#and I still haven't bought the thing which tbh I do kind of need now that I think about it but what the hell is going on

[casiavium]

I opened my computer to buy something I didn't need and ended up organizing my files and writing a resume and applying for a job and starting a cover letter and CV for another. This is usually not at all what happens

[uniformbravo]

since i've spent the past few days essentially staring at nothing but natsuyuu volume covers i thought it'd be so fun and silly to try and redraw them all from memory tee hee. all 30 (thirty) (三十) of them!!! wheee!!!!

i haven't actually looked at them next to the originals yet so guess what time it is!!!! LET'S COMPARE

starting with volume 1. iconic. show stopping. masterpiece. the mona lisa of natsuyuu SURELY i reproduced every single detail perfectly such that it kickstarts my career as a forgery artist RIGHT

well feast ur eyes

(im using the english volumes for comparison btw they have a good clear view of the art)

CAN U TELL WHICH IS WHICH OOO THEYRE SO ALIKE BET U CANT!!! SPOT THE DIFFERENCE LEVEL 1000 WHICH ONE DO U SHOOT

all i remembered for this one was GREEN and it's not even the right shade of green ajgosugdjfkdgj i even made the fuckin. what do u call it. i'll just say yukata??? I MADE IT GREEN AND ITS SUPPOSED TO BE RED i stg if u held a gun to my head & asked if there was any red on vol 1 i'd be DEAD

but i remembered the book of friends is like. weirdly purple? ok well in this pic it looks p gray BUT ON OTHER COPIES...... IF U UP THE SATURATION GKSJKDNFKDG

why is nyanko sensei smack dab in the middle HUH i couldve sworn he was bottom left this is so fucked up and scary. haunted manga volume??????? i bought it from a grarage sale idk you guys-

at least natsume's pose is like kind of right but also that's most definitely a complete accident i can ASSURE u (im rereading this the next day and the pose isnt even CLOSE what are u TALKING ABOUT)

anyway can i just fucking point out the kanji on the book of friends bc that is from MEMORY YEEHAW here's what it's Supposed to look like: 友人帳

LIKE even tho i got the last one wrong ITS LIKE STILL PRETTY CLOSE??? i think i deserve 100 points for this objectively

MOVING ON THO....

OK NOT AS BAD AS I THOUGHT SURPRISINGLY im actually like. i thought i bombed this one completely but liKE THE COMPOSITION??? KIND OF ON POINT. KIND OF GENIUS TBH

i remembered Blue and Madara and like what else do u need rly. butterflies are optional in all scenarios imo

also i NEVER have any idea what natsume's wearing in any of these so i always just like default throw him into his school uniform LMAO u will see a pattern

why is the book of friends burgundy in this one btw. it was GRAY i mean purple definitely purple aha

ok volume 3 im actually scared for i know i fucked up SOMETHING

HGLKFKGLKFKGFN OK!!!!! OK NOT SUPER AWFUL!!!! just noticed i forgor to color the book of friends fukg

main thing i remembered abt this one was the color of natsume's... attire.... and which characters were present. whats sensei doing all the way up in the top corner tho 0/10

return of the school uniform lmaooooo hm. irrelevant who cares plus didnt ask. all things considered this wasn't as bad as i thought. THE NEXT ONE HOWEVER,

hsngjfgnfjn okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

sensei's way cuter in this one than i realized wait wtf this cover's cute af how did i never notice. underrated cover -10 @ me. look at his lil BLEP >:O!!!!!!!

i knew there was some fuckshit going on w the yukata in this one ourhg i was just like hehe greeennnn also sensei's there. my work here is done

what is natsume's pose even hgnkg i was straight up making shit up at this point LIKE the first 6 or so covers are SO hard for me to distinguish in my head i should get a free pass for the poses in all of them like i can do whatever i want IM the artist now

oh god whats next vol 5

OK!!!! like a straight 5/10 TBH i literally forgot i was planning on rating these LMAO

i remembered the like white v-neck shirt thing and his pose kind of??? i had NO idea what to do for the yukata tho i just made it orange and u know what?? close enough. my rule of thumb is just like pick a color and then throw flowers all over it u cant go wrong

taki looks so much more mysterious on the original and also wearing a skirt. i gave her a big stick bc i thought i remembered her having one in general but i think i made that up tbh wouldn't put it past me. got her hat right tho hee haw

cant believe i didn't get natsume's beautiful artwork tho look at that little shit sensei up there god hes so ROUMD literally moma material

PROBABLY my best one yet uhhhh but i maybe cheated JUST a little for this one ITS LIKE BARELY CHEATING STOP BOOING ME

as i was toying w the idea of doing this redraw thing i was still working on collecting my Images and Pictures so i kinda started taking note of a few small things here & there and one of them was just. the general gist of this cover SO LIKE that's why it's so good LOL

forgor the flowers tho. i literally forget everything that isn't a character like immediately BUT OK CUT ME SOME SLACK like after a point the covers start being whole ass scenes which are SO much easier to remember shit abt than the fuckin Green Void (p sure this is the last green void cover tho)

8/10 composition is gr8 but details like the shirt & the yellow flowers are wrong, also the stick is backwards. i literally looked up what that thing is called and forgot already tee hee

OK WE'RE NOT DONE W THE GREEN VOID I REPEAT-

fuck dude. fuck. i rly thought vol 6 was the last one LOL not to spoil but as i was grabbing these images i saw a Preview of what's to come and the green void lasts until fuckign volume TEN LOL collapses onto the ground and dies

so erhermrm this is vol 7 lolllll i remembered the bg flowers this time can u believe hahaha distracts u from the fact that LITERALLY everything else is wrong auhghg

u know what the green void turned into bushes and i think that's beautiful.... like points for creativity on my part tbh. like to be completely honest. 3/10 i got the characters right

YO????? GATE CONFIRMED LET'S GO?????? it's definitely the school gate but i choose to believe natsume & tanuma r in jail for crimes and u should too

actually this is shockingly accurate for how much i goddamn struggled w this one gkjsldkg the CHARACTERS are right the OUTFITS are right SENSEI'S THERE urgh i knew one of these covers had tanuma holding sensei like that but i couldn't remember Which

i can't believe i actually got tanuma's pose that close i rly thought i was bullshitting w that one wtf. +5 points instantly

do u like how i just scribbled sensei wherever lmaoooo i drew natsume & tanuma & went like. i think sensei's in this one. PLOP

6/10 honestly closer than i thought

OK........ I SEE........ literally dies

this one i was getting MASSIVELY confused w vol 4 bc i could remember nothing distinct abt either of them except Green and natsume w Big Doggie

i remembered the BARE essentials of the composition but not much else... since i thought the green void was gone i put the green i remembered into natsume's yukata (and then put him in the school uniform again LOL) and went WELP. GUESS I'LL DIE NOW

2/10 honestly one of the worst fucking ones lskdjflsdkg

OK THIS ONE.... i almost died irl trying to remember this shit, even before i started and i was still viewing the covers i was like there is no way in HELL im remembering this shit for vol 10. and i was right

like. Purple. White Mask. Antlers. WILD layered clothing. at first i drew the mask as an actual deer skull but later had a straight up epiphany and redrew it like that which... still not correct but I MEAN.... IT'S PRETTY GOOD

i cant believe most of the purple is the bg oughgh his clothes are WHITE..... this is fucked up. i DID remember the stick tho, bells and everything!! actually bells and nothing else!!!

7/10 ok it might seem high but CONSIDERING this design..... i think i did shockingly well TBH

NOT...... the worst...... one....... i could've sworn he was sitting on a pile of books this is so sad that woulda been so cute 😭

for a second when i saw the real cover again i thought he was sitting ON the bookshelf and i was about to RIOT but its okay it's a step stool. still physically possible

my version of natsume here is so much more like Proper gksld he looks like a school boy... studying in the academy's library... hardworking student.... but no the real one is just sitting there like a wet puppy orz he's not even READING i rly thought he was reading. this is such a huge L

cannot fucking believe i was right abt the window tho. like wrong shape but the fact that it's even there.... giving myself a whole ass point for that one

5/10 i rly thought i nailed this one gksgndfkj

also RIP TO THE GREEN VOID U WILL NOT BE MISSED o7

ah shit ok. well one of them was in the school uniform at least fjgugjdkf

why is my natsume lying there like hes abt to start a therapy session, boy would NEVER-

also the plushie hmnmhnmhngnf i dont KNOW i knew there was some kind of prop there but like gun to my head i woulda died again. main colors that stood out to me for this were green and that bluish purple so i got those into mine but i mean. well u can see

once again a random window in the bg i got correct let's gooooo 5/10

LMAO SPITS OUT MY DRINK WHOOPSIE!!!!!!

this is so fucking bad im choking im gurgling LOLLLL i was SO sure natsume's paper had an eye on it i was POSITIVE this is so fucked up. i mean obvs i picked that up from sensei but like i didn't even KNOW sensei was there. or that there were bg characters at all uuuuuououohghh (matoba ignored +5)

i was like. black yukata red flowers CHECK piece of paper w eye CHECK horns CHECK i even went back and edited the horns to be more accurate i was so proud of myself sobs

ok but i knew it was shit trasjh when those were the ONLY details i could remember bc obviously there was gonna be more going on I JUST DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH MORE.....

straight up dookie/10 no jk fr like 3/10 @ me u need to use ur EYES

OK..... I WAS VERY CONFIDENT ABT THIS ONE..... except for his outfit i knew i was bullshitting that BUT I THOUGHT I NAILED THIS ONE....... the one fucking time i didn't just default to his uniform LMFAO

even remembered the pink flower ball smh and for WHAT. i knew he was sitting in a pile of plushies & blankets or smth but no way in HELL was i even gonna attempt to draw them with a speck of detail. but HEY the plushie i drew for vol 12!!! i knew he existed Somewhere. he doesn't even have a horn tho thats so fucked up i thought he did

obviously the most striking thing abt this cover is the bg w that deep burgundy & the circular window so that was the main thing i nailed down right away (my palette was more muted tho). also natsume sitting there w paper in his mouth but i thought he was mid return when rly hes playing like keep-the-balloon-off-the-floor or whatever the fuck he's doing. i love u natsume

(if i thought he was in the middle of returning a name WHY didn't i include the actual book of friends flksglkd automatic fake fan/10)

8/10 this was like my ace in the hole i was like if i got nothing else i got U volume 14!!! and then

NOT THE FAMILY PHOTO......... FUCKING DIES

man idk shit just end me. whats even going on in this cover im gonna deck u natori. dont ask why this makes me want to commit violence hes just so. URHGHGHnH

i dont know whats happening to me rn looking at this im losing my fucking grip dude who let this happen im gonna hurl this volume into the sun??? i think???

why did i add the other two youkai i just thought they should be included but i played myself i had to draw them from memory and for WHAT. pls tell me i got them at least a little bit right i stg

it's the crossed legts dude if he was just sitting there like a board the way i drew him id be like ah shit it was just natori sitting not natsume too but he just HAS to cross his legs and the fucing elbow propped up holding the glasses im S MAD IM SO MADdestroy him

it's 1am i gotta go. i have to go. right now my mom is calling me i have to fukcng. 4/10 i got the couch colorr right. bye

---

tumglr...... only allows 30 pictures per post..... bc im not on desktop? or is that a site-wide thing now. in any case this is getting long so i think im gonna split it right down the middle into 2 posts so there u go, first 15 volumes. so far my score is ermmm

well i didn't rate the first few volumes.

vol 1: 6/10 decent

vol 2: 6/10 also decent

vol 3: 5/10 composition is Scramboled

vol 4: 2/10 it's SO BAD

so now my overall score is 74/150 fjggudjofjdkgjk doing gr8!!!!!!!!!

ok bye for real ✌️

[purplesurveys]

1944

Is your closet disorganized? It's not at the moment. I do have a great talent at slowly making it more and more chaotic lol, but when that happens I just do a hard restart and fix it back to how the clothes should look like.

