#and I love drawing this dumb purple superhero duck!!

[purpleterror91]

Some recent duck doodles from twitter! Also sorry that I just show up for a bit to dump some art and then disappear for like 3 weeks.

[sidespart]

Sibling Culture

Summary: Younger siblings Patton, Virgil and Roman share some stories about their older siblings Deceit, Logan and Remus. Patton and Virgil’s stories are cute. Roman’s are not.

Warnings: Abuse, Unsympathetic Remus, Non graphic descriptions of abuse, Not great understanding of mental health issues (child POV), authority figures not being very useful, child being exposed to sexual situations (very much not graphic). Ask if you want me to add more. 

Relationships: Gen, but a bit of pre-relationship moxiety snuck in because I love them

“Hey, how’d you get that scar?”

Despite the warm day, Roman felt cold grip his insides, twisting upwards towards his throat and freezing any denial he could think of until he was startled by a laugh from Patton.

“Oh! It was Dee’s fault.”

Wincing, Roman twisted himself so he could see the other two properly. Patton was still sprawled out on the grass next to him, but Virgil had sat up. He was hunched over, peering at Patton’s leg. When he saw Roman carefully sit up to join him he pointed at a faded sliver of a scar, just above Patton’s left knee.

“What did he DO?” Virgil face had shifted into a scowl at the mention his ‘arch enemy’ but that faded quickly as Patton started giggling.

“It was when I was …four? I think? He convinced me the Easter Bunny didn’t come to our house because the Easter Fox lived in our yard. I had to go out and patrol the yard, make sure it was safe, or I wouldn’t get any candy that year.”

-It said something about years of friendship with both Patton and Devin Sanders that neither Roman or Virgil thought to question that logic-

“Anyway he let me stomp around there for ever and then he jumped out in this fox mask to scare me!”

“This kind’ve thing is why he’s a dick” Virgil muttered. His hand, Roman noticed, was still on Patton’s leg, thumb swiping idly over the scar.

“He was nine, Vee” Patton said reprovingly, although he didn’t actually deny the comment, “anyway, he didn’t know I’d snuck a knife from the dishwasher-

“You WHAT?-”

“A KNIFE?-”

“-there was candy AND a bunnys life a stake, guys I was taking it seriously!” Patton’s eyes were sparkling with laughter at the twin looks of horror on his friends faces. “Anyway, he startled me so bad that of course I dropped it right away – sliced my knee up as it fell.”

“oh my God” Virgil groaned finally relinquishing Patton’s leg so he could bury his face in his hands. “That could have been so bad Pat.”

“what did Devin do?” Roman asked quietly.

“oh, he freaked – Virgil will you come out of there I’m fine – yelled so loud both our parents came running. Then, once I was all bandaged up, he tried to convince them I fell off a skateboard.”

That was enough to make Virgil peak through his fingers, a frown on his face “Did you ever even own a skateboard?”

Patton shifted himself so he was sitting up as well, an extremely solemn look on his face.

“We did not.”

There was a brief, pregnant pause before all three of them cracked up, their laughter echoing across Vigil’s yard.

“Older brothers are the worst.” Virgil pronounced. Despite the heat of the day he was still wearing his thick hoodie over a t-shirt and jeans, but now he started pushing up his right sleeve “Did I ever tell you about the time Logan threw me out of the tree house?”

“He what??!” Roman yelped.

“He would NEVER!” Patton gasped.

“He did” Virgil held his right arm up, revealing a long puckered line that ran from his mid forearm across his elbow. “It was before either of you moved here, I had a cast and everything”

All three of them took a moment to admire Virgil’s scar, much more raised and defined than Patton’s, before Roman asked the question they were no doubt all thinking:

“What colour was your cast?”

“Purple.”

“Nice.”

“Did Logan really push you Virgil?” Roman had to do his absolute best not to laugh at the pout that appeared on Virgil’s face when he took in Patton’s heartbroken expression.

Logan McAlister, was four years older than the three friends and Patton had fixated on him the moment they’d met. Roman has spent years watching Patton go from hero worship to puppy love to full blown crush all while Virgil stomped along next to him like a gloomy, jealous, storm cloud.

Not that Virgil would ever admit that it was jealousy making him snap and snarl at his brother whenever his friends came around…but their relationship certainly seemed to become more civil once Patton had gotten over his crush.

Roman couldn’t really blame Patton either. Virgil had never said anything and Logan…Logan was cool.

“He built a plane.” Virgil muttered eventually, shoving his sleeve back into place. “or a glider or…something. A box with a sheet stuck too it anyway. We both sat in it and he pushed us out of there.” He pointed towards the somewhat dilapidated tree house nestled in the tallest tree in the yard.

Roman let out a low whistle. Now that the three of them were quickly approaching seventeen they had physically, if not mentally, started to outgrow the tree house. Which meant it was no longer useful for much beyond lying down almost on top of each other during study sessions or lazy afternoon naps. When Roman had first met Virgil at age ten however it had seemed enormous. And very high up. It would have seemed even higher whenever the Ill-fated glider attempt had happened.

