#and I feel like I’m the only one really trying with the guy I been talking to
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so all you need to do right now is disappear.
HHHHAPPY ISATVERSARY EVERYONE. here’s redraws for every single battle cg in the game. 36 drawings this time around, with 11 of those being custom (though admittedly a good portion of those are edits). combined with the portrait redraws i made back in september, i’ve made 114 redraws for this project! jesus christ! just like those redraws, these are completely free to use!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go wild!! do whatever you want!!!
no i didn’t make these for isat’s 1 year anniversary this is just wildly good timing.
i genuinely can’t fit all of these cgs in one post even with the 30 image limit on browser, but i’ll still try to fit Most of them below the cut (without making this post horrifically long), along with some notes that might be important 👍
okay! once again, i labeled all of the custom art as such in the drive, but if you want a full list, the customs are hatless siffrin jackpot, bonnie jackpot, bonnie special attack, bigfrin attack, and a bunch of alts which are definitely not related to any projects i’ve been thinking about don’t worry about it. and out of those customs, only like. 3 of them are actually completely from scratch.
while i did my absolute best to keep the aspect ratios completely the same as the originals, there’s 3 exceptions that i just couldn’t get to work.
isabeau’s hair in his special attack cg wouldn’t fit in frame if i kept things completely accurate to the og, so i moved his cg down a bit. it shouldn’t cause any issues with modding or anything, it’ll just appear slightly lower than it does in game. alas…
isabeau’s sleeve and mirabelle’s hair made their jackpot sprites a little larger than the originals? i’m hoping this doesn’t have too much of an effect (since the jackpot sprites have inconsistent sizes) but i can’t test this myself unfortunately. aaa feel free to let me know on discord if any problems arise!!
i managed to fix these, so they aren’t going to cause problems now, but my original drawings for mirabelle and siffrin in the final attack scene were a pain in the ass to fix. mirabelle’s sprite was slightly too talk to fit in frame and siffrin’s hat whacked bonnie in the face while i was editing everyone together. i’m only mentioning this because it took like an hour and a half to fix them and finish the scene.
all that aside, these were a fucking BLAST to work on. apparently this ended up taking 57 hours over exactly 10 days. which is a little worrying if you do the math on that but somehow i have not burnt myself out. i will be doing enemies at some point!!! but probably not for a little bit. i think my friends will actually kill me if i don’t take a break.
once again, happy birthday isat. you’ve ruined my life and i wouldn’t have it any other way (silly).
also, on an actual serious note, this little timeloop game has genuinely changed my life for the better? you guys are probably sick of hearing it at this point (or maybe not, i don’t talk about myself That Much. i hope), but i was practically a ghost for about 2 years before joining this fandom. it’s a little surreal to suddenly have friends (plural!!!) and people who Care about me, or even know i exist, honestly. it’s weird!! in a good way!!!
i don’t think i would’ve ever come back to social media if this community wasn’t so welcoming. i’ve met a lot of really great people through this game!!! so, uh, thank you isat, i guess. here’s to another year.
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#also for full transparency. the sadness death redraw is effectively just a trace job. i’m not super happy with it because of thag#but i think i would be Killed if i tried to redo it. i dunno. maybe ill try to change it when i do sadnesses. maybe not.#besides that GOD im really happy with how these turned out#bigfrin was a last minute addition but i think he turned out fantastic#bonnie’s special attack isn’t my Favorite but i think it turned out pretty well considering the Struggle#gggod. trying to make a heavily foreshortened pose that still feels dynamic is really hard. how did id5 do this.#also don’t. worry about the Extra custom sprites that’re in there. i’m not planning anything.#happy isatversary everyone.#i blow away in the wind
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Eddie drunkenly calls Buck from wine night, confesses some things. On ao3 here.
Eddie calls him at 11:34 pm, and it’s a Thursday, so that means a few things. It’s wine night, the biggest thing. It’s wine night, at Hen and Karen’s, and he knows those start around dinner time so Eddie’s got several hours of alcohol in him. It’s 11:34 pm and Buck got off work at 10:45, another thing, so it’s a toss up whether Eddie timed the call to when he was walking through the door (a feat possible after years of going back and forth between the station, the loft, and the Diaz house at all times of day and night) or if it’s just a drunken coincidence.
“Hello,” Buck answers the phone, dragging out the first half of the word, tossing his keys into the bowl on the counter.
“Buck,” Eddie says, voice bright and not very slurred, but he’s only said one word so far, and Buck sometimes secretly thinks he could probably say his name pretty steadily no matter the situation. Buck is pretty sure he could be all drunk or half dead and still be able to say Eddie just fine, anyway. “Hello. Are you home from, did you get home from work?”
Ah, so, somewhat drunk then. “Did indeed. You still at the Wilsons?”
“Did you, uh- was there fire?” Eddie sounds like he’s trying very hard to sound normal. Buck bites his lip against a snort.
“No fires. Just a half shift, remember. Pretty boring one, honestly.” I missed you probably isn’t fair to say, Buck covered the shift of his own volition, he could have been at wine night if he really wanted. But Donovan’s sister had a baby, what was he gonna do, not let the guy meet his niece? “Hope you had a better time.”
“Great time,” Eddie says, enthusiastic. “They had, uh, mini quiches.”
Buck grins at the empty room. “You’re a man who loves a mini quiche.”
A few seconds of whooshy silence where Buck assumes Eddie is nodding enthusiastically. “The- uh- they had the bacon kind. The kind, and with the- you know, there’s spinach? Can we go to Costco?”
“Sure,” Buck agrees, opening his admittedly pretty sparsely populated fridge. “Could use a grocery run.”
“And get the, get more quiches?”
Buck grabs a protein bar, smiling as fondly as he wants to with no one around to see him. “Yeah, Eds, we’ll get more quiches.”
“And you’ll take the spinach ones? And I get the good ones?”
Buck laughs. “The spinach ones are good. You can barely even taste the spinach, they’re just, like, warm and eggy.”
“Mmm,” Eddie says, doubtfully. “It’s not nice to lie, Buckley.”
“I’m not fucking lying,” Buck cackles. “Your spinach hatred is so unfair, what’d it ever do to you?”
“Taste bad,” Eddie says, adding a blegh sound for emphasis. “It’s like- like- it’s gross, I don’t believe you actually like it, actually. You just want to eat grown up food.”
Buck snorts. “Man, I hate to break it to you, we both turn 34 this year.”
“And I don’t feel like I have to prove that to anybody by eating nasty food,” Eddie says, nose definitely in the air. Buck shakes his head and takes a bite of the protein bar.
“Whatever, man. You just have to live with the fact that Chris is the one sneaking vegetables into your food.”
“You’re so mean. I’m not letting you have any of my actually good quiches.” Empty threat, they always end up sharing, both of them know it. “That’s not even what I called about. That’s not even-“ Eddie huffs so hard it sounds all crackly in Buck’s ear. “I called to tell you that I love you.”
Buck grins. Oh boy, affectionate drunk Eddie is here. He’d wondered just how much wine they’d got through and it seems like Eddie must be nearly a bottle in. “Aw, love you too, bud.”
“No,” Eddie says, and Buck can see the frown from here. “Buck. Listen. I’m in love with you.”
Oh. God. Oh god. “Uh-“ Buck says, stomach swooping all over the fucking place, “Uh- I don’t think this is a conversation we should be having while you’re-“
“Oh, fuck off, shut up. Shut up. It’s fine.”
“Eddie-”
“Buck,” Eddie says, in the annoyed voice he uses when Buck is trying to get him to eat yogurt with his fruit in the morning, or even a dastardly spinach quiche. “It’s fine. It’s fine. I knew you’d- why- stop it. Listen. I feel like this all the time. It’s stupid that I’ve never, like, I never just say this all the time. You’re, like-”
Eddie cuts himself off and Buck waits — sort of fearfully — for him to continue, but the silence keeps stretching on. Buck knows the other side effect of this level on the Eddie Diaz Drunkenness Scale is heightened distractibility, so he probably noticed a nice color or perhaps a bug. They spent a good twenty minutes hanging out with a grasshopper at Hen and Karen’s wedding towards the end of the night, because it was a lovely shade of green and a funny little guy. Oh god, Buck thinks again. I love this man. I love this man a ridiculous amount and we should absolutely wait to talk about it.
But: “You’re tall and you’re in my house,” Eddie says before Buck can do anything to stop him.
“I’m-” Buck glances around the loft. “Eds, I’m at my place.”
“What?” He sounds so indignant that Buck has to cover his mouth to hold a laugh in. “Why?”
“‘Cause I live here?”
“That’s stupid. You should live with me in my house.”
“Should I?” Buck asks, laugh escaping a little bit. “Also, wait, what does me being tall have to do with it?”
Eddie sighs, long and exasperated. “If you live with me you never have to go home and leave me because you’re already at my house. Your house. If you live with me you never have to go anywhere.”
“Never have to go anywhere?” Buck thinks he’s in shock, maybe, about all of this, but teasing Eddie is something that’s always easy to fall into. “I don’t have a job in this scenario?”
“Well you’d go to work. And other places. But you just come back to me all the time.”
“I’d like to come back to you all the time,” Buck says, choking a little on how simply it explains every ache in him. “Eddie-“
“And you’re tall because… it matters because you’re tall because…” Eddie’s voice is soft, his breathing is soft. Buck wonders where he is in Hen and Karen’s house. In a hallway, tucked away from everyone, the nice light from the stained glass lamp they have there warm on his face? On the back porch, out in the cool night air? Buck wants to tell him to come home, wants to make sure he’s warm. “I never had to look up at anybody before.”
“I’ve got like two inches on you,” Buck replies, but his voice is pretty quiet.
“It’s a big two inches,” Eddie says, just as soft. Then, also quiet but of an entirely different flavor, “That's- Sorry- that's what she said.”
“That's-” Buck snorts. “What-” and then giddy laughter bursts up out of him, baking soda and vinegar, foamy and ticklish. He cackles till he’s breathless, listening to Eddie’s responding chuckles over the line, and sinks down to the floor, back against the kitchen island. “You’re so fucking stupid.”
“I scored better on my certification exams than you.”
“That’s not even true!” Buck protests over Eddie’s continuing laughter. “Only in two categories!”
“Overall percentage was higher!” Eddie reminds him, as he does every time they have this argument.
“Well, I remember building construction and related hazards better than you and that’s written down on official paper somewhere.”
“Not fair,” Eddie says, as he always says. “You- you did- you built those. Unfair advantage.”
“I think you’re overselling the kind of experience I got in a few months working construction like a decade ago.”
“It wasn’t a decade when you took the tests,” Eddie points out. “Whatever. Nevermind. And I don’t want to sound like- you’re good at remembering things. You’re not stupid. I don’t want to sound like you are.”
Buck taps his boot against the sink counter in front of him. “I know. You’re not either.”
“I know,” Eddie says, soft again. “But your hands are big, and… you’ve got stubble sometimes, and…” he trails off into just breathing on the other end of the line for several long moments. “Buck,” Eddie whispers in sleepover voice. “Have you ever kissed a boy before?”
“Yeah,” Buck says, knowing Eddie knows this, but playing along anyway. “I have.”
“What's it like?”
Buck hums, closes his eyes. He thinks about the few guys he’d made out with but never followed home when he got to Los Angeles. Thinks about the room he’d crashed in with Connor in Peru, with it’s one mattress and both their clothes living in suitcases because they were too broke to buy any other furniture. He’s still got a t-shirt for a school he never went to, a few sizes too small. The way they hadn’t shared a room once they were in LA, the girls Connor started seeing. He thinks about John from the ranch who left town the next day. He thinks about high school, Len McGuinty under the bleachers in the summer before senior year, both of them giggling and half terrified and the way they’d pretended to barely know each other when school started back up. Hard jawlines and stubble and muscles and height. Having something, for however long you get to have it. Wanting something, very badly. He opens his eyes and it’s almost a surprise that he’s still in the loft. That he’s not at Eddie’s house. All the time in the world there wouldn’t be enough. “It’s good, Eddie. It feels good.”
“Buck,” Eddie breathes, shivery.
“I want to live in your home all the time, and never have to go anywhere,” Buck says, repeats. “I’ll kiss you, if you want.”
“Buck-”
“I’ll love you, if you want.” Eddie is still drunk, Buck tries to remind himself. But it might actually kill him not to say it out loud when Eddie had said he feels like this all the time. How could he not say he feels like this all the time, too? “I’ll love you back. I love you back. I’ll eat all the spinach quiches for you.”
“Buck,” Eddie says, and Buck doesn’t know what expression is on his face, doesn’t know what look is tied to this tone of voice. Is desperate to find out. Quiet down the line for a few moments. And then: “It’s late.”
Buck pulls his phone away from his ear for a second to check the time. Nearly midnight. “Yeah.” His hands feel clammy. It was too much. They should have waited to talk. Eddie wants out now, and that’s fine. Buck will —somehow, skin of his teeth — find a way to be fine with that.
But: “I want to go home,” Eddie says. “Buck. Come and take me home.”
“And then-”
“And then stay.”
“Okay,” Buck gets to his feet, tosses the half eaten bar in the trash. Eddie’s house has food. His home has things to eat.
“Okay,” Eddie says, confident now, everything decided, everything for sure. “I’ll see you soon.
“Minutes,” Buck says, grabbing his keys, half running to the door. “I’ll be there in minutes.”
“Minutes,” Eddie says back. And Buck can hear his smile.
