#and I couldn't capture the bittersweet stuff

[anantaru]

BITTERSWEET TASTE

— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — being in the knights of favonius came with its own responsibilities, yet why was it so unbelievably difficult for kaeya to get up in the morning when you‘re laying next to him all pretty and riled up?

— ꒰ word count ꒱ — 3.1k

— ꒰ a/n ꒱ — decided to repost this hidden fic, enjoy <3

— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ns]fw, fem! reader, prone bone, fingering, morning sex, morning wood, biting, he cums in you, basically kaeya doesn't want to go to work <3

there was a pearly glow in the morning sky with the first of many rays of sunlight casting a rosy hue up the bedroom, prickling on kaeya's bronzed skin.

fluttering his eyelashes open for the first time post slumber, he scrubbed his face with his hands as to try to wipe away the tiredness that was still viewable on his handsome features. He yawned, stretching his broad body, tilting his neck left and right.

if only he didn't have to work today, he thoughts to himself, fighting off his laziness and huffing out dramatically.

naturally, ever since the grandmaster left for an important expedition, kaeya had to work more than usual, do stuff he in any other circumstances wouldn't have to bother to even bat an eye over.

of course, with the entire cavalry gone, one would think that the cavalry captain himself wouldn't have to particularly do much, yet he still had to aid the knights with various tasks as they were short in staff.

a low sigh escaped him and his heart bubbled with swells of delight upon taking in the look of his sleeping beauty curved up into a ball, your breathing tranquil with your eyes scrunched together.

how can someone be so cute and beautiful? while also infecting him with blissful joy.

leaving nothing to the imagination, his mind froze with his body feeling light, as if he wasn't entirely there yet, wandering his piercing gaze over your heaving figure, drinking in your peacefulness.

he tried to decipher on how he managed to end up so lucky, how it was him, of all people, who captured your heart.

on further analysis, he focused and crossed his vision over you, his breathing slowing down. He caught a glimpse of your white panties nudged out of your sleep shirt, the fabric was flimsy and was barely able to keep everything hidden and tugged away, the outline of your puffy folds poked out just slightly and watered his mouth on sight.

next, kaeya heavily settled his hands on your hips and pulled you closer into his embrace, he was still very much tired and exhausted, the thought about him having to leave for work in a bit was annoying, straight up mind shattering, a frustrated growl tingling in his throat.

cocking his head in the nook of your soft neck, kaeya took in your scent, so familiar and soothing, kissing the thin flesh under your ear. The strokes of his rough lips on you ultimately stirred you from your sleep, a dizzying sense of pleasure crawling over your shoulders.

"kaeya?" your voice was whispery and barely there, laced in with a raspy undertone when you cradled your head to the side, meeting his hooded eyes. "morning, beautiful."

you couldn't help yourself but roll your eyes at him, such tease, your brows crinkling at the corners as a peel of laughter echoed in the large room. With your hand, you removed the navy blue hair strands that covered your boyfriends handsome face, stilling your palm on his warm cheek and brushing your thumb over his lower lip.

"don't you have to work?"

"hmm." nuzzling himself into you, he continued, "how awful would i be if i don't?" kaeya crossed his arms around you with the plush of your behind pressed against his member, your eyes growing to the size of saucers upon realizing how riled up he had gotten.

"jean won't be happy if you're late." attempting to disturb him from his little fantasy, he set off the heavy erection in his pants, gently rutting itself within your softness, his rough tongue eagerly dragging over your neck and biting down the wet spot, ultimately forgetting about your words, as if he didn't perceive them in the first place.

"foul play!" he feigned a dramatic, teasing tone, "but this isn't about jean right now."

his hips bucked up yet again, this time unconsciously before one of his hands wandered towards your stomach, hooking his fingers into the elastic of your panties to pull them down in a single motion. Your breath was trembling with a sweet squeak robbed out of your mouth, melting into his warmth with your eyes closed.

his hand disappeared within your heat, nudging in between your thighs as you spread them a bit to make it easier for him to travel to where you craved it. "only for five minutes kaeya, okay?"

"five minutes, five minutes." he repeated sheepishly, gaping his mouth open and poking out his sharp canines from underneath his upper lip, prancing on your neck, adding his rough tongue up until reaching your earlobe to gingerly suck on it. You whined from his little scheme, noticing your nipples perked up from underneath your shirt and rubbing over the flimsy material as you whined at the first long finger poking at your entrance.

your cheeks grew warm, drizzling hot and your eyes fluttered close to relish in the digit filling you at last, the stretch was barely painful or to be perceived yet still pleasurable. Your insides were twisting and turning around his skillfulness which had kaeya's vision turn blank, jaw dropping loosely before a massive grin heaved on him.

considering on how your moans sounded, how they pooled over his ears like sweet liquid, sugary candy, kaeya figured you were very much sensitive, might be because you had just woken up, carefully wiggling his finger deep into you to wheedle another reaction out from your lips.

"don't hide your sounds from me, don't even dare."

his gorgeous face was behind you, kaeya absolutely despised it when you hid your pleasure from him, your lust and ache, sometimes you even did in on purpose to drive him mad, yet he always made sure to punish his sweet little angel properly afterwards.

"kaeya, it feels good." he was spreading the mess over your folds with every shove into your core, you nodded frantically to signal him how well he did, your head falling back against his neck as he added another finger into the mix, almost immediately pulling it into you and searching for more with his hungry eyes.

this time you stretched further, hole parting, the combination of his middle and ring finger rubbing their rough pads into your velvety walls had you short of breath, nudging your sweet spot. You were rocking side to side as you held each other in a loving clasp, moaning and breathing in sync.

a simple happiness, that's what it was for kaeya, seeing you unravel for him in such a short amount of time, a confident bubble bursting in his belly as he noticed the heavy dent in his boxers, growing, aching and rubbing against the uncomfortable material of his sweat shorts.

kaeya drew in his breath upon noticing your spasming walls, letting go of the air in his lungs with a shiver. He shifted his leg, pressing you closer together and increasing the pace on his hand. Without warning he scissored your sensitive cunt, curling and sending waves of electric thrills throughout your skin.

your eyebrows knitted together in concentration, tightening your jaw as you moaned his name, arching your spine away yet he jerked you back almost immediately, "I'm so close kaeya.. please." your skin was heated, yet the warmth crossing you from deep inside roamed into you in fast spurts, slumping back and forth.

"i want you to cum on my fingers, can you do this for me?" hoarsely voicing his command with authority taking over the room, he shoved his fingers in, thick and wet, delving them into you as you grinding yourself back, meeting his hand halfway through his heavy tugs.

