#and I really should be reading book 2 if I’m gonna finish the series by next week

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 20 pt. 2- I Do

Summary: It's wedding time, baby.

Word Count: 17.4K (.....I'm so sorry)

Warnings: SMUT (18+) unprotected p in v sex, vaginal fingering, praise kink, marriage kink, big, fat, nasty, unspeakable breeding kink (holy SHIT you guys, I really went balls to the wall on this one, I fear), kind of semi-public sex (you already know these horndogs are going at it again), More getting caught (Steve is causing his own problems at this point), wedding things!!, family dynamics, mentions of death/grief, lots of emotions, alcohol/drinking, so many feelings (grab the tissues, friends), Javi being adorable with kids, Javi being so in LOVE it HURTS?!? So much joy and happiness because Javi deserves the world and more

A/N: HELLO. Part 2 is finally finished *insert Spongebob narrator voice* 4 years later 🫠 Omg y'all, thank you SO much for bearing with me as I finish this, it has been a labor of love like no other, but I am so excited to finally share our favorite couple's special day and finally GET THESE TWO MARRIED 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I would very much be lying if I said I didn't cry multiple times writing this chapter 🥺 I can't believe these two are actually getting married- words can't express how thankful I am for everyone who's wanted to stick around and read my silly little story to see these two make it to their wedding day- your support and kind words mean more to me than you will ever know 💛 Poorly beta'd bc I'm the worst, also, I've seen that sometimes people have issues reblogging things with comments that are this long (my apologies), but comments and reblogs make me wanna cry and throw up with joy, so it means a lot to me if you're able to leave a comment if it won't let you reblog with one!!!

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Never had you been so anxious to walk in a straight line. 

Because truth be told, that was all you needed to do to walk down the aisle- walk in a straight line. 

But when that straight line meant the walk to finally get to marry your future husband, to take his last name, to start the beginning of your forever together, not to mention kissing him in front of all your closest family and friends, you couldn’t help but feel the butterflies in your stomach swirling in anticipation as you waited for your ceremony to start. 

“You okay, Hermosa?” Javi asked, his thumb gently stroking your hand that he had been holding since the moment he saw you, almost as if he was refusing to let go. You looked up at him, big brown puppy dog eyes staring down at you with a goofy grin that hadn’t left his face, the sight of his handsome, broad frame easing your racing heart enough to help you remember that when you walked down that aisle in a few short minutes, he was the only thing that mattered. 

“I’m perfect.” You smiled, pressing up on your toes just enough to peck his lips quickly before someone in the wedding party needed to barrate you both again about saving your kissing until after you were finally married. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this many people staring all at me at once. Knowing my luck, I’m gonna trip and fall over this dress before I can even make it to you. Or better yet, with my dumbass decision to have David and Charlie walk me down the aisle, I’ll be lucky if they don’t push me to the ground first.” 

“Well, even if you did fall, you would still be the most beautiful woman on the face of this Earth. My clumsy, grass-stained wife.” Javi snickered, giving you a little nudge as you rolled your eyes, giving him a playful shove back. 

“Pendejo. You have both of our vows books, right? You promise you haven’t peeked?” 

“Yup, both right here in my pocket.” Javi smiled, patting his tux by his chest. “Promise I haven’t read it. Although for my sake I probably should have, because if I can’t even make it through seeing you in your dress, then these vows are gonna make me a fuckin’ goner.” 

“Bold of you to assume I had nice things to say about you in there.” You teased, raising your eyebrow as you smirked at him, making Javi shake his head as he laughed. 

“Alright everyone, it’s 3:00, it’s time to get this show on the road! Make sure you’re in order like we practiced, that you take your time walking down to the music, girls, please do not throw petals at each other, and make sure you all- Javi, where are you? You’re supposed to be at the front of this line, sir.” Connie sassed, proving to you that she really was the perfect person for the task of making sure that things ran smoothly today, bossing the group around like the captain of a well organized ship. 

“Sorry, I’m coming,” Javi replied sheepishly. “I love you, Osita.” Sliding the hand that was entangled with yours around your waist, Javi pulled you in for a kiss, much more obviously than he probably should have, considering the shit the two of you were about to get being literal minutes away from getting married. 

“Javier! Get you A-S-S up here! Kiss her all you want once you say I do!” Connie shouted, rolling her eyes at the two of you, Javi pulling away in defense with his hands raised, trying to prove his innocence. 

“Oh, I know what that one spells, Mrs. Murphy! That one spells-” 

“Javi? Please?” Connie asked again, quickly trying her best to cut off your niece, Olivia, before she could finish the rest of her thought in front of everyone else, making the group giggle at her matter of factness. 

“Okay, okay, I’m here!” Javi pleaded, making his way to the front of the procession, taking his place next to his dad as Connie did one more check through of everyone’s spot in line before giving the music an all clear to start playing. 

As you stood at the end of the line, you peeked up to see Javi turned around staring back at you with that same stupid smile on his face, completely enamored and awestruck by you, already convincing you that you were going to turn into a puddle before you could even make it down the aisle. 

But as you went to re-adjust your bouquet in your grasp, you quickly realized there were not one, but two things missing from your procession line, now about to start walking down the aisle. 

Your brothers. 

Despite having seen them only seconds ago, as you quickly whipped your head around, they were now nowhere to be found. 

“Charlie? David? Where the fuck did you go?” You whisper shouted, frantically looking around for any sight of them.

Suddenly, you heard a rustling from one of the bushes around the corner from where you had been lined up and waiting, followed by the all too familiar voices of your brothers up to no good. 

“Just finish it you dingus, I already drank the first half!” 

“Why the fuck did we leave this out here? It’s fucking warm. You got the better half, that’s not fair!” 

“It was warm when I drank it too, dumbwad. Just finish it, we gotta fucking go, hurry up!” 

As you peered behind the bush, you saw your brothers wiping their mouth with the back of their hands as the tossed a can of Miller Lite to the ground, freezing in fear as they saw your menacing and disappointed glare staring back at them. 

“What the fuck do you two think you’re doing?!” 

“It was David’s idea!” Charlie responded, pointing at his brother. 

“Charlie didn’t say no!” David responded back, now pointing at him. “You didn’t expect us to get through this sober, did you? You’re the one who asked us to marry you, so I don’t know what to tell ya, Cubby. Plus, we wanted to pour one out for Patrick since he’s the luckiest bastard out of all of us and doesn’t have to worry about fucking up marrying his little sister.” 

“God, you two are idiots. Well that thing you agreed to do is happening as we speak so can we go do that, please?” You sighed, trying your best not to laugh at your brother’s antics, knowing that you really should have expected nothing less from the pair after you and Javi had asked them to officiate your wedding, considering neither of you had wanted anything religious, and wanted someone who knew you to be the ones to do it. 

“Okay, okay!” They replied, one rushing to each side of you and hooking their arm around yours as you made your way back to your spot at the end of the processional line that had now begun to move forward. 

“Where were you 3 dumbbells? The ceremony is starting!” Your dad gruffed, trying his best to restrain from slapping each of you upside the head. 

“Cubby wanted a beer.” David replied, shrugging his shoulders, keeping his head facing forward, trying his best not to laugh. 

“Honey, seriously?!” Your mom scolded, looking at you with disgust. 

“I did not! I was trying to find these two idiots!” You groaned, eying your brothers as they shook you back and forth between them in their grasp. “I hate you both, I hope you know that.” 

“We love you too, Cubby.” Charlie smirked, knowing that for as much as you said it, there wasn’t a bone in your body that could hate your brothers. For as dumb and annoying as they were, there would never be another moment you would take for granted with them, knowing all too well that life was much too short to do anything but cherish your time together, wishing you had more time to spend with the brother who couldn’t be here with you today. 

Before you could respond, your thought was interrupted by the voice of the DJ through the speakers set up outside, your heart steadily beginning to pound at the reality that everything you had been waiting for was all about to become real. 

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen if you could please find your seats, we’re about to get started with our ceremony! Thank you so much, folks!” As his voice echoed through the speakers, a hush began to fall over the crowd of your friends and family that had gathered here, now anxiously alongside you for the ceremony to begin. 

A few seconds passed before you could hear the music beginning to play, the familiar melody of “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac ringing through the speakers- an easily unanimous pick for a song to walk down the aisle to for you and Javi, remembering the first night you had spent together in your apartment, making midnight mac n’ cheese and already falling head over heels in love with each other. 

As the beat began to pick up, your heart started to race, peaking over the backs of everyone’s heads to watch all 5 of your flower girls begin to skip down the aisle, throwing petals every which way around them as they moved.

You couldn’t help but laugh as all their little personalities shone through as they made their way to the altar- Olivia Murphy, being the oldest, most definitely was taking her role the most seriously, holding her baby sister in one hand and carefully sprinkling flowers evenly in front of her. Your niece, Olivia, was second in line to live up to her role, although, being the little ham she was, threw in the occasional twirl in the middle of the aisle to get people to look at her, along with her little waves to the crowd. The rest of the girls, Brianna, Abby and Madison, well, you were just happy that they made it down the aisle, thankful that their older sisters were at least on the lookout enough to keep them from running through the rows of your guests or dumping the entire bucket of flowers on themselves (you had learned your lesson from your rehearsal dinner that Brianna needed about half as less flowers as the others).

Your face lit up watching the girls, your heart filling with joy with the “awhs” and laughter from the crowd at their theatrics as they met at the altar with an impressively semi-rehearsed curtsy, followed by promptly running out of the spotlight and over to Connie who was waiting for them. 

Now that the flower girls had finished making their way down, the processional line began to shift forward once again, this time, leaving Javi and his dad to walk down together, Javi insisting that even though his mom would have been the one to walk him down if she was here, that wanted Chucho to be there in her place instead. 

“Ready, Mijo?” Chucho grinned, giving Javi a little nudge. “Am I going to have to keep you from sprinting down the aisle, or do you think you can manage walking?” 

As the pair began walking down to the melodic beat of the song, Javi couldn’t help but laugh at his dad’s comment, because as much as he wanted to tease him right back, he knew damn well he was so excited that he would have run to the altar if it meant he got to marry you even a minute quicker. 

“Javier?” Chucho asked, looking up at his son with tears in his eyes as the pair moved down the parted pathway between the crowd of guests. 

“Yeah, Pops?” 

“Estoy orgulloso de ti, mijo. Tu mama y yo. (I am so proud of you, son. Me and your mother.) We are so happy that you have found your media naranja (other half). Nosotros te amamos. (We love you so much.)” 

As Javi and Chucho reached the end of the aisle, Javi wrapped his arms around his dad, pulling him close as Chucho patted him on the back, pulling away to look at his son, tears now in both of their eyes, thinking about how far they had come to end up where they were in this very moment, thanking whatever greater power that had finally brought them and Lucia the peace they all desperately deserved. 

Javier Pena knew he was worthy of the love and happiness that his parents had longed for. He had finally proved to himself and his parents he really was the good man that he had hoped to be. 

“I love you, Pops. Thank you for everything.” Javi whispered to his dad, trying to fight back any more tears from falling down his cheeks. 

“Te amo mucho, Javier. (I love you so much, Javier). Thank you for finally realizing that who you are is enough. Now, stop crying over your old man and save some tears for your wife.” Chucho laughed quietly, giving his son another pat on the back with a soft smile wrinkling his cheeks. 

“Yeah, I don’t think you’re gonna have to worry about that.” Javi chuckled, shaking his head at the tearful mess he already was, giving his father one last hug before Chucho took his seat next to Connie and the flower girls at the front of the crowd. 

Steve was the next to make his way to the altar, Javi laughing at his friend’s goofy strut to greet him at the end of the aisle. Steve held out his hand to shake Javi’s before quickly pulling Javi in for another hug with pats to the back much harder than his fathers. 

“Listen, man. I ain’t good at this sentimental shit, but uh- I’m really fuckin’ happy for you, Javi. I know I give you shit, but you’re one of the good ones. She’s a lucky girl. And I hope you know you’re sure as hell one lucky son of a bitch. Love you, man.” 

“Love you too, Murph. Believe me, I know.” Javi grinned, giving Steve a slap on his shoulder laughing to himself as his friend sat down next to his wife and the girls, never imagining himself standing at the altar, happily waiting to get married while his former partner cheered him on, surrounded by his gaggle of giggly daughters. 

Feeling worlds away from Javi, your heart began to beat faster and faster, realizing that you were now only one pair away from making your trek down the aisle as your mom and dad walked down next, arm in arm. 

In classic mom fashion, your mother squeezed Javi so hard as she greeted him, that you were convinced that she was going to pop an eyeball out one of his sockets, thankful that your dad was there to reel her in enough to keep from suffocating him in her hug. 

“Javi. We love you so much. Thank you for making our daughter so happy. We’re so grateful she found you.” 

“Thank you. I love you both, too. Believe me, I’m just as grateful that she found me. Thanks for making me feel like a part of your family.” Javi replied to your mom, catching his breath through his smile after the death grip your mom had wrapped him in before looking over at your dad, extending his hand to meet his already outstretched one. 

“Jav, you’re a good man. I’m a guy of few words, but we couldn’t be happier for you both. Take care of her, okay?” 

“I will. I promise.” 

With a silent handshake and a nod, Javi and your dad had said all they’d needed to know that they couldn’t be more thankful for the love and support the other had brought you in the times that you had needed it most. 

As your parents made their way to their seats, standing at the opposite end of the aisle with your brothers at your side, the realization really hit you- You were the last one that needed to meet Javi. 

“You ready, Cubby?” Charlie asked, giving you a grin as he smiled down at you, interlocking your arm with his as David did the same on the other side. 

“Yeah, I’m ready. Hey, uh- I just, I just wanted to say, I-I love you guys.” 

“Gross.” David teased, scrunching his face in disgust, pretending to barf over his shoulder as you and Charlie laughed, shaking your head at your brother. “We love you too, dude.” 

With one final giggle and deep breath, you took your first step into view where everyone could see you, watching the guests rise to their feet in anticipation of your arrival, awestruck stares and smiles filling the crowd as you began to walk. 

Even though you had seen each other minutes ago, as you started to make your way down the aisle, smiling at Javi, the two of you couldn’t help but break into tears once again, laughing through your sobs that Javi broke before you did, trying to wipe his wet cheeks with the back of his hand while he watched you walk towards him. 

And even though every pair of eyes were on you, the only eyes you needed to see were Javi’s- The sweet, soft brown eyes that you had fallen so deeply in love with from the moment you had locked eyes with them all that time ago. They were the eyes of the first person who had ever truly seen you for who you were, inside and out, and you couldn’t be more thankful that when you looked at him, you saw your forever. When you looked at Javier Pena, you knew you were home. 

It almost felt as if time was standing still, that even in a crowd full of people, no one else existed besides the two of you. No one else mattered, and nothing else mattered- the only thing that mattered for you was Javi waiting for you at the end of the aisle, and you? You were going to finally be his wife. 

“You two are so in love, it’s fucking sick.” David whispered in your ear, helping to ease your tears as you burst into more laughter, rolling your eyes at your brother. 

“Oh shut up, asshole.” 

As you, David and Charlie finally made your way to Javi, waiting for you in a mess of happy smiles and loving tears, you had to use everything in you to keep from jumping onto him like a koala and kiss him all over his stupidly handsome face, resorting to reaching out to grab his hand instead, interlocking it with yours and giving it the tightest squeeze you could. 

“Hey, Mr. Peña. Long time, no see.” You whispered into Javi’s ear, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before took his other hand in yours, the two of you facing each other in front of your friends and family as David and Charlie took their place behind you, pulling out their notes that they had prepared, clearing their throats as they began to address the crowd. 

“Alright everyone, I uh- I guess we’re gettin’ this show on the road.” Speaking out into the crowd, Charlie began to flip to the right page of his script that you were relieved to see he had written out, your guests beginning to silence and bringing their attention to you and Javi. 

“Hi everyone, for those of you who don’t know us, we are the bride’s brothers, and we have the honor of our sister and our new brother-in-law being stupid enough to let us be in charge of marrying them today. Not to worry, 20 dollars and one course on the internet later, David and I are both legally ordained, so not to fear you two, this will all be legit, and hopefully not too embarrassing.” Charlie laughed, also eliciting giggles and eye rolls from you and Javi, as well as the crowd. 

“Well, we are gathered here today, because these two idiots have fallen so head over heels for each other, it's almost sickening. We’ve had the privilege of knowing our sister for the entirety of our lives. When we found out as kids that our mom was having another baby, and that it was going to be a girl, my brothers and I were disappointed, to say the least. We didn’t want a sister to ruin the bond that we had, and honestly, for a long time while my mom was pregnant, we went through a long baby boycott, and were convinced if we protested long enough, and hard enough, she would eventually turn into a boy, and everything would be fine.” David grimaced, shrugging his shoulders at you as you nodded in agreement, having heard this story from your brothers and parents plenty of times before. 

“And while at first, we weren’t really sure what to do with a sister, considering we didn’t even realize it was an option to pee sitting down until she came around,” Charlie snickered, making the crowd laugh again, aside from your mom, who was rolling her eyes so hard, they probably had made it to the back of her head, “Our sister ended up being one of the best things that could have ever happened to us.” 

Breaking your eye contact with Javi, you paused to look over at your brother, a genuine smile on his face, raising his eyebrows and shrugging as if to say I’m just as surprised that I’m saying this out loud as you. 

“Growing up with our sister has taught us a lot of things- Don’t challenge her to anything you don’t wanna lose at, because she’ll find a way to beat you, and thoroughly kick your ass while she does it, she’s got more brain cells that myself, Charlie, and our late brother Patrick did put together, she’s tougher than most guys I know, and she’s one of the biggest hearted people I’ve ever met.” Looking back at Javi, you could see his face beaming with joy, giving your hand a squeeze, agreeing with everything your brothers had to say, and how all of those traits had made him fall so madly in love with you. 

“So, like brothers do, we never assumed that there would never be anyone good enough, let alone even cool enough for our badass sister. And also like brothers do, we let her go through her fair share of duds and gave her shit, but when this guy came around,” Charlie smiled, pointing at Javi, “we knew that he was something special.” 

“Javi,” David joined in pointing, giving him a playful smirk, “Don’t think you were getting out of this so easy. When we first heard that our sister had made her way down to the middle of nowhere Texas and had started seeing you, our first reaction was instant disapproval, because if you lived in south Texas, you probably knew jackshit about hockey, and that was a no go for us.” 

“But,” Charlie interjected, “After talking to our sister more on the phone, not only was she starting to turn into the happy, energetic self we hadn’t seen in so long, we also learned after talking to her that you not only had been willing to watch hockey with her, but had began to openly express your disdain for the Detroit Red Wings, which made us change our opinions on you very quickly.” 

You and Javi looked at your brothers, rolling your eyes in laughter as they shrugged at you, the roar of cackles from the crowd making you grin, feeling the love from your brothers, friends and family swell in your chest, holding Javi’s hands even tighter, gazing up at him with an awestruck smile. 

“No in all seriousness, Jav. We couldn’t be happier that you not only have become a part of our sister’s life, but our family’s life, too. For those of you who don’t know, we um- we, uh-,” David gulped, taking a deep breath, trying to hold back the tears welling in his eyes, “our other brother, Patrick, um, passed away last year, and it uh, it was really hard on all of us, especially our sister. Javi, man, I don’t think you’ll ever understand how thankful we are that you love our sister so unconditionally. Better yet, that you love our family of idiots so unconditionally, because truth be told, we are not an easy bunch to love. While obviously, you can’t ever replace Patrick, I just, I hope you know that we’re so glad to have you as a brother, and that Patrick really would have loved you, man. He would be so happy that you’re the one our sister gets to spend the rest of her life with.” 

For what felt like the 117th time today, you found yourself in absolute tears, feeling the wetness streaming down your cheeks as you looked down at the #2 patch sewn on the bottom corner of your veil in a beautiful mixture of sadness and joy before looking up to see not a dry eye in front of you, both your brothers and Javi misty eyed and sniffling. Breaking his grasp from yours, Javi stepped towards your brothers, wrapping his arms around both of them to pull them into a long, tight hug, Charlie and David reciprocating as their arms patted his back. 

“Thank you guys.” Javi whispered, choking back his tears as he pulled away to look at your brothers, all of you wiping your wet faces with your hands to try and compose yourselves to carry on with the ceremony. 

