#and I tell her I learned about the lotus flower being a huge symbol and how pink is just a very good inspiring colour that is worn by all

[cloverhighfive]

I think cis allies who do know about those things should educate other cis given the opportunity. Unfortunately, I have found it to be the absolute exception when a cis person goes out of their way to learn about non-cis matters.

So if you're a cis ally, preach. Educate. Slip a little fun fact when the occasion rises. Seize the moment. Give food for thought. And keep learning. And always be kind.

Your satisfaction is to see them pause and file this under "will think about this later". I don't think I've had anyone get a sudden epiphany, but I've seen the glimmer of progress.

Go forth, cis allies!

Maybe cis allies could not expect trans people to have pass perfectly, like not pressure them. And realize there are multiple ways to be trans. And unlearn lookism. Like unlearn Western beauty standards. And that not all trans people want operations. Like gender affirming care. But cis allies should learn more about it and try to help us do activism so everyone has access or something.

~~~~

[serendipitybutterfly]

Pick a Card Reading: What's Coming in the Month Ahead?

*Disclaimer- Pick a card readings are general as they are intended for multiple people. If a message resonates with you and what's going on in your life then it is for you and if it doesn't then it's probably for someone else and you can ignore it.

If you feel drawn to more than one pile then feel free to have a look at any of them as there may be information for you in more than one. I'd be grateful for your feedback on if you enjoyed this kind of reading and if you found it helpful as this is the first pick a card I've done. I hope you enjoy and that this may be useful to you in some way! 💜

Close your eyes and take deep breaths, focusing on the cool sensation of the air entering your lungs and warm sensation as it leaves your nose. Pay attention to sounds around you, from the loudest to the quietest... Let your awareness expand. Then, ask the question, 'what is coming in the month ahead?'. Open your eyes and they will be drawn to the pile or stone that is meant for you.

Pile 1: Amethyst

Pile 2: Selenite

Pile 3: Rose Quartz

Pile 1:

For everyone who chose pile one, this will be a month where the focus is entirely on your personal growth and development. This is a month in which you fulfilling your dreams and goals needs to be at the forefront. The archetype card that represents you this month is The Exorcist and this is really representative of you exorcising your own demons; the little voices in your head that tell you you can't do it, that you're not good enough or that lead you towards toxic habits or people. This month, your attention needs to be on letting everything which no longer serves you go in order to focus wholeheartedly on your dream (I love how the Focus card here has purple crystals which match the amethyst... some lovely confirmation!).

The tarot shows that you have The Star, The Empress in reverse, the Wheel of Fortune in reverse, and the 10 of Pentacles. This is telling me that you have the immense potential to make your dreams a reality and that fulfilling this dream will lead to a comfortable, secure lifestyle for you and your family materially. You are like the Empress waiting for her throne to come to her, but you're the one who needs to make it happen. You need to believe in yourself. As soon as you start working on developing yourself, you'll see the wheel begin to turn in your favour. It will take hard work to kick bad habits and have the discipline and focus to develop your skills and work towards your dream, but it will be worth it.

I hope this isn't too disappointing to some of you, but for most of you I don't think the True Love card is referring to your relationship with another person, but rather it's about how you see yourself. You're going to be learning that True Love actually comes from within. Love is a quality, a state, which is born within you and which you can share with others. You never need to look further than your own heart for love. There's a need to shift your perspective on love, on the way you view it and where and how you're looking for it. You need to begin seeing yourself differently, believing in your own talent and potential and having confidence that you will succeed.

It might sound strange, but I need all you pile ones to go listen to The Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston, you could even watch the music video, and make sure to pay attention to the lyrics! I started singing it to myself while doing this reading so I think it contains an important theme in this month for you and could be great inspiration.

Speaking of which, The Bard card tells me that music, songs, stories and art in general will be hugely inspirational to you this month. It could be a song you listen to, a book you read, a movie you watch... Something will motivate and inspire you and it's important that you take advantage of that inspiration. I think quite a few of you may also be aspiring 'bards' ; artists who want to share their music, art and stories with the world. I'm telling you that The Star is shining on your dreams so believe in yourself, work hard and you will have your wish! Good luck in the month ahead! 💜

Pile 2:

Perhaps unsurprisingly, for those of you who chose pile 2 and Selenite (a stone associated with the moon) this pile seems to be very much about you getting in touch with the watery energy of your spirituality and emotions. The archetype card representing you over the next month is the Monk / Nun. Someone who has devoted them self to a spiritual life. Monks and Nuns also take vows of chastity and what I'm seeing for any of you that are interested in romance is that there is quite a bit of spiritual work you need to do on your own first before you're truly ready to open your heart to love.

The tarot cards you got, the 2 of Air (swords), the 2 of cups, the King of cups reversed and the nine of wands, are telling me that you have some underlying issues when it comes to relationships (I think mostly romantic but it could also include other kinds of relationships so take it how it resonates). I feel like there's a sense of hesitating to trust others or believe you could be in a great relationship... You have some hidden emotional blockages that you need to work through before you can be a well adjusted King of Cups with his amazing emotional intelligence, confidence and open heart. The nine of wands in this tarot deck (Tarot of the Thousand and One Nights) is actually very different from the usual imagery of the nine of wands which shows the battered warrior having won one battle yet knowing the war isn't over. This nine of wands on the other hands shows what seems to be a couple meeting each other in a quiet place for a romantic rendezvous... I take it in this case as a couple reuniting after being separated by difficult circumstances and overcoming them on their own... Now finally they can be together. That's the message for you pile 2, you have the potential to have beautiful relationships but first you need to work on the blockages that are holding you back from being able to love with all your heart.

You got the Lotus card representing 'Unfoldment'. I want you all to look up the symbol of the Lotus in Buddhist tradition, but essentially consider that the beautiful Lotus flower rises to the light of the sun out of the darkness and filth at the bottom of the pond. You may have gone through dark times in your life, but don't see yourself as tainted by them forever. You can and will overcome your past and rise, pure, clean and beautiful into the light. You can see with the Water Cleansing card just how much clear water elemental energy is present in this reading. I think doing some cleansing rituals involving water would be extremely beneficial for many of you. If you live near the sea, or a clean river, stream, spring or lake where it is safe to swim and wash yourself in the water, do go out and do so at a peaceful time of day, visualising the water washing away any past wounds and leaving you fresh again. If there's no natural body of water near you, then make up a cleansing bath (or shower) at home and do just the same, imagine the water washing away the pain and fear that no longer serve you. Almost like a baptism where the past is washed away and it's like you are born again, I see that symbolic cleansing with water will help you feel pure and clean in your body, mind and spirit and allow you to begin anew.

Rounding out the water imagery, we have the Water Faery card representing you in the month ahead and emphasising that this month is all about emotional healing and spirituality. Together with the Druid Card and It's Safe to Love card, I'm getting the message that having this period of soul searching and spiritual growth is key to healing the emotional wounds left by your past. I want to recommend all of you to do some Sacral Chakra and Heart Chakra healing meditations as I think that would be a good place to start for a lot of you. You can find guided meditations on YouTube for these. Right now I'm really getting the impression that you're experiencing blockages in these areas due to some events in your past that you've really held onto and it's stopping your loving and creative energies from flowing as they should. Once you give yourself permission to heal and let go of the pain you're holding onto, you're going to be elevating yourself and opening up to the love and connections you really deserve. Sometimes it's hard to face and reconcile with the most shadowy parts of yourself, sometimes it's actually scary to step out from the shadow because you don't know who you are without it, but I promise you all that having the bravery to start this healing process will be worth it every step of the way. Let yourself be washed clean and start afresh now.✨

Pile 3:

OK pile 3... This is a rough time for a lot of you I can see. Right now some truths seem to have come to light in your life and you've been left feeling betrayed, deceived, lied to... It doesn't feel good, but let this reading give you hope and confirmation in the fact that you are blessed and protected.

First of all, the archetype representing you this month is the angel card. Not only is this telling me that you are a good, kind person who is not in the wrong in the situation you are in, its also a confirmation that you are surrounded by angels who are protecting and guiding you. This reading is full of angels. I counted 5 angels in all so perhaps 5 is a lucky or significant number this month (it is also the 5th month of the year!).

All the tarot cards - 7 of Air (swords), 3 of swords, and Judgement twice! - are giving me the simple message that you were being deceived or misled, but the truth has been brought to light and this left you feeling heartbroken or disappointed. But try not to give in to this feeling. Everything happens for a reason and those who did wrong will be brought to justice and those who did the right thing will receive their just rewards. Honestly, I get the feeling that you were actually protected from a worse outcome. You feel the truth coming to light ruined something for you but actually it spared you from a greater suffering and has now opened the doors to you stepping into the opportunities you really deserve. In a sense, this really is actually something to celebrate, even though it may not seem so right now.

With the Distant Thunder and Oracle cards, I'm getting the message that right now isn't the time to make any hasty decisions or take any rash action. It's important right now to watch and listen carefully to what's going on and make sure you have all the information you need before you make your next move. Don't worry, you're going to be guided to take action when the time is right and all the necessary information will be provided to you. Just keep your eyes and ears open and watch for the signs.

With this Partnership card I'm getting that this particular group has people dealing with a few different kinds of situations... For some of you this is to do with a romantic relationship, for others it's with friends or family and for others it's to do with business or education... Regardless of the specifics, I want to assure you all that you have been blessed and protected by the guides watching over you and that is something to celebrate and grateful for. Although you're disappointed now, try to have faith that what is coming to you is greater than what you had imagined previously. There are better things in store and this setback is just paving the way for you. Have a little patience and keep watch because great new opportunities are in your future!😇

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Lau - Pink Lotus Princess

(( Just a little disclaimer - I chose to find a nice name for the Reader as well, mostly because I wanted that name to be symbolic and have the meaning that I wanted it to, to be in a clear anti-thesis to her sister. 

Yahui (Elegant, Graceful) Lianyi (Intelligent, Unique)

I did quite a lot of research on things from the Quig dynasty and how things were around that time...And also some influences from the phone game Royal Chaos that I used to play a year ago, more or less because the plot was pretty interesting, so I hope didn’t do any errors or stuff like that x ))

---

The whole kingdom had a reason to party as the Empress gave birth to a little Princess, and although it wasn't an heir, as everyone hoped for, they were still content with it, being his first child.

The Emperor stood by the Empress' side on her bed, stroking her hair as she smiled exhausted down at the little angelic creature she gave birth to, leaning her head on her husband's side, and at least for that night, there would be no Harem troubles. 

That happiness was short lived, as the main Consort also gave birth to a little girl, a little over 2 months later, which made for everyone comparing the 2 little Princesses in everything they did. 

And thus comes the story of the little Princess Lianyi, a girl of merely 10 years of age, seemingly so innocent to the world, and yet, knowing so many of the harsh realities that she witnessed or heard of from her mother, the Empress, who thought the nest birthday gift for her little Lotus was to take her in town to see the world.

Her father gifted her a beautiful pink dress with long sleeves, which she used as pockets for little coin bags and a hair pin, just in case. The maid brushed her long, beautiful hair that looked like black silk in a beautiful half-braid, the upper part being a complicated, royal braid, while the lower part she let loose, dancing to the rhythm of the gentle Spring wind. 

The Empress let the girl do as she pleased, keeping an eye on her from afar, and she realised she admired the beautiful craftsmanship of various hair accessories, when she suddenly heard a huge commotion at a food stand, and a furious man furiously yelling at a boy about her age who looked terrified. 

The little princess frowned and went to the booth, realising the boy must have stolen to feed himself, as he looked like an orphan, and she took out one of the little coin bags and threw them at the booth owner.

"Here, I'm sure this is enough for what he stole and some more, correct?" she spoke in a light voice, yet her eyes were unwavering. "Who tha' hell d'ya think ye are, kid?! Get outta mi sight!" the booth owner shouted at her, making her raise her chin and stare at him offended and condescending. "You dare disrespect Princess Lianyi? How unsightly! But I am merciful today, since it’s my birthday. I will give you a second chance to redeem yourself before I call over my guards." her words shocked the man as she spoke so maturely, almost as of the Emperor himself was in front of him. "Y-Yer the P-Princess...?" the man jaw-dropped, his eyes wide like saucers, before falling to his knees, bowing to the ground in front of the girl. "F-Forgive me rudeness, Yer Highness! That rat stole food and with no money, I can't take care of me own family! P-Please take anything ye'd like!" he sobbed, making the girl crouch down and pat his head awkwardly. "That's enough, I forgive you. Take the money for your family and let me take the food from here. This boy here is just a child without family. Next time you are so ride towards an orphan, imagine what would happen to your child if you were to die right now." she explained in a gentler voice, before taking the food bag and dragged the boy away to a beautiful koi fish pond that was shded by a Peach tree.

The girl lifted the hem of her dress, sitting on the ground and drawing shapes with her finger on the sheen of the crystal clear water. 

"Well? Aren't you going to eat? I thought you'd be famished." she mused in a playful way. "Why...Did you help me? You're a Princess...Nobody from the royal family ever helped the homeless..." he spoke in a hushed voice, almost as if afraid. "Oh, I see you're brave. Nobody would dare drag the royal family in front of the Princess herself. Tell me your name." she smiled deviously, shifting her gaze completely to the boy. "Lau, Your Highness. My name is Lau." saying his name, a soft smile started to creep on his face. "Aww, look at you, you're smiling, how cute. Here, take this. Spend it wisely, I'm not sure when we'll be seeing each other again. Now that I practically bribed you, tell me why are you so at ease with talking to me." the Princess smirked, making the boy muse and grin wider. "You see, Princess, I can read people very well, and I can tell that you have something...Unique about you. Just like a Lotus flower. So tell me, my pink Lotus, what do you do at the palace? Sing like a little songbird for the Emperor? Or do a graceful dance for your suitors?" Lau rested his chin on his palm, looking completely at ease, fox-like features gracing his visage. "Goodness, no, that's my sister...My job at the Palace is to be the China's disappointment." she chuckled drily, looking away. "If I were a bird, I could fly away and be free...I could do anything that I wanted and nobody would judge me or treat me as an object for political means. I could discover the world and...I could be happy." she sighed, closing her beautiful jade-coloured eyes in resentment. "You are just like a butterfly, my Princess. A caged bird, trying to break free. What are you going to do?" he mused in a lower voice. "What is there to do, Lau? I'm a woman! There is nothing to do! My father is already angry enough on me for being such a weird daughter and now I have to learn how to behave, so to speak, so at least he wouldn't kill me or send me away to some nasty old man." she bit her lip without realising, before she felt a gentle hand on her face. "And what are you interests, little flower?" he asked, caressing her face. "I'm...Sneaking to the healers to study medicine. It's my passion. If I could, I would become a healer...But I can't. My fated was sealed to me the day I was brought into this world." she sighed once again, looking down. "If I could marry you, I would, and we could live our life away from all these terrible people. Isn't it sad how fate works sometimes? But I'm asking you, my dear Pink Lotus...What if we were to fight destiny?" he smirked mischievously, making her widen her eyes in disbelief. "Fight fate...? Is that even possible...?" she whispered, barely able to find her voice. "We can do anything we want to, my dearest. All we have to do is be smart about our little plans. So, what do you say? Do you want to escape your fate together with me and get away from this place? Or will you continue to be the Emperor's little doll that will get thrown away in a few years? I believe you're almost old enough to marry, am I right ~?" he slurred his words, almost as if entrancing her in his spell. "How old are you that you know so much?" she raised her eyebrow in confusion. "Barely 15, but my little sister is just a bit younger than you, and I would be devastated if she were to have such a terrible life ahead of her." he spoke with slight amusement. “How nice...You have a sister that you love...And she loves you back. I and my sister have been pitted against each other since birth. I expect death every day by either her hand or the Consort’s.” she scoffed, looking away in disgust. “Who would have thought that such beautiful ladies would be so much deadlier than war generals.” he chuckled in amusement, making the girl nudge him. “Don’t joke like that...Instead, tell me your plan.” she leaned in closer, motioning for him to tell her everything. “Hmmm...? Plan? What plan? I have no idea what are you talking about.” he shrugged simply, a wide, innocent and clueless grin on his face, making the girl look at him in complete shock. “Excuse....Me....WHAT?! You did all that build up, giving me hope that I could somehow get away from all this madness, only for you to destroy everything...Just like that?! How cruel can you be?!” she glared at him, getting to her feet, rushing to leave, before he caught her wrist, turning her to face him. “Wǒ qīn'ài de fěnhóng sè liánhuā    (My dear pink lotus) ...Don’t turn your back on me like that, you’re breaking my heart. You showed me kindness, and I have to repay my debt in a way. Even if you decide to throw away your status, you’re always going to be my dear little Princess. Life works in mysterious ways, don’t forget that.” Lau caressed her face, planting a soft kiss on her forehead, leaving her awestruck, little beads of water glistering in her eyes. “You better not betray me, Lau, or I swear I will have you publicly executed and I will swing the sword myself.” she threatened, despite her voice being so light and shaky. “I shall remember that.” he mused, finding her words rather cute.

---

Years passed faster than anyone expected, and while Lianyi wasn’t able to go visit her friend too often, at least once per year, during her birthday, she managed to see him, thanks to her mother’s kindness, seeing her only daughter being so infatuated with the boy that treated her so gently.

Her mother only got into the Harem and accepted to marry the Emperor because her brother was a powerful War general and she was the eldest daughter of the family, so it had to be done.

She never loved the Emperor, and she wished for her daughter to find and marry a man she loves... The Empress knew from the second she gave birth to her little angel, she knew that she was special and had a great future ahead of her...But she had to be far away from this terrible place...Far away where she wasn’t a Princess and she could marry the man she fell in love with and practice healing, just as she always dreamt of.

However, the Princess’ 15th birthday gift was her mother’s death, which she realised was due to poison from the Consort, and her father arranged her marriage with the enemy War General to make a peace pact, which made her heart break and whole life shatter in front of her.

Lianyi ran to the meeting spot where Lau was waiting, this time, without his little sister, Ran Mao, with whom the girl played with or braided her hair or gave her gifts like hair pins or other nice clothes.

She threw her arms around the only person apart from her mother who showed any bit of love to her and let tears stream down her soft, porcelain like cheeks, making the man worry and put her to his chest, stroking her hair.

