#and Gil is a boyfriend extraordinaire

[softquietsteadylove]

Hii love, how are you doing?

I had this little idea for the Mermaid Au:

What if gil and thena have been out all day and when they are heading back home, thena is too tired to keep using her legs and just colapses getting her tail back on so gil has to carry her all the way home. She is a little embarrassed about it but gil being the perfect boyfriend that he is comforts her and takes care of her.

Have a good day!! 🩷🤍

"Angelfish?"

Thena startled, catching her eyes drooping again. They'd had a wonderful day out, meeting Sersi for lunch, going to the mall with her to shop for clothes, then going to the market to get more fun things, like food. It was a fun day but she couldn't say she wasn't exhausted.

"Hey," Gil said more softly, turning to her and stopping despite the many, many bags in his hands. "You okay?"

She smiled at him, flashing her teeth, "of course!"

Gil smiled at her too, although his eyes dashed down just for a second. "Put those away, sweetie. We're almost home."

Thena ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth. Her fangs were poking out. She was losing her careful touch. "It was fun--being out with Sersi."

If Gil thought her behaviour was odd he kept it to himself. He shifted the bags so he could hold her hand. "It was, huh?"

"She found quite a lot of treasures," Thena denoted, glancing down at the many bags Gil was carrying. Sersi had insisted he carry them all.

"Yeah, Sersi's always wanted a sister to go out and do girl stuff with, like shopping and getting her hair done," Gil chuckled. "Even if I offered, she didn't wanna go shopping with her big brother. Not the same, y'know?"

She didn't. But Thena smiled; there did seem to be an interesting mentality to the activity of 'shopping', much like pack hunting. There was a bond, a pack mentality of a shared goal and a group satisfaction when treasure was found.

"Are you okay?" he asked her again, even leaning slightly to look into her eyes despite their difference in height. "She didn't tire you out?"

She had, but she wouldn't trade the fun they'd had for it. "No! Hunting with Sersi was quite enjoyable. It felt like when Kari and I would go looking for pearls."

Gil always enjoyed when she used imagery from her life back home. "I guess it would be like that."

They lapsed into silence again. Thena yawned, getting a taste of the salty air as they got closer to the water. She longed to slither into bed with Gil and have him massage the spot where her gills would be.

"Angelfish?...Thena!"

She blinked, wobbling on her feet and drifting into him.

Gil reacted, dropping any bags not dangling from his wrist and steadying her against him. "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

She tried to reply, but she just blinked, feeling tongue-tied. She tried to get her feet under her again but she kept stumbling. "Gil?"

"Okay, okay, it's okay," he whispered as he brought them down lower. His head swivelled around until he gathered the bags and pulled her tighter. "Just a sec, Angelfish, it's okay."

Thena clung to him as he awkwardly shuffled them away from the sidewalk and onto the grass by a bench. They were lucky that they had parked Titania closer to the less used docks. Her eyes bulged, "Gil!"

"I know, sweetie, I know," he whispered to her, kissing her temple as he got her seated on the bench.

Thena gripped the back of it, watching her legs come together and scales erupt down the length of them again. Her tail reformed in front of her very eyes. It was a newfound, human reflex, but her hands went to tug at the hem of her dress (not that it mattered now).

Gil got her tail situated, as well as their many bags as he sat down next to her. He placed his hand on the shimmering scales of her tail, "you okay?"

Thena stared at her fins, blushing terribly. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," he grinned, but that wasn't helping. He ran his palm over her scales, "you've had a long day. Maybe your body felt your feet hurting and your tail decided to take over."

Thena grumbled within her throat. She touched a hand to her neck--her gills were emerging, too. "I understand the word 'humiliating' better, now."

Gil leaned over, kissing her cheek. "Come on, it's not that bad."

She gave him a look, flopping her tail limply as it was laid over his lap. If they were at home cuddling this would be one thing, but they were out in broad daylight.

"Okay, it's not ideal," he amended, still smiling though. He continued to admire her scales, petting her tail the way she'd seen people pet cats or dogs. She flicked the end of it. "I like seeing your tail."

Her blush wasn't getting any better. "You can't flatter the problem away."

"Maybe not," he shrugged. "So I have to carry you home, so what?"

