#and Fina thinks she hates her :D

[smolsawyer]

Mafin (Marta & Fina - Sueños de Libertad) - 7/?

-Carmen, please don't do this to me. You already know that when I have Mrs. Marta in front of me I can't. -She's not going to bite you. -I'm not comfortable Carmen, really. Between everything she knows about me and the scolding she gave me yesterday, I'm not going to be calm. ... -I will explain to you what we are going to do and don't worry I am a little less strict than your boss.

[cheerynoir]

How Do We Come Back From This?

@c0ffeebee this one’s for you, and the three other people in this rowboat of a fandom. Please excuse any wonky characterization or mistakes, they’re all my own. Unebta’d. TW: smoking, drunkenness, drunk sex, Angst, Rio [Rio Is Her Own Warning].

#

Eventually the music gave him a headache and the crush of people made him claustrophobic. So Mateo stepped out for fresh air and shivered at the chill of it as his sweat cooled. His ears rang in the sudden quiet. Smokers huddled in little knots, here and there, and he leaned back upwind of them, breathing deep. It was nice to hear himself think for once.

“Got a light?” asked a smooth voice, and he turned and found a white woman in a man’s coat. Red hair. Dark, wide-set eyes. Something about her — the twist of her mouth, maybe — reminded him of a fox.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” he said, and fumbled for the cheap zippo he’s started carrying when he realized most of his new friends lived on cigarettes and caffeine (and Rico was perpetually short a light).

He lit her cigarette and she smoked in silence for a while, before turning to him and pulling him into a conversation. He couldn’t remember what they spoke of - dancing, maybe? - but he knew the alley seemed very small, suddenly, with how they gravitated closer and closer. She tipped her face up for him, and it was a nice face, fine-boned and sharp-edged—

“Mateo,” cut in Diego. Mateo startled. He hadn’t even heard the back door bang open. “There you are.”

He didn’t look happy, but Mateo mustered up a smile. “Hey! I was just talking with—”

“Fuck off, Rio,” said Diego, without looking at Mateo at all. It was like he hadn’t spoken. A muscle in Diego’s jaw worked, and Mateo’d never seen him so closed off.

“Good seeing you, too, Diego,” the redhead replied, smirking a lopsided little smirk. “See you around, baby. Thanks for the light.”

“Don’t,” started Mateo, but the woman was already slinking away. “Call me that,” he muttered, and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling - out of sorts. Diego’s glower settled on him, black and heavy. “What?”

“Steer clear of her,” he said. And gestured impatiently. “C’mon. Fly’s looking for you.”

“What? Why? She seemed—” Hot. Intense. Dangerous. “— fine?”

Diego huffed out a breath and slammed the service door behind them, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Well she’s not. She’s a crazy bitch and you’re better off telling her to fuck herself.”

“Why?”

Diego sucked his teeth, looking torn. But he rolled his shoulders and gave his head a shake, looking like he was getting ready for a brawl.

“Rico doesn’t like her,” he settled on at last. “She’s banned from The Cat.”

That drew him up short. “What? I thought you only banned, like, cops and Nazis. Is she a Nazi?”

“No.” Jaw tight, he waved Mateo on. “Go on. You know how he gets.”

So he went, confused, and the feeling lingered, even through the happy fog that being in Fly’s orbit always left him in. Dett seemed to notice, because she snagged him a little later, a tray of shots in one hand.

“What’s up, baby?”

“Don’t call me that,” he said, reflexive. Then, “Hey, do you know Rio? White girl, red hair? Kind of foxy?”

Dett narrowed her eyes at him, but jerked her chin. He trailed her awkwardly as she wound across the floor, making sales and gathering empties.

“She and Rico used to hang out,” she said on the way back to the bar, mouth a lipsticked twist of displeasure. The words felt forced, like maybe he’d yanked them out along with some teeth, maybe.

“They dated?”

“I don’t know what they did, except egg each other on. Like two sides of a fucking coin,” said Dett. “Fuck this - Fly! I’m taking my 15 and stealing your duckling!”

Engaged with a rowdy bachelorette party, flashing the flirty customer service grin Mateo hated, Rico only lifted a hand to wave her off. Mateo trailed her back out to the alley, feeling weirdly unsettled.

“I thought he didn’t date,” he ventured at last, settling down on an overturned milk-crate. That was his thing, wasn’t it? Unattainable, charismatic, painfully cool Fly Rico, who’d flirt with anybody but never follow through.

“Aw, ducky. He doesn’t date the babies. Everyone else is fair game,” she said, and patted his knee. “Buck up. So Rio was this spooky bitch who hung around for a while, back when we were younger and dumber. She loved to stir the pot and drag Rico into shit. Tagging a building wasn’t enough, she had to try and smash up a police station, that kind of thing, y’know?”

Something warm settled in the pit of his stomach. He leaned forward and watched Dett light a cigarette and blow a series of wobbly smoke rings. What were they like, back then? What was Rico like, young and wild and hungry for everything? It itched at him like smoke in his lungs, the curiosity.

But Dett drew up short and fixed him with a heavy, pointed look. “Hey. I’m only telling you this so you get th point. She’s bad news. I tell you, and you never bring it up again, never even breathe this bitch’s name, you got it?”

“I got it.”

“Swear,” she said sharply.

A lifetime of promises to Fina – sacred things, big and small – had him crossing his heart with the tip of his finger before he’d even realized his hand had moved. “I swear,” he said, and meant it. What was one more secret for the pile? He’d die before he told. But Dett only eyed him and smoked furiously for a few long minutes. Then she nodded, and seemed to relent.

“So one night we’re all out partying, and Rio disappears for a bit. Gets into a fight with some dick twice her size - and Rico jumps in to save her ass, break it up, whatever.” Dett blew out about sigh, sounding frustrated. “She got him knifed - or knifed him herself. I wasn’t there, I didn’t see. And you know him. He’d never rat. But. He nearly died.”

“What?” said Mateo, as if from a long ways away. The ember in the pit of his stomach turned to ice. He swallowed hard.

“In the hospital, after - I’d never seen Papa so mad. Banned Rio for life, not that any of us were fighting for her. She took off, before the police and the paramedics showed up, while D and I - and all the blood. There was so much blood, that night.” Cigarette between her teeth, her gaze fell to her empty hands. She flexed them slowly, like she could feel the hot red stain there, still. Then she took a deep breath and swallowed. Visibly yanked herself back from the edge.

“She never visited - I would have killed her if she tried. After he healed up, she started sniffing around again, so Fly burned her, and now nobody fucks with her at all. So you steer clear of her, too. She only turns up trouble.”

“Okay,” he said, faintly. He’d thought she was hot and smooth, before. Smoking a cigarette and looking like she wanted to swallow him whole. She got him knifed. He nearly died. Attraction withered and died, there, in the alley way. He didn’t fight it, and he didn’t grieve.

A few days later, when he was taking a breather around eleven, Rio turned up again. Mateo ducked back inside without greeting her and couldn’t help sticking close to the bar, close to Fly, after. Like she was going to follow him in to finish what she started, maybe. Like he needed to see Rico whole and well and flirting carelessly for tips. It made his chest ache to see it, and his teeth hurt from clenching his jaw.

But he was fine. It was fine. Rico was perfectly healthy and what he did for his job was none of Mateo’s business.

She was gone when Mateo followed Fly out into the back alley a while later, anxiously curling and uncurling his fists. Even when Fly grinned at him, shoving his sweat-dark hair out of his eyes, even when he ducked his head to chase the lighter’s flame, Mateo couldn’t relax, couldn’t stop jumping at shadows. The pinpricks of light reflected in Fly’s eyes like distant stars, and the fire kissed his cheeks and turned his eyelashes to gauzy spiderwebs, and he watched Mateo, honey-slow, with a smile tucked into the corner of his mouth and he—

He still couldn’t relax.

It was a long night.

#

The door slammed behind him, the loudest sound in the whole world. Mateo stumbled, then staggered, then the wall surged up under his hands and he managed to stay upright, thank God. He didn’t think his legs would hold if he fell and needed to get back up, just now.

The world spun in a wobbly, nauseating blur. Mateo shut his eyes and tried to breathe through it, though he felt his stomach churning and his throat twitching like he was gonna gag.

He swallowed, and shut his mouth tight, and breathed. He didn’t wanna throw up. Not right now and not outside The Cat, where Rico was inside with some guy with a shitty haircut and his pretty hands all over the guy, laughing into his shoulder as they moved to the electric beat. The only two people in the fucking world, apparently.

Some night off.

Tears threatened, and Mateo tried to swallow those too. He laid his hot cheek against the brick and scraped it, feeling the roughness catch on his skin. It distracted him, and it was cool, and everything was terrible but at least he had this wall right here.

