#and I still yearn for a mid 90s wip

[foxmulderautism]

originally i thought lover boy would extend into 1988, and i have this autism thing where i like there to just be one main story for each year of the timeline (beau/bobby/jolie multi pov novel is 1982-83, bobby novella is 1984, felix + dorothy novel is 1985-86, lover boy is 1987. only exception is until heaven and other heavens are both 1990-91 but they parallel each other they are twin novellas to me)….which means the 1988 slot is free now meaning SPACE FOR ANOTHER STORY YAYYYYYYY. sorry for forming a special interest over one wip and turning it into a writing playground where i follow the same series of characters from different angles across a decade, so you still think I’m hot?

[dangerous-advantage]

(yagi-no-eda here~)

Totally would circle back /pos. I’m also pretty new to the fandom!

My wife has liked Usagi Yojimbo and associated stuff for years but it’s only this summer that my brain has allowed me to really get into it, and make it past the first 2-3 comics. Not for lack of trying - it was just never the right time in an ADHD way*. Something always would distract me. I’ve inhaled all the comics I can in just the last couple of months and yeah, Stan came at me with a steel chair too. I did not expect …this whole situation. I’ve been a fandom lurker since 1999 and yet suddenly I have blog I use near daily, a sketchbook, and bunch of fic WIPS...

Mainly because I am Unwell over UY.

I have accepted my fate. This is always going to be a Thing now.

Though I did admittedly also inhale TMNT 2003 and Rise.

Travels with Jotaro is one of my favourite volumes, but I’m also weirdly into Bridge of Death rn and just….in general having a moment over Usagi’s time with Mifune. To the point I’m doodling intros for a fake show called The Mifune Years. He had this whole expected future and friends - denied.

* to be fair this is also the summer I found out its def ADHD driving this media analysis machine I call a brain

Hope this was an okay way to get back to you! /lil anxious

Feel free to network (or share thoughts) in my tags anytime, I love hearing what other people think. Also happy to chat anytime. Or feel free to tell me to back off and that's chill too :)

(been waiting to answer this for when i had more time but gave in; should be working on my fic(s) but you know how it is lmao. stay tuned for a very long post, because i love talking about things with people, especially things i like haha

very cool to see another person very passionate about this series! i grew up on 2003 (and the 90's movies-- my parents had the third one on cassette and i remember i wore that fucker out lmao) but it was always more of a "scattered interest" rather than something i was fully pulled into

i started getting into rise (read: The Algorithm came for me) probably mid-July of last year, but didn't fully fall into it until after the movie came out. it renewed my interest in tmnt overall, and i've been here ever since!

i did attempt to watch the usagi chronicles a couple of times, and i remember thinking they were fun but not really my thing. (i definitely want to revisit it, even though i know it won't hold a candle to usagi yojimbo. it does look fun in a silly way, which i can get behind.)

i knew vaguely about how big usagi yojimbo was, and that it was a commitment, but i'm surprised how quickly it sucked me in. i've never been super interested in stuff within the genre, but damn if it doesn't satisfy the autism. entire chapters devoted to infodumping about the edo period of japan? sign me the fuck up!

i especially did not expect how much it would make me feel. like. wow. ouch. usagi is just Some Guy but he is also so well characterized and you really feel for his internal conflict, 10/10.

i've been looking for series with older protagonists, especially those more focused on the familial/platonic aspect rather than romantic (i am just an nd queer on the interweb, can you blame me for yearning for found family?), but hadn't found any i really liked other than the tarot sequence by kd edwards (very good read, would highly recommend.)

also not to be a nerd but ohhhh my god i am so obsessed with the plot with mifune.

like i know the series takes place after that, and after the fallout of that, but just. wow. imagine devoting your entire being to another, to the point where you would readily die for them and their word, and then they die. they die, and you did everything you could to honor them in that death, but they're still gone.

like... that emptiness stays with you. you don't just get over that. maybe it's the "being raised in a cult" but wow, do i empathize with that.

idk if we explore more about the fallout/exact history with mifune/immediately following mifune's death but there is so much writing potential there. if i was not embroiled within turtle hell and 50,000 words deep in a multi-chapter fic already, i would absolutely write something for it.

like. this is adjacent to your interest in the topic, but can you just imagine (/rhetorical /general you.) as far as we know, he spent five days on the battlefield before he made it out to the tangled skein.

