#and I perhaps I looked up top ten Garrus moments but that’s besides the point

[beastwars-transformers]

Both instances of Transformers and Mass Effect im just trying to watch one thing but YouTube gives me annoying people in the recommendations. STOP showing stupid arguments between weird nerd men over plastic toys I’m trying to watch top ten robot yaoi moments.

[ramblinganthropologist]

N7 2019

Summary: It’s time to...duel? Uh... is this the right series? Oh, whatever... dueling biotics takes on a whole new term for Alistair Shepard. Luckily, he has an ace in the hole... or an ancient spirit in a gaudy gold necklace. 

---

What a wonderful day to have to deal with Miranda's bullshit.

Alistair Shepard felt his forehead throb as he stared across the open field. On one side, he and his friends gathered at one end of the castle. On the other stood Miranda, part time classmate and part time pain in his neck. She was blocking their way to the castle's main entrance and the end of their journey. The finals of the tournament were so close...

Leave it to Miranda to be extra as hell. He really wasn't in the mood for this – thank you 2 days of little sleep and absolute bullshit along the way. When he got to the Illusive Man, he was kicking that asshole into next month... who puts a maze under their castle?

Fuck, he was gonna have nightmares about that for a while...

“Seriously, can you move aside? We have our star chips already.” Garrus, next to him, was particularly proud of his ten. “Besides, do you even have any?”

Miranda's expression never changed as she held out her wrist. On it was a glove and ten chips. “More than those two friends  of yours do.”

Alistair shifted closer to where Kaidan and Tali were standing. Neither of them had any – after all, they were stowaways to the tournament. It had been hell making sure they weren't kicked of, or worse – knowing the Illusive Man, he was playing for keeps.

“Leave them out of this, Miranda. If you have enough, just go in already. We can settle this inside during the finals.”

The genius shook her head. “We settle this now, Shepard. Get your deck ready.”

Garrus' voice sounded out over the roar of waves below them. “One problem – there's no duel arena. Guess you didn't think that one out, did you?”

“I'm amazed you're still here. Perhaps having Shepard save you from nearly every duel has its upside.” Miranda's voice was flat as she turned back to face her desired opponents. “A lack of ring won't be a problem. I've developed something just for this purpose.”

She reached down, taking the briefcase she had and opening it. Then she tossed something at him. On instinct, Alistair caught it. It... looked like a Frisbee. Well, it was a little too thick to be a proper one. From the looks of things, it went on the wrist... and it had slots for cards.

Huh. Mobile dueling?

“Is this really necessary, Miranda?” Tali's voice was calm, but firm. “Alistair helped save your sister. Surely that's enough for you.”

Oh, if only saving his... well, he supposed they were rivals, though not by his own choice in the matter, thank you very much... he was getting off track. Saving Orana from the Illusive Man's goons should have been enough to get the genius off his back.

Apparently, it only made matters worse.

His headache only continued to throb as he inspected the device. Miranda had already inserted her deck and was waiting on him to get going with his. Eventually, Alistair sighed and reached for the box attached to his hip.

“Fine... but nothing stupid.”

Let me handle this one. I don't like the look in her eyes.

There was the voice again. Alistair had long since stopped looking down at the golden pyramid that hung from his neck. He didn't need to – she was with him no matter what. If he squinted, he could see her.

She... well, they hadn't settled on a name. She couldn't remember it. So they called her Bo to make things easy. Bo was wearing his clothes, only she looked better in them. She too had a device strapped to her wrist, a deck already inserted.

When he spoke to her, it was without words as well. Be careful. She doesn't look so good.

Don't worry about me, Al. I've got this. Now are we doing this or what?

A familiar tingle took over, and Alistair watched as he was removed from main control. Well, remove was too strong of a word. It was more Bo was... borrowing his body for the moment. He got to stay wherever he went when she took control, watching. In his mind's eye, he saw her super-imposed with her pink hair, dark skin, and glowing red eyes. Nobody ever mentioned noticing a difference, but he knew there was one.

Now the spirit of the Citadel Puzzle had taken over.

“No tricks, Miranda. I'm not fucking with you today.” Bo was speaking with words now, her voice lower than his as she grabbed his – their – deck and inserted it in the disk. “Let's do this. I got a boot to put up the Illusive Man's ass.”

“Duel!”

---

“You can't-”

“I fucking will! I equip Round Hammy with Heavyweight Belt! With this, his attack goes up  by 500 with as many monsters that are in your graveyard! Read 'em and weep, princess, because I'm counting 4 there!”

The cute little hamster on their side of the field wasn't so cute anymore as it grew in size and mass with the attaching of the heavyweight belt card. Glowing numbers put its attack at 2500, just at the same level as its opponent on the other side. Miranda was smirking as she stood behind Biotic Queen, glowing at 2500.

“Our monsters have the same attack strength, Shepard. They'll cancel each other out.”

Bo smirked as she moved her borrowed arm forward. “Heavyweight belt activates my face-down, Second Wind! It released one monster defeated in the battle phase in my graveyard for one turn. I'm bringing back Hammy Heartbreaker!”