"i‘m gonna cum—" moaning in protest, your sloppy hole suckled down on kaeya‘s slender, skillful digits, clamping your thighs to hold him there when you spasmed, shivering and whining when your orgasm threw itself at you.

kissing and biting your neck he hummed in satisfaction at your tones, your pleas and begs, the vibration he exclaimed was filling you and hit your core in a torrent of electricity.

your hands abruptly clasped onto his wrist to still his movements yet kaeya was chasing your release like a wild beast, finger fucking you through your climax with sloppy noises turning you into an embarrassing mess.

creating friction through his rough way with you, you grabbed him, your mouth opening but nothing came out and throat tightening when you cummed at last with a silent cry of his name, sobbing your words.

pure bliss, that's how kaeya would describe it, his palm glistering with arousal. "now would you look at yourself, what a sight to behold." your mind was a bit off and still wobbly, cradling your head back to look at him through lidded eyes, meeting his lustful ones.

"shut up kaeya, you wanted this." your sassiness was maddening and set his loins on fire, truly delicious. Kaeya pulled out of you, a string of your essence connecting him to your core when he did something that almost brought you on the verge of release again.

pleasantly dizzy, his slick covered fingers found his mouth when he pried the pads past his plump lips, lapping onto his digitd to drink in what you gifted him with, moaning and groaning around his fingers and hollowing his cheeks to suck them dry.

a whisper, a moan, taking itself out on your craving body when you watched in anticipation, now fully awake and completely forgetting that kaeya was very much late for work, not to mention the little '5 minute rule from ealier' was nowhere to be found. The aroma of his scent clasped around you, filling your nostrils and getting you weak in the knees, cradling your senses.

another long inhale, you yanked his hand away and kissed him, hard. Shaking, tantalizing goosebumps bristled on your skin, a sharply edged euphoria playing in your heart upon noticing his fully erected member resting against your thigh, a big wet splotch plastered on the side.

your fingers listened to his silent pleas, traveling down his stomach before cupping his groin, caressing it with your warm palm. You rolled forward, eliciting a groan from your boyfriend when he captured you in another kiss, rutting himself into your hand like a horny beast. "you're so fucking perfect for me." he sputtered, adding his strength on your hips to pull you back abruptly.

kaeya rose up, displaying himself to you as he exposed of his shirt together with his pants and boxers, cock plopping out and standing fully erect. His tip was swollen and rosy, desperate and needy when he beckoned you to turn around, following suit.

you lowered yourself onto the silky, white pillows with your behind perked up, your drenching pussy on full display for him to indulge himself in. Fuck, he wanted to be inside you right now, wanted his cock to be drenched full with filth and lewdness and make love to you.

"five minutes, right?" he taunted you with it, amusement finding him on how you thought you’d be satiated by a mere five minutes.

kaeya couldn't wait any longer, simply draping your shirt up and not giving a single fuck to discard of it completely, your glowing back greeting him. His rough hands branded your shaking skin, a satisfied growl deep in his lungs was leaving him as he got a hold of his stiff erection to drag it in and out of the little tunnel he created with his hand.

"i'm gonna be so late." chuckling to himself and in a way, it sounded as if kaeya was making fun of said fact, butterflies cascading through his stomach at the mere sight of you alone.

of course this was way better than working and fulfilling his duties.

your glistering pussy fluttered around nothing, sobbing and aroused, still mourning the loss of his long fingers when you trapped your lower lip in between your sharp teeth, hiding a moan.

"baby—" you're mewling now, "please don't tease me, i can‘t take it." wiggling yourself back, kaeya couldn't help himself but smirk devilishly, so unbelievably handsome that the sight of it would've made you cum on the spot. "who do you think i am? i'd never!"

pretending to be shocked, he lowered himself, hands pressing on your behind and gripping the plush of your ass, squeezing and wiggling it. An electric pulse went through your bones when he brushed his cockhead within your folds, collecting your filthy essence on his skin and slobbering him wet.

the natural lubricant would come in handy, surely, kaeya was mostly rough with you and in all honesty, you didn't mind, more so did you secretly encourage it whenever he'd claim you like that, whenever he'd show you how much he desired you without actually using any words.

he was perfect, truly, he was broad and thick, pressing himself into you and filling you to the brim, cunt parting in a rough manner you wouldn't want any other way.

every twitch, turn and twist of his cock you could feel, witness and drink in, you cried out whiningly in a breathy way with tears dwelling in your eyes. He draped himself over you, chest flushed on your back and licking a straight line on the back of your neck with his rough tongue, your tiny hairs sticking into the air from convulsing shivers.

"fuck, you're so tight today." his words were lustful and imploring, savoring and distracting you from the slight discomfort of your lower region being practically impaled by him. A string of saliva connected your skin to his lips, he was messy with you, adding spit and drawing it on your neck to continue to suckle and bite the wet flesh, hitting your sweet spot but not moving where you yearned for it the most.

kaeya pushed you back, leaving his tip in and waxing over your reactions, sending a bolt of lightning down your spine upon snapping himself back, roughly and so unbelievably hard that you thought your heart would actually burst out of your chest.

crying his name you moaned in tune with the pace he was settling for, dragging his raw member into your shivering insides and rubbing deliciously on your favorite spots, punctuated thrusts pressing roughly within you.

relentless, that's how he was with you, marking and branding you with his thick cock alone, his heavy balls smacking at your behind and eliciting arousing torment in your core, feeding into your desires when the flirst droplets of tears covered your warm skin, sticking on your cheeks.

large hands tilted your hips up while simultaneously applying pressure on your back to nudge you against the mattress, the new position making it possible for kaeya to dig into you more.

yet in comparison you got tighter, your hole delicate and milking him for all he's worth. Your oversensitive pussy was on its breaking point, drooling and making a mess out of his length, swallowing him whole, as if you were made for him.

"I'm so close-" you sobbed and he growled at your voices, changing the intensity and snaking up one of his skilled hands to your shaking clit, rubbing you fiercely in tune with his hips. "i know baby, i can feel you." your heart erupted, kaeya was delving as deep as he could possibly go, blown pupils directed to where your bodies connected and sloppily drooled over each other.

kaeya believed he was in heaven, more so loving to see you dripping wet of arousal and he was the cause of it! he alone was responsible for your fucked out state, mustering the strength to keep going, rubbing and pinching your clit in between his rough pads.

tearing you forward, you cried out his name in between panting, coaxing him on to go faster, more, you needed more and had to release now.

"I'm gonna fill you up." through gritted teeth, he told you his favorite way to come undone, something about you trusting him this much was catapulting him to cloud nine. His bruising grip overthrew your body, no words were bothered to be voiced by you, far too gone with the ache in your core threatening to break, teetering on edge and so fucking close, you wanted to get there already, your whines laced with frustration.

sore, sweaty and aching you twitched around him, soul smoldering and stinging when you finally cummed hard, each thrust barreling through your body and sending you over the edge, fisting your fingers into the cushions under you while almost ripping them apart.

your toes curled inwards with your skin shaking, jolts of torment and deep pleasure grasped and hid the control of your body from you, leaving you to kaeya with your sensitivity. How hot your body became, igniting flames in you and bursting the sweet bubble in your belly, the one that sent you spiralling into desire and bliss.

he flattened his hips on you, stilling himself when he came in a broken groan. Kaeya shifted his weight up in a much more convenient angle so he wouldn't suddenly crush you or collapse on top of you from the intense orgasm.

