#and I chose like the slowest way ever to do the colour

[rjavenuru]

He is very cool.

And I haven't even finished my own piece of them 😅

There is so much to colour.... 😭��

why would I give him tassels my hands hurt so bad

[keystone8379]

Side Order review

Ever since Octo Expansion, the Splatoon series has been shaking up its single player content every few years, I only really got into the series during 3’s release cycle but it must be refreshing and exciting for longtime fans. With Side Order’s release, the shake up was adding a movement shooter roguelike to the game, a very indie game idea and a very exciting one. I was so excited, I ended up playing a few runs of every roguelike I owned in preparation. So how was Side Order? How does it compare to other games in its genre? Let’s talk about it.

In Side Order you’ll be climbing the Spire of Order, one floor at a time. Each floor will give you colour chip which ranges from things you can get in gear abilities to more crazy stuff like your dualie dodge rolls having attacks, or your shots having homing. You’ll then take that buff into a floor where you have to complete an objective, either destroying portals, defending splat zones, pushing a tower, sinking an 8 ball, or defeating runaway enemies. There’s not many objectives, but the amount of different rooms you can get makes each floor varied, though the objective count is an issue to some people.

Personally, my biggest issue with Side Order is that there’s a lot of downtime, much more than any roguelike I’ve ever played…except maybe Kirby Fighters 2. Between floors, you have to watch an animation of Eight putting the chip you chose into the palette, you have to watch the animation of the elevator going up, you have to take the cage to the actual level, then after you complete the objective you have to watch an animation of Eight walking back to the elevator. This adds up a LOT over the course of the run.

That being said, when you’re actually playing the game, it’s a blast. All of the rooms have designs that can be tackled in a variety of ways, and when you start seeing repeat rooms, it’s very satisfying to improve at them, whether it be with more optimized movement, better gameplans, or even just a new build. This is really complimented by massive build variety, there’s a lot to find with synergies between chips, or unique builds for certain weapons. The game also rewards min-maxing in a really creative way. Most upgrades will yield diminishing returns…unless you max out that upgrade type. Firing rate for the blaster would go from 300% on the 4th upgrade to 1000% on the 5th upgrade, and it’s super exciting to see what each chip type does when maxed out. It gives the game a lot to explore.

There’s also a lot of little things during combat that I like. Several enemies either interact with the stage in a unique way, or can be interacted with in a unique way. You’ll have some enemies that will only attempt to paint the zone, or enemies who love the 8 Ball and will try to hit it at all times. You also have enemies that drop a top or spring that you can take advantage of. It leads to super dynamic combat. Since not all enemies paint well, or some not at all,  you’re really rewarded for having stage control more than any other single player mode. Since most enemies attack you directly, you’re promoted to push past the zone instead of just staying in it, which is what you should be doing in Splat Zones normally! The bosses also follow this mentality of designing for skill expression, but to talk about them we need to go into spoiler territory.

The slowest and easiest boss is Parallel Canon, an army of Agent 4s. That’s not to say it can’t be done fast, or isn’t interesting though, as clones will scale depending on what buffs you take. However, it’s the only boss that isn’t always vulnerable. Meanwhile, the ball has a small weak point that can be expanded by either waiting, or by pushing it into a bumper. It’s super satisfying to take advantage of its positioning to get high damage while opening it up as it constantly rolls away. My favourite boss from the DLC has got to be the tower though, there’s so much risk to juggle but it’s so rewarding when done well, whether it be running under the tower to get to its weak points quicker, or only aiming for the layers you need to destroy to win. There’s tons of room for skill expression and I love it.

Special mention to the tutorial boss and final boss for sharing mechanics, meaning you can’t be blindsided by the final boss’s premise like you can in some games. (looking at you Time Eater) If we’re going into story stuff though, the game starts with a great intro, it left me really excited to keep going and has one of my favourite songs in the DLC. 

However, this is one of the weaker stories in the series. The main plot is only made with one win in mind, so while the finale is very good, the pacing to get there is a little janky. I was also left with a lot of unanswered questions that Octo Expansion and Alterna didn’t leave me with, aside from the classic “is this a mistranslation” thing. That’s not to say what’s there isn’t good, Marina trying to help the victims of Kamabo Co. is very compelling, Pearl is a bunch of fun to be around, Acht is very cool, and Smollusk is a hilarious villain, even if he doesn’t have the thematic depth of Grizz, Tartar, or Octavio. There have been loreheads who really didn’t like the story but it didn’t bother me too much, except for 2 instances.

I know roguelikes have never really been known for their story, (for the most part) but I can’t help but feel like the first trailer for Side Order was a bit of a sucker punch. Seeing all this concept art for visuals and potential lore that didn’t make it into the game is a little upsetting.

The second big thing writing wise is, and I know this upsets me more than it reasonably should, but fuck man, Eight not having a personality in Side Order hurts. I know she got more stuff than Agent 4, but Eight was one of the most real feeling characters in the series. The mem cakes from Octo Expansion gave her so many little quirks, but there’s almost nothing from Eight. No poems and very few emotes. It’s especially upsetting because Eight was on Team Order but there’s nothing she can say about her situation. What Eight does get is really sweet, and it’s not a dealbreaker for me, but man, it hurts.

There’s also a few other issues like the lack of seeding or any real Heat/Ascension settings. Any challenges you want to do, like no hacks or single tone palettes would be self imposed challenges, and I do wonder if the game may get stale faster than other rougelikes. There also isn’t any secret boss, nothing like the Heart, the Collector, the Lich, or Charon to really push your skill and your build to its limits. It’s especially frustrating because it feels like subsequent runs seem to be building up to something but it doesn’t really go anywhere. But then you have moments like the Epic, Vibrant Battle, or how charming the elevator dialogue can be, and it reminds me how much I’ve loved being a fan of this series. I may have a lot of criticisms with Side Order but I did absolutely enjoy my time with it.

So, in conclusion, should you get Side Order? Well, if you take your switch on commutes, I think the answer is 100% yes. Trust me on this, I can’t tell you how much time I would put into the slay the spire mobile port if it wasn’t Apple Arcade exclusive. If you’re a fan of roguelikes and Splatoon, I would get it, this is the category I fell into and I had a blast with the game. If you weren’t already interested in Splatoon 3, there are probably better roguelikes to get, I’d suggest Risk of Rain 2 if you want a movement shooter. If you value story as much as gameplay or more than it, I would instead suggest Hades if you want a roguelike. If you’re worried about the genre’s permadeath being unforgiving, I would pick up the game, as Side Order does a pretty good job of dispelling that fear while also allowing for the high stakes that makes roguelikes so exciting. I genuinely think you will get more out of Side Order if you’re not great at Splatoon, as you’ll have more hacks to disable for if you ever want to do challenge runs. Overall I’d give it an…uhh…8/10, I guess? Can we get rid of number scores?

[captnbarnesrogers]

The 5 Times Harry Styles Was Just Harry

Pairing/Characters: Harry Styles x Reader Warnings: Swearing, angsty-ish, oral sex (FR) Summary: In short, Harry is sweet, friendly, protective, attentive, and loving. Word Count: 4.3k+ A/N: Hope y’all like this!  

Harry Styles likes to consider himself a simple man. Excluding the fact that he’s an internationally known superstar. But he doesn’t really like to take to that label. It shouldn’t be mistaken that he doesn’t love his job because he does. He loves to perfom. There’s nothing more exhilarating to him than to be up on stage, singing his songs and his songs being sung to him right back. He’s grateful. But he is, nevertheless to himself, just Harry. Human.

He walks in the streets of New York City, the cold wind of fall sneaking its way through his jacket, the barely-there-heat of the sunlight striking through his sunglasses. He stops by a nice cafe, almost dimly lit as it always was, and enters it. He stops just in front of the cooler, looking at the options of croissants, muffins, cookies and such. He settles on a blueberry muffin and a latte. He waits in line behind a girl who seems to be scattering her things atop of the counter.

“Sorry, I just- Give me a sec.” He can tell she feels bad although the line behind her wasn’t at all long, it was just him. She sighs and looks down, placing her hand on her forehead, “I think I might’ve left my wallet at home. I’m sorry.” He takes a step in front of her and hands the cash to the cashier. She looks up at the man who’d just paid for her coffee, giving him a stare which could only mean ‘thank you’. He nods as she puts her things back into her bag; a few receipts, a little black book, some pens and her phone.

“Hi Harry.” Cassidy the cashier greets, “Just the usual?”

