#and I can’t believe they’ve actually gone mini golfing

[thelunarbar]

If only Judge were here too then it would be perfect

[acesydneysage]

A Sydney and Eddie retrospective

@vablappreciationweek Favorite familial relationship: The Melrose Twins

Part 1, Books 1-3: The Nice, Cute Trilogy Where a Friendship Blooms and Nothing Bad Happens

Part 2

In Bloodlines, Sydney and Eddie are still getting to know each other. Eddie seems to find Sydney's awkwardness endearing, and they have a certain camaraderie as The Responsible Ones. I think the first time he calls her sis is really cute, even if they don't actually think of each other as siblings yet:

I guess I shouldn’t say everything that comes to mind,” I murmured to Eddie. I was used to being direct in social situations, but it occurred to me that simply saying “Yeah, totally!” would’ve probably been the correct response. I’d had few friends my own age and was out of practice. Eddie grinned at me. ��I don’t know, sis. You’re pretty entertaining as you are. Keep it up."

There's a lot of cuteness. Eddie insists on teaching Sydney how to throw a puch, to keep his promise to Clarence. And there's this adorable little fist bump too:

I returned to my desk and received an approving fist bump from Eddie. “Nice work. You don’t have to take a real class. Of course, if she’s got you reading Latin, maybe it’ll be worse than a real class.” “I like Latin,” I said with absolute seriousness. “It’s fun.” Eddie shook his head and said in a very, very low voice: “I can’t believe you think we’re the strange ones.”

That last line brings me to the conflict. Even if the power dynamics for it to be oppression aren't there (and Eddie can't exactly claim his society treats humans amazingly well in my opinion), having someone think that you're an evil, unnatural creature cannot be fun. They mostly don't let it get too far because they're both very professional, so what you get is a thoughtless comment from Sydney and answering jab from Eddie.

“Even a dhampir like you should know that.” He smiled ruefully. ‘“Even a dhampir like me?’” I supposed I’d been a little insulting, but it couldn’t be helped. [...] That wry smile returned. “Everything’s black and white with you Alchemists, isn’t it? Do you think you can really stop her from doing anything? You should know better. Even your childhood couldn’t have been that abnormal.” With that slap in the face, Eddie stalked off, leaving me aghast.

The more explicit conflict they have surrounds Jill's dating life, and the taboo of vampire/human relationships, and that's how we get Lee. The mini-golf family outing is very cute, the twins actually talk in sync at one point, Eddie steps up when he thinks Adrian is making Sydney unconfortable, and he claims that the Dracula statue incident is the first time he heard her laugh. But of course it leads to trouble in the form of Jill's escapade with Lee.

When Sydney explodes about feeling like their mom afterwards (I love that speech), Eddie is included for not scaring off Micah. He's honestly regretful about not pulling his weight, even though she says he's not as bad as the others. I think their relationship is pretty smooth from then on. After that talk they seem to understand each other better.

“Spirit users can take antidepressants, can’t they? If he’s worried about it becoming a problem, then he needs to step up and take charge. He has a choice. He’s not helpless. There are no victims here.” Eddie studied me for several seconds. “And I thought I had a harsh view on life.” “You have a harsh life,” I corrected. “But yours is built around the idea that you always have to take care of other people. I was raised to believe that’s necessary sometimes but that everyone still needs to try to take care of themselves.” “And yet here you are.”

The similarities between Sydney and Eddie's worldviews should be taken as a sign that Guardian ideology is about as messed up as Alchemist ideology, to be honest. But other than her hang-ups about vampires she always thought pretty highly of him:

Eddie was the one who finally spoke, his words soothing and kind. He so often gave off the impression of a do-or-die warrior that it was surprising to realize he was actually very compassionate.

Once Adrian tells her about Mason, she has more insight into the tragic past he hides behind his easygoing nature. I'm keeping this the happy post,more on Eddie's tragic past on the next one. By the end of the book, they've spent a more significant amount of time together, and even though Sydney is not great a reading people and Guardians are probably very good at hiding their feelings, she's the one who notices his feelings for Jill, because she's the one who's paying attention to him.

In The Golden Lily, Sydney is already pretty fond of the whole gang (and feeling pretty conflicted about it), and they clearly like her a lot, too. She spends only a weekend away and she already misses all of them. Eddie is so relieved she's back in town to save him from the crazy. There's more talk about their similarities, "Like me, he understood duty", and they continue to have Mom Friend and Dad Friend solidarity:

Jeans, khakis, a few solid colored T-shirts. They were very practical, very much something a no-nonsense guy like Eddie would pick out. I approved. “The size actually looks right. Good eye. We’ll have to send you out shopping more often.” “If that’s what I have to do,” he said, face serious. I couldn’t help but laugh in surprise. “I was joking.” I put the shirts back in the bag. “I know that couldn’t have been fun.” Eddie’s face gave nothing away. “Oh, come on. It’s okay. You don’t have to play stoic with me. I know you didn’t enjoy it.” “I’m here to do a job. Doesn’t matter if I enjoy it or not.” I started to protest but then thought better of it. After all, wasn’t that my philosophy too? Sacrificing my own wants for higher goals? Eddie was intensely dedicated to this mission. He never backed down. I expected nothing less from him than single-minded focus. [...] “Sydney,” he said gently. “You’re the most responsible person I know, but this isn’t what you’re here to do. You don’t have to take care of everything and everyone.” “I don’t mind,” I said automatically. “It is what I’m here for.” But even as I said it, I wondered if that was true. A bit of the anxiety from the bunker returned, making me question if what I did was truly Alchemist responsibility or the desire to help those who—against protocol—had become my friends. “See? Now you sound just like I did earlier.” He stood up and flashed me a grin. “You want to come with me to Adrian’s? Be responsible together?”

