#and I feel like I'm being driven insane after maybe half an hour of fronting and dealing with this

[thethingything]

okay we're gonna have to call the pharmacy tomorrow because I don't think we can keep taking these meds.

I can't begin to convey how bad we feel or describe how we feel mentally. this is probably the most ill we've felt all year and considering we've had covid twice I think that's saying something.

it's triggered our psychosis, derealisation, depersonalisation, and just general dissociative symptoms way worse than we'd normally get. our mouth constantly tastes like we've just chomped down on some paracetamol. we can smell smoke really strongly but nobody else in the house can smell it. we've got the worst digestive side effects I can remember having from any medication. we can't stop shaking and the physical symptoms get so bad we just completely zone out and stop registering anything for a while. it feels like we're drunk and high and completely disconnected from reality while also being emotionally numb except for the distress from the physical symptoms and pretty much everything from the last 6 hours has been a blur because our brain just isn't processing what's happening.

every time I've been around the front today 🍬 has either been sobbing and begging for it to stop, or on the verge of screaming from how bad the stomach cramps get.

I'm hesitant to even take the 2nd dose of it but in the time between now and when we could call a pharmacy we'd have to take 2 doses and I'm also hesitant to just stop taking an antibiotic without getting medical advice. I don't know whether to just take it and hope for the best but I'd feel so guilty doing that knowing 🍬's the one stuck fronting and having to deal with this that I'm genuinely not sure I can do that

[sword-brainrot]

Hello~! I'm the Anon who asked for the Saniwa with the part-time job.

Don't worry hc were enough! I don't want to cause more work for you :3

But those hc were good! Can I ask for the same thing but with Yagen Toushirou, Minamoto Kyomaru and Suishinshi Masahide!

Thank you ^^

Hello again!! I'm so happy that you enjoyed the previous ones!! They are always such a blast to write.

TW: violence, blood, burns/scars, S*icide mention

♡  Yagen wouldn't be at your café often but would show up from time to time. Normally when he was with some of his younger siblings (only like two because OH GOD). He would often be busy at the citadel doing any work you assigned him for that day or working on new medicine.

♡  Yagen has rarely any time to take a break. He is very much so a workaholic. You will always see him working on something, so it takes his brothers a lot of begging to get him to stop. When they do, it's to go to the café where you work. A lot of the younger swords miss you a lot when you are not at home.

♡  Yagen will take the chance of coming to visit you as a chance to buy stuff at stories for medicines he is working on or maybe a book to help him study. So often times, they will come into the café with some bags that he bought just before coming in.

♡  He will make sure that his younger siblings don't bother you when you are working! He will buy them a small dessert while ordering some tea for himself. He doesn't want to cause more trouble for you because he knows you are working hard to support everyone at the citadel and really admires you for it.

♡  That being said, he does worry about you a lot. Don't be surprised if you feel eyes on you while you work. As soon as you look over at him, he will advert his eyes and pretend he was just reading. In actuality he was trying to study your body language and facial expressions to make sure you aren't overworking yourself.

♡  They will stay at your café for about an hour, at most. Before he gathers them up and says one last goodbye before taking them home.

♡  When you do get home, you are not allowed to work all that much. He understands you have to do paperwork and assign jobs for the swords but he will make extra sure you are taking breaks and eating properly. So don't be surprised if you see him much more often around you after you get back. He will make sure to bring you tea, snacks, and maybe some sleeping medicine at night if you can't fall asleep.

♡  Customers are relatively patient and understanding, so he often doesn't have to worry all that much when you are working.

♡  So expect a very shocked Yagen walking into the café and seeing hot coffee being poured on you when the customer gets so angry for getting the order wrong. Shock quickly turns into pure anger. He will push his younger siblings away before dashing over to the scene.

♡  Yagen is one of the fastest Tantous. You won't even see him. It will be a blur in front of your eyes before you finally realize that Yagen had just dashed from the door to the other side of the café and right into the man. The man now knocked out, laying against the wall he was just driven into by Yagen.

