#and I wanted to know if he is proud of him yknow? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

em1i2a3 · 20 days ago

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Girls Like You (Continuation of My Desire)

Pairing: Beefy!Bucky Barnes x Avengers!Fem!Reader (Ex-HYDRA)

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI! Violence, Blood, Gore, PTSD, Swearing, Description of Injuries and Harm to Characters, There is a self inflicted injury (by accident), Bucky goes through it again and it is quite a rough one for our dude, Angst, yknow what? The characters are kinda having a bad time for a great portion of this but we got a happy ending? That’s good. WS!Bucky makes an appearance.

Smut Warnings: Some good old fashioned lovemaking, Unprotected P in V Sex (wrap it up y’alllllll), Oral Sex (f! Receiving), Praise Kink, Biting, Marking, Choking (if you squint), Restraining (if you squint), Nipple Play, Fingering, Scratching (with intent to mark), Grinding, a little bit of a cum kink? Kind of?

Author’s Note: All I want to say is…Holy Crap. Thank you for the overwhelming response to ‘My Desire’! I wanted to give y’all what you guys were requesting, and I have decided to add a second part to this story! It took a hot minute and I apologize for that (I had a lot of ideas for this and needed to settle on something, and on top of that I wanted to try and do the story some justice), I also took a few liberties here for the story, nothing too major but I am hoping it is okay :) I hope everyone enjoys it, and thank you again <3 :)

Word Count: 24,961 (CERTIFIED YAPPER RIGHT HERE LOL)

PART ONE IS HERE: My Desire

After the third round, your body had given you no choice but to surrender, every muscle ached with the sweet burn of overuse, every nerve ending tingled like it hadn’t gotten the memo that it was time to come down. Somehow, though, you’d summoned the strength to peel yourself from the warmth of the bed to tug on a pair of underwear, followed by one of Bucky’s shirts, it was soft, oversized, and infused with his sweet scent; pine, sage, and lavender, the perfect mixture that almost brought you to intoxication. It was an attempt, however feeble, to reclaim a bit of control over the morning. To ground yourself again after hours spent unraveling at his hands.

The light creeping through the curtains was dim and gold, casting long shadows across the tangled sheets and the bruises that were peppered across your skin, marks from where his mouth had been, where his fingers had gripped, where you’d lost yourselves in each other again and again. You pushed your disheveled hair out of your face, the movement revealing a dark bite mark just below your ear.

Bucky’s eyes tracked the shift in the fabric of your shirt like a predator drawn to the scent of something familiar. He was lying back against the headboard, his hair a tangled mess, his chest flushed and still rising with the aftermath of exertion. His sweatpants hung low on his hips, and his gaze held the kind of smug amusement that made you want to either roll your eyes or kiss him breathless. Maybe both.

“You’re looking a little too proud of yourself over there” You murmured, climbing onto the bed, your voice lacking the typical bite it usually had, crawling on your hands and knees towards the pillow beside him. You collapsed onto your side, your gaze looking out the window, needing a second to just breathe. The cool air of the room kissed your heated skin, even though the sheets were still warm from where his body had been just moments ago, writhing beneath you.

A soft chuckle vibrated through the mattress, low and intimate.

You didn’t have to look to know he was moving. You felt the bed dip, his weight shifting closer. Then, his vibranium arm, cool and smooth, slipped beneath the hem of your borrowed shirt. His fingers found your hip first, brushing gently over the tender, bruised skin there. Then he slid further, wrapping his arm all the way around you, pulling you against his chest like you belonged there. Which, at this point, he had staked his claim enough that you were practically branded.

A quiet huff escaped you, more amused than annoyed. His vibranium hand fanned out across your stomach, the coolness of it displaying a startling contrast to the fire he’d left in his wake. His fingers traced slow, lazy patterns along your skin; squares, triangles, swirls, anything his mind could think of before circling your navel like he wasn’t aware of what it was doing to you.

But of course he was. It was obvious.

“Bucky…If you keep touching me like that I’m going to break your fingers.” You warned against the pillow, the butterflies in your stomach twisting, already responding to his touch, just like it had the past three rounds. His nose brushed against your neck, his warm breath sticking to your skin, bringing goosebumps to the surface of your flesh.

”I think we both know you like my fingers far too much for you to actually break ‘em huh?” He responded, punctuating the statement by placing a gentle, open mouthed kiss to your bruised neck, a smile draped on his lips, your jaw tightening at the wetness he left with his tongue.

“Wasn’t three rounds enough?” You asked, now turning onto your back so you could look at him. He shook his head.

”I did tell you in the shower that I would want you like this every day didn’t I?” You let out a small laugh, your eyes scanning over the damage you had done to him last night, how the bite marks and bruises were already fading away, slowly but surely, disappointed that his work would be on you for longer, knowing it took you just a little longer to heal.

”Bucky…We’ve been having sex for hours at this point, I’m pretty sure you’ve thrown me into enough positions that the Kama Sutra would be embarrassed…You’re just overindulging now.” He grinned at your comment, his cheeks heating up thinking about what had transpired during the night, his fingers trailing over the waistband of your underwear.

”If that’s overindulgence I will proudly continue to partake.” He responded. You opened your mouth to protest, but he was already leaning down, catching your lips in a kiss that was a complete departure from the hunger of the hours before. This one was slow. Reverent. The kind of kiss that made your chest ache and your heart thrum painfully in your ribs. You whimpered softly into his mouth, your hands instinctively threading through the thick mess of his hair as you kissed him back, already melting into the weight of him pressing down on you. Bucky shifted slowly, the mattress dipping with his movement, slotting himself between your thighs like he belonged there. Your legs parted easily to accommodate him, the soreness barely a blip beneath the heat curling up in your belly all over again. He cushioned his hips against yours, his body settling over you like a heavy, protective blanket, in an attempt to mold himself to the shape of you.

When he pulled back from the kiss, his lips hovered a breath from yours, the heated air from him filling your lungs.

”Can I take this as a sign we can go for round four?” You let out a small laugh of disbelief, tilting your head back against the pillows to get a better look at him. You could see the way his cheeks were flushed, lips swollen, pupils blown wide with the hunger you had seen the entire night.

”Do you have an unlimited stamina cheat code from the serum or something? How are you not the least bit exhausted?” Bucky shrugged, a toothy smile coming up on his mouth.

”Sweetheart…I don’t need a cheat code, I could do this forever.” He whispered, his lips skimming your jaw, lingering for a few seconds, then traveling downward, pausing just above the scattered constellation of purple and red marks he’d left on your neck. His mouth ghosted over them with a feather-light touch, kissing the aftermath of his work, admiring the wreckage he’d caused. You sighed, the sound slipping involuntarily from your lips as his hand slid to your hip, anchoring you beneath him like he couldn’t bear the thought of you slipping away.

”Of course you could.” You murmured under your breath, feeling him gently tug at the collar of your shirt, the fabric shifting to expose more surface area to him. His mouth latched onto the skin, grazing it with his teeth, your fingers curling into his messy, tangled strands of hair that were still damp at the ends from the shower you shared, and possibly from him sweating.

”You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He teased, his words warm against your skin. You shuddered at the way his breath tickled across your sensitive flesh, his tongue poking out to trace over the bruises he had left hours ago.

“I’m…I’m just saying,” You stuttered, feeling his weight press into you as he adjusted himself, “If you weren’t a super soldier I’d be worried for your heart.” His laugh vibrated through you, continuing to trail down your body, keeping eye contact, reading every expression that came up on your face.

”That’s cute you care about me possibly having a heart attack on top of you.” He joked, reaching for the hem of your shirt, pushing it up to expose your stomach to him, as he peppered kisses along the soft flesh. “While I may be old in theory, my body is still young and it’s always ready to please.” He continued, his eyes watching you closely, seeing your lashes flutter at the sensation of his lips touching your skin, your body arching slightly to chase his movements.

“Always ready to please, huh?” You joked, scratching at his scalp with your nails, his eyes closing at the chill that raced up his spine.

“Mhm.” He responded, his lips moving towards your hip bone, his teeth gently nipping at the muscle, “I take my work very seriously.” You bit your lip, feeling him tug at your waistband to expose more skin to him, a soft moan escaping you, feeling him suck on the little fingerprint marks he had left while you were on top of him just half an hour ago.

”I’ve noticed.” You commented breathlessly. Bucky smirked against your skin, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your underwear, pulling ever so slowly, teasing, testing-

RING RING RING.

You both froze in place, the intimacy in the air immediately being sucked out of the room, even though you were still burning from the inside out, longing for him to continue. Bucky let out a frustrated groan, dropping his forehead against your stomach, the reality suddenly setting in for the both of you.

”Nooooo.” Was all he could muster to say, as you reached blindly for the phone with your free hand, hoping it was going to be a quick conversation. You didn’t even look at the caller ID when you answered.

“Yea, hello?” You greeted, sitting up slightly.

”Wow, don’t you sound chipper this morning.” Natasha’s voice echoed over the other end of the line. You closed your eyes, feeling Bucky's hot breath still hitting your stomach, his vibranium hand remaining on your outer thigh, tracing over the three scars that marked your skin, like he was waiting for the conversation to be done so the both of you could get back to what you were doing.

”Nat? What are you doing calling at this time?” You asked, looking down at Bucky, who’s eyebrows raised slightly at the question.

”Well, Maria called me yesterday and asked if I would be willing to fly over there to extract the both of you, she said the sooner the better, so Steve and I decided to come down to get you guys. We just arrived in Vienna.” You felt your stomach plummet to the floor, seeing Bucky’s head shoot up from where he was, his eyes wide with horror, your hand unraveling from his hair.

“They’re here?” He mouthed, watching you nod slowly.

“Oh that’s great…Just landed right?” You asked, your voice rising in pitch slightly.

“Yeah, we are about twenty minutes away from the hotel, depending on how fast Steve drives of course.” You forced a laugh at her comment, trying to sound as natural as possible.

“Oh great, well hopefully Steve’s driving doesn’t get you too angry and he gets you guys here in twenty minutes.” You shot a look at Bucky who was staring at you like you had personally ruined his life.

”Twenty minutes?” He mouthed dramatically again, you nodded, now putting your hand over his lips so you weren’t distracted by him. Bucky said something which muffledb something against your hand, causing you to press your palm against his mouth just a little harder.

“Well, we’ll see you soon then!” You added, trying to cut the call as soon as possible so the both of you could scramble to get ready.

“…Are you alright? You sound a bit odd. You didn’t kill Bucky did you?” She asked, trying to make a joke even though she still sounded suspicious. Bucky bit down on the inside of your palm, just enough to make you flinch, smacking him on the arm, seeing a dumb smirk drawn up on his lips.

”Yeah, I’m alright. No, I didn't kill Bucky. It was a long night, so I’m just exhausted that’s all. Can’t wait to see the both of you though. I’m gonna start getting ready.” You announced, looking at your hand, seeing the little teeth marks in your skin, shooting Bucky a death stare.

”Alright. See you soon.” Natasha said, the suspicion still lacing her voice, reluctantly taking your answers at face-value, as you hung up, throwing the phone onto the entanglement of sheets at the foot of the bed.

“We are fucked.” Bucky announced, flopping onto his back, like a man accepting his fate.

“No Bucky, we are not just fucked…We are going to be crucified for the rest of our lives, we will never live this down.” You explained, rubbing your head as you got up off the bed, fixing your underwear and shirt quickly.

”Crucified is a bit dramatic I think.” Bucky responded, “Also, I doubt that Nat and Steve will really care about our sexual escapade, but we definitely won’t be able to live it down like you said..” You raised your eyebrows at him, dragging your suitcase towards you, digging around for a change of clothes.

”Bucky…I had a blood thirsty grudge against you no less than 48 hours ago give or take…Natasha is going to have a hard time wrapping her head around the fact that we suddenly had sex in under a day or two of being in each other's presence. She will be concerned about the change.” Bucky shrugged.

”So you have to tell her the truth…That’s all.” You huffed at how he said it so simply, like it was going to be easy. You tossed a pair of jeans onto the bed, before rummaging through the suitcase for a sweater, finding the simple high collar zip-up that was going to be fitting for hiding the marks that enveloped the skin of your neck, throwing it on top of the jeans, before turning your back towards him.

”And what exactly is the truth? That I invited you to shower with me? That I had a lapse of judgement all night?” He sighed, watching you peeling off his shirt. His eyes dropped down immediately to the deep, red scratches that ran down the length of your back, scattered all over the place in frantic patterns. He could feel his breath hitch in his chest as you threw his shirt over to him, snapping him out of the moment. Quickly he slipped the top on over his frame, adjusting it over his chest, taking in the warmth that you had given it before getting off the bed to stretch out his sore limbs.

“Hey, let’s not backtrack here and pretend that was just a lapse of judgement,” He murmured, grabbing your sweater from the bed, stepping towards you slowly, watching you find a pair of socks, “You didn’t look like you were regretting it when you had your nails scraping down my back and you were saying-.” You straightened up and spun on your heels so fast that you nearly knocked into him, placing your hand against his sternum to stop him from getting any closer.

”Don’t finish that sentence please…” You said, your cheeks heating up beneath his mischievous glare, he raised his hands in fake surrender.

”Alright…Alright,” He said, stifling a grin, “I’ll spare your dignity for now…But for the record, I think that moment was the highlight of my night.” He added, unfolding the sweater, “Now…Let me help you get this on.” You raised your eyebrows at him.

”I’m pretty sure I can dress myself.” He shook his head.

”Not right now you can’t, c’mon…Arms up, don’t make me wrestle you.” You rolled your eyes at him, unable to fight off the smirk that was coming up on your lips. You obeyed the request, lifting your arms with a dramatic groan.

”You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Oh absolutely.” He said without missing a beat, slipping the sweater over your head, his knuckles grazing your ribs as he pulled the fabric down slowly, your head popping out from the top of it. With a careful hand he smoothed the material over your body, like he was tucking you in, his eyes not leaving yours.

“Might be my new favourite thing…Dressing you after undressing you…I mean talk about full circle.” He joked, letting his hands linger just a second too long on your waist. You narrowed your eyes at him.

”You’re ridiculous.” You muttered, fighting a grin, watching him reach for the zipper, his gaze lingering on the scar between your chest, the bruises that lingered across it, where he had kissed and sucked with such reverence.

”I might be…” His voice dipping, his eyes raising back to yours, the both of you exchanging heated glances at one another, communicating without words, your eyes softening at the way he looked at you, his hand bringing the cold metal up your chest, the sound of the teeth catching rhythmically in the silence.

“But you’re still letting me help you are you not?” He added, watching the fabric effectively cover all the marks he had made on you. He didn’t step back right away, he stayed in your space, his eyes roaming over yours. His thumb grazed just below your jawline, feeling the warmth radiating from your skin, his gaze dropping briefly to your lips before flicking back up to your eyes. He sighed, like he was giving into all his wants and desires, reaching up with his vibranium hand to cup your cheek, caressing it gently, the coolness providing a relief from the heat that you could barely control at this point. You leaned in, seeing him mirror your actions, taking the opportunity to get the last few touches and kisses in before Steve and Natasha’s arrival.

The kiss was soft, not like the ones from last night which were frantic and breathless. It was slow, intentional, sensual even. You brought your hand up to his wrist, wrapping your fingers around it, to hold him in place. Bucky hummed against your lips, deepening the kiss, tilting his head to fit you better, his nose brushing against yours as he shifted closer.

The intimacy of the moment made you feel dizzy, not because it was heated, but because it was tender, gentle, and all consuming.

When he pulled back, his lips hovered over yours, breathing you in shakily.

”Are you sure we can’t squeeze in another round?” He whispered, his lips brushing against yours, voice low and hopeful like a prayer. You could hear the teasing laced into his words, but the way his thumb traced idle circles along your hip told you he was only half joking.

”You’re unbelievable, you know that?” Bucky pulled back slightly, a pout forming on his lips, acting wounded.

”I’m just saying! We have…” He paused, spinning the both of you around so he could see the alarm clock on the nightstand, “A solid fifteen minutes before Steve and Natasha arrive.” You arched a brow at him, holding onto his shoulders.

”And what do you think you’ll be able to achieve in fifteen minutes, you little sex addict?” Bucky’s smile turned wicked.

“I can think of a lot of things,” He whispered, letting his hands sneak beneath the hem of your sweater, his fingers splaying warmly across your bare skin. His thumbs brushed lazy lines along your waist, and he leaned in to press a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth. “Just let me prove it to you.” He added, his breath hot against your skin. Your cheeks flushed, heat rushing to your cheeks as you looked up at him. His pupils had blown wide again, swallowing up most of the blue in his eyes, and the intensity of it made your stomach twist with butterflies all over again.

”How about you hold yourself together for the day, and we can figure something out for tonight huh?” He raised his eyebrows, tracing his vibranium fingers across your back.

”Are you trying to bargain with a man who’s on the brink of starvation?” You gave him a pointed look, sliding your hands down to rest on his chest, gently giving him a little push to widen the space between the both of you.

“Bucky, it’s been forty five minutes…Maybe an hour since we last had sex…I’m very sure you’re not on the brink of starvation.” He gave you a sheepish smile, as his hands dropped to his sides in exaggerated defeat.

“Fine…At least I tried.” You let out a soft laugh, stepping back to grab your jeans from the bed.

”Yeah. Tried and failed.” You teased, as Bucky’s eyes watched you, scanning the curve of your hips as you stepped into your jeans, tugging them up with a practiced hop and wiggle, buttoning them and zippering the zipper, his bottom lip slipping between his teeth, leaning against the wall behind him. You raised your eyebrows at him.

”You done cataloguing my every move?” Bucky tilted his head, an unapologetic look of admiration glossing over his eyes.

”I was just trying to appreciate the art before the exhibit closes.” Your lips twitched slightly, as you grabbed your socks.

“The exhibit is just taking a brief intermission.” You shot back, taking a seat on the bed.

”Good,” He said, dragging his eyes over you once more, “Because I want a private tour later, full access.” You snorted, pulling on one sock, shaking your head with a smile of disbelief tugging at the corners of your mouth.

”My goodness,” you muttered, glancing over at Bucky, “How the hell are you going to pull off pretending you hate me if you’re all mush right now?” He raised an eyebrow at your question.

”I’ve still got some Winter Soldier kicking around in me, and I’ve also got a good poker face…I think I’ll be able to slip into the role very easily.” You let out a small laugh, tugging your second sock on.

”Not when you’re undressing me with your eyes Bucky.” He gave a shrug.

”It’s called multitasking. One of my many talents, right up there with marksmanship, espionage, and making you moan my name.” You grabbed a pillow and lobbed it at him, seeing him catch it without even trying, a small laugh escaping his throat, tossing it to the floor. You could feel the heat inch up your neck, encompassing the skin on your cheeks, burning from his little quips.

“Go open the window over there, we need to air out the room.” You muttered using the heady scent of the room as an excuse to cool yourself down while you reached to grab your black combat boots.

”Yes ma’am,” He smirked, padding over to the window, tugging the sheer curtains aside, unlatching the glass before pushing it open. A cool breeze swept into the room instantly, chasing away the thick scent of sweat and sex that clung to the sheets, blowing his hair back.

“Hopefully that will get rid of the Eau de Bucky.” You teased, pulling on your boots, tying them tight in double knots before standing to your feet and brushing the invisible dust off your jeans. Bucky glanced over his shoulder, one brow raised, his eyes shining with amusement.

”Eau de Bucky…Is an extremely limited edition fragrance, and it leaves a lasting impression, or so I’ve seen.” He commented, stepping away from the window, tousling his hair in an attempt to straighten it out and make it look less messy. You reached into your bag and retrieved your comb, tossing it to him in silence before turning your attention to the bed. In no orderly fashion you fixed the sheets and the duvet, trying to smooth everything down as much as possible to hide the evidence of what the night had brought to the both of you, there was a slim chance that Natasha would be roaming around the room but you thought you’d take all precautions just to be safe. You took one step back, surveying the room like it was a crime scene that you were trying to clean up in a hurry.

”Not too bad.” Bucky murmured behind you, catching your eyes in the reflection of the mirror, his hair now back to semi-normal, framing his face. He moved towards you, approaching slowly and gracefully like he was being pulled into your orbit. A small smile drew up onto his lips when his chest met yours, his arms immediately draping around your waist, his hands finding their place on your hips. He didn’t squeeze the sensitive flesh, he just held, his fingers twitching against you. You closed your eyes for a beat, exhaling slowly, trying to keep yourself composed.

”We really can’t be doing this right now…” You whispered, your voice sounding far less convincing than it was meant to be. When you opened your eyes he was already looking down at you, pupils blown wide, the thin blue ring around it shimmering, his eyes scanning over every detail of your face.

“I know…Just give me a minute okay?” You opened your mouth to say something, but couldn’t find a reason to protest, so you gave in, bringing your hands to rest against his chest, your fingers fanning over the smooth cotton of his shirt, his expression softening.

Then, with no rush at all, he bent his head and kissed you.