Have you ever been to Times Square? I haven't but I would love to. I feel like I'd really enjoy my time there.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? The only show I really ever enthusiastically rewatch would be Friends. I can't do that now, though, since they took it out of Netflix a few days ago. :( It's moving on Max when it launches in the Philippines later this month, and since I already have an HBO Go subscription (which will apparently rebrand into Max) I think I won't stay Friends-less for too long.

Have you ever accidentally left something valuable at a shop before? Not a shop, but I've left some stuff behind from events and never got to recover them. The things I feel most sorry for losing would be my pink Hydroflask tumbler (which I've had since college, so I was very attached to it huhu) + my power strip that I had bought just the day before.

What makes your life remarkable? Idk but I'm generally proud of myself for achieving as much as I have at 26 considering how shy I used to be or how much I really doubted myself since childhood. I still do...but I guess I'm just good at faking it till I make it.

Are you putting off doing anything that you really need to get done? Kind of, yeah.

What is the last thing you scribbled down on a Post-It note? Just work notes.

What are you currently listening to? I can hear the ceiling fan and a bit of my mom's TV upstairs, but other than that it's quiet.

How would you react in discovering your best friend was seriously obsessed with you? I'd tbh go straight to her fiance and ask what's going on and how I can help.

Do you care if your produce is organic or not? No.

Do you have any children? If so, how old were you when you had them? If not, do you think you ever will? No. I don't think I will.

Do you eat meat? Yes.

Do you get enough calcium? I like to think so. I drink milk everyday lol, for one.

Do you think before you act or speak? That's something I've definitely learned how to do more and more the older I've gotten and the more people I meet.

Do you have a SwagBucks account? I have no idea what that is.

Are you nosy? I could not care less.

Do you always try on clothes before purchasing them? No, it's such a hassle. I just pick something if I like it, find it in my size, and pay. Fitting takes such a long time considering I'll get it anyway lmao

Is there anything in your closet with the tags still on? I don't think so, no.

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? It's the right size but I'm also looking forward to having a bigger room just for the sake of being able to experience having a spacious room.

Do you add people you don’t actually know on Facebook? No and I genuinely don't understand why others do that. Facebook, at least where I'm from, is different from other platforms in that it's designed for your personal network and keeping up to date with their lives. That said I uhhhh would have absolutely no reason to be adding strangers and knowing about their vacations or seeing their family photos. That idea is so weird...even stalkerish...to me.

What’s your favorite condiment? Mayonnaise. Chili garlic oil. Sesame oil!!!

Would you even want to know how much of your life has been spent online? Yes just out of curiosity but I know I'd be so ashamed of myself once I find out the number haha.

Do you shop at American Eagle? No.

List 5 things you’re afraid of: Losing a loved one, fire, cockroaches, rats, sharp objects.

Have you forgotten anything important recently? Ahaha last Wednesday I was out for a work meeting only to realize pretty late that I did not have either of my debit cards + my driver's license – I had transferred them into a smaller purse the other day when I went out for a family lunch and never got to place them back in my wallet. Fortunately I had my employee ID with me, but I still felt so stupid.

Would you say you’re an honest person? More often than not, yeah. If anything, I feel like I'm only ever dishonest toward myself – like about my personal feelings and frustrations and insecurities and such. In front of everyone else, though, I find it a waste of time to bullshit them.

The last Facebook message you received from the opposite sex, what did it say? It was just him telling me how to buy a PS5, haha.

What does the nicest message in your Facebook inbox say? I don't really keep track of stuff like that.

Is your best friend single? Nope.

What color was the ink of the last pen you wrote with? Black.

What does your pencil-case look like? I don't have one.

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? Good question. I wanna say Amici? I've had their food before, but I've never actually dined in their restaurant. It was a pleasant experience and the servers were all very nice.

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? Around a month ago when I asked for permission to use Tina's laptop since she has Canva premium on hers.

Who do you dislike the most? Explain what you dislike about that person. I don't like one of my uncles because he's always been a useless dad who's done nothing but drag my hardworking, self-made cousin down...he's also a terrible TERRIFUCKINGBLE husband and has never kept a stable job...not to mention the fact that he subscribes to Nazism? You're fucking Filipino, what the fuck are you doing being a Nazi hello ahahaha??? It's just so frustrating watching a man have no redeemable qualities whatso fucking ever lol

What’s the longest you’ve liked someone without doing anything about it? I dunno. Like 2, 3 months? I asked them out immediately as I wanted to give it a shot, at least.

Do you use straightening irons on your hair? What brand? No.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? Single. At least I think she is. I don't pressure her to tell me anything.

Is there anything you would like to complain about? Yeah work sucks and I wish I could find something that brings me joy again.

What’s the first line of the last song you listened to? "Dearest, darling, my universe, would you take me along?"

Think of the person from your past that hurt you the most. Is there anything you would like to say to that person? No.

Does your mom like the last person you kissed? I knew she did.

Now your cell phone, what color is it? Light blue.

What was so special about today? The actual day sucked, but this evening I treated myself to sushi and found out that WWE Network is back in the country so I subscribed heheh. First thing I watched was Paul Heyman's HOF speech and let's just say I'm so glad I chose that.

If somebody tried to steal your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend, what would you do? That's kind of happening already. Gut reaction was to talk shit about the person directly to Angela, especially because she was already crying about it so I had permission to be angry and petty lol.

What was the last thing you said to your mother? Can't remember exactly but she was asking me a luggage-related question since she'll be flying out with dad in the next two weeks, and I just answered her on that.

When was the last time you cried? LOL I teared up a bit watching Hello, Love, Goodbye this afternoon - but since I was watching with my sister and I never cry in front of family, I made up some bullshit excuse that I had to pee but really it was so that I could let it out in the bathroom hahaha

Has anyone made you upset lately? Not really, no.

What are you looking forward to? Seeing my dad. Not working in my workplace anymore...

Does anyone completely understand you? Sure.

Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Yeah.

Do you miss your past? I do miss some parts of it, but it's all in a nostalgic sense. I'm not like, caught up or feeling stuck in 2016 or anything like that.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? I do.

Are you a forgiving person? No.

Do you say sorry first? Yes, if I have to.

Do you like cats? I like cats now - Max helped me with that. I'm still very much a dog person but my previous slight dislike for cats is pretty much nonexistent now.

Has someone promised you something and broke it? Sure.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Just the pets.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night? It doesn't, and unless it's coming from family I'd be a little pissed off if anyone would be calling that late. I would also 100% ignore the call.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? No.

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn’t? For a period of time I felt this way, but it's also been a long time since I got over it.

Are you anything like you were a year ago? Yeah, in that I'm still a ball of nerves and anxiety at work everyday.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Sure.

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends or inside alone? I'd love to spend a day with friends, mainly because I already work from home 5 days a week and spend most of my time alone.

Think back to this time last year, were you happy? Not completely.

Has anyone upset you in the last week? Sure.

What should you be doing? I should be sleeping but like it's the weekend so I want to make the most of my precious free time before work shoots up my blood pressure again.

Describe how you feel right now in one word. Escaping.

What would you do if you found out one of your friends was going for the person you liked? I don't like anyone.

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or a sink? I can't drink from the sink in the first place; tap water is not a thing here.

Will you ever run away and get married in Las Vegas with no notifications to either of your families? No.

Have you ever thrown your iPod in anger? I can't recall ever doing so.

Who did you last have a heart-to-heart conversation with? Angela.

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? Sorry, no.

Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you mad? Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo? Probably not. Needles be freaky.

[sillystardew]

I haven't seen this before but I thought it was a cute idea, so if you like it i'd love to see it written

My prompt is the farmer being good with kids and genuinely enjoys spending time with Jas, so they agree to keep an eye on her when Shane is out of town for therapy or something (and for sone reason Marnie can't).

Cue Shane coming back and seeing Jas curled up on top of the farmer, both of them asleep on the couch after watching a movie or in a blanket fort or something, and Shane instantly having a "Fuck, I love them" moment.

The scenario could take place while they're dating, already married, or while they're still friends and this is the moment he realizes he's in love with them, i'll leave that up to you.

I'm usually an angsty mf living for the pain but tbh I just want Shane to be happy lol

Thank you!!

AGHH yes i love this prompt!! I think i saw it once or twice over on Ao3, its such a cute one!!

Gender neutral reader 🦇

-Shane spends a lot more time with Jas than he did before he started going sober, which now includes picking her up from school and hanging out with her on the weekends and during festivals

-He wants to make sure this kid has a good life. She had a rough start, and he doesn’t want to be another reason for her to feel miserable.

-so, when the day comes that Marnie’s busy and he can’t take care of her, he’s a little stumped.

-normally he would have left her with Vincents mom, but he knows she’s busy today, so who else can help take care of her?

-Well.. the farmer’s not too busy today, right? Maybe she can hang out on the farm? After all, she always talks about all the pretty plants the farmer is growing.

-He asks her, and Jas is ECSTATIC. Jas was super shy when she first met the farmer, but now she loves talking about all the fun things they do and how she wishes she could hang out with them. And now she CAN?!

-She’s hopping and skipping the whoooole way there.

-He knows you wouldn’t do anything stupid with a kid around, so he trusts you to watch her while he heads into the city for his therapist appointment.

-He decides he’s probably going to pick something up in the city to bring back for you two, like food or a game

-anyway! You and Jas are gonna have so much fun :))) I imagine she probably likes to make jewelry (kandi-style or rainbow loom!) so you guys can just hang out at the house and make cute little crafts

-She really likes movies, so you also watch a few of those. You aren’t really sure how long Shane will be gone, so you pick out quite a few

-You two eventually fall asleep on the ground in front of the tv, surrounded by blankets, pillows, and any other soft thing you could find. Your pet is curled up right alongside you two in a big cuddle pile :)

-When Shane gets back and nobody answers the door, he guesses you probably took her out to explore somewhere. He knows you keep the door unlocked though, so he walks in to set down the things he bought, and-

-Oh. My. God.

-He thinks he can feel his pupils dilate when he sees you two passed out on the floor in a little puddle of blankets. Is he crying? Are those tears?

-Takes a moment to compose himself - he literally can’t handle how adorable this is. Why is his heart fluttering? What is going on??

-He turns the tv down since it’s still running, and in the process accidentally wakes up Jas, who immediately glomps him.

“Uncle Shane!!”

“Yoba, kid, keep it down!”

-Her jumping around wakes you up, obviously

-He immediately starts thanking you and apologizing for taking so long

-You’re like, half asleep. You dont process any of it

-after you wave them off and they start heading home (with Jas rambling the whole way about what you two did) he kind of just feels a dawning “oh, shit.”