Of course by this point Sydney is unconfortable with her image as the hyper responsible one who's all about duty and never has fun. With Sydney encouraging Eddie in his feelings for Jill, and Eddie thinking Sydney going out on a date isn't a bad idea, thoughout TGL they're telling each other that it's okay to have feelings and relax a little, and not be completely focused on duty all of the time. "I'm not gonna do it, but you totally should."

Sydney explicitly thinks of Eddie and the gang as her friends at this point. I don't have anything to say about this, it's just cute banter, I'm gonna claim that it shows that they already have a more relaxed, friendly dynamic:

Eddie and I exchanged glances. So much for avoiding her indiscretions. “Improving how exactly?” I asked. “In combat, in following the dress code, or in keeping her hands to herself?” “Or in turning off caps-lock?” added Eddie. “You noticed that too?” I asked. “Hard not to,” he said.

Eddie just happens to be hanging around her dorm at the time her date comes to pick her up for reasons, very good ones I'm sure (“And I was here to, um…”). He seems to spend a signicant amount of time discussing Sydney's love life with the gang.

Eddie is now more open and vulnerable with Sydney, talking to her about his feelings for Jill and how hard it is to touch her during sparring lessons, and about how unconfortable he is with Angeline's unwanted advences. He sees her as an ally in that area:

“There’s a Halloween Dance?” Eddie dragged himself from his misery to give me a surprised look. “How do you not know? There are signs everywhere.” I stirred around my steamed vegetables. “They must not be anywhere I’ve been.” Eddie gestured with his fork to something behind me. [...] “How can you memorize entire books but miss something like that?” asked Angeline. “Because Sydney’s brain only records ‘useful’ information,” Eddie said with a smile. I didn’t deny it. “Don’t you think Eddie should go?” pushed Angeline. “He needs to watch out for Jill. And if he goes, we might as well go together.” Eddie shot me a desperate look, and I tried to find him a way out of this.

They already know each other better at this point, and what to expect. Also, this little passage just screams SIBLINGS to me:

“You’re going to this one, aren’t you?” asked Eddie. “With Brody?” “Brayden. And I don’t know. We haven’t even had our second date. I don’t want things to move too fast.” “Right,” Eddie said. “Because there’s no bigger sign of commitment than a Halloween dance.” I was about to get him back by suggesting maybe he and Angeline should go together after all when Jill and Micah joined us.

It really pains Sydney to see Eddie hurting, and she feels like his insistance in staying away from Jill and encouraging her relationship with Micah is masochistic. And she talks him up to Jill when she shows interest.

In the end, Eddie goes along with the plan to keep Sydney out of the loop when they raid the Warrior's compound. He has a whisper fight with Adrian where I assume he convinced him to let it go, and he's the one to put a tracking device in Sydney's purse. Sydney considered the whole thing a pretty big betrayal of all of them, her vampire friends and Alchemists alike.

When the raid goes down, Eddie can't get to Sydney, and she motions at him to go without her. According to Adrian, when Eddie came out without Sydney he was "babbling" about how she'd gone out some random door. He was obviously pretty worried about her:

“Sydney!” he exclaimed. He immediately released Angeline’s hand and hurried over to me, astonishing me with a hug. “Thank God you’re okay. I hated having to leave you there. That wasn’t part of the plan. I was supposed to have gotten you out with Sonya.” “Yeah, well, maybe next time, someone can fill me in on the plan,” I said pointedly. Eddie grimaced. “I’m sorry about that. I really am. We just…” “I know, I know. Didn’t think I’d go along with it, were afraid something would go wrong, etc., etc.” “I’m sorry.” I didn’t entirely forgive him, but I was too tired to push the matter much further. “Just tell me this,” I said, lowering my voice. “Were you just holding hands with Angeline?” He blushed, which seemed ludicrous after the fierceness I’d seen him pull off back at the compound.

Sydney still didn't fully forgive any of the Palm Springs gang for this, but it also drove a rift between her and the Alchemists, which helped do away with the conflict she felt about liking them.

On to The Indigo Spell, Eddie's the only person Sydney trusts with her car which is a high honor.

I took my car keys out of my bag and reluctantly handed them over to Eddie. He was the only one I trusted to drive my car, and I always let him borrow it when I left town, in case he needed to run errands for our group. “Here you go. I better get it back in one piece. Do not let Angeline near the driver’s seat.” He grinned. “Do I look suicidal? I probably won’t even use it. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport later?”

When Marcus gives sydney a black eye, she feels like Eddie might want to hunt down her assailant, which I feel goes a bit beyond the immediate protection he'd give just anyone who needed it. When Sydney starts going on super secret meetings with rebel alchemists she decides the Eddie is the man to call for protection:

I’d been a little hesitant to let Eddie in on Marcus. Eddie certainly wasn’t going to turn Marcus or me in to the Alchemists for sideline plotting. That being said, I also didn’t want Eddie to think the Alchemists were involved in nefarious schemes against the Moroi. That might very well be something Eddie would relay back to his own people, which could in turn cause all sorts of diplomatic problems. Even this hint of the Alchemists potentially being in contact with the Warriors was dangerous. I decided that having Eddie as protection was worth the risk of him hearing something he shouldn’t. He was my friend, and I trusted him.

When Eddie hears that there might be a connection between the Alchemists and the Warriors, and that the later might be after Jill, he trusts Sydney to find out what's going on and help him keep Jill safe, which is pretty much the most important thing in the world to him:

“It’s all circumstantial,” argued the scientist in me. “Sydney,” said Eddie. I turned to him and saw something in his eyes I’d never expected to see: pleading. He didn’t care about Alchemist conspiracies or Marcus’s Merry Men. What he cared about was Jill, and he’d heard something that made him think she was in danger. That was unacceptable in his world. He would do anything in his power to keep her safe, but even he knew stealing information from the Alchemists was out of his league. It was pretty much out of mine too, but he didn’t know that. He believed in me, and he was silently begging me to help.