“Damn, okay, well, sorry about that, folks, was not expecting that.” Charlie and David laughed, trying to shake off their unusually sappy sentiment, looking out at the crowd to see not a dry eye in the house. “Well um, well that’s enough of us yapping at you guys, why don’t we turn it over to the people you’re actually here for, and then you can cry even more because these two idiots decided to write their own vows, so good luck.” 

Staring up at Javi, you could feel your heart begin to race wildly, your hands nearly trembling as you reached out towards Javi to take the little notebook where you had written down your vows, feeling a little more at ease as you saw that Javi’s hands were just as shaky as yours, the two of you overflowing with anxious anticipation. 

It had been no question to either of you that you had wanted to write your own vows to one another. While it seemed to be that everyone else you knew had seemed to avoid writing their own vows because they weren’t sure what to say, or that it was too hard to think of things, you and Javi seemed to find yourselves having the opposite problem, feeling like there was too much to fit in a few short minutes, and that your vows were going to end up being the length of a college lecture. 

There had been a part of you that had worried you would be nervous to read what you had to say to Javi in front of all your friends and family, but as you stood there, smiling up at his beautiful, handsome face, you couldn’t be more excited to share all of the things you had written to tell your husband just how much you loved him.  

But as the two of you stood face to face, your vows in each of your hands, your stomach dropped in shock, realizing that neither of you was making the first move to start talking. Because for all the planning and preparing that you had done for everything else, the both of you had completely forgotten to pick who was going to read their vows first. 

“We never picked who was gonna go first.” You whispered to Javi, your voice filling with nerves every second you stood in front of your guests, neither one of you saying anything. 

“Oh fuck, you’re right. What do you wanna do? Do you wanna go? Do you want me to go?” Javi asked, his face mirroring yours in surprise, now frantically looking back and forth between you, his vows, and all of your guests. 

You weren’t sure if it was the teacher in you, or the fact that you were so flustered that you couldn’t think of anything else, but before you knew it, you were tucking your vows under your arm, holding one hand out in front of you flat and the other in a fist, signifying to Javi that your best solution to your current predicament was playing rock, paper, scissors. 

“Best 2 out of 3?” You shrugged, grimacing at Javi as you tried not to burst into laughter, Javi shaking his head and snickering, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“You’re ridiculous, I hope you know that. Do you wanna go after ‘rock’ or say ‘shoot’, then go?” Javi asked, loud enough for your guests to catch on to what was happening, giggles and laughter coming from the crowd. 

“What kind of psychopath doesn’t say ‘shoot’ first? Javier Peña, are you telling me that we need to call off this wedding right now because you don’t say ‘shoot’ before playing rock, paper, scissors? Because I will.” 

Everyone around you was now in full blown hysterics, including Javi, giving you the sassiest look he could muster through his laughter, holding his hands out to mirror yours. 

“So ‘for better or for worse’ doesn’t apply to rock, paper, scissors, apparently?” He teased, smirking at you with a subtle wink as he bit down on his lip. 

“Not if you’re gonna play like that it won’t.”  

“Pendejo.” 

“You love me.” 

“I really fucking do.” 

Giggling as you gestured at your outstretched fist, you began to countdown from your “rock, paper, scissors, adding an extra emphasis on ‘shoot’ as you held out rock and Javi held out scissors. With another laugh, the two of you started again, this time, you with paper and Javi with rock, smirking as you crossed your arms over your chest at Javi, the rest of your guests laughing right along with you. 

“Winner, winner, chicken dinner, Javier Peña. You’re stuck going second.” 

“Go for it, you dork.” 

As the laughter from the crowd settled, you opened your vows book, taking a deep breath as you stared up at Javi, who, despite your silliness, still had tears beginning to well in his puppy dog brown eyes before you could even say your first word. You took one last gulp of confidence, wondering how in the world you were supposed to make it through even a sentence through your speech without falling apart. 

“I never used to believe in fate. People would always tell me that ‘some things are just meant to be!’ or ‘it was just fate it happened like that!’ and no matter how hard I tried to believe, fate just never made sense to me. Well, that was until about a year ago, when fate decided to bump right into me when I least expected it.” You could feel your voice already beginning to shake, huffing in a quick sniffle before continuing on. 

“As fate may have it, I quite literally bumped into you when you were forced to come give a presentation to a group of rowdy 8 and 9 year olds. Thank god fate also was on my side that day- that I actually looked halfway presentable and wasn’t covered in spilled chocolate milk, glue, or the snot of whatever kid had sneezed a little too close to me that morning.” That one had the better part of the crowd letting out a laugh alongside Javi, easing your stress and tension about your speech while you carried on, reading the notes jotted in your booklet. 

“When I first came to Laredo, I wasn’t really quite sure what I was looking for. After my brother died and decided I needed to be as far away from Chicago as possible, there wasn’t ever really a doubt in my mind that here was the only place I really wanted to be. I spent the better half of my middle school and high school vacations here, visiting my best friend who had moved away. To me, Laredo was always a place that brought me such peace and comfort. I’m not really sure why, but there was always something about being here for those few weeks every year that made it feel like home, even when home was halfway across the country. But what I didn’t realize, was that in my attempt to find a new home for myself, I began to learn that home wasn’t a physical location, or a place you could travel to. After meeting you, Javier Peña, I found out that home was wherever I was with you.” 

Taking a shaky breath, you looked up from your vows to see sweet Javi, covering his mouth, as if he was trying to trap his tears to keep from completely breaking down at your words, his reaction only making you cry harder, trying your best to re-compose yourself before speaking again. 

“I spent so long wondering if I would ever find someone who would ever make me feel the way that you do- to love me for all of my flaws, to make me feel important, and even laugh at all of my stupid jokes that probably don’t deserve to be laughed at, but you love me enough to do it anyways. Now that’s true love.” You smirked, raising your eyebrow at Javi, making the two of you snicker between your tears. “You make me feel like the only person in the world whenever I’m with you. The only person who knows me better than I know myself. You are truly one of the most thoughtful and caring people that I have ever met. And while I could list off a million adjectives to describe all of the reasons I fell in love with you- smart, brave, determined, handsome- just to name a few, out of all of those reasons, the one that made me fall for you the most was your big heart. And while I know you’ll never believe me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to get you to see the same amazing man I fall more and more in love with every single day.”

At this point, there was not a dry eye in the crowd, watching how emotional you and Javi were as you tried to choke your way through the rest of your vows. 

“I will never know what I did to deserve you in my life, but promise that I will spend the rest of it letting you know how forever thankful I will always be that out of all the people in the world you could have chosen to bump into, that it was me. I am so excited that the rest of my life, all of the moments, big, small, and everything in between, will all be moments spent with you. That every moment will be spent with my best friend. I never would have thought that a little bit of fate would have become my forever, but I’ll always be so grateful that it is. I love you so much, Javier Peña. Thanks for being the reason I finally believe in fate.” 

Wiping away the wetness streaming down your cheeks, you could barely even look at Javi, who was an absolute blubbering mess, laughing through your tears almost to keep you from completely melting into a puddle. 

Reaching out to grab him, you took Javi’s hand in yours, squeezing it reassuringly as you took your other hand up to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks, the both of you smiling as you looked into each other's eyes.

“And that’s why I wanted to go first. Good luck.” You chuckled, making Javi shake his head as he laughed along with you, taking another deep breath before flipping open his own vows, wondering how in the world he was ever going to make it through speaking, considering how easily he had fallen apart just listening to you. 

“Jesus Christ, well I don’t know how I’m really supposed to follow that.” Javi sighed, the crowd giggling at his remark as he opened up to his first page, staring at his words for a moment before looking back up at you, his deep, chocolate, puppy dog eyes melting you just as quickly as the first time that you locked eyes with him. 

“I’ve uh- I’ve never really been great speeches. When I sat down to write this, I wasn’t really sure where to start. I had no idea how I was supposed to fit all of the things that I wanted to say into all of this.” Javi huffed with a little shrug, gesturing to his notebook. 

“So I um- I figured if there’s anywhere I should start, it should probably be at the beginning. My mom was an elementary school teacher, so growing up, I spent a lot of time at Alma Pierce Elementary School. I swear, I knew that place like the back of my hand. But um, after my mom got sick and passed away, I really never thought I’d ever have a reason to back. Until one day last year, I was told to pack up my stuff to go give a presentation at a local elementary school, which turned out to be none other than Alma Pierce. My mom always used to say “La vida es graciosa, no lo crees?” (Life is funny, isn’t it?), and I never quite understood why. But as I walked back into the place where I had spent so much of my life just out of chance, I swear I could hear her laughing at me, saying “Te lo dije.” (I told you so).” 

You could hear everyone who had had the privilege of knowing Lucia letting out a soft laugh, thinking of all of the times they must have heard her say that all too familiar phrase throughout their time knowing her. 

“I had gotten to a point in my life that I had kind of just accepted that maybe this kind of life wasn’t in the cards for me. I wasn’t gonna get married or have a family, and as much as it hurt, I had learned to be okay with it. The last thing I would have thought would have happened to me after leaving the presentation I had to give that day was that I was already head over heels in love with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life, but la vida es graciosa, no le crees?” 

Giving you a little smirk, Javi could help but let a smile slowly spread between his cheeks as he looked at you, gazing up at him in complete and utter adoration, your goofy grin mirroring his. 

“Never in a million years would I have thought that I would have been standing here today, getting married to you. If you would have told me that I got to marry the most beautiful, amazing, kind, and stubbornly independent woman on the face of this earth, I would have laughed in your face. I honestly still feel like I need to pinch myself to prove that this is even real. But I guess that even if this is all a dream, I don’t ever want to wake up. Being loved by you has changed me in a way that I will never be able to thank you enough for. Being loved by you has made me a better man than I ever believed that I could be. A better man than I ever thought I deserved to be. A man who has learned to love and believe in love in ways I didn’t think I was capable of. I will never be able to thank you enough for letting me into your life and loving me for who I am, and for wanting to spend the rest of it with me.” 

Now, it was your turn to morph into an inconsolable mess, reaching out to grab Javi’s hand again, silently reassuring him that you were equally as grateful for the fact that Javi had let you into his life, too. 

“And no matter how tough, or challenging, or funny life gets, I know it can never really be that bad, because I’ll always have you by my side through it all. I think my mamá would be so proud to know I finally understand what she was trying to say all those years about life being so funny. Because it seems like life has a funny way of giving you everything you’ve ever wanted. Te amo, Osita. Gracias por ser mi todo. (I love you, Osita. Thank you for being my everything).” 

Without even thinking, you threw your arms around Javi’s shoulders wrapping him in a long, tight hug, sobbing into his jacket in a fit of happy tears, Javi hugging you right back, squeezing around your waist, gently cradling the back of your head in the warmth of your embrace. 

“Well shit… Alright, well I’m not sure if you guys are allowed to do that, but after those vows, I think we can let it slide.” David joked, trying to quickly wipe his eyes, nudging Charlie to do the same to try and pull themselves together to make sure they could finish out the rest of the ceremony. 

“Fuck, sorry.” Javi whispered, reluctantly pulling away from you, everyone in the crowd following your brothers’ suite, smiling as they brushed away the wetness welling in their own eyes from listening to your vows. 

“Well, I’d ask if anyone needs to object before we continue, but I think it’s pretty darn clear that these two idiots love each other more than life itself, so I’m just gonna skip that part.” Charlie joked, making you and Javi smirk in agreement. “Alright Miss Olivia, it’s your time to shine, do you have the rings?” He asked, your niece’s face lighting up in excitement as she nodded her head frantically, shooting up out of her seat to dash towards the two of you, carefully holding the ring box like a newborn baby bird in her hands. 

Daintily, she passed the box off to her dad before scampering over to both you and Javi, wrapping her arms around your waists to pull you close in a hug, smiling up at each of you with her toothy, goofy grin. 

“I love you Auntie Bear and Uncle Javi.” Olivia beamed, giggling in pure bliss and joy before skipping back to her seat among the guests, the both of your hearts bursting at the seams with the chores of “awhhhhs” coming from the crowd for your adorable niece. 

“Someone’s trying to get an extra slice of cake tonight huh, Miss Olivia?” David teased, your guests erupting with laughter at her not so innocent shrug to her Uncle’s question, knowing damn well she was just as much of a ham as you. “I trusted the six year old to carry these, can I trust you two not to drop them, or do you need to cry some more first?” 

“Oh shut up, David.” You sighed, rolling your eyes at your brother as you and Javi each took the rings to give one another, carefully holding the shiny gold bands in your hands, counting down the moments until you finally got to say “I do”. 

“Alright, ladies first, so I guess that means you, Cubby. You ready?” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready for anything, you dingus, get this show on the road.” 

“Alright, here goes nothin’. This is the part I actually had to practice, so God forbid I mess this one up huh? Do you,” David giggled, saying your real name instead of the nicknames you had lovingly bestowed upon you for as long as you could remember, “Take Javi to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?” 

“I do.” 

Carefully slipping the gold band onto Javi’s finger, you could feel your heart bursting in anticipation, biting down on your lip to try and contain your excitement, slowly pulling your hand away to let your brothers finish the second half of the exchange. 

“And do you, Javier Peña, take our sister,” Charlie and David snickered again, having to say your full name for a second time, “to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?” 

“I do.” 

Gently grabbing your palm and gliding the glistening ring onto your finger, Javi rubbed his thumb over the pair of bands nestled together, forever making a home on your hand, his eyes welling at the sight of the sign that you would always be his. 

Intertwining your fingers together and hands clasped in front of you, you and Javi were radiating with joy, anxiously staring back and forth between each other and your brothers for them to finally say those magic words you had been waiting to hear since the moment you had met all that time ago. 

“Well ladies and gentleman… by the power vested in us, the internet and the state of Texas, it’s our honor to introduce to you the new Mr. and Mrs. Peña.” Charlie grinned at you, trying not to burst into laughter at the near panicked look on your faces, not having heard the next set of words you were more than dying to hear. 

“Well go on, you lovebirds, kiss already!” David snickered, shrugging at the pair of you with a grin on his face. 

Before he could barely finish his sentence, Javi’s hands were cupping your face, palms cradling your jaw as he brought his mouth to yours, fireworks exploding in your stomach at the electric intensity of his kiss, so soft and tender, yet so desperate and needy, like it was the first time his lips had ever met yours, and that he never, ever wanted to let them go. 

Your hands shot up to grab his face too, a smile creeping across your mouth with your lips still pressed to his as Javi dipped you down, sliding his hand down the small of your back to hold you before pulling you back up, his lips still locked on yours like glue. 

In that moment, it seemed like time stood still, that nothing else in the world existed besides the two of you- nothing else mattered besides the fact that you were here, kissing the man that you loved more than anything in the world. 

The man that you finally got to call your husband. 

Over the cheers, whistling, and hollering from your friends and family, the both of you were finally snapped back to reality as David gave you a little nudge and a look that screamed “gross, save it for the honeymoon.” 

Reluctantly breaking from your kiss, you grabbed Javi’s hand in yours, holding your fists in the air and cheering in excitement right alongside your guests before heading back up the aisle, your cheeks hurting from how hard they were smiling. So lost in your excitement, you turned your head as you felt Javi stop, tugging you back to the middle of the aisle, smirking as he pulled you close to his chest, whispering in your ear. 

“Not so fast, Mrs. Peña. C’mere.” Grabbing your face and wrapping his arm around your waist, Javi was kissing you again, swinging you down in another dip that had you erupting in giggles and your guests cheering even louder, Javi’s smooth moves soliciting a loud “OW OW” most definitely from Steve. 

“God, I love you.” You smirked as Javi pulled you back up to stand before the two of you were nearly skipping down the rest of the aisle in bliss, racing to the back of the crowd where you had entered the ceremony, turning the corner behind the house where no one could see you, not even bothering to look over your shoulder to see who’d followed you before your lips were crashing into each others again. 

This one was nowhere near as tame as the kisses you had just shared moments ago- this kiss was a tangled mess of tongues and teeth, Javi’s hands creeping dangerously close to the curve of your ass as you tugged at the lapels of his suit jacket, your mouths moving in a messy dance as you whispered muffled and muted words between your kisses. 

“Fuck, my beautiful wife. God, I’m so fucking lucky. I love you so much.” 

“I love you so much too, Javi, I’m so-” 

“Jesus Christ, it’s been 30 seconds and y’all can’t keep your hands to yourselves? C’mon, now. Y’all gotta whole week and a half to do this without having to subject the rest of us to it, Mr. and Mrs. Peña.” Steve laughed, making the both of you gasp as he slapped Javi on the back, immediately making your cheeks flush pink in embarrassment and Javi groan in annoyance at his best man’s timely (or untimely) disruption. 

“Steve, c’mon like you didn’t have your hands all over me after we got married.” Connie sighed, now smacking the back of her own husband’s head, making him wince in pain. “Congratulations, you two. We’re so happy for you.” 

“Thanks, Connie.” You and Javi smiled, Javi still keeping his hand wrapped around your waist as the rest of your wedding party started making their way back up the aisle to greet you, too.

“Also having gotten married before, you’re gonna thank me later as I make you go find your brothers to sign your marriage license somewhere that has a little peace and quiet before you get none the rest of the night. Why don’t you guys head inside and I’ll cover for you for a little, okay?” 

“You’re the best, Connie, thanks.” Javi grinned, pulling you away towards the house, quietly sneaking in through the front door to wait for your brothers, Javi looking both ways around the seemingly empty house before pulling you close again. 

“Javi, Charlie and David are gonna be in here any minute, and they’re gonna give us just as much shit as Steve, if not more.” You giggled, gazing up into Javi’s eyes, still awestruck and giddy. 

“I know. Just one more kiss, mi esposa (my wife).” Javi smirked, tilting his head down to press his lips to yours, his thumb tracing soft circles on your cheek as the rest of his fingers cradled your jaw, tilting your eyes up towards him. “Fuck, you’re finally my wife. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.” 

“Good thing we have the rest of our lives to get used to it, huh?” 

People weren’t kidding when they said that your wedding would be a blur- From the moment the ceremony ended, it felt like everything was moving in fast and slow motion at the same time, being pulled in every direction to talk with family members, take pictures, and make sure that things were running smoothly. As much as you and Javi were both trying to soak in every moment of your special day together, it was safe to say the two of you were feeling a little overwhelmed by the time you had gotten to dinner, and couldn’t have been more thankful to have a moment to finally sit down. 

More importantly, you were so glad that you had gotten to the point where you had a drink, some delicious food in your stomach, and the best part of the night ahead of you- dancing. 

The sun was beginning to set on the horizon of the Peña ranch as dinner was coming to a close, the clanging of forks and knives against dinner plates slowly shifting to chatter and conversation that was filling the space of the white tent that had been propped up in the backyard for your reception. 

You weren’t really sure what to expect when you had decided on a backyard wedding, but with the absolutely stunning work your mom, Connie, sister in law, and Javi’s aunt’s had put together for you, they had made a white tent feel like something out of a fairytale. String lights and greenery were strung across above you, long tables decorated in candles and beautiful garlands of eucalypts, sprinkled white and pink roses from Lucia’s garden, along with cute, colorful vintage cups that the women had collected or thrifted for your guests to use. Everything about your setup felt magical, and with the sun sinking and fading into dusk, the glow and twinkles of the lights illuminating your space only made it feel that much more incredible. 

As the two of you sat at your head table, bellies full and hearts happy, feeling a little tipsy from the extra strong margaritas Javi’s cousin seemed to be making, you were a little worried as what looked like a more than just tipsy Steve approached you, slapping a stack of index cards in front of you. 

“Listen… I’m like the perfect level of drunk to give this best man speech. Any less drunk and I’ll be too fuckin’ nervous to do it, and any more drunk I’m not gonna be able to remember what I’m supposed to say. Y’all good to keep this movin’ so you can do your first dance and then we can get this party started?” 

“Jesus Christ, Murph…” Javi sighed, laughing at his friend, now sassily crossing his arms over his chest at Javi. “This speech better be good.” 

“It’s good, and Connie approved, so you know I won’t say any dumb shit. Well, not if we don’t start soon and I keep drinking more.” Steve paused, letting out a low burp, rubbing his stomach and grimacing at the two of you, snorting at him. 

“Take it away, Shakespeare.” You smiled, gesturing your arm out to the dance floor in front of the guests sitting at their tables, chatting away. You couldn’t help but laugh as Steve confidently made his way to the front of the crowd, Connie silently mouthing “I’m so sorry”  from across the room, pointing at her husband, now ready to take the stage. 