It was soft and slow, a gentle meeting of mouths that made your knees threaten to buckle all over again. Your hands curled into his shirt, gripping tight, like part of you already missed him even though he hadn’t gone anywhere.

His mouth moved with intention, savoring. One hand slipped up from your hip to cradle the back of your head, holding you steady as he pulled back to tilt his head, kissing you again, this time allowing it to deepen and last just little longer so that the both of you were desperate for one another. He was on a mission to remember exactly what you tasted like before everything between you had to be hidden behind sharpened words and narrowed eyes again, and he was exceeding his goals tenfold. Your hands slid up his shirt, arms curling around his neck to bring him closer, a gentle moan escaping his throat as his fingers tightened at your waist.

Then a soft knock at the front door tore the moment apart. You froze against him, pulling away, lips still parted and swollen, your heart slamming into your ribs like it was trying to escape. He gulped, pressing his forehead to yours, exhaling a curse under his breath.

“Perfect timing, as always.” He whispered, you narrowed your eyes at him, reluctantly pushing at his chest.

”Get your game face on, Barnes.” He stepped back, the warmth of his hands leaving you. You watched him closely, as he wiped his bottom lip off with his thumb before dragging his palm down his face, like he was scrubbing the softness off him, following behind you while you made your way towards the door.

Another knock echoed through the room, this one a little more firmer than the last.

”Alright, alright,” You muttered, glancing over your shoulder, seeing that Bucky was over by the kitchenette, leaning against the counter, his jaw set, eyes ice cold, back in character. You took a deep breath, unlocking the door and swinging it open.

”Hey,” You greeted, being met by Steve and Natasha at the door, the both of them looking content but slightly impatient. They looked like they had a night, and the lack of sleep was apparent in their eyes. You stepped aside, letting them into the suite with a polite smile.

”Took you guys long enough,” Bucky commented, his tone dry and mocking, as he opened up the mini fridge, searching for something, like he was trying to distract himself from looking over at you.

”Blame Steve, he’s the one that still doesn’t know how to drive properly.” Natasha shot back.

”I was going the speed limit…” Steve corrected, his soft blue eyes scanning the room in bewilderment, surprised at how large and fancy the entire place really was.

”That’s the problem,” Natasha commented, also admiring the scale of the room and it’s setup, “If we were any slower, we’d have to fucking crawl Rogers.” Steve sighed, rubbing at the back of his neck, as Natasha strolled further into the suite, her eyes scanning every inch of the space like she was a detective, which in some ways she was.

“You guys really lucked out on the accommodations,” Steve commented, peeking into the bedroom, your spine immediately tensing, you were praying that he didn’t see anything odd, or any proof that you shared a bed. You wrung your hands together, drawing your attention back to Natasha, seeing her eyes land on the finished champagne and whiskey bottles, the empty glasses, and the array of minis that had been drained.

“Did you guys decide to go on a bender or something? What’s with all the alcohol?” She questioned, her eyes shooting between both you and Bucky, watching him pull a bottle of water from the fridge, cracking the cap in one go.

“How else did you think we refrained from killing each other?” Bucky replied quietly, taking a sip from the bottle. Natasha crossed her arms over her chest.

”So you want us to believe that the two of you were just civil the entire time you were here and didn’t have a total scrap?” She asked, as Steve brought your duffel bag out of the bedroom, dropping it to the ground with a thud.

“I’m pretty sure one of us would be dead if there was a scrap…And it certainly wouldn’t have been me.” You commented, shooting a pointed glance in Bucky’s direction, trying to ignore his lips turning up behind the rim of his water bottle.

”Not with that shaky left hook of yours,” Bucky muttered, twisting the cap back on, his eyes going over to Natasha, “I had plenty of opportunities to take her down, I thought I was being nice by not doing so…Guess I should’ve taken my chances huh?” He asked, almost as if to mock her.

”You’d be face down on the carpet crying for Steve if you tried to lay a finger on me, so you should be grateful you didn’t press your luck, old man.” Bucky let out a soft laugh, and just as he was about to rebuttal, Steve interrupted.

”How are the both of you still on the hate train? You would think you would’ve gotten it all out of your systems by this point.” He said, exhausted, picking up your bag from the floor, “You guys better not be like this on the jet ride home, or else I’m going to rip my hair out.”

”No promises,” You and Bucky said in near unison, eyes immediately flicking to each other for a fraction of a second before quickly looking away. Natasha didn’t miss it, of course she didn’t, her lips turning up into a knowing smirk, one that could unearth secrets quicker than any truth serum on the market. She didn’t say anything, but she watched the two of you like she was reading the final chapter of a mystery novel she had solved halfway through. Steve sighed, picking up your duffel bag and slinging it over his shoulder with ease.

”Alright you two, let’s get the hell out of here, the sooner we get in the air, the sooner the both of you can go back to living your separate lives.” Bucky moved quickly, grabbing his own bag from where he had left it near the couch, his fingers flexing slightly around the strap as he adjusted it over his broad shoulder, your bottom lip slipping between your teeth for a split second, a memory of the grasp he had on your hips the night before popping into your head, but you pushed it out quickly, making your way out of the room.

As the hotel door clicked shut behind the four of you, the warm hush of the luxury suite was replaced by the sterile chill of the marble hallway. You adjusted the strap of your bag, catching Bucky’s eye for half a heartbeat as you stepped into the elevator. Neither of you said a word, but the heat from that glance lingered, like a promise. After the flight. After the debrief. You’d see each other again, and be wrapped up in the ultraviolet rays of your lust that burned between the both of you.

The two of you stood behind Steve and Natasha in the elevator, trying to keep some distance between each other, the silence being filled only by the soft hum of the machinery. You could feel the faint warmth radiating from him, as Bucky shifted slightly from side to side, his bag brushing against you gently, almost like he was trying to get you to look at him, but you ignored it.

When the elevator dinged and the doors slid open, you stepped out into the parking garage. The air was cooler here, sharp with the scent of exhaust and fresh concrete. Steve led the way toward the sleek black SUV waiting at the curb. Its windows were tinted darker than standard issue, and the engine was idling with a quiet purr. The garage was practically empty, except for a few cars scattered haphazardly in different spots, nothing completely out of the ordinary.

Natasha popped the trunk, and Steve tossed your bag in, with Bucky following suit, slinging his own up on top of yours. You peeked into the trunk, your eyes landing on a large black case that was tucked neatly in the corner, with Steve’s shield beside it. You paused.

”Natasha, care to explain the small arsenal you’ve got in here?” You asked, cocking a brow at her. Bucky peered over your shoulder, looking at the same thing you were, glancing over at Natasha for an answer. She shrugged, moving them over, pulling the trunk door down with one hand.

”It’s a little insurance.” She responded.

”Against what, exactly? An entire fleet of super soldiers? You really think that is going to protect us if Orkolov decides to send people for us?” Bucky questioned, his arms crossing over his chest.

”You two poked a hornet’s nest with a flamethrower…Any type of weapon at this point will be beneficial to have.” Steve commented, walking towards the driver’s seat, you scoffed, adjusting your sweater as you brushed by Bucky, having him trail close behind you while you opened up the back door and slipped across the leather seats, your foot knocking against another black box. Bucky followed in behind you, the tension from earlier curling and lighting back to life, like an ember that refused to go out. You leaned your head back against the headrest, eyes flicking out the window, avoiding Bucky’s gaze that was burning into the side of your face.

Natasha climbed into the passenger seat, shutting the door with a quiet finality.

”Okay grandpa, let’s actually go a little above the speed limit this time.” She quipped as Steve put the car into drive, shaking his head at her, pulling out of the parking garage with practiced ease. The sun was rising on the streets of Vienna, but the citizens were nowhere to be found on the sidewalks. It was understandable to an extent, especially by the way the city buzzed until all hours of the night…The people had to sleep at some point.

Bucky leaned down, picking up the small case on the ground, placing it between the both of you, popping it open, checking the contents of it to distract him.

”Jesus Christ,” He muttered under his breath, eyeing the neat rows of ammo, the two short-range rifles, the three compact grenades that formed a triangle in the foam that held everything together, and a set of knives. “So much for a little bit of insurance Romanoff…” He added dryly, picking up one of the guns, and loading it, handing it over to you with a holster, giving himself the opportunity to touch your skin, even if it was just for a millisecond. You didn’t meet his eyes, but the contact made a shiver run down your spine, the unspoken words curling between the both of you just from the brief touch.

”Thanks,” You whispered, your voice tight, like a rubber band that was stretched to its limits. He didn’t say anything back, he just collected his own selection of weapons, then leaned back and stared ahead. You adjusted the weapon on your thigh, eyes scanning the empty streets that passed you once more, now getting an eerie feeling in your gut that something was off, you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

Then the first hit came like a thunderclap of reality.

One second the SUV was moving through the sleeping streets of Vienna and the next the sound of metal on metal screeched through your ears, the full speed impact of a truck hitting your side pulling you out of your mind in an instant. Glass exploded inward, and all four of you let out your own personal array of curses, the car spinning out while Steve tried to somehow regain control of the wheel. You could feel your ribs burn, your leg screaming with a searing pain, an unnatural warmth coating your skin, as the car settled, the scent of burnt tires filling your lungs. Bucky’s hand grabbed your arm, yanking you out of your daze.

”Are you okay?” He asked, panicked, unbuckling his seatbelt in one quick motion, shifting closer to you, his eyes roaming your body, pausing when he saw it, “Oh god.” He muttered, pulling back a little to look at the damage, your eyes followed his gaze, looking down at the right side of your ribcage, staring at the blooming crimson stain that soaked into your sweater, noticing a hole in the fabric where glass had sliced through and impaled your skin, a shard shimmering in the light.

”I’m fine, I’m fine.” You repeated, grabbing onto his vibranium wrist, trying to convince him of something you didn’t really believe. It wasn’t as bad as the other injuries you had experienced, but the timing was not beneficial to the situation.

The second hit came as quickly as the first did, another truck clipping the front of the car this time, spinning it out of control once again. The tires screamed and the metal buckled, jerking your body sideways, but before you could even brace yourself for the impact, Bucky wrapped his arm around you, putting his body weight over yours to shield you from any additional injuries or glass, pressing his vibranium hand against the ceiling of the SUV to brace himself, the vehicle continuing to spin like it was kicked by a god. His breath was ragged against your ear as the sickening motion screeched to a violent halt, the front end slamming into a cement pillar.

Smoke was already curling from the hood, the SUV croaking out its final grunt of life before the engine died. You hissed through your teeth, feeling Bucky pull himself from you, his hand immediately undoing your seatbelt, while the other one caressed your cheek, gently tilting your head.

”Y/N…Hey. Open your eyes.” He instructed sternly, his fingers tapping against your face, getting your attention in an instant.

”You guys okay back there?” Steve asked, his voice sounding like it was distant, almost as if the ringing in your ears was clouding the volume. Your eyes slowly fluttered open, coughing the smoke out of your lungs.

”Y/N’s bleeding, she’s got some glass in her.” Bucky said, his blue irises frantically scanning over you and the dazed look you had on your face, his fingers pressing more firmly against your cheek. You blinked again, your vision swimming into clarity, wincing at the pain that spread like fire under your skin. Bucky grabbed your hand and placed it against your ribs, pressing his down onto the back of yours.

”Keep pressure on it okay? We are gonna move you.” His voice was so calm, yet underneath it all there was a sense of urgency, something sharp, something worried even. He was not the version of him that had kissed you like you were his source of oxygen just half an hour ago, nor was he the version that cried in your arms when you had hugged him…This…This was survival Bucky. You nodded at him, pressing down against the wound.

He leaned over the backseat, grabbing Steve’s shield, handing it to him quickly. The smell of smoke and burning rubber grew thicker by the second, and the sun had barely begun to rise over the skeletal outlines of the buildings around you. The SUV’s hood hissed with steam, and the shattered windshield was a jagged mess of glass and spiderweb cracks. Even through all of this everything remained eerily still. No footsteps. No chatter. No traffic. Just the four of you against whatever was coming.

”We need to get the fuck out of this car before we get flanked.” Natasha said, her voice cutting through the tension like a blade. Then…

A sharp buzz of static echoed through the streets.

“You said we’d meet again, didn’t you? And my, my…I think I beat my own record, didn’t even have you wait more than twenty-four hours…I must admit, I think that’s quiet impressive.” His voice echoed through the streets, the thick accent, the odd whistling in his speech from where his teeth had been knocked out the night before, it was all too familiar, and instantly recognizable. Orkolov. Your blood ran cold, even as your wound burned hot beneath your hand. The voice echoed unnaturally through the street, projected through concealed speakers somewhere in the shadows of the buildings, bouncing around like a ghost that wouldn’t die.

Steve had already thrown his door open, shield in hand, sweeping the street with his eyes. Natasha followed instantly, gun drawn, crouching behind the SUV.

”Barnes, there’s an alley on your left, get her to cover. Steve and I are gonna start moving down the street, see if we can get an extraction point.” Bucky didn’t hesitate for a second, his vibranium hand wrapped around your forearm gently despite the urgency of the situation, kicking the door open and pulling you out of the wrecked vehicle. Your legs trembled beneath you from the impact, your right leg pulsing with pain, like you couldn’t bear weight on it, but he kept you upright, half-carrying, half-guiding you toward the alleyway that Natasha pointed out, right between two shuttered storefronts, as Orkolov’s voice followed you like smoke.

“You thought I would let the both of you go after what you did? Thought I would give you the proper information on the super soldier delivery? After all that? You are both so naive…They’re already here making their way to this exact location to clear you guys out.” You glanced up at Bucky as he guided you down slowly onto the damped concrete behind a dumpster, crouching low with his gun drawn, his body staying angled in front of yours. You could see the tension in every line on his face, his muscles coiling from the venomous tone Orkolov was taking, knowing that he had this prepared all along. You wrapped your hand around Bucky’s forearm, in an attempt to possibly calm him down, his eyes drawing down to yours, his hot breath fanning over your face due to the close proximity.

”But I’m not going to kill you…Not before I get to see what I’ve always wanted to…An old war machine…” The words sank into the silence, and you could feel Bucky’s muscles stiffen beneath your touch, his fist clenching. “Because I’m a nice man though…I’ll give you two love birds a moment to say goodbye.” You could hear the smugness of his voice, the mocking tone he took, even though the odds were stacked against you, Steve, Bucky, and Natasha for that matter. The air changed in those moments, and there was a heavy, looming dread that overtook the both of you. Your hand tightened around his arm even more.

”Bucky.” You whispered, “Don’t listen to him. Focus on me.” He shook his head.

”Y/N…You know that’s not how it works…I-If he has them…It’s over, this isn’t like last night, it won’t be a trance you can break me out of.” His voice was hoarse, eyes glassy, already brimming with tears, knowing that it was of no use trying to beat around the bush, the reality of the situation was clear as day. It was going to happen whether you liked it or not, and in minutes Bucky would be gone…Replaced with the person who tried to kill you. The thought made you sick, and just like him, your eyes began to flood with tears as well.

”Just when things were looking up huh?” You croaked, attempting to somehow lighten the moment, your other hand still pressing tight against the bleeding that was beginning to slow on your ribcage. He huffed, a weak laugh coming out of his mouth, shaking his head, putting his gun down beside you, before reaching up to cup your cheek, his thumb trembling as it wiped away a tear that escaped the corner of your eye. His gaze searched yours, desperate, pleading, and frantic, memorizing every part of your face, feeling you lean into his touch like it might be the last thing you ever got from him.

”Trust me…If I had a choice I would’ve stayed at that hotel with you for as long as you wanted.” He whispered back, the both of you sharing a bittersweet laugh, before your throat tightened from the flood of emotions that took you, the broken sound of your breath hitching. Bucky’s hand moved slowly down your cheek, gently curling behind your neck to draw you into him, his forehead pressing to yours, the warmth of his palm radiating against your skin. The silence stretched between the both of you, as you brought your hand up to his chin, scraping the stubble on it.

”This isn’t fair…” You stated, another set of tears escaping the corners of your eyes, trailing down your cheeks, catching on your jaw.

”I know,” He said, his breath shuddering, brushing warm over your lips. He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, eyes red rimmed, lashes soaked, “But I’m grateful we at least had a night together.” He added, his thumb brushing over the hair on the nape of your neck, as he leaned in to give you one last kiss, the most gentle of them all, yet the shortest, the taste of salt catching on your tongue.

“I need you to promise me something,” He breathed, his vibranium hand coming up to hold your heated cheek, your tears sliding down his palm, seeping into the crevices. You nodded, feeling his thumb pressing into your skin, your hand still caressing his jaw.

“If he comes out…If he takes over fully. If he even comes close to you…You don’t hesitate. You don’t flinch. You don’t beg…And you don’t wait. You do what you have to, so that you can get out safely, okay?” Your mind was racing at a thousand miles a minute trying to make sense of what he was asking of you, your eyes searching his, seeing the way he looked down at you, almost like he knew he had no chance against this, the lines between his brows etching hard into his skin. It finally clicked.

“Bucky…You can’t ask that of me.” You could see the sadness in his eyes, the way they turned down at you, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip, smearing your tears along it.

“I would rather die by your hand than live through the possibility that I did something even worse than before to you…Do you understand me?” Your breath caught in your throat, every inch of your body trembling, not from pain, not from the blood still soaking into your sweater, but from the weight of what he was asking. What he was pleading for.

“Y-Yes I understand.” You sniffled, his hand still resting against your face, cradling it gently. The look in his eyes told you everything; he wasn’t asking because he wanted to. He was asking because he had to. Because there was no one else he trusted to make the call. No one else who mattered enough to make the act hurt less.

“Promise me you’ll do it.” He whispered, his voice raspy, raw, and broken, cracking at the seams as he tried to stay stoic.

You stared at him, the man who had once been your enemy. Who had cared enough to ask Steve about you when you were in the hospital. Who you had hated until something in you cracked open and everything inside came pouring out to fill his reservoir.

And now…

Now he was asking you to kill him.

The sound that left your throat wasn’t even a word–it was a whimper, a sob, a choking gasp of a person being forced to make a choice no one should ever have to make.

Your lips trembled.

Your heart shattered.

But you nodded.

Just once.

Barely.

“…Okay.”

The second you said it, something inside you died.

You felt it, that small, stubborn hope you’d been clutching like a lifeline slipping through your fingers like sand, dissolving into the blood on your sweater, the smoke in your lungs, the tears on your cheeks.

Bucky closed his eyes.

And when he opened them again, he looked at peace. Not happy. Not even relieved. Just at rest. Like he’d finally let go of the weight he’d carried for too long.

“I’m sorry,” He said, his voice barely more than a breath. “For everything.” You couldn’t see him through the blur of tears that continued to form in your eyes, your fingers trembling against his chin, his breath still fanning out over your skin from how close he was to you.

“I forgive you.” Was all you could get out, before the static over the speakers hissed back to life, and the first word dropped like a nuclear bomb between the both of you.

“Желание.” Longing. Bucky’s body tensed up almost in an instant, like his body had taken a bullet to the spine. Your hand was still on his cheek when it started, and he flinched like your skin burned him, his eyes going wide as a sudden tremor shook through him. Slowly, his hands slipped from your skin, the warmth fleeting, being replaced by the cool air that blew through the alleyway. His vibranium fingers wrapped around your wrist, and with devastating gentleness, he pulled your palm away from his jaw.

“Ржавый.” Rusted. He dropped your hand into your lap, a guttural sound ripping out of his throat while he tried to shuffle back away from you. His lips parted as if he was trying to say something, but right before anything could make its way out his jaw clenched, and he doubled over, his hair falling in front of his face, attempting to move himself away from you even more. His vibranium hand was steady against the concrete beneath him, as his other hand reached up to grip the back of his neck, you could see the way his nails dug into the skin, the soft tone of it going a deep red from how hard he was clawing at the same spot over and over again.

Then his teeth snapped together.

“Печь.” Furnace. You heard the crunch. The wet, squelchy sound of flesh between teeth echoing through your ears, your eyes immediately noticing blood dripping from his mouth in thick hot streaks, staining the concrete.

“Bucky!” You gasped, your instincts taking over before you could even think, your hands reaching out to him despite the pain that radiated from your ribs and from your leg. He staggered back, flinching at your attempt to touch him, his face coming back into your line of sight, his blue eyes glistening with terror, a sheen of sweat forming just above his brow.

”Stay…Stay back.” He choked, the words muffled and slurring around the blood that continued to fill his mouth, dripping from the corners, staining his skin.

“Рассвет.” Daybreak. Bucky let out a strangled gasp, his lungs seizing mid-breath, his vibranium hand reeling back and slamming into the concrete, a crack forming from the impact. You didn’t flinch, nor did you move a muscle, all you could do was cry, and watch as he slipped away from you with each word.

“Семнадцать.” Seventeen. His whole body shook, spine arching so hard it looked like something within him was trying to snap him in two. He let out a blood-choked scream, his hand continuing to claw at the back of his neck, scratching so much that his skin was raw, like he was trying to physically tear the programming out of his brain before it rooted into his system again, and invaded him. His shoulders met the opposite wall of the alley, his boots slipping in the blood and the shallow puddles beneath him.