“What ever could have happened to make you cry, wǒ de húdié  (my butterfly) ?” he asked in a gentle voice, wiping away the tears. “They killed her, Lau! Those harpies killed her! With monkswood, nonetheless! How much more cruel can they get? Don’t they realise that it’s an act of treason and they could be killed? And if that wasn’t enough, my father is sending me away to marry some 60 year old general that’s our enemy nonetheless...Next week...I don’t know what to do! I’m losing my mind!” she sobbed in his warm embrace as he tried to calm her down, but she was lost beyond reason. “My poor little Princess, so young, yet burdened with such sorrow. I wonder how you will get out of this mess.” he cooed at her, making her grit her teeth in anger. “If you’re not going to help, at least don’t be a jerk about it! I going through a crisis right now, and despite you being the only person I can rely on, you’re mocking me! I am still the Princess and with the little influence I have, I can still have you killed!” she sneered at him, pushing him away, but it only made him chuckle. “Please forgive me, my darling, it’s just...You’re just so adorable when you respond to my teasing. It just makes me want to squish your cheeks and gush over how cute you are. Here, as a way to apologise, I’ll let you braid my hair. How is that?” he unbraided his hair, letting his ebony hair that almost reached his waist fly in the soft wind. “Sure...” she muttered, sitting on the ground behind the man, gently playing with his hair, slowly letting peace wash over her. “If I run away...How will we ever see each other again? I don’t want to lose you, Lau.” she sighed, finishing the braid and hugging the man, resting her forehead on his shoulder. “I would never leave my little Pink Lotus alone. This only means that we have to act sooner than expected. We shall be just like this Peach tree, blooming earlier than our time, but just as beautiful. Lianyi, my darling, will you listen to what I have to say?” he got up, helping the girl stand as well, putting his hands on her pale face, looking deep into her jade-like eyes, feeling his heart warmer as he noticed how divine she looked with her face rosy, in the divine light of Mother Moon. “Of course I will listen to you.” she spoke breathlessly, gazing shyly into his dark eyes. “Then follow your instincts and know that even if you don’t see me next to you, I am still guiding you from the shadows, and soon, we will see each other again when you least expect it. I made a promise with you and I intend to keep it. If you stay around me for now, you will be in grave danger, and I will not allow that to happen.” he spoke firmly, letting her know he wasn’t being playful, as usual. “What have you gotten yourself into...?” she frowned in worry. “Nothing that you should worry over, wǒ qīn'ài de xiǎo gōngzhǔ ( my dear little princess ).” he soothed her gently, letting his sleeve fall down a bit down, revealing a dragon tattoo. “Oh, Lau...Please be safe. I don’t know what I’d do if I knew something happened to you.” she pleaded with her eyes, glimmering like jewels in the light, making the brunet man smile gently at her, tracing her soft, luscious lips resembling the petals of a pink lotus, with his thumb. “I promise you that we will both be okay, if you promise me you’ll still love me so beautifully when we see each other again. No matter what happens, never lose this innocence of yours, my dear.” speaking so softly, he put a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Why is a man so invested with a woman? Surely you realise I won’t be a Princess anymore when we next see each other. So...Why...Do you behave so differently from everyone else...?” she raised her eyebrow in naive confusion. “I imagine for you, this feeling would be foreign, but I didn’t lie when I said I wanted to spend my life with you. Now, should we seal this promise of ours?” he smiled softly at her, raising her face to gaze at him. “How...?” she asked in that sweet voice that sent shivers down his spine.

There was no need for an answer, for Lau slowly leaned in, capturing her lips softly, pulling her closer to him, before pulling apart and gazing into her eyes, seeing stars and love.

He had never seen such a pure and lovely person in his life, especially one to show him such warm and genuine emotions, and over these 5 years they spent together, his love and need to protect her only grew more and more.

He didn’t know how long he will have to be away from her, nor did he know if he was going to survive being a top official of Qing Bang, and more, quickly reaching up the ladder and being close to becoming the manager of the Shanghai trading company, and very soon, having to move to Great Britain and extend his influence there.

Lau’s life has always been unpredictable and dangerous, so until he somehow manages to settle in a more relaxed environment where he’s sure no assassin may attack or use her as bait or bribe, there was no way he could have her around any longer.

He was an ambitious man, he wanted to be so much more than a street rat, he wanted money, he wanted luxury and riches, he wanted the world, he wanted to indulge in sins...

He wanted everything.

And he WILL get everything.

---

While Lau was busy making a name for himself, the girl was forced to dance for her soon to be husband, who was nothing less than a lecherous scum of a human being.

She was fed up, she’s had enough of this life.

She was going to end it all.

She was finally going to take the reigns of her fate in her hands.

Nobody was going to control her anymore.

She followed the advice that her mother gave her on her deathbed, took her trusted servant with her, and ran away on a horse, disguising herself as a man and acting as a travelling healer.

She already had enough money at her, courtesy of her mother’s shrewdness, so for the rest 5 or so years, she lived peacefully with her servant in a decent home, working as a physician at a smaller palace.

But due to a series of unfortunate events, she was found out and she was Physician Yi no more, but a woman once again, who was not allowed to work as a healer. What was even worse, was that the Lord of the palace forced her to join his harem, otherwise she would get executed for treason, all while they killed her servant in an attempt to warn her.

But she wasn’t going to let men take control of her life again.

That night, she created a poison and dipped her hair pin needle in it, killing the guards that stood by the gate, leaving with her horse far, far away.

What she wasn’t expecting, however, was to arrive to a ship that was sailing to England, so she decided to change her fate completely, with no regrets, and see if maybe other continents, other countries, would treat her better.

The whole thing was a mess and the living conditions on the ship were horrible, but she wasn’t Princess Lianyi anymore, nor was she Physician Yi, so she couldn’t afford to complain, and nor she could afford to give any money away recklessly.

She arrived at what she would find out is called East End - London, where poor Oriental people would try to find work...But she wasn’t going to do any physical work. She wasn’t strong enough, she knew her strengths, and that wasn’t one, so she started searching around for physicians and doctors where she could work, of course, disguised as a man, but nobody would hire her without a proper license.

She was going to give up and look for an inn to rest at, when she stumbled upon a Mortician parlor, and thought it wouldn’t be too bad to work there - Better than nowhere, at least, so she knocked on the door, entering nervously.

She was met by a creepy laugh and a man with long silvery hair coming out of a coffin, grinning carefree at her, asking her what she was looking for, and as soon as the man heard she was looking for work, addressing to herself as a man, instead of a woman, he started laughing, which slightly freaked her out.

“Darling, I understand you had to worry about being a woman, out there, but here, you don’t have to hide anymore. I will hire you regardless. I have a spare room here, not that I was expecting to hire anyone, but it sure comes in handy.” he spoke in a low, playful voice, taking away the hat from her head and letting her beautiful, long, ebony hair cascade down her back. “Is it...Really no problem...At all...? No catch? Nothing? Just your heart’s kindness?” she asked in a broken English. “Hmm...I suppose I’ll have to teach you proper English, but that’s no problem at all. You see...I have a few special people that I know and I don’t charge them money, but something much more important in these grim days. It’s laughs. And dear, your attempt at imitating a man, no matter how cute that was, failed. I wonder if it failed because I already know a Chinese man...Who knows?” he giggled, lifting her face up to inspect her. “If you don’t want money, what do you want? And who’s this Chinese man that you’re speaking of?” she asked, hoping, at least for a second, that this is the fate Lau was talking about. “Tell me your story, and you won’t have anything to worry about. You, little mouse, piqued my interest. And the man I’m speaking of usually walks around a little guard dog...I’m sure he’ll come around sooner or later, and you’ll see him yourself.” he explained, intertwining his fingers together. “...I am Princess Lianyi, the Emperor’s and the Empress�� only child. I ran away from home 5 years ago when I got fed up with being used like a doll, married off and mistreated, only for political reasons, and I decided to pursue my dreams. However...I’m not sure if I can settle with only being a healer. I want to kill the Emperor for treating me that way, despite being his first child, and I want to kill his Consort and their daughter for poisoning my mother. If they are dead, then I can be Empress and nobody would dare pressure me again.” she spoke timidly, knowing very well that her ambitions were far beyond reason. “What a marvelous story! To think I’d find myself in the grace of a Princess with such dark ambitions! Hehehe, that’s rather amusing! Don’t worry, little mouse, I will help you with anything I can. You can wear any outfit you wish, it may bring some colour to this gloom place. After all, the beauty of life is like a blooming flower, isn’t it?” the Undertaker hummed, stroking a strand of her hair. “Pink Lotus...That’s what someone special used to call me...Never mind that. Thank you, Undertaker, for your kindness. I truly appreciate it.” she spoke in a soft voice, bowing slightly, not knowing the customs of this new place.

No matter that, however, for the Undertaker was there to teach her everything she needed, be it the language, the customs or medicine, which in this place was so different, yet incredibly efficient.

She quickly learnt of his connection with the underworld and how, before, he meant that people come to him to buy information and this was mostly a facade hobby of sorts.

The Undertaker, for some reason, never called her by her name, but by random nicknames, only using “Pink Lotus” when there was something more important, knowing how many emotions that would bring to her. He would, however, use “Physician Yi” when referring to her in public, not wanting to potentially give away her identity, but also, playfully mocking her 5 years of living as a man, which would greatly annoy the girl and would either glare at the silver haired man, or throw a dog biscuit at him.

Weeks and months passed rather fast and working for the mortician became a rather pleasant routine, until a certain dog bark disturbed their peace.

She was in the back, preparing a tray of tea, before fixing her pink outfit and gold hair accessories, and putting the tray in front of the Undertaker’s table, not sparing any glance for the new comers.

“Wonderful as usual, my dear. This is the guard dog I was telling you about. Isn’t he cute?” the silver haired man giggled, but she only glared at him, remaining silent. “I wouldn’t have expected you to hire Chinese servants who can’t speak English.” the midget smirked, irritating the girl, who cursed him in Chinese, barely audible. “Tiān nǎ (goodness gracious), how amusing!” the Chinese man chuckled dramatically. “What did she say?!” the dark haired child raised his voice impatiently. “Oh, I wonder...!” he smiled deviously, which made her raise her eyebrow at him in confusion. “Do you need me for anything else, Undertaker? Or can I go back to my work? I don’t fancy wasting time with meaningless things, like you.” she spoke in a harsh voice, looking down at him, like a true Empress would. “Well, I was thinking you could present our guests our newest case! As Physician Yi, I’m sure you’d find some joy in showing your expertise, wouldn’t you?” he teased, making the girl harden her glare. “How pathetic. Besides, why should I help them? Jack the Ripper case solved or not, there’s nothing in it for me, is it? I’m not here to do charity work.” she crossed her arms, scoffing. “Ohhh, I see! Then, darling, what is your price? Or do you want jewelry? Fine clothes? Just name it, and in exchange for your services, it’s all yours!” the Chinese man walked in front of her, grinning just like a fox. “Kill the Emperor for me, and I’ll tell you everything.” she matched his grin, her face glowing with a poisonous and fake innocence, leaving the man open his eyes in shock. “...Eh?” he managed to blurt out, certainly caught off guard. “HA! Never mind that, your dumb face was enough to pay me.” she laughed patronising, making the man stare at her in shock, not knowing what to say. “Gods, you’re just like him...” the kid muttered in annoyance. “If you don’t mind...All of the victims were female prostitutes and all of them had a missing, representative organ. If you haven't guessed by now, it's the uterus. It's been carefully taken away. One might conclude that, despite being few people on the streets at night, the culprit has at least the minimum anatomical knowledge, to perform such a clean and specific organ removal...In pitch black.” the girl explains simply and professionally, as if she wasn’t trash-talking them just a second earlier. "Very well, my dear Pink Lotus, you did your homework well~!” the Undertaker chuckled, making the girl hit his chair, making him fall off, in a fit of rage. “How many times must I tell you NEVER to call me that? You’re incurable.” she gritted her teeth in anger, before leaving the parlor.

What she wasn’t aware of was that, for a few seconds, the talk of the day was still about her.

“Why would you get such an irritating servant?” Ciel rolled his eyes in annoyance. “She’s not my servant, Earl. You could say she’s my little apprentice, but it was her who came so timidly at me, asking to be hired, since no one would hire a healer without a license. Poor thing, and she’s such a brilliant young girl.” the mortician commented with a vague smile on his face. “I would say, Young Lord, that you’re not as amiable as you think you are.” Lau teased the young boy, who gasped, offended. “What did you say?!” he glared at his associate with such hatred. “People who had bad things happen to them don’t act as they feel. You should know that by now, shouldn’t you?” he explained, extending his arms to his sides. “Does that mean that you know who she is or what she’s been through or what?” the dark haired child raised his eyebrow questioningly. “I have no clue.” Lau deadpanned, leaving everyone facepalming. “Undertaker, would it be too much to ask you to let me hire your little assistant for a week or 2? I promise I’ll bring her back home safe and there’s no underground business involved.” he averted his gaze to the Undertaker, his heart beating faster after seeing the girl. “If she accepts, who am I to come between the work of fate?” the man hinted, making Lau grin even wider.

It was all he needed to be sure that the girl that made a fool of him was actually the little Princess he loved so much. Oh, how she matured! Alas, she had to experience so many terrible things to make her so cold and harsh, unlike before!

But it’s no problem, he was going to heal her - After all, his little Pink Lotus mustn’t hold so much hatred towards the world! She should just be happy in indulge in anything that would make her smile! Let him bear the darkness of the world and worry about tomorrow.

---

After a bit of pushing from the Undertaker, seeing how uncertain she was, but she followed the man to his home, which she found out was above an underground opium den, which only made her even more reluctant to her next steps, but him putting his arm around her only made her feel a strange feeling of reassurance.

Is this Lau? Is this really HER Lau?

But what happened to him? His clothes changed...He even cut his hair...She wondered why would he have such short hair? And more, where his little sister would be?

She was afraid to ask anything, and was rather timid in replying to any of his trivial questions, until they got this his room, after he gave her a tour of the whole place, except the den, saying a lovely lady like her shouldn’t be exposed, at least right away, to drugs and dirty business.

“So, uhm...Why did you really call me here? I’m sure it wasn’t so you would give me a tour of your house or tell me what you do for a living.” she asked, shifting in place, not looking at him. “Why, my dear Pink Lotus, should I feel hurt that you don’t recognise me? Although, I have to say, so many years passed...And you became even more beautiful than before...I didn’t think that would be possible...Princess Lianyi.” he spoke in a low, fox-like voice, as he leaned down to her height, as she was so much smaller and delicate compared to him. “I...I did suspect it was you, but...Your hair...And Ran Mao...And...And your clothes...” she stammered over her words, looking down, her face warming up from emotion. “Only details, my dear. Besides, Ran Mao is here, at home, and she’s eager to see you as well. But until then, my darling, shouldn’t you tell me how much you missed me?” Lau grinned, extending his arms towards her, expecting a hug. “Did...You...Miss me...? Just like you said you would...?” she whispered, looking up at him with teary eyes, barely able to stop herself from jumping on him and never letting go. “You were on my mind every day so far.” he spoke gently, seeing her bottom lip quivering as she threw herself at him, holding him as tightly as her delicate arms could. “Don’t leave me again, Lau. It’s so terrible being alone, in such a huge world...” she managed to say, as she felt herself being picked up and gently laid on the bed. “I’m going nowhere, my dear. I made a promise with you, and my feelings haven’t changed. If anything, they’re more powerful than before.” he put a hand on her cheek, looking down at her, before putting his forehead to hers, while his other hand had his fingers intertwined with hers. “I love you so much, Lau...So much...I missed you...All this time you were away...” she closed her eyes briefly, as she felt his lips on hers, the electrifying feeling surging through her veins, just as it did the first time they kissed, many years ago. “Lianyi...Will you marry me? My life has been tied to the underworld for more years than I can remember, and no matter how much I want to keep you away from that, I can’t stay away from you. I’m no angel like you, and you deserve to be happy, but I can’t keep you away from all dangers and darkness.” he confessed, his voice serious, trying to bring her back to reality. “You...You’ve never called me by my name before...I...I would want nothing more than to stay by your side, no matter what. I don’t care what you’ve got yourself into, I just want to be with you. Yes, Lau, I’ll marry you, I’d love nothing more than to be able to stay in your arms and love you.” she put her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her in another kiss.

But just as they kissed again, the bedroom door opened, revealing Ran Mao looking at them with the same serene look as usual, making the princess push Lau to the side and throw herself at the girl that grew into such a fine, beautiful lady...But what the hell was she wearing...?!

“It’s nice to see you again, Lianyi.” she said, patting her back. “Ran Mao, goodness, I missed you so much...But what are you wearing?! Lau, why would you let her wear something so revealing?!” the princess freaked out, her face bright red in embarrassment. “This is the new fashion, my dear! Combining traditional with modern, we created the Cheongsam! All the girls below in the opium den are wearing it! It’s rather alluring, don’t you think?” Lau chuckled in amusement, putting his hands on her shoulders, resting his chin on her head. “But...But...But...” she stuttered, not knowing what to say. “We have one for you. It’s green with golden thread patterns, to highlight your eyes.” Ran Mao explained, going to fetch the dress, and seeing how short it was, the girl could feel her knees weakening. “I can’t wear that! That’s too revealing! Wh-What...W-Wait, Ran Mao, where are you pulling me?!” the girl pulled her in another room, alone, where she started quickly undressing her and helping her into the new dress, just a bit shorter than knee-length. “You’re beautiful. Now go, Lau is eager to see you.” Ran Mao dragged the flustered girl and pushed her back to the bedroom, as she could only hide her face in her hands. “My, my, what a gorgeous little Pink Lotus. Come here, my darling. I will show you how much I missed you.” Lau watched her shyly approach him, like a little lamb, before catching her wrists and putting her on his lap with the same teasing grin on his face. “This...This is so...Embarrassing...” she clutched her fingers on his messed up blouse as she hid her face in the crook of his shoulder. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the privilege of seeing in my life, Lianyi, and your shyness only makes you more endearing...It only makes me want you more. You managed to keep the same sweet and pure innocence, just as I thought you would...Wǒ ài nǐ  (I love you) , my dear Pink Lotus Princess.” he spoke, slowly tracing her legs, making his way up to her sides, her arms, before touching her face and bringing her in for a more passionate kiss that sent fire through her system. "I love you so much, Lau. I don’t care what you’ve got yourself into, but I will always stay by your side. Forever. I want to help you and support you with anything I can, just as you did for me.” she confessed, her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. “How would you feel helping me with the girls? That’s the least risky thing I can let you handle. But nonetheless, it would let us spend more time together, if that is what you truly wish.” he smiled vaguely, planting more and more kisses all over her face. “That would make me very happy.” she smiled, letting herself get lost in the warmth and love she felt, feeling their hearts beating so fast and in sync, as if they were one.