It was embarrassing, that was what--like being a guppy and injuring your fin and having to one-sidedly paddle home.

"What if someone sees?" she mumbled, pulling her cardigan tighter around herself.

"Maybe they'll just think I'm carrying home my lovely girlfriend," Gil suggested so easily. It was a far cry from the man terrified of letting her walk around in public just a year ago. "My mate, I guess. And she's got on such a pretty, sparkly dress."

Thena sighed, letting him adjust his hold on her and scoot her more into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck instinctively. "Will people believe that?"

"Does it matter?"

Thena let him pile some of the bags in her lap and grasp the rest. Then he picked her up, carrying her tail the way he would her bent legs and behind her back. At least she wasn't slipping out of his grasp.

"Here we go," Gil grunted as he adjusted her weight and the load of their bounty. "Ready?"

Thena declined to answer, choosing to bury her face in the side of his neck. The bounce of his chest against her told her he was still finding this all rather humorous.

"Y'know, the first time I held you to get you out of the water," he began during their short but significantly slower trip back to the beach. "I thought 'wow, she's so light'. And then I realised how tight I had to hold you and, uh, I tried not to think about the rest."

"Hm," she mused, still preferring the refuge of hiding herself away.

"You were warmer than I thought you would be," he continued, regardless of her embarrassment. "Holding your tail is harder than holding onto legs. But it's not like it's totally unstructured either."

"Is that so?" she asked mostly just to say something. She eyed her tail, uselessly flopping over the edge of his arm.

"I can't carry you on my back like this, but we have a name for this method."

"For what?" she lifted her head to look at him. He had that grin on his face that he got when he was about to teach her something about human life.

"Holding someone--carrying them like this," he indicated, bouncing her a little despite the crinkling of the bags. "It's called the bridal carry."

"What's that?"

Gilgamesh looked at her, his eyes soft and warm. "It's for, uh, mates. It's not that only mates do this, but the original name for it means...something pretty significant."

She still didn't understand what he was really talking about. But he had that look on his face that made her insides feel like a school of minnows. She blinked a few times, resisting the urge to clamp down on his neck and declare him hers. Humans didn't do that kind of thing to lay claim to their mates.

"What I'm saying is I'm happy to carry you, Angelfish," he clarified, continuing down the hill. The beach came into view, "we're almost there."

She kept her thoughts to herself. Gil was right, they were mates. She had no reason to find him helping her so terrible. She would do the same for him if he were injured. She opted not to sink her teeth into his shoulder; humans had more gentle ways of affection.

Gil smiled as she pressed her lips to his cheek and the faint rumble of her purring started. "I've got you, Angelfish."

He had her for all her life, if only he knew.

[literatikoo]

Lane Kim deserved better

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I would only write Lane Kim meta when I am very very angry because I need to be powered by spite and petty energy to unravel exactly how much of a disservice this show was to Lane and by extension any Asian kid with a similar life. And, well, it's happening now, so buckle up kids, this is going to be a loooong ride because I have a lot to say.

Before we start on the negative aspects, the show got a lot of things about Lane right, which is why I care so much about her character. Yes, ASP obviously didn't know how to write a POC experience and it's seen in the way some very harmful stereotypes were propagated (the tiger mom trope, Mrs Kim's religious beliefs, the depiction of the Kim extended family etc) but at the same time Lane was beautifully written as a character, unlike her plot which left much to be desired. Lane Kim was an Asian girl with rock n roll dreams who had an extremely fraught relationship with her mother and had to fight for even a semblance of independence. And I hate to say it but a lot of daughters of Asian households are forced to hide a part of themselves from their families, so Lane's story was authentic.

Not only was Lane amazing as an individual, she was also a great friend. She was the only one who was really in Rory's corner; she never judged her and supported all of Rory's relationships (my favourite example of this is when she barely tolerated Jess in S2/3 and then did a complete 180 like 5 episodes later, all because Rory decided to finally accept she liked him). Lane never pointed out what Rory was doing wrong not because she was afraid of doing so but because the two of them had been friends for years and Lane believed that Rory would figure it out one day. Lane shows this unconditional kindness not only to Rory but to everyone. She takes in her Korean cousin and teaches her to have fun even when she's afraid that Mrs Kim has replaced her, she lets Gil be in the band because she empathises with him, she takes care of the band and prevents it from breaking up multiple times. And these are only a few examples of Lane being the kindest character on GG.