“Yeah, thanks, mind addin’ a blueberry muffin with tha’?”

“Not at all.” She replies with a smile. The girl, who Harry’s paid a coffee for, waits for him to grab his order. She’s hesitent. Just for a moment though. As he walks out, she chases after him.

“Harry?” The wind blows against her face, making her hair fly just across it. Harry turns around to be met by your soft features.

“Yeah?”

“I just wanted to thank you,” you gestured to your take-away cup, “life savior, you are.”

“S'all good…” Waiting for you to answer with your name.

“Y/N, my name’s Y/N.” You lend out your hand for him to shake, in which he does, “How can I pay you back?” He pauses for a moment and smiles.

“Jus’ don’ forget yeh wallet next time, though, I won’ hold it against yeh if yeh do, I won’ complain.” You giggled and nodded as he walked away.

Harry is sweet.

As soon as you stepped out of your bedroom door, a doe-eyed, Alexis (your college roommate) standing just outside, a smile widely plastered across her almost perfectly tanned face, you knew she needed something. You stared at her questioningly and walked straight past her but as you expected, she followed you like a lost puppy.

“What is it Alexis?” You asked, pouring some over-boiled coffee into an over-used mug.

“So, um one of the frat houses are hosting a party-” When the words left her lips, you laughed.

“What’s new?”

“Well I actually got invited this time.” You raised an eyebrow, asking who had invited her, “Foster Harding…”

“The star quarterback? What is this? A chick flick?” You laughed, sipping at your hot beverage.

“Y/NNNNNN, pleaseeeeee! It’s one party!” Alexis grabbed your arm and shook it. You sighed and walked away.

“I can’t, I have to study for the in-class case study, Lex.”

“C’mon, Y/N, there’s booze, food, boys… and BOOZE.” She hugged you and squeezed you tight, “Pleaseeee, pretty please?” You sighed once more and smiled at her.

“Fine, we need to be back before twelve, okay?” She squealed and jumped around.

“Yes! Okay! You got it!”

By nine o’clock, you were both ready to go. You chose to wear some jeans and an off-shoulder top with some chucks while your roommate decided on a dress and some heels which you knew she would regret later on that night. The frat house, which you both agreed to travel by foot on, was not even ten minutes away, seven minutes if you walked at the slowest pace. The fresh breeze felt so calming against your skin which was only to be ruined by the humid air inside the frat house. Heat and sweat surrounded you both with a touch of extremely loud music. Alexis dragged you through the crowd by hand and led you at the couches by the stairs. Two men stood up when they saw you both emerge from the crowd. One man, with almost angelic features, familiar to you already. He held his hand out for you to shake, the music in the background becoming slow and quieter.

“Y/N, this is Foster and Harry, Harry and Foster, this is Y/N.” You shook both of their hands and smiled at them.

“We actually kno’ each other.” Harry interjects. Alexis’ eyes widen and looks at you.

“Really now?” You nod your head.

“Hi Harry.” You hadn’t noticed before but he had yet to let go of your hand. You pull away softly and smiled at him. He gestured you sit down next to him.

“Well, Foster and I are gonna get some drinks, you guys want some?” Harry lifts his red cup and you shake your head.

“So, how are you?” You ask, making conversation with the curly headed man before you. He nods and smiles, taking a sip from his red cup.

“A’ve been alrigh’, tourin’ an’ stuff is busy, but I finally get a break from it all and get t’visit some mates.”

“That’s good.”

“Wha’ ‘bout you? Been bringin’ yeh wallet around I see.” He points at your purse, dangling from your wrist. You giggle.

“Yep, lesson definitely learned.”

“Do yeh go here?” He once again takes a sip.

“Colombia?” He nods, “Yes, I do.”

“Wha’s it like?”

“It’s good, just normal college stress but other than that, I’m doing pretty well.” From then on, you both couldn’t stop talking but from what you could hear, you were the only one who was talking, and he was listening.

“Okay, I feel like I’ve been conned.” He looks at you with concern in his eyes, “You’ve been listening to me all night and I’ve just been running my mouth, I mean, I don’t even know the first thing about you except that your name is Harry.”

“Wha’ d’yeh wan’ t’kno’? M’an open book.”

“Well, who are you? Other than that guy from One Direction that everyone pawns over.” He laughs, his eyes slightly squinting.

“Everyone pawns ov’a me?” You nod, hand over your mouth to cover a laugh, “Well, i’s a hard question, innit?” He starts to gaze over the now almost empty fraternity lounge. He looks back at you and smiles softly, “I like everythin’ t’be simple, I like coffee in th’mornin’s, m’favourite colours are blue an orange… When m’not workin’ m’prob’ly talkin’ t’Gemma, m’sister, or m’mum.”

“You are a very simple man, Harry Styles.”

“Thanks, I try t’be.” You looked down at your phone, 3:22 AM.

“Shit!” You stood up and looked around for a sign of Alexis who, right now, was nowhere to be seen.

“Wha’s wrong, love?”

“Time slipped away, I don’t know, it went so fast, I have a case study this morning.” You unlocked your phone and began ringing Alexis who failed to answer your call three times, “Alexis is supposed to be coming home with me.”

“She’s prob’ly with Foster.” He gently put his hand on your shoulder to calm you down from your frantic movements, “I could walk yeh home? Could always jus’ find m’way back, yeh live on campus, yea?” You nodded, “C’mon then.” He took you by the hand and let you outside where the air you were met with was cooler than the hours before. You both start walking and Harry notices your hand, rubbing your arms to warm yourself up, “Cold?”

“Just a bit breezy.” You chuckle. He takes off his plain black jacket and covers your shoulders with it, “Oh, thank you.”

“S’not a problem.”

“How long have you known Foster?” You turn to him.

“No’ too long, couple’f years, met him through a friend, he’s a cool kid.” You nodded, “Wha’ ‘bout Alexis? How long’ve yeh known her?”

“We met each other at orientation day and then we were put in the same dorm room, been best friends ever since.” There was a comfortable silence when you walked up the steps of your dorm, “Well, this is me.”

“This is you.” He chuckles, almost nervously if you observed it right.

“Thank you for walking me home.”

“I’s’all good, I really liked talkin’ with yeh, talkin’ so much tha’ yeh forgot wha’ time it was.” You giggled.

“I should go inside.” He gestured to the door.

“Go for it.” You waved him goodbye and began to trek up the stairs to your room. You went to go scratch your shoulder, only to realise that Harry’s jacket was still slung over you. You gasped and began running back down, meeting Harry going down your doorsteps.

“Harry!” You called out, making him turn around.

“Yeah?” You took off his jacket, handing it to him.

“Your jacket.” He looked down at it and smiled.

“Keep it, give it back when I see yeh again.”

“What makes you think that we’ll see each other again?”

“Nothin’, jus’ hopin’ you’ll forget yeh wallet when yeh come by the café tomorrow.” You laughed.

“Okay, ‘til we see again?” He nods and smiles before walking away.

Harry is friendly.

After your final exam, relaxation washes over you. Of course, Alexis suggests that you, Foster, some of Foster’s friends and herself should go out and get drunk to celebrate. An offer you could not refuse after the stressful years’ worth of work and never-ending panic attacks.

You all start the night off at a party in one of the frat houses, aiming to get a little buzzed. When the buzz started, you all left to visit a nearby bar, the aim, by now, to get absolutely plastered. Dimmed lights provided by two lamps behind the bar and fairy lights scattered fashionably against the walls and windows, decorated the almost too-crowded bar. You followed Foster, who was holding Alexis’ hand, towards a table in the corner. You felt a hand graze your backside, making you shift around to be met by Chase and Leo, two of Foster’s friends. They were both seeming to be chatting to each other, so you disregard the feeling bubbling inside you. A loud cheer disrupted your thoughts and as Foster shifted to the side, you were met by Harry’s eyes. The buzzed feeling throughout your body left so suddenly when he smiled at you. Your thoughts were once again disrupted when Chase slipped his hand around your waist, making you flinch and almost lunge forward. You nervously chuckled and pulled away from him to hug Harry.

“Hi!” Almost to cheerfully, you slapped yourself mentally.

“Yeh look good, love.” He comments on your skirt, turtleneck and chucks.

“Thank you.” Chase and Leo suddenly and forcefully move past you to introduce themselves to Harry who gives you a warm smile and them a restless but friendly greeting face. Foster, Chase, and Leo move over to the bar to grab everyone some drinks whilst Alexis goes to the toilet. You sit down and face Harry who couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He notices your nervous jitters.

