#and I appreicate that out of all the people I could have met that I got to meet you and you've made a significant impact on my life

[quigonswife8]

Memories: Namor x reader

While you sit with K’uk’ulkan, he looks at the mural, reminiscing of years gone by, of the memories he’s reminded of.

Thank ya'll for all the love on my namor works, it means a lot:)

Also I used the gif above cause even though he’s not painting in this, it still does talk about the mural. Btw I love the mural, he’s so talented

gif creds: @itaintenough

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"You're cold.". Namor points out as he notes how much you're shivering.

"I-i’m sorry K’uk’ulkan but i'm still not used to this environment."

You rub your arms to try and regain warmth but this attempt turns out feeble.

As a 'surface dweller' you never do get used to visiting K’uk’ulkan’s kingdom. He'd offered you to live there but when he'd seen how much your world meant to you he had agreed to date 'long distance.'

Though with every visit [which is practically everyday] you never get used to the difference of temperature. The water isn't even cold, it's the temperate of the room.

"You don't need to apologise my love."

He stands up and turns, "...I will get you something warm."

Slipping away for a moment to grab the softest blanket. He always keeps it aside for you. He drapes it around your shoulders, sitting back down next to you.

"Better...?"

You glance at him,

"Much better."

He nods, before looking away from you to admire the mural he’d just added onto.

After coming to an agreement with Wakanda everything returned to normal. K’uk’ulkan had gotten started on adding to the mural: a panther fighting someone-Him. and the panther being the queen.

He is a very talented artist. You still wear the bracelet he had hand-made for you years ago, as a symbol of his love. It's like he's with you whenever you're apart.

"It's beautiful my love."

Pulling the blanket more over your shoulders, while scootching closer to K’uk’ulkan.

"Thank you."

He brings a hand up to rest on his knee, his eyes still on the mural. It brings him to think-reminisce of years gone.

The times when things seemed to be just. When he had offered his heart to you and you'd done the same. When all he thought about was ruling his kingdom with you beside him.

When they didn't have to deal with the people trying to mine the vibranium, threatening his people. Looking at this mural reminds him of peace because that's what it is. A peace decided on between his people and the Wakandan's. Something that he has wanted for so long.

That is all he has wanted, and this mural is a representation of that. To some it may not be obvious but to those who know who understand it is obvious.

You look at K’uk’ulkan, wondering what's going on in his mind. The look on his face means he's deep in thought which he often falls into when he has these moments of peace. Not wanting to ruin his peace you simply copy what he's doing by staring at the mural.

It has always fascinated you. When he had brought you to Talokan for the first time it was the mural that caught your eye first. Though back then it didn't include the black panther. Namor had noticed your interest in the mural and began to explain what it had meant.

It became that more fascinating when you'd found out he'd painted this mural himself. The love he held shows in the mural, as well as his skills with a paintbrush.

K’uk’ulkan stands in front of the mural, his hands together behind his back.

"You're very skilled..."

You run your hand along the different lines, different shapes on the wall. "...this is amazing."

It's your first time in K’uk’ulkan’s kingdom. You'd heard stories of a 'feathered serpeant god' but never thought you would ever meet let alone date him. Now as you stand in one of the many rooms in his kingdom it doesn't seem real because you have only dreamt of visiting a place like this.

"Thank you."

He can't help but smile slightly seeing you enjoying his culture, appreicating this mural.

It's nice to know all surface dwellers are not bad which is more often than not. He knew there was something about you the moment you met, he could just tell. That you didn't cower in fear or try and hurt him, you had looked at him with such kindness that he hasn't experienced in so long.

"I'm happy you like it."

"(y/n)?"

"Hmm?" flicking your eyes back to K’uk’ulkanyou catch how he looks at you. A softness in his eyes, a slight smile on his lips. This alone makes you smile.

"Yeah?"

The light reflects in your eyes, making them look that more beautiful. It's captivating- you captivate him.

"I..."

The door suddenly opens, and Namora walks in. She looks your way, and then back to her king.

in her language she says: "can I talk to you, it's important."

K’uk’ulkan nods in reply, and so she leaves to wait outside for him. When his cousin is gone he turns back to you.

"I have to go my love.."

"It's okay..." you lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek. "...i'll see you when you get back."

He adjusts the blanket on you more noticing it had fallen off your shoulders. Lingering with his touch he presses a kiss to your head and then stands.

When he does leave you watch him, pulling your eyes after lingering with your look, and they soon fall back on the mural.

[yioh]

2020 follow forever :^)

hello it is, but i, ur local frog, yura, i really realllllllllyyyyyyyyyyy wanted to make some kind of post to appreciate everyone on here because , fr, you guys have been such a large part of my life recently and i can not thank you enough... every single person i have interacted with on here has been so wonderful and it’s been such a pleasure to talk with you guys<3

also extremely extremely extremely sorry if i forget anyone, i really really do love every single person i interact with!! this is my first time doing something like this also this is probably filled with typos but im too impatient and lazy to read what i wrote, im so sorry if its weird or something aaaaaaaaaaaa jhdsgjhd

without further ado lets goooooo losers😎

@honeyedmilks sof u are one of the softest people i know, we didn’t get to talk that much this year but i love ur presence in general and it makes me :D when u pop up on my dash/notes hehe, i can’t express just how much i adore ur writing, the vibes and settings and the way u write in general is so my thing and !!!!!!!! <3 

@asianmelodrama faizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa u are mine and a lot of other people’s sunshine on this hellsite !!!! ur blog is so feel good and pretty and relaxing and i love all ur thoughts and ur gifs are soooooooooo pretty and ur so cool !!!!!!!! thank u for being so kind and creative and wonderful and for creating a place so safe and lovely i love u i love uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

@muscosus robin robin robin robin ILUSM !!!!!!! ur so fun to talk to and i find it so amusing that we met each other via druck but then consequently found all our interests colliding and we were literally *shook pikachu* kdhigjdghkjf also whenever u tag me in whale stuff it warms my heart so much and i treasure our friendship so so much !!!

@lesbiangoths OLIVIA why are u so adorable :( everytime u send me an ask im :) ur so creative and talented and ur crocheting stuff looks so COOL !!!!! also ur vibe is just immaculate in general and talking with u is so easy, never change ilu bro

@illiterateopossum ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur DEFINATELY one of the people on here that are MOST special to me, all our conversations are so freaking fun and man, u just get me .... and watching u get into all the dramas and anime i reccomend ??? it makes my heart doki doki hiagsjhjh thank u for always looking out for me and sending me the most loveliest messages, im really really bad with words and i am SHITE with keeping up with messaging but i seriously treasure our friendship so so much, i only hope for good things to happen to you next year and all the years after that, you’re such a kind wonderful person and !!!!!!!!!!!! i love u sm :(

@beesnutz KJDFKHIJFHKD GUSTE i wanna be emotional this one time and tell u that ur seriously such a fun person and the way my brain goes on overdrive from creativity when i talk to you is . insane. i want to bonk ur head with as much cereal as i can, never forget that you will always be the dumb sidekick to me, the superior villain and i WILL lead the way to world domination one day. sometimes i feel like u aren’t even real, you could be an anime character and i wouldn’t even bat an eyelash . ilu <3

@rosa-leche kana kana KANA :^) how are u so ???? sweet ???? adorable ???? wonderful ????? i already had so much fun interacting with you, all ur thoughts and messages are always so sweet and u make me smile SO much, and after the secret santa i feel like we have so much in common !!!!!!!!! do tell me if u ever watch bloom into you hehe, keep being the angel u are, ilusm !

@petekaos RAHUL !!!!!!!!!!!!! meeting u this summer feels like so long ago somehow, you sir!!! are one TALENTED person . it really really amazes me with how much passion you get into things and how much love and adoration you put into the things you create, its so so special .... anytime i see u vibing on my dash it fills me with so much joy, keep doing u bro !!!!

@toptaps zeeeeeeeeeeey you are so lovely :) you’re so gentle and soft and i adore talking with u about nanamin, also u are so cool and i was rly rly happy when u followed me lol, lowkey i admired u from afar jdhjkhdijd i love uuuuuuu

@fushiguroo MY LIL OREO CUTIE PATOOTIE oFC i still remember the first ask u sent me, i was so taken aback and honoured :( and the more and more i talked with you and saw you on my dash i was so happy, you have such good taste and you’re so so cute, take care of urself and stay the precious bean u are ok? 

@morksuns sumaya sumaya sumayaaaaaaaaaaaa everytime you interact with me im :D i love all our little convos and ur vibe in general is so peaceful and relaxing, im glad i got to meet you:’) here’s to another year and many more after that, that are filled with only good dramas !!!