One of the best things in Gilmore Girls is that the most unproblematic, amazing guy is given to Lane. Dave Rygalski is the best love interest on the show hands down (Sorry to my boy Jess but Dave was LEAGUES ahead of him at 17) and Lane definitely deserved someone like that. Their story was adorable and I would have loved for them to be endgame. However, what grates me is that when I see people talking about Lane "deserving better," it's usually about Dave vs Zach. When Lane actually deserved better as a WHOLE and not only in terms of love interests. I always thought it made more sense for her to end up alone at the end of the og series. Because Lane was a person who craved independence and she was not going to get that while tied to some guy (even if that guy is boyfriend extraordinaire, Dave Rygalski). It's even worse when we see that Lane is the only female character on the show to be treated this way. Rory rejects marriage for her career while Lane ends up with marriage as her storyline. Lorelai and Luke get back together but their relationship is still left open ended, though arguably it would've made more sense if they got married when Lane and Zach did. Paris gets into Harvard Medical school and gets a great relationship, similarly Sookie gets the family she wanted and continues to be amazing at her job. But Lane... god Lane is the only one without an open ending, without any space for speculation of where her life might lead her. Not only did they marry her off, they also gave her a terrible first time and twins, effectively locking her to Stars Hollow. The show even cut down all hope of her being a rock n roll mom as one of her S7 storylines is choosing the kids over going on tour with Zach. She doesn't get to be her own person for more than ONE season; she's stuck with being a daughter and then a wife and then a mother.

Something else that angers me about Lane's storyline is that we never really get to see how badly her relationship with her mom affects her. Don't get me wrong, I adore Mrs Kim's redemption arc and I think it was beautifully juxtaposed to Lorelai and Rory's crumbling relationship, but having a mother like that is hard. Not only did Lane have to hide 90% of her personality from Mrs Kim but she also lived with the fact that one day she might have to choose between her dreams and her mother. In the end, Mrs Kim makes that choice for her and deals with it by kicking Lane out in S4, and yet we never really see how that negatively affects Lane. Hell, Jess acts like a broody teen for two seasons, Rory wastes six months of her life away at the DAR and they both come out of it successfully. Lane gets kicked out, figures out her own living conditions, gets a job, works insanely hard for her band and... ends up having to give her dreams up completely.

Lane and Paris shared a lot of similarities too, even if they both had different friendships with Rory. They both came from terrible families and looked to Lorelai as a mother figure, they both cared deeply for Rory, and they were both incredibly passionate about their careers. Paris made calendars and flashcards and went crazy studying for both pre med and pre law. Lane was a walking, talking music encyclopaedia, she bought CDs obsessively and organised them by genre under her floorboards, she taught herself to play the drums and then found a band to play for. And yet... only Paris becomes successful in the end, whereas Lane takes over Kim's antiques. Lane was still a musician in AYITL and she can be rock n roll even with kids but this is all hypothetical and we never see it on the show.

There is a lot of terrible, lazy writing on the show and a lot of characters get ruined because of it but with Lane, her character stays the same, they just ruin everything else for her. I think she'll be an amazing mom and will probably make her best out of doing music casually. But the writers also took something so special and destroyed it just because Lane stopped being as important to the plot as she was in seasons 1-3. Lane and Rory drifting a little after Rory leaves for Yale makes perfect sense, that's just how relationships are, always changing. And yet as Lane's importance to Rory decreased so did her importance to the writers.

Lane wasn't the kind of character that needed character development or a redeeming character arc- she was never a bad person and nothing about her had to be fixed, unlike Jess or even Paris. All she really needed was for her dreams to come true because for the first 4 seasons her dreams were the biggest fixture of her personality. Like how Jess needed to overcome his trauma and Rory needed to figure out where she fit in and Paris needed to become a girlboss, Lane needed to realise her dreams because that's where her arc was leading her. But it just didn't happen. Instead, Lane becomes 2-dimensional; a large part of her screentime is taken up by Zach problems, her dreams fall flat and she becomes tied to Stars Hollow for the rest of her life. Not to mention we see less of Lane in favour of Logan and the dickhead posse.