“Hey y’all,” Steve started, bellowing his voice loud enough to catch everyone’s attention, making them pause their chit chat and focus their attention on him. “I’m Steve Murphy. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Javi’s best man. Normally it’s customary for a guy like me to come up and say a few words about the bride and groom, so lucky for y’all, I’m your guy tonight. You’re welcome, Jav.” 

The crowd laughed as Javi sighed, rolling his eyes at Steve and shaking in his head in fear of what was to come, sliding your hand over to rest on his thigh, giving your now husband a little squeeze of reassurance to have some faith in his friend. 

“I have had the pleasure of knowing Javi for a long time now. It’s been, what, 17 years now, Jav?” Steve asked, turning back to look for confirmation. 

“It’s been too long.” Javi replied, shaking his head, his witty response only making your friends and family laugh more. 

“Whatever, you grumpy old bastard. Anyways, I first met Javi when I found out that I would be his partner down in Colombia working for the DEA. Not gonna lie, when I first met him, while I’ve never admitted this until now, I was pretty intimidated by the guy. He was cool, smart, respected, even though his jeans were way too fuckin’ tight.” Steve teased, winking at Javi, making you snicker from the few pictures you had seen from back in the day when Javi was in Colombia, knowing exactly what Steve meant. 

“I’ll spare you all the details of our time down there, but through all of our trials and tribulations, despite our differences and disagreements, the one thing I always admired about Javi is that he really cared about what he did. No matter what, he always cared about trying to do the right thing for the people he cared most about. Now, believe me, if you would have asked me all those years ago if I would have ever pictured Javi here today, gettin’ married, buildin’ a house and talkin’ about startin’ a family? Well shit, I prolly woulda told you that you were bat shit crazy. But, if there’s anyone in the world who deserves every ounce of all that domestic, lovely dovey bliss, it’s this man right here.” Steve smiled softly, pointing back to Javi who couldn’t help but let his heart fill with warmth at the sentiment from his friend, your hand rubbing up and down Javi’s leg, his grasping over yours to hold it tight. 

“Javi, I know you’ll never believe me when I tell you this, but I’m real proud of ya, man. And I hope you know how goddamn lucky you are that this beautiful woman has agreed to spend the rest of her life with your grumpy ass. Speaking of which…” Steve smirked, turing back to look at you with a goofy grin, making you raise an eyebrow at whatever stupid comment was bound to come out of his mouth. 

“Mrs. Peña. I never thought I’d live to see the day Javi was so in love. When he called me a few weeks after the two of you first met, and was all jazzed and excited to tell me about this beautiful girl he had started datin’ and how happy he was, I just about damn near fell down. He never said it on that phone call, but I knew that this sorry shit was absolutely head over heels in love with you.” 

That comment had you giggling at Javi’s blushing face, his cheeks turning pink at Steve’s story, even though he knew damn well it was the truth. 

“I couldn’t think of anyone who would be more perfect for Javi if I tried. When I first met you and saw how sickeningly cute y’all were together, God’s honest truth, my first question I asked Javi was when he was plannin’ on buyin’ a ring. Glad to see that sometimes he’ll take my advice. Sweetheart, I can’t thank you enough for being so good to my best friend right there. I hope he knows how lucky he is to have someone like you.” 

Grabbing your hand, Javi interlocked his fingers with your underneath the table, softly smiling at you and gently nodding his head in agreement. 

“I also need to thank you that he’s finally got someone else to worry about him instead of me. One less thing off my back. No offense, Jav. Alright, well, y’all have probably heard enough of me yappin’, and y’all are anything like me, you’re ready for more drinkin’ and dancin’. To Mr. and Mrs. Peña-” Steve paused, grabbing the nearest drink he could find and raising it up in the air, prompting the rest of your guests to do the same. “Wishin’ you two lovebirds a lifetime of happiness. I love you guys. Cheers!” 

Over the applause and cheerful shouting, Steve rushed his way back over to the two of you, slotting himself in between your seats so his head poked out between yours, wrapping his arms around both your shoulders and pulling you in for a hug. 

“Nice work, Murph.” Javi smiled, patting Steve on the back, laughing to himself at how genuinely thoughtful Steve’s speech had turned out to be. 

“Thanks, Steve. Your speech was really great. How much did Connie have to edit out?” You snickered, looking back between him and Javi. 

“... Let’s just say I left out the part about y’all horny bastards needin’ to be better about lockin’ your doors when other people are around.” Steve chuckled, shaking both of you in his grap, You and Javi’s eyes sheepishly darting to the ground in embarrassment. 

“Fuck off, Murph.” 

“Love you too, Jav.” 

With one last pat on the back for each of you, before you could say anything else, Steve was already halfway across the tent back to the bar to congratulate himself for getting through his speech without any major slip ups or major scoldings from Connie after he returned back to his table. 

“Thank God for Connie.” You grimaced, laughing at Javi whose face was buried in his palm, shaking his head at his friend, wondering why he would expect any less from him. “...He’s not wrong, though.” 

“I’m triple checking that I lock all the doors later so I don’t give him any more reasons to be right…” Javi sighed, giving you a little nudge while the hand that had been holding yours suddenly let go, resting on your thigh over your dress, giving it a long squeeze, making your heart race in anticipation, his eyes locking with yours, telling you everything you needed to know.  

Some way, some how, Javi was going to find a way to fuck you before the night was done. 

“Javi…” You whispered, heat creeping through your cheeks, trying your best to keep from blushing as you locked eyes with him, his devilish grin and lust pooling in the dark brown of his eyes entrancing you in a way that had butterflies swirling in your core and ache rapidly beginning to grow between your legs. 

“Si, Mi esposa?” (Yes, my wife?), Javi smirked back, running his hand further up your thigh and closer to your core as his other hand came up to cup your face, thumb tracing back and forth across your skin, toying just enough to tug at the corner of your lip. 

While you had gotten a little bit of alone time with Javi today, the way that the both of you had been absolutely insatiable for each other after seeing each other in your wedding attire, let alone the fact that you were now actually married? You and Javi were both dying to try and find a second to yourselves without interruption, especially from Steve. 

So caught up in awe of each other, you and Javi hadn’t even noticed your DJ, standing next to your table, quietly clearing his throat to try and get your attention. 

“Hey, uh- Mr. and Mrs. Peña?” He interjected, loud enough to finally snap you and Javi out of the horny stare down you had entered, “Are um- are you two ready for the first dance?” 

“Oh, um- yeah, y-yeah, sorry about that.” Javi grumbled, the two of you quickly trying to snap out of the thick heat of sexual tension that had been growing between you, both readjusting yourselves in your seats as you looked up sheepishly at the DJ,  “Sorry, what did you say?” 

“I asked if you two were ready to do your first dance? If you um, if you need some more time I can-” 

“No, we’re okay, thanks.” You grimaced, trying to keep from giggling and blushing as you looked over at Javi and then back at your DJ. “You ready to dance, Mr. Peña?” 

“Never been more ready, Mrs. Peña.” Javi replied, grabbing your hand as the two of you stood up, out of your seats walking to the edge of the dance floor while your DJ headed back to his booth. 

“Hello everyone! We’re going to get ready to start our first dance with the newlyweds, so if you could please direct your attention to the dance floor, we’re about to get started!” 

Before you could even take a step out onto the floor, the cheering and clinking of knives against glasses was erupting amongst the crowd, Javi happily taking the opportunity to grab you by the waist and pull you in for a long, deep kiss, making you giggle against his lips still pressed to yours as he dipped you down, before pulling you back against his chest. 

“Show off.” You snickered, raising an eyebrow at him as he finally pulled away from your kiss, staring down at you with a goofy grin. 

“Better get used to it, Mrs. Peña. I’ve got the whole rest of our lives to keep showing you off.” Javi smirked, shooting you a wink before tugging you out into the center of the dance floor, patiently waiting for your song to start as you draped one arm around his neck, Javi snaked his hand around your waist, and the pair of your other hands joined clasped at your side. 

It was then that the melodic violin entrance to “At Last” by Etta James began to play, Javi smiling down softly at your agreed upon choice for your first dance song after lots of debate and discussion the past few months. 

At last 

My love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

As the music began to play, you and Javi began to sway back and forth to the syrupy symphony of the song, your heart bursting and stomach filling with the same butterflies it had the first time you had met Javi all those months ago. 

“I’m glad we picked this one.” Javi smiled, the two of you circling your way around the dance floor, eyes locked on each other.  

“Me too. It always makes me think of making breakfast with you on the weekend and all the little moments I love with you.” You grinned back, letting go of Javi’s hand to drape both arms over his shoulder and around his neck. 

“It makes me think of spilling that entire bowl of pancake batter all over Bear and then having to chase him around the house to get him in the tub.” Javi sighed, rolling his eyes as he laughed to himself, tightening his grip around your waist to pull you closer. 

I found a dream that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own 

I found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known 

“Me too. God, who would have thought that a year ago we’d be having our first dance at our wedding talking about spilling pancake batter all over our dog.” You giggled, leaning to rest your head against Javi’s chest. 

“I did.” 

Looking up at Javi, you could feel your cheeks warming, staring at his big brown eyes welling with tears, trying your best to now hold back the wetness pooling under your lashes. 

“Osita, I swear, from the moment I saw you smile at me, I knew that you were the only woman in the world I ever wanted. I knew you were the one I wanted my forever with. I’ll never get over the fact that I’m the luckiest man alive. I love you so fucking much.” Javi choked back, letting one of his hands slide up your face, gently cupping your cheek as he tilted his head in for a soft kiss on your lips before pulling away for another one on your forehead. 

You smiled, you smiled 

Oh and then the spell was cast

And here we are in Heaven 

As the song began to slow, the sweet melody winding down to its close, Javi lifted up his arm to let you twirl beneath him before spinning you back into his chest and wrapping his arm around your waist to catch you as he dipped you down again, your mouths meeting in a long, tender kiss, electricity sparking between your lips and butterflies swirling in your stomach. 

For you are mine 

At last 

“I love you too, Javier Peña.” 

Over the applause of your guests, you could hear an obnoxiously loud “OW OW” from the crowd, coming from a now even more intoxicated Steve, making you and Javi laugh at his reaction, swiftly followed by Connie’s sharp jab to his ribs to get him to settle down. 

“Alright ladies and gents,” The DJ spoke over the rumble of voices at the dinner tables, “Let’s have one more big round of applause for our newlyweds!” 

As the crowd began to clap again, and Steve, threatened by another blow to his side, cheering at an appropriate volume, the DJ spoke again with the announcement you had been patiently waiting for since the ceremony finished. 

“Alright everyone, with our first dance done, it’s time for the best part of the night, the dance floor is officially open! Let’s party!” 

As the blaring intro to “Jump Around” began to blast to your speakers, your friends and family rushed to the dance floor, you let out a squeal of surprise as Javi snatched you up around your middle, lifting you up to spin you around in a fit of giggles. 

“Vamos a bilar, mi esposa.”  (Let’s dance, wife) 

The rest of the night was the best kind of celebration that you could have asked for- the joy of being surrounded by your friends and family, dancing the night away to your favorite songs, and drinking one too many margaritas with your husband was everything you could have asked for and more on your wedding night. 

It was no shock to you that your family had no problem making absolute fools of themselves out on the dance floor, happily (and drunkenly) flailing along to every single song, although your brothers’ and Steve’s enthusiastic sing-along to “Baby Got Back” was impressive, to say the least. 

And while you and Javi had expected your family to act a fool, what neither of you had expected was how excited Chucho was to bust out dance moves of his own, taking everyone by surprise as he joined all your co-workers and Javi’s co-workers (who had quickly become best friends on the dance floor), to shake his way through “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls, leaving you in hysterics, and Javi in stunned embarrassment at his dad’s antics. 

As the evening began to creep later and later into the hours of the night, a very sleepy Olivia approached you and Javi on the dance floor, gently tugging at your dress and his pants for attention with puppy dog eyes plastered on her face that almost gave Javi’s a run for his money. 

“Auntie Bear and Uncle Javi, can I pick a song? Pleaseeeeeee?” Olivia begged, pouting her bottom lip at the two of you, absolutely melting your hearts in an instant. 

“Of course, mi amor.” Javi smiled, caving immediately as he crouched down to her level, her face lighting up in delight at her uncle’s response, coming close to whisper in his ear. 

If you couldn’t have already been more in love with your husband, watching him listen intently to what your niece had to say, nodding in agreement before scoping her up to rest on his hip, you were practically in a puddle now. 

“Me and Miss Olivia are gonna go make a song request.” 

“But Auntie Bear, you have to let me dance with Uncle Javi first, okay?” Olivia quickly added, very adamantly. 

“Of course, lil Miss. Have fun, you two.” You smirked as Javi and Olivia made their way over to the DJ, watching Olivia’s face light up instantly as the DJ agreed to her request, Javi carrying Olivia out to the middle of the dance floor and setting her down on the ground as the end of the song slowly began to fade into your niece’s song choice. 

With her love for the movie, you shouldn’t have been surprised at all that her pick was “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” from the Lion King Soundtrack, but even though you weren’t shocked at her choice, there was nothing that going to be able to prepare you for the gut wrenching cuteness that was your now husband, dancing with your niece. 

It had already gotten to the point in the night that Javi’s suit jacket and tie were long gone, 3 buttons undone and sleeves rolled up to his forearms, and the once neat curls of his dark hair now messily sweeping his forehead from your night of dancing, and if the sight of just how goddamn handsome Javi looked, on top of the fact he was now officially your husband, paired with the sight of him slow dancing to the Lion King with Olivia? 

Your ovaries were just about shot to hell. 

As the song played and Javi and Oliva spun around the dance floor in a fit of smiles and giggles, you couldn’t help but wish with every bone in your body that it was your daughter that Javi was dancing with, nearly falling to your knees the thought of making him a dad, on top of being your husband. And if that wasn’t enough, the two of you were finally married, and that meant half of your bargain to start trying for kids was complete- and with the other half being your house finally finishing with construction which was almost close to being done as well, you were so close to start trying for a baby of your own, you could almost taste it. 

And that? That drove you crazy enough to feel like you were going to combust. 

So stuck in your daydream, you didn’t even notice Olivia running up to you, now tugging at your dress again, letting out a little sleepy yawn as she tried to get your attention. 

“Okay Auntie Bear, you can dance with Uncle Javi now. Thanks for letting me pick a song.” Olivia smiled as you sunk down to meet her, wrapping her in a hug. 

“Of course, Olivia. Thank you for being the best flower girl today. I love you, cutie patootie. Alright, I’m gonna go dance with Uncle Javi now, okay?” 

“I love you too, Auntie Bear. I think Uncle Javi misses you, he wouldn’t stop looking at you the whole time we were dancing. I think he wants to kiss you again, but that’s gross. Yuck.” Oliva grimaced, making you giggle as she stuck out her tongue before watching her scamper away back to her sisters and the Murphy girls to dance some more. 

As you turned back, bracing yourself to stand back up, you were greeted with Javi’s large palm held out in front of you, pulling you up to greet his handsome grin while you looked up at him. 

“I’ve been told I have permission to come dance with you now.” 

“It did take some persuading, I told her I’d save an extra piece of cake for her if she let me go dance with you.” Javi chuckled, pulling you back out onto the dance floor, slowly swaying back and forth to the beat. 

“Watching you two out there is dangerous.” You smirked, raising an eyebrow at Javi as he cocked his head in confusion. 

“What do you mean, hermosa?” 

“I mean,” You paused, standing up a little bit taller, throwing one arm over Javi’s shoulder, running your hand through the hairs at the nape of his neck to whisper in his ear, “Watching the two of you made me think about how much I wanna make you a dad. And now that we’re married and the house is almost done, we actually get to start trying soon.” 

It took everything in Javi not to let out an audible moan, letting out a gulp and scrunching his eyes shut for a moment to try and maintain his composure at what you had just said to him, his grip around your waist immediately tightening and eyes darkening as he opened them, staring down at you, absolutely awestruck. 

“Fuck me.” He muttered to himself, almost shaking his head in disbelief that after all of the time you had spent talking about wanting kids and nights you’ve had wishing there hadn’t been any birth control to keep you from having them were now an almost tangible reality, “Is that what you want, mi esposa? My wife wants me to give her a baby?” 

Javi’s voice rasped in your ear, sending shivers down your spine, your stomach flipping in arousal at the hot breath of his words against your skin, knowing what had started as a sweet and simple moment of Javi dancing with Olivia had quickly shifted into a desperate want, no, need, for him to give you what you were asking for. 

As the music slowly faded into the next song, bodies shuffling and dancing to the more upbeat tune that had followed Olivia’s choice, the both of your figures stood frozen on the dance floor in a silent exchange of racing hearts and yearning glances before Javi took your hand in his. 

“Follow me.” 

In an instant, Javi was tugging you across the dance floor, the two of you dodging and weaving your way through your guests with polite smiles and happy waves, doing everything you could to try and sneak away as discreetly as possible in hopes that everyone would be too preoccupied (or too drunk) to realize that you were gone. 

But at this point, you really didn’t care whether anyone noticed if you were gone or not. Truth be told, the only thing you cared about was finally getting to fuck your husband. 

Finally making it through the worst of the maze of people, you and Javi had made your way to the back porch, quietly peeking your heads through the door, checking to make sure the coast was clear before hastily slipping inside, gently shutting the door behind you before sneaking down the hall to Javi’s room, thanking whatever higher power had let the two of you get to his bedroom in peace. 

From the moment Javi had shut the door behind him, you were all over each other in an instant, hands roaming across each other’s bodies as you stumbled until the back of your legs hit the mattress, flopping down onto the bed, Javi’s body caging yours in his frame. Your lips crashed together in a hungry clash, tongues, teeth and moans melting together between your mouths as Javi hiked up the skirt of your dress, running his hands along your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh in his firm grasp before his fingers crept towards your aching core, ghosting over the white, lacy fabric covering your cunt, already soaking with arousal. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet, hermosa. My wife’s pretty little pussy all wet for me, huh?” Javi rasped, the pads of his fingers pressing more pressure over your covered clit, making you whimper in delight. 

“It’s all yours, Javi. Yours forever, baby.” You moaned, your breath hitching in the back of your throat as Javi’s fingers dipped under the waistband of your underwear, collecting the slick pooling around your folds before plunging his two fingers inside your heat and thumbing at your sensitive bundle of nerves, pure bliss running through your veins at his touch. 

Your response had Javi practically growling, a low groan rumbling in his chest as he looked down to see the golden and diamond bands glistening on your finger, awestruck at the beautifully blissed out mess you were already becoming as his fingers curled, prodding at the spongy spot inside you that he knew drove you wild. 

“You’re so fucking perfect, Osita. My beautiful wife. Fuck- I can’t believe your mine. I love you so fucking much.” Javi groaned, his words muffled between the hot, wet kisses he kept planting on your lips, feeling your cunt beginning to clench around his digits. 

“I l-love- fuck- I love you too, Javi.” You whimpered, the all too familiar tingle at the base of your spine beginning to build as Javi’s fingers pulsed in and out of your heat and thumb circled your throbbing clit, knowing with how worked up you were and how good he felt, it wouldn’t take much more before you were coming undone around his hand. 

“I know you’re close, baby. Let go, hermosa. Cum for me so I can fuck my wife and show her how much I love her.” 

“F-Fuckfuckfuck Javi. Don’t stop, baby, don’t s-sto-ahhhhhhhhh.” 

With his thumb circling faster and harder around your sensitive bundle of nerves, and fingers plunging in and out of your weeping hole, it wasn’t long before you could feel that all too familiar tingle spreading throughout your body, your orgasm flooding through every inch of you as you came around his fingers, soaking his hand. 

“That’s it, Osita. That’s my good girl. My good wife.” Javi groaned, making you whimper as he withdrew his fingers from your dripping heat, admiring the slick and shiny mess you had made around his fingers, entranced by the way your arousal had coated his wedding band as he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking his fingers clean before beginning to work at his belt. “You taste so fucking sweet, baby.” 

You sat back up, looking over your heaving chest to see Javi shuffling his pants and boxers down his thighs, leaving them to pool around his ankles, revealing his cock, already so painfully hard and weeping with precum from his tip. Reaching down to run his fingers through your folds again, he collected your slick on his hand before rubbing it up and down his length, stroking himself to line up with your entrance. 

“F-fuck, let me feel you baby, p-please.” You whined, reaching up to grab fistfuls of Javi’s shirt, tugging him down to kiss you and lay his body on top of yours. 

