#and I am soOoOoooO nOT biased whatever

[normal-about-media]

Favorite musical?

Just one? Thaaaaat’s a hard one. Second running is honestly probably either PROM (Because gAy)!! or Newsies (Because unions!!)

… but my all time favorite will always be the Rattatusical <3 🐀🧑‍🍳

[echoesofadream]

Let's do discourse that is just for fun and not serious even a little honestly because I'm in an argumentative mood and I think this fandom needs more not serious discourse instead of whatever the fuck the discourse actually is like we should be arguing if taehyung is more bear or tiger not which member is fucking who or if they hate each other and are trying to kill each other on camera.

OK let me go first and say: double biasing is cheating! Like I think there are a few people that this actually applies to but I think it is very rare, much more rare than the people who claim to be "double biased". I'm sorry but you are not. I can understand the temptation of claiming it but I know that within you there is one person which your heart chose and if you are not sure who that is then you're just not big enough of fan yet. Like at the beginning stage of my armydom I looked at all members and I was like omg honestly any of these could be my bias how do i chose like I like them all in different ways they are good in different ways which is true! But the answer is you do not chose. It's like in Harry Potter the bias chooses you. And then you are like well I love this/these other member(s) SO soooooooo much BUT this does mean they are your second bias! Like so many times I've been like "how can I love Taehyung this indescribably much and he's still not my bias?", so I understand but it does not mean he is my bias. We have the term bias wrecker for a reason, and yes, the bias wrecker can then either stay your bias wrecker or actually wreck your bias and become your new bias but this is a very big deal like it does not happen easily. They then REPLACE your original bias, you do NOT get to keep your original bias. So you have to to think very long and hard if you are ready to unbias your bias for this new member. Ofc you may have a bias line and bias wrecker etc but there is something called your "ult", aka ULTIMATE BIAS, this is very serious. I think people should take these things seriously!

Well anyway this is just my opinion of course I'm just very opinionated I am just joking around here like it's ridiculous to imagine I had any say in who people bias or if they double bias lmaooo but this is my view lol like how BTS debate mint chocolate and other things on RUN BTS. I want to die when I brush my teeth etc etc. Love and light

[km045a]

My Current In's and Out's

IN #1. NAYEON!!!!!!!

My Twice biases are actually Mina and Sana (j-line come thruuu😂) bt these days, Nayeon has been catching my eye! I love her so much. I need her to ruin me. Run me over with a car, I'm not even joking. She is sooooo super cute. I LOVE TWICE! (I think that's another IN but I will just incorporate it into this one) I've been listening to POP! again recently and it's such a good album ngl, like it really gets my heart pumping. It gets me singing and all excited. THIS BITCH I KNOW WENT TO THE TWICE CONCERT WITH HER ENTIRE FAMILY AND WAS SITTING LIKE IN SECTION B OR WHATEVER WHICH WAS LIKE ONE OF THE CLOSEST SECTIONS TO THE STAGE BUT SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THING ABOUT TWICE. SHE ONLY KNOWS FANCY. The day I found this out was a really sad day for me. Okay I did not plan this post out before starting on it but I already know what the first OUT will be.

OUT #1. HOW FUCKING LAGGY THIS WEBSITE IS BEING RN.

BRUH I AM TRYING TO TYPE MY IDEAS DOWN BUT I HAVE TO TYPE SOOOOOOOO SLOWLY AND GO OVER AND RETYPE SOME PARTS BECAUSE THIS WEBSITE IS TO LAGGY. I am mad. But life goes on..... #btsarmy.

IN #2. lesbianism

I get lesbians 🥺 (tommyinnit quote). BE WHO YOU ARE! Be gay do crime????? I need more lesbian representation EVERYWHERE. I MUST BE REPRESENTED. Not enough people talk about how pretty the lesbian flag actually is... LIKE! HELLO!????? Some more commotion for the flag please............. I know that a flag is merely a flag who we are is more important but like nice flag nice life or whateva.

OUT #2. summer.