“Yeh okay, Y/N? Everythin’ alrigh’?” You nod, “Sure?” You nod again. Chase is the first one back out of the three of them. He places a drink right in front of you and his arm slings across your shoulder. Harry looks at the guy next to you, almost staring him down if you will. He felt uneasy around this guy, he couldn’t imagine how you would’ve felt with his arm around you. Chase pushes the drink towards you which was unusually bubbly.

“Actually, Chase, I’m taking a break for now, I’m feeling a bit sick, thanks though.” You push the drink away from you.

“C’mon, Y/N, don’t be such a party pooper.”

“I’m not,” you take his thumb between your forefinger and thumb and unsling it from your shoulders, “I just don’t want that drink and I can buy drinks for myself.”

“Whatever.” He says, taking a sip of his beer. You smile at Harry who was intently staring at Chase. You tap him with your foot, making him acknowledge your sweet smile. You stand up and walk to the bar. As you wait to be served, Chase appears right beside you, “I just bought you a drink, why don’t you drink that?”

“Not really a fan of vodka sodas.”

“Tell me what you want, I’ll get it for you, just go sit back down.” His smile was sluggish, a sign that he was beginning to be intoxicated. You shook your head.

“I’ll just get my own drink, it’s fine.”

“Why are you being like this, Y/N?” He slams his drink down on the bar top.

“Like what?”

“Rude.” You scoff.

“I’m not being rude, Chase, I just don’t want a fucking vodka soda!” Suddenly his hand was around your waist. He pulls you over to him. His breath smelling like beer and straight whiskey, “Chase, let go of me, you’re drunk.”

“You look so pretty, baby, you’ve been giving me the eyes all night.” Your palms meet his chest trying to push him away, “Come home with me, Y/N, I’ll show you a good time.” He leans forward, his lips puckered, and suddenly he was pushed away from you.

“She said let go, mate.” You hide behind Harry. His eyes were furious when the light at the bar shone on them. You held onto his arm.

“Harry.” You warn softly. You notice the drink Chase had offered you moments ago in his hand, untouched.

“I’d move away if I were you, man, this doesn’t involve you.”

“It does now tha’ you’ve tried t’kiss, m’friend when she clearly doesn’t wan’ anythin’ t’do with yeh.” Chase rolls his eyes and shoves Harry, “Yeh fuckin’ drunk, I suggest yeh go home.”

“Chase, go home.” You say firmly.

“Whatever, you’re a 2 outta 10 prude anyway, Y/N, you’d only be good for a pity fuck.” You feel Harry tense against you which made you squeeze his arm, gesturing that it was okay. Chase leaves, struggling to walk and as soon as he was out of the bar. You let out a big and much-needed breath. Harry turns around and caresses your cheek.

“Are yeh okay, Y/N?” You nod. He calls over a bartender who takes the drink away, “I knew somethin’ was wrong, m’sorry I didn’t tell him t’fuck off earlier.”

“You’re not obliged to.”

“But I wan’ t’.” He engulfs you in a hug, “It’d hurt me if somethin’ happened to yeh, lovey.”

“You’re too sweet, Harry.”

“Nah, I just like yeh an’ I care ‘bout yeh a bunch.” He kisses the top of your head. You pull away and look up at him with a smile.

“You like me?” He rubs the back of his neck and chuckles nervously, “I like you too, Harry.” He leans into you.

“Yeh okay with this?” You nod. He steals a kiss from your lips and smiles into you.

“God, that was good.” You say as you pull away before capturing his lips on yours once again.

“If anyone tries t’do tha’ t’yeh again, I’ll rip em t’shreds.”

“Go for it, tiger.” You laugh, pulling him in for another kiss.

Harry is protective.

It’d been a year after Harry asked you to be his girlfriend when you finally moved in with him. He was so happy when you said yes. You still remember the smile on his face and the way he lifted you up and kissed you all over. It really is true what they say, you don’t know a person until you live with them and up until you moved in with Harry, you thought you knew everything about him. But when you finally got to sleep in the same bed every night he was home, you discovered more things than you bargained for, though you were never regretful of it.

The door opened and your boyfriend, a man who was a sight for sore eyes, walked in and engulfed you into a hug, kissing your temple.

“Wow, you’re feeling extra loving today.” You giggle, placing a kiss on his cheek.

“Wha’? I can’t give m’girl a bit o’ lovin’?” You offered him a cookie which you had made that morning. He opened his mouth and you placed a cookie in between his lips for him to bite. He grabs the cookie as he bites it and compliments your baking, “So, when we first properly met-”

“At Foster’s party?” He hummed in response.

“Well, I ‘ave a surprise for yeh.” From the inside of black trench coat, he produced a brown paper bag. It was all too familiar to you. It had a chirpy bee on the front, waving ‘hello’.

“No way.” You grabbed the paper bag that was dangling in front of you and laughed in surprise when you opened the stapled bag. You pulled out the black and yellow tights and laughed, covering your mouth.

“I remembered yeh talkin’ ‘bout these tights tha’ night so I went on a hunt.” You jumped him and he wrapped his arms around you.

“This is amazing, thank you, Harry.” You pulled away from him, eyes flickering from his eyes to his lips. He caught on so quickly to your innocent little stare and smirked. He captured your lips between his and lifted you up onto the counter. He couldn’t care less about the fact that you squirmed when he touched underneath your thighs, complaining that they were “too big” or you were “too heavy”. He didn’t care. He loved every single inch of you. You felt his breath against your neck, making you laugh due to a ticklish spot, “Harry!” You laughed.

“Am absolutely not sorry.” He smiles against you.

“I know.” He licks a stripe up your neck, making you roll your eyes back. You feel him suck your skin, “Babe, I need to not turn up to my internship like I’ve been attacked by an octopus.”

“Fine, I’ll leave it in places they can’t see.” He trails kisses down your chest, your hands bunched up in his hair as you tremble in his hands. His hands were warm, his mouth pulling away from you as he lifts up your top, throwing it on the floor and going back to his assault down your shivering body. Your legs wrapped around his waist when you leaned back onto the counter, his lips still going down. You panted heavily when he rested his lips just above your pelvic bone. He looked up at you and smiled devilishly before licking his lips and pulling down your pyjama shorts. You inhaled sharply when he kissed your hooded nub before sucking at it. He lays his tongue flat and quickly licks up over and over again. You pulled his hair and cried out when his tongue delved into you, “Harry!” He rubbed your clit with his thumb as he flicked his tongue inside of you, “Oh god, oh fuck, oh fucking- OH MY FUCKING GOD, Har, Har, Har, I’m gonna cum!” His fingers dug into your quivering thighs, you gripped his hair tightly and cried out when you released all over his tongue. You panted and chanted out his name, his hand gripping your breast.

“Yeh so fuckin’ beautiful, pet.” You sat back up and kissed him passionately. He pulls away and whispers an ‘I love you’ against your lips. He bends down and grabs your top, passing it to you which made you look at him quizzingly.

“Don’t you want to?...”

“I ‘ave t’make a very important phone call but best yeh believe if yeh not on the bed an’ ready by the time I get back, tha’ arse will be red raw.” You kissed him once more before he steps out onto the balcony.

Harry is attentive.

Harry couldn’t have forgotten. You’d both been planning it for weeks while you were both in bed, whilst one was yelling out ideas from the shower. Today, there was not one phone call, one tweet, or one text. You couldn’t help but be a little upset. Harry couldn’t have forgotten your birthday. After all, he kept telling you it was the most important event of the year for him, “more important than Christmas an’ New Year’s combined”.

Harry dropped his bag by the door when he came in and sighed. You weren’t in sight and he just wanted to cuddle you. He called out your name but no response. He walked through the lounge room and through the kitchen but no sign of you. He stepped into your shared bedroom and saw you lying down scrolling through your phone. He slipped under the covers with you and wrapped his arms around you but you didn’t acknowledge his existence at all.

“Tried callin’ yeh when I came in, yeh di’n’t answer?” He points out, kissing your shoulder.

“Didn’t hear you.”

“Oh.” Cold. You were so cold towards him, “Tha’s alrigh’”. You kept scrolling through your Instagram, refusing to receive his small and soft touches, “Wha’dya wan f’dinner?”