-lets just say he didn’t get the recommended hours of sleep that night

(If anyone wants this turned into a proper fic and not just this bulletin-style type of writing, let me know! Im thinking of starting an Ao3 account for a shane fic I’ve been working on, so I need other things to post on there too ❤️)

[bayonettaboy111]

Stuff I've ordered from Victoria's Secret/PINK !

Okayy so basically, for whatever reason, I ended up getting a $100 PINK gift card from my mama cause I guess she didn't want it. Now obviously I'm not going to buy lingeries, since I'd really have no use for them, so I decided to look at the cosmetic stuff! So heres what I bought :3 I would add photos but its an odd number of them so it would look weird🙁

・┆✦Bond Repair Treatment Mask✦ ┆・ This was kind of a compulsive buy since it was on clearance but you know, nothing wrong with treating myself 🤷‍♂️ people were saying it made their hair shiny so I added it to my cart. Though I'm not sure if it'll work all that well for me since I was curly hair - like 2c - so we'll just have to see.

Okay so I had doubts about it when I first got it but it actually works really well!! The ends of my hair aren't as split looking and my natural curls have been holding a tad bit longer. My only warning would be that it's very liquid-y so you need to be really careful not for spill it if your in the shower. 9/10

・┆✦VS HIM Platinum Body Lotion✦ ┆・ I'm gonna be honest, I've never really used cologne before 🧚‍♂️...I've mostly ever used unisex stuff. But I've been wanting to try a cologne and this VS ones had good reviews on other websites. I was going to buy the duo set but it made me go over my giftcard limit so I just settled for the body lotion. Good enough

I haven't exactly been able to wear this as much yet, as I don't really have a perfume/spray that would fit with it, but I can say it smells really good! I'm sorry I can't give a full opinion on it ahhh... 8/10

・┆✦Natural Beauty Exfoliating Body Scrub (coco milk+rose)✦ ┆・

Don't really have much more context for this other than I've been needing a exfoliater since my skin has been so dry.

Tbh it good just be the way I'm using it, as I don't have a loofah or anything like that yet, I only used a wash cloth. But anyway what I mean is that I didn't really notice much exfoliation?? I don't know it could be because I've only used it a few time or because of the fact I haven't exactly shaved my legs but yeah 😭 I need to use it more though!! And the good thing is it's very think and smells + feels good. If I get better results later I'll update. 6/10

・┆✦Conditioning Coconut Body Serum✦ ┆・

This was from a newer line of the body products so I thought I'd try it out. It's vegan too, which I think is good.

I really like it! It's made my skin really soft, esp my hands which looked like they were through hell..so very good results! 10/10

・┆✦Love Spell Duo✦ ┆・

I'll have you know that I'm an absolutely D RIDER for Japanese cherry blossom sets. I have both the body sprays from Bath and Body Works and I reallyyy wish I could find a good cologne/perfume like it. I decided to get the duo cause if I don't really like VS's spray then I'll probably still use the lotion.

It does smell really nice, it smells like Japanese cherry blossom but a bit more peachy. I will say though that it hardly lasts at all..it fades after less than an hour unless you do the vaseline trick. I usually only wear it after showers or before bed because of that. As for the body lotion, it really just smells like peaches. Overall the smell is nice but the longevity is bad. (I probably will still be trying the others though) 5/10

The package comes in a few days so I'll make sure to review in about a week either by editing this post or making a new post!! See y'all later on that.

P.S, this post literally took so long to make for what omggg

Reviews made on 4/4/2024 <3

[angabby-zzz]

Here's a thread for stuff I've considered for the new guys

I think I said it's like lowkey sitcom-ish for a good part of it cuz it's just like. Slice of life stuff with how hwa and ys show up. And it stays like that for a good while until other stuff starts happening but whatever

I think a good way to section it would be like. Pre-story stuff. Pre-monster stuff and post-monster stuff

Idea 1 (+1/2)

This is like really simple and not rlly that deep (until idk what happens in post-monster stuff) but a bit after ys starts getting assimilated more into like this new environment he's in he ends up like seeing this girl (6) and it's kind of like. Idk lowkey I guess? On his part until suddenly one day he brings her home to hang out (/ he's alr there w her and sc+jhn show up) and sc + jhn are like um who is she. And he's like my gf 🥳 and the other 2 r like 💀💀 oh ok thats cool come in. Cz like 1) they didnt have any idea of whats up 2) they realize just how parenty theyve become w him. But it's cool they end up being chill w her cuz theyre both like weird and at least he somehow scored a super nice girl who rlly matches w him

I also had a funny idea of sc seeing her (be it in that same situation or another instance) and realizing she's wearing one of his shirts/hoodies and being like 💀💀💀 internally. Which comes from me playing around with the possibility of ys sometimes stealing (or maybe even being passed down) sc / jhn's clothes

Idea 2 (+1/2)

This one has like a lot more what ifs/choices I have to make but basically it involves how sc + yh + jh are related and their [current] dynamics

Sc is yh's older brother and they lived together w their parents until around when sc was done w highschool. Jh is their younger cousin who had to move around houses following different like. Problems n stuff that happened (I haven't rlly decided on what they were specifically but yk)

Anyway so when jh was young smth happened w his parents so they weren't rlly in the picture anymore (not necessarily death) and he ended up living with yh + sc for a bit. It was kind of whatever but a little awkward cuz of what happened + they're like oh we have to pay a bit more attention to him since he's hard of hearing and younger.

But then like smth Else happens* and jh ends up having to move out and he goes with like. Their grandparents or something. And at this point sc had recently(?) moved out so it's just yh now

*I'm pondering having it be partly something to do with yh or like his kinda jealously towards jh (and sc being out of the house now) but idk. Also some kinda problem just like generally w his parents idk if it'll be related to jh or not

Anyway that's why yh kinda started drifting apart from his family (aside from jh) and why they r like that. Idk

^as for jh now (idea 1/2) he's living w his grandparents which is like. Not the best?? Ig? But it could be worse. I'm still kinda deciding on how they are w him but I do think they'd be the type to kinda undermine/baby him cuz he's disabled. Idk maybe they bring him to church or to hangouts w their old people friends. It's okayish for him cuz he gets work out of it (walking the dogs of those same friends / mowing their lawns etc) so whatever. That's why I mentioned he gets out of the house so much lol 😭

Idk how this affects the idea I had for him being the designated driver of his friend group (will he even be bought a car or offered lessons?) but whatever that's for another day

Idea 3

Tbh like outside my own head this doesn't sound very fun or silly like I'm planning on having it be but I'll include it cuz I need to get over fear lol

Anyway originally I was planning on having it be a kinda like cheatingish thing where one of them starts talking to this girl and then the other Also finds a date a bit afterwards only for them to realize theyve been w the same girl the whole time and they're like 😬 damn. We're still cool right. 🤪 And that's it and they like have fun on their own like #best friends

But yk idk I think I could rework it somehow. Maybe it was less cheating and more "never rlly talked about terms or if they were rlly dating fr or anything" kinda thing. Or its a miscommunication episode wowwww everyones favorite trope ever. They think they're being cheated on but no they're both dating a twin wowww. Idk. Anyway again disclaimer this isn't supposed to be super tragic or life ruining it's just an awkward event that happens within like. A week or two at most

Idea(s) 4

Tbh I already forgot if I included the possible friends concepts I have for jh in my first post. But anyway there's 2 I have so far. Both girls and like his age.

One of them is like tbh just a copy of that deaf girl from andi mack except like. Obv more my kinda style I guess? Idrk when she would pop up other than maybe poking fun at like some guy (maybe woo Lol) in asl with jh or something. But she might exist. She's cute she's kind (mostly) she's cool

The other one is Another disabled girl (though I haven't thought far enough to say what specifically she has) but she's more like. Idk extroverted or outdoorsy to match that aspect of jh. They're kinda just like passing friends rather than being ppl who like. Hang out after school or something. Maybe she's on some kinda sports team or smth. Tbh this has like potential for her to be somehow connected to sgf too but idk

Idea 5

So like I already forgot if I have anything else I've thought of so I'm just gonna go to post-monster stuff with this one and that'll be all

This is like rllyyyyy undecided moreso than the other stuff and it's more like. Finding out hwa and ys are experiments who were either let out of or escaped from their lab or wtv. Idrk how it happens but at some point maybe ys goes crazy mode and starts destroying everything in one of the main gangs houses so everyone's like freaking out and then maybe once (somehow) everythings calm again there's this like knock at the door and jh opens it a little bit and its very lilo n stitch / that one movie with ramona flowers like Um Yeah We're Here To Pick Up These Guys and jhs like 😐 dang thats funny they just left (camera pan to ys and hwa jumping out a window)

There's also a separate bit very similar to this Before that happens where jh's just like on the street walking his dog or something and some guys come up to him like hey we're looking for these guys do u by any chance have a connection to them or something. And he's like 🫤 no sir can't say that I do. Have a good day. And he walks away. This is rlly awesome to me personally so don't be surprised if I make this a reoccurring thing.

Wait also new ending to the post (idea 6 kind of)

Just wanted to make disclaimer that despite my silly thing of "quiet workaholic person and their weirdo cute friend" with jh/ys + sg/sgf isn't meant to be like a 100% genderbending kinda thing nor does that mean that ys would be super besties with sgf / sgf would get along with jh / etc I'm making this more ig realistic than that lol 😭

[hazbincalifornia]

Hazbin Liveblog: Episode 5

That promo picture is encouraging, let's gooo!

Bedheaded Vaggie is adorable. I love her.

HUSK HAS A FUCK MONDAYS MUG

Everybody seeming concerned except for Niffty is great. Also, frazzled Charlie hair is cute. Me before I brush my hair, tbh.

Have we seen Charlie in just her suspenders in the 'main' series? I rewatched the second half of the pilot more than the first so it's the look I really liked on her, too bad it's showing her as down to her last rope here.

Huh, I was wondering how that worked! I imagine Lucifer, since he can only see the evil in humans, bargained to save Hellborns in exchange for Exterminations being only targeted at the 'just evil' Sinners, since Heaven probably said 'it's this or we kill everyone'.

AMON SPOTTED IN CHARLIE'S CONTACTS... which means that my Aamon is spelled wrong. Oh well. Not gonna bother fixing that, it'll differentiate them if he ever shows up anyway.

I like how all the egg boys have different contacts, but they're still labeled 1, 2, 3, ect. Do they all have their own phones?

Big bombshell that Lilith and Lucifer split, but all I'm looking at is that little drawing of Angel as an actual spider in the background.

Oh, of COURSE Niffty would want him.

I like how, as opposed to the strained faces in the Loo Loo Land portrait, Lilith, Charlie, and Lucifer all genuinely look happy in their portrait- wide grins and happy eyes. There was something at some point, it just... didn't last.

Huh. He really is a goof.

Staring at the giant pile of ducks with 'important things' is great. I'm not sure really how to feel about him yet? I wonder how people who were 'fans' of him think of this. (He's one of the 'I'm waiting for canon to see how I feel before getting attached' characters, like the Vees.)

I always sort of assumed that the building itself came from Lucifer, I don't remember if that was something mentioned at some point or just a headcanon that I had, but now that makes me wonder, does she just have mountains of Princess Cash that she bought it with if he didn't even know?

Huh, he still wears a gold ring on his pinkie finger?

Angel's 'oh god this is cringy but I feel bad for her' expressions are top-notch but I'm wheezing at Husk's flat-mouthed stare and Pent's fucking.... crying cat face. They don't know what to do with Niffty so she's just got a blank smile.

