#and I was like ???? im still on ur portal we're chatting rn like what do you mean | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachznscream · 4 days ago

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genunely sometimes do not know how to cope with the world being so cold and bureacratic and people who withold care and essential rights to people over arbitrary rules and money and

#i was a psych appointment the other day on telehealth #and my phone is old so it couldnt do the video call on there #and for some reason my laptop camera wasnt working #and the psychiatrist was like mmm yeah :/ ur cam's off so I cant do this appointment #and I was like ?? hm?#and she was like :/ yeah no this is a phone call not a video chat #and I was like ???? im still on ur portal we're chatting rn like what do you mean #and she was like ! sorry it's the insurance who insists on it #and i was like ?? how would the insurance know whether I was cams on or not #and shes like :/// yeah no cant lie to the insurance people sorry #like I've explained to you my technological limitations are very much tied to financial limitations #and you'd rather abide by made up insurance rules than talk to someone and provide them care they need #how am I not supposed to go feral #I can't go in public without someone getting crazy mad while driving or harassing me for being trans #like really and truly how am I supposed to navigate this world without losing my shit #and it's such a weird binary too of having many lovely people in my life and having community and people who love me and will help me #and like how can humans be so wonderful and kind and soft but also so cold and distant and unflinching #how do i recon with it all!!!!#and so so much frustration in my life just comes to problems that could easily be solved with money #like my dog keeps ripping up my trash bags and making messes every day for me to come home to #and if I had $50 for a locking trash can or like money to get her care while I was gone then this wouldnt happen #but I literally pay all my bills and have like $20 left over every pay cycle if im lucky #and I totally recognize like even this is heads and shoulders above what some people have and I am so grateful to have a car and an apartme #t #and to be able to properly care for my pets but like god damn #why am I spending all my waking hours and energy at a job when I don't even have any god damn money or financial security at the end of the #day #stupid academic voice and I have two masters #anyways #personal

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