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✨Toxicity✨: What would have happened if you stayed?
Helloo. So this is going to be for anyone who feels in two minds about their decision to walk away from a situation.
Sorry in advance, the piles are so long! I really meant to be more succinct. So, grab a snack or break up the reading ahah 😅.
This can be used for any kind of situation: professional, romantic, platonic, etc. Options are left to right. Hope it resonates :)
For the collective: P.S.I took time out to do a guided meditation to connect with my intuition. So some of you may benefit from that. Some personal messages came through for me as well. So your guides probably want to connect with you too. I used a guided meditation on YouTube but feel free to do whatever resonates best with you.
Without further ado 🙇♀️🎩 ...
Pile 1
**TW: Substance Abuse**Off the bat: So before I even really began the reading, I was channeling Hey There Delilah by Plain White T's. So idk if that is relevant somehow. I was thinking of a lot of early 2000s songs. I feel very eager and excited. So maybe some of you left home behind to chase your dreams in someway. So, every win is a little bittersweet. Honestly, its such a vibe rn. I'm feeling chill, room is dimly lit, there's thin swirls of smoke coming from the burning sage...
4-card spread: Ace of Disks, The High Priestess, Prince of Cups, 7 of Disks. Bottom of Deck is Knight of Wands.
So, for context I'm using The Urban Tarot Deck. I feel like the imagery really helps with this pile. Its a Thoth inspired deck so the names for the cards are a little different. I read Knights as Kings and Princes as Knights.
All right, so right away I feel kind of confined. I don't think you would have had a horrible life or situation but it would not have been all that you needed. You would continue secretly dreaming of the life that you truly want. Whatever that means to you. I say this because the woman on the high priestess card looks very dreamy. Like she stole away and ran herself a bath just to have a few moments of solitude. But with the "knight of cups" right next to her--which is another card that can signify illusions, fantasies, daydreaming--it feels like she's dreaming of what could have been. And what could still be!
I always read this knight of cups as an amateur filmmaker. Someone just starting out, perhaps a little pretentious, but their intentions are in the right place. The fact that its a card that isn't fully mature, like a king of cups for instance, makes it seem tangible. So the woman isn't jumping to the ultimate end goal, but what could reasonably happen. This dream just lives in her head. Something she keeps for herself.
This is supported by the ace of disks (pentacles) and the 7 of disks. The 7 of pentacles can show patience as you wait on your investments or considering whether you invest or not. Aces are new starts. So, you would still be thinking about whatever alternative option you rejected to stay. Maybe you would know its still on the table and that's why you toy with the idea as a contingency plan. You know your growth is being stunted. Honestly for this group I think you were meant to leave. I don't think you would ever have been able to throw away this opportunity.
The king of wands is passionate and action oriented. This is how you would yearn to be. An energy like this cannot be contained. For some of you this may be referring to leaving a family dynamic or hometown behind. Right under the king is the 8 of cups reversed. With the imagery, I'm getting substance abuse problems. Maybe its common where you're from, alcoholism in particular. With it reversed, I think you would want to cut ties once and for all. Like just ghost friends, cousins, maybe even a partner. Like its the sort of thing where there may be all this lore associated with your name back home.
You will see what you could turn out like and decide to just go. For some this could relate to a job too. Maybe you see how the job consumes people around you, people lose relationships, some may get depressed, start drinking. You might have "noped" out of that and decided to carve your own path.
For those resonating with more of a family dynamic, I think you might experience some kind of loss. The kind of loss that acts as the straw that breaks the camel's back. Like I'm hearing "well, if Granny G/GG ain't here anymore, wtf am I doing here?" For others you could experience some kind of deep betrayal like a cheating spouse, a backstabbing best friend. And it will just make you go "fuck it" and choose yourself. You might not even be about all that lovey-dovey crap anyway.
Oracle Message: The oracle cards basically repeated the same message: Imposter Syndrome, Forever a Phoenix, and Emergence. Its literally what I- like look at this: "Sometimes you can't save it. Sometimes you have to take what's left and what lessons you have learned and simply just watch the rest burn to the ground." (Forever a Phoenix) The message of feeling confined comes up as well. The emergence card depicts a butterfly woman emerging from her cocoon. It's giving...I REST MY CASE.
Pile 2
Off the bat: A lot of you could be watching for an academic or professional situations. It reminds me of when I had to choose another school over my first choice. In hindsight, that was the best decision I could have made. I now can truly understand the saying "thank god for unanswered prayers." A move could be significant in someway so maybe some of you relocated or chose to stay where you are.
4-card spread: 9 of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, The Moon, The Hanged Man. Bottom of deck is The Fool.
I immediately started to feel a lot of anxiety. My chest feels kind of tight. If you hadn't left maybe you would have dealt with a lot of anxiety or panic attacks. I feel like the environment would have been stifling. A lot of major arcanas in a spread can sometimes signify stability or a lack of change. So if you are watching for a professional situation (academic counts too), you might not have progressed. This could look like never being given promotions. For others I am getting a combo of work and school like a dance academy or something. In a situation like this may always skip over you when it comes time for assigning solos. There is also a lot of romantic energy coming through but please consider how it resonates for your situation.
I also think something about remaining in whatever this is, would have caused you to doubt yourself. The moon and the wheel of fortune side by side could hint at emotional or mental instability. While I do read the wheel as a positive card, because it is something that is always turning, it can also represent a certain predictable unpredictability. The 9 of wands reinforces the message about being on guard. I think it would have been really exhausting to keep up with this toxicity indefinitely.
If this represents a romantic "third party" situation, the affair would have continued in the same way it was going. This applies regardless of which side of the third party you fall on. So if you were in a relationship with the person already, they would keep cheating. Or you would never be able to relax because you'd always be waiting for the next shoe to drop. Always on the look out for signs they're back to their old ways and never fully being able to trust them. No relationship can thrive in the those circumstances. So it would leave you frozen in this state of constant misery.
For others, if you resonate with being the person they snuck around with or if you were one of the many people they were entertaining, they would have kept that up, unfortunately. You would probably get resentful eventually. You may not even get any kind of title that would hint at some kind of significance to your relationship. They would not show the kind of effort that makes you go, "wow, they really value me and want to make this connection work". Nope, with the wheel and the fool. They would want to continue popping in and out with no thought to how it could throw you off balance. They could ghost. Your self-esteem and ability to ground yourself would really suffer.
This could also apply for situations where cheating wasn't the issue or at least it wasn't the only one. If the other person was rude, or controlling, or just awful, that would have continued. It would be you giving up parts of yourself and your peace to keep things afloat. They would still poster like they are "self-made" and like they're a great person.
Oracle Message: I haven't pulled anything yet but some of you may benefit from meditating. If this is something you have been practicing and wonder if there's any point, there is but the benefits are cumulative. So, you have to stick with it. Same with therapy, fitness journeys, or health journeys. Any kind of self-care. You just gotta be consistent. I am pulling from my affirmation cards deck. I'm going to insert a pic. "Today I am responsible" and "today I am at peace" came out together. My intentions were to read these cards as if they came out reversed. So with that in mind, you would have continued being in a lot drama and back and forth. The situation would be detrimental to your mental health and possibly physical health. Think a partner or friend that uses substances and so it makes it easier for you to get into. You might not get as much joy out of life and work would be unfulfilling. Overall, you would not experience much growth as a person.
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Pile 3
Off the bat: I am getting more relationship and love energy. But if you are here for something nonromantic, just change the love stuff to fit your situation. Many of you are here for friends or significant others. For some of you, this reading may not be "that deep." Like perhaps this is just a crush that you moved on from and you're wondering what could have happened with them. Others you might have left a party and you're trying to quash the feelings of FOMO lol. Bubbles from The Powerpuff Girls could be significant for some reason.
4-card spread: 10 of Swords, Ten of Cups, Ace of Swords, King of Pentacles. Bottom of deck is 4 of Cups.
I just want to note that the king of pentacles came out sideways. So if there is a flakey or unreliable person in this situation, they would have let you down. So for some resonating with a party or a gathering, if you wanted to stay because a friend or a crush was there, they might have ended up ditching you anyway. You could have stayed and realized this person was not even available, so perhaps they came with someone else. You might have just ended up bored, in your feelings, and way too drunk.
Next, if this was someone that was breadcrumbing you or kind of one foot in, one foot out, they have the potential to really disappoint you. I say this because of the sideways king of pentacles, ten of swords, 4 of cups, and the 6 of pentacles right under the 4 of cups. So you could have ended up feeling unfulfilled emotionally or practically (e.g. quality time). This other person could be kind of cocky, especially if they have a lot of other friend or dating options.
For others of you, staying could have led to pregnancy or children in some way. So this could be a partner or spouse that you considered staying with. A few examples I am getting: Having a child with this person, staying with them and starting a family, finding out they had a child or family with someone else.
The storyline is kind of splitting at this point. Some of this could resonate or none of it, so trust your gut. There's a group of you where things would not have been that bad. This is only for people who had a decent relationship with the person. Maybe the main issue was that you both weren't mature enough or stable enough to have a baby or a super serious relationship. This pregnancy would make you two very happy and would bring you closer together. Even if you ended up co-parenting, I think it would be okay for the most part.
Now, for the other half of the storyline...it's not such a happy ending. If something told you this person was not reliable enough to have a family with, that was likely the truth. They seem like the sort of person that would seem cool to start. They would act like they are going to step up. Think coming around your family more, being present for first ultrasounds, looking at apartments with you. I do think there would still be an air of detachment though. Unfortunately, this person gives me the vibe that they would just go cold. Like they may start off seeming bored, then escalate to "no call, no show" type of behavior, culminating in them ghosting or being very hard to reach. They aren't as ready as they seem and you would be mostly on your own. Whether this means as a single parent or them letting your relationship fall apart. They could continue posting online with their friends, when you were supposed to go to an open house, or crib shopping, or having your baby shower...you get the idea.
Oracle Message: I am pulling from a non tarot deck. I will insert a picture of the cards. It would be a lot to type out in order to explain properly. 😅You could resonate with certain cards more than others. (OMG you know what I just realized. I was getting Bubbles earlier and isn't that what Summer Walker calls her baby? If you know about her and her relationship drama, that could be more confirmation.) For some of you, you could see "what could have been," reflected in one of your friend's life. Maybe they made the opposite decision than you. The cards talking about fate lead me to believe that maybe things worked out in your best interests. In hindsight, you might be able to see how you dodged a bullet. Perhaps you would have had to sacrifice your goals, boundaries, or self-love. The other person seems really messy. The first, third, and sixth card make me think that. The first card is again making me feel like they could have a group that they run with that probably isn't the best influence. Maybe they have a lot of run-ins with the law. Impulsivity and recklessness could be the norm with this person. Also, it would probably be very hard to trust this person. Specifically, it would be veryy hard to trust they will change. You could have the same conversations and just go around in circles with no results. The trust question makes me think of couples counseling and the card next to it reminds me of individual counseling. You would probably get more out of one-on-one counseling. Whatever decision you made here was the right one.
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I've been considering offering personals. I would probably put a quota on certain readings just so we are all "consuming responsibly", so to say. It would also just make me feel more a little more comfy. Boundaries were the main reason I stopped doing readings for anyone besides myself. I need to have my ducks in a row so for now it's just a thought.
Anywhoo 🦉 I've got soo many more readings planned. The last one from the poll will be a classic love reading. I will probably do another poll so keep an eye out for that! 💋
~K
#tarotcommunity#pick a card#tarot#intuitive readings#tarot reading#oracle reading#spirituality#oracle cards#pick a pile#pick a card reading
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So today there was this class where the teacher wanted us to learn how to be "empathetic".
Context is that this is the first day of the second semester back and this class is basically giving an environment for us to learn on how to interact with people different from yourself and work together to tackle a problem. (It's mandatory for us students.) So it had a mix of students (age 18-21) from different courses grouped together. We don't know anyone. We won't interact outside of this class.
She also wanted the pre-assigned groups of ppl to get to know each other a little better using this exercise as a team bonding activity.
Continuing on,
The exercise goes like this:
Each person in the group is a part of the family unit (u can be the mom,dad, child, grandparent and even the pet)
You are all living in the same house
Then you draw up what budget looks like for the family in a month.
The thing about this is that this class is happening at the end of a long day. A very long first day back to school, at least for me.
So chaos is waiting to be unleashed from inside of me.
My classmate, who I know is a shit stirrer, was also part of my group. There was also a guy who claimed to be a professional gaslighter during our icebreaker exercises.
It started simple.
My classmate (who we will call C) tells us that he will be the rich grandpa and the rest of us will be his family who is mooching off his wealth.
The two seemingly less chaotic people of the group goes on to take the role of mom and dad. Useless detail to add but the one claiming to be the mom is a guy. (Yay! Fuck traditional gender roles or sth)
In chaos gremlin mode, I claim the title of the aunt (divorced once and secretly gay) and sisters with the mom. The aunt hates the mom because of sibling rivalry and also because the mom was better than her. So the aunt is bitter and jealous and a hater.
Mr. Professional Gaslighter goes on to be the adopted kid taken in by the mom and dad.
Then C shared a google doc so we can use it to draw up the budget.
Clearly, the budget would need some context to explain the expenses so we used that opportunity to expand the backstory of our characters.
Meet Grandpa Xavier Demarcus Ang used to be a criminal and hv connections with the mafia. That explained his wealth. And also on life support.
He adopted 13 year old Nino Mazino as his grandson to be the heir to his empire and teaching the ways of the family business.
Little Nino is suspected of criminal activities, expert gaslighter (has framed the dad for something once)
Then the two Ang daughters:
Calista Ang (my character) the unmarried Aunt. Coporate Slave who does shady deals with shady people (her dad is a mafia boss so obvi she was a little bit in the underground world). Basically a professional hater. Hates her sister. Hates her brother in law. Hates the kid. Greatest desire is to unplug Xavier's life support and get her inheritance.
Cheryl Ang-Tan (Mom) social media influencer by day, taxi driver at night, single on tinder profile with another husband on the side. She is planning to divorce her current husband in 2 months.
Finally:
John Tan (Dad and perhaps the only normal character who should never have gotten involved with the family) office worker who wants to make more money and get promoted.
If you expected us to make a perfectly normal budget plan after making up that whole drama filled backstory, you are dead wrong.
-----
The basic budget plan the teacher wanted us to make:
Accommodation:
Food:
Groceries:
Utilities:
Clothes:
Any other expenses:
-----
The budget we made:
Accommodation: $3500/mon (bc we lived in a 4 bedroom flat and mortgage paid for by Xavier. This is the number they pick don't ask me how they got it.)
Food: $300 per person /month
Groceries: $450/month
Utilities: $550/month (because we want hot showers but Xavier would kill us we ever try to take a bath)
Finally the best part:
Clothes: $4588/ month (bc mommy and aunty love designer clothes)
Under any expense you can think of:
Car gas: $300/month (bc Calista needs a car to get to work and Cheryl is a 'taxi driver' at night)
Hospital bills: $5000/month (bc rmb Xavier is on life support)
-----
So while other groups got their total budget to be around 3~5k /month. Our group got over 15k /month as our total and we were mostly mooching off Xavier's wealth.
Then the teacher revealed the next step of the exercise:
Suddenly, your gross total household income has become $1500 per month. What will you do?
We had to redo our budget.
My suggestion to pull the plug on Xavier was well met and we made the almost unanimous decision to kill off Xavier Demarcus Ang bc his hospital bills were too high and he was dying anyways. We also needed his inheritance to live on. (You were a shit dad, Calista said to her father as he laid on his deathbed)
Then, we found out that Xavier was a spiteful shit that made it so little Nino got his inheritance and no one could access it.
Unfortunately, the family had to downgrade to a 2 bedroom flat bc the rent is cheaper. But that would mean that there was not enough space for 4 people.
The sisters made the decision to kick Nino out into the streets because he was so useless anyways. John was only kept around bc he contributed something(money) to the household.
The once mighty Ang family resorted to a meal a day, quick cold showers once a week and the bare minimun to survive.
The Ang sisters had to make the hardest decision to stop buying designer clothes and they couldn't afford any new ones right now.
(If you are asking why we didn’t sell the car or our expensive clothes, the rule was that we couldn't increase the budget by selling things so there was no point in selling anything)
-----
The new budget:
Accommodation: $150/month
Food: $200
Groceries: $200
Utilities: $200
Clothes: $50
Car gas: $0 (bc we ain't driving anywhere bc the gas price is high and the car remained a relic of pur former glory days)
Public transport fee: $50
Hospital bills: $0
-----
You might be wondering where the empathy part of the exercise it.
Well....
The teacher announced that the student playing the character that would be most affected by the changes in the budget to come up and tell us
What the hardest decision to make was?
What was the easiest decision?
Who was the most affected and how?
Our Answers:
The decision to stop buying designer clothes. And kicking the adopted kid out because he got the inheritance no one can get but no one wants him around anymore. Nino was Xavier's favourite so everyone hated him.
Easiest decision was pulling the plug on Xavier. Dude was dying alr and we couldn't the hospital bills even if we wanted to.
Most affected was Nino. And Mr. Pro Gaslighter gave this whole tragic story of how he was abandoned by the family since Grandpa Xavier was the only one to care about him and with him gone, Nino no longer had his protection. This 13 year old made his way in the world by catching pigeons in the park and making satay out of the birds in order to feed himself or sell them to ppl for a dollar a stick.
Me and C were giggling like mad the entire time.
Hilariously, the teacher went along with the entire thing and ask normal questions like:
"How would your friends feel about your new homeless situation?"
They don't know about it because I haven't been back in school bc the Ang family were sponsoring me and now they aren’t sponsoring me and I can't go to school.
"Where are you sleeping since you were kicked out?"
On a park bench
"How are you feeding yourself?"
I make satays out of the pigeon I catch and sell them for a dollar a stick. Also I steal from the Angs when they are not home. Grandpa taught me a lot of tricks.
-----
With each word coming out of his mouth, everyone was trying not to burst out laughing.
Honestly, I was dying of laughter and holding back tears at the end of it.
The teacher eventually decided to move onto another group because our group had taken too long. I think she was a bit in disbelief of how far we had taken the entire thing.
Our family dynamic had to be the most toxic out of the all of them and filled with drama.
It was shit but oh what glorious shit it was.
#i would like to add that Nino kept blaming the decision to kick him out on Aunt Calista#Calista would say that it was a mutual decision made by Cheryl and John and she was wrongfully accused#Xavier was a shit dad and deserved to die#he lived for too long
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God Eater 3 Character Novel | Unstained Choice: Chapter 4
[image id: A novel cover. On the right side is Claire Victorious from God Eater 3, holding her Charge Spear-type God Arc and staring off into the distance with determination. On the left side is a young Claire, holding a handkerchief in her hand and looking sad. In the background is a Gleipnir banner. The text, when translated into English, reads “God Eater 3 Character Novel | Chapter 3: Claire Edition | Unstained Choice”. /end id]
This is a fan translation. Original text here.
Masterpost 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7
Several years had passed since my determination replaced the promised handkerchief wrapped around my hand with a red armlet.
At eighteen years of age, I lived my days as a member of Gleipnir.
Gleipnir 6th Engineering Battalion, Special Transport Unit. Our primary mission was transporting supplies to the front lines.
Compared to when my father and brother led House Victorious, my days were less than glamorous.
From the day I decided to become a God Eater, I began to study medicine in earnest. The first aid skills I acquired earned me an excellent reputation within Gleipnir.
"With you keeping us safe, I can concentrate on the enemy." Those were the words of a God Eater I didn't know the name of; one of the few commendations I'd received since joining Gleipnir.
Just a little bit of kindness could transcend status and position, connecting people and saving their hearts.
After that day, I began studying medicine in the hope that I'd have more opportunities to do so, but I never imagined it'd earn me such a spotlight in my daily life as a God Eater.
I still had the handkerchief from that day in my bag, cleaned of all stains, as a good luck charm to support my unwavering resolve.
Although I hadn't yet fulfilled that promise, I looked forward to the day I eventually would.
Rumors about her had spread so far throughout Gleipnir that they had even reached my ears.
Along with a disparaging epithet.
"An operation for developing new routes...?"
After a recent transport mission, a sudden announcement was made to those assembled at Port Arrowhead, Gleipnir's headquarters.
"I heard it'll be a large-scale operation to reestablish navigational routes around Arrowhead. They'll be mobilizing all Gleipnir units. After returning, we're to wait at the Port until the operation starts."
The sudden announcement of the large-scale operation had perplexed even the captain.
After returning to Arrowhead and unloading the cargo, our mission was complete. We had been ordered to wait at the Port until the start of the operation.
"By any chance, would you happen to be Claire Victorious?"
As I sat idly by with nothing to do, I heard someone call out to me from behind.
A man with an aristocratic demeanor approached, bowing graciously.
"It's wonderful to meet you. I have been waiting for an opportunity to speak with you like this for quite some time."
"...I'm sorry. I have a mission to attend to. If you'll excuse me."
It seemed like it would be a hassle. I turned and tried to get away as quickly as possible.
"Please wait a moment. I've already confirmed the completion of your unit's mission. I would very much like to deepen relations with the head of House Victorious."
He grabbed my arm and cut off my escape route.
People like this came along from time to time. He was probably just another aristocrat from a noble family looking to establish connections with House Victorious.
The man continued to hold my arm and began talking at length about himself, leaving me at a loss until—
"Searching for a bride at this time of night? Even if it's for the sake of your family, you seem pretty eager."
A woman came down from the nearby stairs.
"Ah...!"
Seeing her took my breath away.
"Hmph, you... What do you want?"
The man muttered under his breath as she approached.
"Oh, pardon me. You seemed to be enjoying yourselves, so I thought I'd join you. ...Now that I think about it, you were chatting up another girl the other day, weren't you? Are you getting along with her as well?"
Lifting the edge of her mouth suggestively, the woman casually stepped between us.
"Perhaps you're the type to shower wonderful woman with love equally. In that case, I'd love the chance to get to know you better. What do you say?"
"...Such an eyesore. Just you wait, you fragging hyena."
With a loud click of his tongue, the man left.
The woman sighed and turned towards me.
Beautiful silver hair and cold, sharp eyes. Her captivating smile and refined manners seemed even more polished.
"U-Um...!"
We'd finally met, but as for what to say—
"Lady Claire Victorious, I believe. My apologies for the intrusion."
With those words, the woman in front of me bowed respectfully.
A deep sense of despair came over me.
She didn't remember me.
No wonder. We'd only spoken once, when we were children.
I knew it was unreasonable to think she would remember me.
Still, it felt incredibly painful to see one of the lights that had supported me disappear without a trace.
"...Not at all. Thank you very much."
I managed to answer her, my voice trembling. I bit my lip. Was bringing up that day even a good idea?
It was such a brazen move. It would probably just confuse her.
In that case, it would be better to leave it forgotten—
"Heh... Heheh... Ahahahaha! That face! You look like a lost little kid!"
Suddenly, the woman burst into uncontrollable laughter.
"Huh...?"
"Sorry. I was just teasing because I knew you'd remember."
Standing in my tear-filled vision, the woman elegantly brushed her silver hair aside and adjusted her posture.
"Gleipnir Special Ash Crawler Battalion, Assault Infantry Unit, 2nd Medical Corps, Captain Eir Albert. That's my title now. Long time, no see, Claire Victorious."
"Eir...!"
I firmly shook Eir's hand as she proudly proclaimed her title of captain.
I couldn't have been happier that the bond we'd forged that day was still intact like this.
"Hey, don't cry, you're being dramatic."
"But... But...!"
"You're just as much a crybaby as you were back then... We have a lot to talk about, so how about some tea? I'd say I'm a much better escort than that brainless aristocrat from earlier, wouldn't you?"
Of course. It had been a long time since I had been able to smile at someone.
Eir's room was lined with academic books on every subject as far as the eye could see.
"If there's a book that catches your eye, I'll lend it to you. I've read them all."
"All of them...?"
Just how much time had she devoted to that task?
The flame of ambition I'd seen in Eir's eyes back then still seemed to be burning undiminished to this day.
"You've become captain... Congratulations."
"Along with plenty of bad press."
While elegantly brewing tea, Eir took a stab at the unsettling topic.
I had heard many dark rumors about her.
Despite being a medic, she ravaged the battlefield in her lust for glory. She'd even killed her previous captain, taking their place. The Demon of the Medical Corps, Eir Albert.
The man's words from earlier—a hyena killing her fellow comrades—came to mind.
"...Such a terrible rumor. It couldn't possibly be true."
I muttered under my breath, suppressing the anger welling up in my chest.
But then—
"What if it were true?"
Suddenly, spine-chillingly cold arms were draped around me from behind.
"If, in order to restore House Albert, taking a life has become a trivial task for me... How would you feel?"
As she pressed her body against mine, Eir whispered seductively in my ear.
Without a second thought, I brushed her off.
"You shouldn't play the villain like that, you know."
Even when faced with such an ambush, I didn't flinch.
"I don't believe it. It's a stupid rumor."
Though not meaning to imitate her, I snorted in exasperation and laughed at the joke.
She'd do anything to achieve her ambitions. Her words were probably true.
But she wouldn't hurt anyone for that goal. Nor would she do anything that would cause her to throw away her pride. ...At least, that was what I believed.