I HATE SUMMER. I HATE SUMMER SOOOOOOO MUCH. IT'S ALMOST MARCH BUT IT'S STILL HOT. I HATEEEEEEEEE SUMMER.

okay bye

[katieskarlette]

So, about that Anduin raid cinematic...

SPOILERS (and bitter salt) AHEAD

This is my initial reaction after watching it, without being influenced by any one else’s takes.

Varian’s spirit showing up to help = YESSSSSSSSS

Josh and Patty’s voice acting = A+

Sylvanas’ level of self awareness and introspection = Good.

Literally everything else = WTF

Luckily my expectations were low, but still.  Ugh.

More thoughts, in no particular order...

Since when did Varok Saurfang have as big an influence on Anduin as his own father?  That was just a blatant attempt at faction balance, and only distracted from Varian’s long-awaited cameo.  

I know she’s far, far less well-known than Saurfang, but how awesome would it have been if Tiffin was there instead?  I guess there was only room for one mother/son reunion in this expansion and Draka and Thrall already took the spot.  (Nothing against Draka and Thrall, but there were so many missed opportunities in Shadowlands you’d need a fleet of dumptrucks to carry them away, and Tiffin was definitely one of them.)

It also begs the question of where the frick Varian and Saurfang have been all expansion long.  Not with a covenant, apparently.  Just floating around randomly somewhere?  Is that a thing?  And this is the first we hear from them?  What?  Why?  And how did they get to Zereth Mortis?  The same way we did?  Or are spirits able to just go anywhere in the cosmos if they want?  What?  Huh?

[EDIT:  I guess Varian and Saurfang were supposed to be manifestations from Anduin’s memories, or echoes of them left in Shalamayne when they died holding the sword, but whatever.]

Sylvanas is the only one to speak to the last trace of Arthas.  Never mind that his one-time fiancee and the mentor who was basically his adopted father were standing right there.  Uther did get a few emotional words in, but Jaina was reduced to silently steadying Anduin in the background.

What point was there having Arthas there at all, then?  He didn’t help Anduin break free as some kind of atonement.  He was just there to provide a nostalgic echo of his ICC raid abilities and give Sylvanas a moment of introspection.   “Only darkness before me” indeed.

I’m sure quasi-forgiving him will help her soul heal, but she could have come to that conclusion plenty of other ways...ways that didn’t shortchange three other major lore characters.

Does anybody at Blizzard even remember that Jaina was literally months away from marrying Arthas when he got cold feet?  (Cold feet as in fear of commitment, not the literal cold feet and every other body part he got when he picked up Frostmourne...heh.)  But point being she was deeply in love with him and fully prepared to become his queen, raise children with him, etc. and should have been given narrative space to react to his ultimate fate.  Maaaaaybe there’s a bit of dialog after the cinematic that I am unaware of, but even so it’s less than their story deserved.  (Yes I’m biased by 17 years of shipping, but their significance to the franchise since WCIII cannot be denied.)  Would it have killed Blizz to have her reach out to the flickering soul fragment, only to have it fade away at her touch, and for her to collapse to her knees in grief?  Simple to animate, no dialog needed, and it would have acknowledged their bond.

So much for all that lip service from Blizz about how they want to do right by a character as iconic as Arthas and will be soooooooo careful if they bring him back.  He’s a fart of swamp gas with no agency or dialog.  WTF?

If I cared enough anymore I’d try to write a fanfic to substitute this bullshit with my own ideas, but Shadowlands (and BFA, to a lesser extent) has stifled my enthusiasm for the lore too much.  I will continue to love the characters as they used to be, as I remember them from their heyday when there was an attempt at characterization and narrative structure.  But there’s a reason I haven’t played since like July or August of last year.  I can put up with a certain amount of grindy, fiddly game systems with only some mild grumbling, if the story is compelling and I’m invested in the characters.  If.  Denathrius was far and away the best part of the expansion to me, and once he was out of the picture my interest plummeted.  He should have been the headlining villain of Shadowlands, not Zovaal.  But I’m getting off-topic now.  Suffice it to say that I wasn’t expecting much from the 9.2 raid, lore-wise, and I was still disappointed.

