#and I have literal insomnia so even if I hadn't read the fanfic or mentally gone through every single possible outcome
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6am and still awake... yay
#I need to be up by 10 at the latest for an appointment like come ON brain#please just SHUT UP#I've gone full circle from discouraging myself from acting on the potential crush to being determined to do something tomorrow#and get it out of the way and then cycled right back to discouraging myself and thinking of worst case scenarios#that's not all I've been doing. I already read like 10K words of a fanfic#involving a character that shares his name... ok but in my defense this name is COMMON like one of the most common.#and this character's ship is one I've shipped for literal years so no it's not because of the crush#the crush maybe just brought that ship back to the forefront of my mind again... but literally I had a tab in my phone of the ap3 tag#*ao3 tag#but yeah this ship is already a longtime otp so seriously the name thing is truly a coincidence#and I have literal insomnia so even if I hadn't read the fanfic or mentally gone through every single possible outcome#I'd still be lying awake at 6am. maybe 5am instead without all that. maybe.
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