♡  The anger quickly fades from his face since the man is no longer his concern. His attention is quickly brought over to you, worry on his face and he doesn't even attempt to hide it. His gloved hands with quickly find yours, and guide you quickly to the back to help you.

♡  His siblings will follow the both of you, very concerned about you. Expect Yagen to be very quiet during this time. It will be mostly his younger siblings asking you if you are okay and having small talk to you.

♡  Yagen will hold you very gently as immerse the burns in cool water. His treatment is fast but gentle. He won't look at you in the eyes as he puts on the lotion and bandages the burn. The most he will say will asking his siblings to be a little more quiet and careful around you.

♡  The first time he will look at you will be when he gives you a pill to relieve the pain that you must be feeling. His eyes will still look insanely worried for you and you will see his mouth in a straight line, as if he is holding back emotions. He can't let you or his siblings see him cry.

♡  Yagen had to see many people hurt, almost all of them being people he cares about deeply. Sometimes, they wouldn't make it and break/pass away. He knows you are fully human and a little more fragile than him and the rest of the swords. It is only then, when seeing you hurt, does he realize how terrified he is about losing you.

♡  Yagen had lost his previous master and his mastered used him to die. He doesn't want to lose you too. He is no longer just a blade, he can make sure he can protect you.

♡  After his emotions are more under control, he will declare; "My siblings care about you a lot. All the swords care about you a lot." He will look down as he continues, "I care about you a lot. So get better soon and when situations like that happen and get too dangerous... It's okay to run away and rely on us. It doesn't make you weak. So don't go pushing yourself too far or else I won't forgive you. There is only so much I can help heal..."

♡  When you get home, you will have your own personal nurse around. Yagen will be around much more now. He will make sure you have everything you need and make sure you aren't working too much so your wounds can heal. He is also going to be the sword that is constantly changing your bandages and making sure you are taking your medicine and resting. He isn't going to allow him to back sass him either. You are following HIS orders until you fully heal.

♡  He isn't going to prevent you from working or going back to the café, though. He knows you are responsible and will do what you wish but he wants you to be aware that everyone cares about you and will be there if you need them. As well as not pushing yourself too far.

♡  Minamoto will often times show up at the café! Normally in the afternoon with Suishinshi. Minamoto often challenges poor Suishinshi at the arcade and whoever loses has to pay for the winner's food and drink. Let's just say... Minamoto isn't the one paying often and you see a very angry sword hiding half his face in his collar because of it.

♡  Minamoto thinks it's great that you are working in the café because it seems like something you really enjoy doing! Even if it's stressful sometimes. He honestly wishes he could also work with you and help out around the café but knows that working there is on a strict schedule that he just can't follow due to being a Touken Danshi (sword warrior). He has to be prepared to work around the citadel or go off to missions any moment you say the word. He respects that too.

♡  Doesn't mean he doesn't do his own work though! He actually gets paid to win stuffed animals from claw machines for people and sometimes enters gaming tournaments around the town to try to win some money for you and the citadel. He wants to help too! In his own special way.

♡  Speaking of that, he is very good at claw machines! So if he knows you like a certain animal or character (or maybe he just thinks it's cute), he will win it for you and show it to you when he gets to the café to surprise you and bring up your day! He knows you two can't talk much while you are working but he wants to make you smile any way he can and brighten your stressful day.

♡  Even though he shows up often to the café, he doesn't stay too long. He doesn't want to take up too much of your time when he knows you are busy. He wants to relieve your stress, not add onto it.

♡  Minamoto will try to make you some of the drinks or desserts back at the citadel for when you return! It... does not taste the same. He can make it look pretty! The taste is lacking though. It's the thought that counts. He would love it if you two cook together and you teach him how to make it! Anything to get your mind off work and just enjoy your time away from it. Bonus points if you actually enjoy cooking.