@gayvlad NICO (nico niiiiiiiiiiiiii ) YOU DESERVE THE W O R L D. i dont know why but as soon as i had like one convo with u that one time i thought u were such a chill cool person :( im so happy that i get to be friends with you, all ur gifs are so pretty !!!!!!!! ur such a kind person and ur blog is such a warm nice place to be. :) 

@cupidhashorns   peach ........... PEACH !!!!!!!!!! you might be one of the nicest people in the WORLD , whenever u like my posts, regardless of whether u know what im on about lmao, i feel so seen... its just so nice to know that Someone i listening to the shit you throw into the void on this site lmao, i adore all ur asks and i truly truly appreicate all your messages so much. thank you for finding my blog interesting at all man, i cant tell you enough how happy you make me :)

@guihan arloooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MY CAT FRIEND . THE AMOUNT OF SEROTONIN YOU HAVE GIVEN ME IS IMMEASURABLE your cats ................... are so cute .............. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so glad i got into tsomd and got to meet you , whenever u tag me in things im !!!!!!!!! also im defo gonna read  twwtadsl sometime ksdjkdhjksd you make it sound so good aaaaaaaaaaaaa

@otterplush rey many people have probably already told you this but you are someone so ...... so spectacular and special and incredible and amazing ............  so much of your words has given me SO MUCH comfort in the short time i had known you, seriously. i seem to always stumble on your blog whenever im most hurt and your words have really had an impact on me in the best way possible and i love u so so so so much. i only wish for good things to happen for you and i want to be there for you in a way you are for everyone else !!! you are so warm and kind an generous, everything about your vibe feels so soft... also i always wanna rb everything you rb ndjbshs ur blog is so pretty :( 

@aheartandashirt nisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA MY KSH THIRST BUDDY KDHJKHDKJHDF fr ive had some of the BEST convos with you, ur taste in dramas is !!!!!!!!!!immaculate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its so so so  fun talking with you and everything you gif looks so nice !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for being such a lovely friend to me, you’re so easy to talk with and so friendly and nice and <3 *pat pat pat* 

@tetsuos dawn dawn !!!! you are !!!!!!!!!! such a talented person !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love ur little corner on the web, its so nice to read all ur thoughts about the dramas you’re watching, all your thoughts are so well thought out and interesting to read and, in general, i adore seeing you do ur thing :) *hug hug * 

@heartsofsunlight angel ! your drawings are so beautiful !! you are such a beautiful person in general ! whenever u drop by it makes me so happy, its been so lovely getting to know you, thank you so much for talking to me :) i love uuuuuuu

@metawin jay jay jay !!!!!!!!!!!! for some reason whenever i see u im overcome with so much love !!! everything you make is so beautiful and u are defo one of the most elite people here hehe, also ur cats are ........ so adorable ............ 

@metawwin aliiiiiiiiiiiii, its been such a pleasure seeing you on here !! ur so soooooo kind and whenever u sent me those adorable asks it made me so happy, you’re like a little happiness fairy, you eminate so much joy and positivity !! also ur singing ... immaculate 

@87s min min !!!! u are soooooooooooo adorable, i think ive said this before but u seriously give me little sibling vibes lol, its so fun talking to you, and im so happy that you first popped up to me !!!!!!!!!!! iluuuuuuuu

@joblessquinoa JQ :^)    i always associate you with my engineer haha, and that was so long ago !!!!! ur so fun to talk to, and i adore seeing u rb and leave ur thoughts on all the manga and webtoons im reading !!!! in fact whenever u like my posts i aways feel so happy hehe, also . i literally wouldve failed my coding course without u thank u SO much for helping me out * cries* 

@gigiesarocha cata CATA CATA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  when you first popped up i was so elated to talk to you, u seemed so nice:( and later when u told me u watched joan’s galaxy because of me i was sdhfsgijdfhjkdhjkfh all ur gifs are so unbelieveably gorgeous, i literally go back to the set u made of yioh staring at joan skipping all the time, its so ........ beautiful.......... hopefully we get more wlw content next year and hopefully theyre all as good as joan’s galaxy hehe, iluuuuuuuuuu

@yibobibo aamna my love !!!!!!! how are you so precious ? everytime u reblog any of my posts its an instant serotonin boost, the experience of getting back into mdzs along with u was seriously incomparable, it was so FUN and i wanna go back :( ur such a friendly wonderful and talented person and i adore seeing all ur creativity blossom on this website, ilu aamna !

@brightwin JELLY jelly u are literally the human embodiment of the softest teddy bear in the WORLD . i wanna give u all the hugs and pats i can because u make me so !!!!!!!!! happy and u fill me with so much soft warmth ........... thank u for being u, all ur gifs are so pretty and its been so nice to be able to bask in the light that comes off of u, never change i love u so sooooooooooo much <3

and lastly, some blogs that i really really adore !

@kurusutakatsu @chanagun @yuhaosturtle @jiangyanlisgf @duoerla @yinyu @tichawongtipkanon @jbums @wenqing @lemongrasslesbian @weiixian @schech @kikuism @earthfluuke @0ffgun @yamaguccchi @wullu @seniorwitch @leoyunxi @floraflorenzi @dreamterlude @florbexter @doctorbahnjit

[wexhappyxfew]

The Soldier of Stars: Band of Brothers

hello friends!! so ive decided just to put this up here, its one of my favorite parts of the story so far and i just thought since ive teased it so, it is just a little bit of soft!joeliebgott which i feel i personally love because i feel theres always more than hot-headed liebgott :) this portion is after the attack on nuenen with my main oc hazel and joe liebgott!! 💛 i hope you enjoy it if you read this!!

if you would like to be added to the taglist for The Soldier of Stars, please just shoot me a message or an ask!! :) 💛

Excerpt from Chapter 49

Once they had rolled away from Nuenen, Easy Company was on the road again, moving through Holland.

The night after Lizzie was evacuated and they had gotten Bull back, with a neatly wrapped shoulder, courtesy of Gene, Easy bedded out near Breugel.

Hazel had shared with Catherine the night before, but after the failure of Market Graden, all the officers were called to HQ to go over new orders straight from Sink.

Catherine had told Hazel not to worry about her tonight and instead bed out with someone else, Catherine wasn't sure if she was getting any sleep tonight.

So Hazel slowly wandered through the dark, her helmet strap swinging as she moved through, eyes searching for Joe; she figured he'd be open. Hazel eventually found Joe Liebgott, digging a foxhole alone, which was surprising as Hazel had figured Joe would be off with Chuck or Tab or Alley.

" Hey," Hazel said as she approached. Joe immediately looked up at the sound of her voice and a smirk spread across his lips. Hazel grinned.

" Hey, Parker." he said, turning to stake the shovel in the ground, before leaning back on the dirt, " What's up?"

" Catherine probably won't be back, all officers have been called to HQ," Hazel said as Joe met her eyes, a playful grin now adorning his lips, " so she sent me off."

" C'mon, Tiny, you could've just said you needed a foxhole partner." Joe said, seeing right through her. She hadn't wanted to bug him entirely. She offered an embarrassed smile.

" I didn't want to bother you." Hazel said and Joe's smirk only grew.

" You can always be my foxhole partner and you know that." Joe said as he slowly stood up and out of the foxhole and looked down at her.

" So, wanna help?" he asked her. She grinned and nodded. Her and Joe got to work, digging out the remnants, before sitting down side by side and sharing a K-ration. There was quiet chatter in the field as the two passed bits of food to break off and eat back and forth, before sharing some of the water in their canteen.

Hazel eventually lied back in the grass and Joe did the same, something they always seemed to do now. Hazel sighed softly to herself before turning and glancing over toward Joe.

" Joe?" she asked him softly. Joe slowly turned his head to glance at her. He could see the stars in her big, blue eyes, reflecting like a million lanterns were floated towards the sun.

" What's up?" he asked her.

" The war. They said if we succeeded with Market Garden, we'd take Berlin by Christmas and the war would be over, I don't think that's going to happen anymore." Hazel said. Joe quirked a brow her way and slowly sat up on his elbow looking down at her.

" What makes ya say that?"

" We retreated." Hazel said simply, looking up at him, with a slight frown on her lips. Joe bit back his lip and looked out towards the guys who milled about.

" It was one battle, right? I mean we can't win every one." Joe said shrugging his shoulders. Hazel nodded softly and let out a sigh.

" You're right." she said, as she thought back on Nuenen.

" Your arm ok?" Joe asked, and Hazel watched his eyes trail down to her wrist area. Hazel slowly sat up, her head rushing a bit, as she slowly pulled back the sleeve of her ODs to reveal the bandage Gene had nimbly attached earlier that day. 


" It's healing, but I'll be fine though. A little scratch won't do any harm." she said as she slowly pulled the OD sleeve back down.

" Hey, what's that?" he asked her and Hazel glanced at him before turning to follow his gaze where he pointed at her wrist. Hazel noticed that his eyes were trained on her bracelet, the one from Grace. A small smile fell on Hazel's lips. Hazel slowly brought her wrist up to her lap and gently let her right hand pick up the tiny bracelet from her wrist and hold it in her grasp.

" Grace gave it to me." Hazel said, and bit back her lip before glancing at Joe who was softly watching her in the moonlight. Hazel slowly turned the bracelet in her hands a bit.

" She said I was like a daughter to her because she couldn't have kids," Hazel said, her smile dropping a bit, " and so she gave it to me, before you took me to the pub." Joe smiled softly, the corner of his mouth upturned as he watched Hazel overturn the bracelet in her hands a bit, the slight shine the bracelet gave off as she turned it, glimmering under the glow of the moon.

" You should have it." Hazel said, turning and handing it towards Joe. Joe stared at her.

" Hazel, Grace gave it to ya, I'd hate to take it from you." Joe said, pushing her hand back.

" Incase I get hit," Hazel said, watching him, as he noticed fear overwhelming her eyes. In all the time he'd seen her in war, there seemingly wasn't an ounce of fear in her eyes, but now, now there was.

And it was a fear that had been shoved deep down into the darkest pits in her guts, hoping to never escape again. Hazel gently reached forward and took Joe's hand in her lap and brought the bracelet around his thin wrist.

" Hazel..."

" If I don't make it back, please at least take it to my mom." Hazel said glancing at Joe, a small smile on her lips, an unwavering one at that.

" Hazel, you're going to make it back." Joe said sitting up as his hand slid from her grasp. Hazel watched Joe, a soft smile on her face.

" Snipers don't have a high rate of making it back home, Joe." she said softly. Joe watched her.

" Don't say that, Parker." Joe said, reaching forward and placing a hand on her shoulder. Hazel softly grinned at him and shrugged.

" I've accepted it," she said softly, " better to accept death than to deny it." Joe watched her eyes, which seemed tormented and overwhelmed with stress and worry.

Beautiful eyes that shouldn't have to worry a second about life or death. But instead, she was risking her life, saying if she died, she'd have accepted it by that point in time.

" Hell, Tiny, you're braver than me." Joe said as he pulled his wrist back and looked at the bracelet on his wrist. It was dainty, and simple, with a gold chain that held it together on his wrist and nothing else. Hazel bit back her lip and watched as Joe gently touched it.