“You pick.” He pulled away from your warm body and sat up. Confusion flushed upon his face. Had you had a bad day? Had he done something wrong? He did let you know he’d be out early to head to the studio. He couldn’t figure out why you were being so cold towards him. Next thing he knew, you’d thrown the covers off of your body and left the bedroom. He followed you into the kitchen almost instantly and he stood by the arch facing the sink and bit the inside of his lip. You filled the kettle with water and set it down to boil. You began to make your coffee, pulling out the coffee granules, sugar, and milk, only to be gently shoved over by your boyfriend.

“I’ll do tha’” He suggests. You shake your head and grab the mug, mixing everything together. He was so confused. He couldn’t handle it, “Did I do summat? Why yeh so angry at me?”

“I don’t know, Har, did you?”

“M’not a fuckin’ mind reader, lovey.” You sighed and poured the boiling water into the mug. You wanted to cry. He had completely forgotten.

“So much for the most important event of the year, huh?” You retorted, walking away back to the bedroom. He stood there in confusion. His thoughts interrupted by the alarm on his phone probably reminding him to call work or something. As he goes to turn off the alarm, his eyes widen, and he smacks himself.

Be home early to make Y/N’s Birthday Dinner – Don’t forget the Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food!

“Fuck!” He stood in the middle of the kitchen with a realisation; not only did he forget the Phish Food, but he had completely forgotten your birthday.

When you heard the door close, you let out a sob. This was your first major fight, the one that made you cry. You’d had smaller and pettier fights before, but nothing to the point where you had tears in your eyes. You get that he’s been busy and you’re usually super understanding, but you felt unimportant. You had no right, you felt, but you knew he’d think otherwise. Before you knew it, you had slipped into a short nap, tears still flowing out of your eyes.

You were woken up by kisses being pressed on your cheek. He tried to kiss away the marks of streaming tears from your eyes, but you couldn’t help but turn away. He hugged you tightly with the covers in the way.

“M’so sorry, lovey, m’baby love, m’so so sorry.” He whispers between chaste kisses against your neck, “I di’n’t mean t’forget, I promise.” You laid still on your side. There was a large space where you faced, and he used that opportunity to slide into that space and look at you face-to-face. He felt like a failure when he saw the streaks of tears again, “Talk t’me, lovey, please.”

“It’s fine, Haz, I get it, you’re busy, I’m so-”

“Don’t say it, I’m sorry, I forgot, I was payin’ more attention to m’job than m’girl.” He kissed you, smiling softly when you finally kissed him back, “I love yeh, baby love.” He pulled the cover off of your body after he stood up and carried you bridal style to the dining room. Your eyes widened and your covered your mouth as you laughed in surprise. You look up at him and he meets your adoring stare, “S’the least I can do.” He kissed into your hair.

“Thank you.” You whispered as he set you down on the dining chair where you were faced with a candlelit dinner. He walked over to the freezer and pulled out a tub of ice cream, “Phish Food!” You squealed, clapping your hands like a happy child.

“Yeh favourite.” He sat down across from you and looked at you longingly before telling you what was on the menu for tonight, “Carbonara and your favourite cake which we can eat with the ice cream later.”

For the rest of the evening, Harry was nothing short of his charming self. Stolen kisses here and there, soft touches against your thigh.

“I love yeh more than I could eva show, Y/N.” He leaned over and kissed you softly, “But I hope, m’more than enough.”

Harry is loving.

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[hazusreaderinserts]

Legacy [Naruto Reader-Insert]

You’re definitely a Yamanaka, aren’t you?

Family and Village secrets run rampant. All you wanna do is survive long enough to see Naruto become Hokage and to find out who you really are.

[Fem! Reader x Various]

Warnings: Long plot. Slow-burn. The slowest of the burn.

Crossposted on Wattpad and Quotev. Masterlist

Chapter 8 Family Secrets

You, uh, end up not meeting with the boys after classes and instead attended a summons by Father which he sent slightly before class ended. Delivered via Yamanaka Express (which meant various other Shinobi under Yamanaka employment).

You shift your weight a little on the uncomfortable cushion that they provided you. It's a little bit lumpy in all the wrong places and it itched. The material is rough and scratchy. Yamanaka Inoichi called you for an audience in the Main house and the first thought that came into your mind when you got the summons scroll is that they are suspicious of you. Brother no longer possesses the sword and is currently in a coma so their attentions now turned to you, the next in line.

You scan your surroundings, another thing Shisui taught you. Always have an escape plan ready. Or two. Or four. Doesn't matter how many, but you must always have a plan to get out of any situation that you're in. Four Chunin at all corners of the room, armed and ready to subdue you if anything gets out of hand. Yamanaka Inoichi, current head of the clan and the head of T&I sits before you, his expression deep in thought. Beside him is another man that you don't recognize. A younger, more youthful, more pleasant looking man. His eyes look cold, despite the smile on his face. As per usual, of the Yamanaka branch members. All of the Yamanaka shinobi are trained not to show expression on their faces. Ino is an exception. Father loves to spoil her.

You only manage to find one possible point of escape, although it is very slim. You'd probably have to take down one of the Chunin guarding the corner closest to the window as quick as possible and break free. Only if the rest didn't react fast enough, or if Inoichi and the other man didn't snare you with the Shintenshin first. You place your hands neatly into your lap and adopt a passive expression. You aren't going to show weakness in front of them. The collar of your altered Kimono presses against your neck and the belt around your waist sits a little tight on your waist. You don't adjust them of course, signs of any discomfort are also considered signs of weakness.

You see the way that Inoichi's hair falls over his eyes and the way his eyes cloud in thought, you know that he's trying to formulate words to say to you. After all, he hasn't greeted you at all for the past five years. Even though he said he would... "Father." You say to break the silence, acknowledging both him and the man beside with a formal bow, with your forehead touching the tatami, whilst seated. Acting first is a sign of subservient behavior. You'll work to get on his good side. Both the men's expressions didn't change but you faintly saw a look of approval flit over Father's face before it returns to his normal impassive one. "So, you have the sword now." Inoichi props his chin up with an arm on his knee. He's sitting with his legs crossed. Not in seiza, which you are in. He's assuming the dominant position. The man beside him stands straight, shoulders wide and feet apart. His muscles are tense. They're expecting something to happen. "Yes, she chose me. I'm not bound to her yet. " You keep your head lowered. The candle flames beside him flicker. "Hmm," Inoichi lets out a grunt of approval. He's still thinking. "It seems like it's time for you be initiated. Keirai, give her the tea. You, drink." The latter is meant for you. The commanding tone he uses as he said it is proof of that. Keirai-the other man, serves you a cup of tea. You actually don't know what it is, but you saw some stuff in the cup that looked like leaf bits.  You look up at Inoichi again as if to ask him, your expression is still blank. "Drink." He commands. And you do. You put the cup to your lips and swallow. The tea has a strong, earthy smell. Reminds you of the scent of a pine cone that Brother brought home for you once. All the trees around Konoha are a special kind of tree made from Hashirama's Wood Release so they didn't really have a strong scent? Not that you were smelling trees or anything, it's something that you notice when you're outside training. The taste however stings your mouth. It's nasty sort of bitter that stays at the back of your throat. This would be the taste of earth and herbs mushed together, you think. It doesn't show on your face. "Mind, body and soul. My mind, body and soul belong to the Yamanaka Clan." You recite, you remember the words to the pledge and you memorized it religiously. But it feels like the voice coming out of your mouth was not your own. What did they make you drink? You feel lightheaded. A flicker of discomfort broke through your otherwise emotionless mask. You could hear the metal of your blade whistling in the air and there is a dull thudding in your head. "You'll have our full support. Keirai will be mentoring you in clan techniques. He will be reporting back to me on your progress." Inoichi gestures to the man beside him with a fatherly smile, "Make me proud, daughter." Keirai merely nods at your direction when his name is mentioned. Bullshit. You call bullshit.  "Thank you Father. I will uphold the pride of the Yamanaka." You bend from the waist to give him a deep bow. You grit your teeth and squash the feelings that are rising from your chest to your throat. The concoction makes you feel a little woozy, like you couldn't say otherwise. "Don't forget to send my regards to Hakunetsu. It's a shame that he's in the hospital. He's a very skilled shinobi." The head of the Yamanaka clan lifts himself up from the cushion in one swift motion and walks out of the door. You didn't miss the weight of his palm on your shoulder as he passes you. The other four Chunin follow him out of the shoji door and the last one slides it close as he exits. Your fingernails are painfully digging into your palm at this point and your forehead still touched the surface of the tatami. Did he just attempt to blackmail you into submission by bringing up Brother?

Shit, shit, SHIT. He had outmaneuvered you. It isn't like you stood a chance anyway, your family is still under his protection and provision. But at least you were aware.