”D-Don’t l-look.” He stuttered. His voice didn’t sound whole anymore, it was splintered, like it came from deep inside a collapsing structure, his chin coated now slicked and stained with the crimson blood that continued to flow out of his mouth. “P-P-Please don’t l-look.” He begged, as you tore your eyes away from him, another sick crunch being heard as his jaw locked, biting into the already raw and bleeding flesh of his cheek once again. You winced at the sound, shaking from the breaths you were trying to take in through your sobs. You could hear him spit onto the ground, the rocks beneath him scraping against one another as he shifted.

“Добросердечный.” Benign. The scream that tore from Bucky’s throat was no longer human, it sounded like a wounded animal, raw and ragged, like his soul was being dragged out through his chest. It echoed down the alleyway, bouncing off brick and steel like a siren of death, a sound so harrowing it stopped your breath mid-sob. Your eyes glanced at him, as he twisted against the wall, his back arching off it, limbs spasming like he was being electrocuted from the inside out. You couldn’t take it anymore. With all the strength you had left you scrambled forward, your sweater dragging through the puddles of blood that had dripped from his mouth, ignoring the white-hot pain that erupted from your ribs and leg. Before you could reach him, he slammed his vibranium fist into the pavement between the both of you. A warning that was wordless yet absolute.

Stay back.

His eyes were glassy with terror, wide and dilated, locked on you like you were a tether to the last piece of himself, he shook his head at you, the blood continuing to stream down his chin in thick glistening strands, dripping onto his white shirt, soaking it.

”C-Can’t…” Was all he could get out, his bottom lip shaking, bracing for the next word to come.

“Девять.” Nine. He grunted, bringing his hands up to his skull, his nails digging into his temples, dragging angry red lines down the side of his face, wincing at the pain coming from his bleeding mouth, and now from the marks he had made on himself. His teeth were coated a crimson red, as he spat again, trying to remove the excess blood that continued to flood his mouth.

“Возвращение домой.” Homecoming. His breath came out in staggered, wet, broken gasps. Choking slightly as his back arched again, his palms falling to the concrete to somehow brace himself so he wouldn’t fall. You could hear him trying to speak, his lips forming your name. It was slurred, distorted beyond comprehension, half-swallowed by the blood, and half-erased by the war that ran through his mind.

“Y-Y/N-“ He forced your name out, voice straining like it was dragged across glass, like he was attempting to keep your name on his lips so when he inevitably turned, The Winter Soldier would spare you somehow. You pushed yourself up onto your hands, still looking at him, your sweater soaked in a mixture of your blood, his blood, and the water from the puddles that lined the alleyway.

“Один.” One. His fingers curled into the concrete, veins rising beneath his skin. His back arched, muscles pulled so tight they looked like they might snap from the tension. The scream he let out was strangled and wet, ripped through clenched teeth, his jaw trembling with the effort not to break. The coagulated blood continued to spill from his mouth, thick and hot, splattering the ground beneath him in rhythmic droplets. He didn’t sound human anymore.

“Грузовой вагон.” Freight car. Suddenly he collapsed forward, panting, his body twitching once, then twice, before freezing completely, his hair shielding his face, so it was out of your sight completely. Silence overtook the alleyway, and all you could hear was your heart beating in your ears, banging through your chest like a drum. You were breathing fast, on the brink of hyperventilating, as he lifted his his slowly, and looked at you.

His irises were blown, wild and distant. You could’ve sworn they were black, because you couldn’t see the signature storm blue, not even a hint of it. It was just darkness.

Then he moved with such ease, like he wasn’t just fighting for his life seconds ago. It was smooth, fluid, and silent, the perfect mix for a highly trained assassin. He crawled towards you on his hands and knees, the puddles ripping with every movement staining his sweatpants, his mouth still dripping blood.

You scrambled backward, your palms slipping against the wet concrete, your wound on your ribs screaming for your attention. You tried to speak, tried to say his name, to plead, but your breathing was so fast it just came out in choked noises. The puddles rippled beneath his hands, spreading red with each movement, his palms dragging through his own blood, staining them even further. Your spine hit the cold wall behind you, the rough texture biting through your sweater, every nerve in your body immediately lighting ablaze as the raw panic settled in.

“Bucky…” You rasped, finally managing to say something. He didn’t answer, not that you were expecting him to anyways. His head hung low as he moved, his long strands of sweat drenched hair clinging to his cheeks and jaw, finally close enough in proximity that you could smell the metallic, coppery scent of his blood, like you were breathing in pure rust.

Your lips parted, a tremor shaking through your body, his body shifting in front of you, mirroring how he shielded your body when you had arrived in the alley. His head tilted just enough for you to see the way the blood glistened along his teeth, watching your sweater garner more and more stains from where the crimson strings dripped from his chin. His breath hit your face, warm, humid and metallic. Your nose crinkled at the smell, his shadow draping over you completely. You pressed yourself tighter against the wall, still holding your wound, wincing while trying to build distance between you and him.

His gaze dropped, and you followed it, seeing it lingering on the spot where you were bleeding, your fingers trembling with every shallow breath you tried to take. His hand came up, his movements precise and calculating as he reached towards where your hand was.

“D-Don’t…Please don’t.” You whispered, your voice barely audible through the trembling in your chest. But he didn’t stop. His eyes, black and bottomless, remained fixed on the bloodied press of your hand over your ribs. With a single, rough jerk, he shoved your palm aside, and suddenly the dam broke and you screamed, only for it to be cut off by his hand clamping over your mouth.

The blood on his skin was warm, slick and metallic as it smeared across your lips and chin, his grip tightening just enough to muffle you. In that moment you thought this was it, this was where he was going to kill you, and you couldn’t even care less, because you weren’t bringing yourself to shoot him, no matter what you had promised Bucky. Something in The Winter Soldier’s eyes told you he knew exactly what you were thinking, as he watched another fresh set of tears streaming down your cheeks, soaking into the side of his hand.

You squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for the pain, for the end, for the inevitable…But then his vibranium hand began to move, pushing apart the torn fabric of your sweater to expose the wound, his fingers curling around something jagged that shifted in you, something that didn’t belong, the shard of glass. In one quick motion he yanked, and a scream tore from your lungs, muffling and vibrating against your face, his hand loosening just a little bit from your mouth so you could breathe easier, even though the taste of his blood was making you lightheaded. There was temporary relief from the burning sensation, and now when you inhaled it didn’t feel like your entire right side was going to explode…

The sound of glass shattering rang out through your ears, causing you to flinch. For a single, petrified second, you were certain he was going to drive that shard into your gut—twist it until your lungs collapsed or until you bled out. You had braced for it, felt your heart seize in anticipation of the pain that never came but the wave of relief when he had thrown it almost made your sobbing worse.

He slid his hand off your mouth, smearing the blood along your skin in the process, his touch lingering for just a few seconds before leaving you completely, his shadow still looming over you, while his breath fanned over your skin.

You opened your eyes, though your vision was occluded due to the tears that just kept coming. You blinked gently, allowing them to fall down your cheeks, letting them intermingle with the blood stains he left on you, until you finally dared to look up at him.

His face was still, frozen and devoid of emotion. His mouth was open, and his cheeks were swollen from where he had torn through the wet flesh with his teeth. He was still bleeding but it had tapered off a bit, his body already working overtime to heal itself as fast as it could. His pupils remained dilated, but something—something in those dark, hollow eyes flickered. Just barely.

Recognition.

It was fractured, uncertain, and buried deep beneath layers of programming, but it was there. A single thread in a web of chaos. His brows twitched, and the muscles in his jaw tightened beneath your observant eyes. You didn’t know if it was your face or your voice echoing in his ears, but something rooted him to the spot and stopped all additional movements from him.

“…Do you know me?” You asked, the question spilling out of your lips like you were a madwoman that completely forgot who she was sitting in front of.

He didn’t answer.

But his body shifted subtly. Slowly. Mechanically. His bloodstained palm coming up to hover over your face.

His eyes, black and void of all emotion, didn’t blink. They pinned you in place, and for the first time since he changed, there was something behind them. Something that watched you not like a target, but like a truth.

A memory.

His gaze dropped, not in fear or hesitation, but with razor-sharp purpose, tracing the line from your face to the center of your chest.

And then his hand moved down.

Not fast.

Not like he was going to go in for a strike. It was like he was landmarking, the shadow of his hand ghosting over your collarbone, before stopping right where the zipper of your sweater started.

Then with the greatest hesitation, he pressed his palm flat against your chest.

Right over the scar.

Over the thick, blood-matted fabric of your ruined sweater. Over the place his knife had sunk in–when you were screaming, when you had fought him, when your blood had spilled across his hands and he didn’t stop.

Your breath caught in your throat, shallow and fast. You could feel your pulse hammering right beneath where his palm lay, and somehow, that felt more terrifying than if he had tried to kill you again. Because this wasn’t the Soldier attacking.

This was him having a conscience of some sort, which was certainly not in his programming.

A beat passed.

Then another.

His hand didn’t move for a long time, it just rested there, he wasn’t pressing hard enough to hurt you, but it wasn’t a ghost of a touch, either. It was firm. Present. A silent claim. A memory anchoring itself to flesh.

You could feel his fingers tremble slightly, just the smallest quiver against the slope of your chest. Whether it was from restraint or something else, you didn’t know. But he didn’t pull away.

Your hand moved before your mind caught up–slowly, trembling, stained with dried blood. You reached across the space between you, watching him the whole time, watching the unreadable storm behind those bottomless black eyes.

And then you touched him.

Your palm met his chest, just over his heart. You were surprised that you felt its faint beat through your hand, steady and strong. The fabric of his shirt was soaked through, sticky with blood and sweat, but through it you could feel the coldness that radiated from him.

He flinched at first contact. It was a subtle recoil, a twitch in the muscles beneath your hand. But he didn’t stop you. Didn’t push you away. And somehow that meant everything.

You kept your hand there, splayed open over him like you were trying to absorb some part of him back into yourself, a soft sigh escaping your throat, as your pulse pounded in your ears. Even though he wasn’t Bucky, there was still something in there that held The Winter Soldier back from doing what he does best, you just couldn’t understand what, or how it was happening. He continued to stare at you as you carefully brought your other hand up into his line of sight, reaching towards his face, wanting to see how far he’d let you go until he showed his true colours and snapped.

His eyes flickered over to your fingers, watching them hover above the dark red swelling on his cheek–where his teeth had torn into his own flesh in a desperate attempt to resist the programming that was built into him. He didn’t stop you–but he didn’t invite you to continue either, he simply waited with the same unreadable expression carved into his blood-slicked features like stone.

With the utmost caution, you closed the space, allowing your palm to press against his cheek. His skin was ice cold, like winter steel. Like something that was forged from the snow that never dethawed. The bite of it stung your fingertips, and it made you flinch, yet you kept your hand there, cupping the wounded part of him as if it could ease the agony he had inflicted on himself.

Your thumb brushed faintly over his cheek, across the dried, sticky blood that coated his skin, trying to be gentle with him even though his eyes were still dilated and blank, like he was on the brink of switching at any time.

For these suspended moments he let you touch him like he was who you desperately wanted him to be, absorbing every caress like it was meant for him, even though it wasn’t. You watched as he closed his eyes, his lips parting for a brief moment, before he spoke.

“Ты моя слабость.” You are my weakness. The words slipped from his lips like a sin–low, hoarse, and raw. It was a confession, a surrender, dragged from the deep, ruined part of him that no amount of programming could erase. You could feel your pulse throbbing beneath your skin, warmth spreading throughout your entire body.

The Winter Soldier–this cold, broken weapon that had been forged in blood and silence–had just admitted something no handler could have beaten out of him. No conditioning could have rewritten that. And as his breath ghosted over your skin–thick with the coppery scent of his blood–you felt something inside you shift, fracturing, breaking.

Your fingers trailed from his cheek to his jawline, following the sharp curve that was slick with drying blood. Your hand settled gently at the side of his cold damp neck, where his pulse bounded against the pads of your fingers at an irregular rhythm, he was nervous, but it didn’t show on his face. His eyes still weren’t open, but you could see his bottom lip trembling, like he was trying to resist whatever was going on inside his head.

Then slowly, you pulled him towards you, until his ear hovered beside your lips, and his blood-matted hair brushed against your cheek, the scent of iron truly invading your senses this time. You swallowed thickly, tilting your head so your breath tickled the shell of his ear.

“Я твоя слабость, потому что он все еще дышит внутри тебя… Обещай мне, что ты позволишь ему вернуться, Солдат.” I am your weakness because he’s still breathing inside you…Promise me you’ll let him come back, Soldat. It was as if you could feel his body stall as the words slipped from your lips, like the act of breathing for him suddenly became foreign. You assumed it was because he didn’t think you knew Russian, or maybe it was because you were pleading with him to give up his residency in Bucky’s body, either way, the tension between the both of you was palpable.

There was a moment where nothing happened, where he was still, where you couldn’t even tell if he was breathing–if it wasn’t for his pulse slamming against your fingertips you would’ve thought he died because of how statuesque he was.

Then he began to turn his head to the side, just enough for his eyes to meet yours. They were still black, twin voids with a slight ring of blue surrounding them if you looked closely–which due to the proximity, you could basically see every detail in them. His forehead hovered an inch from yours, and now you were sharing air, invading each other's lungs with every exhale and inhale.

The two of you were locked in place, blood-stained and tethered by something unspoken, though neither of you looked away from one another. It was as if you were communicating without words, until he gave you a small nod. It was so faint you thought you imagined it, but you took it as an answer, a promise, regardless of how tiny the gesture was.

Before you could say anything to him, a distinct sound pierced the quiet.

It was distant at first, the sound of tires rolling against concrete, the faint squeaking of the truck's suspension heaving from its occupants, the rumbling of the engine. Then it grew closer, stopping short behind the mouth of the alley.

The Winter Soldier pulled away for a moment, his body immediately growing rigid, slipping back into its calculated, mechanical, inhuman form. He glanced over the dumpster, scanning the area with professional accuracy, his ears tuning into every sound the new arrivals made, trying to figure out how many there were just by the different types of step patterns he heard. He counted out five, but for all he knew it could’ve been more.

You felt his vibranium hand slip down to the gun holster on your thigh, unclipping the bloodied leather to slide the sidearm free. He looked down at you, then to the gun, examining it for a moment, getting comfortable with the grip before removing his bloodied palm from your chest, reaching for the other gun he had placed beside you prior to his transformation. You watched him closely, seeing the way his thumbs traced over the grips, adjusting his hands to suit the weapons, before putting them both down briefly.

Wordlessly, and with a steady touch, slipped his hands under your knees, guiding your legs inward, up towards your chest so you were practically curled into a ball behind the dumpster. He was careful, precise, and made sure he didn’t cause you any additional pain, nudging you behind the rusted metal just a bit more to ensure you were completely covered. You both shared one last look at each other, him giving you one more nod to solidify what he had agreed to just moments prior. I’ll let him come back.

Then without another thought, he picked up both guns–yours and his–rose in one quick motion, and slipped out the opposite end of the alley, his footsteps careful enough not to echo and give off his location prematurely, before firing off a warning shot that rang through your ears. The shadows swallowed him whole, leaving you alone, listening to the chaotic array of comms going off, and an array of arguing that came in short bursts, followed by footsteps going further away from where you sat behind the dumpster.

You stayed frozen for a long while after he left. You couldn’t breathe right. Couldn’t think. All you could do was curl tighter into yourself behind the dumpster, your hand pressed to the wound on your ribs, the other slick with drying blood that didn’t even feel like yours anymore. Your ears rang with the phantom echo of his words. With the memory of his hand over your mouth, smearing blood across your lips like a brand, then the way he put the same one against your chest.

You didn’t know how long you sat there trembling. It could’ve been minutes. Could’ve been hours. Then you heard running coming from the same direction he vanished from. You lifted your head weakly, bracing for the possibility that the super soldiers found you before they could get taken out, accepting your fate without a fraction of fear.

From the shadows, Natasha stepped into the light, sweeping the alley with her weapon drawn, her eyes sharp and ready to shoot anything that moved, but it was Steve who saw you first. The look of horror that draped on his face was indescribable, it was as if he was having flashbacks to when he found you after The Winter Soldier had attacked you.

”Y/N/.” He said, filled with panic, his shield clattering to the ground as he rushed towards you, dropping to his knees in front of you. His hands hovering over you, not knowing where to start, his eyes frantically going over the bloodstains on your sweater, seeing the wound you were holding with your hand, then looking up to your face, seeing the blood smears that had dried a deep maroon on your skin, resembling bruises.

”Jesus…What happened to you?!” His voice cracking around the question, hesitant to touch you, afraid it might make things worse, Natasha crouching beside you as well now, her brows knitting together with concern. She scanned you–trained, methodical, emotion carefully restrained behind her steel-colored eyes.

“Did he…Did he do this to you?” She asked, pushing your hand off the wound that she was already aware of, applying pressure herself instead, pressing down significantly harder than you had, a hiss escaping your mouth.

”No. I’m not injured apart from my leg and the wound I got from the accident.” You sputtered out through clenched teeth, your fingers curling into the sticky fabric of your sweater.

”You don’t have to cover for him. We heard the trigger words Y/N…He turned into The Winter Soldier, there’s no way he didn’t do anything to you. We heard you scream.” Steve shot back, watching you close your eyes tightly.

”I’m telling you the truth. He didn’t hurt me…He pulled the glass out of the wound…He covered my mouth so I wouldn’t give away our location.” You explained, cringing as Natasha pressed a bit harder into the wound, the pain turning into a slow pulsing throb.

”How do you explain all this blood then?” Steve quipped, motioning to all over you.

”He was bleeding from his mouth…He bit through the inside of his cheek when he was turning…He was trying to resist it.” You said between laboured breaths, feeling your skin beginning to mend together slowly beneath Natasha’s palm, the serum finally kicking up into your bloodstream. “He didn’t lay a hand on me, at least not with the intention of hurting me…You know I’d be dead if he did.” Steve froze in his spot, his eyes glancing over at Natasha, uncertainty flickering behind his blue irises.

”I’ve never seen him do that before…Sure, maybe he’s overridden orders but that was after I took a beating and a half from him…He’s never fought back against the trigger words itself though.” Natasha’s hand slowly began to ease from your side, loosening the pressure, her eyes burning a hole into your cheek, almost like she already knew the reason why, her brain idly connecting the dots, then suddenly an array of gunshots and screaming echoed down the street.

”Listen, how about we discuss this when we get to the extraction point. We only have ten minutes to get there and we are wasting them talking about why he spared her.” She cut in. You immediately tense up, looking between both her and Steve.

”Wait…What about Bucky? We can’t just leave him.” You said, desperately. Steve clenched his jaw, and you could see how the veins in his neck stood out slightly under his skin. You saw the guilt feathering over his features, the conflict playing out on his face, the ache that always lingered behind his eyes when it came to Bucky, and the fear that loomed in the background, knowing that there was a possibility The Winter Soldier wasn’t going to take kindly to him or Natasha if they decided to wait for him.

Steve let out a steady breath through his nose, steadying himself slightly like he was trying to hold back the emotions that were beginning to build within his chest.

”I don’t want to leave him…” He said quietly, “But we can’t risk it Y/N, not like this. We don’t know how he will react to us, and we don’t know if what he did with you was a one off. He could kill us.” He added, seeing the way your eyes began brimming with tears while you shook your head at him.

”You know damn well he would do anything in his power to get to you if you were in his position Steve…You can’t do that to him…Please, don’t do that to him.” Steve dropped his gaze from yours, feeling the anger behind what you were saying.

“We will call for a separate extraction. We just can’t take him with us now. We don’t have time, and we can’t risk it.” Natasha cut in, coming to Steve’s defence. You swallowed hard.

”I’m not leaving him.” You stated, meaning it with every inch of your body. You took in laboured breaths, feeling your side ache for a brief moment, stinging as the flesh began to tether together, but you still refused the idea of leaving Bucky here alone.

”Then we’ll have to do this the hard way.” Steve said, shifting forward quickly. You didn’t even have time to recoil before his arms were under you, scooping you up and throwing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. Immediately you protested.

”No! Get the fuck off me! Let me go!” You screamed, your voice cracking, as you squirmed and kicked against him, the sides of your fists hitting his broad back, seeing Natasha picking up his shield, following closely as he began to move down the alley, opposite to where the screams and gunfire were ringing out.

“Put me down! Don’t do this!” You begged with tears streaming down your face in hot streaks, feeling your chest tighten with every short inhale you took between sobs.

”I’m sorry, Y/N…But I’m not leaving you here to die. I’m doing this for your own safety.” Steve retorted, moving quickly through the streets.