So they both really trust each other at this point. It's Eddie's pleading and her own worry for Jill that convince Sydney to take the pretty big risk of stealing Alchemist files.

I had to stop myself from adding a bunch of instances of Eddie blushing that aren'tactually that relevant to their relationship, so I have to agree with Sydney that blushing Eddie is adorable:

Eddie still looked way too serious for this discussion. “Maybe Eddie would volunteer,” I suggested. “I bet guardian posture would be great on the catwalk.” He blushed, which even I had to admit was adorable.

Eddie talks pretty openly to Sydney about his relationship with Angeline throuhgout the book, and then when that implodes spectacularly he agrees to talk to Sydney about it. They meet at a cafe and when the scene starts Sydney claims they had been there for almost an hour. Eddie Castile spent AN HOUR talking about his feelings with Sydney Sage, I just love that. The serious, dedicated Guardian allowing himself to be vulnerable and to be conforted. Then we get this beautiful, beautiful little exchange:

“Thanks for the moral support,” Eddie told me. “Sometimes it feels like you really are a sister—” That was when my car exploded. Sort of.

Interrupted by an exploding car because I can't have nice things. During that conversation Sydney was feeling pretty terrible herself, and she can't talk about her fight with Adrian. But that makes her wish that at least Eddie could be happy even more.

At this point I consider them to absolutely be ACTUAL TWINS, but I'm gonna have to leave the second half of the series, where Sydney and Eddie prove their love for each other in the most painful way possible, for a part 2.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #416

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one to blame  /  don’t think of me when you go up in flames”

Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? Not close enough for us to actually go there for groceries, no. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? Well no, given Mark's been in a serious relationship for like six years, and I'd feel disloyal to my partner. I can just dream about it, ha ha. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? I tend to be drawn to people I'm more similar to. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? *shrug* If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? Tbh, odds are I'm making up an excuse. Would you like to meet an alien? That would depend on its motives. It might have wisdom to share, or it may be nefarious, in which case I don't wanna meet it obviously. If so, would you trust them enough to go back with them to their planet? That's a no no matter how it acts. Trust issues, my friend. And that's with humans. What do you think is at the end of space. It's kinda science that space is infinite... Do you like D&D or Magic: The Gathering the most? I've never played D&D because I know I would be way, way too awkward to actually do it. M:TG is fun, though. What is your favorite Disney movie? TLKKKKK. What’s your favorite book series? Wings of Fire tops the list right now, but Warriors will always have a very special place in my heart. What’s something you wish they’d build in your neighborhood? Idk. Do you usually keep ponytail holders around your wrist? No. I don't even wear my hair in a ponytail because it's too short. Sunny D or orange juice? Orange juice. I have to be in a very specific mood for Sunny D. Can you snap out of a bad mood fast? Nooooo, unless something drastically good happens. How can a person tell if you’re mad or annoyed? My face will probably give it away, mixed with me being short and snippy or more awkward than normal because I'm trying to not be a bother. What’s something you enjoy that’s outside your age level? Certain TV shows. When your friends come and hang out at your house, what do you get up to? The only friend I have that I hang out with once in a blue moon is Girt, and we'd usually play board games or watch TV. Do you think it’s ignorant for people to have unprotected sex when they’re not ready for a child? Yes. Like yes, I'm pro-choice so won't look down on someone getting an abortion, but I still think you should be willing to act to prevent things from getting to that point where that procedure is chosen. For it or against it, abortion is a serious decision and should be treated as such. What were your favourite things to do as a child? My favorite thing had to be video games, specifically Spyro, and I also adored Webkinz and Neopets on the computer. I also loved playing make-believe with my toys like every other kid. I loved watching Dad play video games, too. I've also been a drawing fiend since I was very little. If you were shopping with your best friend, and they picked an outfit that was completely unflattering, would you tell them? I honestly don't know if I would. Her being comfortable and happy in it is what matters, anyway. Do you prefer using air-con or having the windows down when you’re driving on a hot day? Team A/C for sure. I hate the feeling of wind just slapping the hell outta your face and making a nest out of your hair. Can you ever manage to finish three courses when you go out to eat at restaurants? No. What would you say your favourite farm animal is? Pigs! They are so incredibly misunderstood. They're very intelligent, CLEAN (I know, can you believe it?), silly, and happy animals that I just adore. Is your ex currently in a relationship and if yes, how do you feel about that? Idk if "the" ex is with anyone, and it's for the better I don't, probably. Which one of your friends should be a stand-up comedian? Girt. Is your mom a better driver or your dad? Oh yeah. Dad tailgates like a motherfucker. What's your least favorite genre of music? Either rap or country, idk. Do you like poems? I do. Do you enjoy drawing? I have a love-hate relationship with it. I LOVE when something comes out the way I wanted it to, but if it doesn't, I feel very disappointed in myself and bash it into my head that I could do better. Do you even have any drawing talent? So I'm told. Have you ever seen The Sound of Music? Yes, in elementary school's music class. Ever seen Beetlejuice? If so, did you enjoy it? Oh yes, that was one of Jason's favorites. I liked it. How do you deal with oppressive heat? Complain, sweat my ass off, do anything I can to cool off that doesn't involve taking clothes off. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember pretty much anything whatsoever. What about something they definitely can count on you for? An ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. How do you feel about your handwriting? I like it. Is there a store that bothers you immensely for some reason (people who shop there irritate you or the employees who work there are rude, etc.)? Uhhhh I don't think so. What’s something you complain about frequently? If I'm hot, or my legs hurting. If you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do? Ignore it. I'm not answering. What’s one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It's an anti-war pacifism novel, which is something I'm very much passionate about. Would you ever get one of those old school “mom” tattoos with the heart? No. I know with certainty I want a tribute to my mom when she passes, but definitely not that design. Are you a Giants fan? I don't care for sports, but the NYG always make me think of Jason's dad, who is like, obsessed with them. So I guess I feel a bit of warmness towards them just for memory's sake. Last time you went pumpkin picking? Never. Do you prefer eating corn straight off the cob or corn already taken off the cob? I think corn on the cob tastes better with all the butter and spices you can put on it, but I do enjoy off the cob too because it's just so much cleaner. Would you want your family to go on Wife Swap? Well, I live with my mom and she's divorced, so... I don't have to worry about this. How old is your current e-mail address? God, I've had it since I was a kid. Last time you conversed with someone in a language other than English? Not since taking a test for German in high school. Last video you favorited on YouTube? Oh my god, it was this video from my favorite reptile channel (Snake Discovery) of them taking their pet tegu to the park. She clearly had SO much fun. Now mind you I very rarely favorite things, so yeah, I adored the video. Do you like chocolate with coconut filling? Noooo, I'm not a coconut fan at all. What was the first thing you ate today? Mom made bacon, yuuuuum. Do you know how to play Mahjong? No. Mom loves it, though. Do you have any skirts longer than knee-length? I don't own any skirts. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone you weren’t dating? Just flirting. Ever had a promise ring? No. What about one of those “I’ll wait until marriage” rings (I think they’re called purity rings or something)? They're called abstinence rings, and yes, in HS. Funny how looking back I was definitely breaking that vow while I wore it lmao. What is the shortest time you’ve heard of people being together before getting married? My late grandma and her second husband got married SO fast. Like they were together for probably a couple months (maybe less?), then boom, the news came that they were engaged. Are any of your friends currently pregnant? Facebook friends, yes, which are mostly composed of old friends and acquaintances from school. One poor girl very recently got into a bad wreck, but thank goodness she and her unborn daughter are okay. Have you ever played golf? I loved playing putt-putt when I was younger, and then Jason and I once had a mini-golf date. It was really cute. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? It's been some years since I used to wax my eyebrows. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. A minor one, but still. Can you honestly say you love the last person you kissed? Yep. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yeah. Would you ever go on Fear Factor? Noooo. I would NEVER get past day #2 where they tend to do the disgusting shit, and I'm way too out of shape to do the wild stuff they do. What colour was the last mask you wore? Blue. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Oh yes, Sara has an absolutely beautiful voice. When was the last time you had a nightmare? I had two last night, actually. I have this habit of taking my APAP mask off in the middle of the night because it's a nuisance, and I never remember doing so. When I do that, I'm much more prone to have nightmares because the mask helps my sleep apnea, which causes my nightmares/terrors. Where do you see yourself in ten years? I do NOT want to imagine this. It's either going to be beautiful or a fucking catastrophe, of that I'm sure. Does your family have traditions? Just pretty ordinary holiday ones. Have you ever met anyone half-way famous? Tez is famous, as far as I'm concerned. :') I also have some musician friends trying to make it, but idk how far they've actually gotten in the industry. Is there a celebrity that you are related to? No, just ancestors. Would you call your last relationship a mistake? Definitely not. Would you ever take up a job in photography? Ugh... that's the fucking dream. But I'm massively losing hope. Do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back? When I was in school, it depended on whether it would serve as good study material or not. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? My old friend Jenna messaged me a few days back just to say she was thinking about me and wished me well, which I really appreciated. Of course I messaged her back wishing her the same and all. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? Don't believe so, no. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, I used to. She vanished. Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex? No. Don't want to. I want to be alone when I shower.

[astrxd]

Hey! I am not sure if you are taking requests but if you have time I would love to see a Hiccstrid Holiday cute romance thingy. :)

A/N: Happy holidays! This one isn’t as festive and holiday-y as a real Christmas fic should be... But it’s two days after Christmas, and I guess I can get away with it. If you haven’t read my holiday story from last year, I suggest you go ahead and get through that for some context! :-) Sorry, though -- this may be a little rough! It’s the first thing I’ve written since my hiatus, so I’m doubtful that I’m on top of my old game. That, and this is pretty much set up for the next “chapter.” But, please -- enjoy! xxx

Part One | Part Two | Part Three (the up-and-coming New Years’ special!)

Astrid adored Christmas. The lights, the decorations, getting people gifts… She loved peppermint and gingerbread and the smell of a fresh pine tree, not to mention snow and the music and heavy, knitted sweaters. Then there was spending time with family and friends and--

And Hiccup. Especially Hiccup, because their Friendsmas was a long-standing tradition that she had no intention of calling off in the near future. For years now, the two have made it a point to share the holiday in each other’s company -- that year was no exception, but it practically broke her heart to hear that Hiccup wasn’t exactly in tune with the mood of their usual celebration. It was a sour note in a classic Christmas carol.

But, of course Astrid was all too familiar with the strange feeling of “being older” that he was referencing. It was a subtle phenomenon at first: each year they got older, the quicker the holiday season rolled around, and the less excited they’d feel. Thanksgiving happens, then in the blink of an eye, it would be Christmas. Just an inevitable side effect of growing up, she assumed. The things that they loved would just… Stop feeling the same. 