"fuck, that's it baby, that's it." his thumbs buried into your hips, pouring his sweet cum in you and archons, did he cum a lot, it was quilling over and sobbing down your aching hole, staining your thighs together with his pelvis.

he slid his cock out before greedily swatting it back in, moaning in tandem and feeling the residue of your orgasm wash over. He sunk in on you as though overwhelmed he twitched yet again, eyes pointing towards the filth in your legs. Your entire body tightened and his groans sliced you up, how blunt and raw they sounded, how shameless and unbelievably hot.

"fuck, what a mess i made." he heaved out a satisfied sigh, grinning and laughing wildly, casting a gentle shadow on you.

turning your sore body around to face him, you met his gaze, drawing your arms out for him to kiss him. Kaeya chuckled at your adorable teary expression, leaning forward to apply kisses on your lips, swaying you with his charm.

"i don't want to go to work." he painfully admitted to you next, pouty lips pecking your nose, cheeks and going back to your mouth, nibbling on your skin.

"kaeya, you need to go to work." you gently whined at him while still being utterly sensitive.

brushing his bangs away with your fingers, you settled your warm palms on his face and watched him display puppy eyes for a bit, as if he was waiting for you to urge him to stay yet you simply squeezed his cheeks playfully in response.

he huffed out, nudging your nose as he carefully drew himself back with a frutrated sigh. You tilted your head in an irritated manner when your confused eyes followed his body leave the bedroom.

"lets hop in the shower together, i‘m going after i promise."

©2024 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own

[lokorum]

what would you say is your favorite jonmichael fic..... im very curious and love to reread anything in that tag

oh but how can i pick only one when they all are so good??? (,,•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ,,)?

aaaaaa can i make the several honorable mentions of the fics that made me scream and roll on the floor?????? pretty please???

scheherazade was one of the first jonmichael fics that i found while going through all of the cher's works because, evidently, they have no fics that are not worth reading!! (i'm sorry if and forty feet down only confirming it!!!)

sleep inertia has one of the best dialogues i ever read!!! the way cruelzy writes michael's lines??? aaaaaaaaa its so delicious and believable and never for a second i thought i'm reading something out of canon?? its just that good. 

carousel is the only one fic (from what i found) that i set in the last season and its adds a lot of layers to that big jonmichael onion that torments my eyes for a while now ldkfjgkdfjg also it's messy?? i mean the whole situation in the fic?? its so humanly complicated and it does not gives you the chance to experience any of the feelings clearly and i love it!! screechfox somehow captured all of the complicated stuff in one fic, blendered it together and for the whole time i just couldn't take my eyes away from it. 

five times michael saves jon's life and one time he doesn't have to - is here to sooth our pain and heal our wounds. i reread it so many times!! the dynamic between jon and michael in it is one to live for!!! sometimes you think 5+1 kind of fics can't surprise you anymore and then the coolest author like paisleycowboys enters the room and proves you wrong. 

to be like super honest, the 100 ways to say i love you series, when i first saw it, made me think im not gonna like it? i love my fanfics long and scary and bittersweet and with a bad-very-not-good-endings, so the title of this one made me go "hmmmmm HMMMMM hmmmmm hmmmm?" but ive started to read it anyway, theres not that many fics on the ao3 for jonmichael, we cant afford to be capricious and gosh GOSH i was so fucking wrong!!! its sweet AND sad AND scary AND awkward (in a best way!!!) AND it made me giggle so many times!!! NeedsCaffeineRightNow can make even the edgiest of us enjoy the soft kinds of fics (its not hard when they are written with so much care and love.)

POSSESSIVE!! MICHAEL!! COMBING!!! JON'S!! HAIR!!!!!! what else do we need from life?

transition, every time i reread it or think about it, makes me painfully aware of how many things should coincide for something to work. it's not one of those fics that completely encompass you; nor its the one that leaves you with new headcanons or in a good mood, no, i think it's the one that leaves you in dissoray, making you want to argue with author, to ask them what were they thinking about, pointing on your weak sides like this?, giving you something precious and then stealing it away? pushing your old bruises? that is to say, i have nothing but deep respect for indefensibleselfindulgence. to write fic that makes you want to engage in conversation? thats powerful 

Our 'Angel' of Static and Bone is written so inexplicably good, that more than once i wondered, how NeverwinterThistle was able to do it? and then i realised they are one of my fave bg3 and dishonored authors phpphp but really, the care, the effort that went into this fic? they are literally visible! you can feel the amount of time and brain juice that went into writing it. and the neighbor character? they appeared like two times?? and still their addition left me speechless with how clever it is, how different!! absolutely amazing work.

adjective noun has jonmichael chapter (11) that destroyed me as a person i swear i laughed so hard i dropped my phone and just kept giggling face-into-the-pillow style!!!!!! its rare for the fics to bring you this childish kind of pure joy; the little in-between moment of forgetting about everything, good and bad, and just have a good time. this chapter is definitely one of those rare things and it also made me wish there would be more jonmichael fics from cuttoth. somehow they nailed everything that should be nailed about this ship and did it in a couple of pages, what a magical work!! 

and well, now here's my fave fic, the one that took my head, shaked it like it's a soda can, and then left it open, fountaining at first and then dented and empty. 

I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying is the work that made me grateful for the fact that i know how to read in english. its....mmmm, you know that feeling when fic makes you go through literally everything? and then, as a bonus, through all stages of grief as well?

first you get hooked up by the beautiful writing style and so you know the fic is gonna be good and you get comfortable and you turn yourself off from the rest of the world and you read. 

you love pov, you love mood shifts, you love pacing, you love when scenes are short and you pause to think about what happened / you love when scenes are long and you get overloaded with the simple things that make you feel complicated emotions, you love it all. 

then you start to wish it would never finish; you look at the scrolling bar from time to time, a little bit too aware of how much there's left to read, a little bit too anxious about it. and at the same time, the fic starts to make you feel safe, confident, that at least it's gonna be alright, its gonna be that one work that will replace the canon events for you. it was the

“Oh. Oh, Archivist, no. That’s not right at all,” you say to yourself as you watch him march into artefact storage, both hands clamped around an axe. 

On a whim, you decide to save him."

line for me for sure uhhh it still hits as good as the first time too 

and then you get to the ending and you just stare at the screen. that hollowing feeling slowly spreading inside you. *sigh* its the best sort of inspiration im sure, but its the worse one too. i have no idea how possessedradios and authors like them are able to write something that kills you, then reanimates you and then makes you sit in front of the tablet drawing hours non stop. ''I ask for nothing, but maybe I'm lying" is so beautiful its scares and fascinates me, just like the podcast did. hell, better then the podcast did.  i know its silly but i even named my fisrt fanart of michael as the title of the fic 👉👈

ahhhh SO i rumbled again SORRY!!!!!!! every time someone asks something from me its either "i'll reply later" (replies 10 years after) or "tolstoy, hold my fucking beer". but i really hope that fic writers, not only those who are mentioned here but like in general? know how much they affect other people!! how their work creates safe spaces for others!! how they make readers smile or cry, even if those readers (im not pointing finger on myself idk what you talking about pgphpphph) are little gremlins that leaving comments once in a decade....................

have fun time reading!! <3

btw im working on a little fanart rn............. (expressing my deepest grattitude to ao3 johmichael writers 😳🔪)

[aaaaafro]

Maybe I am? - ITZY - Yeji x M! Reader (+18)

tw: mommy kink, it was requested a while back but I forgot who it was but now here ya go, ya freak! Kidding! lowkey mommy Yeji is hot 🔥

"Aaahhh fuck." Was all you could say the moment you heard your door lock clicks.