“Jesus fucking Christ…” Javi moaned, slowly filling you up with his cock inch by inch until he had bottomed out against your cervix, letting you adjust to the fullness as he relished in the wet and warmth of your pussy gripping around him like a vice. 

“M-move, Javi, please, baby.” The sweet sting and stretch of Javi’s length inside you already wanting to make your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

Javi began to languidly thrust himself in and out of your heat, dragging his cock almost painfully slowly against your velvety walls, cursing under his breath at the feeling of his balls beginning to tighten in his stomach, knowing there was no way he was going to be able to last as long as he would have wanted to in the moment. 

“Javiiiii” You whined, your arms wrapping around back, nails pressing into his shoulders as his cock hit the spot inside you that lit you ablaze. His hand snaked between your bodies, reaching down to rub your clit, still slow, taking his time with each graze of his fingertips as his pace held deep and steady. Every thrust in and out of his hips had you wrecked as he filled you so fully and intensely, moaning his name over and over while he grasped the meat of your thighs, pressing your knees against your chest to stretch you open even further.  

“God you’re so beautiful. My beautiful fucking wife. Gonna be such a beautiful mom for our kids.” Javi grunted, this thrusts becoming faster and sloppier as he let the reality of his marriage and actual attempts to start trying for a family burn a hole in the forefront of his mind, igniting something even feral within him, knowing he was one step closer to finally giving you and him what you both wanted more than anything. 

For Javi to get you pregnant.

The last sentence made your breath hitch in the back of your throat, whimpering at the notion that because you were finally married, there wasn’t much stopping you from tossing out your birth control tomorrow and trying to get pregnant by the end of the month. 

“J-Javi-” You whined, trying to form any sort of coherent thought as your brain short circuited from the pure bliss and heart racing thoughts running through your brain. 

“What, Osita?”  

“I-I want you- oh shit- to fuck a baby into me, Javi. I wanna throw out the rest of my birth control- I don’t care if the house- Jesus- isn’t finished. I wanna stop taking it tomorrow. I w-want you to- fuck- fill me up and get me pregnant.” 

You could practically feel the weight of Javi’s jaw dropping to the floor, eyes bulging out of his skull, and heart beating out of his chest, so shocked, he stopped himself mid thrust, just to make sure he had heard you correctly. 

“Osita- baby, are you- holy fuck- baby, are you serious?” 

You nodded your head frantically, grabbing the collar of his shirt to pull him in for an electric kiss before leaning back to whisper in his ear, your voice sultry and low. 

“I need my husband to fuck a baby into me. Please. Fuck a baby into me, Javi.” 

If Javi didn’t have his arms already braced on the bed, there’s no way in hell he wouldn’t have fallen over in pure delight at your request, his stomach now churning with the wildest mix of excitement, lust and pride, spreading up through his chest and across his face, the brown of his eyes darkening and awestruck smile widening. 

“You want me to fuck a baby into you, Hermosa?” Javi asked, almost rhetorically, a devilish grin spreading between his cheeks as he began to pound into you again, not even giving you a chance to respond, knowing damn well what your answer was.  

If his thrusts weren’t already frantically rushed and sloppy, they most definitely were now, Javi practically on the brink of his own high just from the thought of getting to fuck you, knowing there was a real, true chance of getting you pregnant, trying to fight with everything in him to keep from busting right then, needing to make sure that you came again before he did. 

The lewd noises of your moans, wetness of Javi’s cock sliding in and out of you, and his hips snapping against yours coated the walls of the room, the both of you having no regard for anyone who may have been close enough to hear you, so caught up in the moment, that at this point, you couldn’t have cared less if anyone caught the both of you. 

“Answer me, baby. Mierda- You want me to fuck a baby into you, huh? Want me to fucking fill you up and get you pregnant? Show everyone you’re mine with our baby growing inside you?” Javi grunted through gritted teeth, pounding into your g-spot with blinding force, frantically circling your clit as he felt your cunt begin to clench tighter and tighter around his cock, knowing you just needed a little bit more before he had you coming undone. 

“Y-yes- fuckfuckfuck- I need you to, Javi, p-please baby, please, please, pleaaahhhhhhh-” 

Just like that, you could feel yourself gushing around Javi’s cock as you came, your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave, crashing through every inch of your body, euphoria flooding through your veins, screaming his name while he fucked you through your high, desperately chasing his own. 

“I’ll give it to you baby, I- fuck me- I’ll give you everything you want. I’ll give you as many babies as you want. I’ll give you a family, I’ll give you my heart, my soul, my everything, my- oh fuck!” 

Javi’s hips stuttered, forcing a low groan to rumble in his throat as he came, the hot ropes of his spend coating your walls, making sure to milk himself of every last drop inside you, still pulsing and thrusting inside you, ensuring that nothing went to waste. 

Slumping his body on top of yours, your chests rose and fell in sync, trying your best to catch your breaths as you came down from your highs, your mouths meeting in a sloppy kiss to try and ground  you back to reality. 

“Holy fuck…” You whispered through your labored pants, laughing to yourself from the pure bliss of what had just happened, staring up at Javi with a radiant grin, brushing the sweat-dampened curls from his forehead. 

Javi hissed as he carefully pulled out, leaning back enough to see the smile on your face, gently cupping your cheek as he looked down at you with a goofy grin of his own. 

“Osita… Were you being- baby, were you serious about what you said?” 

“Jav, I don’t think I’ve ever been more serious about anything in my entire life. Is-is that okay with you?” You asked, biting down on your lip. 

“Is that okay with me?” He asked, almost mockingly, chucking to himself as he shook his head in disbelief, “We can really throw it away tomorrow?” 

“Yup.” 

“And you won’t bring it with you on the honeymoon?” 

“Nope.” You replied, popping the “p” at the end of the word. 

“And there’s- holy fuck- there’s a chance you could actually get pregnant soon?” Javi asked, his face glowing brighter and brighter with each question he asked. 

“Mmmhhmmm. Well, I mean, it might not happen right away but- Ahhhh Javi!” You giggled as your husband aggressively peppered ticklish kisses across your entire face, making you squeal and squirm in delight. 

“Fuck, I love you so much. Thank you.” Javi smiled, tears welling in his eyes as he looked down at you. 

“Jav, baby, don’t cry! Why are you crying, you dork?” 

“You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted. You married me, we’re gonna have a family, it’s just- fuck, I promise, that I wanna spend the rest of my life until the day I die showing you how thankful I am that you chose me. That you gave me all the things I stopped thinking I deserved. I love you so much, it fucking hurts, Osita. Thank you for choosing me.” 

Sitting up, you threw your arms around Javi, pulling him close to you in the tightest hug you could muster, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling the weight of his body melt into yours, your bodies intertangled as one. 

“Javi, you’re the only one it ever could be. Te amo más de lo que las palabras pueden expresar. (I love you more than words can say).” 

“Hey! Lovebirds! Are y’all in here?” 

Over the music and chatter of the party outside, you and Javi had been completely oblivious to the all too familiar southern twang of Steve’s voice behind the bedroom door, gently knocking from the outside after being sent on a mission to find where in the world the two of you had been for nearly a half hour. 

“Hello? Mr. and Mrs. Peña?” Steve rapped again, getting nothing in response but silence. Steve shrugged, drunk enough to have no fear to pound on the door repeatedly until the two of you showed up, now reaching down at the doorknob and giving it a jiggle. 

Steve was shocked to find that he could turn the handle, writing off the fact that they two of you would be in a room with an unlocked door after the 10 pounds of shit he had given Javi, and with his inhibitions severely lowered, he had  no problem cranking the knob and pushing the bedroom door wide open. 

“Hello? Earth to Javi and Mrs. Peña, are y’all in here or not because I- Oh Jesus Christ!” Steve shrieked, opening up the door to see you and Javi, your dress still hoisted up to your waist, and Javi’s bare ass completely on display, making the both of you scream just as loud in surprise at your unwanted visitor. 

“Murphy! Get the fuck out!” Javi snarled, quickly scrambling to try and pull your dress back down and his pants back up. 

“Jesus Fuckin’ Christ!” Steve yelled, immediately bringing his hand to his face to cover up his eyes, trying to drunkenly stumble as quickly as he could back out of the room, but, because of his intoxicated state and self-imposed lack of vision, Steve found himself colliding head first with the wall, knocking himself to the ground before crawling across the floor like a frazzled toddler, kicking the door closed behind him. 

For as devastatingly embarrassed as you were by the whole debacle, you couldn’t help but cackle at the impeccable comedic timing of the whole thing, snickering to yourself as Javi finished buckling back up his pants and helping you up to stand before storming to the door, opening it to find Steve still sprawled on the floor in an a hysteric fit. 

“Are you fucking serious, Murph?” Javi growled, completely unamused. 

“God, I shoulda kept my bit that Connie cut in my speech. Y’all do know that doors have locks, right? Might be helpful if y’all learned how to use ‘em. Just food for thought.” Steve giggled, watching both of your faces grow beet red in embarrassment and at a loss for words. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Javi asked, pinching the arch of his nose between his fingers, shaking his head in frustration, looking down the hallway to make sure that Steve was the only presence you needed to worry about. 

“I’m tryin’ to save your asses before someone else worse than me walks in on the two of you gettin’ it on. Y’all do realize you’ve been gone for almost 45 minutes right? Being the- oh shit-” Steve paused, letting out a giant burp,” ‘cuse me, being the good Best Man I am, I decided to try and find you two idiots before people started askin’ too many questions. So, you’re welcome.” Steve grunted, pushing himself up to stand, cocking his head at the both of, hands on his hips, trying to prove his point. “Also, do you two anything else besides fuc-” 

“Steve! Jesus Christ, will you shut the fuck up!” Javi groaned, staring down at the floor, taking a deep breath to compose himself before he decided to kick Steve right back down to the ground again. 

“...It’s really been 45 minutes?” You grimaced, looking back between Steve and Javi, shrugging at your husband that any longer, your mom would have been on a search party for you, and it would have been your whole family at Javi’s bedroom door instead of just Steve. 

“Yeah, and I’m the first to come lookin’ after ya, so again, you’re welcome. Jesus, Javi, you can really last for 45 fuckin minutes? How the-” 

“Murphy!” 

“Sorry…” 

“Fuck me….” 

“Think you and your wife already took care of that one…” Steve muttered under his breath, trying not to laugh.

“I swear to God, Steve…” 

“Okay, I’m done! I’m done! Swear!” Steve held up his hands in defense, taking a step back away from Javi.   

“Will you please just give us a minute, Murph?” Javi sighed, running his hand through his hair, trying with every bone in his body to keep his patience with his drunken friend. 

“Fine, fine, fine. 1 minute. I’m counting. Use your time wisely and appropriately, you sickos.” Steve snickered, disappearing down the hallway, only to peek his head back out around the corner. “And Jav?”

“What, Murph?” 

“Your fly’s undone.”

As you and Javi sheepishly made your way back out to the backyard, you couldn't have been more relieved to see that at this point, anyone still left at your reception was far too drunk to care that you had been missing, seeing that almost all of your guests were out on the dance floor, partying away without a care in the world, or any inkling of what you and Javi had been up to. 

“Longer than a minute, but beggars can’t be choosers I guess.” Steve chuckled, creeping up behind you with two drinks in hand, passing them both off to you and Javi. “Here. Figured I owe ya a drink. These are on me.” 

“We paid for the bar, Murph.” 

“Alright, well I guess these ones are on you, Grumpy Pants.”  Steve grumbled mockingly, holding up his hands in defense, trying not to stumble over his own two feet as he made his way back to the dance floor. 

“Remind me again why I picked him to be my best man?” Javi laughed, taking a sip of his drink, the both of you snickering as you watched Steve whip out some questionable dance moves to “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen blaring in the background and Connie shake her head at her husband. 

“Because you love him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s an idiot, but he’s a good guy.” You smiled, giving Javi a little nudge, resting your head on his shoulder as you looked out at the dance floor. “Hey-” You paused, holding up your glass and raising it to Javi’s. “Cheers.” 

“Cheers to what, Osita?” Javi asked, wrapping his arm around you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead as he brought his glass next to yours. 

“Cheers to us. I love you so much, Javier Peña, it makes me sick. Sicker than all this tequila is gonna make me tomorrow after I keep drinking it the rest of the night.” 

The two of you snorted, goofily clinking your glasses and taking a hefty sip of your drinks as you looked out on the dance floor, your hearts overflowing with love and joy to know that you were surrounded by all of the people in the world you cared about most, even the ones that couldn’t be physically with you, to celebrate the biggest day of your life and the start of your new forever. 

“Cheers, Hermosa. I love you so goddamn much. Maybe the hangover will help distract the nerves on the flight tomorrow.” Javi smirked, taking another sip of his drink as he shook you playfully in his grasp, your faces both lighting up as you remembered that tomorrow, you be in the Bahamas for the next 10 days, where the only thing you needed to worry about was where you wanted to lay on the beach, what drink you wanted in your hand, and now, seeing how quickly Javi could get you pregnant. 

“Oh shut up.” You sighed, giving Javi a little slap to the chest before taking another sip of your drink, looking up at Javi with heavy lashes, batting your eyes at him. “You just have to remind me that I have to do some unpacking before we leave tomorrow.” 

“Unpacking?” Javi asked, tilting his head in confusion at you, the gears in his brain turning as you bit down on your lip, raising your eyebrow at him, waiting for him to piece together your clue. “Oh. Oh.” 

Javi’s eyes went wide as he remembered what you meant, heart racing in anticipation, never imagining before today that he would have been so excited to actively throw away birth control to try and have a kid.

“Can we throw it away tonight?” Javi pleaded, his puppy dog eyes in full effect. 

“I’m not sure what difference tonight and tomorrow morning is gonna make, but sure. Happy wedding present.” You giggled, pressing up onto your tiptoes to plant a long, hot kiss. 

“Best fucking gift I could ask for besides the fact I finally get to call you my wife.” 

As the end of the song slowly faded out, “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” began to play next in the background, your face lighting up in excitement and Javi’s eyes rolling, hearing the song that had been most likely the biggest controversy of your entire wedding planning process now bumping through the speakers, followed by the cheers and hollers of your guests. 

“I told you people would want to hear this song.” You said smugly, crossing your arms over your chest, popping your hip at Javi as you sassed him, making him shake his head at your theatrics. 

“It doesn’t stop it from being a stupidly annoying song.” 

“A stupidly annoying song that people love. A stupidly annoying song that your wife loves.” You teased. “Whaddya say, Peña, can you stand this unbearably stupid song to go dance with me? 

“I’d dance to this song with you a million times if it means I get to dance with you.” 

Grabbing Javi by the hand, you tugged him out to the dance floor in a fit of giggles and smiles, jumping along and dancing to the beat song after song the rest of the night with your friends, family and husband. 

You couldn't help but catch yourself stopping now and again to smile to yourself to take everything in, feeling like you needed to pinch yourself to make sure this was all really real. Just over a year ago, your life felt like it had hit an all time low. You had moved halfway across the country to try and run from your pain, desperate to find any way to bring yourself any ounce of peace in your ocean of hurt. It felt like fate had forsaken you for the worst, kicking you while you were down, and leaving destruction in its wake. 

But never in a million years would you have believed that fate would have sent you with a one way ticket to Laredo, Texas, and that trip would bring so much more than just the glimmer of hope you longed for. It had brought you peace, comfort, the acceptance you weren’t sure you would have ever allowed yourself to feel. Laredo had brought you everything you never expected, and all of the things you never thought you deserved. 

It brought you Javi- the man who single handedly changed your life for the better, loving you unconditionally for every part of your being and piecing back together the parts of your heart you had left broken.

It brought you the man you now got to call your husband. 

Fate and life have funny ways of working together to bring you the things you need the most when you least expect them. And today, as you got to marry the love of your life and your very best friend, you knew you’d be forever thankful that fate stepped in when you needed it most. 

La vida es graciosa, no lo crees? (Life is funny, isn’t it?)

@chaotic-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns @missladym1981 @messinadresa @milly-louise @jay-zzle @the-one-with-the-grey-color @persephone-girl @bitchesuntitled @pedropascallvr @millennial-teenybopper @nastiasnow @vee-bees-blog @hopplessilse @mxtokko @its-nebuleuse @mandoisapunk @msmorningstaarr @amyispxnk @honeyedmiller @mountainsandmayhem @picketniffler @burningnerdchild @copperhalfcent @theoraekenslover @bloodyinspirationaldemon @vee-bees-blog @amyispxnk @samgirl4life @pigeonmama @pedr0swh0r3 @survivingandenduring

[bridgetotheskyyy]

Research - Jiraiya

Kinktober Masterlist

Warnings: 18+, titfucking, cum eating, fluff, has the nerve to be romantic lmaooo

A/n: Day 2! Jiraiya is the perfect mixture of raunchy perv and gentlemen and if I get to use my bring back one character card it's gonna be on him 😭❤❤❤

Read on Ao3.

The door slid open, but not with ease. 

"Jiraiya?" You pushed past the scraps of paper, potato chip bags, and discarded notebooks interfering with the door’s lower half.

You let yourself into the small apartment and surveyed the damage.

“In here.”

You strode to the living room and there he was: Jiraiya sulked in his chair, lording over an apocalyptic desk. You had never seen so many sheets of paper in your life.

“Is ―” You broke off as a groan lodged itself in Jiraiya’s throat. “Is everything all right?”

“Fine,” he grumbled.

Clearly something was up, and you didn't know what gave it away ― maybe it was the putrid smell of defeat or the dozens of crumbled rejection letters your feet swam in.

Again, Jiraiya groaned. He leaned into a chair creaking under his weight. His enormous arm lay slung over his eyes to block the nonexistent daylight, his tailed hair roping around the floor. 

He hummed tiredly. "You didn't come to collect rent, did you?"

“Jiraiya,” You began with a tone to emphasize what came next should be obvious, “I don’t ask for you for rent, remember?”

It had only been a few weeks since you had let Jiraiya stay in one of your units rent free to finish his latest pulp novel ― how has he forgotten? 

“Ah,” he said. “That’s right. Remind me once this infernal book is finally done to include my appreciation for your hospitality in the acknowledgements.” His other hand shot out as if to give a toast. “To the kindness of strangers!”

A hinge of hurt sent you frowning. “So, I’m a stranger?”

Silence. Jiraiya peeked to admire you. 

“No, you’re not.” He shrouded his eyes again. “Sorry. Shouldn't have said that.”

You approached him, circled his defeated form like a concerned mother hen. “Are you ill? Do you need something?”

He finally removed his forearm. “Have you had much luck with love, (Y/n)?”

You perked. “Hm? I ― What do you mean?”

He quirked his head at you. “C’mon. You know what I mean.” 

“Well … I mean …” Your face grew warm. You nodded. “Yeah. I mean …” This part was under your breath. “... depends on what you mean by luck …”

“I knew it.” Jiraiya sighed and collapsed against the back of his chair. “You weren’t fooling anyone with that pretty face.”

You grew warmer under the spotlight of the compliment. “I …” He thinks I’m pretty?

“You’ll never know how good you have it,” Jiraiya said. Without ceremony, he abandoned the chair to pace around the room. “Do you know how hard it is to write about the raunchy threads of everlasting love when you’ve had no real practice?”

You blinked. Not the first time the man’s diction has thrown you for a loop and thoroughly bewildered you. 

“Raunchy ― raunchy threads ―?”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I’m really cut out for this.” Jiraiya shook his head. “Even success doesn’t guarantee satisfaction with one’s work. Who knew!”

“Jiraiya,” You implored. “You have a series of bestselling novels under your belt.” You playfully pushed at his shoulder ― what bit of it you could reach anyway. “Everyone struggles. You shouldn’t give up so fast!”

Silence, save for the crickets demanding attention tucked away in outdoor bushes.

Jiraiya laughed, a heaty, deep laugh from his belly. 

“Now you sound like one of my students!” 

You shrugged. “I’d offer to help, but you never let me, remember?”

Jiraiya stopped, as though an idea had held its arm out to stop his pacing. 

“You have …” He turned to you. His eyes flickered downward to study you. “Say … Would you … be up for helping me now?”

You threw him a suspicious look. “Depends on how I’ll be helping.” 

Jiraiya’s expression shifted ― nervousness etched onto his face. “Ahem … well …”

He began pacing again. Your brows creased as you followed his movements. What was he up to?

“It’s just,” he began. “When you’re writing, there are just so many unknowns. Things I can’t possibly know, being such a loser with women.” He socked the side of his head with a fist, seemingly convinced in his dried-up state the abuse could lead to some heart-stopping revelation. “Things I can’t even begin to imagine ― you know, ahem, despite the job description.”