(which is one of my favorite additions like good god holy shit. that is so cool and angsty. your lord, days after dying, appears as a fucking ghost and saves you. like, if i were to be silly and funky, i would absolutely headcanon that as the reason that he was able to stand up and continue on. because i mean... what else? what else could motivate you to stand up once more after something like that?)

(well. honor. but mifune is the physical manifestation of honor in the narrative, so same difference? it's like both thematically significant and emotionally significant and-- ok im shutting up now. but i could talk for days, istg.)

but like. how do you reconstruct yourself from that? we see him holding tight to this sense of honor, even after his lord is gone, sent reeling (adrift in the waves) with only his soul and moral compass to hold to.

which makes it hurt so much more when we see these ideals of honor-- this ghost of a man, of a life, still haunting him years after the event-- still woven through the narrative, made to specifically conflict his deepest wants.

i joke about it a lot on my fic discord (i have a whole channel called 'father-material' devoted to just pictures of him hanging out with/taking care of kids), but something that seems very important to him is wanting to be a father figure, and wanting these connections to family and friends.

but that is contrasted against these ideas of honor, the very thing he built and rebuilt his foundation off of after it was torn away from him. and it's just so incredibly painful but also it makes sense, because he can't just give up the side of himself that is a samurai. too much of his person, his characterization, is built off of this.

to see it constantly clash with this want to settle down and finally rest, devote himself to his relationships/family rather than the code of bushido-- the very essence of honor itself-- ourgh ourgh ourgh its so good

(put aside the fact that he once said he could never serve another lord, and we know from the story that the idea of a "lord" can be more than just a person... he never stopped serving mifune, not truly. he still upholds the ideas of honor that mifune stood for/represented. as if his lord never truly left him.)

...i was going to say more, but then i realized this turned into a whole-ass mini-analysis, so i'm forcing myself to stfu. but basically: i have feelings about this series, man (/gender neutral).

anyway. if you ever do put something together, i would love to read/follow it! if i ever wrote something, it would probably be exploring the direct fallout of losing mifune, so hey, different niches but similar (:

also: never be anxious about talking to me ever in any way possible. i will probably be even more annoying than you in tags/asks/everything under the sun, and i do genuinely love talking to people who share my interests (typically about those interests.) i like to pretend i am an internet Cool Guy, however, it is a flimsy veneer to hide all the cringefail swaglessness and unending mental illness about my blorbos

(...i am so tempted to just invite you to my og turtle discord server so i can annoy you about usagi on the regular. also about what my reimagining of yuichi would be, because i have so, so many ideas.

i will refrain, but if you would be interested, it has been kinda dead as of late, so it would be nice to enrich the ecosystem a little by slowly collecting other usagi-interested individuals and slowly taking it over, one by one (/j /lh).)

anyway, same thing goes for me with my posts/asks/reblogs/messages/whatever. i am so very earnest, so if that puts you off, that's very chill and fine. however, as long as you're down to vibe, i am similarly down to vibe >:D

i once more apologize for this monstrosity of a reply. i would say it won't happen again, but my reading comprehension apparently does not extend to the "all things in moderation" maxim. instead i choose maximalism (to the max)

(sorry for that joke. yeah that will also happen again. sorry. /lh /pos)

[orangez3st]

Soooo are these limited to hornysad genre or are we doing it by distinctive moods? 😆

The "My Playlist Understands Me Better Than My Therapist" Tag Game

Thank you for the tag and thinking about me @cloneflo99 💓💓

This surprisingly didn't take that long... I had my Spotify running every day for the past week and my recents are sad playlists and hornysad playlists lmao. I need the ambience to write my angsty wip's! So many dramas and love dilemmas lately I hope they come out great. 🥹

ANYWAY below are what I play for Spotify therapy sessions lol. Each respective mood seems to appear outta nowhere. I picked 3 songs for hornysad (it's somewhere in the middle).

I'm going on a rebellion and I'm gonna scream until every single person in this cursed city hears my preach

This is the summarized main lore of Twenty One Pilots btw lol. I have loved them since 2017, about a year before Trench came out. As it happened everyone else, Stressed Out hit the brainrot for me. I'm so proud of these boys! Fives and Echo scream their vibes so much in my opinion. I have an art redraw tag for their shenanigans lol. These are their albums:

Blurryface - something's wrong with you there's something wrong inside you and everyone and everything around you is just not right you don't know how long you'll survive

Trench - you escape you find the people who help you but you can't help but mourn those who can't be saved but the moment you lower your guard they take you again

Scaled and Icy - oh you're fine! you're okay, you're taken care of! they definitely don't force you to put on a show and smile at everyone else while everything around you is still wrong no!