[hufflepuff-ish]

The Skam 11 questions tag (don’t quote me on this, I just wanted to give this a title lol)

rules:

always repost the rules

answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!

give 11 questions

tag 11 people

Thank you @hufflepuffsh for tagging me babe x (lowkey would love to know your answers to my questions but don’t want you to be tagged twice lol)

1. Which remake/og sqaud do you think you would personally fit into the most? 

This is such a difficult question, oof. So I’m shy, but I’m also a good listener, and I try to be supportive of my friends, sometimes I’m more with myself between my own shell but I also like loosening up and having fun. I think because of that my answer is Skam NL’s squad (honesly maybe it’s just because I’m biased lol). They’re so accepting and loving, and I feel like their general energy is similar enough to mine (but way cooler), so I think they’d just accept me as I am and they would be easy for me to get along with.

2. What is your favourite remake and why? 

Skam NL. S2 was definitely a journey and I didn’t like all of its aspects, but I just love the dynamics between the characters, the aesthetics, the music choices, the cinematography, and the characters are probably the closest to my heart out of all the remakes.

3. What is objectively the best remake and why?

Probably Druck. They have great actors, they make changes but still keep the main issues of every season, their have great music choices, their social media team is great and that’s just what comes into mind.

4. Opinions on each of the girl squads? 

SKAM NL - where do I even start??? I love each one of them soooooooo much. I love them all together even more. I don't even need anything, just give me scenes of then together and I'll be thrilled. (GIVE US A THIRD SEASON). Each girl is really her own character and they definitely stand out to me when compared to the other remakes.

SKAM ITALIA - I have a complicated relationship the squad. I love them but it feels like I’m watching a group of college girl. Silvia isn't a character that I like too much, though the actress is cute. I like Eleonora, but that's pretty much it. My favorites are probably Eva and Federica (I relate a lot to Fede because of her looks). They have a good dynamic, though not as much as the Italian boy squad. They maybe feel a bit less close in my opinion. Also, the writers always make me feel like Federica is only there to give them information on stuff and make a joke here and there, so if they would have put more thought and effort into her character maybe it’d feel like the squad is more,,, real if you will.

DRUCK - hi, I'm controversial on main. I... don't really care for them as a squad?? They're cute but I don't feel much of a connection to them (as a squad), or to their friendships. No idea why. I do find them interesting as individual characters, though and seeing them happy at the end of s3 was great. I'm definitely excited for s4.

SKAM FRANCE - s4 ruined them for me. I liked Emma in s1, Manon was always nice in my opinion, Daphne was getting on my good side in s3, Alexia has always been one of my favorites in this remake, and Imane is absolutely great. Then their friendship got ruined. But, if I'll ignore s4, they were a squad that I enjoyed watching and I really felt like each girl had her own thing, and that they were more of a group of random girls brought together than the og squad.

SKAM AUSTIN - I honestly love them more than I realize. Their friendship has a lot of growing to do, but I loved the scene when Grace confessed to them about Daniel's brother. Within the squad I probably like Jo's relationships the most, partly because she's my fave and partly because she just has a really loving heart. The other girls aren’t may favorites out of all the remakes but they have a warm corner in my heart.

SKAM ESPANA - They’re my Spanish babies. I love them and they just seem like this cute and cool girl squad. They’re not perfect and there are definitely things to come, no matter who’ll be the main of s3, but they love each other a lot and I think that they’ll grow together as individuals. 

WTFOCK - I'm not the best person to talk about this remake because I missed like half of s1, but whatever. They remind me a bit more of the og squad, and I love the friendships between Hanna and Zoë, and Zoë and Yasmina. I don't really like Luka, I can't really explain why but she doesn't really feel as part of the squad to me, and Amber is just okay. 

5. Favourite hairstyle out of all the remakes? (this includes any hijab styles of the Sanas)

I love Cris with her hair in a low ponytail, and I love the half up hairstyle that Skam NL uses a lot. When it comes to hijabs, so far my favorite was Sana’ s in the og’s s4 when it was a bit loose under her chin because it really fit her well.