“You’re stalling,” You teased. “It’s never good when you stall.”

Jiraiya faced you. You leveled with his chest, the sheer enormity of the man baffling in comparison to you. 

You probably would’ve been scared. 

If it hadn't been him.

Jiraiya reached out. His palm touched the wall, leaving you semi-caged in as he leaned toward you. 

“I’m going to do something,” he muttered. “Something I’ve always wanted to do. Promise not to hit me?”

“Why would I hit you?” You hoped he could not hear the tremble in your voice.

Jiraiya shrugged. “Minimal success with the fairer sex has taught me to proceed with caution.”

Your stomach knotted into itself. The shadow of his intentions fluttered vaguely over the penumbra of your mind. 

“Okay,” You whispered.

Jiraiya inched closer ― every inch a century ― and bridged the gap between you and him, his lips brushing yours before securing them in a soft kiss.

Soft. Gentle, both his lips and the technique he used. 

It was a good thing, too; for if he had used any more force, you surely would’ve died on the spot. 

His unoccupied hand came to cup the back of your head, cajoling you closer. Your lips moved on his while hands cupped the sides of his face. His rough-textured skin laid under your timid touch. Jiraiya hummed in appreciation. His tongue flicked out to ask tentative permission into your mouth.

But once you offered it, he pulled away. He held your gaze for a few seconds before retreating. He stopped midway to press a reverent kiss to your exposed shoulder pad. 

When he parted from you, you trailed his every move back to his disastrous desk. 

“Sorry,” Jiraiya murmured. He laid a hand on the back of his chair for support. “If I went on, I wouldn’t have stopped.” 

You said nothing, only sucked your lips in to taste the phantom of Jiraiya’s kiss.

“Hopefully, I’ve made my true feelings known,” he said. He leaned over his desk for a second before swiping something from it, one sheet of paper amidst many. 

“You …” You trailed. “You … Me?”

He approached you with a chuckle nestled in a smile. “Yes.”

He leaned over the wall, cool-guy style, and the position strangely suited him. You were still recovering as his eyes roved over the sheet of paper limp in his hold.

“I’m sure you also know now all my female love interests are secretly you,” Jiraiya went on. “I’m just so good at remaining subtle, I bet you didn’t notice.”

You had, in your wildest dreams, thought a character or two possessed your likeness, but you had never been so full of yourself to have actually imagined ― 

He offered the paper to you. “This is the scene I’m stuck on. Would you mind reading it over for me?” 

You blinked. It felt like a thousand things were happening when, really, one thing had happened at a time. But so many things. 

“Su ― Sure.” You took the paper. 

You read it, Jiraiya suspiciously close to you, peering over to watch you review his work. His scent dizzied you ― pinewood and paper and pencil shavings, hardly a dazzling combination, but it was him. So it was.

You read. You understood. You blushed.

Jiraiya’s lip-corner quirked, seemingly suspecting you were at the end of the scene. 

“I wanted to make my true feelings known before I suggested this ―” Jiraiya tapped the paper with a finger. “I didn’t want you thinking for a second I was trying to use you for anything.”

You laughed, prompted by the absurdity of it all. He wanted you to ―

You smirked.

“So,” he began, a flirtatious lilt to his voice, “will you do it?” 

You turned to him, tipping your head up to stare at the bigger man. 

“I’d be happy to.”

“Hold still ― hah ― that’s good, argh, that’s gooood ―”

Jiraiya sat above you, face strained. His mouth hung open, the heated huffs of his breath warming your skin, prompting your sensitive nubs to perk. 

You laughed; it was fun to watch him come apart like this, better than any vague fantasy.

“How does this even come up in the story, Jiraiya?”

Jiraiya chuckled amidst the pleasure. “Hehe, ahem, well …”

You squeezed your tits against his cock, presumably to shut him up. Jiraiya stilled, breath sharp.

His shaft sat nestled, secure in the valley of your breasts. You sat your chin on your collarbone to glance at the red, flared cockhead twitching up at you.

You licked your lips. “Is this what you’ve been seeing in your mind’s eye?” You gathered your breasts and began to jerk him, cupping him between your tits. “Picturing me like this, underneath you?”

Jiraiya leaned forward, his tail of hair falling inches from your face.

You cupped your breasts around him, working them against the sensitive skin of his excited cock. 

“I can’t imagine why you got stuck,” You purred, eyes narrowed on the gorgeous man above you.

“Ah, aahah …” Jiraiya’s mouth hung open as his hips worked in tandem with you. “Too enthralled with the real thing ― aargh!”

“I love seeing you like this,” You breathed out.

“I’m sure you do ― aah, gods, they’re perfect!” Jiraiya retrieved his cock to slap it against one tit before securing it in the slit you'd made for him. He jerked his hips; they stuttered as you closed any further gap between his cock and your pillowy breasts. “You’re perfect.”

He opened his eyes ― wrong move; just in time to see your tongue flick out and swipe at his cockhead.

“Urgh!” Jiraiya planted a hand beside your head to secure his balance. “Who knew you’d be such a natural at this?” 

“I did say I had experience, didn’t I?” You swiped and sucked at his cockhead with a hungry mouth. “Did you ― mmf ― forget?”

“Head’s kinda cloudy right now, admittedly ― aah!”

His cock dangled at your mercy, following the swift up-down motion of your breasts. 

You continued egging him on amongst his moaning. It was heavenly, watching the Great Toad Sage come apart just by the use of your tits. You licked and took his cockhead into your mouth, popping it out before speeding up your motions. 

“C’mon,” You urged at the hastening of his breath. “C’mon, Jiraiya, mmm …!”

“Please stop talking,” Jiraiya said. “Nurgh ― so good.” He cracked an eye open to smile weakly at you. “I’ve gotta last, y’know?”

You stared crookedly. “Why?”

“Research purposes ― ah, oh, gods ― we’ve been over this.”

You paused, your breasts falling flat at your sides.

“You know we could always just do this again right?” 

Jiraiya popped both eyes open, collecting himself just enough to speak clearly.

“You’d let me?” he said. “You’d really let me?”

Your eyes flickered over his face lovingly. “Yes.”

“Huh … I guess you’re right.” He smirked, stars in his eyes. “Totally right.”

You rolled your eyes. “S’what I just sai ―”

Jiraiya kneaded at your breasts, thumbs grazing over the precious nubs. You shuddered as he gripped them, adjusting his hips ― and gave a thrust.

He grunted as he took the reigns, thoroughly fucking your tits at his own preferred pace. You gasped as he pinched a nipple in his grasp, twirling it between huge, calloused fingers.

“Aha ―” His cockhead brushed repeatedly over your lips. “Jiraiya ― ah, hah ―!”

“So good,” Jiraiya hung his head back, exposing the raw muscles of his pectorals, the beautiful outline of his collarbone to you. “Such a sweet girl, letting me use you like this …” 

Your cunt throbbed from the heated praise. Again, you licked out for him, your tongue swiping at his cockhead, swishing into the slick slit with each jut of Jiraiya’s hips. 

Jiraiya gritted his teeth. His cock twitched in your hold. Against his own desires, his pace quickened. His abdomen barreled into your chest, skin to heated skin.

He groaned, lurched forward, more animal than man. “I’m gonna ―”

“It’s okay, do it ― cum for me ―”

Jiraiya threw his head back. He released with a growl, his seed patterning your clavicle, your chin, your lower lip. 

He panted as the thrums subsided. He recovered, staring down at you. A string of his cum dribbled down the side of your face. 

Sense returned to him; he frowned. Without fanfare, Jiraiya un-straddled you, as though it was the most gentleman-like behavior he could muster in that moment. 

“I’m sorry.” He let you up. “Let me get you a ―”

You laughed. You collected what was left of him and licked it off your finger.

He went bug-eyed. “You ― you want to ―?”

“Of course,” You said. You patted his inner wrist, having been left limp on the floor in surprise. “It’s okay ― it’s okay,” You insisted as Jiraiya moved to stop you.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” 

You swept up his spent, swallowed, and he watched you with an amazement you couldn’t name. 

“You weren’t lying, were you?” You muttered, turning on your side to face him on the floor. “You really don’t know how these things work? You haven’t …”

Jiraiya recovered enough to perform a halfhearted shrug.

You gasped, tilted your head. “You’re not ―”

“No,” Jiraiya said before you got carried away. “I’m not a virgin, just … Never been super lucky.”

Jiraiya’s fingers brushed against the soft skin of your inner wrist, calloused fingers trailing the faint train of your veins. “Until now.”

[pidge-the-pigeon]

I need some help figuring out what to read next, so I thought I’d make a poll for it :)

Below I will list the books and then below that will be the poll

Sing me to Sleep by Gabi Burton: never read it, has been on my TBR for a WHILE but can’t seem to pick it up due to the cover changing mid series 😭

Daughter of the Deep by Rick Riordan: reread, but have been wanting to reread it since watching the show on Stan called Nautilus which is based off of 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea

Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson: I am literally only 6 or 7 chapters away from finishing it but can’t bring myself to pick it up and finish it

The Alloy of Law by Brandon Sanderson: I LOVED Mistborn Era 1 and really want to read era 2 but I’m scared it’s not gonna live up to era 1 🫣

Mistborn Secret History: I’m kind of hoping this will get me back into reading Sanderson’s Mistborn books, but idk 😭😭😭

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E Schwab: I started rereading it AGES ago but never finished it and it’s one of my all time favourites

Check & Mate by Ali Hazelhood: I sort of feel like rereading this one and I don’t know why 🫠

The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels by India Holton: I JUST finished this series but I love it so so much and want to reread it 🥰

Also if you have a book recommendation please feel free to leave it in the comments 😁

(I may or may not read the winner since I am a mood reader 😅 but I’m still curious what people think I should read, so please still vote 😆)

[rennorthernlights]

The World We Knew

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3: Past Catching Up, Chapter 4

Warnings: Zombie death, description of a child zombie, you unaliving zombies, violence and violence against our girl, Tell Me If I Miss Any

October-ish, 2023. Time??? Location: outskirts of Houston

It’s been a couple days since she last talked to Static and Electricity. Much to their worry but she told them. “I’m gonna be on the move for a couple days and I’ll need it to be quiet. I promise after 3 days I’ll contact you again.” To which Static made her triple-dog swear as she laughed at him being childish about her swearing to him. To which Electricity remarked that they were being extra serious even though his tone was playful. They also swore they’d come for her if anything bad happens to her. Nothing could go more wrong than a zombie virus… right?

“Just my fucking luck.” She sighs heavily as she wipes her sweat. Packs of zombies roaming the streets and on top of that she’s running out of food preserves. “I should’ve saved them raviolis…” her stomach grumbling as she presses her back against a brick wall of the library. God what she would give to read a hard back book again. Grumbling to herself about how she almost finished the Percy Jackson series.

Her thoughts momentarily stopped when she hears the groans of the dead and that’s her cue to get a move on. Carefully looking around and noticing how run down most of it is. Most likely when the virus really took hold of this town it became a buffet. Considering the dried bloody marks on the streets, broken windows, ripped doors, “Jesus,” she murmurs as she ducks behind a car.

A rasping growl snaps her attention as a lil kid stumbles and twitches down the sidewalk. Eyes milky and searching aimlessly, half their face bitten into that she can see the inside of their mouth. She shivers as she moves her rifle to the side and grabs her knife.

She’s noticed that the Z’s don’t see that well. They rely more on their other senses which normally isn’t a problem for her. But… she doesn’t like being out in the open like this. Usually she’d be in a building by now but most have broken down doors. Not safe enough. Maybe she should go find an office building.

She pauses and grumbles lowly “Okay maybe I am predictable.” Snorting as she thinks back to what Electricity was saying and the kid snaps their head towards the noise she made.

“Shit.”

The kid runs limply at her, their blood encrusted nails reaching out to swipe at her as she steps back. Her back against the abandoned car as she waits for the kid to get closer. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs as she kicks her boot against the kids stomach. The dead kid falls down and she’s quick to get on top and stab her knife into the kids head. The kid shakes on the ground for maybe a second before stilling. Her eyes soften as she breathes out slowly. Kneeling down and closing the kids eyes, “I’m sorry you got turned kid… I hope you can rest easier now.” Wiping the blood of the kids from her knife on the kids pants.

Standing back up and dusting herself off as she looks to her side when suddenly she hears a massive BOOM!! The sound making some of the cars blare their emergency sound.

“Fatherfucker!” She yells as another explosion goes off. The sounds riling up every zombie in the area their snarls heard as they immediately start searching in a frenzy. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she curses as she runs towards a building. Artys Arts and Crafts is what she barely saw before she runs in. Ducking behind the shelves as she almost didn’t see the 4 zombies in the room. She stills fast as her eyes widen. Her hand slamming against her mouth as she tries to control her breathing.

They groan and shove against the wall to get to the noise. Mindlessly moving and twitching at every sound. Yells are heard outside and whoever is out there is just attracting more and more attention. She knows she can’t just stay here unless she clears the building. At least the noise will make it easier for her to work around getting to them one by one.

Moving to the one that’s closest she slams the sharp point of her knife to the skull. Pulling her arm back as the sound of the body falling alerts the other 3. Their heads twisting towards the sound. Their arms reaching out as she ducks under one’s arm. Swiping a leg causing that one to fall. Sheathing her knife and grabbing her bat that’s attached to the strap of her backpack. She knows she’ll need range considering the three are coming at her. She can’t risk a bullet or the noise that comes with a bullet.

Yanking her bat free and swinging it hard at the small one that runs to her. “Asshole!” Slamming the bat on head like she would a baseball. Kicking at it as zombie doesn’t go down with that hit. It snarls at her and she pulls back and swings— THUNK!! She has to run back as the other one tries to lunge at her. She curses as it almost grabs her ankle. It crawls on the ground and she stomps her boot on it’s face. She repeats that again as she tries to keep and eye on the fourth that’s staggering to her slamming her bat down on the zombie and once satisfied she pays attention to the last one.

“3 down.” She murmurs as the last one swipes at her. Their veiny hands grasping at her bat and she yells as it snaps it’s teeth towards her. She jerks her bat back making it lean forward and punches the zombie. It lets go of her bat and she slams her bat upwards with her right hand gripping the handle. Breaking the jaw of the zombie as she wails on it again and again once it stumbles to the ground. Swiping her bat to the side to force the black blood off. Walking back to the other three, slamming the blunt of the bat against their heads to make sure they’re dead before she starts checking the rooms.

“Corners and windows.” She murmurs as she checks. Thankfully it’s clear. With a heavy sigh she sits on the table in what looks like the breakroom. She already has the door shut and barricaded. “Those four must’ve been a group.” She notices as some moldy food and wrappers are thrown haphazardly on the floor. Water bottles, some snacks, and some unused toiletries, “Thank god,” she laughs as she sits in the corner. Grabbing her backpack and pulling out a granola bar. Another explosion goes off and she flinches. More noises outside and it might be a fight that’s going off.

“Rival gangs probably,” she’s seen her fair share of warring gangs. Territory claims and all that jazz. “I’ve never been caught in the crossfire of it.” She huffs out as she munches. She pulls her backpack to her. “It’s been longer than 3 days…” she swallows thickly as she knows she’ll get an earful from the guys. Taking time to count and she realizes that it’s been 5 days in total… sighing, “let’s hope they won’t be mad.

Unknown to her as someone watches her closely through the scope of their rifle. Watching as she sits completely unaware that she’s being watched. “Well, well, well,” A grin stretching back as they mark where she is on the map before taking off. “He’s gonna love this.”

————————————————————

“It’s been 5 days!” Soap yells as he hovers over the radio. He and Gaz have been more stressed the last two days. “She said 3. What if she’s hurt or worse?!” His hand slams on the wall of the room he that everyone is hunkering in.

“That’s not helpin, Johnny.” Ghost snaps as his arms are crossed over his chest. Everyone’s been on edge since their girl hasn’t been talking on the radio. It’s become increasingly harder to deal with Soap’s outbursts and Gaz’s quiet glares and clenched hands. “She’s probably trying to get somewhere safe.”

He paces back and forth muttering words in Gaelic and he glared when Ghost tells him to speak English. “And that’s the problem! We told’er to tell us when she needed help!” The Scott growls out in frustration. Eyeing Gaz as he keeps staring at the radio. His thick hands gripping it as he mutters something. “What was that?” Soaps eyes narrows.

“I said..” Gaz flickers to him hesitantly. Biting his lip before he lets out a shaky response. “I said… She might not be al-“

“Don’t!”

“Johnny there’s a very real possibility that she mi-“

“Kyle.” Price cuts through the tension when he sees the radio’s dot blinking. “Look,” He says and Kyle immediately looks at it. His heart pounding as it buzzes.

“..yone hear me? Static? Electricity? Hello?” She calls out through the line. She sounds nervous and scared. Ghost and Price share a glance as they catch the tone of her voice.

“Sunshine? Hey, hey, it’s me,” he speaks back urgently. “We thought… god, love, we thought you were hurt or worse!”

“I… I know, I’m sorry. Is Static okay?” She asks and god love her Soap stumbles to him and he answers quickly. His hand on Kyle’s back as he unconsciously moves his thumb up and down. He speaks, letting her know that he’s there as well. “I’m glad you're both okay. I got into a couple rough patches. There are too many packs roaming.” The men freeze and Soap speaks first.

“You okay? Swear we’ll come for you, Bonnie. Are you hurt?”

“No, no, I’m fine, Static. Promise.”

“What’s going on, Sunshine? It’s not like you to miss out on our daily talks even with packs roaming.” Gaz says softly, all the men huddle around him as they listen for her reply. She takes a bit to respond so he says again, “Sunshine?”

The static from the radio crinkles and finally she speaks, “Got caught in a bit of a crossfire between gangs. At least I think they’re gangs.” She says and then says quickly right after “Nothing to worry about though!”

“Gangs? Oh lass,” The Scott says worriedly, “Are you safe? I thought you said you didn’t do groups?” A tease in his voice.

“Pft, I’m a free-range roamer, Static” joking back, the radio gets loud again, “I’m hunkered down in an arts and crafts store. Killed a couple Z’s but I’m safe. Promise.” Her voice is murmured into the radio like she’s trying to be quiet. “I can hear them outside. There’s been at least 3 explosions.”

Explosions? When Ghost was out checking the perimeter, he noticed an explosion a couple miles out… could they be close to her? “You need to stay in cover, Sunshine. Don’t go out unless you have to.” Kyle says urgently. His thumb cracking and popping the air between the bones. A tale tall sign that he’s nervous. Relaxing just a bit when John places a hand on his shoulder. “Listen… we uh… we saw an explosion from where we are a couple minutes ago. Estimate about 20 minutes ago. Are we?” He bites his lip before he speaks, “Are we close to you?”

The static gets loud as she doesn’t speak for a minute. Price looks a Ghost, a worried twitch of his eyes as Ghost tilts his head slowly. “I… Maybe I don’t know?” Her voice sounds nervous again. “I can’t give a location you kno-“

“Sunny,” Kyle says, his voice warm and understanding. His hand gripping the radio as he wishes he could ease her fear. He and the team speculated on why she’s so intent on hiding her name and location. Probably has something to do with her first group.

“I’m not gonna ask for your location. You know I wouldn’t but if they are using explosives along with fighting… you might get hurt.” She could get hurt, she could die, she could get burned from the explosive. When Ghost was describing it to them earlier when he saw the explosion in the distance Soap looked worried. Soap knows his bombs, he’s a demolitions expert Goddamnit. “Please… darling, you gotta tell us if it gets too hard and you’re not safe.” He says softly, using that pleading voice that gets even Price to stumble sometimes.

“I… Well, I’m safe for now, I guess. There’s a couple building near me that has some insignias on it. Most likely to mark territories.”

“What do they look like?”

“One has what looks like a black bird and the other looks like cross.”

“Bird and cross” Ghost murmurs beside Soap. They tense when she’s about to speak but they hear a faint crash on the line. It doesn’t sound like a radio crashing but something akin to glass. “Bonnie! What’s goin on?!”

————————————————————

Voices outside causes her to freeze. The hairs on her back standing up as she listens in to what they are saying. She… she recognizes those voices. Her focused snapped back to her radio as the Scott is still speaking to her. “Bonnie!” Static yells into the radio. She curses as she zips up her backpack and putting the sling of her rifle over her shoulder. “I’m fine, Static!” She tries to say more but the sound of something slamming against wood is heard from outside the breakroom she’s barricaded in.