Clancy - that's it you're out of this you're gonna start a rebellion you're gonna fight them to the death and with all the support you have now you'll come out as the sole winner

Star Wars things

Songs from the Underworld (Original Music from Star Wars: Outlaws) by Cody Matthew Johnson — have you seen the TITLES OF THESE SONGS? now that's what we call song titles! this resonates so much about the coruscant underworld and how funky it is, always liking these when i'm in the mood to just vibe with the lower level residents

Sounds from the Galactic Skylanes (Original Music from Star Wars Jedi: Survivor) — I LOVE THIS ONE TOO FLO every single thing that comes out of this one never fails especially the ones by The Agasar that I looped them for like a week-ish

Clonethirsting mandatory songs (oh boy here we go)

Overcompensate by Twenty One Pilots — a friend of mine said this would do in a cantina somewhere in the underworld or one of those mid haunts topside. the multilingual intro, 120 bpm that shifts to 90 bpm real smoothly and "so now you pick who you serve, you bow to the masses / get kicked to the curb for passin' the classes / half empty, half full, save half for your taxes / then overtake your former self" ?!1!1 yet another masterpiece boys thank you so much for this one

the hills - the weeknd / agora hills - doja cat / hotel - montell fish / the machine - reed wonder, aurora olivas / pessimist - lithe / moth to a flame - swedish house mafia, the weeknd / groupie love - lana del rey, a$ap rocky / i need - lithe / dark red - steve lacy / training wheels - melanie martinez

The hornysad genre

Skin and Bones by David Kushner - i have this as a theme to my 4th wolffe clonexoc entry, there's so much longing and yearning and craving in this song to the physical level and it's so whumpy

Black Beauty by Lana Del Rey - basically every single lana song is hornysad 😭 this one with the dramatic drum?? yes.

Jealous Guy by The Weeknd - man do me some electronic and synth piece it's my weakness "i didn't mean to hurt you i'm sorry that i made you cry" one thing about the idol songs is that it's TOXIC and it's perfect for my wolffe x nico love dilemma vibes if you get me

wildflower - billie eilish / love you in the dark - adele / margaret - lana del rey / you can't catch me now - olivia rodrigo / all i know - kodaline / the line - twenty one pilots / arcade - duncan laurence / cardigan - taylor swift / your power - billie eilish / say something - a great big world, christina aguilera

My fic wip is angsty and sobby as kark I need to be sad writing it

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Tags aka your sign to share your entire playlists and have it spread out like a darn charcuterie board: @hellfiresky @foxyaran if you have the time to compile your faves and of course no pressure! Anyone else seeing this, come and jump in!

The "My Playlist Understands Me Better Than My Therapist" Tag Game

So of course I can’t find the post now, but as a writer, particularly a clone-centric star wars fan fiction writer, the concept of the music subgenre the internet calls “hornysad” made me laugh for about 3 business days.

Nobody asked, but in the spirit of having raging ✨seasonal deppresh✨ and a barnacle of creative block on my ass, here are three examples of music I listen to that either speak to my hornysad goblin, or ignite the hornysad goblin within me.

Sleep Token — particularly ‘Rain’ or ‘The Apparition’ or ‘The Summoning’ (I don’t feel like I need to explain this one + there’s also something about mysterious identity that we’ve agreed is hot— why else would “the helmet stays on” be a tag on AO3?)

The Cure — I mean come on…‘High’? ‘Just Like Heaven’? ‘Burn’? I thought of them first for this tbh.

RAYE — her sped up versions of ‘Flip a Switch’ & ‘Escapism’ are simultaneously big sexy and big sad.

-

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Opening the floor to all my fellow clone-loving goblins, particularly @jetii @dystopicjumpsuit @cloneflo99 @captn-trex @lonewolflupe @crosshairs-dumb-pimp-gf @ghostymarni @vodika-vibes @eobe — because I feel like if anyone is going to understand what I’m talking about, it’s you 😂😂

Everyone (18+ obvs) is welcome to join in because I’d love to get to know you feral clone goblins a little better ♥️ I also picked 3 bc this shit apparently makes up like, 87% of my Spotify account 🤷🏼‍♀️

Bonus: the other draft titles for this post because I’m proud of them and they also deserve an honorable mention:

Help, I've Fallen Into My Sad Girl Era Again and Can't Get Up: A Musical Tag Game

Seasonal Depression's Greatest Hits: The Hornysad Tag Collection