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ichbinmeltdown · 9 hours ago

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We seriously need Starscream to win

LET HIM BE HAPPY AAAHHHH (also am I the only one who has a ton of trouble hurting/killing the characters I like??? I get too attached to them and I almost couldn't even kill off Megatron in something! ... Unfortunately for him almost isn't enough, I want Meltdown to give him the Sentinel treatment. After dousing him with hot sulfuric acid and yanking out some wires so he can't get away, that is. I'M SORRY I WAS LISTENING TO TOO MUCH ANDREW WK AND ENDED UP THINKING OF THOSE SUPER VIOLENT MLP MUSIC VIDEOS)

I'm not sure yet since the storyline for my continuity is still very much a wip and I'm still dealing with this awful burnout (that's even making it hard for me to finish this SFM animation I started, design characters or keep going with a RP I started with a friend last year) but I'm thinking maybe in Memory Leak one thing that happens is that Starscream finally leaves the Decepticons for good. Maybe he ends up joining the Autobots just because he wants to fight back against Megatron- or maybe he ends up just entirely dropping out of the war and doing something else like going back to science.

That's probably how the whole war is going to end- the Decepticons' ranks just fall apart completely. Part of it has to do with the fact that they're all becoming a lot more glitchy and erratic, as well as forgetting their past (at first mostly historical events that are now lost due to Cybertron being destroyed- but even their own thanks to the corruption, thus running the risk of not knowing why they were fighting in the first place) but another part of it has to do with Megatron's corruption making him get so abusive and so over-the-top at times that even some of his own Decepticons start fearing not just for him but themselves. A few different events and uncovering historical events- not just lost from Cybertron's destruction, but both sides of the war deliberately covering things up- further sow uncertainty and eventually most of them come to the conclusion that Megatron has warped the Decepticon cause that they were originally fighting for beyond all recognition and the Autobots are really shocked to find out that in the beginning, they were actually on the same page. (Sorta like in TFOne, but not exactly. I hope this makes sense)

Anyway sorry I started going on about Memory Leak aaaah

They really did put a lot of effort into it! G1 has a lot of genuine passion behind it, mistakes and all.

I'm almost scared to keep watching it though because I've gotten extremely attached to all these characters and don't want anything bad to happen to them, but I keep hearing little bits and pieces about how this character and that character gets killed in the movie and stuff and I'm like "DON'T YOU TOUCH SOUNDWAVE OR ASTROTRAIN OR JAZZ OR BLASTER OR THE SEEKER BROTHERS OR (lists like 15 other characters lol) DON'T YOU DARE PLEASE AAAAH"

I just had a huge realisation yesterday and I wanted to share this after going through some pretty horrible stuff over the weekend: Something I've always asked myself ever since getting into G1 Transformers was "why do you like Starscream so much even though he's a narcissistic bully? Why are you, someone who is a victim of narcissistic abuse, taking comfort in a narcissistic character?" Well, I think I finally figured it out. Because Starscream is also a victim of that very same abuse. I mean, he's beaten, called names, bullied, unappreciated, abused, and put through the wringer…and he internalised all that abuse because he knew no other way. He had no one to turn to, and the few bots who did support him, he treated like dirt. Once he had that freedom and power, he abused it and became the very thing that abused him. I have no doubt he was always self-centred, selfish, had a huge ego, etc. before all that but honestly? I think Megatron's abuse caused him to turn out the way he did. I could have turned out that way and it's a little scary, some of the parallels I'm drawing with him.

@ichbinmeltdown wrote a great analysis on Starscream that I want to share here:

"Megatron was abusive as hell to Starscream. He treated him horribly, and I legitimately almost cried a few times watching it. There's an episode called Starscream's Brigade that introduces the Combaticons, and I think that perfectly demonstrates the cycle of abuse. The entire world is against Starscream at pretty much every turn throughout the series, but none more so than Megatron. Every word out of his speech synthesizer to Starscream is to berate him, and he's constantly throwing him around, beating him, even ripping out his speech synthesizer in a scene from a previous episode (Hoist Goes Hollywood, IIRC). His own teammates don't like him, and even his brothers- Skywarp and Thundercracker, going off of the idea they're brothers- just... allow Megatron to abuse him. (Not to get into headcanons here, but I personally believe that Megatron's abuse fractured the Elite Trine's family dynamic. They are still brothers and love each other, but they're all too afraid of Megatron to really... stand up for each other as they did in the past.) And Starscream seemed to just snap in this episode. He treated the Combaticons poorly, and even when teaming up with Shockwave, he subjected him to a lot of the same ridicule and torment that Megatron put him through. He failed to realize Shockwave was the one of the only bots who would give him a chance- and unfortunately lashed out at him, which ruined his chances of Shockwave ever being a true friend and ally to him. Once Starscream had finally gotten a taste of power and not being under another bot's boot, he too became the very thing that he lived in fear of. And that really is how the cycle goes- when you're finally free from abuse, it can be tempting to overcompensate and take back all the power you were robbed of, at any cost whatsoever. Starscream, like D16 in Transformers One, snapped up this opportunity."

And the sad thing is, I've seen this in real life and I've internalised some of the abuse I've dealt with too. I'm not proud of it. Like the Seeker Trine, my own family dynamic has been fractured by similar abuse. I know there's traces of narcissism in my behaviour too, and I'm NOT proud of it. Maybe this is why I can forgive Starscream for being a narc, because I can see a little bit of my own personality/attitude/behaviour in him. Maybe it's because I know where it came from, I get why he acts that way and it's not just random and out of the blue. Maybe it's because--and I know this is a bold statement--I don't think he would do some of the stuff my own family did to me (blah blah blah he's a fictional character).

I didn't mean for this to turn into a long rant, so

TLDR: I finally figured out that part of the reason I love and relate to Starscream so much despite him internalising some of the abuse I went through, is because he was the victim of that same abuse.

#(i don't really want spoilers though so i'd rather not know if he makes it but all i can say is he better)#(i remember ragequitting death note for the same reason and i don't want the same to happen with tf)#transformers #headcanons #gif

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cillianmurphysdimples · 2 days ago

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A female Y/N / Cillian fanfic (Part Fifteen)

Absolutely not based on anything real at all, all totally fictional, fanciful and all total bollocks.

Warnings for sexual references and language. Adult themes. Not suitable for under 18s.

We Got Issues

Part Fifteen: Y/N is getting by with minimal contact with Cillian whilst he continues to work away, but a rare chance to see him on a Zoom call brightens her mood. When she gets a call the same evening from his sister, she prepares herself for a Corkonian takeover at the end of the following week. His sister says something, and she finds herself taken aback by Cillian's reaction. [Family life/Fluff/Angst] (I've run out of grey haired GIFs that apply so take this one!)

@remembering-angels @dragonsneversharetheirtreasure @aesthetic0cherryblossom @meadowshelby @strangeions @meister95 @vivianleighwishesshewasme

Yoke - thing (keep getting asked about that one)

Gatting - heavy drinking/drinking

Leaba - Irish word for bed

Síle is pronounced like Shee-lah

.......

You went three days with just a few texts between you and Cillian once he'd landed back in England. He had night filming, interviews, and a desperate need for sleep to occupy him. But on the evening of the fourth day, sitting in your office, it surprises you to receive a Zoom invite a few moments after you log out of your accounts for work. You can barely contain the buzz of excitement as you connect and wait to see his face. His face fills your screen and it's so good to see him. His beanie is pulled over his hair, and he's got a coat over his clothes that tells you he's either coming in or going out.

“Hello,” you beam. “It's really good to see your face.”

He smiles brightly back at you, “Ah fuck - it's good to see you, too.”

“Are you coming in or going out?” You ask, and you chuckle when he looks down at himself then back up at you.

“Heading out,” he says. “Dinner with Packy, Sophie and Matt.” He elaborates. “But I wanted to see you a wee bit before I go.”

“You had a busy day?” You ask. He'd text you around five am, having finished a night of filming again, and let you know he was back to filming in the daytime tomorrow. You didn't know, though, I'd he'd fallen into bed after that or if he had a string of things to occupy him and planned on sleeping tonight instead.

He shakes his head, “Not overly. I was asleep til gone eleven,” he grins, “Then I sat on my arse for a while but it was in front of this yoke for interviews so I suppose I was working.” He chuckles. “I had the glasses on there for a bit, my eyes are wrecked from looking at this all afternoon. I don't know how you cope with it for work.” He shakes his head. “Can't wait to crawl back into me leaba later.”

“You'd live in your bed if we let you.” You laugh lightly, and he grins back at you. “Still coming back home for a few days after next week?” You ask him hopefully.

“Of course,” he nods earnestly. “Missing you farting in the bed,” raises his eyebrows and the giggle he erupts into as he slags you leaves you unable to defend yourself even in false annoyance.

“You're a prick,” you smirk, shaking your head. “But I miss you. Not having you moaning at me to turn the brain-rot TV off is actually getting boring.” He laughs lightly, and you watch his tongue draw back and begin flicking against his bottom teeth. “Did you talk to the boys?”

He nods his head, “Yeah, just off the phone there actually.” He says with a bright expression. “They're grand by all accounts.” His head whips around to the door behind him suddenly and you can hear the faint sound of it knocking. He gets up from the seat he's in. You watch the screen as he walks towards the door of his hotel room and drags it open enough to see out. “Howeya…no, you're fine, come in. Just talking to Y/N, there.” His voice is quieter with the distance from the laptop but you can hear him well enough. You watch him step aside from the door and pull it further open, and there's a little anxiety in the pit of your stomach in anticipation of whomever is on the other side of it. You relax almost instantly when it's Packy who walks into view.

With a cheeky grin, he approaches the laptop and all but shoves his face into the camera. “Well, Y/N, what's the craic?” He laughs, and you can hear Cillian's light giggle behind him.

“Hiya,” you smile brightly back. “You lot out on the piss tonight then?”

Packy purses his lips and shakes his head comically, “God no, no getting on it tonight.” He insists as he steps back from the laptop. You can see Cillian loitering with a little awkwardness, like he's a little on edge now that somebody is in his space, but beyond his hand being close to his mouth, he gives no other indication of unease. “Well, I suppose we could?” He looks to Cillian and you watch Cillian's brows rise up, “Well Sophie's fella is driving, there's no use everyone being a pioneer for the night.” He laughs and Cillian shakes his head with a bright smile.

“You'll have to take his shoes off for him if that's the case, he's not so good with them after a few.” You speak up, and while Cillian makes a face and laughs lightly Packy doesn't seem to have heard you at all. “And take him to the toilet before you leave a bar, yeah? I'd rather not be WhatsApp’d another string of images of him peeing in the street.”

Packy laughs - evidentially he'd heard you that time and of the event in question - and points at Cillian who shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “Don't worry, Y/N, if he gets it out in the street we'll give him a slap.”

Cillian frowns and bends at the waist, and stares straight into the camera. “You can fuck off,” he says with raised eyebrows, but all you can do is laugh. “No gatting tonight!” He promised, “Here, we’re away. I'll talk to you tomorrow.” He says with a genuine and bright smile. “Go on and watch your shite on TV.”

You laugh and wave into the camera. “Have a good night. Love you.” You say with a soft smile.

“Love you too.” He says with a serious expression. He gives a thumbs up and then the call ends.

You hadn't expected a call, so you try to keep the nice surprise of it as a pleasant thing and not dwell on the fact that he was now gone again. You decide to do as he suggested - bullshit TV. And maybe a takeaway.

You make your way down the two flights of stairs and into the kitchen. Immediately, you feel how cold it is and adjust the thermostat on the wall beside the sofa. You need to remember to change it back, or Cillian will be moaning about the cost to heat the place, and that it's a sauna in the bedroom. Back in the kitchen, you leave your phone on the island and begin searching through the kitchen drawers for a takeaway menu. You're certain there are Chinese and Indian takeaway menus knocking about, but by your third unsuccessful drawer, you're beginning to assume that Cillian has thrown them out on one of his mad moments of domestic service. About to surrender, you check in the fourth drawer, strewn with poorly organised cooking utensils, and ‘a-ha!’ to yourself mentally as you find the menus pinned beneath the ladle and wooden spoon. You shut the door with your bum as you turn around, hands occupied with scouring through the menus. Definitely Chinese over Indian, and definitely egg fried rice over Cillian's preferred mushroom rice. The decision of what to stuff yourself with along with the rice, though, is a harder one. Chicken balls and BBQ sauce, or a spice bag, or Cantonese sweet and sour chicken? You could get it all, and take a small amount from everything, and have the leftovers tomorrow, of course, but you weren't sure you were willing to spend fifty euro on a Chinese takeaway for just yourself.