”Fuck my own safety!” You shot back, another fist slamming into his back, continuing to squirm against him to try to make it harder for him to move, even though it had little impact, “You’re abandoning your own fucking friend!” You yelled. Every word that fell from your mouth was like a blade and every thrash of your body against his back was a reminder of the weight of what he was doing. Yet, his arms stayed firm around your legs as he pushed forward, past the burnt-out cars, and closed stores, toward the extraction point that felt like it was lightyears away.

Your sobs grew louder, harsher. Each gasp was ragged, caught between broken cries and short, shallow breaths that made your chest rise and fall like a ticking time bomb. You were falling apart with every second that passed, and it was beginning to worry Steve and Natasha, they had never seen you in such distress before, especially for someone you couldn’t stand three days ago.

Your vision began to blur, shifting into shapes and shadows. You couldn’t get a full breath in. Your lungs clawed at the air, trying to fill, but each inhale came shorter than the last. Your throat burned. Your chest ached. Every sob stuttered in your body, and then, everything went black.

——————

A violent gasp tore out of your throat when you regained consciousness hours later. You jolted upright, eyes wild, searching around the bunk that you were in, hands scrambling around the sheets in a panic, like you were looking for a weapon.

“Woah, woah…Hey, take it easy.” Steve said, breaking through the fog that clouded your mind, his hands coming up to hold onto your shoulders, steadying you as much as possible. It took a second for your eyes to adjust to the low lighting, to the cool press of metal walls and the familiar hum of the Quinjet that surrounded you. The bunk you were in was small, cramped, tucked along the edge of the jet’s interior. You were wrapped in a grey military-issued blanket that had slipped halfway down your frame. Beneath it, your clothes were still torn and bloodstained, but the wound on your side had healed, which was a minor relief.

“W-What happened?” You asked, looking up at Steve, who now took a seat on the bed, his expression soft, and exhausted.

”You couldn’t catch your breath, and you passed out,” He said gently, “You’ve been unconscious for a few hours.” Hours. You blinked hard, trying to process his words, feeling the dread coming up and settling in your throat.

”…Where is Bucky?” You whispered, watching the way Steve took his eyes off of you, avoiding your gaze, his hands leaving your shoulders slowly. You could feel your pulse beginning to rise again with each minute of silence that passed through the room.

”Steve. Where is he?” You pushed, your voice stern now, fighting through the panic that pressed into your lungs. He let out a sigh, finally lifting his eyes to meet yours.

”We called for a second extraction for him…But they told us we needed to wait until they could get one of the secured units out to him, the ones with a cell. They didn’t want to risk bringing him back without one.” He explained, his eyes scanning over you with concern when he saw your face drop. Your stomach twisted at his words, your shaky hand coming up to cover your mouth, feeling bile rising in your throat.

”I need a bag…I think I’m gonna vomit.” You warned quietly, your bottom lip trembling, watching as Steve stood up from the bed to grab the trash bin near one of the storage containers, handing it over to you quickly. You barely managed to get the bin in your lap before your stomach turned violently. There wasn’t much to throw up since you hadn’t eaten that morning, but the dry heaving still tore through you with brutal force, leaving your throat raw and your muscles shaking, as your body ejected whatever liquid it could.

Steve crouched beside the bunk, one hand steadying the bin, the other rubbing circles along your back, trying to provide you some sort of comfort. Trailing near the end of your vomiting episode you let out a gut wrenching cry, the kind that came straight from your chest, as you raised your head, tears already streaming from your eyes. Steve didn’t say anything at first. He just reached for the trash bin, set it aside gently, and then–without hesitation– he wrapped his arms around you. His touch was careful, firm but not constricting, like he was afraid you might shatter if he held on too tightly. You stiffened at first from the contact, but the moment you felt his steady heartbeat against your temple and his breath settling into your hair, you gave in, sobbing uncontrollably, his shirt soaking up the tears that fell from your eyes.

He didn’t ask questions. He didn’t tell you to calm down. He just held you like a brother would, his fingers drawing slow, grounding circles into your back while your body shook with the weight of guilt that overtook every inch of your mind. He waited until the storm inside you ebbed, to pull back enough to see your tear stained face, his expression full of concern and confusion, his thumbs coming up to wipe the wetness off your cheeks.

“Y/N…Will you be honest with me and tell me what’s really going on…You’re never like this, I haven’t seen you this emotionally beat up since you were hospitalized, and I’m struggling to understand what’s happening inside your head right now.” Your eyes closed for a moment, feeling the truth sitting heavy in your throat, burning to be said, to be put out there, to be known. You had no clue where to begin with the confession. How could you possibly explain that you formed this connection with one of your sworn enemies that you despised, that did an unthinkable act to you? How could you somehow convince someone that within two days of being saturated within one another you managed to put all your differences aside and bond? It was impossible to do it without sounding like a crazy person, and you knew that, but you took the leap of faith hoping that the scramble of words that poured out of your mouth would convey everything you wanted to say.

”I didn’t mean for it to happen,” You murmured, your eyes darting away from Steve’s, swallowing the lump in your throat, a small laugh coming out of you, almost in disbelief, “God, I didn’t even think it would happen in general. I hated him. You know I did. But…It was like when we got on the plane, and we were alone, things just changed.” You could still feel Steve’s eyes on you, listening with such intent that it looked like he was hanging off every word you said. You looked back at him, your lips pulling up into a bittersweet smile, “I was ready to kill him on that fucking plane…But he didn’t even put up a fight, he showed up with guilt, apologies, he felt remorse for what he did and he was so caring… I just couldn’t help but see him in a different light.” You paused, sniffling, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, noticing your skin was still stained with the blood from the alley.

”He’s everything you used to rant and rave about when you were trying to convince me to give him a chance to apologize.” Steve didn’t speak for a long moment, he just let everything you said settle between the two of you, letting out a long sigh.

”I knew it…” He said quietly, his hands leaving your cheeks, wiping the tears off on his pants. Your eyebrows knitted together.

”What?” He smirked at your reaction.

”Y/N…I’ve known Bucky my whole life basically, I know his tells, and it was pretty easy to piece things together when he kept staring at you from the kitchenette…Also I saw two sets of handprints on the bedroom mirror that the both of you forgot to clean off.” Your mouth dropped open, heat immediately creeping up your skin, rising up your neck and flaring out over your face.

”Could’ve been from the last guests.” You breathed, watching a grin draw up on Steve’s lips.

“Yeah…Not when I could see the little scratches Bucky’s vibranium hand made on the glass.” You couldn’t help but reach up to hide your face in your hands in embarrassment. Steve let out a soft laugh, gently tugging your makeshift shield away from your cheeks, “C’mon, we’re all adults here…Kind of. It’s not that big of a deal.” He explained, letting your wrists, leaning back on the edge of the bunk, bringing his elbows to rest on his knees. The silence that followed was heavier now, stretched and thoughtful, like the weight of what you’d just shared was finally settled into the space between you.

”You must’ve really got through to The Winter Soldier though…” Steve commented, breaking the silence. You tilted your head a bit, glancing down at the blood under your fingernails.

”What do you mean?” You asked, looking back up at him briefly.

”Well…The other reason why they said they needed a secured unit for him was because they found Orkolov and the other super soldiers completely unrecognizable. Executed.” You paused for a moment, your eyebrows raising.

”And you think that’s because of me?” He took a deep breath.

”He knew you were in danger, both The Winter Soldier and Bucky I mean…And judging by the way he tried to hide you behind the dumpster, I’m pretty sure all of that was to keep you safe. I don’t think he would’ve lived if it wasn’t for you…He took down seven super soldiers and Orkolov by himself…Think about that for a second.” You bit your bottom lip.

”I think you’re giving me too much credit here…” Steve gave you a look, one of those classic, weary, no-bullshit Captain America stares that cut through every deflection like a blade.

“I think I’m giving you exactly the credit you deserve,” he said, gently but firmly. “You’re the only one he didn’t hurt. Not a scratch. And I’ve seen him in that state before, he doesn’t hesitate, he doesn’t flinch. He neutralizes. Hell he almost fucking killed me when I encountered him, beat the crap out of me until I was black and blue…” You glanced away from him again, picking the skin around one of your nail beds, watching the dried blood flake off onto your sweater.

”…We should’ve waited for him…” You murmured, as Steve watched the way your eyes glossed over, like you were being transported somewhere else. Back to the alley. Where The Winter Soldier stared at you with those black eyes, drinking you in before he left you behind.

”We’ll get him back,” Steve said, his voice completely solid, leaving no room for doubt to peek in, “It’s just going to take a little longer…That’s all…”

——————

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into two months.

Two months of complete silence.

There was no word on Bucky. The extraction team had gone to Vienna three times and searched for him, but found nothing. The higher-ups refused to share any additional information with you and Steve, except for the same repeated line: “Be patient with us, we are doing what we can.”

It was hell.

Every night felt like a loop of that alley, his blood on your hands, the way he pressed his palm over your mouth, the wild look in his eyes that flickered with something more human than anyone expected. You couldn’t stop hearing your own heartbeat thundering in your ears as he disappeared into the shadows. You couldn’t stop thinking about whether he thought you left him on purpose.

You barely slept, and when you did you’d wake up the entire compound with your screaming. You didn’t eat much, just picked at whatever was made, nibbling until a wave of nausea took over and you were forced to stop. The others noticed, of course, they weren’t blind, so they kept their distance, tiptoeing around you while also trying to be supportive.

Natasha tried to keep you moving, dragging you to the training floor under the pretense of sharpening your form, but really, she was just trying to get you to feel something again. Bruce ran blood work on you twice, trying to figure out if the lack of appetite was caused by something physiological or if it was all in your head, but you could’ve saved him the trouble by telling him the truth.

You were heartbroken. That’s where your hunger strike and nightmares were coming from. It was plain and simple. This was the kind of heartbreak that sank deep into your marrow, made your body feel foreign, like your own skin was too heavy to carry. The kind that turned silence into something sharp that pressed against your chest until you had no choice but to gasp for air that never felt like enough.

Tony offered distractions in his own awkward way; projects, new tech for your suit, extra hands-on work in the lab. You tried once and ended up staring at a half-wired circuit board for an hour before leaving the screwdriver behind and going straight back to your room.

Steve stopped trying to push you after the third time he found you curled on the floor of the gym locker room, soaked in sweat and tears, fists raw from pounding the same bag until your knuckles split. After that, he didn’t try to give you pep talks anymore. Didn’t feed you false hope or ask you to stay strong. He just started sitting with you, whether it was on the balcony, or on the roof, rain or shine, it didn’t matter, he just wanted to make sure you had someone with you, and deep down inside, you appreciated his presence.

Then Sunday came.

You only remembered the day because Steve brought you coffee and sat on the balcony beside you, watching as you huddled into the blanket that was draped over your shoulders, the steam from the mug curling upward and kissing the morning air and your face. The sun was barely cresting over the skyline, serenading the clouds with its light, when your comm crackled to life beside you. You flinched at the noise, immediately putting your mug down on the coffee table, and picking up the device, bringing it to your ear.

”Go for Y/N,” You rasped, glancing over at Steve who was shifting in his spot, leaning forward a bit to tune into the call.

”We found him.” It was Hill. Her voice was curt, but quieter than her usual volume, soft and gentle, knowing that the information was going to hit you like a ton of bricks, “We got a ping from a remote safehouse on the outskirts of Hietzing. We got him. He’s alive.” Your eyes went wide, as your throat began to tighten.

“I-Is he okay?” You asked, your voice shaking, while a cool breeze brushed over your skin.

“Yes, but he’s sedated. We’re bringing him back to the compound now.” She replied, and it was like the world had shifted beneath your feet. You reached out to hold onto Steve’s arm, steadying yourself.

”ETA?”

“Four hours. I’ll keep you updated if there’s more information.” Then she hung up. You pulled the comm away from your ear, your hand shaking from the nerves that began to creep through your body, placing it beside your untouched coffee. Your eyes remained locked on some distant point beyond the skyline, body frozen, lungs tight, the word alive echoing over and over in your skull like a prayer you weren’t sure you deserved answered.

Steve’s hand wrapped gently around your wrist.

”Hey,” He said, drawing you out of your trance, “He’s coming back, that’s good news.” You blinked a few times, like you were trying to wake yourself from a fever dream, then you took in a deep breath, letting the ice cold air invade your lungs.

“He’s coming back…” You repeated. The knot that had been sitting in your chest for months, pulsing with guilt and fear, finally snapped loose. The tears came fast and silent, carving hot trails down your cheeks before you even noticed them. You didn’t sob, didn’t make a sound. It was like your body was too stunned to react the right way because of the relief that struck you.

Steve didn’t say anything. He just sat there with you, letting the silence carry the weight of it all. You wiped at your cheeks, sniffled softly, but the tears wouldn’t stop, but for once they weren’t due to sadness. He was alive, and that was all that mattered to you in those moments.

——————

The four hours dragged by like molasses.

You and Steve moved to the landing deck, wanting to be sure the both of you were the first ones that Bucky saw when he came off the jet.

Neither of you said much during the wait. Steve stood tall beside you, arms crossed over his chest, his face unreadable while he watched you pace along the marked up concrete. You were unable to keep still as your nerves twisted tighter and tighter with every passing minute. You were so anxious that it felt like your skin didn’t fit you properly.

The low roar of the jet’s engines thundered overhead, vibrating through your ribcage as it came into view. You stopped pacing. Steve straightened beside you, his arms slowly uncrossing as the both of you watched the aircraft descend onto the landing deck with a mechanical and gentle grace. You couldn’t take your eyes off of it, and every second that passed made your chest burn. Your hands trembled as the hydraulics hissed, the screech of metal settling into position echoing through the air. The engine cut out soon after, leaving everyone in total silence.

The ramp lowered with a deep groan, the steel creaking under the weight of anticipation. You didn’t breathe or move a single muscle. You were frozen in your spot, then your eyes caught the silhouette that made its way down, the sun casting down on him in the most glorious reveal.

It was him…It was Bucky.

His hair was longer than before, hanging just above his shoulders, but his face was the same. A little worn, maybe, but not broken. No bruises. No fresh scars. His bright eyes scanned the landing deck, alert and burning with something sharp and searching. His jaw clenched tight, his chest rose and fell heavy beneath a black tactical shirt stretched over a body that looked… Bigger. Somehow. Broader, thicker, even stronger than before. You blinked hard, almost in disbelief. He’d survived two months of god-knows-what, and somehow came back looking like an adonis.

“Bucky.” You breathed, then your legs began to move, and you took off. Your boots barely touched the ground as you sprinted towards him, your heart thundering against your chest like it wanted to break through your ribcage. His head snapped toward the heavy sound of your footsteps, and in those moments your name tumbled from his mouth with such softness that you could barely make out what he was saying.

He quickly moved down the ramp, opening up his arms to meet you halfway, bracing for impact as you collided in a soundless explosion. Your body launched into his, your arms immediately flying around his neck, legs wrapping and connecting behind his waist, catching you effortlessly, stumbling back a few paces before his arms slid around you, tightening like a vice grip.

You buried your face into his neck, and he exhaled like he had been holding his breath for two months. He squeezed you so tightly that it bordered on painful, but at that point you couldn’t care less. You inhaled shakily, drinking in his scent, one of many things you missed from him. He smelled like gunpowder, cedar smoke, and leather, with a hint of mint, you assumed he had a shower on the jet on the way over after he woke up from sedation, because there was no way he was pampering himself during the two months he was missing.

Bucky’s arms cinched tighter around your back, one hand fisting the fabric of your jacket like he didn’t trust the moment to be real unless he physically held something. His metal arm pressed into the curve of your spine, anchoring you to him while his flesh hand moved up to cradle the back of your head, fingers coming gripping your hair gently. His breath stuttered as he inhaled deeply, like the air in his lungs had been stale until now, like you were the only thing he trusted to fill his chest again.

”Jesus Christ, it really is you.” He whispered, disbelief cracking under his words. You pulled back just far enough to see him, bringing your hands up to cup the sides of his face, and it hit you all at once just how much you missed him. He looked up at you, his bright blue irises cascading over your face, taking in every detail, flickering with a raw tenderness that reached into the hollow of your ribs, a smile coming up on his lips.

”I’ve missed you so fucking much,” You said, voice cracking right down the middle of the sentence, “You have no idea what it’s been like without you…I didn’t know if you were dead. I didn’t know if you were alone or cold. God I didn’t even know if you were ever going to come back.” Bucky let out a soft, shuddering sound from his chest, sounding somewhere between a laugh and a breathless ache. While still clutching you tightly, he sank to the ground, sitting on the concrete with you still wrapped up in him.

”I was always going to find my way back to you,” He admitted, a smile drawing up on his lips, “Even if they never came for me…Even if it took fucking years…I would’ve crawled to the ends of the Earth, just to find you.” Your hands ran over his cheeks, the stubble grazing across your fingers with each stroke, your eyes scanning over his.

”I thought about you every day.” He murmured, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours, eyes closing to breathe you in, “You were in everything. I’d close my eyes just to see you.” His voice was so soft and tender in those moments that you felt your heart squeeze in your chest. Your hands slid from his jaw to the back of his neck, fingers threading into the longer strands of his hair, and your nose brushed his, your heavy breaths hitting his face, your lips hovering over his.

“You don’t have to do that anymore…Never again.” You whispered, seeing the way he smiled up at you in the softest way possible. His eyes tilted down to your lips, like he’d been starving and suddenly found the one thing that could sustain his hunger.

”I’ve been dying to kiss you…Can I-.” You didn’t let him finish his sentence, and not once did you consider the people around you at this point, you were so blinded by happiness that you let yourself do what needed to be done. You just crushed your mouth to his. It wasn’t sweet. It wasn’t tender. It was the kind of kiss that unmade you, devoured you, dragged you under and remade you from the ashes. Your lips clashed together in a frenzy, months of silence, longing, and suffering crashing into one impossibly desperate moment. His hands were everywhere, your waist, your back, your jaw, pulling you in like he could fuse you to his skin. Your hands clawed into his hair, anchoring yourself to him, needing to feel every inch, needing to know he was really there.

Bucky groaned into your mouth, the sound guttural and raw. You gasped, and he took it as an invitation, deepening the kiss with bruising hunger. His teeth grazed your lower lip and you moaned, chasing him like you’d die if you stopped. It was messy, breathless, too hard and too soft all at once, but it was everything. It was home.

You didn’t even realize the way he was holding you until your lungs screamed for air and you finally broke apart. Your chest heaved, mouth open against his, breathing each other in like you were one another’s oxygen, noses brushing, foreheads resting together as his hands cradled your face like you were the most fragile, precious thing in the world.

A soft clearing of a throat cut through the haze like a needle popping a balloon.

You both turned your heads in unison to see Steve standing a respectful distance away, arms still crossed, with a smirk draped on his lips. He wasn’t hiding the amused glint in his eye, though, or the quiet warmth he had for the both of you.

“I hate to be that guy,” Steve said, eyes flicking between the two of you with that Captain America patience, “But you’re technically sitting in the middle of the landing pad.” Bucky groaned, leaning his forehead back against yours with a sigh that almost sounded like a laugh.

”Thanks for the heads-up, Steve.” He responded, before turning his attention back to you, your gaze locking back onto his, your heart still hammering in your chest as you reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind his ear.

”We should probably get you inside…Let you get your bearings and everything, maybe get you something to eat.” Bucky hummed, but didn’t make a move to unravel himself from you just yet, he just kept you against him for a second longer, before you leaned in one more time.

”We’ll pick up where we left off later tonight.” You whispered, watching as his eyes lit up at your words.

“Really?” He asked, voice low and hopeful. You kissed him once more, leaving it at a peck instead of letting it grow with intensity this time.

“You still have that private exhibit tour booked…With full access, remember?” You murmured, a smirk drawing up on your lips, winking at him a bit. He let out a soft laugh.

”God, you remembered that?” He questioned quietly, his cheeks heating up slightly as his arms unraveled from your waist so you could get up.

”I remember everything, ” You responded, holding your hand out to him, pulling him up to his feet, “And I’m looking forward to the cash in.” He smirked, giving you one last kiss before making your way off the landing pad wrapped up in each other’s warm embrace.

——————-

The team insisted on celebrating.

The moment Bucky was cleared by the med bay and had scarfed down a sandwich like he hadn’t eaten in days, Tony declared it a “welcome-the-hell-back party” and ordered enough food to feed an army. No one wanted to make him sit through anything formal or flashy, so it was takeout boxes, mismatched wine glasses, and laughter echoing through the Tower’s common room like nothing had changed.

You sat beside Bucky on the couch, thigh-to-thigh, the air thick with heat between the both of you. Everyone around you was relaxed, smiling, tossing jokes around like old times–it had been a while since everybody got together like this so the dynamic wasn’t anything short of unnatural.

Even throughout all of this, you were only able to focus on the quiet rhythm of Bucky’s breathing beside you, or the way his arms flexed against yours while he was eating his rice dish from the takeout container, or the way your body shifted every time his gaze lingered on you when you decided to chime in and make a comment of your own during a conversation.