Who would have thought that fate would play such an important role in their life...They fought it, they escaped fate, only to let destiny reunite them both, just as the red string of fate would always bring them back together, nothing able to stop them.

Finally, they were in control of their own life.

They were together.

[liquidstar]

Hey anon! I’m posting this as a textpost because Tumblr formatted the ask weird when I tried to insert a readmore, so I’m just going to copypaste what I said there :p

DON’T be sorry for all the questions I love answering oc questions!!! But for the sake of not rambling too long and also making each answer easier to find, I’m going to answer them one by one instead of in a big essay lol… But it’s still kind of long so I’m going to cut it!

Can you tell me about Buttercup and Heather?

Buttercup grew up as a little rich girl who pretty much was always affirmed that she is special and one of a kind and completely unique and she’s meant for greatness, so she’s kind of spoiled and has an inflated ego, but she never really acts out of malice (unlike Heather) she just sees herself as the protagonist of the world (ironic, she’s a side character in class 3). But she doesn’t necessarily think that everything comes easily either, Buttercup is a smart girl and has worked very hard to get where she is today, and she does have very high standards for herself that she always works to meet. She just needs to step out of her own spotlight a bit. Also, fittingly, buttercup flowers symbolize ritches.

When Heather was a kid, her mother was a big and famous hotshot wizard, she idolized her mom more than anything in the world, she wanted to be a wizard like her, but things turned sour after a very bad marriage that left her mother unable to continue her career, and Heather felt betrayed by her mother when the illusion of a perfect hero was shattered because her mom didn’t protect her, but Heather doesn’t really understand her own feelings, she just sees her mother as a coward, and she claims she hates her but part of that is also just projection. Heather watched her mother lose control of her situation, and Heather as a child had NO control, so Heather became a bitter control-freak who condescends to people and pushes them around and is generally kind of just… Mean. The heather flowers symbolize admiration and good luck, but beyond that it should be obvious what else her name is a reference to (I mean she’s got the shoulder pads).

What’s their friendship like?

Honestly? It’s pretty shallow at first, they mostly just become friends because they both see each other as someone that’s worthy of hanging out with them, due to their mutually high standards, and a lot of their actual dynamic is kind of built on either building up their own image (Buttercup) or tearing others down (Heather). But at the same time they’re also both the closest thing to actual friends that the other has and there IS grounds for a genuine friendship to be formed if they would both kind of just loosen up and actually drop their acts.

When they hang out with Delphi what’s that like?

Delphi isn’t particularly close to either of them, but she does think they’re fun to hang out with specifically because she’s completely off her shit and absolutely lives for any semblance of drama, and both of them can honestly vibe with that but Delphi can also be… A lot. She can be kind of violent and vicious without a second thought, not in the high-school-mean-girl way that the other two are, like actually scary… She’s a lot. She’s better in small doses, so they don’t hang out with her too much, and they partly just want her around because it gives their little girlgroup a bit more of a fear factor, and Delphi knows this and honestly doesn’t care, she just wants to fuck shit up.

What do other people in their class them of them?

Class 3 came around to see Buttercup’s huge ego schtick as kind of charming after a while, like “oh haha that’s just Buttercup she’s at it again” but classes 2 and 1 aren’t used to dealing with her like they are. She’s generally pretty well liked on her own but if she’s with Heather it’s a different story

Heather is kind of just seen as a domineering bully, but class 3 doesn’t actually take her as seriously as she would like them to, aside from Lisia and Lotus who are kind of just pushovers. In Lisia’s case, Heather kind of fakes friends with her for her own benifit, and in Lotus’ case she’s actually outright cruel.

Delphi is the only one actually taken seriously because they all know that she wouldn’t hesitate on literally anything, so it’s generally better to just kind of stay out of her way and let her do her, because she herself won’t actually bother people without prompting… So their feelings on here are kind of neutral because they don’t know her, but still a bit anxious around her.

What’s their dynamics with their partners?

Heather’s partner is Celosia, an heir, who is 100% someone who lives up to the high standards that Heather has set so she has her respect, but Celosia isn’t someone who would be impressed by her being a bossy attitude, but she also isn’t someone who cares too much about the affairs of other so she doesn’t hold any particular moral grudges, so she just lets her keep acting Like That. They’re both people that are capable of working together because of their own determination, but they aren’t really friends. Heather has a few things to learn about ACTUAL leadership from Celosia, and Celosia kind of has to learn when to intervene and not be fully conflict avoidant.

Buttercup’s partner is Nep, who’s entire schtick is being a copycat (She has copy magic lol) so you can see how that’s kind of annoying for Buttercup to deal with, because her whole thing is that she’s a one of a kind, a diamond in the rough, the brightest star in the sky, but then Nep wants to mimic her simply by proxy of being around her… Clearly this causes a lot of contention between the two but ultimately they both need to learn the opposite lessons that the other should be able to teach them. You’re your own person but you’re not above anyone else. (mp100 voice: if everyone is not special maybe you can be what you want to be)

Delphi’s partner is Lisia who as mentioned before is kind of a pushover, so she’s intimidated by Delphi, but Delphi has no interest in taking advantage of her in any way… She just kind of lets her be, and if anything she wants to help her with her magic simply because Lisia can’t control it well even though it’s super powerful and Delphi TOTALLY wants to fight side by side with a potential powerhouse like that. Meanwhile Lisia has some lessons about like, compassion to impart, it’s like Delphi is Lisia’s physical instructor but Lisia is Delphi’s life coach, it’s actually a pretty mutually beneficial relationship.

How do their different types of magic work well/clash with each other?

Heather’s perfume magic is basically fragrance-based potion magic, with more or less the same applications with the added benefit of just needing people to smell it to take effect (Note: She’s immune to all of it, could be a good or bad thing depending on the perfume). And Celosia has straight-up fire magic, pretty self explanatory. Their magic types don’t particularly have a lot of overlap but certain perfumes work well with fire or could be used like gas to set on fire.

Buttercup has summoning magic, it’s a type of magic that allows her to make tangible projections of types of monsters she’s defeated, but of course they follow her commands (You know, like Pokemon) and Nep has copy magic, it basically lets her make copies of any non-living object she touches, which can include Buttercup’s projections! However there’s a limit to the amount of Projections Buttercup can control, and a limit to the amount of the amount of time any given copy will exist before disappearing (They’re not actually real, like Buttercup’s monsters they’re just projections too and will only stay around for a while, so sadly she can’t make counterfeit bills)

Delphi has water transformation magic, her body is made of water and of course this also comes with the added ability of hydrokinesis as a whole. Lisia has transformation magic, she has different sorts of forms she can transform into that come with different powers and abilities, but it all depends on her mood. When she transforms she gets a different outfit and her little horns become different shapes each time, the transformation that works the best with Delphi’s magic is the one that’s (sadly) based on the emotion of sadness, because it’s the one that also has hydrokinesis powers, but if they’d want to be a tagteam, the one based on anger has fire powers. Lisia is kind of insecure about her magic because she’s only ever really able to use it when she’s feeling that emotion very strongly, she hasn’t learned to just tap into it naturally yet, but don’t worry she’ll get there.

[imaultrabossbruh]

Answer 10 questions and come up with 10 more

Thank you @terassaras for tagging me! Her post is a fantastic read by the way; go check her out. It has been 50+ days since I have been tagged and I did not even notice… Really, bruh? *facepalm* I will answer these questions to the best of my ability. If you do not find me interesting, intriguing, or inspiring, feel free to bounce and no hard feelings taken °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°.

1. Favorite plant/flower?

I absolutely love the Lotus (nelumbo nucifera). I love that the Lotus symbolizes beauty, serenity, and purity. The soft petals settling on the surface of ponds put me at ease from my busy life. Not only is the Lotus my mother’s national flower but it can grow in the most muddiest areas and still bloom beautifully. You can also eat its seeds too; they are very delicious.  

2. Best thing to eat/drink on a hot day?

Oh, I will engulf myself in steamed rice cake with coconut and ice shaved che of any kind. These slightly sweeten desserts make you feel like you are in the midst of a winter storm. No fan/air conditioner required.

3. Tell me the weirdest color name you can find and show me! (Think: lemon curry, goblin blue, Caput mortuum, be creative!)

Flesh. It sounded so creepy that the Crayola producers had to change the name to peach. Worst of all, skin color primarily referred to the pale population.

4. Show me one object/merchandise you would shamelessly buy if money and shipping are not an issue.

I am sorry if I offend those who oppose animal cruelty and abuse; but I would collect animal furs, especially ones with their head, limbs, and tail intact. Being an animal lover myself, I do not want furs of endangered species, only species with large populations and roadkill.

5. If a fictional character can become real and do anything with/for you for one day, who would it be?

Damn it, only one? Better than nothing. Soft and cute, Piglet from Winnie the Pooh because we can paint together, make flower crowns for one another, write motivational phrases to each other, and play all day until it is time to go home. I just want to pick Piglet up and give him a fun piggy back ride on the shoulders. I hope that I do not scare him away with my height.

6. Time to explore a fantasy universe! Middle Earth? Steam punk nation? Desert dystopia where pirates roam? Describe a fantasy universe you want to explore!

A world full of marvelous gardens, of course! I have a deep passion for neat and tidy landscapes; I want to observe and record all kinds of species from birds, mammals, insects, fruits/vegetables, and flowers. Maybe a wild jungle or forest with gentle streams and lakes right behind the gardens to add a little bit of excitement in my explorations. I can even befriend an albino deer if I am lucky.

7. Time for serious questions. What is one thing you wish your parents know and understand about you?

Well, I have a fond and tight relationship with my mother; so, she already knows and understands me well. I do not recall any time that my mother has not cared for me and considered my wants and needs. In fact, we almost depend on each other to make good decisions; so, if either of us make a mistake, no heavy consequences would result. On the contrary, I hate my father to the point that I want him to go to the deepest depths of Hell and have Satan erase his existence after intense torment. Thus, I do not need his manipulating and deceiving ass to get to know me again. I do not even want to see his ugly, motherf*cking face.

8. One thing you wish your sibling(s) would do—or if no siblings, your best friend!

My siblings already do what I wish such as doing chores, completing my favors, studying hard, going to school, not hanging out with the wrong crowd, and expressing their beliefs with common sense. I only want them to do whatever they love and be the best they can be, my dear.  I know that one day, we will part ways and live separately; I want them to remain strong when life gets rough and relaxed when life gets light. However, I would not allow some jerks and idiots out there who degrade people out of jealously and envy to harm and hurt my siblings. If so, then they messed with the wrong family.

9. Tell me about the best teacher/mentor you’ve ever had. They don’t have to be from school. Or if all your teachers have been a-holes, tell me about what you think good teachers should be like.

I have so many but the best one in my book is my Honors Anatomy instructor, Mrs. Duncan. Even though she is in her 50’s-60’s, she is still in good shape. She made teaching look so easy, especially since her students had to know every body part of each system from its location to its function. Besides the fact that she has never scorned me, she wanted to know each and one of her students. She was not a counselor, but she was willing to listen to my life troubles while comforting me with her advice. Along with my mother, she was also supported my desire to go into the medical field. I doubted my potential to become a scientist/doctor, but after having her as my teacher, my confidence has gone through the ceiling until I realized that there are always going to be people who are smarter than me. So, I got to sit down and be humble, you know.

10. Death comes knocking on your door one day and after telling you that it’s not your time yet, magically grants you with the irresistible will to live for the rest of your life. What would you want to do with your life, if money/culture/expectations were not an issue? What feels ideal to do with your life?

I have not thought about my ideal life. Money, culture, and expectations are not big problems in my life because they are not hard to deal with. My income may be low, but I am still living luxurious life, my culture is so broad that there is enough time to know and practice all of it, and I am able to set expectations that I am comfortable with. I like to adapt to situations I normally would not in order to test my limits and my ability to learn more. I would complete my bucket list like scuba diving, skydiving, drawing an epic piece of art, traveling and touring, sleeping in for a month or two, saving lives from diseases, and watching a dying star explode.  Most of all, my life should be spent in peace and quiet; I do not want to leave the mortal world in a violent and depressing state. Not good thing.

Please excuse the length of the long post. Σ(ﾟдﾟ；)

Here are some silly questions for some of my tagged folk: @deafeningsandwichfun, @dil-a-to-ry, @hazyafter-glow, @aria-haru, @kaminugget, @sakwma, and @i-dedicate-this-kill-to-the-fans. Anyone looking at or reading this is automatically tagged.

1. If animals could talk, including your food and pets, which would be the rudest?

2. What was the weirdest thing you have seen, appropriate or not,  in someone else’s home?

3. What would be the worst thing for the government to make illegal? It could be extreme as Venezuela and North Korea.

4. I know we are supposed to love ourselves for who we are. But, which body part do you wish you could detach and why?

5. If you were held at gun point and told that if you didn’t impress them with your dance moves, then you would be killed, what dance moves would you bust out to save your life?

6. What would be the creepiest thing you could say or do while passing a stranger on the street in the middle of the night?

7. If you were transported 400 years into the past with no clothes, technology, or anything else, how would you prove that you were from the future?

8. If someone asked to be your apprentice and learn all that you know, what would you teach them?

9. Because life is such a huge video game, what would some of the cheat codes be?

10. What would be the worst and best “buy one, get one free” sale of all time?

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/how-to-channel-durga-during-challenging-times/

How to Channel Durga During Challenging Times

The warrior goddess Durga can help you find the leader within. Here’s how to call on her when you need to feel empowered.

Monica Moreno Art

Five years ago, Lynda opened a yoga studio in an inner-city neighborhood in a big east-coast city. A recovering alcoholic, Lynda saw the studio as her public service, a way to reach out to other young women who might otherwise lead troubled lives. She used donations as well as money from her sessions with private clients to pay the rent, and she advertised free yoga classes for high school girls. Slowly her classes filled up, often with girls who had no place to go in the afternoon after school. 

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Teaching these vulnerable, skeptical, wounded young women was challenging for Lynda. One night, after a particularly tough day, she dreamed of a beautiful woman mounted on a huge roaring lion. When she awoke, she realized that the image she had seen was reminiscent of Durga, the warrior goddess of Indian mythology. That day, guiding an especially restless group of girls into the Warrior sequence, she began to tell them about Durga. The girls were entranced. One of them asked Lynda to download a picture of Durga from the Internet for her. “I want to make a T-shirt,” she said. “That lady is my hero.”

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“When she said that,” Lynda told me, “I realized that it was true for me, too. The image of Durga has been showing up in my dreams ever since. She’s the image I carry with me when I have to deal with my landlord or handle one of those girls when she’s disrupting the class. In some way, the image of Durga has become a symbol of the strength I need to keep this thing going.”

Lynda is not the only yogi I know who identifies with Durga. The image of this goddess riding her lion, her eight arms holding weapons and flowers, might be the avatar for empowerment and protection, especially for women. Those of us who juggle families, jobs, and yoga; who step up to support the environment; or who travel to storm-torn cities to help build housing for displaced families are living out a contemporary version of the legend of Durga. And for men as well as women, meditation on Durga can bring forth warrior-like strength and protective compassion. When you bring her image into your inner world, she can empower your most radical aspirations and guide you through your most conflict-ridden life dramas. More than that, Durga embodies the inner power to transform yourself—to let go of addictions, obstacles, and the illusions and fears that hold you back.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

Bring Goddess Power Into Your Meditation Practice with Durga

You may wonder why, as a contemporary yogi, you’d find it worthwhile to invite the energy of mythic beings into your meditation practice. The short answer is that these archetypal energies are catalysts. Meditating on deities such as Durga, Hanuman, Shiva, and Lakshmi can call forth specific powers and qualities within you. These sacred powers come to you from beyond your limited ego and can help you meet challenges, open your heart, and transcend the ordinary. For centuries, the Indian and Tibetan Tantric traditions have taught meditations and mantras for bringing deity energy into the body and mind. Goddesses are especially potent, since they personify shakti, the subtle feminine force that enlivens the world, often considered the power behind spiritual growth. So practicing with the stories and mantras of one of these sacred figures can literally invite transformative energies into your life.

The images of these goddesses can serve as keys to unlocking your own inner potency. That’s because, though mythic, they are not just figments of human imagination. Goddess images represent real forces present in the universe. Their forms are extremely subtle, which is why they’re not normally apparent. Through the tales, meditations, and mantras associated with them, you can learn to sense their presence. The more you connect to them, the more palpably you can experience their inner gifts and blessings.

Just as Lakshmi is the shakti, or goddess, you call on for abundance, so Durga is the shakti you call on for strength, protection, and transformation. Worshipped by the ruling families of Rajasthan for help in battle, Durga is much more than a warrior goddess. She is also the power behind spiritual awakening, the inner force that unleashes spiritual power within the human body in the form of kundalini. And she is a guardian: beautiful, queenly, and motherly.

See also A 90-Minute Yoga Playlist to Awaken Your Inner Warrior

Durga carries a spear, a mace, a discus, a bow, and a sword—as well as a conch (symbolizing creative sound), a lotus (representing fertility), and a rosary (symbolizing prayer). In one version of her origin, she arises from the combined strength of the male gods to fight the buffalo demon Mahisha. The assembled gods, furious because they are powerless over this demon, send forth their anger as a mass of light and power. It coalesces into the form of a radiantly beautiful woman who fills every direction with her light. Her face was formed out of the light of Shiva; her hair came from Yama, the god of death; Vishnu, the sustainer, gave her arms. Shiva gave her his trident, Vishnu his discus; Vayu—the wind god—offered his bow and arrow. The mountain god, Himalaya, gave her a lion for her mount. Durga sets forth to battle the demon for the sake of the world, armed with all the powers of the divine masculine.