You already know what's about to happen, as slow angry stomps come towards your room. Quick witted, you hide yourself under your blanket just as your door opens.

"Are you kidding me?!" Yeji was fuming as she approached your bedside but you're having none of it.

"You're not answering my calls or my text! If I hadn't called your workmates I wouldn't have found out that you're absent and guess what! Our anniversary is tom–... Oh." She was in the midst of lashing out but the moment her hand felt yours she knew it's not worth it to continue.

"H-hi." You weakly greeted and her angry expression changes into pure concern.

"W-what happened to you?" Her loud tone earlier was such a contrast to her current soft spoken voice at the moment.

"Hehe~!" You chuckled weakly as Yeji's eyes grew more concerned.

"Babe, you have to tell me what happened?"

"T-the thing is... I was hoping to finish a few extra work, before our anniversary trip so that I won't have to be bothered with work when we're finally together..." You answered.

"I guess I overdid it?" Ending with a chuckle Yeji gives you a bittersweet smile.

"Oh you!" She was holding her tears back as she threw herself onto you.

Capturing you into her warm embrace, you couldn't help but be thankful for how loving Yeji is. The two of you stayed like that for a good couple of minutes before Yeji finally detached herself from you.

"Now, forget the anniversary trip, let's just stay here." Yeji announces.

"B-but you're really looking forward to that trip-." You're about to insist but she really just silenced you with a single glance.

Yeji finally stood up and gave your room a quick scan realizing the mess that you're currently in, she sighs before giving you a disappointed look.

"What in the shit are you even eating?!" She asked as she collects the empty containers and starts cleaning.

"Mostly, fried chicken." You answered before trying to sit up only to be pushed back down by Yeji.

"No! You're resting there! I'll be taking care of you!" Said your girlfriend.

"What medicines have you taken?"

"How long since your last intake?"

"Have you been drinking water?"

"Why is there a soda can here?!"

"Have you even changed your clothes?"

"How about your bedsheet?"

Rapid firing questions came flying out of your girlfriend as she continues cleaning your room and you just sat there confused whether you'd be thankful or sorry that she's with you right now.

"Look at all this stuff! Babe?!"

"Are you even listenin-." That's when you've hit your breaking point.

"Stop."

"Babe, you're-?!" Yeji tries to reason out but you're not having any of it.

"Uugghhh! Babe, my head's already ringing then all of these questions you're throwing out, I can't even..." You can clearly see her scowling as you continue your defense.

"God, you sound like my mom!"

Yeji's movement was suddenly halted as you lay there in silence. All of a sudden the atmosphere becomes heavy and that's when you knew that you've completely fucked up.

"m... i... am..." She mumbled something but it's too hushed for you to understand at the moment.

"Yeji?" You called.

"I said, maybe I am!" She aggressively exclaimed.

"E-eh?"

Confusion starts to flood your mind as she just continues to clean your room silently. After finishing she then went on to the kitchen, you can hear utensils clinks as she works on something. A good few minutes past and suddenly an appetizing aroma tickles your nose.

The next thing you know, here comes Yeji with a steaming bowl in hand as she carefully waddles her inside your room.

You sat up as Yeji finally reached your bedside. She quickly pulled the bed tray and placed the dish she made.

"Say 'ah' baby!" You blushed and paused seeing Yeji trying to spoon-feed you.

"Ya!" Her adorably-annoyed voice calls you.

"I c-can f-feed myself." You awkwardly replied.

You shouldn't really be this awkward around her, specially this isn't the first time she's acted like this. If you're being honest you can say she'd always had this motherly instinct with her specially for you.

"Let me feed you baby!" And despite the wholesome act your mind never fails to drift into something else.

"Aaahh!" Finally letting her do her thing but your mind is still thinking sus-stuff and Yeji quickly notices with your sneaky grin.

"Don't you dare think of something funny."

"W-what?! You're the one who said you're gonna feed me." You teased.

"Yeah but I was only talking about the food." She answered but you're not having any of it.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Yeji just scoffs before she continues feeding you. Despite the fact that your mind is still running rampant, your heart is still melting from Yeji's love as she just continues her motherly act.

"Babe, I'm don-." You're about to say that you've been filled but you've suddenly got cut off by your girlfriend.

"Excuse you, what did you just call me?"

"B-babe?" Yeji gives you a glare before shaking her head.

"Call me mommy."

"M-mom–?"

Choking on nothing but your own tongue while your girlfriend just sat there with a straight face, giving you the hints and care before she took something out from her pocket.

"Take this! I'll get you a glass of water."

Now your brain's just getting fried at this point, your headache just keeps getting worse and worse but nonetheless you took the medicine just as Yeji arrived with a glass of water.

"Aww, my baby boy's so good." At this point you're just about to give up and let your girlfriend do her thing.

Especially when she suddenly helps you lay down your head down on her lap to rest. Even when there's a million things running through your mind, mostly pain, you just can't deny how charming Yeji is.

"How are you feeling baby?"

"Better." The two of you smiled at each other before you completely shut your eyes and rest.

––––––––––

"Nngnhhg!" You groaned, stirring awake after feeling a warm wet sensation along your lower regions.

With your head still ringing and a still aching body you have no other choice but to stay still and see what's going on.

"O-oh did I wake you up?" Yeji asked, as your blurry eyes slowly adjust ever so slightly.

Once your eyes have completely adjusted, that's when you finally realized that you're actually stark naked, while your girlfriend has a huge smile on her face and a wet cloth in hand.

"W-wha–?!”

You panicked as Yeji reaches for your lower regions once more. With all your strength, you dodge her hands and that obviously angered your girl.

"What the fuck?!" She bursts.

"What the fuck?!" You echoed.

Then there's nothing but pure silence as the two of you gave each other an angry look. With Yeji even raising her eyebrows.

"HUH?!" Your girlfriend tries once more to reach for you with a towel.

"HUH?!" But you're quick with your dodge.

"What are you doing?!" Yeji's temper has reached its peak.

But you're not gonna back down that easy. "I could ask you the same."

And once again it was a stalemate. You suddenly catch a glimpse of your boxers near your girlfriend's arm, however Yeji also notices this and quickly throws it away, perhaps if you weren't in a such handicap you could've gotten to it a little earlier.

"What the hell?! Babe–?!" You weren't able to finish your little fit as Yeji placed a fairly powerful slap on your cheek.