“Shit,” he mumbled, a slow-dawning realization. “Shit, I’m hammered.“

Absolutely soaked, crowed the little voice in the back of his head that sounded like Rico at his happiest. It felt like getting stabbed right between his ribs, hearing that. It hurt, it hurt. Hurt like Raul telling him, gentle and so damn kind, ‘Maybe you should give this a rest, huh?’ because he had his answer and Rico didn’t want him, wouldn’t ever want him. Mateo’s breath punched out in a ragged sob and then he couldn’t stop. The dam shattered and the tears and hurt poured out.

He wiped at his face with both hands, like he had when he was just a kid tagging along at the grocery store and so worked up about something that there was snot and tears everywhere and too many eyes watching and Tiago was getting frustrated with him again—

“You okay, baby?”

Mateo wanted it to be Rico so bad. So bad it hurt, even. He wanted Rico’s warm eyes and pretty hands and husky voice, and his arm around Mateo’s shoulders like the only thing anchoring him to the earth. The heat of him, and the smell of his sandalwood-and-spice cologne, and his quicksilver grin. Mateo wanted him. But it was only some girl with a fox face. He sniffled at her, and felt her hand on his arm like an afterthought. She was looking at him like -

Like she wanted him.

God, he wanted to be wanted. Just a little. Just a bit.

“No,” he told her, drunk and honest.

She smiled with one side of her mouth, and wiped the tears off his cheeks with both thumbs. Her hands were cool and sure. He leaned into her, and her smile widened with a flash of teeth.

“Well,” she said, “let’s see if we can fix that, huh?”

And then they were kissing and the world dissolved into heat and want and relief like cool sweet water on a parched throat. She wanted him, and it was simple and it made heat bloom in the pit of his stomach. Her back hit the brick and her mouth opened under his and it was good, God, it was so good. She tasted like mint and whiskey and he chased the taste of it while her fingernails raked down his back.

She groaned against his cheek when he hitched one of her legs up over his hip, grinding in close. It made him wonder dizzily if he could do it. If he could hike up her other leg and have her right here against the wall in front of God or anybody. Her pulse pounded under his tongue, and she arched into his hands, and she was so fucking soft and she wanted him and he wanted—

“Mm,” she sighed, and her head lolled back, and he mouthed at her neck like something starved.  “Find us a room, baby.”

“Nn?” Words were too hard. He was too hard. He lifted his head when she pulled on his hair and fixed him with a black-eyed stare. All pupil. She licked her lower lip in a flash of pink, and he dipped to do the same, but her grip on his hair tightened in a stinging flash of heat. He bit back a moan.

“A room,” she repeated. “A motel or something.”

There was one a couple of blocks over. The Sunset Motel. But even a couple of blocks felt like too far, with her pressed so close.

“Alright,” he panted, and stamped a messy kiss across her mouth. “Alright. C’mon.”

The Sunset was close, but there was an apartment above The Cat that would be empty this time of night, with two of its occupants working and one with his hands all over some guy with a shitty haircut. Mateo led the way, knocking the loose brick out of the wall and scraping up his fingers to get at the spare key. The inside of the apartment was dark, and the floor vibrated in time with the music pounding below. The girl laughed, low and husky and hot, and they were kissing again, tripping over each other and the coffee-table. Mateo managed to kick the door shut behind them, and then it was a scramble – out of clothes, into the nearest bedroom – and then—

Things got a little hazy, then. Clarity came in little flashes: one cold hand against his navel while the other rolled a condom down his length, the flash of red hair against a grey pillowcase, the ragged noise she made when he pressed his fingers – his cock – inside her. The smell of musk and sweat and sandalwood that clung to the skin of her throat where he pressed his greedy mouth.

After, he must have slept, because he woke reaching for her. The whole process repeated itself – once, then twice. Her hands, her mouth, the hot clutch of her body. The fevered intensity of her stare on his face, her mouth gasping “baby, baby” until he had to turn his face away, into the pillow, the taste of blood in his mouth from his bitten lip.

And through it all, the warm smell of sandalwood and spice.

He was muzzy, half-asleep, content with her skin against his and her head on his chest when a flicker at the doorway caught his attention and—

Rico.

Rico with one hand going white on the doorknob, still as death, the other clenched into a fist with something in it. His left thumb twitched, working the spinning loop of his fidget-ring frantically. His eyes – his eyes were—

Mateo sat up all at once, mouth dry, tongue clumsy. The air was blood-hot against his bare skin when the sheets fell away.

“Fly,” he said, drunk and stupid. He sounded surprised. “Fly, I uh—”

He stumbled, tripped, babbled. The girl. The girl didn’t say anything at all. He turned to her, hoping maybe—

It hit him, then.

Fox face. Red hair. Dark eyes. A crooked kind of smirk.

“Hey, Fly,” purred Rio.

Mateo shut his mouth, feeling like he’d missed a step on the way down the stairs. The gravity of the situation seeped into his pickled brain. His stomach iced over and his lungs locked up.

“Rico,” he heard himself say. Rico still hadn’t moved. He was always moving – tapping his foot, pacing, spinning his fidget ring – but now he was still, all but his wild eyes.

“Get out,” said Rico.

“Rico,” Mateo pleaded.

He moved at last, and something hit Mateo in the face. Surprised, he sucked in a breath, and a the stink of what he’d done – smoke-liquor-sweat-perfume – washed over him. It was his shirt. He must have dropped it, before.

He was vaguely aware of Rio sliding out of bed – out of Rico’s bed, fuck – and gathering her clothes, unhurried and unbothered and smooth.

Numbly, Mateo put on his shirt. He found his jeans, and he shoes and – and he was walking out with Rio, past a dumbfounded Diego and a glaring Dett in the doorway. He walked away and expected to cry. He even wiped at his dry eyes, like muscle-memory. But no tears came.

With each step, a hole ripped open a little wider behind his ribs, black and sucking as a chest-wound. He breathed in shallow little sips, expecting pain.

Diego was the one to shut the door behind them. The slam of the deadbolt locking felt – horrifically final.

Mostly dressed in the pre-dawn gloom, Mateo couldn’t help but look around. His head felt foggy, sluggish, and his throat thick. The beginnings of a hangover, probably.

“What do I do now?” he wondered, and the words were flat.

Rio touched his arm, and he didn’t flinch away.

“We get breakfast,” she told him.

So they did.

[finding-the-daylight]

So, now that my finals are officially over, I am going to proceed to have a drink or two or three and rewatch Eclipse. Here’s (soberly) what I remembered from the film prior to starting this account (since starting this account, posts re:Eclipse have reminded me of things I’m not going to include in this introduction): 

1. Bella is basically playing tic-tac-toe with Edward and Jacob and her feelings for them. She can’t make up her mind. When I watched it the first time, my dad was in the living room half paying attention to it and said she was very selfish. 

2. Edward tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

3. Jacob tries to control Bella, but it’s “out of genuine concern for her”.

4. Both fight for her affection and even though she’s engaged to Edward, she won’t let go of Jacob.

5. When the newborn army shows up, Bella cuts her arm with a rock.

6. There’s awkward tension in the tent.

That’s literally all I remember of the movie while sober (aside from what I have relearned from posts about Eclipse on this blog). My drunken thoughts will be below the break:

Okay, so this dude I think his name is Riley is lowkey kinda dumb, no offense. Like he just stood there and screamed “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!?” This is how all horror movies end badly. You don’t talk back. You run or hide or esape.

THE MEADOW IS SO FUCKING PRETTY. IT’S THE PUREST THING WE HAVE IN THIS FANDOM OMG HE’S PLAYING WITH EHR HAIR AND I JUST WANT SOMEOEN TO PLAY WITH MY HAIR. DAMN BELLA, MY FINALS ARE OVER. SUCKS TO SUCK, DOESN’T IT?

I never noticed the CUllen cuff before, but now thanks to this blog it’s all I’m looking @ lmao. 

I FCKING LOVE CHARLIE TOO MUCH AND HE DESERVED BETTER THIS WHOLE TIME. HE IS SUCH A GOOD FATHER AND HE DESERVES THE BEST.

THERE’S A GLOWING RED LIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW WTF I THINK IT’S THE REFLECTION OF A CAR LIGHT BUT I FUCKING SWEAR

NVM ITS GONE

WHAT THE FUCK EDWARD?? YOU MESSED WITH BELLA’S TRUCK SO SHE COULDN’T SEE HER FRIEND? FUCK. I WOULD’VE DUMPED YOU AND LEFT YOU IN THE WOODS BRO.

Edward sitting with Bella’s friends. We can’t help but stan. He’s still a bitch for the truck thing though. 

I love how Alice looks @ Edward and tells him the party will be fun because she knows nothing bad will happen. But then he reads her mind and looks conerned wtf is ognna happen?

