We can get you settled in. We’ll need to introduce you to the local Earth authorities at some point, but Fowler is due later in the week… and we could get you an alt-mode to scan, unless you’d like to watch the highway for whatever comes along.” 

Drift fidgets, glancing away and then back to Ratchet. “Honestly, Ratch,” he says, “I just… want to spend time here, for a while. Talk.” 

He reaches out for Ratchet’s hands again. Ratchet lets him. He’s the heavier of the two of them, and Drift couldn’t pull him over if he wanted to, but Ratchet lets him lead. Drift guides them until they’re standing toe to toe, and tips his head up toward Ratchet’s. 

Feeling like a magnet, Ratchet tilts his head down until they’re pressed together, forehead and lip plating. It’s awkward but so gentle, and familiar as his own spark. However long Drift meant the kiss to last, it lasts longer, and when they finally draw apart, Drift is smiling. To his chagrin, Ratchet is too, but he can’t find it in himself to squash it. 

“Talk, huh?” he says with a chuckle. “All right. We’ll talk.”

[leothelionsaysgrrrr]

💋🍒🧡📙🍋🌠 for EREN bc i miss him

THANK U BB I MISS THE BIG GRUMPY MAN TOO :’) 

💋 How affectionate are they with their friends? Their family? Their romantic partner(s) (if they have any)? Are they more physical or emotional when it comes to displaying their affection? Why?

Eren's not an inherently affectionate person, but his family all are and have been his whole life.  He’s fine with that, mostly, because they generally understand and respect his boundaries, and because being affectionate with his parents and grandparents and siblings and their wives and children doesn’t draw the same kind of scrutiny as showing the slightest hint of interest in friendship or romance does.  Historically, he’s always been aloof and insisted he have his own space and time to be alone, focused almost entirely on his training or work.  It became something of a game amongst his peers to see who could get him to smile at or speak to them, or even to try to seduce him, which let’s be real is pretty uncomfortable and embarrassing.  It’s a shame because he’s capable of being really gentle and sweet, but he only feels comfortable sharing that part of himself with the person it’s directed to when they’re in private, and only when he knows it isn’t just for show or going to end up with the whole clan talking about it behind his back.  

🍒 What kind of things do they expect from their relationships? Does this differ between platonic relationships and romantic ones? Is your OC “demanding” or a door mat? What kinds of things do people expect from them in a relationship?

Like with his family, he expects that they understand he has boundaries and respect them, that they pursue friendship or romance with him based on his own merit and not based on his relationship to anyone else, and that they have some patience with him.  He does really, really like to be alone and given his own space, and he appreciates when people wait to be invited into it rather than intruding or acting entitled to his time and space.  I wouldn’t call him demanding, since he’d never dictate to anyone else what they should or shouldn’t do or want out of life, but he knows what he wants and won’t compromise to be with someone if it means he has to give up on his goals or give in to things he doesn’t want.  The worst thing to him is someone who doesn’t see him as Eren, but rather as ‘Tasalin’s brother’ or ‘Nathra’s son’ or even ‘Davhal’s apprentice’ or something else to that effect, and who would see him as their friend/lover/husband rather than his own person.  He wants to be recognized on his own merit for his own accomplishments, and framing him and what he’s done or is capable of doing as someone else’s doing is a really low blow to him and basically guarantees the end of any relationship with him of any kind.

🧡 Who is your OC’s favourite person? Why is this person the top of their list and have they actually met them (an idol or rolemodel or celeb can be someone’s favourite after all!).

Probably the younger of Tasalin’s twin sons, Ashralan.  He’s a quiet boy who’s often considered quite strange, but Eren’s been able to connect with him and understand him where he often confuses everyone else.  He also loves his mother, Lilya, a great deal, as she’s always been nothing but kind and supportive to him even if she hasn’t always understood him very well.  Tasalin was his favorite person for a long time, but their relationship has been strained since Tasalin removed him from warrior training and sent him to apprentice with the forgemaster instead.  And, of course, Emma, eventually.  He likens being with her to welcoming her home as opposed to inviting her in; he feels like she belongs in his space, and always has, rather than like he’s had to make room for her, and that’s one of the most comforting feelings he can have around another person.

📙 What kind of subjects (of conversation, of discussion, in school or whatever) does your OC find interesting or engaging or that they can talk for hours about? What kind of stuff do they just find fun?

Eren’s job is his life, so it also tends to be all he really talks at length about. He’s genuinely very interested in techniques for crafting and maintaining weapons and armor, as well as knowing how to use them, and he will absolutely stew in quiet, seething rage until given an opportunity to point out when someone is very, very wrong about something he’s knowledgeable about. To get him to talk about anything personal, he’d have to be really close to someone, since he needs to feel like his point will get across and be understood despite him not being the best at articulating it.

🍋 Does your OC act petty and jealous easily? What sort of things make them feel like this and do they experience guilt for getting so worked up? How do they deal with these emotions when they get them? If your OC doesn’t feel like this often, why not?

He can definitely be petty, but very subtly, in ways that are only really satisfying to himself, and not in a way that would make people lose confidence in him or his work.  Jealousy manifests in him as more of an indignance that, if given a chance, he could do something better than someone else.  That one is mostly related to fighting - he doesn’t train with the warriors anymore, but trains himself on his own since the better he understands the use of a weapon, the better he can be at crafting them - and the lingering resentment over that being taken from him.  He’s a singularly talented smith and overall well settled into that role, but remains intensely bitter over the fact that his choice was taken away from him.  He doesn’t lash out, though, unless he’s being pressed to talk about it, and usually just withdraws when he starts particularly feeling this until he can calm himself a bit.    

🌠 Who was your OC’s first friend? Do they remember them or are they still friends now? Talk about some of the people your OC has lost contact with over the years. Do they have any regrets about losing these people and would they revist them if they could?

If we’re stepping outside the realm of ‘Leo’s ocs only’, his first friend who wasn’t one of his siblings would have been Avira, with whom he was able to establish a tacit, low pressure friendship largely based on mutual understanding as city elves adopted into the clan, and a kind of distance they felt from it.  Otherwise, he didn’t really make friends until he met Emma and Lux with the Inquisition.  He trained with a lot of his peers, but his focus was on the training and not the peers, and thus never came to consider any of them friends.  His mentor at the forge, Davhal, is pretty important to him and he respects the man a great deal, but it’s a very strictly mentor/mentee relationship and Eren does not consider him his friend.  The only person he’s ever really felt like he’s lost, honestly, is Tasalin, and on the surface at least he’s more bitter and resentful.  There is some regret there, but he’s quite stubborn and largely can’t shake blaming Tasalin for the way things have turned out between them.

Got any more?

[kanasmusings]

Here’s track 2 of QUELL’s Believer Single! This is for @angrypainternerd because we were both fangirling over the twins a while ago XD

Translations under the cut, enjoy~ There are a lot of translator’s notes on this one because they explain a lot of stuff regarding their names and all that so please bear with my explanations ^^

Track 2 -  「重なる波紋」 “Overwhelming Ripple”

  ISSEI:            (panting) This is…

SHU:              Have you come to? That’s great.

ISSEI:            You are?

STAFF:         Izumi-sama, the food is over here. The spare towels are by the wash basin.

STAFF:          If you need more please don’t hesitate to ask.