"Excuse your tongue?! What did you just call me?!" And there she goes with her role play once again but you're not really in the mood to argue with it so...

"M-mommy?!" With that Yeji gives you her brightest smile before going back to your concern.

"I was cleaning you. Look you're dirty right around here~." She then grabs a hold of your member who's a bit flaccid from all of the confusion.

"See?!" Just as then Yeji tries to pump you up to your full length.

"Uugghh." You honestly don't know if its your headache or just the sheer pleasure from Yeji's hand but you unconsciously moaned and that only encouraged her to double her efforts.

"Does my baby boy like it?!" She asked as if there's any other way you'd have it.

"Y-yes."

Another flash of her smile quickly gives you an idea. Since Yeji is already having fun. You should also have yours.

"M-mommy take your clothes off too, please?" You asked with your best needy tone that hits your girlfriend's soft spot right on target.

"I-is that what my baby wants?!" How the heck is she acting all shy after taking advantage of yout weakened state and still be cute.

"Y-yes mommy."

After seeing the eagerness in your eyes, Yeji decides to give you what you want, need, anything.

"Fine..." Her tone shifts into something more assertive.

"After all, a good mommy will give her baby's needs but in return. Mommy wants something back."

And there again, you're on the ropes with whether you actually want to continue with this role play.

"W-what does m–mommy want?" You asked.

"A reward." She replied with a devious smile, knowing Yeji that reward she's currently asking for, she'll get it, no matter what it takes.

"Shall we start baby?!" Yeji asks before she starts stripping gingerly right in front of you.

She's clearly enjoying you squirm naked on the bed as she takes all of her leisurely time just to even get her hoodie off.

In this little game the two of you are playing you've already lost before it even begin as your rod has grown to its fullest; "M-mommy, please!"

"Needy little boy aren't ya?"

Yeji's insults are like adding salt on the wound and rubbing it. The way she's rubbing her two fingers in between her clothed folds.

It's sinful, infuriating, and yet so fucking hot the way she's getting off on just her fingers while your laying there with your enraged member is out.

But can you really blame her? After all you're still sick and incapable of any movements that will not give you a jolting headache.

"Mmmhhhhmmm~!" God! Are those the harps of heaven or something. This jealousy of yours against those fingers that's currently sending waves of pleasure to your girlfriend is really starting to reach its wits end.

And after everything Yeji has said being desperately needy is the last thing you should be doing but to hell with that, your mommy is half naked in front of you with her digits circling her ever so wet snatch as you've finally reached your limit.

"M-mommy, let... let m-me help you with that."

A victorious look on Yeji's face lets you know that she has won. Then and there she finally gets rid of her damped underwear, tossing it aside to god knows where.

You fixed your position as she towers over your face, her drenched core is right above you, like a crop who's been in drought for so long. You laid there waiting for at least a drop to fall in your mouth.

But you've got the next best thing as Yeji decides to put an end to all of her teasing and sit right on your face. No sane man would wish to be somewhere else than where you are now.

As your tongue does its best to dive deeper into Yeji's folds, her moans grows louder and louder as well. The combination of her heavenly whimpers and her smooth milky legs proved to have been too much for you.

Perhaps you should've seen it coming, it was pretty obvious from that smile earlier that she had on her face as she inches her core closer and closer to your face but it's all too late as breathing becomes harder and harder, the lack of oxygen in your lungs caused you to panic internally.

You tried tapping Yeji's thighs only to have her squeeze your head even tighter. With no other option, you just did your best to eat her out to her orgasms.

Lick...

Bite...

Slobber...

You could've sworn, you saw the gates of heaven just as she climaxes. Her back arches before she lets out a long shaky gasps finally removing herself from your face before collapsing right  next to you.

"Haaa~ good boy!" Yeji's hands placed on your cheek as her thumb softly comforts you from the near death experience.

Meanwhile you're laying there trying to catch your breath, even being drenched in her juice. Yeji's satisfied smile was enough for you to forgive her as you finally smiled back at her.

"Now, I think it's time to reward my baby boy for doing a great job to mommy. Am I right?"

With no words to express your excitement you could only nod but that was more than enough for Yeji to be back in full strength as she pushes herself back up straddling you by the waist.

As your member brush along the folds her wet core. This elicits a sultry moan from Yeji and as you're about to pull her into a kiss. She all of a sudden impales herself with your rod.

And again your ears are blessed with her heavenly vocals. It almost did the trick bringing to to the brink of your pleasure, luckily Yeji stops for a second to adjust to your size.

"O–oh my big baby boy!"

"M-mommy!"

Few seconds has passed and she starts gyrating her hips.

"F–fuuuuckkk! Baby~! Holy fuck! You feel good inside mommy!"

Not even five pumps in and she's already a moaning mess. Yeji suddenly starts bringing her ass higher to the point where only the tip of your member remains, just as then she slams herself down, making you disappear inside her.

"M-mommy!" You cry out.

"Yes, baby boy~?! mhmm!”

"Kiss, please?"

Assuming that your mommy will be charitable, you shut your eyes and anticipated a little mouth to mouth action but instead you suddenly felt a sting on your cheek rigth after hearing a whip.

Your eyes jolts open as you see Yeji's disappointed look on her face. She even sigh as she just resumes her rodeo on you.

"W-why mommy?! Why'd you hit me?!" You asked.

"Because you're too needy! Plus, you mommy still  haven't given mommy's request."

Never in your mind you'd think Yeji will be complaining about how needy you sound but she is in control so you can't do anything about it and your body is still incapable of doing much.

"W-what does m-mommy want?" The desperation of your tone is enough to please Yeji, as she brings her lips closer to your ear.

"I want you to fill mommy up. Until then, no kisses for you, alright?!" You aggressively nod as she starts bouncing even harder.

Now it's torturous, you're currently laying there, your mommy bouncing vigorously on your length. Obviously, you'd want this to last for forever if possible but you also want to savour that lips of hers which are now pooling with her spit.

Turning things to worst it seems like Yeji is actually getting off more seeing you struggle to make a choice between relishing the feeling of her folds clasping your member or just succumb to the pleasure and give your mommy what she wants.

"Does my baby boy needs some milk?" Like hell you'd deny her nubs in your mouth.

Yeji lowers her torso towards you and her perfect breast lining up with your face. Like a predator with a clear target in sight, your mouth latches to your mommy's pinkish little nubs.

From a small bite, to a suck, to a complete feast, switching from bead to bead, as it sends Yeji into another plane, evidently from her songs of pleasure. She's so perfect and you're fucking blessed.

Yeji's nails clawing away on your head as she tries to get   some sort of outlet for her overwhelming arousal since her cries of pleasure that's flooding your room isn't enough.

"F–fuck!" At last your limit is within reach as you feel your balls tighten.

Yeji's not that different either as she increased the pace of her humps even more, which you're sure shouldn't be possible for any human.

"M-mommy~" You announced.

Your mommy responds by slamming her ass down so violently, impaling herself deeply with your rod and her walls closed in on your member.

"Y-yes! Ye–! Fill mommy up baby boy! That's–fucking good!" Yeji's final words as she herself reached her own climax.