Oh hey, some kind of diagram of the rings! They'll be easier to look at than the shot of the elevator in Ozzie's!

If they only had an hour to clean up, I see why the 'it's a boy!' banner from that one promo clip was there, lmao.

OH MY GOD HE IS TINY, I thought that was just perspective in that one show but he's actually shorter than Vaggie, holy shit

Have we seen Razzle and Dazzle before now? I imagine we just haven't had time to fit them in before now.

Shaking the scepter is funnier than it has any right to be, and Charlie and Husk have basically the exact same expression in the background.

The fact that this is Alastor's first on-screen swear is hysterical. He probably expected Lucifer would know of him but he's taken down a peg- I doubt Luci's paid any attention to individual sinners since the split with Lilith. Beautiful.

I physically cringe into myself with second-hand embarrassment from tv. I did not think the series would provoke that response in me as often as it does, but then again, I don't watch the interview portion of the pilot much, so it probably should have been expected.

Alastor: On one hand, I dislike the idea of being with Charlie. On the other, I need to fuck with this guy for insulting me.

Hey, at least he's not homophobic about it.

You know, from Angel, that feels like he's genuinely trying to make a good impression.

Oh. Oh I normally try to save changing icons but I HAVE to change to Alastor on that pan. My Brand. I just spent like five minutes opening up prime on my computer to get it from there, change it on twitter, and come back here.

I have to say, I did NOT expect the Lucifer song to be Lucifer and Alastor going back and forth but I kind of love it? Also, a flash of the fun neon colors from his pilot song!

Oh my god, I made a comment on the spoiler twitter joking about how it's funny imagining Alastor doing the boring shit an actual facility manager would do but he actually DOES unclog toilets and shit. Fucking incredible. (Granted, it being Niffty means it was probably a special case. Cute that she called him 'sir' though.)

On one hand, a thousand Charlastor cries at this. On the other, him making 'I'm more of a father to her than you are (and I literally met her like two months ago)' his play is a diabolical move.

(I did hear about those leaked character audition sheets that indicated Alastor's age jumped up from his mid-thirties to his mid-forties. My joke about how Angel finds out 17-18 year old Stellaluna has a crush on him and just 'man, kid, daddy issues much?' and she's just 'shut the fuck up' is even stronger now, even though she's actually got a generally-fine relationship with her dads, it's mostly screwed because of outside forces.)

I wonder if that thing going around the Viv might have wanted Weird Al for Lucifer was due to the accordion thing. Probably not, I can see how the personality got her there, but still. Funny.

I feel for Charlie in all this.

Well, Mimzy was unexpected!

I like how Husk looks completely unimpressed while the others are confused. What do you wanna bet she just pops up around Alastor once in a while so he's used to her pulling this?

She's fun! I like her.

Ha, called Husk didn't like her. There's a lot of good background stuff in this episode as the characters react to stuff.

Having Mimzy (as a friend of Alastor's) recount the story fits into things a lot better, and I like the idea that he didn't just go on a giant bloody rampage that first day but started with something more sneaky. I think it fits better.

I was curious if this bit would be in this episode. Alastor's been a bit... tame, in previous episodes? He mostly seemed to aim snark generally or at those who 'deserve' it like Vox, it's great to see him being more of a 'villain' to Husk to really hammer in that while he's different from Val, the comparisons in Loser aren't just surface-level.

Making loan sharks actual sharks is great. Also, Mimzy running over the dude's girlfriend makes me like her even more.

As someone who is Literally Here because a friend told me Alastor was a cannibal after I watched the pilot and it got me interested enough to jot off a oneshot where he shrinks someone and eats them and then start poking around in the fandom, this pleases me down to my very bones.

Huh. With the knowledge that Lucifer and Lilith are separated, Alastor was gone the same amount of time she was, Husk's comment about how he's on a leash too, and now he's genuinely trying to uphold the idea of the hotel in some small part... I really wonder if Lilith did actually task him with this in some way, especially with a comment someone made about how him showing up moments after Charlie called her mom in the pilot might not be just how the scenes shook out.

Oh, this song is so sweet. Lilith having no face in the flashback is A Choice though, especially with how her card is faceless with just a mouth as well. (Which may even tie back to the idea of her working with Alastor- it's the same sort of grin he has.)

The animation here is... a little wonky though. It feels like it's a bit 'movement for the sake of movement' again, wanting it to look fluid but without certain direction. The song itself is lovely, though.

Vaggie's got something to hide, doesn't she? Does... does Charlie not know if she's a fallen angel?

[scarfacemarston]

It all sort of happened quietly but the lead writer for rdr left rockstar Kojima-style bc of the similar direction the company is taking. Afterward nothing new ever came about, no dlc, no continued online content, and no attempt to even look like they were trying. It’s really sad but we’ll probably never have any official rdr game content come out again. The closest we could probably get is the writer making a new western series, since with all the grace they gave it after he left I doubt rockstar would be kind enough to let him take the IP and characters with him even once it’s completely dead.

Tbh it sort of feels like the entire gaming industry is in a dark age? I’m having a hard time thinking of one major company that hasn’t heel turned towards pay-to-win mechanics and child gambling. It’s such bullshit

Ah, that makes sense. What a damn shame. As I've said before, I was surprised their corporate minds didn't think that there is SO much money that could be made out of the series. I am still finding lost files for rdr 2, but nothing that says anything about a DLC. Just cut content. It’s obnoxious that they couldn’t even finish the story for us. Even if it would be one final set of missions

Red dead online ONE as in Red Dead Online from the FIRST Red dead game is actually still up and running and pretty active. I have the game on ps3 and I THINK those who stream it can access it as it is. You can play as ANY character from the game. IF you have access to it, I highly recommend you play it. It’s not the same as rdr 2 online, but it has a lot of good going for it. Today was the funeral, I think I heard?  I didn’t get to attend. I’m out of town for work.  Poor OC Alex and poor Abigail Marston don’t get to have their days in the sun anymore. (Actually, you can play as Abigail in red dead online 1, but still.) I have to agree with you. Gaming culture needs a revamp and it starts with the creators. People are like, "Why do you focus on so many older games/fandoms." Games are broken upon release . There are too many transactions as you said. Finally, they are too damn expensive and we can't even get the tech right. Except for Lego Star Wars which I waited for reviews, I haven't bought any "new" games. I always wait at least a year or two. Which apparently makes content "Too old". To be fair, RDR 1 was from 2010 and the 2nd one was 4ish years ago. And then fandoms can also make or break the experience. RDO has brought a lot of people together and a lot of people have made friends. I have. But the friends I have now agree with me that it's so expensive to buy games and have the time/energy to play them. It takes more effort. RDR woke something up in people. I think there are other games like that, but as things break down, that's becoming less and less. Vampire the Masquerade is my other huge favorite game series. Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines from 2004ish was a disaster but it still had a lot going for it. The community of developers still came together and VTM Bloodlines is STILL beloved and thriving. I personally am not interested in anything. Bloodlines 2 had a little promise years ago, but again, the writers were LET GO after they did a ton of the writing and they basically wanted to steal a lot of the work (FROM WHAT I UNDERSTAND). A new publisher has picked it up. but I don't trust it either. It's just going to fail ad games like VTM Swansong just doesn't have the same magic, and horror. Same with the so called visual novels or IPs like Werewolf the Apocalypse. Game IPs that have been around for decades. Hell, even animal crossing and other nintendo games are going for some seriously shady practices.  It is what it is and it's so unfortunate. It really is.

[fonulyn]

So my partner is amazing and let's me ramble about RE to them whenever I want to, and even sat down to watch Vendetta with me when I bought it, so the other day I was like explaining Leon and Chris' characters (bc my partner knows how much I love them both lmao so of course that's what I was talking about), and we have both come to the conclusion that Leon is a bisexual disaster, and Chris is a homosexual. The running joke is that Leon is also just generally a whore, out there living his best life, and Chris is the kind of gay guy who no one expects to be gay bc of stereotypes and his habit of never really talking about himself, but he also was never really in the closet about it, so he's surprised whenever people are surprised to learn that he's gay lolol but in all seriousness Leon is not only bisexual, but he's the type to fall in love easily despite all of his background and trauma related to betrayal, so his heart is almost continually broken, either bc he's betrayed or he loses whoever it is he's found himself in love with (and sometimes both i.e. Krauser, and Ada at the end of RE2), either through death or just leaving bc he knows he can't stay/can't be with whomever. As for Chris, maybe I'm reading into it wrong, but despite all of the like, romantic connotations they try to put into some of his games (which I don't. Really see? Like there was some in the first game with Jill but I just cannot see them together like that, neither seem interested in one another like that. And of course, Jessica, who I can't stand, and who Chris is supposedly totally oblivious to? Like she thinks he didn't notice her flirting in RE revelations, and Parker is like "is it that, or is he maybe interested in someone else?" And the assumption there is that he means Jill, but again, I don't see it? Even in that game! But that line of Parker's always makes me think "yeah, he's more than just interested in someone else, he's playing for a whole nother team entirely!" lmao. And I haven't seen much for 5 but I'm sure it's there between Chris and Sheva, and then for 6 from what I understand there really is hardly any talk of Chris in regards to any women at all? 8 has nothing, as well, and the DLC for 7 is just another "Chris loses his entire team in horrific fashion yet again" side plot, so nothing there either), he never seems interested. He's always focused on the task at hand, not letting emotions get in his way, and like, some could argue that that's why he doesn't show interest or why Capcom doesn't create more romantic lore around him, but if they really wanted to Make Sure he was straight and Make Sure everyone playing these games knew that, I imagine there would be some one line little hints in the games of him talking about how he can't let himself get distracted, or in his line of work there are no happy endings or what have you, but. There's none of that. Bc he isn't forcing himself not to be interested, he isn't purposefully focusing on saving the day so he doesn't have to get hurt knowing he can never have whichever high potential for a dope ass protag female character who's constantly sacrificing herself to save him bc what better purpose could they serve, right Capcom?, he's just. There, doing his job and trying to save whoever he can, not getting distracted in anyway whatsoever by any of the women in his life, romantically at least. He still cares way too much, but it never comes off as romantic to me in pretty much any way. Also the note he leaves in his STARS locker in RE2remake, Claire being like "this doesn't sound like Chris at all!" Is funny to me bc like, I don't really remember so correct me if I'm wrong, but she doesn't elaborate on WHY that note doesn't sound like Chris lmao is it bc he's respectful to women at all times and doesn't ever objectify them, probably hates when other people do? Or is it bc he would never be interested in women in this way ANYWAYS, the man is so gay, he must have left this note so that Claire would know something is Up, bc her brother is Such a homosexual.