‘Were you scared?” he asked, watching Virgil carefully, but the other boy just shrugged.

“I don’t remember much to be honest. We were both pretty small.” He grinned. “I just remember afterwards. Logan kept coming into my room to sneak me chips and read his Physics text book to me”

“Aww! That so sweet!”

“Such a nerd.”

“Yeah.” Virgil ducked his head a little, apparently agreeing with both statements. He plucked a few strands of grass from the lawn, twisting them between his fingers.

Roman glanced at Patton, concerned. They both knew Virgil missed his brother, away at college and not due for a visit for at least a month. They also knew that asking him directly about it was a guaranteed way to get the emo to tense up.

Just as Roman was debating launching himself into a rendition of Black Parade as a distraction Virgil rolled his shoulders a looked up at him.

“Your turn.”

That cold grip he’d felt when he thought Virgil had noticed one of his scars was suddenly back ten fold.

“Oh…”

That made sense. Patton had shared a dumb sibling story. Then Virgil. Now it was his turn. It was only fair.

“Well…”

Roman was suddenly finding it quite difficult to breath. And to think. What was he supposed to tell them?

“I…”

He sat frozen. While two expectant faces stared at him, he racked his brain for a story to tell.

  -

When they’re seven Roman draws out his first story. Crude renderings of superheroes and scientists and scientist-superheroes in the rainforest. it’s boring Remus complains when he sees it. You’re boring Ro’. Make them fight! No - make ‘em smash that guys head in!

No! Roman shouts and Remus scowls. Grabs at the craft scissors lying on the table and jumps towards Roman; trying to both rip the paper out of his hands and cut it to pieces at the same time whilst Roman screams and screams.

Later, their mother gently cleans the tiny scratches on Romans hand whilst Remus sulks at the table. He started it Remus mutters and Roman feels his mothers arms tighten around him. Protective.

 - 

When they’re nine they get taken on a trip to the public pool in the next town. This pool is bigger than their local one with slides and pool toys and jets. The two of them spend a happy hour chasing each other with pool noodles and racing each other in the water. And then Remus pushes Romans head underwater and holds him down until his lungs are burning so badly he opens his mouth. He spends their last precious minutes of the trip hacking and spluttering. Clinging to the pools edge with his brothers laughter ringing in his ears.

 -

When they’re eleven Remus sneaks into his room at night with their fathers laptop tucked securely under his arm. Wakes Roman up by crashing onto the bed next to him and says look what I found!

Roman isn’t really sure what he’s found at first. The sounds off, presumably to avoid alerting their parents in the room next door, the websites unfamiliar – it takes a few seconds for the pulsing blobs to be recognisable as people and when they do YURGHH! Roman shrikes slams the laptop closed whilst Remus howls with laughter what were they doing to that woman?!

what were they – oh my god your such a pussy Roman don’t you know? Let me show you another one-

NO

Roman kicks and punches and shoves trying to get Remus away from him and Remus is laughing laughing laughing until he isn’t. Until their parents are in the room, shouting, trying to separate them and Remus is using the laptop like a bludgeon, slamming the edge into Romans ribs, each hit punctuated with Why! Do! You! Ruin! Everything!

The next day Virgil asks if he wants to come and play in the tree house and Roman says no. He has to be home early. Visitors. Virgil accepts the lie easily and Roman tries not to breath to deeply.

  -

The thing is you cant blame Remus. You’re not allowed. Not really. 

There’s something wrong with him.

What that something is seems to change often depending on which adult you ask. Every few months their parents bring Remus back from a new therapist with a new diagnosis and a new bottle of pills and big grins because THIS time they’re going to fix him.

  -

When they’re twelve Romans mother smiles at him and says Your such a good boy Roman. You keep me going. Their mother doesn’t smile much these days and the sight of it is almost as good as the praise. I know its hard. It must be so frustrating for you.

Last month Remus had convinced an older boy to gift him a box of cigarettes. That morning he’d  found them again and finally tried to smoke them, recruiting a reluctant Roman to keep watch. When he’d gagged on the taste he’d made exaggerated vomiting noises before stuffing the still burning end into Romans palm.

But we’re all in this together. You know?

Roman knows. He wants to help. He decides that unless the injury is bad enough he can’t fix it himself he simply wont tell his parents. He wants to help keep them going.

  -

When they’re thirteen Remus watches some murder mystery show and decides to burn his fingerprints off on the kitchen stove. We should do yours too! Shoving his mangled thumb under Romans nose. The smell makes Roman gag. Remus’ eyes are fever bright. We could be partners in crime!

 -

When they’re fourteen Remus decides he wants white streaks in his hair. And since they’re twins Roman should too. His attempt to bleach Romans hair as he sleeps leads to ruined sheets and a smattering of chemical burns across his neck and shoulders. He tells Patton it was a cooking accident and invests his saved allowance in jackets with high starched collars.

 -

When they’re fifteen he tells someone.