You were trying to play it cool, but it was almost impossible when Bucky was in this state of admiration. You weren’t sure if people were noticing or choosing to ignore the very obvious signs, but they respected the idea of not acknowledging it just for tonight, especially with the context of the situation in general.

There was a low simmering ache of anticipation curling beneath your ribs, it wasn’t urgent, not yet at least. Not when the both of you knew how the night was going to end. The urgency would kick in behind closed doors, and that’s what you couldn’t wait for.

The night stretched on, and the conversations began to wind down. Sam was the first to call it a night, yawning exaggeratedly, and making a quick comment welcoming Bucky back, clapping him on the shoulder before leaving the common room.

Bruce left soon after, offering a small smile and a kind nod, taking a bottle of wine with him ‘for later.’ Natasha followed suit, shooting a lingering look to you, arching a brow at you with a quiet approval, cause she had been paying attention to both you and Bucky the entire night. She didn’t say anything, but the message was clear. Have fun, go make up for the lost time.

Tony and Clint wandered off to the roof together, talking about testing out some of his new glow in the dark arrows before heading to sleep. Then it was just Steve left, lingering near the kitchen island, nursing a drink. He let out a soft sigh.

”Well, I think I’m going to finish this off in my room.” He said, motioning to the glass, the ice clinking in the glass. The both of you glanced at him.

”Oh, okay, goodnight Steve.” You replied, a smile drawing up on your lips. He looked between the two of you one last time, a faint smile coming up on his face.

”Try not to break anything.” He joked, taking another sip of his drink before walking down the hallway, leaving your sight, the door to his quarters clicking shut moments later.

And just like that, it was only the two of you.

Instantly the room felt different, like the walls had closed in around you both, pressing you two together, drawing you closer. You turned to look at Bucky, not surprised he was already watching you, eyes soft but lust filled, his tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek like he was trying to keep himself in control. The dim lighting of the common room casted small yellowed shadows over the both of you, the silence settling within the space. You could feel your cheeks heat up as you stood up slowly, holding out a hand to him.

His fingers curled around yours with a quiet desire that you’d felt simmering beneath the surface all night. His grip was gentle as he stood up from the couch, letting you lead him out of the common room. You guided him down the hallway, you were the first door on the right, and you wasted no time pushing it open, dragging him in with you.

Before you could close the door yourself, Bucky’s hand shot out, slamming it shut with a force that rattled the frame, your back meeting it soon after. You gasped at how fast he moved, only to have your breath stolen when his mouth crashed against yours with the kind of hunger that only two months of separation could build. He wanted to taste every inch of you, as if he would disappear if he didn’t consume you whole right then and there.

You moaned into the kiss, fingers scrambling to find purchase, one going to his broad, thick shoulder, while the other sank into his hair tugging just enough to earn a guttural growl from him, his chest vibrating against yours. He caged you in against the door with his body, his hips pressing against yours, wanting to feel every part of you.

His vibranium hand slid along your waist, slipping beneath the sweater you were wearing, the coolness of it shocking the heat that saturated your skin. His touch made your knees weaken, a breathy sound escaping you as his mouth pulled off yours, carving out their own path down your jaw, straight to the tender spot just beneath your ear, sucking and biting along the sensitive skin, making his first mark on you, pulling back to watch it bloom a dark red, returning quickly to continue his descent down your throat. The scraping of his stubble along your flesh sent goosebumps along your body, a small gasp escaping you.

”God I missed you so much.” He whispered, his hot breath sticking to your skin, peppering a kiss along the column of your throat, his tongue slipping out to lick your pulse point, before sucking gently.

“Bucky,” You moaned, arching into him, your thighs already trembling, as he slid his knee between your legs, guiding them apart just enough for his body to nestle even closer to you, the friction causing your lashes to flutter. Your fingers curled in his hair as his mouth pressed hot, wet kisses on your neck until he reached the collar of your sweater, feeling the thick bulge in his pants pressing against your hip.

”Let’s move to the bed…” He murmured, lifting you up effortlessly, “You deserve more than the door.” He joked, earning a giggle from you, as he dropped you down onto the duvet that covered your mattress, immediately covering your body with his, settling between your thighs.

”Tell me what you want,” He said, pushing your hair away from your face with his vibranium hand, “Anything. I’ll give it to you.” You reached up to cup his cheek, your thumb stroking the stubble there.

”I just want you. I want you so fucking bad.” He nodded, leaning down to kiss you again, his tongue sweeping over yours, before sitting back on his knees to look at you, peeling his shirt off and throwing it to the side in one quick motion. You felt your jaw clench, your eyes roaming over the new scars that muddled his skin, your hands coming up instantly to touch them, the muscles beneath your fingers tensing up. You explored slowly, lovingly, like you were relearning the man you’d ached for every night he was gone. Your palms flattened over his chest, his heart hammering beneath your hands, and when you looked up at him again, Bucky’s expression had softened, his hands reaching to hold your wrists gently.

”Your turn.” He whispered, slowly pushing your hands off his stomach, and reaching for the hem of your sweater. You sat up to help him, pressing a soft kiss to his sternum, before raising your arms above your head, allowing him to pull the fabric off of you, throwing it to the side. You laid back down against the bed, looking up at him, watching as his eyes roamed over you like he hadn’t seen your body in years. His vibranium hand pressed to the curve of your waist, the cool temperature sending a shiver through your spine, while the other reached up to cup the underside of your breast through the soft, thin material of your bra.

”Cream…” He breathed, dragging his thumb over the trim that lined the cup “Of course you’d wear something soft and pretty like this.” He commented, feeling your nipple harden beneath his palm. You smirked at his comment, biting your lip as your cheeks heated up even more.

”Take it off for me.” He instructed softly, tracing small patterns along your waist with the tips of his cool vibranium fingers, watching you lean up and reach behind yourself, unclasping the bra slowly. You let the straps slip from your shoulders, before gently letting the cups fall away, revealing your breasts to him.

The second your bra hit the floor, Bucky’s hands were all over you, tracing over the scar that went between your chest, like it was his version of the sign of the cross, it was his way of showing you he wanted to let you in. His warm hand slipped to the side to cup one breast, his thumb brushing over the hardened peak of your nipple, as his vibranium hand mapped over the other one, spanning over the curve of it, squeezing gently.

”Jesus Christ…You’re so fucking perfect.” He whispered, your back arching into his hands instinctively, your eyes staying on his as he dipped his head down, closing his mouth around your nipple, sucking slow and deep, his tongue swirling and pressing against it with just enough pressure that it made your toes curl. Your fingers tangled into his hair instantly, pulling him closer to you, feeling the bulge in his pants grinding against your already soaking core.

“Bucky…” Was all that fell from your mouth, as he groaned against your skin, switching to the other breast, licking a long, warm stripe over the soft flesh, flicking his tongue across your nipple, then drawing it between his lips, giving it a gentle bite.

“You make the sweetest sounds.” He mumbled, his voice muffled by your breast. Your nails dug into his shoulders as he continued to alternate between breasts, blowing against the saliva that coated the skin so that he could overwhelm the sensations that crashed over you.

“You like when I touch you like this, huh?” You nodded quickly, breath stuttering with each little flick of his tongue.

”Yes…God yes, please d-don’t stop.” His mouth curled into a grin against your chest, as he began his descent down your body, licking down the scar, trailing over to your ribs, trying his best not to miss any skin that was exposed to him, wanting to paint the most worshipful path down your body.

”I won’t stop until you tell me to.” He whispered, kissing the soft swell of your stomach, his tongue dragging down past your navel, his stubble scratching against your skin as he stopped right above the waistband of your pants. You were already panting, your hips raising off the mattress ever so slightly, squirming beneath him, silently pleading for him to continue. Bucky looked up at you through his dark lashes.

”Can I take these off?” He asked, his fingers already curling under the waistband. You nodded instantly.

”Yes…Please.” You said breathlessly. He smiled up at you, tugging the fabric down slowly, dragging your panties along with them in one fluid motion, leaving you completely bare in front of him. He threw everything to the side, watching as your legs parted for him, his breath catching in his throat at the sight.

”Fuck…Y/N.” Was all he could manage to get out, as his gaze locked onto your soaked, glistening folds, “You’re already so fucking wet, and I haven’t even touched you properly yet.” He said, his hands sliding up your thighs, your body reacting to the lovely contrast they both provided, while he leaned down to press an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of your knee, moving higher with each one. He kissed all the way up until his mouth was just hovering over where you needed him the most, his hot breath causing your core to flutter around nothing.

Then he stepped back. You leaned up onto your elbows, confused at what he was doing, until he curled his arms under your knees and pulled you down the bed. You gasped loudly at the quick movement, feeling your thighs hanging off the mattress, while your ass was just teetering on the very edge. A small smile came up on his lips as he dropped to his knees in front of you, kneeling between your legs, his hands spreading you open gently.

”Look at you,” He whispered, his eyes drinking you in, “You’re dripping for me.” He kissed the inside of your thigh, biting down on the soft flesh to elicit a gasp from you, before leaning forward, licking you in one long, slow, indulgent stroke, lapping up the juices that already coated your folds. You let out a sharp gasp, your hips jerking slightly, as Bucky’s strong, muscular arms wrapped around your thighs, locking you in place as he devoured you.

His tongue circled your clit slowly, then flicked it with just enough pressure to make your thighs clench around his neck. He moaned into you, the vibration causing you to tremble beneath him.

“Fuck.” He murmured, “You taste so fucking good…” He added, moving back in to take your clit between his lips, sucking gently as his tongue began to trace lazy circles against it, his arms holding you open to him, rendering you completely helpless under his mouth. Your hips jerked against his face, but that only made him hold you tighter.

“You’re so fucking soft.” He praised, as your fingers reached down, threading into his thick hair, gripping tightly when he flattened his tongue against you, licking slow, unrelenting strokes over your clit, moaning into you, the vibration making your thighs close around his head.

You were panting now, completely exposed and at his mercy, and the way he looked up at you through his lashes while his tongue moved in the slow rhythm he found nearly broke you.

”I missed this so fucking much,” He whispered, kissing your clit softly “Missed the way you taste, the way you fall apart for me…God, I fucking just missed you.” He added, licking you again–deeper now, tongue sliding between your folds, pushing into your entrance briefly before he slipped a finger into you. Your breath hitched, as one of your hands slid out from his mane of hair, grabbing onto his vibranium arm.

”So fucking warm.” He groaned, adding a second finger, curling them inside you slowly, pressing against that little spot that made your legs buckle.

”Fuck Bucky, right there.” You moaned.

“I know sweetheart…Let me feel you hmm?” He rasped, his tongue returning to your clit, flicking in soft wet stroke, perfectly in rhythm with the way he fucked his fingers into you. You closed your eyes tightly, pushing his face into you even more, grinding up into his mouth as you started to lose control.

”Don’t stop, oh my god…Please don’t stop.” You begged, feeling him shake his head, not breaking his rhythm.

”I won’t.” He replied, voice thick with lust, as he shifted slightly, grabbing onto your hand, intertwining your fingers, your hips continuing to grind desperately against his face, seeking more.

”Bucky.” You sobbed, your voice totally wrecked between gasps.

“I know baby…I know.” His tongue returned to that devastating rhythm–press, flick, suck– perfectly in time with his fingers, which began to pick up speed, curling in just the right spot.

Everything inside you tightened, winding and coiling until everything snapped, as the pleasure bloomed so deep it hurt. Your thighs pressed around his head, your back arching off the bed, feeling your breath catching in your throat.

You came with a sharp, desperate cry, your body convulsing, clenching around his fingers as your orgasm crashed through you like a tidal wave. Your hand squeezed his, the other fisting into his hair, overwhelmed by the sheer force of it.

Bucky didn’t stop though, he moaned into you like your climax was his own, lapping up every single drop you gave him, dragging his tongue softly over your clit while you whimpered through the aftershocks.

“You’re so fuckinng beautiful when you come.” He whispered, finally lifting his head just enough to breathe. You glanced down at him, seeing how utterly wrecked he looked, his chin slick, lips glistening with your arousal, and his eyes heavy with need. He kissed the inside of your thigh, grounding you as you slowly came down from your high, his hand still holding onto yours tightly.

“Incredible.” He breathed, nipping at the sensitive flesh on the side of your knee, kissing the little mark gently, still looking up at you, his pupils blown wide, and shimmering. You let out a soft, shaky sigh, as your fingers drifted through his hair, combing the strands back away from his face, a small content hum escaping his throat, his lips pulling off your skin, another mark blooming along the flesh.

”Need me to get you some water before we continue?” He asked, slowly removing his fingers from you, shyly licking your arousal off of them, taking time with each one. You could feel your cheeks heat up at the sight, unraveling your hand from his hair.

”I think that would be a good idea.” Bucky smiled, placing one more kiss on the inside of your thigh, before standing up from his kneeling position, adjusting himself slightly to hide his erection, and wiping off his chin, attempting to conceal the evidence of what was happening inside the room.

“I’ll be right back, don’t move.” He joked, leaning over to give you a quick peck, allowing you to taste yourself on his lips.

”Trust me, I’m not going anywhere.” He smirked at your comment, pulling away quickly, sneaking out of the bedroom, leaving you completely alone. Your skin was humming where he kissed you, every inch of your body vibrating with the aftershocks that traveled through you. Slowly, you raised from the bed, shifting yourself up the mattress to slip under the covers, a low ache blooming between your thighs where he had worked you open so perfectly, where he had devoured your soul, still feeling the wet imprints of his mouth where he had kissed along your skin. You exhale shakily, settling against the pillow, waiting quietly in anticipation for the next moment you had him next to you.

The door creaked open softly, as Bucky slipped into the room again with two glasses of water in his hands. His hair stood up in all directions, cheeks still flushed a deep red, with a grin plastered on his lips noticing how plump they were from overworking you. He shuffled towards the bed, holding out the glass of water to you.

”Thanks,” You said, taking it from him, your heart flipping at the gesture, his fingers brushing against yours, giving you a nod, before stepping around to his side of the bed, avoiding the pile of clothes on the floor. He set his own glass down on the nightstand, turning to the side so the thick planes of his back were exposed to you, watching as he looked around your room, taking in all the little details that were plastered along the walls and the tops of your dressers. You took a sip of your water, feeling the coolness invade your chest, bringing you a temporary relief from the heat that burned through your flesh.

He continued to look around your room, staring at a small framed photo of you and Nat.

“That was my first mission back after I was released from the hospital.” You explained, putting the glass down on the bedside table.

”You look so different.” He responded, turning back to you, seeing you smirking.

”Well…People do change.” He let out a soft laugh, moving towards the top of the bed, slipping the duvet down the mattress, the cool air kissing up your legs, before slowly pushing the fabric of his pants down his thick, muscular thighs, stepping out of them one leg at a time. You felt your jaw tense, your eyes roaming over him with nothing but hunger. He stood in nothing but his black boxer briefs, the smooth fabric pulled tight across his hips, and there was no hiding the thick outline of his erection pressing against it, begging to be released from its confines. You felt your thighs clench together, just drinking him in like he was your choice of alcohol. His body looked like it had been carved from marble, and it was evident that he really was working out during the time he was away from you just by the difference in the way his skin stretched along the expanse of muscle.

Bucky blushed beneath your gaze as he slipped under the covers, the mattress creaking with the weight of him pressing down on it, as he turned onto his side to face you. For a moment, neither of you moved, you just absorbed each other's heat, eyes trailing over each other.

“So beautiful.” He murmured, reaching up to brush his fingers down your cheek, his thumb dragging across your bottom lip. You bit the tip gently, before taking his wrist into your hand, guiding down to rest on your bare hip, as you shifted closer to him, your leg instinctively lifting to curl over his waist, drawing your slick heat against the hard outline of his erection, wetting the fabric of his briefs.

“Jesus…You’re going to ruin me.” He whispered, resting his forehead against yours. You smiled softly, placing a gentle kiss on his lips, letting your fingertips roam over a scar that bisected his collarbone.

”Good, then we’ll be even.” He laughed under his breath, closing the space between you, kissing you with all the control he had left in his body. His lips moved against yours like he wanted to savor all of it, even though he knew he was going to have all the time in the world to do this a thousand times over.

His hand slid up from your hip, gliding along your ribs, feeling the indents of your scars, tracing them until he reached your throat, curling his hand around it. He didn’t squeeze, but the possessiveness of the gesture alone made your breath stutter, his palm resting flat against the skin as his thumb brushed over your pulse point, feeling it accelerating beneath his touch with each gentle stroke. He pulled away from the kiss, his shaky breath sticking against your wet lips, as his eyes locked onto yours with a heat so tender it made your chest ache.

”You’re mine…” He whispered, like a promise and prayer wrapped up into one statement, “I’m never going to leave you again…Not like I did in the alley.” You swallowed, your throat bobbing beneath his hand, as you reached up to hold his wrist.

”Even if you do…You’ll always find your way back…” You responded, breathless, feeling him gently squeeze your neck, surging forward to kiss you again, rolling his hips against you, the friction of the movements driving you mad in an instant, your arousal soaking into his briefs. You could feel his lips turning up against yours, satisfied with how wet you were still, so prepared. He pulled back, peppering kisses along your jaw.

”Bucky, please…Please I need you.” You whimpered, your hips arching up to meet the slow grind of his, writhing beneath him, your nails digging into his shoulder.

”I’ll give you everything you need.” He replied, feeling the sharp sting kissing his skin as you scratched down his back, hissing at the burn.

”Fuck,” He breathed, his hips stalling for a moment, looking down at you, “You’re gonna leave so many marks on me.” You tugged your bottom lip between your teeth.

”That’s the idea.” He let out a small laugh.

”Want me to carry around the evidence of our night? You think that’s hot?” You nodded.

”Just marking my territory.” Another laugh came out of him, his chest vibrating against yours.

“Touché I guess.” He responded, his lips brushing over yours again, before shifting slightly, creating a little space between the both of you so he could reach down with his free hand to push his briefs off himself, just enough to let his cock out from the dampened fabric, letting the weight of it settle against your soaked folds.

He didn’t move at first, staying still with his forehead pressed to yours, breathing heavily, the both of you exchanging air, like he knew the moment he started moving he would begin to unravel. His lips ghosted over yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth, exploring every crevice as you reached down, your fingers curling around the base of him, eliciting a groan that vibrated through your chest.

”Jesus Christ.” He rapsed, pulling away from your mouth, his eyes fluttering shut as you guided him through your arousal, teasing the tip along your entrance, “I can tell I’m not going to last.” He commented, trying to focus on anything but the sensation of your warmth pressing against the head of his erection, his thumb brushing over your pulse point again.

“I don’t even care…I just want to feel you inside me.” Those words alone almost made him cum right then and there, the desperation growing between the both of you, the craving of just wanting to be connected again. He didn’t need to waste anymore time.

His body trembled against yours as he angled his hips, nudging at your entrance, before slowly pushing in, feeling you stretching around him, your walls welcoming him back with the warmth that he missed. Your mouth fell open, gasping, your back arching off the mattress as he bottomed out in you, his hips meeting yours with a shuddering breath, stilling inside you.

”Fuck Y/N…You feel like home.” He moaned, kissing along your face, your eyes brimming with tears from the sheer closeness, from how right everything felt in those moments. You reached up blindly, needing to touch him, desperately attempting to anchor yourself. He caught your wrist with his vibranium hand, knowing exactly what you needed, as he threaded his fingers through yours, pinning the intertwined hands beside your head, using this as an opportunity to begin to move.

Each thrust was deliberate, angled perfectly within you so he could get as deep as possible, so he wouldn’t miss feeling a single spot. You could feel every inch of him dragging against your walls, his body molding to yours like there had never been space between you at all. His mouth stayed near yours, breathing you in, kissing you between moans, between whimpers, between the breathless begging. You were completely surrounded by him; his scent, his warmth, his breath panting against your lips. His hand stayed firm around your throat, never squeezing, just holding, just claiming.

“Look at me,” Bucky whispered, his hair tickling your face, voice cracking on the edge of a moan, “Need…Need to see you.” You opened your eyes slowly meeting the desperate irises that you had grown to love, seeing the completely wrecked look painted across all his features. His brows were furrowed, lips parted and swollen from crashing them against yours, and his skin was flushed red, with a sheen film of sweat. There was no disguising the desperation in his expression, as it mirrored your own, his hips bucking against you a little harder, still keeping his pace, dragging himself so deep that you whimpered his name like a prayer.

”Bucky…” You gasped, your voice breaking as tears welled in your eyes, “I missed you so fucking much.” You said, unable to stop yourself from reminding him how much you wanted him there with you for the past two months, your nails dragging along the muscles of his back with your free hand.

”I know Y/N…I dreamed of you every night…I’m…Fuck I’m so happy I’m back with you,” He breathed, his voice thick with emotion, his forehead pressing to yours again, lips trembling as he kissed the corner of your mouth, moaning when your walls clenched around him. He closed his eyes tightly, before leaning forward again to claim your lips with his.