And ever since, she has been the deity to call on when you’re in deep trouble. In the Devi Mahatmyam (Triumph of the Goddess), a medieval song cycle about Durga that is still recited all over India, she promises that she will always appear when we need her to protect our world. She invites us to turn to her in crisis and promises to move mountains to rescue us from every form of evil—including the evil we, ourselves, create!

Learn how to tap into your inner strength with Durga.

Durga Slaying demons

In fact, in the tales of Durga, the demons she battles are not just external bad guys. They also represent the inner obstructive forces we face in our journey to enlightenment and self-actualization. So, as you read her story, think of it not just as a superhero saga but also as a parable about the process of inner work. Consider that it is showing you how to dissolve the negative energies of fear, greed, and anger so that you can stand in your essential strength and beauty. Your inner battle may not be as dramatic as this one. But it’s going on, nonetheless!

Shumbha and Nishumbha are brilliant demon brothers with magical superpowers. They’ve practiced hard austerities in order to earn a boon, or benefit, from their cosmic grandfather, Brahma. The boon makes them unconquerable by men or gods, but Brahma has been careful to word the boon so that it contains a loophole: It says nothing about a goddess.

The demon brothers are soon masters of the universe. They eject the gods from the celestial regions and enslave the inhabitants of the earth. The gods are reduced to hiding in caves, plotting revenge. But finally, a sage reveals to them that the demons have a weakness. 

Though Shumbha and Nishumbha can’t be conquered by anyone male, they might be vulnerable to a female warrior. So the gods travel to the mountain where Durga has her hidden dwelling to ask her for help.

See also Oh My Goddess: Invoking Your Inner Feminine Energy

As they call out to her with prayers and hymns of praise, Durga appears out of the clouds, clothed in robes whose colors shift and slip, revealing and concealing the beauty of her breasts and the curve of her belly. An erotic perfume surrounds her. She rides a lion.

In a voice like soft thunder rumbling through mountains, she agrees to intervene and restore the balance. The goddess has no sooner spoken than she has transported herself to the demon kings’ garden. Flowers drip from her fingers, and clouds form and dissolve in her hair. She is beauty personified, allurement clothed in form, enchantment itself. Within moments, the demon kings have come to their windows to look at her. They are connoisseurs of feminine beauty. Of course, they want her in their harem.

But when the palace major-domo brings the demons’ proposal to Durga, she smiles. “There is just one difficulty,” she explains. “In my girlhood, I took a silly vow that I would only marry a man strong enough to defeat me in battle. You know how girls are—full of fantasy and romantic notions. But a vow is a vow. If your masters really want me, they’ll have to fight with me.”

“Lady, you are either mad or suicidal,” says the major-domo. “No one has ever defeated my masters.”

“Nonetheless, that is my condition,” says Durga, giving him such a languorous glance that he feels stirrings of lust in every part of his body. “And if your masters are afraid to do battle, I am happy to take on their army.”

Which she does. In an intense battle, the goddess defeats battalion after battalion. At one point, a host of goddesses emerge from her body, including the fearsome Kali. Together, the goddesses destroy the entire demon army, leaving only the brothers. Shumbha advances upon Durga.

“You said that you would fight my army single-handed,” shouts Shumbha in a voice so loud it shakes the nearby hills to powder. “But you had helpers. Your challenge is forfeit.”

“Not so,” roars the goddess, vibrating the sky with celestial thunder. “These goddesses are parts of me.” The other goddesses melt back into her form, leaving just Durga, shining with an almost blinding light.

The goddess’s eight-armed form swells until it fills the sky. Twirling her great sword like a baton in one hand and her axes, maces, spears, and crossbows in the others, she flies through the air and slays the demon kings.

“Ma,” says Shumbha with his dying breath, and then a smile comes over his face as the ecstasy of the goddess fills his being. In that instant, both demons are transfigured, dissolving into Durga’s body and dying into the mystery. When the ego dissolves, even the most demonic soul comes home, back to the heart of the mother. Durga returns to her mountain home, promising to return when there is need for her help.

See also The Goddess Every Vinyasa Flow Fan Must Know

How to use Durga to let go of ego

This tale makes sense on several levels. From the point of view of the environment, it’s a story about the unstoppable power of nature. From another perspective, it assures us that higher powers will protect us when we take refuge in them. But on the esoteric level, the Durga story is about the transformation of the ego. The mighty battle between Durga and the demons is the inner struggle that invariably begins when we undertake real transformative practice.

Like those demon kings, the ego enters into spiritual practice with its own secret agenda. Egos seek control—control over circumstances, control over the body, and control over the people around us. Power and mastery are what matter to the ego. So, naturally, the ego will resist surrendering to higher powers, letting go of its agendas, or giving up control on any level. But shakti has a different agenda. She wants to move us away from egocentric consciousness and recognize our fundamental oneness with one another and the cosmos. To do this, she must put the ego in its place and ultimately dissolve it. The ego, however, will fight her to the death.

The demons personify the more primitive and intransigent forces of ego. They are the parts of us that unabashedly crave power over others. The demonic part of the self sees everything and everyone, including the higher powers of the universe, as tools that serve the ego’s personal agendas. The gods, as we’ve mentioned, also represent aspects of the self, but they represent the authentic Self, the unique personal qualities of essence. The devas represent our love, our dedication, our good intentions, and the forgiveness and compassion we display when we’re aligned with the higher Self. Durga arrives in our inner world to strengthen those higher qualities, whether for the sake of accomplishing good in the world or for progress on the spiritual path.

As postmodern practitioners, we usually prefer to take a gentler attitude toward our dark side. Most of us long ago rejected authoritarian religion, with its talk of sin and insistence on eliminating the darker forces within us.

If we are practitioners of a path that emphasizes our innate goodness, we might prefer to ignore the negative qualities in the self on the principle that fighting the ego only strengthens it. If we’re psychodynamically oriented, we might be interested in bringing our shadow qualities into the light so we can integrate the power tied up in anger or greed or pride. If we are walking a nondual path, we may feel that all struggle has to be given up, since everything is ultimately one.

See also Slow Flow: Learn to Live from Love with a Brahma Vihara

All these approaches are useful, some on the level of personality, others as part of the practice for enlightenment. But there are moments when the only way to put our narcissism in its place is with a sword—the sword of wisdom wielded by a warrior who takes no prisoners. This is Durga’s role, whether she is operating in the outer world or the inner world.

In my life, the energy of the warrior goddess with her upraised sword shows up to remind me to get my striving, performance-oriented ego out of the way so that the deeper power can unfold my life according to her evolutionary imperative. Durga, in my inner world, is the unstoppable energy of spiritual growth. When I resist that, I often encounter an unexpected setback. She might get in my face as a kind of cosmic “No!” to my personal agendas—and then manifest as the deeper awakening that follows when I am able to let them go.

Over the years, I’ve been through this cycle often. At times, egoic illusions grow bigger, pile up, and take over my world—until, like a river in springtime, they become so swollen that they must come bursting forth. Then, nearly always, I hear the roar of the goddess’s lion sounding through my dreams.

Perhaps Durga shows up to guide me through an impasse. Maybe I’ll make some horrific mistake, and she’ll appear to help me navigate the consequences. More and more, I’ve learned in those moments to bow to her in order to spare myself the pain that comes from resistance to the shakti’s agenda for my growth.

Whenever you feel yourself caught in one of those moments—when your personal will seems blocked by immovable obstacles—consider that it might be a signal from the shakti. Then, try sitting for a few minutes in meditation and using your imagination to bring yourself into the presence of Durga.

Connect with the goddess Durga through breath work and meditation.

Finding Your Ferocity with Durga

One of the most powerful practices for connecting with the goddess is to imagine that with each inhalation, you draw in her loving, protecting, empowering energy, and with each exhalation you breathe her energy through your body. As in so much yoga practice, the breath is the bridge between our physical self and the subtle energies of the invisible worlds. When you invoke Durga, you may very well feel her as a heightened energy. But connecting to Durga’s energy is just as likely to result in a subtle feeling of greater insight, in a feeling of being supported with strength to carry on during a hard time, or in the strategic instinct that helps you win your battles. This can happen so subtly that it’s only in hindsight that you realize you were being supported. And this can happen in surprising ways.

Sasha, a lawyer and the mother of two girls, first discovered the Durga shakti when her daughter Lee began failing in school. It turned out that Sasha’s husband, Lee’s father, was engaging his daughter sexually. Sasha vowed that, whatever it took, she would protect her daughters. She filed for divorce, insisting that her husband not be allowed unsupervised visits with their girls. He fought hard for joint custody, deploying a high-powered legal team. (Though a lawyer herself, Sasha’s field is wills and trusts, and she had never litigated.)

In the midst of this, Sasha took a class I was teaching on the goddesses. She felt an immediate affinity for Durga and created a meditation in which she imagined Durga’s strength inside her own body. She would visualize each of Durga’s eight arms holding a particular power. In one hand, she imagined the power to use words skillfully. In another, the power to read financial statements with care. In another, the skill to face down her husband’s lawyers. She imagined all of Durga’s weapons as energies empowering her to protect her two daughters.

See also Goddess Yoga Project: Defeat Fear With Sword Breath

She won the case and, soon afterward, realized that an enormous weight had been lifted from Lee. The fact that Sasha had fought on her daughter’s behalf seemed to give the teenager a sense of purpose and a new understanding of her own feminine strength.

Like Sasha, any one of us can tune into our personal Durga strength by invoking the goddess’s energy and wisdom. As you do, you’ll likely discover your personal capacity for warrior-style leadership. Anyone in touch with her inner Durga will naturally create zones of protection around the people in her life. (Durga is also an effortless multitasker, like a mother who manages three children while cooking a five-course meal—or an executive running a team of diverse employees.)

The Durga woman makes space for people to flourish, fighting their battles when needed—as Sasha did for her daughters—but she is just as likely to push them into fighting for themselves.

Answer Durga’s Call to Lead

One way to feel a sense of the Durga shakti is to remember a moment when you recognized, from the deepest place inside you, that something was wrong, that it had to change. If that recognition comes from the Durga shakti, it goes beyond mere frustration or cognitive awareness of a social problem. Durga’s transformative power carries a conviction that comes from deep inside the body, and with it often comes a sense of “Now!”—meaning the time is now. When that sense is strong enough, it is followed by action. You will put your body and your speech on the line to change the situation, whether it’s internal or external.

One of my Durga friends in Los Angeles noticed that her son’s asthma was activated when local crops were being sprayed for pests. She organized a group of mothers to protest aerial spraying in her area, and after several years, the group not only had it banned in Los Angeles, but also had the pesticide removed from circulation entirely. Now, along with her day job as a psychotherapist, she runs an environmental group focused on lobbying against airborne pesticides.

The same power of purposeful action can be invoked when you need the will to change a deep-seated habit or addiction, to carve out time for practice, or to follow an inner calling. The Durga shakti can give you the power to face parts of yourself that stand in the way of your evolution, but she can also show you how to speak up for yourself when you need to ask for a raise, face a challenge, or take on a difficult responsibility—in short, to set things right.

The more you invite Durga’s energy into your life, the more you’ll feel her opening you to your inner warrior. Her power guards your highest aspirations, and she promises never to let you down.

See also 5 Ways to Tap Into Your Inner Leader (and Stay True to Yourself)

About the Author Sally Kempton is an internationally recognized teacher of meditation and yoga philosophy and the author of Meditation for the Love of It. Find her at sallykempton.com.

This piece originally appeared in the June 2013 issue of Yoga Journal and is adapted from Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga (Sounds True, 2013).

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This legendary goddess can help empower your aspirations and call forth the leader within.

The warrior goddess Durga can help you find the leader within. Here's how to call on her when you need to feel empowered.

Five years ago, Lynda opened a yoga studio in an inner-city neighborhood in a big east-coast city. A recovering alcoholic, Lynda saw the studio as her public service, a way to reach out to other young women who might otherwise lead troubled lives. She used donations as well as money from her sessions with private clients to pay the rent, and she advertised free yoga classes for high school girls. Slowly her classes filled up, often with girls who had no place to go in the afternoon after school. 

Teaching these vulnerable, skeptical, wounded young women was challenging for Lynda. One night, after a particularly tough day, she dreamed of a beautiful woman mounted on a huge roaring lion. When she awoke, she realized that the image she had seen was reminiscent of Durga, the warrior goddess of Indian mythology. That day, guiding an especially restless group of girls into the Warrior sequence, she began to tell them about Durga. The girls were entranced. One of them asked Lynda to download a picture of Durga from the Internet for her. “I want to make a T-shirt,” she said. “That lady is my hero.”

“When she said that,” Lynda told me, “I realized that it was true for me, too. The image of Durga has been showing up in my dreams ever since. She’s the image I carry with me when I have to deal with my landlord or handle one of those girls when she’s disrupting the class. In some way, the image of Durga has become a symbol of the strength I need to keep this thing going.”

Lynda is not the only yogi I know who identifies with Durga. The image of this goddess riding her lion, her eight arms holding weapons and flowers, might be the avatar for empowerment and protection, especially for women. Those of us who juggle families, jobs, and yoga; who step up to support the environment; or who travel to storm-torn cities to help build housing for displaced families are living out a contemporary version of the legend of Durga. And for men as well as women, meditation on Durga can bring forth warrior-like strength and protective compassion. When you bring her image into your inner world, she can empower your most radical aspirations and guide you through your most conflict-ridden life dramas. More than that, Durga embodies the inner power to transform yourself—to let go of addictions, obstacles, and the illusions and fears that hold you back.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

Bring Goddess Power Into Your Meditation Practice with Durga

You may wonder why, as a contemporary yogi, you’d find it worthwhile to invite the energy of mythic beings into your meditation practice. The short answer is that these archetypal energies are catalysts. Meditating on deities such as Durga, Hanuman, Shiva, and Lakshmi can call forth specific powers and qualities within you. These sacred powers come to you from beyond your limited ego and can help you meet challenges, open your heart, and transcend the ordinary. For centuries, the Indian and Tibetan Tantric traditions have taught meditations and mantras for bringing deity energy into the body and mind. Goddesses are especially potent, since they personify shakti, the subtle feminine force that enlivens the world, often considered the power behind spiritual growth. So practicing with the stories and mantras of one of these sacred figures can literally invite transformative energies into your life.

The images of these goddesses can serve as keys to unlocking your own inner potency. That’s because, though mythic, they are not just figments of human imagination. Goddess images represent real forces present in the universe. Their forms are extremely subtle, which is why they’re not normally apparent. Through the tales, meditations, and mantras associated with them, you can learn to sense their presence. The more you connect to them, the more palpably you can experience their inner gifts and blessings.

Just as Lakshmi is the shakti, or goddess, you call on for abundance, so Durga is the shakti you call on for strength, protection, and transformation. Worshipped by the ruling families of Rajasthan for help in battle, Durga is much more than a warrior goddess. She is also the power behind spiritual awakening, the inner force that unleashes spiritual power within the human body in the form of kundalini. And she is a guardian: beautiful, queenly, and motherly.

See also A 90-Minute Yoga Playlist to Awaken Your Inner Warrior

Durga carries a spear, a mace, a discus, a bow, and a sword—as well as a conch (symbolizing creative sound), a lotus (representing fertility), and a rosary (symbolizing prayer). In one version of her origin, she arises from the combined strength of the male gods to fight the buffalo demon Mahisha. The assembled gods, furious because they are powerless over this demon, send forth their anger as a mass of light and power. It coalesces into the form of a radiantly beautiful woman who fills every direction with her light. Her face was formed out of the light of Shiva; her hair came from Yama, the god of death; Vishnu, the sustainer, gave her arms. Shiva gave her his trident, Vishnu his discus; Vayu—the wind god—offered his bow and arrow. The mountain god, Himalaya, gave her a lion for her mount. Durga sets forth to battle the demon for the sake of the world, armed with all the powers of the divine masculine.

And ever since, she has been the deity to call on when you’re in deep trouble. In the Devi Mahatmyam (Triumph of the Goddess), a medieval song cycle about Durga that is still recited all over India, she promises that she will always appear when we need her to protect our world. She invites us to turn to her in crisis and promises to move mountains to rescue us from every form of evil—including the evil we, ourselves, create!

Learn how to tap into your inner strength with Durga.

Durga Slaying demons

In fact, in the tales of Durga, the demons she battles are not just external bad guys. They also represent the inner obstructive forces we face in our journey to enlightenment and self-actualization. So, as you read her story, think of it not just as a superhero saga but also as a parable about the process of inner work. Consider that it is showing you how to dissolve the negative energies of fear, greed, and anger so that you can stand in your essential strength and beauty. Your inner battle may not be as dramatic as this one. But it’s going on, nonetheless!

Shumbha and Nishumbha are brilliant demon brothers with magical superpowers. They’ve practiced hard austerities in order to earn a boon, or benefit, from their cosmic grandfather, Brahma. The boon makes them unconquerable by men or gods, but Brahma has been careful to word the boon so that it contains a loophole: It says nothing about a goddess.

The demon brothers are soon masters of the universe. They eject the gods from the celestial regions and enslave the inhabitants of the earth. The gods are reduced to hiding in caves, plotting revenge. But finally, a sage reveals to them that the demons have a weakness. 

Though Shumbha and Nishumbha can’t be conquered by anyone male, they might be vulnerable to a female warrior. So the gods travel to the mountain where Durga has her hidden dwelling to ask her for help.

See also Oh My Goddess: Invoking Your Inner Feminine Energy

As they call out to her with prayers and hymns of praise, Durga appears out of the clouds, clothed in robes whose colors shift and slip, revealing and concealing the beauty of her breasts and the curve of her belly. An erotic perfume surrounds her. She rides a lion.

In a voice like soft thunder rumbling through mountains, she agrees to intervene and restore the balance. The goddess has no sooner spoken than she has transported herself to the demon kings’ garden. Flowers drip from her fingers, and clouds form and dissolve in her hair. She is beauty personified, allurement clothed in form, enchantment itself. Within moments, the demon kings have come to their windows to look at her. They are connoisseurs of feminine beauty. Of course, they want her in their harem.