Because she worked harder than anyone else to achieve her ambitions and continued to produce results, she had gained a number of enemies who disparaged her. That was all there was to it.
"...Right."
Eir muttered in a bored tone, as if teasing me was no longer worth the effort.
There was no mistaking the small smile that graced her lips.
"Well, let's put that aside for now. ...What do you think about the route development operation, Claire?"
After placing the freshly brewed tea on the table, Eir sat across from me.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm a captain, after all. Lots of information graces my ears. Still, this operation really did come out of the blue."
Eir steepled her fingers in thought.
"Something happened that's big enough to move the entirety of Gleipnir. Or... it could be a rehearsal for an even bigger operation."
"A bigger operation...?"
"This is just a guess, but I'm certain this operation will lead to something big."
"I see... Then, this is a chance for you to make a name for yourself."
I said it casually, thinking Eir was planning to seize the opportunity for herself.
But contrary to my expectations, Eir remained silent, staring off into space.
"Yeah... Right..."
It seemed out of character for her to hesitate like that. But the next moment, Eir's usual fearless smile returned.
"Well, I'll do my best to knock the socks off those pompous jerks."
"Heheh, you really haven't changed at all, Eir. I'm actually kind of relieved."
"What? Are you really so happy that the higher-ups hate me?"
"That's not what I meant... I've always wanted you to fulfill your dream. I'm glad you're getting closer."
As Eir stared at me, taken aback, I opened my bag.
"Finally, I can fulfill my promise."
I timidly handed Eir the handkerchief I had treasured for so long.
"No way... Have you been carrying it around all this time?"
"Mm-hm. It meant a lot to me..."
From that day until now. And even once it left my possession.
It would continue to be a memory that would support my heart.
I wanted to return the handkerchief to Eir, who had led me so far.
"...Heh. Well then, I'll take it back as promised. I've been needing a dust cloth."
"I-I'd appreciate it if you'd treat it a bit more carefully..."
"Ahaha, I'm just kidding. ...Thanks. I'll take good care of it."
I'd been able to repay Eir's kindness from back then—with a little something in return from me.
"We've both been running around the Ashlands in caravans for a while now, so we don't get to see each other often... but it was good seeing you again."
"Yeah. I was happy to see you, too."
The paths we'd set our sights on that day would continue into the future.
Of that, I was certain.
"Good luck on the mission, Eir."
"...Yeah. You, too."
With cheerful expressions, we shook hands tightly.
The time we had spent together was still so short.
And yet, the time I spent with Eir was invaluable to me.
Translator's Note
#god eater#god eater 3#ge3#god eater 3 spoilers#ge3 spoilers#claire victorious#eir albert#devil translates#ge3 character novel#ge3 character novel dx#claire character novel#claire character novel dx#devil chrono tag
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Dear Self,
It’s funny, isn’t it? Writing a letter to you, the person I know so well yet feel is still an unfolding mystery. It’s October 11, 2024, and I’m here, waiting—still holding out hope for that email. The one we’ve built up in our minds as the potential golden ticket, the one that could change everything and open doors we once only dreamed about.
At thirty, I find it amusing how much weight we place on these single moments—these inflection points we believe can alter the trajectory of our entire existence. But here’s what I want you to remember: while we’re sitting in anticipation of that external validation, life continues to unfold in all its unpredictable beauty. Yes, we’ve seen the world change in unimaginable ways—on both personal and global levels—but what I’ve come to realize is that the most important change is happening within us.
I know it’s easy to get discouraged when things don’t pan out the way you envisioned, but please don’t lose hope. I’m writing to you from a place that might feel far away, but trust me, it’s much closer than you think. From where I sit, I can see the tapestry of your life being woven together—every high, every low, every twist of fate has its purpose. And it’s breathtaking to witness.
There’s something important you need to know: it’s never too late to chase after what sets your soul on fire. Those dreams you hold so dearly, the ones you sometimes push aside out of fear or practicality—they are still within reach. The key is not in waiting for the right moment or the perfect opportunity; it’s in nurturing that fire inside you no matter where you are or what you’re facing. You have the power to shape your own reality, even when the world feels overwhelming. It’s in the quiet perseverance, in the way you rise after every setback, that you’ll discover the strength that’s always been within you.
I want you to hold on tightly to that, to have unwavering faith in your abilities, even when self-doubt creeps in. You’ve come this far because you’ve trusted yourself, and though the road ahead will still have its share of challenges, know that you have everything you need to keep going. Managing your emotions—especially the ones that feel like they might swallow you whole—is part of the process. It’s okay to feel deeply, to get lost in moments of vulnerability, because that’s where you’ll find the connection to others and, ultimately, to yourself.
One thing I’ve learned is that vulnerability isn’t a weakness—it’s one of your greatest strengths. The moments when you allow yourself to be seen, flaws and all, are the moments that lead to the deepest connections. You’ve spent so long trying to shield yourself from hurt, but it’s in lowering those walls that you’ll find the love and support you didn’t even realize you needed.
I want you to take a step back and recognize the hard work you’ve already put in. I know you don’t often give yourself credit, but you’ve accomplished so much more than you think. Every late night, every tear shed in frustration, every time you kept going when it would’ve been easier to quit—it’s all brought you to this point. And I couldn’t be more proud of the person you’ve become.
What’s most exciting is that you’re still evolving. The person I am now isn’t the end of your journey, just another beautiful chapter in a story that’s still being written. You have so much more to give to the world, and the successes you’ve dreamed of? They’re coming, but in ways you can’t even imagine yet. Life has a funny way of surprising you when you least expect it.
I want to leave you with one final reminder: you are loved. Not just by those around you but by you. I know it hasn’t always been easy to embrace love, especially when it doesn’t look the way you expected it to. But love comes in many forms, and it’s time to open yourself to it, in all its varieties. Let people love you in their own unique ways, and in return, offer your love freely and without reservation. It will transform you, trust me.
The journey ahead isn’t about chasing an ideal or waiting for some external approval. It’s about embracing who you are, right now, and trusting that every step you take—whether big or small—leads you closer to the life you’ve always wanted. It’s already inside you, waiting for you to believe in it.
So take a deep breath. Trust the process. And above all, never forget that I love you, unconditionally and without limits. I’m proud of who you are today and who you will continue to become. Keep moving forward, and know that everything will work out, even if the path ahead looks uncertain right now.
With all my love, Your future self
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DAD MONSTA X A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Jooheon
A ⇴ AFFECTION
Jooheon loves the chance to be even more affectionate with you whilst your pregnant, he loves spending as much time as possible obsessing over you and your bump and making you feel as loved by him with your bump as possible.
B ⇴ BUMP
The most important thing to Jooheon is that your bump is well looked after at times you can be a bit clumsy, and so he’s very much the eyes and ears for you when your bump is in the way. He’s forever grabbing onto you or moving you into a different direction to stop you knocking into something or causing too much damage.
C ⇴ CRAVINGS
Whilst he never makes you feel bad for any of the things that you’re craving, it certainly confuses Jooheon how you can eat such things. He’s not fussy, but he knows what he likes, and very quickly can determine that the things that you’re craving are all things that he is far from being a fan of eating, or even watching you eat too.
D ⇴ DUE DATE
Jooheon tried his hardest to keep your due date exciting, and not make it into something that you needed to stress about. Every day, he would turn the countdown that you had in the living room with a smile on his face knowing that he was one day closer to meeting his baby. He’d try his hardest to keep you looking forward to it well, calm was all that he needed from you, the last thing he wanted was for you to worry over it.
E ⇴ EMOTIONS
It was a rollercoaster for you both more than anything else as you rode through the nine months of pregnancy. Whilst both of you knew that it would come with highs and lows, you never imagined that your highs would be so high, and your lows would be so low. If anything, though, pregnancy brought the two of you closer together, you relied on one another for support to be able to get through the good and the bad.
F ⇴ FAMILY
You were all too aware of how huge of a part kids played in Jooheon’s family, and so you certainly felt the pressure to add another baby to their family on Jooheon’s behalf. When you eventually found out that you were pregnant, it was a relief, and exciting too, as you knew already without even having to tell them how excited all of Jooheon’s family would be, they loved every single time when a new baby came into all of their lives.
G ⇴ GENDER
Both of you didn’t mind too much about finding out the gender, but there was one person who was keen for the two of you to find out, Olive. Every time she saw you, she asked if you knew yet only for the two of you to say no, until finally the sonographer asked, and with her in the back of your head, you agreed to find out the gender.
H ⇴ HEARTBEAT
The beat of your baby’s heart was always an overwhelming sound for Jooheon to hear, connecting the dots between baby and bump. He never truly believed that his baby was inside of your bump, but when he heard such a strong sign of life from them, he knew that they were there, and excited to meet you both too.
I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”
At all of the high points and all of the low, Jooheon would always tell you that he loved you and make sure to remind you that he was always there for you too. He never wanted you to struggle or be happy alone, he always wanted to be there for you and love you through everything, supporting you through it all.
J ⇴ JEALOUSY
He’s found himself getting jealous a few times of other people when they’re around you, but whilst your pregnant, Jooheon is determined to not let stupid things get to him like he used to allow. Jooheon knows that he’s yours, and he’s very proud of your bump too, and so whilst others might try to make him jealous, knowingly or not, he brushes it aside as nothing, keeping himself calm and not letting things get to him.
K ⇴ KICKS
Whenever the two of you saw Olive, she’d want to hold onto your bump straight away and find a kick. Jooheon would always lift her up so that she could reach properly, whilst you’d take a hold of her hands and place them exactly where your baby was kicking, waiting for the moment until her face would inevitably light up.
L ⇴ LABOUR
The most important thing to Jooheon throughout your labour was making sure that you stayed positive and looked ahead. He was telling as many jokes as he could and trying to make you laugh as often as possible too in order to keep you smiling and stop you from getting scared. The midwives quickly fell in love with you too, and once your baby arrived, they were all sure to let you know just how lucky you were too.
M ⇴ MORNING SICKNESS
He loved to try and put you at ease whilst you were being sick as he knew how flustered you always became. You hated the fact that Jooheon was seeing you in such a state, but for every time that you got shy or embarrassed, he would always make you feel better and assure you there was no reason for you to be bashful.
N ⇴ NURSERY
Jooheon loved getting stuck in with your nursery, whilst building wasn’t something that he had done too much of before, he was keen to learn and make sure that your nursery was the best room in the whole house.
O ⇴ OBSESSION
He was obsessed with your hugs, especially how you’d always have to find a way to hug him with your bump in the way. You’d always have to tell him to wait whilst you found a position that was comfortable for you.
P ⇴ POST BIRTH
Jooheon is very cautious after you give birth, although he doesn’t stop you from doing anything, most of the time he’s shadowing behind you just to be on the safe side. Once you’re sat down, he’ll leave you alone again, usually passing you your baby too so that you can have a cuddle with them whilst you recover.
Q ⇴ QUESTIONS
No decision is ever made when it comes to your baby without you both being in agreement, no matter how big or small it is, you’ll always ask the other what they think about things before making any decisions.
R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS
Jooheon was keen to make as many memories as possible whilst you were pregnant, exploring many options of things you could do. You ended up having all sorts made, moulds, photographs, casts, you name it, the chances were that Jooheon had arranged for the two of you to do it so that you could remember your pregnancy.
S ⇴ SCANS
Your scan photos were very important for Jooheon, he made sure to keep them safe and out of harm. As soon as the two of you got home, he would place the photo on the fridge with a magnet so that the two of you could always look at it, especially when you’d inevitably go to the fridge in search of something to satisfy your cravings.
T ⇴ TEST
When Jooheon got the call to say that you were in hospital, panic set in as he wondered what was wrong with you after collapsing. However, it was fair to say the last thing he expected the answer to be was pregnancy.
U ⇴ ULTRASOUND
All of your appointments were booked off well in advance by Jooheon so that he could make sure he was right by your side for them all.
V ⇴ VISITS
He couldn’t wait to have guests round, and of course the boys were keen to be the first ones to come round and visit your baby, having sent you both multiple texts every single day wondering when they could stop by.
W ⇴ WAITING
It was very much a split with Jooheon, some days he could be very patient, and other days he just couldn’t wait any longer to meet your little one.
X ⇴ XXXX
Any opportunity that came about to kiss you, Jooheon would take with both hands. As he hugged you from behind so much, it meant that the side of your face was often in prime position for him to shower with affection.
Y ⇴ YOU
You were his strength, Jooheon got a whole lot of power from watching how tough you were too.
Z ⇴ ZZZ
He’d always make sure to continue holding you from behind at night as well, keeping his arms around your waist and over your bump to try and keep it as still as possible to help you get off to sleep as best as you could.
---
Masterlist
#monsta x#monsta x imagine#jooheon#jooheon imagine#lee jooheon#lee jooheon imagine#monsta x reaction#monsta x scenario#monsta x headcanon#monsta x jooheon#joohoney#joohoney imagine#monsta x drabble#monsta x one shot#monsta x fluff#jooheon scenario#jooheon reaction#jooheon drabble#jooheon fluff#jooheon one shot#kpop#kpop imagine
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To me, a good ally is someone who is consistent in their efforts – there’s a difference between popping on a pride playlist or sprinkling yourself in rainbow glitter once a year and actually defending LGBT+ people against discrimination. It means showing my LGBT+ fans that I support them wholeheartedly and am making a conscious effort to educate myself, raise awareness and show up whenever they need me to. It would be wrong of me to benefit from the community as a musician without actually standing up and doing what I can to support. As someone in the public eye, it’s important to make sure your efforts are not performative or opportunistic. I’m always working on my allyship and am very much aware that I’ve still got a lot of unlearning and learning to do. There are too many what I call ‘dormant allies’, believing in equality but not really doing more than liking or reposting your LGBT+ mate’s content now and again. Imagine if that friend then saw you at the next march, or signing your name on the next petition fighting for their rights? Being an ally is also about making a conscious effort to use the right language and pronouns, and I recently read a book by Glennon Doyle who spoke of her annoyance and disappointment of those who come out and are met with ‘We love you…no matter what’. I’d never thought of that expression like that before and it really struck a chord with me. ‘No matter what’ suggests you are flawed. Being LGBT+ is not a flaw. Altering your language and being conscious of creating a more comfortable environment for your LGBT+ family and friends is a good start. Nobody is expecting you to suddenly know it all, I don’t think there’s such a thing as a perfect ally. I’m still very much learning. Even recently, after our Confetti music video I was confronted with the fact that although we made sure our video was incredibly inclusive, we hadn’t brought in any actual drag kings. Some were frustrated, and they had every right to be. You can have the right intentions and still fall short. As an open ally I should have thought about that, and I hadn’t, and for that I apologise. Since then I’ve been doing more research on drag king culture, because it’s definitely something I didn’t know enough about, whether that was because it isn’t as mainstream yet mixed with my own ignorance. But the point is we mess up, we apologise, we learn from it and we move forward with that knowledge. Don’t let the fear of f**king up scare you off. And make sure you are speaking alongside the community, not for the community. Growing up in a small Northern working-class town, some views were, and probably still are, quite ‘old fashioned’ and small-minded. I witnessed homophobia at an early age. It was a common thought particularly among men that it was wrong to be anything but heterosexual. I knew very early on I didn’t agree with this, but wasn’t educated or aware enough on how to combat it. I did a lot of performing arts growing up and within that space I had many LGBT+ (mainly gay) friends. I’ve been a beard many a time let me tell you! But it was infuriating to see friends not feel like they could truly be themselves. When I moved to London I felt incredibly lonely and like I didn’t fit in. It was my gay friends (mainly my friend and hairstylist, Aaron Carlo) who took me under their wing and into their world. Walking into those gay bars or events like Sink The Pink, it was probably the first time I felt like I was in a space where everyone in that room was celebrated exactly as they are. It was like walking into a magical wonderland. I got it. I clicked with everyone. My whole life I struggled with identity – being mixed race for me meant not feeling white enough, or black enough, or Arab enough. I was a ‘tomboy’ and very nerdy. I suppose on a personal level that maybe played a part in why I felt such a connection or understanding of why those spaces for the LGBT+ community are so important. One of the most obvious examples of first realising Little Mix was having an effect in the community was that I couldn’t enter a gay bar without hearing a Little Mix song and watching numerous people break out into full choreo from our videos! I spent the first few years of our career seeing this unfold and knowing the LGBT+ fan base were there, but it wasn’t until I got my own Instagram or started properly going through Twitter DMs that I realised a lot of our LGBT+ fans were reaching out to us on a daily basis saying how much our music meant to them. I received a message from a boy in the Middle East who hadn’t come out because in his country homosexuality is illegal. His partner tragically took their own life and he said our music not only helped him get through it, but gave him the courage to start a new life somewhere else where he could be out and proud. There are countless other stories like theirs, which kind of kickstarted me into being a better ally. Another standout moment would be when we performed in Dubai in 2019. We were told numerous times to ‘abide by the rules’, which meant not promoting anything LGBT+ or too female-empowering (cut to us serving a four-part harmony to Salute). In my mind, we either didn’t go or we’d go and make a point. When Secret Love Song came on, we performed it with the LGBT+ flag taking up the whole screen behind us. The crowd went wild, I could see fans crying and singing along in the audience and when we returned it was everywhere in the press. I saw so many positive tweets and messages from the community. It made laying in our hotel rooms s**tting ourselves that we’d get arrested that night more than worth it. It was through our fans and through my friends I realised I need to be doing more in my allyship. One of the first steps in this was meeting with the team at Stonewall to help with my ally education and discussing how I could be using my platform to help them and in turn the community. Right now, and during lockdown, I’d say my ally journey has been a lot of reading on LGBT+ history, donating to the right charities and raising awareness on current issues such as the conversion therapy ban and the fight for equality of trans lives. Stonewall is facing media attacks for its trans-inclusive strategies and there is an alarming amount of seemingly increasing transphobia in the UK today and we need to be doing more to stand with the trans community. Still, there is definitely a pressure I feel as someone in the public eye to constantly be saying and doing the right things, especially with cancel culture becoming more popular. I s**t myself before most interviews now, on edge that the interviewer might be waiting for me to ‘slip up’ or I might say something that can be misconstrued. Sometimes what can be well understood talking to a journalist or a friend doesn’t always translate as well written down, which has definitely happened to me before. There’ve been moments where I’ve (though well intentioned) said the wrong thing and had an army of Twitter warriors come at me. Don’t get me wrong, there are obviously more serious levels of f**king up that are worthy of a cancelling. But it was quite daunting to me to think that all of my previous allyship could be forgotten for not getting something right once. When that’s happened to me before I’ve scared myself into thinking I should STFU and not say anything, but I have to remember that I am human, I’m going to f**k up now and again and as long as I’m continuing to educate myself to do better next time then that’s OK. I’m never going to stop being an ally so I need to accept that there’ll be trickier moments along the way. I think that might be how some people may feel, like they’re scared to speak up as an ally in case they say the wrong thing and face backlash. Just apologise to the people who need to be apologised to, and show that you’re doing what you can to do better and continue the good fight. Don’t burden the community with your guilt. When it comes to the music industry, I’m definitely seeing a lot more LGBT+ artists come through and thrive, which is amazing. Labels, managements, distributors and so forth need to make sure they’re not just benefiting from LGBT+ artists but show they’re doing more to actually stand with them and create environments where those artists and their fans feel safe. A lot of feedback I see from the community when coming to our shows is that they’re in a space where they feel completely free and accepted, which I love. I get offered so many opportunities to do with LGBT+ based shows or deals and while it’s obviously flattering, I turn most of them down and suggest they give the gig to someone more worthy of that role. But really, I shouldn’t have to say that in the first place. The fee for any job I do take that feels right for me but has come in as part of the community goes to LGBT+ charities. That’s not me blowing smoke up my own arse, I just think the more of us and big companies that do that, the better. We need more artists, more visibility, more LGBT+ mainstream shows, more shows on LGBT+ history and more artists standing up as allies. We have huge platforms and such an influence on our fans – show them you’re standing by them. I’ve seen insanely talented LGBT+ artist friends in the industry who are only recently getting the credit they deserve. It’s amazing but it’s telling that it takes so long. It’s almost expected that it will be a tougher ride. We also need more understanding and action on the intersectionality between being LGBT+ and BAME. Racism exists in and out of the community and it would be great to see more and more companies in the industry doing more to combat that. The more we see these shows like Drag Race on our screens, the more we can celebrate difference. Ever since I was a little girl, my family would go to Benidorm and we’d watch these glamorous, hilarious Queens onstage; I was hooked. I grew up listening to and loving the big divas – Diana Ross (my fave), Cher, Shirley Bassey, and all the queens would emulate them. I was amazed at their big wigs, glittery overdrawn make-up and fabulous outfits. They were like big dolls. Most importantly, they were unapologetically whoever the f**k they wanted to be. As a shy girl who didn’t really understand why the world was telling me all the things I should be, I almost envied the queens but more than anything I adored them. Drag truly is an art form, and how incredible that every queen is different; there are so many different styles of drag and to me they symbolise courage and freedom of expression. Everything you envisioned your imaginary best friend to be, but it’s always been you. There’s a reason why the younger generation are loving shows like Drag Race. These kids can watch this show and not only be thoroughly entertained, but be inspired by these incredible people who are unapologetically themselves, sharing their touching stories and who create their own support systems and drag families around them. Now and again I think of when I’d see those Queens in Benidorm, and at the end they’d always sing I Am What I Am as they removed their wigs and smudged their make up off, and all the dads would be up on their feet cheering for them, some emotional, like they were proud. But that love would stop when they’d go back home, back to their conditioned life where toxic heteronormative behaviour is the status quo. Maybe if those same men saw drag culture on their screens they’d be more open to it becoming a part of their everyday life. I’ll never forget marching with Stonewall at Manchester Pride. I joined them as part of their young campaigners programme, and beforehand we sat and talked about allyship and all the young people there asked me questions while sharing some of their stories. We then began the march and I can’t explain the feeling and emotion watching these young people with so much passion, chanting and being cheered by the people they passed. All of these kids had their own personal struggles and stories but in this environment, they felt safe and completely proud to just be them. I knew the history of Pride and why we were marching, but it was something else seeing what Pride really means first hand. My advice for those who want to use their voice but aren’t sure how is, just do it hun. It’s really not a difficult task to stand up for communities that need you. Change can happen quicker with allyship.
Jade Thirlwall on the power, and pressures, of being an LGBT ally: ‘I’m gonna f**k up now and again’
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Forgone | Part Five
Character Mentions: Kōtarō Bokuto, Shōyō Hinata.
Summary: Bokuto & Y/n haven't seen each other for five years, but an unexpected reunion awaits them when he learns that he has a daughter.
Next: Part Six
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/fc102d25efc7c900c8bba9e8cbf61d16/2ca6f8aa2b2a061f-ec/s540x810/f82543ff42932f72e2f2fe7cdc14e67e7f9f0e54.jpg)
Bokuto was extremely happy and excited for his little family to move in with him.
“Yeah, yeah, we need to return earlier, Hinata.” Bokuto said through the phone.
And that's why he had to return earlier from his two-week vacation which had Hinata a bit irritated.
“Yeah I know.” Hinata answered sweetly but a little irritated through the phone.
Hinata knew about the situation since Bokuto had told him— but he wanted to at least enjoy his vacation one more day.
“I’m sorry man, please be here in five minutes.” Bokuto said as he hang up the phone.
He knew he had destroyed his friend's vacation but he would repay him later.
“Spud, did you pack the clothes like I told you?” Y/n asked very sweetly, making Bokuto look at her daughter.
He was concentrating on helping his girls pack.
He knew that they would leave a lot of things behind and he wanted to take into account the things he had to buy when they get to his house.
“N-No.” Akiko answered shyly.
He wanted to support them and give them the best life that he could give.
“Bo, I will pack her clothes. Can you put her shoes on?” Y/n asked sweetly.
“Y-Yes.” Bokuto answered sweetly, excited to have his first moments with his daughter.
He hadn't been able to talk to his daughter much and he wanted to spend the necessary time with her.
“So? What shoes are we putting on?” Bokuto asked sweetly, looking at the white shoes her daughter was carrying.
“D-Dis ones.” Akiko answered softly while handling him the shoes.
He was laughing adorably inside at how small her daughter's shoes were.
“L-Let’s go with the right one first.” Bokuto said while putting her shoe on.
As he was putting it, he could tell his little daughter was laughing.
“Now let’s go with the left.” Bokuto said while putting her other shoe on.
And still, his daughter kept laughing.
“What’s so funny, little one?” Bokuto asked sweetly but curiously.
Suddenly feeling Y/n behind his back.
“B-Bo, her shoes are backwards.” Y/n pointed out in disbelief.
“W-What?” Bokuto asked confused while seeing his daughter shoes—
Backwards.
“Oh.” Bokuto answered embarrassed.
Bokuto had no experience taking care of children, he basically acted like one.
“W-We’re ready.” Y/n said as she was carrying her bags along with her daughter's.
But he knew that he was going to learn little by little.
“Kōntarō.” Hinata knocked at the apartament door.
And he knew he was going to learn how to be a father.
“He’s here.” Bokuto said as he opened the door.