" I mean it when I say you're braver than me, Hazel." Joe said softly, slowly averting his gaze to her eyes which watched him gently, " Only other person who seems to have accepted death is that crazy lunatic Lieutenant Speirs, and he's fucking nuts." A small smile fell on Hazel's lips.

" Crazy lunatic is right." Hazel said and Joe snickered.

" It's brave though, I mean I have a hard time setting myself in that mindset." Joe said as Hazel softly smiled again.

" I never thought I'd have that mindset in war, but it helps with the memories." Hazel said, and then nodded, looking out at the stars.

Joe watched Hazel's eyes, even if it were from the side. He didn't know what had gotten into him, but Hazel truly fascinated him.

And it was a good fascination.

A fascination in the sense of adoration.

And Joe never thought he'd adore Hazel as much as he did, because he kept a tight circle usually.

But Hazel....Hazel was Hazel.

She wasn't fake, she wasn't someone who tried to be someone else, she was loyal and trustworthy and genuine and Joe just knew he could talk to her about anything. Joe had never admitted it to anyone, but he had always thought that even from the start that she had a beautiful soul.

And even if it were cliche, he had never met someone who was like Hazel.

And he was glad that the person he did meet was Hazel.

Maybe it was the look in her eyes when she greeted everyone in the barracks as he stood cowering in the corner pissed off at Bill Guarnere for the fight that broke out between the two of them, and then the anger that resided with him the rest of the boat ride.

Maybe it was the fairly firm handshake she had offered and the way her eyes were gentle enough to tell a different story compared to the rest of the company.

Maybe it was because she didn't approach him, asking what the other girls would ask; a dance, a kiss.

Maybe it was because she had accepted Joe for who he was and didn't seem to care that he was a real asshole or that he was someone who would fight people, until his hands dripped crimson red blood, down his knuckles and into his fingers.

Maybe it was what she had said to him, as she looked into her eyes, without fear, that sometimes people fought because they fought for what they believed in.

Maybe because instead of doubting himself for launching at Bill, he actually believed it, for a probable cause. Joe didn't know what it was, why he was the way he was, but Hazel had accepted him for him - and she always seemed to do that with every person.

Joe Liebgott felt there was no higher strength than that.

——————————————————————————

hi! if you made it this far, thanks so much for reading :) i appreicate it!! i might do this sometimes just to show of my favorite parts of the book, since ive just adored writing this sm!! stay lovely ~ 💛

[theangelofhorrors]

The Opossum (Deadly Premonition Fan Exchange 2019)

Summary: Polly asks York to help out with a pest problem at the hotel. It’s proving to be a little harder than catching the usual suspects.

Word Count: 1331 words

A/n: He have class, he give sass, but most importantly he scream at own ass.

Okay but seriously......

For the Deadly Premonition Fan Exchange/Secret Santa, I got @meme-queen-lucy. I heard you like opossums (a word I’m slowly still learning how to spell), so hopefully you’ll like this too. I also legit thought about making an opossum a deputy of Greenvale because I thought was something Swery would do lol. Too bad that didn’t make the final cut.

Also a special thanks to @michaeltillotson for beta-ing for me. I absoltutely appreicate anyone who takes the time to look at any of my stuff. Thank you again for helping me out. You are also the person who had set up this whole exchange thing for such a weird, niche game. This one’s for you too.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This isn’t what I expected when I signed up for the FBI. Isn’t that right, Zach?”

It was nearly 9 am and the rain spattered with rhythmic force against the window pane in the dining hall.

With a half empty cup of coffee, York was thinking about what Polly had said moments ago,  before they finished breakfast and she excused herself from the table.

“Agent Morgan, if it’s not too much trouble…”

“What is it, Polly?”

There was an infestation problem in the hotel.

“But don’t you worry, it’s nothing too serious.”

It was an opossum. Just the one.

“Just the one?” he asked.

“Yes, I think so.”

She mentioned that she had spotted this particular little thing digging around the trash cans outside the hotel over the past few days. At first, she paid no attention to it. Animals never bothered Polly, especially not living in this part of the country. It reminded her of the times she and her husband had gone out on hikes through the woods many years ago. They took many photos of themselves with nature and her companions with a polaroid she still had in her possession.

However, this little rascal made it through the door.

This...could cause some issues with the hotel and its guests.

What to do…?

“Again, Agent Morgan, if it isn’t too much trouble. I’m much too old and slow to do it myself.”

“Of course, Polly. I’ll see what I can do. It’s just one possum. How hard could it be?”

Polly also made sure that he would not kill the animal once he found it.

Possums. They’re like raccoons or oversized rats. No different than any pest York had met in the city. Plus, it should be easier to catch this than any of the criminals he had pursued.  

Why didn’t I listen to you, Zach?

That was three days ago…

“Having a hard time there, Agent York?”

It was Emily. She was completing eating it up alongside lunch at the sheriff’s department.

“An agent of the bureau can’t catch one little possum.”

York rolled his eyes.

Just like grade school…

“I’m an officer of the law, Emily. I catch people, not animals. I’m not a hunter.”

“I know you’re not,” she smiled. He didn’t mind the sight of her like this, especially during this horrid investigation, but not at his expense. “But it’s pretty funny that you’re having so much trouble. Have you thought about asking for help? Maybe Thomas knows something about possums.”

Dammit, why haven’t we thought about that before?

Thomas did in fact know something about possums.

“Well, first off, it’s ‘opossum’ and not possum.”

“What’s the difference?” York shrugged.

“Only that opossums live here in North America while possums live in Australia.”

During another break in the late afternoon, near evening, Thomas went deep into detail about what he knew about them.

They are not rodents, but marsupials, and have pouches to carry their young. They have opposable thumbs and use their tails to grasp things.

“They have a vast diet too,” he mentioned, “and by that, I mean they’ll eat anything, including garbage. Every so often we get a call from someone asking if we could remove one from their trash bins.”

“I didn’t know the sheriff’s department handled animal control.”

“We don’t. We just don’t have anyone else to handle it. It’s a small town after all.”

After some further consultation, by the time the day was over and everyone had said their good nights, York was brainstorming his plan.

“I think, Zach,” he said on the drive back to the hotel, “we’ll need a trap of sorts. Maybe we could use the snacks we’ve collected in our room. We need a box or a cage or something like that…” The car neared Greenvale’s edge by the waters, the moon a bright crescent in a lonely sky.

He chuckled.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t turn out like Mouse Trap. Remember, Zach? 1997. I’m not planning on becoming Chris Walken here.”

It was nearing 8 by the time he made it to the hotel. He greeted Polly by the front desk and asked about her day. The television playing in the background droned on about tomorrow’s forecast as she answered.

“I saw that darn opossum again. He scurried past me in the kitchen earlier today. I think I saw him go down one of the corridors here. God knows where he is now. I hope he isn’t making a mess in one of my rooms.”

“Don’t worry about it, Polly. I’ve been hatching up a plan to catch the thing. By tomorrow morning, I’ll get a trap set up.”

Naturally, Polly was delighted to hear this.

After a late dinner, York said his good night to Polly before heading to his room.

“If I have to be honest, Zach, all I can think about is whether I should shower now or in the morning.”

With a yawn and his eyelids drooping, the agent opened the door to his hotel room. He took off his suit jacket, his hands slipping out the sleeves, and went to shut the door behind him and find the light switch.

That’s when he noticed the crumbs on the floor.

He almost missed it.

They were as plain as day in the light under York’s sleepy gaze. They looked like bread or cookie crumbs and they made a trail that led to the bed, just a few feet away. Near the foot of the bed, crumbs and various other scraps of food and packaging were scattered in a mess around the suitcase he had brought his clothes in. The suitcase itself was open and on the floor. His shirts and pants were scattered, thrown around the floor. 

By now, York was wide awake, gun in hand.

Each careful step warranted a wide sweep of the eyes across every possible hiding place.

A hotel room is an odd place to rob. Not to mention the fact that nothing looked to be stolen. The only item that was out of place was the suitcase. Nothing else was opened or turned over. What was the motive behind this strange crime scene?

There was a squeak, like one of a small animal, and York’s arm snapped forward, hands ready to fire his gun. 

By the far side of the bed, near the windows, one of his shirts had piled up. However, there was something hiding underneath it. It was rising and falling, like the rhythm of someone’s breath.

With a nimble hand, the other remaining on the gun, he went to pluck the shirt away.

There in the open was the opossum. And he appeared to be asleep.

That, or he had eaten too much, and was or on the verge of passing out in front of the agent in his own room. He laid on his side, little pink paws outstretched, tail curled against him, and tongue out on the floor, drooling himself a pool of spit. His eyes were half open, and his ears twitched every so often.

“Well, Zach,” York sighed, putting his gun back in his holster, “looks like we found the little rascal.”

Despite himself, York poked the animal with a pen from his pocket. He obviously wasn’t dead, but he definitely wasn’t quite conscious. He let out another squeak upon contact with the pen.

“He must have found my stash of snacks. That’s what I get for hiding them in my suitcase. Better call Thomas.”

He got up and headed for the phone.

The opossum remained where he was and continued his nap on the floor, gurgling into his little puddle of drool, while York dialled.

[storytimefromthecreed]

Assassins As Roommates: Meeting the Spartan Siblings

When Maria had popped her head out into the backyard and alerted them the new arrivals had, well, arrived, all those who were not already inside rushed into the living room. “Don’t know why we bothered.” Edward laughed, indicating to the space. Everyone was here. Yusuf, Adewale, Arno, Aya, and Desmond were having drinks with Malik; Elise, Evie, Phillip, Demetri, Gerard, Bayek, and Shay were already lounging on the couches; and Aveline, Claudia, Haytham, and Ezio were peeking out the window.

“They’re here!” Haytham called, and excited rumblings erupted from the group.

“What do you think they’ll be like?” Phillip asked.

“I hear they’re the reason we have the Assassins in the first place.” Ezio looked quickly to his left. “I mean, with respect, Bayek.” 