STAFF:          Would there be anything else?

SHU:               We’re fine for now.

SHU:               Thank you so much for everything. They were a great help.

STAFF:          Please think nothing of it.

STAFF:          Now then, I’ll be excusing myself.

(staff leaves and closes the door behind him)

  SHU:              Did that wake you?

ISSEI:             No…

SHU:              How are you feeling?

ISSEI:            Before that, where’s Ichiru—ah, where’s my younger brother?

SHU:               He was right beside you until a while ago.

SHU:              I didn’t want him to catch a cold so I told him to go shower.

SHU:              He’s doing great so you don’t need to worry.

ISSEI:            (sighs out of relief) Is that so?

SHU:              Did the medicine work? You look better than a while ago.

SHU:              Your fever is—

(Shu reaches a hand out to touch Issei but Issei swats him away)

SHU:               Ah…

ISSEI:             Ah, that’s um…

ISSEI:            I’m sorry…

SHU:              No, I’m sorry for suddenly trying to touch you.

SHU:              I’ll apologize now but I had a doctor examine you while you were asleep.

SHU:              It’s supposed to be only a light cold but because of your fatigue and hunger it got worse.

SHU:              It seems like it’ll be fine after your fever goes down.

SHU:              Here’s a thermometer. I think it’d be better if you do it yourself.

ISSEI:             …

SHU:              What’s wrong?

ISSEI:            Why do something like this?

SHU:              “Something like this”?

SHU:              Ah, I’m just being meddlesome.

SHU:               I couldn’t leave you two alone.

SHU:               That’s all there is to it.

ISSEI:            A while ago…

ISSEI:            He said “Izumi”…

ISSEI:            I didn’t think it possible but…

ISSEI:            Are you Izumi Shu?

SHU:               You know about me?

ISSEI:            Even if I didn’t, that face—

(door opens suddenly)

ICHIRU:        Hey, um…! I don’t know how to turn that shower off…

ICHIRU:       Issei!

(Ichiru runs to Issei)

ISSEI:            Ichiru.

ICHIRU:        What about your fever? Are you in pain?

ICHIRU:        Does it hurt somewhere?!

ISSEI:            Ichiru. Your hair… it’s dripping.

ISSEI:            You have to dry off properly.

ICHIRU:        (sighs out of relief) I’m so glad…!

ICHIRU:        You’re back to normal!

(Ichiru hugs Issei)

ISSEI:            Ichiru, you’ll get my cold if you stick too close.

ICHIRU:        That’s fine.

ICHIRU:        It’ll get better even if I did.

SHU:               I’ll go turn the shower off.

(Shu walks to the bathroom)

ISSEI:             Ichiru.

ISSEI:            Where are we?

ICHIRU:        In a really big hotel.

ICHIRU:       ��When you said you can’t go to a hospital, he told the taxi to take us here.

ICHIRU:        This is where he’s staying, he says.

ICHIRU:        Sorry for going with him suddenly.

ICHIRU:        But, I…

ICHIRU:        I thought that you were going to die and…

ICHIRU:        I- I got scared…!

ICHIRU:        That’s why—

ISSEI:            (giggles) I won’t die from just this.

ICHIRU:        That’s great.

SHU:               You two are hungry, right? There’s food prepared at that table there so go ahead and eat.

ICHIRU:        … Issei and I don’t have any money.

SHU:              Don’t worry about that.

ICHIRU:        But…!

(Ichiru’s stomach grumbles)

ICHIRU:        Ah…

SHU:              You don’t have to hold it in.

ICHIRU:        I’m not really—

ISSEI:            Isn’t this too much for just being “meddlesome”?

SHU:              Is that so?

ISSEI:            You won’t benefit from saving us.

ISSEI:            Am I wrong?

SHU:              Well… There’s really no merit to it.

ICHIRU:        Right?! You’re too suspicious!

SHU:              Then, let’s make one.

ISSEI:            Huh?

SHU:              Let’s make it something I can benefit from.

SHU:              If we do that then you’ll eat properly now, won’t you?

SHU:               Let’s see… What’s good?

SHU:               Hmm…

SHU:              Ah, I’ll continue thinking so you guys go ahead and eat. It’ll be a waste if they get cold.

ICHIRU:        You’re so weird.

SHU:               It’s a little too late for that now.

SHU:              I can’t eat that much alone so if you don’t help me eat, all of that will go to the dump.

SHU:              That’s a waste, isn’t it?

ICHIRU:        It’s obvious that you shouldn’t throw away food!

ICHIRU:        We’ll eat properly so you don’t have to guilt us into it.

ICHIRU:        Issei, do you think you can handle soup?

ISSEI:             Yeah…

ICHIRU:        It’s hot so be careful.

  SHU:              Alright, I’ve decided.

SHU:               I’ll explain it while you’re eating.

SHU:               Please answer my questions.

ICHIRU:        What kind of questions?

SHU:               A lot.

ICHIRU:        “A lot,” you say…

ISSEI:            Is that the payment for this meal?

ISSEI:            Is it?

ISSEI:             Your merit…?

SHU:               You’re quite fixated on that, huh?

ICHIRU:        There’s no such thing as a free meal.1

ICHIRU:        Even we know that much.

SHU:               I understand.

SHU:               Then think of it as a preliminary investigation if you will.

ISSEI:             If that’s so then… sure.

ISSEI:             I understand.

ISSEI:             What’s your question?

SHU:               Thank you.

SHU:              Let’s see…

SHU:              You two are brothers, right?

ISSEI:            Yes. We’re identical twins.

SHU:              That’s why you look so much alike.

SHU:               Your names are?

ICHIRU:        What’re you gonna after hearing that?

SHU:              If I don’t know your names it’ll be harder to talk to you, right?

ICHIRU:        I’m Kuga Ichiru.

ICHIRU:        You write it using the more difficult way of writing “ichi” and “ru” from “nagareru”. Ichiru.2

ISSEI:             I’m Kuga Issei.

ISSEI:            Just like with his “ichi”, my “i” is written the same plus “sei” from “star”. Kuga Issei.3

ISSEI:            By the way, I’m the older one.

SHU:              Ichiru and Issei…

SHU:              The first shooting star, huh?4

SHU:              Those are such wonderful names. Your parents must have adored you to give you those names.

ICHIRU:        That’s not possible.

SHU:               Why?

ICHIRU:        They’re not names that our parents gave us.

ICHIRU:        Plus… If they were happy they wouldn’t abandon us…!

ISSEI:            Ichiru.

ISSEI:            I’m sorry.

ISSEI:            We’re abandoned children.5

SHU:              Ah… I see. I asked something I shouldn’t have.

SHU:              I’m sorry.

ISSEI:             You don’t have to apologize.

SHU:              But it’s not something I should’ve meddled in. I’m sorry.

ISSEI:            Please continue your questions.

SHU:               Thank you.

ISSEI:             Ichiru, you can eat, too, you know? It’s better if you do.

ISSEI:            It’ll be such a waste not to.

ICHIRU:        I get it! There’s nothing wrong with eating, right?

(Ichiru starts eating)

SHU:               You look completely the same but your personalities are different, huh?

ISSEI:            We get told that a lot.

ICHIRU:        We’re our own person so that’s obvious.

SHU:               It seems that way. I seem to be saying a lot of rude things since a while ago.