There’s a voice yelling outside and they’re calling out to her. Calling out a name. A name that he gave her. A name that isn’t her own but forced on her. “No, no, no,” stammering as the men on the radio are still trying to figure out what’s wrong.

“I-I think I’ve been found.” She says weakly. That voice outside making her skin crawl, memories flashing through her as her heart pounds. She put so much space between her and that group. How did they find her? She’s been so careful and cautious these last 4 months. She needs to move; she needs to leave and go. God, why can’t she move?

“Sunny, wait, darling please.” Electricity says, he sounds nervous, scared even and her heart clenches at the sound. “What does that mean? Who found you?”

————————————————————

“Handmaidens Tale.” The men all tense when she says the name. She has only ever mentioned them briefly, Soap tried to get her to speak a bit more on it the second week in, but she shut it down fast. She’s more scared, more scared than shes ever sounded. Gaz and Soap look to Price as they don’t know what to do.

The man sighs and takes the radio. “Can you get somewhere safe? Do you have a weapon?” Price says, he was planning to speak to her when the time was right but now? Now he doesn’t have a choice. “Breath, love.”

A pregnant pause that has them all on edge, fearing the worst until she speaks. “Y-You're with Static and Electricity, right? The uh Captain?” She has overheard him before, faintly but she recognized him since Soap has said it before that the voice is owned by their Captain.

“Yes, love. Listen to me.” Experience in his voice, “Estimate up to 6 people, assume guns and weapons on hand with them. They’re most likely surveying the perimeter. You can hide or you can fight.” His eyebrows crease as he speaks.

He doesn’t like this. Doesn’t like the clench in his chest when he tries to imagine her, scared and fearful. He knows all too well what fear can do to a soldier, but she isn’t a soldier. A regular civilian and that makes this situation ten times worst. At least with soldiers they are trained to compartmentalize. To work through the adrenaline and fear. She doesn’t know how to.

“Okay, okay, I-I might be ab-” She gasps when they hear something breaking. Something loud enough that the radio catches it for all the men to hear.

————————————————————

“No, no, no, please,” The window in the room she’s barricaded in is shattered as her scream alerted the people that’s looking for her. The brick thrown in has a note attached that says in scrawled-out words. Found You, My Eve.

She can hear them just outside. “T-They found me. He found me. They broke the window.” She says to the radio as she clambers to get the barricade away from the door. Maybe she can run and get away? “Oh god, oh god, I-I can’t go back. I don’t want to go back.” Her blood runs cold as she tries to breathe deeply. The radio shaking as she talks to the Captain. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

The weapons she has are momentarily forgotten as she gets the barricades off and runs down the hall. Her backpack on as her bat swings back and forth almost like it’s trying to remind her that she has it. Her fathers rifle slung to her side from the strap on her shoulder as her hand grips her radio. She can hear the Captain speaking again. Trying to calm her down to get her to think but she’s in a blind panic. The fear of what she went through and what she’ll go through if that group takes her. She hears the shoutings. “Found her! She’s on the run!” And “Don’t let her escape! Grab her!”

Panting as she runs down the street. Weaving between cars and narrowly passing the dead as her heart pounds and slams against her chest. Running into a bank as she goes behind the couches there. Not even bothering to look for any deads that could be in there as she strains to hear for the voices outside. His voice.

The Captain on the radio still speaking. “We need a description, sweetheart. Can you give us a description? Look around you. Try to think. Don’t be scared, being scared is going to cause you to make mistakes.” Too late, far too late for that.

“Look…” the man pauses, “you’re going to get caught,” she whimpers and hits her head against the couch. Her knees tensing at the statement because as much as she wants to deny it, but she knows it’s going to happen. “I need you to focus and I need you to describe them to me. I need you to describe where you are? Can you do that for me?”

“Y-Yes, I.. I can,” She whispers as she speaks between breathes. Her eyes shut tight when the front door to the bank jingles open from the bell. Alerting her to the very real situation that is going to happen. So many memories flooding her brain as her boot taps nervously on the floor.

“I-I ran into a bank near Humble. There are birds and crosses spray painted on buildings and I-“ she bites her lip when she can hear the desks being tossed. She should’ve tried to hide somewhere else. Why didn’t she think to hide in one of the rooms? Why is it so hard for her to think straight? “I’m scared. I’m sorry, I’m sorry I never got to see you.”

“Don’t say that. You’re going to see us. I swear you will.”

She’s about to respond, her mouth parted when she hears a cruel laugh from where she’s hiding. Her hands shake as she finally grabs her knife. She knows that laugh, she hates it. Hates the man that laughs like that. Her hand grips her radio as she readies herself to try and work through the fear and describe the man to the Captain. The couch is forced aside as she screams and lurches forward.

Scrambling to get up as she clutches her knife and radio. “B-Brown hair, white skin, eye patch on left eye, green eye, tall,” she words off the man’s description as the man grins and licks his lips like a wolf would a cornered rabbit. “His name is Issac.” She breathes out shakily as she takes one last glance and speaks. “Don’t let him keep me again. Come find me.”

Holding her radio in hand as she backs up. She knows she’s cornered from the way the man is so calm. Someone breaking the glass window with the note was most likely to flush her out. Most likely to cause her to panic. She curses under her breath as she has to assume that there’s others around the building. A tilt of his head as he shows his teeth in his smile. “There you are, my Eve. I’ve missed you. Had me so, so worried.” He takes a step forward as she backs away. “Who were you talking to?” His voice colder as his eyes lock on the radio she has on hand.

The Captain talking urgently on the radio that she can’t even hear since she’s focusing on the man in front of her. He extends his hand, “You won’t be needing that anywhere. Give it.” Flight or fight kicks in as she bolts down the hall of the bank. The man follows after her with a yell. Rounding a corner as a hand grips the back of her shirt as she screams.

Swiping her knife at him as she turns and aims for his arm. He curses loudly, “You little!” His arm bleeding as he slams his hand against her head. Her head hitting the wall causing the wall to crack on impact. Head-shaped crater in the wall as she feels dizzy. Distorted as she stumbles back and crumbles to the floor.

The sound of the man on the radio still trying to talk, promising to find her, is just out of reach from when she fell. Issac walks to her, nearly infront of her as he’s speaking and saying something. Her ears still buzzing as she blinks. Her breath catching as she looks up at him. Scooting back as her blood is pumping fast, her pulse nearly jumping out her skin.

She looks to her radio, then towards her knife that fell out of her grip when she was slammed against the wall. She makes a split-second decision and lunges for her knife. He laughs at her feeble attempt. His boot slamming on her hand as she tries to grab her knife and she cries out.

He makes a disappointed tut, “A good husband never hurts his wife but…” he stares down at her as she tries to shove his boot off and he only presses more on her hand making her whimper. “A good husband also shows his wife her wrongs and how to be a good help meet again.” He lifts his boot and slams it on her face.

Turning on her side with a groan. Her hand covering her now bruising face as tears spill down her face. Coughing and hiccuping as she tries to think past the pain. The pain in her face throbbing as her nose bleeds. “N-No,” she begs as the man bends as he grabs the radio. The Captain getting louder and angrier as he tries to speak to her. Cruelly only able to listen and do nothing but hear what happened. A listening witness to the assault.

“And who has been keeping my wife company?” Issac speaks coldly, a possessiveness in his tone as he stares at the woman that looks up fearfully. A bruise already growing on her face.

“Captain John Price. Where is she? If you hur-“

“That’s none of your concern. She’s mine and she’ll stay mine, Captain.” He mocks. He looks down at her and then at the radio.

“You’ll never find her.” He laughs and throws the radio away. She yells “No!” as she watches as her radio thumps hard against the wall and breaks when it hits the floor. He goes to grab her but she kicks and tries to get up. Grabbing at her collar as her hands push and scratch against his face. Her fingers digging into his eye patch as he growls in pain. Finally having enough of her antics as he balls his fist and punches her hard at the side of her head.

Going limp at the impact, her hands falling to the side of her head. A tear rolling down her face as she tries to hear what he’s saying before blacking out. Dragging her body a lil before he finally picks her up. Whistling to his men and tossing her in a car.

Her arms and legs bound tightly with rope when she finally came to. Screaming and yelling as she tried to get out of the car and away. The rope digging into her skin almost as painfully as the throb from her face. Trying to bite until someone hits her in the back of the head with the butt of his gun. “Finally,” one of Issac’s men says as she’s now easier to handle with her being knocked out again.

————————————————————

“Fuck!” Price slams his fist against the wall. All of his boys are ready, Ghost already jumped up and started packing their car as soon as that Issac spoke to them. Gaz and Soap are standing up as Price looks at them. Both of them have murder on their mind and an itch to have blood spilled. For once Soap is quiet and Gaz looks volatile.

“Weapons free from this point on. Find any that are involved and get information out of them.” Price’s voice is rough, “Whatever means necessary.” Staring down at the radio, their only lifeline to their girl and now they won’t even be able to reach her. His hands fisted as he sees that it’s bloody from when he punched the wall. What he would give to have punched this Issac fellow. His chest heaving with anger as he steels himself. His men already moving with urgency to head out. Gaz grabbing the map so they can find Humble. And hopefully… find her.

“Let’s go get our girl.”

[luzisahomosexual]

Guess who’s about to start reading The Foxhole Court🤭

Despite everything I’ve heard of about this book (& the other 2 books in the series) I have absolutely no clue wtf it’s about. All ik is it’s really fucking sad. I heard it was queer, angsty & included murder & instantly brought it.

So I’m either gonna reblog this post a bunch with my thoughts as I read, reblog occasionally or completely forget I made this post…

Edit: was just about to sit down on the couch & I stepped in dog piss…so it’s going great so far💪

2 chapters in & I’m inlove with this book. Also if anything bad happens to Wymack (or if he turns out to be a dick somehow) I’ll actually riot.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

HOLY FUCK WHAT THE FUCK HELLO?!? WTF IS HOING ON RN

Just finished chapter 8 I’m very unsure how I should be feeling🙏

I’ve decided I wanna read this trilogy without looking up spoilers wich basically means that I’m gonna have to read all 3 as soon as possible & just be purely addicted to reading for the best 2-3 days🫡

K im Like 1/3 into the Raven king and I’m loving ittttt oml- kinda want more murder & violence tho ngl, got a feeling that’s gonna be books 3’s strong suit tho

YOOOO SOMETHING GAY JUST HAPPENED. If this is going where I think it is they I love these books more than I already did.

Oh.

When I said I wanted more murder and violence that isn’t what I ment…

Just finished the second book and holy fucking shit what the goddamn fuck exuse me??????

ANOTHER GAY THING HAPPENED ACCEPT THIS TIME IT WAS VERY MUCH MORE GAY LETS GOOOO💪

Istg if that countdown is till his dad gets released from prison or something…

I knew these books were gonna be rlly fucking painful to read but for some reason I was convinced it would have a happy (ish) ending…just finished chapter twelve of the kings men and now I’m scared…

Finished the trilogy and omg these were 3 of the best books I’ve ever read holy shit they are masterpieces.

[when-the-spagheddie-hits-the-fan]

I'm in the BIT Club (IT Book Club)

Each week we read a certain amount of the book and I have thoughts and feelings about IT *Ba Dum Tss*

Warning: There are Spoilers

Week 1

Ch. 1

   I really liked being in Georgie’s perspective, and the whole time he’s describing the basement I kept hearing the Jaws *dun dun* because of future events and just having the knowledge I have from the Miniseries, Movies (and Musical), like, dude, you have no idea how right you are! And that turtle wax made me go, “omg, does Stephen King even realize what he did there?!” and it’s like “yeah, ya goof.”

   Georgie and Bill’s relationship was so siblings. People don’t always write siblings being assholes to each other while also showing that they care about each other. I think the butthole jokes weirdly show that off the best, and Georgie is so cute about Bill saying “shitty butthole” — very little kid of him.   Also, when Georgie kisses Bill on the cheek and Bill tells Georgie to be careful before leaving, I never thought it was weird while watching the other media, so when it was pointed out how unusual it was it got me thinking about why did they do it that time? Was it the turtle or was it just one of those moments that really stands out to you because it was the last time you saw that person and it ended in tragedy or was it something else completely? 

   Something that really surprised me was that an adult “saw” what happened and actually went to go check on Georgie. Any other time I’ve seen this scene it almost always cuts away right after Georgie is attacked so I had no idea. Plus adults suck, so anytime they aren't it’s always wild to me.

Ch. 2

   This chapter is so brutal, obviously. But like, fuck, dude. What adds to the harshness of it all is like this shit has happened and can still happen. My heart felt so disgusted by what those homophobic pricks were doing. And the hopelessness of Don crying out for anyone to help, and running back to Adrian and not being able to anything was so sad and sickening.

   And with Pennywise showing up to finish off Adrian I find myself thinking, not at the time but looking back on it, Pennywise is not as bad as those jackwagons. Is that weird to think? I mean, Pennywise is a murder-crazed space clown god thing, what are those scum sucking fuckwads excuses?

   Something I found interesting is how kinda neutral the cops were? ACAB and all that, but I thought they were gonna be evil and that’s that. But no. Sure they aren’t supportive of the gays but they didn’t go out of their way to fuck with them, and one stopped the first altercation and told the warthog sniffers to fuck off. Again ACAB and at the end of the day they are, but I was kinda thrown for a loop when they weren’t vile creatures.

   On a happier note; the Elmer Curtie part was really funny. Man has a successful gay bar in a small, homophobic town and it takes him 4yrs, give or take, to realize it. Amazing! And when he figures it out he’s like, “Most of my patrons are polite, I never have to pay for damages because girls aren't an issue, and I’m making money?? I see only positives!” Also, it’s totally canon that he ships Don and Adrian.

Ch. 3

   This was a hefty chapter, and my favorite out of the 3 for this week. For a chapter as a whole; I liked the back and forth of who was narrating for each Loser’s parts (other person, that loser, other person, that loser, other person, that loser), and a thought I’m sure no one has had before; IT should really be a TV Series. Chapter 1 and 2 could easily be their own episode, and each of the Losers’ sections could be their own episode too!

   Stan- Okay, starting off strong and sad. Really surprised that Stan is first, and we’re in Patty’s head. I learned way more about Patty than I ever did with the Miniseries and Movies combined. I mean in total her screen is like what? Over 5mins?

   The people need to know that puzzles are Patty’s thing! I repeat, girl has hobbies away from Staniel!!

   That part about her not being allowed in that high society club dance, describing her beautiful dress that made her look like a mermaid, the sound that her heels made on the gravel when walking back to the car, the laughing she hears and how that will affect her even years from now, that shit is crushing. And her and Stan's relationship is so nice and sweet. She doesn’t always get him, but she loves him so much, and they’re each other's person. He’s gentle with her for their first time. I made an audible “awww” when Patty said, “Don’t hurt me, dear.” and he said, “I will never hurt you.” Then the moment got ruined with remembering what’s gonna happen, but I digress.

  So when Patty goes to check on Stan, again, it’s way longer. The one thing that really stood out to me is that she notices all the unusual things Stan is doing, things that he never really does but it’s nothing that she feels like she needs to bring up with him. And then it’s too late, and those out of place things are just playing over and over again in her head. It got me thinking about Georgie's chapter. The kiss and the concerned warning that the brothers do for the last time they would ever see each other. And how it stands out to them but they say nothing about it, and thoughts of these mistakes and what they should have done will stay with (sadly only) Bill forever. And now with Patty. Fuck.

   Two things I can now confidently say now about Stan is he’s autistic and the man fucks!

   This is such a little piece and I haven’t read the whole book so technically the whole picture isn’t there, but Stan is autistic. The way he talks and interacts with people, he’s logical and doesn’t feel the need to explain himself. ‘Cause why would he? He’s right. Speaking as a person that also falls on the spectrum, reading this little bit about Stan at least makes me go, “Hmmm, gonna file that for later.” Also, and I really wish this wasn’t the case, I really appreciate having Stan not come off as cold and heartless. He jokes around and clearly loves his wife. Almost like he's a person and not some broken robot. What a concept!

   On a hornier note, Stan likes sex. The Miniseries understood that. It’s so great that when they leave the clinic, Stan's first words are, “I never do”, and then clarifies, “Think about procreation during.” Noice. I don’t know; I just really like knowing that the dude fucks and he likes it.

   On a final note; I’m interested in finding out why he remembers more than any other losers. Like, I know but I’m curious to see how the book will explain it.

   Richie- Richie has ADD/ADHD!

   From the need to play music (the louder the better) to either help him focus or distract him.

All those voices he does, him wanting to please the people he talks to, and not wanting to say or show what he’s actually feeling or thinking? That is so masking!

   I know with every character there are a lot of thoughts going on in their heads, but Richie’s on a different level. Not only does he have a lot of thoughts, but he’s also talking to a lot of people, using multiple voices, and he’s quick on his feet when on the spot. Plus I know he has the gift of gab (aka never shuts the fuck up), he’s moving around a lot, and he’s keeps getting distracted with little things going on around him. His brain is all over the place.

   Imma call it; Richie wasn’t bullied for his glasses (I mean he was but shush); he was bullied because he has ADD/ADHD! Kids don’t need to know what it is to spot it and hate you for it. Talking from experience as an ADD kid (or that weird annoying girl).

   It’s really sad that the main memories that he remembers is the bullying, the names they called him, and getting beat up.

   I’m glad he had friends that loved and cared about him.

   Also, holy crap! Richie said, “You bet your fur” first!

   Ben- …Okay, real talk? Ben’s part was so funny! I already brought up that the amount of times Ricky Lee’s name was so fucking funny to me here, but the waitress, the lemons, and the amount of stress Ben was giving Ricky Lee was really funny.

   Of course I feel bad for Ben but to be in Ricky Lee’s POV is really something special!

   Sorry, not that much to say. I guess something to add is Ben needs therapy (no duh). In this case I’m talking about his body image issues, and for what he put his body through and I bet is still doing to look “perfect.”

   Eddie- I don’t think I have to bring up examples on why Sonia sucks and is a terrible mother; you saw all the words about her.

   Everything that was shown about Eddie wasn’t surprising. I think reading the source really showed me the fights that he has with himself might be his biggest problem (those words come from his mother but you get it) And I really like that you can tell, even through all his fear, that Eddie is a capable person and is very brave.

   Also, I was expecting Eddie to have a long list about everything he takes but, good lord, that list really did go on forever.

   I don’t know how fans feel about this, considering all the fanfics I read I think I’m really in the minority, but I don’t think Myra is abusive?? At worst, I think she kinda manipulates Eddie into feeling bad and getting her way but like I don’t know, it feels like she’s fucked up like Eddie but in a different way, they both seem to be stuck in this life. Even what I said about the worst seems a bit too much. I actually feel bad for her. I’m really surprised because, again, all the fanfics I’ve read, things I’ve seen online talking about her and Sonia’s similarities, and I guess the little snippet from the second movie shaped my original opinion about her.

   And can I just say, I hate how Stephen King describes fat people. He makes it seem like the biggest sin a person can have is being fat. Like, “Of course they're a bad person. Didn’t you see how big they are? I mean how could you not?! Fat people are so gross!” I just — it makes me uncomfortable. Especially ‘cause, oh I don’t know, BEN! Let’s see how that goes.

   Bev- This is really brutal. Besides Bev beating the ever-loving shit out of Tom and scream-laughing like the beautiful mad lady she is when she's outside, my overall favorite part is how Tom is able to sound cruel and vile but also show just how pathetic and dumb he really is.

   He really is a top tier abuser with no skills of his own, and has the mind of a whiny child. I hope his balls exploded into bloody nothings, and the wounds Bev gave him never heal and he’s unable to cover them so he never forgets what happened and his outside matches his insides. (btw scars are cool and okay but fuck this turd)

   I’m glad Bev found her strength again.

   Bill- I learned you can do anything if you have the unjustified confidence of a white man. I wanted to say that college Bill was being really egotistical, but what the fuck do I know? It worked out great for him. 

   Seriously though, I’m trying really hard not to jump the gun but I know that book adult Bill sucks and the live action adult Bills don’t. And overall Bill seems okay in his section buuuut, I don’t know; I’ll keep trying to take in the book without my prior knowledge.

   I like Audra, and finding out how they met. I think it’s sweet that you wouldn’t think they would have ended up together but they really do seem to love each other. And Audra really seems to care about him. What a nice, good lady. Sure would be a shame if Bill became human trash and taints what they have.