Side note: I really like the lighting in this movie. Everyone has a healthly glow. They lokk happy.

The fucking Volturi always gotta ruin everything. Bitch ass hoes. Ol’ crusty asses acting like some outdated monarchy. Why don’t the vamprires start a democratic government?

Charlie really deserved better. Like I know they couldn’t tell him teh truth but they could’ve been slightly less untruthful prbabl.

I WANNA FIND SOMEONE WHERE MY MOM SAYS WE’RE LIKE MAGNETS WITH EACH OTHER. I WANT SOMEONE TO LOOK @ ME LIKE I’M THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. DAMNIT EDWARD. DAMNIT STEPHENDW. 

Y’ALL ARE TELLING ME THE ENTIRE CULELN CLAM COMBINED COULDN’T TKAE OUT VICTORIA? THIS SHIT IS GETTING UNREALISTIC LMAO.

THE MUSIC THAT STARTS PLAYING WHEN JAKE TURNS AROUND IN THE PARKING LOT SENT ME LMAOOOOO. 

Leah is such a badass and I wnat to be best friends with ehr plase. 

ALSO FCK THIE IMPRINTING STORYLINE. 

SAM AND LEAH WERE HAPPY TOGETHER.

NO BELLA YOU DON’T FUCKING WANNA KNOW WHAT IMPRINTING IS. NONE OF US WANTD WTO KNWO. IT NEVER SHOULDVE BEEN WRITTEN.

Taylor and Kristen are such babies in this movie. They’re so young and precious. WHIH REMINDS ME WHY TF DID SPTHEJNFNWFNA MAKE THIS SEIRESO ABOUT CHIDLREN??!?! I STILL SAY IF THE CHARACTERS HAS BEWNNF MORE MATUEE AND IN LIKE THEIR MID OR LATE TWNETIEMS OR THIRTIS IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER. FIUCKUNG FIGHT ME.

INITING BELLA TO HEAR THE TRIBE’S HISTORIES? THE CULTURAL APPROPRIATION FUCK STEPHEN0AWFJQ. BITCHJ.

SETH IS SO PRECIOUS. AGAIN. THEY’RE ALL SUCH BABIES. THESE POOR CHILDREN.

this hwoel shite is sof ukcing offensie. bitch. listen. why tf did stpehwb fafb have to appropriate cultues like this? BITCH>> you do realize if the legnds are actually like this they’rel ike that because it’s aout defeating yo white as sright? like your’e aware stpehebe ? 

omg bree is so scare d poor baby. literally why did stephenjdbawfbi do this? she just wnated to be ok not hurt anywaon.

exuce me vut CARLISLE IS HOT AS FUCK BITCH

edward is saying some real romantic shit and i sill hate him for the turck thing but like he loves her so much btu he’s stil an asshoel in this smovie

I’M ABOUT TO HATE JACOB I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES I’VE SEEN THE GIFS HOE WE GONNA GIGHT. BITCH SHE JUST TOLD YOU SHE DOESN’T LIKE YOU DON’T PUSH HER LIKE THIS. DUMBAS S HOE BITCH. YOU’RE GONNA FIGHT FOR HER? I’M GONNA FUCKIN FIGHT YOU BTCH. I WISH SHE WAS ALREAYD A VAMPIRE SO RTHAT PUNCH WOULDA HURT BITCH YOU DESERVED IT.

THESE FUCKWITS ARE FIGHTING OVER HER AND NOT LISTNEING TO HER THEY ARE BOTCH CANCELLED. BELLA NEEDS TO LEAVE BOTH THESE HOES AND GET A NEW MAN WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS HOW TO LISTNE. BITCHES.

I love Emmett so much. BELLA SHOULD FINA A MAN LIKE HIM. IT’S WHAT SHE DESERVES.

ROSALIE IS ABOUT TO POP TF OFF. SHE IS A QUEEN AND I LVOE AND SUPPORT HER. the saddest thing about this is that she thought her life was perfect and then some fucking asshoes ruiend it. she was so happy. wtf im gonna cry. fuck. i hate sptehej n so much. these gross ass hoes i’m gonna cik all theyre assses. this is so gross i’m so angry literaluy setthing beithc. BUT THEN SHE GETS HER REVENGE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL. FUCK THOSE BASTARS. but she;s so sad it breaks my heart. she wants to be human so bad. this scene is so sad and it’s theonly good scene in twilight and nikki reed deserves an ocsa like if you agree.

jane and alec more childrne who should’ve been able to be children fck the volturie

why the hel is jessica the fucking valedinact ion? it should’ve been bella they made her seem so damn smart but now she’s not theo ne? i don’ beliee it. but anna kendrick is a gift and now i wanna watch ptiche perfect. CHARLIE is so pure he deserved better and i’m gona kep saying it.

i love those fucking rose colored lamps hanging at the cullens house int he window at hte party scene can anyone link them to me i need? 

why the hell is the wolfpack athe cullesn hosue? this doesnt make sense and it doesn’t seem real am i too drunk and imabginf this?

jno wait it’s real. jake’s appolgoizng.

how fucking conventinet the woflpakc is there hwen alice realizes there abotu to be attacked. this aint realistc. bitc.

why are these kids being forces to act like audls? “I wans;t asking for permission” hoe you’re like 16 go home and go tib ed and odnt go to war.

these woflies gonan kick yo ass edward get tf out

i’m laughign nrow but nothigng funy is happening lmaoooo

fck carlisle is really hot as fuck his jawline kills me

i hate jasper’s hair here i’m sorry i know we all lovehim bt heis hair is a dam nmess

belal is so fuckign negative all the time no one is gonan get killed exceptsvictoris

THE COWBOOIIIII WHY DOES HE LOOKS LIKE OWNE WILSON IN THIS DAMN LIGHTIN? ALICE AND JASPER LOVE EACH TOHER SO MUCH MY APLOGIZKE MAAM FCK IT UP.

why thfe fuck is hake comparing his situaton with leah and sam and emily? We are nto the same hoe wae are not the same. bella is choosing edward sit yo ass down. but i still thin kyall are both problemastic as fuck in thos movie and hse deserves better.

CHARLIES DESEVRS  BTETER THEY KEEP LYIGN EVEN WHEN THEY DUCKGN DONT NEED TO

reblog if you thought edward and bella wre gona fuc, when she went over to his house in eclipse when yo ufirst read the book or saw the movue

he really oes love her a lot though fkcn i’m so alone 

 he looks si sad wgen he mentind ices tea on the porch poor edward

EVERY DANM MOMENR OF FOREVER BITCG I WANT  LOVE LIK THST 

LITERALLY THIS IS THE SUTPEIDEST PLOT EVER. A WHOLE FUCKIN ARMY TOO ATTACK ONE IGRL? BITCH. THIS AINT EVEM A THING. 

im gettign ral tired yall dik if i waill mke it to the end of this movie but i will tru

i hate the enrgey from jae and efard in this tent. ya’ll are both dumb hoes and she could do better than either ofy ou. 

WRHAT THE FUCK FASTER IF YOUR TOOK YORU CLOTHS OFF BITCH WHAT THE FUCK NOW I AM GONNA FUCKIN PUNCH YOU IB HOEP BELLA OUBCHES YOU WHEN SHES A VMAPRIE STUPID HOE 16 YEAR OLD SHOULD BE AT HOME IN BED INSTEAD OF IN A TENT TRYING TO FIGH A FCUKCN WAR

edward is such an emo boi in the tent and he thinsk she doesn;t lve him any more. yo ua stipiud hoe edearf but she still loves you anwyab ithc.

wheb edward said i’m not gonna force her into naythign ever agin i realized he was hte better man good for you eddie you fickun manned up you win

MY REASON FOR ESXITNST HOE I JST WNAT TO BE LOVED

now edwards bene a fuckboi again trying to hurt jake b ymaking sure he knew they were getting maried edward what the fuck iw was just starting to be on your side agian and you let me down like this

jacob is beign an emo boi now jake go be a child @ home and stop this nonsense you’re not a man go be a chid and take a nap and eat some grilled cheese youkk feel better

now she told him she wants to kiss him wtf bella don’t kead this bitch on he’s already in pain let hom gp home and eat a grilled cheese

mow bella’ supsetti spaghetti because edwards know she kissed jake

this shit is so unenecasialr dramtic wht the fuck yall  like a whole army ofver one girl and then its like all everyboyd trying kill everybody this is bulshittheyre all children who should eb at home eating grileld chesses not at war

victoria is a real bitch lying to this boy telling hin she lvoes him hoe bitch

og shit efward ifs pissed now he’s tauntign ab ithc

i acutaly kinda fel bad for riley he wnet through so mcuh and was manipulated i wish the cullens could have adopted him and bree

oshit is the volutire 

SAM DONT FUCKUGN TALK TO LEAH LIKE THAT EVER AGIAN YOU HOE

CARLISE AND I REPEAT AGAIB IS HOT AS FUCK FUCK CARLISRL

I LITERALLY AHTE THE VOLTURIE FOR KILLIGN VREE THEY WILL NEVER BE FORGIVEN

JASPER KNOWS WHATS GOOD HE DOESN’T TURST THESE HOES

I’M SO PISEED THAT THE CULLENS NEVER FUCKING IFHT THE VOLTURIE LIKE CARLISLES IS SMART AS FUCK AND EHS TILL WONT START A DEMOCRAY LIKE YALL KNOW ROSLAIE WOULDVE FOGUHT FOR THAT SHIT TOO