Bayek raised his hand and laughed at Ezio’s fear. “I understand what you mean, please don’t make it worse trying to explain yourself farther.” 

Aya rose a brow and gave Ezio her famous cheshire grin, “Oh no, I’d love to hear Ezio explain.”

Demetri chuckled with Aya at her joke, but relief didn’t follow for Ezio. This only made them laugh harder. Instead, Ezio looked to the door. Immediately, a stack of luggage was the first thing they saw, and everyone held their breath at the Assassin covered in it. The luggage lowered to reveal...

The group groaned as Connor, red faced, walked inside. Upon spotting him struggling, everyone stepped in. Haytham grabbed the largest bag on top, Elise took the bags from his hands, and Shay took the other two, leaving Connor with two that he look to the stairs. Behind Connor came Altair escorting two strong, proud people. One woman they’d met before and recognized as Kassandra. The man that followed shared her good looks and nice hair, and waved awkwardly around the room.

Jacob’s heart leapt into his throat as applause rang around the room. Kassandra placed a hand on the man’s shoulder and declared, “We’re so honored to be invited here today, and we extend our many thanks. For those I haven’t the fortune of meeting yet, my name is Kassandra, and this is my brother, Alexios.”

“Hey.” His smile was small and awkward, like he didn’t know what to do when not glaring, but his eyes were warm and kind. Jacob would’ve given this more thought had not Edward clapped him on the back, distracting him.

“Welcome to our humble home, mate!”

Excited, everyone introduced themselves to the Spartan Siblings. Jacob tried his best to keep in the background. Curiousity taking advantage of him, he stayed watching them from a distance. Well, one of them. Kassandra he knew from the birthday party, but her brother gave him a strange feeling.

The party continued, the Spartans were helped to their rooms by the Kenways, and Arno, Bayek, Shay, Altair, and Henry went into the kitchen to attend to the food. Tucking in with his sister, Jacob stood awkwardly until the groups all returned and the party began. Needing some air, Jacob headed to the backyard.

Night had fallen, insects sang under a starry blue sky, and the hum of conversation from inside the house could be heard. The lights from the living room stretched over the backyard, and the shadows of those inside elongated in the grass. There was a moment where the sound became clear, then muffled again. Jacob turned to see, to his horror, Alexios bounding up to him.

His hair was tied half up and half down, and he waved his hand awkwardly. “Mind if I join you?” His voice was brass and melted into the night. Not trusting his words, Jacob nodded and looked over the backyard again. “Party getting clausaphobic for you like it was me?” Alexios chuckled weakly, then massaged the base of his head. “I’m Alexios, by the way. I don’t think I introduced myself to you yet.” He stuck out a hand.

Jacob firmly grasped it. “Jacob Frye, pleased to meet you.”

“Likewise.” He smiled a dazzling smile. “Frye? Any relation to Evie?”

“My sister.” Jacob kept his smile plastered on his face, already thinking of what sister dearest could have said about him. 

“She’s very sweet.”

“She is.” Jacob smiled. Alexios’s attempt for conversation was, dare he say, cute? “Kassandra’s pretty badass too, if you don’t mind my saying. Must be fun being her brother.”

“It is, but we’ve only known each other a short time. Long story.” Alexios chuckled, and the pair watched the stars.

Jacob’s heart fluttered like hummingbird’s wings. “Enjoying the party?”

“Truthfully, it’s a little...much.” Alexios confessed with a shrug. “Not that I don’t appreicate everyone coming out to meet us, it’s an honor really, but I’ve never been good in large crowds.” 

Jacob grinned, “Haven’t been doing it with the right people, mate. Come, one drink.” Alexios looked Jacob up and down, a smile beginning to form at his lips. Jacob pressed his luck. “Then I’ll pretend to get sick and you can leave without anyone being the wiser. That’s what I’d do with my gang, the Rooks. I’m pretty good with distractions.” Alexios’s smile grew and his eyes crinkled when he laughed.

“Ok, just for you.” That made Jacob’s heart glow. They walked to the door. Jacob opened it. “Just so you know, I’m a little lame.”

“Lame? Nah, I’m sure you have awesome stories.” Jacob lead him to the table and they grabbed a drink.

Alexios took a sip. “I mean, I don’t have a gang but I have a ship.”

Edward had begun to walk to Jacob, excited his friend has rejoined the party. Elise gripped his elbow, and Connor shook his head. Confused, Edward watched the scene.

“A ship? That’s really cool. I’d love to see it sometime.”

“Maybe we could go sailing.” Alexios bit his bottom lip, and Jacob blushed.

“I don’t get it. Never wants to see my ship.” Edward muttered under his breath. Having taken to siding beside Elise, Connor, and Aya, Edward watched the scene unravel.

“Edward.” Elise hissed, but Edward lamented.

“What? I don’t get it. Jacob’s never been intereted in the Jackdaw before. What’s so about Alexios’s ship?” Edward dropped his voice as Elise had, and leaned in. 

“Stay, have a drink with me.” Aya raised a glass, but Edward, arms crossed and lips in a pout, couldn’t look away from Jacob. Alexios and he were laughing. A joke unheard to the rest of them. There was a twinkle in Jacob’s eye.

“Jacob finds himself a man, greet, finally, thank the Lord; all I’m saying, is my ship’s better.” Edward took another drink and took a step, nearly spitting it when Connor chuckled.

“Not compared to mine.” They left the pair in privacy, and the party continued.

[lavellane]

💝💘💋💌 for duncan and nadaia 🤪

hehe thank u sm maia !!! 

i typed all of this up and then accidentally closed my tab nd lost all of it so ! sorry for the wait :))))

💝 What kinds of gifts does your OC recieve from their partner(s)? What kinds of gifts do they give in return?

so… honestly, duncan is kind essentially a sugar d*ddy dkfdjk i HATE that terminology/trope but, here we are. he loves to spoil her and he absolutely lives for showering her in gifts. i mean i guess what separates him from the trope is that nadaia isnt broke or anything, she’s fairly well off, and duncan doesn’t buy her things in order to get anything from it, so theres no manipulative element to it. mostly, he just enjoys buying her really frivolous shit she does NOT need. basically whenever he sees nadaia looking longingly at clothes, books, weapons etc he will usually end up buying it discreetly in order to surprise her later - he’s very big on surprises too ! he has also shelled out on some of her more recent tattoos, mostly because he loves her and loves the way they look on her, but also secretly because he LOVES watching how embarrassed she gets when someone asks her to explain the meaning behind her tattoos, especially the more impulsive/meaningless/stupid ones jdkjdsk

as for nadaia, she tends to go for the more meaningful presents, which are usually arcane/historical items that she picks up on her adventures. she always keeps an eye out for old relics or rare books for duncan to comb over for the next few months when she returns. also,,, duncan is an absolute varric tethras Stan, he is a complete dork about all of his books actually. so whenever nadaia is able to see him, she always tries to snag a signed copy of one of his books to bring back to duncan. he absolutely lost his mind the first time she did it, so its one of her favourite gifts to give him. 

💘 What do they love most about their partner(s)? What do their partner(s) love most about them?

duncan loves nadaia’s bravery and passion. she inspires him to constantly be better and try harder, and she’s never one for sugarcoating things which REALLY helps him, since most people do and it only serves to make him feel powerless. he loves her adventurous spirit and her ability to ask tough questions and challenge established ideas, which helps him feel more confident about doing the same. and,, i also have to mention he is super into her tattoos, he loves tracing over them and studying them - kissing them too depending on the situation,, u kno ;;;;;;;;;;;;) 

as for nadaia, she’s consistently overwhelmed by his compassion and intelligence, and his surprising warmth. on the surface he comes accross as a shy, introspective and melancholy person, she being one of the few people who can make him REALLY laugh always warms her heart. when he comes out of his shell, he is fair more confident, witty and suave than he lets on, so she appreicates how layered he is i guess lol. also ! he’s probably the least judgemental people shes ever met, and one of the only people she trusts to confide in completely. for this reason he helps her become a more empathetic person, just by listening to the way he talks about other people, and the high regard he seems to hold almost everybody in. 

💋 Who is the best kisser? (if you’d like write a short smooch scene!)

surprisingly, duncan is actually the best kisser ! tho u wouldnt know it from looking at him dsfjkfdj he’s has a lot of,, casual lovers though? so its more a matter of him having more experience than anything. anyway, he tends to be a very controlled smoocher, and holds himself back a lot, whereas what nadaia lacks in experience she makes up in with wholehearted enthusiasm lmao

💌 Write a love letter from your OC to their partner(s). BONUS: write a reply!

hehe ok so i cheated and wrote a letter from duncans sister, rose instead. but its cute i promise ! also i didnt write a reply bc this got way too out of hand oof

Lady Nadaia Lavellan,

I hope this letter finds you well, dear friend. Were this regarding any other matter, I would open with pleasantries - inquire as to how your studies are going; how you are finding your current stay in Denerim; what you think of Fereldan cheese and our abysmal weather. However, I am fortunate that we are old friends, you and I, and more fortunate still that we both hold a shared detest for small talk. So I will refrain, and hope you can forgive me for speaking my mind so abruptly.

To speak plainly, my reasons for penning this letter stem from concerns I have about my brother, Duncan. I apologize for not discussing said matters with you in person, but I sense that this is a … sensitive dillemma, one that requires discretion, if such a thing could ever exist in court.  I am aware - and albiet, pleasantly surprised - to see you and he have become rather close over the last several months. I speak for all in House Theirin when I say we are delighted to have you stay as our guest in the castle, at the behest of our future king. 

Nonetheless, I wish to share with you that I grow increasingly concerned with the odd manner in which my brother carries himself while in your presence. If I could be so bold, I do suspect that Duncan may have  … certain feelings of affection towards you, feelings I fear may cause him undue pain in the future. On more than one occasion I have caught him staring at you, while you were otherwise distracted, in ways I am afraid were most … unchaste, for lack of a better word. 