The kiss wasn’t pretty, it was messy, soaking in need, with teeth clacking, and mouths parted wide, breaths intermingling together. You gasped into him as he rolled his hips again, and his own moan spilled into your mouth, long and low and unraveling. You could feel him shaking above you, his whole body trembling from the effort of keeping himself at the slow pace he was going, wanting to last, to savor you, to make up for every second he lost.

Your nails dragged hard along his back again, leaving a fresh trail of angry red lines across his skin, eliciting a groan as he pulled away from your lips.

”Fuck…” He choked, hips stuttering just slightly, chest heaving against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist, bringing him in even closer, impossibly close, clinging to him, his vibranium hand squeezing yours.

”I need all of you.” He nibbled softly on your jaw before kissing it, moving faster now, thrusting deep with each snap of his hip with a pace that nearly made you cry, his thumb pressing into your pulse with just a little bit of pressure, drawing out a soft gasp from you, watching your face, the way it contorted, your mouth dropping open to take in short breaths of air, nails still marking his back.

“Jesus…You’re my weakness.” The words fell out of his mouth, and you could feel your eyes shoot open, tears pooling in the corners, already blurring your vision, his pace slowing so he didn’t overwhelm you.

”Y-You really were in there?” He smiled at you, leaning down to kiss you gently, his hand leaving your throat to caress your cheek, his thumb brushing just beneath your eye, wiping away a stray tear.

“You tethered me to him…Even when he had taken over, and I was pushed into the dark…I could still hear your voice and feel you when you touched his chest.” He explained, his confession spilling into the space between your bodies while he rolled his hips against yours again, kissing away the salty tears that came down your cheeks, “Are you okay?” You nodded immediately.

”I’m just…I’m just relieved I wasn’t wrong.” He laughed a bit.

”Of course that’s what you are concerned about.” He murmured, kissing the side of your neck, as his hand gave yours a light squeeze before letting go, his other arm curling around your waist to angle you better against him, so the head of his erection grazed over the spot that made you writhe beneath him.

“Oh my fucking god Bucky.” You gasped, melting into another moan, your arms wrapping around his shoulders, your hips now rocking into his, rolling against his thrusts, meeting his hips, chasing your release with reckless abandon.

”I’ve got you…Always going to have you.” He whispered. Your walls clenching around him, a moan falling from his lips, losing himself to the feeling of you pulling him in. Then suddenly, his arms locked around your back, lifting you as he sat up, bringing you chest to chest with him, his cock still buried deep inside of you. You gasped at the new position, your thighs tightening around him, your bodies pressed so close it felt like your hearts were beating in tandem with one another. His mouth instantly peppering wet kisses along the tops of your breasts, your nails digging into his shoulders again at the sensation of his cock pressing against your cervix.

“Holy fuck,” You whimpered, clinging to him, as he thrusted up into you, hitting so deep that you nearly sobbed in ecstasy. The wet sound of your bodies moving together filled the air between the moans, the slick, obscene slap of skin against skin only adding to the fire burning behind your ribs. Your arms tightened around his neck, rocked against him, your hips meeting the frantic thrusts of his, your bodies colliding in that perfect mess of desperation and worship, your walls pulsing around him.

“I’m not gonna last.” He groaned, his voice totally wrecked, tracing up to your collarbone with his lips.

”Please don’t stop…” You gasped, grinding down against him harder, chasing every ounce of friction, “I need you to cum in me…I need all of it.” The begging was the thing that got him instantly. His head fell back with a strangled moan, hips bucking up wildly as he lost himself to the way your walls gripped him, the heat and slickness of you dragging him straight over the edge. You felt him twitch deep inside just a heartbeat before he cried out your name, and spilled into you with a moan that shook through every inch of his body.

The warmth of it hit you fast, thick and hot, coating your insides with every desperate pulse of his release. You gasped, your walls fluttering around him, still clenching as your own orgasm chased his, sending tremors through your limbs. The pressure built so sharp and blinding that you buried your face into his neck, crying out, and biting down, your body locking against his as the world tilted on its axis.

Bucky held you through it, his arms wrapped completely around you, one hand splaying on the small of your back while the other cradled your head. He didn’t stop pressing kisses to your skin even as both of you slumped forward, his cock still seated inside you, twitching with aftershocks, his spend already beginning to leak from your folds and drip down his length.

You both stayed still for a long time, panting, tangled up, sweat-slicked and trembling in each other’s arms.

“Wow.” You whispered into his neck, kissing against the bite mark you left on the tender flesh, your heartbeat finally steadying.

“That was…Amazing.” He murmured, his voice still rough from the aftermath of everything you just did. You smiled lazily at his words, your fingers tracing over the raised scratch marks that you had left on his back.

“We’re gonna be so sore tomorrow.” He let out a soft laugh at your comment, pulling back so he could press his forehead to yours.

”Definitely worth the soreness I think.” He replied, earning a nod of agreement from you. The both of you stayed wrapped around each other, too content to move, his hand tracing slow circles against your lower back.

Eventually, he shifted, pulling out slowly, a gasp escaping your throat from the unexpected emptiness you felt, as he laid you down on the mattress. Bucky’s hand lingered on your thigh for a moment, his thumb stroking the soft skin as he stared down at the mess between your legs–his release trickling from your pulsing core.

”I’ll be right back.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the inside of your knee. You gave him a small hum in response, too blissed out to form words, your body still tingling from your orgasm, the cool air brushing over your sweat-slicked skin. The mattress shifted as Bucky padded over to the en suite bathroom, turning the sink on. You listened closely, hearing the cabinet door creaking open, before closing soon after, then the water closed, hearing him return to you, crawling onto the bed beside you with a small wet towel.

”Let’s get you cleaned up hm?” You nodded gently, shifting just enough to let him ease your legs apart again, his large hand cradling the outside of your thigh with a tenderness that made your throat tighten. The towel was warm, damp and soft, and he moved so slowly–wiping the insides of your thighs, cleaning the sticky mess that had begun to cool against your skin. You watched him as he worked, his brows slightly furrowed, lips parted in quiet concentration. There was something utterly domestic about the moment, Bucky, post-orgasm, still flushed and damp, eyes gentle and full of something you could only describe as tenderness, carefully cleaning the mess he left behind.

“You okay?” He asked, glancing up at you with a little wrinkle in his brow, his hair falling in front of his face. You reached for him, brushing the damp strands off of his forehead with trembling fingers, your touch lingering on his temple before sliding down to cup his stubbly cheek.

”I’m more than okay.” You replied, a smile appearing on your lips, as he brought his free hand up to hold onto your wrist, turning his head to kiss your palm.

”Just making sure.” He breathed, giving you one last gentle swipe with the towel before double-checking for anything he might’ve missed.

Satisfied with his work, he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your hip, before shifting off the bed to put the towel into the appropriate basket. You let out a small sigh, turning onto your side, pulling the covers up to your neck. Bucky returned quietly, the soft padding of his bare feet barely audible against the floor. The room had settled into that perfect kind of silence, heavy with the warm afterglow and the calm that only came after something deeply intimate. You felt the mattress dip behind you as he climbed back into bed, his arm sliding around your waist instantly, pulling your back against his chest.

You let out a small, content sigh, your hand finding his forearm beneath the covers, bringing it up so you could hold it in front of you. His nose nudged against your ear, his hot breath sticking to your neck.

”I’m so grateful for you.” He whispered, kissing your shoulder gently, as his vibranium arm slid under your pillow, wrapping across your chest to pull you into him even more, so he could slot himself in the crook of your neck. Your body melted into his, your eyes fluttering shut as you traced your hand up his forearm.

”I’m grateful for you too, Bucky.” You replied, feeling his chest vibrate against your back as he hummed softly.

“Still can’t believe I’m here.” He said quietly, nuzzling his chin into your neck.

”You’re here, and you’re not going anywhere.” You responded sleepily.

”Not a fucking chance.” He shot back, laughing lightly against your skin. There was a pause between the both of you, one of those long cozy silences where nothing else had to be said. You felt safe for the first time since you two were separated, and your body was exhausted yet full of warmth, giving into the sleepiness that began to catch up to you from the countless nights you laid awake waiting for good news.

“Do you need to sleep on the floor?” You asked out of nowhere, your voice light and curious, as your fingers ran over the vibranium of his arm, right where it rested over your chest. Bucky snorted behind you.

”I think I’ll be okay as long as I’m beside you.” He grumbled, pressing into you more.

”You sure? I might snore…You might regret this decision really quickly.” You joked, feeling him shift behind you, leaning forward so he could see the smile that was already plastered on your face.

”First off…You never snore, and second…If you did, I’d take every snore, every blanket tug, and every toss and turn with pride…Just to fall asleep next to you like this.” You felt your cheeks heat up.

”You’re getting all poetic on me, Bucky.” He placed a gentle kiss on your warm cheek.

”Well, I guess you bring that out of me.” He commented, his fingers drawing absent circles over your skin, “Do you want me to turn the TV on for you, since we’re talking about our sleep traumas.” You shook your head.

”No, I think I’ll be okay…I’ve got a super soldier with a vibranium arm protecting me.” Bucky couldn’t help but let out a laugh at your response, the warmth of his breath sticking to your neck.

“Yeah, you’re right about that…Nobody would be getting through me.” He responded, pressing another kiss to your shoulder before letting the room slip into a quiet hush. Your breath evened out in time with his, tangled under the blankets, skin pressed to skin, surrounded by warmth and the soft scent of each other.

And as the last flickers of consciousness slipped away, you felt him kiss your hair one last time, a barely-there brush of his lips, promising you tomorrow, and the rest of his days.

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seventhcallisto · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter V — "just one."

Deep down.

Toc/cw; mdni!!!!!!!!! MATURE CONTENT!!! Fingering(f. Receiving x2) multiple orgasms, heat funk, yunho is a pleaser. Biting, Begging, & Big dick!yunho (duh). Mention of size difference, unprotected sex but don't worry men have unrealistic birth control(amen), cum eating(x2), knotting, slight overstim. Aftercare, cuddling, lots of kissing and fluff, yunho is a service dom omfg. Slight breeding kink if u squint. Joong is a little shitbird, joong teasing you, lots and lots of teasing. Breast worship. edging. Left Unfinished(m!(un)receiving). It's okay tho. Overwhelming tears from stimulus. ussy drunk. Cockadoodledo drunk. What else kinda drunk is there yknow. DONT READ IF UNCOMFORTABLE!! JUST BLOCK OR SKIP ☆ thank yew. Also, completely fiction.

pet names/nns; baby, omega, pretty girl, angel, _ girl (yours). Yun, alpha(yunho). Joong(hongjoong). Hwa(seonghwa).

Wc; 11.6k!! (I figured out how to wc r u proud?)

Yunhos friends have no clue why he left so abruptly, texts flood his messages and calls that immediately get put on hold, but besides that, he's too busy on the phone with you, ignoring all of them just to help you. He texted seonghwa as fast as he could when he was walking down the sidewalk. Surely all typos. Yet no response from the eldest member. His car is a silent buzz as he flows down the highway back to the apartment where he knows you are. He's glad he didn't drink, he was supposed to be the driver for the night, he's gonna have to apologize about that later. The heat in his fingertips dig into the cold steering wheel. When he tries to distract himself from the gasps and whispers you produce on the speaker of his phone- slotted into his cup holder.

Begging for him to be there, asking for him. Maybe he even ends up regretting going out at all. Truly, it was to distract himself from you. To get away from your scent and your words and everything in-between. He shoulda known in your heat it's not safe for you on the floor of your apartment complex. The last two floors are full of alphas and betas.

Omegas have their own section of building just for this reason. And yet he still thought it was safe to leave you at home with his other members who he knows will take care of you if anything, who are probably completely passed out and oblivious to your quickly arriving heat. You could easily slip out of your room and wake them up, could even leave the apartment and knock on the next door where many other alphas live. Who yunho assumes would gladly help poor omega you out.

You called him, though. Yunho feels obligated to take care of you like the alpha he should. He's with you, soul and spirit, dedicated to help you through this. Even if he isn't there in person yet. Yunho tries to even his breathing, even if for a moment.

"You still there omega?" He asks, you've been silent since you begged for him to be there with you. Since he said he was gonna take care of you. "Yes.. 'm still here alpha" your whisper is more of a whimper. And, holy shit. Yunho's pants feel tighter the way you say it. His finger flips his blinker on as he nears the exit.

“It- yunho-” the shuffle of you stuffed in your closet gets yunho's cogs moving again. “I know baby” it just slips. “You can wait, yeah?” his teeth pry on his bottom lip. Turning off the exit.

“No, i can't- it's too much” your cry makes him take a quick inhale. “Okay, okay” yunho knows the route to the apartment. He knows it very well in fact. He takes the shortcut. “I'll help you out as much as I can,” yunho's head falls to his seat. “I need you to lay on your back for me” he commands.

You shuffle to do so, pushing the phone as close to you as you can as if it will get Yunho closer. Yunho swallows the saliva in his mouth, gulping down his nerves.

“I need you to prep yourself, you can do that can't you?” he tells- no, he's asking you. Genuinely wanting you to answer him. Shuffling of fabric already tells him the answer, never in yunho's wildest dreams would he have had one of his life long fantasies come to life. Porn isn't the same when it's you, the bane of yunho's existence, doing exactly as he says.

Your fingers work diligently to peel off your pants- shorts- whatever and everything other than your shirt. Struggling in the confinement of your tiny closet and tiny nest. “Okay” you say into the speaker, panting heavily. Brain full of flowers and the scent of yunho under the amount of clothes you're sitting on top of. “I can do it”

Praise falls off the tip of the gray haired alpha’ tongue. Turning into the parking garage. You are in this building, so close, yet so far. Before Yunho hops out of his car, he picks up the bag he left earlier in the day from his back seat, stretching to grab it. He shoves his hand into the plastic bag to grab the small bottle. Just in case, he tells himself. The tall man pops open the lid after a few seconds of reading the label, dryly throwing back two sea blue colored pills. Birth control,(more like sperm control), two just in case. Yunho knows it's the fast acting kind- which the label said. For emergency purposes. This is definitely one of those emergencies.

Of course, the elevator rises very slowly. His fingers fiddle with his phone nervously pressed up against his ear. Your sighs and silent words make Yunho's pulse speed up.

The floors begin to level out, no longer in the parking lot, 1, 2, 3 and so forth. He counts every number, every level pass. Finally, It reaches your shared floor. Yunho doesn't even let the doors open fully, thankfully, your scent isn't in the hallway. So you must not have left your room since calling him. He pulls out his wallet, pushing through them for the keycard to the apartment. “I'm outside the apartment okay? I'm hanging up, I promise I'll be right there, I'm just outside” he hangs up before you have a chance to speak. He knows if he hadn't he might have forgotten about turning it off. Yunho isn't in the mood to have a dead phone because he left the call going.

As soon as he gets the door open, he isn't wasting time to take his jacket off. His shoes, though, get kicked off and left messily behind him. The door clicks shut, locking automatically. The apartment is void, no movement or sounds that meet yunho upon entering. Yunho takes quick strides to your bedroom door, the same scent from before becoming more powerful. More sweet and more alluring. He knocks gently, before pushing it open.

You're nowhere in sight, Yunho feels like a predator stalking your whereabouts when he enters your room. He hasn't been here for a while, he closes the door behind him, locking it with a click. He calls your name gently. Your messy head is the first thing that catches Yunho's eyes. Followed by you kicking the blanket off your feet in the closet, stumbling over to him.

You practically pounce into his embrace, curling your legs around his hips. He helps you the rest of the way, wrapping his arms around you to hold you up and grabbing your waist in his tight grasp. Yunho can feel the heat radiating off of you. He's lucky enough that he's still cold from the nightly weather outside. You are like a fireplace, steaming up on impact with his cold body.

You get as close as you can, shoving your face into his primary scent glands. Your heels digging into him to bring him further into you. Soft whining of his name as you swish your lips around his neck, pushing your scent out.

Yunho needs to take a deep breath. And assess what he's got to do. You're very obviously in an omega mindset, clinging to him like a lifeline. His hands slide up to hold your thighs, soft and pliable under his firm grip. You wiggle from the grasp.

“Did you prep?” he asks, swaying over to your bed, it's large enough to hold the two of you. You shake your head. “I need words, omega” he pulls your head from his shoulder, his knee hits your mattress. Still supporting you, Yunho slowly leans down to plant you on your bed, sitting on his knees between your legs. Watching your head fall over one of your pillows he swiftly slotted behind you. “No, I couldn't,” your pouty lips make Yunho mimic your face with his own smirky pout. “You need me to do it for you baby? Is that what you want?” Yunho unhooks your legs from his lean waist, holding your calves between his large hands. They almost wrap around them entirely.

He scans the way your chest falls with every breath, an oversized plain white shirt. And of course, no bra. Which yunho somehow knows you can only sleep comfortably without. Lastly, the shirt only rides up enough to see that you aren't wearing shorts. He can't torture you any longer, your eyes are begging, hands grasping at his jacket, hoping to tell him to take it off. He drops his hands from your calves to slot it off over his heavy shoulders. Sighing into your palm when you bring him back down and towards your lips.

You taste how you smell, only heavier. More heavenly to yunho. His tongue prides into your bottom lip. You slip it open to let him in, moaning into his mouth. His hands wonder, finding his way to your thighs and up, closest to where your hips jut out upon impact. Wet, Yunho sucks on your tongue when he pulls back, eliciting another strangled moan out of you that has him pulsing. “Yunho” you call out, whining. His fingers slide under the shirt and over your underwear, caressing your soft skin. “You need me here? is this where you want me?” he teases with his questions, drinking in your expressions. You nod eagerly. Yunho’s long digits pull the hem to the side to push his thin fingers through your folds. Watching you for a reaction with lidded eyes, biting back his lip. You preen, head falling back, hips twitching. He gathers the slick you produced, making sure to rub it around his two digits to lube them up up and down, poking and swirling around your clenching hole.

The tip of his middle finger prods into you, fully being embraced by your walls. Yunho's fingers are long and big, definitely bigger and longer than yours. His thumb angles up to rub into your sensitive bud, gathering slick on the way, slow calculated circles that have you writhing for more. Yunho's finger begins curling up into you, pressing against your soft gummy walls. Yunho didn't think he'd get to see you like this, get to feel you like this. “More, please, please alpha” you cry out, biting against the arm slotted over your face. And he obliged, pushing his pointer finger into you. It's an easy slip, thanks to your dripping core. Yunho moans quietly at the pulse of your heartbeat at his fingertips.

You're so unbelievably horny that you're pulsing for him. Muffling your whiney breaths. Yunho's fingers gain speed, slipping in and out to pry you open, to prep you. Bending and prodding that spot you keep jolting at. He finds it and abuses it as much as he can. Watching you unfold and get closer to your high. Just a bit more, he can tell you're already getting antsy. So horny it only takes a few strokes of his thin fingers to get you worked up close to your high.

“You feel so good baby” he whispers to just you. Just you. You mewl at the praise, pulling him back down for another heated kiss. More desperate and begging. You're softer than Yunho could ever imagine, wrapped around his fingers when he digs them into you, plying and squishing into your g spot. Your lip gets pulled up into yunhos when he sucks air into his lungs.

Yunhos got you so close, your leg pressed over his lean thigh that digs into the mattress under you. Watching the way his fingers disappear into you quickly. You're not hurting for a knot when he has his fingers buried to the hilt in you. If your mind wasn't foggy, you'd surely be savoring this. But you're still only thinking about needing something bigger, Yunho's knot. You gasp at the magma pooling in your stomach, looking to yunho. You're a jumble of words. Already messy from just his fingers.

Yunho catches this, his thumb hooking onto your clit and swirling. “Just one baby, then I'll give you what you want” he groans into his words, taking as much pleasure from this as you. His eyebrows pull taunt over his eyes, mouth lulled open from focus. “Come on omega, cum for me” he calls on, looking you in the eyes. Dark, cloudy, and full of lust.

The tension breaks, squeezing your thighs around yunho's hand. A silent whine, at the attack of your senses. One of the most weakening orgasms you've ever felt. Twitching at the thumb that Yunho keeps pacing you with. Overstimulating you the slightest. You couldn't get this kind of high from your own hands throughout your first heat. He presses soft gentle kisses to your face as you come down, slowing the movement of his hand. He sighs with you. Completely turned on.

The neediness for more is slowly returning, there's only so much one high can do for your faziness. You squirm when he begins pulling his fingers out, whining at the loss of feeling stuffed, underwear snapping back over your wet core. Yunho thinks it's not enough prep, but you can't wait any longer and he knows that. Before he pulls to sit up, he leans on his calves. Watching the way your slick trails down his hand, sticky and warm. He can't help himself, taking his fingers in between his lips, humming around the digits when he holds eye contact with you.

That's got you going again, whining for him, panting gently. “You taste amazing mega, so perfect” his eyes trace your features, his words making you melt into a puddle. He comes down to level with you, his knees once again slotting between yours, pushing up to bend you back over his thighs. He brings himself in this time, using his free hand to pull you onto his mouth. You moan at the taste of yourself, scrunching your face up into him.