It was like how back to school shopping as an elementary schooler was the best thing ever, but after each following year, it was less and less about 64 packs of crayons and cool backpacks (with wheels!) and more about an unholy amount of college-ruled composition notebooks. Yeah. Getting older sucked -- but on the bright side, they’ve been together. 

At the very least, they were together.

Throughout the last couple years of high school, Astrid managed to deny her disenchantment. She clung to the Christmas magic she so desperately wanted to believe in for both herself and for Hiccup because -- because, well, she was Astrid, and Astrid adored Christmas! But when Hiccup admitted that he’d been experiencing the same flicker and fade in his sense of Christmas spirit… It was like a wake up call. It draws her back to reality and out of her protective bubble, urging her to acknowledge the truth: they were getting older, so obviously, it was time to grow up.

Unsurprisingly, Astrid wanted to do no such thing. Not yet -- not when it was their last chance to share Christmas before everything…

Changed.

Or, in other words, before they were ripped apart by the tides and toil of life -- as dramatic and violent as that sounded. (She was Hiccup’s best friend, of course she’d pick up on hyperbole.)

Rather than throw in the towel, she coaxed Hiccup into doing all of the activities that they did when they were younger. Instead of just driving around to see Christmas lights and napping (as nice as both of those things were), they made cookies and a pillowfort. Instead of just watching movies, they did their own voice overs. Instead of letting each moment slip through their fingers… They recorded everything. And, to top off the tree, Hiccup was spending Christmas day with the Hoffersons while his dad was caught up at work. As much as she wished Stoick Haddock could be with his son, Astrid was more than elated to have Hiccup around. Her parents loved him, Stormfly loved him, her cousins loved him -- even her ever-overprotective uncles and doting aunts seemed to be delighted with his company. Penny also found an immediate friend in both Hiccup and Toothless, to the point where Astrid almost wondered if she should be worried about losing him to her little cousin.

...Of course, given the way he reciprocated her mistletoe kiss with starstruck gaping and a warm hug, she figured that she wouldn’t have to worry about him going anywhere anytime soon. And, on top of that, Astrid knew what she wanted (him), and she had a pretty good suspicion that she knew how Hiccup felt, too. The sole reason as to why she only acted now was because of the little seed of doubt in her head, and the insurmountable fear of losing him. She could deal with being wrong about his feelings, but losing him entirely? Astrid wouldn’t survive the carnage.

But, before the mistletoe... Before they even arrived, she had to remind Hiccup that she loved him (platonically), and that wouldn’t change if, in the off chance, something went awry with her family. Before the mistletoe, Astrid had watched Hiccup easily introduce himself to her aunts and uncles and a grandparent or two. The difference between the gregarious young man sheepishly talking about his plans for college with an undeniable gleam in his eye and the boy who panicked about whether or not her family would like him during the car ride to her house was stark, but the young man and the boy were, of course, the same person. Hiccup -- her Hiccup. He’d gone from her goofy, sarcastic dork to her diplomatic, goofy, sarcastic dork as soon as he’d stepped into the kitchen. He was nervous at first, yes, and he stumbled over his words and stammered and over-gesticulated, but it was unbearably charming and sweet and so very Hiccup of him. Astrid was proud to stand beside him as they caught up with her family, and more than once did they exchange nudges and laughs at their own inside jokes mid-conversation.

He was welcomed into the Hofferson family with open arms. When they asked about how long they’ve been “together”, however, she figured that the conversation was venturing into territory that even they themselves haven’t explored. That was a little awkward, but where Hiccup was at a loss for words, Astrid was there with her hand on his shoulder and a proud “forever.” He laughed a little, removed her hand from his shoulder to hold it instead, and parroted her “forever” with a “forever” of his own. She swears that it was the way he looked at her in that very moment that evoked the inexcusable urge to kiss him, so…

So, she did. She kissed him, and she loved every second of it -- it was the aftermath that made her nervous. After her cousins decided to ambush them with foam darts, Astrid had strategically removed herself from the situation to avoid talking about what their kiss -- kisses -- meant for their friendship. Maybe it was because she was scared of being turned down, maybe it was because she wanted him to initiate the conversation. Either way, Christmas Eve was peppered with pecks here and there, and in the heat of the moment, Astrid took a leap of faith in her feelings and kissed Hiccup properly. On the lips. With her fingers curled into his collar, because if she’d placed them anywhere else, Hiccup would surely feel them tremble, and it was bad enough that her heart felt like a hummingbird’s wings.

(As confident in herself as she was, she was still allowed to be nervous about how he’d respond, right?)

Thinking back to the way that he looked at her when she pulled away from their kiss kicks her nerves into high gear, because it was that look again. She’d spot him looking at her like “that” when he didn’t think she was paying attention, but his soft gaze and slight smile were somehow more enamoring than ever. It was the look he gave her when they went out for milkshakes at the local diner with the rest of the gang, and it was the look that he gave her when she successfully beat Snotlout at arm wrestling at said diner. He’d look at her like that when she celebrated after she won a round of MarioKart or mini golf, and he’s been looking at her like that since she pulled him off of his couch just the day before.

By all means, she should have been focusing on the plastic Nerf gun in her hands, but instead, she was touching her lips with two fingers and anxiously wondering how that kiss would change their friendship as she walked to the kitchen. Stormfly sat perched on her shoulder, balancing perfectly as she ruffled her feathers. “At least I’ll never have to worry about losing you because of a kiss, girl,” she sighs, feeling her bird bump her cheek into her temple.

It was… Still a scary thought, no matter how many times Stormfly tried to comfort her with a headbutt. Did she screw up by kissing him? The more she thinks about it, the more she can’t seem to remember if he actually kissed her back! She was almost sure that there was something there, and that they’ve just always had a “something there, because that’s all that Ruffnut and Heather (and Snotlout!) would moan at her whenever she expresses girlish concern over her stupid infatuation with her stupid best friend. Astrid knew that she liked him, and she thought that she knew that he liked her, too. And yet, after all of these years -- all of the hints, the gentle, subtle prodding… This. Now up was down and left was right and Astrid was missing Hiccup.