This is not me hating on all the other characters I've mentioned in this meta, I'm just pointing out the lack of respect the writers have for Lane in comparison to all these other people who fulfilled the role they were made for. Why would you write Lane to have all these dreams and make her struggle so hard for 4 seasons just to smash them to pieces? And why is it that one of the only POC characters on this show is treated like this?

And you can't tell me the writers didn't know what they were doing, not when this is a direct quote from Lane in S7:

"It was such a small window -- a peephole, really. For years, I was this repressed kid, and then there was the briefest of windows. And then -- slam. All of a sudden, I'm this overburdened mother. I barely got to do it, Zach. I barely got the chance to be a person."

[phoenixyfriend]

The “Momma Sturmvoraus was Literally Satan” AU

As requested by @spazzbot​. This AU was initially brainstormed on the GG fanworks server almost a year ago. Specifically, on the first day of 2020.

[ID: a truncated discord message by “Miss Nixy, Gay for RoboLadies” posted 01/01/2020. The message reads “I need to sleep but please for the moment consider:” and ends there.]

So. Let’s get to it.

Satan took a human form because why not see what's going on topside, live like a human, and “Oh shit is this pregnancy? This is pregnancy. Fuck, that's a tiny human. Which is now half demon. Am I supposed to take care it? Wonder if retconing this form into that Valois family was a bad idea. They do have SO much money though, I get to live like a queen. I suppose another child shouldn't hurt, it wasn't that bad. Oh, he's cute, this is actually making sense, why humans do all the sinning. Not counting dear Aaronev's murders, of course, those are just evil, but I did search out the worst of the humans to pair myself to...”

This is literally just "Tarvek and Anevka's mom was low-key Satan on a bored “let's be human for a decade or two to see what happens” jaunt, consequences happen because these kids are LITERALLY half-demon and arguably anti-Christs."

Also it's just Very Funny for Tarvek, ineffectual sexy lamp fashion twunk extraordinaire, to be an antichrist

Jeff thinks he’s pretty. Jeff keeps describing features that don’t entirely make sense. (Jeff’s canon name is Karl Thotep but they spent so long unnamed that the server collectively named them Jeff.)

This is not a crossover with anything, btw. Ambiguously Pop Culture Satan just got bored and went to have babies with a serial killer.

They’re just kids! That are vaguely demonic. So. Moreso than the rest of the Valois.

Sometimes "mom" comes back from the dead and visits Anevka and Tarvek to impart Wisdom and possibly magic lessons The rooms always smell faintly of sulfur after that...

They try to put Anevka in the machine but SHE isn't hurt and the MACHINE just melts

So that's the end of that.

It's very awkward for everyone, but the paperwork isn't too bad. It's very easy to write "incidental fire began during late-fugue experimentation, resulted in fire spreading through six rooms and several casualties, including Prince Aaronev Wilhelm Sturmvoraus."

As per @atagotiak​, “I feel like if we’re going in any way dimensional weirdness with thing, Tarvek got so good at exploring bc he could just clip through walls.”

With image provided by @thisarenotarealblog​:

Tarvek in Paris: My dead mother keeps showing up in my dreams to tell me I need to seduce my way out of my problems and also she looks like Satan. Tarvek's Voltaire-Appointed Therapist: I still don't know what that means. Just like the last five times. Tarvek: I keep telling her that I can’t seduce Colette, if seduction is that important she should get Anevka to do it.

Like he probably wouldn’t say most of that in front of any Voltaire-approved individual, but still.

Tarvek is still very good at self control but there's a Special Edge to his rants.

(Derailed in the moment to me thinking about Anevka in a sfw-but-concerningly-deadly succubus getup, because... yeah.)

Aaronev dies and goes to hell and his dead wife is just there like "hi! Time to be tortured for eternity!" He wasn't a good husband so. He can't exactly sentimentalize his way out.

“In the sexy way?” “... not for you, no.”