“The cab is waiting—” Hinata was saying until he looked at the little girl who looked ALMOST EXACTLY like his friend.
He knew he would learn from her and his friends.
“I- I— B-Bokuto, s-she looks like you.” Hinata said in disbelief.
And he could tell they would be amazing helpers.
“C-Can you say hey hey hey?” Hinata asked sweetly.
And amazing uncles—of course.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Akiko answered giggling.
Making Hinata fall from the cuteness.
“A-Art.” Hinata praised.
After the adorable moment everyone witnessed—Hinata helped the little family put their bags in the cab.
“Hinata.” Bokuto called as the girls got inside the cab, not being able to hear the conversation between the two.
“I- I need you sit with spud at the flight. I need to talk with Y/n about...stuff.” Bokuto said.
“You got it, man.” Hinata answered sweetly.
After all, Hinata wanted to help his friend in any way.
“Where’s your destination?” The cab driver asked.
“The Airport.” Bokuto replied sweetly, while looking at his daughter and her.
On the way Bokuto only thought about how his life was going to change in a positive way. He was even looking for information on schools near the area—He just wanted to be prepared.
“I will buy snacks for the flight, little one. What would you like to eat?” Hinata asked happily.
“I want candy!” Akiko replied happily.
“Then you will have them, spud.” Bokuto said while giggling.
But what they didn't know was that the sweets made her very energetic.
“J-Just try not to feed her with candy so much.” Y/n said very sweetly.
Which made Bokuto confused.
“M-Mommy please!” Akiko pouted sadly, making her hair deflate— just like her dad.
But he somehow got the message.
“Just a little.” Y/n answered sweetly.
“Aww okay.” Akiko pouted sadly, looking at Hinata with puppy’s eyes.
Maybe he was like him—
He gets very hyper when eating candy.
“You can have all the candy you want.” Hinata muttered, low enough to not be heard by her parents.
“Y-You the best.” Akiko whispered sweetly.
When they arrived at the airport, they took their bags and delivered them to the front.
“Hey, why don’t you guys buy the snacks?” Bokuto asked, giving Hinata hints.
“Y-Yeah, sure.” Hinata said as he took Akiko.
He wanted to have the opportunity to talk to her.
“D-Do you want snacks?” Bokuto asked sweetly, trying to make a conversation with her.
“I- I will just take a water bottle.” Y/n answered sweetly.
“S-Sure let’s go get it.” Bokuto said as they both walked to a little store.
He wanted to win her back after all this years.
“A-Are you sure you don’t want a pj sandwich?” Bokuto asked sweetly.
He knew they were her favorites.
“I- I don’t like them.” Y/n lied, trying to make him believe her.
But he knew she wouldn’t change her favorite snack.
“I- I will buy one just in case.” Bokuto said.
He knew how stubborn she was.
“So...” Bokuto said as he grabbed the pj sandwich.
“So...” Y/n said while walking around the store.
“H-How have you been?” Bokuto asked, mentally hitting himself for the stupid question.
But she knew he meant to harm.
“Overwhelmed, but I will be okay.” Y/n replied sweetly.
And she knew he wanted her, she just didn’t felt...ready.
“S-So, umm, h-have you been dating anyone?” Bokuto asked while looking down.
She knew his intentions were good, but she just...
“N-No. I have been alone, Bo. Thanks for getting worried, though.” Y/n answered while picking a small cookie.
She just wasn’t ready.
She just felt insecure that he would leave her.
“Oh, i-is nothing.” Bokuto answered overwhelmed.
Since she had her daughter, she hadn't dated anyone. She hadn't even one night stands either—she was just alone.
“I- I look...” Bokuto said but was suddenly interrupted by Hinata.
“We’re back.” Hinata said while carrying a shopping bag full of candy.
“Mommy!” Akiko said sweetly.
“The flight is in ten minutes, we better get there.” Hinata said happily.
“Y-Yeah.” Bokuto answered sweetly.
But he still wanted to try, after all...
He wanted to be with her.
“Who’s spud sitting with?” Y/n asked confused while arriving to the plane.
“M-Me!” Hinata suddenly said as he remembered the conversation he had with his friend.
“O-Oh okay.” Y/n answered sweetly.
Immediately following Bokuto to take a seat.
“H-Here.” Bokuto pointed the sit next to him.
“T-Thanks.” Y/n answered very sweetly.
Bokuto had planned the things he wanted to say. He wanted to know her imput and wanted to know if he still had a chance.
“Are you okay?” Y/n asked worried as she saw him tense.
But he didn’t wanted to make her uncomfortable.
“I- I just...I just want to know something.” Bokuto asked nervously.
And she knew what was his question...
She knew him.
“O-Okay.” Y/n answered nervously.
She just knew him too well.
“Do I still have a chance?” Bokuto asked nervously.
“Bo—” Y/n was saying but was interrupted by him.
“Do I still have a chance to redeem myself?” Bokuto asked nervously again.
She knew he had the chance...
She knew he was a good guy.
“Bo...” Y/n answered softly.
But she was scared...
Scared that he would leave her again.
“You’re going to leave me...” Y/n said while looking down.
And he understood what she meant.
“And I don’t want to suffer...” Y/n continued saying.
And he understood what she was feeling.
“I- I don’t want to see you leave again.” Y/n said.
Both of them had strong feelings for each other.
Even after the years.
“I- I won’t.” Bokuto said while grabbing her arms.
They still loved each other.
“I- I won’t leave you.” Bokuto said while tearing up.
They never stopped thinking about each other.
“I- I love you.” Bokuto whispered in her ear.
“Good morning dear passengers. Please fasten the waistbands, the plane is going to take off.” The stewardess said.
“I- I love you.” Bokuto repeated, tears falling from his eyes.
They still had a connection with each other.
“Y-You promise?” Y/n asked while tearing up.
“I- I promise.” Bokuto answered.
“The plane is going to take off in 5 minutes.” The stewardess said.
“I- I love you.” Bokuto confessed again.
“I- I love you, Bo.” Y/n said, grabbing back his hands.
Because the red thread between the two never broke.
“L-Let’s make this work.” Bokuto said smiling, wiping her tears.
“L-Let’s make this work.” Y/n repeated smiling.
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The Champion of Olympus - Poseidon´s Passion
Out of all the three realms connected to the earth, the sea was by far the most extensive one. An entire underwater universe lurked beneath the surface, with more diversity in its inhabitants than both heaven and earth. Poseidon was the ruler of that realm, with the responsibility of maintaining the planet itself in balance. Oceanic currents and tectonic movement were crucial for the mortals´ survival. The god of the sea had inherited the realm after the Titanomachy, given to him by the true embodiment of the sea, Oceanus. He and his titan spouse had given birth to many of the phenomena Poseidon had to keep in check.
But the normally boisterous god was unusually quiet, sitting down in his chariot heading back to the cold depths of his kingdom. The words of his brothers resonated within him. Could it really be possible for Typhon to escape? And more importantly, would he be able to protect all the creatures under his rule? Keeping balance was Poseidon´s primary priority, which made the whole situation even more alarming for him. He took the reins tying the hippocampi pulling his chariot and pressured them to move faster. He had to reach the Oceanic Retreat, also known as the sunken city of Atlantis, to consult with the court about his next course of action.
The palace was located in the center of the underwater capital, adorned with bright gems and bright colorful coral. The city was so deep under the sea, it was unreachable by Apollo´s power. But despite the lack of sunlight, luminescent beings shone brightly to light the streets and buildings. Poseidon´s chariot floated over the gates of the palace and parked on one of the numerous sea gardens, which were filled with creatures and coral normally found on superficial reefs. Triton, Poseidon´s heir, and most trusted advisor greeted him from the gates of the palace.
"That bad huh?"
He asked as soon as he caught a glimpse of the god´s grim visage. The muscular deity approached his son carrying his massive trident with ease, the muscles in his arm pulsing with supernatural strength. The strength to make the earth shake and the ocean rise. Both gods rushed inside the palace to his throne room, while Poseidon put Triton up to date. The young deity was eager to learn the ways of Olympus, for when it was his turn to rise to the throne, so he listened carefully every time his father complained about their extended family.
"How fitting of uncle Zeus to find a way to try to compete with all of you. But if what he and Hades said is right, then we have no time to waste."
"It won´t be so easy son. Our job is to keep balance, and granting divinity to a mortal can very much upset the natural equilibrium of the planet. Just remember where we´re standing right now."
The city of Atlantis, once a thriving metropolis of the ancient world, had fallen victim to the whims of a fallen hero´s delirium and a heavenly dispute. After being defeated by the patron city of Poseidon´s niece, the Atlanteans fell into despair. They managed to get the favor of the god of the sea, who granted power beyond belief to their heroic leader. But this human wasn´t meant to rise as a new god, so the rest of Olympus rejected him, and punished the city by sinking it to the depths of the ocean.
While Triton pondered on his father´s worries, they reached the throne room. A glowing golden throne adorned with all kinds of underwater flora and fauna was in the center of the room, surrounded by a half-circle of different chairs more modest, but still ornamental to symbolize the sea´s royalty. Poseidon stood in front of his throne and slammed the enormous trident on the ground, producing an explosive sound that resonated within the entire ocean.
After a couple of seconds, the god of the sea´s call was answered by the most prominent figures in the oceanic realm. A representative for both the Oceanids, sea nymphs and the Potamoi, the rivers of the world, were the first to appear. Poseidon´s spouse Amphitrite also arrived fast and took her place right next to her husband. Polyphemus came next, the representative for the cyclops who were all devoted to the god of the sea. The old man of the sea, Nereus himself, showed up next. His relationship with Poseidon was more like a truce than a hierarchy, but Nereus´ connection to the ocean realm´s mortal creatures, including his daughters, was a good reason to keep him as an ally. The last one to show up was Styx, the embodiment of the river of the same name coursing through Hades´ realm.
As the court of the sea assembled, Triton took his seat on the right of his father and watched as the gigantic god paraded his muscular physique floating across the room.
"As some of you may know, I was summoned by Zeus for an emergency meeting. It seems the original monster is trying to break free from Tartarus. Is that true Styx?"
Automatically all eyes turned to the river´s seat expectantly. After Hades and the chthonic gods, the underworld river was supposed to know all the happenings of the realm.
"I have heard some rumors, but Lord Hades hasn´t told me anything. Things feel pretty normal in the underworld though. I haven´t sensed any fluctuations within my currents, which are pretty sensitive for any changes in the realm."
"That's very strange, but the fates wouldn´t lie. There is no way they would fall victims of a simple rumor."
Answered Poseidon meditating on the river´s answer. Styx was known to be direct and efficient, seeking to form a bridge between the realms so mortal souls reached their resting space safely. It wouldn´t bother to try and deceive the rest of the deities, especially on such a delicate matter. But then, who was lying? Triton raised from his seat and continued talking, trying to explain the situation his father was telling him about a couple of minutes ago.
"It seems the king of the gods has called for a new Champion to be chosen."
"Is that true Poseidon?"
Asked Amphitrite looking at her husband with worry in her eyes. Poseidon´s days of violence ended eons ago, and she was worried a heavenly competition like the trial of the Champion was going to get the worst out of her husband again.
"Zeus commanded each of the twelve Olympians to choose a champion. As you can imagine, I´m very reluctant to do so again."
Answered Poseidon with a serious tone. The last thing he wanted was to put his subjects through another catastrophe, but something smelled fishy in the whole situation. He wasn´t keen on trusting his family, but the odds were too high. He had to assume the worst in order to prepare. Nereus rose from his seat, his long white beard filled with barnacles floating around him, and talked in a raspy voice that sounded like a shipwreck crashing in the bottom of the sea.
"You have to make a choice Poseidon. We cannot risk Typhon getting out, it would mean extinction for our kind. Your newfound love for balance will have to wait until this situation is resolved."
"How dare you tell me how I should act old man. Remember I am the god of the sea, one of the twelve Olympians, and your ruler. I know what is best for my kingdom."
Growled Poseidon angrily, as his trident caused the floor to shake with fury. Nereus smirked slightly, knowing he reached the god´s weakest spot: his authoritarian nature. No matter how he tried to hide it, Poseidon was infatuated by battle and carnage. And he was going to demonstrate to all the sea that the king still had the will of expanding the realm. A Champion of the sea on earth would create the perfect opportunity to take over the terrestrial plane.
"Leave the sentimentalism aside Poseidon. You have to make a choice. Will you risk the present´s balance to secure the future?"
Everyone looked at the silent god of the sea. Poseidon hated Nereus, but he was right. Balance is not worth it if the future is put in doubt. He had made his choice. As hard as it was, he had to gift a mortal again with divinity. Triton stared worriedly at his father. The advisor knew what his king was capable of, and it scared him. But in the end, the risk had to be worth the benefits. He reached to touch his father´s giant shoulder.
"Father…"
Poseidon then raised his trident, as a powerful twisting current propelled him upwards, going through the open roof and heading for the surface. If his brothers wanted a Champion, they were going to have one. For the sake of the ocean, and the balance of the future.
It was a peculiarly cold day on top of the St. Helena frigate. Ltjg. Gabo Ramirez was making his usual rounds on the top deck, making sure everyone was doing their respective tasks. The young man had joined the navy in hopes of finding some stability in his chaotic life. He had always felt attracted to the sea, its vast expanse offering the peace of mind that a problematic orphaned child needed. Growing up on the coast let him escape very often to meet his secret lover. He got infatuated when he was very young, and his mother was still alive. She took him to the beach every day to collect different treasures like seashells or pieces of broken coral in order to make jewelry out of them. Young Gabo felt proud he was helping support his widowed mother.
His father was a fisherman, but he barely had any memory of him, because he died when Gabo was barely a toddler. His mother told him his fishing ship sank during one of the common hurricanes predating on the beautiful Caribbean coast. But even though the sea had taken one of his progenitors away, Gabo couldn´t help but fall deeper in love with it. As he grew up, money grew tight. His mother tried desperately to provide for her son, so he could go to school and do something with his life. Life pushed her to more desperate means, selling herself so her son could have a future. In the end, things turned out grim for the poor boy.
He still remembered the stormy night when someone knocked on the door of their little apartment. A tall police officer told him the bad news. They found her on a bench close to the harbor. His mother died trying to protect her son. His childhood ended on that instant, and he was thrown down an administrative rabbit hole that turned his life into a living nightmare. He jumped from orphanages to foster homes over and over again. He felt like the world had betrayed him, taking his greatest love away from him. The sweet child turned into a sour teenager, who caused trouble and mischief wherever he went. His only refuge was still the sea. After all that had happened, it was the only place where Gabo felt grounded and alive. After his mother passed away it became his greatest love.
After he miraculously made his way through school, he decided to leave Puerto Rico and enlist in the U.S. navy. He was conscious his life needed to take a turn for the better, so he was mentally prepared for whichever challenge the tough military system was going to throw at him. The problem was, he was not physically ready for them, struggling through the first years of training. A life of chaos had left him with a scrawny underfed body, which was agile enough to get him swiftly out of trouble, but not strong enough to face it.
He remained adamant on his decision, and he endured the painful years of training, swallowing his deep survival instinct of fleeing before he was entirely committed. Gabo was used to swiftly getting out of trouble, thanks to his more cowardly nature. But he studied hard, put his life on track, and was rewarded for it. Now he got to spend a life together with his love, the sea, watching its waves flow into the horizon. A blue paradise extended before him.
Ltjg. Ramirez diverted his gaze from the ocean and went back to realizing his tasks to their full extent. The frigate was on standby close to the arctic sea, between Greenland and Europe, so there wasn´t a lot to do. The wind outside was pretty cold, nothing but dark water and a few small icebergs in the surroundings. He went back into the ship to finish his active shift and get something to eat in the cafeteria.
"Hey, Ramirez! Come here, we´re playing poker. This asshole has been running his mouth about beating you all afternoon!"
Said Lt. March calling him to one of the tables, where some of his crewmates were gathered. The person running his mouth was Lt. Krass. He and March were Ramirez´s superiors, but they had grown to like the mousy kid. His skills in gambling were known on the whole ship and made his crewmates and some of his superiors very interested in testing his skills. Life on the streets had taught him everything he needed to know to be a good gambler, and he had a good poker face to finish his killer combination.
"I can gladly take all your money off of you sir."
Said Ramirez laughing as he sat on the table to play with the cards. Sailors had to enjoy every second of interaction, or else they started suffering some mental issues that came with the constant isolation and lack of new stimuli.
"I´m telling you kid if you didn´t look like a toothpick I would´ve beaten your ass for taking a week´s worth of salary."
Said the much bigger Lt. March in an intimidating way, but just with the right amount of joyfulness to let Gabo know he was joking. He could probably pick the small junior lieutenant and throw him overboard if he felt like it.
"Give him a break March. It´s not his fault you´re a dumb player. Besides, I´ll get that money and will take you to a nice bar with it when we touch land again."
Laughed the equally big Krass punching his mate on the shoulder. In fact, Ramirez was probably the smallest man on board. The 24-year-old barely made the height cut on the recruiting process, and although he had gained some muscle mass from the rigorous training, it wasn´t enough to get close to his crewmate´s giant sizes. But his appearance was what caused his crewmates and superiors to gain a certain fondness for the young recruit. He was the runt of the litter.
After a while of laughing at Krass´s dumbfound expression as Ramirez managed to beat him and take all his money as well, the boys called off the night and everyone was in their chambers by curfew. Ramirez laid on his bed feeling the soft movement of the waves rocking his bed, enjoying the sensation. He thought about his mother and the beach in his childhood, as his memories carried him to deep sleep, completely ignorant of the approaching menace on the cold waters of the ocean.
All sailors woke up at five in the morning, swiftly getting out of bed and lining up to clean themselves. Gabo woke up agitated. He had a strange feeling, but he couldn´t exactly distinguish what was going on. He also had strange dreams that night, about a giant black whale stalking the tumbling frigate, whilst he watched powerlessly from the deck of the ship.
"Not a very good night kid? It must be that guilty conscience for stealing from your favorite superior."
Said Lt. March, who was directly in line in front of him. Ramirez managed to get a nervous laugh out.
"It´s nothing, sir. Just a bad dream."
March looked at him with concern. He really cared for the well being of his subordinates, and he was worried being on the sea for so long was starting to take its toll on the novice sailor. He knew the young junior lieutenant was very passionate about his work, but he was still inexperienced to recognize the effects of long-term isolation.
"Listen Ramirez. I´m your superior, but we´re a team. There´s not a lot to do today, so why don't you take it easy just for a day."
The young recruit smiled broadly at the big man in front of him.
"Thanks, sir, but I can handle work. I know what I signed up for."
Lt. March smiled back, impressed at the discipline of his subordinate. This kid was going to go far he thought, as both made their way into the small shower cabin. While they were undressing, Krass approached March and whispered something to him quietly. Ramirez couldn´t hear a word, but judging by March´s expression it wasn´t good news. Krass then left the bathroom, and March turned around to face Ramirez. His big chest was inches away from Gabo´s face, and his lower part was tightly covered by a small towel.
It wasn´t a secret Ramirez was into both men and women. All his crewmates respected his orientation and felt comfortable around him. So much they didn´t mind parading themselves naked from time to time, testing the young recruit´s self-control. It was harder in the beginning, but now Gabo was used to it, casually having conversations with his fellow naked sailors. He still enjoyed the show, only silently and respectfully. He has had few sexual experiences in the past, but nothing to boast about. Still, his crew was untouchable for him, the comradery far outweighing the lust.
March was another story though. The man sported an impressive physique build through years and years of discipline and hard training. His chest was very prominent, followed by a big muscular gut that was still a couple of inches behind. Powerful arms capable of pulling even the heaviest anchor hung to his side, and tree trunk legs supported the almost 300 pounds man. He was also a good head taller than Ramirez, making the younger sailor a dwarf in comparison. Even though Ramirez tried his best, he couldn´t help but feel a certain level of attraction for the muscular man. After gawking at his superior´s body for enough time, Gabo looked up to hear what he was about to say.
"It seems there is a storm heading our way. It´s gonna be a full day of work after all Ramirez. You´ll get your chance to shine."
Ltjg. Ramirez never faced an open sea storm on his few months on board, so he didn´t know what to expect. A feeling in his gut was telling him to pretend he was sick to stay under the deck, but Gabo was no coward. He was going to do his work and prove why he was there among those big burly men. He finished showering and looked at himself in the mirror.
His dark brown hair was neatly cut in a conscription cut, perfectly square and short. His young face had a scar on his chin product of a street brawl a couple of years ago, but his features still retained the innocent look that came with youth. His beautiful light brown skin was free of any blemishes. His smooth body had slight muscle definition, but more because of little body fat than actual lean mass. He quickly glanced inside the towel to look at his manhood. He couldn´t be disappointed because there were smaller dicks around, but he was nowhere near to someone endowed. He was more like on the average to the low part of the scale. He was feeling good and confident about himself today. Gabo quickly put on his uniform and rushed outside to start his tasks for the day.
He headed up the deck to quickly brush the floors, check the analog temperature measurements and check that the lifeboats were in a good state. People quickly mobilized after news of the storm spread around. The captain made a formal announcement during lunch, telling the crew they should brace for the storm in the early hours of the night. No one seemed to be too scared about it, making their usual jokes and talking loudly lie every day. Still, the feeling in the pit of his stomach was starting to bother Ramirez. He had a bad feeling about today. And as a kid from the street, Gabo knew trusting his feelings was crucial for survival. The nerves were causing him to barely touch his food.
Lt. March noticed the kid staring quietly at his tray. It was unusual for the lively Latin kid to go dead silent, so he approached and sat down next to him.
"Don´t worry kid, it´s just a storm. Occupational hazards. It will be gone sooner than you think."
Even though Ramirez loved the sea, storms were always a cause of anxiety for him. He was reminded that a storm killed his father. And worse of all, a storm was raging the night he found out about his mother. Storms were a bad omen for him. He turned around to face the rugged, but the concerned face of his superior.
"I trust you, sir. It´s just I have a bad history with storms."
"I assure you kid, it´s gonna be a better night than one with you taking all my money."
The light-hearted joke made both men laugh, as the tense aura around Gabo dissipated. He trusted his lieutenant. He saw in him the father figure he never had. They finished eating their meal and dispersed around the ship to finish the preparations for the bad forecast. When the sun started setting down is when the dark clouds started gathering over the frigate. Strong winds pushed everything exposed to the surface, and increasingly agitated waves crashed against the ship, making the most remote corners of the shell creak under the water´s pressure. Ramirez finished his tasks on deck and looked to the horizon for the last time of the day. An ominous dark mass was approaching the ship. Little droplets started falling from the sky. They were the last preface of what was about to come. The junior lieutenant went back under deck quickly as the slow rain turned into a tempestuous downpour.
He found his crewmates in the cafeteria as usual, but there were no games this time. Everyone was eating quietly, expectant of the first order barked through the loudspeakers. March wasn´t there, nor Krass. Ramirez assumed that command was having a meeting about the current situation. He sat down on a corner with his tray, unable to take a bite. All his instincts were telling him to run, to get out of there swiftly, so he could survive. Ramirez was fighting his innate fleeing nature. He kept reassuring himself why he got enlisted, why he was doing everything he was told to. He wanted stability, he craved it. But a part of him didn´t want to leave his past self behind. It was what kept him alive for so long after all. But he couldn´t go back to fleeing from his problem. And most important of all he couldn´t let his crew know he was so scared. Bravery in the face of adversity was a virtue after all. This little sacrifice was for his future self, and no one else.
The sailors left the cafeteria quietly. One by one they retired to their chambers. Ramirez followed his crewmates and was able to go to bed early as he didn´t have any guard shift that night. He zoned out for a while, unable to reach deep sleep. After a few hours, around midnight, the alarm made him jump out of bed and get dressed. He got out of his chambers to see all his crewmates heading for the upper doors. The hallway was lit red, and a reverberating sound echoed through the passages of the frigate. Ramirez tried his best not to fall due to what he assumed was disorientation until the entire crew including him were thrown to the side. He wasn´t dizzy, it was the waves crashing against the ship that caused it to rock back and forth intensively.
When he made it to the upper deck, his fellow sailors were all running to their stations. Many went to prepare the lifeboats, while others reinforced the previously tied up materials so the storm couldn´t blow them again. Ramirez went to his emergency station next to the edge to secure the supplies he was supposed to. The sky was completely painted black, like the furious sea bellow him. Rain poured down intensively, and an icy wind blew with all force against the ship and its crew. Ramirez was freezing, his frail body more exposed thanks to its lack of body mass, and the tempestuous currents kept throwing him around like a little leaf during an autumn breeze.
A big wave crashed against the frigate, making the vessel lean completely to the opposite side. One of the crates on the opposite side of Ramirez got untied and came sliding fast towards the terrified recruit, who was holding on to the rails on the edge for his life. He turned around just on time to see the giant box charging against him, and closed his eyes preparing for the inevitable. He immediately heard his name echo in the distance and felt a powerful pair of hands push him from the back out of the crate´s trajectory. Ramirez looked back just in time to see his protector Lt. March flies off the board into the raging waters below.
"Lt. March!"