Was this what brother had to go through too?

It took you a couple of minutes to prevent the tears from overflowing. Your chest hurts at the thought.

Father also basically told you to your face that he is openly spying on you and Keirai will report your every move back to him if you do something out of the ordinary.  "Report to me at 1800 hours next Monday. We'll start your training then." Keirai says, then you hear him exit the room. You are left alone in that dark room, your body still bent in that bow. The sharp zzzzing of the sword still ringing in your ears.

                                                            ____

Your muscles feels extra sore. You sit there in the room, seething until your emotions subsides. It is already dusk by the time you leave. You squeeze the area between your neck and shoulder in a feeble attempt to massage the soreness away. The sword hangs by your sore waist, her weight a little heavy for you. Ino ambushes you with a big, teary hug from behind. "Oh my god, we haven't talked in ages! I saw Sasuke coming over for dinner the other night. Did he talk to you? What did he say? Did he say anything about me? I'm so sorry for bombarding you with questions but I need to know!" Ino babbles on and on, tears still shining in her eyes.

She gives you a quick once-over to examine your body for anything out of the ordinary but the only thing that concerns her is the creases in between your brows. "H-hey, what's wrong...?" Your entire body shook. She calls him papa. Papa. That's the difference. They both shared the same hair and eye colours. You don't. Yours didn't even resemble Mother's or Brother's. They're all lying to you. All the adults are lying to you and you don't know why. "We can ask papa if there's anything wrong with you, he'd hel-"  "You can. I can't." You just say, plainly. Your voice is shaking and the muscles in your throat are not cooperating. The fine string that is your patience for the shit the clan has given you, snaps. "B-but we-" "He spoils you rotten and he does almost anything you say! He gives you everything! OF COURSE, you'd immediately go to him." The volume of your voice is raised but strained. It's louder than you usually speak. Your fists clench again by your side. You are sure that your palms have little bleeding indents in the middle. Ino lets out a soft gasp and her expression is a one of wide-eyed shock. Her arms around your body drop to her sides and she takes a step back, "Wh-what do you-" "I had nobody! Nobody to teach me how to meld my chakra. Nobody to teach me basic jutsu. I had to learn everything by myself. Mother is busy in the hospital and Brother always had to do missions! Always! I had nobody and once I had somebody, they leave! ALL of them do!" You scream. Your eyes are hot and there is a wetness coming down from your cheeks. Your fingers immediately go towards the hilt of your sword and clenches tightly. You aren't going to draw your sword, not on Ino. You just needed something to squeeze or else your emotions will go out of control.

Well further than now. "Shisui is dead and Brother is in a coma! And all you ever had to care about is Sasuke! SASUKE! A BOY! While I had to struggle all alone, by myself. MYSELF! Father gave you everything! You didn't have to worry about anything in your life! He never cared about me!" Your throat is hoarse and your vision is blurry to the point where you couldn't even see the expression on the other girl's face. You hear a choked sob come from Ino's direction. "I c-care about y-you..." Ino's voice is thick with tears and snot. "When is the last time you ever really asked me before talking about yourself or asking about Sasuke?" You sneer at her over your shoulder, pushing past her roughly and you leave the Clan compound behind.

You run and run and you don't stop until you reach the hospital. Your heart hurts a little at the thought of shouting at Ino like that, but you just couldn't take it anymore. The hurt. The expectations. The Loneliness. Shisui's death. You can't cope. You just couldn't anymore. Not when you feel so, so alone. You pull up by Brother's side in a rickety, plastic chair, curling up with a spare blanket that you grabbed from one of the cabinets in the room. Hound is there, reading his book in silence but he doesn't question the fat globs of tears running down your face. You don't miss the gentle touch on your cheek as you cry yourself to sleep.

[scribeofmorpheus]

Opposing Elements Part 3 (Peter Parker x Reader)

Part One, Part Two

A/N: Ahhh! So I had waaaayyy too much fun writing from Peter’s point of view, as a result, we were gifted with a lot of rambling and playful dialogue! Not much reader presence in this chapter, but we do get to see things from Peter’s POV! (Also, I’ll be travelling for the next few days and even though I did a quick spellcheck I’m sure there are a few (many) mistakes I overlooked. I’ll fix that later. I just had to update this fic! It was overdue!)

Remember: Reader is a version of Felicia Hardy AKA Black Cat

Words: 2086

Warnings: Does Crime fighting and therapy multitasking count? Some angst.

(Gif isn’t mine)

Peter’s POV

Peter was perched atop one of the thousand fire escapes on one of the indistinguishable apartment buildings in Queens. His mask was lifted up from the bottom half of his face as he snacked on a Snickers bar. Legs dangling over the edge like he was a little kid at a play park. He was exhausted, but not from crime fighting, sadly. To his dismay, it was one of the slowest nights he'd had in a while. The most action he'd gotten was saving a cat from a tree. Twice! And it was the same cat.

He had patrolled many dark alleyways and shady corners the last month alone. He and Ned had been slowly working towards finding all the remaining alien tech the Vulture -Adrian Toomes- had repurposed and sold on the black market. It hadn't been easy. Tracking down alien technology was time-consuming and difficult, he and Ned barely had any free time lately. He was a little disappointed that he had to miss attending Felicia's gymnastic try-outs today. He really wanted to be there for her.

"Hey, Karen, anything?" Peter asked the AI in his suit, he was getting impatient.

"Nothing as yet, Peter."

"Great," Peter groaned.  He was in need of blowing off some steam. After everything that happened with Liz and her dad, for which he felt partially responsible, Peter had been a little on edge. It didn't help that Aunt May found out about his leading a double life either. She had sworn that if she ever saw him wearing the colours red, blue and white together, on a night that wasn't Halloween where it'd only be acceptable if he dressed as Captain America, she would ground him for life. Either that or she'd slowly kill him with walnut-date loaves. Everything was just so much more complicated now.

With Felicia's return, things just seemed to get even more complicated. He had missed her fiercely when she left, she had been his only friend back then. She was like this unstoppable whirlwind that set its sights on him one day and, for some reason or the other, she had swept him up and carried him away. Away from the bullies and the stolen lunch money. Away from having to think about his parents all the time. She was a force to be reckoned with, but at least then he knew what his feelings for her were. He knew what she had meant to him -and he to her. But now, now they didn't seem to fit so well together anymore. Like two puzzle pieces from two separate puzzles that once looked identical. Turns out they weren't.

To make matters worse keeping secrets from Felicia felt unnatural. When she had asked about the bruise he couldn't bare lying to her face. Not when they stood so close together and she hung her slender arm around his. So the best he could offer her was a half-truth. He had gotten the bruise from falling on gym equipment, the truth was he had gotten the bruise when some hoodlum in possession of a magnetic field generator weapon had flung a piece of gym equipment at him.

Peter sighed, "Anything yet, Karen?"

"No, Peter."

"Oh man! I have so much homework to do. Can't these guys just hurry up and take the bait? I mean it's not like I don't have a life of my own ya' know. Why is it criminals always show up at the most inconvenient of ti--"

"Peter, my scanners have honed in on a frequency. It appears we have some activity," Karen interrupted.

"Yes!" Peter exclaimed excitedly as he pulled the mask over his face completely. He stuffed the candy wrapper in his bag and webbed it to the fire escape. "Let's go re-poses some alien weaponry!"

***

When he reached the source of the frequency, Peter had spotted four guys, all heavily armed with weird looking alien tech. They were loading a truck with duffle bags. They had probably just robbed an ATM or something. Peter mentally scolded himself for failing to stop the robbery before it had occurred.

Peter crawled up to the ceiling from the wall to get to a better vantage point. Once positioned perfectly above them he used his enhanced vision to focus on the gang of criminals.

"Alright, one more score like this and then we're set!" Said the largest of the four, he was without a doubt proud of his winnings.

"Come on, come on! Hurry up! Don't want to be around when the fuzz shows up," one wearing a red bandana around his face hurried the others.

"Or that Spider-Dude," the smallest one added. They all laughed at him. Peter tried not to take much offence.

"Would you like to activate instant kill mode, Peter?" Karen asked innocently.

"W-What, no, no. Karen, we talked about this. No instant kill," Peter panicked for a fleeting second, keeping his voice low so as to avoid detection.

"Acknowledged."

He slowly descended down towards the truck using his retractable web sling. The four men were too preoccupied with stuffing the van to notice Peter was suspended above them. Peter stayed there, hovering above them for a few extra seconds hoping one of them would notice him, but to his chagrin, they didn't.