♡  As everyone knows, Minamoto is actually a pretty chill person. He doesn't look for a fight and eager to welcome anyone new and let them know that he respects them. That being said, his emotions sometimes gets the best of him and doesn't want to confront them directly which might come off more passive aggressive.

♡  I bring this up because the side he shows when everything goes down will not be a pretty one.

♡  He will be having a little chat with Suishinshi as they enjoy their drinks (Suishinshi with black coffee where every time he takes a sip, it looks like he is getting hit but he has to look mature. And Minamoto with a very sweet smoothie that could probably rot your teeth if you're not careful) but then will hear the loud commotion coming not too far from them. As soon as Minamoto sees that it's you that is involved, he rushes to get up and protect you. Not wasting any moments and nearly throwing the table on it's side. The drinks that were on it, broken, on the floor.

♡  Even though he rushed, he witnesses you getting the hot coffee poured on you right in front of him. Just a little too slow to get there. Horror will be written on his face as he turns his attention to the man who just did that to you.

♡  Fury. The man lasts no chance before Minamoto has him on the floor and letting his anger get the best of him.

♡  It is Suishinshi that urges you to go into the back with a follow coworker to get your wounds handled. It is also Suishinshi that pulls Minamoto off the customer. The once angry customer is now beaten and bleeding badly. However he is still conscious and rushes to get away from the swords. Suishinshi understands how his friend his feeling but knows that he can't let his anger get the best of him... Not here.

♡  Suishinshi will be the one that goes into the back to see you and take you home. Minamoto will be no where to be found. He has to cool off before he can see you.

♡  You will find him much later, on the rooftop looking at the stars. He will be much more quiet than ever before and won't look at you if you sit next to him. It will take a while before you can hear his voice that sounds stressed, as if not wanting to let more emotions get out.

♡  "You should of ran. You didn't have to take what he was saying... You-" He would pause as he grips his cloak, "You didn't have to see that side of me."

♡  He doesn't mean to blame you and would apologize a lot when he realizes it comes off like that. He knows that it isn't /your/ fault. He has a lot of emotions welling inside of him as he thinks about the incident and now seeing your skin bandaged. He never wanted to see you hurt like that.

♡  If you touch him and get close, everything he was holding back would just break. He would be sobbing into your shoulder as he expressed how he was so scared that he was going to lose you and not protect you. How he wanted to not cause more stress for you but ended up being useless and causing so much more stress and hurt onto you. His hug will be tight but gentle to make sure to not touch any of the wounded areas.

♡  He cares about you a lot that sometimes he doesn't know how to react to some of his more darker emotions. He didn't mean for today to turn out like that. He promises to be better and make sure to never let his anger get the best of him like that again.

♡  Like stated above, Suishinshi comes to the café often with Minamoto! He will often complained that Minamoto dragged him along but in actuality, it was Suishinshi dragging Minamoto. Though, you don't need to know that he misses you often when you aren't in the citadel. He will keep that secret just between him and Minamoto. Minamoto knows not to tease him about it because he will get defensive and just not go, then gets all depressed for not seeing you. So instead, he just smiles and goes along with it. Anything for his best friend.

♡  Suishinshi still often pays for the meals and drinks when they go because Minamoto still brings him along to the arcade. If he wants to see you so bad, he has to play a few rounds with Minamoto.

♡  Although he is often angry about losing, he does cheer up quite a bit when you come over and smile at them before asking for their order. You may even see a small blush on his cheeks that he tries to hide with his collar.

♡  He still orders black coffee even though it is very clear he does not like it, at all. He wants to impress you and show you that he is very mature and can handle bitter foods/drinks! Though you can see Minamoto often laughing at him for trying to drink his cup and making a face each time... HE WILL DRINK IT ALL. He will not back down.

♡  Even after Suishinshi and Minamoto leave after their order, you will find him outside the café around closing time. He will act like he just came back to do some shopping but he will not be holding anything. He is really just looking for an excuse to be with just you and walk you home after work. Don't point it out, he has an image to uphold!!