 I LVOE YOUDADY CARLISLE

THIS 16 YEAR OLD LYING UP HERE BECAUSE OF TE DUMBASS WAR I TOLD YALL TO GO GOEN AND EA A GRILELD CHEDWE

poor jakie he knows hed better good for her but she reallys loves eward jake deserved better than what he got reblog is youf agree he jst said he’s even love her after she’s a vamprie bruh go eat a grilled chease and love yourself

WERE BACK IN THE FUCKING MEADOW ITS LIT AND ITS LOVELY I WANNA FALL IN LOVE IN A MEADOW WITH A HANDAOME MYSTERIOUS MAN WHO LOVES ME UNCODNITONATLY

KIRSTNE STEQARD IS THE WBEST AND SHE DESERVED AN OSCAR FOR THIS MOVIE HER AND NIKKI REED AND NODBOYD ELSE

fianlly this bitch is gonna beh onest with chalrie took you long enough

that was an anticlamtnc ending but i love love

[despairingvacation]

how am i supposed to keep on feeding you?

...kill people?

TW FOR: UNCANNY VALLEY, CANNIBALISM, AND SUICIDAL IDEATION.

A Spotlight shines down. A Lone Woman standing beneath it, wincing from the brightness of it. It’s blinding but not unbearable. More Spotlights go off, collectively illuminating the surrounding area. This place, this… Stage. It’s… “Home, nyasu?” There’s no mistaking the rickety surroundings and dilapidated buildings in the area. The common cat head motif and the uneven pavement. This was Tao’s Home. The Ghetto she helped to protect with Torakaka. From the sights to the smells, everything yelled that she was home free now. Her body, no her heart clamored for her to go running to see everyone. Torakaka, Chachakaka, The Kittens, Robo-Ky, Everyone… But something’s amiss. Even she can feel it. With an upturned nose, Tao makes her way to one of the buildings and knocks on the door only to raise a brow seeing it swing open so easily on the first knock. Empty… An empty house with nothing but abandoned furniture inside. The floor and chairs were covered in some strange, black, gooey substance, but otherwise the only thing amiss was the lack of other people within.

Some part of her, she can feel it in her gut, but it’s a sickening sense of anguish. Fear? Disappointment? She didn’t know or seem to care. Her Heart screams at her to sniff around and see what was wrong, but she leaves and advances towards the next house. She doesn’t knock this time, rather she lets herself inside. Same outcome. Empty, abandoned, black goo.

The Next house. Same thing.

The Next. The Same.

Next. More goo.

Finally, she arrives. It’s her house. Funny. She remembers the layout of these streets being more windy and twisted. It was all a straight shot this time. Either she’s too busy making her way around to care, or things got rearranged when she was away… Empty red eyes stare at the door, taking note of the crack in it. That’s unlike Tora. Normally she’d lock it once everyone was inside. Robo-Ky would forget every now and then but, they were usually diligent about it. Raising a palm to the doorknob, Taokaka can feel the fur on her bristle up. Something’s wrong. Terribly wrong. There’s danger. She’s sensed it since the first house, and yet she’s chosen to ignore it until now. The fact her fur was on end, her senses are crying out to her to turn back and try to escape, and her heart is screaming out for some semblance of help, of hope… She ignores it. Finally she pushes the door open…

…

…..

……

Nothing. Nothing’s here… No one is here. No Tora. No Robo. No one. However… The room looks darker than the rest of the houses. Unusually so. Even as the dim street light shines inside, it seems to just end right when the darkness begins…

Dark. Black. Inky… Was this Willie? Inkswald? ...She remembers now.

As if on cue, the stray black masses of goop snake their way out their respective houses and slither into Tao’s old home, snaking around her feet in the process. Run. She can’t. Blankly, she watches as the masses lump together, form something, merge into one. Then, a mask seems to manifest on the strange mass, right where it’s face should be… RUN. She stays still, watching it slink closer to her, bubbling up like foam to get a better look at her until it’s inches from her face.

“You… Yo ‘re that lit e pest t ats always n my wa … You’ e  ack.” Taokaka never understood what the hell it was saying. It was always choppy, and it’s choppiness only served to irritate her and press her into fighting it more usually. Now she just stands there. Listening. Watching. The undulating movements it makes, the squishing and slickness of its mass shifting while it towered over her… The smell. Taokaka HATED this thing… All it did was terrorize her friends and family, threaten their lives, hunt them. ...Eat them when it could. She never understood WHY it went out of it’s way to try and eat her and the others, but it was a determined creature… So determined that it succeeded once during one of her patrols…

“Goo , so g  d… Abs lut  y de ic  us!!! Khhh hyaya haaahy  a!! You w  ld m ke for a fit  ng de   rt~.” The black mass slinks backwards however, ready to fight back when she would strike it in retaliation, but it pauses. Waits. “You w  t fight b  k?? The Ul   ate N  ht at h? Why?”

“Tao… Still can’t understand mew, Squiggly... Tao never understood why mew try to eat us… mew just do. Tao’s just going to guess and say that the squiggly is asking why Tao’s not fighting mew now…” Air passes through her teeth, a drawn out hiss is heard. “Tao… Hates you… SO MUCH. But… Mew proved Tao right. Two proved Tao right… And even if he doesn’t believe it anymore, Osomyatsu is right. Nyo-one’s here for Tao anymore. Mew ate them all. Killed them all, nyasu. For a long time, Tao wanted to get out. To be free with everyone nyasu. Tao wanted to be the big hero and save everyone from the bad guys. Squiggly Rat and Inky Rabbit. Wait for Rabbit Voice to save us, nyasu… Tao’s tired of hoping… Tao’s so… Exhausted… JK should have stabbed Tao, nyasu…” She stares at her feet, drained of all hope. “JK should have stabbed her and made Tao’s code thingy go off… Instead, they made her hurt beardo. And since then… She hasn’t been able to stop thinking… What if Tao was dead… Chatty’s always saying we’re just ‘giving them what they want, nyasu…’ but… Tao’s caring less and less… Tao wants to be free.”

The ink-like creature slinks behind her, listening intently, intrigued. “De d?  Ou want to d e?”

“...Maybe a little… No. Tao’s just… She wants to be free… She freed Grey-Yellow and Curly-Q. So… Now it’s Tao’s turn… Right, nyasu?”

Guttural, chaotic, vicious laughter erupts from the black ooze. Oh, this was too perfect!!

“Lit e beast of wa  past. You’ve g ne an  fina  y broken. Gughhu ghy  AHGHAHAHA!!! No lo  er a tho n in my ide… I can f ee you… do ‘t worry...” Slowly, it’s body coils around her… And she allows it…

This is it… This is what she wants. She didn’t exactly expect ‘Squiggly’ of all things to do her in, but it is what it is… right? Silently, she begins to apologize… For everything she’s done. Everything that’s happening… To Penny, To Date, Grimnir, Jowd, Shintaro, Ahn, Spinel, Della, Osoma-

‘Well if you’re going to kick his ass, I’m gonna be right there next to you, alright? Who does he think he is, messing with us, right?’

What...

‘Before this trial starts I would like everyone to know that Tao-chan and I are officially dating.’

Wait…

‘If I can have fun with you around, it makes all this feel a little less shitty.’

No, Why… Why is this happening?

‘Ughhh. Well... if you want to be angry, you can be angry with me. I won’t tell a soul. I think I’m too tired to, anyway…’

‘Asking me to pick a favorite Tao is like asking me to pick my favorite flavor of ice cream.’

Was this really the right thing to do?!

‘I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone on purpose, not really. I... I’m sorry, Tao-chan.’

‘You're safe... I can't believe it... you're safe, you're okay…’

Tears run down her cheeks, they sting; they’re so hot.

‘I promise, we’ll both be safe and lucky and make it out of here together.’ The creature’s grip on her tightens…

‘I just... it’s so lonely in here…’

‘A present? For me? Really?’

‘Last one there picks up Grimnir’s dirty socks!’

‘I miss seeing your smile…’

‘Answer me this— what the hell am I going to do if I have to leave here without you?’