ISSEI:            Any more?

SHU:              Why were you in a place like that?

ICHIRU:        It was by chance…

SHU:              By chance, huh?

SHU:              It may be rude if I ask this but…

SHU:               Do you have nowhere to go home to?

ISSEI:            Why do you think so?

SHU:               Since that place wasn’t somewhere you should be nor is there a place to rest.

SHU:              Plus, you’ve been wary of me all this time but you’ve never mentioned anything about going home.

SHU:              Is that because you have nowhere to go home to?

ISSEI:            …

ICHIRU:        We’ll be looking for one from here on…

SHU:               I see.

SHU:               Where have you been living until now?

ICHIRU:        We used to live at the factory’s dorms.

SHU:               In past tense, huh?

SHU:              Did you quit?

ICHIRU:        Yeah. Is that bad?!

SHU:              There must be a reason but…

SHU:              Did you leave even if you had nowhere to go to?

ICHIRU:        Yeah, that’s right! It’s exactly like that!

ICHIRU:        We left even if we have nowhere to go to! We didn’t have a choice!

ICHIRU:        I don’t want to continue living in a place where people think of Issei as a thief!

ICHIRU:        What else were we supposed to do?!

SHU:              Thief? That’s not a nice thing to be called.

ICHIRU:        Those guys knew that Issei won’t fight back so they blamed him for their own mistakes and made him do unnecessary jobs.

ICHIRU:        Even today…! He was told to return the money even if he didn’t take it…!

ICHIRU:        Everyone just stood there and watched!

SHU:              Did you object?

ICHIRU:        I did! I did but…!

ICHIRU:        No one wanted to believe me!

ICHIRU:        Everyone called Issei a thief…!

ISSEI:            Ichiru, I’m fine with handling that much..

ICHIRU:        Even if you’re fine with it, I’m not!

ISSEI:            Ichiru…?

ICHIRU:        I don’t want to go back to that place again.

ICHIRU:        As if I would…!

ICHIRU:        But…

ICHIRU:        I ran off on my own and I dragged Issei with me…

ICHIRU:        And now, we’re in this situation…

ICHIRU:        I’ll repent for it. I’m sorry.

ISSEI:            It’s not Ichiru’s fault.

ICHIRU:        If it’s not my fault then whose fault is it?!

SHU:              Ichiru.

SHU:              Calm down for a bit.

ICHIRU:        Shut up! Don’t touch me!

ICHIRU:        Even if they tell us to live there, I’ll refuse!

ICHIRU:        Even if they said that they’ll take care of us or be our guardians.

ICHIRU:        If they go to the police we might get caught!

(Ichiru starts crying)

ICHIRU:        No one…

ICHIRU:        I can’t trust anyone…!

ICHIRU:        There’s no way I can!

SHU:              I see. I understand.

ICHIRU:        I…!

ICHIRU:        I really wanted things to go well.

ICHIRU:        But…!

SHU:               I understand. No more.

SHU:              It’s okay, Ichiru.

SHU:               You did well.

SHU:              You wanted to protect Issei, didn’t you?

SHU:              You love your brother a lot, don’t you, Ichiru?

SHU:              You did well hanging in there.

ICHIRU:        (holding in tears) It’s not like… I’m happy getting praised by you.

SHU:               Yeah, I know. I asked a little too much.

SHU:              Let’s talk more after we’re done eating.

SHU:               I’m a little hungry now, too.

(Shu starts eating)

SHU:               It’s delicious.

  ==END==

 Translator’s Note(s):

1 This is actually a Japanese proverb [只より高い物はない/tadayori takai mono wa nai] that literally means “Nothing costs as much as what’s given us.”

  2 Ichiru’s name is written using the characters [壱] which is the more difficult/traditional way of writing “one/一” and [流] which can be read as “ru”, “ryuu”, etc, (i.e. from the word “nagareru/流れる”.)

3 Issei’s name is written using the characters [壱] which is the same as Ichiru’s and [星] which can be read as “sei”, “hoshi”, or “shou”.

  4 You get this phrase if you combine their names together. [一番流れる星/ichiban nagareru boshi] is what Shu says. You get this by combining: [壱] (from both of their names) and then [流] (which can be read singularly as “nagareru” from Ichiru’s name) and lastly, [星] (“boshi” from Issei’s name). Thus: 壱(番) 流(れる) 星! (First shooting star) That’s such a nice combination of names~

5 Issei actually uses the term [捨子/sutego] here which is literally “abandoned child/children”.

[braincoins]

Title: Where Thoughts And Feelings Dwell Fandom: “Voltron: Legendary Defender” Summary: Allura's connection to all the Lions has been strengthened... except one. Why is the Black Lion pulling away from her? Ships: Shallura Warnings: N/A Author’s Notes: Day 8 prompt for Shallura Holiday Month! Day 8 was the choice of Paladins or Lions and I kind of struck a middle ground here.

A little kingdom I possess, Where thoughts and feelings dwell; And very hard the task I find Of governing it well. - Louisa May Alcott

Ficlet below the cut (1705 words - also on AO3)

           Something strange had been happening ever since Shiro – the real Shiro – had returned to them. The Paladins had returned to their True Lions, and Voltron was back in top form. Allura was focusing on improvements to the Castle, but sometimes, she felt… strange. Like something about her was muted. Before she fell asleep each night, she’d try to ferret it out. It took her more than a movement to realize what it was.

           Father had connected the Lions to her quintessence. She could locate them by focusing on that connection and channeling it through the Castle’s star maps. She realized her connection to the Lions was stronger now. Chasing the sensation back in her memory, it had begun when she’d first bonded with Blue. She could feel the Lions now, as if they were as much a part of her as her own arms and legs.

           Except for Black.

           Her connection to Black was dimmer than to the others, thready and weak, like a dying heartbeat. That was why she felt muted. That was why her head and heart felt like they were wrapped in baaran wool. Realizing that had kept her from getting much in the way of sleep that night.

           She had resolved to do something about it.

           So now here she was, in Black’s hangar. Shiro and the other Paladins were on the training deck, with Coran putting them through their paces. She looked up at the largest and most powerful of the Voltron Lions as she stood before it. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

           It was silent.

           She sighed and closed her eyes, focusing on finding the link within her to Black. And just when she found it, it dimmed further, like Black was withdrawing from her.

           Her brow furrowed, but she didn’t open her eyes. “Why? Why are you pulling away from me?”

           Shiro’s face flashed before her eyes.

           “Shiro? What about him?” Her heart picked up. They were in a conversation of sorts, at least. Unless that was just my own mind thinking about this Lion’s paladin.

           There was a slight strengthening of the bond after she had that thought. She tried to deliberately think of Shiro, to see what Black would do.

           Shiro. Strong, capable. A leader. A great warrior. A survivor.

           The connection dimmed. Allura exhaled harshly through her nose, but kept at it.

           Shiro. Supportive. Caring. Compassionate.

           The connection was regrowing slowly, Black warming up to this picture of its Paladin. Allura continued along those lines to encourage things.

           He brings hope to everyone. He’s so helpful, not just to the universe and the team, but to me.

           The connection increased further.

           He’s so strong and so steadfast. He’s the team’s rock, our guiding star…

           The connection weakened.

           MY guiding star.

           Stronger.