Screamed the tearful junior lieutenant. His fear was completely erased in an instant, triggering his quick reaction speed. He grabbed a safety rope next to him and without thinking he threw himself into the mouth of the beast. The black waters of the sea swallowed him whole. The only thing he felt was a bone-chilling sensation taking over his entire body, as he swam in the direction of his superior.
"Kid what are you doing here?! You crazy son of a bitch!"
Said March in a mixture of awe, anger, and gratefulness.
"It´s my duty to protect my crew lieutenant! Quick, grab the rope!"
He handed over the rope to the more experienced March, who started tying a strong knot so the crew could pull them out. Their brief moment of relief ended in an instant, as another giant wave stroke from their side this time, separating the young Ramirez from his lieutenant. The crew started pulling the rope, just to get only March back on board. The big man immediately perched on the edge and frantically searched with his eyes for the young subordinate.
"Ramirez! Ramirez!"
But only darkness remained, with no sight of the young recruit. Meanwhile, Ramirez struggled to swim against a powerful current. He considered himself a good swimmer, having grown close to the water. But no matter how hard he kicked and flailed, the underwater stream kept pulling him downwards. The cold was starting to numb his senses, as he let out a last bubble of breath and his unconscious body was dragged into the infinite abyss.
Ramirez then woke up surrounded by complete darkness. He was laying on a rocky wet floor, dripping wet and feeling breathless. He coughed a couple of times, expelling a good amount of water out of his lungs. He stood up, but couldn't see anything around him. There was no breeze, no sound, absolutely nothing. He was about to take a step when a strong voice made him freeze in his tracks.
"Lt. Ramirez. I´ve been looking for someone like you."
"Who are you? Where am I?"
"Those questions don´t matter anymore child. You´re under my protection, that´s all that matters."
He then heard a resounding metallic sound against the rocky floor and was completely shocked by what he saw. The trident of the god of the sea emitted a powerful glow, which then seeped into the cracks on the bedrock bellow to illuminate Ramirez´s surroundings. He was inside a big air compartment under what it seemed to be the ocean, and in front of him was an extremely muscular man holding a giant trident. Poseidon then approached the young lieutenant, holding up his chin with his strong hand.
"You will do just fine. Your potential is unmeasurable, and you know the meaning of suffering and the price of balance. A noble soul like you will be of great use to me and my realm."
"I have to get back to my ship sir. Please help me, my crew is in danger."
Said Ramirez nervously while he scanned the god in front of him with his eyes. The prominent chest was probably as wide as Ramirez holding both of his arms to his sides, with strong protruding abdominal muscles supporting it. He had the biggest arms he had ever seen, even among the famous bodybuilders he always liked to watch on the internet. His lower body was even more powerful. He was only wearing the lower part of a short white robe, with gold accessories adorning his wrists and belt. Two penetrating blue eyes glowed like the deepest of oceans, set as the highlight of a rugged but beautiful face. The cherry on top was a luscious chestnut-colored beard falling right on top of his upper chest. Poseidon noticed the way this kid was looking at him and smiled broadly. He liked his ego stroked like all the gods.
"The ship was spared. But that passion is what I´m looking for. A loving protector, who is strong enough to crush anything on his way."
He pointed his trident towards the young lieutenant and smiled.
"Meet me on the base of Mount Olympus in Greece by the next full moon. I will grant you the true love of my kingdom, in exchange for your loyalty and strength. I´m counting on you."
A blue light came out of the trident, completely enveloping Ramirez. The cold sensation was gone, together with the exhaustion he felt before regaining consciousness. When the light faded, Poseidon was gone. The air bubble around him started popping, letting water in again. Ramirez was quickly swallowed by the ocean, having only time to briefly hold his breath. Once he could not hold it any longer, he coughed only to find out he was able to breathe normally underwater. He also thought about how he practically was immune to the pressure of the sea above him, not feeling any strain on his body.
He took off his uniform so he could swim better, leaving him only wearing the pair of black boxer shorts he had on, and started exploring his surroundings. The light the trident had infused on the ground remained there and formed a path leading the young sailor forward into the darkness. After swimming for a while, he found the strangest creature he had ever seen. A beautiful horse with the tail of a fish was waiting at the end of the illuminated road. The animal looked at Ramirez, and he immediately knew what he had to do. He floated towards the hippocampus, and rode on its back, grabbing its neck as the animal swiftly swam towards the surface.
He must have been pretty deep thought Ramirez because it took a long time until he saw the weak rays of sunlight replace the absolute darkness he was in before. He could feel the water caressing his body, but it opposed little resistance to the fast creature and the young sailor on top. It also wasn´t cold like before, but getting warmer the more the sea horse carried him through the vastness of the ocean. He was fascinated by its massive expanse and could feel its sheer power pulsating through the water.
They passed all kinds of sea creatures like schools of fishes, dolphins and even a few whales. Ramirez´s connection with the sea grew stronger, together with his love for it. He was so enthralled by the fascinating view in front of him that he missed the sensation the stronger current was causing on his body. The swirling water quickly surrounded him, tying him to the back of the hippocampus and constraining his limbs. Ramirez felt a dull pain product of the waters slowly pulling his limbs and spine further away from each other, rapidly adding inches to his height until the formerly short sailor reached a towering 7 feet height. The pulling didn´t stop there though, as each bone grew to form the canvas for the muscle that was coming in next.
The warm water caressed and massaged each individual muscle, transferring the titanic strength of the ocean to them. The legs holding on to the hippocampus started growing first. It looked like water was being pumped directly into his skin. Quadriceps strong enough to crush rocks between them formed on his upper legs, with edges carving themselves out of the gigantic muscles. His calves were pulled apart and rearranged by the current until two diamond-shaped calves replaced the former toothpick lower legs. His feet grew even bigger for a man his size, necessary for the swift propulsion underwater. The growth moved to his butt cheeks, the sensation finally making Ramirez aware of what was happening to him. He felt a strong cramp in his ass, as both glutei raised further and further from the back of the sea horse. His underwear strained to the maximum under the pressure of the new watermelon-sized ass cheeks.
Ramirez watched his lower body turn into the one of a card-carrying professional bodybuilder. The sensations invading his body were too intense for him to remain calm. He felt incredible awe for the creatures that were crossing through his sight. He felt the warm and pleasurable caress of the water on his body. He felt the strong rocking of the hippocampus´ swimming. And he felt a crushing pain as the pressure in the water reformed his body. He let go of the creature to grab his stomach in pain. He felt like the water was suctioning each individual brick in his abdomen out, and he was quickly left with a powerful eight pack cut into his midsection. His Adonis belt protruded out of his sides, and his serratus muscles carved themselves so deep it looked like the man had developed gills.
Ramirez then felt the current push him from the back of the sea horse, and the sailor fell to the back watching the creature swim away from him. He immediately began swimming trying to reach it, but his newly developed lower body still moved clumsily lacking the coordination needed to move such a heavy mass. Ramirez focused all of his strength on reaching the hippocampus when suddenly a strong water current propelled him forward and he was able to reach the creature. He then realized he was practically flying underwater, enjoying the freedom of moving like a torpedo through the ocean. He swam graciously together with the hippocampus, both dancing synchronized to the rhythm of the waters.
Small whirlpools formed around his brown nipples, sending waves of pleasure through the man and increasing their size to fit into the new gigantic chest that was about to come. His pectoral muscles squared on the lower end, and then pushed further out inflating like two water mattresses. The water was putting so much pressure on his upper body the sailor felt his bones were going to get crushed. Ramirez was left with a herculean chest powerful enough to fight the roaring waves of a tsunami. His shoulders were next, as each deltoid inflated bigger than cannonballs with enough strength to lift an anchor above his head.
He then felt the current pull his arms so hard he thought they were going to be ripped apart. The pressure in his muscles made him wince in pain, while his triceps dripped and grew like marlin´s dorsal fin, pushing the former noodles to the sides of his body, and his biceps inflated like water balloons about to pop due to their sheer size. Massive sinews formed on his upper arms, and his hands grew massively muscular, wide enough to push large amounts of water on a single stroke.
He examined both of his new arms when a cramp in his back made him bend forward and scream in pain. He felt the water vibrating on his spine, spreading the sensation to every muscle like a flare. The upper back started extending and rounding up like a turtle shell, and the lats on each side protruded so far, he looked more like a giant T instead of a V. His back was by far the strongest muscle on his body, designed to propel the new man through the chaotic waters with ease.
The current then swirled around his neck, starting to choke him. The traps raised to connect to his ears and complete the growth of the monstrous back. He could hear his grumble grow lower as his neck expanded with muscle, leaving his head looking like a tiny pin on a godly body. The pain was overwhelming the young sailor. He opened his mouth to let out a painful scream when suddenly water flowed into his body with intensity. Veins started popping out of his limbs, improving the oxygen saturation, and therefore endurance for the giant.
Large veins popped on his lower abdomen, and then he felt an excruciating pressure pushing behind his manhood. His penis then started inflating, far surpassing the limits of the already strained underpants, which were ripped off by the strong currents. His newly improved appendage kept growing and pulsing so much, Ramirez thought it was going to explode. It stopped growing at almost a foot in length, and a jaw-breaking girth. It looked like a glass bottle that was hanging from his legs. His balls were next, inflating to an equine size and falling heavy between his monstrous legs.
Male hormones combined with divine power started flowing through his body, boosted by the invading water current inside of him. He felt a cracking pressure on his head, which grew proportional to the new body size. His angular face grew more masculine, his jaw broadening into a thick square, and his brow pushing further over his eyes giving him a menacing look. His nose then cracked and widened, while his lips plumped a bit more. His already short dark brown hair retreated into his scalp, leaving him with a short buzz cut. The amount of testosterone in his body was so high, his hairline receded a little bit. His face was then invaded by a permanent shadow with the potential of growing a thick beard. The rest of his body sucked in his body hair, leaving his smooth. His beautiful brown skin darkened a bit more. His pores then started producing a small amount of oil, that gave him a shiny look and helped him oppose little resistance to the forces of the sea, making underwater travel far easier.
The current then stopped forcing its way into his body and released his limbs from their invisible shackles. Ramirez started touching his body incredulously, incapable of dimensioning the change he just went through. He felt the raw power of the sea pulse within him. He touched his face and felt his young skin under his fingers. His scar was gone too. The sight of the new man might have been bizarre, due to him still looking young despite his overwhelming masculinity. Ramirez was so distracted by his new body, that he missed the waters getting slowly more superficial and the hippocampus turning around and leaving back into the abyss.
The sailor propelled himself further into the shallowing waters when he was suddenly greeted by the figure of a beautiful young man sitting on an underwater rock. He couldn´t be older than the junior lieutenant, although his presence and demeanor felt older than civilization itself. His long hair flowed along with the current, glistening with silver light. He had the carved body of an Olympic swimmer, with defined and strong limbs made to love underwater and a very wide back developed from physical activity in the sea. He was also completely smooth, the only hair on his body remaining on his head, eyebrows, and long eyelashes. He beamed a white smile as radiant as the sun at the stranger.
Ramirez approached the young Adonis with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Even though his sexual experience was limited, he was very familiar with the feelings of lust invading his body. Only this time, they were overwhelmingly strong, almost clouding his entire conscience. The man got up from the rock and touched Gabo´s muscular chest.
"Father was right, you turned out better than expected."
He had a melodious hypnotic voice almost too beautiful to be coming out of a hunk like him. Ramirez looked down at the man caressing his body. His knees shook nervously, while he let himself be seduced by the apparition before him. But something in his mind suddenly snapped. He felt the pressure from before again, only this time inside his thoughts as if the water was rinsing the old cowardly nature of the sailor. For some reason, the situation didn´t feel right. He was the one supposed to be doing the seduction, not the other way around.
He took the young man from his legs and pulled him close to his body raising him to his same height. He then proceeded to passionately make out with the stud, both their tongues dancing in each other's mouth. Ramirez felt like sea spume was filling his head, making it harder and harder to focus. He started losing his grip on reality. Like waves carving and molding the strong rocks underneath, the magical power carved out a new man out of the young sailor. More and more dominance asserted itself into his persona, replacing the old more submissive nature. His body language was a dead giveaway of what was happening in his mind.
The sea hunk noticed how his lover´s kiss started to grow more aggressive, invading his mouth with a strong tongue. His big hands started squeezing the young man´s ass, ways of pleasuring a person during sex being engraved in his memory. Years of experience pushed their way into the new man, his face growing more rugged with lines of age and his body gaining more thickness that comes with years of labor. His giant manhood was already grown at full mast, stroking the cheeks of his prey like a sea serpent just before attacking and spreading his self-produced oil on his skin. The young man then guided the hard rod to the entrance of his body, pushing down ever so slightly to get the head in.
The hunk had been with many lovers before, but this was still considered to be a very big phallus. He carefully slid down in order to accommodate the muscular man´s size inside of him. Ramirez kept fighting the tide inside his head. He was scared of changing, of letting go of who he was. A part of him still wanted to flee and pretend none of this had happened. But remembering his hometown beach stopped his train of thought. He remembered the beautiful waters shining in the sunlight, of all the creatures dependent on them, from little crabs on the beach to the big metropolis of the world. The ocean´s ecosystem was the most important one in the world, and it had to be protected. The love he felt for the sea turned into a massive tidal wave inside of him that finally broke down all his mental barriers and completely dragged his old personality out of existence. He didn´t have to flee anymore, he possessed the strength to break the earth and part the ocean. He could destroy anything that got in his way of protecting what he loved.
Ltjg. Gabo Ramirez was reborn in the form of Gabriel, the name his mother had originally given him, and the new protector of the sea. The last bits of his personality evaporating like the sea breeze under the scorching sun. His young lover watched in awe as the eyes of the titan started to glow, and a deep blue color washed his former brown irises away. Once his manhood had entered the hunk completely, he started thrusting back and forth with the strength to shake the earth. He was a god among men, and he had the right to be pleased. Still, he liked to share the pleasure with his lovers, and care for them. He liked feeling like the strong protector he was born to be. The young sea hunk smiled broadly knowing the transformation was complete, and let himself be completely dominated and pleased by the titan inside of him.
The sun was already setting when Gabriel came out of the warm waters. He wasn´t in the frosty northern sea anymore but the warm coasts of southern Greece. He was only wearing the bikini strap the young hunk had given him once they parted ways, along with a kiss and the promise of meeting him again. Gabriel looked at the vast sea before him and smiled. He was going to do whatever it took to protect his new home. He was going to honor his Lord´s will by conquering and crushing anything in his way. He still had a couple of days before the full moon, which should be enough to get to Mount Olympus. He then thought about all the life and all the pleasure he could have on his way. He was going to bless a lot of mortals with his sexual prowess. He took one last deep breath before heading inland, his nostrils filling with the salty smell of the sea breeze along with his own radiating masculine scent, his skin shimmering under the setting sun. The giant then disappeared into the prairie, ready for whatever challenge the world may throw at him.
In the distance sitting next to a cliff was Nereus, watching the newly chosen one walk towards his destiny. He found the Olympians obnoxious, but he had to admit they did a pretty fine handiwork. The new man looked like he jumped out of a perverted fever dream, with enough power to shatter the earth with each step.
"He really does feel like he looks, father."
A joyful voice said on the back. Nereus turned around to see his own son Nerites staring playfully at him. The young god loved to play around but was filled with respect for his father. The beautiful merman smiled broadly at the old man, who gave him an approving nod.
"Well done son. I knew Poseidon needed a little push. I´m glad to see his opus got your sign of approval."
"It´s going to be an interesting time after all. Life is just fun."
Said Nerites enthusiastically as both gods stared into the distance wondering about the Olympian´s intricate rivalries and plots in the sky.
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Rika Kihira - Canon interview
original interview here.
Rika Kihira interviewed by Mika Noguchi
“I will spend this off-season being strict to myself so I can believe in myself at the Olympics.”
Rika Kihira, successfully landed the quad Salchow jump at the Japan Nationals. She finished in 7th place at the World Championship, but she had finished 2nd after her good performance for the SP.
She has turned this bitter experience into motivation for further improvement. And she has already started to move forward.
Q: You have entered Waseda University and enrolled in the department of Human Science this April. Is there any research field that you are interested in, or (do you have) a goal as a college student?
I have a strong desire to do any research that is related to my skating after all. That is the reason why I chose this specific field so I can use my research for my skating. Unfortunately, I couldn't attend the entrance ceremony because it was right after I had returned from the World Championship, and the classes have already started from April.
I enjoy studying about the relation of children’s health and environment to their athletic ability. Unlike adults, there are still some areas for children where their thinking does not function. So this is the area we analyze what kind of behaviours they would do and how do they improve their athletic ability.
Q: In terms of the environment for children’s physical activity, would you think it’s possible to apply your own life experience that you have been trying various sports from childhood?
I haven’t thought about making use of my childhood experience yet, but I feel that I am experimenting with my own body and that leads to my daily research. When I check my body condition such as fatigue, various movements and success rate of jumps and compare them to previous data, I often have my aha! moment by that. So I would like to do research that can be used for skating in future.
Q: The fact that you are experimenting with your own body is something that only top athletes can do. What kind of research do you want to apply to skating specifically?
After all, I want to think about my jumps theoretically. I'd like to do something like graphing and analyzing things that can be quantified, such as the changes of heart rate while skating the program, the difference between when I’m tired or energized, and how does the quality of sleep affect my performance—things like that.
If properly converted into data and accumulated, you can objectively see what you have experienced in the competition and then you can understand the reason and meaning of success and mistakes.
I haven't fully understood the university system yet, so I would like to look for an opportunity to find out how to conduct a study with my own body effectively.
Q: It has been an unusual season that you were training in Switzerland as your main training base in the middle of the pandemic.
There were times when I struggled to keep my motivation high. Because all the competitions I had planned to attend got cancelled until last December, I didn’t have any chance to show what I had been training for and I also didn’t get to do intense training.
There was also a time when I couldn't enjoy training because there had been no chance to feel a sense of accomplishment. But the training environment in Switzerland was very good in that I could naturally have a feeling of gratitude. I could somehow manage to let the difficult time go by with that feeling (of gratitude).
Q: It seems that your life in Switzerland gives you a very positive effect, doesn’t it Kihira-san?
I usually felt stressed before the competitions, thinking about the competitions all the time or connecting every single thing happening to negative feelings and thinking, “Oh...I don’t think I can make it at the competition either.” But now I feel that the current environment in Switzerland made me think more positively.
During the off season especially, the training was very difficult, so I didn't have to worry if I wasn't doing my best. Each day I started feeling a sense of accomplishment when I felt my whole body was exhausted (after the training). Although we had a very intense training menu, it wasn’t so difficult to push myself together with my friendly team mates while being surrounded by nature in Switzerland.
Q: You landed the quad Salchow jump for the first time at the Japan Nationals last December. With this success, was there any change to your mind about going into the World Championship?
It was difficult for me to gain confidence about myself so easily just because I had landed a quad jump for once. So I wasn't really able to feel excited for the World Championship. But when I arrived in Stockholm and entered the venue, I felt like "I've done what I could do and I want to show what I've been training in front of everyone naturally”.
Q: At Worlds, you landed triple Axel jump and had a good start with 2nd after SP.
I was determined to perform with gratitude for many people who supported me until now. I received all the support from my coaches, my fans, and my family. I had no choice but to show my gratitude there when I went to jump (the triple Axel). And I also wanted to confirm my love for figure skating by landing the jump successfully at the competition.
Q: Only a few female skaters have been able to do both triple Axel and other quad jumps. Do you find it (being able to jump 3A and quads) significantly difficult?
Actually, the triple Axel is more difficult to stabilize since it is a kind of jump that really depends on the ice condition. So the timing for the jump take-off may easily change because of the position of the blades or the softness of the ice.
And the quad Salchow on the other hand, I do feel it is relatively stable even at the different rinks. So I think that the triple Axel is a slightly unique jump.
Q: Is there any difficulty in balancing the two types of these difficult jumps?
I don't think the triple Axel is becoming [more] difficult after I've landed the quad Salchow. But as I practiced it more, I found that jumping triple Axel followed by quadruple Salchow in one program is difficult compared to just doing each jump alone.
I think the fact that there are only a few female skaters who can do both types of jumps is because they tend to get mixed up on how to use their body for each jump.
For me, if I continue my training everyday so that I can do run-through without any mistakes, there will be less difficulties to do these jumps.
Q: There were expectations for you to challenge the quad Salchow and the triple Axel for FP at the World Championship.
I was practicing the quad Salchow during the official practice in the morning practice on the day of the free program. But soon after the official practice, they switched the rink for FP from the sub rink to the main rink. (t/n: it seemed that official practice was held at the sub rink that was supposed to be used for FP.) Accordingly, I only had 6 minutes practice for the last chance to adjust myself to the ice. I thought I couldn’t make it in time so I decided to go with two triple Axels instead of a quad Salchow (and a triple Axel).”
It was difficult for me to adjust to the ice in just 6 minutes, but I think there will be such a situation at the Olympics. In order to jump the quad Salchow and the triple Axel at the competition, I really felt the importance of the training to adjust myself immediately in just 6 minutes.
Q: What kind of training do you want to do in order to adjust yourself and be able to jump both the quad and the triple Axel in just 6 minutes?
I was always checking my jumps starting from triples (and then quads) in order during 6 minutes practice, but at the World Championship, 6 minutes ended when I just finished checking my triple Axels twice.
As I’m including the quad jump into my program regularly, I feel that I need my triple jumps to be ready for the performance without having to check on them during the 6 minutes practice. I would like to do more training to increase the stability of triple jumps on a daily basis.
Q: You mentioned that you did well with your mental control at the World Championship.
Yes. I think I was able to relax rather than feel nervous. From my experience, I started to understand that I’m unable to perform well when I'm nervous, so I feel that I've figured out how to concentrate and relax clearly.
Q: Is it quite different from the way you concentrated before?
For example, if I’m getting nervous and wondering if I can really jump during the waiting time, I would move my whole face and say “A, I, U, E, O” to loosen my face muscles, and then I also laugh at myself. This is something that I do to turn my anxiety into excitement, and my nervousness into laughter.
Also, in order to avoid being nervous right before my performance, I usually skate with this image of all judges sitting in their position, and think “how would it be if this is the real competition?” during the official performance.
Q: After the World Championship, many of your comments were very positive, weren’t they?
I definitely think it’s better not to get depressed and think like, "I’m not good at everything.” And I’m very positive about the fact that I'd been training really hard to increase the stability of quad jumps for the competitions.
I remember that my body movement was better during the morning practice on FP day and my performance was better than SP.
And two days after the competition, my condition was getting better again and I could pull myself together. Of course I have the regret that I couldn't get a good result, but now I want to think about what was wrong and what was good, and move forward positively while reflecting on it.
Q: Please tell us about your programs in future. Your SP’s one-handed cartwheel was getting so much attention this season. Do you have any plans for the next season already?
Right now, I’m planning to keep my SP "The Fire Within", but I will change my FP "Baby, God Bless You" to something else. I really love my FP’s music this season, the birth of life was its theme. It was a beautiful program and also had good flow to it, so I tried to express the beauty of the music by a sense of speed of skating.
For the Olympics, I am planning to create a program with good speed and also some parts where I can go slow and take a good rest.
I really want to work hard on expressing the emotion through (my) facial expression so the audience will understand the program effortlessly, like a story being told, connected from beginning to end.
Also, it is important not to make any mistakes even if I put in difficult jumps, so I want to make sure to have a part where I can calmly adjust myself before going into the second half of the program. So I want my new program to have some sort of accent (for the rhythm of music and choreography).
Q: What kind of training do you want to do during this off-season?
First of all, intense body training. I’m planning to go over my competitive programs (SP&FS) when I will practice the show programs during the upcoming ice shows from spring till summer.
In order not to waste my time until the Beijing Olympics, I want to think about the Olympics every day and make sure to do intense training when my physical condition is good.
By spending the (off-season) time being strict to myself in this way, I can believe in myself by thinking, "I've been doing my best for the Olympics" at the moment of my performance at the Olympics. So I want to spend this off-season being strict for myself.
Q: For the Olympics, many people (media) will focus on how you would fight against the Russian skaters.
At the World Championship, I felt that the Russian skaters were able to perform their best at the very right timing (competition). But right now, I think there’s no need to compare myself with somebody else, the result from this competition came from the fact that I couldn’t perform what I could usually do.
It’s not that I have some parts that need to be improved compared to other people, but I could find a lot of my own challenges. I want to overcome them before going into the Olympics.
You may make a big mistake if you keep trying at random, just because you are way behind the Russian players.
If someone will do quintuple jumps, I wonder if I would go for quint jumps, that's not the case. I believe that it will eventually show in the scores if I keep doing what I can do right now.
I did feel that the Russian ladies skaters are strong, but I just want to calmly analyze my situation and keep doing my best every day.
In April 2021, remotely during the quarantine period after returning to Japan
thank you to Fukuhana for translating and to Sunny for proofreading and editing the interview.
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Savageries of the Heart Chapter 6; Heritage
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d59a5b1c23fcc319cc26effd7c9353bb/7c5707635852d47c-e7/s540x810/feb615e40f2951cc108bdfa4a543473353319d4e.jpg)
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Chapter rating: T Overall Rating: E
Noodle turned out to be quite the escape artist, if the flickering of a forked tongue against her chin was any indication. Zelda’s giggle swiftly turned into a yawn. Noodle wriggled into her hair until Zelda lifted her head so the serpent could take her usual space coiled around her neck.