Enough!! Something erupts inside her, and she begins to fight. To try and squirm out of the black creatures grip. She fights… And fights… and Squirms. Only to be met with laughter. Sick, deafening laughter. It sounded less like ‘Squiggly’ and more like the rat… But it looked nothing like him…

“Now you squi m?? You t y to escape? Sec  d t oug  s?? Too l  g have I waited for this moment!!” It’s becoming more coherent now… “You’ve had your due a LONG TIME AGO, YOU DUMB CAT!! WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING NOW?! ISN’T THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?! AN ESCAPE?!” It… Was… But.. This wasn’t the way!! THIS WASN’T RIGHT!!! RIGHT?! She’s at war with herself. She wants to Stay alive. Does she? She wants to live. Does she? She has reason to!! ...She does. She was so blind to it even when it was in front of her… He’s right about everything!! She was poisoned right?! RIGHT?! She has to keep fighting!!

“We were almost RID of you the last trial!! HAHAH!! YOU PUT ON SUCH A GOOD SHOW TOO!! YOU ALMOST MADE EVERYONE LOSE!!! WHO EVEN DOES THAT TO HER ‘FRIENDS?!’” She Squirms, pushes kicks and fights. No avail. She’s exhausted herself. The Kaka with seemingly endless energy has been drained of it all from the end of the last trial… And it proceeded to weaken as time went on… “HONESTLY YOU MADE THE SHOW QUITE ENTERTAINING FOR A WHILE, But Even the brightest stars fade out!!! Now… Time to give you that Escape you wanted… And to have a little snack myself… I’m FAMISHED!!”

Wait... No... NONONO!!! THIS IS NOT WHAT SHE WANTED.

In her final moments, Taokaka’s ears fold back, the tears falling from her eyes. A Small toothy grin cracks through, and she whispers. “...good-bye, everyone...”

[Osomachuu wuvs Tao-chan too!]

“...Especially mew… O-”

In a garbled mess of gurgles, slurping and swallowing, ‘Arakune’ rises up from their spot, spits up Taokaka’s hoodie and begins cackling devilishly. The Former Ultimate Nightwatch was no more.

[royal-despair]

​You watch the scene pass by you. A once daunting sunset is now a beautiful sunrise. ​The ship passes above you, feeling almost like a huge whale in the sky.. ​The pods start to rumble, struggling to find a good landing spot. ​It gives a warning, saying something along the lines of "Potentially rough landing imminent. Please tighten your safety buckles. ​The pods land, and thankfully everything was safe. And everyone was together. ​You all exit the pods, and stare off. ​The ship is the only thing blocking your view.

Sketches and color done by @allyssinian​, lineart by @talentlessartblog​ Epilogue illustration (final image) done by qosic on tumblr and twitter x x

Final words written by their muns; @guitarasaurus-rex​ , @shslchemicalx​, @lucitous​, @jullya-senpai​, @tsoi-sauce​

T a k u m a   M i t s u k u r i

“Y-you're the only thing r-really keeping me going..."

"I... I don't want... I can't lose you... I-I love you... Please don't leave me alone..."

Tears stained his face. His stomach contorted violently, twisting and turning, anxiety flooding his being. Was this the end? Was it a new beginning? It didn’t matter to him. Not now. In time, maybe. But now? Now all he felt was despair, sadness… anger…

He’d need time. Time to recover, time to compose himself, time to… move on? could he move on? Would he ever? He didn’t know. He wouldn’t know for a while.

...Chiyo dedicated her life to saving this earth… this broken, distorted earth… Broken and distorted… just like him… He wouldn’t recover quickly, and it was almost certain the wounds he’d received would never fully heal… but… when the pain eased… he would do everything he could to realize her dream. He couldn’t let her efforts be for nought. He’d fix this broken planet, piece by piece… And when it was all over? He’d maintain it... do his best to bring peace to everyone… And then he’d see Chiyo again… He’d tell her he loved her… And they could be together.

All that would come… He’d make sure it did… But, for now, he just grieved.

D m i t r i   C i e r z o n 

"...." Everyone was being emotionally wrecked, and here he was, not emotionally wrecked. He really was different, it seemed. Even though everything was both a lie and a truth.

How.... Strange.

He walked over to Leon, sliding his hand into the Dollmaker's own. Calluses... Not from fighting, it seemed. But these were the same hands that had supported him on the ship, even though he had lied again and again, and made questionable decisions one after another.

... This, at least, was real. Even if he couldn't trust anything else, he could trust at least this -- them.

L e o n h a r d   V o g e l

Leon blinks and glances down to see Dmitri holding his hand in his, staring out at the wreckage from where they had been mere minutes ago. He parts his lips to say something, though he can't find the words. He had trusted Dmitri, trusted his judgement, and it had all worked out. Maybe not as smoothly as they had all hoped, but they're here. They're here and alive.

With no words to say, his lips slide shut along with his eyelashes. He presses a kiss to his forehead. Hopefully that will express his feelings well enough. He had always found it strange how emotions could be expressed so easily for him through touch. He wanted to convey his affection, his relief, but most of all? His hope for the future.

The end of one story is the beginning of another, and he sincerely hopes they can turn this bittersweet moment into something beautiful. After a few moments, he pulls away and turns his head to look back at the horizon. Not at the airship, but beyond. To the trees and skyline, the chittering birds overhead. It would be up to them to maintain this beautiful world, and he can't say he's too ready for it, unknowing of what that may entail , but he finds himself eager to begin.

R u n a   K n i g h t l y

‘What do we do now?’

"..." Runa... leans her head on Seojun's shoulder, she watches the light of the sun through the filter of the smoke. "...Who's to say... maybe find other people, rehabilitate back into the world's current society... I just," She lifts her head, "I just want to stay close to everyone for the time being..."

J o s e f i n a   D e   B e l a s c o 

Fina stared at the scene in front of her. It was all so intense. So surreal. They made it out. All the people they lost. All the truths they gained. It all came to her in a wave of emotions. So much was going through her head right now. She sat down on the ground and let out a long sigh. "Oh fuck... We actually did it. We made it."

S e o j u n   T s o i

Fifty days.  They were trapped for fifty days on the airship known as the Queen Rose, with the conditions of being involved in a horrendous killing game.  Blood, sweat, and tears were shed almost every single day.  There was an atrocious amount of despondency throughout the entire “trip” they had gone through together.  As the blaring alarms were ringing in his head even now, Seojun found himself recollecting everything that had happened for him.  Not just in those fifty days, no.  What happened overall in the seventy six days that he had been trapped in his two killing games. What had happened in the past two and a half months for him was an absolute nightmare.

Day one. He woke up in the anteroom with seventeen students other than himself, and he found himself forced into a killing game under the treacherous duo of Gekumi and Torimi.  From the first week in, he found something that was quite odd:  Gekumi seemed to take more of the hate, but Torimi seemed to take more of the power instead.  It was something that the supposed Internet Troll had found to be quite the oddity.  Weren’t they working together?  He didn’t say anything about it, however.  He had to keep himself together.  He had to. Everyone around him was panicking like wild animals, so he couldn’t be seen doing the same.  He had to be that one guiding light to everyone.

Day six. That’s when he witnessed his first execution.  Karou was torn apart viciously, and Seojun had to see their demise firsthand.  It was absolutely dreadful, but he had to keep going.  And so, he did.  The second murder passed, as did the second execution.  He would soon find out about his loved ones being captive, about Ae-Joung being captive.  Seojun initially freaked out; he had freaked out when he saw his “sister” inside those bondages of rope, and the blindfold over her eyes.  She was scared of the dark, and in a way, so was he.  He was afraid of the darkness surrounding him, but he had to stay strong, and keep smiling.  He had to be that one guiding light to Ayaka.

Ayaka.

”C’mon, Junie!  Think positive.  Things are going to be okay, alright?  Trust me, I promise.”

She seemed to be just like his sister.  His sister, who had saved his life from his own hands.  The sixteen year old girl wasn’t one he fell in love with, but she was someone that he had grown to wanting to protect.  He had wanted to protect her, because someone just like her had done the same for him.  At least, that’s what he remembered.  The girl was innocent, and he wanted to protect someone that felt like a sister to him.  She was so, so devastated when Karou died.  When Karou was the one who had taken the knife, and stabbed Varian in the back.  She was so devastated, and the girl with the round glasses had went to Seojun for comfort.  Seojun ended up doing the worst thing imaginable though, and he witnessed Antonio killing another poor, innocent girl named Hitomi Kurusaki.  Instead of dying himself, he took it upon his own hands to strike...and he killed the man.