But when the palace major-domo brings the demons’ proposal to Durga, she smiles. “There is just one difficulty,” she explains. “In my girlhood, I took a silly vow that I would only marry a man strong enough to defeat me in battle. You know how girls are—full of fantasy and romantic notions. But a vow is a vow. If your masters really want me, they’ll have to fight with me.”

“Lady, you are either mad or suicidal,” says the major-domo. “No one has ever defeated my masters.”

“Nonetheless, that is my condition,” says Durga, giving him such a languorous glance that he feels stirrings of lust in every part of his body. “And if your masters are afraid to do battle, I am happy to take on their army.”

Which she does. In an intense battle, the goddess defeats battalion after battalion. At one point, a host of goddesses emerge from her body, including the fearsome Kali. Together, the goddesses destroy the entire demon army, leaving only the brothers. Shumbha advances upon Durga.

“You said that you would fight my army single-handed,” shouts Shumbha in a voice so loud it shakes the nearby hills to powder. “But you had helpers. Your challenge is forfeit.”

“Not so,” roars the goddess, vibrating the sky with celestial thunder. “These goddesses are parts of me.” The other goddesses melt back into her form, leaving just Durga, shining with an almost blinding light.

The goddess’s eight-armed form swells until it fills the sky. Twirling her great sword like a baton in one hand and her axes, maces, spears, and crossbows in the others, she flies through the air and slays the demon kings.

“Ma,” says Shumbha with his dying breath, and then a smile comes over his face as the ecstasy of the goddess fills his being. In that instant, both demons are transfigured, dissolving into Durga’s body and dying into the mystery. When the ego dissolves, even the most demonic soul comes home, back to the heart of the mother. Durga returns to her mountain home, promising to return when there is need for her help.

See also The Goddess Every Vinyasa Flow Fan Must Know

How to use Durga to let go of ego

This tale makes sense on several levels. From the point of view of the environment, it’s a story about the unstoppable power of nature. From another perspective, it assures us that higher powers will protect us when we take refuge in them. But on the esoteric level, the Durga story is about the transformation of the ego. The mighty battle between Durga and the demons is the inner struggle that invariably begins when we undertake real transformative practice.

Like those demon kings, the ego enters into spiritual practice with its own secret agenda. Egos seek control—control over circumstances, control over the body, and control over the people around us. Power and mastery are what matter to the ego. So, naturally, the ego will resist surrendering to higher powers, letting go of its agendas, or giving up control on any level. But shakti has a different agenda. She wants to move us away from egocentric consciousness and recognize our fundamental oneness with one another and the cosmos. To do this, she must put the ego in its place and ultimately dissolve it. The ego, however, will fight her to the death.

The demons personify the more primitive and intransigent forces of ego. They are the parts of us that unabashedly crave power over others. The demonic part of the self sees everything and everyone, including the higher powers of the universe, as tools that serve the ego’s personal agendas. The gods, as we’ve mentioned, also represent aspects of the self, but they represent the authentic Self, the unique personal qualities of essence. The devas represent our love, our dedication, our good intentions, and the forgiveness and compassion we display when we’re aligned with the higher Self. Durga arrives in our inner world to strengthen those higher qualities, whether for the sake of accomplishing good in the world or for progress on the spiritual path.

As postmodern practitioners, we usually prefer to take a gentler attitude toward our dark side. Most of us long ago rejected authoritarian religion, with its talk of sin and insistence on eliminating the darker forces within us.

If we are practitioners of a path that emphasizes our innate goodness, we might prefer to ignore the negative qualities in the self on the principle that fighting the ego only strengthens it. If we’re psychodynamically oriented, we might be interested in bringing our shadow qualities into the light so we can integrate the power tied up in anger or greed or pride. If we are walking a nondual path, we may feel that all struggle has to be given up, since everything is ultimately one.

See also Slow Flow: Learn to Live from Love with a Brahma Vihara

All these approaches are useful, some on the level of personality, others as part of the practice for enlightenment. But there are moments when the only way to put our narcissism in its place is with a sword—the sword of wisdom wielded by a warrior who takes no prisoners. This is Durga’s role, whether she is operating in the outer world or the inner world.

In my life, the energy of the warrior goddess with her upraised sword shows up to remind me to get my striving, performance-oriented ego out of the way so that the deeper power can unfold my life according to her evolutionary imperative. Durga, in my inner world, is the unstoppable energy of spiritual growth. When I resist that, I often encounter an unexpected setback. She might get in my face as a kind of cosmic “No!” to my personal agendas—and then manifest as the deeper awakening that follows when I am able to let them go.

Over the years, I’ve been through this cycle often. At times, egoic illusions grow bigger, pile up, and take over my world—until, like a river in springtime, they become so swollen that they must come bursting forth. Then, nearly always, I hear the roar of the goddess’s lion sounding through my dreams.

Perhaps Durga shows up to guide me through an impasse. Maybe I’ll make some horrific mistake, and she’ll appear to help me navigate the consequences. More and more, I’ve learned in those moments to bow to her in order to spare myself the pain that comes from resistance to the shakti’s agenda for my growth.

Whenever you feel yourself caught in one of those moments—when your personal will seems blocked by immovable obstacles—consider that it might be a signal from the shakti. Then, try sitting for a few minutes in meditation and using your imagination to bring yourself into the presence of Durga.

Connect with the goddess Durga through breath work and meditation.

Finding Your Ferocity with Durga

One of the most powerful practices for connecting with the goddess is to imagine that with each inhalation, you draw in her loving, protecting, empowering energy, and with each exhalation you breathe her energy through your body. As in so much yoga practice, the breath is the bridge between our physical self and the subtle energies of the invisible worlds. When you invoke Durga, you may very well feel her as a heightened energy. But connecting to Durga’s energy is just as likely to result in a subtle feeling of greater insight, in a feeling of being supported with strength to carry on during a hard time, or in the strategic instinct that helps you win your battles. This can happen so subtly that it’s only in hindsight that you realize you were being supported. And this can happen in surprising ways.

Sasha, a lawyer and the mother of two girls, first discovered the Durga shakti when her daughter Lee began failing in school. It turned out that Sasha’s husband, Lee’s father, was engaging his daughter sexually. Sasha vowed that, whatever it took, she would protect her daughters. She filed for divorce, insisting that her husband not be allowed unsupervised visits with their girls. He fought hard for joint custody, deploying a high-powered legal team. (Though a lawyer herself, Sasha’s field is wills and trusts, and she had never litigated.)

In the midst of this, Sasha took a class I was teaching on the goddesses. She felt an immediate affinity for Durga and created a meditation in which she imagined Durga’s strength inside her own body. She would visualize each of Durga’s eight arms holding a particular power. In one hand, she imagined the power to use words skillfully. In another, the power to read financial statements with care. In another, the skill to face down her husband’s lawyers. She imagined all of Durga’s weapons as energies empowering her to protect her two daughters.

See also Goddess Yoga Project: Defeat Fear With Sword Breath

She won the case and, soon afterward, realized that an enormous weight had been lifted from Lee. The fact that Sasha had fought on her daughter’s behalf seemed to give the teenager a sense of purpose and a new understanding of her own feminine strength.

Like Sasha, any one of us can tune into our personal Durga strength by invoking the goddess’s energy and wisdom. As you do, you’ll likely discover your personal capacity for warrior-style leadership. Anyone in touch with her inner Durga will naturally create zones of protection around the people in her life. (Durga is also an effortless multitasker, like a mother who manages three children while cooking a five-course meal—or an executive running a team of diverse employees.)

The Durga woman makes space for people to flourish, fighting their battles when needed—as Sasha did for her daughters—but she is just as likely to push them into fighting for themselves.

Answer Durga's Call to Lead

One way to feel a sense of the Durga shakti is to remember a moment when you recognized, from the deepest place inside you, that something was wrong, that it had to change. If that recognition comes from the Durga shakti, it goes beyond mere frustration or cognitive awareness of a social problem. Durga’s transformative power carries a conviction that comes from deep inside the body, and with it often comes a sense of “Now!”—meaning the time is now. When that sense is strong enough, it is followed by action. You will put your body and your speech on the line to change the situation, whether it’s internal or external.

One of my Durga friends in Los Angeles noticed that her son’s asthma was activated when local crops were being sprayed for pests. She organized a group of mothers to protest aerial spraying in her area, and after several years, the group not only had it banned in Los Angeles, but also had the pesticide removed from circulation entirely. Now, along with her day job as a psychotherapist, she runs an environmental group focused on lobbying against airborne pesticides.

The same power of purposeful action can be invoked when you need the will to change a deep-seated habit or addiction, to carve out time for practice, or to follow an inner calling. The Durga shakti can give you the power to face parts of yourself that stand in the way of your evolution, but she can also show you how to speak up for yourself when you need to ask for a raise, face a challenge, or take on a difficult responsibility—in short, to set things right.

The more you invite Durga’s energy into your life, the more you’ll feel her opening you to your inner warrior. Her power guards your highest aspirations, and she promises never to let you down.

See also 5 Ways to Tap Into Your Inner Leader (and Stay True to Yourself)

About the Author Sally Kempton is an internationally recognized teacher of meditation and yoga philosophy and the author of Meditation for the Love of It. Find her at sallykempton.com. This piece originally appeared in the June 2013 issue of Yoga Journal and is adapted from Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga (Sounds True, 2013).

[chocolate-brownies]

How to Channel Durga During Challenging Times

How to Channel Durga During Challenging Times:

This legendary goddess can help empower your aspirations and call forth the leader within.

The warrior goddess Durga can help you find the leader within. Here’s how to call on her when you need to feel empowered.

Five years ago, Lynda opened a yoga studio in an inner-city neighborhood in a big east-coast city. A recovering alcoholic, Lynda saw the studio as her public service, a way to reach out to other young women who might otherwise lead troubled lives. She used donations as well as money from her sessions with private clients to pay the rent, and she advertised free yoga classes for high school girls. Slowly her classes filled up, often with girls who had no place to go in the afternoon after school. 

Teaching these vulnerable, skeptical, wounded young women was challenging for Lynda. One night, after a particularly tough day, she dreamed of a beautiful woman mounted on a huge roaring lion. When she awoke, she realized that the image she had seen was reminiscent of Durga, the warrior goddess of Indian mythology. That day, guiding an especially restless group of girls into the Warrior sequence, she began to tell them about Durga. The girls were entranced. One of them asked Lynda to download a picture of Durga from the Internet for her. “I want to make a T-shirt,” she said. “That lady is my hero.”

“When she said that,” Lynda told me, “I realized that it was true for me, too. The image of Durga has been showing up in my dreams ever since. She’s the image I carry with me when I have to deal with my landlord or handle one of those girls when she’s disrupting the class. In some way, the image of Durga has become a symbol of the strength I need to keep this thing going.”

Lynda is not the only yogi I know who identifies with Durga. The image of this goddess riding her lion, her eight arms holding weapons and flowers, might be the avatar for empowerment and protection, especially for women. Those of us who juggle families, jobs, and yoga; who step up to support the environment; or who travel to storm-torn cities to help build housing for displaced families are living out a contemporary version of the legend of Durga. And for men as well as women, meditation on Durga can bring forth warrior-like strength and protective compassion. When you bring her image into your inner world, she can empower your most radical aspirations and guide you through your most conflict-ridden life dramas. More than that, Durga embodies the inner power to transform yourself—to let go of addictions, obstacles, and the illusions and fears that hold you back.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

Bring Goddess Power Into Your Meditation Practice with Durga

You may wonder why, as a contemporary yogi, you’d find it worthwhile to invite the energy of mythic beings into your meditation practice. The short answer is that these archetypal energies are catalysts. Meditating on deities such as Durga, Hanuman, Shiva, and Lakshmi can call forth specific powers and qualities within you. These sacred powers come to you from beyond your limited ego and can help you meet challenges, open your heart, and transcend the ordinary. For centuries, the Indian and Tibetan Tantric traditions have taught meditations and mantras for bringing deity energy into the body and mind. Goddesses are especially potent, since they personify shakti, the subtle feminine force that enlivens the world, often considered the power behind spiritual growth. So practicing with the stories and mantras of one of these sacred figures can literally invite transformative energies into your life.

The images of these goddesses can serve as keys to unlocking your own inner potency. That’s because, though mythic, they are not just figments of human imagination. Goddess images represent real forces present in the universe. Their forms are extremely subtle, which is why they’re not normally apparent. Through the tales, meditations, and mantras associated with them, you can learn to sense their presence. The more you connect to them, the more palpably you can experience their inner gifts and blessings.

Just as Lakshmi is the shakti, or goddess, you call on for abundance, so Durga is the shakti you call on for strength, protection, and transformation. Worshipped by the ruling families of Rajasthan for help in battle, Durga is much more than a warrior goddess. She is also the power behind spiritual awakening, the inner force that unleashes spiritual power within the human body in the form of kundalini. And she is a guardian: beautiful, queenly, and motherly.

See also A 90-Minute Yoga Playlist to Awaken Your Inner Warrior

Durga carries a spear, a mace, a discus, a bow, and a sword—as well as a conch (symbolizing creative sound), a lotus (representing fertility), and a rosary (symbolizing prayer). In one version of her origin, she arises from the combined strength of the male gods to fight the buffalo demon Mahisha. The assembled gods, furious because they are powerless over this demon, send forth their anger as a mass of light and power. It coalesces into the form of a radiantly beautiful woman who fills every direction with her light. Her face was formed out of the light of Shiva; her hair came from Yama, the god of death; Vishnu, the sustainer, gave her arms. Shiva gave her his trident, Vishnu his discus; Vayu—the wind god—offered his bow and arrow. The mountain god, Himalaya, gave her a lion for her mount. Durga sets forth to battle the demon for the sake of the world, armed with all the powers of the divine masculine.

And ever since, she has been the deity to call on when you’re in deep trouble. In the Devi Mahatmyam (Triumph of the Goddess), a medieval song cycle about Durga that is still recited all over India, she promises that she will always appear when we need her to protect our world. She invites us to turn to her in crisis and promises to move mountains to rescue us from every form of evil—including the evil we, ourselves, create!

Learn how to tap into your inner strength with Durga.

Durga Slaying demons

In fact, in the tales of Durga, the demons she battles are not just external bad guys. They also represent the inner obstructive forces we face in our journey to enlightenment and self-actualization. So, as you read her story, think of it not just as a superhero saga but also as a parable about the process of inner work. Consider that it is showing you how to dissolve the negative energies of fear, greed, and anger so that you can stand in your essential strength and beauty. Your inner battle may not be as dramatic as this one.But it’s going on, nonetheless!

Shumbha and Nishumbha are brilliant demon brothers with magical superpowers. They’ve practiced hard austerities in order to earn a boon, or benefit, from their cosmic grandfather, Brahma. The boon makes them unconquerable by men or gods, but Brahma has been careful to word the boon so that it contains a loophole: It says nothing about a goddess.

The demon brothers are soon masters of the universe. They eject the gods from the celestial regions and enslave the inhabitants of the earth. The gods are reduced to hiding in caves, plotting revenge. But finally, a sage reveals to them that the demons have a weakness. 

Though Shumbha and Nishumbha can’t be conquered by anyone male, they might be vulnerable to a female warrior. So the gods travel to the mountain where Durga has her hidden dwelling to ask her for help.

See also Oh My Goddess: Invoking Your Inner Feminine Energy

As they call out to her with prayers and hymns of praise, Durga appears out of the clouds, clothed in robes whose colors shift and slip, revealing and concealing the beauty of her breasts and the curve of her belly. An erotic perfume surrounds her. She rides a lion.

In a voice like soft thunder rumbling through mountains, she agrees to intervene and restore the balance. The goddess has no sooner spoken than she has transported herself to the demon kings’ garden. Flowers drip from her fingers, and clouds form and dissolve in her hair. She is beauty personified, allurement clothed in form, enchantment itself. Within moments, the demon kings have come to their windows to look at her. They are connoisseurs of feminine beauty. Of course, they want her in their harem.

But when the palace major-domo brings the demons’ proposal to Durga, she smiles. “There is just one difficulty,” she explains. “In my girlhood, I took a silly vow that I would only marry a man strong enough to defeat me in battle. You know how girls are—full of fantasy and romantic notions. But a vow is a vow. If your masters really want me, they’ll have to fight with me.”

“Lady, you are either mad or suicidal,” says the major-domo. “No one has ever defeated my masters.”

“Nonetheless, that is my condition,” says Durga, giving him such a languorous glance that he feels stirrings of lust in every part of his body. “And if your masters are afraid to do battle, I am happy to take on their army.”

Which she does. In an intense battle, the goddess defeats battalion after battalion. At one point, a host of goddesses emerge from her body, including the fearsome Kali. Together, the goddesses destroy the entire demon army, leaving only the brothers. Shumbha advances upon Durga.

“You said that you would fight my army single-handed,” shouts Shumbha in a voice so loud it shakes the nearby hills to powder. “But you had helpers. Your challenge is forfeit.”

“Not so,” roars the goddess, vibrating the sky with celestial thunder. “These goddesses are parts of me.” The other goddesses melt back into her form, leaving just Durga, shining with an almost blinding light.

The goddess’s eight-armed form swells until it fills the sky. Twirling her great sword like a baton in one hand and her axes, maces, spears, and crossbows in the others, she flies through the air and slays the demon kings.

“Ma,” says Shumbha with his dying breath, and then a smile comes over his face as the ecstasy of the goddess fills his being. In that instant, both demons are transfigured, dissolving into Durga’s body and dying into the mystery. When the ego dissolves, even the most demonic soul comes home, back to the heart of the mother. Durga returns to her mountain home, promising to return when there is need for her help.

See also The Goddess Every Vinyasa Flow Fan Must Know

How to use Durga to let go of ego

This tale makes sense on several levels. From the point of view of the environment, it’s a story about the unstoppable power of nature. From another perspective, it assures us that higher powers will protect us when we take refuge in them. But on the esoteric level, the Durga story is about the transformation of the ego. The mighty battle between Durga and the demons is the inner struggle that invariably begins when we undertake real transformative practice.