6. Who do you think from og/remakes would have a youtube channel and what would they post about? (not including hei briskeby or lucas rubio’s yt channel)

Liv could totally have a music youtube channel because I feel like that’s realistic to starting musicians these days.

I can see the Italian boy squad having a youtube channel where they post vlogs and pranks lmao.

Sam could totally have a beauty channel where she does hauls and stuff.

Basile would have a youtube channel for pranks and magic tricks (idk why but I can really imagine him doing magic tricks????? lmao)

7. Pick someone you think is underappreciated from og/remakes and explain why you think they should be appreciated more.

Hmmmmmm another difficult question. I’m going to ignore the fact that I’m only supposed to mention one character.

The balloon squad - they’re honestly the most refreshing Muslim representation that I’ve come across because they’re just this bunch of dudes who run a hilarious youtube channel and love to have a good time. I love them SO MUCH and I wish we got an Elias season so we could get to know them better. Highkey my favorite boys from og Skam.

Federica - I probably talked about it enough times but she’s so underappreciated. The actress (Martina) is gorgeous and Federica is a ray of sunshine that the fandom tends to ignore. Also, I want to know how she knows so much about almost everything that’s happening in their school.

Shay - She’s definitely the most underrates Isak. Hopefully s3 will happen and she’ll be the main, so she’ll be more appreciated. Personally, I’m on the fence about how I feel about Shay, but I would watch the hell out of her season and getting more music from her, Marlon and Tyler would be amazing!

8. Favourite outfit/clothing item?

Isa’s green scarf, and honestly, any scarf/coat that the og girl squad wore because they always seemed fluffy, warm, comfortable and had pretty pastel colors.

9. Which character do you think is most similar to you?

Physically, it’s definitley Federica in terms of height and her and Hanna in terms of body size. Aside from that, the characters that I feel I'm most like are Hanna, Martino and s1 og Eva. The three of them are pretty simple, dare I say “””boring”””, and that’s how I see myself, lol. Also, Martino has this keeping things to himself things that he does and I relate to the hell out of that. Hanna has a really soft and nice vibe, which I think can be said about me haha.

10. Do you like the Eva season (season 1)?

Yes! The more remakes I started watching, the more I realized that I actually really like s1 because we get to see the girls becoming friends, and there are a lot of iconic scenes in s1 (Noora dragging William, the girl squad fighting with Chris’ girlfriend) and I learned to appreciate Eva’s journey to becoming her own person.

11. (Insert your own question that you’d like to answer!) Which representation do you think Skam should show other than the existing ones?

I don’t remember if I ever posted about this, but I would LOVE to see a Jewish character in one of the remakes. I think this idea can have so much potential (and I’m part Jewish so I’m biased) because there are really interesting things that could be discussed and shown - anti-Semitism from what I know is becoming more popular again and I’m always waiting to see if one of the remakes (especially Skam France, Skam Austin and Druck) will discuss it, and a Jewish character could have a really interesting relationships with the Sana character and they could have great conversations about the expectation from them and that judgement they get from people inside and outside of their religion.

My 11 questions:

If you could create an ultimate girl squad, who out of the skam universe would be in it and why?

If you could change one thing in each remake, what would it be?

What is one plotline that you wish to see in a remake of your choice? (go wild lol)

Which side character would you want to have their own season?

What do you wish the fandom would appreciate more in each remake? (could be a season, a character, a scene, anything)

If you could create a crossover between the og/one of the remakes and a movie/tv series/book, what would it be?

A crack ship that you wish would happen?

Is there a character that is very different from you/you never thought you would like, but you ended up loving?

What is your favorite friendship? 

Do you read any og/remakes fanfiction and if so, do you have any favorite fanfictions?

Would you have preferred if Skam worked a bit more like Skins did, in terms of every character gets a full episode from their pov instead of an entire season?

I’m tagging: @lonelyfridays , @matteohnah, @feelinsorad, @amystylezz, @eliottlallemant, @xxviii-xi-mcmxcviii, @lil-milkovich, @spockhasfeelingstoo, @miaundalex, @pampammmxum, @vnesshudgens, @promisethestraz but of course only if you want to and if anyone who’s not tagged wants to answer these consider yourself tagged!