[morningstargirl666]

When is The Big Bad Wolf Act 2 coming out?? Are you going to release monthly or all at once?? (I just finished the series and I’m in love 🩷🩷 no rush to write, just wondering if you have an idea because you have loyal readers waiting to love it!!! Have a great day <3)

Hello! Lovely to meet you and thank you so much for reading, that fic is a BEAST. So glad you enjoyed it!

So. When is the next update coming out? [nervous laughter]

Thing is, I told myself now I'm halfway i'll go back and edit, smooth things out before this fic literally becomes too long to tackle and that kinda...turned into a full rewrite?

I'm not changing the plot. That's exactly the same. But my ideas for the lore have changed since I first started writing and I wanted to add in a whole lot more of characterisation and set up for the chapters to come. I rewrote The Little Wolf back in December and recently did some tweaking to chapter 5 of it just this last week (I couldn't work out how to fix it when I first did the rewrite but I had an EPHIPHANY okay). So The Little Wolf is around 35k now, which is a huge difference to the 11k it was in November when I posted chapter 35 of tbbw. It's got tons of new scenes, a sharper forcus on the Mikaelson siblings not just Klaus and two whole new chapters. Of course, you've probably already read that as it is posted and you're a new reader, but that's what I was doing before Christmas, essentially.

As for The Big Bad Wolf itself...boy, where do I start. I'm approaching 85k on the rewrite...only on chapter 7. Which technically used to be chapter 6, because I got 5 chapters in before I added a new chapter. I guess that's a record for my restraint, at least.

So, in terms of what's happening: I'm re-writing tbbw. The plot isn't changing, but new scenes are being added, conversations are being tweaked, the lore is being more consistently fleshed out. Grammar for dialogue is being given a complete overhaul because that was a mess. But. Listen. It's so much better. It's so fucking better. I re-read the chapters I've done and in some places, the drafts aren't quite finished yet, like my writer brain is like fix this later BUT omg it's like, THE shit. It's so good. I've very excited.

I'm not sure how long it will take to finish. I might be able to stop halfway and post the rewritten/edited chapters I've got so far but I make no promises because I feel more inclined to keep going and get it all done in one. Some chapters won't need much work at all as they've been more heavily edited in the past (chapter 8 and 9 should be done pretty quickly, just giving them a facelift), while others I'm really ripping into. There's one chapter I know I'll either delete or delete scenes from to be replaced with something else (don't worry, the scenes will go into my deleted scenes fic on ao3, it's not gone forever).

So yeah. At the rate I'm going, I'm not gonna lie, it may take till the summer before I get all this editing done AND finish the new chapter 36 update - and you may get two new chapters at once, because it might be a long one and I might split it. But by the end of it, tbbw won't be 378k anymore. It'll probably be closer 450k. So you'll get a 50k+ update (along with some bonus stuff) to the whole fic and then a week later I'll post the new chapters (I used to post fornightly, a chapter every two weeks, and I'll go back to that when I'm done).

But yeah. I've written like, 110k since December, which for context is is closing in on the equivalent of the second book of TLOTR trilogy: The Return of the King was 137,115 words. That's an epic novel's worth. In three months.

An arguement could be made that I'm making this fic way too long but I don't really care? I love writing this. It makes my head spin and makes me tear my hair out but...it's so much fun too. And I get to rewrite canon, the way it should have been (we were so ROBBED 😭😭😭), so hey! It's free therapy too! I'm not going to stop as long as I'm loving every second.

Thanks for reading, and thank for listening to my insane plans! Hopefully, I'll see you there on ao3 when this fic is back for business!!

-And it WILL be back.

[the-pjo-analyst]

Chapter 20 - I Battle My Jerk Relative

Theme of the day: War

Y’all I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna finish these last few chapters before the tv show comes out!! This year really didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to go but by the gods I’ll have at least one goal done no matter how skewed it got 😅 I was really like I’ll be able to read all the Olympus series in a year sjkdfhsd shit happens.

On to the chapter, “war” seems a bit self explanatory since this is when Percy confronts Ares. While Ares isn’t the one to have formed the idea of pitting the Big Three against each other, but he’s enticed by the idea of WWIII, a three-way war. Luke was lucky that it was Ares who caught him, since he probably was the easiest of the Olympians to manipulate (like hey... you could turn me in or you could let me go and start a giant war 😏). It really was a brilliant plan, as I said in my last chapter post, because it takes advantage of the Olympians’ weaknesses and paranoia. And the only way for it to go wrong was for a child to complete his quest against all odds despite having to 1) trek across the country, 2) face countless monsters, 3) thwart trickery from evil masterminds, and 4) trek across the country again. Percy really had very low chances to make it out alive. But he also lives off of spite and proving people wrong lol.

It’s interesting how each pjo book up until the final one is about Percy delaying a war in some way (kinda a theme with Riordan’s books lmao). The start of the chapter shows the beginnings of war with Hades’ army starting to rise up from the Underworld, causing massive earthquakes and fires and general chaos. Like a harbinger of a greater battle. In the immediate sense, it’s a taste of what could happen if an Olympic civil war occurs, but it’s also a bit of foreshadowing to the actual war that will take place in the future. Just like this whole book, it’s setting up what’s to come.

Continuing on that theme, Percy’s battle with Ares really culminates everything he’s learned on how to fight so far, and it sets the stage for what the readers should expect the rest of his battles to go in the series. It makes me think of the final climax of The Last Olympian, how Percy chooses to use his brain and his heart rather than his brawn against Luke, because those are the things that truly matter in the end. In this case, while Percy does use his strength and demigod powers, the reason he wins against Ares is because he uses his intelligence. It really correlates his battle with Echidna, since at that point he didn’t have enough experience to fight with more than just instincts. Actually since St. Louis, Percy has had to rely on his brain when confronting enemies, maybe that encounter influenced him to do that more. And with Ares, he finds that just his instincts doesn’t cut it. He forms a strategy vs Ares’ brute force. Percy even remembers Annabeth’s words from an earlier chapter: “Ares has strength. That’s all he has. Even strength has to bow to wisdom sometimes.” Like the old saying, the pen is mightier than the sword! Which is really ironic in this context lmao. Speaking of irony, it’s funny how Luke’s advice on how to sword fight helps Percy in his battle. The very man behind the robbery and evil plot being a reason Percy survives this quest lol. I know it’s addressed in hoo, but it’s strange how Ares is all brute force and no strategy, because the latter is such a huge part of war?? And it’s not like the ancient Greeks didn’t use strategy in their battles. But ig that’s what Athena is for 🤔

Other ways war and its effects is sprinkled in the chapter without an actual war in bullets bc I’m too tired to fully analyze these very sad things:

Percy mourning losing his mom (again)

Percy compartmentalizing his grief to focus on his mission

Despite winning his battle, Percy not feeling very victorious but instead feeling drained bc there’s no true winner for those in a war

Moving on to something a bit opposite, I can’t not talk about Annabeth giving Percy her camp necklace. Two people, potential enemies, reconciling as Annabeth says. The act is a physical symbol of Annabeth’s words from ch 16 (moreso than the oreos lol). She’s showing how she’s truly on Percy’s side, setting aside an ancient rivalry. In the face of war, Annabeth will fight with Percy and not against him. Kinda mirrors their moment in Blood of Olympus under the Parthenon doesn’t it? 🥹💖

Small things:

Can you believe a child taunted a literal god and the god fell for it

Like Ares could’ve been you’re beneath me and let him feel the wrath of Hades but instead he was like y’know what Ima fight this kid. he called me a coward.

Percy attributes his ability to observe things with his ADHD so ig that is a demigod trait. But he is extremely good at it.

Previous: Chapter 19 - We Find Out the Truth, Sort Of

Next: Chapter 21 - I Settle My Tab

[cjbolan]

 Just finished Chapter 1 of Emily Windsnap and the Tides of Time. My thoughts so far...

I feel you, Emily. I’m sad too that your adventures are probably over.

Liz Kessler throws MAJOR shade at teachers XD. Perhaps she’s writing from personal experience. I literally laughed at some of the descriptions of Emily’s teacher. Particularly this line:

“’Succinctly as always, Aiden,’ Mrs. Porter said, in that special sarcastic way that teachers must learn at college, as they all do it.”

As a former student teacher, I can confirm she’s absolutely right.

This opening is like a clever inverse version of the first book’s opening. Both open with Emily at home in Brightport having a conversation with her mom, before going to school.Except where the first book opened with them having an argument, this last book opens with them being much friendlier with each other. Shows how far their relationship has come. I love that!

There’s also shades of Book 3 that I liked. It again opens with Emily going to school, and Emily afraid of a relationship ending. In Book 3 it was her parents’ marriage, here it’s her renewed friendship with Mandy. I do like the idea that for once, maybe it’s Emily’s own fault that she feels alone, for not being a good listener to her friend. 

I love the emphasis that being yourself is much easier said than done. IRL people say all the time that they don’t care what people think or that they’ll do whatever they want, then quickly give up doing exactly that. This isn’t always a bad thing, and heavily dependent on your situation. It makes perfect sense in Emily’s case where she now has 0 friends in school and possible enemies.  (SIDE NOTE: I do relate hard to Emily in this case. At her age, for a time I had only 1 real friend. We’re still friends now ^_^. )

YAAAAAY MORE RETCONNING *sarcasm*. Seems like Emily is attending only human school. What happened to her splitting her time between human and mermaid school? Wasn’t her school situation a huge looming conflict for about half the series? It was a huge point of conflict for her parents who fought each other about where she should spend more time, to the point it made Emily fear they would split up. If she were still attending Shiprock School, she probably  wouldn’t miss the sea and Shona so much because she could still enjoy those every day. I know Emily's feeling lonely because of Aaron and Mandy, but still...either Emily’s being overdramatic, or she really did quit mermaid school for some reason.

Jake again raises so many questions. We know he eats human food, so can all merpeople eat human food? Or is Jake the only one because he’s lived with humans and got used to it? What do you think his first time tasting human food would’ve been like? That breakfast table is way above water level so... does her ever eat with his family?  It’d be really sad if he couldn’t. Does he have a floating pool table? Does he eat off the floor? Would his family ever eat off the floor with him? Is there any way he could have a wheelchair or kiddie pool for him at the table?  For a mixed human-merperson family who actively brought together the two species, how on earth would they host both species in a place designed by and for humans only? Trap door aside, the merpeople who do visit are just trapped in that tiny bit of water, and the humans make 0 attempt to bring their activities closer to the water for merpeople to join them. And Jake is often described looking upward at people in that boat...he must have the worst neck pain ever. He deserves a nice neck pillow. Or maybe a neck massage XD.

But seriously, this is one reason Jake is one of my favorite characters. He  raises so many fascinating questions about the worldbuilding.

Funny I have a rock that looks just like Emily’s! Minus 2 stripes...

Well, gonna keep on reading!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I’m so fucking tired, the switch to being a morning person is wild. I’ve never been that girlie and I never thought I could be but I’m loving my new job so far. Literally couldn’t be happier, I’m sure as it goes I’ll find things I may not enjoy but so far it’s been amazing. But again this was my first week and I don’t know shit yet. Enough about that, writing wise I’m so sorry I’m super behind. I’m still determined to keep weekly updates for the sibling verse, (delaying posting cause I’m supporting Palestine.) But I want to do multiple updates and at the very least give Vordark my beloved the weekly updates. But I’m too tired to try and write right now, so it’ll have to wait till tomorrow or maybe even Sunday. I’ve been working like nonstop the past three weeks and I don’t even have my Pens to keep me energized. Don’t even get me started on irl relationships with people, I’m still upset. But yeah I’m hoping to be on it soon

Update: dreaming up yet another shinshi verse I can’t write cause I have too many WIPs and I just can’t. But I’m hoping to start the next chapter of the sibling verse before I have to actually get up and ready!

Update 2: I started the next chapter of the sibling verse but had to do some errands and now I’m tired again. I’m gonna nap then watch the mean girls movie then hopefully finish the chapter. We shall see (I did finish the chapter!). Alright, I should have the full day today besides football and airport run way late. So I’m hoping to pick back up on the valentines event, then midnight rain, then the pov series that’s taken me too damn long already to start *sigh but also I would like to read one of my book books too. I’m feeling so behind in everything, and while it’s cause I’ve been so busy. I just wish I could be more on top of things, but I’m only human and it’s been very exhausting existing lately. Most of it is still very filling and I really do truly love my new job but there’s so much I have to learn!

Update 3: irl continues to be a lot. I did not get to go about my day off the way I wanted. It ended up being way stressful, but on the bright side I booked another trip cause of course I did. Okay now I’m gonna try and write. The curse of my main character energy continues, please just let me live my filler episode dreams!!! 😭😭😭

I’m halfway through with the valentine event I think, and idk why I’m exhausted. But I guess I’ve had a long week and today was a lot also. I’m gonna take a nap before I have to go to the airport and pick someone up. Idk if I’ll get more writing done after, and any tomorrow but I will try. At the very least, I’m going to update either the sibling verse or midnights. I believe I’m caught up on comments now, I love when I get to read fics! But now it’s time for bed cause unfortunately I need to be a morning person. One more day off but it’s going to be very busy with rl stuff again *sigh hoping I get some writing done but I’m not holding my breath. Now excuse me while I continue to dream about this fic I have no intention of writing, it’s another memory loss one cause of course it is

Update 4: I’m about to go to sleep cause I need to be a morning person (yes I’m going to keep talking about this until it actually happens) but I think I’m done with the valentines event! Super short chapters so it wasn’t that hard to do, but I’m just glad I got it done! Now I can go back to working on my projects I wanna do once I get used to my schedule. Also I ended up updating the sibling verse instead of midnights cause of my time stamp thing, but I will try again tomorrow

[nflstreetsanimereviews]

Oregairu Volume 14.5 Review

Oregairu Volume 14.5 is the eighteenth official entry into the Oregairu light novel series, with it being the fourth volume dedicated to telling short stories (the others being volumes 7.5, 6.5, and 10.5. If you’re wondering why I put 7.5 first…well, it’s a long story(sort of)). This volume is supposed to be the ‘final’, but considering that Wataru Watari has also spent his time writing more side stories (Oregairu Shin and Oregairu Ketsu), I wouldn’t be surprised if he changes his mind on that. Either way, I’m gonna just go with the flow and treat this volume as the series finale of Oregairu.

Volume 14.5 includes five stories–the first two taking place during the New Year's holidays (Volume 10 in the light novel and Episode 10 of Season 2 of the anime), and the last three after Volume 14 (the end of Season 3). The first two chapters are fundamentally the same, both containing Komachi talking to Hachiman about who she wants her ‘future sister-in-law’ to be. Chapter three involves the Hikigaya siblings along with Yui, Yukino, Iroha, and Tobe going to a music festival (apparently a ‘rewritten script of a roleplay in OreGairu Fes 2019’). Chapter four is also short, with Hachiman and Iroha having a brief chat about the new school year. Chapter five, the final story, is by far the most important story of the bunch, with it taking half of the book’s pages. 

Chapter five contains several acts, all involving how Hachiman and friends are adapting to the new school year. Komachi, now the chairman of the Service Club, has to decide which direction she wants to go with the club–every other member besides her will graduate at the end of the year, which would leave her the sole member (Iroha still isn’t an official member). In typical Oregairu fashion, Hachiman has melancholic thoughts about how Komachi will be able to handle herself alone after he, Yukino, and (hopefully) Yui go to university. We also get to accompany Hachiman and Yukino on a coffee date–ensuring those that YES, they, in fact, ARE dating. 

There really isn’t a lot to talk about in relation to the contents–the fact of the matter is that the main storyline in Oregairu is over, and thankfully this volume doesn’t pretend that it isn’t. As with most of Oregairu, most of this novel is Hachiman and friends talking to one another. Nothing that happens in this entry affects the overarching story. Your enjoyment of Volume 14.5 will depend on how much you enjoyed the series overall. Anime-only enjoyers can also read this entry and not be left out on anything.

One complaint I had about Volume 14.5 is its brief length. Clocking in at 142 pages, it should only take you about two hours to read through it. Light novels aren’t the longest thing, I know, but it’s a bit underwhelming when you compare it to Volume 14, which is exactly 200 pages longer (the Yen Press physical edition is at least). Volume 14 is on the other spectrum when it comes to light novel lengths, I can’t help but feel a bit short-changed–especially since both novels are at the same price point. Oregairu is my favorite light novel (and anime) series, but I could’ve waited a little longer for something more fulfilling, especially since the main story is over.

Those more in the know will know that Oregairu has had a significant amount of side stories written after Volume 14 was finished. Oregairu Shin, which is supposed to be a ‘continuation’, was a bonus included with each Season 3 Blu-ray. Whether any of it is canon remains dubious (to me at least). There’s also Oregairu Ketsu, a continuation of the ANOTHER series, a series of mini-novels included with the Season 2 Blu-rays. ANOTHER was basically the ‘Yui ending’, with Ketsu being the continuation of it. Of course, these mini-novels are not canon–but that doesn’t stop people from bitching about Watari ‘ruining’ the series. That’s something that I’d rather not get into right now though. 14.5 is a separate entity from both of these. With all of these side stories, it does get a little bit confusing at times, but let’s be honest: Would it really be the Oregairu series if it was straightforward?

Volume 14.5 is a quiet entry to the series, not shaking anything up too much. At eleven dollars, it might be a bit steep for what you’re getting, but anime fans have spent way more for less. If anything, it can be a show of appreciation for the series. To be honest, I have a sneaking suspicion that this isn’t the last mainline entry to the series, but that’s pure speculation for now.

60/100

[ma-lark-ey]

Lark Liveblogs Lit episode 4(?): The Mortal Instruments

Here’s what I know going into it;

Magnus & Alec are endgame, Alec walks away from his marriage???? Very dramatically to kiss Magnus. I, originally, thought these two were reversed but my mate corrected me.

It’s (roughly???) inspired by her old Draco Trilogy (which I did track down and download, will read eventually) and shares the name with a Ron/Ginny fic (which I read. Mortal Instrument was a very fitting title)

And that’s literally all I know before hand;

Unlike the Harry Potter post, I’ll add my thoughts whilst reading and not just completely after finishing. I will still do the entire series post-mortum on each book, though.

City of Bones; (3/11/23)

Alec is EASILY my favorite. I figured it’d be Simon or Magnus because my blorbo history favors Simons and Magnuses, but Alec has CAPTURED my heart and when he almost died to Abbadon I literally cried even though I KNEW he survived.

Clary, on the contrary, is only slightly less boring than Isabelle. I think Isabelle is badass because she’s got a whip but both of these women is like. Go girl! Give us NOTHING! Especially weird because Clary is primarily our perspective character??

Jace & Simon’s weird little dynamic is interesting. I’m not. Its whatever. I don’t hate it, I’m not intrigued. I DO think Alec/Jace is a far superior romance to Jace/Clary. But also maybe my opinion will change. The little kiss in the garden WAS very cute. Jace thinks he’s so cool and he’s literally not. He’s literally so cringe. His snarky sass is so fun as well, obsessed with whatevers going on there.

The cup being IN the Tarot cards was SO cool. I’m obsessed with THAT.

How old is Magnus. Can I be condoning Malec. Is it like, a Calypso situation. Emotionally he act around 19-20, we’re going with that. He feels like a shitty frat boy. How did this man name Magnus Chase he’s so cool and Magnus Chase is the most pathetic meow meow I’ve ever seen.

UMMM??? HODGE??? WHAT THE A C T U A L FUCK. HELLO. NO. NO. I REFUSE. THIS IS SO FUCKED UP WHAT. SO THAT WAS A FUCKING LIE???? Hodge.

Pov you’re my actually mildly hyperventilating at the end of chapter 22.

JACE IS VALENTINES SON??? THEY’RE SIBLINGS??? Really living up to stealing that name from Ron/Ginny fic huh 😭😭 oh god. Cassie… cassie clare… bbg….

So. The Johnathon reveal fr had me set the book down and walk away because I was in HYSTERICS. congrats, Simon! New chance with your girl because the other part of your love triangle was her BROTHER. so—

Newly finished City of Bones. There’s so much going on here. I’ve thoroughly exhausted my thoughts already. Uhm.

All I have left to say is I adore Luke. He’s perfect. And Magnus Bane RUSHING to Alec like that??? OKAY. HOMOSEXUAL MUCH??? Yes sir go get your man. I see you.

2.) City of Ashes (02/05/23-8/17/23)

Simon and Clary are a MESS i love them. Theyre IDIOTS.