#my writing#your lives are spared from buck mcd a little longer#man i started writing this before bi buck was a real thing!! thats crazy!! he’s bi for real now and has kissed a real dude!#slowly. slowly. one day. i will do all the prompts from that soft prompts list. i should probably post the ones I haven’t done again#let you guys send requests in#i think i might actually still have some in my inbox but again. from like a full calendar year ago#so I’ll give you another opportunity
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Tamed: Sukuna x Fem!Reader
⟢ CW!!: NSFW MDNI, 3.8k words, not proofread, excuse typos.. Freak frat boy Sukuna, virgin fem reader, college au, attempts of plot, no protection WRAP IT UP CHAT!!!, first time, cunnilingus, girl idk if thats all. You get the idea!! Virgin pussy so good you domesticated your whore of a best friend.
⟢🐝notes: this is my first time trying to do like, a full-fleshed fic so it might be a little rough…hope you enjoy tho!!!
The HC that this was based off of here!
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“Hey, girl. You’re Sukuna’s friend right”. Not only has this girl been your lab partner all semester, but you guys also shared classes freshman year. You rolled your eyes because you know what’s coming next. Sukuna and you have been friends since junior year of high school. You got stuck with him for a project and you guys kind of just stuck. Sukuna also has a reputation for himself, being the class whore, even in high school, but since you guys started college it's gotten..so much worse. Even when he was a freshman the senior girls wanted a piece of him.
You on the other hand were not as familiar in his field of expertise. Sure there were boyfriends here and there but you never went ALL the way, they were too eager to get their dicks wet and didn't care anything about your pleasure, so the virginity is still intact!!
“Yes I know him, no he doesn’t want you, he’s with someone” It wasn't an entire lie. He was always down for a good fuck and he changes girls like clockwork, but he mentioned “scoring a hottie” earlier. The girl’s smile and friendly attitude towards you disappeared as if it was never there. Really it was annoying, dealing with your best friend’s shit. At this point, he needs to make announcements when he’s ready for the next girl.
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“Sukuna I swear to every god out there, if one more girl approaches me trying to get in your pants, I'm killing you and them myself” He’s lying across your dorm bed scrolling through his phone. When he is not on his freak nasty agenda, he could be found in your room. You were able to score a single and he isn’t all too fond of his roommate. Seemingly not really listening to you he continues to scroll, causing you to kick his side. He thought it was funny, cute almost, how upset you got over this. It was the same argument every other week. He just wishes it came from a place of jealousy not inconvenience.
“Woman I have no control over that. Not my fault this dick makes them crazy” he smirks at you making you scoff.
“God you're disgusting...get off my covers you’re dirty” you playfully(kind of) try and kick him off the foot of your bed. He quickly grabs your feet and pins them under his body, not budging despite your attempts to pull them free.
“Don't be grouchy cuz you haven't gotten laid yet, brat”
“Girl you fuck enough for the both of us, and like five more people. I’m good, trust.” You put emphasis on the last bit as you finally tug your feet free. “freak…”
“Anyways, look this was the girl I was telling you about” He shows you an Instagram page on his phone. Sukuna looked for any flash of jealousy in your face, but you gave him nothing. You used to like him back in High school, but liking him hurt too much. With every new girl and every story he’d tell you of said girl ripped away at you. To protect yourself you buried that feeling way way WAY deep down and you're fine with your relationship as it is now. Now you were indifferent, it's his life. Whatever.
“Oh she’s pretty, how long is this one gonna last tho”
“Don't know. She’s fine as fuck so maybe two weeks?” Again, no reaction to his statement, at least not the one he wanted. Sukuna? oh sukuna wanted you bad, but you never showed interest, if anything it felt like the opposite, and he didn't want to mess up what he did have with you, so he never pushed.
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For the next couple of days you've been, unwillingly, thinking about sex. Blame ovulation or blame the overwhelming talk of sex in your friend group ever since your best friend lost her virginity. But you really saw no point in trying again, with how disappointing and unwilling all your past intimate (if you can even call it that) experiences have been. The talk you had with Gojo didn’t help either. You made a small comment and he poked and prodded until you spilled everything, even the part that you’ve been craving that experience.
“Well, you could ask Toji, You know that one senior. I heard he loves virgins!” That’s what the idiot told you, sure was a joke, but it could work. Toji, much like sukuna, has a reputation for being a campus whore, but his favorite go-to-girls, were virgins. He always boasted about all the V-cards he took, and how good he was at it, ruining them for their future partners. But what has also been running through your mind was what Shoko told you.
“It would be better if you had sex with someone you trust?”
“You’ve been friends with Sukuna for a long time, no? Why not him?” suguru added. You sat on that for a long time too. Sukuna was your best friend, and you do trust him. From the stories he’s told you himself you wouldn’t be left disappointed. The thing is, Sukuna never showed interest in you, strictly platonic. Sure he never gave up the chance of a good fuck, but with you being a virgin or him not seeing you in that light because of your friendship, the “what ifs” drove you insane, but after much deliberation, you came up with a conclusion, and hey, the worst he could do is say no. You got to your dorm and built up the courage to call him.
“Oh?? I thought you were avoiding me. You miss me now?” you could hear the annoying smirk on his face.
“You know what never mind” you were ready to hang up, deciding on plan B, but as you pulled your phone away he interrupted.
“Okay okay, what's up?” Sukuna always dropped whatever he was doing for you, even if that meant not hooking up with the girl he was telling you about. He quickly pushed her out ignoring all her protests and angry huffs. Maybe you saved him cuz her whining was pissing him off.
“Can you come over?” Your face burned knowing what you were going to ask once he got there. You were determined to get it over with, and you had a plan B if he said no. no biggy no biggy… you just need to ask your best friend to fuck you.
Sukuna arrived at your door quicker than you expected (he was already on his way to your dorm before you even asked him to go over). Opening the door, you let him in and he immediately got comfortable sitting on the edge of your bed.
“Okay, so what's up?” He’s pretending to be normal about it. But with the way you sounded over the phone he was thinking a million things and expecting nothing at the same time, but what you would say next will stop his heart.
“Let me speak, no interruptions.” You waited for confirmation, catching on Sukuna nodded and waited for you to continue. It was like floodgates opened the way you confessed “Okay good. So… I want to lose my virginity. And, and I trust you the most out of everyone I know. It's okay if you say no, I won't take it to heart and besides, I have a plan B so it’s totally, totally fine.” it didn't feel as bad once you finished, although you didn't mean to add that last part. What happens, happens. You're comfortable with your relationship with sukuna so this should mean nothing to him, so you thought. Sukuna on the other hand, was not feeling the same relief, well he was until you mentioned a plan B.
“Plan B? And who the fuck is that” he stood up towering over you, eyebrow arched.
“Oh well, gojo told me about Toji..you know him” The way he looked down on you was doing something, you felt something you hadn’t felt from another person in a while, Arousal.
“Gojo is an idiot don't ever take advice from him” Sukuna regained a little of his composure after recalling your words. So he was plan A? “So you want me to fuck you, baby?” his hands found their way to your waist, pulling you to his chest. He liked the way you looked up at him.
“Yes..” it came out barely a whisper, but sukuna wasn't having that.
“Sorry? What was that?” he leaned his ear down towards you. Oh so he’s gonna tease? You should have known.
“damn it.. Fuck, Yes, Sukuna. I want you” The words came out so breathy and desperate it surprised you. Sukuna noticed it as well and that fueled him even more as he slid his hands under your shirt and up your back. His warm hands felt like fire across your skin. He pushed you flush against his chest as his lips brushed against yours, breath fanning your face.
“You gonna undress or do you want me to do it for you” a snicker left his lips as he watched you pout.
“Kuna be nice…” but nonetheless you stepped back and slowly peeled off each article of clothing, revealing more and more to sukuna. The tightening in his pants became more apparent once he saw you completely bare. He knew you'd be beautiful, but this level of imperfection felt illegal. Every peak and curve of yours looked so plush and soft, he wanted to kiss every inch of you. He wanted to caress your hips and feel as the goosebumps rose on your skin. But it wasn’t like him to voice all of that. Approaching you again, he leaned down and brushed his lips on yours again, but this time he kisses you.
“Nice rack” Ignoring the sarcastic response you gave him in return, he reaches up to cup one of your breasts feeling the weight of it. His thumb brushed over your pebbling nipple, and the soft sigh you left out was better than he ever imagined. Sukuna pulled you towards your bed, making you lay back on your pillows. He pulled your thighs apart, but you quickly snapped them shut. “Well, how will you lose your V-card like that, let me see baby?” he slapped your thigh lightly urging you to open up again. Once you do he groans as you spread your lips for him, already so wet there were strings of arousal connecting. The two of you stayed like that for a while, you spreading yourself for him and Sukuna watching every twitch and clench. “Have any of them made you cum before?” you shake your head. He wanted to hunt them all down, but that’s for another time. “Have you ever made yourself cum?” you nod. “Then show me, sweetness.” he leans back on his heels. Sukuna had dreamed of being in this situation for so long, he’s going to make the most of it.
“Kuna…I-” he raises his eyebrow at you again waiting for you to follow instructions. As instructed you brought one hand to circle around your clit. The way his eyes focused on the way you circled your bundle of nerves made even more slick drip from your pussy. You brought your other hand up to pinch and pull on one of your hardened nipples. Sukuna couldn't help but palm at his bulge, the ache too much to ignore as you sped up.
“Put your fingers inside” he urged nearly drooling
“But that's never felt good when they did it” you whine moving your fingers faster. You were already close like this. Between the feeling of your own fingers and the way he watched, was enough to send you over the edge, but that was cut short. Sukuna huffed and slapped your hand away. The feeling of your orgasm depleting ripped a sob from your throat, but you were quickly shut up by one of his fingers prodding at your hole.
“I'm not them” and with that he ducked his head between your thighs and watched the way your cunt sucked his finger in, just begging for another. He grew dizzy with the sweet musk that was coming from you. Sukuna could not believe he was face to face with what he dreamed about. His lips made their way to your pulsating bulb, giving it gentle kisses before enveloping it completely and giving you a harsh suck. You've never been touched like this before and this new sensation sent electricity throughout your whole body. Why didn’t you ask Sukuna to do this sooner? The rumors about him were true.
“K-Kunaa, moree. M-more” your back arched so prettily for him when he added another finger, saying something about “yer greedy cunt” but the pleasure he was giving you was so overwhelming you couldn’t really focus on anything. He moved away from your clit down to get a taste of you, thumbing at your bundle of nerves while finally getting a taste of your honey pot. The groans he let out went straight to your cunt making you ooze more, earning more groans of approval.
“Mm, you taste so sweet~. Can't believe it took so long for me to get a taste” he watched your face contort into that of pleasure and he wanted so badly to sink inside you, but he was enjoying being between your thighs too much to quit now. As soon as he started to fuck his tongue inside of your hole he couldn’t help but rut his hips against your sheets. The taste of you was making sukuna absolutely drunk. Never in his life has some pussy made him so desperate to nearly cream in his own boxers. He made mental notes of every reaction you had, recording every twitch and shiver you had to memory.
You heard stories but you didn’t know just how messy of an eater he was. The sounds of him devouring you were so sinful and embarrassing, but the sound of him slurping and lapping at your cunt brought you closer and closer to cloud nine. If it wasn't for the vice grip you had on Sukuna’s pink locks or the way he pinned you down by your thighs you fear you’d simply float away. And oh when he locked eyes with you as he pinched your clit you saw a glimpse of the pearly gates. Your thighs clamped around his head as he drank everything you gave him. He continued to lap at your twitching pussy pushing you towards overstimulation. If sukuna had it his way he would have spent another three hours with his face buried in your cunt, but you were desperately trying to push his head away with soft moans of “kuna please”. Reluctantly he parted away from you with a kiss to your clenching hole and sat back on his knees admiring his handy work. Your pussy was a wet mess of your slik and his spit and oh did it make his dick jump with the way you lazily palmed at your breast, pupils completely blown as you wait for what you wanted, what you needed from him.
“S-sukuna that was ssoo good” You watched as he whipped your remaining juices off his mouth and chin smirking wildly.
“Told you I wasn’t like those little boys you fucked around with” he leaned down capturing your lips in a passionate kiss that took no time to develop into a clash of tongue and teeth. The taste of yourself on his tongue made you moan into his mouth. The throbbing you felt started to become more and more unbearable as he kissed down your neck biting and nibbling here and there.
“Fuck… hurry I wanna feel you” You spread your legs making more room for him, bucking your hips up in desperate attempts to feel him. Sukuna groaned at the sight, wasting no time to discard his clothes, freeing his aching erection from the confines of his sweats. The size of him made you drip even more. How could you crave something so much when you've never had it? You don’t know but the need for him is burning through you. You wanna taste him, taste the pretty pearlescent pre that leaks from his tip in fat globs, lick the vein running on the underside of his cock, suck on the tip, feel the weight of him in your mouth, and see if he lets out pretty moans of your name. But you’ll save that for next time, hopefully, there will be a next time. Without realizing it you began to rub your clit as you watched him, his voice snapped you out of the trance.
“Cock drunk already? Playing with that pretty pussy just from the sight of my cock, oh I'm flattered” he cooed as he crawled back between your legs, heavy cock bobbing with his movements. His arrogance always got to you, but in this setting it made you crave him more. His cockieness made your cunt throb with anticipation. All you did in response was whine, something sukuna wasn't used to. No snarky sarcastic comeback, no punches, just whines and your hands desperately trying to pull him closer and it was driving him absolutely insane. He grabbed the base of his cock and lined it up with your entrance, dragging the tip up and down your slit and circled around your swollen clit a couple more times. The warmth radiating off of you felt soo good on him, but you guided his face to look back up at you causing him to stop his movements.
“ ‘Kuna...w-wait. Please, could you be gentle?” the question came out barely audible, the vulnerability made your cheeks burn. He smiled in return, not his normal shit-eating grin, but one of sincerity.