You lean against the island as you look over the menu, and glance across when your phone begins buzzing and singing out ‘San Diego Song’ as it rings. You abandon your hunger for a moment and lean across awkwardly. You frown as “Síle” flashes on the screen. Answering the call, and pushing it onto speakerphone, you stand over the handset curiously. “Hi, Síle,” you say softly. “Everything okay?” You're a little taken aback that she's calling you at all, and even more so as his family knows he's in England right now. Why not just call her brother?

“Hiya, Y/N,” Síle says, bright and cheerful. “Sorry bothering you in the evening, but I know Cill is away. I wanted to ask, would it be okay if Griff and I stayed up with you towards the end of next week? We've an event in Dublin, and it'd be nice to see you. And I know Cill should be back home there at the end of the week, I think anyway, I'm sure he said….”

You remind yourself what day you're on now. “Friday,” you say. “He’ll be back on the Friday. In the afternoon, I think.”

“I'll ring him, and I'll talk it over, but you're home there now, so.” You hear her laugh.

“I mean, you're so welcome, you know that. And the boys will be up on the Sunday, too. Bet they'd be happy seeing you both. As long as you can stick your brother being a pain in the arse, and the sofabed up in the office. Though if the boys aren't staying then I'm sure you can use one of their rooms.” You say with a smile.

“Ah, you know us by now, Y/N, wherever we hang out hats.” She laughs again. “You're a star, Y/N, thanks a million.” she says with a quiet laugh. “And you're alright yourself, yeah?”

“Yeah, I'm okay. Working, and about to get a Chinese with as much chicken as I can stomach in Cillian's absence.” You laugh, and you hear her laugh too. “And you two?”

“Ah, yeah, sure we're grand. Same as yourself, working away and all.” She says, still bright and cheerful.

“That's good,” you smile.

“So if we say Friday, yeah? You're sure that's okay, now?” She checks.

You answer immediately in the affirmative. “Yeah, absolutely. Friday is fine. As I said, he's home Friday. And you'll stay for the weekend?”

“If youse don't mind - we've the thing in Dublin on Saturday daytime but it'd be good to be visiting for a few days, and to see Aran and Malachy.” Síle says cheerfully.

“It’ll be great to see you. But you might change your mind on Friday when Cillian gets home. He's not been getting a lot of sleep, and you'll find him going through you for a shortcut.” you laugh a little.

“Ah, sure hasn't he always been the same, girl!?” She laughs again. “Come here, Y/N, I'll let you get on with your Chinese takeaway. I'll talk to you both before, anyway, but otherwise I'll see you soon.”

“See you soon, Síle.” You say, and hit the cancel button on the phone. You do wonder, now, if Cillian should have been involved in the decision but you're fairly sure he wouldn't tell his own sister to get a hotel! Still, you open your texts and send a message across to Cillian, letting him know Síle’s request and that you have agreed to it.

“Dinner good? Síle rang me - she and Griff want to stay here next Friday & over the weekend for something they have in Dublin. I said no problem. I know you're back on Friday too but we can have a quiet evening anyway. Maybe call her? Love you x.”

You return to your menu, having mentally made made your choices whilst on the phone, and then scour through the app on your phone to find the Chinese that actually corresponds to the menu. Finding the ChowTown restaurant on Church Road, you put through your order and grimace at the delivery charge before finalising. Just as you go to set your phone down, Cillian's text reply comes through. You slide down the notification bar and click to open it.

“She texted me that she'd tried to ring. Didn't get any call. No bother anyway. We can get dinner or something. Can throw them in Aran's room, not like he's using it. The restaurant is loud, I want to go to bed ha ha. Love you.”

You smirk as you swipe away the message, and push your phone into the pocket of your hoodie. You slink over to the sofa and drop down, immediately flicking the TV onto Amazon Prime and began to search for a film you know Cillian would turn his nose up to, but that you really wanted to see. The only benefit you found to the little bastard being gone was that you could indulge yourself in things he didn't like - or didn't approve of - but even that didn't make his absence worth it.

You booked the Friday off as annual leave and spent the day ensuring you had the house in order - not that either of you were particularly untidy - and that all three of the available beds had clean sheets in case there was a case of musical beds once Síle and Griff arrived. You finished a quick grocery shop - wine, snacks, fresh fruit and veg, and bottled water - and finished your stint as Cinderella by sweeping and mopping the floor that covered the whole of the open plan space downstairs. Satisfied, as you stand in your gleaming kitchen, you light the wood wick candle that had been gifted to you at some point over the last twelve months and left it in the centre of the island. You love the crackle of the wooden wick, and it doesn't take long for its vanilla and coffee bean scent to start filtering around the space. It's three o'clock in the afternoon, and you're finally satisfied that you now look like you live in an untouched show home and that it smells so clinically clean that nobody will ever guess that you're human and eat or drink anything at all.

You fill the kettle with water and set it on to boil. Despite the offer on more than one occasion to collect him at the airport, Cillian had declined as he wanted to do something before coming home so all you were doing now was waiting - which you hate. You place the coffee press beside the kettle and spoon in the ground coffee, then stand awkwardly as you glance around you. Why did waiting for something always make you feel like you could do anything else? But you were excited to see him, and you were both excited and nervous to see his sister and husband, too. You were looking forward to one of your favourite phenomenons, too - Cillian's accent getting stronger in the presence of someone else from Cork!

As the kettle comes to a boil and silences, you frown. You're sure you heard the crackling of the gravel outside, but it could just be the candle crackling. Still, your stomach flutters and you walk towards the front door to peer out of the glass in the room if the door and check. Sure enough, you can see a car and a lone figure, though the mottled glass that doesn't allow a clear view out, but you'd know that figure anywhere. It does help that he's lugging a wheeled bag awkwardly along the gravel as the car reverses away. You unlock the front door and pull it open, smiling brightly as Cillian looks up at you. The beanie is ever present, his glasses are perched on his nose, and the look of exhaustion mixed with a smile across his face feels like home to behold.

“You're back,” you say, smiling brightly.

His smile widens a little as he reaches the door, “I'm back.” He says, letting go of the bag on the doorstep. He wraps his arms around you immediately and you snake your arms around his back. His kiss is soft and loving, and he tastes like coffee and smells like himself. You move to rest your head on his chest, still standing at the door. It's been a long couple of weeks and you've missed the presence of his body in the house. He laughs a little and squeezes you before letting go. “C'mon, let's get in.” He says, and begins trying to pull your arms from him. You let go, smirking, and close the door on the outside once he's in the door. “God, have you disinfected the whole house?” He asks, looking around him, as he releases his bag once again beside the coat hooks.

“I have,” you nod with a smile. “How was the flight?”

He juts his chin up, “Ah, same as always.” He sniffs. “Will we whack on the kettle? I need tea.” He smiles.

“It's just boiled actually. Which tea do you want?” You ask as you turn your back on him, as he takes off his shoes and coat, and make your way to the kitchen.

“Oh, whatever you get,” he says. A moment later, he has his arms around you from behind, his chin on your shoulder, as you pour water from the kettle into a mug with a herbal tea bag inside. “God…” he grumbles against your cheek, “Missed you.”

You smile, “I've missed you too. It's been a long couple of weeks.”

“Síle give a time for today?” He asks, and unwraps his arms from you as you push his mug along the counter for him to pick up. Taking the mug, he yawns tightly and noisily.

You shake your head, and turn to face him. “No, just that she'd be here today.” He nods slowly and yawns a second time. “Did you not sleep last night?” You ask, smirking.

He shakes his head, “I did, but…” he shrugs his shoulders as he yawns a third time. “Fuck sake.” He stretches his eyes wide as his jaw snaps shut. “You didn't hear from the boys this week, did you?” He asks and then sips at his tea.

You shake your head, “No, I mean I did text on Thursday about Sunday and Aran said he'd be coming, I didn't get anything from Malachy. But otherwise, no.” you say. “Why?”

Cillian frowns, “Ah, I was on the phone to Aran on Tuesday, I think, and he was in a bit of a mood. Couldn't get out of him why, but he told me he didn't want to come over on the weekend, that it was pissing him off.” He shakes his head.

“Well, like I said, Thursday’s text said he'd be here. You said he was in a mood, maybe he was just being a shit with his words.” You reason.

Cillian nods, “Yeah, I get that. But, I don't get why, like.” He shrugs.

“School, a fight with his mum, pissed off with his brother, hormones…” you list, smiling at him. “He's a teenage boy, don't take it personally.” he rolls his eyes at you as he sips at his tea again. “I'll throw your bag upstairs. Do you want to get the washing out first? Save bringing it up to bring it down again.”

“Ah leave it, I'll do it there in a minute.” He says, shaking his head. He sets his mug down onto the counter beside him and holds his arms open. “Come here,” he raises his eyebrows. “Didn't get enough there before.” He grins at his own cheesy line. But you oblige, and fold yourself against his chest as his wraps his arms around you tightly. His chin rests on the top of your head, and he breathes deep and contented breaths that soothe you as much as you assume they do him. You're not sure how long you stand there, comfortable and close, but you're disappointed when there's a heavy knock on the front door that signals the end of the intimacy.

You sigh and push yourself up out of his embrace. “That'll be your sister.”

He sticks out his bottom lip, “Fuck,” he raises a single eyebrow. “I was hoping for a quickie before they got here.” You slap your hand against his arm, tutting but smiling, as you walk towards the front door. All you can think now is, Let the Corkonian takeover begin!

Cillian’s shift in brightness surprises you massively as you'd open the door and welcome in his sister and her husband. But that chirpiness only lasts for the time it takes to make dinner and settle around the dining table before he is yawning, and exercising his right to live with a perpetual bitch face. He chats, and isn't rude at all, but you can see as you all ate that he is heading speedily towards switch off mode after three weeks working flat out. He smiles as Griff talks about work, and as Síle explains what they're up to tomorrow in the city, and you reach across the table and tap your fingers gently across the back of his hand.

“Do you want another?” You ask, and nod towards his empty beer bottle before him. When he nods briefly, you take to the empty one as you stand up. “Another drink, guys?” You offer. They're all seemingly enjoying the thrown-together meal, and that's helped to alleviate some of your anxiety about things going well while they're here.

“Another glass of wine would be lovely,” Síle smiles brightly. And you're a little surprised when Griff declines and gestures towards his still half full beer.

You excuse yourself to the kitchen, with Síle’s glass and Cillian's empty bottle, and take a moment to breathe before you replace their drinks. They're lovely - all of his family are, in fact - but you consistently fear doing anything wrong in case their opinions of you turn sour and they begin to see you as you'd always feared they would after the affair. As you close the fridge door and set Cillian's beer onto the island, you hear footsteps around the wall from the dining room and look up. “You okay?” You ask, as Cillian approaches, carrying his knife and fork.

He nods with a soft smile just about pulling his lips, “Knocked them onto the floor,” he rolls his eyes. He walks around to the sink and throws them in and takes a clean set from the drainer beside it. He turns and leans back against the sink. “Y'alright?”

“Yeah,” you nod and smile. “You look done in.” You say, softening your expression sympathetically.

He nods his head, “Think it's because I've stopped, you know, after going for nearly a month.” He smirks. “We’ll roll into bed in a wee while,” he says and raised his eyebrows. “Throw me out the opener, there,” he says as he pushes away from the sink and picks up the beer bottle on the island. You hand it over, and as he pops off the cap, you pour Síle's glass of wine, and you return to the dining room with him just a step or two behind.

“When are you back in England, Cill?” Síle asks as he sits down across from her. She gives you a bright smile as you hand her the refilled wine glass.

“Tuesday,” he says with a nod, then takes a drink from the bottle. “This yoke tomorrow, is it like an exhibition?” He asks. She'd mentioned that they were attending an arts event not too far from the wax museum just off O��Connell Bridge, in a small building that gave nothing away.

“I suppose,” Síle shrugs. “Griff's friend has work that is in it.”

Cillian turns down the corners of his mouth and raises his eyebrows, “Cool,” he smiles.

“And the boys are well?” Griff asks, “We do be interacting there on Facebook with them but you wouldn't be quick getting a reply from them.” He laughs.