           Ever since we got him back, I’ve felt… better. More confident in myself, even though I’m not in a Lion any longer. He helps me to be a better leader. He… helps me a lot.

           Stronger still.

           He’s so caring and so loyal and so … handsome.

           The bond within her mind became the strongest she’d ever known it.

           She blushed and shook her head. But I shouldn’t think that way. That’s… inappropriate.

           And her connection to the Black Lion dimmed away again.

           She opened her eyes, face still warm. “Wait. Are you…?”

           The link between her and Black surged open. She had the strangest feeling of… frustration. And then images came to her mind, memories that were not her own, but seemed to be through her eyes. She was seeing the real world and these visions at the same time, and she closed her eyes instinctively. This left her with what Black was choosing to show her.

           She was sitting in Black’s seat, only those weren’t her legs in the Black Paladin armor, nor her hands on the control sticks. This is from Shiro’s point of view. I’m seeing through his eyes. The field of vision swung upwards to focus on the ceiling of Black’s cockpit, and there was a heavy sigh. She felt a tightness in her chest and heard Shiro’s voice. “Help me out. Help me not to think of her.” In response, the Lion activated and flew out of its hangar.

           A different time, but still from the same perspective. This time her – his – hands weren’t on the controls, but draped over his knees. There was a picture of her brought up on the monitor. “Stop that,” Shiro’s voice protested. Nothing happened. “Send that away.” The picture went away, only for a different one – still of her – to come up. “You’re not helping,” Shiro accused his Lion. Her heart (his heart?) was beating so fast.

           A third time. The field of vision was moving – first the control panels, then it rotated towards the door of the cockpit, then back to the panels. Shiro was pacing. “I know you can’t do anything about it, but if I tell Keith, he’ll never let me hear the end of it, and I have to talk with someone.” There was a pause and a feeling of annoyance in her. “No,” Shiro said abruptly. “No, I can’t talk with her about it. She’s the princess. She’s our leader. She’s my superior officer. Do you understand that?” Pause. “No, of course you don’t. I can’t. It’s inappropriate!”

           And then there were no more visions, just… feelings. A giddy happiness. That tightness in her chest again. Longing and desire and frustration. She could feel each one singularly, as if they were specific moments in time. The ones since his return were deep and passionate, but there was a singular moment, just before he disappeared: adrenaline, a stabbing pain that wasn’t physical, fear and anger and deep, deep sadness. She heard him scream her name, and the feeling was so intense that her eyes flew open and she barely bit back a cry of her own, of his name, in response.

           She was still in the hangar, still standing in front of Black, who was… waiting.

           Allura looked up at it. “You’re… you’re saying Shiro… cares for me.”

           Still waiting.

           “He loves me.”

           There was an affirmative feeling along the bond. The waiting feeling …shifted? It was more threatening now. It was like a parent asking, “What are your intentions towards my child?”

           Her mouth opened as she realized. “You’re protecting him. You know he loves me, and… you don’t want me to hurt him. That’s why you’re pushing me away.”

           Affirmation, but still waiting.

           “I’m… half-right?”

           Affirmation.

           She huffed and thought back. Her bond with Black had improved as she had focused on Shiro as caring and supportive. As she had thought about what Shiro meant to the team… no, to her. Black had specifically encouraged her thoughts about Shiro. When she had thought of him as handsome, her connection to Black had flared strong and bright in her mind.

           Allura looked around. She was alone in the hangar. No sign of anyone around. She licked her lips and closed her eyes. Shiro… he is handsome. He looks so dashing in his armor, and his Earth clothes are…

           Waiting.

           …almost indecent.

           Disappointment.

           She tried again. They’re practically painted onto him. You – I – can see every muscle. It’s like he was sculpted by the gods.

           Affirmation, and waiting.

           It’s so easy to talk with him. It feels comfortable, almost natural. I don’t have to be afraid of him judging me and finding me lacking in some way. He won’t tell me I’m weak. He will only ever shore me up.

           She remembered the time he expressed concern for her, stopped her from working, and told her to rest. His gaze was so soft. No sharp edges in his voice, just …caring. I always thought he was dedicated to our mission, but he showed me in that moment that he cared for me, too. I don’t know what would have happened if Zarkon hadn’t shown up, but… it was nice, in that moment. It was nice to know someone cared. It was especially nice that it was Shiro.

           And, if I’m being honest, when we had lost him, I… I blamed myself. He’s a good man, a good leader, and I felt responsible for his loss. I didn’t know how to go on like that. I… needed him. I still need him. Sometimes it feels like he’s the only one I can talk to as an equal. He’s the only one I can go to when I need support, and I need that. I need him.

           The connection surged again, and she got the distinct feeling that Black was purring.

           She opened her eyes. “I understand now. I have not been honest with Shiro, nor even myself. That was why you felt you had to protect him.” She walked forward and set a hand on one mighty paw. “I will be honest with him. Starting now.”

           The purring continued.

           “Well, after he’s done training with the other Paladins, anyway.”

           The purring paused, there was a moment’s silence, and then affirmation before the purring continued. Apparently that was acceptable.

           “I suppose it shouldn’t come as a surprise. The Paladins can only form Voltron when they are honest and open with each other, after all. I must be honest and open with the entire team in order for my connection to them and to the Lions to stay strong.”

           She smiled. “Thank you, Black. You’re doing an excellent job.”

           The robot purred – somewhat smugly, she thought – at her as she headed towards the elevator. It wasn’t going to be easy; she’d never been good at talking about her feelings with anyone outside of her family. But this was Shiro. Her feelings for him were stronger and deeper than for anyone else, and she remembered what she’d told Black about how he would never judge her. She remembered what Black had shown her about his own feelings for her.

           We will be honest with each other. We will forge a new bond together, and be stronger than ever before. Her smile slipped into a smirk as she stepped into the lift. And hopefully I’ll get to find out how good a kisser he is.

           Black purred approval in her mind as the doors shut.

[feathersandblue]

Hi!I love your meta about black sails characters and I've read your last one about flint's real motivations and how much more human silver is.One of the biggest critic moved to silver is about madi, and the fact that he betrayed her stopping the war without her consent. That he has taken away from her a possibility to free the world from slavery. A cause for which she was ready to die for and to see him dying too. And for this betrayal he doesn't deserve and won't obtain her forgiveness...

Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation, and canon does not really answer the question what their future relationship will look like - or rather, it indicates that while reconciliation is possible and Madi might be willing to forgive him, their relationship will never be the same.

I don’t think canon really backs the idea that she won’t be able to forgive him. The fact that Madi comes to him in their last scene is pretty telling - it’s meant to indicate that Madi is changing her stance, rather than Silver. If the creators hadn’t meant to imply that they would still be together in some form, they could easily have their last scene be a shot of Silver looking at her longingly from a distance, and she turning her back on him and walking away. 

Of course, we also have a very concise statement from the show’s creators: 

“The way you see them at the end, they’re in the same frame but they’re yards away from each other. Emotionally, that’s as close as they’ll ever get again.”(x)

So I think it’s made pretty clear that Madi does forgive him, but that it’s not really the same after. And how could it be? Silver has betrayed her. There are fundamental differences between them that have now become obvious, which at least Madi hasn’t really been aware of before. He’s not the person she thought he was.