Yunho's free hand pulls at your underwear, one frustrating tug halfway down your legs, fuck it. He pulls with a hard tug, snapping them off, he's not moving anymore to get them off. Tossing them to the side. The cold air makes you clench around nothing. Shifting closer to him. Yunho's tongue and mouth is like water in the desert. He draws you in with his palm against the scruff of your neck, you reach between you both. Needing to feel him.

Your fingertips skims the bulge of his jeans, he's big, big enough to stand out from the denim and leave an indent. So big, you're beginning to drool. He bucks away from your touch, moaning once under his breath as you pant against each other's lips. His hands reach to swat yours away, shushing your whimpers for the contact. “no touching, ‘M gonna take care of you omega, like I promised” he works on his belt, tossing it across the room. He decides his dark shirt is more important, pulling it straight up and over him.

Yunho's lean physique is beautiful. Almost shy under your eager eyes, he smiles down at you, shoving his shirt under the soaking spot on the bed, right under your bum he lifts so easily up. Your blankets are definitely gonna need cleaning. As soon as he's done helping ease the hurt, he'll get to fixing up your bed and making it comfortable. You let him do what he needs to, fiddling patiently, no touching.

No touching. Your feet curl in anticipation, wiggling at the command, the slow drip of your slick is beginning to pool down your center. Your thighs curl together at the feeling.“Yun- alpha” you whine, watching him undo his jean buttons and zip down his zipper. He looks up for a split second at your call, “i know, i hear you omega” he leans up to take your shirt off for you. Completely down to allow you to play pillow princess. He leaves a trail of gentle kisses down the center of your chest, memorizing your reaction and your breasts. Yunho is a fan, a big fan and he definitely will worship your tits when he gets the chance. He shoves his jeans down the rest of his knees. Despite being told no touching, you reach to help pull the rest of them off.

With some struggle on your part, huffing impatiently and tingling because of the ache fully coming back. Yunho kicks his tight jeans across your room, they land somewhere with a dull thud. His hands pull at your hips and turn you over to your side. You don't ask questions, letting him do what he wants with you. “You ready?” He asks looking up from your leaking hole, and well- you're so eager you think you've been begging this entire time. “Yes, alpha, m ready” You plead desperately. “you're doing great mega, so patient for me” the prod of yunho's hand as he spreads open your cheeks makes you gasp.

“Look, you're dripping all over” He chuckles, a first genuine and teasing chuckle, like he can't believe he's able to get you this wet. His wide and big hand keeps you spread open, holding your cheek up. As his other hand pulls back to grip his cock. He passes it between your leaking folds and glazes just over your clit. You buck, your head falling back. “Please please’ please put it in alpha-” you cry, wiggling and trying to push your hips towards him. Yunho shushes you quietly, his hand spread over your stomach to stop you. “Be good ‘mega, you'll wake the neighborhood” he hushes you with a tipped groan as you slick over him, he uses his free fingers to spread it over him as much as he can patiently. Prodding the tip into you.

Groans of curse words slip off Yunho's tongue. Only an inch in. He's not even fully in you, yet he can already feel your weeping hole squeezing him in a death grip, attempting to adjust to his size even though he's only pushed the smallest bit of him inside you. Yunho didn't think he'd fit at all. He pushes your leg closest to his chest farther up, spreading you open wider for a better angle. Your pants and moans, and sticky skin makes Yunho painfully impatient. Inch by inch, he pushes in slowly in case the stretch is too much for you. Holding your thigh in his large palm so you can't jolt away. Breathy groans he lets out are much quieter than yours. Yunho slides himself the rest of the way in with a single thrust of his hips. His eyes fluttered at the clench. Almost painfully tight around him, it's more than he could ever imagine, the daydreams are nothing compared to the real thing that's your needy cunt. He ruts up once by accident, eagerly needing to feel your squishy walls wrapped around him all along his length. He praises you for taking it, panting into his words. “mega, you’re so perfect- Auh– fuck- you fit me in so well. so good for me.” he pulls your thigh against his chest, sandwiching closer to you, he's so vulgar, yunho hardly ever curses around you, but the way you have him has him letting loose. his hand trails a sweaty pattern against your thigh as he rubs it up and down soothingly.

Your greedy gasp and shuddered body being so full fills you with delight, his tip presses the deepest part of your silky walls that has you seeing stars. You're vocal but so silently about it, the stretch of yunho's cock should be impossible, you know alpha cocks are huge- but this is not what you imagined, yunho is completely different. Your gasps of pleas whisper towards Yunho in your dark bedroom. He can still somehow make out your face from the city lights shining through your curtains. Full of pleasure, tortured pleasure, he loves the faces you make, so pretty and so tortured as he helps you adjust to his length. You pull his arm as close as you can get it, tiny hand wrapping across his wrist, wanting him closer. He bends down over you, squishing you into the mattress with his much larger body, the angle makes your clit jump from the squeeze of the push of pressing against each other. He captures your lips in a cut off moan, trailing sloppy kisses down your jaw. He rocks his hips once, then twice to check if you’re good enough to go, groaning at the tantalizing dig. Yunho might have almost came from just being inside you, you're so perfect, he's starting to think you've ruined him for anyone else. You keenly twitch, mewling into his ear. His tip is already hitting your cervix, how big is he? His hand finds purchase next to your head. Bending the mattress.

Yunho's eyes are like obsidian, boring into your own, his silver-gray hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, soft swipes of his tongue poking out to wet his lip. His fingers searching for your free and loose hands to wrap your hand in his own. The first snap of Yunho's digging hips has you blinking back overwhelmed tears. He begins to set a pace, fluttering his eyes at the feeling encompassed by you. Given by you. Jaw falling slack as he pants out. You whine his name, melding perfectly against his big form. Yunho pushes in more than he pulls out, snapping his hips towards your own in steady deep movement.

“More, more- please, yun-” you beg so nicely yunho has a hard time not fulfilling your request. His smooth lips press into your forehead, his hips smacking into your own in big thrusts when he speeds up. He pulls your leg over his shoulder, the bend is imaginable. You're not that flexible, but yunho will make you. His fingers unlatch from your interlaced hands, tracing down your body- his pointer and middle finger swirl around your clit, you twitch and writhe at the sensation, pelvis pulling back at the added pressure. Gasping and moaning out so much so your head begins to dig into the space between your pillows. Hair astray. Yunho wants to memorize this to heart, your sweaty face full of pleasure, jaw slack. Pretty moans- when he's away by himself he wants this to be what he thinks back to. And how you called to him in the night to make you feel this good, to do you this good. He bites on his bottom lip, his darker eyes boring into the joint section between the two of you. The suction has him biting back the need to pop right there.

Yunho is a diligent lover, he craves touch and affection during sex and he's definitely using this as his opportunity to get it from you, not that you mind at all, you preen at any affection the alpha will show you. His other hand, not holding your own, leans heavily into the pillow next to you, flexing his biceps and muscles that appeared from years of hard work. Your free hand grabs on, scratching and anchoring yourself to him. “how're you feeling ‘mega? I- fuck- i told you I'd take care of you- so good for me, so- shit- warm” He asks between heavy pants, his hips stuttering against you, pushing you harder and harder into the mattress. More and more like you want. Even when filling you completely to the brim with his big dick he's still only asking about you. You're cockdrunk, almost so close to the verge, even though Yunho isn't rough and completely pouding you, his cock is enough to satiate that neediness for something to break you. A line is forming on your brows, your stomach beginning to knot from the way he pounds and works his fingers over your bundle of nerves.

Yunho's pace is heavy, digging into your core and pushing your hip into your stomach, the pressure building up and rubbing at the perfect angle that has you arching into him. “alpha, Yun, ah- good, feel soso good, don't stop- please-'' You're begging for who knows what, yunho definitely knows he isn't gonna stop. The slap of sticky skin collects in your dim bedroom, the smell of yours and yunho's scents mixing. Your sweet dew and vanilla under the woody scent yunho always has, collides. The coil in your stomach is tightening and so deliciously close to breaking. Yunho can feel it, the clench of your walls around his cock has him burying to the hilt with every thrust and push “you want me inside baby? Need my knot?” he asks between heavy pants and grunts, you nod sloppily, spewing words. His knot begins to grow at the base of his cock. And maybe he even imagines that he didn't take that BC earlier. That his cum will take, and his knot will drive you crazy enough to ask him to mate you for life and give you so much more.

“yes, inside please, I'm close, mclose so close ahh- yun-'' your mouth falls slack, pulses of white flash through your brain at the stimulus, yunho tips over the edge with you as your cunt flutters around him. His knot fully ties itself into your womb, hot spurts of cum, leaking from his tip as your name falls out. Yunho, as if on instinct, fang sharp-teeth pop open. He bites on your shoulder, knowing he can't mark you, can't mate you as his- yet, just not yet. When you reciprocate with a bite so close to his primary glands, his hips jut up into you, pushing his cock even deeper if possible. You twitch and shake as your orgasm begins to wash away, twitching some more at the overstimulation of yunho's length pulsing the last few spurts into you, warm and hot and so so much of it- so much so it is already creating a white base around the joint area between you two. His knot doesn't stop growing until he's panting by your head, kissing your sweaty skin so softly. You lean into his touch, preening at the affection with closed eyes. Your pants are heavier compared to his, somehow yunho isn't breathing as hard as you.

He slides down next to you, the tug of his knot still connected. He cups you close, stomach to back. Yunho definitely prefers spending his night like this instead, helping you through your heat and first couple of weakening orgasms. He knows some if not a good amount about omega gender, thanks to you- he did the research. He's glad he did, he knows you'll be spent- but if he asked, you'd be willing to go for more rounds. And he'd be happy to do so to satiate your needs. But you are still in the beginning of the haze, you can only take so much for your first heat with someone else and not completely pass out.

Moments of breathing in air and time in the earliest of morning. Yunho is your first, not overall- but heat wise. He's got to take pride in that. And he does, your duvet is buried under you and Yunho's dark shirt has cum splotches so he can't throw any of it onto you to cover you both comfortably. Your foggy brain must be subsiding by now and for some reason yunho feels shy being so naked even though he drilled you into your mattress and left you dazed after two orgasms. Your head pushes back against his shoulder, looking up at him. He catches your eyes, the smallest of smiles at your fucked out face. “Hi baby” he whispers in the dark, rubbing his free hand against your chin. Your eyes blink up tiredly from his warm touch.

“Hi yun” you smile, looking at the way Yunho's silver hair falls over his forehead in waves, his other arm and hand propping his head up. His eyes fall over your lips, smiling down, he leans into you to capture your swollen lips with his own pink ones. The post haze of orgasms washes away. But the heaviness of Yunho's knot pulses once more. You twitch, pulling away from his lips. The knot is tied so tightly to you, it makes you feel as though you're still stuffed. And you are. Yunho's cum is buried in you so deeply thanks to his knot and his cock that it makes your heart skip with appreciation. You never thought going commando would be so good, never thought a knot so deeply in you would make you feel even better. Is this what you were missing out as a beta? Yunho's hand finds its way over your stomach, pushing down on the bulge ever so slightly that has you whining and digging your hips back into him. “You did so well, took me so well” he whispers, pecking your neck with a singular kiss. The ache subsided, even if for a moment. Yet you clench at his words.

You know what happened, you remember everything that happened. Other than yunho smelling like he was at a bar and grill before you pounced. Did you steal him away from something? You turn your head to look at him. Smoothing your finger over his overgrown sideburn. His eyes scan your face, observing your nakedness in the dark. “Where were you?” You ask, whispering to him. He inhales softly, the fan of his breath cooling the sweat from your face. “I was getting some food and drinks with friends” he answers earnestly, rubbing soft circles into your hip. He still doesn't pull out of you, his knot so close to dissipating. Chest bumping against your back as he breaths.

“I'm supposed to drive them home” he chuckles airily, knowing the way you're gonna react before he even says it. “it's okay though, there was another designated driver” he reassures your worries. Taking them off your shoulders. You turn your head back into the pillow, reaching down to lock your hands in his. It's intimate and risky, but yunho doesn't pull away and you're thankful. “Your friends are going to hate me” you pout. He leans up. Left hand falling over the otherside of you. “No they don't- they won't either” he skims a soft kiss over the bite mark he left. Red and deep.

Good thing you don't have any more photos to take any time soon. A week should heal that up if he keeps his teeth to himself the entire time. Your pout becomes a shy smile because of his affection. The prettiest of smiles yunho adores. He peppers kisses down your arm and shoulder, basking in the way goosebumps raise to the surface of your skin. It feels like a honeymoon phase, yunho has always worn condoms, but never has he let his knot dig into someone before, you get his first time without a condom- and his knot. He feels so warm and he knows it's because he loves you and he has his connection to you still inside. It's triggering some primal urge in him to be lovesick. You hum through your smile quietly. Soundlessly falling back into silence. Your fingers prying and bumping against yunhos when you breathe, caressing the veins and length of his digits compared to yours. His right arm is under you but he doesn't care. He wants to be crushed by you, even if you aren't at all heavy. Your locked fingers pulled over your stomach as he anchored them there, fingertips feeling so very comfortable pressed against you.

Yunho begins to pull out, ever so gently. He pats your hip beforehand as a warning. You scrunch up at the loss as soon as he's fully out, missing the way you felt full. You whine for Yunho when he begins to tug away from you, unlatching your fingers. “I got to get you cleaned up” he reassures, kissing against your jaw facing away from him. His lean body is pulled away from you, suddenly making his spot behind you cold. He shoves his briefs on. But before he goes he opens the closest window to air out the scent of sex in the air. Afterwards, he walks to your adjacent door. Sadly, you have to share a bathroom. He peeps his head out your door, looking into the hallway. Back and forth.

He turns back to look at you, smiling gently. “I'll be right back okay?” He whispers loud enough for you to hear. You curl up into yourself, holding a hand between your thighs to prevent any leakage. It doesn't work well. “Hurry, please” you whisper back. Yunho bites his lip, looking you up and down once more. He pulls away, closing your door behind him ever so quietly.

In the silence of your bedroom, your head falls back against your pillow, the pulsing ache no longer activating in your stomach. Maybe a knot does satiate the need for more after a while. You're surely tired though because you slept terribly and are still needy for affection. Yunho's words wrap around your mind, you try to plug your fingers against the cum beginning to drip out. It's as helpful as it seems. You wait a minute longer, then two, then three. Beginning to twist your ankle in anticipation.

You sit up before Yunho comes back in, clothing thrown over his right arm and a single blanket, a deep gray towel and a water bottle in his left. Black sweatpants hang off his hips, this time his loose shirt is white. “up” he beckons you up to the headboard of your bed. When you scoot up to readjust he pulls off your duvet, leaving your almost spotless sheet under you. Sitting down on the edge of your feet, your hand withholds the liquid in you as you lay on your back, head propped up against the pillows yunho laid out for you, sitting up slightly.

He hands you a water bottle after pouring some of it onto the towel. Urging you to drink it, his free hand prys your wrist away from your sopping core. Suckling a harsh hum at the pour of yours and his cum leaking out. The towel scraping up against your cunt makes you sensitive, thighs tensing and hissing away. He acknowledges it, kissing the top of your propped knee and pulling you back. Gauging your reaction with every swipe of the towel to make you the least uncomfortable he can. It makes your heart swell. Hiding your smile behind a chug of water. He's gentle with his care, checking your thighs for any more residue.

When he's done he plants the towel and his soiled shirt in your laundry basket propped next to your door. As much as he hates taking his scent off of you. You will get sticky and uncomfortable with it plugged into you all night. He might come back for his nasty shirt later though. He wipes your dirty hand away, kissing your fingers softly as soon as he's done. Your heart skips.

“Better?” he asks as you hand your water to him, he places it on your dresser. You nod, still naked. He almost forgot. A light gray shirt yunho keeps around -that you know is pretty expensive- gets pulled over your head easily. It's big, just as big as Yunho, maybe even more. It smells like his cologne, and his scent of citrus and vanilla, heavy. The masculine smell of sandalwood is the most prominent. You breathe him in, missing the scent he produced during your intimate moment. Next he's slipping you into a matching gray pair of his briefs, they're a bit big, but it doesn't matter to you.

You're so grateful for the attention Yunho is giving you. He doesn't need to be gentle, but he is anyway, and it's making you feel all the more soft and so head over heels. You pull Yunho close as soon as he's done. Head slotting into his pale neck. You trail kisses against your own mark you left on him, kissing more heavily on the bite you left, nuzzling your nose into him. He sighs dreamily, a long arm wrapping against your back. His knee falls to kneel onto the bed, laying half over you gently. Consuming you with his scent and body. He prefers it like this, when you're completely full of him and smell like him. Tiredly begging for his touch after he already gave you everything you wanted. You wiggle to get comfortable, locking your leg over his hip. Whilst his leg slots between your legs. He kisses the top of your head. Rubbing soothing pats against your back. As his other hand reaches for the blanket he brought in. White and thin with crochet patterns, definitely taken from the end of his bed.

Easily, he pulls it over the two of you. Comfortable and surrounded by yunho. Your head isn't sweating thanks to the breeze from the window. Any sweat you had cooled along with the water he gave you. So sweetly, taking care of you and even cuddling you. How are you so lucky right now? You couldn't ask for a better second heat phase.

“Thank you” you mumble against Yunho's neck. You feel the shuffle of his gray hair press against the side of your head when he turns. “Don't thank me” he huffs into a grin. His palm coming up to caress against your shoulder. If it's unconscious, you don't know. But his hand lands directly over the bite he left. Your eyes slink, closing down thanks to the lullaby of Yunho's heart beat and soft breaths.

In the silence of the early morning, one of your many daydreams comes true, buried under yunho and everything that smells like him. Yunho, just prefers you, your soft and squishy skin against his. His fingers slip under the collar of his shirt.

“I love you” he whispers the quietest, just as your mind begins to drift. You whisper back, slurring. “love you more” you don't care if it's early, or if he's just saying it after such an intense night together. You don't even know if he's just saying it in an affectionate way. But you mean it when you say it, I love you more, cause you do. Yunho has you whipped around his finger after knowing he can take care of you even after you already had the biggest crush on him before. The best is him afterwards, sticking by your side.

It's more than a year back, your dream blending into a memory. You're presenting at an award show, gladly introducing artists. Preppy voice loud and simple to suck the crowd in. In the prettiest of pastel outfits some snooty stylist gave you to wear. You know behind the screen out there your boys are cheering you on. And it keeps you grounded. Despite being on TV the most nerve-racking thing is your ex. Who's also a host, they don't know though. You guys kept it wrapped under the media for about a month before he was caught cheating on you with another popular idol. Not cheating to the media though, they assumed those two were together, but you were devastated for a week nonetheless.

You wonder why you even liked him in the first place. He's cute, funny, complicated, and talented. An omega, which you didn't care about. But his attitude was that of a spoiled brat who always gets what he wants. Maybe you thought that was really cute, when he would beg you for pda when he knew you were private, and when you would say yes, he'd accuse you of trying to expose the secret. It reminds you of someone else now, a less bratty and less annoying guy, who doesn't give a fuck about pda and will show you off at any chance because he likes to tease you. Somehow, that relationship never raised suspicion.

Your ex is a fairly popular guy, more so than you. Your group was still rising to some. And his group was popular from the get-go. Thanks to one of the big ents. Your trainee days got you a spot here, he recommended you, leading to you two seeing each other often, then soon dating. You got the opportunity before he cheated. You never understood why, but you weren't gonna give up just because he was going to show up. No way. You stand tall and proud, gleaming for the screen as does your ex who continues to scoot closer every camera shot.

You try your best to ignore him when you're on ad break, getting your makeup reapplied. “Can we talk?” He asks over the bustling makeup artists, you're thankful they're shielding you from him. “No,” you huff. “I'm getting my touch up done, please leave” you say as politely as you can. Honorifics and all. He grimaces. Stepping closer.

“I'm sorry-” you sigh at what's to come. Another sob story, another lie. You're not some silly girl, you're mature, you're an adult. You know the signs. And you know cheaters can change, yes, but something tells you he won't. You taught yourself to follow your gut feelings. And now, you still will. “No, you're not sorry, you're guilty you got caught. You’re sorry because you got caught, you're not sorry to me at all.” even though it was just a month, you took your time doing everything for him in it. First relationships always move fast. You risked that with him, leading him through his first time with you as a couple.

You took the reins and he abused that. His eyes well with crocodile tears. Before you can speak once again, his sorrowful eyes land on a figure looming behind you. Scowling, his tears seem to dry up quickly as if they were just for show. “Great” he laughs angrily. You're so very confused but when a large hand lands on your shoulder, you know exactly who it is. The whiff of vanilla and sandalwood following.

“Yun” you greet, a soft realization that he came to see you, your soft, smiley, extremely taller member came to watch you. And he knows exactly who the fool in front of you is, Yunho's black hair falls perfectly over his forehead as he scales your ex up and down, the tiniest of a forced grin on his taunt lips. “Hey, I didn't know you were working as a host” yunho is older than your ex, and he doesn't greet him as a friend. Nor does he acknowledge the tears. Honorifics that sound like venom falling from the pretty tip of his tongue.