A hamster in a leather jacket and guitar appeared on the field next to the wrestler rodent. Its attack points were 1000, just over Miranda's remaining 500. It was going to be a brutal 1-2 punch, and with Miranda so close to the edge...

Bo, don't! She'll fall!

Al tried to regain control, but he couldn't. Bo had a stronger will then as she spoke the words of attack. Both hamsters charged forward, straight for Miranda's side of the field. The aftershock was enough to make his rival slip – she started to fall back.

But his own hand grabbed her and pulled her back at the last moment.

“Fucking idiot. If you wanna kill yourself, don't use me to do it.” Bo let Miranda's wrist drop as her life points hit zero. “Shit, think of your sister next time before you do something so stupid. I thought you were smart.”

The genius was looking down at the ground, looking dejected. “And I thought you had a soft side.”

Yeah, he did. Meanwhile, he got to watch as Bo picked up the cards their disk had ejected. Their weird combo deck – half hamster, half pro wrestling – was still a work in progress but it had gotten them pretty far. Still... he definitely didn't remember putting second win in.

You can thank me after we win and get Anderson's soul back.

Alistair felt like beating his head against the wall of the room he was in as Bo headed back to his friends. She could have died, Bo!

Well, she didn't. Now we can get through. I'm switching back... this pissed me off.

He was back in control once more, facing his friends. None of them looked too pleased with him at the moment – Kaidan looked furious, Tali was... hard to read. Garrus, he didn't want to look at Garrus as he slipped his deck back in the box. Leave it to Bo to mess that up.

“She could have fallen to her death, Alistair. You're lucky you caught her.” the Canadian brushed by him. Tali at least shared a concerned glance as she followed after, calling for Kaidan to wait up. This left him and Garrus alone in the whistling wind of the castle tower.

You can thank me later.

She would thank him later if he didn't chuck the Citadel Puzzle over the wall and into the sea at this rate. Fuck... how did he get himself into these problems?

“Dad...”

No, but seriously, all he wanted to do was play-

“Dad!”

---

Alistair shot up, eyes wide. He was in a dark room, the TV on in front of him and ending credits playing. It was dark outside – the clock said it was just about to hit midnight. From the looks of things, he had fallen asleep on the couch.

Shit.

His daughter was next to him, a blanket thrown around her rigid shoulders. Watching the show had been Dany's idea. Her friends at school had suggested it, and she had quickly gotten hooked. He had agreed to watch it as some father-daughter bonding, but his brain kept trying to figure out mechanics. Then he had fallen asleep.

He was still working on the good dad thing.

Dany clucked at him as she paused the beginning of the next episode. “You totally missed it, Kaiba and Yugi were dueling on the edge of the castle with these cool duel disks.”

“I think I caught that part, didn't it spit the cards out into gale force winds in an open space?” He prodded her side playfully. “And shouldn't you be asleep? I said we could watch two episodes before you headed of to bed, young lady.”

She grinned at him, eyes bright. “It's not a school night, dad, see? The clock says it's Saturday now.”

It was – Saturday, November 7 2195.

Well... she had him there. Alistair found he couldn't be too annoyed with her finessing of the bedtime rules. She was getting crafty as she got older – he would need to bring his a-game soon. That would probably give his brain a much needed workout.

“Can we please watch one more episode?” Dany's eyes were huge as she slammed her talons together to plead her case. “I promise to go to bed right after!”

She probably wouldn't. As a matter of fact, he would probably watch up to three more episodes before she was the one to fall asleep on the couch. But he found he didn't mind as he got comfortable on the couch once more.

After all... it wasn't a school night.

“One more.”

His daughter cheered and threw her arms around his neck so hard he swore she bruised his chin with the top of her head. Then the opening song started to play once more as they settled in for their supposed one last episode. With any luck, they would be in bed before 2.

Alistair was distracted, however, by a vibration on his wrist. A message was coming in – not from Garrus, he was still working. This one was beaming all the way from Rannoch, so maybe the timing was a bit off.

“Huh. It's your Aunt Bo.”

He flicked it open. It was a simple message, only a few lines of text that radiated violent pink ink in Bo's natural style. Even after so many years, she still loved that color. And he was glad she did – he couldn't picture her without it.

Happy N7. Why the fuck did you wear a silver necklace with a gold pyramid?

Alistair shook his head as he texted her back. Because it was there? You were the one who tried to push Miranda off a building with a giant hamster.

Yeah, that had been a weird dream. It was good to know he wasn't the only one who had sat through it. He had long since learned to accept the oddities that occurred between himself and Bo. They were bonded – that was the simple truth.

At least his tattoo wasn't hurting. He was sore enough from working so late.

“Tell Aunt Bo I said hi!” Dany's sing-song chirp carried over the sounds of animated dueling. “Oh man, he summoned Blue Eyes!”

She turned her attention back to the TV as Alistair chuckled and waited for his ex-partner's message to come from Rannoch. After all, he had an important hello to send back. Until then, he was content to watch the show with his daughter.

But really... who stands on the wall of a castle like that? What the fuck, Miranda...