“Good morning, Dove,” Link cooed softly, kissing her shoulder as she sat up.
“Good morning,” she said with a stretch. She leaned on Link’s shoulder to look down at the slate in his hands. “What are you doing?”
“I’m just looking through some of the messages that piled up over our honeymoon,” he said, tapping out a reply to his latest missive. Zelda’s brow wrinkled.
“Don’t you do that in your office?”
“I could do it in our office,” he admitted, and Zelda felt him smile against her cheek, “but that would mean leaving you here to wake up alone, and that wouldn’t be very hospitable, would it?”
She grinned and shook her head.
“What’s on the agenda for today?” she asked, booping Noodle’s nose. Link clicked out of his messages and brought up a schedule.
“I don’t have many appointments today, so I thought I’d give you a tour.”
Walking through her new home felt like walking through a dream. Her breath steamed in front of her, even though Zelda fel perfectly comfortable, if not warm. Her bare feet walked across frozen stone floors as Link led her through chambers carved into the mountain. It was a surreal feeling, walking next to walls of solid ice, light filtering through in tendrils onto the floor. On her other side was a line of doors. Curious, she opened one, and was surprised to find a bedroom.
“For guests?” she asked, though she couldn’t imagine that many would willingly stay in a frozen abode such as theirs. Link shook his head.
“Children,” he clarified, then caught himself, “Not that we need them! I mean-” he sighed, “I didn’t marry you to pump out heirs. That’s not how we do things.”
“It’s how my family does things,” Zelda said. She wouldn’t say that she was a natural born mother, but there was this vengeful feeling that had grown over the years that was determined to continue her line, even if it was just to prove she could. Zelda ran her eyes down her husband’s figure. At the very least she had a strong set of genes to work with.
“In any case, It’s the one thing I can do to honor my family, making sure the weakest link doesn’t break the chain.”
Link paused then, turning to look her in the eyes. There was a tragic look in his eyes that would make Zelda bristle were it not for the rage burning quietly behind the melancholy.
“Is that how you see yourself?”
Zelda looked down, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze.
“It’s how my people see me.”
“I wouldn’t count on that.”
She looked up at him, a question on her lips, before he cleared his throat. “I think breakfast should be ready by now. Let’s go eat.”
An moment later, Zelda was seated at the table for breakfast, which gave Link an opportunity to help her settle into her new home and give her a brief explanation of what would be expected of her as a Warden’s wife. As a Mother of the Zonai she would be expected to handle domestic affairs. This included holding audiences and coordinating joint efforts between regions among other housekeeping tasks, handling the finances and presiding over festivals and rituals and whatnot. The Dragonlands were the political center of the Zonai, and marrying its Warden meant that she had an additional responsibility of leading an organization based on the Temple Mesa.
“Wait a moment,” Zelda held up a hand, “You mean to tell me the Hands of Hylia is a Zonai organization?”
The Hands of Hylia was a renowned charity that gathered resources from across Hyrule to redistribute them when needed. Their quick response to epidemics, famines, and other such disasters quickly earned them the reputation of the kingdom’s greatest first responders. Her uncle had poured a generous amount of money to the administration, if only to claim a portion of the glory and saving the castle embarrassment for it’s slow response time.
“I don’t understand. What’s the point in helping a nation that looks down on you so?”
Link leaned back, considering before putting his thoughts to words.
“You know the Sheikah once served the Hyrulean royal family,”
“I did,” Zelda nodded, “Because of Hylia’s blood.”
“Yes, but that’s not all. The Sheikah value knowledge, and so they served Hylia’s daughters, paragons of wisdom before they were usurped by their fathers.”
“What does this have to do with the Zonai?”
“Because the Zonai follow the Hero. At least, we follow his example.”
“I’m sorry, what ‘Hero’?”
Link gave her a quizzical look, “The Hero, the one in all of the stories.”
Zelda shook her head, drawing a blank.
“You really don’t know? No one told you? What about the history books?”
“My uncle had all the history books burned shortly after he took the throne,” Zelda said, in a trance, “Anything that referenced Hyrule’s matrilineal line was disposed of.”
Link cursed before getting up and taking her hand, pulling Zelda as he walked to the same alcove they materialized in the night before. He pressed a button, and they were gone in a flash of light,
Zelda expected her feet to form on top of the sandy beach, not the stone worn smooth by eons pressing against her skin like a well trodden path. Her gasp echoed over towering walls etched with a procession of men and women making their way towards the biggest statue of Hylia she had ever seen.
Zelda felt all at once so small yet nostalgic in a way that drove her forward, paying no thought to her bare feet and the casual slip hanging from her shoulders.
She had a place here, and she felt secure in this undeniable, instinctive sense of unity that swelled in her chest and seeped into her bones.
“What is this place?” she whispered.
“They call the Temple of Time the birthplace of Hyrule, but this,” Link gestured to the massive statue “Is where your bloodline began, when the Goddess Hylia came down to earth and brought her light to the land.”
Zelda walked with him as he led her over the uneven stone, wrapping her arms around his right. After years of precious little physical touch, going to be with her husband had been the release of a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding, and found herself gravitating towards Link, who seemed more than receptive to her advances, holding her hand tightly in his while they walked upon the stone. They walked in revered silence until they finally reached the statue. Link took her hand and pressed it against the smooth folds of the Goddess’ robe.
A gasp fell from her lips, there was a hum that resonated in her chest, causing her heart to flutter. Link’s skin burned against hers, and she felt this surge of affection for him that felt much older than their marriage.
“Hylia’s line has survived for thousands, if not millions of years, surviving famine, disease, and several wars. Do you really think it can be extinguished so easily?”
Zelda shook her head.
“No.”
“Then we agreed,” he said, hooking an arm around her and bringing his slate around, “Now let’s go home.
Zelda had been sitting at her new desk when her translator began to chime. She glanced at her slate to see who it was.
Owlan (Resting Father of the Dragonlands)
“Owlan?” she said when the call connected. Was there anyone in Hyrule that wasn’t a Zonai in disguise?
“Hello Mother Zelda. I thought I’d see how you were settling in, and I wanted to say that you can call me anytime if you need some pointers for your new position. I was in your shoes quite some time ago.”
“Thank you, that means a lot,” she said, before clearing her throat, “How are things in the castle?”
“As you likely expected, Prince Nohansen wasted no time in commanding your old room to be refurbished for his occupancy.”
“What was wrong with his old one?” she asked. Owlan chuckled.
“It wasn’t yours, of course,” was his snide reply, “You should know the Commissioner returned from his sabbatical, he kicked up quite a fuss when he heard of your nuptials.”
“Really?” there was no love lost between Zelda and the Commissioner. Her uncle’s right hand man was adamant that she spend her days in the castle’s shadow rather than lend her talents to worthier pursuits. “You’d think he’d be glad to get rid of me.”
Owlan hummed thoughtfully, “I’m concerned he may know more about the Zonai than he’s letting on.”
“I could say the same of you,” Zelda quipped, she got a chuckle for her efforts.
“Fair enough. How are you adjusting to your new position?”
“I’m still a bit overwhelmed, but well enough considering the Zonai’s true nature,” she admitted, dragging her finger over her desk’s surface. A list of ingredients she’d ordered scrolled at her touch. Zelda had made her order hours ago, but still fiddled with the giant screen. The novelty of it all hadn’t quite worn off yet. “I must admit, the bath was divine. I’ve never seen such a lovely room.”
“I wouldn’t know, so I’ll take your word for it.”
That gave Zelda pause.
“But weren’t you Father of the Dragonlands?”
“The requirement for being a Zonai Caretaker is a family tie with the region’s Warden, what kind doesn’t really matter. It could be a parent and child, cousins, even best friends, if they sign an oath to one another. I’ve never had much interest in romantic relationships myself, but I was more than willing to support my sister as she watched over the land. In fact, I think you’re actually the first Mother who married in for quite some time.”
“Is that right?” Zelda asked. It seemed the older her marriage grew, the stranger it became. And then, before her eyes, strings of light condensed in front of her.
“What is it?” Owlan asked when he heard her gasp. Zelda shook her head.
“Just more Zonai wonders I have to get used to.”
Owlan blew out a laugh, “I can imagine. I’ll let you get back to the intricacies of Zonai culture. Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. I’m at your service, Mother of the Dragonlands.”
The call disconnected. Zelda shook her head ruefully, looking at the piles of fruit and herbs within her reach. With a swipe of her hand, the recipe for the Zonai body paint was on screen. She reached for the nearest Armoranth.
It was time she got to work.
#link#zelink#zelda#loz botw#loz#legend of zelda#botw#botw zelink#legend of zelda breath of the wild#botw link#LantanaLore#zelink fanfiction
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Stark Spangled Banner
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ff7eae330f7548b79a69320165f01cd1/9a96408cde981540-95/s400x600/277d0ddbd7b0222ca72db1aaf422e64fa241038c.jpg)
Ch22: I Don’t Like People Touching My Stuff
Summary: The Avenger’s search for the sceptre reaches a dramatic conclusion meaning Katie and Steve finally get the breathing place to start planning their future. But when another girl takes a rather obvious shine to Steve, Katie is not particularly pleased…
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark
Warnings: Bad language, Smut (NSFW) No Under 18.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark
A/N: And so we head into Part 4 which covers the Age Of Ultron and surrounding time period for Katie and Steve- HENCE THE NEW BANNER!!! And this edit has to be my favourite to date. @angrybirdcr you are a genius!
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Chapter 21
Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist
April 2015.
It was apparent when The Avengers landed in the snow-covered forest that this was the heaviest guarded base they had hit in the 6 months they had been searching for Loki’s Sceptre. The guards were positioned a mile out, complete with barbed wire fences and road blocks and the minute Thor, Tony and Katie took off from the back of the jet all hell had broken loose. This was instantly a Code Green, and Banner transformed into the huge Hulk and with his help the group managed to commandeer a jeep and a motorcycle, Natasha driving the jeep supported by Clint and Steve was on the bike, obviously.
One of the HYDRA agents managed to leap up at the side of Steve and he swerved sharply to the left, landing a kick to his chest, knocking him away. The Captain surged the bike forward as another Soldier ran towards him and he leant over and grabbed his leg, dragging him along before tossing him into another approaching hostile, knocking them both unconscious. As he continued he flung his shield forward where it bounced off a tree along with a few more Hydra soldiers before he caught it again and secured it on his back, swerving the bike to avoid another oncoming jeep. The Hulk caught said offending jeep and tossed it aside easily, before continuing on his own rampage
Ahead of Steve, Katie shot downwards so she was 3 feet at most off the snow covered forest floor and spiralled straight into a group of soldiers like a bowling bowl into a set of pins, scattering them across the ground.
“STRRRRIIIKKKEEE!” she heard Tony quip and she laughed as The Avengers began to advance on the barricade that was the only defence left from keeping them out of the base. Steve sped his bike up, propelling himself over the barbed wire after Tony and Katie, Natasha swerved the truck behind him hard to the left and her and Clint jumped out, legs extended, kicking anyone they came into contact with.
“Up high Kiddo…” Tony called and the siblings sped forward, taking out a few more in their path before climbing up towards the base. Katie closed in, but suddenly hit a force field, which reverberated and sent her spiralling off to the side.
“Shit!” She exclaimed, righting herself whilst she looked round
“Language,” Steve reprimanded, the familiar joke telling-off slipping past his lips without him really thinking about it. “JARVIS what’s the view from upstairs?”
“The central building is protected by some kind of, energy shield.” JARVIS responded easily through the communication devices. “Strucker’s technology is well beyond anything of a HYDRA base we’ve taken.”
“Loki’s sceptre must be here,” Thor said as Steve saw him swing his hammer, fighting off more Hydra soldiers. “Strucker couldn’t mount this defence without it. At long last.”
“At long last is lasting a little long, guys.” Katie’s voice echoed along with the sound of her beams as she aimed them at another bunch of soldiers who were shooting at her and Tony from the top of the fortress.
"Yeah,” Clint scoffed “I think we lost the element of surprise.”
“Wait a second,” Tony interrupted, “Is no one going to deal with the fact that Cap just said ‘language’?”
“I know,” Steve sighed speeding head on in the direction of one of the trucks. He pulled the brakes on the bike, launching himself forwards, his hands on the handlebars throwing the bike over his head watching it crash into the truck. “It just slipped out.” He finished with a sigh. It had been a joke, but he knew full well the joke was going to be on him now.
“Sir, the city is taking fire.” JARVIS informed them as Katie dodged the fire that was being aimed at them from the top of the fortress
“Well we know Strucker isn’t going to worry about civilian casualties,” Tony responded, “Send in the Iron Legion.”
“How do we get this force field down?” Katie asked
“There has to be a source.” Tony mused, as they circled the fortress again. “JARVIS…” “Working on it, Sir.”
“Clint!” Natasha’s frantic shout made both Tony and Katie pause, and that pause cost her as a flash hit the side of her suit and sent her ricocheting to the side, colliding heavily with one of the walls of the fortress. Her suit clanged heavily with the force-field and she once more dinged off the side.
“We have an enhanced in the field.” Steve reported, as Katie shook her head, flying back up after Tony.
“Clint’s hit.” Natasha spoke again “Somebody wanna’ deal with that bunker?”
Katie looked down, scanning to find where Natasha was referring to but before she could do anything the Hulk gave a mighty roar and she turned to see him crash through it.
“Thank you.” Nat spoke again.
“Stark,” Steve grunted, and Katie turned her head to see he was fighting half a dozen or so agents. She shot towards them, taking two down with her repulsors as Steve’s shield flew from his arm in an arc and connected with another two. “We really need to get inside.”
“I’m closing in.” Tony responded as Katie landed by Steve, shooting at another soldier. More were approaching and as she shot and flew at them, she heard Tony’s triumphant voice in her ear. “Drawbridge is down people.”
Thor landed nearby with a flourish of lightening that took down the last set of soldiers for now. “The enhanced?” He questioned as Katie slid back her face plate.
“He’s a blur,” Steve said as he jogged towards them. “With all the new players we’ve faced I’ve never seen this. In fact, I still haven’t.”
“Clint’s hit pretty back guys,” Natasha’s concerned voice came through coms again, “We’re gonna need evac.”
“I can get Barton to the jet, the sooner we’re gone the better.” Thor glanced around. “You two and Stark secure the sceptre”
“Copy that.” Steve responded.
Katie looked around and suddenly noticed that a line of soldiers were approaching, with a tank directly behind them.
“Errrr boys…”
Thor and Steve both looked around and Thor titled his head to one side, curiously.
“Hmmm looks like they’re lining up.” He said,
“Well they’re excited.” Steve huffed holding up his shield and bracing himself while Katie took a step back and ducked. Thor brought his hammer down on the shield where the force reverberated off and hit the soldiers knocking them all down. A perfectly executed move, fresh from the training room.
“Find the sceptre.” Thor instructed, taking off.
“And for gosh sake’s watch your language.” Tony exclaimed sarcastically into the coms.
“That’s not going away anytime soon.” Steve sighed, looking at Katie. Even though half his face was obscured by his helmet she could see the look of exasperation on his face and grinned.
“Yeah, Tony is gonna bring that up at every opportunity he gets” she shrugged as they began to make their way to the entrance of the building.
**** Katie looked at her brother who was staring at the console of the jet, a faraway look in his eyes.
“You sure you’re alright Tone?” she asked him
“Yeah just you know, little bit relieved it’s done…finally” he said, flicking some more switches. Whilst Katie wasn’t sure she believed him, she knew she wasn’t going to get anything else out of him at the moment so she stood up and made her way over to her fiancée who was now stood with Thor, the pair of them looking at the Sceptre.
“So you think what powers this is a similar force to the tesseract?” Steve asked, breaking the silence between the two men who had, up until that point simply been staring at the thing, unable to believe they had it. He moved his arm gently, as Katie slid comfortably underneath it, dropping a kiss to the side of her head but other than that his attention was fully on Thor.
“Yes.” Thor pondered, his fingers skating over the glass it was encased in. “The power they both give off is immeasurable…”
“Thor!” came Nat’s voice loudly, and all 3 of them turned to face her “Report on the Hulk.”
“Oh, err the gates of Hell are filled with the screams of his victims.” Thor smiled, raising his fist triumphantly but dropped it when Nat turned to look at him in disbelief as Katie hit him on the arm. Steve supressed a smile, looking upwards whilst shaking his head, both his hands dropping to his buckle.
“But not the screams of the dead,” Thor spoke again, quickly trying to correct himself as Bruce put his head in his hands and groaned as Nat shot the God another filthy look “Of course. No, no, wounded screams. Mainly whimpering, a great deal of complaining and tales of sprained deltoids and errr gout.”
“Gout?” Katie looked at him as Steve shook besides her with supressed mirth.
“What?” Thor shrugged and was about to open his mouth again but thankfully he was interrupted by Tony.
“Hey, Banner, Dr. Cho is on her way in from Seoul.” He cut in from the cockpit. “Is it okay if she sets up in your lab?”
“Yeah, she knows her way around.” Bruce responded quickly.
“Thanks.” Tony told him shortly before going back to the controls on the jet. He muttered something, before he spoke a bit louder instructing JARVIS to take the wheel.
“Yes sir, approach vector is locked.” The disembodied voice responded as Tony moved to join Katie, Steve and Thor around the sceptre.
“It feels good, yeah?” Tony began placing his hand comfortably in his pockets as he looked at Thor “I mean, you’ve been after this thing since SHIELD collapsed. Not that I haven’t enjoyed our little raiding parties, but…” he trailed off.
“But this, this brings it to a close.” Thor finished for him staring proudly down at the sceptre.
“As soon as we find out what else this has been used for.” Steve looked at the sceptre curiously. “I don’t just mean weapons. Since when is Strucker capable of human enhancement?”
"Banner and I will give it the once over before it goes back to Asgard.” Tony assured glancing at the item then back at Thor “Is that cool with you? Just a few days till the farewell party. You’re staying, right?”
“Yes, yes, of course.” Thor looked back to the sceptre, placing one of his hands on the box with a smile “A victory should be honoured with revels.”
“Yeah, who doesn’t love revels?” Tony spoke lightly. “You guys?” He asked looking at Katie and Steve as Steve slid his arm round his girl’s waist. Seeing as they lived at the tower, it was kind of a given they would be there anyway, but Tony had aimed the question at Steve more than his sister, still giving him the chance to avoid a hectic social gathering if he so wished but on this occasion he didn’t. Despite the fact he enjoyed a quiet life on the whole, he also quite enjoyed socialising on occasions too. And Thor was right, this called for a good party.
"Hopefully this puts an end to the Chitauri and Hydra, so…yes, revels.” Steve replied smiling slightly as he used the arm around Katie’s waist to squeeze her hip as Tony turned to speak to Thor, outlining his plans for the Sceptre.
Katie spun her body so she was facing Steve, both his hands locking at the base of her back. “Sooo, Captain America going to let his hair down?” She grinned.
“No, Steve Rogers is.”
“Steve is definitely my favourite.” She nodded, running her hands up his chest, feeling the solid material of his Uniform. “Cap’s an asshole. And a bossy bastard.”
“I know, you tell me this a lot” He quipped, leaning down to give her a peck on the lips.
A few hours later they arrived home. Natasha and Bruce wheeled Clint out first, passing Maria Hill as she walked onto the jet, addressing Tony, moving out of the way as Thor also left, the sceptre tucked under his arm.
“Lab’s all set up, boss” Hill spoke.
Tony pointed at Steve who was crouching down putting a few things back in one of the equipment crates. “Uh, actually, he’s the boss… I just pay for everything, and design everything and make everyone look cooler.”
Katie smiled to herself as Steve sighed; pretending to be irritated, but the shine in his eyes told a different story. He thrived in his role as leader.
“What’s the word on Strucker?” He asked Maria, straightening up.
“NATO’s got him.” She said, pressing something on her tablet.
“What about the two enhanced?” Katie asked, “Anything on them?”
“Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Twins.” She said handing Steve the tablet. He swiped across the screen and the image sprang to life. Katie watched the tablet in Steve’s hands as the two kids were partaking in some kind of demonstration.
“Orphaned at ten when a shell collapsed their apartment building. Sokovia’s had a rough history. It’s nowhere special but it’s on the way to everywhere special.”
Together the three of them strode across the landing pad, leaving Tony behind on the jet doing his usual post flight shut down controls.
“Their abilities?” Steve quizzed as they headed through the locker area heading towards the elevator at the end.
“He’s got increased metabolism and improved thermal homeostasis. Her thing is neural electric interfacing, telekinesis, mental manipulation.”
Steve looked at her, his eyebrow raised.
“He’s fast and she’s weird.” Katie said, rephrasing it for him. Maria let out a small smirk.
“Well, they’re going to show up again.” He said, pressing the button for the elevator.
“Agreed. File says they volunteered for Strucker’s experiments. Its nuts” Maria said as Katie and Steve stepped in to the elevator and turned to face her. Katie looked down at her feet, smiling before she glanced sideways at Steve who was looking at Maria.
“Right. What kind of monster would let a German scientist experiment on them to protect their country?” His voice was ladled with sarcasm. He knew Hill hadn’t meant it like that but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to jibe her.
Maria realised what she had said and looked at him, taking a deep breath. “We’re not at war, Captain” she responded.
“They are.” He said, and then the lift door shut.
“Turns out Cap is Bossy and sarcastic…” Katie raised an eyebrow, not looking at him.
He paused for a second, smirking, before he turned to her, gently pushing her shoulders to back her into the wall of the elevator as his lips crashed onto hers, body pinning her into place. He kissed her, hard and his hand slid up to grasp her chin, holding her head in position as his tongue tangled easily with hers. It took Katie a second to catch up with what was going on, he’d surprised her slightly, but once she did she kissed him back, hungrily. The elevator stopped and he stepped back, leaving her breathless and hanging as he exited the lift wearing a huge smirk, tablet still in his hand.
Whilst Steve headed off to find a quiet corner in which to study the tablet some more, Katie, once she had managed to calm her spiking libido, walked into the lab area. Tony was coming down the steps, out of the room Clint was in. Bruce was stood just outside, looking through the window.
“How is he?” Katie asked.
“Well he’s still Barton so…”
“That’s terrible.” Banner shook his head.
“He’s good, he’s thirsty so…” Tony shrugged. Banner smiled and headed into the lab as Katie held back, looking at Tony.
“And you, are you sure you’re alright?” She asked. “You looked a bit peaky before.”
“Just the amount of stuff that was in Strucker’s lab.” Her brother murmured “There was a tonne of it Kiddo, a fuck tonne. We didn’t do as good a job of cleaning up after the battle here as we thought.”
“We did the best we could.” she said, tucking her hair behind her ears.
“Yeah maybe, anyway I’m going to go fix a drink so…”
He wandered off and Katie watched him go. Something was telling her that her brother wasn’t being completely honest with what was bothering him, but she knew better than to press him. He’d tell her when he wanted to.
As she walked into the room where Clint was led, Natasha was stood beside him, Dr Cho’s machine working on the wound in his side.
“So is he going to be okay Doc because pretending to need this guy really keeps the team together” Natasha teased. Clint muttered back a response that Katie didn’t quite catch whilst Banner bent over the kit that was currently mending his wound together, his nose centimetres away from Barton’s side as he studied it, a look of astonishment and awe on his face.
“She’s creating tissue.” He spoke incredulously, looking at Natasha then to Katie.
Helen Cho smiled, and checked the wound and the machine before looking at Banner “If you brought him to my lab, the regeneration Cradle could do this in twenty minutes.”
“Oh he’s flatlining.” Tony returned to the lab with 7 plastic cups full of his power green smoothie that had become a bit of a post mission ritual. Katie took one from him as he continued to pass them around whilst teasing Clint. “Call it. Time?”
“No, no, no. I’m going to live forever. I’m gonna be made of plastic.” Clint glanced up.
“Here’s your beverage” Tony handed him a cup.
“You’ll be made of you, Mr. Barton. Your own girlfriend won’t be able to tell the difference.” Dr Cho assured him.
“Well, I don’t have a girlfriend.” Clint swallowed the mouthful of drink he had taken, sharing a glance with Katie and she smirked.
No, just a wife.
“That I can’t fix.” Helen Cho smiled, before looking at my brother “This is the next thing, Tony. Your clunky metal suits are going to be left in the dust”.
“Well, that is exactly the plan. And Helen, I expect to see you at the party on Saturday.”
“Unlike you, I don’t have a lot of time for parties.” She paused, looking down at her clip board “Will Thor be there?”
“Oh yes…” Katie placed the empty cup on the tray and picking up the remaining two. “He’s a big fan of revels.”
She headed out of the lab and down the steps into the living area to find Thor and Steve, smiling when she spotted them both stood looking out at the City below.
“You would hardly know a battle had occurred at all” Thor was saying as he accepting the cup Katie held out to him as she moved to stand between them both. Thor dropped a large arm round her shoulder in a friendly manner, the two having grown even closer over the last six months as she’d taken it upon herself to help him get to grips with living on Earth as much as she could. “It never ceases to amaze me how you people just carry on.”