Your ex doesn't bother to bow his head either, sticking up to your older group member. “I got her the job” he scoffs slightly into his words, shifting on his feet. Looking anywhere else except for the tall man's eyes. You feel completely squashed and kind of embarrassed from this interaction. Your ex is still trying to keep up a brave face under his extremely pink eyebrows. “Really?” Yunho looks back down at you, the smallest of smiles, but genuine. He squeezes your shoulder softly, glancing between your eyes mischievously. “Then I'm sure she'll be the best, she might end up being better than you” he chuckles, meanly, yunho is hardly ever mean. You can't help the snort of laughter falling out of your nose. You don't regret it. Your exes eyes twitch, not a single word. He storms off and bumps shoulders with yunho. Like a child, he stomps away.

You turn to Yunho, and notice you're both grinning. Soon a fit of laughter erupts from your throat and his. It's short lived. His hand falls off your shoulder, you miss the weight of his heavy hand. He takes a seat against the vanity, the light from the bulbs showcases his figure. Lean and tall, taking up the space with his big figure. You have to advert your eyes from staring. When he turns his head back to you. Even though you're done with your touch up, you can't seem to stand up out of your chair and move on.

Yunho's foot nudges your ankle, calling for your attention. You look up, crossing your arms subconsciously and force out a smile the best you can. The most naturally you can. “Are you okay?” His eyebrows crease in worry, his head lowering so you know he isn't demanding you to answer him. You clear your throat, shifting in the luxurious white chair. “Yeah, he sucks..” you laugh. Trying not to let it affect you. Trying. Is the key word. Your teeth wiggle your bottom lip, falling back into thought. Yunho ever so keenly notices your behavior. Squatting down in front of you. You jolt, leaning up to see what he's doing, before you can ask, he's tugging your shoe into his lap. Tying the laces delicately between his thin and long fingers. He never looks up, even as you try to tug away. “I'm not a kid” you huff, shaking your head at the thought of Yunho Bending his own extremely expensive pants to tie your shoe. You can hear the smile in his voice as he talks, “then how come you always forget?” When he finishes, he looks up. His hand unknowingly caresses the back of your ankle and calf.

You take a breath, fiddling your fingers together. “Forget what?” he laughs. Placing your foot back on the ground to check your other shoe. “Forget to tie your shoes” you gawk, “no I don't-” you attempt to pull your foot back, his fingers latch around your ankle. Smiling back up at you. Even though he's real, he looks unreal smiling up at you like some prince sliding your glass slipper on. “Yes, you do, remember during practice you used to always wear velcro shoes? Bet you didn't think I'd remember that-” “you remember what shoes I wore years ago?-” “you never wore laces, and when you did. I had to break formation to catch you when you'd trip over them." His breathy laugh has you smiling shamelessly.

“Honestly, it's like you were hoping I'd catch you” his finger comes up to push the hair out of his eyes, straightening out his bangs. He looks up at you from under them. Teeth on display thanks to his pretty smile. You fumble to say something. “no, I was just bad at taking care of my shoes,” you laugh, scratching at your eyebrow. Nice save. Knowing in reality he wasn't far off, or that most of the time you wore the same pair of velcro shoes for every practice. And when you began noticing they were gross compared to your members whose shoes seemed much better than yours, you'd exchange them for one of your other laced sneakers. Ashamed of the peeling fabric and the staining, and he was right, you were always bad at tying them properly.

“At Least you were there to catch me” you smile, watching him stand up to his full height. Shyly smiling back, as he looked away. “I'd always catch you,” his voice echos. Your dream-like fog begins to dissipate as the memory ends.

You wake up with your thighs stinging as if you just worked out your quads for an hour. Feeling like jelly and still tired. Atleast you're not still needy for a knot, whatever yunho did last night really dimmed down your heat. Or was it still too early for you to be in full bloom? The morning sun beams rays along your face and bed, waking you from your sleep. The only warmth you feel comes from your spot alone, and when you begin shifting around in your bed tangling out of the white blanket. You notice the bigger body you fell asleep next to isn't there anymore. Whining into the air sadly at the feeling of loss in your chest. Did yunho leave?

No, the running of water across the hall from your door catches your attention. The door which is now open is cracked almost all the way, you wait and watch. Jongho passes, too busy talking to the person behind him to notice you're awake. Mingi, equally distracted mumbles poutily to jongho whos harshly whispering in front of him. You’re too tired to move, and way too sluggish for things to register, just hoping to see yunho pass through the door. Quiet whispers flow down the hallway and meet your ears, cluttering of kitchen appliances and the beeping of the rice cooker makes you remember how easy it is to get lost in the morning buzz of the apartment.

Yunhos hand slots in from the corner of your eyes, he's still turned over his shoulder, talking to someone, wearing the same clothing from last night. Mumbles of whispers and discussion hanging in the air until his eyes flash back to you. Out of the spot he left you in and scratching at your shoulder. The indent of yunho's bite beginning to scab over. As if you hold the universe, yunhos shocked face makes you look up at him full of questions. His neck bobs as he swallows harshly, turning his head back to the figure just out of sight.

When he's done speaking he walks back into your room, and as soon as he reaches the end of the bed his hand greedily reaches over to smooth his palm against your waist, pulling you into his side with a gentle tug. You groan at the ache in your hips from the shift. Yunho apologetically smiles. Bare face on display from the sun. “Hey, how are you feeling?” he leans his palm against the pillow, half of his body leaning over you whilst he drapes his leg off the bed.

You watch his bare face and plump lips pull into a nervous grin. Needy, so needy. He's so pretty, so bare and so attentive. His hand fiddles with the edge of the shirt he gave you. The caress of his fingers there is so docile, like it's meant to be there. “I'm good” you sigh out, reaching for his waist to hold him. “sore,” you grin shyly. He huffs a laugh, “I know.. d'you need anything?” he lips fall open at the end of his question. You really can't help it, not when yunho is drawing you in and making you feel so special. “A kiss?” You speak clearly, just to him, looking up hopefully through parted lashes. Yunhos grin spreads, red tint rising to his ears. He doesn't have to say anything, his eyes fall over your mouth, folding himself down to plant the smooth taste of his minty toothpaste on your own lips.

He pulls back because of his wide smile, too giddy to keep going. You laugh “stop smiling, I'm trying to kiss you” your hand catches his cheek, awkwardly leaning up into him. “No, you” he snickers, his larger palm reaching your own cheek. He pet's his thumb across your lip, pecking you once again. Then once more. He pulls back before you go in for a third. Teasing you with a cheeky grin. “you have to eat something” he nods, but before he can get up and leave. You're reaching for the pocket of his sweats. Whining, pouting. “Don't go” you huff, laying your head back down on the pillows.

“I'll get hongjoong, okay?” He leans down to pick up your hand, kissing your knuckles. The mention of your captain, your other member- who you still don't know is okay with you calling him your boyfriend- makes you nod. You miss joong, even though he hasn't gone anywhere. He was sleeping. You crave the attention as soon as it's gone with yunho.

Slumped against the bed, you toss to lay on your back, pushing your messy-sweaty hair away. For a few seconds your eyes lazily pull back down, thighs squishing together. The click of your door shutting and the bed dipping has you jolting, coming back from your thoughts. Hongjoong is too occupied shuffling under the blanket to notice your face. And when he does, he's smiling ear to ear at the proximity of you. His hair is a mess, wearing a crochet purple crew neck that's too baggy, a pair of comfy black sweats. Much more dressed and put together than you at the moment. If he smells yunho on you, he must not care. His fingers thread through the back of your hair. Pulling your face into his so he can place giddy kisses all around your cheeks, nose, jaw. Everywhere.

Your lips pull back into a smile, giggling at the way he tickles your face with preppy kisses. His nose scrunches, loving the sound of your laugh. He lays a final deep kiss on your lips, one full of yearning and attention, and everything hongjoong is and more, missing the way you kiss up into him. “I missed you” you simply say when he pulls back. His eyes shift between yours. “I missed you more pretty girl” he sighs, rubbing his thumbs against your cheeks. Messy brown hair clouding around his eyes. He lays his head down comfortably on the pillow next to you, threading his fingers around your back to pull you closer.

“Did yunho take care of you?” his hand falls over your hip, rubbing patterns with the tip of his pointer finger. You nod, biting your lip. Memories of last night, flood you. Hongjoong hums softly, his soft dark eyes tracing your features. “he's a good alpha, ‘m proud of him.. You’re not too sore?” he smiles, a certain bite to his tone. You do as well, giddiness building in your stomach. “No, not too much” you nod, pushing your neck towards him, presenting your most sensitive spot. Docile, so docile. Hongjoongs lips fall there, kissing soothingly. “You did good ‘mega. Took yunho so well didn't you.” He whispers straight to you. Heavy lipped and nipping by your scent gland. You whimper and just like that you're a puddle in hongjoongs hands. He sits up to slot his hips between your own, pressing his weight down onto you.

“Be quiet for me okay? Can't have you telling everyone what we're doing”

The bulge of hongjoong in his loose pants has you gasping when it grinds over your clothed cunt. He pulls away from your neck after attacking it with suckling kisses and nips that'll turn into hickey's. Admiring his work. He grins. “So pretty” he sits back on his knees, the blanket leaves with him, leaving you unprotected. Your greedy hands reach up to grab him, stop him from staring down at you with his prying eyes, and when he captures them, interlocking your hands between his own to hold close to his chest, he leans forward and you take his plump lips between your own, biting on his bottom lip in appreciation from the plump of it. He sighs into your mouth, his hands parting from yours and digging down into your hips, lifting the hem of yunhos large shirt to trail his hot hands under. They smooth up, and stop just short of your ribcage.

You know the question, consent is the upmost important thing to hongjoong. “Please touch me joong” you tell him before he has the chance. Holding his face close to yours, he smiles, that shit eating grin he always has, the teasing one he uses to perform. Already, you can feel the damp spot in yunhos once clean briefs getting wet. “You want me to touch you where? Huh? Tell me where pretty girl.” he hums, and goodness is it exhausting being teased. You don't even want to say it, too impatient for words. You grab hongjoongs hands off your hip and rib cage, dragging them up and over your breasts just under your shirt. It pools at your collarbone, just under your chin.

“There, touch me there joong” you plead, eyebrows creasing. Hongjoongs hot palms knead into your tits, causing your nipples to pebble up from the friction. Oh so sensitive. Everything must be heightened by now, you want to be touched everywhere. Hongjoongs eyes heavily watch your expressions as he takes your left bud between his fingers and tugs. You yelp as quietly as you can manage, turning your head away. The snicker from joong makes you shy, like he's laughing at you. His head falls down, blowing over the sensitive bud between his right hand, when it pebbles, he takes it into his wet cavern, humming against it and suckling harshly. Not expecting it, your hips jut up from between his knees. Whimpering.

Hongjoong presses himself closer to you, slobbering over your tit and squeezing it with his large palm. He pulls off with a pop and plants kisses along the space around it, looking up at your slacked expression has his shorts tightening even more so. This is what he wanted when he got up that morning, when he figured out the smell of sex was coming from your room and the way yunho cuddled into you as you both napped. The brown haired male takes your other pretty bud into his mouth, lapping at it with his tongue. Your heat hadn't quite hit, it isn't until tomorrow, it's too early to tell though. And the smell of your soiled clothes in the laundry basket tells joong something definitely happened that involved your heat. You scent is addicting, it already had joong jolting into his fist in the bathroom. Too eager waiting for you to get up. He tugs with his teeth, suckling and swishing the pliable fat between his soft hands, your choked sob goes straight to his cock.

He can't take your noises anymore, or the way your hips won't stop wiggling under him. Grazing against his sensitive area unknowingly. He trails wet kisses down your stomach, when he reaches the top of the underwear that hides you away. He looks up for permission. Hongjoongs pretty eyes never fail to make you lose your breath, heaving. Chest glistening, you nod sloppily. An appreciated kiss is laid on your hip bone before he's tugging off yunho's briefs and tossing them to the side of his leg.

Cold air meets you as hongjoong throws your legs over his shoulders. His eyes scan your glistening core, kissing down your knee and thighs, as soon as he gets as close to where you want him. He bites into you, hard. You twitch, and whine, biting down on your tongue. The pulse of the spot has you aching as he kisses the hurt away. The next second his nose is pressing into you as his firm tongue falls out to lap up all the mess between your folds. A shuddered sigh knocks out of you. As he trails up, he takes your clit between his pink lips, sucking hard. Your thighs clench around his head. Bucking away at the overwhelming feeling. You can feel the grin forming on his face.

His palm pushes against your hip to get you to stop moving, tongue jutting out once more to lap your taste up. So sweet, and so dewy on the tip of his tongue. He swirls it around your nerves, groaning softly at the taste. You preen. “You're so wet” he mumbles, bumping his nose against you as he trails down to your hole, he blows a huff of air on it as he takes. Making you clench, “I could just put two in and it wouldn't hurt you're so wet, yeah? Think you could take two for me?” He looks up through his dark eyelashes, Bending your knees over his shoulders. Joongs thumb prods your bundle, catching you off guard from the tug of it as it digs into your clit in lazy swirls. You choke out a soft moan. “Words” he reminds you, nipping the skin by your knee, withholding your eyes in his hazy gaze.

“Yes, I can take two joong, I can do it-” you beg, and hongjoong has a hard time holding back his predatory smile. “Pretty girl, already falling apart, I haven't even done anything” his snicker has you feeling bullied. His head dips back in, his wet muscle coming out once again to replace his thumb, licking you. You're relishing in the slow build up, holding his hand over your hip. Panting out. Joongs finger prods at the tight ring of your entrance, twisting between the flutter of your walls and completely digging into you. You gasp at the first, pushing back against the second prod of hongjoongs ring finger. He hums over your clit, molding his tongue to the bud, his lips wrapping around it.

Hongjoong's getting pussy drunk. He's getting greedy feasting on you, his hips rut into the sheets, sparing him the feeling of the pent up need to release for only a couple of split seconds before he's digging it back down as soon as he hears how sloppy he's making you. At this rate, hongjoong might just cum in his pants, and he wouldn't care. Your pleasure is his pleasure. His fingers dip up, pushing and prodding for the spot that'll have you seeing stars. Memorizing how you react to every twist and pull, he sucks down on you, and huffs for air that has you tensing around his slender fingers. He wants to take his time to savor this. But he knows Yunho will be back with your food as soon as it's ready, Seonghwa said it'll be done in 15 minutes or less.

His fingers piston into the spot that catches your throat, his lips tugging around your bud, suckling and tugging like he's trying to milk you for your orgasm. It's almost there, coiling in your stomach and burning closer and closer. Your eyes are screwed shut, no longer able to stop the blurriness from overwhelmed tears crowding your lash line. Your hips twitch under his palm, digging you down into the mattress so you can't escape his tongue and fingers. As joong comes off you with a squelched pop, he blows air back on the bud. You buck, his thumb comes up to take his place, tight circles digging into your swollen clit.

“There you go,” Hongjoong says as a particularly hard clench squeezes his digits. “Must have been so horny to take yunho last night huh? you're still so tight on my fingers” he curls them as he mentions them. The sloppy noises of his extended fingers hitting around your hole has you hazing in and out of breath. “How'd you get him to fit?” He asks, humming into his words as if this was some normal conversation. You can't even respond. Twitching and pushing up into his particularly hard thrusting fingers that slap and echo in your ears. “Poor girl, needed a cock that bad you let him in without enough prep” he tsks.

Your orgasm builds and is so tantalizingly close, your head lulls to the side, pants and whines. Your hand digs into hongjoongs wrist, holding him as if that'll keep him there. His hand spreads so far across your hips that the slight push down has you feeling his fingers in your stomach. “Yunho told me how desperate you are, how good you were for him, now i know he was right” hongjoongs teasing tone has tears streaming down your face. You know he feels your heartbeat speed up and you clench, but when you meet that crossroad he stops stroking his thumb and has you falling back in a loop. “Not yet” he says this time, sighing into his words.

He pumps them in some more, the pool of your slick trailing down between his fingers and your thighs. There's so much, so much the sheet is wet. Your toes curl at the build up. This time, he continues. “told me you look so pretty when you cum” he whispers heavily, mouth falling open, watching his fingers disappear and reappear from your sopping hole.

“please, joong, please, please” you beg for your release. He pretends to think about it. Building you up again. So, so damn close. A slight moan comes from his throat, pleased at the gumminess of your walls. “Come on pretty girl, let me see” he gives you the go ahead, his teeth digging into his plump lip, his eyes finding your face and watching. That's all it takes for you to shake as you cum, digging down into the sheets with a strangled gasp. Your mouth falling open, legs twitching. Even your toes curl at how hard it hits you. His fingers never stop bullying you until you're shaking and trying to close your thighs. He pulls the out, then takes him in his mouth to clean them off. His eyes fluttered close, as if its some ice cream dripping from a cone that's cold on the taste buds. You're huffing pants loudly. So much so you have to close your mouth and try to breath out of your nose.

Giving you a second, Hongjoong lays a kiss on the top of your knee, then the other. He reaches next to him, and you realize he's grabbing yunhos briefs again. Pulling them back up your legs. The fabric sticks to your center. You pout at the feeling behind close lids. He pulls the blanket back over him like a cape, kissing gently up your stomach before pulling your shirt back over you. Helping you seem more put together. He smiles as if he didn't do anything at all when he pulls you to lay over him. Swiping the drying tears off the side of your eyes. He kisses each side of your cheek where they fell. Lovingly, gently. Much more softer than he was seconds ago. He peppers a kiss down your nose and lands it on your lips. “You didn't get to finish” you pout, he lays his head down next to yours. His lips falling into a small grin. “That one was for you” he takes your fingers between his, kissing each of the tips of them and down your wrist.

“But-” you pout, his eyes pull up into a smile. “so greedy” he laughs, kissing your nose again. Fingers fiddling with yours over his chest. “There's no time for it pretty girl, someone might walk in on us” he hums, grinning so cheerily. Your head falls over his shoulder, embarrassed. His lips lay over your forehead. His right hand coming up to rub against your back. Soothing yunhos creasing shirt down. Although that fuzziness isn't returning. You think you've got atleast another hour thanks to hongjoongs prying hands.

As if on cue. Yunhos head pops in through the door, when he pushes it open, seonghwas right behind him holding a tray. They must be the only ones to know you're awake, because all the sudden, the thumping of the guys rushing into the hallway make you realize you're awake and coherent and they're most likely coming to check up on you.

Hongjoong laughs at the sound as if this is some goofy cartoon, sitting up along with you. Seonghwa dips the platter on the bed, sliding it to you when he takes a criss crossed seat on the end. Smiling gently. “Hi hwa” you greet, wrapping your arms around him over the tray, you can't help it. You plant a kiss on his cheek. He beams, patting your hip and looking back down at the tray to make sure it didn't spill. Pancakes and an array of sausages, fruits. A meal fit for a goddess. Compared to easy snacks and reheatable meals you had for your first heat- this is heaven on your bed. You feel so very greatful. “thank you” you reach for his hand. Squeezing it gently. He smiles, shyly looking down.

You finish the last of your food. Syrup still sticking to the corner of your lips. Joong had gotten up to stop the fighting of yunho and the guys, taking your tray with you. Yunho had stepped back to fight off the rest of the crew, like he was your protective shield whilst you ate, you can still hear wooyoung, mingi, and san whining. Seonghwa took his seat in joongs spot, too far away from you. You have to scoot up over to him for him to get what you're doing. He meets you halfway. Looking you over.

“You don't smell like sex” you cough. Sputtering, covering your mouth with your hand so you're not accidentally spitting on him. Seonghwa laughs, plump lips pulled into a smile over his cheeks. “Hongjoong said give him a few minutes so..” he nodded in thought, pinching his fingers together over his lap. “for some reason i don't think hongjoong can finish that fast,” is your face on fire? You're so very warm with seonghwas casual words.

“I finish that fast” you spurt out. God, are you digging yourself a hole to die in? Seonghwa looks the least bit shocked, if not somewhat happy at your words that have you internally crying from embarrassment. “Then you're well taken care of.” he nods, taking your hand in his. “yeosang’s running a bath for you. Should be ready.” he intertwines your hands in his, fingers spreading over yours. Hwas other thumb reaches to swipe the syrup from the corner of your mouth, popping it into his after to suck off the residue. Oof- as if that's not equally as sexy as hwa is.

“Let's get you cleaned up angel”

A/n; I'm so sorry. (Nu-uh). this is posted as soon as I tag n all that jazz so I can sleep when it goes out ☺️ I spent all night writing this(I'm a whore) and I had to step away a few times to collect myself. Gifs are edits, I turn them into gifs/edit gifs (ily editors!) Comments push my motivation, thank you all,, muwah. P.s would yall be upset if seonghwa had an oppa kink(theres proof I'm p sure help)

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