“ ‘Couse pretty baby. Need you to enjoy your first time, cant ruin my rep now can I?” he leaves a kiss on your forehead, and then goes down to capture your lips, not the clash of teeth and tongue as before. This one felt like more. In truth sukuna cared nothing for his reputation, as of right now he wanted to make you feel as good as possible. The newfound gentleness was new territory for him, but for you it felt like he needed to take his time and do things right. After giving you reassurance and promises of taking care of you, you gave sukuna the “okay” he needed to finally push into you. He felt the way you tensed up at the intrusion, but he was quick to shush you, kissing the tears away as he played with you clit to distract you from the stretch with each inch he sank into you.
“Oh f-*hic*-uck, it’s...you’re so much I-. more please more” The feeling of him pressed all the way in you was nothing like you’ve felt. The stretch melted from uncomfort to unfathomable pleasure and you needed more. The twitch you felt from him inside you let you know that he felt just as good. In one swift motion, he pulled out just to the tip and pushed back in, the drag of him against your walls making you clench.
“Fuck your so t-ight even after all that work. You gotta relax… baby, f-fuck” his brows knitted together. The vice grip you had on him is going to make him cum prematurely, and he can’t have that. You tried your best to relax some but the way he fucked into you was way too good, and when he angled his hips up it was over. Your breath hitched, you've never reached that spot yourself and now you were seeing stars with the way he abused it. Over and over he bullied himself into you and right to that spongy spot. The moans you let out of his name only fueled sukuna more, rutting into you faster and harder. He promised to be gentle but the way you squeeze and drip around him made that impossible. The sound of your squelching pussy and his balls smacking against your ass was intoxicating, addicting. The sudden fluttering of your walls broke sukuna out his trance.
“Kunnaaa I-Ithink..c-cum. I’mgonna cum” you moaned and moaned as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him down for a kiss. Your moans were swallowed up by him in the messy kiss, mixed drool rolling down your chin. He pulled away pressin his forehead against yours whispering praises on how good you're making him feel and how good you're taking him.
“If you're gonna cum, cum. Lemme see what pretty face you make when you feel good” and the huskyness of his voice was the last push you needed to cream all over him. You arched off the bed, eyes rolling to the back of your head as silent moans left you. The spasms of your walls hurled him towards his own release. The way you try and milk him and suck his cock back in makes his thrusts sloppy. “Oh fu-ck, fuck. Youfeelsogood. So good. Virgin pussy is mine, taking my cock so well. Tell me its mine, yeah? Mine to fuck mine to- shit im gonna cum, whe-” his babbles get cut off before he can even finish his question.
“In-inside. Please i wanna feel you inside” and at that moment Sukuna makes a mental note to delete his booty call list. You are all he wants, all he needs. With the last remnants of his composure, he folds you completely in half, reaching even deeper than before. He felt so impossibly deep you swear you could feel his cockhead in your womb.
“Fuck you're too good. Want me to fill you up? Fill up your pussy, yeah? Augh! Are you c-cuming again? Oh Oh-” he moans the loudest he’s ever had as he falls over on you. His body going completely stiff as thick ropes or his hot cum fill you to the brim. Sukuna was derailed by how caught off guard he was by his own orgasm. He has never came as hard as he did, body trembling as he tried to ride out both your highs. And oh he came so much, you feel both your releases oozing out before he even pulls out. The two of you stay like that for a little while, kisses here and there. Coos and caresses exchanged.
“Thank you, Ryo…I think I get why you're a whore now.” and you break into a fit of giggles as he rolls his eyes in response.
“Yeah whatever. You shoulda let me hit sooner baby.” he said kissing the corner of your mouth
“Baby? You called me that a lot. Am I your baby?” you raised an eyebrow jokingly, attempting to tease him,
“You wanna be? Sweetheart just say the word and im yours. All yours, Only yours” he was serious this time, no hint of playfulness, no teasing.
“Take me out on a date”
“I already started planning it”
✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
⟢🐝notes: Sooor sorry it took so long chat. Hiii new followers hiiiii, sorry if you were waiting on this for too long (;´д`)ゞ. I would blame college and work but like, also i've been doing nothing but play stardew 🌚. I HOPE IT WAS OKAY!!! Again im always open to feedback! And maybe i’ll do requests?? Idk if i have time ill do it. I think asks are open? Im fairly new to creating on here so idk...
Okay baiiiiiii (≧∇≦)ノ
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#sukuna smut#modern sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#sukuna#sukuna ryoumen smut
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🎀 NEW IDEA: ASK CHAT GPT 🎀
ꨄ Use AI to your advantage when it comes to manifesting and shifting…
Although AI can get a little weird and scary sometimes, it’s actually such a great way to get information, motivation and inspiration all in one
Instead of hounding bloggers for the same thing all the time. Go to Chat GPT.
Now, how about i give you a few examples, let’s imagine someone called maya 𖨆
maya is having trouble because she feels like when she tries to induce the void, she always falls asleep and that’s taken away so many years from her dream life
she asks Chat GPT: “I keep falling asleep every time I try to induce the void, I feel so frustrated all the time and I need some help”
Chat GPT answers: “Hi Maya, falling asleep during void practice is common, so don’t be too hard on yourself. One way to combat this is by practicing at a time when you feel awake and alert, like in the morning or after a light exercise session. Another tip is to sit up in a comfortable position rather than lying down, as it can help you stay focused and avoid dozing off. Keep practicing with patience—it’s all part of the process!”
now let’s imagine joey 𖨆
joey is feeling frustrated because he feels like he hasn’t progressed, he’s been in the community for 2+ years and really wants his dream life
he asks: “I’m feeling so frustrated and upset, like I want to give up, I’ve been trying to induce the void and get my dream life for over 2 years, I need motivation”
Chat GPT responds; “Hi Joey, I know it’s tough, but remember that persistence is key—sometimes the journey teaches you just as much as the destination. Instead of focusing on the time passed, celebrate the fact that you’re still trying, which shows incredible resilience. Take a short break if you need to, and reconnect with why you started. Visualize your dream life vividly, and remind yourself it’s worth the effort. Progress might be closer than you think!”
now chloe 𖨆 is feeling really powerless lately, circumstances hit her hard on some days and she feels stuck, she wants to be reminded how the void is so possible and so easy and she’s so capable of it all
she asks: “Can you remind me how powerful I am? Some days circumstances hit so hard and it gets thought!! Can you explain manifesting from a logical point of view to remind me how easy it all is?”
Chat GPT responds: “Hi Chloe, let me remind you of this simple truth: you are the creator of your reality, the God of your world. From a logical point of view, everything you experience stems from your thoughts, beliefs, and focus. Circumstances are just reflections—they only hold power because you give it to them. Shift your focus, and the reflection changes effortlessly. When you truly accept that you’re the one in control, nothing can stand in your way. You’ve always had the power!”
Now you can see how well it works!! You can even use them to give you affirmations, help you with vaunts. You can be as specific as you want, trauma dump as much as you want and say whatever you want without crossing boundaries or being judged. You can use Chat GPT to script, i’ve used it so many times and it has given me so many ideas. And your script will still feel like your own, just see it as your collaborating with Chat GPT and that it you helps put your thoughts into words.
You can even use it when you’re having one of those days and just need to be reminded of the fact that you’re in charge. You can even use it for some tough love or to comfort you as you vent.
Like guys you can do so many things with this, I love Chat GPT so much we’re locked in like this:
LMFAOOO IM JOKING (or am i? 😏)
But in all seriousness, some of you need this. Flooding bloggers asks and dms with questions that they have repeated the answers to multiple times, asking things you damn well know the answer to or just asking for motivation repeatedly can take away from people who actually have a good question to ask and actually need help. Like fogging up a blogger’s inbox repeatedly venting about the 3d, or asking “hOw Do I gEt iNtO tHe VoId?” knowing damn well you know the answer to that, will prevent a blogger from noticing someone who actually has a good question that many people might also have and would actually spark an interesting discussion.
So just ask Chat GPT, it’s okay to have doubts creep in from time to time, it’s okay to need a reminder of basic things, it’s okay to forget how powerful you are sometimes, but you can literally ask Chat GPT to help you with that and it will. Instead of waiting around for bloggers to answer your dm or ask just to say the same thing, you can get actual help, and get it when you want it and how you want it.
Why don’t you ask “explain the law of assumption to me like i’m 5”
“explain the void state to me from a scientific view to help me believe”
“give me some dream body affirmations”
“i’ve been so demotivated, remind me who tf i am again”
“I’m going to come from a filthy rich family when I permashift, can you give me some £10Million+ per year jobs that my desired parents can do”
“I feel so lazy today, bully me into inducing the pure consciousness instead of procrastinating”
you don’t need to harass bloggers for these things when you can have immediate access to the answers you seek.
ꨄ 🧸🎀 Go download Chat GPT and knock yourself out!! 💋
#salemlunaa#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting#loa#permashifting#respawning#law of assumption#i am state#void state#success story#the void state#void#void state tips#the void#voidstate#pure consciousness#shifting consciousness#void concept#manifesting#master manifestor#manifestation#shifting blog#shifting community
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loved | percy jackson
ღ percy jackson x daughter of ares! reader ღ warnings: hurt/comfort! (for the ones that are so so angry) ღ wc: 720 this is clearly about me guys
“Percy, you don’t understand!”
Her shouts shattered the silence of the forest; the birds seemed to have fled the moment they arrived, and the forest nymphs hid within their trees, unwilling to get involved.
“You’re right!” His voice was edged with frustration and anger as he followed her, but instead of looking threatening, he looked almost pitiable. "I don’t!"
There was a raw, painful gleam in his eyes, one she chose to ignore -although it proved her point.
“Why can’t you talk to me? Tell me what is wrong, please.” He begged. “I love you.”
No.
Not those words.
They were precisely the ones she didn’t want to hear.
The weight they pressed onto her chest was overwhelming, and she didn’t think she could bear it any longer.
He was the sweetest and kindest boy in camp, effortlessly funny and charming with everyone –how could someone like him love someone like her?
“That’s the thing.” Her fists clenched tightly at her sides, crescent-shaped marks forming in her palms. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she stopped to turn toward him. “You can’t love me!”
And he flinched. He fucking flinched at her.
But she didn’t care.
“I’m mean! I’m mean, and violent, and aggressive. I’m insecure, quiet, narcissistic. I have anger issues, stupids outbursts, I curse all the fucking the time! I’m not-” She took a deep breath, trying to quell the anger boiling inside her.
She was unlovable.
“Percy, I can’t make you happy. I don’t know how you expect this-” She gestured toward the space between them, which seemed to close with each tentative step he took. “-to work, I am not good for y-”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”
Now it was her turn to flinch as he stepped closer, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly.
He was staring into her eyes as if he could see right through her, peeling back her defenses to uncover the truth she kept hidden –something she sensed he had been doing for far too long.
“Don’t tell me what’s good for me or not.”
She could only stay silent.
What else could she do with that sight in front of her? A sight that wasn’t made for her, that felt so foreign for her.
Those green eyes looked at her with a love she was sure she didn’t deserve, and those hands brushed against her skin as if they could see something good within her that she had buried.
“I know you, and I know how you feel. Like you don’t deserve the good things that happen to you, like you’re not good enough, like you’re a burden in everyone else’s life." One of his hands moved to cup her cheek. "Like you are a bad person.”
She almost laughed; well, he was really laying bare her entire life with his words.
“I don’t know who made you think all of that, but please, I’m begging you, don’t believe them.”
“That's the thing,” Percy leaned closer to her to show he was paying attention, but it was almost impossible to get any closer. “No one said anything; I just know it.”
As she closed her eyes, he observed her. Before him stood his favorite person in the world, unraveling before his eyes.
And he couldn’t stand to see it happen.
“You are the purest person in the whole world. From the first moment I saw you, I was wrapped around your finger. My mother is tired of hearing your name, my room is fed up with me sprawled out, holding your photo, and my mind is consumed by thoughts of you –there is no space for anything else. ”
The words flowed from his lips as if they were the most natural thing in the world, and the effect they had on her was overwhelming.
She felt the boy’s hands on her face, gently wiping away the tears she didn't know were there –he knew how much she hated being seen while crying.
When she finally dared to open her eyes, something clicked inside her as she was met with the prettiest shade of green.
She had never felt this way in her life, so free, so safe.
And despite the fear swirling within her, she wanted to try –to try with him.
“You are not mean, you are not a bad person, you are not something that is wrong."
His hands were so, so soft on her cheeks that she could've died.
But she didn't; she felt more alive than ever.
"You live, you act and you feel so, so much. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved, you have to be you. That would be enough for me.” She smiled at him, momentarily at a loss for words.
In response, she leaned in closer, pressing a soft, salty kiss to his lips.
And she felt like she deserved it, like it was meant to happen. And maybe it was.
She felt so, so loved.
hi!! this is how i feel daily lately and i am so scared of telling someone! but i hope you like it!
#percy jackson x reader#percy jackson#pjo x reader#percy jackson x you#fanfic#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson x y/n#percy jackson imagines
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Look at that woman (breaking my heart) | part 10
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Vettel!Reader
Summary: For one and a half years Lewis and y/n managed to keep their relationship a secret, until it blew up in their faces. Now, they're trying their hardest to pick up the pieces...