Truthfully, there have been countless incidents of late that cause me suspicion. The prince is far more distracted than normal (no small feat, I assure you) and yet seems utterly fixated whenever he shares a room with you. I have caught secret, strange smiles and even the occasional blush here and there, and what is most alarming is that he seems to be losing sleep over this - he awakens late in the day and appears fatigued, while still carrying that ridiculous smile of his as if he hadn’t a care in the world!

Lady Lavellan - Nadaia. I am confiding in you about this because you are a dear friend of mine, as you are a dear friend to Duncan, also. I believe his affections for you are harmless, and I do not mean to warn you against him or give you cause for resentment. I merely wish to ask a favour of you - to let him down easy, if possible.  Despite his misplaced affections, I have not seen my brother this happy in a very long time, and I know that you mean a great deal to him, as I am sure he does to you. Perhaps you might find a way to delicately address these feelings to him in the next few days … to clarify the nature of your relationship, so that he might better work to serve his family and his country. You are a wonderful woman, and I know he will see reason if it is coming from you.

Please do keep me informed in the coming days as to the situation, and I will eagerly await the next time our paths cross. 

With love,

Princess Roslyn Theirn of Denerim

- [ a letter from roslyn theirin addressed to nadaia da'eralen. nadaia read the letter to duncan - naked in bed with him - an hour later, absolutely beside herself with laughter. duncan promised he would better clarify the situation to his sister the next time he saw her. ]

[kidzbopmallcop]

Happy Valentine’s Day you little shit ♡♡

[sensesdialed-a]

📹

@friendlyspiderbite​ // my muse is going to walk into a certain death. send a symbol for their final message to your muse (accepting)

sent: 📲   for a TEXT.📞  for a VOICEMAIL.💌  for a LETTER.📹  for a PRE-RECORDED VIDEO.

He and Ben have been tracking down a gang together over the past few days, trying to figure out their various locations and plans for attacks on the city. It doesn’t take too long to figure out their branding, find out their motives and track down a few locations, but still, the puzzle isn’t fully solved. There’s something missing. Something in their plan that Peter finds himself thinking about over and over again. The two of them have been trying to piece together a few clues, when one day, Peter cracks it.

Ben isn’t home, off at the library working on a project with whoever he’s partnered with. Peter’s taken it upon himself to look over a few things they’ve found, before he figures it out. They’re planning on bombing the city, a public square that many attend every single day. Eyes widen as he digs further, trying to figure out some sort of solution. Researching the bomb and piecing everything together, he’s met with even worse news. The possible process of disabling the explosive would take a long time, and by the time Peter might even get a little close to stopping it, it’d already be too late.

That’s when it hits him.

Peter KNOWS what he has to do. He’ll take the bomb, swing it somewhere desolate as fast as possible. There would be property damage, sure, but at least no civilians would die. Well, except him. There’s no way he’d make it out alive.

It’s set to happen in two days. Two days for Peter to make a decision. Two days for him to muster up all the courage inside him to save the city, to be a HERO. He sleeps on it, and once he wakes up, he’s completely sure in what he’s doing.

School is LONG, and Peter can do anything but focus. He takes a last look at…everything. This’ll be the last time he sees it all. He has certain messages planned out for people, but there’s one important one.

It’s Ben. 

Trying to bury his fear, Peter puts his plan into action the moment he arrives home after school, making his way up to his room instead of going out on patrol. He shuts the door, locking it before sitting down in front of his open laptop, opening up the webcam recorder. Ben isn’t there again, instead talking with a teacher after school. The perfect chance. Taking a deep breath, Peter reaches out, and presses record. 

“Hey, Ben. I don’t know when you’re gonna find this, however soon after, right away or a while. I don’t-I don’t even know what my plan is, really. But I have to do this, so-” Another deep breath. “By the time you’re watching this, you probably know what happened. I just-I wanted to leave you a message, yeah? Don’t…don’t blame yourself for it, ‘cause I know you’re gonna find some way to do that. It ISN’T your fault. I’m just-I’m doing what I have to do, there’s no other way to stop it. It’s either me…or all those civilians. It’s gotta be me.” Breath hitches in his throat, and Peter feels hot tears sting his eyes, putting a hand to his mouth along with a sharp intake of air. “I’m-I’m scared, Ben. I don’t wanna die, but…I guess sometimes what we want…isn’t what we get. I’ll be okay. Just-I want you to live, okay? Go on with your life, don’t let it bring you down, save people, do all of that. You’ll be okay too-I know you can. You’re strong…and I love you. Bye, Ben.” 

Slowly, Peter reaches out to stop the recording, letting the tears fall and blur his vision as he creates a folder on the laptop, dragging the video file into it, and closing it. It’s not enough; he has to do something else. He gives himself a few moments, mulling over everything once again, before pulling out a piece of paper and a pen. 

Ben, 

Yeah, I’m writing you a letter. I don’t know when the last time I’ve written one of these was. Elementary school maybe? But whatever, that’s not the point. I hope you find this. I don’t know where I’m gonna put it, but I know you will. And I just wanna…explain what happened…why I did it, I guess. I solved the case while you weren’t here. They were planning on bombing the city, and the bomb, we wouldn’t have been able to disable it in time. It’d be impossible, without us and thousands of people dying. So…I’m gonna take it somewhere where it can’t harm anybody. Nobody but me. It’ll be fine, okay? I know you can move on, just know that I had to do this, and that it isn’t your fault. I’ll miss you. 

-Your slightly older twin, Peter. 

P.S. There’s something on my laptop I want you to see, here’s the password (**********) 

He notices darker stains on the paper from stray tears, still unable to hold himself together, and folds it in half, standing up to slip it underneath Ben’s pillow, a tiny bit of the corner sticking out. There. 

It’s later in the day, and Peter is perched up on a ledge, mask pulled up halfway to reveal his mouth, as he gazes down on an area in the city. He’s waiting for the time he’d figured out, the time passing by as his stomach drops with each second, fear and anxiety mixing together. This is it, this is the end. He’s TERRIFIED, so incredibly s c a r e d. He doesn’t want to leave, doesn’t want to end his life when there’s so much ahead of him, but what other choice does he have? He has to do this. Pulling out his phone, Peter scrolls through the contacts, finding Ben’s name, and pressing call. 

It goes to voicemail; he’d planned to make one last casual call, pretending everything was fine, just so he could hear his twin’s voice one last time, but…that chance is gone now. Sighing, Peter opts for second best. 

“Ben? Hey, what’re you doing? Is your phone dead? No point in asking that, you can’t answer, duh. Uh, what was I saying? Oh, um-right, I-” He didn’t think this far. “I’m not home right now…don’t worry, or anything, just wanted to let you know. But, shit, how do I put this…I really…I don’t know, this is stupid. I just wanna tell you that I…you know, appreicate you? You’ve been through so much shit, we both have, and uh-it’s nice having you there. Through everything. I…can’t be there for you anymore, though.” He tries to swallow the fear in his voice. “You…probably already know what happened. Just, when you can, check under your pillow? Bye.” 

A click of his phone, Peter sighs, finger hovering over the screen. He checks the time again. A minute before he has to jump into actions. He pulls the mask over his face completely, heart POUNDING in his chest, before sending one last text, leaving the phone behind and swinging right into action…never coming back again. 

[ txt. young grasshopper twin ] Check your voicemails. 

[danilfink]

ten lessons i’ve learned in 2017

as the year comes to a close, i thought i would sit down and think about all that i’ve learned in 2017. it has been a wild year. high highs and low lows. i would put 2017 down as my best year yet. i feel like i’ve really come into my own. i experienced so much this year. i can’t wait to see how 2018 tops it. but until the ball drops, i’m looking back so i could look forward in wisdom. 

lesson one - don’t say yes if you really want to say no. 

i’m a people pleaser and often will commit to things i don’t want to do because i know it’ll make the other person happy. but if i’m really not feeling it, i’ll either have to reschedule or back out completely down the road. it is better to be honest up front. in 2018 i’m going to be honest with where i’m at when people want to add me to their calendar. 

lesson two - be realistic about your time. 

i overcommit myself. i’m the kind of person to try to schedule three coffee dates in three hours. i like that i’m ambitious, but it often causes me to have to cancel or reschedule. so in 2018 i’m going to undercommit. instead of trying to work out, grab coffee with a friend, and clean my room all in an afternoon, i’ll commit to just one thing and give it my all. i won’t have to worry about feeling rushed or letting others down.

lesson three - one drink maximum. 

this is a lesson that i’ve learned the hard way. simply put, it is best if i stick to one drink when i drink. i feel better, i spend less. it’s a win win. in 2018 i will only drink at social occasions and i will only have one drink. 

lesson four - keeping your space clean makes you feel better. 

this year i have learned the value of organization. clean car. clean bedroom. clean bathroom. clean purse. when i see a mess, i sense all the unmade decisions and procrastination. when i see a clean space, my mind is free to feel proud and to think about other things i have to do. in 2018 i am going to maintain clean spaces by regularly tidying up and getting rid of unneccesary items. 

lesson five - if it’s cute but not comfortable, don’t buy it. 

there have been so many pairs of shoes and shirts that didn’t feel right when i was trying them on, but because they were cute, i bought them. but every time i looked at them, i would have this subconscious rememberance of their discomfort and choose something else in my closet. a year later and i’d only have worn the item once or twice. if it doesn’t make you feel good in the store, it won’t at home. in 2018 i’m only going to buy things that spark positive feelings. 

lesson six - tell the truth.

this may seem obvious, but we subtly don’t a lot of the time. we will work out for an hour but say an hour and a half because it sounds better. we will tell someone it’s only going to take 15 minutes to get there but it will at least take 20. we say we don’t have money to go to dinner but really we just want to stay home for the night. in 2018 i’m going to tell people the truth even if it doesn’t sound as good. 

lesson seven - if you feel negative emotions, take a minute to respond. 