“We’re a resilient species.” Steve took the drink Katie offered him, his eyes straying to Thor’s arm. He didn’t mind the God’s protective nature over his girl, he knew there was nothing more to friendship, but he wasn’t overly keen on his tactile nature with her.
“Yes, just like Ramularts.” Thor’s arm moved from Katie as she looked round at him and he noticed her blank faces “Big, grey animals, huge horns, purple eyes. You don’t have those on Earth?”
“Err no.” Katie shook her head, as this time it was Steve’s arm which curled round her shoulders. “No we don’t.”
“Oh.” Thor said, before shrugging “Well they are hideous. A bit like this green concoction your brother insists we drink”
“It’s good for you…” Katie grinned “Contains Two of your Five a day. I should know, I drank enough of it after my little vacation in Canada”
“Don’t.” Steve sighed, his arm pulling her a little closer. He hated it when she made jokes about her kidnapping.
Thor raised his eyebrow. “Five a day of what?”
“Never mind.” Katie chuckled “If you don’t like it, tip it into the plant pot. He’ll never know.
*****
It was a bit strange the following few days, waking up and knowing there was nothing that needed to be done. Whilst not every single day of the last Six months had been spent running around on or planning missions, even when she was at work in SIP, there had always been that part of Katie’s mind that would not switch off, knowing they had a job to do, not to mention Steve had been like a coiled spring constantly waiting and searching for the next lead.
With SHIELD all but gone to the public and off doing God knows what, the Avengers were more important than ever, and Katie knew that Tony and Steve had been discussing expanding, recruiting a whole team of support staff and scientists. However, that was all to come and for the time being it was pushed to the back of her mind, and Steve’s it appeared. Katie didn’t think she had ever seen him so relaxed. He slept in, lazed around the apartment, was happy to have duvet days. It was, frankly, great and she couldn’t help but hope that this could be the start of a relatively ‘normal’ life for the pair of them.
That particular morning, Thursday, the clock on her bedside table informed her that it was gone 10 am when she woke. Steve wasn’t in the bed besides her, but that wasn’t surprising. She stretched and turned over onto her side, instructing Jarvis to retract the blinds in the bedroom to reveal the large ceiling to floor windows that looked out over the New York Skyline. In her opinion their floor really did have the best view the building could offer, something which made her Super Soldier very happy, as he loved to spend his down time drawing the skyline from the art room she had gotten Tony to convert one of their spare rooms into for him at Christmas.
She also had another surprise for him up her sleeve. Steve had recently been researching into getting a place in Brooklyn for the pair of them, suggesting it would be nice for them to have their own place when they got married. So as a surprise she had made an appointment for later today in the afternoon with a Realtor Tony had recommended to look at a house they had both really liked on the internet. She hadn’t told Steve that yet, it was a surprise and something she was strangely excited about.
Steve heard Jarvis respond to Katie’s request and smiling he got up from where he had been watching the news on the TV, made her a coffee out and headed into the bedroom. He immediately noticed her eyes scan him up and down, grinning to himself as he raised an eyebrow as she took in the fact he was in nothing but a grey pair of sweats that hung off his hips casually as he crossed the grey carpet towards her.
“You know if I looked a woman up and down like that in the street I’d be called a pervert.”
“Yeah well…” She said, pulling herself into a sitting position “We’re not in the street, and you’re my fiancée so I can perve as much as I want.”
He snorted as he set the mug of coffee down on the bedside table and she moved over so he could sit on the edge of the bed.
“Morning, Gorgeous.” He grinned, dropping a kiss gently onto her lips.
“Been in the gym?” She asked, taking in his hair which was still damp from the shower.
“Running. I popped in to see Tony and Banner on my way back up.”
“They still running tests on the Sceptre?” Katie took a sip of her drink.
“Yeah, I think they’ve been there all night!” he said, running a hand through his damp, tousled hair
“Wouldn’t surprise me. Tony’s relentless once he gets the bit between his teeth”
“So, what do you want to do today?” Steve’s nose buried into her hair. “Fancy heading down to the Pier?”
“Well…” Katie said, setting her mug down and taking his hand in hers, lacing her fingers with his “I have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise?” He asked, raising his eyebrow, a grin spreading across his face.
“mnmmmhmmmm” she said, nodding.
He tried his best to get her to tell him where they were going but Katie didn’t. She had a suspicion he would guess as they made their way there however. But still, it was fun. They set off just after midday and cruised over Brooklyn Bridge, the sun bouncing off the Hudson as they left Manhattan. Katie drove her Camero through the various neighbourhoods, occasionally Steve would point things out from his past, as they came to him, enjoying his little nostalgia trip. And then when she turned left at one particular junction he immediately figured out where they were going.
“You are unbelievable.” He chuckled.
“What?”
“We’re going to see that house, the one in Clinton Hill…” Steve’s eyebrow raised as he shot a glance at her.
“Might be.” Katie smirked.
They carried through the neighbourhood and Katie eventually pulled into a pair of open metal gates which led to a large, red brick three storey with an immaculate garden area to the front and stopped behind a gold, BMW convertible. To the left of the front door the drive way sloped down under an arch to a large garage and the sprawling grounds at the back. Steve had liked it immediately when he saw it. The architecture inside and outside was quirky enough to appeal to the artist in him, it was in a quiet enough neighbourhood and the location and plot meant they could easily up the security. It all came at a hefty price tag though, not that it mattered to Katie.
“You do know this was the poshest place to live in Brooklyn.” He turned to look at Katie as she undid her seat belt.
“Still is. But then, I’m a very posh kinda woman.” Katie grinned, climbing out of the car. Steve did the same and made his way round to her side, dropping an arm round her shoulders.
“What do you think?”
“Looks even better in real life.” Steve looked up at the huge, elegant mansion. As they stood looking at the façade of the building, the large oak door opened and outstepped a tall, thin, very good looking woman dressed in an extremely tight grey dress, high Manolas with her blonde hair pulled up into an immaculate bun.
“Hi.” She was crisp, and business like. “You must be Miss Stark and Captain Rogers?”
“Yeah, sorry, Danny?” Katie frowned. When Tony had set her up with his Real Estator friend Danny, She had assumed it was a man.
“Danni with an I!” She held out her hand, clearly clocking the look of confusion. “I get that a lot.”
She turned to Steve, and looked at him appreciatively, her whole body language changing from one of business to friendship as she shook his hand. Katie rolled her eyes. Steve, as ever, was utterly clueless as he beamed at the woman.
“So the way I normally do this, is I’ll walk you in, show you round, give you a bit of history, then we can have a chat after…” She said, as they followed her up the steps, Steve stopping to allow Katie to go first, his hand gently in the small of her back. They entered into large, wooden floored hall way, which was cool but welcoming. To the right was a huge staircase which swept up and round in a dog leg.
“So the house was impeccably restored in 2007 by the present owners with close attention given to the preservation of historic details.” Dani spoke the sales patter as the pair of them looked up and round. “There are five floors, seven bedrooms, three full baths, three half baths in 3 of the bedrooms, including the master, front and rear gardens, parking, double garage and a pool house.”
She turned round and looked at Katie “And if you’re anything like your brother you’ll appreciate one of the 5 floors is a wine cellar-slash-party room. We all know Tony likes his parties, lord knows I’ve been to enough.” she winked at Steve and besides him he felt Katie bristle.
Uh-oh.
Katie frowned slightly, unable to decide if she was making a joke or referring to the fact this woman and her brother had once, well, you know. Fixing the woman with her best passive face she smiled.
“I’m sorry, I don’t remember you.” Katie’s voice was thickly sweet “I’m normally pretty good with faces.”
The two women looked at one another, Dani-with-an-I’s face slipped slightly but she recovered and turned to Steve.
“So if you want to follow me…” She beamed, a mouthful of perfect, white teeth.
“Please, lead the way.” Steve smiled at her, ever the gentleman and Katie gave another roll of her eyes as she led them from the room, hips swinging exaggeratedly.
As they walked round, despite the fact she was openly flirting with Steve and completely ignoring the fact Katie was there, it was clear the woman really did know her stuff. She’d obviously researched this house down to the ground as no detail was missed.
Frankly the house was stunning, and as they moved from room to room, taking it all in, Steve noticed the way Katie’s smile grew wider the more they saw. He could tell she’d fallen in love with it already.
“All of the electrical and plumbing was updated and central air-con and heating was installed throughout the house” Dani-with-an-I said as they made their way back down the stairs “And the facade was redone as well as the roof.”
“I’m not going to lie…” Steve nodded as they made their way into the huge kitchen again, “It’s every bit as stunning in real life as it looks on the internet.”
“It’s gorgeous isn’t it Steve.” She flashed those pearly whites at him again as her hand dropped to his forearm, giving it a small squeeze. Katie took a deep breath and grit her teeth. Steve didn’t so much as bat an eyelid although Katie could have sworn he shot her a sideways glance, the glimmer of a smirk playing across his handsome face. But when she looked back his face was utterly passive.
“How big is the land span?” He asked, striding to the back door
“Couple of hundred feet. The pool is roughly 20 by 40 so you can gage it from that.”
“May I?” He asked, gesturing to the door which led out of the kitchen to the rear.
“Please, go right ahead.” Sh smiled, stepping forward to unlock the rear door. Steve stepped out and strode down the lawn area of the property to inspect the gardens looking for what security improvements they would need to make. They weren’t overlooked either which he really liked. No, he could definitely see them here together, maybe raising a family in a few years…a dog… a smile crossed his face as he looked around. Yeah, he liked it.
Katie watched as Steve looked around the garden, and Dani-with-an-I excused herself and pottered off to answer a phone call. Katie turned her head, nosily listening in and caught one line which instantly pissed her right off.
“Yes, I think he likes it. It’s a good sign… he might yes. I know, right? Captain America…who knew!? And he’s even more gorgeous in real life! Yeah, tell me about it…”
Whoever she was on the call to was clearly speaking back and Dani laughed before saying she needed to go and Katie heard her heels clicking as she walked back to the large kitchen. Katie glanced at Steve who was walking back towards the house, and figuring she had enough time she decided to pull the daft bint up on her attitude.
“And do you think I like it?” Katie asked as Dani walked into the room.
“I’m sorry?” Dani frowned.
“Do you think I like the house?” Katie shrugged “I mean you seem overly concerned about whether Captain America does just curious if my opinion counts?”
Dani floundered for her answer, as Katie continued. “I’ve watched you for the last hour or so eyeing him up.” Katie glared at her.
“Katie…I didn’t…” “Miss Stark, thank you.” Katie interrupted, not once breaking the eye contract. “And if you touch my fiancee again, I will snap your hand off.”
Dani swallowed nervously and looked away for a split second. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause any offence.”
“Everything ok?” Steve asked, stepping back into the kitchen. You could cut the tension between the women with a knife. He couldn’t help but feel slightly sorry for Dani as Katie was utterly frightening when she wanted to be.
“Yes, absolutely, me and Dani were just discussing the price and maybe how she’s going to broker us a good deal with the vendor…” Katie said sweetly, before she turned to Dani, raising an eyebrow. Steve had to bite back his laughter.
“Yes.” Dani cleared her throat, “Absolutely. So it’s currently on the market for offers in the region of 3.3 million, but I think with some good negotiation I’ll get them down to around the flat 3 mark.”
“Try again.” Katie smiled at her and Dani swallowed again, her smile slipping slightly.
“Miss Stark, this is a very good price for this area…” “I’m not disputing that.” Katie shook her head, her eyes never once leaving the woman in front of her “But we would be cash buyers, with no chain…obviously if you don’t think you can get it any lower I would be happy to handle the negotiations myself.”
Steve bit his lip and became very focussed on examining the ceiling. “I’ll see what I can do.” Dani-with-an-I said after a short pause.
“Thank you.” Katie smiled.
They all exchanged pleasantries, Katie’s handshake was especially firm, and then Steve and her left, exiting down the steps.
“You’re scary when you’re angry” he said into her ear.
“I’m not angry, merely slightly irritated.” Katie snorted “Her attitude left something to be desired. Here, wanna drive home?” she tossed him the keys.
He didn’t say anything else, just expertly caught the keys in his left hand, but the smug look on his face was enough to let Katie know she had been busted. As they drove back down the tree lined avenue towards the main road, their conversation turned to how beautiful the location was and Steve pointing out how far away the area was from where he grew up. As he spoke, however, something in his stomach tightened. It was a really far cry from the life he had known before the war, when he had been lucky just to be able to afford the rent every month in the small four roomed apartment. He’d always dreamed of being able to afford a nice place in his future, keep a roof over his family’s head, but here well it would be a joint effort. And he was surprised to find that he felt a little bit inadequate about that.
“Do we really need 7 bedrooms?” he asked suddenly.
“Does Tony really need 6 cars?” Katie shrugged “They don’t all have to be bedrooms. The smaller rooms on the top floor could be an art studio and a cinema room…”
Steve fell completely quiet. Katie glanced sideways at him. There was a solemn look on his face. A look she knew meant he was brooding over something.
“Soldier, what is it?”
“Nothing…”
“You can’t lie for shit. Try again.”
He shifted and looked straight out of the window ahead, biting his bottom lip gently. He took a deep breath and as they stopped at a traffic light he turned to face her.
“It’s a lot of money, I’m just not sure I can afford it…”
“Maybe you can’t, but we can.” Katie waved his comment away. “Plus you’re on the Stark payroll now…”
“That’s not the point…” he sighed
“Then what is?” “I know this sounds old fashioned but I always wanted to provide for my girl, you know.”
Katie watched as he shrugged gently eyes not straying from the road.
“Yeah you’re right…it is old fashioned.” She rolled her eyes. Normally she had a lot of time for his ways but not when it came to things like this. “Does me having a lot of money bother you that much?”
“Of course not…” he said.
“So why are we even having this discussion? We’re going to be married at some point, it doesn’t matter who has what. It’s not an issue.” she took a breath “You know, considering you’re not all that bothered about me taking your name when we get married this seems like an odd thing to get caught up on.” “Hang on, I never said I wasn’t bothered about you not taking my name.” He corrected, shaking his head. “I’d love nothing more than for you to be Mrs Rogers. What I said was that I understand your reasons for being a little bit…hesitant about it, with the business and all.”
“I’m not hesitant.” She shot back, and he looked at her, raising an eyebrow snorting.
“What was it you said?” He looked at her briefly “You can’t imagine not being a Stark especially when your business is called Stark Independent Publishers?”
She stayed silent, looking out of the window.
“I got news for you, Sweetheart, you’ll always be a Stark. Name or not. You’re too much of a pain in my ass not to be.” Steve concluded, shooting her a look. She gave a small smile as he pulled the car up 5th towards the tower.
“And you’ll always be my Soldier. My safe-place, regardless of whether you solely provide for me or not, which by the way is a fucking stupid notion anyway, didn’t your Ma bringing you up alone teach you anything?”
“Wow.” Steve raised both his eyebrows “That’s harsh.”
“But fair.” she countered “Are we arguing now?” He looked at her, the corner of his mouth twitching as he pulled up and waited for the entrance to the underground car park open as it recognised the plate.
“No, I’m just pointing out that you’re being an old fashioned dork about something that really isn’t that big a deal. I want to share my life with you, Steve and that means everything that comes with it.”
“Yeah, I know. You’re right.” He shook his head. “You’re absolutely right, I’m sorry.” he took a deep breath “I suppose since coming out of the ice this is the first time I’ve really had to think about where I’m gonna live and not had it all planned out for me.” He cut the car engine and Katie looked at him, softening slightly as he turned to her, his blue eyes locking onto hers.
“Baby, there’s no rush.” She looked at him, fully understanding what he was saying. “There’s plenty of other property to look at.”
“Yeah, perhaps I should give Danni-with-an-I a call, see what else she has on her books. I mean she did give us a good tour.” Steve nodded, a small smile playing on his face.
Katie narrowed her eyes at him. That’s not all she wanted to give you. She was flirting with you.”
“She probably flirts with everyone”
“She wanted you.”
“Well, she can’t have me.” Steve grinned, raising an eyebrow at her, that annoying smug grin spreading across his face.
“Damned right.” She pushed on his shoulders gently as she clambered over onto his lap. “I don’t take kindly to people touching my stuff…” “Yeah, you really didn’t you learn to share as a child did you?” He teased, his hands sliding up each of her bare thighs, underneath the hem of her jersey dress
“Not when it comes to the important things, no…” She murmured, pressing her lips to his. Her tongue slid into his mouth, tangling easily with his as he flexed his hips up groaning as the growing bulge in his trousers pressed against her spot as she pushed down hard against him, a moan brewing in her throat.
“Baby we’re in the garage.” he said softly, more of a reminder than a protest.
“I know…” She kissed him again as she began to undo his buckle and then the buttons on his jeans. He tilted his hips slightly so she could manoeuvre his trousers down and he shifted so he was in the right position as she leaned forward again to kiss him, his lips gently trailing down to pepper her neck with soft, warm kisses, as he pushed up against her again and again, his erection pressing at the thin barrier of her underwear. Her hands moved from his chest and she slid the garment to the side and his hands rested on her hips as she pushed down, taking him in. Both of them let out a groan and Katie began to work up and down, rocking her hips.
The darker side of Steve found the risk of someone coming and finding them, all be it pretty minimal, a fucking big turn on and his hands pulled Katie further down as he thrust upwards, fucking her like a greedy, horny teenager. Her head banged against the roof of the car, but Katie didn’t care as his hands crept up the front of her dress, sliding under the cups of her bra. His hands tweaked at her nipples and she groaned louder, the familiar pull in her stomach getting more and more prominent. As she pushed down again he let out a groan and sat up slightly, so his lips were on her neck nipping her skin with his teeth as he thrust upwards, and she let out a cry, tilting her head backwards.
“Stevie, I’m gonna…” she stuttered and as he thrust upwards again, she was gone. Her cries loud as he too let out a loud groan as he shuddered, wrapping his arms around her back, pulling her to him as she rode out wave, after wave, and he emptied himself inside her, laying his head back against the seat, eyes closed in bliss. She fell forward and lay her forehead against his, both of them breathing deeply as their noses began their familiar dance.
“You know…” He chuckled, cracking an eye open as she grinned cheekily. “I’m glad you weren’t taught how to share…”
***** Chapter 23 Part 1
**Original Posting**
#stark spangled banner#steve rogers#Katie Stark#steve rogers fic#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers x ofc#steve rogers x original female character#steve rogers smut#chris evans#chris evans characters#mcu#mcu fanfic
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College!AU - Hongjoong (ateez)
ahaha so i’m baaaack ;; super sorry for all the inactivity babes life has been weighing down on all of us i’m sure and i needed some time! This is the next installment of the college!au ateez series, and although i had planned to have hongjoong last, y’all requested him so much i wrote him next and changed the order around!
Author’s note: Bullet fic,
Warnings: like a drop of angst if u squint ?? the word sh!t appears one time i think
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Hongjoong:
he’s so cute i’m Sad
ok so Joongie is just so loved, so treasured by everyone ,, every time he enters into a room everyone just 🥺
he’ll walk into a room looking all sleepy in overalls or something and literally everyone’s parental instincts awaken from the depths of college emotional indifference and suddenly ,,
there’s world peace it’s a sight to see
so, our Hongjoongie is actually a double major!!
he’s a world lit major, and he’s minoring in gender studies so his emphasis is on analyzing feminist texts
more often than not, the best way to find hongjoong is to just go to the library on the south side of campus at odd hours at night and you’ll usually find him buried underneath a pile of books ;; (and more often than not he’ll also be sleeping because baby can’t stay awake to save his life ://)
But he really does love his major ,, and If u let him , he’ll rave hours and hours about literature; analyzing them through historical context, societal reflection, the role of women, writing style.....
....he just loves what he does and it makes everyone around him love him for it too!!
He always has extensive talks with Yeosang (an english major who took a lot of lit classes with hongjoong hint go read the yeosang!au) on american 19th century feminist writings
they started their own book club and it’s literally just them two, no other members allowed, and all they do is eat finger sandwiches and shit on misogynistic men we sTAN
HoWEVer, although hongjoong’s work in literature is impressive and respected, he’s probably better known for his second major:
music composition!
music is the love of his life ,,, no buts there’s nothing he’ll love more than his art (except maybe you aha ha ha ;)
and people knew him around campus becaaaauseeeeee ,,,,, he would usually ,,, dj at frat parties...
it wasn’t something he particularly liked, but hey money is money.
in all seriousness though, when hongjoong wasn’t reading or writing papers, he was glued to his mac producing tracks and writing lyrics
the only thing was ,,, he didn’t actually sing any of what he wrote
he never thought his own voice suited his songs, and would much rather sit on the sidelines moving along the creative direction
and although the boys usually are the ones to sing his demos,, joongie always felt like something was still ,,, missing
this is where u come in wink wonk
you’re just a lowly econ major who surprisingly !! doesn’t !! want !! to start your own fortune 500 company :DD !! wow so rare :)
anYWaYS,, you’re just doing it cuz your parents pressured you into pursuing a career with stable job opportunities and you’re kinda good at math and graphs soooo
....why not
but to be honest, you always felt trapped
you were never able to stop that feeling of impending doom when you’d open your macro-econ textbooks ,,,
or how your heart hurt when you think about the fact that your life is headed straight to an incredibly mundane future :
a desk job, an overpriced apartment that barely has enough room for you, living in constant air pollution from the city’s high carbon emissions, never finding true love, dying alone with 50 cats, taxes...you get the drift
you usually pushed those thoughts to the back of your mind, negativity isn’t productive and right now you had a world economics midterm to study for
but..
not that you’d ever admit it, your true passion had always been music
you weren’t the best composer, you knew just enough piano to get you but; but you had a set of PIPES dAmN
your friends could usually find you at the dorm’s music rooms ,, and whenever you felt stress or needed to unwind, you’d usually head over to those rooms
now ,,, these rooms are soundproof // but the trick is you actually have to close the door cuz if u don’t......
everyone can hear you
and by everyone I mean the entire floor
you were doing your usual thing at the music room one night when one of your friends came in to let you know everyone would be heading over to dinner soon,, u promised only one more song before meeting them upstairs on your dorm floor
hoWEVeR, U DIDN’T REALIZE THAT WHEN YOUR FRIEND WALKED AWAY THEY LEFT THE DOOR OPEN
and soo ,, when u started singing again //// everyone heard
and by everyone i mean ???!?
hongjoong :))
and it was love at first sight ,,, or rather
,, love at first listen??
he won’t ponder over the semantics, all Hongjoong knew was that he had been looking for a voice like yours and needed you on his tracks
this man barged into the room and begged you to lend your voice for his songs
...on his knees :00
you were in shock like what were you supposed to do?
this random man stormed in and got on his knees ,,
what was next ??
marriage ????
u didn’t really say anything for a while just kinda looked him in his eyes
but then your uwu instincts kicked in--u don’t know what it is about this dude but u just wanna like give him candy or something
and so you hesitantly asked for his name
and that’s when hongjoong realized he was an IDIOT
because not only was your voice heavenly, but of course you were cute too and he just presented himself like a complete and utter maniac and He Didn’T eVEN bOTHER To TelL You hIS NAme!
he wanted the ground to swallow him up but alas
he got off his knees and shyly stuck out his hand and told you his name
you looked at him once again ,, and surprisingly
you took his hand with a small smile on your face
you ended up totally forgetting about dinner with your friends at the dining hall
because hongjoong sat beside you on the piano bench and showed you his songs and lyrics, and you....fell in love <3
you’d never connected with anyone on this type of emotional level before and it was almost sort of overwhelming
it also kinda gave you hope too ,, because here was Hongjoong ,, someone who managed to get the best of both worlds : a music and a lit degree
and you thought that maybe ,, you could do something with music too
you guys exchanged numbers and scheduled to meet at the university’s recording studio that weekend
Hongjoong composed a track and you added your own lyrics with his help--after two weeks of mixing, mastering, producing, and recording ,,, you guys officially released a single!!
you really weren’t expecting it, but hongjoong was a bit of a social butterfly and so the song became a hit on campus
people were uploading it to their social media, sharing it with friends, playing it while they worked out, it was kinda ridiculous to you
the student paper even wrote an article about it (and later you found out that the journalist was one of hongjoong’s friend’s girlfriend ,, (hint go read the yunho!au)
And when the song reached 10,000 streams, that gave you the confidence to do what you had always wanted to do
you called your parents up on a Saturday morning to tell them you were picking up a vocal performance major
you were extremely anxious for this conversation, so Hongjoong decided to stay by your side for moral support
As both of you waited with baited breath for your parents’ response, Hongjoong was also right there just ,, holding your hand so sweetly,, and that was driving YOU INSANE
(because in these past couple of months you had gotten to know Hongjoong you had mostly definitely, absolutely, completely fallen head over heels for him)
after a long moment of silence, your parents agreed
they weren’t too happy about it, but they also weren’t as against it as you thought they’d be--the only condition was that you’d continue with econ and instead double major
it would honestly be hard considering the amount of mandatory classes and performances required of the vocal performance major, but you were too happy to care
after your goodbyes with your parents, you looked over to Hongjoong with the biggest smile on your face
and it just,, absolutely melted his heart
before he could stop himself he just wrapped his arms around you and twirled you around
and then :) he gave you the softest kiss on your cheek
of course, after it dawned on him what he had done, he instantly turned red and started chucking nervously as he stuttered his words
but for you, the newfound confidence and ADRENALINE after your successful phone call with your parents, you grabbed both sides of his face and asked him if you could kiss him
Hongjoong was wide-eyed but LIKE HELL he would pass up this up
so after muttering out a shy yes, y’all kissed awwww :))
and after that, you guys became a couple!
you’d show up to the frat parties he would DJ at and would always dance like an idiot with wooyoung in the corner of the room
and you and hongjoong would always partner up for music composition and performance projects: Hongjoong would write the tracks and you’d sing for them
you guys were honestly such a soft couple
you also picked up the habit of studying sleeping at the library with hongjoong because double majoring was hard and it required a lot of work
and it just, now became a thing for people to always find you along with Hongjoong sleeping under a pile of books
you guys kept on releasing more singles after that, and are currently working on an EP!
and honestly, you were so incredibly happy
you had the most amazing boyfriend, and you were pursuing your passion
and you felt just a little bit better knowing that your future was unclear
you no longer pictured yourself at a desk job, living out an absolutely dreadful life
instead, you finally realized the multitude of opportunities at your disposal
and with Hongjoong by your side, you just knew everything in life would work out in the end!