Anyways sorry, I just wanted to ramble/get your opinion on this. Over-analysing RE is actually really fun lmao

haha not gonna lie, I opened your ask in the car on the grocery store parking lot and tried to read it on my phone, and gave up squinting at the small screen halfway through :'D now that I'm back at my laptop though, lol, all good :'D

first of all I'm happy you have someone to ramble to even though they aren't into the thing themselves! :D I regularly rant about RE fandom things to my brother haha and he listens patiently although he isn't in the fandom at all, he's only played the games and that's it. but he still listens to my shippy rambles lol.

as for your thoughts? makes sense to me tbh. I definitely headcanon Leon as a bisexual disaster most of the time, because it does seem fitting. maybe it's partly because I think he's absolutely breathtakingly stunning and it'd be a shame to deny anyone that, so, naturally he wouldn't care about such trivial things as gender, pfth, love is love.

also Leon falling in love easily? absolutely. too damn easily. c'mon this is a man who gets attached to anyone who shows him even the tiniest amount of basic kindness in the matter of minutes. he canonically forms attachments with Claire, Ada, Krauser, Helena, Buddy and JD (JD 😭)... whoever else am I forgetting? but this is the guy who meets someone and would die for them five seconds later. so. it tracks.

and you know what, I can 100% see Chris being only into men. because like. I don't see the romance there either when he's interacting with the women in his life? okay, sure, I could imagine something there between him and Jill if pressed seeing the way he so single-mindedly wants to save her and then holds her in the scene after they get that thing off her chest. maybe. but even there it doesn't really feel super romantic to me, personally.

in the first game with Jill there's not... a lot of romance I don't think? sure she falls asleep against his shoulder in the evac helicopter but i mean, i've fallen asleep against a friend like that? not an indication of romance? they're clearly important to each other! i am not trying to diminish their importance to one another at all! they'd die for each other and they'd do anything it takes to protect each other and i do think their relationship is compelling but... i don't really see anything inherently romantic in it.

and Jessica, yeah, Chris is 100% oblivious to her advances. it is implied in the game that he's into Jill instead but other than that there's again zero actual romantic interaction between Chris and Jill. I was actually talking about this with my brother, who said the same, like there were so many chances in Revelations to put something romantic in there between Chris and Jill but there just. isn't? anything? except for Parker's comment. which is why it felt so damn out of place? (and like my brother would've wanted to ship Chris and Jill, he was kinda bummed about this i feel :'D) so interpreting it to mean he's not interested in women at all would actually make more sense lmao.

as for RE5, I've played it twice (with my brother lmao do we see a theme here) and honestly I don't remember anything in the game that would've insinuated anything more than solid partnership between Chris and Sheva?? if someone who's more familiar with the game wants to correct me on this, then please! but at least off the bat I can not remember anything so I think they actually didn't try to even hint at romance for them?

and in RE6 Chris is way too focused on killing "Ada" to have any thoughts about anything else :'D so no. no mentions in there regarding him and any women. at all. not even hints of Jill which is so incredibly weird (and stupid tbh) bc she was made to be so important to him in RE5 and then doesn't even get a mention in RE6? (/shakes fist damn you capcom! the characters exist outside the games they're in!)

I think that's pretty much the main difference between Chris and Leon tbh. Chris sees the job at hand, and he knows it'll help, he knows it'll save people and it'll make the world safer and he's so single-mindedly focused on the job that he sees nothing else. while Leon sees people, for the better or for worse, and he is willing to take detours if it helps even one person in the meantime. like in RE6, Leon willingly ignores the task at hand to go help just about anyone. Chris doesn't want to pause even when pressed bc he has an end goal in mind.

and bear in mind, I am not trying to say this somehow makes Leon better or Chris better or anything. they're both doing this to help. they both have their heart in the right place. they both care. but they're just so different! their personalities, and their way of dealing with things is different! I feel Chris is really target oriented and wants to get the job done. while Leon's easily distracted from it, because of all the damn feelings :'D

but yeah. i love them both, and i think it's really damn fascinating how they're both the good guys, the heroes of the franchise, but they both take to things so differently.

i don't know if any of this makes sense, I think i rambled too :'D but hey-o, it was fun lmao.

and hey no need to apologize at all!! always feel free to shoot me a message if you wanna chat!

[snowfianna]

Fable IV rant:

I'm so pumped up for the 23rd because everything has led me to believe that Fable 4 will be announced this year and the game's existence has been confirmed for a while anyway it's just a matter of time of when will Fable 4 show itself. It's a badly kept secret tbh.

So to those who don't mind a big rant or wish to add on to my rant- here we go!

Can you imagine how good the graphics would be for this game, we've all seen modern games, surely, and they're all bloody fantastic looking. Fable Legends is technically the most recent Fable game despite it being a free to play online game

and that it's cancelled

but it also had a gorgeous look to it all! And the character models did great justice to the concept art and honestly that has my hopes real high because I love the concept art of Fable, specifically from Mike McCarthy, so exaggerated and recognisable- yet in all the games I can confidently say they did not do justice to his character design, specifically for Reaver. Sure, he looks stunning in the third game, but not quite what he looks like in his concept art sadly.

But also, since Fable was made in Unreal Engine (I'm pretty sure at least) we've seen examples of what can be done in Unreal Engine now and it's absolutely breath taking!

If you haven't seen here are some examples and they're so life-like.

Moving on from graphics!

Since Playground Games is behind the development of Fable 4, they would be spectacular at an open spaced world, judging from the Forza games.

I always loved the open world feature added to Fable, it made things more adventurous and you could do so many things that weren't at all related to the main quest to progress the story and it was just thrilling to see there were other things going on! I'd love to just have my dog companion running through fields, fighting enemies left and right and finding buried treasure or forgotten chests.

Run into strangers who request aid in something silly or rather serious and it would be up to you with how you go about the quest or if you even accept it to get renown or gold. Cause a massacre in towns and villages, running off with low morality and plentiful loot- oh one could fantasise of this all day.

Story, characters, writing and voices.

Fable has always had a fun environment of fantasy and a rather good story (despite the curse of mundane or pathetic boss fights in which I hope Fable 4 breaks this cycle) but the one thing that's always kept me on my feet in the games is the writing and the characters. It always just tried not to take itself too seriously, throwing in absurd quests that probably requires cheese or a really weird-looking outfit. It always kept my attention rather than just pure edge and seriousness of life or death.

The characters are a given, the writing done for them all is perfect in my eyes, I love hearing the variations of how characters of NPCs interacted (enough so that I even bought two of the Fable books written by Peter David). Despite Fable 3 not being the greatest at it's time, I found myself absolutely enjoy the characters for how they were- I even cried over Walter's death because it genuinely felt like I lost somebody pretty close (RIP Walter🙏). The writing and the chosen voice actors were superb and I'd love more of it.

I hope this time we can receive a full story instead of how Fable 2 and 3 were where plenty of plot points and such were cut out due to time constraints- thanks Microsoft, very cool. I'm still in anguish when listening to the Developer's Diary 3 of Fable 3 hearing lines that were just never said in the final product and it was definitely not just additional lines that weren't required as it seemed to mention entirely different things that weren't in the game; i.e. Reaver talks about his pirates in Bloodstone and how he misses them- in the final product he never mentions it and it's even shown that he's tried to completely bury his pirate past for whatever reason.

The pacing in Fable 3 was rather strange too, it felt like the revolution should've lasted longer.

Another hope of mine is to have choices that aren't so painfully black-and-white because it's very obvious which is the good or bad option to a scenario- personally for me I'd like to be morally grey rather than pure good or pure evil.

They better have kept the mechanic of your actions affecting your appearance too to the point where you grow horns and get cracked magma-like skin or this slight glow and aura around you and this flawless skin. It kind of died down in Fable 3, only looking more tired or have completely black eyes and the good- eh yeah not much I can say for when you're good. Purity and corruption seemed to also vanish in Fable 3 (at least I think) since you couldn't really change prices of the homes you were renting out, unless I've been a big goof who didn't arrange the rent prices in the game because I didn't know how.

Combat

Combat in all the games was rather straight forward, especially in Fable 2 and 3 where everything was just easy to beat or you could get overpowered around the start of the game. I'd hope the combat improves greatly this time and even bring back real consequences to dying instead of immediate revival with some lost experience and a scar. We need more serious consequences to your actions (this can be applied to all decisions rather than just if you die in a battle) even if it's just having to reload the last checkpoint. Makes things more challenging this way.

Another thing is to make boss fights less repetitive and simple- sure I can forgive it if the boss is from around the start but if they had phases you had to keep ontop of and didn't rely on summoning a bajillion other enemies to strike you, I'd be ever so grateful.

And if there's other characters fighting along side you, I'd hope they'd genuinely be helpful and keep up to speed with the player. I'm sure the AI in the past was the problem for this as AI wasn't at its best during that time so characters fighting by you didn't do too much or just did whatever that wasn't helpful. Now though, AI has improved immensely (I mean look at The Last Of Us 2, the AI is👌) and due to this, I'm sure characters would make battles more fun and the characters be more involved with the fight and even story.

Mana should be brought back as well, in Fable 2 and 3 mana just ceased to exist so you could just endlessly and repeatedly use the same spells and it just gave you too much power and the enemies barely stood a chance.

We need challenges people- CHALLENGES!

Medieval times? Yes.

I love Medieval fantasy and as much as I like the Victorian era too, I didn't think it quite suited Fable, as fascinating as it was to see fantasy turn industrial, it kind of took away from the Fable feel that I so crave. If they have indeed brought the game back to medieval times it means more creatures and enemies are back rather than driven away or limited to the same handful of enemies.

We can all also agree the guns were overpowered, though I did like receiving the Red Dragon late in Fable 2 to absolutely mow down enemies, it was satisfying to say the least. However, guns were far too powerful for the game, so I demand the bows and crossbows back thank you very much- or even throwing knives- I'll take what I'm given.

I'd love to see more of the natural landscape rather than towns or buildings that took over once entirely natural areas (Millfields/Bowerlake). However, I won't object to ruins of old buildings taken over by nature.

Skeptical with Playground Games? Don't be.

Are you worried that Playground Games wouldn't do justice to Fable since it's not Lionhead Studios? Don't be, it's been noted that Playground Games has hired several ex-lionhead workers and plenty other skillful workers to ensure we get the best product. I have high hopes and expectations for Fable 4 even if it's developed under a different studio, I've seen great things from them and I will believe they'll deliver us only the best.

Side note to all this

I will crash and burn if I don't see a crumb of Reaver or Jack of Blades in Fable 4- I don't know how true any rumours are of Fable 4 with time travelling and Jack returning, but we'll just have to see. Reaver still remains as my absolute favourite character of all time and I'd love to see more of him, even see him before he was 'Reaver'.

Jack too, more of his lore is stated elsewhere rather than in the game itself and I'd love to see it all be brought into light and really expand on his lore and make it known- rather than have ever-loving Fable fans like me dig around for these rather delicious bits of canon information.

That's my big rant, feel free to share your thoughts and what you'd look forward to!

Have some accidental art leaks from a Playground Game concept artist- believed to be for Fable 4👀

[that-cheer-up-anon]

On Sunday one of my big bros bought me a second hand bike w a rear rack and front basket, which is great for shopping and school and transportation in general.

I've named her Minnie bc of her mint green colour (and bc I've already used the name Bichael for my friend's bike). I used bicarb soda and white vinegar to get rid of as much rust as I could. I also used a multi purpose spray that should lubricate and prevent rust. It's my first time really taking care of a bike which is kind of exciting.

It's been raining for ages, so I haven't been able to take her out for a test ride yet, but once the weather clears up, I hope that she's roadworthy.

It really is hard being slammed w so many insecurities and confronting that my thought processes don't work outside my toxic home environment. Now that I'm in a safer place I actually have to ask about what others think instead of just assuming, bc I'm so used to my assumptions being correct, and actually communicating is terrifying. Also regular and candid verbal and physical affection????