Cillian clicks his tongue, “Phones never out of their hands, but sure if they answer a text it's a miracle.” He smirks. “But they're grand. Aran’s got the leavers soon so he's busy, and between the girlfriend, college and that wee job in Eason’s, Malachy does be hard to pin down.”

“I'm looking forward to seeing them on Sunday, Y/N said they'll be here.” Síle says, and places her cutlery down to reach for her glass.

“Yeah, dinner here every week. If I'm home, I do get Aran from school. Malachy stayed here the night before I went back there.” Cillian smiles, “I said to Y/N, wrecks the head that they're growing up.” He smirks, but you can see the nostalgia there.

“I only spoke to Yvonne a few days ago, she was wishing Griff a happy birthday and just chatting on about the boys. Do you get talking to her much, or just the kids?” Síle spoke delicately, without malice or deliberate stirring, but you still find your stomach dropping.

Swallowing his mouthful of beer, Cillian sets the bottle back down and shrugs his shoulders. “The odd bit, but it's usually only if it concerns the boys. Last I spoke to her was before I went away just to give her the dates when I'd be home because I knew the lads wouldn't remember.”

“And it's awkward?” She presses on and you catch Cillian's quick glance in your direction.

“It's grand,” he says and waves his hand. “I didn't know you two were still in touch though.” He says, and you examine the frown on his brow - is he angry, confused, both?

“Don't be reading into that,” Síle says quickly, “It's only to ask about the kids. And you two were together years, Cillian. I know things were difficult before you split up but I can't be a bitch to her entirely; she's raising my nephews.” You find yourself understanding Síle’s stance somewhat. “Are you gone moody now?” She challenges her older brother with a comical expression.

He shakes his head, once again turning down the corners of his mouth. “I'm not, no.” He sighs. His mood has shifted slightly, you can tell, but you're not sure what he's thinking of feeling.

“Cill,” Síle sighs. “I'm not ringing up and inviting her down, that's not what's happening. Birthdays, celebrations, yeah? That's all. And I just ask after the boys.” She explains.

“You can ask me,” he looks at her with a serious expression across his face. “I'm not so fucking far removed from my own kids that I couldn't answer ya.”

“I didn't say you were…” Síle says, and you can see she's taken aback by his snapping. “Cillian, I…” she shrugs her shoulders. “I shouldn't have said anything. I mean the conversations are so infrequent, it's just a touching base sort of thing occasionally…” she ambles for any way to fan out the flames, but you get the sense that everything she says digs her in deeper.

“It's been three years since the divorce, four since we split, and you're only now telling me that the two of ye are taking?!” He sits back in his chair and you feel awkward and anxious. You glance across the table and you can see your feelings echoed in Griff's expression. “I'm their fucking father, you can ask me, for fucks sake, Síle!”

“Cillian…” you reach out your hand as he gets to his feet. You appreciate his upset fully, but you suspect the ferocity of his reaction is rooted in his fatigue. Nobody says a word as he storms away, beer bottle in hand. You exhale heavily and glance first at Griff, then at Síle. “I feel like I warned you,” you say, trying to make light of the atmosphere as it pressed heavily down on the three of you.

You're grateful that she at least gives a grim laugh in response. “Yeah,” she shakes her head. “You did.”

#cillian murphy #fanfiction #fanfic #absolutely not based on anything real #reader fic #y/n fic #female reader #female y/n #reader x cillian #reader x cillian Murphy #female reader x cillian #female reader x cillian murphy #female y/n x cillian #female y/n x cillian murphy #y/n x cillian #y/n x cillian Murphy

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chaotic-scraps · 2 days ago

Text

The villain sprawled languid, more somber than usual, on the rooftop of a towering business building. Their head rested on the wall leading to the stairwell, legs dangling precariously over the edge. Staring down at the street with an intent that made hero's blood run cold.

"V-villain," Hero murmured with some measure of trepidation.

Villain leaned back, gazed at the hero from upside down, and smiled slow.

"Hero! How on earth did you find me?"

"I'll tell you i-if you come down," Hero said with a note of urgency.

"And why would I do that? I can hear you perfectly fine up here!"

"P-please come down."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were worried about me," the villain said, tapping them teasingly. "Scared of heights? Or think I have something up my sleeve?"

"I know you saw what the mayor said," Hero said. "I... I don't even know where to begin."

"So don't," Villain said. "After all, you agree with him, don't you? You just stood there and let him say everything. Of course you'll deny it and feign being neutral--"

"No, that's not--"

"Because that's so much less messy, isn't it?"

"I--"

"Listen, sit back, grab some popcorn, and I'll make a show of it just for you." They stood, one foot on the edge, one arm holding a pole as they dangled over the rooftop edge. "Your life will be sooo much better if I just--"

"VILLAIN!" Hero yelled. They climbed up and grabbed for their collar, but Villain dodged, spinning gracefully to the other side of the pole. Hero lost their balance, and Villain grabbed at their collar to steady them. "Careful, darling, we're high, high up. You don't want an accident, do you?"

"V-villain, please--"

"Aren't you afraid I'll push you?" Villain said. "Poor, sweet, trusting thing."

Hero sucked in a breath. Looked down below. That was a mistake.

"Villain, please, get down from here," they pleaded. "Please, I need you, please--"

Villain sneered. "You need me? What sentimental hogwash are you spewing now? You've never needed someone like me. Besides, you should worry more about yourself." Villain gripped their collar tightly, eyes wide with a hungry sort of malice. "Aren't you letting your guard down too much?"

With a yank, they swung Hero over the edge, toes barely holding the rooftop's edge.

Hero SCREAMED, panted, scrambling for as much purchase as possible.

"You're pathetic," Villain said. "Weak and trusting and SO easy to manipulate. A good little puppet for the mayor up until now."

"VILLAIN--" Hero screeched, voice cracking.

"But now I hold the strings," Villain said. "And it's time to make you dance."

They shoved Hero's feet off the edge. Kicking air. Crying. "Please please PLEASE--"

"Say it. Say I'm a monster, you COWARD. A filthy creature that needs to be eradicated--"

"V-villain--"

"An infestation on an otherwise fine society--"

"VILLAIN, NO--"

"You coward," Villain spat. "Say it to my face."

"Y-you're not."

"Liar. I'm a monster. Say it."

Tears fell from Hero's face.

"N-no. You're right. I'm a coward."

Silence.

Villain drew them back to the ledge.

"The m-mayor... Is the monster. I s-shouldn't have let it get this bad. We can't let him keep on like this."

There was that same somber look on the villain's face.

"I-I should have stood up to him," Hero sobbed. "I-if you... J-jump... It would end me." They hiccuped and buried their face in their hands. "I... I c-can't... I..."

"Hey, uh..." Villain gripped their shoulders. "Let's get down... Okay?"

"I'm a coward," Hero sobbed. "All this time... I just kept quiet... And for what? I almost lost you."

Villain patted their shoulder gently.

Hero looked up at them with watery eyes.

"I... I care about you. You're so used to being the villain you can't picture anything else."

"Heh." Villain shook their head. Put some distance between them, back turned. "You martyr. I just threatened your life."

"They're calling for your blood and disrespecting your life's work, and I stood by and let them. I betrayed you."

"It... Hurt," Villain said, hugging themselves. Head hung. "More than I care to admit."

"I'll make it right," Hero said. "Most don't see it, but your motives are good. I'll make them see it."

"I'm a villain, darling," Villain said with a sad smile. "My motives hardly matter."

Hero closed the distance and laid a gentle hand on their arm.

"They matter to me."

#villain x hero #hero/villain snippet #villain and hero #chaotic-scraps

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lilahardell · 3 days ago

Text

FIRST LOVE ISN'T ALWAYS THE BEST LOVE

Hyunjin x reader

Part-5 Surprise and Jealousy

Yeji,Y/n and Tess were walking in school after class as Tess and yeji are flirting playfully.Y/n feels someone looking at her and turns to look as she sees Felix standing there waving to her smiling she rubs her eyes not believing it as he just laughs"Omg wtf?!".she runs to him hugging him tightly"Felixxx" he hugs her back,his arms around her waist and hers around his neck.Y/n pulls back a little but still hugging him, "You jerk why didn't you tell me? I missed you!" She hits him lightly and Felix chuckles holding his chest for a dramatic reaction "really after I came all the way here?" She smiles pulling back from the hug. "Why the hell are you here though? How and is mom okay? How's she doing.

Felix pov- As I hug her tightly, my life feels like it just gained light again. Gosh I love her so much,she's so talkative tho, although I missed it. I missed her hitting and laughing,her smile and hair.Only if she knew how I'm not here for the job at all.. it's for her. How I had to convince her mom to let me come here although her mom said "ik u love her but don't disturb her studies" how I had to beg for 5 days straight to let me come here and see her daughter again. I did do a little emotional blackmailing tho... Ok but I'm not here for a job but for her. My love.. however who tf is gonna find a job now,god I'm doomed.

Y/n- "hello sir back to earth ik I'm beautiful, but don't stare so much and answer my questionss"

Felix laughs softly"calm down, she's great and I'm here for a job interview, if they take me then I'll stay here and if not. I will go back"

Y/n nods "ohhh wow"

"no because actually tell me about your job? Are they gonna give you a place to live? Where is it? How's the pay?

Felix assures her "dont worry, it's a interview for now but if I get in I'll definitely get paid good and they're supposed to pay enough for my rent so I'll be good"

Hyunjin who was watching from afar,the scene unfold, his jaw tightening. He had seen the way Y/n lit up when she spotted the guy-Felix, her so-called best friend. The one she talked about with so much affection.

He watched as they hugged, the closeness between them undeniable. Something churned in his chest, a feeling he didn't want to name.

Gathering himself, he strode over to them, keeping his expression neutral. "Y/n," he called, his voice even.

Y/n pulled back from Felix and turned, her eyes widening slightly. "Hyunjin."

Felix turned as well, his smile polite but curious.

"This is Felix," Y/n said, gesturing toward her best friend. "Felix, this is Hyunjin, my project partner and..." She hesitated. "Friend."

Felix offered his hand. "Nice to meet you, Hyunjin."

Hyunjin shook his hand briefly, his grip firm. "You too."

There was a moment of silence, the air between them thick with unspoken tension. Hyunjin's gaze flickered between Y/n and Felix, noting how comfortable they seemed together.

"Anyway," Y/n said, breaking the awkwardness, "I was just about to show Felix around. He's visiting for a few days."

"Right," Hyunjin said, his tone clipped. "Enjoy."

Y/n gave him a small smile, and Felix nodded politely before they walked away. Hyunjin watched them go, his hands clenching at his sides.

Felix noticed Hyunjin's reaction, and as they strolled around campus and greeted her friends,yeji and Tess who had a lot of fun seeing him after hearing so much about him...he couldn't shake the feeling that the other guy wasn't just a casual friend.

"You talk about him a lot?" Felix asked casually.

"Hyunjin?" Y/n said, glancing at him. "Not really. We argue more than we talk

But Felix couldn't help overthinking it. He saw the way Hyunjin had looked at Y/n, and it was a look Felix recognized all too well.

At her apartment at night now-

"come on let's get inside, She holds Felix's hand showing him around and finally to her room "and this is where I cry and dance at the same time". Felix laughs softly"yeah I know.. that's definitely you,he sits on the bed,laying down definitely tired of the journey

"okay..how's mom? Everything good? Why'd u leave her alone there?"

Felix sighs softly smiling"she's completely fine and healthy and I didn't want to come but she forced me saying I should come here for you and the job. She really misses you" Y/n softly smiles too"yeah I miss her a lot too, I hope she's okay.."

Felix replies"she's fine I swear she really badly forced me to be here i was supposed to come like 5 days ago"

She sits beside him , "gosh I missed you",Felix gets back up "I missed you too"he says smiling softly....

"Btw since yeounjun is at his sisters house for 2 days, you can sleep in his room okay? Don't u dare touch shit and only come to my bathroom and my room for stuff u need" Felix nods "yupp,I wanna sleep so bad gosh I didn't sleep more then 2 hours on the flight my back hurts"

Time skip

Over the next few days, Y/n couldn't stop smiling. Having Felix there felt like a dream. She introduced him to Yeji, Yeonjun, and her other friends, and they all seemed to get along effortlessly.