Mostly I just want the BULLSHIT that is "Storm Mom was actually just Satan getting bored and going on vacation as a retconned Valois girl, the kids are half-demons and sometimes it Shows."

To clarify: the Satan bit isn't the retcon. Grandma used to have one daughter. Now there are two. (Seffie and Martellus's mother doesn't remember being an only child, but sometimes...)

Satan retconned a new daughter in, which included a Valid Valois Venusian Vestment, so the blood tests play out.

The subtle signs of wrongness would be fun too. Anevka tends to smile a bit too wide and sharp for a human face. Inexplicable uneasiness, here you can’t point at any specific thing that’s wrong but it’s uncomfortable. Uncanny valley prettiness, almost like the porcelain she became in other timelines. Skin isn’t supposed to be that smooth.

My brain's pre-nap contribution at that point was "Satan's pronouns when not pretending to Human are sin/sinself" which is! Certainly a thing.

Tarvek, at some nebulous future point: I mean, your ancestors were monsters, but my dad was a serial killer and my mom was literally Satan, instead of just figuratively like Lucrezia, so. I mean. I kind of get what you're going through.

Per @firebirdeternal: Tarvek and Anevka growing up with "you're allergic to holy water" and not questioning it until a little later because What.

And then they test it and it's like "yeah, no, there's a rash now. That stung. What the fuck."

It INFURIATES Gil in Paris when Tarvek tells him that's a thing, because there's nothing chemically different about Holy water and regular water. But no, this is somehow happening.

It gets logged in medical journals as a Valois genetic thing because, well, Mom was like that too, right?

One time they both go into a church for an Adventure and Gil is very annoyed to find that Tarvek is like. Faintly smoking. It smells like burnt hair in here.

Gil: What smells like burnt hairgel? Tarvek: [glares]

Gil decides that it must be something particular to the church, like a fungus or something in the stone, contaminating the air and water so it only LOOKS like the holiness is what's setting off reactions.

It is not.

Tarvek once got into an argument with someone and ate a slab of raw, completely uncooked meat as a power move.

SVV seems to work perfectly. Everyone is fine. We get the ‘you fight like ducks’ moment.

And then Tarvek bursts into flames, and everyone panics because no they fixed this what the fuck is he still infected with Hogfarb’s oh my god... and then everything settles down and he's perfectly fine. Not a scratch on him, no longer turning funny colors. Completely unharmed. He's in a nicely tailored suit and looks faintly stunned

"I just met my dead mom, who's apparently Satan. She told me that after I died the first time just now, I should be harder to kill later, especially with fire, because now there's more demon and less mortal and guys I think I'm going crazy." "Is that a martini?" Tarvek looks down. "Apparently."

Tarvek starts just. Randomly setting things on fire by glaring too hard and has to tone it down. Meanwhile, Agatha and Gil are having crises about how he's somehow getting PRETTIER.

Is he faintly glowing? Maybe!

Gil handles it by angrily sniping at Tarvek about how of COURSE he's an evil little rat with a background like that.

Tarvek just wants a nap and to forget this ever happened. Many people are sworn to secrecy. It's very awkward.

Still, SVV did something, for handwave-y reasons, and so they're linked now. Gil and Agatha both getting tiny flashes of the same shenanigans.

They get none of the powers. They just keep getting Weird Shit.

Other characters with divine influence are like "Did you.... did you make a pact with a demon?" "What no that's our boyfriend."

Tho tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if a Heterodyne did sign a contract with a demon at some point in exchange for like. Materials. A hundred souls sacrificed in exchange for some succubus blood. Thanks!

Tarvek and Othar: Falling out of CW as in canon. Tarvek: WHAT THE HELL SINCE WHEN DO I HAVE WINGS HIDE THIS BEFORE I GET BOOTED FROM THE LINE FOR THE THRONE

IDK where Anevka is during all this. I think she might have decided to go sleep her way through the courts of the Ice Tsars. Vacation, y'know?

Othar after he's decided to make Tarvek his new Heroic Apprentice: AH, my poor afflicted young friend, it's noble of you to go against the dark nature of your tragic heritage like this. Tarvek: I hate you. I wish I could hate you to death. But you have a point. I shouldn't let my father's blood limit what I strive for in life. Othar: I... I thought your mother was... Tarvek: I know what I said.