Day twenty six.  That’s when the trial of Antonio de Sabatini and Hitomi Kurusaki occured.  That’s when everyone managed to pin it on Raphael Bernard, the Super High School Level Archer.  That’s when everyone managed to get it wrong, and vote for the wrong person.  That’s when Seojun Tsoi had managed to get away with murder, much to his dismay.  He...He didn’t want to see Ayaka with that look of betrayal on her face.  He didn’t want to see her getting executed horrifically, but here he was, forced to watch all of his shipmates die in gruesome, grotesque fashions.  The sickly green gecko bot was controlled by someone amongst his rankings, but because he had killed another person, Seojun would never know who went through the same fate that he had gone through. He’d never know who the second mastermind really was.

Day twenty seven.  That’s when he woke up in the anteroom for a second time, much to his dismay.  This time, there were eighteen others around him.  Eigteen people who didn’t know what the hell was going on, or why they were here.  Seojun knew, though - he knew exactly why they were here, and he knew exactly why he was here.  He was here to scounge out for the mastermind, who was amongst all of them.  One of these eighteen students was the mastermind behind his own killing game, and it was his mission to find out who it was.  However, as he went along, things steered into different directions. There was the day where he made his friendship with Leon a thing.  There was the day where he roasted Manobu alongside Dmitri, with Raiden at their side too.  There was the day where he promised to keep Izaya safe, there was the day where he decided to help Cici feel like the princess she always wanted to be.  There was the day of theTruth or Dare game.  There was the day of the King’s Game.  There was the day where he fell in love with Runa Knightly.  Every day made up this path; every day led up to this moment.

Then, they reached to today.  Day seventy six.  The day where they discovered who Sanae Oshiro’s daughter, and heiress of the company behind the purifying machines really was.  The day where they found out that Chiyo Oshiro was the mastermind and first degree murderer of tens, hell, hundreds of people.  Maybe even thousands, if you count those outside of killing games.  This was the day where they achieved something that she despised, that the rest of the world didn’t see could happen.  This was the day where they would restore a concept to planet Earth as they knew it.  As Seojun turned to the five before him, he found himself embracing the tears that were streaking down his cheeks, and looking onto everyone before him. 

Josefina de Belasco.  The tallest person on the ship, but regardless, she was simply a gentle giant that had hopes for the future.  She was innocent, but not pure-hearted either.  She was timid at times as well, and even more so humbling, but nevertheless, she never backed down in her beliefs.  She put her heart into everything she did, and only wanted the best for everyone else.

Takuma Mitsukuri.  A man who was in shambles, broken down, and beaten with despair.  A man who made himself out to be someone that was slightly confident, but more or less snarky.  A man that was more than meets the eye.  Seojun knew he didn’t get along with him at first, but as they were trapped with each other for quite a few days, he had grown to see that he was almost like him, in a way.  He wanted to protect, and he wanted to feel validated by those around him.

Dmitri Cierzon.  Cool, mysterious, aloof at times even.  Hardly did he ever see the man lash out at anyone around him with a raised voice.  Sure, he may have stabbed a man, but he believed it was for the better, with morals or not.  He was blunt, but he was honest.  He was an honest man, and even then, he was underestimated.  Pastry Chef, Spy...whatever he may have been by now, he was still Dmitri.  A boy who loved headpats, sweets, and kicking ass.

Leonhard Vogel. He stepped up to the plate when no one else would.  He spoke up when everyone else stayed silent.  He did his best to protect everyone around him, despite his conditions, despite his mental state.  He put a lot of people before his own needs, and he just wanted to make everyone happy.  He was a damaged man, but he was not broken, and Seojun knew that this man could heal with time, with people by his side.  He would consider him to be one of his closest friends.

Then, there was Runa Knightly.  She was his sunshine, as he was her Hairpins.  If there was one promise he was able to keep, it’s that he was able to protect her.  He was able to protect her, throughout all of this madness and despair.  He was able to protect this beautiful girl, someone who wasn’t perfect, but still magnificent in her own ways.  She wants to improve on herself.  She is determined, and doesn’t give up, no matter what the price may pay for her.  The blonde truly loved this woman, inside and out.

Seojun Tsoi faced everyone once again, and silently, a smile came to his lips.  “...Regardless...we did it, huh?  We...made it out.”  He looks overhead, to meet his gaze with the bright and radiant sun shining over the horizon.  “...We’re...going to start a changing process.  This isn’t...the end, that I can tell.  This is only the beginning of something new.  A new future, not just for us...for us all.  We’re finally going to have it.  We’re going to unlock something that should’ve been given a long, long time ago.”  As the blonde took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly, he found the word that he had wished to utter for so long.  They finally have it now.

“Freedom.”

[salmon404]

I’m gonna regret posting this but uh have a story

(it doesn’t really have a name so if you think of a name plz plzplz tell me)

Chapter 1

: Long Lost Somethings

Baboom Baboom Baboom The bass was going insane in this song, causing me to bounce around even more than I would normally do. A young man I was dancing with accidentally touched my boob, normally I’d let it slide but he lingered a little too long. So I slapped his hand playfully and gave him a smirk. I turned to another boy and ground my hips against him whilst drinking from my wonderful bottle. From under the haze of vodka I heard the boy from my Last dance call me a slut. Normally I’d let that slide As well, but, I was under the influence so… I beat the shit out of him. I awoke On a couch Not my own, It was probably Some guys, I looked Around and saw I was Surprisingly still at the party. God, I was wasted, I prodded My face remembering the fight, It Appeared I only had a small black eye People were still dancing, I looked around and Remembered that this was my party, and this couch Was mine but covered in everyone's jackets. I saw on The couch across from me there was the boy I beat up, he Was not much older than me, probably a senior, I got him Good… One of his fingers was at an awkward angle… cringing I turned away from the carnage. I tried to sit up but Sera pushed me down. “You got really drunk Svea…” “Lemme up, and I’m sure you know by now, that’s not my name.” “What isn’t? Svea.” Cringing again as she said the name, I turned away. “Please…” Pity filled Sera’s eyes. “I’m not her anymore, so I don’t need you to say her name, nor do I need your GOD DAMN PITY!” I shoved away the nausea and Sera, and got up. I grabbed a bottle from a nearby counter “I think it's time you leave my party, Fina.” I told her looking over my shoulder slightly but not at her. It was a low blow at what her mum used to call her, but at least she knew her mum had loved her. “Please stop drinking Sam.” Then Serafina walked out the door. Normally I would regret what I said and run after her. There was a lot of stuff I normally did that I didn’t do anymore.

I walked away even though it hurt, She had been drunker than I had ever seen her, her accent so thick I could barely understand her words even without her slurring. Svea truly wasn’t the same person as she used to be, the person I climbed up on top of those bleachers with. I walked through the bushes to the house next door. We were no longer what we were, we weren’t even acquaintances. I didn’t know what we were before, but now… I didn’t know her at all. “How was it?” Myla asked, we had been having a sleepover before the Bjornar party started. “I saw an old friend,” Myla was the only friend I had since coming back from Britain. “You make it sound as if that's a bad thing.” “Yeh…” “What. What happened? Okay, something happened.” “Naw, I’m fine, Just really really really stressed.” I plopped down on the side of the bean bag chair Myla was using. Myla shoved me off so I laid on the floor. And gazed at the pocked ceiling. “Don’t worry, we can figure it out!” “She isn’t t' same person as before.” I moaned dejectedly. “Who was it?” I hesitated but decided to tell her. “ It was… ugh, it was Sam.” “Oh..” I couldn’t understand the look on her face, how did she know who Sam was, I mean she was always pretty popular, but Myla was a new student who knew the last name of maybe a total of ten kids. “Yeh…” “Well, you did miss a lot of st-” “Yeah! I see that,” I suddenly snapped, who was Myla to know anythin' about Jo! She didn’t know her! “Sorry, sorry, I’m just saying that I think you should find out about what you missed before trying to be her friend again.” “How do you know I want t' know her again? Say I did though, want to be her friend again, I should find everythin' out from her. N' sorry I snapped, I’m just really stressed. ” It was hard to stay angry when everything was this sad. “It’s ok, and I can tell by the way you said really three times. So what I was saying is that she will not trust you anytime soon, if you did want to be her friend again. Shit happened, I heard she's basically an orphan now. She drinks. Hangs out with like all the bad people. She’s got a drug addict as a best friend. You’ve seen her.” She made a hand gesture, that I was pretty sure meant I have a ton of other gossip about her, but I’m guessing you don’t really wanna hear it now, but don’t worry I will find someway to gossip with you soon, Damn, how can someone convey a whole compound sentence with just their hands? Without using ASL of course. But I hadn’t heard about any of this “What happened? And how d' ye know this about her? Last I checked you never talked to Sam.” “Honestly, everyone’s heard the rumors about her, even the new kids like me. Also we have band together!” She smiled cheekily, I sighed. I originally wanted to avoid her when I came back. But she was a black hole. Also it’s kinda hard to avoid her when we have nearly all our classes together, pass each other all the time in the halls, and live next door. “Ehhhh…” I moaned “...Maybe I should’ve just stayed in Britain.” “Then you wouldn’t of met me! Silly!” I laughed and we went to our sleeping bags. It was hard not t' be optimistic with Myla, but tears still pricked my eyes as I listened to the bass thumping through our neighbourhood... I didn’t know what to do. I had spent two whole years trying to forget about Svea, Sam. And now here I was, already basically stalking her and trying to figure out how to get her to like me again. I deserved her hatred though, I abandoned her. The splotchy purple designs around my room did nothing to calm me, and I drifted off to a fitful sleep.