[rebiirthday-a]

WIP Wishlist:

► OG interactions!!! A, L, Mello, Matt--gimme it all, dude. Before things went to shit, I 100% wanna build all their relationships from the bottom up

► Prison threads!!! Interactions with other inmates, no matter how fleeting. Interactions with prison staff like psychologists, guards, etc. Interactions with fans & visitors. A HUGE chunk of B’s life was spent in prison. There’s so much time to play with there

► Near!!! Gimme Near finding out that B’s been released from prison & them catching up or what have you

► Same with all the OG relationships; gimme AUs where not everyone is fuckin’ dead & they reunite with B after prison for whatever kind of relationship we decide on. There’s bouuuuund to be so much pent up anger & shit for what B did, & just the general relief of familiarity of seeing someone else from Wammy’s after all these years?? Yesssssss. 

► SHINIGAMI & THE PARANORMAL!!!! B has WACKY gifts out the wazoo that NEED to be explored. I have SO many Shinigami/B interaction headcanons that I am positively dying to dive into

► Classmates!! B undoubtedly goes back school after his prison release. Gimme hesitant & scared classmates that KNOW who tf B is. Give me clueless classmates that can’t get over the weird looks their other classmates give them when they interact with “That guy who spent like 20 years in prison because he killed like a dozen people.” On that note, give me wild ass rumors about B flying around campus. I am soooooooo here for that shit

► Post prison therapist!!! 100% going to be like B’s most important relationship & I would LOVE someone writing them. While I have mad heacanons for B’s in-prison therapist, his post prison therapist is a clean slate that we can create together which would be an absolute BLAST

► Employers!!! I have zero clue what profession B’s gonna go into after prison but despite being a multi millionaire thanks to daddy Wammy’s inheritance after he died, B needs something to keep him occupied that isn’t stalking & fixating on someone. So give me biased employers who don’t like him because he was a convict & shit. Give me employers that feel for him. Give me employers that are actually huge fans of the movie & ask him tons of questions

[apharaohinmyownright-blog]

and whatever we Do

10:11

Word of the day: “Solitudinarian - a person who seeks solitude; recluse”

I just downloaded 6 new free books, and I'm doing my research for the next book I’m going to buy, any recommendations of black authors ?  

9:37

I’m suffering from I wanted to write something and just forgot disorder. 

I have to go to the doctor next weekend or if I can't wait I’ll go this weekend. I have to see whats going on with my insurance first though. It’s my two toes on my left foot, idk what the hell is going on and stupidly its been like that for a while and I have done nothing to fix it. 

I want to apologize into all the people reading this, I thought I was posting to much and my posts were too long but If you want more I can definitely accommodate. 

I FOUND MY KEYS !

             I FOUND MY KEYS !

                         I FOUND MY KEYS !

Soooooooo I found three books I want/want to read for the month of April

1. Black, Gifted, and Gay 

2. A Thugs first Time 

3. Don’t call us Dead

Books 1 and 2 are fucking not on iBooks so I'm like fuck I don’t know where I’m going to read them, I might actually buy a physical book if one exists, I have to do more research. The 2nd book I just want to read for entertainment , I feel like it’s going to have a sex scene and I can't wait to read it! The 3rd book is the one I'm definitely going to read, the author is someone I focused on when I was in college and did speech so I know of him. It’s a collection of poems which he focuses on being gay, black and other things having to do with race and sexuality. 

I have not texted Gap or Syndrome back.

Flop still has not texted me back but I didn’t think he would.

I asked Banker yet gain on a date or when I’m going to see him (insert rolling eyes). I’m definitely waiting for that response. 

I’m trying to be turnt this weekend everyone so please excuse the possible shortness or craziness of my posts. 

I looked into the speed dating, yes I actually did and I don’t know, I’m thinking about it. It seems like a lot of work. Basically there is a price just for the speed dating ticket. That specifically said that the ticket didn't include dinner or drinks so I’m like you have to be low key rich to do one of these things I guess. But like I said i don't know yet I might just go ahead, suck it up and try something new. I will tell you that I don't get nervous for pretty much anything but this made me nervous. I’ll have to go by myself and meet who knows what kinda guys and like whats the etiquette for speed dating? 