Tarvek: Also you can't tell ANYONE about that, I can't have them thinking I'm not actually in line for the Storm King's throne.

He does admittedly have to like. Explain things to Grandma.

Terabithia is Tarvek’s maternal grandmother so this is supremely awkward. That said...

Grandma fondly remembers her pregnancy cravings; bone marrow and sulfur.

"Yeah so, my mother, your daughter, was... maybe actually Satan? But retconned into your life?" "Tarvek, darling, please. I figured that out half a century ago."

TARVEK ACCIDENTALLY FINDS HIM HIMSELF WEIRDLY INTENSE AT CONTRACTS

I mean that honestly just Tracks about Tarvek anyways? But like moreso.

He just. Writes something up and there's things getting signed or shook on and then the person tries to break the contract and either suddenly catch fire or are deeply unlucky for a set amount of time.

And Tarvek's just standing there like "how in the FUCK did I do that?"

Severity of infernal punishment depends on the severity of the breach of contract.

Tarvek finds out that Anevka's been convincing rich people to sign their souls over to her. It's a fun challenge. She keeps them in jars.

They can still remotely pilot their bodies but like. They can't TELL anyone what happened.

Satan: I'm going to go make babies and now everyone else has to deal with the consequences.

Anevka's living up to that whole "princess of hell" vibe. Tarvek's just like "nope nope nope I want the storm throne, not the hell throne, BYE MOM."

Satan's just feeling sinself down in hell like "awwww look at my babies go, aren't they adorable?"

Tarvek: Anevka, what... first off, how did you figure it out? Anevka: Well, I temporarily died when father put me in the machine, and... I can't say that hell kicked me out because they were afraid I'd take over, but mother DID say she'd rather I play about with human governments instead of Hell's. Tarvek: Okay, cool cool cool. What after you planning to DO with all these souls? Anevka: They make for some lovely reading lamps, don't they?

(Anevka absolutely sets herself the goal of acquiring new titles that rival her old ones, or even surpass them. She just black widows her way through Europa.)

I just want someone (probably Snackleford) to ascend, take one look at Tarvek, and run SCREAMING.

Tarvek still needed to be anchored to Higgs, because Tarvek is Baby.

Gil is eventually in a relationship with an Eternal God Queen and the Literal Son of Satan.

Family dinners can include ALL the in-laws if you duck down to hell! - You borrow Bill from... probably heaven, maybe purgatory. - You have Lu and Aaronev and Satan already there, though the first two... well. Aaronev and Lu get invited to dinner but they have to eat by themselves at the kiddy table and nobody talks to them or acknowledges their presence. After all, this is hell, and what better punishment for Lu than to be completely ignored, and for Aaronev to see Lu at her worst and be reminded that he gave everything for this horrible, horrible person who isn't even pretending to care about him anymore. - Zanta and Klaus get invited via portal. - Anevka saunters in with a blood-soaked dress and a complaint about militant demon-hunters refusing to let her go shopping for a new pair of shoes. - Zeetha tagged along with the OT3. (She can't wait to see this situation explode.)

Oh God, Satan is actually second place as far as good parenting goes.

Well, actually, fourth. Because Adam and Lilith. But second as far as bio parents go. 1. Zanta 2. Satan 3. Klaus 4/5. Lu and Aaronev N/A. Bill

Someone (Anevka) decides to stir the pot and invites Von Pinn, Terabithia, Bang.

Bang is basically Gil’s older sister, right? Right.

This is Zanta meeting Bang for the first time! Zanta is just: "It's so nice to meet my husband's adopted daughter." Klaus freezes. Bang freezes. Gil is the only one who is just. "Yeah." Meanwhile Zeetha is crying with laughter off to the side because both of them deserve this. (Zanta would legit love Bang though.)

Agatha: Tarvek, I think DuPree is-- Tarvek: Hitting on my sister? I know. Agatha: On your mom, actually. Tarvek: NO!

Also I do love the idea of like. Nobody tells Bang they're inviting her. She just wakes up in Hell like. "Ah. Yes. Fair enough."