But at night, when she lay in bed, the insecurities crept in. She was supposed to be over him. Felix had always been her best friend, nothing more. She had told herself countless times that he would never see her the way she saw him.

Then why does my heart still race when I see him? she thought bitterly, staring at the ceiling. She felt pathetic, like a foolish girl clinging to a hope she had no right to hold onto.

But the moment she saw his face, all those doubts vanished. His smile, his laugh-it was everything she had missed. She couldn't help but wish he was here for her, not just for a job interview....

AND ONCE AGAIN YALL- I MADE THE CHAPTER SO LONGG wtvv thankyou so much for the reads and likes guys, if you have Wattpad (to my Tumblr readers) please check it out here too and votee. I'm working so hard on thesee I need to sleep fr but I love writing it too. I love you guys and thankyou for reading. Mwahhh 🩷

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mythicalninjas · 2 days ago

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Not Just A Miner

Tf.One Orion Pax X Cog!Femme!Cybertronian!Reader

Author's note: I got inspired by a scene from an old brazilian movie called "Ó pai, Ó" (2007) in which the protagonist refutes racist remarks made by his friend. Click here to check it out (I couldn't find the english version, only in my native language). Also, I advise you to watch this movie if you have an opportunity.

Rate/Warnings: NSFW, prejudice, bullying, hate. | SFW, reader defends her friend.

Maybe it would be a good idea to be a prankster in the secret archives of Iacon instead of stealing useless material things. Not that young miner Orion Pax is one. He's just been searching for the truth ever since he became suspicious of the ancient and mysterious story of the 13 Primes. What happened to cause the great protectors of Cybertron to die in such mysterious ways? Why is Sentinel Prime's most beloved government hiding such information? Orion has searched countless files for cycles, and they all end with the same story.

Running from the two angry guards who are twice the size of the cogless miner, Orion's hope is to catch the fast approaching train at the nearest station, which is only 20 meters away from his position.

"Stop, miner!" Darkwing shouted from behind, pushing and dodging bots that were in his way.

KDQ-1, the other guard accompanying Darkwing, flies down from the air and lands directly in front of Orion, blocking his path. "Where do ya think ya're going, miner?" he asked threateningly.

Orion stopped abruptly and raised both arms in surrender. "Wow, hey!" He steps back, but feels Darkwing's sturdy body blocking his path. Their evil giggles make Orion feels shivers.

"So, Orion Pix." Darkwing said sarcastically, pushing Orion toward KDQ-1 "Where were we?".

KDQ-1 laughs. "What do you think, Darkwing? Should we pick him up and throw him from that top?" he pointed at a building next to them.

The brute guard disagrees. "Nah, it would be no fun, dull. Let's rip him apart right here." Both guards laugh.

Orion chuckles nervously. "You guys are creative, huh?"

KDQ-1 grabs the miners' left arm and pull him near. "So, miner. What do you prefer?".

Orion spots the train leaving. Now he's cooked.

Darkwing grabs the other arm. "Why do you want him to choose, KDQ-1? Miners don't have choices or opinion. They only obey." Both laughs again. "They are nothing but-"

"They're nothing but what?" You interjected suddenly, causing both guards to drop Orion in fright and backing off. You took it as oportunity to stand between your friend and the guards.

Orion moves quickly behind you as soon as notice it was you.

You could feel his hands gripping your right leg as if to make sure no one takes him away. How cog-bots can be so foolish to mistreat someone who can't even defend themselves? Even more so in public? Anger boils up your circuits.

"Come on, Darkwing. I want to hear it." you confront. "What were you going to say about him and other miners?"

The brute bot and his co-worker looked at each other. KDQ-1 was the first to speak. "We were just having a warm talk. No big deal."

"I don't think that bullying someone is no big deal." You reply calmly, but firmly.

"This is no of your business, Y/N." Darkwing shouted. "Leave us alone, now!"

"Out of question!" You answered. "You must have power over miners, but not over me. You cannot treat cogless-bots badly just because-"

The brute cut in. "Are you really want to teach me to how be a good chief?" he took a fews steps toward you, making Orion shudder. The young miner doesn't want a hand-to-hand fight to start. He doesn't want his friend to be hurt by the stubbornness of others. Thanks Primus that his brother-in-arms, D-16, is safe in the train going to mines right now.

"It seems you do need." You answered, not taking your eyes off him, ready to fight back.

KDQ-1, sensing that things aren't going well and knowing his co-worker actions, puts his hand on Darkwing's shoulder, trying to stop him, but the mean bot moves it away.

"Well, well. A "hero" protecting weaks bots?" he teased, stopping halfway.

"Don't forget that the weaks bots are those who keep our Energon reserves full. Don't forget you have Energon flowing through you because of them!"

"They are just miners. Damn miners! Nothing but dumb robots!"

"Yes, they are miners, but don't miners have eyes? Huh? Don't they have hands and heads and feelings? Don't they need the same Energon to live?" Your voice grows louder and louder. "Do they not suffer from the same diseases and need the same health care as we do?! When they feel exhausted after countless shifts, don't they need some rest just like us?! When you beat the shit out of them, don't they feel pain?! When they risk their lives down there in the mines, don't they die, too? You take advantage of them in everything because they are treated like slaves in our society, son of a bitch!"

An eerie silence fell over the open space. All that could be heard was the sound of the wind blowing off the huge buildings and the metallic sound of some construction machinery in the distance. Everyone who was passing by and paying attention to the small commotion now remained silent at Y/N's reaction, some jaw-dropped; even KDQ-1.

You were breathing heavily, as if your unimaginable reaction had been an impossible struggle to protect those who couldn't protect themselves. And you are willing to continue this discussion if necessary.

Darkwing glared angrily at Orion, who was still behind you. "Good for you, no-cog." the brute commented, ominously. "If I find you in the archives again, you'll suffer. And so will your little gray friend."

Orion's bright blue optics grew wide by his words. No... He cannot endanger someone he admires the most, someone he considers a brother. Darkwing is far more evil than he could have imagined. Suddenly, he feels you moving and blocking the threatening eye-contact between him and Darkwing.

Darkwing lifted his face up toward you. "And it will be a moment you won't be there, Y/N". He, then, was led by his co-worker through the crowd, away from there. All the other cog-bots returned to their tasks, murmuring about what they had just witnessed.

You sighed with relief that the situation was over without developing into something worse. Turning around, you realize that Orion also feels the same way. "Are you okay, Orion?" You asked softly as crouch down. "Did they do something else to you?".

Orion rubs his arm left arm. "Just a bit sore. Nothing to worry about it."

You lift an "eyebrow". His expression of pain was evident on his face as he try to move his arm with difficulty. "They've made a mess right there. Come along. I'll take you to a doctor to fix it."

"Oh, no need for it. I'm ok-" he grows by pain.

You smiled down at him. "Orion, don't resist. Let's go. And also... Don't put yourself in danger ever again... You know what Darkwing is capable of. Don't underestimate him."

"Yeah, I'm sorry... But, you know why I still insist on it. Something isn't right about Cybertron's past before Sentinel Prime's reign".

"I understand you Orion, but it doesn't mean you have to be chased by the authorities all the time. I don't want to imagine what would happen if they get you in a wrong moment." You sighed and watch the giant concrete jungle landscape. "I won't always be there to protect you."

Orion remained silent for a few minutes while the two of them stared at the cityscape before them. The miner is indeed quite stubborn, and that has consequences, especially for those who are not to blame. Rules and protocols are not even close to something he would follow. Orion doesn't like that, and it is what makes him different. Something that makes him look beyond work.

"I promise." he finally speaks. "I promise to not get in trouble."

You knew that Orion would never stop his extreme adventures.

And that defines him.

Damn, he can't wait to meet up with D again and tell him everything that happened and how brave you were. They knew that you, their best friend, are a hero. Someone they could trust their life with.

☆☆☆☆☆

Reblog to support and let more people read my work 🫶🥰

#transformers one #transformers #orion pax #orion pax x reader #d 16 x orion pax #tf one #tfone orion pax #tf one orion pax #reader #transformers cybertron #cybertron #tf one optimus prime #tf one optimus #tfone optimus prime

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practicalgauntlet · 6 hours ago

Text

~You're still my person. Even if I'm not yours.~

Part two

"We kept crossing paths, near misses and almosts, when all I ever wanted was for us to collide." -Jessica Katoff

Synopsis - Some time has passed, and you think you've healed. But when you're shot by an unsub, old wounds are ripped open for all to see.

Category- Angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending.

Notes - Hurt/comfort, you get shot, Canon typical violence, blood and gore, angst, self-loathing, self-blaming, a year has passed between this and part one, gender-neutral reader (I only use They/Them pronouns because I know everyone likes Spencer not just the girlies), I'm so sorry this is so long, you're a trooper if you get through all of this. The fic started writing itself :/

A/N- this is for @bloodredrubyrose and everyone else who wanted the happy ending. I hope this is okay.

WARNING- This one-shot has violence similar to the cases in the show, but I wanted to bring attention to what transpires and is mentioned in this fic. The case revolves around murdered pregnant women and their fetuses. If the topic is too sensitive for you or can trigger anything, I suggest not reading this.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

A year has passed since J.J.'s wedding.

You still find yourself hurting, lying awake at night thinking of the possibility of "What if?". You still have to shake away the thoughts of inadequacy, of not good enough.

Sometimes, when you're particularly tired or inebriated, you find yourself still unable to look away from him.

It was three weeks and two days after the wedding when Spencer invited you to hang out with him again. It was a month, two weeks, and eleven hours when he greeted you with a genuine smile again.

It was eight months, three weeks, six days, and two hours when you felt like you could breathe again.

Everything was back to normal. It wasn't bright, shiny rainbows and glittery kittens like Penelope said it would be once you healed. But it was normal.

It was easier to ignore the festering pit in your stomach during the day, easier to look your team in the eye, say, "I'm okay." and mean it. It was easier to watch Spencer heal the same way you were.

You were so proud of him. It felt like your Spencer was back. His long-winded speeches about something that didn't seem relevant but ended up helping the case drastically, his magic tricks in the bullpen when Hotch was in his office, and his goofy authenticity. All of it was back, at least partially.

He still got quiet when J.J. was around and closed in on himself. But compared to those days after the wedding, he was making immense progress. You just wished he let you in so you could help.

"I don't think they're listening."

You barely hear Morgan's voice over the bubbling thoughts that threatened to take control and invade your mind.

"Oh, sugar they're definitely not listening."

Penelope's hand was slamming down on your desk, startling you out of your reverie.

"What's on your mind, honey pot?"

She asks, propping herself up on the table. With her quirked eyebrow and intense look in her eye, you knew what she was asking.

"Are you still hurting?"

She was right to be worried, right to involve herself in case you got worse again. But instead of thinking about Spencer and how you'll never be on the receiving end of his affectionate gaze, you were actually thinking about the case.

There was a lull in leads, the ones you had only took the team to a dead end. Dead body after dead body and still nothing.

"I'm fine, Pen. This case is just taking a lot out of me."

And it was true. The BAU had been called in because a dead body had been unearthed by a gardener somewhere East. A heavily pregnant woman had been murdered, her unborn child ripped from her body and buried with her.

It was horrifying, to say the least, the brutality of the unsub turning your breakfast sour. But it had been seven hours since the team landed in the small town, and you were still no closer to finding the culprit.

"Why don't we get something to eat, hmm?"

Penelope suggested, hopping off the table and holding out her hand for you.

"If you're getting food, get me a little somethin'. I'm in the mood for Chinese!"

Morgan yelled from across the room, his hip propped against the clear board Spencer was mumbling at.

"I guess we're getting Chinese."

You chuckle, standing up and following Penelope out of the makeshift conference room the local police allowed you to use. As you were passing Spencer, you turned to him and called his name.

"Do you want anything specific?"

He looks to you, eyes reluctantly leaving his equations as he's pulled from his thoughts.

"What?"

There was a surge of affection at the sight of his pursed lips and furrowed brows. The way his hands fiddled with the marker, clicking the lid on and off the end.

"We're getting the team Chinese takeout. Do you want anything?"

"Just a fork."

You nod your head, peeling yourself away from his attentive gaze. When you and Penelope get in the car, she places a hand on yours. You didn't take your eyes off the road, but you could tell that she was looking at you with that look again.

"How have you been, sugar?

It felt good to have someone watching over you, someone in your corner, to ask if you were okay even after time had passed and you were healed.