Concerning the fact that Silver stops the war without her consent, and that this makes him a bad person … well, I have a couple of problems with that. 

1. One of them is a distinct one-sidedness in the way people look at their relationship, where Madi is treated basically as a saint, and Silver as an illoyal boyfriend who doesn’t support her and her cause as is his duty. But in a romantic relationship, both parties have obligations toward each other, it can’t be just a one-sided thing, no matter how much we relate to one partner and their goals and ambitions.

It’s also important to point out that if Silver had acted the way she wanted him to, Madi would be dead. Madi only survived the entire ordeal because Silver chose a wife over a war. If he hadn’t brought the cache, even though Flint and the maroon queen opted against it, the governor would have shot her. 

It’s also only fair to  mention that the choice between a noble cause and the life of a partner is not one that you can dictate to anyone. It’s a deeply personal decision. The fact that Madi’s life was more important to Silver than vice versa is not something you can really blame Silver for. 

“You may think what you want of me. I will draw comfort in the knowledge that you’re alive to think it.”

I imagine it’s pretty difficult to remain perpetually pissed at a person for saving your life, going forward. 

When Madi was imprisoned by Rogers, she wasn’t willing to bargain for Silver’s life. It was her choice. I don’t see anyone pointing out that it would have been her moral duty as a romantic partner to think of Silver and what they had together, that she is a horrible girldfriend for putting her beliefs first. 

And yet I see people say that Silver’s failure to act in a way that reflects her beliefs rather than his makes him a bad person. 

In a relationship between two equals, there is no such thing as an obligation to defer to your partner in such a profound way. There is no way to justify why Silver should have to defer to Madi. And yet parts of fandom consider him a horrible human being for failing to do just that.

So really, that one-sidedness, where people look at things only from Madi’s point of view - one that emphasizes her marginalization as a black woman and comes with the premise that Madi’s wants and needs clearly exceed Silver’s - that he’s a horrible boyfriend for disregarding her priorities, which are so much nobler and more important - is something I can’t share or support. People often judge their relationship from a position of real life activism, where the fact that Madi is fighting slavery is a killer argument. In my personal opinion, regarding their personal relationship as well as their historical situation solely from that perspective is somewhat reductive and simplistic.

2. The second problem that I have is the assumption that Madi was entitled to that war, as if war was some sort of possession or property. It was “her war”, and then Silver “took it away from her”. You might recall what I said about Flint personifying that war in my previous meta post. So according to Flint, Silver is a ruthless murderer; according to fandom, he is a thief. 

But no matter how you twist it, war is not something that people have a right to, because war always requires the partcipation of other people. It requires soldiers to do your dirty work. If you are a war leader, you have to have the support of your troups, you have to lead them into battle, you have to order them to fight and kill on your behalf.

I’ve already written extensively about how Flint acts as a leader, but there’s one thing that can’t be denied, and that’s that he’s willing to put his own life on he line, fighting side by side with his men. He’s doing more than his own share of dirty work, he’s usually part of the boarding crew or the vanguard. It’s rare that we see him stand back while others do the killing. 

When it comes to Madi, on the other hand, we have an entirely different situation. Madi is the heir of what is framed as a hereditary monarchy, she wasn’t elected into a position of power, she’s awarded that position - stepping into the footsteps of a leader who is “priestess, governess, warlord.” Her authority is absolute, she even takes pride in making it obvious to Silver in 3.08. that her men obey her without question. But Madi doesn’t do the dirty work. She doesn’t spill blood. In an era where war still means a lof of close combat, Madi steps back and lets other peope fight her battles. 

What right does she have to this war, morally speaking, when that war demands the obedience and the sacrifice of other people? A position of authority where you can order people to die is not something that any human being, no mater how much we like them, should be entitled to.

Imagine there’s a war, and no one shows up. (*)

Basically, what Silver and Julius do in the finale, is to make that war so singularly unattractive to people that they are no longer inclined to show up. They are no longer willing to kill and die on Madi’s behalf because, guess what, they, too, value their own lives and those of their loved ones more than they value the prospect of a long, bloody war that puts their own freedom at risk and has very little chances at success.

Tough shit. It almost looks like it’s been Madi’s war rather than “their war”, as she so succinctly phrases it in her conversation with Rogers. Madi felt so confident speaking on behalf of her people, but then it turns out that she never actually had their vote. It should be mentioned that Madi herself has not experienced slavery first hand - not the way that Julius, Max, Ruth, or her mother and her father have experienced it, who are all far less enthusisastic at the prospect of a war because they know how much they stand to lose when England retaliates. 

I am going to copy & paste a couple of praragraphs from one of my earlier posts here. 

Fandom often treats Silver as if he were taking away Madi’s agency, but that’s not really what he’s doing.

By removing Flint and the treasure from the picture, Silver basically dissembles the nukes and cuts the finances of a war that he considers a fucking nightmare, which, and I don’t think anyone can deny it, is a valid concern. Flint, as a war leader and a brilliant tactiction, second to none, is more of a force of nature than a man. His reputation, his tactical genius, his ability to overcome the greatest odds, and his ability to get people to follow him are nothing short of amazing. So really, the analogy of Flint being the nuke - the devastating weapon of mass destruction - is not far off. And of course, the treasure is both a media-effective means of propaganda and a valuable resource. 

Both Flint and the treasure, however, are also not something Madi had a right to, or at least, her right to them did not surpass Silver’s.

Silver has bled, and spilled blood, for each of these things.

Silver was a key player in securing the Urca gold in the first place. He bled for the cause (lost his leg in Charles Town), he was part of the Walrus crew which made Flint’s name what it became in the aftermath of Charles Town. He was the one who served as Flint’s quartermaster, he was the one who sailed with him into that storm, he is the one who went with him through the doldrums. When Flint made the bargain with the maroons, he made it under coercion - because the maroon queen threatened the lives of him and his crew. But it was Silver whose intervention forged that alliance. Without Silver, Flint would have given up in that cages, and all of our pretty pirates would have ended up dead either from torture or slave labor, or slain during their escape. 

Madi, on the other hand, got that war handed on a silver plate (pun intended). She was living on that island, and, like most young people, struggling to forge her own identity by establishing herself in opposition to the more protectionsist rule of her mother. Along came a bunch of pirates who offered her a shiny war, as well as the war leader to fight it for her, a man with the persuasive power to convince her mother to support it.

Madi’s war relied on Flint - his tactical skills, his willingness to sacrifice anything and everything for the cause. It also relied on Silver, who put his life on the line again and again, torturing, killing, and descending into darkness. Silver was reluctant to step into that role, and we can see, during season three and four, how he struggles not to let that darkness consume him. Long John Silver is also not something that Madi has a right to. Nor, and that is where we get back to 1, is his unwavering support and loyalty even when it goes against his beliefs, especially since she doesn’t seem willing to offer the same.

When I say that Madi’s war relied on Flint, there is also another aspect to it, wich ties back to the previous meta about Flint and his reasons for fighting. Madi’s war relies on Flint being fucking miserable. 

The thing that Madi seems most upset about in 4.10 is the fact that Silver sent Morgan to Savannah to look for Thomas Hamilton. 