Warnings: angst but fluff at the end
masterlist
h44_milton has made a tik tok
(song used: i love you so by the walters)
916,333 likes and 19,514,826 replays
noella44: gang wake up it is time to suffer :(( they’re apparently on a break- so we won’t get any more cute interactions … #y/nandlewis
view all comments…
user 1: this is tragic on so many levels
user 2: i feel like if they hadn’t been exposed they would’ve been endgame
user 3: @/user2 ikr!! seemed really genuine
user 4: DEVASTATED
keena_044 has made a tik tok
(song used: futile devices by sufjan stevens)
87,018 likes and 614,927 replays
keena: „i think of you as my brother although that seems dumb“ #y/nandlewis
view all comments…
user 1: casually cried before work
user 2: now why would you do this to me???
user 3: woah
user 4: it’s been a MONTH AND WE HAVE NO STATEMENT WHATSOEVER YET
user 5: we saw the rise and fall of them in real time i can’t do this
She hears how the door to the balcony opens again. “I told you, I‘m not hungry.“
“Hey.”
At the sound of the more than familiar voice, Y/N instantly turns her head. Her eyes widen while she merely stares. The way he’s awkwardly shifting his weight from one foot to the other while his eyes are becoming shiny. Her left hand flies up to cover her mouth, before she quickly stands up to rush over to him. However, nothing could stifle the guttural sob that escapes her lips the moment his arms wrapped around her to pull her close.
“Hey, hey.”, Lewis whispers, while holding back tears himself:” It’s- it’s okay.” They stay like that for a few minutes before Y/N ultimately pulls back. Her eyes are roaming over his features as if he’s worried she’ll going to forget them. His thumb wipes away the tears.
“Oh my God? Lewis, what are you doing here?“, she asks, a teary chuckle leaving her. He can’t help but echo her, his much larger hand cupping her face:“ I just had to see you. I was at home with my parents and we just- they both kept on talking about this whole thing. And I know they meant well, but the only one I want to talk to about this is you.“
“But what about our managers? They both-.“ “Well, fuck them.”, Lewis cuts her off, leaving her gazing at him with an open mouth. He playfully rolls his teary eyes before cracking a smile:” What do they know? Right?”
Y/N smiles softly at him, something inside of her is waking up again. She nods:” Yeah. What do they know?”
Inside Sebastian is standing next to Hanna with his arms crossed:” Still can’t believe it.” It makes his wife laugh, while she lays her head on his shoulder.” Lewis is a good guy, one of the best. I say it’s a match.” It makes him scoff:” I’m still concerned about the media. When they’re back on the track they’ll be treated like prey. I just know it.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”, She sighs:” But they have one another, that’s probably going to be enough.”
#f1 fanfic#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton imagine#lewis hamilton x reader#f1#f1 texts#fanfic#imagine
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Inner Demons
Wanda Maximoff X GN! Reader
Warnings:Angst
AN: this is just a short drabble that ive been thinking about guys.
MINORS DNI 18+
Taglist : @mothertoall2 @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad @reginassweetheart @machyishere @gemz5 @pawiie @duckiekong (If you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)
“Why do you hide behind these walls you’ve built?” Wanda questioned as she followed Y/N into their bedroom, closing the door behind her. Watching as Y/N took a deep breath before turning to face her.
“I don’t know what you mean.” They replied with another fake smile as they looked into her eyes, their eyes empty and cold, giving away their fakeness.
“Yes, you do.” Wanda pressed on, her eyes studying theirs as she continued. “I can see everything, the way you walk around like you’re some kind of robot. Like you don’t have any feelings or emotions of your own.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” They chuckled dryly as they went to turn away from her, only for her to grab their arm, preventing them from doing so.
“I do, I can see that it’s lonely for you, because you hold everything inside, you bury it and one day, you’re not going to be able to take it anymore.”
“What do you want me to say, Wanda?” They questioned, continuing before she could continue. “That no matter how hard I try to change, to be a better version of me, being more open and honest about how I feel, or with what’s going on in here.” They gestured to their head, Wanda finally catching some emotion seeping through their eyes as they spoke. “It doesn’t matter how hard I try, everyone who I have ever trusted, who I have ever let see the real me without these walls leave me, because they can’t handle it. Because I am too much for them.” They took in a sharp breath. “So yeah, I adapted, I learned to work alongside the demons within me instead of fighting them because either way, I’m drowning. At least, this time I’m not flailing around, crying out for someone to save me anymore. I just let it keep me down, I’ve accepted the inevitable, that I have lost the fight against myself. I can see that there isn’t really a light at the end of it, it’s just all endless silence, loneliness and darkness and I’ve given up trying to fight it.”
“So you just let it consume you?” Wanda pushed as Y/N finally moved away from her.
“It already has, I lost that war long ago.” Was all they said before they walked past her and out of their room, leaving a concerned Wanda in their wake.
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#marvel#elizabeth olsen#elizabeth olsen x reader#wanda x you#wanda x reader
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Quiet Ache
Summary: Chris zones out thinking about old times, only to be hit with a reality check realizing he will never be able to to relive the past anymore.
Warnings: none. Angst.
Your soft giggles filled the low lit room, blending with the low hum of the movie playing on the screen. The room was comforting, like a warm blanket on a cold night, the lamp casting an orange hue in the room. Chris looked over at you, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips as you settled into the blankets, curled up beside him. You always loved just how comfortable and easy everything felt when it came to him. But the couch was a mess, covered with pillows and half-empty mugs and cozy blankets, but none of that mattered. With Chris, nothing ever really seemed to matter except his hand resting against your side, his warm touch, and the light of the TV glowing soft on his features.
"You're impossible," he teased, his voice low and playing. "How do you always laugh at the most random moments?"
You leaned in closer, resting your head on his shoulder. "It's just a funny scene. I can't help it."
Chris chuckled and the sound was low and mellow and you could feel the tension in his body melt away as he relaxed into the couch, his arm slipping around your shoulders. His touch was warm, familiar, the kind that made your heart skip a beat even after this long. You could feel his breathing, steady and soft against your hair. His presence, his scent, the way his body naturally curved into yours-it felt like home.
The movie kept going, but neither of you were really paying much more attention anymore. Every now and then, your laughter rises again, as you crack little jokes or notice silly stuff in the film. For Chris, these were the moments-quiet, without apparent effort, filled with your presence-that mattered the most.
His thumb traced light circles over your arm and for one brief moment, it was as if the world had finally set things right. In an instant, the peace found its place, then shifted just as fast. His thumb halted, his breathing slowing in a manner that grasped your attention. You raised your head slightly, looking up to him.
"Chris?" you asked softly, the slightest hint of concern in your voice. He doesn't meet your gaze straight away; his eyes stare at the screen, though it's obvious he isn't watching anymore. The distant look in his eyes matched his thoughtful expression. His thumb, which had been tracing soft circles on your arm, had stilled, and his entire posture had shifted to tense and distant, like his mind was somewhere far away.
You tilted your head slightly, watching him, waiting for him to snap out of whatever it was that had caught his attention. The silence was extended, and the unease in his body grew. It wasn't like him to zone out this way, especially at a time when you guys were so close, when you could laugh together, when you could enjoy each other.
Chris?" you called again, a little louder this time, with soft concern laced in your voice. It sounded like a faint whisper, reaching for him across a great distance, yet he showed no reaction.
"Chris!" The voice called again, this time louder, and Chris finally seemed to snap back into the present.
"Yo, what's up with you, man?" Matt asked; his voice codified concern and impatience. "You good?"
Chris rubbed his eyes, blinking rapidly as if trying to shake off the fog of whatever thoughts had swept through him. It had all happened so fast, and yet the emotions that flooded him felt so much older, like ghosts from the past.
The question came as a shock to him, the sudden turn back to reality. For a, he didn't know how to respond. He had been lost in thoughts-memories of times when life was so much simpler, when things felt right and you sat on the couch next to him, listening to some silly jokes and feeling like everything in this world was in its rightful place. But that was before.
Now, sitting in the car with his brothers, it all felt like a distant dream.
“Yeah, I’m good,” Chris said quickly, his voice more clipped than usual, trying to mask whatever had just taken hold of him. He forced a smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. He didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want them to know how far his thoughts had drifted.
Nick didn't seem convinced. "You sure?" he asked now softer. "You were, like, zoning out there. For real."
Chris's hand fisted on the seatbelt, his knuckles white. For a while, he didn't know how to answer him. He had been lost in thoughts-memories of times when life was so much simpler, when things felt right and you sat on the couch next to him, listening to some silly jokes and feeling like everything in this world was in its rightful place.
The moment held in a tight circle of awkward silence in the car, the tension palpable. Matt looked sideways at Chris, knowing that for some reason he had upset him, but didn't push. Nick shifted uncomfortably in the backseat, not knowing how to respond next.
Chris could sense the weight of their concern for him, yet it only made him feel more withdrawn. How was he to explain what was going on inside his head? How was he to put into words the heartache every time he thought about you, about the way things used to be between you two?
It has been months now. Months since everything changed. Months since the breakup. And no matter how many distractions he surrounded himself with—his brothers, work, the videos they filmed together—it would never seem to be enough. He could never forget what it felt like when you were there, how your laughter filled the room or how your touch made things feel just a little bit warmer, just a little bit easier. All he had now were pieces of his memory, scattered bits of what had once been.
Nick leaned in his seat, looking sideways at Chris. "You are sure you do not want to talk about it?" he asked, his tone softer and understanding. "You have been acting different lately.
Chris’s heart ached at the question, but he shook his head, trying to force the feelings down again. He didn’t want to burden his brothers with this—didn’t want them to see how broken he still felt.
“I said I’m fine,” he repeated, a little more forcefully this time, trying to convince himself as much as them. “Just… lost in thought, that’s all.”
Matt hummed thoughtfully, but the conversation changed course and they moved on to another subject. Chris didn't say anything for the rest of the ride, just looked out the window as the city lights whizzed by, the world outside going at a breakneck pace, yet somehow to him, time stood still. No matter how hard he tried to shake it away, his mind kept slipping back to you.
I miss you, he thought, but the words never passed his mind. They buzzed in the muffled silence of the car, in the silence of his heart-heavy, unspoken. He did not know, for one thing, how to move on, how to let go of something so right, so natural.
But it had passed, leaving him with only its pieces, jumbled like confetti in his head.
The car chugged forward, but Chris's mind remained lost in time, backward to that place when life was simpler and felt right.
And all that remained now was the quiet ache.
word count: 1.6k
tags: @sweetshuga
a/n: heyy! I got random motivation last night at 4am to write this. It's a bit choppy but hope its okay! As you can see my last 2 stories are aslo about Chris angst. Love breaking my own heart lmao. Anyways bye for now! Tysm for all the love, i appreciate and love you all!
@queenshet
#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris x reader#chris x you#angst#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#milazila
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Im rewatching OBX again and when John b said im only using her when he said another thing to Sarah and then kie told Sarah you said you were using her I would of been like uhhh what I lowkey would of been pissed and walked off to see if John b would of chased after me kinda want this made into a fic if you want if not please ignore it LOL
pairing: john b routledge x kook!reader
a/n: sarah's better than me bc i would've cried over this scene lol
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This was a bad idea. You told yourself it was a bad idea and still went through with it, so you only had to blame yourself.
Your whole life you had seen the Pogue versus Kook dynamic for yourself; you just never thought you’d become a piece of it.
John B gave you a sense of adventure, of something new. Running to Chapel Hill with him had been so easy. You were usually a ball of anxiety, but he made everything seem like it would be okay, no matter the outcome.
Which led you here, walking your bike through the wooded area of The Cut with John B by your side. You knew it wouldn’t be easy to try and get along with his friend group, but unfortunately, where John B went, JJ, Kie, and Pope weren’t far behind.
“I’m really nervous about this, John B,” You admitted as the Chateau came into view. “She’s not gonna be happy.”
John B shrugged slightly, apparently not realizing the bomb he was about to implode in his own house, “She’ll be fine. It’ll be cool, I promise.”
You shook your head, not really convinced but also not wanting to cause a scene over it. “So you guys found the gold, but under an axe murderer’s house?”
“Well, yeah. Kind of. I mean, the only thing is the well is super sketchy deep.”
You looked over at him, the excitement in his eyes making you slightly jealous that you’d missed out. Normally, you’d run at the idea of half the shit they got themselves into, but John B’s presence was almost addicting.
“Wish I was there,” You joked, leaning into him slightly as he took the bike from your hold so you could walk closer to him.
“You will be, tonight,” He smiled at you, warmth taking over as you blushed. John B had managed to make it feel like you guys had been close friends your whole life, and you were slowly falling in love with that feeling.
“Is um… is that okay?” You knew it wasn’t, but you had to ask.
John B shifted the bike into his casted hand, reaching the other one over for you to grab so he could squeeze it. “Yeah, it will be. And if they push back, we’ll figure something out. Vlad and Val gotta stick together, right?”
You nodded, but John B could tell you weren’t convinced and it was a little bit of a hit to your confidence. Kiara had never really liked you, instantly envious of your life and the way John B, JJ, and Pope always had heart eyes when they saw you. She saw you as a threat and that meant she wouldn’t be happy about your involvement in the slightest, especially when she put together that you were more than friends with John B.
“You’re a bad liar, but I’ll go with it,” You teased quietly, “If she’s gonna get territorial, I’m not fighting her, John B.”
“Hey, hey, just listen.” John B tugged on your hand so you’d stop walking and face him. “You’re a part of this too, okay? You got us the plat map. You got me into Chapel Hill. Your dad offered to cover for me. Once we get with everybody, they’re gonna be excited.”
You tried to let his enthusiasm sway you, but it wasn’t working well. And as Kiara walked out of the Chateau to see you on the couch next to John B, you knew you were right.
“No fucking way. You brought her here? So what? She’s in on this now?” Annoyance and anger were evident in her voice and you shrunk back into the couch as she practically bitched at you.