His second wave of impatience hit him and Peter cleared his throat to garner their attention, "Hey, not to be a buzzkill, but would you guys mind returning all the money you stole?" He quipped childishly.

The big guy pointed his weapon at Peter and fired off a pulse beam, Peter avoided the beam by somersaulting away and landing a few feet away. The surrounding windows of the building screeched in distress before they exploded, the resulting effect was a beautiful yet dangerous shower of microscopic glass shards falling to the ground. Peter shielded himself under some cover.

"I guess that's a no then?"

"You two-" the big guy pointed to the smaller, unarmed two of the group, "-keep loading the truck. We got this," confidence practically oozing off him as he urged his bandana wearing companion to join him in his fight.

If Peter hadn't faced guys twice as dangerous as him, he may have wavered for a second. The smaller guys (including the one who had called him 'Spider-Dude') hurried their efforts to fill the truck with the duffle bags.

"Karen, notify the police, someone's gotta return all that money," Peter ordered.

"The police have been notified."

"Who is he talking to?" The armed man with the bandana asked the bigger guy, who in turn shrugged. He seemed just as confused as his partner in crime.

"Probably hallucinating from all that blood rushing to his brain from hanging upside-down for so long."

"You're familiar with the basic physics concept of gravity weighing down on your organs due to the human body being upside down, thereby crushing your lungs causing asphyxiation which can lead to side effects like hallucinations or blurred vision?" Peter asked in surprise.

The large man didn't answer, he chose to fire off his pulse weapon instead. Peter dodged the energy pulse, barely, with another summersault. He then used one of his webs to swing around and kick him in the back. He went down easy.

"The bigger they are, the harder they fall," Peter said with a cool head and a touch of self-gratification. This was exactly the kind of mind-numbing distraction he needed.

In a moment of hysterics, the other armed man fired his weapon carelessly in a flurry of pulsing attacks. Eventually, the power was too much for one ordinary man to withstand and he was blown away by the very weapon he used to defend himself. Ironic, Peter thought.

In short time he managed to subdue all the criminals and webbed them up in a collective ball to the side of the truck. He was about to make his grand exit when his suit notified him he had an incoming call. The caller ID read: Felicia.

"Would you like to accept the call, Peter?" Karen's constantly calm and composed voice was always hard to adjust to after taking on a few criminals in a rush of adrenaline and aerial kicks.

Peter debated whether or not to take the call, "I- I don't know, maybe? Actually, n- no. I can't talk to her right now. But what if she thinks I'm avoiding her? Or worse, what if she thinks I'm a terrible friend for standing her up twice in one day. First with the auditions and now this phone call… No, I'll just call her and apologise later. Y- Yeah, that's what I'll do."

"The call already went to voicemail," Karen informed him too late.

"Uh, hey! Spider-Dude, are you… are you alright?" Asked the smallest of the four men roped up in the ball of webs. His voice soft and sincere. He was definitely the furthest thing from a hardened criminal, Peter thought.

Peter turned to him, he could feel his cheeks flush from embarrassment, it was a good thing he was wearing a mask. He never meant for anyone to witness his little inner dialogue of indecision with himself, let alone the guys he just strung up. Although, since they were all here and not going anywhere anytime soon, Peter decided to make do with what he was given. He sat cross-legged, facing towards the balled mass of men stuck to the side of the truck, he figured it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion on his current relationship problems.

"Okay so here's the deal: there's this girl right, we used to be besties back in the day, when we were kids, but then she moved away and things… changed. We both changed. But now she's back and at first, ya' know, I was happy, I got my best friend back and I figured things could go back to the way they used to be. Except, they didn't."

Peter used his hands as visual aids as he moved them about from point A to B to A again actively, the four men were forced to do nothing but listen to him overshare about his current predicament, "To be honest, I don't really understand it. When she's happy, I'm happy and when she's sad I get so exasperated because I can't help her. To make things worse, I have this whole other secret life I can't tell her about and lying to her, even by omission, is killing me!"

"Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" the small guy asked.

"Yeah, just tell her how you feel," one of his companions backed him up.

Peter let out an exasperated sigh, "See, that's the thing, I don't know what it is exactly I feel for her. Don't get me wrong, she's amazing and quick-witted and has a horrible habit of swearing all the time -which I find hilarious… "

"But?"

"But, my last relationship didn't end well and I was somewhat responsible for how things ended. I just- I don't want that to happen with her. I don't want to hurt her, I also don't want to ruin what we have," Peter's head hung low, he didn't realise this had bothered him so much.

"Maybe you should stop trying to control everything and just let her decide," the largest of the men offered. Peter hadn't expected someone like him to say something like that, he was at a loss for words.

"Peter, the authorities are closing in. I recommend leaving now," Karen informed him.

"I gotta jet, thanks for everything. You are all great listeners."

Peter left before any of them could say anything, the distant sounds of the sirens blaring through the wind.

***

Peter climbed through his bedroom window still clad in his suit, he had been so preoccupied with making sure Aunt May didn't see or hear him that when a lively feminine voice spoke out he had nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Spider-Man?" Felicia gasped in utter astonishment.

Peter whipped his head around so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash, "Wh-What? Who-"

Suddenly he realised his voice still sounded like him. Peter cleared his throat and deepened his voice to an almost comical extent, "Hey, this isn't my apartment!" He tried to sound perplexed.

"Obviously," Felicia said sarcastically.

She squinted her eyes at him, he knew that look, she was definitely thinking up a storm in that brilliant mind of hers. Peter had to find a way to throw her off the scent.

"Uh… “His mind drew a blank. Peter couldn't think of a smart way to try and explain why exactly Spider-Man was in Peter Parker's bedroom.” I’ll just-" Peter pointed at the window and seconds later he flung himself out of it, leaving Felicia looking on completely flabbergasted.

"What the hell just happened?" Peter heard Felicia ask herself in astonishment.

"Next time, use the fire escape," he spoke out loud to himself. "Oh, shit my backpack!" Peter shouted, his voice normalised, as he swung away from his apartment building back in the direction he came from to pick up the third backpack he had forgotten.

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As always: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I know I did! If you want to be added to the tag list don’t be afraid to ask!

Tags: @carry-on-ms-believer @itsjaynebird

Permanent Tags: @gruffle1 @thechickvic @notawarriorjustyet

[chronalrecall-blog]

((1-100 AHAHAHA))