Their school has an assembly. Some outside company performing a play about abusive relationships. The teachers all have their sombre This Is A Serious Topic Don’t You Dare Laugh faces on as the actors work. Roman watches closely, picking up on all the false steps and poorly delivered lines which he would surely have avoided if he was an actor. The story is about a school girl who gets into a relationship with an older man who turns abusive. All throughout the play she drops increasingly massive hints to her friends and family who blithely ignore her until she dies spectacularly and loudly in the final scene.

On one side of Roman, Patton is fully sobbing. On the other Virgil is quite possibly asleep. The actors come out to a smattering of applause (lead overly enthusiastically by Patton) and launch in to a pre-prepared speech. Remember the signs! Tell a parent or teacher if you’re in trouble! If you suspect your friend is in trouble! Abuse can happen to anyone! Abusers can BE anyone!

Huh. Roman thinks afterwards.

He probably doesn’t count if it’s a sibling though.

Remus isn’t a stranger. Like the man in the play. And they’re the same age.

Still.

The next day he feels like he’s in a trance.

He takes his jacket off in his first class. Art. Pat and Virgil aren’t in this class with him. Better that way.

There are bruises on his forearms. Dark splotches which are so so obviously made by fingers.

He waits. One minute. Two.

Roman! His teacher is in front of him, faster than he anticipated, alarmed look on his face. What happened to your arm?

Stay in the trance. No shaking. M-my brother did it. He wanted the TV remote.

A pause that seems to last and hour and then his teachers’ laughing a shaky laugh. Smiles at him exasperated but fond. Roman aren’t you two a little too old to be roughhousing like that?

Right

It doesn’t count.

You can’t be abused by a sibling. A few cuts, bruises, scars – that’s just sibling culture baby. Virgil and Patton have stories too – you don’t see them freezing up. Complaining

Don’t be a pussy Roman.

He puts his jacket back on and keeps it on for the rest of the day.

 -

When they’re sixteen Remus comes home for the weekend, sits at the kitchen table and asks if Roman wants to hang out.

-Remus goes to a special school for behaviourally challenged students and only comes back every other weekend. Their parents cried when he left. Thought they’d failed. Felt devastated. Roman didn’t feel much of anything and wonders if that makes him a bad person-

Remus is calmer these days but Roman still says no. He has plans with his friends. Oh yes. Remus rolls his eyes Paddington Bore and the Virgin.

Roman glares at him. Don’t call them that. Even though that’s basically affectionate, for Remus. And Remus looks at him for a long moment before nodding. Standing up, shoving the table hard into Roman’s hip leaving him gasping in pain.

By the time he’s limped his way to Virgil’s house the sun is high in the sky. Patton suggests lazy nap time in the tree house and just looking at the ladder makes Roman want to vomit.

It’s such a beautiful day Padre he crys, lets lie amongst the wildflowers like the majestic forest nymphs we are.

Its literally just grass Virgil sighs but Patton laughs and Roman lowers himself stiffly down. Carefully keeps the pain out of his face as his hip makes contact with the ground. Turns away from them whilst he grits his teeth through it, ostensibly napping until Virgil says

Hey, how’d you get that scar?

   -

“Roman?”

Virgil and Patton were both staring at him. Shit Roman thought. How long had he been day-dreaming? Day-reminiscing? Day-

“Earth to Roman.” Patton again, there was crinkle of concern between his eyebrows and that wouldn’t do at all.

“Well-“ Roman boomed in his best dramatic bellow, what Virgil call his ‘Prince Roman’ voice: “I am afraid I will have to disappoint you my friends, twins are not bound by your foolish ‘older sibling’ ‘younger sibling’ stereotypes”

“I mean, technically, one of you is the older sibling” Virgil muttered while Patton laughed “you’re seriously telling me neither of you ever did something dumb and got the other one hurt?”

“Virgil Madelaine McAlister-“

“Not my middle name.”

“-I will have you know that I have never done anything dumb. Ever. In my life!” he punctuated that statement with a dramatic point to the heavens. Patton was now laughing hard enough that Roman was fairly sure he should be offended and Virgil was fighting a smirk.

“You really never fight?”

“We’re a united front.” Drop it, drop it please just drop it he chanted internally.

And then, miracle of miracles, Virgil did. Letting himself flop back to the ground with a soft ‘humph’.

“It must be nice to have a twin” Patton said a little wistfully. Careful he arranged himself back on the ground so his head was cushioned on Virgil’s stomach. “you’re basically born with a ready-made friend!”

“And you get to do everything together” Virgil murmured a faint blush on his face and one hand hovering in the vicinity of Patton’s hair. “No one has to get left behind when one goes off to college.”

Roman glanced down at him, worried, but Virgil just met his gaze softly, one side of his mouth pulling up into one of his rare sweet smiles. “You’re so lucky Roman.”

Roman nodded. Ignored the quick flare of pain in his hip as he laid himself back down in the grass. He let out a contented sigh as the warmth of the ground sunk into his bones, soothing the ache

“Very lucky.” He agreed quietly.