Pope shrugged. He had always thought you were super nice. He delivered groceries to your home and you’d overtipped each time, knowing the money was needed more in his pocket than yours.
“Look, all I care about is her cut comes out of your share,” JJ pointed toward the boy sitting next to you. “No offense.”
You shook your head at JJ, a small smile on your face. A winky response told you he was kidding. Similar to Pope, you’d seen JJ plenty at the country club when he played server for a few hours. You tried to request him each time you and Sarah visited, keeping him away from Rafe, Topper, and Kelce as best as possible. And you didn’t do it to prove a point, you did it because you cared. You’d watched some of the best people in your life get treated so poorly just for living on the other half of the island.
“You know, I don’t remember taking a vote,” Kiara continued, “This is our thing. A Pogue thing. We were all extremely comfortable until you brought her.”
You tried to refrain from rolling your eyes at her unnecessary anger. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here!” You defended.
“Then leave.”
JJ coughed on his weed pen from the chair next to you, obviously uncomfortable with the growing tension. “I… am remaining indifferent.”
“Do you even know what that means?”
“Of course, I know what that means, Pope, I-”
Kiara glared at both boys, upset that it seemed nobody was taking her side.
You shook your head, realizing this was causing more trouble than you intended. “I told you,” You mumbled to John B.
“Told him what, exactly? That you’re a liar?”
All niceties went out the window at the accusation and you faced Kiara with an anger you’d hidden for a while. “No, that you’re a shit-talking bitch! You know nothing about me, Kiara. And you just hate me for no reason, so-”
“Everybody shut up!” John B yelling had you flinching back into your seat, the emotions overwhelming as silence fell around you. He looked at the curly-haired girl standing in front of you. “Kie, you are my best friend, right? And Y/N, you’re…”
The hesitation in his voice made your heart skip but you nodded in agreement, wanting nothing more than to push past the friendship boundary into something bigger.
“...You’re my girlfriend.”
Kiara crossed her arms over her chest. “She’s your girlfriend now? What was all that talk about you were just using her for information? Get a map, cut her loose.”
The snide comment hit you like a smack in the face as you glanced over at John B. The way he refused to look at you told you it was true and you frowned. “You said you were using me?”
“No?”
“Yeah, you did.” Three voices agreed in return and you closed your eyes in frustration.
Another strike to the heart. Shaking your head to yourself, you got up off the couch. “I’m just gonna go. Thanks for ruining another good thing for me, Kiara. Always appreciated.”
Without another word, you shoved open the screen door and let it slam behind you. Tears blurred your vision as you grabbed your bike from its spot against the house and started walking.
John B was yelling your name behind you, but you refused to stop. The back of your hand brushed away tears as fast as they came. You knew, you knew this was a bad idea. You were so quick to trust someone with your feelings and it always bit you in the ass.
“Hey, hey!” His Converse crunched leaves on the ground as he tried to catch up to you.
You tossed your bike aside when he grabbed your shoulder and you turned to him to let him see the full result of his comment. “Why did you lie to me?” You asked, voice cracking against your wishes. “John B, I told you I was already nervous to get involved with her, and then you… you just used me?”
“I’m sorry! That- it wasn’t like that! At first, yeah it started off that way, but love walked in, okay? I didn’t expect it, but I’m not gonna act like it isn’t true,” He defended.
You laughed and looked away from him. “God, I know better. I know better and I still let you walk in my life and take what you needed because I wanted you. I still want you, even knowing you just used me to your benefit. That’s not love.”
John B opened his mouth to argue but apparently couldn’t find the words. You shook your head and pulled your bike up from the ground, shrugging out of his grip as you climbed on. “Hope it was worth it, John B. Tell Kiara she won, again.”
--
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#outer banks x reader#john b x reader#john b routledge#john b routledge x reader#outer banks#john b outer banks#john b imagine#john b#john b x you#john b routledge x you
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Ellis Twilight~ Chapter 13 - His Side Story
"Loosen up and go crazy.”
Disclaimer for route warnings | Masterlist
Additional Content Warnings: None
This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Villains. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!
Kate is a hard worker.
She laughed and said that she was now able to operate the wheelchair I had made herself.
That smile looked so happy and cute, but,
Looking at it… something dark and hidden deep within my chest began to stir.
--Like trying to pry open a lid.
My room faces the forest that surrounds Crown Castle.
When we moved into Crown Castle, Jude said “Ya like it here, don’t ya?” so I decided to live there.
(Any room would have been fine for me though.)
Kate squints happily as the sunlight filters through the trees.
(I’m glad Kate likes it.)
I couldn’t help but smile as I remembered the picnic we had some time ago.
Kate: “Ellis, your room is so relaxing.”
Ellis: “I guess so. Jude clicked his tongue at me and said, ‘Ya haven’t got a single book?’”
I picked up Kate from her wheelchair and gently placed her on the sofa.
The tray I placed on her lap had fried eggs and bacon on it,
Salad, white beans stewed in tomato sauce, and buttered toast are all neatly arranged beside them.
Kate: “Wow… This looks delicious.”
Ellis: “You always eat the food served at breakfast with gusto.”
Ellis: “I put a little bit of everything on the plate.”
Kate: “Thank you… I’m going to enjoy this.”
When she’s eating, Kate smiles more than usual and looks cuter.
(You’re defenseless, Kate.)
(I’m a guy, after all.)
When she suggested “A place I could relax”, I reflexively said “My room”, though it’s not something I should’ve said.
(Seeing Kate go out on her own…)
(I thought it would be better to stay in the room rather than take her out somewhere.)
(Kate was so cute when she blushed in confusion.)
As Kate savored her breakfast, her eyes occasionally wandered around my room.
I was staring intently at Kate’s figure.
(…I’m glad your injury is healing.)
(I’m glad that you can now operate the wheelchair.)
(I should’ve said that earlier.)
That her injuries are healing, that she can go places she wants to go by herself,
Because it would make Kate happy.
(Why couldn’t I say it?)
At that moment, I felt something crawling up from deep within my chest—
Kate: “Today, I think I’ll walk around the castle for rehabilitation.”
My heart skipped a beat when I heard Kate’s cheerful voice.
(…Ah.)
I feel as if the things I need to kill are overflowing, and I hold my breath.
--I wish we could stay like this forever.
Then I’ll be the only one who can make Kate happy.
I won’t just bring you breakfast, I’d do everything.
I wish Kate would wish that too—
Kate: “Ellis?”
Ellis: “…Ah, yeah. That’s good.”
Suddenly coming to my senses, I picked up the empty tray from Kate’s lap.
I took a deep breath as I loaded it onto the tea trolley.
(What am I thinking?)
That was definitely not a wish for Kate.
It’s selfish of me.
(I hid it away properly, so why does it keep coming out?)
To avoid being swallowed up, I push it tightly back into my chest.
(Don’t make Kate unhappy.)
I changed my mindset, and reached out to Kate.
Ellis: “Hold my hand when you walk. I think you’ll still be unsteady.”
Kate: “…Um, thank you.”
We clasped hands and left the room.
Ellis: “…Does it hurt?”
Kate: “Y-yeah… but it’s okay.”
One, two, one, two, Kate takes steps forward little by little.
Her injured leg was stiff from not moving it for a while.
Kate: “I didn’t realize that just a few days of bed rest could make it so hard to walk.”
Kate: “…Whoa.”
Ellis: “Oops… Are you okay?”
With a click, Kate’s legs lost strength and she nearly fell, but I managed to stop her.
Kate: “Th-Thank you…”
Ellis: “……Of course.”
Kate is kind of cute when she clings tightly to my hand, like a fawn that has just stood up.
Kate: “My muscle strength has really decreased… I need to train…”
Ellis: “Fufu… I’ll be with you every day, so don’t worry.”
Kate muttered in a serious tone, so I replied in a light-hearted tone.
Kate: “…”
Kate looked up at me and then blushed again, as if troubled.
(…?)
Ellis: “…Is something wrong?”
Kate: “Uh, nope…”
Kate: “I kept saying that I had to become independent… but when I’m with you, Ellis, I end up becoming spoiled.”
Kate: “I was just thinking, I have to be careful…”
(…)
Kate’s words pierce my heart.
It pierces the lid of the tightly closed box from above, nearly prying it open.
(Huh…?)
(Would it be beneficial for Kate if I told her “You can be more dependent on me”?)
(Or maybe that’s just what I want.)
I was so confused that I almost pulled my hand away, but then…
Kate: “Ah, wait, wait…!”
Ellis: “Ngh…!”
Kate squeezed my hand as she spoke,
All my confusion was blown away by that sensation.
Kate: “I guess that means, I should wait until I can walk a bit more before trying to avoid becoming too dependent on you, huh…?”
Kate: “If you let go of my hand now, I’ll fall…”
Kate’s eyes look up at me with anxiousness.
(…Wow)
(I shouldn’t be happy about this.)
If I feel happy, I’ll just end up ‘repeating’ the same thing again—
I no longer knew how to contain the excitement that was building deep inside my heart.
Ellis: “…Yep, I’m holding it properly.”
Ellis: “Even when you can walk, you don’t have to let go.”
Kate: “Huh…!?”
Kate: “…Stop teasing me like that…”
Kate’s face took on a slightly troubled look and then,
She looked happy and relaxed.
(When was Kate’s happiest moment?)
(At that time, I was just being pure and honest with her.)
(I wonder if I can make Kate’s happiness last forever.)
As I spend time with Kate, I gradually lose confidence.
(I hope you find happiness soon.)
(It was a bad idea for me to wish for it to stay like this forever.)
(Before it gets any stronger--)
Next Chapter
#ikemen villains#ikevil#ikemen villains translation#ikevil translation#ellis twilight#ikevil ellis#ikevil ellis twilight#ikemen villains ellis#ikemen villains ellis twilight#ellis twilight main route
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Polaris – Chapter 8
Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.
Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader
Warnings: 18+, fluff, angst, serial killer, Diane is her own warning, Grey's Anatomy & alcoholism, uhm... hard to explain the last one without spoilering. You'll be fine 😂
Word Count: 5.5k
A/N: Oh boy, I'll save you guys long explanations. Life got in the way, so let's just all be glad we're back here 😅 Some of you brilliant sleuths already caught breadcrumbs of my scheming in the last part, so here's The One You've Been Waiting For...
Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List
Chapter 8: Chemical Bonds
“Where is she?”
Your boot soles thudded on the floor as you dashed inside the station, your questioning look aimed at Jenny, who leaned against her desk with crossed arms and a stern brow. Beau was hot on your heels, just jogging in behind you. You practically raced him from the car across the parking lot.
“She’s in Interrogation Room 3,” Jenny informed you.
“Is she cuffed?” Beau asked, his voice carrying a hint of anger caused by concern. He had a whole car ride to the department to rile himself up and let his head spin with reasons. None of them soothing; all of them terrifying.
Jenny shook her head. “No. She’s not officially under arrest and hasn’t confessed yet, either. ‘Sides, she willingly came in and just all too happily sat down. She’s clearly playing a game. I’d be careful.”
“Alright, thanks,” Beau said and looked at you. “How you wanna do this?”
“Let’s just go in and talk to her. See what she has to say and what angle she’s playing,” you suggested, and Beau agreed with a nod, both of you falling into step as you headed down the hallway.
“My favorite couple. There you are,” Diane greeted you with a smirk that could only be described as lunacy as soon as you and Beau walked into the interrogation room. “Hope I didn’t disturb your evening.”
“Not at all,” you replied with an easy smile and took a seat across from her, Beau settling down right next to you and leaning back in his chair. “What can we do for you, Diane?”
“Well, I figured I come here before you call in the cavalry. There’s no need for all this drama. I have a feeling you two have enough of that,” she quipped and grinned devilishly at the both of you.
“So, you waltzed in here to confess to twenty-four murders?” Beau arched a disbelieving eyebrow at her.
“Oh, nice try. But I won’t confess to anything until you two have told me a little more about yourself,” Diane announced cheekily. “You talk – I talk. My rules. My game. Let's be honest. You don't have anything to nail me down. Zero, really. You two need this. I'm giving you a win, Sheriff.”
Beau and you shared a look. Neither of you liked this, but you supposed you had to play along if it led to a confession. You nodded at Diane. “Fine, what d’you wanna know?”
Diane grinned in triumphant satisfaction and folded her arms on the metal table, curiously leaning forward. “Look, I think it’s cute you two found each other… after divorce and death, of course. ‘Cause who likes a cheater, right?” she posed theoretically, her smirk getting wider. “I guess, for me at least, it’s just hard to believe there’ve never been any feelings before that. Seems kinda odd to me.”
You smiled wryly. “Well, for me at least, it seems kinda odd and, frankly, hard to believe some psychotic bitch would murder over twenty innocent people just because her husband was a cheating dirtbag. Yet, here we are.”
“Here we are indeed, Agent,” Diane snarked with a pleased smile. “And I’d be wary throwing the word ‘innocent’ around so carelessly. After all, just look at you two. I mean, I’m not saying you’ve planned this little hot love affair, but c'mon! What, no lingering looks? No fluttering hearts, dirty thoughts, or wistful what-ifs?”
You remained cool and held your gaze stern. No quiver of a lip, no twitch of an eye, no flinch of a muscle betrayed you. But Beau must’ve signaled something when Diane’s eyes drifted to him. She tilted her head with a delighted sneer forming on her face. Your heart halted in your chest. You knew she’d locked in on a target like a lioness on the prowl.