WELL FUCK. OKAY. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

1. What is you middle name? My middle name is Raylene.2. How old are you? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯3. When is your birthday? January 6th.4. What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn. 5. What is your favorite color? My favorite colour is black. lol. i also like orange/yellow.6. What’s your lucky number? idk??? 7. Do you have any pets? I have two cats, one named Kiwi and the other is named Fiona. My sister has a pet snake named bee. And I personally have my own pet fish, who’s named Mike. ^^ 8. Where are you from? I was born in Las Vegas in Nevada state. But I grew up in the southern parts of California until halfway through fourth grade I moved up to the Northern parts kinda above San Francisco. 9. How tall are you? I’m like. Hardly 5′3. 10. What shoe size are you? 8 1/211. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I have one pair of black sneakers. they are kinda getting ruined though... T_T12. What was your last dream about? I had a dream that I got two new pet betta fishes. And I was struggling to find places where they could go because my tank is only for one fish.. And so it was like really difficult and stressful... And they kept like jumping into my pet Mike’s tank??? And I was getting really worried because they fish wanted to kill Mike and so I was trying to protect him... Weird dream.. Haha.13. What talents do you have? Nothing really.. ^^;14. Are you psychic in any way? No. Lol.15. Favorite song? Accelerate. By Courtney something... I have it in my playlist that plays when u go on my profile 16. Favorite movie? Uhh... Idk. Light’s Out I guess.17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who’s really sweet. Who really cares about me. Overprotective. A big dreamer. I want someone who I can dream with. You know? I want to be special to them. I mean.. I’m all for the view of everyone being equal.. But just.. Humor me? ^^;; I want them to miss me if I’m away. And even if it’s just a pointless “good morning” text, or “good night” text. just... doing small things like that would mean the world.. Haha.18. Do you want children? No.19. Do you want a church wedding? Nah! I really want a space themed wedding!! Hahahaha, i have my dream wedding planned.. ^^’’20. Are you religious? No.21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Not really.. Not that I can remember.22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No! Never! :)23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I met Tabitha St. Germain. 24. Baths or showers? Showers. Unless I have a bath bomb...25. What color socks are you wearing? Black.26. Have you ever been famous? No????27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Not really..28. What type of music do you like? It’s not a specific type.. Just anything that gives me a lot of emotion, for writing and drawing.29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? FUCK N O30. How many pillows do you sleep with? One. It’s like.. Really flat tho..31. What position do you usually sleep in? I’m not sure how to explain it. But I’m on my side a lot of the time, and it’s like.. It’s like I was laying down on my computer and passed out while doing so. lol.32. How big is your house? It’s a two story house. It’s kinda big.. Or maybe we just don’t have a lot of furniture..33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Air. Lol.34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes. I went to the shooting range a few times a really long time ago.. it has been a while though.35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes! I actually got a bow once for my birthday and I went to an archery range once. But other then that, I haven’t done it in a while.36. Favorite clean word? Dream37. Favorite swear word? FUCK38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? I didn’t sleep for three days once. I think technically four.. Or.. three in a half.. I guess.39. Do you have any scars? yes.40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? not really.41. Are you a good liar? yeah.42. Are you a good judge of character? depends really..43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? uh. ^^; i think i can? but.. i feel like it might just come across as offensive.. xD44. Do you have a strong accent? I have an American accent so I have no idea. xD45. What is your favorite accent? Scottish is pretty awesome..46. What is your personality type? INFP (’The Mediator’). if we are talking about the 16 personality type quiz that is..47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Uhm. It’s some jacket I have that was like 50 bucks...? i think..48. Can you curl your tongue? ya.49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie.50. Left or right handed? left handed.51. Are you scared of spiders? terrified.52. Favorite food? Pie.53. Favorite foreign food? Any Indian food is really good..54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy.55. Most used phrased? “Fuck my life”.56. Most used word? “Fuck”.57. How long does it take for you to get ready? A few minutes. I don’t really do anything special.58. Do you have much of an ego? My ego is smaller then a fucking atom. Lol.59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? succ60. Do you talk to yourself? Yes. Quite often.61. Do you sing to yourself? Sometimes.62. Are you a good singer? No..63. Biggest Fear? I’m afraid of someone very important to me dying. Or losing them in general..64. Are you a gossip? No. 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Uh.. Idk actually.66. Do you like long or short hair? I really love long hair but I want short hair >_67. Can you name all 50 states of America? fuck no.68. Favorite school subject? history or art.69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert. 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah!71. What makes you nervous? So many things....72. Are you scared of the dark? Not really!73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes. Lol. Mostly just grammar mistakes.74. Are you ticklish? No.75. Have you ever started a rumor? No.76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yeah noo... I dont think I’d ever want to be. ;;;77. Have you ever drank underage? ^^;; 78. Have you ever done drugs? Absolutely not.79. Who was your first real crush? OKAY SO LIKE. THERE’S THIS REALLY CUTE PERSON WHO I LOVE AND THEY WERE MY FIRST CRUSH AND AAAAGHH! I m E A N. We’re dating now!!! But they were definitely my first crush!! i love them lol >_80. How many piercings do you have? None! 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ Yaaa82. How fast can you type? Well... I got 80 words per minute at my slowest pace... Uhmm...And i guess. my typing beats 93% of most people.. Ahaha.. And at school I’ll be typing normally and people will go like.. “You type really fast!” ... so i’m assuming... i type... pretty slow. lol. jk.83. How fast can you run? I can run really fast for short distances.84. What color is your hair? Naturally brown, but dyed black.85. What color is your eyes? Brown.86. What are you allergic to? Nothing actually.87. Do you keep a journal? No.88. What do your parents do? My dad works for Cisco, some technology based company... And my mom works for retail. that’s as much as i know though.89. Do you like your age? No.90. What makes you angry? Having to repeat myself. 91. Do you like your own name? My legal name I do not like... But I like the names I give myself. ^^ Like Cas, or Lena.92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? i dont want kids ;;93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? neither..94. What are you strengths? I can be very determined sometimes.. depending..95. What are your weaknesses? too many to list... @_@96. How did you get your name? I chose the names I like. 97. Were your ancestors royalty? I dont know actually.98. Do you have any scars? Yeah.99. Color of your bedspread? Gray.100. Color of your room? the walls are beige like.. and the floor is like brown..

[tinkerbelljayne]

I absolutely loved this race so I’m gonna get the big fat negative out the way with – the toilet situation at the start line was absolutley ridiculous.

*Leans back, sips tea, crosses legs and prepares to have one hell of a rant*

There are four waves, each wave a different colour and I was purple, the last wave (ie. the slowest group). Us purples had quite the walk to the start line. There was not only a 10 minute walk to our, let’s call it, our ‘pen’, but a further 10 minute walk from the pen to the start line (although I didn’t know this at the time). This was to give the other three waves a chance to set off before us slow coaches reached the start line for our scheduled start time of 9.30am.

As all the runners from all the waves queued for the toilets in the baggage drop-off area, a lady on a speaker began telling us not to queue for these toilets but to head to our designated pens, where there are “80-100 more toilets available”.

80 more toilets? What am I wasting my time here for? So, desperately needing a piss – which seemed to be the theme of the weekend so far as all I’d done since I arrived in Ireland is need a a bloody wee due to consuming so much water – I toddled off to the purple area.

But when I got there, I was absolutely devastated to see that there were not 100 toilets, more like 10! And the crowd of hundreds of people standing around in front of me wasn’t actually a crowd of people, it was a toilet queue, one big enough to resemble the opening of a new ride at Alton Towers!

It was too late to go back to the other toilets. I had no choice but to wait.

50 minutes queuing for the loo (yes 50 minutes!) meant I was one of the last 15 people to cross the start line out of 16,000. As the clock ticked closer to 9.30am, many of my fellow runners gave up queuing and headed to the start line. But those of us absolutley determined to go to to the toilet (aka those of us with weak bladders who were about to piss our pants at any moment) kept queuing and waiting for a portaloo to become available. As more and more people nervously darted for the start line grumbling ‘sod this’, the quieter and quieter my now not-so-atmospheric purple pen became. But there was no way I was starting my marathon with a bladder full of pee.

By the time I exited a stinky loo, having pissed like a race horse, there was hardly anyone around, not even the girl I’d befriended in the queue who I thought would wait for me because we bonded over snacks.

As I began my run at a rather late 9:44am, there were no crowds cheering me on, no big cardboard signs, no DJ throwing out tunes; it was like a scene from a zombie move. Almost everyone had vanished, there were abandoned jackets everywhere and half empty water bottles rolling in the wind like tumbleweeds. Unlike the cheering crowds at the Paris marathon six months earlier, there were just a few passers-by giving me a little slow clap as I began mile one of 26.2.

Whilst having the empty space to run at a good pace was a big bonus (at Paris my first mile was incredibly slow due to actual human traffic) it felt eerily quiet. And I didn’t like the fact that if I didn’t catch up with my fellow runners that I could potentially be the one of the last to cross the finish line. I wanted to be alongside them, I wanted the race atmosphere, I needed it. This need must have lead me to subconsciously pick up my pace and after no more than a few minutes, I was reaching my fellow purple runners who had all started before me.

(I actually had no idea that despite being one of the last 15 runners to start, throughout my 26.2 miles I would overtake nearly 4000 runners as I finished in 12,107th place out of nearly 16000 participants *pats herself on the back*)

In no time at all I was comfortably snuggled into the Dublin Marathon atmosphere and surrounded by other runners. Phew!

Despite running at a quicker pace than usual at the start, I didn’t feel too tired or like I had peaked too soon, I felt just right. The weather was lovely – bright and sunny and a cool 14 degrees. With the sun shining and with the lovely Irish runners all being in such high spirits (so much chanting and constant encouragement for each other) it was impossible not to absolutely love this run. I had a full on runners high at mile seven as I ran under the blue sky, passing a beautiful lake, gorgeous sky high trees, one of my favourite Chemical Brothers tracks beating in my ears; my feet simply pounding the pavements to the rhythm. I felt blissfully happy and unusually energised.

During my training the second time around I’d found it much harder to reach the autopilot stage. For me it’s usually around mile four or five and only continues upto to mile eight or nine. When it switches off, you have to really push yourself. But this time I managed to run on auto-pilot from around mile three until mile 10, where three of my friends where waiting, with banners!