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FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!
Love you guys! Stay safe and healthy!!
- Luna
#ateez#ateez hongjoong#kim hongjoong#ateez scenarios#ateez reactions#kpop#kpop reactions#kpop scenarios#kpop masterlist#ateez masterlist#ateez seonghwa#park seonghwa#ateez mingi#song mingi#jeong yunho#ateez yunho#ateez jongho#ateez yeosang#ateez wooyoung#ateez san#kang yeosang#ateez college au
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DAD Day6 A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Jaehyung Park
A ⇴ AFFECTION
Jae is very comforting when it comes down to his affection, he always makes sure to take care of your bump and you. He doesn’t necessarily squeeze you the tightest, but he always makes sure to hold you when you need it.
B ⇴ BUMP
Around your bump, Jae is always very handsy, feeling around for any wriggles or kicks. He loves connecting with your bump and feeling signs of life from your baby, using that as moments to really allow it to sink in that he’s about to become a dad. Whenever he can, his hands are on your bump, typically resting at the top of it.
C ⇴ CRAVINGS
Secretly, Jae loves whenever you’re craving as it gives him the perfect opportunity to grab a snack for himself too. He loves sitting late at night and eating with you, whilst he won’t eat as much, mainly because you’ll never let him, he still loves being able to sneak in a little bit whilst seeing you satisfied too.
D ⇴ DUE DATE
Your due date is something that Jae tries to think about as little as possible, mainly because he can’t help but panic every time that he does think about it. He knows its nearing with every day that passes but counting down the days is enough to terrify Jae as to how close it actually is. Instead, he tries to focus on different trimesters and occasions, using them as hurdles to pass until you reach your baby’s arrival.
E ⇴ EMOTIONS
Jae most definitely feels like his family is complete with your baby’s arrival. He’s always had the life that he dreamt of, career, friends, and you, but there was always one thing that seemed to be missing. Having something else to focus on with your baby was one of Jae’s favourite things to look forward to, it would be something to keep him busy and keep him happy too, everything that he wanted to find.
F ⇴ FAMILY
Being away from home, the two of you rely heavily on one another a lot for support and encouragement. You try and call your families as much as possible, but with time zones and schedules it’s hard at time to find the times to get in contact. The only person you always have around is Jae, and vice versa for him, and so the two of you make sure that you’re a pillar of strength whenever the other needs you.
G ⇴ GENDER
Jae couldn’t hold out to find out the gender of your baby, he was keen to find out as soon as possible. He didn’t mind if it was a boy or a girl, but he was too excited to wait several months to find out which gender it would be, instead he wanted to find out on your earliest appointment to calm himself down.
H ⇴ HEARTBEAT
Every time that Jae hears the beat of your baby’s heart, it always brings a smile to his face. He can’t help but get excited when he hears the heart beating, it’s the biggest sign of life that he has to hold onto, knowing that his baby is growing healthily and happily is all he ever wants, and those tiny beats confirm that for him.
I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”
He often whispers into your ear late at night when the two of you are wide awake that he loves you in an attempt to calm you down and help you get off to sleep. You’ll usually hum in reply because you’re tired, but Jae will know exactly what you mean, and make sure that he keeps your words close to his chest too.
J ⇴ JEALOUSY
Whenever he feels himself getting jealous of things, Jae always tries to remind himself of what his focus should be on, his family and the opportunities ahead as he becomes a father. He tries his hardest to ignore things that could set him off and get him feeling jealous, especially when it’s unintentional from other people around him, the only thing he wants is to look forward to having his baby and spending time with you.
K ⇴ KICKS
He loves to cuddle up to your bump, usually when he’s gaming with his arms resting against the top of it in anticipation of feeling kicks. Whenever he’s handsy with your bump, he always goes in search of the spots where your baby will kick, waiting in anticipation until he feels one, or hopefully a few more as well.
L ⇴ LABOUR
It was hard for Jae watching you in labour, he’s been through pain himself, but never as much as you were, and seeing you struggle in so much pain was a tough watch for him. He was incredibly comforting at your side throughout the entirety of your labour, whatever you needed, Jae was there, often making you laugh with his comments or weird questions that he was asking the midwife as intrigue got the better of him.
M ⇴ MORNING SICKNESS
Although he was often a little grossed out by your morning sickness, Jae would always be there for you and try and keep a straight face. You’d be able to tell quite often that he wasn’t impressed being around sick, but you always made sure to let him know that you appreciated him being there for you all the same.
N ⇴ NURSERY
Jae tries to get as stuck in as possible with building your nursery and pick up a new skill. Building and decorating isn’t something he’s necessarily tried too much before, but for your baby, it was a good time to start learning.
O ⇴ OBSESSION
He was obsessed with your laughter, and although he was before your pregnancy, hearing the extra twang of excitement that came with your pregnancy always left Jae with a smile on his face and a buzz of excitement in his heart too.
P ⇴ POST BIRTH
Jae’s comforting streak continued well after you had given birth too, making sure that he did as much as he could to help you out and stop you moving around. Whilst you were keen to try and get back to normal, Jae was very wary of you doing too much too soon and kept pushing you down every time that you tried to stand.
Q ⇴ QUESTIONS
He’d always offering his help to you, no matter what the time of day or what he’s doing. Nothing is too much trouble for him, he wants to take as much of the weight off of your shoulders as possible to help you out.
R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS
Jae loves creating a family for himself in his games now that he’s expecting a baby. Late at night, he loves to talk you through the Sims family that he’s created, with a lot of effort placed into the baby especially, telling you all about the characteristics and features he hoped that your baby would have when they arrived.
S ⇴ SCANS
Your scan photos are always kept safe by Jae, placed in places that are special to him so that he knows exactly where they will be. At the side of his desk, on the unit next to his bed, and even in his car, Jae always keeps one of the scan photos in view so whenever he gets excited or wants to see your baby, he can.
T ⇴ TEST
Neither of you could believe it when your test came back positive, it was a surprise to you both with little discussion put into having a baby before between either of you, but it was definitely something that you were both looking forward too.
U ⇴ ULTRASOUND
Jae makes sure to set alarms for all of your appointments so that he can make extra sure that he’s ready to go and there on time with you for each one.
V ⇴ VISITS
The two of you were keen to spend a few days in a little bubble of just the two of you when your baby arrived. A routine was critical for Jae to settle with having your baby in his life, and so you waited a little while before inviting round guests.
W ⇴ WAITING
Jae’s patience depends on how the day has gone, if it’s been fun, he gets very excited, but if it’s calm, he’s much happier waiting for your arrival.
X ⇴ XXXX
Whenever he’s cuddled up to your bump, Jae will often kiss around it in order to encourage more movement from your baby. He loves being able to feel them moving around and will do anything to encourage more from them.
Y ⇴ YOU
You were Jae’s inspiration; he couldn’t believe how strong you were across the nine months.
Z ⇴ ZZZ
With Jae usually staying up late anyway, it was quite nice for him to have some company whilst you tried to get comfortable. You’d stay up well into the early hours and talk about anything until one of you fell asleep.
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Masterlist
#day6#day6 imagine#jae#jae imagine#jaehyung park#jaehyung park imagine#day6 scenario#day6 reaction#day6 headcanon#day6 jae#day6 drabble#day6 one shot#day6 fluff#jae scenario#jae reaction#jae drabble#jae one shot#jae fluff#kpop#kpop imagine
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i never would have thought // CH.09
WRITTEN PORTION
“Pic-nic! Pic-nic! Pic-nic YAY!” (Y/n) chanted out in glee, practically floating as she skipped atop the gravel path. Yachi giggled at the display, linking her free arm with (Y/n) and shooting her a toothy grin.
The three Karasuno volleyball managers had been planning a girls day for a couple weeks, and this was the first free Saturday since (Y/n)’s photoshoot. They had set out on a quest to have a sunlit lunch beneath the trees. Yachi, carrying a blanket under her arm, had dressed up in a white sundress and left her hair down. In contrast Kiyoko was sporting a long brown patterned skirt and a black tank top, her slender fingers were wrapped around the handle of a round picnic basket. (Y/n) had been charged with bringing the drinks, hence the kitty cat backpack draped across her shoulders. She’d brought ramune and completed the trio’s aesthetic with a midi dress and white t-shirt underneath.
When they’d found a quiet spot under a large tree that provided some semblance of shade, the three worked together to set up their picnic. Ten minutes later they sat on a soft pastel checkered blanket, drinking cold soda, and relaxing under the shreds of sunlight peeking through the leaves above.
“I should have brought my camera.” (Y/n) sighed longingly, a content smile splayed across her features.
“We can always take pictures on our cell phone Hinata-chan!” Yachi piped up.
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s just so beautiful here.” (Y/n) sung, leaning back into her arms which were placed out behind her, providing support. She let the lids of her eyes fall shut as her head tipped back lazily, enjoying the weather which felt absolutely divine.
The heat was starting to become more bearable given that fall was right around the corner, but the sun still shone just as bright, leaving a warm residue in the afternoon air. Gentle breeze blew through the grass, running its slick fingers through the field and up to (Y/n)’s hair, cooling the sweat that threatened to build at the nape of her neck. As (Y/n) sat there, eyes closed and listening to the grass blades jostle against one another, Yachi and Kiyoko launched into a quiet conversation about club duties and then Sugawara and Daichi’s relationship. It was calm and easy, both speaking only words of kindness in low peaceful tones.
“How long have they been dating?” (Y/n) asked, cutting in as her feet finally touched back down to earth.
“About three months I think, but they’ve both had feelings for a long time,” Kiyoko smiled.
“I'm so glad they finally did start dating, they make such a good couple!” Yachi gushed, clasping her hands together “But I can't imagine what the confession must have been like, confessions have always made me too nervous!”
Yachi’s hands flew up to hold her cheeks as they flushed red at the mere thought of such confrontation, Kiyoko giggled along.
“Yeah, confessing sounds stressful.” (Y/n) pondered aloud, tapping at her chin.
“Is there someone you have in mind?” Kiyoko inquired innocently, cocking her head slightly to the side. (Y/n) looked back in confusion.
“In mind..?” she repeated, still perplexed.
“Someone you ‘wouldn’t’ want to confess to!” Yachi giggled, scooting closer to (Y/n) and shooting her a suggestive smirk. (Y/n) felt her cheeks grow warm, sure that the pink on her features would only spread if the conversation continued.
“I-I.. well not, I mean-“ (Y/n) tried. She kept her gaze lowered towards her hands, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt.
“Aww it’s okay Hinata-chan! We were just teasing, sorry!” Yachi laughed, scratching the back of her head sheepishly.
“No, no! I mean, what I was trying to say before is that there isn’t anyone that I’m interested in right now! At all!” (Y/n) finally spluttered out, a little louder and a lot more aggressive than she’d intended.
“What about Tsukishima?” Kiyoko asked evenly, soft tones failing to cushion the bluntness of her sudden inquiry.
(Y/n) paused for a moment, thinking back to the conversation of the previous night. Even if she had somehow started to develop any sort of feelings it didn’t really matter since she couldn’t tell if Tsukishima actually even wanted to be friends. He was always so confusing..
Finally, (Y/n) shook her head.
“We’re just friends.” She assured, face calming back to its gentle rosy cream. Kiyoko studied her for a moment before nodding.
“You guys seem to be getting along much better lately.” Kiyoko smiled lightly, easing herself down to lay on her side.
“I hope so... the truth is I can’t blame you guys for thinking there might have been something there on my part.” (Y/n) laughed diffidently, “I was just always so nervous that he’d hate me so I ended up getting all tense and acting weird around him.... hopefully he didn’t notice.”
(Y/n) let out a long sigh.
“Why would you think he might hate you?” Yachi asked, confusion dotting her words.
“He’s just so far away from everyone. Back home things were so different, and I guess I got accustomed to reading people a certain way. So when he was all cold I thought I'd... I dunno, done something wrong..?” (Y/n) shrugged, Kiyoko nodded thoughtfully.
“That makes more sense, and you really don’t have to tell us but what exactly was back home... like?” Kiyoko questioned hesitantly. She’d taken her time to ask the question in a way that was sweetened and less direct, hoping to create the least amount of discomfort. Regardless, (Y/n)’s shoulders tended slightly.
“It was...” She trailed off, as Yachi reached over and placed a comforting hand on her thigh.
“It’s okay, you really don’t have to say,” Yachi said softly. (Y/n) shook her head and continued
“No it’s okay. It was just a completely different world. I’ve never really talked about it, and I’m not sure how much Shoyo has told you guys, but I grew up in a really... wealthy... family.” (Y/n) paused, averting her eyes.
She always hated talking about that part of herself, the part that made people uncomfortable and the environment shift into a stiff stillness that never had the room for friendly connection. The same type of air that suffocated her to near death back home. The silence began to weigh down into her spine, so (Y/n) continued.
“The culture, it’s j-just really different.. and well my parents wanted me to be something.. someone that I wasn’t. They wanted me to dress a certain way, act like I was perfect, and just let people walk all over me. And I just didn’t want that, so I kinda took every opportunity to show them that.” (Y/n) laughed to herself reaching up to touch her long brown locks instinctively.
“That’s actually why I dyed my hair brown,” she continued “in rebellion. And I did a bunch of other stupid things like rip up clothes and wear make up I knew they’d hate. Mostly though, I would argue with them... and one day they kind of realized I wasn’t gonna give up and I think my Mom.. she realized I was really unhappy..”
“I-i’m really sorry (Y/n)..” Yachi said quietly. (Y/n) looked up and met her eyes, forcing a smile.
“It’s okay, don’t be. I’m here now and I’m really really happy! Happier than I’ve ever been!” (Y/n) smiled wide and held up a thumbs up
“We’re glad you’re here too.” Kiyoko said softly as Yachi leaned to lay her head across (Y/n)’s lap. (Y/n) stroked through the stands of blonde lovingly.
“That’s why I wanted everyone to like me so much. I never really felt like I fit in back home.. everyone wanted that lifestyle of fake smiles and champagne.. I..” (Y/n) furrowed her brows,
“I just wanted to be free.” She said definitively, looking up to find Kiyoko’s approving smile still beaming her way.
“How did you convince them to let you come?” Yachi asked suddenly, pulling (Y/n)’s eyes back down to her lap.
“We made a deal. They agreed to let me stay here through highschool as long as I go to the college they choose and marry the person they want me to.” (Y/n) explained, light disappointment visible through the cracks of her syllables.
“(Y/n)...” Yachi whispered, big teary eyes peering up at the brunette as Yachi reached up to touch (Y/n)’s face. (Y/n) smiled placing her own hand over Yachi’s which now rested against her cheek.
“It’s okay,” (Y/n) said, glancing up at Kiyoko who was giving her a similar look of sympathy “Really!”
“I've never really believed in love much so it’s not like I was waiting around for my soul mate.” (Y/n) reassured.
“But what if you meet someone and-“ Yachi spoke up
“I just wanna have fun while I’m here and try to make the most of it.” (Y/n) cut her off, smiling softly in such a way that Yachi and Kiyoko quickly understood the topic wasn’t open for discussion. Kiyoko began talking about college applications and careers and the weight of vulnerability finally began to wear off of (Y/n)’s shoulders. As the trio fell back into their easy jokes and conversations they pulled out trays of sushi and dried seaweed, giggling in unison as they shared light hearted memories.
Eventually, when the sky had turned into a sea of warm colors and fluffy watercolor clouds, (Y/n) felt a buzz in her pocket. She was forced to pull away from the conversation and check her text messages.
“Who’s it from?” Yachi asked, leaning over (Y/n)’s shoulders to peer at her screen.
“It’s Noya-senpai he said to look behind-“
“KIYOKO!!!!” A bellow erupted over the outstretched field behind (Y/n), as stampeding footsteps grew louder. The three managers snapped their heads towards the sudden noise, eyes wide, as three figures came into view.
“HINATA-CHAN!!” Nishinoya screamed, a geeky smile splashed across his lips feeding up to the crinkles in his eyes. Faux tears were streaming from Tanka and Nishinoya as they ran towards the trio at full speed, arms outstretched before them. Behind them Yamaguchi was carrying a volleyball looking sheepish, a light blush tinting his cheeks as he waved a small hello.
(Y/n) began to stand only to be tackled to the ground by both Nishinoya and Tanaka. She screamed as they trapped her in an overbearing hug.
“You idiots that hurt!” She laughed, pushing them off of her as she sat up and bonked both their heads simultaneously. They immediately wrapped their arms around her once more.
“We missed yOU SO MUCH!!” Nishinoya cried.
“We were just too jealous of your picnic, we couldn’t help but crash it!!” Tanaka wept, pulling away and leaning back to look at Kiyoko.
“Please don’t be mad~” He said to her, giving the upperclassmen puppy dog eyes. Kiyoko bit back a smile and maintained her aloofness, even if barely so.
“Don’t look at me, this picnic was Hinata-chan’s idea.” She said matter of factly, Tanaka turned back to (Y/n).
“C'mon please leT US STAY WE JUST WANNA BE WITH OUR PRECIOUS MANAGERS!” Tanaka bawled, throwing his arms around (Y/n) yet again. She sighed in feigned annoyance.
“Hi hi Hinata-chan, Kiyoko-senpai, Yachi-san.” Yamaguchi cut in, finally catching up to his friends under the tree. He placed the volleyball down gently before taking a seat next to Yachi, bumping her shoulder lightly with a smile. (Y/n)’s heart surged and she bit her lip to conceal the smile threatening to burst out.
“Fineee, you guys can stay.” She sighed, drawing it out a little too much. Tanaka and Nishinoya rejoiced, jumping to their feet as they chanted on about being accepted into the “managers only” hang out. The six team mates sat under golden sunlight, cracking jokes and chatting mindlessly until the sun set.
That is until Nishinoya’s energy got the best of him and he and Tanaka insisted on showing (Y/n) how to receive and serve. Which might have been a great idea if Tanka and Nishinoya weren’t such terrible teachers. In the end Yamaguchi went home with a bruise on his head and (Y/n) vowed to never touch a volleyball again. She swore everyone to secrecy over Yamaguchi’s injury, praying that Tsukishima wouldn’t find out and kill her over it. Too bad Yamaguchi was a terrible liar.
CH.09 II pic-nic date!!
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Sky
Perhaps this will be hard to read. Laments often are. It may bring you comfort, or it may make you angry. It may make you think more of me, or less. It may offend you. Rest assured, it offends me. So be it.
Once upon a time, there was a man who spoke of torture as a good in and of itself, to be pursued whether it was effective or not. Who promised to use the power of the state to enact violence upon scapegoated religious and ethnic minorities. Who insisted upon framing our struggle against Mideast terror groups in the same religious terms the terrorists themselves insist upon. Who praised himself for nursing petty grudges, for treating revenge as justice. Who threatened the free press with retaliation for reporting certain truths about him. Who bragged about sexual assault. Who mocked people more brave than himself and called their bravery weakness. Who lied seemingly without strategy, as if lies were good to tell only for the telling, who showed a shocking indifference to the very concept of truth. Who praised brutal dictators for their brutal methods. Who seemed (and seems) to be receiving shadowy support from a brutal dictator. Who claimed dictatorial power for himself.
This is fine.
He appeared entirely confused about the basic facts of geopolitical reality, or of how our government works, or even of the function within our government of the role he proposed to take on. He had a clear and obvious history of fraud and hucksterism, of enriching himself at the benefit of others with less leverage, and was even engaged throughout his campaign in a lawsuit for defrauding college students, since settled for $25 million dollars. He speculated with frightening casualness about destabilizing actions: proliferation and even use of nuclear weapons, defaulting on our debts and our treaties, backing out of our most long-standing alliances. He publicly called upon the intelligence apparatuses of foreign governments to intercede in our election on his behalf, and it seems increasingly likely they may have obliged. He whipped his crowds into frenzies, then directed their ire toward journalists reporting the event, many of whom he threatened to prosecute once in power. He offered to imprison his political adversary, to the delight of his chanting crowds, who wore t-shirts decorated with the flag celebrating the war to preserve American slavery, decorated with vulgar slogans of violence and rage. He promised to steer us directly into the deadly heart of the oncoming climate catastrophe; having claimed the work of men more intelligent and knowledgeable than he was nothing but a Chinese hoax, he sneered at the very idea of new energy sources.
This is fine.
That’s a short list. It’s a hell of a short list. But wait, listen: The people went for it.
Tens of millions of people voted to make him the most powerful man in the world. He will soon have the ability to blast the planet to an irradiated cinder, if he sees fit. He will continue to run his business, which appears to involve sitting in a golden throne and putting his names on things. He's given every indication, despite some laughably thin feints toward divestment, he will run that business from the Oval Office. Maybe he’ll even put his name on new things, like laws. Laws: a whole new product line for Trump International, and a potentially lucrative one. He owes the banks of foreign powers millions and millions of dollars. One wonders what laws they’ll want passed. Word is, his first foreign trip will be to visit Vladimir Putin. Heigh-ho.
His party is in control, too. They don't seem bothered by any of this. They're a bit more focused on providing checks and balances upon ethics watchdogs who have pointed out their party leader's multifarious and historically unprecedented infractions. They'd rather ignore those, so they can immediately—immediately—get down to the serious business of divesting millions and millions of the most vulnerable people in our society from the only chance they have at affordable health coverage. They plan to replace this program with something...someday. Their speculation so far indicates they will be replacing it with the opportunity to save up hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay for medical bills if you need them someday, or, if you don't have hundreds of thousands of spare dollars, to maybe go screw yourself. So, a lot of people are going to die in coming years, that would otherwise have lived, and they're rushing to make it happen. My, look at them laugh.
Republican lawmakers sign legislation to repeal ACA and defund women's health care access through Planned Parenthood, January 2016
Meanwhile, they're ignoring as peccadilloes the caricatured infractions of a man who intends to keep his own private security detail around him, who expounds upon provable lies, and then when exposed simply doubles down on the lie, who is considering throwing the press out of the White House, and other maneuvers straight out of the dictator handbook. It's really something to see. It's a new order, trumping the old. Isn't it great again?
Laura Ingraham, speaker at the Republican National Convention, 2016.
It’s hard to understand what people hoped for from him other than this. It’s hard not to assume they were responding to the shockingly frank bigotry, his promises to return to an earlier time, the knowing use of slogans used byracists and fascists of days past. These are certainly what seemed to generate all the most popular applause lines. But I don’t want to think that of my country or my fellow citizens. I really want it to be something else. Let us consider other possibilities. Many seem to think that a great thing about him was his frankness. They liked that he “tells it the way it is.” Then again, those same people seemed most likely to think that he didn’t really mean his more shocking proposals. It’s a bit confusing, then, parsing what is meant by ‘telling it like it is,' as it appears to rely on selective trust in insincerity. Many voters, excited by promises to “drain the swamp,” but now disappointed by the recent appointment of a Goldman Sachs foreclosure kingpin to Treasury, of a Putin-connected oil executive to State, and by other signals the new president has given about his eagerness to rob us all blind, have been admonished by a key advisor for taking his words so literally. The 'alt-right' Neo Nazis and the KKK are very excited, for what it’s worth, about the more shocking proposals, and they remain confident our new leader meant every word.
You're really going to want to go to video on this one.
Some people thought he would be less likely to make them pay more in taxes, I suppose. So perhaps at last now we know the answer to the old hypothetical about whether we’d be willing to travel through time and sacrifice our lives to prevent the rise of a self-professing tyrant. Answer: We wouldn’t even suffer a hypothetical increase in our income taxes. I'm told folks voted for Trump because they were tired of being called racist. I imagine that was hard for them—who wants to be considered racist? If this complaint is yours, I imagine reading this (if you're still reading) is also hard. I sympathize; it's not particularly easy to write. But then again, the response seems an odd retort to the complaint. If your persistent problem is people keep telling you there is spinach in your teeth, you might consider getting a mirror and taking a look, rather than voting for the Jolly Green Giant running on a platform of outlawing all floss. And, perhaps, if it is painful to be considered racist, consider this: it may be all the more painful to live under racist oppression.