“Whoop, Sheriff Arlen, do you have something to tell me? You seem awfully quiet and… shifty,” Diane prodded the tip of her metaphorical knife into his ribcage, prying it open just enough to see inside. “If her husband was your partner, you must feel at least a little guilty for fucking his wife as soon as he was six-feet-under. Did you have feelings for her when they were still married? You did, didn’t you? I wonder what he’d say if he were still alive.”
“Okay, enough,” you snapped and drew a line in the sand, noticing how Beau withdrew more and more upon her words. She was getting to him and enjoying it. “Neither of us has done anything wrong, got it?”
Diane chuckled amusedly. “Sheriff Arlen, you should learn from your girlfriend here. She’s better at acting than you are. Or is it lying?” Her questioning gaze turned to you.
“What d’you want, huh?” you prompted with stern annoyance, hoping to take some heat off of Beau. “You want some weird confession, so you can throw one of us into a bunker?”
She shrugged nonchalantly. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Agent. We’re just having a friendly chat among colleagues, getting to know each other.” She grinned, her icy gray eyes sparkling with devilish joy. She leaned closer to Beau, circling in on him. She could smell he was close to a breaking point and aimed her sledgehammer at him. “Tell me, Sheriff, were you happy when your partner died? I mean, you must’ve been. She was finally free and all yours for the taking. Is that why your marriage crumbled so soon after his death? Why you followed her all the way to Mexico, leaving your family behind? Be honest, did you lead her husband into that warehouse on purpose?”
“Shut up!” Beau yelled and bristled, his voice trembling with anger as did every single muscle of his. He jumped up from his seat and kicked the chair roughly against the wall before storming out and slamming the door loudly behind him.
Shocked, you rose from your seat as well and threw Jenny a worried look through the one-way mirror. As you followed Beau outside, you could still hear Diane’s heinous laugh.
November 2020
‘¿Recuerdas que en tu infancia creías en cuentos de hadas? En la fantasia de lo que podría ser tu vida. Tu vestido blanco, un príncipe azul que te llevaría en sus brazos a un castillo sobre una colina…’
A knock on your door rattled you and snapped your attention away from the small, old TV in your room. The image was grainy at best, and you were sure the television itself was bought sometime in the early 2000s. Yet, you still managed to hook it up to your laptop and stream a few shows. Drinking and watching television was all you had for entertainment down here whenever you were on the lay-low and had some time off.
Oh, and there was the crying, of course.
You hurriedly blew your nose in one of the tissues in your hand and wiped the tears out of your eyes. Bolting into the bathroom first, you did a quick check of your appearance in the stained, wonky mirror. Well, good enough. Who were you trying to impress? You were a grieving widow. People expected you to look like shit.
Beau blinked at you as the door opened. He offered you a friendly smile, although he could tell you had cried again. You never admitted it, always telling him you were fine and brushing away any and all of his concerns. But your red and puffy eyes were hard to hide and even harder to ignore when he stopped by your room at night. It broke his heart every single time.
“Hey, I know you haven’t eaten dinner yet, darlin’,” he said and tried not to sound too scolding. Since Randy’s death you’d been basically on a grief diet, although you seemed to be more willing to eat since you’d come to Mexico. But Beau had taken it upon himself to ensure your stomach was always full.
“Uh, thanks, but I’m not hungry,” you said quietly and were already keen to close the door to get rid of him again. Sometimes it worked. Most times it didn’t.
Beau frowned and already slid his boot between the door and its jamb. “You know I’m not leaving till you ate. And since you’re being particularly difficult tonight, I’m just gonna have to watch you till that whole bag is empty. Now, trust me. This ain’t fun for me, either. Don’t make me spoon-feed you and do airplane noises. It’s been a while, but I have experience in that field. You wanna hear my lecture about your essential vitamins and minerals again?”
You sighed dramatically and were close to a whine. “Beau, I’m really not in the mood right now. Can you please just–” You stopped when you noticed the man wasn’t even listening to you. With a curiously furrowed brow, he cocked his head and leaned inside your room with a skillful weight shift, his green eyes focusing on the TV.
‘Vamos a domir a tu casa esta noche.’
‘¿Qué?’
‘¿Por qué siempre dormirmos en mi casa? ¿O no tienes una?’
“What are you watching?” Beau had fully stepped inside your room, and you knew your probability of kicking him out again sunk by the second. You sighed once more and closed the door behind you two.
“Grey’s Anatomy in Spanish. I already know the episodes, so I figured I could learn a little. I already forgot most of it from school,” you replied.
“Huh. Never watched this show.” Yet, he sat down on the foot of your bed and seemed hooked. His eyes were glued to the screen, brow lightly creased above the bridge of his nose that showed his interest. If you had popcorn, you would’ve handed it to him.
You rolled your eyes a little but smiled nonetheless. Randy had been the same. He’d teased you for watching till he caught one episode and was immediately enthralled. Afterward, you weren’t allowed to watch a single episode without him anymore.
“You wanna watch with me?” You grabbed the bag of food and crawled onto your bed, leaning against the headboard. You quickly discarded the tissues that were strewn all over your mattress. Luckily, he hadn’t noticed them yet, or you would’ve received a look full of worry and pity.
“Sure.” Beau nodded and smiled at you over his shoulder, happy you had decided to eat, after all. “So, what’s this show about?”
“A hospital in Seattle. But honestly, everyone’s just sleeping with everyone…”
It took a while till you had explained all the intricacies of each relationship to him. Fortunately, this was only the first season. He gasped when you informed him the show had seventeen of it – so far. By the end of the episode, he had joined you by the headboard, sitting next to you as you shared the remaining tacos.
‘Me gusta el helado de café, whisky de malta de una sola destilería, de vez en cuando un buen habano.’
“Ah! Now that’s a home,” Beau declared with a broad and longing smile, raising his beer bottle to the TV. “You know, I’ve always wanted an Airstream trailer exactly like this.”
“Uh-huh. Un remolque.”
His brow quirked. “Is that Spanish for trailer?”
“Yes, he just said it. You need to pay attention,” you chided playfully and took a sip from your beer.
“Hey, look, I’m just glad I can keep up with who’s sleeping with who, alright? Don’t need to add Spanish vocabulary to the mix,” Beau quipped, making you giggle. “I actually almost bought a trailer like that when me and Carla first got married.”
You grinned knowingly. “Lemme guess, Carla said no and almost shot you?”
Beau snorted a laugh. “Ha! Yeah, she definitely came close that time. But Emily was already on the way, so I guess it would’ve been impractical with a baby.”
“Smart choice.”
As your eyes traveled back to the TV, Beau’s gaze landed on you. He watched as your cheeks moved when you laughed with your whole heart. How your pink, full lips sealed around the bottle opening whenever you sipped on your beer. How your shimmering hair fell into your face in waves as you leaned forward and hugged your knees. Lingering looks.
“You wanna open a bottle of tequila with me and watch another episode?” you asked with a mischievous glint in your eyes as you looked back at him over your shoulder.
“Hm? Oh, uh, yeah. Let’s do that,” he agreed, swallowing lightly. A part of him almost felt caught in his shameless staring. But he was willing to do anything as long as it kept you from crying yourself to sleep for another night.
Jumping up from the bed, you sauntered over to the mini bar and bent down, hauling a bottle of tequila from the small fridge you’d stored in there earlier. Beau tried not to stare at the curve of your ass and how tightly those dark blue jeans hugged it. But he couldn’t control his heart as it undeniably accelerated and thumped loudly against its prison. Fluttering hearts.
Four episodes and two Margarita pitchers in, you stretched with a yawn, barely able to keep your eyes open. You glanced at Beau with an amused smile as he was still transfixed by the TV and heavily engaged in the show.
“I’m beat. You mind if we turn in?” you checked and laughed a little when his green eyes blinked at you in surprise.
“Oh, uh, sure. I’ll head back to my room,” he said, nodding. “You, uh, wanna do this every night, maybe? I mean, it’s not like there’s much else to do here… We could hang out and binge-watch, as the kids say. Netflix and chill.”
You snorted. “Beau, that’s not what you think it means…”
His brow furrowed. “Well, what does it mean?”
“Sex,” you said bluntly and watched his mouth open and close. It was rare to render that man speechless.
Beau pursed his lips, his cheeks redder than the desert sand. “Yeah, uh, no Netflix and chill, then.” He cleared his throat a couple of times while you stifled your laughs. “Can I just finish this episode before I go?”
You giggled, getting up from the bed. “Sure. Knock yourself out. I need some bathroom time before, anyways.”
As you sauntered into the small, dingy bathroom, you briefly glanced back and saw Beau’s focus was already back on the sexy doctors. You laughed a little, shaking your head before you began to wash your face and slip into your pajamas, which were just a pair of sweat shorts and an old college shirt of Randy’s. Go Cougars!
Unbeknownst to you, Beau’s gaze didn’t remain on the TV for long. At first, he only caught a glimpse of you from his periphery in the bathroom mirror through the cracked door. For a moment, he stared, unable to tear his eyes away as you shed out of your shirt. But when your bra came off as well, he averted his eyes shamefully back to the TV. His mind, however, still wandered, incapable of shaking the image of you, various unholy ideas gathering for a villainous summit. Dirty thoughts.
‘Así que, elígeme a mí. Escógeme a mí. Ámame a mí…’
“Still hooked, huh?” Amused, you arched a brow at him as you strolled out of the bathroom and saw he was still enchanted by the magic of dramatic television.
“He’s gonna go back to the cheatin’ ex, isn’t he?” Beau asked without looking at you. He sat on the bed with arms crossed and his brow scrunched.
You pressed your lips together as you smothered another laugh. “Oh, no spoilers from me, but it’s a bit of a ride. And we haven’t even gotten to Dr. Caliente yet,” you said, grinning.
You waited a moment for Beau to catch the hint that you wanted to go to bed. But soon you realized it wasn’t going to happen. The man had done a full deep dive into that show, and there was no way of pulling him back out.
“You know, you can stay and keep watching if you want to. I don’t mind. I’ve been sleeping with the TV on, anyways,” you said.
His gaze met yours, brow finally rising with realization. “Oh, uh, sorry. No, I can go. Let you catch some–” His eyes wandered back to the TV before he shook his head and tried to refocus. He blushed. “Sorry.”
“It’s really okay. You can stay. I don’t care,” you assured him with a soft smile and climbed under the covers, resting your head on the pillow. You switched off the lamp by your bedside table, the blue glow of the screen remaining the only source of light.
“Maybe just this episode,” he mumbled, his shoulders deflating as he sunk back into a more comfortable position again.
“This is nice,” you noted with a blissful sigh and closed your eyes. “I kinda hate being alone.”
Beau watched you as you peacefully fell asleep, the TV suddenly forgotten. For once you didn’t cry yourself to sleep. Tears, nightmares, and loneliness gone. And he wondered – what it would be like if he watched you fall asleep every night. What if he was still there in the morning. What if he could hold you as you wore his shirt. Then, the guilt came swiftly like the rising tide and washed those thoughts away. Wistful what-ifs.
“What the hell happened in there?” you hissed as quietly as possible as you caught up with Beau in the lowly lit hallway of the station. Luckily, the other cops had enough sense to stay away and keep their distance while the two of you hashed things out.
Beau dragged a hand over his face, kept his palm clasped on his mouth as he paced in a circle. You were surprised he hadn’t punched a wall yet, judging by the tension in his shoulders.
“You can’t let her get to you,” you reminded him gently, your face softening when you noticed how distraught and upset he really was. What Diane said to him must’ve cut deep.
“You know it’s not true, right? What she said in there? I-I didn’t kill him. I wasn’t… Fuck!” His eyes were brimming with desperate tears, his breathing quick. You could hear his heart race from feet away.
“Of course not. She’s a deranged psychopath,” you emphasized, although you didn’t understand why you had to spell it out for him. He already knew that. “Why are you so upset? Don’t let her get under your skin. She’s thriving off it like a hyena.”
“I know. I just-…” He took a deep breath. “What if she’s right?”
Confused, your brow furrowed. “About what?”
“Me. Us,” he said, not making necessarily more sense. “What if it’s true, huh?” He blinked at you and swallowed harshly, completely out of breath. “Look, uhm… I-I don’t know how to say this. I’ve never admitted it before, but recently, things have become a lot clearer to me…” He paused for a moment, rubbing his mouth with two fingers before he found your eyes again. “I’ve always had feelings for you, you know? There’s always been this… pull. Even back then. Since the first time I met you.”
You inhaled sharply, your lungs incapable of fitting more air as you held your breath for several heartbeats. “Beau, it’s okay.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know if it is,” he said. The tortured tone of his voice pained you. “I mean, I would’ve never done anything. You need to know that, okay? I would’ve never hurt you or Randy. I never would’ve come between you two.”
“I know that,” you assured him. You wanted to take his hands in yours, touch him, hold him. But you knew it would only make the turmoil of emotions worse instead of better, like pouring oil into the fire.
“But sometimes, just for a blink of an eye, I caught myself wondering, you know? What it would be like to be with you… Hell, I wondered all the damn time. Even on your freaking wedding day,” he confessed. “That’s the kind of horrible person I am. And now, that I am with you and so fucking happy, I feel guilty every time that things worked out the way they did. ‘Cause it does feel like I’m happy that I’m with you, and he’s not.”
You let out a heavy sigh through your nose and finally took his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers as you squeezed them. “I know all of that,” you said, his brow rising in bewildered surprise. “In terms of being honest… I guess a part of me always knew you felt this way, but I never let myself go there. And yeah, considering everything, it’s only natural to feel guilty. But you’ve still done nothing wrong. We’ve done nothing wrong. You can’t control how you feel. Neither can I. And I’m not saying everything always was exactly right, and we did everything by the book, but I loved Randy with all my heart. There wasn’t room for anyone else… And now, I love you. But it was never at the same time, you know?”