Like those demon kings, the ego enters into spiritual practice with its own secret agenda. Egos seek control—control over circumstances, control over the body, and control over the people around us. Power and mastery are what matter to the ego. So, naturally, the ego will resist surrendering to higher powers, letting go of its agendas, or giving up control on any level. But shakti has a different agenda. She wants to move us away from egocentric consciousness and recognize our fundamental oneness with one another and the cosmos. To do this, she must put the ego in its place and ultimately dissolve it. The ego, however, will fight her to the death.

The demons personify the more primitive and intransigent forces of ego. They are the parts of us that unabashedly crave power over others. The demonic part of the self sees everything and everyone, including the higher powers of the universe, as tools that serve the ego’s personal agendas. The gods, as we’ve mentioned, also represent aspects of the self, but they represent the authentic Self, the unique personal qualities of essence. The devas represent our love, our dedication, our good intentions, and the forgiveness and compassion we display when we’re aligned with the higher Self. Durga arrives in our inner world to strengthen those higher qualities, whether for the sake of accomplishing good in the world or for progress on the spiritual path.

As postmodern practitioners, we usually prefer to take a gentler attitude toward our dark side. Most of us long ago rejected authoritarian religion, with its talk of sin and insistence on eliminating the darker forces within us.

If we are practitioners of a path that emphasizes our innate goodness, we might prefer to ignore the negative qualities in the self on the principle that fighting the ego only strengthens it. If we’re psychodynamically oriented, we might be interested in bringing our shadow qualities into the light so we can integrate the power tied up in anger or greed or pride. If we are walking a nondual path, we may feel that all struggle has to be given up, since everything is ultimately one.

See also Slow Flow: Learn to Live from Love with a Brahma Vihara

All these approaches are useful, some on the level of personality, others as part of the practice for enlightenment. But there are moments when the only way to put our narcissism in its place is with a sword—the sword of wisdom wielded by a warrior who takes no prisoners. This is Durga’s role, whether she is operating in the outer world or the inner world.

In my life, the energy of the warrior goddess with her upraised sword shows up to remind me to get my striving, performance-oriented ego out of the way so that the deeper power can unfold my life according to her evolutionary imperative. Durga, in my inner world, is the unstoppable energy of spiritual growth. When I resist that, I often encounter an unexpected setback. She might get in my face as a kind of cosmic “No!” to my personal agendas—and then manifest as the deeper awakening that follows when I am able to let them go.

Over the years, I’ve been through this cycle often. At times, egoic illusions grow bigger, pile up, and take over my world—until, like a river in springtime, they become so swollen that they must come bursting forth. Then, nearly always, I hear the roar of the goddess’s lion sounding through my dreams.

Perhaps Durga shows up to guide me through an impasse. Maybe I’ll make some horrific mistake, and she’ll appear to help me navigate the consequences. More and more, I’ve learned in those moments to bow to her in order to spare myself the pain that comes from resistance to the shakti’s agenda for my growth.

Whenever you feel yourself caught in one of those moments—when your personal will seems blocked by immovable obstacles—consider that it might be a signal from the shakti. Then, try sitting for a few minutes in meditation and using your imagination to bring yourself into the presence of Durga.

Connect with the goddess Durga through breath work and meditation.

Finding Your Ferocity with Durga

One of the most powerful practices for connecting with the goddess is to imagine that with each inhalation, you draw in her loving, protecting, empowering energy, and with each exhalation you breathe her energy through your body. As in so much yoga practice, the breath is the bridge between our physical self and the subtle energies of the invisible worlds. When you invoke Durga, you may very well feel her as a heightened energy. But connecting to Durga’s energy is just as likely to result in a subtle feeling of greater insight, in a feeling of being supported with strength to carry on during a hard time, or in the strategic instinct that helps you win your battles. This can happen so subtly that it’s only in hindsight that you realize you were being supported. And this can happen in surprising ways.

Sasha, a lawyer and the mother of two girls, first discovered the Durga shakti when her daughter Lee began failing in school. It turned out that Sasha’s husband, Lee’s father, was engaging his daughter sexually. Sasha vowed that, whatever it took, she would protect her daughters. She filed for divorce, insisting that her husband not be allowed unsupervised visits with their girls. He fought hard for joint custody, deploying a high-powered legal team. (Though a lawyer herself, Sasha’s field is wills and trusts, and she had never litigated.)

In the midst of this, Sasha took a class I was teaching on the goddesses. She felt an immediate affinity for Durga and created a meditation in which she imagined Durga’s strength inside her own body. She would visualize each of Durga’s eight arms holding a particular power. In one hand, she imagined the power to use words skillfully. In another, the power to read financial statements with care. In another, the skill to face down her husband’s lawyers. She imagined all of Durga’s weapons as energies empowering her to protect her two daughters.

See also Goddess Yoga Project: Defeat Fear With Sword Breath

She won the case and, soon afterward, realized that an enormous weight had been lifted from Lee. The fact that Sasha had fought on her daughter’s behalf seemed to give the teenager a sense of purpose and a new understanding of her own feminine strength.

Like Sasha, any one of us can tune into our personal Durga strength by invoking the goddess’s energy and wisdom. As you do, you’ll likely discover your personal capacity for warrior-style leadership. Anyone in touch with her inner Durga will naturally create zones of protection around the people in her life. (Durga is also an effortless multitasker, like a mother who manages three children while cooking a five-course meal—or an executive running a team of diverse employees.)

The Durga woman makes space for people to flourish, fighting their battles when needed—as Sasha did for her daughters—but she is just as likely to push them into fighting for themselves.

Answer Durga’s Call to Lead

One way to feel a sense of the Durga shakti is to remember a moment when you recognized, from the deepest place inside you, that something was wrong, that it had to change. If that recognition comes from the Durga shakti, it goes beyond mere frustration or cognitive awareness of a social problem. Durga’s transformative power carries a conviction that comes from deep inside the body, and with it often comes a sense of “Now!”—meaning the time is now. When that sense is strong enough, it is followed by action. You will put your body and your speech on the line to change the situation, whether it’s internal or external.

One of my Durga friends in Los Angeles noticed that her son’s asthma was activated when local crops were being sprayed for pests. She organized a group of mothers to protest aerial spraying in her area, and after several years, the group not only had it banned in Los Angeles, but also had the pesticide removed from circulation entirely. Now, along with her day job as a psychotherapist, she runs an environmental group focused on lobbying against airborne pesticides.

The same power of purposeful action can be invoked when you need the will to change a deep-seated habit or addiction, to carve out time for practice, or to follow an inner calling. The Durga shakti can give you the power to face parts of yourself that stand in the way of your evolution, but she can also show you how to speak up for yourself when you need to ask for a raise, face a challenge, or take on a difficult responsibility—in short, to set things right.

The more you invite Durga’s energy into your life, the more you’ll feel her opening you to your inner warrior. Her power guards your highest aspirations, and she promises never to let you down.

See also 5 Ways to Tap Into Your Inner Leader (and Stay True to Yourself)

About the Author Sally Kempton is an internationally recognized teacher of meditation and yoga philosophy and the author of Meditation for the Love of It. Find her at sallykempton.com. This piece originally appeared in the June 2013 issue of Yoga Journal and is adapted from Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga(Sounds True, 2013).

[krisiunicornio]

This legendary goddess can help empower your aspirations and call forth the leader within.

The warrior goddess Durga can help you find the leader within. Here's how to call on her when you need to feel empowered.

Five years ago, Lynda opened a yoga studio in an inner-city neighborhood in a big east-coast city. A recovering alcoholic, Lynda saw the studio as her public service, a way to reach out to other young women who might otherwise lead troubled lives. She used donations as well as money from her sessions with private clients to pay the rent, and she advertised free yoga classes for high school girls. Slowly her classes filled up, often with girls who had no place to go in the afternoon after school. 

Teaching these vulnerable, skeptical, wounded young women was challenging for Lynda. One night, after a particularly tough day, she dreamed of a beautiful woman mounted on a huge roaring lion. When she awoke, she realized that the image she had seen was reminiscent of Durga, the warrior goddess of Indian mythology. That day, guiding an especially restless group of girls into the Warrior sequence, she began to tell them about Durga. The girls were entranced. One of them asked Lynda to download a picture of Durga from the Internet for her. “I want to make a T-shirt,” she said. “That lady is my hero.”

“When she said that,” Lynda told me, “I realized that it was true for me, too. The image of Durga has been showing up in my dreams ever since. She’s the image I carry with me when I have to deal with my landlord or handle one of those girls when she’s disrupting the class. In some way, the image of Durga has become a symbol of the strength I need to keep this thing going.”

Lynda is not the only yogi I know who identifies with Durga. The image of this goddess riding her lion, her eight arms holding weapons and flowers, might be the avatar for empowerment and protection, especially for women. Those of us who juggle families, jobs, and yoga; who step up to support the environment; or who travel to storm-torn cities to help build housing for displaced families are living out a contemporary version of the legend of Durga. And for men as well as women, meditation on Durga can bring forth warrior-like strength and protective compassion. When you bring her image into your inner world, she can empower your most radical aspirations and guide you through your most conflict-ridden life dramas. More than that, Durga embodies the inner power to transform yourself—to let go of addictions, obstacles, and the illusions and fears that hold you back.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

Bring Goddess Power Into Your Meditation Practice with Durga

You may wonder why, as a contemporary yogi, you’d find it worthwhile to invite the energy of mythic beings into your meditation practice. The short answer is that these archetypal energies are catalysts. Meditating on deities such as Durga, Hanuman, Shiva, and Lakshmi can call forth specific powers and qualities within you. These sacred powers come to you from beyond your limited ego and can help you meet challenges, open your heart, and transcend the ordinary. For centuries, the Indian and Tibetan Tantric traditions have taught meditations and mantras for bringing deity energy into the body and mind. Goddesses are especially potent, since they personify shakti, the subtle feminine force that enlivens the world, often considered the power behind spiritual growth. So practicing with the stories and mantras of one of these sacred figures can literally invite transformative energies into your life.

The images of these goddesses can serve as keys to unlocking your own inner potency. That’s because, though mythic, they are not just figments of human imagination. Goddess images represent real forces present in the universe. Their forms are extremely subtle, which is why they’re not normally apparent. Through the tales, meditations, and mantras associated with them, you can learn to sense their presence. The more you connect to them, the more palpably you can experience their inner gifts and blessings.

Just as Lakshmi is the shakti, or goddess, you call on for abundance, so Durga is the shakti you call on for strength, protection, and transformation. Worshipped by the ruling families of Rajasthan for help in battle, Durga is much more than a warrior goddess. She is also the power behind spiritual awakening, the inner force that unleashes spiritual power within the human body in the form of kundalini. And she is a guardian: beautiful, queenly, and motherly.

See also A 90-Minute Yoga Playlist to Awaken Your Inner Warrior

Durga carries a spear, a mace, a discus, a bow, and a sword—as well as a conch (symbolizing creative sound), a lotus (representing fertility), and a rosary (symbolizing prayer). In one version of her origin, she arises from the combined strength of the male gods to fight the buffalo demon Mahisha. The assembled gods, furious because they are powerless over this demon, send forth their anger as a mass of light and power. It coalesces into the form of a radiantly beautiful woman who fills every direction with her light. Her face was formed out of the light of Shiva; her hair came from Yama, the god of death; Vishnu, the sustainer, gave her arms. Shiva gave her his trident, Vishnu his discus; Vayu—the wind god—offered his bow and arrow. The mountain god, Himalaya, gave her a lion for her mount. Durga sets forth to battle the demon for the sake of the world, armed with all the powers of the divine masculine.

And ever since, she has been the deity to call on when you’re in deep trouble. In the Devi Mahatmyam (Triumph of the Goddess), a medieval song cycle about Durga that is still recited all over India, she promises that she will always appear when we need her to protect our world. She invites us to turn to her in crisis and promises to move mountains to rescue us from every form of evil—including the evil we, ourselves, create!

Learn how to tap into your inner strength with Durga.

Durga Slaying demons

In fact, in the tales of Durga, the demons she battles are not just external bad guys. They also represent the inner obstructive forces we face in our journey to enlightenment and self-actualization. So, as you read her story, think of it not just as a superhero saga but also as a parable about the process of inner work. Consider that it is showing you how to dissolve the negative energies of fear, greed, and anger so that you can stand in your essential strength and beauty. Your inner battle may not be as dramatic as this one. But it’s going on, nonetheless!

Shumbha and Nishumbha are brilliant demon brothers with magical superpowers. They’ve practiced hard austerities in order to earn a boon, or benefit, from their cosmic grandfather, Brahma. The boon makes them unconquerable by men or gods, but Brahma has been careful to word the boon so that it contains a loophole: It says nothing about a goddess.

The demon brothers are soon masters of the universe. They eject the gods from the celestial regions and enslave the inhabitants of the earth. The gods are reduced to hiding in caves, plotting revenge. But finally, a sage reveals to them that the demons have a weakness. 

Though Shumbha and Nishumbha can’t be conquered by anyone male, they might be vulnerable to a female warrior. So the gods travel to the mountain where Durga has her hidden dwelling to ask her for help.

See also Oh My Goddess: Invoking Your Inner Feminine Energy

As they call out to her with prayers and hymns of praise, Durga appears out of the clouds, clothed in robes whose colors shift and slip, revealing and concealing the beauty of her breasts and the curve of her belly. An erotic perfume surrounds her. She rides a lion.

In a voice like soft thunder rumbling through mountains, she agrees to intervene and restore the balance. The goddess has no sooner spoken than she has transported herself to the demon kings’ garden. Flowers drip from her fingers, and clouds form and dissolve in her hair. She is beauty personified, allurement clothed in form, enchantment itself. Within moments, the demon kings have come to their windows to look at her. They are connoisseurs of feminine beauty. Of course, they want her in their harem.

But when the palace major-domo brings the demons’ proposal to Durga, she smiles. “There is just one difficulty,” she explains. “In my girlhood, I took a silly vow that I would only marry a man strong enough to defeat me in battle. You know how girls are—full of fantasy and romantic notions. But a vow is a vow. If your masters really want me, they’ll have to fight with me.”

“Lady, you are either mad or suicidal,” says the major-domo. “No one has ever defeated my masters.”

“Nonetheless, that is my condition,” says Durga, giving him such a languorous glance that he feels stirrings of lust in every part of his body. “And if your masters are afraid to do battle, I am happy to take on their army.”

Which she does. In an intense battle, the goddess defeats battalion after battalion. At one point, a host of goddesses emerge from her body, including the fearsome Kali. Together, the goddesses destroy the entire demon army, leaving only the brothers. Shumbha advances upon Durga.

“You said that you would fight my army single-handed,” shouts Shumbha in a voice so loud it shakes the nearby hills to powder. “But you had helpers. Your challenge is forfeit.”

“Not so,” roars the goddess, vibrating the sky with celestial thunder. “These goddesses are parts of me.” The other goddesses melt back into her form, leaving just Durga, shining with an almost blinding light.

The goddess’s eight-armed form swells until it fills the sky. Twirling her great sword like a baton in one hand and her axes, maces, spears, and crossbows in the others, she flies through the air and slays the demon kings.

“Ma,” says Shumbha with his dying breath, and then a smile comes over his face as the ecstasy of the goddess fills his being. In that instant, both demons are transfigured, dissolving into Durga’s body and dying into the mystery. When the ego dissolves, even the most demonic soul comes home, back to the heart of the mother. Durga returns to her mountain home, promising to return when there is need for her help.

See also The Goddess Every Vinyasa Flow Fan Must Know

How to use Durga to let go of ego

This tale makes sense on several levels. From the point of view of the environment, it’s a story about the unstoppable power of nature. From another perspective, it assures us that higher powers will protect us when we take refuge in them. But on the esoteric level, the Durga story is about the transformation of the ego. The mighty battle between Durga and the demons is the inner struggle that invariably begins when we undertake real transformative practice.

Like those demon kings, the ego enters into spiritual practice with its own secret agenda. Egos seek control—control over circumstances, control over the body, and control over the people around us. Power and mastery are what matter to the ego. So, naturally, the ego will resist surrendering to higher powers, letting go of its agendas, or giving up control on any level. But shakti has a different agenda. She wants to move us away from egocentric consciousness and recognize our fundamental oneness with one another and the cosmos. To do this, she must put the ego in its place and ultimately dissolve it. The ego, however, will fight her to the death.

The demons personify the more primitive and intransigent forces of ego. They are the parts of us that unabashedly crave power over others. The demonic part of the self sees everything and everyone, including the higher powers of the universe, as tools that serve the ego’s personal agendas. The gods, as we’ve mentioned, also represent aspects of the self, but they represent the authentic Self, the unique personal qualities of essence. The devas represent our love, our dedication, our good intentions, and the forgiveness and compassion we display when we’re aligned with the higher Self. Durga arrives in our inner world to strengthen those higher qualities, whether for the sake of accomplishing good in the world or for progress on the spiritual path.

As postmodern practitioners, we usually prefer to take a gentler attitude toward our dark side. Most of us long ago rejected authoritarian religion, with its talk of sin and insistence on eliminating the darker forces within us.

If we are practitioners of a path that emphasizes our innate goodness, we might prefer to ignore the negative qualities in the self on the principle that fighting the ego only strengthens it. If we’re psychodynamically oriented, we might be interested in bringing our shadow qualities into the light so we can integrate the power tied up in anger or greed or pride. If we are walking a nondual path, we may feel that all struggle has to be given up, since everything is ultimately one.

See also Slow Flow: Learn to Live from Love with a Brahma Vihara

All these approaches are useful, some on the level of personality, others as part of the practice for enlightenment. But there are moments when the only way to put our narcissism in its place is with a sword—the sword of wisdom wielded by a warrior who takes no prisoners. This is Durga’s role, whether she is operating in the outer world or the inner world.

In my life, the energy of the warrior goddess with her upraised sword shows up to remind me to get my striving, performance-oriented ego out of the way so that the deeper power can unfold my life according to her evolutionary imperative. Durga, in my inner world, is the unstoppable energy of spiritual growth. When I resist that, I often encounter an unexpected setback. She might get in my face as a kind of cosmic “No!” to my personal agendas—and then manifest as the deeper awakening that follows when I am able to let them go.