I hate that I still feel and know that I'm not doing enough, even though I'm currently trying my best w my current mental and emotional capability. I hate that I still think and feel the same way in the sense that I feel like I'm doing my best, but knowing that it's not enough. At least I don't have to worry about the appeasing someone so they don't yell at me part so much. This time it's a lot more to do w personal obligation and guilt.

Yesterday I had a Filo friend as my nail client and her mum called. We told her that we had moved out of home and her Filo mum started saying "you are very naughty girls! Bad girls for leaving home! Your poor mum..." As if I needed to put up w guilt tripping from people OUTSIDE my family and my brain. I know that she didn't understand the full context of our situation but man. Doesn't stop it from hurting.

Also my lil sis accidentally told our mum who we're staying w rn, and my dad knows where they live, so I've been very anxious about my mum telling him and him dropping in for a surprise visit.

I'm also very frustrated and angry at realising some of my behaviour isn't normal and that I now have to be aware of possible triggers. Most of the things that get my anxiety going are pretty common normal things which really make me upset, bc how am I supposed to avoid those?

I also have to talk to my mum about school course finance stuff and tbh I don't really want to, but I can't keep using my big bro as a messenger boy between me and my mum. It's immature and forces my big bro into a difficult position that doesn't really involve him. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk to my parents yet or if I ever will be.

I've got so many things in my mind it's so difficult trying to process anything emotionally challenging. It's already been 2 weeks since we left my parent's house and I'm still going through it, no matter how much I want to already be past it all.

[ultravioletsoul]

hey, i've read your makarov fic (a man's weakness) in ao3 and then found your blog here. been reading some of your tags and now i'm curious as to what you have in store for makarov and the reader. they haven't met yet but i look forward to that moment. vladimir is a mysterious character, but the way you portray him is giving me the feels. btw i like your choice of music too. fitting for a story set in the nineties when he was just a young man.

Hello anon! Thank you so much for your asks, so happy that you’re enjoying the story so far and I’m sorry that I’m taking so long to update. There should be a new chapter this month, since I’ve been working on it c:

IKR! Vladimir is definitely a mystery to many of us since there’s so little information about him in the games, and the devs didn’t bother to explain many things about his past… which sucks because there are some important events of the story that should have been given more depth. In my opinion, Vladimir is an interesting character once you get to know the story behind his actions (which totally doesn’t justify them, of course) and it’s so sad that the writers lost their chance to make an amazing antagonist. Vladimir had a lot of potential but it was wasted.

Thanks! We can’t forget that Vladimir was once a young lad of twenty-something back then, so nineties music it is c:

This is one of my favorite songs, released in 1992, and the first time I listened to it in the 2000s (thanks to my sis who bought the CD) I was mind-blown and kept replaying the track over and over again. Years later I still do that. And it probably fits the mood of what I’ve pictured Vladimir’s life was like during those years.

The nineties were a key moment for Vladimir, the years that changed it all for him and shaped him into a ruthless criminal. 

The Soviet Union had dissolved in 1991 and many republics declared their independence. Asides from a myriad of other problems, the economy in Russia was… well, pretty disastrous and many people were having a hard time while few became rich overnight. 

Not long after Vladimir returns from Chechnya, he is charged with war crimes and forced to drop from the armed forces. That means he lost his job (and an important part of his life, as a career soldier). He didn’t have a single penny on him, the war left him with psychological problems that made it difficult for him to readjust to civilian life (regardless of the bad stuff he might have done in Chechnya), and on top of that he was labeled a criminal by the UN. By his own government, when in his mind he was only serving his country. The fact they were so willing to quickly get rid of him made him feel betrayed and used.

So the most logical step, for him, would be to embrace that life of crime. Many veterans of the wars in Afghanistan and Chechnya became gangsters because… honestly, they didn’t have a lot of options and unemployment rates were high. 

He puts the skills he learned in the military to horrible uses. And he earns money, more money than he could have ever imagined… and he learns that he can do whatever the hell he wants, that the world will bend to his will, if he has the ‘mighty’ dollar in his hand. That’s the discovery of a lifetime for him and shifts his perception of the world. It both thrills him and fills him with rage because as a soldier, he’s always served his country out of pride and love for his homeland. Yet at the same time an array of new experiences becomes available to him. In a world of infinite possibilities, everything is for sale for one price or another.

Let’s consider this all happened post soviet era, and the nineties were wild years for Russia. The vacuum that the Soviet Union had left, and the end of the age of heroes, was filled with hedonism and excesses where every man was out for himself and the country was on the verge of anarchy. The youth was in such a hurry to taste their new freedom, and in a time like that I assure you Vladimir couldn’t have been the exception. 

Does that make him happy, though? At first, it may seem to be the case. Now he had freedom, theoretically, to do whatever he wanted and without a care for the consequences. He could give an eff about the world. He is adrift and with no clear purpose, no real projects in mind other than grabbing as much as he can… and lots of time to engage in self-destructive habits. But the truth is, he’s descended to unimaginable depths of emotional misery because nothing has meaning anymore. Money can buy many things, but it cannot buy a purpose for his existence. Like you said, he only seeks to fill the void in his soul with distractions such as alcohol, drugs, and casual sex, all the things he probably despised at some point like the proud soldier he was, because he’s got nothing left and it’s better to live fast and die young. 

To him, freedom means nothing without purpose. It’s just another kind of prison. 

Tbh I also need more angry emo Vladimir in my life so I feel you ♥♥♥

[punkscowardschampions]