Literally. There was really only one way to find out what would become of the two, but before she could get back to Hiccup to finally get some answers, she first needed to rescue him from a bunch of little kids holding him hostage in the den upstairs. It was so like her cousins to use him against her -- they’d jumped him while she was wrestling for some ammunition, and before she knew it, he was a human jungle gym being tugged toward the stairs.

(“You’re the worst human shield ever,” he’d announced dryly as he was carted away, giving her a look that was a cross between ‘help me’ and ‘I’m an only child and this is kind of hilarious.’

“You’re not even trying to get away,” she scoffed and grinned at him, having chosen to not help his case by instead shooting him in the shoulder with her gun. Hiccup had given her an exasperated look, but she only shrugged, whipped out her phone, and collected footage of her very favorite Haddock being incarcerated by children with Nerf guns.)

Astrid holstered her orange and blue gun over the shoulder that Stormfly wasn’t sitting on as she walked purposefully into the kitchen. Her mother raised an eyebrow at her from her place at the counter, questioning the whereabouts of both her cousins and Hiccup. “You two have been inseparable since you’ve arrived,” she observed, “should I be concerned?” Astrid sighs at her perceptive mother, and starts transferring cookies from a tray to a plate with her free hand.

“Oh, it’s nothing, really,” she muses nonchalantly. “The kids just have my boyfriend tied up with tinsel upstairs and refuse to let me speak to him until I fulfill their ransom of one sheet of sugar cookies.”

Wait.

Shit.

Her mom blinks at her, and one of her aunts -- and her dad, who should have been fully invested in the pots on the stove instead of her conversation -- laughs. “Your what?”

“My best friend. You know, Hiccup?” She repeats, giving her dear mother a confused look. The older Hofferson looks at her for a moment, then exchanges glances with her husband.

“...Right, of course -- who else? You’d best get on rescuing him, then,” she laughs lightly and nods, handing Astrid the cookie platter. “I can only imagine how itchy that tinsel is.”

The best way to recover from a Freudian slip: pretend everyone else made the mistake, not her… Although something about the wry smiles in the kitchen tells her that she hadn’t managed to fool anyone. Astrid inwardly damns her pale skin for making it so stupidly obvious when she blushes.

(Honestly, she wishes he was her boyfriend already, but the day Astrid would set herself up for heartbreak was the day she hung up her favorite pair of yellow Converse.)

His brain was mush -- from the moment Astrid kissed him, to the moment he let her cousins sit him on a couch in a room upstairs, right up until they tied his wrists together with scratchy, silver tinsel from the stairway railing.

When Astrid said her family was intense, he should have known that she was talking about her cousins, too.

He just… Didn’t know how to react to having his best (human) friend and crush of so-long-that-it’s-actually-just-embarrassing-at-this-point kiss him. On the lips, on Christmas. He stood there like a fool, partially stooped over because of the way Astrid tugged him down, with his hands limp at his sides until he got enough of himself together to hold her close, all as his mind went blank of all thoughts except Astrid, with her soft lips against his and soft hair brushing against his cheek. After all of the strictly platonic teasing and kissing and encouragement from yesterday, Hiccup couldn’t imagine interpreting her latest mistletoe kiss as anything but exceedingly friendly.

That, and it was just easy to tell himself that there was no way Astrid would be remotely romantically interested in him in a million years. She was way too out of his league, as she always has been.

Except…

There was something there. Something in her eyes -- a, a spark, something gentle and warm and sweet when she pulled back to look up at him. And all he had done was hug her. Hug her! Because he was too big of a coward to do anything else, much less finally tell her how much he cared about her… As more than friends. Ugh, when Fish hears about his latest struggle to talk about his feelings, he was going to combust with second hand embarrassment and first hand frustration -- Hiccup was sure of it. And he couldn’t even vent to Toothless about how much of a moron he was because her cousins were reloading their guns and petting his aforementioned cat as they waited for Astrid to show up with cookies.

Hiccup couldn’t believe he was being held ransom for some cookies. He thought he’d at least be worth some cookies and milk. Maybe even some candy canes? At the very least, he was able to find comfort in knowing that Astrid was reliable, dependable, trustworthy, intelligent, pretty, resourceful, everything he could ever want in a person, a friend, a girl--

Hiccup stops himself there. Christmas miracles existed, but it’d take ten of them to get Astrid Hofferson to ever see him as anything more than a friend.

At least, that’s what he thought.

Astrid rapped her knuckles on the door three times, only to be greeted by Penny holding it open just a crack of the way. The silence coming from the rest of the room would have been eerie, if not for the fact that it was prefaced by loud laughter, chattering, and ‘quiet, Astrid’s here!’

“Password?” She says, obviously trying to sound ominous, but the effect is ruined by her impish grin. Astrid rolls her eyes and sighs, but how could she deliberately put a damper on her cousins’ fun? Their energy and antics were a testament to how Christmas was supposed to be enjoyable. Even if their idea of “fun” included kidnapping her friend and his cat and demanding that Astrid abuses her power to get them cookies.

“Hm…” She pretends to mull it over. “Give me back Hiccup or else I’ll just give these all to Stormfly?”

“Birds can’t have cookies,” the little girl says, wrinkling her nose.

There’s a twinkle in her eye and a challenge in her smile. Stormfly chirps, too. “Is that a bet?”

The exchange went smoothly. She handed over the cookies, and Hiccup was welcome to walk free.