I hate her I’m just trying To console Leah but I keep seeing Sera staring At me. I purposely ignore her And look down at the shit lunch the School hands out. Too stressed I throw Away my lunch and focus on Leah She’s having a bad day today, she Doesn’t touch her food and I Feel scared. I hate myself More than I hate Sera. I can’t even help My best friend. Leah starts to shake For seemingly no reason, I look around and see A teacher with dark Hair, it wasn’t Her dad who’s walking by, But Leah is terrified of him anyway. Her PTSD taking more control of her, I want to hug her and comfort her, rather than worsen it I Gingerly touch her hand and draw her attention. She looks at me and I motioned my head towards The bathroom across the hall. Leah nods and I get Up, thinking that I was going over to her Sera giddily Hit Myla and Myla gestured for us to come over as well. I turned away, not even being able to look at Sera for More than a moment. I thought I was over her, I guess I was wrong, I need to work on myself More, I don’t have time for feelings. The first time I had seen her in two years had been when she barreled into me after turning a corner. I had instantly tried to help her before realizing who it was. She never even hinted she was coming back from Britain, I guess she didn’t have my contacts anymore, but still. We realized who the other person was at the same time as I handed her her notebooks, we stared at each other for what seemed like forever, everything was still around us. Then in a flash I got up and ran.

I got up, I thought Svea had been heading over to me but instead she went to the bathroom. I knew I shouldn't follow her, but I just couldn’t stay here anymore, I needed to talk to her. I felt Myla try to pull me back down but it was too late I was already getting up. I could smell the smoke before I even got in the bathroom, someone was smoking some major shit. I prayed that it wasn’t Svea. I walked in and saw a sallow faced kid and Svea standing on the toilets passing a blunt over the stall walls, when they heard me they both ducked. “You smoke now, too, Sam?”I put as much emphasis on Sam as I could, I immediately regretted doin' that, I was better than that, but Svea just caused my brain t' go haywire. “Fan ni Sera.” “Vad hände?” “I see you learned some Swedish, ya kuk.” “Just that, I googled it t' period before because I wanted t' ask ye in yer own language.” “Pronunciation sucks.” “I’ll just go, it was a mistake for me t' come in here. it’s clear you don’t care about me…” “Helvete Fin, you are the one who doesn’t care!” The door to her stall opened up and Svea was fuming. “You left ME!” Her face crumpled as she realized she said the thing she had been trying so hard not to say. A whimper sounded from the other stall and Svea looked down and saw that she still had the blunt. Glaring at me, Svea knocked on Leah’s door, she waited a bit while glaring even harder at me. The door opened and Svea gave the weed to Leah before stepping into the stall and closing the door behind her. “Det ar dags att lamna.” “I’m guessin' you just asked me t' leave?” I got no response. “I missed you Sam.” I sort-of whispered, but I knew she heard. I stood there a little too long. I finally walked out of the bathroom only to run straight into Myla. “JESUS, SERA! You can’t run off like that! You need to control yourself! Come with me.” Myla grabbed my hand “ We are going to make a plan.” Myla dragged me into the empty swimming pool room thing, and then into the locker room. She still didn’t think this was enough and went to the storage room where they store… stuff… sorry I didn’t inspect the room from floor to ceiling, I was busy trying t' figure out what Myla was doing. “You're gay.” She didn’t ask, she just said it matter of factly, like that wasn’t my whole life. I had tried to hide it but clearly not well. “What? No...“ I said too sheepishly “Don’t try to deny it. I know it. And I know that you and Sam used to be more than friends, don’t ask me how I know that you are gay, I just have a really good gaydar for some reason. “But how did you know about me and Sam?” It still felt weird to say Sam. “I’ve seen you staring at that short haired, high cheek boned goddess all day. You also left our slumber party to go to her party and then were sad that you saw her.” Svea was some kind of Nordic Goddess, she was even more beautiful than when I left, she had grown into her little body and looked more like a small viking finally, instead of just a really short blond haired chick. I was surprised to see she had cut her hair into a boys style and bleached it when I first saw her, but it looked fantabuloso on her. I still had my black bob and green eyes, my body was still fairly lanky. She looked so much hotter than me. “Frick.” "Yep, I got you good girly.” “How are you ok with me bein' a lesbian when we live this far down south?” “Not everyone down here is religious and backward.” “Just most…” I said half joking. “And my family is originally from Hawai'i, and they never really had an opinion on gays.” “So what was it that ye wanted t' plan or whatever.” “Well it's clear that the both of you are still soulmates so I want you to woo her back.” “But what if she hasn’t come out?” “I mean she never specifically said it, but I’m sure no one would be surprised.” “What about t' incident?” I remembered how Myla had heard tons of rumors about Sam already, had what we had done gotten out to everyone? “What incident? I only moved here a year ago so I haven’t heard about any ‘incident’.” She used air quotes when she said incident. “ That's good, that means that it didn’t spread everywhere.” I breathed a sigh of relief and gagged as I smelled the rancid jerseys probably growing mold in the back of the room. “But what is this incident? “ When we were freshmen, fourteen year olds. We kissed on top of t' gym bleachers once and we got caught. It was my first kiss with a girl, same with Sam. T' gym teacher screamed at us about bein' sinners. He shouted about us bein' faggots and dykes and whores, that we were goin' t' hell and would burn there for eternity, we were mistakes and God hated us. “I ran away and convinced my parents t' take us back t' London, we were already going to be moving back at t' end of the school year, but I convinced them t' do it right then. I was too scared t' even think about what would happen t' us. We lived there for two years before comin' back here again this year. “I didn’t even think about Sve-Sam until we were on t' plane, on our way t' Britain. I abandoned her.” I slipped on her name almost calling her Svea, it didn’t matter t' Myla but I felt I should respect her wishes “When I got back she was like this and I don’t know what t' do, I don’t know what happened t' her. I almost didn’t recognize her in t' halls, especially when she goes by a different name.” “fuck.” “Yeah.” We sat there for awhile just staring at the musty old storage room around us and the old swimsuits before eventually starting our plan of wooing Svea back.

I was Walking down The hall like normal Heading to class again, Leah was to my left, I noticed Someone else next to me, I turned Slightly and saw beautiful Raven hair I walked a little faster I did not want to talk to her Now or ever, she didn’t get it. I Saw that she also picked up speed So I slowed down, she also did. “Ok, what do you want?” “To talk to you.” “I don’t want to.” “Please? We haven’t talked in two years Sam.” “Oh, and that's My fault?” “No.” I pulled at my hair and rushed away from her and waited At the next class for Leah. I hate her.

“Plan doesn’t work, time t' give up.” I said to Myla, eye-fockin' Sam from across the lunchroom. “ Stalking her in the halls once doesn’t count as a try.” “Yeah it does! I did a lot of hard work!” “You walked next to her for two minutes and then asked to talk, then she turned you down and you left. Hmmm, yes, I see, you just won over her heart.” “Grr.” “ Just say hi, give her a friendly wave. Start out platonic and work from there if she ever bothers to talk to you, and that's how it should be, her talking to you. Please don’t go up to her and start a heavy conversation again.” “I technically never really had a conversation with her.” I said with a smile “Or try to.” Myla responded not moving an inch (figuratively, we were walking). ”Also don’t go crazy, you are really awkward around her. Don’t go overboard on a simple wave.” “Come on, have some faith in me!” “Ok, she is looking over right now, just smile at her.” I tossed a smile over t' Sam but Myla smacked me in the back of the head. “You look horrendous! What kinda smile is that?” I rubbed my neck and glared at Myla. She didn’t have to do it so hard. Myla gestured back at Sam again who was holding back laughter. I made a face at Sam and she quickly tried to look serious. But we both ended up laughing. It seemed like a great start but then I saw the druggie whisper something to Sam and she immediately stood up and carried both of their stuff as they left the lunchroom. The next days were mainly the same, sometimes Sam never seemed to see me, or anyone besides the druggie. Just staring, into the void, the blue in her eyes was silent and screaming at the same time. It hurt me to see. On other days she just glared at me. But slowly the days where she smiled back, however meekly, started t' outnumber the glares. I still didn’t know what t' do about the void though, no matter how much progress I had with the glares, she was still fifty-fifty with the darkness. It was my fault that she was like this, we shouldn’t have kissed, I shouldn’t have left her to herself, to the world. She faced it by herself and lived, she did not overcome it though, and it was all my fault. We should have faced it together, but instead I left her. I abandoned her.

