#and I can imagine agatha getting pregnant JUST when she and rio are going to have sex and rio is in her real form

[aperfectlylesbian]

What if when Nicky was conceived, Rio was in her real form?

[cassiebones]

I was talking to somebody about how Agatha came about having Nicholas. His last name is Scratch, so maybe he did have a father who was initially involved in his life, but I'm pretty sure Agatha and Rio were in an established relationship by the time he came into their lives. Maybe they had a deal with a gay male couple and used a "donation" in exchange of the name being passed down. Maybe Agatha straight up stole a baby idk.

But I like the thought of Rio coming home one day, carrying an infant in her arms, a flabbergasted look on her face. Agatha asks (only somewhat jokingly) if she brought home dinner. She peers down at this fresh-out-the-oven infant in her wife's arms. The kid is kinda cute.

Rio tells her that there was a teenage girl, a witch, who'd gotten pregnant. She told nobody about it, ashamed of herself, and then went out in the middle of the woods to give birth, where nobody could see her, hoping to put it all behind her, including the baby.

Agatha's heart aches at that, looking down at the abandoned newborn. She asks if she belonged to a coven, but Rio shrugs and says, "not anymore. She's dead. Died from hard labor. The fact that this little one survived is a miracle." She looks down at the baby and he lets out a little noise, content in her arms.

"Did you reap her?" Agatha asks, still looking at this child. His eyes are half-lidded, but she can see some murky blue. He's a handsome little guy.

Rio nods. "She was pretty talkative, too," she says. "Begging forgiveness for her sins, for me to take her son, for me to bring him somewhere safe."

"And you brought him here?" Agatha snorts, as if it's ridiculous.

"I couldn't imagine a safer place," Rio responds, honestly. "I mean, I could just have left him out there to die in the woods, but I hate ferrying young souls; they have no good stories to tell."

Agatha snorts at that. "Well how are we going to keep him alive?" She asks, taking him gently from Rio's arms and cradling him against her chest. "What do babies even eat?"

"Milk," Rio says, eyeing Agatha's chest.

"These are empty," Agatha says, turning away. "And they shall stay that way. Go get him some goat's milk or something. And STOP looking at me like that."

Rio's gaze is hungry, her tongue slipping out to wet her lips.

"Cariña," Agatha says, using the pet name sure to get Rio's attention. It is, after all, one of, like, twenty spanish words she's been taught. The others are not appropriate in this situation. "Go get the baby something to eat, lest you WILL be ferrying him into the next life before long."

Rio rolls her eyes and disappears with a snap. She comes back a few moments later with a bottle full of milk. Agatha is impressed.

"That was quick."

"Our neighbors have a newborn who won't breastfeed. We should have a steady supply for a while."

"Mamí is a thief, isn't she, Nicky?"

Rio's face flushes. "Mamí?" She asks. "Nicky?"

Agatha flushes next. "Oh, right. Sorry. I should have asked. We never spoke of..." She looks down at the baby, who is suckling greedily at the bottle of milk. "We never discussed children, but I...well, as long as we have him." She shrugs, flushing more as Rio studies her. Then a smile spreads over Rio's face.

"Okay," she says, "I'm Mamí. Are you...Mama?"

Agatha shrugs. "We'll see how I do. I didn't exactly have the best role model when it came to mothering."

"You will be ten times the mother Evanora ever was," Rio huffs, spitting on her mother-in-law's name.

"Ten times zero is still zero," Agatha retorts.

"Math?!?" Rio gasps, exaggeratedly, "Methinks you a witch, madam!"

Agatha cackles as she brings their son to the couch, sitting carefully so as not to jostle his meal and cause him to choke.

"My wife is even witchier than I," she says, smiling up at Rio as she follows. Rio sits next to her and puts her arm around Agatha's shoulders and looks down at the baby in her arms.

"Why Nicky?" Rio asks after a long moment of just staring at this little being.

"After my father, Nicholas," Agatha explains. "If he even existed at all."

Rio furrows her brow at that and Agatha shrugs. "Mother said he died before I was born. She said it was because he was weak. I think he just couldn't stand living with her, anymore. She refused to give me his last name, too, so I became another Harkness. How fortunate for me."

"Very," Rio snorts. "You never spoke of your father."

"You never asked, Agatha points out, then sighs. "As far as I know, he never even existed. Mother didn't speak of him until I was nearly grown. Always about how my father would be so ashamed of me, how he would have killed me eons ago, about how I was weak, just like him." She gave Rio a sad smile. "At that point, I knew I couldn't trust her word, so I imagined my father as a sweet, romantic man. One who courted my mother with flowers and handmade jewelry. He was strong, physically, bringing her wood for the fire and good cuts of meat to keep her nourished. Why he loved my crone of a mother, I'll never understand, but I hope that he loved me. Even though we never met."

"I could find out for you," Rio offered. "Shouldn't take long."

Agatha smiled lovingly at her and leaned in to kiss her lips, sweetly, before pulling back.

"Some things," she says, "are just better left to the imagination. You know?"

Rio nods. "Okay," she says, quietly, clearing her throat. "So how about his last name then? Harkness or Vidal? Both? Vidarkness?" She waggles her eyebrows. "Sounds very...witchy."

Agatha laughs, a deep gutteral sound, but not meanly. She reaches for Rio's hand and brings it to her lips, kissing her fingers.

"Scratch," she says, "like my father. Nicholas Scratch."