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KKK Newspaper, The Crusader, endorses Trump.
Many seem to have mainly enjoyed that he wasn’t Hillary Clinton, and it’s certainly true to say many concerns and criticisms could be levied against her. But the man they voted for as an alternative already stood actualized as the cartoon parody of any potential danger she may have hypothetically posed. Bad judgment? Corruption? Fraud? A proclivity to violent retaliation? A worry about temperament? Untrustworthiness? Lack of transparency? It’s hard to believe this all had much to do with Hillary Clinton and her faults. Hard to believe this list of concerns would yours, but your acceptable alternative would be Donald Trump.
Or maybe they believed the more lurid stories, the debunked, the ridiculous. Hillary’s murdered 80 people close to her. She invented cancer and put it in your cell phone battery. She is secretly seven tiny demons all stacked up in a pantsuit and glued together with the blood of aborted fetuses. She controls the Yosemite supervolcano, along with a cabal comprised of George Soros and 17 other Jewish industrialists. I don’t know what all. I know there are people like this, who have seceded from objective reality into a dystopian alternate dimension, where they can perhaps supplement the powerlessness they feel in their lives with the comfort of false control, of being one of the few with the secret knowledge unavailable to the masses. I don’t know what to do with them, because they live in an alternate dimension. And, it must be said, I don’t think there are 63 million of them.
So here we are. In grave moral and physical danger. All of us. And for what? I’ve heard the same line again and again since the election: “America isn’t a different country today than it was before the election.” Jon Stewart trotted it out. I think I heard it from President Obama.
I fear I agree with the statement. I’m puzzled, though, because I think it is meant to be reassuring, to think we’ve always been the country capable of such a choice.
The statement doesn’t imply that we’re still great. It implies that we were never good.
It has to be admitted, people responded to Trump for what he is. Which means we are left with the statements and proposals by which he distinguished himself. And millions of us—tens of millions—preferred him specifically for his points of difference. Excited by his promises to return us to a time when our system existed only for certain people, and the preferences and needs of all others were beneath consideration, or at least willing to overlook that, in favor of some material or policy advantage somewhere. And ultimately, the reason is immaterial. A man ran for president promising to use the power of the state to bring violence to scapegoated religious and ethnic minorities, to make America torture again, to make it easier for an already-militarized police force to employ violence, who praised dictators, who bragged about sexual assault, who praised vengeance as good, who promoted as fact debunked conspiracy, who stated his determination to ignore as conspiracy what the data overwhelmingly indicates is an oncoming extinction-level event. There was some other reason to vote for him, that allowed you to overlook these facts? Save it, please. It really doesn't matter. It was a bad reason. We have seen this movie before. Historians have a word for Germans who joined the Nazi party, not because they hated Jews, but out of a hope for restored patriotism, or a sense of economic anxiety, or a hope to preserve their religious values, or dislike of their opponents, or raw political opportunism, or convenience, or ignorance, or greed. That word is "Nazi." Nobody cares about their motives anymore. They joined what they joined. They lent their support and their moral approval. And, in so doing, they bound themselves to everything that came after. Who cares any more what particular knot they used in the binding? What am I saying here? Am I saying we are Nazis? The answer, I suppose, has to be 'no.' Only Nazis are Nazis. We are Americans. But what that will mean in decades to come—'American'—has been thrown into hazard. We used to be the sort of place that doesn't allow Donald Trumps to happen. That's gone now, along with that specific sort of trust the world once had in us. In any case, what we seem to now be trying to redefine 'American' to mean seems like a rough beast, and omnivorous. Democracy reveals us by our choices and our actions, not our intentions. We are what we are. And Donald Trump will be president.
As a result, I’m bereft. Bereft of the country I thought I was living in. Bereft of the people I thought I lived among. Bereft of what I believed was a shared direction despite divergent opinions. Bereft of a belief in the possibility of a common dialogue or even a common reality. Bereft in confidence in basic decency and intelligence. Bereft of the spiritual heritage I was born into, because of course Trump’s most enthusiastic supporters were white Christians. Christians voting for a new Herod with the power of a Caesar is a pretty good joke for the universe to tell, I suppose. He’s even promised to go after the (anchor) babies.
My translation of the Bible is full of all this toff about loving your enemy, about how love of money is the root of evil, about showing hospitality to the widow and orphan and the immigrant, and admonishments against drawing the sword lest you die on it. My reading of the Bible doesn't ask "but who's going to pay for that?" My reading of the Bible suggests to me that if you wish to pretend to care about babies unborn, maybe you shouldn’t be so hostile to the idea of making sure they’re cared for once they are born and inconveniently and expensively needy, and perhaps you shouldn’t make so many of their mothers into the welfare-queen boogie-men of your whole realpolitik, and perhaps you shouldn't make weaponry a right more important than health and food. Maybe healing and wholeness and liberty is something that should be available to even the pagan. Maybe the door is open for the tax collector and the prostitute and the Samaritan. Maybe, unencumbered by the overweening need to be perceived as correct in every moral posture, they've even entered that door ahead of us as we do our best to hold it shut against unworthy access.
Maybe I got a trash translation. Maybe the other ones are all about the joys of using political power for your own aggrandizement instead of the call to self-sacrifice for the benefit of others, about the dangers of anchor babies and welfare mothers, about how paying tax money toward a shared life is tyranny, about how with terrorists you have to kill the families, folks, believe me, kill the women and children, you’ve got to go after the families, and we’re gonna torture again, folks, we’re gonna torture, believe me…
You know what? I believe him.
WWJD Check: White Evangelicals are the group most likely favor use of torture by a military superpower.
* * * You wake up and the sky is gone. At times that’s how it seems. You wonder at it: how could there not be a sky? What will become of us now, in this world without a sky? Was it ever there, or did we just imagine it there, as an exercise of collective will?
And then you talk to other people who insist the sky is there. They say: It’s not gone, it’s just red now. Don’t be a sore loser, just because you didn’t want it red. Accept that we did want it red. It’ll be fine if it’s red. And anyway, the banks seem to like it red. Move on with your life. Suck it up. Hope that the red sky will be as good as the blue one. But the sky isn’t red. It’s not anything. It’s just … not. It is a not-ness. An un-sky. A nothing.
And then you start talking to people who laugh, not without compassion, that you ever fell for the idea there was a sky. They say: That big vast emptiness? Oh, yes. That’s always been there for us. Is it there for you now? How… interesting. We can tell you a thing or two about that emptiness, if you’d listen. We’ve been watching it an awful long time.
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American Nazi Rally, Madison Square Garden, 1939
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Future Georgia Representative and Civil Rights pioneer John Lewis, beaten by a state trooper on "Bloody Sunday" in 1965.
Oh. Will he. Will he do that.
The sky is the future. Or it was the future. That’s how it seems, at times. How odd, to speak of the future in the past tense.
But the past tense presents us with further troubles. It seems the past is gone, too.
In 1965, everybody thought King was great, and nobody tried to dismiss him by tying him to violence.
Growing up, we were taught that we were a kind and good and just nation. The story we were given was of a nation born of a righteous cause, not quite made perfect by the godlike men who forged it, but honed to apotheosis over the decades that followed. The destruction of the native nations and their people, ah, tsk, a shame, we’d change it if we could, but unfortunately in the past and unrecoverable. Slavery, a dark stain, but by now expunged entirely. Jim Crow, its shameful cousin, absorbed by a saint named King, who led a boycott (a pleasant and polite and non-disruptive one, it seems, in our memories), then stood on some stairs to give a universally-admired speech about his dream of inclusion, and then, his work seemingly accomplished, having seemingly changed minds forever, ascended harmlessly into the clouds.
Somehow we are never culpable. It was always a long time ago. Mistakes were made, but we’d never make them ourselves. It was always somebody else holding the gun, the whip. We arrived here after that, you see, born blameless, without any afterbirth or shock, into the Greatest Country in the World. Our holocausts we absolved ourselves of, because they served to illustrate not the evil we’d done, but how far we’d come from it. We stood on the prow of the ship, looking forward as we cut new water, not aft looking back at whatever may have been churned up in the wake. Not big on the rear-view mirror, us, not fans of the over-the-shoulder glance. We’d tell ourselves stories of what lay behind. We’d imagine ourselves into those stories of darker times, making ourselves the protagonists. We would have been the ones to build false walls in our home to hide slaves. We would have marched with King. We would have spoken out against the Japanese camps. We would have stood at Stonewall.
Our moral arc bends ever toward justice; an inevitable thing. That was the story.
America was great, because it was good. All the old hits.
People still alive can remember this sort of thing very well.
This kid is probably still alive. As are most of his classmates. As are the children with whom he refused to attend school.
This also happened within living memory.
It's amazing what people consider communism. I mean back then, of course.
Sometimes you’d hear stories about a random injustice or brutality. A policeman who had become a little too enthusiastic. A bad apple, and surely justice was served. If not, it’d have been in the papers You’d hear about it in the papers if it hadn’t been. A gay teen beaten to death in a cornfield. A car with the banner of the struggle to preserve human slavery on the bumper sticker. The KKK marching again, how quaint. Ah, you’d think, if you were like me. We still have some work to do. Cleanup on aisle seven.
Technology has changed that. We see with new eyes now, unless we choose not to. We see videos, dozens and dozens of them now, new ones each week it seems, of police shooting unarmed black people. Again and again and again and again. Can you remember all the names? I can't anymore. And I ask myself: why can't I?
We see the speed with which so many seem willing to seek and find the nearest handy reason the victim deserved his or her fate. We see the news organizations find a Sunday School photo for the shooter and a mugshot to represent the victim. We see acquittal and acquittal and acquittal. We see failure to prosecute.
And, perhaps, we begin to wonder.
We see the people protesting, unarmed, asking only that their lives be thought to matter as much as another’s, and we see the stormtroopers with their massive guns and their tanks, arrayed against a civilian population almost reflexively, like defenses in an organism’s bloodstream mustering against a disease. And we wondered, perhaps: why do they look so much—so exactly, if we’re honest—like an occupying force?
We saw the white ranchers seize government land, pointing their guns directly at law enforcement officials, speaking openly of armed insurrection against the government, of revolution, of war. We saw them, later, seizing a government building. They weren’t protesting after centuries seeing their children and brothers and sisters killed without consequence by authority. Rather, they didn’t want to have to pay a grazing fee. Was it with surprise that we saw it: law enforcement seemed less frightened of these white men and their guns than they had an unarmed black woman in a sundress, or a 12 year old boy playing in a park? Were we surprised to see they seemed so level-headed in this situation, so much less likely to respond with immediate lethal force?
Why, those fellows with their arsenal didn’t even get convicted. They were less threatening to the system, apparently, than a man, arms up, lying on the ground next to his autistic ward begging not to be shot. (He was shot.) We might contrast to the treatment of the protesters at Standing Rock, and wonder…is the Holocaust against native people relegated only to the past? Would we change it, if we could?
We wonder: Are we seeing the system breaking down, unable to cope with new challenges? Or are we seeing a system working exactly as it’s always intended? Do we as a collective of 'white' people secretly want the police to control brown people by force? Are we secretly hoping that force will prove lethal, only occasionally enough to soothe our consciences, but frequently enough to promote an order less immediately costly, than the pain of culpability, than the justice of restitution?
If not, why are prosecutions so rare, and convictions even less so?
If not, why aren’t we protesting these killings? Why aren’t we in the streets?
Do all lives matter? If so, why wouldn’t we act like it?
White Christian America reveres Dr. King, it should be noted. You remember him—the peaceful guy who gave the speech that ended racism. If Facebook and newspaper op eds are any measure, we white Christians can’t stop bringing him up, almost as a cudgel, an admonishment to those today who would dare ask for their own human dignity, for not doing it as antiseptically as we remember it being done by him. And perhaps people begin to wonder: Why was King enshrined as 'the peaceful one' only once he was peacefully dead? Is King’s being safely dead our favorite thing about him? These days, we white Christians can claim to have brought his dream to reality (the white guy is usually the hero of the story in the movie), and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. will not protest—and we white Christians don’t like protest. Heavens, no—it’s so divisive. Dr. King, he wouldn’t approve of this protest, nor that one, and certainly not that one. His protests were so polite! Why, nobody had any problem with them at all! Dr. King agrees with all of us in white Christian America so much, these days. Oh my, he never stops agreeing with us. Just ask us; we’ll tell you. Yes, and what ever happened to Dr. King, anyway, after he gave that speech that ended all inequality forever?
But no matter, I told myself. That’s a dying strain, it's not who we are these days. That’s just a few bad apples. We’ve made so much progress. They’ll exhaust themselves in a final futile sputter. We’re just about to turn the corner. Sure there are racists, bigots, white supremacists, lost-causers, and they're loud, but they're dying out, and they know it. They'll eventually run somebody on an overtly racist platform, and they'll lose huge—I disagree with Republicans, but most of them won't stand for stark white supremacy, surely, and obviously Christians won't be able to align themselves with it — and we’ll show them it’s no use, and they’ll retreat, retrench to even positions even more compromised, less fortified, further back, smaller, diminished. We’re a better country than that.
But then Donald Trump, a half-rate and transparently obvious bullshit artist, a greasy reality TV star most skilled at demonstrating his manifest ignorance, promising mostly the goodness of violence and the strength of vengeance, offering to return America to an earlier time, railing against the inconvenience of practicing sensitivity toward the perspectives of others (he called it 'political correctness'), received 63 million geographically-convenient votes to become the most powerful person in the world. Perhaps, if you’re like me, you took a moment then to ponder that statement about bad apples and what they do to the whole barrel. The meaning of it. And, perhaps, another saying, about recognizing a tree by its fruit. And, it must be said, though we refuse to face it: In America, our trees have long borne a strange fruit.
Here’s what we’ve lost, or at least what I’ve lost: The assumption of goodness’s inevitability. The assumption of goodness of those around me. The assumption of good intent in their hearts. The assumption that the future is still there. The assumption that most of us will die of old age. Here's what I've lost, the one favor Donald Trump may ever do for me: The wool from my eyes. An illusion, particularly a pretty and a convincing one, can be a painful thing to lose.
I’ve gained a vision of tens of millions of people desperate to bend history’s arc back toward an injustice that favored them, and willing to fight for that regression, willing even to risk species-wide extinction rather than suffer the pain of facing the consequences of their own mountainous indifference.
The moral arc of the universe may bend toward justice, but the gears of history grind the weak. There are people now who are giddy, almost with the air of a teenager behind the wheel of a sweet-sixteen hot rod, to test out their perceived new warrant to deliver retributive and violent indifference to the people they deem unlovely. A headscarf yanked off here. A slur shouted in public there. A swastika scrawled on a wall here. A Neo Nazi propagandist advising the President of the United States in the corridors of power there. A crowd of seig heils in a government building, in praise of our new leader here. A few million children stripped of health insurance with no serious attempt at a replacement there.
They think this is allowed now. Sixty-three million people, complacently or enthusiastically or ignorantly aligned with white supremacy, gave them the idea it is. It’s going to be our job to show them otherwise. We must show them otherwise. And. Even if you voted for Trump—especially if you voted for Trump—the door is wide open for you to join in that struggle. You show them otherwise, too. All you have to do to join...is join. Your intentions were good? Excellent. I believe you. I've badly misunderstood you? Excellent. I believe you. Now, show it. Show your good intention by your good actions. You, like all of us, possess tremendous moral authority. Don't lend it any longer to those who have promised to squander it on atrocity. They seem intent on doing as they say. If you wait too long, they will leave you with none left to withdraw. Use it to protect those different than you. Use it against your own advantage, for the advantage of those who have none. And. If you, like me, did not vote for Trump, there is the great danger of complicity. You will be offered, if you, like me are white and straight and employed and well-off and cis-gendered and able-bodied and healthy and property-owning, the opportunity to be indifferent. Resist that current.
If the universe bends toward justice, the engine it has chosen for this good work is the hard and sacrificial struggle of good people willing to acknowledge the basic humanity of all other people. People who don’t think profitability is the foundational metric of goodness. People who don't think life holds a value that begins at conception but ends the moment it enters poverty. People bold and willing to become peaceful pebbles in the gears. To give time and money. To link arms with a married gay couple. To take sides in a cafeteria skirmish with a transgendered teen. To take a truncheon in the head for a Muslim. To paraphrase Jesus (another favorite who those of us in white Christian America appear by our words and deeds to consider as safely dead as Dr. King): to live, first you must die.
Or, as another poet says, love’s the only engine of survival.
So, what’s next?
First, we lament. We acknowledge the un-sky, the void. We listen to those who’ve been staring at it far longer than us. We name the challenge with clear eyes. That, I suppose, is what this has been.
And then we get to work. Let us hope our leaders will prove other than than they say they will. Let us not be so naive to think it likely. Let us oppose in a fierce and broken love. Let us meet with friends, we eat good meals with them. Let us consider people before money, and notice where our society fails to do so. Let us make art, and we try to make it well. Let us refuse to allow a comfortable silence to enfold a hateful or ignorant statement. Let us stand up against hate, bodily if necessary. Let us learn our system, and work within it. Let us call our leaders, and advocate for those who suffer. Let us practice generosity without care for the merit of the beneficiary, but only for their need. Let us investigate before we publish. Let us loudly proclaim the humanity others try to diminish. Let loudly proclaim the humanity of those who do not share our values, even as we oppose. Let us never celebrate the suffering of those who oppose us, for they suffer, too. Let us seek to divest ourselves of unearned cultural advantage. Let us enter spaces where our voices are not primary, and listen without thinking to speak. Let us create space to speak, in places where our voices are primary, for those who have had no voice. Let us reject optimism and blind belief. Let us embrace hope. Let us work. Let us work. Let us work. We are a people who have dreamed of the sky. I’d like to see if we can make it real.
source: http://www.armoxon.com/2017/01/sky.html (January 16, 2017)
VOTE
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new beginnings and starting over || chapter one
Read it on Ao3 || next
The night they met, he asked her what her biggest secret is. The music was drumming in their ears and it seems that the most it would be willing to allow is them to know only the other’s name, yet she heard his 4th question loud and clear like he just used a speaker in the middle of a desert.
“What’s your biggest secret?” he asked groggily, complimented with a cockiness in his eyes and a half-drunk smile on his lips that told Marinette that he wanted someone to ask him the same thing. Like he came here to escape. That wouldn’t be exactly new. Many people go to bars either to have fun or to just pretend like the outside world didn’t exist even for a little while.
What startled Marinette, though, is that it was a-seemingly-newly-returned-from-college-in-the-States Adrien Agreste in front of her. The supermodel son of fashion giant Gabriel Agreste, and an overall seemingly perfect person, with his many privileges Marinette couldn’t dare to fathom, his education, his connections, and the complex simplicity of his charming smile that reaches up to his eyes even if the corners of his lips are barely pulled up. One look at him, and you’d think that you’d just laid your eyes on the most beautiful man on the planet, and you’d feel guilty and look away because it felt illegal to see Adonis himself on the mortal world. It wasn’t just his physical appearance that makes him attractive; his natural and genuine charisma that shines through is what makes him a living god to some.
But right now, in a not very five-star bar, Marinette sat across a very human, very vulnerable Adrien Agreste.
“Wh-what?” she asked him.
He took a sip of his drink, turned to her, and asked her again. “What’s your biggest secret?”
Marinette collected herself, thinking. “Huh, I don’t really know, if I’m being honest.” She knew perfectly well what her answer is. It’s been the same one for more than five years. But even that is too big just to share to anyone. Even if it is the son of her idol. “Um, I trace my previous designs for my projects sometimes. So I’m basically plagiarizing from myself,” she added.
Adrien chuckled. “Come on, you have to tell me something bigger than that.” There it is again. That damned smile that makes both girls and boys weak in the knees, and if Marinette wasn’t sitting right now, she most definitely would’ve buckled the first sentence into their conversation.
“Hey cut me some slack, it’s been a long day,” she replied. “What about you, huh? What’s Mr. Model’s biggest secret?”
“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t living my life,” he said quickly and took a sip. He said it way too quickly for Marinette’s liking. The smile on her face dropped just as quickly, too.
“Well now I feel guilty for saying my answer,” she replied, trying to light up the mood. It didn’t seem to work to the extent that she wanted it to, as Adrien just looked at her and lifted the corner of his mouth slightly. Marinette shifted in her seat. “Alright, my turn to ask a question. What is something you’re grateful about?”
That made him think. What in his life is he truly grateful about? His soulless luxury apartment? His easy passes in events he doesn’t want to go to? His travels for work? Yeah, sure. All great things, don’t get him wrong. He knows some would kill for the things that he has, and he’s grateful for them, truly. But Adrien isn’t exactly the materialistic type. He craves the more abstract things like experience, intellect, and love. Romantic, platonic, familial, it doesn’t matter. Love, as intense and playful as it is, is love. And when you’re loved, you’re cared for, and you’re supported, and you’re not ignored.
“I guess, I’d say that I’m grateful for her,” Adrien finally answered.
So, someone had finally stolen the heart of Paris’ most eligible bachelor. To say it didn’t hurt Marinette even a little, would be to lie. Hey, you can’t really blame her. When someone as dedicated and passionate about fashion that they spend hours and hours on end looking at magazines and Adrien’s face popping up in almost everyone of them, it’s basically impossible to not develop even a slight crush on him.
“Well, if you weren’t living your life right now, then you wouldn’t have met her.” She had no idea who the girl Adrien is even talking about, but the way he referred to her in that single sentence as if he’d risk his life for her said everything that Marinette needed to know.
Adrien just looked at her strangely. Marinette couldn’t exactly tell what he’s feeling, but she knows that the gears in his head are turning. She can see it in his furrowed brows, tiny frown, and concentrated gaze alone. She waited for him, still.
“Good point,” was all he said and took another sip of his drink.
For a few seconds, there was an uncomfortable silence lingering in the thin air of the crowded bar. Marinette let her eyes wander around those few seconds looking for her friend, until settling on the blond boy sitting next to her again. Like before, her gaze is caught in the trap of Adrien’s enticing aura.
“You know everyone feels that way from time to time,” she starts, unable to stand the silence any longer. “Sometimes for a long time, sometimes for just a millisecond. But that doesn’t make them any less irrelevant. My advice, think of all the bad things-“
“How is that going to help?” Adrien interrupted, a little harsher than he intended.
Marinette just gave him a look and continued. “Think of all the bad things. Let yourself feel them. Get to know them, then think of the good things. Let yourself feel those too. And think. Then you’d realize that you never would have experienced all the best memories that you have if you hadn’t experienced all the terrible and painful ones too and if you aren’t living the life you’re living now.“ She leaned away from him and looked at her drink. “At least, that’s what I do,” she said, more quietly.
Another silence. But this time, Adrien’s focus was solely on the girl next to her and not his drink. Out of all the things he expected from going to drink in a very public place instead of in his apartment, he did not expect to get a taste of free therapy. But hey, with how things are going in his life, he’ll take it with open arms. The only thing is, is that now he doesn’t know how to respond. “Thanks,” was his genius reply. “So ummm, what’d you wanna do after college?”
“Hmm?” Marinette looks at him surprised that he still wanted to talk to her. “Oh, um, I’m hoping to work in the fashion industry, actually,” finally processing what he said. “You?”
“I don’t know yet, surprisingly.” Adrien just shrugs. He doesn’t know, truly. Even with all the opportunities already in his plate served with an elegant plating, he doesn’t feel like he could follow through any of them. He’s already in business school, preparing to success his father, and mainly just to please him even despite their oh so loving relationship they have where they only talk when it’s for business. Modeling, he grew to love over time, being his excuse to be as far away from his father as he could from time to time. And as for him being Chat Noir, well, he knows that it’s not a lifetime thing, and he already messed that up.
He hasn’t been Chat Noir in almost three years. He had transformed from time to time, but never the same-old Chat Noir fighting side by side with Ladybug. Hell, even that, he screwed up in when he spent his last 2 weeks and 4 days of being in Paris as Chat Blanc fighting against Ladybug. But now, being back home, if could even claim it that, he’s determined to make things right again with Ladybug. He just needs a little bit more push from alcohol tonight before he does anything stupid in the days that he’s here.
Before Marinette could say something back, someone tapped on her shoulder. They both look back to see a boy in a simple blue t-shirt and headphones around his neck. With him, was a very drunk and giggling Alya that he’s struggling to hold up. “Hey, Marinette? Sorry to disturb you, but I think it’s time for Alya to go home, she already threw up twice in the restroom.” So that was where she was.
“Yeah, I better go take Alya home. Thanks Nino,” she said and turned to Adrien. “I guess this is goodbye for now, huh?”
“I guess so,” was all he said and gave her one of his dashing smiles. “Thanks, again, for the talk. I hope to see you again sometime.”
Marinette just returned his smiled and left carrying a delirious Alya. On her way out, she heard the two boys they left conversing.
“Oh. Uh, hey dude! I’m Nino.” He smiled and introduced himself when he noticed Adrien.
“Hi, I’m Adrien,” he said with his bright smile.
#miraculous ladybug#adrienette#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#adrien x marinette#chat noir#ladybug#fluff#angst#idk wut to put#fanfic#ig#lmao sorry for this#ik this is bad but it’s 2am and I’m bored#wow anya can write?
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