Loads and loads of your seed pumping into her womb as her juice mixes with yours upping the heat even more as she finally went limp on top of you.

The two of you gathered yourselves, catching your breath and riding off of your orgasms. Once calmed she slids her way in your arms pulling it over hers for a spooning position.

"Mmhhhmm~!" A hum of satisfaction from Yeji as she closed her eyes relishing the feeling of your seeds flowing inside her.

"Yeji?" You called.

"Y-yes baby boy?"

"Happy Anniversary." You greeted.

"Happy Anniversary baby." She answered.

"Babe." You followed.

"One more thing."

"You didn't really came here because you're worried." Yeji was silence by your claim.

"You went here because you're horny, am I right?"  You continued.

"Maybe I am." Was all she could ever say.

[happilychaengs]

Killing Me Good

a/n: after like 3 weeks, i have found the inspiration to write. wow fun. this is more experimental writing and i don't know if this is honestly any good but if it is, it'd be cool to know

word count: 1,417 

park jihyo x gender neutral reader

angst

if you can: like, reblog, send asks, all that stuff idk

Nervousness bubbled inside you.

When your girlfriend - her hair drenched in the rain - brushed past you without a single word, not even a noise, and headed straight into her room, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread wash over you as you hesitantly knocked on the door.

"Jihyo? Are you okay?"

Silence.

You knock again. "Jihyo?"

You hear rustling behind the door.

You go to knock again, "Ji-"

"What do you want?" Her voice is laced with venom, her eyes glaring at you.

"What's wrong?"

Jihyo grips the side of the wall, her knuckles turning a pale shade. Water begins to drip down her wet hair, her biting her lips tight as she brushed past you again, quickly walking to the front door.

You hear the door slam from beside you as your heart drops. She's doing it again. Pushing you away. And even though you were no stranger to it, it hurts even more each time.

"Where have you been, Jihyo?"

Her tone is dry as she sighs, dropping her shoulders, "Out."

"Out where?"

"I don't know? Some bar." She sits beside you on the couch, leaning into it as she rubbed her temples with her hands, "Does it matter?"

"Yes, Jihyo! It does because I'm worried about you!" You glance towards the clock on the wall, "It's 4 in the morning!"

Your eyes meet hers, them being filled with a deep ocean of shame and guilt, "And I... I don't need you to worry about me, I'm fine!" And the more you hear her voice, the more you can hear her drunken stupor. "I don't need you bothering me every time I come home!"

"Is... is that how you really see me?" You let out a wry, pain-filled chuckle, "A bother?"

As you began to stand up, you feel her grip on your hand, "Wait... I didn't mean that... You know that."

You shook her hand off easily, "Drunk words are sober thoughts, Jihyo."

You step out of your front door, feeling the rain pour against you, your shirt beginning to stick against your body. You see Jihyo and her slicked back hair walking down the street, her fists clenched.

Your dishevelled hair became glossy as your face felt the cold and wet rain pour against it; your eyes glazed in a layer of tears. "I don't deserve this, Jihyo! I don't deserve the shit you put me through and still I'm here! So can you just tell me what's wrong for once instead of shattering my heart?" Your voice died down into a hushed whisper against the feverent rain hitting the pavement. "Please?"

Jihyo bites her lips and turns around, the rainfall masking her bittersweet tears. Her smile is melancholic, her fists clenched tightly much like her teeth. She can see the feelings swimming around in those beautiful eyes of yours. It's the look of regret, that she knows all too well, and just a smidge of hopefulness that she doesn't understand why. Why of all people do you choose her?

She was the person who had the most chances to hurt you and she has taken every. Single. One. "Why...? Why... are you still here, Y/N? Why do you put up with me? Why do you stick around knowing I'll hurt you again over and over?"

"Jihyo... what the fuck is this?" Your voice is weak and tired. It's the way you sigh as you show her your phone capturing the night before. She's kissing someone.

And that someone isn't you.

"Y/N... I can explai-"

"I'm sure you can but will any of it make me feel better about this? This is the second time, Jihyo. And I'm... I'm not sure if I can do this anymore. I don't know if I'm stupid for staying and... I don't even know if you love me anymore"

"You don't mean that..."

"Then... please change my mind..."

"Is it not obvious? I love you! That's why I put up with it all!" Your throat begins to choke on your own emotions, the tears running freely down your cheeks.

And she knows.

Because she loves you too.

But this is the only love she knows. The love that hurts. The love that rips out your heart and leaves you alone. The love that hurts you regardless of what you might feel. The love that pushes people away.

The love that kills you.

"Fuck off, Jihyo! Why do you keep doing this to me? You say you'll do better! You say you'll change! But you can't even make it to... to our fucking anniversary?" Your voice is strained from all the tears you've shed as you breathe heavily over the phone.

"We had a schedule today, I swear I'll make it up to you! I'm so sor-"

"How do you make up for this? You promised me over and over that today was the most special day to you and... yet you can't even find the time? Fuck you."

The call ends.

"Let's..." her heart feels heavy, her throat beginning to feel dry. Her fists clenched together as she avoided your gaze, "Let's break up, Y/N."

"What? Ji-" she couldn't bear to hear this.

And so she doesn't let you speak.

"I don't... love you." Lie 1.

"You can look now!" You take off your blindfold as your ears gets blasted by airhorns and poppers, a big banner held up by your girlfriend's band members.

"Ji, what is this?"

"It's your birthday today, right?" She beams as she pulls out a bouquet of your favorite flowers from behind her, "You never told me but... I have my ways."

"What? You shouldn't have... It's really not that impor-"

"And to not celebrate my one and only's special day? I'm never doing that."

"I never have." Lie 2.

"Look at us here!" You laugh loudly as your head rests atop Jihyo's shoulders, you pointing to the page inside of the photobook. "Wasn't this your first rollercoaster?" She jests.

"Well, yeah... but look at your face! You look more terrified than me!"

"Okay... to be fair, the drop was like two hundred feet!"

You nudge her shoulder as you laugh even louder, her rolling her eyes playfully at you, "No? It was like fifty feet!"

Jihyo flips the next page of your photobook as you smile, her whispering as she rests her head on yours, "We can agree to disagree on that."

"You know I'm right though."

"And deep inside, even if you don't believe it now... I know you don't love me either." Lie 3.

"So... let's not do this anymore." But what she really wants to say is, You don't have to put up with me anymore.

"Ji... what is this?" Your lips turned into a tight smile as you glanced all around your shared home. Lights dangled across the roof, the fragrance of roses throughout the rooms.

"I said I'd make it up to you. This is for everything. All the important days I missed with you. All the stupid things I did." She stretches out her hand for you to take, which you do gladly, as she brings you along to the living room. The walls are lined with photos, memorabilia, and anything and everything the two of you shared in your time together.

Her eyes pool with tears as she stares at you, awestruck at the love and memories surrounding you, "I love you so much, Y/N."

And the dread on your face, the humility, the sorrow. It's insurmountable.

