#and I can't entertain all the variables. I can never know what the right path will be just like I can never know what the right path was
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mum is dead set on putting a positive, godly spin on my innate thirst for blood and righteous vengeance but she isn't down with violence so all I get are vague "I know God will use you" platitudes which is abt as close as she can get to supporting me without condoning murdering a billionaire
#mine#had a weird heart to heart w her#I feel better#it took a long time to get to the good stuff but it did happen#I guess sometimes I gotta go thru the uncomfy dialogue just to get my guard down enough to be truly vulnerable#and by sometimes I do mean p much always#at the end of the talk mum jokingly said it's a good thing God chose me to be me instead of someone else bc I'm exhausting#and I v flippantly said that souls aren't interchangeable so there weren't a lot of other options#and she said I could've been me at a different point in time like during women's suffrage#and I was like yeah ig. perhaps I would've been more aligned with womanhood if that were the case#bc yanno my nonbinary identity is based on my present experience. perhaps a different experience would leave me a different gender#anyway I quickly followed up that I don't entertain what ifs so I don't want to think abt it for too long#and mum was like yanno you can do that w your worries now#bc some of stuff that's in the present is actually a what if too#like I'm stressed abt school bc I'm behind and I got three choices there I need to decide and so many variables for each one#and mum was right. that's not the present. that's a future what if#and I can't entertain all the variables. I can never know what the right path will be just like I can never know what the right path was#I Don't feel good thinking about it and whatever happens I won't be able to backtrack so why would I waste time now
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Emotional St. Louis wedding film at Grant's Farm will make you cry {groom cries}
Emotional St. Louis wedding film at Grant's Farm will make you cry {groom cries}
here we go there's a photo in the letter you are my bucket list it's pretty adorable when did you have time to do that Oh mine's definitely longer really like that it oh my supposed to read all this okay my darling Christina my beautiful wife to be I love you with all my heart and soul you are my best friend my number one my everything dear Jeff to say that I'm marrying the love of my life is an understanding you're my best friend biggest supporter favorite fishing buddy and the greatest father to our four-legged son wall you give me meaning and purpose you make me want to be a better man a loving husband and an unbelievable father the love of your family is truly inspiring and it instills the utmost confidence in me of the family we are starting today I can only imagine how hard it was to go through the loss of your father as a kid however I see on a daily basis how it is made you a stronger woman and brought you your brothers one-of-a-kind mother closer as a family it amazes me how our paths have crossed and I truly believe my dad was there every step of the way gotta meet you I wish your dad could see you now I wish I could shake his hand and thank him for the most precious gift of my life Christina I can't believe it I love you so much I know our dad would be extremely proud of you and welcome Jeff with open arms and I know with all her brothers around scoring you and Mom and Dad was also in the room with us we were so proud an honor to see this happening tomorrow and privileged Jeff do you light up her eyes and you certainly are the reason why Christina is always smiling Christina I've never seen you happier I'm so excited to stand by you tomorrow when you married the love of your life thank you for being the most amazing man in my life as I become your wife I promise to love you unconditionally for the rest of my life promise to always be your biggest advocate and one day I promise to be an amazing mother to our children and instill in them values and beliefs and our parents imparted on us I can't wait to call you my husband and start this journey together I love you I cannot wait to make more memories with you to travel more to smile more to laugh more to cry more all with you I love you with all my heart and soul here's Robert Jack well he nailed it friends and family we gather on this day to celebrate this moment with Jeff and Christina are joined together as husband and wife when I request jr. resided here nay on the st. Louis Cardinals baseball team one night he was entertaining that baseball team of one of the Cardinals rive setting up this is such an amazing place you really need to open it to public and so after much discussion they did just back in 1954 grants are open to the public for the very first time you think you know it'll be no you think you've got everything under control everything under control we used to wonder who you would marry when we would meet them...
See more here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb7JB753sBs
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