But why would Madi be upset about the fact that Silver sent someone to find out whether his best friend’s lover might still be alive? I mean, let’s assume that the Spanish invasion hadn’t happened, that Morgan had returned with the good news that Thomas was alive, imagine Silver had told Flint, there would have raided the plantation to free Thomas, and there would be a tearful reuion of two lovers. How on earth could Madi possibly see this as a form of betrayal? 

Maybe because Silver, and Madi herself, knew that Thomas being alive would be a game changer for Flint. Looking for Thomas - which is all Silver did in that moment, it’s not as if he’d really been planning to imprison Flint there at that point - can only be considered a form of betrayal if they both knew exactly that Flint was only willing to fight that war because he was so lost to his grief and rage that it drove him to such extremes, if they both knew that Flint was born “out of great tragedy”. But it’s Flint that Madi’s war relies on. Not James McGraw. 

All these things - the treasure, Flint, Long John Silver - they do not belong to Madi. There is a certain irony in the fact that Madi used Silver’s considerable skillset - his cunning, his inventiveness, his power of persuasion, the legend of Long John Silver - to fight her war, but that is is this exact skillset that is then used against her to end it. 

Of course, Madi is free to do as she pleases. If she wants that war so desperately, she can go and try to find some likeminded people who help her fight it. She can find the outsiders, the rebels, the other “scattered objections” and form her own army, wage her own war, if that’s what she thinks is right. Build her own resistance. Do it the hard way. She can send someone to Savannah to find Flint and free him. She can do a lot of things to make that war happen.

But she won’t do that, because she isn’t stupid, and she’s not like Flint, who was so consumed by his war that he simply could not let go of it. Madi has other things to live for, thankfully. For sane people, a war immdiately gets a lot less attractive the moment their chances of winning decline. Madi is a good leader to her people, and she’s a good person. She would not waste lives and resources in a war that no one wants.Silver did betray her, and I’m not saying she has to forgive him. But I think it’s important to acknowledge that Silver’s motives and reasons are no less valid than hers, and that taking out Flint and the cache did not mean denying her agency, because if her agency relied on these two things, then it was never real to begin with.

3. Third, what bothers me is to look at Silver’s betrayal of Flint and make it about Madi when it was never about her in the first place. I know we all look at the show from different pespectives, but I think it’s fair to say that Silver and Flint, their individual arcs and their complex and fraught relationship, are central to Black Sails. In Silver’s story, Flint is the antagonist, and the conflict between Flint and Silver and its resolution has very little to do with Madi - if anything, she’s a catalyst that contributes to brings things to a head. Accordingly, the idea that Madi’s wants and needs should be the determining factor in Silver’s decision-making seems quite absurd. Flint may be Madi’s nuke, but first and foremost, he’s Silver’s … friend, alter ego, antagonist, partner, captain, whatever you want to call it - this overwhelming influence in Silver’s life.

The relationship between Silver and Flint is complex, fraught, full of landmines. There’s a co-depenency that’s not quite healthy, a power imbalance that only changes in Silver’s favor in season four - and there’s a tentative, hard-won friendship between them. And in that situation - with their shared history and everything they’ve been through together - should Madi’s wants and needs really be the deteminigg factor in Silver’s decision-making? Or should it be his own moral compass? 

Of course, the situation in Black Sails is more complex than that, there are other factors to keep in mind - first and foremost, the issue of slavery, which, as I’ve said before, is a killer argument all on its own. How can Silver possibly turn aganst Flint and Silver when they fight for a better world without slavery, for a revolution? If he doesn’t want to fight, he can just walk away, can he not? 

But the thing is, people who tend to say that rarely look at the whole thing from Silver’s point of view. There is a distinct lack of willingness to put themselves in his shoes. 

Silver is in a position of an individual having to make a choice. Jack has arrived with a clear agenda, one that gives Nassau a chance at peace. From Silver’s point of view, Flint is entirely driven by rage, the intent “to see the world burn” - as someone who is decidedly not an idealist, Silver simply cannot focus on these far-away visions of a better future the same way. And in that situation, confined by his own experiences and worldview, Silver is left with two options: side with Jack, secure the peace and the freedom of Madi’s people, stop Flint, and keep Madi safe. Or turn against Jack, enable the war and let Flint set the New World on fire, then lose both him and Madi either trough a violent death or by leaving them behind. War or peace? The decision, in this moment, is not an easy one, but I think it displays a lack of understanding to suggest that with Silver’s and Flint’s relationship right at the core of it, with everything that stands between them - the things Silver has seen Flint do, the murder and the insanity and the gambling with lives, and the things Silver himself has done on behalf of the war - that Silver acting according to his personal beliefs makes him a villain, or that it is his moral duty to support his girfriend’s ambitions - the very girlfriend who, at this point, is only still alive because he’s already “betrayed” her once by prioritizing her life over the cause.

So, after all of that, we are still left with a couple of things that cannot be denied.

1. Silver acted behind Madi’s back, and he betrayed both her and Flint on a personal level. They had no reason to suscpect he would turn against them (though I would argue that there were signs, they just didn’t pick up on them), which further contributes to the sense of betrayal.  

2. Silver put a stop to a war that was meant to abolish slavery. We cannot conclusively say that it was the right choice (but neither can we say it wasn’t, as we have no means to determine what the outcome would have been).

It’s of course perfectly okay to have personal opinions about all of these things, or to think that Madi should not forgive Silver. But I can’t help but think that a lot of the criticism levelled at Silver is a consequence of a very limited viewpoint that is rooted in activism, not in empathy - to an extent where the entire thing becomes a black and white thing, where Madi gets awarded all the oppression points that forever put her on a pedestal of moral high ground, because SLAVERY! 

Perdonally, I don’t think that this viewpoint acknowledges the complexity of the issue at hand, something that the show itself is actually very good at. 

—————————————-

* The original phrasing, of course, is “Sometime they’ll give a war and no one will come.”  The variant used here is a re-translation of the German version, “Stell dir vor, es ist Krieg, und keiner geht hin.”

[frazzledsoul]

A few thoughts on fandoms, series finales, BIG ASS VOLCANO EXPLOSIONS, and expecting too much of showrunners

(Disclaimer: yes, there is some Gilmore Girls/shipper talk at the end. If you don’t care about genre shows or want to look at all of these gorgeous faces, please proceed past the hot Iraqi guy reminding you of your imminent demise. Thank you).

Recently the Lost showrunners revealed the series finale was supposed to feature a colossal, epic volcano explosion instead of a sweet, let’s-die-happily-ever-after-and-party-in-purgatory denouement.

My thoughts on this run somewhere between HELL TO THE YEAH!!!!!! and “what would have happened to Sawyer’s pretty, pretty face? Or Jack’s pretty, pretty face? Or Desmond’s . . .”

You get the idea. Never before or since have so many gorgeous men been packed into one television show.

Okay, the women weren’t too bad, either.

The thing is that Lost is one of the few TV fandoms where it became obvious very early on where the fan reaction quickly eclipsed the intent of the showrunners. I knew as early as the second season that this show was never, ever going to be able to answer most of the questions they posed in their own mythology, never mind the insane theories the fandom quickly jumped on. It’s my opinion that in other recent cases where a sci-fi/fantasy show collects a massive, unwieldly following that most of the blame gets shifted to the interpretation of the source material. However, in this case there was no one else to blame or to deify and it quickly became its own monster.