Luke is still my beloved

The complex ass dynamic of Jace and Valentine,,, EAT. love it.

Im gonna be so fr i have updated this in six months and dont remember 90% of book teo anymore actually but Vampire Simon was a slay

Wait that didnt happen in this book.

OH. OH. THE SEELIE COURT? INSANE. INSANO FUCKING CRAZY THAT WAS WILD.

this book took me forever to read because second installments are always weak af (Son of Neptune is an exception) and i struggle so bad

Dont remember if it was this book or book three but him almost dying and Jace giving him blood was the GAYEST thing I’ve ever seen and they should make out. Like that was so horny and for what.

YES THAT WAS TEO IM CORRECT because two was the boar fight and three was the city where sebastian whatever the fuck killed max

Moving on.

3.) City of Glass (8/19/23-8/23/23)

THEYRE NOT. SIBLINGS. WIN FOR EVERYONE INVOLED.

Magnus & Alec appeared like twice but im obsessed with Magnus every time he appears im flirting with him hey bb howzit going.

Maya is my FAVORITE ever i love a wolf girl. Also love a fear demon.

The Max death was UNNECESSARY and UNCALLED FOR he was a BABY BOY. what did he ever do to deserve this. He died HOLDING JACE’S SOLDIER. devastating. Awful.

The mark of Kane for Simon was real as shit im obsessed with that.

The Angel reviving Jace was literally so funny silly goofy. He went “god. What the fuck. At least give this kid a chance at being normal” and thats so funny.

I want to study Jace like a bug. Hes so babygirl.

(I’ll reblog with updates as I read the last half of the series 🙏 it’s taking longer bc ~ school ~)

However!

My best mate & I watched the first season of the show & the City of Bones movie and;

Okay we only watched the first like. 45 minutes of City of Bones because we wanted to watch something genuinely bad and it was doing too well. Obsessed with the cast on that, though. We didnt even get to Magnus or Alec because every casting on the movie was good until Isabelle and it was so bad I made my mate turn it off because I Could Not.

I’m on episode ten of season one of Shadowhunters and its not good but it is fun so I’m thriving. Like this show is bad but also its a fun time so we’re thriving.

[ladyimaginarium]

1. Favorite Anime? Naruto, GANGSTA., Black Lagoon, Michiko to Hatchin, Ergo Proxy, Death Note, No.6, Shingeki no Kyojin would've made this list if it was written by Jewish writers bc my& mixed native jewish ass is conflicted w/ this one, Deadman Wonderland, I& haven't finished Tokyo Ghoul yet but it's really good, I& didn't finish Kuroshitsuji either but i& rly vibed w/ the aesthetic, BNHA was... ehhhh, okay, didn't really vibe w/ the whole ableist trope of "disabled coded character magically gets new powers or becomes abled" so I& dropped it, I& know for a fact that the animated ASOIAF stuff coming up is gonna make me& reverse shit myself&. all i& know is that if the books were animated that would fix me&. 2. Your Worst Anime? Can't rly think of any tbh, I'm& picky, the closest I& could think of was the Boruto series. Mostly bc it basically destroyed any kind of development in Shippuden & shit just doesn't make sense & not to mention it slaughters Sasuke's character & just the entire female cast as a whole which im& not even gonna get into for the sake of my& own sanity. lmao 3. Do you read the Manga that go with the Anime you watch? Usually yeah but I like to keep these separate tbh. I read the manga only if I know that the anime won’t get a second season and I’m still interested in what happens next. Anyway, in short, I bother with the manga only if I really love the anime ie gangsta & naruto but I& can't watch or read long series anymore due to adhd & spoonie reasons lmao 4. Favorite Genres? action, supernatural, fantasy, science fiction, comedy, horror, psychological. 5. Least Favorite Genres? Harem mostly bc the dudes are so lame & basic lmao 6. Favorite Character? Erica ( GANGSTA. ), Beretta ( GANGSTA. ), the Benriya trio ( GANGSTA. ), basically the entire Second & Third Destroyers regiments ( GANGSTA. ), basically the entire Akatsuki ( Naruto ), basically any of the founders ( Naruto ), any of the jinchuriki & tailed beasts/bijuu ( my& plural ass vibed w/ them so hard & i& didnt even know i& was plural at the time lmao ), Michiko Malandro ( what do u think lmao ), Nezumi ( No.6 ), Uchiha Madara ( Naruto; he really is That Black Air Force Energy Icon ) Eren Jaeger (snk; LISTEN HE'S MY& INSYS BF IM& CHEATING OKAY ), Mihael Kheel / Mello ( Death Note; g-d he's so fucking iconic ), Misa Amane ( Death Note ), L Lawliet ( Death Note; aro autistic mf represent ) Marco Adriano ( GANGSTA. ), Rebecca Lee / Revy ( Black Lagoon; she could beat my& ass & i'd& thank her lmao ), Eda ( Black Lagoon; smth about a nun w/ a gun who dresses up like a bimbo at night but is actually a cia agent makes me& go WOOF WOOF BARK BARK ). others im& def forgetting lmao 7. Least Favorite Character? bitch idk 8. Qualities you like in a Character? Kindhearted, caring, badass, strong-willed, cheeky, has deadpan sense of humor. women who can beat my& ass. poor little meow meows. 9. Short or Long anime? Short these days. I& litcherally Cannot watch longer anime. naruto was my& first long anime & it'll likely be my& last lmao 10. Anime or Manga? I procrastinate both but I guess manga, mostly because I can read it without fearing that the plot will go to shit  11. How do you choose the anime you watch? If it has pretty art, if the aesthetic is pretty, if my& friends watch it 12. Skip or listen to Intros/Outros? I usually always listen. I& literally never skip Naruto, Black Lagoon or the GANGSTA. openings & EDs 13. How do you cope if your friends or family don’t like you watching anime? most ppl around me& like anime but if they don't i& dont give a fuck?? like. why the fuck should i& care what other ppl think lmfao 14. Do you stop an anime midway if you don’t like it? I& sometimes drop anime for no reason whatsoever. lmao It’s a waste of time if it doesn’t hold your attention, let alone if you don’t like it. it's somewhat what happened w/ bnha as explained above. i& just really dislike that trope as a disabled & neurodivergent system lmao 15. Who are you tagging to do this? @librastrai @dethqveen @abri-chan & whoever else wants to do this !!

[storybook-souls]

top ten books i read in 2022

in order of how much i enjoyed them, not necessarily how good they are, although i do stand by them all being good. limited myself to one per series bc i do think otherwise seven out of these ten would be the raven cycle and the locked tomb series. add me on storygraph @strawberrrysky for more book opinions and also bc i desperately want more storygraph friends

(i promise my descriptions get shorter as i go on)

1. The Raven Boys, by Maggie Stiefvater

i somehow missed reading trc when i was a teenager and then avoided it for a while out of a combination of stubbornness and a total misconception of what the books were about. fortunately this year my friends responded to my plea for fantasy books in a modern setting by telling me to just suck it up and read the raven boys already and by the end of chapter 1 i was intrigued, by the end of chapter 7 i was locked the fuck in, by the end of chapter 15 i was like “oh okay this is gonna be my personality for a while.” the prose, the system of magic, the atmosphere, and above all the characters...augh. i love these books and i love the raven boys in particular i think maggie stiefvater REALLY knows how to establish her characters and her world and how to pull a reader in and how to give you that bubbly “it was starting!” feeling right alongside the characters. also the whole last act of this book made me experience brand new emotions. i could go on but i think everyone who hasn’t read these books yet should at least CONSIDER it.

2. Harrow the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir

it’s CRAZY how good this book (the second in the locked tomb series) is. it’s CRAZY. it shouldn’t work but it absolutely does. the prose, the set-up and payoff, the hiding things in plain sight. there’s NOTHING more satisfying than the way everything clicks together at the end. tamsyn muir said “you ARE going to read this book that’s inexplicably in second person and seems at first to totally disregard the first book in the series and you’re going to love it” and i respect her so much for that. and the CHARACTERS! the PLOT! genuine masterpiece i think it’s one of the smartest-written books i’ve ever read

3. Gravity is the Thing, by Jaclyn Moriarty

i LOVED this book. Jaclyn Moriarty’s prose is so melodic and fun to read--usually when i read a book in three days it means something about the plot really seized me but in this case it was more just how much i was enjoying her style. it manages to balance a sense of whimsy with feeling real and honest, which is exactly what i want from this kind of contemporary fiction. book about connection, book about grief, book about hope, loss, healing, resilience, imagination...when i finished it i cried for half an hour and it felt like my soul had taken a shower

4. Piranesi, by Susanna Clarke

Piranesi had been “at the top of my to-read list” for over a year by the time i finally got to it and i was a bit worried my expectations were going to be too high but oh my GOD was it every bit as good as everyone said. NO one is doing it like this book and I don’t want to tell you much more about it because I think the less you know the better but what a win for slow reveals and satisfying endings.

5. The Book of Eels, by Patrik Svensson

my nonfiction winner for this year. I learned so much about eels and also cried about humanity and family which is always what I’m looking for from a book

6. The Only Good Indians, by Stephen Graham Jones

i have GOT to get into reading more horror this book was so awesome. scary and brilliantly written and atmospheric and didn’t pull its punches even at all.

7. Jurassic Park, by Michael Crichton

one of my few re-reads this year but i LOVE this book, especially the masterful slow build in the first half of it. the horror of a dinosaur eating someone is one thing, the horror of human hubris and dramatic irony is another.

8. The Devourers, by Indra Das

the most visceral book i’ve ever read i think. now THIS is love and consumption! now THIS is a book about telling stories and being human!

9. Artificial Condition, by Martha Wells

The murderbot diaries are like. 80% funny and fast-paced and action packed and then all of a sudden you’ll hit a line or a concept that makes you have to put the book down and take a few laps around the room. Murderbot’s relationship with ART especially made me really feel like I was losing my mind. This is what I like about sci-fi.

10. The Ocean at the End of the Lane, by Neil Gaiman

this book is incredibly well written and i think the horror elements stuck with me more than some of the actual horror books I read this year. just a really gorgeous and atmospheric and dreamlike story that manages to convincingly feel like it’s playing with huge things while still keeping the scope of the story very small. like a whole ocean in a pond, one could say,

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

11. The Queen’s Gambit, by Walter Tevis (can’t help it i’m a sucker for a chess game)

12. Gone Girl, by Gillian Flynn (i think i’d’ve liked it more if i hadn’t already known all the twists but even knowing what was going on it was still fucking awesome)

13. Owls of the Eastern Ice, by Jonathan C. Slaght (i think i learned more from this one than anything else i read this year)

14. The Traitor Baru Cormorant, by Seth Dickinson (no one is doing it like her)

15. Black Cake, by Charmaine Wilkerson (a win for my book club)

[horse-girl-anthy]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks..

tbh this is extremely hard to answer because I have many interests. I’m sure I’ll feel bad when I remember the hundred other characters that should have made the list. I’m not putting any Ikuhara characters because it’d been too hard to pick and honestly I’d have to go through each work individually. 

1. Tenma from Naoki Urasawa’s Monster. I don’t claim to be a complicated person, alright. I just think he’s nice. every time I read Monster I get more attached to him like a little baby duck, which is what all the other characters in that story do as well so I’m valid. trying to put it into words is hard--he’s just an alluring combo of pathetic, ridiculous, cool, strong, and kind. plus he kinda becomes a religious figure by the end and I’m a sucker for that shit.

2. Xie Lian from TGCF/Heaven Official’s Blessing. I read the novels this summer after watching the donghua. I was just expecting a decent BL, but what I got was epic historical supernatural fiction (and BL). Xie Lian is such an impressively written character. his story helped me deal with my own fall from grace, as it were, and was overall cathartic and engaging. plus he’s my type. step aside Hua Cheng, I’d die for him first. 

3. Orel from Moral Orel. I love this show a lot because of its focus on the cruelty and hypocrisy of WASP America, and Orel is relatable for struggling to understand the bulltshit answers he gets to all his questions. he’s a lot more innocent than I was as a kid, but I think his kind of purity plays well against the satirical, dark edge of the show. 

4. Reki from Haibane Renmei. most of the reasons I love her aren’t revealed until the very end of the show. I’ll say that I love her because she’s the ultimate manifestation of the story’s themes of guilt and redemption.

5. Ishida from Koe no Katachi. I just finished rereading this manga recently. if you want a character who does wrong, suffers, tries to change himself, but finds it isn’t that easy, Ishida is your man. he’s such a funny, well-written teen boy, but also someone I think anyone from any background can see themselves in--the good and the bad. 

6. Naruto from... you know. Naruto was the first anime I became really obsessed with, when I was in middle school, and Naruto himself is the first character I can remember becoming attached to in an intense, lasting way. I loved him so much and I still have that attachment to him. he’s so, so cute, and so, so lovable. when I’m done with my first round of Ikuhara vids, I’m going to download Naruto so I can make my friend a Sasuke fancam and I’m also gonna make a Naruto edit just for me :)

7. Miyuki from Naoki Urasawa’s Happy! I’ve read everything by Urasawa except for Yawara, and I’m one of the only people who seems to have read Happy! I gotta say, would I pick it as one of his best works? no. I love everything he’s done, but something like 20th Century Boys or Billy Bat is clearly a more serious, meaningful story than Happy!, which comes out of his transition phase between writing romantic comedy sports manga and his later thrillers. however... Happy! is one of those works which makes me lose my mind regardless of quality. and Miyuki, the main character, is just so damn adorable. I find her a very appealing, sweet character. beyond that, kind of like Monster, the entire story is about people trying to break her down, but she refuses to ever give up and I love that sort of thing when played right. 

8. Ged from Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea series. I am still digging into Le Guin’s body of work but I’ve read most of her novels and short story collections. I could absolutely make a top ten list with just characters from her books. however, I managed to narrow it down to just three from this list, all from the Earthsea books. Ged is the only character who appears in all six books, and the reader gets to experience close the entire course of his life. he starts as an arrogant, careless boy and grows into a wise man. Le Guin decided not to leave him after he does his final great act, and his story continues after he loses his power. Tehanu, the fourth book in the series, is probably my favorite book I’ve ever read, I’ve thought about writing an analysis comparing it with RGU, and one of its main themes is life after loss and trauma. his story interwines with the next two characters on this list.

9. Tenar from Earthsea. like Ged, we get to see most of her life throughout the books. book 2 contains her coming of age story, while Tehanu features her as a widow, struggling between the life of an ordinary woman and her status in the mythology of Earthsea. she brings so much fire, mirth, and strength to the series. she’s someone I wish I had in my life, and if you really pressed me, she’s my favorite character Le Guin ever wrote. 

10. Tehanu from Earthsea. this character is a strange one to try to write about. I’ve seen people criticize her writing by saying there’s nothing to her, she’s just a vessel for the story. but I can’t agree. as someone who’s known people who went through severe childhood trauma, I think that Tehanu is written with thought and care. I love how unnerving and unknowable she is, but also how she is written like she’s any other child. the ending of her story in the final book made me sob and sob and sob. 

sources for the last three images because they’re fanart: 1, 2, 3

[cliffhanger-ending]

2022 Library Books

I moved to a new city this year and opened a library card, so I made this list of (most of) the books I checked out this year and my thoughts! Some are shorter than others because I started this list in about June so I was trying to remember how I felt about them a few months later haha

(Note I did not include books I DNF’d after like 30 pages because I didn’t see the point, I included a few I DNF’d further along)

That said, if anyone has any recs for 2023 reading, feel free to send me an ask!

List under the cut!

Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - 3.5/5. Cute and cheesy, but felt a little too much at times

Mr. Penumbra’s 24 Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan - 3.5/5. Loved the concept and laughed out loud at parts but I'm not sure I liked the ending

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern - 5/5. Honestly my favorite book I’ve ever read, the concept the writing the characters the world building the everything. Finished the entire 500 page book in 2 days, could have done it in 1 if I hadn’t started at 7 pm the first day

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern - 4/5. I think I read it too fast so there were a few parts I didn’t understand but overall very good, again loved the world building

Written in the Stars by Alexandria Bellefleur - 1/5. Just not my cup of tea, felt more like a poorly written fanfiction than a book. Grumpy/sunshine and fake dating but like… ok what else that’s literally the entire book

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston - 4.5/5. This one wasn’t as hyped to me as RWRB was so I was pleasantly surprised that I liked it way better. Sapphic subway romance with a sci-fi twist, what more could you ask for? I love Jane. Docked half a point just because I personally did not enjoy the explicit scenes but that’s a me being sex repulsed thing and not anything against the author’s writing

The Passing Playbook by Isaac Fitzsimons - DNF. I’m definitely out of the intended age range for this book, and the writing was frankly bad. Felt like representation for the sake of checking off boxes on a diversity checklist

Anything But Fine by Tobias Madden - 2/5. I related to the main character as a former dancer forced to quit due to my body failing, but in terms of actual plot and characters it wasn’t super great

Beyond the Black Door by Adrianne Strickland - 2/5. Too many plot twists, felt really confusing. Ace/trans rep but in the weirdest most roundabout way possible so it didn’t feel like it. Don’t like her falling for the guy who literally invaded her mind and started living there

Sweet Sorrows by David Nichols - gonna be honest I don’t remember much of this one, it wasn’t what I was expecting out of it when I checked it out

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann - DNF. Disappointed because I wanted the bi ace rep, but the writing wasn’t good and the representation felt wrong and frankly insulting

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin - 3/5. The concept of this one is really intriguing and I loved the beginning where we found all the boroughs, but the ending wasn’t quite satisfying to me. Also felt like stereotyping in the bad way but maybe that was the point? I think it’s a series, maybe some of this is answered in the later books

The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow - 2/5. Again disappointed by what should have been a really good book based on the concept. I wish it was more about the sci-fi than the romance and also that it wasn’t human/alien romance. Ending was not satisfying and I’ll admit I’m ace not demi so I don’t have firsthand experiences but the representation felt inaccurate

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo - 4/5. Loved how much research clearly went into making it as accurate to 1950s San Francisco as possible. I related a lot to Lily in terms of her figuring out her sexuality and being perceived as naive and innocent by other queer people, and I really felt for her with all her internal (and let’s be honest external) conflict about her identities. There were just a few plot points I wish had been elaborated on more, like what happened to Kath after they got separated or what ever happened with Calvin

Pulp by Robin Talley - DNF. Abby’s character annoyed me to death, Janet’s story was slightly more interesting but not enough for me to want to keep reading. Disappointed because the premise was really good but it just was not executed well at all

Almost Like Being In Love by Steve Kluger - 4/5. Hilarious, loved all the characters and all the Red Sox references (being a big fan myself). Loved the formatting too but I get it’s not for everyone. Felt a bit over the top at parts (Travis that was definitely stalking bro) but it worked for the plot. First chapter when they were teens was definitely the best, epilogue felt a little anticlimactic but I guess it wrapped up nicely

Desire Lines by Christina Baker Kline - 1.5/5. Not what I was expecting when I checked it out, I thought it was going to be more of a mystery and it wasn’t (both in the sense that the first 70% of the book is basically an entirely different genre and that it was pretty easy to figure out the mystery). Did not like the main character at all, did not like the only gay character being a stereotype, did not like the justification of student/teacher relationships, did not like the romance. Bonus half star for small New England town setting but that’s probably the only thing I did like about it

Survive the Night by Riley Sager - 2/5. The premise was really interesting but the execution was not very good. I think it took me longer than most to figure out who did it but I was able to figure it out before the reveal, but the other big twist seemed like it came out of nowhere, especially after that character’s pov chapter. I didn’t like the whole “this is what happened, oh just kidding you made it up, nope you were right the first time” thing and that was pretty much the entire book. Especially didn’t like the very end when she married the guy who essentially kidnapped her

The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab - 3/5. Absolutely loved it most of the way through and was ready to give it 4 stars, but the ending was bad enough to dock an entire star, it completely ruined it for me. It just fed into that trope of manipulation played off as “love” which I can’t stand. I did like Henry’s character and a lot of the side characters, and the writing itself, but for as much as I was loving it up until the last 70 pages or so I was left feeling extremely disappointed

Strange the Dreamer by Laini Taylor - DNF. I liked it enough for the first part with Lazlo, but as soon as it switched pov to Sarai it completely turned me off. Especially didn’t like the implication that Sparrow was in love with Feral when they were basically raised as siblings. The reviews on this one were overall really good so I was expecting more