Over the years, I’ve been through this cycle often. At times, egoic illusions grow bigger, pile up, and take over my world—until, like a river in springtime, they become so swollen that they must come bursting forth. Then, nearly always, I hear the roar of the goddess’s lion sounding through my dreams.

Perhaps Durga shows up to guide me through an impasse. Maybe I’ll make some horrific mistake, and she’ll appear to help me navigate the consequences. More and more, I’ve learned in those moments to bow to her in order to spare myself the pain that comes from resistance to the shakti’s agenda for my growth.

Whenever you feel yourself caught in one of those moments—when your personal will seems blocked by immovable obstacles—consider that it might be a signal from the shakti. Then, try sitting for a few minutes in meditation and using your imagination to bring yourself into the presence of Durga.

Connect with the goddess Durga through breath work and meditation.

Finding Your Ferocity with Durga

One of the most powerful practices for connecting with the goddess is to imagine that with each inhalation, you draw in her loving, protecting, empowering energy, and with each exhalation you breathe her energy through your body. As in so much yoga practice, the breath is the bridge between our physical self and the subtle energies of the invisible worlds. When you invoke Durga, you may very well feel her as a heightened energy. But connecting to Durga’s energy is just as likely to result in a subtle feeling of greater insight, in a feeling of being supported with strength to carry on during a hard time, or in the strategic instinct that helps you win your battles. This can happen so subtly that it’s only in hindsight that you realize you were being supported. And this can happen in surprising ways.

Sasha, a lawyer and the mother of two girls, first discovered the Durga shakti when her daughter Lee began failing in school. It turned out that Sasha’s husband, Lee’s father, was engaging his daughter sexually. Sasha vowed that, whatever it took, she would protect her daughters. She filed for divorce, insisting that her husband not be allowed unsupervised visits with their girls. He fought hard for joint custody, deploying a high-powered legal team. (Though a lawyer herself, Sasha’s field is wills and trusts, and she had never litigated.)

In the midst of this, Sasha took a class I was teaching on the goddesses. She felt an immediate affinity for Durga and created a meditation in which she imagined Durga’s strength inside her own body. She would visualize each of Durga’s eight arms holding a particular power. In one hand, she imagined the power to use words skillfully. In another, the power to read financial statements with care. In another, the skill to face down her husband’s lawyers. She imagined all of Durga’s weapons as energies empowering her to protect her two daughters.

See also Goddess Yoga Project: Defeat Fear With Sword Breath

She won the case and, soon afterward, realized that an enormous weight had been lifted from Lee. The fact that Sasha had fought on her daughter’s behalf seemed to give the teenager a sense of purpose and a new understanding of her own feminine strength.

Like Sasha, any one of us can tune into our personal Durga strength by invoking the goddess’s energy and wisdom. As you do, you’ll likely discover your personal capacity for warrior-style leadership. Anyone in touch with her inner Durga will naturally create zones of protection around the people in her life. (Durga is also an effortless multitasker, like a mother who manages three children while cooking a five-course meal—or an executive running a team of diverse employees.)

The Durga woman makes space for people to flourish, fighting their battles when needed—as Sasha did for her daughters—but she is just as likely to push them into fighting for themselves.

Answer Durga's Call to Lead

One way to feel a sense of the Durga shakti is to remember a moment when you recognized, from the deepest place inside you, that something was wrong, that it had to change. If that recognition comes from the Durga shakti, it goes beyond mere frustration or cognitive awareness of a social problem. Durga’s transformative power carries a conviction that comes from deep inside the body, and with it often comes a sense of “Now!”—meaning the time is now. When that sense is strong enough, it is followed by action. You will put your body and your speech on the line to change the situation, whether it’s internal or external.

One of my Durga friends in Los Angeles noticed that her son’s asthma was activated when local crops were being sprayed for pests. She organized a group of mothers to protest aerial spraying in her area, and after several years, the group not only had it banned in Los Angeles, but also had the pesticide removed from circulation entirely. Now, along with her day job as a psychotherapist, she runs an environmental group focused on lobbying against airborne pesticides.

The same power of purposeful action can be invoked when you need the will to change a deep-seated habit or addiction, to carve out time for practice, or to follow an inner calling. The Durga shakti can give you the power to face parts of yourself that stand in the way of your evolution, but she can also show you how to speak up for yourself when you need to ask for a raise, face a challenge, or take on a difficult responsibility—in short, to set things right.

The more you invite Durga’s energy into your life, the more you’ll feel her opening you to your inner warrior. Her power guards your highest aspirations, and she promises never to let you down.

See also 5 Ways to Tap Into Your Inner Leader (and Stay True to Yourself)

About the Author Sally Kempton is an internationally recognized teacher of meditation and yoga philosophy and the author of Meditation for the Love of It. Find her at sallykempton.com. This piece originally appeared in the June 2013 issue of Yoga Journal and is adapted from Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga (Sounds True, 2013).

[amyddaniels]

How to Channel Durga During Challenging Times

This legendary goddess can help empower your aspirations and call forth the leader within.

The warrior goddess Durga can help you find the leader within. Here's how to call on her when you need to feel empowered.

Five years ago, Lynda opened a yoga studio in an inner-city neighborhood in a big east-coast city. A recovering alcoholic, Lynda saw the studio as her public service, a way to reach out to other young women who might otherwise lead troubled lives. She used donations as well as money from her sessions with private clients to pay the rent, and she advertised free yoga classes for high school girls. Slowly her classes filled up, often with girls who had no place to go in the afternoon after school. 

Teaching these vulnerable, skeptical, wounded young women was challenging for Lynda. One night, after a particularly tough day, she dreamed of a beautiful woman mounted on a huge roaring lion. When she awoke, she realized that the image she had seen was reminiscent of Durga, the warrior goddess of Indian mythology. That day, guiding an especially restless group of girls into the Warrior sequence, she began to tell them about Durga. The girls were entranced. One of them asked Lynda to download a picture of Durga from the Internet for her. “I want to make a T-shirt,” she said. “That lady is my hero.”

“When she said that,” Lynda told me, “I realized that it was true for me, too. The image of Durga has been showing up in my dreams ever since. She’s the image I carry with me when I have to deal with my landlord or handle one of those girls when she’s disrupting the class. In some way, the image of Durga has become a symbol of the strength I need to keep this thing going.”

Lynda is not the only yogi I know who identifies with Durga. The image of this goddess riding her lion, her eight arms holding weapons and flowers, might be the avatar for empowerment and protection, especially for women. Those of us who juggle families, jobs, and yoga; who step up to support the environment; or who travel to storm-torn cities to help build housing for displaced families are living out a contemporary version of the legend of Durga. And for men as well as women, meditation on Durga can bring forth warrior-like strength and protective compassion. When you bring her image into your inner world, she can empower your most radical aspirations and guide you through your most conflict-ridden life dramas. More than that, Durga embodies the inner power to transform yourself—to let go of addictions, obstacles, and the illusions and fears that hold you back.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

Bring Goddess Power Into Your Meditation Practice with Durga

You may wonder why, as a contemporary yogi, you’d find it worthwhile to invite the energy of mythic beings into your meditation practice. The short answer is that these archetypal energies are catalysts. Meditating on deities such as Durga, Hanuman, Shiva, and Lakshmi can call forth specific powers and qualities within you. These sacred powers come to you from beyond your limited ego and can help you meet challenges, open your heart, and transcend the ordinary. For centuries, the Indian and Tibetan Tantric traditions have taught meditations and mantras for bringing deity energy into the body and mind. Goddesses are especially potent, since they personify shakti, the subtle feminine force that enlivens the world, often considered the power behind spiritual growth. So practicing with the stories and mantras of one of these sacred figures can literally invite transformative energies into your life.

The images of these goddesses can serve as keys to unlocking your own inner potency. That’s because, though mythic, they are not just figments of human imagination. Goddess images represent real forces present in the universe. Their forms are extremely subtle, which is why they’re not normally apparent. Through the tales, meditations, and mantras associated with them, you can learn to sense their presence. The more you connect to them, the more palpably you can experience their inner gifts and blessings.

Just as Lakshmi is the shakti, or goddess, you call on for abundance, so Durga is the shakti you call on for strength, protection, and transformation. Worshipped by the ruling families of Rajasthan for help in battle, Durga is much more than a warrior goddess. She is also the power behind spiritual awakening, the inner force that unleashes spiritual power within the human body in the form of kundalini. And she is a guardian: beautiful, queenly, and motherly.

See also A 90-Minute Yoga Playlist to Awaken Your Inner Warrior

Durga carries a spear, a mace, a discus, a bow, and a sword—as well as a conch (symbolizing creative sound), a lotus (representing fertility), and a rosary (symbolizing prayer). In one version of her origin, she arises from the combined strength of the male gods to fight the buffalo demon Mahisha. The assembled gods, furious because they are powerless over this demon, send forth their anger as a mass of light and power. It coalesces into the form of a radiantly beautiful woman who fills every direction with her light. Her face was formed out of the light of Shiva; her hair came from Yama, the god of death; Vishnu, the sustainer, gave her arms. Shiva gave her his trident, Vishnu his discus; Vayu—the wind god—offered his bow and arrow. The mountain god, Himalaya, gave her a lion for her mount. Durga sets forth to battle the demon for the sake of the world, armed with all the powers of the divine masculine.

And ever since, she has been the deity to call on when you’re in deep trouble. In the Devi Mahatmyam (Triumph of the Goddess), a medieval song cycle about Durga that is still recited all over India, she promises that she will always appear when we need her to protect our world. She invites us to turn to her in crisis and promises to move mountains to rescue us from every form of evil—including the evil we, ourselves, create!

Learn how to tap into your inner strength with Durga.

Durga Slaying demons

In fact, in the tales of Durga, the demons she battles are not just external bad guys. They also represent the inner obstructive forces we face in our journey to enlightenment and self-actualization. So, as you read her story, think of it not just as a superhero saga but also as a parable about the process of inner work. Consider that it is showing you how to dissolve the negative energies of fear, greed, and anger so that you can stand in your essential strength and beauty. Your inner battle may not be as dramatic as this one. But it’s going on, nonetheless!

Shumbha and Nishumbha are brilliant demon brothers with magical superpowers. They’ve practiced hard austerities in order to earn a boon, or benefit, from their cosmic grandfather, Brahma. The boon makes them unconquerable by men or gods, but Brahma has been careful to word the boon so that it contains a loophole: It says nothing about a goddess.

The demon brothers are soon masters of the universe. They eject the gods from the celestial regions and enslave the inhabitants of the earth. The gods are reduced to hiding in caves, plotting revenge. But finally, a sage reveals to them that the demons have a weakness. 

Though Shumbha and Nishumbha can’t be conquered by anyone male, they might be vulnerable to a female warrior. So the gods travel to the mountain where Durga has her hidden dwelling to ask her for help.

See also Oh My Goddess: Invoking Your Inner Feminine Energy

As they call out to her with prayers and hymns of praise, Durga appears out of the clouds, clothed in robes whose colors shift and slip, revealing and concealing the beauty of her breasts and the curve of her belly. An erotic perfume surrounds her. She rides a lion.

In a voice like soft thunder rumbling through mountains, she agrees to intervene and restore the balance. The goddess has no sooner spoken than she has transported herself to the demon kings’ garden. Flowers drip from her fingers, and clouds form and dissolve in her hair. She is beauty personified, allurement clothed in form, enchantment itself. Within moments, the demon kings have come to their windows to look at her. They are connoisseurs of feminine beauty. Of course, they want her in their harem.

But when the palace major-domo brings the demons’ proposal to Durga, she smiles. “There is just one difficulty,” she explains. “In my girlhood, I took a silly vow that I would only marry a man strong enough to defeat me in battle. You know how girls are—full of fantasy and romantic notions. But a vow is a vow. If your masters really want me, they’ll have to fight with me.”

“Lady, you are either mad or suicidal,” says the major-domo. “No one has ever defeated my masters.”

“Nonetheless, that is my condition,” says Durga, giving him such a languorous glance that he feels stirrings of lust in every part of his body. “And if your masters are afraid to do battle, I am happy to take on their army.”

Which she does. In an intense battle, the goddess defeats battalion after battalion. At one point, a host of goddesses emerge from her body, including the fearsome Kali. Together, the goddesses destroy the entire demon army, leaving only the brothers. Shumbha advances upon Durga.

“You said that you would fight my army single-handed,” shouts Shumbha in a voice so loud it shakes the nearby hills to powder. “But you had helpers. Your challenge is forfeit.”

“Not so,” roars the goddess, vibrating the sky with celestial thunder. “These goddesses are parts of me.” The other goddesses melt back into her form, leaving just Durga, shining with an almost blinding light.

The goddess’s eight-armed form swells until it fills the sky. Twirling her great sword like a baton in one hand and her axes, maces, spears, and crossbows in the others, she flies through the air and slays the demon kings.

“Ma,” says Shumbha with his dying breath, and then a smile comes over his face as the ecstasy of the goddess fills his being. In that instant, both demons are transfigured, dissolving into Durga’s body and dying into the mystery. When the ego dissolves, even the most demonic soul comes home, back to the heart of the mother. Durga returns to her mountain home, promising to return when there is need for her help.

See also The Goddess Every Vinyasa Flow Fan Must Know

How to use Durga to let go of ego

This tale makes sense on several levels. From the point of view of the environment, it’s a story about the unstoppable power of nature. From another perspective, it assures us that higher powers will protect us when we take refuge in them. But on the esoteric level, the Durga story is about the transformation of the ego. The mighty battle between Durga and the demons is the inner struggle that invariably begins when we undertake real transformative practice.

Like those demon kings, the ego enters into spiritual practice with its own secret agenda. Egos seek control—control over circumstances, control over the body, and control over the people around us. Power and mastery are what matter to the ego. So, naturally, the ego will resist surrendering to higher powers, letting go of its agendas, or giving up control on any level. But shakti has a different agenda. She wants to move us away from egocentric consciousness and recognize our fundamental oneness with one another and the cosmos. To do this, she must put the ego in its place and ultimately dissolve it. The ego, however, will fight her to the death.

The demons personify the more primitive and intransigent forces of ego. They are the parts of us that unabashedly crave power over others. The demonic part of the self sees everything and everyone, including the higher powers of the universe, as tools that serve the ego’s personal agendas. The gods, as we’ve mentioned, also represent aspects of the self, but they represent the authentic Self, the unique personal qualities of essence. The devas represent our love, our dedication, our good intentions, and the forgiveness and compassion we display when we’re aligned with the higher Self. Durga arrives in our inner world to strengthen those higher qualities, whether for the sake of accomplishing good in the world or for progress on the spiritual path.

As postmodern practitioners, we usually prefer to take a gentler attitude toward our dark side. Most of us long ago rejected authoritarian religion, with its talk of sin and insistence on eliminating the darker forces within us.

If we are practitioners of a path that emphasizes our innate goodness, we might prefer to ignore the negative qualities in the self on the principle that fighting the ego only strengthens it. If we’re psychodynamically oriented, we might be interested in bringing our shadow qualities into the light so we can integrate the power tied up in anger or greed or pride. If we are walking a nondual path, we may feel that all struggle has to be given up, since everything is ultimately one.

See also Slow Flow: Learn to Live from Love with a Brahma Vihara

All these approaches are useful, some on the level of personality, others as part of the practice for enlightenment. But there are moments when the only way to put our narcissism in its place is with a sword—the sword of wisdom wielded by a warrior who takes no prisoners. This is Durga’s role, whether she is operating in the outer world or the inner world.

In my life, the energy of the warrior goddess with her upraised sword shows up to remind me to get my striving, performance-oriented ego out of the way so that the deeper power can unfold my life according to her evolutionary imperative. Durga, in my inner world, is the unstoppable energy of spiritual growth. When I resist that, I often encounter an unexpected setback. She might get in my face as a kind of cosmic “No!” to my personal agendas—and then manifest as the deeper awakening that follows when I am able to let them go.

Over the years, I’ve been through this cycle often. At times, egoic illusions grow bigger, pile up, and take over my world—until, like a river in springtime, they become so swollen that they must come bursting forth. Then, nearly always, I hear the roar of the goddess’s lion sounding through my dreams.

Perhaps Durga shows up to guide me through an impasse. Maybe I’ll make some horrific mistake, and she’ll appear to help me navigate the consequences. More and more, I’ve learned in those moments to bow to her in order to spare myself the pain that comes from resistance to the shakti’s agenda for my growth.

Whenever you feel yourself caught in one of those moments—when your personal will seems blocked by immovable obstacles—consider that it might be a signal from the shakti. Then, try sitting for a few minutes in meditation and using your imagination to bring yourself into the presence of Durga.

Connect with the goddess Durga through breath work and meditation.

Finding Your Ferocity with Durga

One of the most powerful practices for connecting with the goddess is to imagine that with each inhalation, you draw in her loving, protecting, empowering energy, and with each exhalation you breathe her energy through your body. As in so much yoga practice, the breath is the bridge between our physical self and the subtle energies of the invisible worlds. When you invoke Durga, you may very well feel her as a heightened energy. But connecting to Durga’s energy is just as likely to result in a subtle feeling of greater insight, in a feeling of being supported with strength to carry on during a hard time, or in the strategic instinct that helps you win your battles. This can happen so subtly that it’s only in hindsight that you realize you were being supported. And this can happen in surprising ways.

Sasha, a lawyer and the mother of two girls, first discovered the Durga shakti when her daughter Lee began failing in school. It turned out that Sasha’s husband, Lee’s father, was engaging his daughter sexually. Sasha vowed that, whatever it took, she would protect her daughters. She filed for divorce, insisting that her husband not be allowed unsupervised visits with their girls. He fought hard for joint custody, deploying a high-powered legal team. (Though a lawyer herself, Sasha’s field is wills and trusts, and she had never litigated.)

In the midst of this, Sasha took a class I was teaching on the goddesses. She felt an immediate affinity for Durga and created a meditation in which she imagined Durga’s strength inside her own body. She would visualize each of Durga’s eight arms holding a particular power. In one hand, she imagined the power to use words skillfully. In another, the power to read financial statements with care. In another, the skill to face down her husband’s lawyers. She imagined all of Durga’s weapons as energies empowering her to protect her two daughters.