Lost was a mess much of the time. It had grand, majestic, awe-inducing moments and characters that made you want to weep because you loved them so much. It had a tendency to get bogged down in sci-fi mumbo jumbo and to kill off characters long before they got anything close to what they earned or deserved. It had episodes like “Walkabout” and “The Constant” that nothing on TV will ever get close to matching. It was a high-concept show that got drowned in its ambitions over and over again, that bitterly disappointed its fans and yet climbed out of the much to make us scream in glee over and over again.

It was a gleefully upsetting and awe-inducing experiment and I miss it very much.

The thing is that knowing it was going to disappoint so many people ahead of time made me enjoy it more in its last moments. The “sideways” world was a way to redeem the show for the awful fates to which it subjected so many of its characters. For me, it worked, and perhaps it’s a reflection of absorbing the ethos of the Bible Belt for so many years, but I felt that the show was redeemed by this. They were never going to answer any of those questions, but I feel they did make me feel that in the end all of it had been worth it. The key was not expecting more of the show’s creators than they had to give.

(One small caveat: Sun should have sacrificed herself and sent Jin home to take care of their child. It would be an exact reflection of the sacrifices he had made for them both earlier, and it would make their tragic end a tinier less tragic. Other than that, I am zen with how it went down).

With that in mind, I’m reminded of the two current genre obsessions currently ongoing: The Walking Dead and Game Of Thrones. 

Whenever either show runs into problems (and The Waking Dead runs into problems a lot), the blame is directed at the creators for not being slavish enough to the source material. The Walking Dead uses its source material as more of a guide than anything else (and I’m grateful for that, because if they didn’t, there would be no Richonne or Daryl and we’d still be stuck with Andrea) but its problems are its own. It’s an enormously crowd-pleasing show when it’s on top, but it will never be a great one, and I’m okay with that. I know not to expect more of its creators than they can give.

With Game Of Thrones, it’s a little different. The book purists make the Lost acolytes from a decade ago seem like amateurs, and most of them are still stubbornly naive about George R.R. Martin delivering their “real” ending. (I seriously doubt he is ever going to publish another book in the series, much less finish it). I think the difference between the two shows is that we don’t know what kind of show Game Of Thrones will end up being, and we only have a little bit of time left to find out. I find I love almost everyone in Game Of Thrones almost as much as I loved almost everyone in Lost, and the ensuing slaughter in the next batch of episodes is probably going to hurt just as much.

And this all brings me back to where I learned to be zen about showrunners: the excruciating, otherwordly experience otherwise known as dealing with Amy Sherman Palladino through Gilmore Girls.

I stopped watching OG Gilmore Girls when the rumors about April came out early in season 6. I knew it wasn’t going to end well, and if you kept up with the press from the showrunners around that time, it became obvious that ASP was dying to do #TeamChristopher. I knew this would end badly.

Man, did it ever end badly. I watched the second half of the season six finale and resolved never to touch the show again. It wasn’t until I forced myself to watch season 6 recently that I realized just how terrible it got. I think it’s because of that experience that I got hooked on genre shows. Yes, I remain fond of characters in my shows, and love them intensely, but there’s a certain amount of distance to be had when you know they can die at any time.

I won’t ever get emotionally attached to anything the Palladinos do again. They’re unstable, irrational, and bitterly cling to their own ideas in the midst of all sanity and rationality. I think Shonda Rhimes is like this, too, but at least she makes the trains run on time. I full expect meltdowns from all corners by the time the Palladinos finish up their Amazon show, if they don’t get displaced before then.

Despite all this, I think my latent cynicism towards these showrunners made me be at peace at the way in which they righted my ship. I think a lot of shippers built up this alternate world where Luke and Lorelai quickly got their crap together, married, and had kids right away, and never faced any significant obstacles ever again. I was one of them, and that’s part of why I never wanted this show to come back. I don’t think it was ever plausible to expect that from these showrunners.

It could have worked out that way. Or they both could have figured out that they had atrocious track records and decided to find a life that was right for them. The Lorelai that was so singularly marriage-focused during season 6 was almost as much of an out-of-character creation as was the Luke who becomes so focused on his new fatherhood that he stops listening to her. It is entirely plausible that after a failed engagement and a failed marriage in eight months (to two different men) that she might want to slow down and reevaluate what she wanted. 

It doesn’t mean that she didn’t get her “middle”, because she did. She chose a life, and was fairly happy with that life until she decided she did want something more traditional. It doesn’t mean that the years before didn’t count or that it wasn’t a real life until she got married. I know it’s not what a lot of fans envisioned or wanted, but I don’t think it was a false or unhappy existence, either. I think it’s much more true of the title character than the Lorelai Gilmore who is so obsessed with getting married that she will literally take anyone who asks.

Maybe I’m too easy on ASP in this respect, but I don’t think so. But you have to take what you can from your showrunners and not expect more of them than what’s possible.

All I ask for is a happy ending for the last ship I really cared about and for Daryl Dixon and Jon Snow to remain alive. May the TV gods smile on me on the last two.

[anthonybialy]

He Flights

t's easy to know what's coming when a brain's preprogrammed. People aren't nearly as random as free will would lead us to believe. Take predictable television barker and one-time president Donald Trump, who's a wild man along the lines of squirrels on the zoo grounds. The alleged joker plays the rules card every time.

A cop-killing riot in one of the headquarters of one of the other federal branches inspired by pouting over losing is shocking on its own and entirely foreseeable based on a lifetime of appalling bitching. Those who've unfortunately spent a couple decades being exposed to a spectacularly weak oaf's behavior shouldn't be any more shocked by the black glass aficionado creating a black hole of misery than they should by how he never signed full Obamacare repeal. But the wall's probably done.

I'm sure it's fake news that Trump's trifling accomplishments will be banished to the bottom of the Wikipedia page. People don't think of landing on the Moon as the first of Richard Nixon's accomplishments. President Dick also had the decency to resign, which is just another way another president was better. Nobody will ever see Trump as a tragic figure even if he inflicted plenty of it.

Call others RINOs to distract from a liberal record. Business lessons apply everywhere. Daft trade wars accompanied a very brave refusal to cut spending. And Trump feared entitlements like they're alimony. Elect a president who understands what a trade war is.

Trump is the biggest politician there is. He spewed precisely what he thinks whoever's listening wants to hear. Lying artlessly makes him an outsider, according to Judge Jeanine. Railing against the system while trying to be accepted as a member is just how to bring them down from the inside. There's still time.

The fraud epitomizer says what he doesn't mean. The followup is the tricky bit, which shouldn't be a revelation to humans. But don't let him doing the precise opposite keep anyone from following the smallest person through his retirement. A loss to Joe freaking Biden won't deter the MAGA zombie horde from still presuming his mouthiness means toughness.  Worshiping an empty bully surely demonstrates one's alpha status.

The temp president can return to business career of announcing he's successful, which you may notice does not actually involve doing successful things. Each moment to the end of of his maddening presidency shows how he's obsessed with what he thinks you think embodies triumph, which explains everything from the tacky gold used to display his tackier name to his penchant for women with plastic chassis to whom he's not married to claims of being the best at all activities. Why do it when you can say it?

Noticing tendencies is for low-energy losers. Establishment insider globalists who check results noticed many of his amazing business ventures disappeared like his chance at staying president, which seems like failure. Claiming he won hasn't worked over a lame career culminating in the announcement that a loss was fixed.