James & Ava

James: I'm so sorry James: I was supposed to be working Ava: Everyone's here, it'd be stupid to say I was surprised and yet Ava: it's fine though, right, because everyone is here James: If I did get caught up in regrets, this would be a good time James: because everyone may well be here but since you are, they may as well not be as far as every part of me is concerned Ava: You can't just say things like that Ava: and NOT expect me to blush Ava: at least it's hot out James: you know I don't expect anything James: least of all at this precise moment Ava: Sadly Ava: Aside from work, where have you been? Ava: No, the question is how, how have you been? James: other than the fact I can't help but notice you now or think about you since the 'then' of last seeing you in an entirely preferably context, I'm fine James: you look more tan, which means I don't need to ask how you are Ava: You are hard to miss Ava: but still undeniably gorgeous, which is really rather rude, actually Ava: I've not been kidnapped by anyone else Ava: lots of time to sunbathe and 'work', if that's what you're into James: if I blush it'll be a green screen effect of sorts, except very red, so don't try & make me, please James: you are incomparable as having the title of the only beautiful 🍅 James: which is, of course, what I'm into, along with what you just listed, as well as many things about you I easily could list Ava: As you asked SO nicely Ava: I too will be very, very good Ava: you are always unmatched with compliments and words too but beautiful 🍅 is up there as the top 😂 Ava: How easily are we talking? James: You must because this outfit has an unmistakable 😈 countenance to it & despite the fact that's less in the sense of roguishness I would like & more in the guise of a child's cartoon creation, it nevertheless still casts you as an 😇 James: thank you James: oh, the ease is almost indescribable itself, ironically Ava: I can't decide if it'd be cruel or a kindness to say you are not the only, nor indeed the most, cartoonishly dressed man here Ava: It's a shame not everything is that easy Ava: or you could regale me over a drink James: perhaps it exists to be both, or to allow you the chance of being cruel to be kind James: in the way that the best offer I can make is, that I order you a drink that we then consume at the same time James: safer but no kinder for being that Ava: Dichotomies are just where things get really interesting Ava: I can handle that James: in the world of rewrites there's one where we're here together & another where we're somewhere else entirely, where we would rather while away these warm hours James: those possibilities are interesting to me Ava: Those are more than interesting Ava: especially the way you tell them James: tell me where you wish you were Ava: Okay, though it feels dangerous to let my imagination wander, it won't want to come back Ava: not in such an uninspiring reality, and especially not if I let it go to you Ava: if we could be anywhere Ava: it probably sounds seriously unimaginative, given the open-ended possibility of the scenario, but my favourite place is my rooftop garden, off from my bedroom, it's so peaceful and hidden and mine Ava: I'd like to take you there James: It doesn't sound in the least un-anything & I can definitely work with that James: [casually but not at all casually just writes them an au life, all the while Chlo is probably like get off your phone] Ava: James Ava: that is Ava: very close to perfect James: I'll willingly accept constructive criticism until it's perfect for you Ava: I don't know how capable I am after that Ava: and it's only not perfect because it's not happening James: but we'll meet in the rooftop garden one day James: dream it if you have to Ava: I've done nothing but dream of you since Ava: but will I have to Ava: can't we carve out even five minutes of time for us to just James: I want to say yes Ava: I know James: Ava Ava: and I know that sentence ended with a but, it's okay James: I heard you say earlier that it's fine because everyone is here, maybe it could be Ava: My friends are easily distracted, definitely Ava: your wife, though? James: it's unlikely she'll miss me for five minutes Ava: yeah? James: where? Ava: Okay, I've got it Ava: we drove here, Jacob just got his license and wanted to go somewhere Ava: I'll go to get something I forgot, follow me when it's safe James: okay Ava: Sadly, he doesn't have the Twilight soundtrack Ava: but we can make do James: I don't have the voice to do such classics justice but that's not to say I won't try my best to give you something you'll enjoy listening to Ava: I've missed your voice James: I won't stop talking until you don't James: a lack of words simply isn't an option around you Ava: might prove problematic when I tell you what else I've missed Ava: but we've got five minutes Ava: we'll make the most of it James: yes, we will James: until the next five Ava: How do you do it? James: how do I do what? Ava: have so much self-control James: is that how it appears? Ava: I know, me asking you Ava: I can see the irony but, yes Ava: it is how it appears James: I've never had less control over myself or the things I would like to do James: all traces there were seem to have ebbed away when we kissed in that club Ava: I'll apologize Ava: if that's what you want James: it's not James: because I've never been more grateful to lose something either Ava: Good Ava: because I don't want to be sorry Ava: it was so Ava: and you are James: I don't want to be in control, you can have it James: or not James: whatever you like Ava: I just want you Ava: Exactly as you are, exactly as you want to be wanted James: okay, I was possibly hasty when I said that there would always be words Ava: aren't you aware of how entirely wantable you are? James: no Ava: I've got the keys Ava: come find out James: [obviously does as soon as he can] Ava: [lowkey pulling him into this car] James: [thank god there actually would be so many people there, Chloe's squad included cos we busy for a while here] Ava: [everyone's busy getting wasted you can have this, not for as long as you want but still] James: [yes because contrary to his wife's post he is not & will not be getting wasted] Ava: [you rude hoe] James: [if you only knew what he is doing bitch] Ava: [ha, just you wait sweetie, also glad you don't know rn, 'cos enjoy it lads] James: [always hooking up in cars, love that for you] Ava: [forever a sneaking mood] James: [JJ would approve] Ava: [#bonding] James: [it's gonna break their hearts when they have to go back] Ava: [I know, like how do you even just like well bye] James: [I literally always think that] Ava: [and someone always has to be the first to walk away] James: [in this instance it should be her because we all know she's the stronger one here] Ava: [yeah, you gotta girl] James: [bad bitch global like it's not killing you too] Ava: [this is all so fine, we just need to keep far, far away from wherever Chlo is and definitely give Teddy a wide berth too] James: [literally your mother's daughter rn as the world burns around you, nah it's fine] Ava: [tah for that skill mother] James: [god knows one of your children should inherit it] Ava: Can I have that drink you offered now James: yes Ava: thanks Ava: [just milling at the sidelines of the bar, so casually] James: [cannot and must not look at her which only makes it look more suspect tbh sir] Ava: [awkward, we know it's packed and this will take ages] James: [regrets that you say you don't have or do ever James but here we are, boy] James: [at least you can grab drinks for everyone you're with and pretend that's where you were some of the time] Ava: [we know no one is checking that hard, even Chlo, part-timer that she is, and that makes me sad tbh] James: [hard same] James: how many has Teddy bought for you since you've been here? Ava: just the two Ava: no Ava: three James: you better take mine as well then Ava: why? James: sibling rivalry or the fact you'll be trying to avoid him for a while, depending on from whose perspective Ava: Fair enough James: nothing feels very fair right now Ava: No Ava: also true James: would you like me to leave? Ava: No Ava: Do you want me to? James: of course not Ava: I'm not going to do anything to make this hard for you, James Ava: you know that, right? James: my life is already difficult, Ava, I should be saying that to you, making sure yours doesn't have to be Ava: You won't make my life difficult James: that isn't true Ava: How do you know? James: because Ava: Have your word not come back fully yet? James: because I've done this before Ava: not with me James: I'm involved, that's enough Ava: What do you want to say right now? James: I don't know Ava: Well, you can say it if you need to Ava: or you can not Ava: I'm fine James: how do you do it? Ava: how do I do what? James: be fine with this Ava: I like you Ava: I knew you were married Ava: what's the alternative for me James: I'm not going to point any out to you James: I don't want you to take them Ava: You know I don't want to either Ava: you haven't forgotten everything that just happened James: no, & that's why James: I like you but this is always going to be hard Ava: What's always? Ava: you haven't promised me anything but another five minutes James: Ava Ava: James Ava: You don't have to worry about me James: nevertheless, I do James: I will, because we don't get to decide how we care Ava: I know you're right Ava: and I know I care about you too and I feel the same James: I know I'd give you those five minutes now if I could James: so I want you to know it Ava: You've already answered the question you didn't pose Ava: I don't get to decide how I care any more than you do James: but you get to decide other things Ava: such as James: such as how far you're willing to take something James: or not James: if you think someone is deserving of how you care about them, or not Ava: that'd be a mutual decision, even if we got off at different points Ava: and yeah, though the jury is out on how much that helps you to stop if they aren't James: it has yet to be a mutual decision in any other aspect of my life Ava: Try it with me Ava: it's been mutual so far Ava: we want each other Ava: we have each other Ava: we both like and care about each other Ava: it's equal not the same James: okay, I'll try Ava: do you want to? James: yes Ava: Alright Ava: that's settled James: [finally does look at her like that's not risky as hell behaviour okay then] Ava: [smiling like that didn't kill you but it very clearly did like hi] James: [when you can't help smiling back cos she's such a cute babe and you have feelings] Ava: [just another filmic moment across this bar] James: [so casual so fine] Ava: [when you can't just run off again like you wanna] James: [nobody wants a drink this bad, the torture] Ava: [seriously] James: [we should say Teddy appears cos not gonna inflict Chloe on y'all ever and then he can grab him to talk before he sees her so Ava doesn't have to like the gentleman he is] Ava: [God bless you boy, soz Teddy it's not personal] James: [I would love to know why he thinks the vibe has changed between him and Ava recently/if he has even noticed lol] Ava: [at least he is a teen boy so he probably has no idea in general, like thinks she just doesn't fancy you back which is true but you know] James: [#confirmed when she throws her cousin at you at her party] Ava: [lil awks but we're fine] James: [they gonna fall in love it'll be cute] Ava: [it all works out in the end] James: [you're welcome for us not being as evil as we could be for once] Ava: [just on this one thing] James: [when you have to make awks smalltalk with your brother now who's probably wasted and you're not] Ava: [that'll be fun, just catching his eye well stealth like soz 😬] James: [the things you do for love] Ava: [gonna make one of your mates text Teddy to 'see where he is' so he'll leave James alone lol] James: thank you Ava: Bit rude he's got himself well more than three drinks 😏 James: however, potentially not the time for me to give him any kind of lecture, all things considered Ava: Perhaps not Ava: Sorry, I know it's weird James: it is, but you know I'm not feeling apologetic about it Ava: That would fall under a regret, so of course not James: I'm going to miss you though Ava: When? James: now Ava: Me too Ava: stand near me, in the next race? James: I may be good with words, but you're unbeatable in terms of ideas Ava: 😊 Ava: I try Ava: anyway, missing me is for when we can't be anywhere near each other, most of the time James: of course you do, hence Kings remains in continued mourning that they aren't your first choice James: arguably that could just be the standard atmosphere at The Vault these days, who can say? Ava: 😂 Ava: well I miss it too Ava: though probably not enough to bump it up the list James: I'll make sure to include missing things for the right reasons as one of the key messages in my book, don't worry Ava: Really, using you as a ploy when you won't even be there next year is well sneaky Ava: should've put that on my exit review James: at least they wouldn't ask me to do any further tours in the future if you had Ava: didn't you enjoy it James: the reason I did & the reason you miss The Vault's glorious atmosphere are one & the same Ava: if you put that on yours they'd definitely not ask you back James: I already have my wife's assurances that I won't be Ava: 😕 soz to next year's intake but I'm not that sorry really James: It's unlikely they'd be that unhappy, even if they knew what they were missing Ava: They would be if they really knew James: once the book comes out, I'll send them my condolences Ava: as long as you keep it out of my dedication, I'd be alright with that James: some flowers, wine or fruit, nothing too indelicate Ava: very thoughtful 😏 James: the budget can't stretch to bracelets for everyone, for which I am the least sorry I have ever been Ava: I'd like to be somewhat special Ava: and if anyone else tries it, it's definitely a scam, I'm sure of it James: I'll refuse to watch the Twilight saga with anyone else, darling Ava: Good Ava: Who else will explain all the nuances to you Ava: can't risk it James: I will not, some risks are beyond unnecessary Ava: never the novel, babe James: or the film adaptation, irrespective of any reservations the fans and critics alike may share Ava: 🤞 they don't think I'm nothing like your description of the girl James: if they do it's a slight upon my writing, heartbreaking perhaps but they are entitled to their opinion Ava: can't account for taste but lackthereof is always unfortunate James: it very much is, as this outfit I'm wearing attests James: the opposite is very much true for yours though Ava: I'm never looking to break your heart James: but? Ava: I might have tried a bit harder if I knew I was going to see you James: you look divine, radiant as ever Ava: You're so lovely James: as are you Ava: you Ava: when are you next free Ava: or how busy are you, probably a better question James: I'll get back to you, given that I'm here now when I was not supposed to be, clearly my schedule is more up in the air than I previously realised Ava: you think with it being such a calendar staple, you'd have had more notice on that James: that would involve talking to me, or wanting me have notice Ava: of course 🙄 Ava: if you were my husband Ava: or lived with me Ava: well, you understand Ava: I want to talk to you so bad James: if you were my wife you wouldn't have to drag me anywhere against my will James: because I want to spend time with you Ava: I won't make you commit bigamy to spend time with me, rest assured James: eloping would take longer than 5 minutes Ava: I know Ava: my family has a history James: yes, your brother's particular history still gets spoken about Ava: Unfortunately James: sorry Ava: His sorry to give, not yours Ava: and I'm not out here holding my breath over it James: of course, but I didn't intend to bring him up James: this situation is tense enough Ava: Yours is literally here Ava: like we said, weird, but not sorry James: okay Ava: Thank God, when you move away, one of the perks is you don't have to come to this kind of nonsense James: you're not having fun? James: I'm stunned Ava: animal abuse for gambling is what I live for James: I'm well aware of why I'm here, why are you? Ava: My friends are James: what are they? James: actual fans of animal abuse for gambling? Ava: I think they just like getting drunk Ava: and putting on nice outfits James: you can do that anywhere Ava: you don't get to wear a big hat Ava: I don't know James: perhaps they should all get married to each other, that's a basic requirement Ava: Give them a few years Ava: sure they will James: I'll be sure to check back in Ava: What's wrong? James: nothing James: I just don't like to think about you somewhere you wish you weren't James: with people who aren't the right people Ava: It's alright, we go places I like too Ava: and they aren't all bad James: happy to hear it Ava: even if they're all slightly too drunk right now Ava: so's most the crowd so Ava: fit right in James: I can get you a car, one that you won't have to wait for your friend to drive, whenever you like James: we aren't both stuck Ava: that's kind Ava: but then I would be at home Ava: no one's about so James: how tempting Ava: If only Ava: you are stuck though James: Technically, I can't leave until she tells me I can but what if I didn't? So far as she's concerned, I could still be James: fitting into that crowd of mostly too drunk people Ava: Is she that oblivious? James: she's had that much champagne Ava: Tempting is right James: if she realises, she'll call me & I'll come back Ava: Okay Ava: it isn't that far Ava: and it is hard being around you and not James: so take me to your rooftop garden James: I wanna go Ava: I don't take just anyone there, you know Ava: you're very lucky James: well I'm just happy to be on the list, however long it is James: & intend to show my appreciation accordingly Ava: it'd be ungrateful if you just stayed five minutes Ava: at least ten, okay? James: oh, I don't want that to be your lasting impression of me James: how long into Twilight does your favourite scene occur? Ava: I wouldn't wanna ruin your rep as a perfect gentleman, either Ava: although the best scene is at the end, I'll be pondering one that comes a little sooner Ava: not trying to take liberties here James: you don't want an ending yet, I understand James: me either Ava: exactly Ava: maybe we can get to the scene where Bella gets forced to go shopping with her friends and Edward comes to rescue her Ava: fitting James: another good idea Ava: we'll have to have a picnic instead of going out after though James: that sounds nice Ava: God knows what we have in Ava: could be interesting Ava: I'll feed it to you whilst you recline nonetheless James: thank you James: in that case, I'll barely taste it Ava: you will be very busy writing me poetry, yeah James: writing you as poetry, so nobody can make unfavourable comparisons when you make your acting debut, yes Ava: my drama teacher will be thrilled Ava: not that she'll be there, obviously James: I'd rather she wasn't Ava: 😂 Ava: Promise James: thank you James: she wasn't a member of my fan club Ava: What did you do? Ava: or not do James: I'm not sure I should tell you, it's not as if you need any help coming up with ideas Ava: Well now you have to tell me James: let's just say my time was not well spent, either back stage or on it, in her opinion James: at the time however, I had a great time James: as did my co-stars & most of the crew James: I'm surprised you haven't heard about it Ava: 😏 Ava: It's nothing personal, I'm sure your exploits are legendary Ava: I just don't go in for all that stuff Ava: who's who, who's dad is who, you know James: They were more fabled, as in, in need of a strong moral James: hence the cautionary tale I expected you to be well versed in James: but perhaps she's learned those are rarely effective Ava: After-school specials certainly aren't the height of theatre Ava: even if she's become more willing to branch into 21st century plays and productions Ava: I could ask around, if you like Ava: or you can tell me more in less vague terms when we're alone James: what would you like? James: to know who I was, to know who I am or both? Ava: If we only have time for the one today, I'll go with the latter Ava: but both would be nice Ava: if and when James: okay, I'll see what I can do Ava: I remember you, a bit James: oh Ava: You were friends Ava: for quite a while James: I suppose so James: hypothetically Ava: What do you mean? James: I mean, we weren't, really James: but as far as he was friends with any of us, or any of us were friends with each other, I fall into the category Ava: I suppose so James: should I ask what you remember about me? Ava: Nothing incriminating Ava: you were all the same, in that I was the kid sister who he definitely did not want around so James: I think I remember you ignoring that at least once Ava: Well, can't do what he says, obviously James: you're smarter than that Ava: even as a kid Ava: much to his annoyance 💔 James: he was easy to annoy, that I do recall Ava: Still is James: thank goodness he won't be there either then Ava: on many levels, yes, thank God James: the car has arrived though James: [deets so she doesn't get in the wrong one] Ava: 🙏 all the thanks Ava: coming James: I'm beyond happy to hear it Ava: [show up girl] James: [the 😍 are real af] Ava: [too real] James: [lowkey dragging her into this car but at least she isn't at the school gates in her uniform this time] Ava: [you know what would be evil-er than not letting them get there alone?] James: [tell me gal] Ava: [if one of her friends sees them leaving 'cos nosy hoes but they're too far away/she doesn't know who Ava is somehow so it's just like he was leaving with some bitch thought you should know, 'cos Chlo will be fuming to be so publically shamed] James: [yasss we have to] Ava: [I thought it'd be a good idea 'cos everyone knows her life a mess and her friends' clearly love it so they'd be 👀 him anyway] James: [like I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he fucked some of her friends when they were younger and he was a mess cos I feel like he didn't go to rehab and sort his shit until well after Jay was born] Ava: [we all know this group been messy, even if they're not as bad as her by now, like] James: [oh god she gonna be so raging I love it] James: [enjoy your car makeout while you can you two] James: [maybe she's a newer friend and that's why she doesn't know who Ava is] Ava: [that'd make sense, like either way, we don't need to drop that bombshell right now, but we can do the Chlo telling him to come back convo 'cos she's drunk so it'd be delightful] James: [yeah it'd make sense as well that if she's a newer friend she wouldn't know it's better not to get involved with their cheating and that whole mess, and yeah we simply must do that convo] Ava: [exactly, hence Chlo is probs crying on her rn for the scene of it all] James: [of course, nevermind the fact that you're probably fucking god knows who yourself] Ava: [honestly, what a fun time] James: [okay so he turns the car around and goes back leaving it up to her if she wants to get out and go back to her friends or go home still #awkward] Ava: [imma say she goes home 'cos Chlo probably spilled what's up before he can get back and clearly this friend is too involved and we don't need y'all being outed and them tryna fight you rn] James: [good call, what a downer though, poor Ava at least you can call Grace if you need to talk cos she knows] Ava: [no one needs that level of public shaming lmao] James: [except Chlo but not like this thank you] Ava: [hence even as wasted as she is, they'll be leaving too to have this argument a little more privately, joy of joys] James: [thank god the kids are already with her mum or wherever] Ava: [gonna be sleeping over tonight gals] James: [do you wanna pick this convo up later or like say they don't talk for a bit cos it's awkward lol] Ava: [up to you chicken, 'cos he'd probably have to start in considering how obviously shook/angered etc he would've been in the car so] James: [let;s say he leaves it til way later to the point she probably thinks he isn't gonna but I shall] James: she still doesn't know anything, you don't need to be concerned Ava: She must know something Ava: unless you made her believe her friend was lying, for some reason James: I should have said she doesn't know anything about you, who you are James: that's what I meant Ava: Okay Ava: that's for the best, no doubt Ava: are you okay? James: not really but I don't have anyone else to blame Ava: I'm sorry Ava: I assume there's nothing I can do? James: unfortunately not Ava: Yeah Ava: I shouldn't have said we could James: it isn't your fault James: I should've known better, I typically do, it's just that you aren't typical, at all James: I feel differently & I wanted things to be different so badly that I forgot they can't be Ava: How do you typically do it then? Ava: We could do that James: more carefully James: with less emotion Ava: I can do careful Ava: contrary to what today would suggest Ava: and before, probably James: like I said, it isn't your fault James: you're 17, why should you be careful, why would you want to? Ava: because I knew you were married Ava: and I want to see you James: I'll let you sleep, it's very late James: I just wanted to let you know that your identity is unknown Ava: If you need to say we can't then just say it Ava: because I don't care about either of those things James: whether I need to say it or not, I'm not sure I can & extremely sure I don't want to Ava: You can say anything to me Ava: just don't lie James: if I could see you now, right this second, I would, I haven't learned anything from this James: don't you see how dangerous that is? Ava: I see how dangerous it is Ava: if you want to stay with her Ava: why do you? James: there are two reasons & I have to go collect them both in a few hours Ava: Then I'll let you sleep James: nothing's that simple, Ava James: if only Ava: you don't want me to say anything in response to that Ava: or you wouldn't have brought them up James: you asked me why right after you asked me not to lie to you Ava: Yeah, I'm hardly meant to argue a point against it Ava: if that's how it is then that's how it is James: I don't have a choice, I've never had a choice, that's how it is Ava: Why? James: because I made mistakes that took them all away James: I'm a father now Ava: No, it's not that simple Ava: people separate, with kids as well James: it is that simple, if I want to keep seeing them, I have to be here Ava: You're their dad, that isn't as simple as that Ava: infidelity isn't a valid reason to not allow access James: if I were dealing with a rational person, perhaps Ava: You don't want to go through the courts Ava: so you're just going to stay with her and be unhappy forever James: I've got my reasons Ava: you said James: you don't understand & with respect I don't want you to have to James: my life is messy & complicated, we can't make it simple by wishing that it were Ava: Likewise, you don't have to tell me anything Ava: that's fine James: there's things that she & I have both done that mean I have to stay Ava: Why would she want you to Ava: if you cheat on her and clearly don't love her, and want to leave Ava: that doesn't make any sense James: appearances, finances, an inability to face the ordeal of starting her life over James: I don't know James: maybe she would like me to remain locked in misery with her forever Ava: Jesus James: I've not loved her for a single day, perhaps it's spite for never having done so James: or not about me at all Ava: does she love you? James: no Ava: that's horrible, James James: yes, it is Ava: how sustainable is it Ava: how long can you both live like this James: I try not to think about it, in case the answer for her is indefinitely James: but I'm sorry I dragged you into it, Ava Ava: You haven't Ava: don't apologize James: I didn't mean for this to happen Ava: I know you didn't Ava: but James: but I know, you're not sorry James: not yet anyway Ava: No, I am Ava: but I'm glad too James: I'd rather you were the latter but I can hardly expect it Ava: I am Ava: I can make you happy, even for five minutes Ava: I'll take it James: you do Ava: Good Ava: let me James: I'm trying to Ava: Just don't push me away Ava: if we have to be careful and not see each other for time because of the things in your life you can't control, that's fine Ava: just don't be the one to do it when you don't need to, okay James: it's really difficult not to when so often it feels like doing so would be better for you than anything I can actually offer & every instinct tells me that if I don't hurt you, she will Ava: Don't bother trying to tell me what would be better for me Ava: I want what you can offer, I don't care James: Ava Ava: You can think I'm stupid and 17 if you want but it won't change how I feel James: you're not stupid, that isn't what I think Ava: I care about you, James Ava: more than I care about the possibility of being hurt James: I care about you, more than I was ready for, but I'm trying James: I meant it, I do want to try & I don't want to hurt you Ava: I meant it when I said sorry Ava: I'm not trying to be more stress in your life Ava: just good Ava: but I know it's a lot, not that I planned it any more than you did James: I can handle stress, it's having something good which I'm not used to anymore Ava: Baby Ava: how can I make you feel better, like right in this moment James: if we can't see each other then I'd like to at least be able to hear your voice Ava: Okay, hold on Ava: let me get set up outside James: get a blanket, it was really warm earlier, you'll need it Ava: I've got a big sofa out here, I'll be cosy James: I don't mind if you fall asleep Ava: I don't want to, I want to talk to you 'til YOU fall asleep James: we can fall asleep together, the way we would if any of this was normal Ava: I want that Ava: too good of an idea, meant to be my thing James: it's about time I had one, don't you think? Ava: I'll allow it Ava: as I like it that much James: thank you Ava: Oh, James James: yes? Ava: just wanted to say it Ava: I'm ready now James: okay Ava: how quiet do I need to be? James: you don't Ava: noted Ava: [the call] James: [oh sweet babies, never gonna let Chlo ruin it, not soz] Ava: [deal with it, your reign of terror coming to an end hun] James: [the idea of them falling asleep together on the phone has made me die because it's so soft, goodbye cruel world] Ava: [not to make it weird or anything guys but Buster and Rio used to do that all the time so love that for you too] James: [literally had that thought] Ava: [when you're lowkey forced ldr by circumstances] James: [mhmm how annoying that'd be, like you're living so close to each other but you can't just see each other whenever you want] Ava: [literally the most frustrating] James: [at least if you're miles away or whatever you know you can't] Ava: [tea, 'cos like you could in many ways but you also can't] James: [^^^ that] Ava: [oh the willpower you'll need] James: [hence they don't last long before outting themselves because it's too hard] Ava: [^^yup and fuck you Chlo James: [you've stolen enough of his life] Ava: [time to do that convo moment though]