i was prone to snap back with a comment or action the minute i felt a negative emotion. i assumed the worst and quickly responded to get back. if they said something passive aggressive, so would i. if they walked away, i would throw a tantrum. if they texted me something insensitive, i let them know how insensitive they were. but anytime i’ve held back from reacting and processed if i could be misreading things or how i could respond in kindness, i have always had a better experience with the person. in 2018 i will always pause and assess how i could handle the situation in a kind and respectful way. 

lesson eight - have a nightly ritual. 

i am a person who has to unwind after a day. whether that be a bath, hot tea in my favorite mug, candles, a tv show in bed, journaling. i need the space to calm down before i end my day. it is my reward for giving it my all during the day. in 2018 i am going to make sure i end my day around the same time each night so my internal body clock can start to sync. 

lesson nine - you can do the thing you don’t want to do. 

there have been many times this year that i didn’t want to do something. whether it be having a hard conversation, waiting in the cold for a light rail, waking up early to workout, or closing chapters in my life i didn’t want to. i am capable of doing the hard thing. i can do it. i don’t have to have fear or resistance. the thing will have to be done in order to progress, so i might as well do it with a smile. waiting only holds you back. running full force towards the thing you don’t want to do is important. in 2018 i will not wait even a moment to do the thing i don’t want to do. 

lesson ten - celebrate as often as you can. 

i live to celebrate life. life is too short to not honor the accomplishment. even if it’s small. this year i learned that every day has a moment to celebrate. i got to every appointment on time today, i got an a on my paper, i gave it my all at my workout, i talked to the cute guy at the store, i lived in the city for a year. they all deserve to be celebrated. and how you celebrate each accomplishment is different. but try to celebrate yourself and others every day. life keeps moving, so you have to make space to acknowledge the moment you are proud of. in 2018 i will write down one thing i accomplished and/or am proud of each day. 

i am thankful for 2017. it is a year that i couldn’t have mapped out. i lived in the city for nine months. i went on a raod trip to portland and seattle. i went to new orleans. i graduated college. i went to st marrteen with my entire family. i got a tattoo. i pierced my ears a bunch. i moved home. i started my own business. i became a nanny again. i worked at an elementary school helping with behavioral modification. i met a group of friends i do daily life with. i went to alaska on a mission trip. i spent three weeks in england. i visited morocco. i flew in a bush plane. i rode on a camel. i got multiple massages. i participated in two winter warmer passports. i got to see dirty dancing, need to breathe, and worship on the rocks at red rocks. i did my first friends camping trip. i learned and enjoyed many nights of swing dancing at mercy cafe. i visited wisconsin. i saw four of my friends get married. my dog and bird died. i solitified my love for thrifting. i rode on the back of a motorcycle through the mountains and the city. i hiked to the highest point of st marrteen. i discovered my love for plants. i rode horseback through the mountains with my mom. i went on a date with an english man. i scuba dived and rode a jet ski. i sailed into the sunset on a boat where you could see the water underneath your feet. i helped feed the homeless in downtown. i saw a country concert in the city streets of downtown. i hosted a 1920′s murder mystery birthday party. i set off a firework on the top of the rock with my austrailian friends. i watched the firework show at rockies stadium from a field across the way. i had an epic impromtu dance routine with my brother at my friend’s wedding. i helped paint a mural in the city.

there are so many other memories that aren’t coming to my attention right now that have made this year spectacular. i am a blessed woman. there are things that haven’t happend that i really hope do in 2018, but again, i can’t believe my luck. it’s not luck, it’s Jesus. thank you God for all that this year embodied. it was a year of growing into myself. i feel like i grew from a size small to medium. i get a lil emotional as i think about where i was when i started this year and where i am now. even with all the highs, so much of my memory is filled with the moments i felt so alone and sad. when i was crying wondering why life was happening in this certain way. there are questions the Lord hasn’t answered and wounds that are not healed. but i find peace in knowing that the Lord is paving my path and what is not meant for me has to be blindly accepted until i have perspective to appreicate the redirection.

in 2017 i learned that:

i am strong. i am determined. i am intentional. i am beautiful. i am a way maker.

2018 is my year of love. loving big. seeing love change others. seeing love change me. spotting love in the pain. wearing love everywhere i go. operating out of love and not fear. i will love where i am in the process. i will learn what love is. i will be loved powerfully. 

cheers to the year that has been and the year that is to come. 

[dysphcria]

it’s taken me a very long time to type this out - years and time to grow and think every once in a while about it, who i am, and who i want to be. i have wanted to put this into words and it’s taken me a very long time to even attempt to write this out, i don’t really expect anyone to read  this and it’s more for myself more than anything, but if any of you do read this i hope you can understand that this is all my feelings, thoughts, and opinions and not to attack or say how anyone else feels/thinks is wrong.

for a good portion of my life ive been sad, and not just ssad but self loathing, afraid, and angry. and it took a long time until i came to realize it was from depression and anxiety. coming to a place like here was a refuge, people understood me, they knew what it was like to feel such self hatred and disappointment in themself, to know how easily it is to be discouraged and how one small thing can set you into such a downward spiral. here i made close friends and even met my first boyfriend. he was so similar to me it seemed insane how in sync our feelings and thoughts were it seemed too good to be true, finally someone who understood me in a way no one really had before. but as time went on i started to become a not so good version of myself. i became selfish, commanding, insecure, and passed it off on my mental illness. i look back and i wish i could say that i am sorry for that and it plays a role into why i am making this post now.

dating someone so similar to you down to how sensitive and insecure you are became tiring. what was once a blessing was a curse and for someone who hated myself as much as i did i couldn’t stand being in a relationship with myself. but, hurting the person who had meant the most to you and worrying if it was a mistake kept me from ending things for a while, and when things ended it was very very bad. at first i was angry, very angry about the postion he put me in but time has healed the wounds and really i dont hold anything against him.

so time passes. remember how i mentioned i had become kind of selfish in my relationships? well a bit later i started dating this boy, i dont know how to express how he makes me feel but i can say that it’s quite similar to how he made me feel when we started talking over 2 years ago. a bit into our relationship the bad side of me, the one that i had become in my first relationship came out. it’s really hard to think that i could be so selfish to someone that i love so much and that i did as well to the first boy i loved. i used mental illness as an excuse, i said that it was the reason i could hurt the people around me and that’s just how it is. about half a year ago i was really hit with the fact that i needed to change. i took some time to be alone, to figure out what i needed to do to become a better person. i went to counseling and i started to learn how to forgive myself and move forward, the steps i needed to do to keep me from going to my dark places. i don’t want my mental illness to hold me back or be such a huge part of my life. i know it’s not an easy thing to do, and it will always be with me, but i wanted to learn how to deal with it so i dont hurt myself or anyone around me. but most importantly, i decided i didn’t want to “glamorize” sadness in the way that tumblr likes to do. here i was sucked into a world where everyone is a sad kid and we have this connection because we have depression and that life sucks. im not trying to sound insentive or to attack anyone trust me, i’ve been to the deepest depths of depression ive just decided for myself to no longer be a part of something that makes me focus on my sadness instead of what i can do to keep my mind away from it.

my ex was and i’m sure still is someone who is content with being sad, and that’s his decision, but i guess the reason that i have changed so much and no longer have contact with him is because i don’t want to be that kind of person. i know its not easy for many to try to change - it’s not a personality thing its a brain thing. but i guess being around that was triggering and quite toxic to me. im not really angry at him any longer or resentful but in all honesty he was a toxic person to me. he was someone who’s attitude was what i was trying to avoid, and he was hateful and unforgiving and cold.

ive come a long way and i still have panic attacks and days where i feel like i dont want to exist anymore because i dont see a point, and i know it will  always be a battle, but i’m very happy with the decisions ive made for myself and finding someone who makes me want to grow and fight what my brain thinks.

the last time i talked to my ex he got angry because i told him there would never be a chance that we would be together again. he shaped my life a lot and i appreicate the experiences we had but that was a past me and our relationship also belongs in the past. i was happy with being a friend but he got upset and angry. i thought i was doing the right thing by laying things out like that but i did upset him. i am glad that he has come a long way and that he is moving forward in life, and i dont regret our relationship at all. i am sorry for the pain and hurt he went through and i wish i had said that earlier.

like i said before these are just my own thoughts and feelings and i do not speak for anyone else. i wanted to kind of clear up what has happened over the past few years since i’ve left tumblr and the place i am now. i am not 100% happy and i doubt i ever will be, but ive started to find happiness in the small things around me and cutting out toxicity.

im sure im missing things to this because im tired and sore but i needed to brain vomit. thanks if you read this i hope you can understand me a little better.

[blueyedcas]

1,2,3,4,5,6/365

(can we all just take a moment to appreicate my incredibly graphics skills)

Hello! So I saw @charlie-minion do this through out 2016 and thought is sounded cool so she gave me the link to this post which explains it all. So yeah, I’ll (try) to keep up with this through out 2017! 

(I’ve missed out on 6 days of this so I’ll just do them all now)

1. Do you believe in New Year resolutions? If so what are your resolutions for this year? 

I’ve never really done New Years Resolutions before and, from what I’ve heard, they dont seem to be successful very often. However, I tend not to think anything is an 100% success or an 100% failure so I think I’ll try them out :)

1. I want to open up to people more, hence this 365 days of journaling. I stick to myself so much and always box things in so this is my first step to becoming more open. 

2. I want to eat less sugar. This is not a weight thing or a “i want to be slim” thing (or so I tell myself) but a health thing. I have a condition called Polysistic Ovaries which has lots of symptoms like missing my period for like a year, having more hair than most women, having painful periods when they do come ect. It also means I’m predisposed to diabetes (because of something to do with sugar i cant be bothered explaining it fully) But, basically, cutting out suagr should help the symptoms and condition as a whole.