Your mouth is agape but nothing comes to life. Your words are lost in the rain as you stared at her with your bloodshot eyes. Your eyes are glassy as your lips purse tightly together, naturally to stop a cry from coming out as she stares at you.

And the moment she meets your gaze is the moment it all hits her.

She's lost you.

Truly lost you. And this wasn't like any stupid mistake she made before. This was the end.

There was no more hope in your eyes. There was no more love. There's nothing but the dark and looming shade of regret.

It's the regret of choosing her- loving her. It's the regret of putting up with all the stupid shit she did. It's the regret that you didn't leave sooner. It's the regret of ever giving her more chances.

And her regret was to not love you how she should've because now this love was killing her instead.

[invisible-storyteller]

Happy Birthday, Mieczyslaw

Stiles & Claudia (~850 words, gen) Written for @teenwolfrarepairevents April Character of the Month: Stiles Stilinski

“Hey, Mieczyslaw.”

Claudia's smile was worn out and nervous on the TV screen, her messy ponytail and sleep-thirsty eyes depicting a woman who had just returned from a strenuous battle. The excited tapping of her fingers was almost disharmonious with her weary complexion, but the slight accent with which she spoke revealed her exhaustion-mixed anticipation. She looked absolutely beautiful, and so tragically young. 

She had been around Stiles’s age when this message was recorded. It was on the night his parents had taken him home from the hospital 30 years ago, but no one had remembered until they had found the tape among her old stuff while the sheriff was preparing to sell the house. 

Stiles had forgotten how her voice had sounded without the burden of fear and sickness. 

“You must be wondering: Damn, who the fuck is this woman? And okay, I might not have so many wrinkles now - although you did give me a few already -, but I'm not that old, young man, so don't get fresh with me!”

Stiles scoffed, almost not remembering how his mother used to be. Before.

“Anyway, Natalie gave me this sort of idea to create a time capsule, so here I am! Talking to you! Well, actually, talking to myself, 'cause there's no one else here.” Stiles couldn't help but laugh at that. “Hopefully, we’re watching this together.” His smile dimmed instantly. “I like to think that we’ll always have a good relationship, and that in twenty or thirty or whatever years, we’ll be laughing over how awkward and ugly I am on this video, and that I can scold you for calling me ‘ugly’ and say that you’re one to talk, you took after me.”

The image his mother had painted was bittersweet, and Stiles wasn’t sure he had been right in requesting he watched the video alone. But he wanted to cherish everything about her, just the way the camera had captured her, on the day she had become his mother.

“I guess I should talk about how I imagine you as a grown man, but I'll be honest, lisek, I don’t have a single clue.” Claudia laughed a bit self-consciously. “I’m just as young as you are, and I know that I can’t expect you to have it all figured out by the time you turn 20 or even 30. You can be so many things still, and the last thing I want for this message to be is some kind of a manual about what I want you to be. I want you to be nothing but what you already are, Mieczyslaw! Funny and stubborn - because you must have inherited those traits from me - and loyal and smart like your dad. I even bet you're braver than you think, and don’t argue with me, lisek, I’m your mother. I know better than you.”

A chuckle bubbled up from Stiles as he wiped at the salty traces of tears with his sleeve. He had missed out on his mother’s discipline as a teenager, and it was comforting if alien to experience it in 30 years' distance.

“I probably tell you this all the time, but I’m proud of you.” Here Stiles’s heart twisted painfully in his chest. “I hope that you’re happy. That there are people that you love with all your heart and that there are people who love you back just as much. I hope that you see the good in yourself, and I hope that you know that things can always change. And keep this in mind, lisek: no matter where you are in life, I'll be there with you. Always.”

Stiles gave a small nod that his mother could no longer see, and ached a little more for her to be here. To see him now. To know that Stiles was better than he used to be. That he wasn't that loud, unruly, annoying kid that drove his parents mad. That he wasn't that kid anymore who his mother ran from into certain death.

He wished she was here.

"Oh, somebody's up," He heard his mother sigh heavily on the screen as the raucous sound of crying pierced through the silence. "You're a lot to handle, you know, lisek?"

Stiles cast his eyes downwards.

“But I wouldn't change a thing about you. I love you, my little Mieczyslaw,” His mother said, and Stiles looked up in time to catch her blowing a kiss to the camera, “Kocham cię. Happy birthday, sweetheart.”

The video ended with a man's desperate shout for her wife in the distance and Claudia Stilinski rolled her eyes fondly as she went to turn the recording off. That was it.

Stiles sat there for a while, swallowing his sobs, before restarting the video. Halfway through the second watch, a hand landed gently on his shoulder and soft lips planted a kiss on the top of his head - a helpful reminder that he wasn't alone.

“Are you okay?”

Stiles silently sniffled for a bit, and then, with a tentative smile on his lips, nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

And he meant it.

[aro-absol]

Very glad you've jumped on the Koisenu Futari train, that show's the absolute bomb.

Do you have a favourite character and/or episode?

Yes, the show absolutely amazing!!!

Warning: Heavy spoilers ahead!

My favorite is probably Sakuko. I really like her energy and I had to smile every time I saw her being happy. Even if she is very bubbly and sometimes that might be a little too much for Takahashi, she does a pretty good job at respecting Takahashi's boundaries and never tries to convince him to do something he isn't comfortable with. Just seeing her makes me feel comfortable and happy.

I also like Takahashi a lot, of course. However, I can't relate to him that much. He seems to be weirdly indifferent towards Sakuko moving in with him (although that changes over the course of the show). His touch-repulsion couldn't be farther from my own experiences. But while I can't relate to him all that much, he is still a big source of comfort for me. He feels almost like my aspec big brother.

I don't really have a favorite episode but my favorite part of the show is the time between Sakuko moving in with Takahashi and Kazu (is that his name? I'm not sure) moving in with the two to look after injured Takahashi. It captures the slow transition of the relationship going from being purely a partnership of convenience to a partnership made of love and deep affection for each other. One of my favorite scenes is when Sakuko and Takahashi go shopping and Takahashi asks Sakuko to go buy onigiri. He wants her to bring him two plum onigiri and tells her to get two onigiri of her choice for herself. Sakuko also chooses the plum filling. Not because she particularly likes them but because Takahashi likes them. It's her way of showing that he matters to her. Pretty much directly after that, Takahashi lets Sakuko use a discount coupon (that he wasn't gonna use) to buy a coat she really wants. At first, he is afraid to have forced to buy it but after she reassures him that it was her wish to buy it, he is happy he could do it for her.

After that shopping trip, the focus of the show shifts away from the relationship of Sakuko and Takahashi towards a lot of other stuff. The relationship between them is still portrayed and growing but with all the other stuff going on, it was hard for me to keep track of all the little changes. Towards the end of the show, it becomes clear how much the affection and love of Sakuko and Takahashi has grown. Seeing Takahashi being able to open up about his needs and feelings in episode 8 made me happy. (Although it was bittersweet because Takahashi moved out and all.) In the beginning, Takahashi talks a lot about "probation" and "if we become family". At the end, Takahashi is crying because he doesn't want his "family" to end.