Beau pulled you into his arms and held you tightly, kissing your crown. “No, I know. Trust me. I know that part.”
“I love you, okay?” You tiptoed to claim his lips, putting your whole heart into the kiss. You didn’t want to hurt him, but you wouldn’t lie, either. “Diane doesn’t get to use that against us. Everything that happened, everything we’ve done right or wrong – that’s between you and me… and maybe God at some point. But surely not that psychotic bitch in there. She’s doesn’t know what we think or feel, so don’t give her ammunition, alright?”
Beau nodded and pecked your lips, his hands caressing your cheeks. “I love you, too.”
Jenny cleared her throat as she carefully snuck up on you. “You guys okay?”
You gave her a soft smile. “Yeah. What d’you got?”
“Well, since Diane walked in and became our prime suspect, the new DA on the case signed a search warrant for her property, office, car, and all her devices,” Jenny informed you.
“Alright, take Pops with you and head to her house first. Call me if you find somethin’ we can burn that witch with,” Beau ordered, putting his sheriff hat back on, jumping into the saddle full-throttle.
“On it, boss.” Jenny gave him a resolute nod and hurried down the hall.
January 2021
“¡Feliz navidad!”
As you opened the motel room door, you found Beau on your doorstep with a giant grin on his freckled face and not one but two bottles of tequila. One in each hand that he joyfully wiggled in the air.
You chuckled, shaking your head at him. “Christmas was two weeks ago, payaso.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t here, so merry belated Christmas,” he retorted and strolled right in as you held the door open for him. “Can’t believe you stayed here and didn’t go home for Christmas.”
“Meh, wasn’t in the mood to be placated and pitied by my whole family. I know they all mean well, but if I get one more concerned head tilt and a ‘How are you holding up, sweetie?’, tendré que apuñalar a alguien,” you huffed.
Beau narrowed his eyes at you, slightly amused. “I only understood the word ‘stab’, but I think I get the gist,” he joked, laughing. “I see your Spanish is getting better. So, how was your depressing and lonely Christmas without your family?”
“Nice guilt trip, asshole,” you retorted playfully and scoffed. “Great, actually. I went out with the guys from our team who stayed here, too. Got insanely drunk on some Christmas cocktail Ignacio created. And some hot guy taught me how to Salsa dance. He got a little handsy towards the end, which, granted, is the most action I’ve seen in five months, so…”
Beau’s lips thinned as he weighted your words. “Huh, so to recap: you got wasted with five guys in a dingy bar and second base with some stranger. Sounds like Christmas-y fun.”
You frowned slightly, watching him open one of the bottles of tequila. “Alright, there were no bases being hit, Judge Judy. How was your Christmas?”
“Not as fun, I can tell you that much,” Beau muttered and gulped some tequila straight from the bottle.
Your nose scrunched, lips pursed. “You and Carla got into it again?”
“Oh yeah, big time,” he replied. “I’ve only been home twice, including Christmas. You’d think she’d be more happy to see me, but instead I get yelled at for not being home more and criticized like I’m some drunk.”
Your narrowed look drifted to the bottle of liquor tightly clasped in his hands as he plopped down on the bed with a sigh. “Well, you know, not really making an argument for yourself there, gaucho.”
He scowled at you. “Who’s side are you on?”
“No one’s!”
“What, you think I’m some alcoholic?”
You pursed your lips and hesitated briefly. “No… But I do think you have a slight issue with... occurrence and... volume.”
He sent you a small glare. “That’s the same thing, just different words.”
“Look, I get it. It’s not like I’ve been a healthy example these past months,” you said, hoping a softer approach would work. You sat down next to him on the bed. “It’s been hard for all of us. Grief wrecks you. But you have a family to think about. Maybe it’s time you go home… for good.”
His brow drew into creases, green eyes drilling a hole into you. “Do you want me to go?”
Your lips parted for a moment, reluctant to answer as his question hung in the air between you two. “It’s not about what I want. You should do what’s best for you.”
Beau considered your words, his head bobbing. “I wanna stay. I need to see this through. For Randy,” he declared, although it was only partially true. Another part of him stayed for you. There was an electrostatic force, invisible to the naked heart and irresistible to the free mind. A force that kept him in your orbit and bonded his atoms with yours.
Maybe you should’ve told him to go home, been more insistent on making him leave, clearer on what was best. But truthfully and selfishly so, you liked having him around. He was your constant, your little piece of home in a strange land and an even stranger new life. And you didn’t want to navigate this new life alone.
“You sure?” you still asked for the sake of your conscience, but the determination on his face over his decision made your heart sing in relief.
“I’m sure. Just wish things were easier…”
Walking back into the interrogation room, you smiled victoriously as you slapped a folder full of evidence on the metal table in front of Diane. The deputies had found “a buttload” in Poppernak’s words.
Regardless, you knew Diane wasn’t stupid. If the deputies found something, she had wanted you to find it. For some reason, she wanted to be arrested. But you didn’t care what sick game she was playing. Cuffing her meant there’d be no more bodies, no more victims.
She gave you a titillated sneer, glimpsing at the file in front of her before finding your eyes again. She bit her lip, smirking. “Oooh, lookey, what you found there,” she mocked.
“It’s over, Diane. You’re under arrest for multiple murders among a plethora of other charges. But you already know that,” you told her firmly.
Beau’s features were stone-cold. He was pissed, radiating that fire burning inside of him for miles. He made the Yellowstone supervolcano look harmless. “Stand up and turn around. Hands behind your back.”
Diane did as told without any protest. She grinned at you the whole time when Beau manhandled her roughly into her handcuffs, bending her over the metal table as he read her the Miranda rights. You couldn’t shake the eerie feeling in your stomach, though. You had your killer, but somehow this felt far from over. You knew she had an ace up her sleeve and was waiting to lay it on the table.
“But we were just getting started,” she snarled. “Aren’t we having fun?”
“Fun usually looks a little different for me,” Beau retorted and forced her back onto the chair as soon as she was cuffed.
“I bet it does, Sheriff,” she purred with a flirtatious glimmer in her gray eyes. “I think I’ll wait with my confession till tomorrow. Let you two lovebirds enjoy your last night together.”
Beau and you shared a wary look at that. But deep in your heart, you knew there was nothing that could tear you apart. And you hoped Beau knew it, too.
“Look, bitch, I don’t care what you think you’ve planned, but it won’t drive a wedge between us. All it’s gonna do is piss us off more, got it?” you threatened and leaned forward on the table with an angrily knit brow.
Diane chuckled. “Confident. I always liked you, Agent. Aren’t you even a little curious what I’ve got in store for you?”
“No,” you replied without hesitation. You looked up at Beau and rose from your seat. “Let’s go. She’s not gonna talk tonight.”
Beau nodded, putting his hand on the small of your back, leading you outside the door. And just as your hand reached the handle, Diane decided to play her ace of hearts.
“It’s about your husband,” she noted innocently. You could hear the satisfaction in her voice as your whole body stiffened, muscles freezing. Beau felt it, too. His heart began to race. “Dead husband, of course. I always forget that part. Silly me.”
Beau’s hand on your back gave you a soft caress, telling you it was okay to turn around and find out. You didn’t want to care. And most of all, you didn’t want Beau to see that you did. But as you met his forest-green eyes, they were full of understanding.
“What about him?” you asked bravely, your chin held high as you faced her.
Her grin widened before her gaze wandered to Beau. “It’s in my pocket. Mind giving me a hand, Sheriff? You can even touch. I know you have a hard time keeping those hands to yourself,” she taunted.
You scoffed exasperatedly, rolling your eyes. “I’ll do it.”
“Oh, c’mon, Agent. Let me have a little fun. I’m about to be felt up by enough women,” she quipped.
You ignored her, hauling her to her feet by her elbow and holding her in place as your other hand dived into her back pocket. Your brow furrowed as your fingers identified a small plastic stick. Your frown deepened as you pulled out a familiar thumb drive. It wasn’t the first one you had received from her.
Twenty-five.
Had she taken another victim before giving herself up? What was so special about this one? What did it have to do with Randy? Did he ever cheat on you? Did Beau know?
You found that quite unbelievable. In fact, you knew there was no chance in hell that was true. But that did nothing to ease your conscience.
Your hand trembled in sync with your palpitating heartbeats. You tried to steady it as best as you could and keep your jumpy nerves in line as you slipped the small drive into its designated outlet on your laptop, not wanting the team that had gathered around and behind you to catch on to your unnerving emotions.
As you clicked on the MP4 file, your heart came to a standstill when a video popped open in the player. Pressing Play, you sucked in a breath and then forgot to breathe at all.
It only took you a glimpse to die inside.
“Oh God…”
It felt like suffocating. Like jumping off a steep seaside cliff and drowning. Your body hit the ocean rocks; your heart split open.
It only took Beau a second longer to catch on. The horror in your voice had put him on immediate alert before he recognized the figure on the screen, too.
As your head spun and your stomach turned upside down, you couldn’t find any words and bolted outside. You needed fresh air. You needed to breathe. And you needed to goddamn puke.
“Beau, what’s going on? Who’s the guy on the video? You know him?” Jenny asked, her gaze worriedly flashing in the direction you had fled.
Beau swallowed the thick lump in his throat, forcing the name out that had haunted him all those past years. “It’s Randy.”
Chapter 9: Marooned – NOVEMBER 29
Dun, dun, dun... The dead have risen in Montana! This is where it becomes a Walking Dead crossover (at least if you ask Donno 😂). Did you call the little resurrection action beforehand? 👀 Lemme know all your wild thoughts in the comments! 💭
So happy to be back with y'all! 🤍
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#polaris#beau arlen#beau arlen x reader#beau arlen x female reader#beau arlen x you#beau arlen reader insert#beau arlen fanfic#jensen ackles fanfic#jensen ackles characters
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hi!!! i love your works<3
could you maybe write vessel x reader first date?
A sappy first date with the big guy. He’s a bit nervous. But so are you.
Vessel x GN reader.
Under the cut ~ <3
It’s a nice place. It’s quiet, the lights are dim, the booths are made in such a way that it’s like you’re on a whole other planet when you sit in them. Which normally, would be phenomenal. Having such a level of privacy while enjoying your dinner, it’s perfect. But this time it feels like a curse. Like the world is working against you. Because sat across from you is Vessel. He’s in a freshly ironed button up, a dark blue that looks almost black under these lights. His hair is combed back out of his face and he looks at you like you hung the stars. It’s awful.
It’s your first date.
And he’s doing absolutely everything right.
The problem is, every time your eyes meet you’ve half a mind to tell him you love him.
You’ve known each other a while, and he’s always had that effect. But here, on your first date, when the tension between you two is burning up the room and the feelings you kept hidden for so long are pretty much sitting on the table in front of him? Yeah long story short you’re both clearly nervous as all hell and neither of you know how to approach it. Telling him you love him in a panic attempt at easing into the night probably isn’t the way to go. But this date is just so different and it feels so real, your panic stems from more than just wanting to break the ice, it’s coming from the little voice in your head that’s telling you if this date goes the way you want it to… he’s it for you.
You can only hope to the god he spends so much time worshiping that he feels somewhat the same way.
You like Vessel.
You want him to like you back.
“Look, uh… we don’t have to do this. I’d never want to push you.”
His voice, which you’re sure is proof of heaven alone, snaps you right out of your panic. Then, gives you even worse panic.
“Huh? Why?”
There’s obvious worry in your tone, you know it. He picks up on it, because of course he does.
“I just worry you’re not really present. I’d hate for this to be something you’re just trying to get through, sometimes two people just aren’t supposed to go there… you know?”
His eyes are cast down. He doesn’t want to watch you agree with him. He can’t do it. He can’t make himself watch you sigh in relief. He can’t make himself watch you realise this was indeed a mistake. He can’t make himself smile at you as you tell him you’re sorry but he’s right.
“Oh god… Vessel I’m so sorry.”
Hm. If you listen close enough… you might just be able to hear the sound of his heart shattering in his chest over the clinking of the cutlery throughout the restaurant.
“No, please it’s okay. It happens. You’re still my-“
“It’s just been a long time since I’ve been this excited about a date, got a bit lost in my own head there for a moment. I’m sorry. I’m here I promise.”
Oh fucking Christ thank Sleep one hundred times to the moon and back again. His heart thumps wildly against his ribcage, he’s almost positive you can hear it. And he doesn’t even attempt to hide the sigh of relief that escapes him and the happy smile that graces his lips.
“That is… yeah that’s a relief. I won’t lie to you.”
He huffs a nervous laugh as he fiddles with the tablecloth hanging over the side of the table between you.
“I mean, there wouldn’t have been any hard feelings of course… but I’m really happy you still want to be here.”
You’re silent for a moment while you decide whether or not what you’re about to do is a bad idea or not. But you want to show him you’re serious about this date, you want him to see you enjoying his presence. You need to snap yourself out of it and make some moves.
So you get up.
His head snaps up and he watches you slide out of the booth with a look of complete dread. He straightens up. His hands fall to his sides and his face turns beet red. His jaw opens and closes as he tries to force words out but no sounds escape him. That is until you round the table and slide in next to him.
You offer him a little smile as your side presses against his. Your knees bump together under the table and your hands brush as you situate yourself. He uses his other hand to press his face into it. His voice muffled slightly as he groans quietly into it.
“Fucking Christ… you’re going to send me into an early grave.”
You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. You purposely bump his knees with your own this time, trying to lighten the mood a little.
“I’m sorry… did I scare you?”
“Yes. Yes you did. I thought I’d ruined it all.”