♡  Will wrap his cloak/jacket around you if it's cold when you both are walking home. "You shaking so much is distracting me, just take it". You won't even be shaking but he will say you were anyway. His cloak/jacket is very warm! Personal heater sword right there. Though he gets cold often but will still want you to swear the cloak/jacket.

♡  Don't be too surprised if you still him glaring at other customers when he is in the café. If he sees anyone looking at you in interest, his eyes are locked on them and he is giving them the death glare. He won't stop until they get the note. If you ask him about it, he will reply very bluntly to you with "I don't like their face."

♡  He can be very rude to those not important to him. Especially those that are trying to do something with his master.

♡  He is trying to get better at expressing his emotions! Emphasis on try. Sometimes when you both just get home and you both are hanging up your coat, hat, and taking off your shoes, he will mutter very softly for you to hear; "Good work today" before running off. You can't even ask what he said or thank him because he is already gone by the time you hear it and look over to him.

♡  He wants you to know that he supports you in everything you do but is really bad at putting that into words. Even worst with confronting you directly about it without running away. Just know that he means it every time he does get it out! He cares about you a lot more than he is able to express.

♡  So when he sees someone causing you trouble in the café one day? Oh no... He doesn't wait and gets up right away. Minamoto is the one that tries to calm him down, saying that aruji (master) can handle it. They are very capable on their own as well! That is the only reason that Suishinshi hesitates for a moment.

♡  But it is in that moment when the situation grows dire and coffee gets splashed onto you. Both swords stand there in shock for a moment before rushing forward. Suishinshi wastes no further moments and quickly knees the customer in the stomach to make them topple over, onto the ground.

♡  However, he doesn't focus on them. Instead, he turns his attention onto you and gently grabs you to rush you into the back. Minamoto is the one that deals with the violent customer (this time a little more calm but still seething).

♡  "It's okay. It's okay.." He will keep repeating as he puts cold water on your burns. You are unsure if he is trying to reassure you or himself. You will see him on the slight panic mode as he tries to help your wounds. Him shaking rather bad and dropping any item he tries to hold and help. A coworker will have to come in and actually help bandage and take care of your wounds as Suishinshi is escorted out to calm down.

♡  As soon as you come out of the room, now bandaged up, you will see him pacing back and forth in the cafe. Minamoto trying to get him to sit down and breathe. As soon as he hears the door open, his eyes shoot over to you and he runs over. Grasping you gently as he starts to go on a tangent.

♡  "A-are you okay? Are you hurt badly? Can you walk? Oh god that was dumb, of course you can. How are your eyes? Can you see? How many fingers am I holding up? Do you remember my name? My liege, do you know how worried I was about you? You shouldn't of..." He would stop and look down at the ground as he tries to catch his breath that he wasn't aware he was holding, "You shouldn't of been the one that got hurt. I should of taken the hit and your pain. I am sorry for failing you as your sword. I have no right to the title of Touken Danshi."

♡  Don't expect to continue working for a while. Suishinshi is normally one to not give affection openly but after that incident, good luck getting rid of him from your side. He will be constantly trying to help you around the citadel and not letting you touch almost anything that could hurt you.

♡  Also expect him to constantly be cuddling with you (if you allow it). It is more for him than you. He wants to make sure he doesn't lose you and protect you.

♡  There will be times where he is cuddling you from behind, with his chin resting on your shoulder and another sword will come in, telling you about missions reports. Suishinshi will be glaring at them from your shoulder. Almost like a feral cat trying to tell people to leave their owner alone.

♡  Suishinshi will say that he won't allow you to go back to work but if you really wanted to, you could. He is just very paranoid of a similar incident happening again.

♡  When/if you do start working again, expect him to be there everyday for the first good while. He won't use Minamoto as an excuse anymore and will just be there by himself. He wants to make sure to protect you! It will take a long time before he will actually distance himself from you and not be at your side all the time. You might have to talk to him to let him know that it will be okay and that it won't happen again. Even then, he will be scared and still show up fairly often. He will break the habit overtime!