...Well, mostly free, because she was right about the tinsel and it had been tied just a little too tightly.

“I can’t believe you let a group of elementary schoolers take you hostage,” Astrid snorted. Hiccup was seated on the edge of her bed while she rifled through her desk drawers for a pair of scissors. Toothless pawed at the silver plastic, only to become more interested in Stormfly’s trilling once Astrid sat down, too. “And I also can’t believe you let them cuff you in tinsel.”

“In my defense, what else could I have done?” Hiccup laughs. “They loved it. It was like a cop movie, but with little kids and Nerf guns. You were the big hero, I was the damsel in distress, they were this -- this weird... cookie-obsessed mafia, I guess.” When she glances up at him, he almost looks -- well, wistful. She can see why, just by observing the gleam in his eyes; he’s remembering being as young as they were, and she can tell. It’s… Touching. And a little shocking, because his eyes are impossibly green in the dim yellow glow that her fairy lights cast unto them.

Silently, and with the faintest of smiles on her face, Astrid carefully moves his sleeves back; she can feel him go still as she holds his hands with one of her own and uses the other to push said sleeves up. In the midst of the sudden quiet between them, the boisterous laughter of adults and children alike resonate through the peppermint-scented air. His hands were always warmer than hers were, and her cheeks seem to flush at just that thought. She slides one blade of the scissor between his wrists and snips him free, and with a happy sigh of relief, he starts to rub at his skin. “Why, thank you, my knight in knitted wool. Calvin is surprisingly good with knots.”

“Thanks to Boy Scouts, probably,” she submits, leaning over to set the scissors on her night stand and discard the clipped tinsel into a wastebasket. Everything was going fine and dandy and she was happy to just be sitting beside Hiccup, and then--

“--Boy,” Stormfly starts, cocking her head at the two teenagers. “Boyfriend?”

Astrid almost chokes on air. Gods above, have mercy on her soul, because it just left her body.

Stormfly goes and does--does that. She goes and drops the b-word, just because Astrid had accidentally used it earlier, and she’s almost certain that every inch of her skin has erupted with goosebumps. Birds were much smarter than people gave them credit for, and the way that Stormfly started to try playing matchmaker? That was more than enough evidence for Astrid. Needless to say, the blonde feels enough embarrassment to last her lifetimes, and Hiccup’s bemused (and amused) expression doesn’t do anything to ease her nerves. She opens her mouth to say something, anything to diffuse the situation and extinguish the confidence-crushing curiosity in his eyes, but her voice is missing.  

“Astrid,” Hiccup starts. His brows start to furrow, but his lips also start to curl into a small smile. It’s a little sheepish, but… Definitely a little smug. At least, that’s what she’s assuming, because she ended up with her eyes shut and her fingers on her temples the moment he said her name. “Why did Stormfly just say--”

“Boyfriend. Best friend,” Stormfly chirps, “Hiccup!”

The first time Stormfly said boyfriend, she was startled and her heart started pounding. But the second time? The second time, her chest starts to hurt and her stomach twists. A familiar weight settles on one of her shoulders, and though she shouldn’t have been startled, she jumps a little. Warmth seeps through her sweater to her skin. “Astrid--”

She swallows the lump in her throat. She knew how she felt -- she could tell him. And she wanted to, but… Stupid teenage girl things? An inconsolable fear of being wrong and somehow screwing over one of her favorite friendships ever? Both? “My extended family -- Stormfly included, apparently -- suspects that we’re an item. And I…” she manages, reaching up to touch the hand resting on her shoulder. ‘And I wish they were right,’ she mentally adds on. When she looks up, their eyes meet, and Astrid...

Astrid doesn’t have enough will to look away. Not when he looks a touch concerned with his lips pursed and his brow knitted, and definitely not when he turns his wrist just enough so that he’s holding her hand instead of her shoulder. His fingers are long and calloused and seem to fit perfectly between her own, and the way he issues a gentle squeeze to her hand somehow makes her heart squeeze, too. Idly, Hiccup skates his thumb over the back of her hand and Astrid shifts on the bed so that she’s facing him a little better.

She could tell him, right here -- right now. End the seesaw of emotions, finally get an answer: did he like her, too, or not? The wondering would end, and they’d stop wasting all this time. It was tempting, yet mortifying.

“And you...?” Hiccup prompts, but it’s a distant rumble in her ears. Astrid had shut her eyes for a second to gather her thoughts. When she opens them again, she looks at him -- really, really looks at him. It’s the first time after their kiss that her head actually feels clear and her shoulders sag with renewed calm.

Unassuming, thoughtful, sarcastic, witty, clueless, oblivious Hiccup. Somehow, even after all this time of coming to terms with her heart, he’s managed to get her to short circuit with just a kiss, but when she thinks about it… It was more than the kiss. It was his smile and his laugh and his automatic agreement to partake in all of her holiday hoo-hah; it was the way he clicked unbelievably well with her cousins and earned the favor of her other relatives without a hitch. Surely, Astrid had faith in her best friend to be able to handle Christmas with the Hoffersons, but as always, Hiccup exceeded every one of her expectations.

It made her heart flutter. She cared so much about him, she was so happy to have him with her, she just--

“I love you,” she blurts. Too quickly to be casual. Too frantic to be platonic. She tries to gather her composure. “And I’m really, really tired of waiting for you to give me some sort of sign that you do, too, Hicc.”

...So much for a clear head. At the end of the day, no matter what she thought to be true, reality would find a way to prove her wrong -- she’d just somehow forgotten.

They sit there for a few moments. Long, heavy, quiet moments.