3. I really really want to write more and get into the routine of writing.

4. I kinda wanna start actually...Liking myself. Lol.

2. Review of 2016

Um.. God, this is hard. How can I review an entire year in a post?? I lost a lot of people I looked up to such as my grandma, Carrie Fisher, Victoria Wood ect, Brexit and Drumpf happened which was pretty shit and other not so good things happened too, such as exams, fall outs, stress, anxiety... All that fun stuff :) But there were positives as well. I got better than I expected in my results (I passed physics?!?!?!?), i finally said good bye to my High School, i joined a college that I’m pretty happy in and met new people. So its been bad and good.

3. How could you help others this year?

Its worrying how long I’m taking to answer this, I should be able to answer straight away. All i can think is being kind. Not saying nasty things, listening to people, not judging people. I think another way to help people, and myself, is to actually say how I’m feeling or why I’m slowly drifting away from them... Shutting myself off and behavig like an utter areshole isnt helping anybody. So maybe that?? I dont flipping know.

4. How can you help yourself this year?

Again, actually talking to people, I think. Which is easier said that done tbh. What might also be helpful is to maybe be kinder to myself. And also stop getting so emotionally invested in TV shows because, honestly, I dont think my heart can take anymore.

5. What do you want to achieve this year?

I want to write more stories and complete a script that a friend asked me to do.. Except i have no idea how to write a script... And I have barely started... And he said he wanted it for the end of Jan... Shit...

I also wanna achieve self love and all that jazz but I mean?? Realistically?? Maybe learn to just not dislike myself first. Then I’ll get onto the harder stuff.

6. List ways to succeed personally this year.

Keep up with this journaling thing! Also keep writing in my diary too, I think that will help. Also, realise that no one, including myself, is perfect and thats okay. And that people might actually like me. I know, its wild. Forcing myself to actually continue writing would also be a success. And to not eat as much flipping chocolate because jesus christ It! Is! Not! Good! For! You!

Anyway, I’ll (hopefully) be posting these every day so thanks for reading or, if you didn’t read and just scrolled (I honestly dont blame you) I hope you’ve having a nice day!! (that was really cringey wasnt it?? sorry). If you don’t want to see these they’ll be tagged 365 Days of Journaling. Hopefully i dont lose that many followers lol.

Sophie xx

[mintyisland-blog]

Mass Effect: Andromeda

Okay, I get why people didn’t liek it but it really wans’t that bad everyone. The glitiches were minimal but hey, I’m playing it after a year of its’ release so this time i went by pretty smoothly. I’m just goingot be wiritng what i loved aobut it cause i gotta stay positive, although i think i’m a pretty positive person a majority of the time so maybe i should be critical of it as well. yeah i thnk i will. ANDROMEDA REVIEW EVERYONE.

Okay, let’s start out with my pathfinder. I named her Serinity because that was the name of the protagonist of a christian anime girl manga series...Oh god. Let me rew rowrd that. Serinity is the name of this blue haird main character from a christian manga that was named...Serinity. Redundency..myt bad. Anway, Ryder...let’s keep it skimple. Ryder, was a pretty likeable character. She had some depth but i waill admit there wasn’t that much of a character arch but i guess it just dpens how you decided to protray her. I made her  alot more compasionate and understanding in most moments. I remember lexi giving a proifle on how I was protryahing her. She said I was rash with my actions??? But I was compasionate and caring towards most people. Not gonna lie i paniced during some missions when i had to tap RT at some point.  So yeah...Ryder was meh. I made her pretty funny too so I guess that was good cause my gameplay would have been rather dull. Okay. So I posted on my therepy post on thesome of the chacters, or at least i mentioned them a little but yeah. Let’s start with Jaal.

Jaal...when I first saw him, I was like...hmmm...potential. Potential but I was defienitly looking at Vetra when i first met her cause damn...she’s is one good luooking turian. I didn’t get to romance Garrus from the trilogy (I haven’tplayed Massef 2 and 3...I know I know...I’m stupid) so I thought I was going to make it up when I met Vetra...however when i realized how opentnly emotional Jaal was, I was like doki doki hadr core my dadue.  He was just so caring. The way he smiled at Ryder and called her darling!! Ahhhhhh...so cute. He also went through some emotinal trauma with the discovery of the oriings of his race...spoilers everyone...I tend to love characters who are broken in some aspect. Like trust me, the more broken the character, the more I want to love  them. Perhaps they’re a reflection of me. So yeah, Jaal was broken and I loved that about him well...also with the fact he was very accepting and open abouthimself. I took a clip of wen we went to Hrval and he showed Ryder the blueprints of his pet and a gun. Ryder’s expresions wer epriceless. I’ll try uploading it on here before I fnisish this post. Classic. The romance scene was on point...They’re super cute! I got to se eRyder’s tittes...was not expecting that. but yeah, interspecies SEX! I’m sure Jaal did Ryder right...is it strange if I put I instead of Ryder...I mean, It is a role playing game so I am putting myself as Ryder but it wouldn’t be actually me but it is me making the decions so it is me...huh? Don’t mind me. Now that I thnk about it, if I did put I, it would make me sound like a weird kinky chiick that liker interspecies sex.....???hmmm. Well, I’m kinky ...scratch that. I’m pretty simple when it comes to sex but that’s a discusion for another time. This is about Jaal. ...Something I look for in characters is their eyes. Jaal’s eyes look like a kitties or aligattors...maybe a corss but they were just stunning...I liked them. The general design of the angara was pretty well made. I love how broad their shoulers can ge and his thighs..tem booty. So lusicious. .

Speaking of lusicouls bootie, Ryes REYES!! You damn bad boy you...me and the bad boys have had quite the history. He was a smuggler and the first character I (Ryder) got to kiss and I didn’t mind...okay i was a bit guiltycause I liked Jaal and Vetra at the time. But the cut scene after wards when he ays he came to be someone and then I was all like “You’re someone to me” was cliche but I think that what he needed to hear at the time. I don’t know what the history he lift behind in the Milky way was but he obviously wanted a change. Just like how I want to leave my past behaviors behind and move on. Well...more like I want to become someone just like him. I think that’s why I really liked him. When I disocvered he was the charletan (spilers...my bad) I did’t think too badly of him but I did lose some trust because I don’t tolerate liars...plus I wanted to commit myself to only Jaal at that point too. I feel like my timel timeline was a bit whack but if i play another playthrough I woill get it right. I know some things I’ll change. Like my male rider will be with Ryes..  He deserves love.

Okay, so a quick thing on Vetra was how much she loved her family cause all she had as sid so I really admired how much she wanted to look after her sister. Maybe it’s because Vetra is like my older sister but I think not as strict. Mys sister worries for me but she trusts that I can be an adult and that I fifigure myself out...of course she hhhas my back though.

Okay, Drack...he makes me happy. I didn’t gorw up with a granda or just and grandmpa like figure in my life so i wasn’t sure how to go about interacting with him but honestly I loved him once i realized his grandaughter was back on the Nexus. On his lyalty mission he was just so funny on how he interacted with the other krogan and I love how he uses his age as an excuse. “Just let me be a old grauchy old man in peach”...That’s going to be me when I’m old.  I realized I realliked drack a lot on the mission when were inflitrating the kett shipa and we realized the krogan were being used for exaltation. Initally I picked saving the salarian pathfinder because I wanted at least one of the oriangl pathfinders alive but alsa when I saw Drax’s reaction, I went back to replay 20 mins of gameplay so that I could get on hs good side. Because Honestly the Krogans have gone through a hella lot of shit. Like in the Milky Galaxy and now so they should be given slack. They’re not wanting to be the war like monsters that defined them in the Milky Way. They would be warriors but they would know when to put their swords away. I got that from Inuistion. Which I will probab write aoubt next.

Okay...now that bad companions. They’re not bad bad but I just didn’t findi anything to exciing about sayyyyyy Liam. Love the accent but boy, you are just so impulsive...Kinda gets on my nerve. Like even his lyalty mission was just one big fuck over but hey, he was the one person who wanted to reach out to the angara and wanted tounderstand them on ta better level so i appreicate hisbromance with Jaal...Cora was obsessed with her military history. Like yeah, I get it you were a untress...I don’t hink that would have been a good fit for a Pathfinder now that I think about it because she might have brought a more military based agenda if she were the leader and hat wouldn’t have ended well. It wouldve been the pilgrims with the indians in a sense. It would just be a huge mess. Now for my least favoirte character. Peeebee. ..There’s a comic I saw about if Shepard was in Adromeda and if he had seen Pbee, Garruis would’ve just shot her cause damn...she did look rabid haha. She was just annoying. She was kinda like Sera from Dragon age but I actually liked Sera’s craziness. Peebee was just in your face and needed to uptone her elcorness hahaha.. I liked the fact she made a robot that could kill for methouhg. That’s the only puls side from her. Oh my god...her loyalty mssion was annoying with the fact her ex was probably the most annoying character...more so than peebee so you can just imagine me just rolling my eyes hroughout the enire mission. Like geez...why would she have fallen for someone as self centered as that bitch? Mybe it was ...Maybe she didn’t always act like that but just the fact the ex tried to one up peebee in every way was so annoying. Like geezus...Please obsssess over somethig else please. Just didn’t want to deal with her at all. The end. just kidding. I have more wot rite aobu tlike the plot.

So the plot of the game wasn’t so bad in my opinon. The race of kett were actually thretening as they sought to pretty mch commit gennocide by removing whole species and ...except those speciwould’ve turened into them so they would die but not really die cause t HOld on...So they toak on aspects of certain aliens but when ever I scnaned them I remember sam or Lexi saying that they were all kett...like there was very little left from the species that they had transformed from. And they’re not all Angara right. Casue the Archon said he was a mixture of thousands of species...which means...maybe they travled from another galaxy?? *ponders* So...yeah..a decen villain and with the whole “looking for ahome” aspect,it made a legitmate story line so I don’t understand how people got bored of it. If anything a lot osf the side mission were lengthy and too much snanny. I wish I could’ve gotten more reasearch points for reverant pcause I really wanted to make their amor. but I didn’t san enough stupid scupltures. I was rough. Uh oh...it stopped noooo. I had so much to say. Okay it wasn’t that far behind. I was writing about he Ryder twins and how I hoped that Scott would’ve been brought ealier into the game so you caould actually play as him and he would just have a different load out. Seeing the wtins interacting more would’ve been cool , plus it wouldve gien me incite on Ryder Sr.  who was the classical overworking father who diesn’t pay much attention to his family. I like the fact the loved Ellen though...Like he legitmately love dher but he put his love all towards her insteaand her survival, which was ultimately a good thing cause it saved Ellen. Speaking of which, I’m surprised they didn’t find the cure for Ellen...maybe it’ll be implicated in the DLC? I haven’t heard of a DLC but they should come out with one cause of how they ened it with e qurian ark coming in at the end. (spiler...lol I should propbably put this in the bennning but fuck it.)  Yeah, that’s my review. Yay!