"I've been doing good."

She was the only one to know of your breakdown on Rossi's front porch. She was the only one you allowed to see what it did to you those weeks afterward. How depressed you were, how hopeless. Penelope Garcia was your best friend, and she was the only one to know you were still unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Spencer Reid.

"Are you sure about that? I know this case is a doozy but I know that look in your eye."

You briefly take your eyes off the road once you reach a red light, patting the hand that now rested comfortingly on your thigh.

"Yes, I'm fine. It doesn't feel like the world is ending anymore. Plus, life is unfair sometimes. I just need to roll with the punches."

She looked at you, her knowing eyes always privy to the storm that rolled beneath your skin. In one final attempt to comfort her worry, you flash her your most believable smile.

Penelope quirked an eyebrow and looked away, not at all convinced but persuaded to leave it be for the time being.

The trip for food was brief. You got various dishes in case the team was in the mood for a certain thing. You were back at the station within twenty minutes, walking into the conference room to something you never wanted to see.

Your team was gathered around the table, faces grim as they spoke towards the phone sitting in the middle.

"Another body..."

Penelope whispers, catching the eyes of Morgan as he shakes his head solemnly. Hotch was already giving the team their orders.

Morgan and Emily were dispatched to question the family as the local police had already ID'd the girl. She was a well-known and loved woman; she was a part of the PTA, led the neighborhood watch, and hosted bake sales for all parts of the community.

J.J. was asked to stay behind and deal with the journalists and news anchors that suddenly surrounded the station.

That left you and Spencer to follow up with the police at the scene of the crime. Spencer drove the two of you there, your knee bouncing in the passenger seat as you watched the scenery pass by.

"I don't get it..."

Spencer mumbles. When you look to him for an explanation he was already glancing at you.

"Why pregnant women? Why take the baby out and bury it with the mother? It makes no sense."

You flip down the visor, both because you need to get the sun out of your eyes and to do something with your hands.

"Maybe they're surrogates for his real target? A mother? Maybe he's upset at his mom and taking the baby is a way to give mercy to his inner child."

"Or maybe," Spencer counters, long fingers drumming on the steering wheel as he pulls into the crime scene. "They're surrogates for a wife."

The scene before you was gnarly. And unfortunately, the unsub had changed M.O.

The woman was buried in a shallow grave like the others, dressed in a thin white gown, poised perfectly like Snow White with her child tightly swaddled in a towel and tucked safely in her arms. The only difference was the lack of blood, the lack of brutality. That, and she had blonde hair whereas the other victims were brunettes.

"He's devolving."

You mutter, feeling sick at the sight of her.

"Or he's getting close to what he's wanting to do."

You look up at him from your squatted position, taking in Spencer in all his glory. He looked so good in his FBI vest, with his sweater and tie peeking out from the collar.

You shouldn't be thinking of him like that. Not when a woman and her child had lost their life and they lay decaying in front of you. Not when you should already be over him.

"What do you mean?"

"She looks perfectly preserved. Sure, she's laid out in the same outfit and the same position. The color and the way she's laid are meant to symbolize purity. So we know he isn't murdering for hatred. He feels sympathy for these women. But look at this,"

He crouches next to you, the movement sending your heart into overdrive. His sleeves were rolled up as he shoved his hands into some blue surgical gloves. You could even smell his cologne.

"Her hair," He picks up a strand. "Her hair had been styled. There's a texture to it that means he used hairspray. And while the others' hair was wild and unkempt, most likely because he kept them for some time or they fought back, her's is washed and curled."

"So we know this woman is a surrogate, but he's not acting on any sexual or vengeful impulse?"

Spencer turned to you, looking at you from above his sunglasses.

"I think we're ready to give the profile."

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

"We are looking for a white male in his mid to late thirties."

Morgan starts as he leans against one of the desks, his arms folded against his chest. Emily stepped up, continuing on as she stared each and every officer down to make sure they were taking this as seriously as it was.

"Look for someone who had recently lost a wife and child during the birth, someone who is most likely blue collar. He would have been a normal man up until his loss. Now, he would be agitated and easily riled up. Getting into fights or arguments when he normally wouldn't. "

You step in, delivering the line you rehearsed in your head over and over on the ride back to the station.

"He's kidnapping pregnant women so he could relive the birth. So he could hold his child and kiss his wife. But he's desperate, so he is taking the babies out prematurely and amateurly that neither victim survives. He would need a space to do all of this, a garage, a second home, or a place of work. Somewhere concealed enough to not draw attention but spacious enough to perform the c-section."

It was now Hotch's turn to deliver the final line of the profile.

"He will continue to take women until he gets what he wants. We need to make sure Kate Smith is his last victim."

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

You found him. Carl McGregor, a welder for a construction company. His wife of six years died giving birth to his child, and he went off the rails.

You sympathized with him, knowing that he was in so much pain. But that didn't excuse what he did to those poor women and the families they were a part of.

Carl was hiding out in his garage, a woman in the last week of her second trimester strapped to the table; screaming for help.

You were the first on the scene, your legs carrying you just a bit faster than the others. When you opened the garage door, you had to put every ounce of will not to tackle the guy to the ground.

"FBI! Put the scalpel down Carl!"

Carl was hovering over Debbie Park, a young mother of three and a half. He had her strapped to a makeshift stretcher and her terrified screams broke your heart.

"No!" Carl said with a crazed look in his eyes. "My wife is about to give birth, give her space!"

You lower your gun so the barrel isn't aimed straight at his skull but keep it raised just in case. When you spoke, you made sure you sounded as calm and understanding as possible.

"Carl, your wife died three weeks ago giving birth to your son. Let Debbie go so her husband doesn't experience the loss you did.

You don't know how or when Spencer made it into the garage but he suddenly appeared in the shadows, his gun aimed at Carl.

"No, please!" Carl was focused on you, his shaking hands still holding Debbie down. "This is my wife! Why are trying to take her away?"

You lower your gun entirely, feeling safe with Spencer there to have your back. You approached Carl slowly, keeping your body crouched as if you were approaching a scared and wounded animal. Because that's exactly what he was. A scared and wounded animal.

"Carl?" You put a hand on his shoulder. He winces but doesn't attack. "Debbie has a family, she has three kids and a husband who are worried sick about her. Do you want to put her husband and kids through the same pain you're feeling?"

It all happened so fast. First Carl was lunging at you, a gun you didn't know he had raised before you could pull your own. Debbie's screams mixed with yours as Spencer fired his gun and took Carl down.

There was a sharp sting to your chest, your right shoulder to be exact just under your collarbone. Upon Carl's death, his finger squeezed the trigger and put a bullet three inches from your heart.

Spencer was in front of you before you could collapse, cradling your head to save it from bashing against the concrete ground.

"I need a medic!"

Spencer yelled into his com, his face wild with worry as he pressed his hands into your wound.

It hurt, sending a blazing fire throughout your body. In the back of your mind, you heard yourself scream from the pain, your throat raw and ragged. Your hands uncontrollably gripped Spencer's vest, clutching him closer to you as you tried to breathe around the sharp, boiling pain.

"You're going to be okay, the medic is on his way."

Spencer's voice sounded far away, garbled and hazy like he was underwater. Panic soon tore across your body, thrumming through your veins as you tried to ignore the sticky warmth pooling through your shirt.

"No, no, stay with me. Stay with me please!"

You barely felt Spencer's cold hands patting your cheek. You had to say it now, as you were dying. This was your last chance to tell him how you feel. You already felt yourself slipping away.

"Spence..."

Your mouth felt so dry, your tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. He was shaking above you, pulling your body into his lap as he rocked you back and forth.

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm not leaving, you'll be okay."

You felt he was saying that more for himself than he was for you.

It was hard to unfurl your fingers from his vest but you did it, lifting your hand to cradle his cheek. It was now or never.

"Before I dye, I need you to know-"

"No!" Spencer seethed. You had never seen him so emotional before, so upset he looked feral. "You are not going to die! Where's my fucking medic?!"

"I need you to know, that I love you."

He smoothed his hands over your face, brushing the sweaty strands of hair away from your eyes. "I love you too, you're my best friend."

You let out a breathy, strangled, humourless chuckle. Of course he'd make you spell it out for him.

"I'm in love with you, Spencer..."

Black was edging your vision, your ears ringing as you watched Spencer blink once, twice, before the medic pushed him away.

Faintly you felt your body being moved, that white-hot pain once again rendering you speechless as you finally succumbed to the darkness that was calling to you.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Spencer couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. Couldn't taste, or hear, or feel. Frantic, animalistic worry overpowered every other emotion. Logic be damned, facts be damned.

"Reid, calm down or you're gonna wear a hole in the floor."

"There is a high chance the bullet nicked a vital vein or artery. It took us fifteen minutes and thirty seconds to get her to the hospital and another six minutes for the doctors to start operating. There is a higher chance that she lost too much blood and will need a transfusion. If she needs a transfusion there is a chance she could have a Febrile non-hemolytic transfusion reaction or a Transfusion-related acute lung injury. There are so many possibilities to think over and every time I think I've found a way to stop them another one pops up. Do not tell me to calm down!"

Morgan backed off, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

"My bad, man."

Emily was next to approach him and he had to look away from the worry on her face.

"Only thinking about what could go wrong will only cause you more stress. Maybe you should go home and take a shower."

"Stop telling me what to do."

He didn't recognize his voice, and he knew his friends didn't recognize him. So he backed off, settling himself in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, and put his head in his hands.

Emily was right. Derek was right. But if he thought about anything other than the complications that could take you away from him all he would focus on were the last words you uttered before blacking out.

"I'm in love with you, Spencer."

He didn't know what to do with that information. After J.J. he didn't allow himself to even look a second longer at someone that was out of his league. Which was everyone. Especially you.

You were so kind and gentle with him. You let him go on his rants, asking him to finish what he was saying if the team not so subtly told him to shut up or bluntly interrupted him. You loved his endless facts and knowledge and you told him often.

You were like a beacon of light when you entered the room, his gaze unconsciously looking for you wherever he was. You were his best friend; you knew everything about him and still treated him like a human being. Not some computer, not some freak.

Spencer let out a shaky breath, adrenaline still pumping through his veins. His hands were shaky and he couldn't keep still to save his life. He had never felt like this before, not when a gun was pointed in his face, not when the bureau was infiltrated. Not even when Emily was in the hospital.

He'd never been this scared shitless before.

And then it hit him.

He was in love with you.

He had been for a while. Maybe after J.J., maybe before. Spencer didn't know when it happened or how deeply it had been buried. All he knew was that it was now so fucking obvious.

It felt so natural. He had always thought you were going to be a permanent fixture in his life. Always thought that you'd be a phone call away when he needed you and he'd be the same. Whenever he thought of something you were always there, in the back of his mind like you belonged there.

He faintly heard a commotion, the sound of chairs scraping against the ground and footsteps running away. He looked up from the floor, his body fuzzy from the realization.

Spencer bolted from his seat the moment he saw the doctor standing in front of his team. He gently shoved aside Morgan and J.J. needing to hear the news as close as possible.

"They're stable and awake. It had just barely missed their heart, but they will heal with no permanent damage."

Spencer could have dropped to his knees with relief, his body sagging and his lungs deflating.

"Can I- we see her?"

"Of course, but we still need to take their vitals frequently. And a room full of people would not be best stress-wise so I suggest one to two people at a time."

Morgan clapped him on the back, a knowing look on his face before shoving him forward.

"We're going to get something to eat. You check on our sunshine."

After all the attitude he threw their way, he was dumbfounded that they would give him such a precious opportunity.

"Thank you,"

"No problem, Pretty Boy."

When Spencer entered your room, it was like he walked into a different reality. You were usually so bright and shining, carving a path of light and kindness wherever you stepped, but now you were lifeless. The tubes and wires hooked up to you made you look so uninhabited; pale, and sickly from the blood loss.

Spencer approached the bed, being careful not to make any noise that would startle you awake. Your eyes were closed and he assumed you were probably in and out of consciousness due to the pain meds they were pumping into you.

He hated seeing you like this.

"Spence?"

He hadn't realized you had awoken, too focused on all the machinery you were hooked up to.

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Spencer didn't know what to do with his body so he just stood there, willing his emotions into submission and picking at the skin of his thumbs.

"I feel like I just got hit by a train."