The words bubble past her lips, and then they’re gone. Hanging, suspended in the air, just… Floating, then sagging, then sinking. Then her mother’s voice rings out, glorious timing and all, beckoning them and the kids downstairs for dinner. Astrid still looks like a deer caught in a set of headlights and she knows it, because not only did she definitely not platonically admit her feelings for her best friend and long-time crush, but now she was being given yet another opportunity to temporarily escape the mess that she made.

She could stay… Or she could go. She could wait for the answer she’s wanted for so long, or she could avoid it.

Again.

Except running away was not Astrid’s thing. She was not one to back down from confrontation -- challenges were accepted at any cost, bets were completed to any degree, competitions were had at every turn. But this? This? A slurry of feelings and uncertainties and the future -- their future? It’s… Terrifying. Genuinely terrifying, and Astrid prided herself as practically fearless.

Yet, speaking of fears, her fears of what he would say had been enough to incapacitate her, but the silence that follows her declaration is what does her in, for Hiccup’s silence was much louder than any words he could have possibly managed. He stares at her, lips parted slightly, eyes wide and shoulders stiff--

...Astrid smiles weakly when she realizes how unfair it was to have basically demanded an answer from him -- an answer she’s now almost certain is negative. She lowers her gaze and squeezes his hand one more time, before lifting it to her face and sweeping some hair behind her ears. This was wrong -- this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. “We should go,” she says, starting to get up. “They’ll definitely start dinner without us if we don’t--”

Then, Hiccup grabs her hand.

“Astrid, I...” He stands up after her, and she, yet again, notices just how tall he’s gotten. How green his eyes are. How his lips and his eyebrows look when they’re pursed and furrowed into a crinkled line, respectively. There’s her favorite freckle on his cheekbone, the silver cat scratch scar on his chin, a pronounced line defining his jaw… In a matter of seconds, Astrid has examined every single one of his features and further committed them to memory in hyper detail, but it’s not enough -- she wished that she could capture and save a moment the way that she saved his appearance.

He holds her hand, tight and unrelenting, and opens his mouth to speak. She hangs on by a thread, anticipating his words with a budding sense of hope--

“Astrid! Hiccup!” Penny hollers, and she can hear the little girl skipping down the hall. Astrid and Hiccup pull away from each other as if he were fire and she was ice, and just in time, too -- her cousin pops her head through the door, looking onto them with a curious smile. “Can we sit together? Please?”

Astrid almost lets go of his hand, but Hiccup is the one to let go first. There’s something symbolic in the interaction, but she doesn’t have the time to properly consider it because his phone was ringing and throwing her all off. Astrid watches him expectantly, curiously, and Penny shuffles in to latch onto Astrid’s side, obviously perplexed by the way Hiccup looks vaguely alarmed when he glances up from his phone.

“It’s…” he starts, evidently hesitant to answer it, and “it’s” is all he has to say to inform Astrid of the caller’s identity. She almost -- almost -- can’t believe that she has to urge him to accept the call. She gives him silence and an exasperated look, and he seems to get the message.

“Hey, dad. Wait, wait -- where are you?”

Stoick’s car had given out on the side of a highway a short distance from town. The winds were picking up and flurries of white were beginning to fall from the sky, and with a busted engine, there was little he could do to make any ground in the snow. Apologetically, he asked Hiccup to pick him up, and a new sense of urgency settles in his chest.

He quickly filled Astrid in. She extended her welcome to his dad, suggesting that he came over as well, seeing as they’d have more than enough food to go around and it was a little late to try and put together a full dinner. Hiccup reminded her that there were only two of them, said he’d hate to impose, that he didn’t want to keep everybody downstairs waiting any longer than necessary.

Part of him felt like he was just trying to evade Astrid’s statement, which was, quite frankly, stupid and ridiculous because hearing her say that was literally a dream come true. Astrid Hofferson? In love with him? The more the thinks about it, the more surreal it feels. It’s like he was dreaming. Or Ashton Kutcher was hardcore messing with him. Plus, she was just trying to be a friend.

Emphasis on friend.

Time. Time! He just -- he needed time, to think, to get to his dad. To -- to figure out his thoughts, what he would say to her and how he would apologize for freaking out and completely forgetting the English language as soon as she said that she loved him.Fuck, she loved him, and he had to leave. Knowing his luck, he should have anticipated something like this. Still, in spite of his revelation, Hiccup ends up leaving just before dinner to rescue his father from an oncoming snowstorm and holiday traffic. The Hoffersons only agree to discharge him with more than enough food for just he and his father packed away in stacks of plastic tupperware. Penny makes him promise to play with her again, and Astrid… Astrid walks him to the door, Stormfly on her shoulder.

...What with the urgency of his predicament, he rushes outside without giving her a proper response, let alone goodbye.

At least, he almost does.

His arms are full of tupperware and Toothless stands at the edge of the porch, but Hiccup hurries back to her doorstep when he realizes that he hadn’t acknowledged what she told him -- at all. With all of the packed up food in his hands, it’s difficult to get close to her, but he manages to press a grateful peck to her lips. It’s swift and chaste and done with a furious blush, but… It’s enough. For now.

“Merry Christmas,” he mumbles, bumping his forehead to hers as soon as he pulls away, because if he didn’t go soon, he’d be even less inclined to leave and Astrid would surely sling him a punch in the shoulder for his hesitation, and the latter of which could definitely wait until he had the time to respond with a proper sarcastic remark. “ I’ll make this up to you, I promise. I--”

The blonde is left standing at the door, her arms wrapped around herself and a faint smile on her face. When she looks up, there’s not a leaf or berry of mistletoe to be found.

“I love you,” Stormfly sings, nudging her cheek into her owner’s.

And this time, it wasn’t Astrid that she was parroting. She was just omitting the “too.”