SAM had awesome puns. I don’t care how bad they were...I loved them.

[chineseamericantraveler]

Day 9: May 20 - Toulouse

Katie and I set our alarms for 8:30 and 9 AM, but didn't actually start the waking up process until 9 AM. Last night, I had marked a few interesting places on my Google Maps app and we decided to first head to St. Sernin's Basilica, as it was the closest to our hostel. We were out the door by 10:30 (I think) but when we got outside, we found that a lot of shops and restaurants had not even been unlocked and were not open. It seemed that Toulouse's start time was later than we thought as we were one of the only ones on the street.

Saint Sernin's Basilica is a huge church shaped like a cross with a huge bell tower sticking out of the middle of the cross. Once we went inside (free!!!), we perused the towering ceilings and beautiful stained glass windows, admiring how vibrant the colors were.

Once we had finished ogling, we searched for a café that was both open right then, and cheap. We walked to The Coffee Pot just down the road and I got my first taste of the Toulousian accent that the Reisers told me about. As soon as the woman in TCP started to talk, I got really flustered until another person helped translate what I wanted to order for Katie and I for breakfast. Long story short, we were able to get our food, but not before a complete failure of my French skills. Regardless, the piece of pesto and tomato “pie” (actually quiche I think) I got, can of Orangina, and Katie’s pain au chocolat (called “chocolatine” in Toulouse) were delivered to our table outside the small café. Something curious that Katie and I have been experiencing recently is that we’ll go inside an establishment/café and order something and the people will tell us to sit without paying. After we’ve got our food and finished, we’ll go back inside and pay. We can’t figure out if this is a common thing in Europe or just the unique places we’ve been.

Once we were finished with our breakfast, we paid after eating and then went across the small street to a place called Chez Pain-Pain and obtained a 1 euro baguette which tasted A-MAZ-ING, especially at only a euro!!

We wandered the streets a little, stopping at a few paper supplies/print shops until we came upon Place du Capitole, or the center of Toulouse where the city hall was. The city center was quite still (it was around 11 AM now) but many stalls of tourist lures had already set up. The square was reminiscent of Brussels’s Grand Place for me and we stopped by the underground parking garage’s ledges so that I could (unwisely) feed pigeons some of the baguette I so loved.

After resting a little, we headed off to Couvent des Jacobins, which is well known for its amazing ceiling. Honestly, I looked at pictures online and kind of went “meh” but pictures do not do the convent’s sheer size any sort of justice. Definitely impressive!

We decided we wanted to walk by the Garonne river and happened to stumble upon Pont Neuf, Toulouse’s most well known bridge (that we didn’t even realize we crossed until the next day). The bridge provided a very strong wind that allowed us to cool off from the surprisingly sunny day after a little bit of temperature/weather fluctuation between rain and sun. We had moments where we had to wear our jackets (I lent my scarf to Katie) and times when we were feeling a bit warm in our jackets.

We then decided to find Gardin Japonais (according to TripAdvisor), a garden that was very close to our hostel to take a rest from all the walking we were doing. I was navigating and took a few wrong turns until we realized we kept walking past the green space actually called Pierre Baudis Centre de Congrès. Fortunately, we were in a nice relaxed mood and hung out there for a little anyway after walking around.

That was when we decided to return to patisserie that we happened to walk by earlier in the day and get some more pastries. We navigated our way back to Au Poussin Bleu Père et Fils and spoke to the very nice young woman inside who would be going to America sometime (if she’s lucky, as she said). Katie got a pistachio-raspberry (macaron) éclair while I got a tarte au framboise (raspberry taste) at the recommendation of Grace Hayes that I met in China who told me over Snapchat. Both were delicious and well appreicated and loved when we went back to Place du Capitole (surprise!).

However, after that, our dinner was a little “spoiled” and we found ourselves not hungry after that and decided to return to the hostel around 8 PM (France is a little higher on the Earth from the equator and sunset comes around 9:15, by the time the sky fully darkened, it would suddenly be around 10 PM). We talked to the German woman in our room and she recommended to us Nuit des Musées, where there was electro music in the Musée des Augustines as well as the Marché Victor Hugo, but Katie and I were ready to call it a night. Definitely a heavy walking day, but the pace seemed slower and more relaxed which both of us enjoyed. Tomorrow would be our last day in Toulouse but we wouldn’t have to wake up early because our Ryanair flight to Naples wasn’t until around 5 PM.

[myletterstoyoumrzubair]

Dear Mr Z edition 12 270317

Dear Hassan

I am so proud of you, that you try so hard to achieve your dreams. I know you sometimes feel guilty being away so you can work means that we are apart, but being apart doesn't mean we don’t have each other, cos we still do. After all, when the stars are out at night all we have to do is look up, those stars connect us because they are the same stars no matter where you and I are in the world. The thing is, these few weeks of separation, it’s nothing, it’s a blink of an eye, and inshallah, before we know it you will be graduating, and hopefully finding a way to maybe get your doctorate, or a job. Whatever happens now is only the foundation for a future, hopefully a future together, and not seeing each other at times is only a small sacrifice to make for your happiness, and for you succeeding in what you want to do and where you want to be. Yes, I am not going to lie or hide it when I say, It is hard not being able to reach my arms out and give you a hug, or to simply look in your eyes and tell you how much you are loved, it is hard not being able to be with you, I hope and pray and have faith this is only a short term thing, after all we both hope that Allah will allow us to spend our lives together, and for now in the short term, we both know that we are only on the other end of the phone. We are lucky that we live in a modern society where all we have to do is phone one another, and right now I am so appreciative that phones exist. I still think it’s kind of ironic, you say you moved to my town so you can be nearer to me, so that you have opportunities to come and say help first thing in the morning, and so you don’t have to rely on your brother to let you come and see me, but now you do live here, we have seen each other even less than when you did have to rely on the train or your brother to come say hello. I do worry sometimes what working so hard does to you. I know you have no choice but in general you basically have no life right now, you have no personal down time for anything, and that is not healthy. I know you wish that you could have a normal 9-5 job, so that you can have a life of your own, and so that you don’t come home feeling ill after each day at work. I know what it feels like, when I was training in London, when you add up the hours for uni, placement, coursework and a part time job I was doing 70 hour weeks at time, I know it’s no way to live, but yet students often end up working that hard just to have money to survive and work to their deadlines. Hubby, I am so proud of you and I want you to know you are not alone. I am here for you and I hope to be there for you when you graduate too, after all inshallah it is not long away till the end of the academic year. I know you wish you could be with me, and I know that you will be when there is time to be. You said that this is a test of our own, finding ways to be together despite having our own busy lives and our own commitments with work and studies, but I know that as long as we try our best to be there for each other, even if at times we cannot be in person, we genuinely still are there for each other, after all in many ways we are a team. Also with my own experiences I know that you have to be able to look after yourself as an individual and nurture your own needs to be a happy member of a two-way relationship. Relationships are a two-way thing, they are team work and they are nurturing each other as a couple and as individuals. Sometimes people have to compromise or make sacrifices for the other person in the relationship, or so that your own needs are met, but despite this people should always try their best to make sure they do put in the effort to allow the other person to know that their partner is loved, respected and cherished. The fact that, despite everything, we do our best to make time for each other, even if it is only a phone call, or small gestures like helping to search for jobs or train times, or invites to join at the cinema when there is the time, that is what shows that we are still there for each other, and that we love each other, because we both put in that effort, and because like you say, actions speak louder than words. Right now, I know you are trying to help me discover Islam more than I knew before. Yes, ok it started off because I wanted to understand things through your eyes, and I did that so I can further understand you out of love, and has turned into a greater curiosity than that where I am exploring Islam in my own way. the fact that you are willing to answer questions is loving. I know Islam teaches about relationships, and how to look after your relationship and be there for one another, and it also puts your partner, except from Allah, at the centre of someone’s personal world, their own bubble. I read something the other day, not directly from the Quran, but based on its ideas, how to show love, because love is more complex that simply an emotion, its appreication, dedication, friendship, nurturing, caring, kind, you get my point; love and realtionships take effort. for example, as told by that vlog,  Things like wife being there to open the front door for her husband, making his favourite meal, telling him what she loves about him and what she appreciates that he has done for her. And as for the husband, things like being a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, getting her a surprise bunch of flowers, cooker her dinner from time to time, telling her what he loves about her, waking her up in the morning so she can pray. The ideas are endless. It was all about gestures being louder than words, showing appreciation and creating positivity in a relationship rather than thinking about faults or negativities. We find our own ways of being openly loving, even despite having to be apart from each other, from time to time so you can achieve your dreams. And I personally, I do appreciate it when you make the effort, even if it is just to call me when you can. I love talking to you and finding out what you have been up to, and hubby, we’ll get through this. I love you very much.  I tried very hard yesterday not to message you most of the day so I wouldn’t be distracting you from working hard, that was only a small sacrifice to make to allow you to be able to do what you need to do, and I hope you have had a very productive weekend, less than two months of this left to go, and in terms of things that’s only a blink of an eye. Just keep praying for us, and don’t neglect yourself in that either. Hopefully we will see each other soon. x

Love you so much, and I really believe that you can do this, you deserve this.

Shelly x