They banned music at my job today, talking about if it’s not on the approved playlist it can’t be played and she's waiting for people to tell her songs to add to the playlist. PLEASE ! PLEASE ! PLEASE ! get out my face with that, y'all decisions and actions are dumb, all biased and you have your own personal vendetta. Never wanted to put someone more in they place than at this job. Boy , I have to get my mind right everyday. I’m going to make a playlist myself and share the shit with her or find a way to send it because dead ass though like I can't live without music, you taking that away is like not having any supplies to do any activities. Oh wait they never do have that, I forgot where i worked for a second. I have like a thousand and one ways to utilize the little space that we have and make it better accessible to all staff. But these rules be killing me and there is a new one every dam day that I never heard of. It’s one thing if the rule is from like the higher ups but know they just want something to say so I do the opposite I say nothing. Try and do my job to the best of my ability without being aggravated and keep it pushing. 

“Just keep swimming” right Dory ? Bitch, you have never lied. 

I need to contact all my god kids and they mothers, they have all seemed to disappear, hmmmmmmmmmm ?

What is my life about these days, what am I living for? , what’s my purpose? What am I supposed to be doing? In the grand scheme of things is it that serious? 

I really love my best friend, ya’ll don't understand. Our connection is like crazy. We don't even have to talk we just unknowingly be on the same kinda energy. Y'all need a real one like him. 

As I sit here and type this my mind is a thousand places and then none at the same time. So I’ll bump my J.Cole and live my life. 

“Being alone has a power that very few people can handle. I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.”

                                                               -Pharaoh 

[loavesofoaves]

Game of Thrones Episode 7.01 Review

Cut for Spoilers

Shall we begin?

This is the single line of dialogue Daenerys utters after an entire scene where nothing really happens except pretty music, breathtaking backgrounds, and setup to her return to her family home, Dragonstone. It also sums up an episode that on the surface has some promising stuff going in but is mostly filler.

Arya’s Revenge

Whelp, the leaks were real. After slitting Walder Frey’s throat at the end of season 6, Arya is still thirsty for blood and decides to poison the entire Frey clan (save presumably the women and children) at a feast while wearing Walder’s face. While it is exciting to see those responsible for the Red Wedding get what’s coming to them from the last Stark they expected, the scene feels unearned. First, Arya’s vendettas have always been against individuals and having her mass murder with poison (especially when ��Weasel Soup” was omitted from Season 2) just doesn’t seem her style. Two, because Arya’s Braavos arc was clumsily handled in the show, we never saw her learn how to wear others’ faces, so to have her imitate Walder Frey so flawlessly requires suspension of disbelief.  Third, while we know Arya has the motive for this murder, we have not seen the setup other than a quick scene at the end of the previous season. How long has she planned this out? Why did she take this detour when she stated to Jaqen in season 6 that she was a Stark and was going home? When did she find out offscreen that Robb’s wife had been pregnant? How long has she been masquerading as Walder? The whole thing just feels rushed, fanservice-y, and the classic D & D “creatively it made sense so we wanted it to happen.”

To top things off, we also get a scene of Arya running into a group of Lannister soldiers who offer her some rabbit and are shown to be presumably decent human beings. I could make some bullshit excuse and say the scene exists to create sympathy in Arya and question her judgments toward her enemies (especially with her fresh from murdering all the Freys, mirroring Sansa’s attitude that the children should be punished for the crimes of the whole family), but we have proof that this scene was added to give an Ed Sheeran cameo as a surprise for Maisie Williams, who is a known fan.

Da fuq.

This is a whole new level of pandering to actors low, even for D & D. I have nothing against Sheeran, or even the scene itself—it’s an OK scene—but my concern is that because this season has been condensed, this is not the most efficient use of screentime. Maybe the scene will have payoff in the future, but I just can’t help but feel like it was shoehorned in as an afterthought, especially with the thoughtless use of a song that is supposed to be about Tyrion and Shae.