Seeing Sakuko's and Takahashi's relationship blossom. This was my favorite part.

Sorry for rambling. Somehow asks tend to do that to me. Besides, please excuse any weird phrasing and wrong grammar as I'm not a native speaker. I just hope I got my point across. And thank you for the ask, I appreciate it.

[thesixthcavalier]

I am insanely late to this party, but if you haven't yet read Experience Boost I highly recommend it. A delightful little webcomic that manages to capture so many of the nostalgic highs and lows of MMO play with friends and randoms alike. I've laughed, I've smiled, I mostly ignored the comments section, and I read the whole thing in a couple of days because I just couldn't put it down. Seriously, for a comic that ended more than four years ago, this is some seriously excellent stuff. It is a bittersweet delight knowing that there's not anymore to be had, but I loved every minute of what was there, and it's a beautiful journey.

[holywomandrowninginpleasure]

Taking One’s Lumps

Traditionally, leaving one’s home and life of crime behind would be done on impulse – under cover of night. Otherwise, one should expect a decision made under duress and through a hail of bullets, at least, that’s what storytellers would have you believe. But plants don’t really have much in the way of tradition, and Bisca isn’t exactly a fan of the night. More importantly, if there were to be any oncoming storm of bullets, Bisca would be slithering through the eye as it passes through the city. Thankfully, things didn’t come to that.

Like any self-respecting snake, Bisca went right up to Harsek and told him, in effect, she wanted to betray him. In actuality, she said “This town’s been doing me no favors (and while it’s been fun) I’ve gotta get out of here.” In Thieves’ Cant, the closest equivalent would be “I need to take a vacation,” which could mean -

“I’m in trouble and need to go into hiding.”

“I’m a liability to you and need to be killed.”

Both.

Similarly, to a snake, this was both an announcement and invitation of backstabbing. “I’m planning on doing this on such-and-such day, so if you would like to get back at me for doing it in advance, please do so in a timely manner,” is the gist of it. It might seem weird to announce when one is going to impede the other for personal gain, but it is tradition amongst most groups of snakes. That is to say, it is a tradition amongst most groups of snakes that last that long. If snakes did not do such a thing, there would be no snake dens, instead, one snake standing upon a pile of corpses – high and mighty, readily struck down. Those groups who follow this tradition, such as the Shadow Adders, report much higher levels of trust, even when one is planning on throwing the other under the bus.

This is because betrayal without notice is such an inefficient system – often times the victim loses much more than the perpetrator stands to gain, and that’s assuming it works. Announcing it makes it possible to both negotiate and retaliate. But, again, retaliation is often costly. This led to a cultural shift – from large scale knife in the back betrayal, to multiple smaller scale betrayals worth about a couple trade a piece; disincentivizing retaliation and leading to a majority of snakes just ‘taking their lumps.’ Occasionally, one would ‘take back their lumps’ by putting in a request for betraying the other right back to them, which disincentivized repeat offenses, lest a blood feud risk ostracizing both from the group. The current social norm is a twisted concept of betrayal, where a knife in one’s back has been replaced with an invitation to negotiate. Do nothing if you are fine with the terms, negotiate to try and see if there’s an outcome where both parties win, and retaliate if neither party can be satisfied. Obviously none of this applied when one was doing something heinous, like selling one (or many) out to the law – but the general cultural shift meant doing something like that was much less common – especially since the retaliation for it would come in the form of many snakes, not just one.

Much like Shadow Adders themselves, this system seems to be built on parts that are completely at odds with one another – a system that Bisca never really understood. The root of Bisca’s issue is that the system relies on presumption of betrayal, one common to snakes but uncommon to her. How do you teach someone to betray loved ones, when you yourself are the only reference? The answer is that you can’t, the only thing that can teach that is desire itself. Desire to leave this town, to be free of this concrete cage and everything that it stands for, a desire threatening to become stronger than the bonds holding you down. It’s a desire that the Shadow Adders knew well enough, they all suffered from it, unable to sever themselves from the fear they couldn’t make it outside this hellhole.

“We can barely make it in this town as is!” Harsek slams his beer on the bar counter. Drinks at the Toxic Bee were always a bad time at a good price, especially when one has to report to their higher ups.

“We can make it just fine without her.” Slaak wasn’t drinking tonight, but she orders another one for Harsek. “The insurance she provides isn’t worth her weight in bullets, and she doesn’t look trustworthy enough to find someone to sell us out to, not without damning herself.” Harsek starts downing his fourth drink, not wanting to respond. “But this isn’t about us, this isn’t even about her, this is about you, Harsek.”

“It’s about the Shado-” Slaak shuts Harsek up real quickly by splashing Harsek’s fifth drink in his face.

“I’ve made my decision regarding the sanctity of the group. The girl can leave when she wants, and the treasury has enough to spare for a modest going-away party – chalk it up to improving morale. But if you came to me for advice on how to cope with one’s hatchling leaving the nest, you’ve come to the wrong woman, Harsek.”

“A-Aye boss.” With the dishrag provided by the barkeep, Harsek dries off his face. With the water provided by the barkeep, Harsek stares into his reflection. Well, at least, he tries to – it is the worse tap.

“Take it from me, if she keeps doing jobs in that sate of mind, it’ll just be bad for her health – mentally and physically, much less a liability You can’t keep here here, quit your bargaining and just take your lumps -  I’m sure she’s already made peace with hers.” Slaak puts a handful of bills and coins onto the bar, turning to leave. “If you’re really worried about her, you’ll be here to say goodbye.”

 Normally, the Toxic Bee was completely empty in the middle of the day. Today, however, it is full of snakes – most of which were still recovering from a late night. The band plays a song about a flower growing through the concrete, climbing through the cracks in the city’s tallest skyscraper until the building fell apart – the flower left on top. A song rife with colorful metaphors, it arguably sounds terrible, but the target demographic eats it up. Bisca, for once in her life, shows up unarmed.

The snakes cheer. Everyone has something to say to her, even those she never really knew, or those she never even met. Congratulations and blessings thrown out like bullets, Bisca has to do the arduous task of determining whether to answer with sarcasm or genuine appreciation on a snake-by-snake basis. Everyone’s drinking – including, for once, Bisca.

“Wait, I thought you said we came to this place because the beer was good?” Bisca says, and the regulars laugh. The Barkeep, sighing, brings out a cake. Drowned with bright red icing and a knife sticking out of it, Bisca can’t help but laugh, the and the regulars at this point are roaring. The wall flower, of course, yells for them all to shut up. Of course, no one does. Everyone there’s too caught up in the moment, including, for once, Harsek.

“Mornin’, kid.” Snakes aren’t exactly known for touching moments. Not even when under the sway of alcohol. “Havin’ fun?” Bisca, however, is a great grappler, and about two Harseks tall to boot. As Bisca would say, I’ll spare you the sap. The festivities continue into the night; resulting in two broken tables, a 35% gratuity, one count of strangulation by flower, and countless tearful farewells.