"Good, strong name," Rio agrees, leaning forward to press her forehead against Agatha's. "Nicholas Scratch. Nicky." She turns her gaze to their son, who has let go of the bottle and is dozing in Agatha's arms now. "Welcome." She runs a finger down his downy cheek.

[strangenerdwagongarden]

The really funny part is the chaos of the potential misunderstandings and miscommunication that would then ensue especially if wanda didn't intend to keep things secret so she doesnt realize that her team doesnt know and if she doesnt really get the chance to explain everything all at once. Like Im imagining the Avengers don't even know that wanda isn't actually staying at the avengers compound right because they all have their own places and are off doing their own thing. Clint's back on the farm with his wife and kids and is semi retired natasha is splitting her time between her own apartment or wherever and spending time with melina, alexi, and yelana plus dealing with all the former black widows and stamping out any remnants of the red room tony is running si and spending time with pepper, Morgan, and Peter etc... none of them really use the compound as anything more than a headquarters for missions and a place to hang out or crash when a mission runs long and they don't realize that wanda isn't actually staying there either not until they're needing a place to lay low and wanda without thinking just goes why don't we go back to my house and since I ship agatha/rio/wanda we have wanda just casually mention that "it might be a bit crowded with my wives and kids home but they won't mind and nobody will look for us there" and everybody else is confused because what is she talking about ? what does she mean her kids?! What does she mean wives?!?! Just them being totally confused because when did wanda have kids? and why didn't she mention them? but also... when did she get married? and if she hasn't come out yet, they're just like, since when was she gay? and did she just say wives?! and this is before they even get to Westview and meet everybody so wanda is realizing just how little they know and decides to just take them home with her and give them the rundown when they get there except the avengers don't know about nicky or how the twins came to be and about all the rapid ageing and reincarnating into other bodies and all that so after the avengers calm down a bit they start figuring okay so wanda started seeing somebody or maybe had a one night stand in the last few years while they weren't around and didn't tell them she got pregnant and had a baby till now so they are expecting little kids if not toddlers until they get to Westview and are met with two teenagers which considering wanda is in her late 20's-mid 30's I think and the twins look like they're in their late teens which has them all doing the math in their heads trying to calculate how old wanda would've been when she had them. Just the thought of wanda happily introducing her kids to her friends as they are all mentaly spiraling into protective older sibling mode thinking that wanda was a teen parent which only gets worse when they recal that wanda was with hydra meanwhile wanda is oblivious and is just glad that the people she loves are all meeting each other. And imagine if the kaplans show up before wanda can explain but she still introduces them as Billy's other parents so now the avengers are looking at Jeff assuming he's wandas ex and the twins bio dad (which I guess is technically true for Billy seeing as the body is still Williams) and are fully ready to fight him thinking that he abandoned a teenage wanda while she was pregnant with the twins. I also think it would be hilarious if the Avengers meet agatha and rio and find out that rio is Lady Death and wanda gets her own. "What can I say? I like the bad boys" moment.

Or, Alternatively, wanda is purposefully hiding the kids and everybody else from the Avengers but is failing. Badly.

Like just imagine the team is in a meeting discussing an upcoming mission or something and wandas phone is going off and it's either agatha or rio or one of the kids calling because they miss her and want to know when she coming home or maybe there's some magic based emergency back home and they need help or maybe it's one of the kids schools calling because one of the kids is sick and needs to be picked up just something like that and wanda doesnt want the others to hear so she tries to casually excuse herself but she's not a very good liar so now everybody is suspicious that she's hiding something.

Or the avengers start noticing that she's skipping hanging out with them a lot lately like tony invites the rest of the team out to eat or to watch a movie or whatever but wanda has to be back in jersey because it's her week with Billy and she needs to pick him up from the kaplans so she's just all like "oh I can't I have plans" and just leaves so now the rest of the team is just like what the heck is that about?

And this just keeps going on little moments like these adding up making the rest of the team aware she's keeping a secret but they don't know what it is until something happens where wanda gets caught like maybe nicky shows up because he missed wanda or maybe Billy gets sick or hurt and Rebecca shows up with him while panicking because she isn't sure what to do like if it's something she can get away with taking him to a normal hospital for or not or the avengers are really in a bind and wanda has to call in agatha or rio to help or maybe something happens where the twins end up exposing their powers so the avengers are tasked with finding them or there's some big battle where the twins show up to help and the avengers are confused as too who these random teenagers are or why wanda is being so protective and tearing into them about putting themselves in danger until one of them ends up accidentally calling wanda mom in earshot of the team

So I'm a big fan of the mcu I fell a bit behind and have been trying to get caught up on the new shows and movies recently I just binge watched wandavision and agatha all along and I came up with a funny au where the avengers are successful in defeating Thanos and everybody lives nobody dies so like Steve doesn't stay back to be with Peggy and him tony and nat and all the rest of the avengers are still kicking around and it's like all the typical the avengers are a found family fics except the events of wandavision and aaa still happen but wanda doesnt die in mom and lilia alice and mrs davis are still alive and now wanda is pulling a Clint hiding her secret family from the rest of the team. Like I'm picturing it's a few months to a few years after aaa and wanda is back in Westview trying to make amends with everybody she's got Tommy back and she basicly has split custody of Billy with the Kaplans she's learning magic from agatha and the rest of the coven and her and Billy are even able to resurrect nicky like everything's good the world's at peace and the avengers are still doing minor missions here and there but for the most part they are each happy doing their own thing until just like in aou the team needs to hide from the latest big bad and wanda decides to take them back to Westview and the rest of the avengers are just shocked to meet the twins and everybody else