You groan and he is at your side immediately, checking the monitors and making sure your pain meds are working. They were, but he needed to make sure.

"What no fact about processing pain or how it affects the body?"

You were looking up at him now, a pained but genuine smile on your face. In the hour that he worried relentlessly about you, he feared he'd never see that again.

That smile faded into something akin to concern when he didn't respond.

"What's wrong Spence?"

"I thought you were going to die."

He sounded so small, even to his own ears. Weak, scared. Like a child.

You waved him over closer, and he listened. If you told him to, he would follow you to the ends of the earth. It surprised him when you grabbed his hand and placed it over your heart, the roughness of the gauze grazing his shaking fingers. He tried to pull away, but you kept him there so he could feel your heartbeat.

"I'm still here, Spencer. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Do you-" He couldn't stand not knowing anymore. The probability of people saying things they didn't mean while bleeding out was too high for him to think clearly any longer. "Do you remember what you said to me?"

He watched your face turn sad, your lips turn inward and your eyes drop to the hospital-grade blanket. You also dropped his hand, the limb numbly swinging back by his side.

"Yes," You refused to look at him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put you in that situation, it was unfair of me."

"No, I-"

"I understand if I've ruined everything. I don't blame you if you don't want to be friends anymore."

Before he could think and rehearse a thought-out sentence, his mouth moved and spoke for him. "I don't want to be friends."

He realized his mistake not a second later. And to make up for it, to take away the pain on your face, he gently grabbed your chin and made you look at him.

"I love you too, so much so that the idea of you dying turned me into an illogical and emotional mess."

Tears lined your wide eyes as you stared up at him, your cheeks regaining some color. Now that he's said it out loud, he couldn't keep his mouth shut even if he tried.

"I love you so much, that I want to take away all your pain. All the bad memories and shitty feelings that take away that pretty smile. I'd do anything for you."

You reached up and cupped his cheek, much like hours before, your lip quivering.

"I'd do anything for you too, Spence."

"I know."

It felt natural to kiss your forehead, to settle into the small hospital bed, and tuck you gently into his side. It felt natural to, days later after you were discharged, take you on a proper date and call you his.

A/N- Realistically I know there would be more turmoil, less trust, and more self-doubt during the confession part but this is fiction of fiction so let's just pretend okay:) I'll save that stuff for the full-length stuff. Also along the lines of reality, I know that there is such a thing as a bulletproof vest, but I needed drama so forgive me.

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #no use of y/n #canon typical violence #angst with a happy ending #confession

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letmeoutofthebasementt · 19 hours ago

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SKZ getting cheated on (Hyung Line + Han)

(How long it’ll take them to find out on their own, how they’d react, if they’d break up or not)

Chan

Honestly, it'd probably take him a while to realize. Because, for one, he'd probably feel very stable in his relationship and his place in his partner's life. He has that "They'd never because they NEED me" kinda mentality. The longer they've been together the less likely he is to find out organically unless he full-on catches them in the act. He also feels like his relationships are very solid at their core. Another big issue is to be entirely sure his partner is cheating, he needs to break free of delusions. It would also just be far too much for him if he did suspect it because he'd be afraid he'd lose his partner for even daring to think something like that. I think he'd also...Take things for granted? Like, "I have you there's no way you'd ever leave or want anything more/else" type of thing. Everything's familiar. And he doesn't take into account that anything could possibly happen.

If he finds out he got cheated on, he'd immediately tell his friends and seek comfort in them. I'm also getting he's the type who'd cheat on his partner to get his lick back or something. Cheating is something Chan can't get past, so he'd definitely leave them. He'd feel hopeless, and his entire life would probably momentarily crash and burn. I think he'd also be really frustrated and it'd ruin his trust in everyone in his life. He'd also push down and suppress a lot of things. Because of that, the feelings of hurt and anger and resentment can easily fester because he didn't allow himself to acknowledge them or hash them out.

Lee Know

Idk why I immediately thought of ice spice

Specifically that like "You think you the shit, bitch? You not even the fart." I don't even like her or that song

BUT ANYWAYS

He'd know quickly. You can't HIDE that from this man. Trust he'll find out ASAP. Because, one, his intuition is on a whole other level. Two, he'd immediately know if something's off. Whether that be your location being off or somewhere it's not supposed to, etc. Even if you think you're slick he'll FIND a tell one way or another. I'm also a firm believer he goes through phones. I'm talking every nook and cranny of that phone including your EMAILS. He's finding that shit one way or another and you're lucky if there's a 24 hour window of time where he doesn't know about it. He'll find a way to figure it out.

In terms of how he'd react...He'd definitely find out on his own, so there'd be this 'Aha!' moment. Because he knew he wasn't going crazy. He's going to figure out every nitty gritty detail of the cheating with PRINTED OUT laminated receipts with copies just incase. He's definitely gonna confront his partner. And trust he's going to have a boost of confidence figuring it out. Definitely not the type who blames himself. He's also probably telling everyone and their mother. And YOUR mother. He sees it as a battle won and everyone needs to hear about the victory.

He has a 50/50 chance of leaving, though. On ONE hand, while trust is very important to him he'd also feel a sense of...I don't want to say ownership but that's the only word I can think of over his partners. So, he simply wouldn't want to let them go. I feel like the love would also linger a lot because he feels very deeply. So, he may just stay with his partner and fall into some toxic habits of keeping them on lockdown, being all hovery...The type who's calling his partner every 5 minutes, showing up to their job to make sure they're there, getting their Apple login so they can receive every single message and notif they do...He's keeping them on LOCK. But on the other hand, he could very well just...Fall out of love in an instant. It's very contradictory. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin and he has a very large capacity for hate, especially when betrayed. Probably just moved onto the next. So yeah, he's either dumping you rather cruelly then moving on like you never existed, or keeping you uner lock and key.

Changbin

He'd probably FIND OUT fairly quickly, because he'd kind of have this gut feeling. But he'd suppress those feelings and convince himself he was insane until he finally catches his partner red handed and realizes he's right on the money. Because he's very passionate about his relatinship and doesn't want to be imposing on his partner or doubting them for no reason. That's not his intention nor something he's comfortable with doing. He also wants to trust in his partner. He'll probably lose faith in himself and just be very on edge until he realizes he's right.

His entire life would fall apart when he finds out. He falls into destructive tendencies. Probably self-sabotages a lot. He feels like a failure, and he's so afraid of being made fun of or looked down on because he got cheated on. He'd probably fall into a depression and just be very negative. He'd feel like he wasn't enough, and couldn't be good enough. And feel he just couldn't be all his partner needed so they found it in someone else. But he'd also regain some of his trust in himself. Because he realized his intuition was right and he wasn't just losing his mind. Would definitely need a lot of kindness and comfort from friends and family, and a lot of self-expolration. May fall into delusions to help himself cope.

He'd also definitely break up with his partner if they cheated. Because they're obviously not his person, and he'll find his person.

Hyunjin

I haven't even pulled yet and I already know this'll affect my mental wellbeing

But also...MY MAN MY MAN MY MANNNNN I haven't read on him in a while (I'm saying this because he's my bias not because i'm delusional enough to think he'd want me don't @ me)

FIRST OF ALL, he'd believe he's being cheated on long before he actually is. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already been in a situation where he dreamed of being cheated on and then a few weeks later got cheated on and was convinced he was a prophet or something. Not literally but you catch my drift. But I also feel like the amount of time it'd take to figure it out is considerably lengthened by the fact that he looks at everything through rose-tinted glasses of hopeless romance. He has a love for life and is more focused on that than anything else. Plus, he's near perpetually convinced he's about to be cheated on or is being cheated on so once he genuinely DOES see the red flags it's less...Impactful? To him? Because he sees them in everything. He's sensitive, though, so i feel like he'd sense it if something was off. Like, if his partner was cheating because of lost feelings he'd realize the lost feelings. And then, his imagination would take the wheel and suddenly it's a joyride off a cliff and into a mental spiral. I feel like deep down he'd also know like "Oh shit, this is different. They may actually be cheating for real." I feel like he has the emotional maturity to know that other times he was overreacting and being delusional. But this is more than that. I feel like the moment he open his eyes, he'll immediately know.

And he's getting the hell up out of there.

He'd be CRUSHED if he found out he got cheated on. He'd probably throw his money away doing stupid shit with it, fall into certain bad habits. He'd feel hopeless, and feel like everything he worked so hard for during the relationship was a waste. Like he's failed. But he'd also 100% publicly expose his partner. I also think he'd drown his sorrows in another relationship or fling or whatever. I'm talking within the hour of finding out he's under someone else for the sole purpose of distraction. He'd also 100% use this to fuel his general anger/crashoutery for the next few months. Like he'll be another level of volatile and emotionally unstable. He'd probably reflect a lot on the relationship. He'd withdraw from a lot of things and just want to be by himself and recover from the pain. Definitely would avoid anything that could potentially stress him out.

He'd also break up with his partner. Surprisingly. I was honestly expecting him to stay. But I feel like his energy has changed? He has more trust in himself and his value and he's not just content sticking around through mistreatment anymore. Good for him.

Han

Shawty bae

I don’t think he’d notice? He’d just very much be blinded by everything. He idealizes his relationships, and he’d be so happy he just genuinely wouldn’t notice if something was amiss. He’s also just generally an overthinker and has a very scattered mind, so I think if he did pick up on something he wouldn’t notice AT ALL he’s not being delusional.

I think he’d still love them if they cheated. But I also think he’d be the type to…Cheat back? If his partner were to ever cheat on him. He’d definitely also get closer with friends and family for emotional support and find happiness there. Mask the sadness with more happiness and drown himself in pleasure. I think once he finds out everything will suddenly connect. All the puzzle pieces will fall into place and everything will suddenly make sense.

I think he would want to but I don’t think he would. It’d be a big inner conflict and he’d really have to force himself to. He’d need to think on it and his friends and family would have to push for it. Because he’s like “Well I’ve put so much effort into this why throw it away?” And just values the stability relationships and having his ‘other half’ brings to him.

#hyunjin #kpop tarot #skz #stray kids #tarot #skz tarot #stray kids tarot #Chan #Bangchan #Lee know #Minho #Lee Minho #Changbin #seo Changbin #hwang Hyunjin #headcanons #imagines #skz headcanons #skz imagines

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crowdusk · 23 hours ago

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CHAPTER 1136 THOUGHTS

[note: i read the official version when it comes out so i keep away from scan spoilers]

interesting that Who's-Who is (maybe) back considering he was the first to name and talk about Nika

Luffy so cute

I still don't like that we're getting a feast first thing in the arc...does not bode well but oh well let's go

more reinforcement of Elbaph being isolated/insular (which is weird considering Harald seemingly did so much to try and open it up...what was this dude doing)

speaking of which, I'm more and more suspicious about this dead king...I know I said he probably was just naive but hmmmmm. the fact that Jarul put him on the same level as Loki (a character that so far most giants have described as evil), the theme of misinformation and reputations being misleading, that the sword in Jarul's helmet looks like Harald's, that Jarul is definitely hiding something about Harald's death and Loki (look at his eyes in the panel where the giant is saying Jarul was there and tried to stop Loki). Harald smells fishier and fishier to me by the chapter, and it wouldn't surprise me if he was working with the Holy Knights/Elders in some way, maybe offering giants as military assets in exchange for (diplomatic) power. we also hear that he would leave Elbaph for periods of time which isn't all that suspicious by itself, but to me speaks to a disconnect between what he was doing and what his people were aware of.

so much lore!!!

interesting that a) Rodo says all giants growing up want to be the sun god and rule the world and b) there are different versions of Nika, which makes complete sense. Luffy literally does embody almost all the aspects mentioned - laughter, destruction, liberation - but it's interesting that the one thing Luffy has absolutely no interest in is ruling. he is a leader because people want to follow him, not because he wants to lead - how much is that true for Nika as a god, too?

I personally wasn't that surprised at the revelation that the world has been destroyed twice - I always thought the Void Century wasn't the earliest 'catastrophe' since the arrival of the people from the Moon was much earlier than that, and probably itself was a big cataclysm/reshaped the planet. plus, Nika probably comes from the Moon people (like the Shandorans) and so must be much older than the Void Century.

