#and I think that’s what anon haters want. validation that they’re important and worthy of attention too

[theloveinc]

It’s really ironic bc sending anon hate is really shameful and cruel of people but like. Yeah. Some opinions on here are Ass.

[wxlfstxrx]

Hi, Rae. I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need to take this off my chest and you seem kind enough to help me deal with this. I know this is going to be a long ask, so I'm sorry in advance. It's been a few years since I started questioning. Actually, the more I go on the more I like the word bisexual, but since I've never had a relationship before, I sort of don't feel entitled to label myself as anything? (1/2)

hey anon, thank you for confiding in me. you’re not a bother at all! i’m honoured that you trust me enough to speak to me. i can imagine how hard it must be for you rn, and i’m sorry you feel this way. you shouldn’t have to, really. first of all, i wanna say two things:

1. just because you’ve never been in a relationship before doesn’t mean that you’re not entitled to/worthy of a label.

more on the label thing later, but your sexuality is not defined by your experience, either with relationships or with sex. you can have no experience but know you’re bisexual, or any other sexuality for that matter, and that’s okay. i didn’t have any experience back then when i realised i was bi. not any proper relationship experience anyway. it’s fine if you’re like me (or rather, like me in 2016 lmao lots have happened since then akfjflsdjfls). it doesn’t invalidate your own understanding of yourself and who you are and what you identify as.

2. sexuality is not a destination, it’s a journey. (or whatever the exact phrase is. i can’t remember exactly.)

i used to think i was straight (HAH! as if i could ever be. wonder woman was my bi awakening at the age of 9 without me even realising). i dated guys periodically and i was obsessed over het ships back then (dramione, yes, i know, percabeth, clace, you name it) and for the fucking longest time (9 years) i thought that my interest in women was just, yknow, those things that people call “girl crushes”, and not actual crushes. and then in 2016 i realised i was bi when a good friend of mine (hey, if you ever read this!! 👋🏻) asked me about it point blank, and i was just like, oh. hahaha dskfjskfjs good ol’ days.

anyway, it’s normal to feel unsure and nervous about matters as important as sexuality, because it’s a big part of who you are. i get it. i get the insecurities about not knowing what to call yourself, i get the insecurities about not knowing whether people will like you for who you are, and i get the insecurities about not knowing whether i’ll ever find a place in this community.

but honestly, sexuality changes, and that’s okay. that’s valid. nobody should tell you otherwise. i thought i was straight, turns out i’m bi. recently realised i have certain more guyish tendencies too, but i wouldn’t really consider myself as nonbinary because i do feel comfortable being a girl (some aspects less than others lol) and i do feel comfortable being addressed as such. but i have friends who decide somewhere along the way that they’re more comfortable identifying as nb, and that’s perfectly fine. or i also have friends who came out as bisexual, and then decided they were pansexual. also perfectly fine.

there’s no final destination to your sexuality. it’s a continuous journey and process of self discovery, and i know it can be hard because there’s so much censorship and hate in the world, and honestly the queer community does NOT have enough support or resources for people who are still trying to figure themselves out. but i assure you, 100%, that you deserve love, even though you’re not currently sure about what you identify as. baseline is, be who you want to be and love who you want to love. this is your life, and these are your feelings and experiences, and nobody can take that away from you. fuck the haters who try to dictate what you’re allowed to feel and do, because they’re wankers.

if a girl you’re interested in cannot accept you because you’re not sure about what you identify as, then she’s not the right person for you, t b v h. if anyone dares give you shit for not being sure, tell me. i’ll fight them.

on another note, don’t rush yourself into making a decision on what you want to identify as, or if you want to at all (if you don’t ever want to, that’s fine, that’s your choice). like i said, it took me 9 years to even realise it, and i honestly accepted it immediately, but people out there do live in denial for a couple more years, and that’s okay. take your time, sweetie. it’s not a race, and there’s no deadline. do whatever you’re comfortable with, and take it day by day.

sorry for the long reply i got carried away LMAO. but you got this, hun ❤️ lots of love for you. i’m always here if you need to talk! i’ve officially sold my soul to tumblr hahaha instagram is flipping shit sdkskdkd