Satan: Oh no no no my dear, you're here as a guest. Besides as well as you'd fit you're not one of mine, you've got other things waiting for you. Bang: Okay, but I love the decor. And is that Cheesecake?

Bang’s family has their own evil god in the novels, but! Bang DID pick on Tarvek a lot in Paris. Satan cares more than Anevka does. Bang might get the sexy punishment.

I feel like the fact that no permanent damage was done and it taught Tarvek a lot of things means Satan isn't gonna be all that upset about it.

And let's be real, if there's a character in GG who could look the literal Christian devil in the eye and be like "Yeah I tortured your kid, what're you going to do about it?" it's Bang.

Even Satan doesn't know what to do or think about Othar.

He sure is here! As Anevka’s arm candy! Nobody knows what to do except Anevka herself, who just wants to be Smug.

(What's that scene from Phineas and Ferb that's the mad scientist trapping the platypus within the rules of polite dining at a fine restaurant? Like he can't make a scene because that would be rude?) (That. Othar would dearly love to start a fight, but it's a Family Dinner. You're only allowed to fight verbally at those.)

(Othar isn't even fighting Satan, he just wants to argue with Klaus.) (And maybe fanboy in Bill's direction a bit).

[ao3feed-yurionice]

My Boyfriend, the Sex Demon

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DPU8Bf

by GeekMom13

Yuri, demi-demon extraordinaire, feels it’s time for his boyfriend to meet his family.

Day Two: Rare Pairs

Words: 4277, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 2 of Yuri Plisetsky Week 2018

Fandoms: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Relationships: Lee Seung Gil/Yuri Plisetsky

Additional Tags: Crack, Demons, Demon Crack, Cherry Lube, body manipulation, Light BDSM, Did I mention crack yet?

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2DPU8Bf

[softquietsteadylove]

Would you continue the president au one? Something sweet maybe?

"The President's day is bifurcated between the office and time for herself in privacy," Gilgamesh told the reporters eagerly trying to worm their way inside. "There is no security surveillance, no wire tapping. The home of Madam President must remain unpolitical so as to separate the person from the job and her obligation to the people. This is all public record."

"But sir, the people have questions!" the reporter wailed at him as security started pushing the crowd back. "The last president had an unprecedented amount of 'private time' and it turned out he was-"

"A mistake," Gil cut in harshly, effectively stopping that train of thought. "And one we won't make again. Now, I am going to briefing, Chief of Communications Sersi is going to be here to address the day's business shortly--excuse me."

Gil pressed his back to the doors as soon as he was inside. They always 'tipped off' the press when he was going to be entering the household, so no one could become too suspicious of it. It was true that the actual residence in the house and office was completely off limits to foreign clearance, press, they didn't have security cameras in it, nothing.

But damn, he was just trying to see his own girlfriend.

Gil unbuttoned his coat and walked into the home part of the house. He was well familiar with it, even with how careful they were not to betray the nature of their relationship. "Thena?"

She was in the kitchen.

"Hey," she greeted him with a smile, putting together a sandwich for herself. She was rid of her pantsuit and even had her hair down.

"Hey," he whispered, kissing her with a hand in her silken blonde hair. He pressed his nose to her cheek, "gonna cut that in half for me, or what?"

"I could say no, but you cooked everything else in that fridge," she snorted. There was another fridge for the food prepared for her by the house chef, of course, but this one was her personal one, for her personal use, in her personal kitchen.

Effectively Gil's kitchen, since she couldn't be trusted to make a grilled cheese without security thinking there was a threat in the residence.

"How was it out there?" she asked as she held up half the sandwich for him, trading kisses between bites.

"Media's a little worked up because of your week off, which we knew they would be," he shrugged, undoing his tie as well. Thena took the liberty of undoing his first few shirt buttons. "Sersi and Kingo will handle it."

"Okay," Thena murmured, unable to do much else in the moment. She leaned against him.

"Hey," he chuckled, rubbing her back while she was wearing his Secret Service hoodie from his time in security. "You have a week off. It's for your mental health--to not be worried, okay?"

"Do I seem capable of relaxing?"

Gil kissed her forehead, then her cheek, then tilted her chin so he could get her lips, "I think I know how to relax you."