[celiaelise]

Seriously, like... this week especially I'm realizing just how much money I Do Not Have. I'm pursuing other jobs but idk :/

like rn I'm planning to go out of town tomorrow, and I pretty much only have enough money for gas in my checking account. I have some in my savings, but I'm supposed to be like. saving that. And I know this is just how being an adult is, but there's so many little things, like I want to get a p.o. box, and I bought a new microusb cord last week which I already seem to have broken, and I keep buying sweets because I'm pretty sure I've developed a sugar dependency in response to my depressive anxiety.

I was thinking about all this on my way home from work tonight, like, "man, I really need to just. make some money." and my brain was like, "realistic oil portraits of Spock. People love Spock, and you're a good painter." So that's an idea lol. I'm not exactly a Star Trek fan, I haven't seen that much of it, but I still support it lol. Or maybe movie, cartoon, or video game characters... But yeah maybe I just need to put my "capitalist" hat on and be like, "what can I make that I know will sell?" (Maybe I need to become a sellout is what I am saying here...but in a more neutral tone.) My annoying but enterprising comics-making coworker was literally networking and promoting his comic to a customer today at the store. It's not even the first (or second) time he's done that. Where can I get that kind of motivation and assuredness??

Also I thought we were just about ready to apply for an apartment, we had it picked out and everything, but yesterday the person I'm planning on renting with texted me saying that we can't rent from there now because her man got a new job. (The complex is income restricted) Which, like, why would they tell them that?? Idk is it a crime to pretend you didn't get that job till after you move in...? (that's a real question, is it a crime?) and now, if I understand correctly, she's saying they want to look at renting a house? Which I'm not sure I'm on board with tbh, it seems much easier to have an apartment.

Anyway I guess I'm just whining but that's what's been on my mind lately... I'm not actually in trouble or anything, my parents support me, and I'm grateful for that, but it's frustrating that I can't be as independent as I want.

I feel like it’s definitely a Poor Financial Decision for me to try and move out rn, but I also feel like it’s just something I have to do. Like I won’t be able to move forward until I do it!