Bran Arrives at the Wall

That’s it. That’s really all there is to say. Which is all well and good—I’d rather have the episode skimp on parts that don’t need to be fleshed out rather than add in unnecessary filler (which is why Bran’s storyline in the show is one of the least offensive. Less is sometimes more). We do get a nice long creepy vision of the Night’s Army, so that’s cool. I don’t really get why Bran’s psychic prowess and snooping on Edd’s life proves his identity, but there are better things to get annoyed about.

Jon Is That Kind of Feminist that Will Mansplain the Second You Disagree with Him

We see Jon, Sansa, and Davos addressing a crowd of Northern Lords at Winterfell.  Jon declares that both boys and girls must train for the upcoming war, and when one of the lords disagrees, Lyanna Mormont shuts him down by saying that she isn’t going to sit around knitting socks while there’s a war going on.

Well, excussssse me, princess, but you need warm fucking clothes to survive a winter war, so someone has to knit the fucking socks. Say it with me kids: FEMINISM DOES NOT MEAN DISSING TRADITIONALLY FEMININE ACTIVITIES.

But Jon does have a point: This is the war to end all wars and half the population should be able to defend themselves. And we do get a nice moment with Brienne feeling validated, so I’m totally here for that.

Next, there is a debate on what should be done to the Umber’s and Karstark’s lands. Sansa wants to give them away to more loyal houses, but Jon insists that the surviving children of the traitor lords who perished in the battle with the Boltons should not be punished for their fathers’ crimes. They argue as sketchy Littlefinger smirks and grinds up against a wall like he’s taking a really satisfying shit. Ew. Seriously, like, could you be any less subtle?

Book! Littlefinger is such a good villain because he’s charming and charismatic and he makes people want to believe him. But Show! Littlefinger continues to be a mustache-twirling charlatan whose time is clearly running out. Even Sansa is shooting him down and insulting him with witty zingers at this point. He will never be able to recover from D & D’s poor writing choices from Season 5, but hey, he’s supposed to be one of the final villains soooooooo…

Anyways, the Jon-Sansa argument feels manufactured, as it’s out-of-character for Sansa to speak up in a public setting like that (but then again, when has show! Sansa had consistent characterization?). We get a scene afterwards of Jon scolding Sansa for criticizing him in public (where’s your “I’m With Her” shirt now, Jon?), but she reassures him that she is just trying to look out for him so he doesn’t make the same mistakes as Ned or Robb. She also warns Jon that Cersei is just as big of a threat as the White Walkers, and interestingly, Jon says, “It sounds like you almost admire her.” While I don’t buy this “Is Sansa power-hungry?” subplot, I am all for a Sansa-Cersei showdown in the near future.

Speaking of…

Pirates of the Caribbean 6: Why Is Jaime Still Here?

Seriously. I’m not amused anymore. Even if you throw the books out the window, how does it make any narrative sense for Jaime to still be standing by Cersei? She did exactly the thing Jaime feared the Mad King would do—a man he killed knowing his reputation would forever be tarnished because of it. And last season’s finale seemed to suggest he was finally done, with his look of disapproval at Cersei when she ascended the throne.

But nope. Jaime is still here because D & D fucked up his character arc by sending him to Dorne and now they don’t know what to do with him after half-assing his Riverlands plotline. Sure, he’s a little ticked off that Cersei’s irresponsibility led to Tommen’s death, but that’s not a dealbreaker. He wants to talk about his feelings, but Cersei—who the show has repeatedly emphasized as loving her children—no longer gives any fucks. THIS is finally book! Cersei. A delusional woman who has no regard for loyalty or logic and only loves her children and Jaime as extensions of herself, she ignores basically everything Jaime has to say, furthering my query as to why the fuck he just doesn’t up and leave.

Well, I can foresee what might cause this eventual rift: a certain swaggy pirate. Frankly, show! Euron with his new wardrobe looks like my headcanon of Daario Naharis (sans the blue beard). But whatever, let’s roll with it. He has changed his tune and now wants to marry Cersei, not Daenerys, in order to get revenge on his niece and nephew. He offers her his fleet in exchange for her hand (while also making a joke about Jaime’s lack of two hands), but Cersei declines. Eurio Greyjaris, however, promises to come back with a gift to persuade her.