I am interested in the Harley, though (I SAID THERE WAS GOING TO BE IMPORTANT MYTHOLOGY PASSED DOWN IN ELBAPH). wondering if Robin could glean some information from it (pleaseeeeee) - but of course she's not there because Oda's smart and tricksy and annoying like that

the idea of change being both destructive and generative gets reinforced, and that it's to do with the toppling of power structures

of course, we need Luffy to reject the 'chosen one' fate, which he always does - he wouldn't be free otherwise

we kind of get told of Loki's deeds, finally. importantly, they're described as pranks and we actually see Loki laughing in the exact Nika pose Luffy takes on in gear 5. again, this idea of Loki really embodying the destructive but also comical and mischievous aspect of Nika makes me think he isn't a real antagonist to the Strawhats. plus, as we know with One Piece, the more someone is portrayed as one-dimensional by reputation (take Zoro for example), the more Oda likes to subvert those expectations. to me, Loki's pranks sound like a child acting out and messing around.

confirmation that Shanks caught Loki and that's probably what made him an Emperor, but seems like there's more to the story if Loki's calling him a coward. from later parts of the chapter it's clear Loki embraces the Elbaph warrior principles, so it doesn't seem like he'd call Shanks a coward if Shanks had beat him in a straightforward fight (but we'll see). this also makes me think, along with the last parts of the chapter, that Loki might actually take deals seriously and therefore may not have lied to Luffy (maybe he knows where Shanks is because he knows where the last road poneglyph is).

we get Zoro being pretty perceptive, and some explanation to why he was on edge. I maintain he's stressed and not quite himself post-Egghead, probably because he doesn't feel like he's as strong as he needs to be (and the crew isn't as strong as they need to be) - so he's being extra serious and careful. interestingly, Zoro is going off of Loki's reputation and as we know reputations are often false (as in his own case)

as we knew, Luffy's solution to Loki maybe tricking him is just 'well i'll beat him up if he causes any problems' - very much like his approach to Law and other pirates

i'm interested to see what Luffy Nami and Zoro will find in the castle, if they go there (any hints as to what happened with Harald?)

I thought the Knights were either going to try and kill or recruit Loki, but to be honest was leaning more towards the killing possibility so, I was wrong (although let's see what happens). I imagine it's to do with his devil fruit and general strength making him a useful asset. i'm actually leaning more towards his devil fruit being something related to prophecy/predicting the future/fate, since there was a mention of Harald prophesying his own death, and he keeps talking about fate and the future. plus, eyes are often a strong symbol of prophetic ability, visions etc and his eyes are covered. a strong giant with some kind of future-related ability? invaluable to the upper echelons of the World Government.

i did enjoy Loki calling them trash a lot, and it made me think that the Holy Knights may well recruit people from different countries across the world so that they have a network (notably since Gunko doesn't have a 'Saint' title and therefore may not have been born as/may not be a Celestial Dragon)

also very funny that the agents they sent got taken out by Rodo's weird scheme

obviously Oda giving us absolutely nothing wrt Shanks twin's face but atp we know it's not Shanks

it feels to me like the Shanks guy is her superior, since he kind of chastises her for getting ahead of herself

we see that Loki seems to follow the old warrior principles and beliefs, like Dorry and Brogy. he also isn't heartless, since he actually talks about his feelings quite openly (and not just rage but sadness too, which he also mentioned during his conversation with Shaggy). it feels like there's a strong emotional drive to his desire to 'destroy the world', not just cruelty and the enjoyment of senseless violence. i look forward to finding out where that comes from.

One Piece Chapters 1134 + 1135

SUMMARY (I simply cannot be concise so I thought I'd add summary points for anyone who doesn't want to read a whole long piece. Clown music though because even the summary is long. I can't help it.)

Also you can find previous Elbaph thoughts/predictions here.

I believe Elbaph’s current culture of peace and absolute non-violence came from Harald (who was probably an idealist) and Mother Carmel, who was – and is still – seen as a holy woman and saint by the giants. Her rhetoric was all about ‘everyone living together in peace’ in a superficial, unrealistic and one-dimensional way that hid and enabled a lot of violence. Including, of course, her literal job providing military assets to the World Government in the form of orphaned children to be made into spies and soldiers.

Mother Carmel’s infiltration may have led to Harald developing a relationship with the World Government (which he probably wanted Elbaph to become a part of), while we know that the Five Elders are wary of giants and have always sought to co-opt their strength. This might explain how the two Holy Knights looking for Loki were able to teleport into the castle (I believe there must be physical rules/limitations to the magic circle transport, e.g. some kind of physical anchor to the place you’re going).

This arc is going to look at and explore questions around peace and violence. Peace by and for whom? For example, ‘peace’ can look like the people at the center of society living without disturbance or discomfort while those on the margins suffer and are silenced (neoliberalism). Peace as defined by the absence of overt conflict doesn’t mean there is no harm or violence – it can be repression, manufactured consent, etc. True peace cannot be imposed from the top, it must be collectively built. And so forth. Conversely, violence and conflict are sometimes necessary to protect what you care about (your treasures), as we see with the Strawhats. Creating a peaceful and knowledge-centric society doesn’t have to be at odds with warrior culture, since being willing to put your life on the line is important in some instances. What will happen if external factors threaten Elbaph’s treasures?

Last review, I talked about how I think one of this arc’s central themes will be the juxtaposition of reality and fiction, truth and lies, stories and lived experiences. Illusions will shatter and false gods/idols will fall – I think the giants’ idolisation of Mother Carmel and Harald will end, one way or another. For the latter, I don’t necessarily think he was evil. More so that he was just one person who made mistakes and had flaws, rather than a perfect king who only ever brought wonderful changes to Elbaph. On the other hand, Loki may not be a god but he could have the powers of one, and I think the first impressions we got of him will be changed and shown to be misinformation to recast him in a more positive light. I think he had a good reason to kill his father, and that the events of Harald’s death are another false story that must be clarified. Oda loves a good character twist. (Honestly if Harald turns out evil, I’m here for it).

I also said in my last piece that I thought there would be internal divisions, and I still think this is going to be the case. For example, we don’t know why Hajrudin initially left Elbaph – could part of it have been feeling stifled by the loss of warrior traditions? This would make sense, since he wanted to follow in Dorry and Brogy’s footsteps. However, I think we might just see more of a spectrum of positions, rather than, say, two clear factions. Nevertheless, I still think the Strawhats will have to bring a lot of people together to fight a bigger antagonist, maybe even including Loki (as the potential king??) – but they’re pretty good at that.

Last time I wrote about 1132, I was still a little unsure about Loki’s vibe, but I didn’t think he would be the big villain. This is now pretty much confirmed for me and I think will become even clearer once we get the truth of his backstory. The more we see of him, the more we see a silly side – one that hides genuine care for people under a violent and fearsome facade. I think he’ll probably end up as an ally (even if he’s still morally ambiguous). Classic case of Luffy’s gut being right once again. I am particularly interested, though, in what this means about Loki’s proclamation that he’s the sun god who will destroy the world. Is it metaphor? Does he want to declare war on the WG? Is he still going to do some fucked up things? Unclear. But I still think divinity, myth and belief are key to Loki’s character and his juxtaposition with Luffy, and I’m interested to see exactly how.

I wrote about strength after chapter 1132, and I still think it’s going to be an important theme. What I’d like to add is that I think it will be specifically about strength in relation to pride, and warrior culture in general. Essentially, it will be about why people fight. Why people want to be strong, and why they take pride in it. The Strawhats fight for what they care about, especially people. This also includes things that carry the wills of people who have died, like the books of Ohara, or even the concept of people’s dreams. This arc will look at warrior culture, and the difference between a warrior society and an oppressive/hegemonic society which uses violence (fear and the threat of death) for extraction and control. Fundamentally, all these themes are about power in relation to collective freedom, and what it means to live a good life. There is rightful pride in being able to fight from a place of knowledge and connection, to fight for what you love and believe in (including people’s freedom) as opposed to the soulless genocide and extraction from those considered less deserving of life.

I think the declaration of the warriors at the feast might also be a foreshadowing of exactly what the Strawhats will do in Elbaph. Understanding and protecting their ancestral pride as warriors, and helping them reconnect to it as a country. Freeing them from ignorance (revealing the truth of what really happened with Carmel, Harald, and Loki). And saving them from being destroyed (this one’s pretty self-explanatory, but I believe it will be to do with Yggdrasil).

Ok if you’re here for the full whammy, yay! SO MUCH HAPPENED IN TWO CHAPTERS. GAH. Let’s just get straight into it.

So, in chapter 1134, we open with the strawhats meeting Saul outside the library. I don’t have much to say about this part thematically (same with the previous chapter) because I think it’s pretty straightforward. I’ll summarise: I loved it, Luffy poorly copying Jinbe was extremely funny, the reunion did actually make me cry, and I am forever crying over Robin just – being happy now. Being relaxed, content, smiling more, bonding with Bonney. My heart, my heart.

We also see Lilith introduce herself to Saul as Vegapunk, and explain to him (and us, for the first time!) that she has brought a “perfect re-creation” clone of Vegapunk with her. She plans to settle down in Elbaph and build a new lab. Ok, cool. Honestly, I’m a little eh about a Stella comeback (because I think it’s more interesting for him to be embodied by just his satellites) but just because that’s the plan doesn’t mean it’ll go smoothly, or happen for sure. On the other hand, I’m genuinely pleased that there’s a potential to bring Kuma back, not that he was ever never actually dead. We’ve had so many hints that there’s hope for him. Plus, he’s one of the characters that truly just went through the worst of the worst over and over for the sake of liberation and his loved ones, holding onto faith throughout. I think he deserves to be a father and be happy, I don’t care if that’s cheesy. But again, no guarantee that will actually happen.

Love and Light Only

We then see the Walrus School where the children are educated and hear that it was founded 20 years ago by Saul, at the behest of the former king, Harald. Once again, huge huge kudos to the assistants because wow. I want to live there. What follows is Luffy’s encounter with some of said children, who turn out to be, well, absolute wimps. They don’t use ‘bad’ or potentially insulting words, and they’re not going to be setting out to sea to fight ruffians when they’re older. They’re learning in school, rather than being trained to be warriors. In fact, as their teacher Ripley tells us, being a warrior nowadays isn’t fashionable, because “insults, violence, pillaging, war” are just “not the world we live in anymore”. [Side note: the number of beautiful giant women Oda is giving us??? It's tough out here for a gay]. Absolutely nothing even close to violence or antagonism are allowed, not even petty insults, specifically by the children, which tells us this is very much the way they’re being raised and taught. It’s giving weird, cloying, toxic positivity. I was even going to say there is no war in Ba Sing Se, but I don’t think we’re dealing with brainwashing here – just insularity and idealism.

We see this reinforced by the repeated mentions that Elbaph has very little connection to the outside world – they don’t pay attention to it, they don’t get news coos, they just mind their own business. Interestingly, we also know that any “intruders” immediately get captured (presumably to be vetted and potentially kept out if they risk disturbing the peace). I honestly can’t remember if the news coo thing has come up before in the context of non-WG countries, but I don’t think so? Anyways, that’s pretty bad. Like, if a country isn’t in the World Government (which, remember, requires paying literal tribute to the Celestial Dragons) they just don’t get information about what’s happening in the world? Wild stuff. In some ways maybe that’s protective, but in other ways, extremely dangerous.

On the topic of language, we also immediately see ways in which these cultural rules are being broken. The way Ripley speaks is rougher, as she herself calls the kids brats and says she teaches by “negative example” (do as I say not as I do). So we’re seeing a clear generational rift in culture between what Ripley later says is the “last generation of warriors” (presumably she’s around the same age as Hajrudin, Loki, Rodo, Gerd etc) and the current children. When we meet Collun, we also immediately see that the way the other children treat him isn’t exactly kind. Despite strictly following rules around things like name-calling, they outright say they hate him. He replies in kind, but it’s not hypocritical of Collun in the way it is for the other children. He’s clearly the rough “wild child” who’s following the older warrior culture, whereas the ways in which the educational system is teaching ‘non-violence’ clearly doesn’t preclude them from excluding or being rude to a kid who’s different from them. In fact, they’re just following the rules and it’s ok to be mean to him because he’s always causing trouble and not following the rules, so he deserves it. They even basically imply why are you here. I think this kind of petty behaviour isn’t abnormal or horrendous for kids, but it does highlight to me that the kind of ‘peaceful’ culture Elbaph is aspiring to feels extremely one-dimensional, oversimplified, and somewhat superficial. Even the way Ripley talks about it feels so smoothed out and idealistic, which is strange coming from the mouth of someone who still looks and behaves like a warrior. What happened from one generation to the next?