See also Goddess Yoga Project: Defeat Fear With Sword Breath

She won the case and, soon afterward, realized that an enormous weight had been lifted from Lee. The fact that Sasha had fought on her daughter’s behalf seemed to give the teenager a sense of purpose and a new understanding of her own feminine strength.

Like Sasha, any one of us can tune into our personal Durga strength by invoking the goddess’s energy and wisdom. As you do, you’ll likely discover your personal capacity for warrior-style leadership. Anyone in touch with her inner Durga will naturally create zones of protection around the people in her life. (Durga is also an effortless multitasker, like a mother who manages three children while cooking a five-course meal—or an executive running a team of diverse employees.)

The Durga woman makes space for people to flourish, fighting their battles when needed—as Sasha did for her daughters—but she is just as likely to push them into fighting for themselves.

Answer Durga's Call to Lead

One way to feel a sense of the Durga shakti is to remember a moment when you recognized, from the deepest place inside you, that something was wrong, that it had to change. If that recognition comes from the Durga shakti, it goes beyond mere frustration or cognitive awareness of a social problem. Durga’s transformative power carries a conviction that comes from deep inside the body, and with it often comes a sense of “Now!”—meaning the time is now. When that sense is strong enough, it is followed by action. You will put your body and your speech on the line to change the situation, whether it’s internal or external.

One of my Durga friends in Los Angeles noticed that her son’s asthma was activated when local crops were being sprayed for pests. She organized a group of mothers to protest aerial spraying in her area, and after several years, the group not only had it banned in Los Angeles, but also had the pesticide removed from circulation entirely. Now, along with her day job as a psychotherapist, she runs an environmental group focused on lobbying against airborne pesticides.

The same power of purposeful action can be invoked when you need the will to change a deep-seated habit or addiction, to carve out time for practice, or to follow an inner calling. The Durga shakti can give you the power to face parts of yourself that stand in the way of your evolution, but she can also show you how to speak up for yourself when you need to ask for a raise, face a challenge, or take on a difficult responsibility—in short, to set things right.

The more you invite Durga’s energy into your life, the more you’ll feel her opening you to your inner warrior. Her power guards your highest aspirations, and she promises never to let you down.

See also 5 Ways to Tap Into Your Inner Leader (and Stay True to Yourself)

About the Author Sally Kempton is an internationally recognized teacher of meditation and yoga philosophy and the author of Meditation for the Love of It. Find her at sallykempton.com. This piece originally appeared in the June 2013 issue of Yoga Journal and is adapted from Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga (Sounds True, 2013).

[remedialmassage]

How to Channel Durga During Challenging Times

This legendary goddess can help empower your aspirations and call forth the leader within.

The warrior goddess Durga can help you find the leader within. Here's how to call on her when you need to feel empowered.

Five years ago, Lynda opened a yoga studio in an inner-city neighborhood in a big east-coast city. A recovering alcoholic, Lynda saw the studio as her public service, a way to reach out to other young women who might otherwise lead troubled lives. She used donations as well as money from her sessions with private clients to pay the rent, and she advertised free yoga classes for high school girls. Slowly her classes filled up, often with girls who had no place to go in the afternoon after school. 

Teaching these vulnerable, skeptical, wounded young women was challenging for Lynda. One night, after a particularly tough day, she dreamed of a beautiful woman mounted on a huge roaring lion. When she awoke, she realized that the image she had seen was reminiscent of Durga, the warrior goddess of Indian mythology. That day, guiding an especially restless group of girls into the Warrior sequence, she began to tell them about Durga. The girls were entranced. One of them asked Lynda to download a picture of Durga from the Internet for her. “I want to make a T-shirt,” she said. “That lady is my hero.”

“When she said that,” Lynda told me, “I realized that it was true for me, too. The image of Durga has been showing up in my dreams ever since. She’s the image I carry with me when I have to deal with my landlord or handle one of those girls when she’s disrupting the class. In some way, the image of Durga has become a symbol of the strength I need to keep this thing going.”

Lynda is not the only yogi I know who identifies with Durga. The image of this goddess riding her lion, her eight arms holding weapons and flowers, might be the avatar for empowerment and protection, especially for women. Those of us who juggle families, jobs, and yoga; who step up to support the environment; or who travel to storm-torn cities to help build housing for displaced families are living out a contemporary version of the legend of Durga. And for men as well as women, meditation on Durga can bring forth warrior-like strength and protective compassion. When you bring her image into your inner world, she can empower your most radical aspirations and guide you through your most conflict-ridden life dramas. More than that, Durga embodies the inner power to transform yourself—to let go of addictions, obstacles, and the illusions and fears that hold you back.

See also 5 Yoga Teachers Who Overcame Addiction

Bring Goddess Power Into Your Meditation Practice with Durga

You may wonder why, as a contemporary yogi, you’d find it worthwhile to invite the energy of mythic beings into your meditation practice. The short answer is that these archetypal energies are catalysts. Meditating on deities such as Durga, Hanuman, Shiva, and Lakshmi can call forth specific powers and qualities within you. These sacred powers come to you from beyond your limited ego and can help you meet challenges, open your heart, and transcend the ordinary. For centuries, the Indian and Tibetan Tantric traditions have taught meditations and mantras for bringing deity energy into the body and mind. Goddesses are especially potent, since they personify shakti, the subtle feminine force that enlivens the world, often considered the power behind spiritual growth. So practicing with the stories and mantras of one of these sacred figures can literally invite transformative energies into your life.

The images of these goddesses can serve as keys to unlocking your own inner potency. That’s because, though mythic, they are not just figments of human imagination. Goddess images represent real forces present in the universe. Their forms are extremely subtle, which is why they’re not normally apparent. Through the tales, meditations, and mantras associated with them, you can learn to sense their presence. The more you connect to them, the more palpably you can experience their inner gifts and blessings.

Just as Lakshmi is the shakti, or goddess, you call on for abundance, so Durga is the shakti you call on for strength, protection, and transformation. Worshipped by the ruling families of Rajasthan for help in battle, Durga is much more than a warrior goddess. She is also the power behind spiritual awakening, the inner force that unleashes spiritual power within the human body in the form of kundalini. And she is a guardian: beautiful, queenly, and motherly.

See also A 90-Minute Yoga Playlist to Awaken Your Inner Warrior

Durga carries a spear, a mace, a discus, a bow, and a sword—as well as a conch (symbolizing creative sound), a lotus (representing fertility), and a rosary (symbolizing prayer). In one version of her origin, she arises from the combined strength of the male gods to fight the buffalo demon Mahisha. The assembled gods, furious because they are powerless over this demon, send forth their anger as a mass of light and power. It coalesces into the form of a radiantly beautiful woman who fills every direction with her light. Her face was formed out of the light of Shiva; her hair came from Yama, the god of death; Vishnu, the sustainer, gave her arms. Shiva gave her his trident, Vishnu his discus; Vayu—the wind god—offered his bow and arrow. The mountain god, Himalaya, gave her a lion for her mount. Durga sets forth to battle the demon for the sake of the world, armed with all the powers of the divine masculine.

And ever since, she has been the deity to call on when you’re in deep trouble. In the Devi Mahatmyam (Triumph of the Goddess), a medieval song cycle about Durga that is still recited all over India, she promises that she will always appear when we need her to protect our world. She invites us to turn to her in crisis and promises to move mountains to rescue us from every form of evil—including the evil we, ourselves, create!

Learn how to tap into your inner strength with Durga.

Durga Slaying demons

In fact, in the tales of Durga, the demons she battles are not just external bad guys. They also represent the inner obstructive forces we face in our journey to enlightenment and self-actualization. So, as you read her story, think of it not just as a superhero saga but also as a parable about the process of inner work. Consider that it is showing you how to dissolve the negative energies of fear, greed, and anger so that you can stand in your essential strength and beauty. Your inner battle may not be as dramatic as this one. But it’s going on, nonetheless!

Shumbha and Nishumbha are brilliant demon brothers with magical superpowers. They’ve practiced hard austerities in order to earn a boon, or benefit, from their cosmic grandfather, Brahma. The boon makes them unconquerable by men or gods, but Brahma has been careful to word the boon so that it contains a loophole: It says nothing about a goddess.

The demon brothers are soon masters of the universe. They eject the gods from the celestial regions and enslave the inhabitants of the earth. The gods are reduced to hiding in caves, plotting revenge. But finally, a sage reveals to them that the demons have a weakness. 

Though Shumbha and Nishumbha can’t be conquered by anyone male, they might be vulnerable to a female warrior. So the gods travel to the mountain where Durga has her hidden dwelling to ask her for help.

See also Oh My Goddess: Invoking Your Inner Feminine Energy

As they call out to her with prayers and hymns of praise, Durga appears out of the clouds, clothed in robes whose colors shift and slip, revealing and concealing the beauty of her breasts and the curve of her belly. An erotic perfume surrounds her. She rides a lion.

In a voice like soft thunder rumbling through mountains, she agrees to intervene and restore the balance. The goddess has no sooner spoken than she has transported herself to the demon kings’ garden. Flowers drip from her fingers, and clouds form and dissolve in her hair. She is beauty personified, allurement clothed in form, enchantment itself. Within moments, the demon kings have come to their windows to look at her. They are connoisseurs of feminine beauty. Of course, they want her in their harem.

But when the palace major-domo brings the demons’ proposal to Durga, she smiles. “There is just one difficulty,” she explains. “In my girlhood, I took a silly vow that I would only marry a man strong enough to defeat me in battle. You know how girls are—full of fantasy and romantic notions. But a vow is a vow. If your masters really want me, they’ll have to fight with me.”

“Lady, you are either mad or suicidal,” says the major-domo. “No one has ever defeated my masters.”

“Nonetheless, that is my condition,” says Durga, giving him such a languorous glance that he feels stirrings of lust in every part of his body. “And if your masters are afraid to do battle, I am happy to take on their army.”

Which she does. In an intense battle, the goddess defeats battalion after battalion. At one point, a host of goddesses emerge from her body, including the fearsome Kali. Together, the goddesses destroy the entire demon army, leaving only the brothers. Shumbha advances upon Durga.

“You said that you would fight my army single-handed,” shouts Shumbha in a voice so loud it shakes the nearby hills to powder. “But you had helpers. Your challenge is forfeit.”

“Not so,” roars the goddess, vibrating the sky with celestial thunder. “These goddesses are parts of me.” The other goddesses melt back into her form, leaving just Durga, shining with an almost blinding light.

The goddess’s eight-armed form swells until it fills the sky. Twirling her great sword like a baton in one hand and her axes, maces, spears, and crossbows in the others, she flies through the air and slays the demon kings.

“Ma,” says Shumbha with his dying breath, and then a smile comes over his face as the ecstasy of the goddess fills his being. In that instant, both demons are transfigured, dissolving into Durga’s body and dying into the mystery. When the ego dissolves, even the most demonic soul comes home, back to the heart of the mother. Durga returns to her mountain home, promising to return when there is need for her help.

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How to use Durga to let go of ego

This tale makes sense on several levels. From the point of view of the environment, it’s a story about the unstoppable power of nature. From another perspective, it assures us that higher powers will protect us when we take refuge in them. But on the esoteric level, the Durga story is about the transformation of the ego. The mighty battle between Durga and the demons is the inner struggle that invariably begins when we undertake real transformative practice.

Like those demon kings, the ego enters into spiritual practice with its own secret agenda. Egos seek control—control over circumstances, control over the body, and control over the people around us. Power and mastery are what matter to the ego. So, naturally, the ego will resist surrendering to higher powers, letting go of its agendas, or giving up control on any level. But shakti has a different agenda. She wants to move us away from egocentric consciousness and recognize our fundamental oneness with one another and the cosmos. To do this, she must put the ego in its place and ultimately dissolve it. The ego, however, will fight her to the death.

The demons personify the more primitive and intransigent forces of ego. They are the parts of us that unabashedly crave power over others. The demonic part of the self sees everything and everyone, including the higher powers of the universe, as tools that serve the ego’s personal agendas. The gods, as we’ve mentioned, also represent aspects of the self, but they represent the authentic Self, the unique personal qualities of essence. The devas represent our love, our dedication, our good intentions, and the forgiveness and compassion we display when we’re aligned with the higher Self. Durga arrives in our inner world to strengthen those higher qualities, whether for the sake of accomplishing good in the world or for progress on the spiritual path.

As postmodern practitioners, we usually prefer to take a gentler attitude toward our dark side. Most of us long ago rejected authoritarian religion, with its talk of sin and insistence on eliminating the darker forces within us.

If we are practitioners of a path that emphasizes our innate goodness, we might prefer to ignore the negative qualities in the self on the principle that fighting the ego only strengthens it. If we’re psychodynamically oriented, we might be interested in bringing our shadow qualities into the light so we can integrate the power tied up in anger or greed or pride. If we are walking a nondual path, we may feel that all struggle has to be given up, since everything is ultimately one.

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All these approaches are useful, some on the level of personality, others as part of the practice for enlightenment. But there are moments when the only way to put our narcissism in its place is with a sword—the sword of wisdom wielded by a warrior who takes no prisoners. This is Durga’s role, whether she is operating in the outer world or the inner world.

In my life, the energy of the warrior goddess with her upraised sword shows up to remind me to get my striving, performance-oriented ego out of the way so that the deeper power can unfold my life according to her evolutionary imperative. Durga, in my inner world, is the unstoppable energy of spiritual growth. When I resist that, I often encounter an unexpected setback. She might get in my face as a kind of cosmic “No!” to my personal agendas—and then manifest as the deeper awakening that follows when I am able to let them go.

Over the years, I’ve been through this cycle often. At times, egoic illusions grow bigger, pile up, and take over my world—until, like a river in springtime, they become so swollen that they must come bursting forth. Then, nearly always, I hear the roar of the goddess’s lion sounding through my dreams.

Perhaps Durga shows up to guide me through an impasse. Maybe I’ll make some horrific mistake, and she’ll appear to help me navigate the consequences. More and more, I’ve learned in those moments to bow to her in order to spare myself the pain that comes from resistance to the shakti’s agenda for my growth.

Whenever you feel yourself caught in one of those moments—when your personal will seems blocked by immovable obstacles—consider that it might be a signal from the shakti. Then, try sitting for a few minutes in meditation and using your imagination to bring yourself into the presence of Durga.

Connect with the goddess Durga through breath work and meditation.

Finding Your Ferocity with Durga

One of the most powerful practices for connecting with the goddess is to imagine that with each inhalation, you draw in her loving, protecting, empowering energy, and with each exhalation you breathe her energy through your body. As in so much yoga practice, the breath is the bridge between our physical self and the subtle energies of the invisible worlds. When you invoke Durga, you may very well feel her as a heightened energy. But connecting to Durga’s energy is just as likely to result in a subtle feeling of greater insight, in a feeling of being supported with strength to carry on during a hard time, or in the strategic instinct that helps you win your battles. This can happen so subtly that it’s only in hindsight that you realize you were being supported. And this can happen in surprising ways.

Sasha, a lawyer and the mother of two girls, first discovered the Durga shakti when her daughter Lee began failing in school. It turned out that Sasha’s husband, Lee’s father, was engaging his daughter sexually. Sasha vowed that, whatever it took, she would protect her daughters. She filed for divorce, insisting that her husband not be allowed unsupervised visits with their girls. He fought hard for joint custody, deploying a high-powered legal team. (Though a lawyer herself, Sasha’s field is wills and trusts, and she had never litigated.)

In the midst of this, Sasha took a class I was teaching on the goddesses. She felt an immediate affinity for Durga and created a meditation in which she imagined Durga’s strength inside her own body. She would visualize each of Durga’s eight arms holding a particular power. In one hand, she imagined the power to use words skillfully. In another, the power to read financial statements with care. In another, the skill to face down her husband’s lawyers. She imagined all of Durga’s weapons as energies empowering her to protect her two daughters.

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She won the case and, soon afterward, realized that an enormous weight had been lifted from Lee. The fact that Sasha had fought on her daughter’s behalf seemed to give the teenager a sense of purpose and a new understanding of her own feminine strength.

Like Sasha, any one of us can tune into our personal Durga strength by invoking the goddess’s energy and wisdom. As you do, you’ll likely discover your personal capacity for warrior-style leadership. Anyone in touch with her inner Durga will naturally create zones of protection around the people in her life. (Durga is also an effortless multitasker, like a mother who manages three children while cooking a five-course meal—or an executive running a team of diverse employees.)

The Durga woman makes space for people to flourish, fighting their battles when needed—as Sasha did for her daughters—but she is just as likely to push them into fighting for themselves.

Answer Durga's Call to Lead

One way to feel a sense of the Durga shakti is to remember a moment when you recognized, from the deepest place inside you, that something was wrong, that it had to change. If that recognition comes from the Durga shakti, it goes beyond mere frustration or cognitive awareness of a social problem. Durga’s transformative power carries a conviction that comes from deep inside the body, and with it often comes a sense of “Now!”—meaning the time is now. When that sense is strong enough, it is followed by action. You will put your body and your speech on the line to change the situation, whether it’s internal or external.

One of my Durga friends in Los Angeles noticed that her son’s asthma was activated when local crops were being sprayed for pests. She organized a group of mothers to protest aerial spraying in her area, and after several years, the group not only had it banned in Los Angeles, but also had the pesticide removed from circulation entirely. Now, along with her day job as a psychotherapist, she runs an environmental group focused on lobbying against airborne pesticides.

The same power of purposeful action can be invoked when you need the will to change a deep-seated habit or addiction, to carve out time for practice, or to follow an inner calling. The Durga shakti can give you the power to face parts of yourself that stand in the way of your evolution, but she can also show you how to speak up for yourself when you need to ask for a raise, face a challenge, or take on a difficult responsibility—in short, to set things right.

The more you invite Durga’s energy into your life, the more you’ll feel her opening you to your inner warrior. Her power guards your highest aspirations, and she promises never to let you down.

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About the Author Sally Kempton is an internationally recognized teacher of meditation and yoga philosophy and the author of Meditation for the Love of It. Find her at sallykempton.com. This piece originally appeared in the June 2013 issue of Yoga Journal and is adapted from Sally Kempton’s book, Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga (Sounds True, 2013).

from Yoga Journal http://bit.ly/2EMMtrG