Now I am OK with Cersei and Euron becoming the big bad power couple, but this would be, ahem, more dramatically satisfying if D & D had actually bothered to develop Euron instead of, you know, DORNE.

Welcome to the Shitadel

In probably the most uncomfortable training montage ever, we see Samwell at his glorious unpaid internship at the Citadel cleaning up shit and serving bowls of something that looks like shit in rapid succession and retching—ugh, just thinking about it makes me want to barf. But hey, I’ll give credit where credit is due: This was an effective way to convey the passage of time and show, not tell, Sam’s hardships. Especially when Sam’s storyline has been skimped on and was in desperate need of some catching up.

The Citadel is also Hogwarts, because first-years are not allowed into the restricted section in the library and Slughorn is there (although I totally did not recognize him). Samwell asks Professor Slughorn if he can have permission to go to the restricted section because the world is basically going to end if no one reads up on those white walkers, and Slughorn promptly tells him that Climate Change is a hoax invented by Dorne. Thus, Sam steals the books and looks over them with Gilly and toddler Sam, who has finally aged accordingly.

Oh, and Sam realizes he should tell Jon about all the dragonglass at Dragonstone even though Stannis already did several seasons ago?

Oh, and also Jorah is there dramatically thrusting his rock arm out and rotting away in a cell.

And Finally Some Progress: The Gravedigger

So I am biased because I am a Sandor Clegane stans, but damn it, it is nice to see him get the screentime he deserves for once. We find the Hound traveling north (although this is in the Riverlands, and it wasn’t snowing at the Twins where Arya was but fuck geography!) with Beric Dondarrion and Thoros of Myr. They stumble upon the house he robbed in Season 4, and just as he predicted, the kind father and daughter he screwed over have died. Finally coming to terms with his actions, Sandor shows remorse and buries their bodies, noting that they deserved better.

There’s also a fair amount of banter with Beric and Thoros here, which is good, because it looks like we’re going to be seeing more of them. After dissing Thoros’s man bun, he asks him why he’s so grumpy and the Hound responds, “Experience.”

Same.

Sandor asks Beric why he’s still alive when there’s nothing special about him (because there’s no Lady Stoneheart for him to die for) and then Thoros has the Hound look into the flames and instead of coming back with a zinger, Sandor does indeed see what looks to be the vision of the walkers we saw earlier in the episode and…a mountain…

~airhorn sounds in the distance~

CALM DOWN IT’S NOT TIME FOR CLEGANEBOWL YET.

They do seem to be headed for Eastwatch by the Sea, which is also where Tormund is going…hmmmmm…

What’s the deal with Dragonstone?

And finally, we get Team Targaryen landing at Dragonstone, which has conveniently been deserted by Team Stannis after being so disappointed by how he was handled in Season 5 that they couldn’t even anymore.

And….that’s the end of the episode. I wouldn’t mind, as the music and visuals for the scene almost make up for the lack of dialogue, but god damn deadpan Daenerys just isn’t showing the emotion this scene deserves. I just don’t feel the significance of Dragonstone here, so perhaps maybe this scene could’ve benefited from some dialogue.

And hell, I just realized Ed Sheeran had more lines than Peter Dinklage in this episode. Let that sink in.

Overall

This episode was OK. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad either. I thought we got some much-needed coverage of the Hound’s and Sam’s plotlines while also covering the usual bases. Barring the cold open massacre (which as I said before, was purely fanservice), it was a very standard first episode of the season, and a yearlong+ hiatus was not going to change that. But the problem with that is that this is a shorter season than usual, so we shall see if things from here on out have problems with pacing, which, based on past experience, they probably will be.

5/10

And a confession: This Tormund hitting on Brienne thing is getting old. It was funny the first few times, but now it just makes him look like a creep who won’t take “no” for an answer. We haven’t seen any real character development for this guy in a while; I’m hoping his detour to Eastwatch will give him something to do.