I was chuffed to see them, although not so chuffed when I realised they were stood waiting at the top of a hill and I knew there was no way I could walk it, not when I had supporters waiting in the cold. To be honest I was was so excited to see them that I sprinted to the top (the only hill I managed to sprint). Pretty much as soon as I got to them I was offloading things I didn’t need anymore; it was goodbye jacket, goodbye scarf and I also decided to abandon some peanut m&m’s that my tastebuds were just not hankering for.

My friends asked how I was feeling and I remember saying “okay actually, I don’t feel too tired and I haven’t taken an energy gel yet”. I took a quick pic of them and then was off on my way again, promising to meet them at the finish line. But no sooner had that sentence come out my mouth and I was faced with some serious hills. Runners who do trail runs or who are used to hilly courses might not have found them that bad, but I rarely run hills. So this was hard for me. There is one in my local park and I hate it – it kills me every time. Fortunately these hills didn’t actually kill me, what got me through them was knowing that what goes up, must come down and I managed to do every single hill at a steady pace.

Shortly after mile 13 when I hit the half way point, I had that knot in my stomach when I realised I’d have to do what I just did all over again. And yet still I didn’t feel the need for an energy gel. I did notice that the food I was struggling to digest a few hours ago had well and truly been digested and I felt a little hungry, so I avoided the gels packed in my bumbag and took out some skittles instead. These honestly really help me. It’s a sweet sugary little fix that gives me a lovely boost of energy even if it is only short.

Still feeling fairly okay (obviously very tired but nowhere near stopping point) and having consumed my skittles, I decided to look at my Fitbit for the first time, which was timing me. As I peered down at my wrist I was quite surprised. According to my watch I was actually doing okay for time, much better than I’d anticipated. Although my previous record was 04:47:17, I was aiming this time round for 05:30:00 (due to my lack of training and being ill). I realised that if the race continued to go as well as it had done so far, then I could actually be on for a PB, to do that I needed to cross the finish line in 04:47:16 or under. And just over half way I was on a time of 02:16:22.

But I also knew that just like during my 19 mile practice run a few weeks ago, I could crash and burn at any point, that I might have to stop all together, that if the pain that came during my 19 miler returned to my legs or my hips, that it could even be game over.

But I could try, couldn’t I?

  During Paris, the organisers gave out pieces of banana and orange. The orange was a game-changer, it’s incredible what a slice of it can do when your running. It’s so refreshing and revitalising. Unfortunately the Dublin Marathon doesn’t give out any kind of food or snacks, only water and Lucozade. But thankfully the people of Dublin do! Stood outside their houses, they hold out boxes of Haribo sweets, skittles, Jaffa cakes, bananas – AND ORANGES! You have no idea how much I wanted to cry when a little girl at mile 15 was stood, looking so adorable and angelic in a pretty dress, with a huge tub of orange slices. I ran up to her and called her my angel, grabbing two slices, lobbing them into my mouth one at a time like mouth guards, and sucked the life out of them. Across the next six miles I was able to suck on five more pieces of orange, each stranger feeding me not only pieces of orange but words of encouragement “go on girl, your doing so well, your incredible”.

I honestly cannot express how wonderful the crowds and supporters were, from cheering us all on and telling us how well we are doing, to handing out refreshments just because they wanted to help, to holding up some of the most brilliant signs I’ve ever seen (including a chap at mile 24 holding up a sign saying ‘My arms are killing me.’) I must have high fived about 20 people and I hit 4 different ‘touch here to power up’ signs – they actually work!

For some reason the whole of my run up until mile 19 felt like it had gone very quick. Obviously not quick quick, but it hadn’t dragged. But mile 19 was the point I got to when I really started to struggle. I’d needed a wee at around mile 18 and so had popped to the loo, and as I had began running again I realised how absolutely knackered my body felt. I’d already had plenty of water, plenty of Lucozade, and I couldn’t face anymore skittles. As I felt myself slowing down and my chances of a PB slipping from me, I pulled out an energy gel.

I went with Clif energy gels this time after being a little disappointed with Stealth in Paris. And despite not initially liking the citrus flavour on my training runs, I just could not face the sickly overpowering taste of the chocolate or the espresso ones, so I actually chose my least favourite and went for the citrus. At the next water stop I grabbed a bottle to help down the thick liquid, only I couldn’t open the dam thing. The tab you pull to open the wrapper was somehow pulled off by my sweaty hand and I had to use my teeth. This was difficult to say the least. The label on the back was transferring to my hand and face like a cheap tattoo transfer due to beig so sweaty and I had to keep wiping it off. But eventually I managed to pierce a small whole in the sachet and squeeze some into my mouth. The whole was so small and so painfully difficult to get gel out of though – and I was on a pretty tight schedule – I probably only consumed about half of it before I tossed it away.

But half was enough.

Somewhere in between mile 22 and 23 the gel, along with one last cup of Lucozade, had well and truly kicked in! Despite feeling super tired and in pain, I started speeding up and overtaking runners, dodging in and out of them like I was in a TV car chase. Throughout most of my race I had been running behind the 5 hour pace makers who all had giant red balloons tied to them, floating above so us runners could see them. Those b***** balloons. I felt like I’d been chasing them for most of my run, I nearly overtook them at mile 18 but needed the loo. But at mile 23 I finally ran past them. Knowing I had started the run about 10 minutes after them and that I was now overtaking them, I knew I must be soooo close to getting a PB.

But my burst of energy didn’t quite last the rest of the race. I can’t even begin to describe how painful that last mile was!

My feet were hurting, me legs were hurting, I could feel myself losing my breath. I had no idea how I was even running anymore, let alone how I was going to finish the last mile. You’d think mile 26 would be the easiest bit- it’s nearly over, It’s easy, right?

Nope. It’s horrifyingly painful and it feels like the longest mile of your life. Everytime I turned a corner and I didn’t see the finish line I wanted to cry. I was so close to stopping, but I just told myself ‘it will be over soon.’ I finally saw a sign saying ‘2k to go’. 2k – thats nothing. And yet it dragged soooooo much. The crowds got bigger and bigger, “your nearly there” they shouted, yet there wasn’t a finish line in sight. This was the worst 2k of my entire life – I had no energy left, I was in pain, I so badly wanted to just stop and walk it. But deep down I knew there was no way I was walking across that finish line. I’m so stubborn. At one point I thought I could feel one of my toe nails coming off, but I still kept on running.

As me and my surrounding runners turned one final corner, sure enough the finish line came in sight. I wanted to cry. It still looked so far away. But I just continued to tell myself “it will be over soon, it will be over soon, it will be over soon.” I quickly glanced at my Fitbit and could see I was on around 04:45. I couldn’t let it get to 04:47. I couldn’t. It was time to speed up.

It took every ounce of strength to move my body faster, and I still don’t know how I did it, but somehow I started sprinting towards that finish line. My body ached, especially my feet, my breathing was chaotic, at one point I felt like I actually couldn’t breathe. I had tears in my eyes as I realised I was literally steps away. And suddenly I was crossing it, suddenly I was on the other side of the line. It was over.

Did I really just do that? How did I do that? was all I could think. I actually felt faint and tried to lean on a railing before being ushered away by staff. Everything felt like a dream. In fact I felt like I was in shock. I limped towards man who placed a medal around my neck and congratulated me. I wanted to cry but I felt like I had no energy. I stumbled further along where I was given a T-shirt, I should have grabbed a medium, but in my haze, I just took a small from the women handing them out. I was given a plastic bag and inside I saw a bottle of water and Lucozade and quickly grabbed them both and began to down them.

Then I felt my phone vibrate. It was my Dublin Marathon app. My hands shaking, I swiped my phone open and saw the alert telling me I had completed the marathon…

…in 04:46:32.

I had a new PB.

I literally burst into tears!

I had doubted myself so much. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to do it in less than five hours, let alone achieve a PB. I’d only shaved off around a minute, but just weeks earlier I thought I was going to have to pull out all together, so the fact I not only ran it, finished it, and got an even better time, was incredible. I felt so unbelievably proud of myself.

It turns out a) muscle memory is a real thing and god bless my chunky legs for basically being amazing and remembering how to carry me all that way without giving up and b) I have some serious determination in me, like serious serious serious determination – something I am very proud of. My training may not have gone exactly the way it had, but I didn’t let myself down and I worked hard in that last month to really look after my body. And it worked. It really did.

And yes, I’m already planning my next one. In fact I’ve got three more in the pipe line, so watch this space!

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Running the 2017 Dublin Marathon I absolutely loved this race so I’m gonna get the big fat negative out the way with - the toilet situation at the start line was absolutley ridiculous.