"Oh you do, do you?" she smiled into the kiss, happily letting him lead her into the small frenzy of affection. She sighed, "I miss you."

"I'm right here," he whispered.

"You know what I mean."

"I do," he nodded before taking another bite of sandwich, "and I'm still here anyway."

Thena accepted another bite too.

"We're here, we're okay," he assured her as best he could while they stole their time together.

It was only recently they were able to start bringing him into the residence without suspicion from the inside forces, let alone the media and public. Even as her assistant, there was only so much time he could spend in her home before it became questionable.

"Some anniversary," she whispered, tucking her head under his chin. "I'm sorry, Gil."

"None of that," he rubbed her arm, resting his cheek against her hair, "You know I'm happy so long as I'm with you. And we knew this would come--that it wouldn't be easy."

"Still," she sighed a little more impatiently. "I'm supposedly the most powerful person in the country and I can't even get you a damn present without half the world knowing?"

"What would you get me?" he raised an eyebrow, finishing off the last tiny bite of the sandwich and licking his fingers. "I have everything I need right here."

Thena rolled her eyes as he kissed her cheek, "I'm serious, Gil."

"So am I."

She patted his chest, "well, it seems negligent to not get you anything at all."

"Well," he shrugged, "what if I didn't get you anything either?"

Thena shook her head though, giving his side a pinch before seating herself at the table. "I know for a fact that you did. And even if you hadn't, you got me this week off. That's...more than I can fathom."

Gil smiled at her though, also sitting at the table across from her, like they could be a normal couple in a normal house. "Sweetheart, I don't need anything from you because the fact that I can still be with you even after everything that happened last year?--that's my gift. And I don't want to take that for granted."

She gave him that soft, glassy eyed look that meant that she was wallowing in her guilt.

He reached over for her hands, "do you remember what we were doing this time last year?"

She rolled her eyes ever so fondly at him as she let him give each and every one of her fingers an affectionate little squeeze. "I was still vice at the time, you were my dedicated SS. I could still go home at the end of the day and you could sneak in dressed as a delivery guy."

He grinned at her, "and I did deliver every time, didn't I?"

She rolled her eyes at him for real this time, "Gilgamesh."

"And?" he prompted her.

She sighed, looking down at their hands, "and you told me that the dates in my living room with pizza and wings and cheap wine were dates--real dates."

"Because?"

She pursed her lips at him, not thrilled at being led like a fawn. She huffed, "because it was a date and it was with me and that was all you wanted."

Gil beamed at her with a laugh. "God, I'm such a good boyfriend."

"Stop it," she groaned, trying to lean away and pull her hands back to her.

He held on though, determined to keep her with him in the moment. He tilted his head to look at her, "that's still true, Thena. I don't care if I'm sneaking a burger and fries into your room between press briefings or we're at a diplomatic dinner. I wanna be with you. That's all."

Thena sighed, blinking in such a way that he knew she was trying not to cry. She shook her head, "you are a good boyfriend, much to my dismay."

He grinned; that was her way of saying that she loved him. He chuckled, "I love you, too, sweetie."

She let him stand and kiss her hair on the way to the fridge.

"So," he said more loudly and upbeat, "what to have for a real anniversary meal?"

Thena turned in her seat to look at him. On the one hand, he wanted to make their meals for the two of them. And on the other hand, she also couldn't ask the resident chef to make two servings of a gorgeous meal for her alone.

Well, she could, and no official questions would be asked. Risky, though.

"What do you feel like?" he asked as he rolled up his sleeves. He could change into something more comfortable after he was done with their dinner.

Thena smiled at him, hair over her shoulder, curled up in her chair in a ball. She looked sweet. "Pasta?"

He had onions, carrots, celery, herbs, leeks, tomatoes... "I think I can pull that off."

She stood from the chair and came over to him, sliding her lithe little arms around him from behind and pressing her face to his shoulder, "thank you, Gil."

He looked down and craned his neck to try and kiss her hands on his chest.

She laughed into his shirt before rising on her toes to kiss the back of his neck. "I'll pour some wine, you focus on the food."

Gil let her slide away from him, although the ache that could resonate in his chest when they were at work didn't follow. In here, they could be themselves, and he could be as perfect a boyfriend as he wanted.