Ripley goes on to say Harald’s policy was “don’t fight other countries – trade with them!” Sound familiar? Yeah. Those were exactly Mother Carmel’s ideas for the giants a hundred years ago, when she lived on Elbaph. This was following the dissolution of the Giant Warrior Pirates because Dorry and Brogy had started their century-long duel on Little Garden, when she appeared as a “wandering holy woman” and ‘saved’ some of their crew from execution by beseeching the marines for forgiveness and an end to violence. The giants understandably see her as a saviour and saint who performed a miracle. We only learn later that this was a stunt pulled in collaboration with the marines and the World Government, which allowed her to gain the trust of the giants and infiltrate Elbaph as a child trafficker.

Now, I’m not saying Harald was aware of Carmel’s true nature, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he was inspired by/agreed with what she was saying, thus starting Elbaph’s current era of ‘peace’ with the Giant Warrior Pirates out of the way. Carmel was a perfect human link to the WG who could help Harald carry out his ideas, while her saviour position in the eyes of other giants helped him convince his people. This is important, because that means this peace was potentially built with a foundation of deceit tied to military strategy. Carmel wasn’t operating alone – she was specifically selling orphaned children to the WG to be marines, spies and agents. We see her talking to and dealing with CP0, who work directly under the Celestial Dragons and the Five Elders. Mother Carmel was a morally putrid money-hungry old hag, yes, but she was also an instrument of the WG. We also know that the WG has long been interested in harnessing and controlling the power of giants (from Carmel talking about getting giant children into the navy, like John Giant, to MADS’ and later Caesar’s gigantification experiments). In a world based on power inequality, oppression and authoritarian domination, the giants are military assets – if only they can be assimilated into the system. And who is easier to indoctrinate and control than children?

To be clear, I think peace with a focus on education and knowledge is great! I would love for the world to be that way. And I definitely don’t think the “goal” of this arc should be to renounce those ideals or simply go back to being a completely war-based culture. Knowledge is extremely important in One Piece – that’s quite literally a central theme of the whole series. And of course, we are shown time and time again how horrific and devastating war is. However, history – why and how things come to be is crucial. Is something coming from people’s informed collective desires, or is it coming from the decision of one person/a few people? Is it something that benefits everyone? Is it growth from a place of understanding, or historical amnesia and bypassing material reality? The truth is that right now, the One Piece world isn’t past “violence, insults, pillaging, war”. It’s very much full of those things, specifically because it is rife with inequality. Elbaph so far has been sheltered from these problems, but what happens if the problems come to them?

This is one of the central questions I believe Elbaph is going to grapple with. What is peace, and what is violence? How can true peace be created? Can violence truly be eradicated from the world? What different kinds of violence are there?

I think the books from Ohara, the Owl Library and Yggdrasil are going to be of crucial importance to these questions. We know that Yggdrasil is extremely important to Elbaph, and we also know that accumulated collective knowledge and education – as represented by the books – are beyond precious. So, the giants have something to protect that isn’t just their own lives: they have a collective treasure. I wouldn’t be surprised if threats to these treasures are the catalyst for the giants’ reconnection to their warrior natures. Pillaging and engaging in violence just for the sake of it or for sadistic pleasure is unnecessary and cruel, but being a fighter and a warrior in order to protect what one cares about – one’s treasure – is important. All the warrior cultures we’ve seen so far in One Piece have shared this reason for their strength, from the Shandorans protecting their sacred ancestral lands and history, to Wano with Pluton, and the Minks with their poneglyph and Zunesha.

Elbaph can be a peaceful nation that focuses on education and knowledge, and still be able to protect that knowledge if necessary through maintaining relationship to the core aspects of their warrior culture: honour, courage, strength, skill, freedom, etc. I think that’s also where pride can sit, in the space of being strong enough to do what’s needed to protect life, dreams, love, and what we care about. This is, after all, what we see time and time again in pirates like Luffy and the Strawhats – that fighting and strength are absolutely not everything, and look different for everyone, but are ultimately important to protecting what’s important to us. There is pride in embracing one’s dreams, taking action, resisting oppression and injustice, and having a strong relationship to life and death as warriors do. As an aside, I do think Usopp will be a key person who inspires this shift and re-invigorates the giants’ pride (big speech time!).

Ideals and Idols

Two things jumped out at me in this section of the chapter. The first is that multiple people have referred to Harald as a “great king”, or something along the lines of ‘beloved by everyone’. Now, that’s not so strange. He could’ve just been a really caring or charismatic leader. But the emphasis makes me a little suspicious about what was going on behind the scenes, especially since we know what Mother Carmel was really doing, but the giants still don’t know the truth. They still see her as a holy figure and miracle worker who saved them and even cared about Linlin, a “god of disaster”. I think it’s no coincidence that the figures of Harald and Carmel have been set up as key figures of this hundred-year period who are idolised by the giants, and the illusion is going to crumble at some point. I believe the truth about Carmel being the epitome of ‘peace and love’ hypocrisy will come out, and so will whatever truth about Harald. Again, to be clear, I’m not saying I think Harald was evil or had bad intentions – it’s more likely that he was tricked and manipulated by Carmel and the WG because of his idealism. I think he probably wanted to make Elbaph part of the WG (in order to pursue his goals of peace and trade), he wanted Elbaph to open up to the world, and he wanted ‘peace’ in the sense of blanket non-violence.

That last part we already saw expressed with terrifying clarity in a child Linlin, when she locked a bear and a wolf in a cage to stop them fighting because “fighting is bad”. I won’t get into analysing that metaphor right here (I think I’ll make a separate post) but it is so on the nose – forced peace and non-violence is itself violent and creates more violence, especially because it requires imposing your will on other beings and taking away their freedom. Peace for whom? And by whom? I believe the truth of Harald’s engagement with the WG, and either his collaboration with them or his mistakes in dealing with them will come to light, and I’m sure Loki’s reasons for killing him are related.

In this way, Harald opened Elbaph up to infiltration and engagement from the WG, who I’m sure were only waiting for an opportunity to gather intelligence and start undermining the giants’ power or bend it to their use. Like I said previously, I strongly believe that the Warland giants had ties to the Ancient Kingdom and the events of the Void Century. It would absolutely be in the WG’s interest to bring them over to their side and disconnect them from any remaining traces of that history. In fact, Mother Carmel’s House of Lambs also centered around the idea of ‘reforming’ children and helping them leave their ‘problematic’ past behind. This same idea of reform has been used to describe Elbaph itself. This treats history as something to bury and leave behind – something shameful, rather than something to acknowledge properly, learn and grow from. And of course if we know anything about One Piece at all, we know that forgetting or erasing history is literally one of the most central problems/mistakes/evils of the series. We see this further shown in the fact that Ripley is the one to bring up Nika to Luffy, and that she specifies she’s from the last generation of warriors tells us that the children might not even know about him. Why would they, if he’s a warrior god and they’re actively being taught to be anything but warriors? It gave me chills, no joke.

So the ‘peace’ in Elbaph feels especially uneasy right now, despite Ripley’s words. There are antagonists working for Garling/Imu on the island. There is what seems like a red herring of an antagonist (Loki). There is misdirection and mystery galore. So many illusions and false stories to be shattered. False idols to be toppled. Funnily enough, the one story we know is real right now is a literal living myth (Luffy’s Nika form), who is also just a guy. Ideals and idols need to be brought down to earth for real living people to connect with materially, instead of being held aloft and out of reach. What did the arc open with? Rodo pretending to be a god. We’ve also had another character claim to be a god in Loki, meanwhile we know Celestial Dragons (including the Holy Knights) pretty much believe themselves to be gods. Yeah, I’m reiterating my point that ideas of faith and divinity are going to be crucial in Elbaph. In fact, I will put it out here right now that we’re going to get more information about the Lunarians, who were also called gods (I have a whole theory about that).

Updated Loki thoughts

The last thing I wanted to talk about is some updated thoughts on Loki. Basically, he’s a tsundere?? Love to see it. It seems that at least part of the unhinged and violent temperament we’ve seen from him so far is a facade, since his long-term friend ‘Shaggy’ says “I’ve realized recently that those fearsome words of yours hide your kindness”. We see that Loki has a friend he’s never met or seen, but known for a long time through den den mushi conversations. He empathises with said friend’s recent traumatic experience, saying it hurts him to hear it, while overreacting when they call him kind. Typical bluster, which seems to compensate for what is a sense of compassion and understanding. Not a heartless villain, then. This of course consolidates the idea that he isn’t how he appears on the surface and how he was first introduced, and that Luffy’s instincts were right. This does make me feel much better about their ‘promise’, even if it will still probably end up causing chaos. On top of that, it reinforces my feeling that he reminds me of Law, and will probably end up as an ally to the Strawhats in some way. Maybe by the end of the arc he will even be restored as the king of Elbaph, potentially alongside Hajrudin. Speaking of which, I went back to the previous chapter where the Giant Warrior Pirates were talking about Loki and Hajrudin, and the description of Loki as “another official child” of Harald makes me think Hajrudin is probably his illegitimate half-brother. But we’ll see.

All of this has me thinking about the other giants calling him the “shame of Elbaph”. Initially I thought this might be because his actions are considered dishonourable, and I still think that’s probably the case. But having had the developments about Elbaph’s cultural shift, I wonder if part of the dishonour is just doing any kind of violent acts in Elbaph at this point. Thinking about how the other children treated Collun, and talked about insults, is there a sense that anything ‘barbaric’ on the island is shameful? Have they maybe even been taught to be ashamed of their violent past as Warland? I wouldn’t be surprised. And if so, that makes me even more worried about how that happened and the consequences of such revisionism and reform. As I said earlier, it’s one thing to want to change and improve, to move forward collectively for everyone’s good. It’s another to completely reject the past and bury it. Shame can be an important part of reflection and acknowledgment, when deserved, but it can also prevent real growth. I worry that Harald and Carmel’s approach was just to give Elbaph a PR-style culture change that has left them with a flimsy and fragmented social structure. One that is particularly vulnerable to hegemonic influence and external danger.

Speaking of which, my thoughts on the two strangers (I’m going to call them Holy Knights because I’m pretty sure they are) looking for Loki are that they are either here to kill him, or to influence/recruit him somehow. I’m sure they’ve had intel on the situation in Elbaph, including the fact that there is no king since Loki didn’t ascend to the throne. Given that it seems Harald wasn’t a threat to the WG, I assume they know that Loki is different somehow. We also know that the Holy Knights are essentially the military special forces unit of the Five Elders/Imu, so I don’t think they’re there for a tea party. Even if their mission involves diplomacy, I think violence and threats are probably part of the plan. Hence, persuading him of something (with force if necessary) or assassinating him. We saw Loki has a “special” bounty, probably because he killed his father and/or has a legendary devil fruit, so it makes more sense to me that the knights are there to take him out. Plus, from a narrative point of view, if Loki is a rebel compared to his father, and is likely to ally with the Strawhats, he’s probably a character that is going to be set in opposition to the World Government.

I don’t have much to add to what everyone’s already saying about the Shanks lookalike Danks, other than I agree it’s not Shanks and is either a relative or a clone, especially with the way clones keep being brought up. They’re clearly very powerful if the bandage person is anything to go by (bandage-bandage fruit?? the way they used it to break the guy’s bones was something), and I’m hyped for more. I’ve been waiting to see the Holy Knights since we got the God Valley flashback. I’m so ready for new villains. I'm also pretty scared, since we're getting a feast at the beginning of an arc. That doesn't bode well for the ending to me...but let's enjoy the good vibes while they last.

Honestly it feels like these last two chapters just left us with more questions than answers, and knowing Oda, we might not get those answers for a while! But let’s see. The opening parts of an arc are always the most fun to me because of that.

Bonus favourite bits:

Saul asking why Vegapunk's a woman and Lilith being like "who gaf"

Robin being happy always

Chopper and Robin library time I cry

Ripley being excited to see Nika Luffy, and Luffy's response

BIG ANCIENT OWL!!!!!!!! I LOVE

Bonney, Chopper and Robin on giant books

Luffy's interaction with Collun - truly big brother

the way Stephen Paul translated the kids' speech (vylence, vishus)

the new outfits, very cute (especially love Jinbe's)

the Jarul gag????? unserious

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