Trump's entire genius business plan has consisted of slapping his name on shoddy products, which is perfectly appropriate. The cunning strategy applies to his presidency. His regrettable habit of he's amazing because he's amazing was clear in mid-'80s if anyone wanted to check if a person was a worthwhile presidential contender. I'll never forgive Fred Trump for such a poor hire.

Railing about lunatic conspiracies until the very end is only natural. It's entirely boring hearing about an election that wasn't fixed as it is knowing an exhausting goon was going to bitch precisely like this if he lost.

Can you blame the victim's hurt feelings? He has the whole world against him, except for how same world provided someone as singularly loathsome with every unearned chance. Trump is right about everything being unfair in a way he'll never grasp.

The inside outsider's political claims unsurprisingly ended up as empty as about his entire career, so here's to consistency. Thankfully, it's no longer trendy to think how paltry his success rate embodies vigorous manliness. Trump products only being available on eBay as gag gifts makes bluffing his way to the head of state even more mortifying.

A term that was shameful before it began says more about those who made it happen than it does the pompous clod who was the term's sole beneficiary. Finding a Trump fan will be like admitting to owning a Milli Vanilli cassingle. Ha ha, you fell for it?

There's nothing behind the image, which apparently wasn't obvious to more trusting fellow consumers. Some 1990s nostalgia isn't charming. Not thinking of consequences from today's lurching has defined the bad president, worse businessman, and worst person.

Get back here and be lectured. The presidential outcast's dwindling supporters making threats about how they'll be a political force are laughable in a way his nicknames never were. Dismiss the impact like Lyndon LaRouche supporters handing out the equivalent of poorly-photocopied pamphlets.

Thinking their mortifying support of a thorough fraud will remain a political force is like planning a vacation at Trump Taj Mahal. Aspiring inept mobsters act like they've got a sensitive body part of yours in a vice grip when they've pinched their own extremities.

Depression is another term for awareness. Anyone with the slightest ability to read the news or note personalities knew exactly how this unfortunate would turn out, which is not much comfort after enduring it. Listen to those who noticed a disgraced braggart's disgusting tendencies in 2015 to avoid this all. The worst thing about Trump was making it so liberals had a point.

The only legacy possibility left for an improbable president who definitely came up short involves deciding which unfortunate city will host an impossibly garish building that'll be vacant after his presidential library goes bankrupt. There will be plenty of space even when it's open. Tired curators can only stock shelves with so many copies of Think Big and Kick Ass. Expect the classy palace to be stocked with about 50 copies of the rather unsexy Playboy with him on the cover preserved for posterity.

Where should we stick this tribute to the classiest of presidents? There's plenty of space in Atlantic City for some reason. I can't believe a person who guaranteed so much failed to keep his word. It might be good to learn by his last day.

[anthonybialy]

Torn Apart and Down

Align with the proper warlord to assure a loot cut instead of flogging. Roving bands of gangs menacing cities are not too different from contemporary politics. You don't even have to wear a mask to your polling place. Participants should still do so to conceal identities in case cops pretend to crack down.

Sliding back is preferred by those who appreciate the comfort provided during dark ages ranging from cave-dwelling times to the 1970s. Those particularly appalling periods of our largely dreadful history featured hideous fashions, and not just the threads whether they be pelts or polyester. A sense lawlessness is in charge has defined much of the past. Now is different because we can check Twitter.

Finding a way to dispose of everything that makes life somewhat bearable will make us appreciate the bulwarks. Walls against barbarians seem useless until they're gone along with our crops and wives. Things are working so well that they need to be taken as a reminder. Thank everyone who can't be bothered to be thankful for prevented horrors.

Figurative dismantling to accompany it happening literally is especially popular amongst those who don't realize just how good things are. Refusing to enforce laws for compassion will create way more injustices. Cruel irony is good for the perpetually indignant: they can rail against more people being harmed, which gives them purpose.

Those tearing down more than statues are determined to create utopia on their way to earthly Hades. Dismantling the very aspects that prevent rampaging is one way to express gratitude to those who foresaw peril.

Everyone who knows better sure will be surprised when roving marauders not only demand plunder but expect it from collaborators, all after they were so cool. Blame systematic oppression when their grandiose schemes create tremendous suffering. They're right, in their way.

Stop rounding up everyone darker than Pat Boone for prejudicial imprisonment. America should have some sort of judicial system where those faced with lockup were allowed to present a defense. Mass incarceration is presented as the contemporary equivalent of slavery by those who don't inquire how the individuals ended up in cells.

The yard might be full because those locked up did bad things for which they were tried and convicted. Sure, violent criminals just happened to be locked up as violent crime plummeted. But astounding coincidences are disregarded by very sensible reformers trying to convince others penitentiaries are full of oppressed men sent away for decades because they were caught with a cannabis gummy.

The steadfastly unappreciative benefit from what those they loathe created. Reversing gains will show those old-timey planners. The broken windows theory of making cities safer is condemned by those accustomed to looking through whole panes.

Claiming that preventing quality of life crimes was just a way to legalize harassment sure is convenient to those who aren't being tormented by aggressive panhandlers. I'd wager any funds gathered won't be spent on fares. Sometimes, correlation is causation.

We're seeing who wasn't just against rotten cops all along. Police might exist for more than murdering black men. Arresting a sadistic killer cop after universal condemnation was apparently insufficient. The one thing worse is watching them retreat. Presuming those targeting the wicked are only into harassing the virtuous will surely stop abuse.

America is never good enough, according to those who it must be a joy to date. Striving for improvement does not take the form of trying to tweak what's working: professional destroyers are sympathetic to looters because they attempt the same with a government dedicated to natural rights.

Ripping down invisible structures that preserve civilization is the most unappreciative way to spread havoc. Watch how much poverty arrives after torching allegedly cruel free markets.

The biggest experiment shows ominous results for everywhere else. The Warriors gets rebooted as they must once again race through New York City in order to be safe.  There will be no apologies to anyone who preferred enjoying safe urban life.

It wasn't that long ago late-night television hosts made their livings noting crime was Gotham's primary industry. Rudy Giuliani doing Spider-Man's job put joke writers out of business along with muggers. Those railing against the very measures that finally made a teeming hellhole livable flaunt short memories that lead to a lack of appreciation.

Character has been fleeing long before residents did en masse. We're not even going to get punk out of the new New York wholesale abandonment. Forget lofts becoming hives of creativity for artistic colonialists: rents somehow skyrocket as terrified exhausted people fed up with being Knickerbockers flee. Experts didn't think it was economically possible. But Bill de Blasio's specialty is defying basic rules. The singularly unpleasant buffoon is putting pinko theory into practice in a way he never imagined, which makes it like all the other pernicious humanity-punching claptrap Earth's worst mayor embraces.

It's not like you need a particular office space. Worldwide disease showed people can do the same work from a room anywhere around the planet and maybe on different ones. A virus created the atmosphere while the decision to withdraw police confirmed. Let's stop enduring horrors from which to learn.

Government hassles the law-abiding while allowing plunderers to carry their goods unencumbered. I'd show you the bill of sale, but I don't want to set down either television on the filthy sidewalk. Everyone better join a gang for protection. We could preserve society, but the rule of law is so racist.