He laughs a little, and he looks down at where you’re pressed up against him. His cheeks are flushed but he looks happy. His eyes sparkle and when he grins down at you, all his teeth are on full display. It’s the kind of smile that would make your cheeks hurt a little bit. The kind that’s a bit awkward and feels too big for your face.
It suits him.
“I’m sorry, Vess. I really like you, I was worried about it not working and kind of got too deep into worrying about it.”
He blinks down at you, it’s a slow blink, his cheeks are still tinted red from your close proximity and you swear for one moment it looks like he’s got hearts in his eyes.
“Don’t panic, love. It’s definitely working.”
His voice is low, it changes the mood almost immediately and all of a sudden it’s too warm in this booth. Who’s idea was it to cozy up to him like this. It feels like you’re suffocating again, he’s so overwhelming when all he’s doing is speaking to you.
He was right before, the tablecloth that hangs over the side of the table really is that interesting. You can’t stop yourself from fiddling with it, you’re starting to feel awkward again. You hear him force a deep breath into his lungs above you before his very large very beautiful hand encompasses your much smaller one, and intertwines his fingers between yours. There’s a slight tremble, you can feel it when you squeeze his hand tight enough. You’re positive doing that made it worse but it’s so endearing that you can’t even feel guilty.
Everything about Vessel is so endearing.
“Thank you for saying yes to me.”
If you weren’t sitting so close you probably wouldn’t have heard him. He gazes down at you, eyes so full of hope. It makes your throat close up and need prickle through your chest.
“Of course, Vess. You thought I would have said no to you?”
“No. I didn’t think you would…”
Cheeky fucker.
“… but I’m just so happy you said yes. I’m excited to be here, like this, with you. I’m sure it’s obvious.”
You lean up and press a soft kiss to his cheek, this causes a chain reaction, starting with his furiously blushing cheeks (yet again), then he smiles so wide he has to look at the ceiling just to calm himself down, his breathing picks up and his hand squeezes yours where he’s holding it in his lap. He looks back down at you with a smile that says a lot. It’s a wobbly smile, his chin wrinkles up and his eyes squint a little. It screams hope. Like most of his body language does tonight. But this smile is the epitome of ‘I know you know exactly how I feel about you and I know you feel the same way.’
Nerves and excitement crackle in the air between you.
“I’m excited too. For tonight. And for our next date. And the ones after that. I’m sure that’s obvious.”
He nods at you, his wobbly smile grows. Somehow, you didn’t think it could get any bigger but it does. He’s gotta cast his eyes down, he looks at your intertwined hands and nods again, at them… to himself… to you? You’re not sure, but he’s sure of whatever he’s nodding about. And that feels good.
.
.
.
<3 <3 <3
Thank you for reading.
#hehehehehee nervous first date with vessel#he’s so sweet on you#wants it to work so bad#sleep token#sleep token fanfiction#sleep token x reader#vessel#sleep token vessel#vessel sleep token#vessel x reader#vessel sleep token x reader#sleep token vessel x reader#wine spilt#marys musings
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HAIIIIII can i request something heheheh if yes TYSMMMM and my request isss deadpool and wolverine x chubby feminine male reader and male reader is like insecure about his body and femininity and wade and logan makes sure to let him know that hes beautiful inside and out hehe i havent really seen much x chubby male reader lately nor at all and i have been feeling down about my weight(again) and i would reallllyyyyy appreciate if u can do this request hhee but if u dont thats fine aswell TYSMMMM ONCE AGAINNNNN AND TAKE CAREEEE💖💖💖💖💖
YEAH I CAN!!!! im assuming you want cis male reader but if you were looking for trans, i can rewrite stuff!
sorry it took so long! depression has been kicking my ass recently
warnings for bullying, body dysmorphia, mean self talk and thoughts revolving around hating how you look, use of feminine pet names for reader
You’re their princess!
poolverine x chubby feminine male reader
You’d been curled up in bed since that morning when you’d swear that those teenagers were laughing about you. You’d been wearing a cute pink hello kitty shirt and the skirt Wade had got you. You’d told him over and over again that it was too short but he’d insisted that you were as cute as a button. Logan had said so too so you wore it but then those teenagers…
Logan and Wade hadn’t gotten home yet so you just laid in bed, covered to your neck. You didn’t wanna look at yourself. You’d thrown the skirt and shirt onto the floor and changed into Logan’s hoodie that was way too big for you. It covered everything and that was your only comfort. You just felt so insecure right now.
You must have drifted off because you jolted awake when the front door slammed. Your boyfriend’s voices drifted up into your ears and you burrowed deeper into the blankets. You didn’t want them to see you like this. You rolled over to face the wall and pretended to be asleep.
Wade poked his head into you guys bedroom and watched you for a moment before beckoning Logan over. You heard his footsteps and wanted to turn back over but your make up was messy and you didn’t wanna look at yourself in the mirror.
“He’s so cute, ain’t he, Logie? I just wanna kiss our baby all over his beautiful body,” Wade said with a sweet smile as he locked his hand in Logans.
Logan grunted a yes and nodded as he leaned against the doorframe. “He asleep?” He grunted.
You tried to stay still and quiet. You just wanted to stay in bed without them trying to make you feel better.
Wade chuckled and let go of Logan’s hand. He walked over to the bed and poked you in the shoulder. You jumped and squealed into your pillow.
“Awwwww, baby’s awake!” He said with a giggle before crawling onto the bed and pulling you into his lap with great difficulty coz you didn’t wanna move.
He nudged your face so he could see you and his face dropped when he did. “Baby, why’s your makeup like that?”
Logan had been watching from the doorframe but when Wade said that, he quickly closed the gap between him and the bed. He climbed on the bed and when he saw your tear streaked face, there was murder in his eyes. “Who hurt you, doll?”
You flinched away from him when he said that.
“Don’t call me that. It’s stupid. I can’t look like a girl! I’m too chubby and it doesn’t look right and I should just bite the bullet and dress like a guy,” you rambled, faster than Wade, as you tried to turn away again.
Wade and Logan immediately jumped into gotta fix this mode. Before you even knew what was going on, Wade had pulled the blanket off you and Logan had taken you off him and settled you on his lap. Wade hopped off the bed and picked up your clothes and put them in the washing basket. He grabbed one of your cute pink hoodies and those hello kitty pj pants you liked so much and laid them out on the end of the bed.
“They’re for when we get ya feeling better. Can’t have you drowning in Logan’s hoodie,” he said with a sad smile as he sat back down.
Logan stroked your hair and grabbed a make up wipe off the bedside table. He gently wiped away your makeup and murmured sweet nothings into your ear. The ickyness started to subside but you still felt it. It was still there in your stomach and the back of your mind, waiting for them to leave so you could cry some more.
“We ain’t gonna make you hash it out, sweetheart. You don’t gotta tell us a thing, okay? But can you let us say somethings?” Wade asked gently as he took ahold of your hands.
Everything in you wanted to say no. They were just taking pity on you. Why would anyone like you? You weren’t skinny and you were too girly. But slowly you nodded.
Wade smiled and tilted his head. “You are the most beautiful man I’ve ever set my eyes on, you know. When we first met, I just knew that I wanted you and when you spoke and your heart shone through, I knew it even more.”
That was a lot more sincere than you were expecting but you still felt icky. They’d leave soon. Tears started to well up in your eyes but before you could wipe them away, Logan did so.
“We love you, pretty boy. We’ll always love you. You’re the most feminine badass I know and you’re not too chubby. You’re just the right amount. You’re perfect cuddle size, sweetheart,” Logan said with the most gentle smile.
You were crying now. How’d they always accept you when it seemed nobody else did? Logan wiped away your tears and after getting a nod from you, Wade gently pulled Log’s hoodie off you. As he picked up your hoodie, Logan leaned down and pressed a kiss to your tummy.
“You’re the most beautiful princess out there, baby. You can be a man and still be pretty and you can be chubby. You’re not too chubby, okay? We’re gonna love you always,” Logan reminded you.
Wade helped you into the hoodie and then into the pants. Logan then helped you lay down and he cradled you against his chest. Wade snuggled up against you, his arms around your waist, tracing hearts on your tummy.
“We love you, baby,” Wade said with a giggle.
The three of you drifted off to sleep and that icky feeling left for a while longer.
#stormy writes things#x reader#x m!reader#x male reader#logan howlett x male reader#wolverine x male reader#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson x male reader#logan howlett x male reader x wade wilson#x chubby reader#x chubby male reader#x feminine reader#x feminine male reader#logan howlett x chubby reader#wade wilson x chubby reader#logan howlett x feminine male reader#wade wilson x feminine male reader#logan howlett x chubby feminine male reader#wade wilson x chubby feminine male reader#requested
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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3
#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom#s3 was soooo much fun for me#and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha#things just feel so different in the fandom now#both the fandom has changed and I have changed#and of course the STORY has changed#and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react#cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol#committed to spreading positivity#and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore#this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters#and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing#that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol#like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining#and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t#I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd#i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol#cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter#I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha#but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter#or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction#is that too much nuance for tumblr lol#see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…
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every day without fail I pace and talk to myself like I’m fucking gollum thinking about how much the Isabella arc could’ve been a amazing arc where Edward goes through a scenario deeply similar to what he did to Kristen if given the right buildup (aka making him slowly get to the mental state where he would date a girl who looks exactly like his first girlfriend no questions asked)
it’s not just the fact Oswald killed Edward’s lover to get to him just what Ed did to Kristen. It’s also the power dymantic, how this was the first person they truly felt like cared for them deeply, the exception. It’s about how they both have power above that emotional investment (Edward being psychically stronger than Kristen, Oswald having financial power over Edward since he is his boss and Edward also lives under him). It is about how they both decided to keep a part of them after the fallout whether it be Edward with Kristen’s glasses or Oswald with Edward’s frozen body. A perverse trophy. IT IS ABOUT HOW BOTH FALLOUTS WERE TAKEN AS A LESSON ABOUT LOVE TO JUSTIFY WHAT THEY DID.
I’m so mad that they fumbled this arc on both sides. I am in deep unspeakable agony as I type this. Honestly their first mistake was writing Isabella to be someone who matched Edward’s freak since they quite literally had that with Oswald. But whatever I don’t care for this mid show
#rambles#edward nygma#gotham#nygmobblepot#gotham 2014#gotham fox#Whatever idgaf#I know I said this before but idc I’ll say it again. It should’ve been framed like that I’m so mad#I know there is some intentional shit in this but I don’t feel like it fully was#If it were then the writers would realize how sketchy Isabella is. She works better as an abuser I’m sorry. I don’t like it#Gotham saying they looked into ocd for Edward character wise and then making Isabella do unconsenual exposure therapy one week in and he’s#just fine. His worry is fixed. Wow great ocd rep Gotham wow ur so good at writing mental illness#I know this isn’t related to my post really but it just sucks. I struggle daily with intrusive thoughts and his fear of killing her felt#similar to ocd obsessions even though he is a real threat to her. It sucks seeing suck a reckless action to try to quell that fear be#celebrated by the narrative. Dawg this wouldn’t fucking make him feel better he’s only known her for one week my guy is going to go kms#whatever whatever I don’t give a fuck. Why would I care about gothams constant ableism I know they do it
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Trying to keep a lid on it but. Yeah. Literally don’t know what’s it like to NOT be platonically neglected IRL my whole damn life, only that I know this One Person doesn’t deserve to be at the epicenter of it anymore than I deserved to have been at the epicenter of theirs a year ago now.
…why am I like this. Why are we like this.
#tiger’s roar#…but like. good god. someone being Actually Genuinely KIND and insisting they DO like my company and want my friendship#(and is arguably mutually attracted and THOSE feelings of mine and what I’m picking up from them just won’t DISPELL already)#just. really stirs the muck. gets at that emotional constipation in my brain’s grease trap#then having TWICE now having Activities Suggested and THIS Time in FRONT of people then like…never following through?#all but thinking aloud with planning to witnesses things that sound less like hanging out and more like a date#and then just…not doing it?#when the Reality is Apparently Too Busy?#us fighting earlier this year over quality time essentially#when all I want is to have like. maybe an hour or two once a week or once a month#to enjoy someone else’s company. get a fucking REPRIEVE from my life#that’s…that’s it? nothing grand. just have the time found where it can be without causing strain?#I’m actually NOT a romantic even when I have romantic feelings? they just make me yearn for basic contact all the more#I’ll always be ‘too platonic’ within a romantic relationship so no it’s never going to be an ‘expectation’#MAYBE the one with unrealistic expectations is the guy who watches romance films and struggles with AllorNothing thinking perhaps?#and…yeah. trying to not feel resentful of their time spent this summer with existing friends when apparently not working 20+ hrs a week#in addition to their own research and god knows what else#…because it feels like there’s no space for me. and probably never will be. and I have never been ‘cool’ a day in my life#sure I own it as an adult. especially a 30s adult.#but having people recognize me as kind and supportive and easy to talk to 1:1 (my group aqauaintance/casual friendships SUCK)#but. basically never getting to keep any of them as friends? quickly ditched? treated like a used bandaid?#it…gets to me alright? like I only exist as Catch/Treat/Release but for people#which sure. the friend I’m angry at HAS been frustrated about me deserving better. looks at me like I’m christmas.#and I’m now fairly close friends with their beloved sibling. and despite things having THE Worst Start Ever their family seems to trust me#…but…it’s just…think I deserve better? think I’m worthy of your esteem and respect? think I’m kind and approachable?#want me to feel safe and relaxed enough to be myself? then just…do better.#ask when I’m available to kill a few hours then…follow through on that. that’s it.#not all the time. and my ‘expectation’ is to always be either neglected or used and feeling jaded about it#just…a repreive. for both of us. that’s it.
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