“I’m going to regret this aren’t I?” “OMGOMG! No! Of course not! Sit, sit!” “Sera, you need to stop. I’m Myla by the way.” I shook Myla’s hand “Sam, but you probably’ve heard About me before…” I trailed off, I knew I had a reputation. “I’ve missed you so much!” the normally really still Sera Bounced a little in her seat for some reason, “She’s Been waiting for this for a while.” Myla explained “Hey! Have not! I just finally got my friend t' Sit next t' me at lunch!” Sera tried to say. “Exactly Sera.” Sera frowned and looked Down at her lunch “What happened to you Sera, I was always the hyper one. You look like You downed two coffees!” I joked even though it Hurt that she wasn’t the same little girl hiding in a corner with A book. “Speak for yerself! I barely recognize ye!” I smiled with Sera even though it was the truth. I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror. “How’s yer family doin'?” Myla kicked Sera under the table and she immediately tried to take it back, but my face still crumpled and fell for a moment, I recovered as fast as I could, Feelings are for the weak. I interrupted Sera before she could stumble around for five minutes trying to think of something to say, I was always the talker and when I was quiet, she tried to Be the talker but she would always fuck Up just like this. “Ma and Papa are in Sweden right now.” I weakly smiled and forced myself to make it look real. I hurt again as I realized I had Become quite good at this. “Leah decided to stay Home today.” “That’s yer Friend wh-that's the Friend you normally sit With right?.” Sera almost said The one who smokes. I used to get mad Whenever someone said anything like that but By now both Leah and I had gotten used to it. “Yeah she is, she always sits next to me, And yes she does marijuana.”

[survivorindia]

Episode 1-Queen Maple Syrup Chugger Liam

Liam's on the other tribe. </3 Hopefully I will be reunited with Queen Maple Syrup Chugger Liam and we can rule this game before I live up to my villain role and backstab him. :D Also meeting people is annoying, we're all so fake to each other and we know it.

Lol I'm being so fake to someone. I'm talking to them about not liking fake people while I'm being the fakest ho out there.

MMMMMMMM so Ruben and Alexis are dating outside the game. Don't mind me, I'm just on the edge of spilling some tea. I C O N I C.

Tbh I'm probably out, Lexi knows too many damn people.

Let me just say that Robin is amazing and I'm her #1 fan  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWizmnr8Ylc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc7x7gO4FDs

So first opinions of my tribe? Dry.. I've talked to Dom who seems nice & he's the person out of everyone who I could see myself most working with. Ruben's pretty cool but everyone else just seems blah.. I just hope that we can liven this tribe up a bit just so that we can get this challenge done.. I'm throwing out suggestions & kinda sorta trying to lead my team this week but no ones responding. If we end up at tribal i swear to God.. anyways, thanks to Bernel, who's a good friend of mine outside this game, I know a good amount of tea about his tribe.. like how he plans on alligning with Jordan & Jaiden & one other person from his tribe. He said that Jordan wants to eventually work with some newbies, so my game plan at this point is to try and form a good connection with Dom, so he & I can be the newbies Jordan, Bernel & Jaiden work with.

So my tribe is heading to the first tribal council, surprise surprise, and yes I am feeling extremely nervous cause who wants to be the first person to go home? 24th place? That's flop status.. but anyways, I'm hoping that since Dom & i promised to have each other's backs I'll be safe. I just have to figure out where the rest of the tribe stands BUT NO ONE TALKS TO EACH OTHER!! Dom & i want to get either Lexi or Ruben out because we've both heard from multiple people on the returnee villains tribe that they're dating. And dating means alliance and anyone who isn't in an alliance with me is an enemy. Ruben was trying to pick my brain & find out where I stand with my vote, but how am I supposed to turn the tribe against his girlfriend without him finding out?? Things are about to get interesting.. hopefully

Ok so things just kinda got messy.. after talking to Casey & Lexi, i learned majority of the votes are going to Aidan tonight. So me being the messy bitch that I am.. I went & told Aidan because I want Lexi gone. He says he's on board with voting Lexi off, but even still that would only be three votes for her & then most likely three votes for Aidan. Dom is currently trying to get Casey on board but I just don't know if it's gonna work.. I really think Casey & Lexi are cliqued up & since Lexi & Ruben are together that makes three for their side. I don't know.. it all lies on Casey at this point & if somehow I end up going home tonight then so be it.. I went out swinging & trying to take my target down & that's good enough for me.

I'm very very upset because I'm pretty sure Aidan is going home tonight & even though he's not really an ally, he is a vote. However,  he's messy as fuck.. he told Lexi that I agreed to voting off Casey & then asked him to talk to her & Ruben about it.. EXCUSE ME? That never happened & like.. what person wouldn't ask the person they're about to start a rumor about for permission first? Especially if my ass is trying to save you.. he just definitely could have handled that better. He said it was to throw her off or something like no, that's just messy. Anyways, even though Aidan is going home tonight both Lexi & Ruben approached me about the rumors & assured me they weren't true.. & I assured and lied RIGHT BACK TO THEM that I believed them. & I think they trust me so at least I'm on the good of the majority.

So first confessional! Hello I love my tribe, it's super cute super friendly I know that if we get going to tribal though I am definitely the weakest link and gotta go. We have jaiden who is amazing, Jordan spines what an icon, Julia the Wiccan? My fave. Nobody is realistically gonna vote out anyone but me. So I'm really hoping that we keep slaying these comps until we merge or swap or what not and that the newbie should keep flopping. 

Hello I'm bacc, I guess it's time I make a confessional 👀 I'll do a tribe assessment tru Alex- kweent! They hosted the game I won so an icon truly ! Ashley- I'm on the fence w her bc I feel like she doesn't like but only time will tell suppose Kendall- icon !!!!!!! I love ha so much! Realistically if I were to make a f2 deal it'd be with Kendall, like I trust ha a lot more than the others Gav- WHEW I've already had a couple convos with this icon and honslee I can see myself working with them, Me forgetting the last person skdbsk oh yeah Ace- to trust his ass or to not trust his ass that's the question. I know ace can be sneaky so like ????? He could try to clocc me at any second Anyway I like this tribe overall and I think I've already made a solid alliance with Alex gav and Kendall so hopefully it lasts! Anyway I'm trying to do this challenge but like no! One! Is! Making! The! Doc! Viewable! On! Mobile! Like how is a bitch supposed to contribute when they're not letting me contribute Godt! Anyway I saw chicken nuggets on the list so like guess who's going to McDonald's after work :~)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bA23P2H2PA4

Whoa, I'm a nice guy I guess. I wouldn't call myself a hero so much as wimpy underdog that smells like french fries. But oh well, it'll be fun to see what I can do to destroy this Good Cop vs Bad Cop routine down the road :~). These people can't talk for shite! I can see why we're not villains because the best villains can actually like work a decent social game, not just half heartedly agree to everything I say. I've had better conversations with Gavin and Alex than with Whitney and Robin already lmao... at least Liam can hold up a conversation for something. Anywho, let's see how this goes... maybe I caught them at a bad time but I could be in a group with people with lousier social games than I! Which, I mean, isn't necessarily a bad thing but it'll probably be boring if people talk like this for a long while... I just really want this honeymoon period to end so I can stop suffering!!!

This challenge is pretty good for a guy like me, assuming I have like half of the shite there. Since it's the first challenge, if we happen to lose, all that matters is that you contributed. And I've already done like a sixth or fifth or something of the total amount so if I can find more to shove in, I think I'll be able to roll through this round A-OK. Steven, Robin, and Liam are the three I like the most so far. Whitney seems cool but it felt like she didn't want to talk to me yesterday so idk with her and Lexi idek it's like she over exaggerates stuff and that's a pet peeve, yo. Hopefully we can all become chatty because it just feels so slow... I hate the honeymoon of ORGs, these first days honestly SUCK in everything since nobody wants to do anything rippo.

Yiiikes, we lost. Our tribe isn't overly social so I'm not sure what's the happenings right now, but it looks like Steven's the one who's talking the most. I'll wager he's safe and he's pretty cool, so I'm fine with it even if he's the one wielding all the power. Lexi is talkativeish too, so she should be fine. Whitney's active enough in the tribe chat so she may make it through, not sure on people's perceptions of Robyn all too much... tbh I think Liam's in a baaaad spot here. I don't recall him helping much with the challenge nor do I think he's integrating amazing well which sucks because I can use Liam out here. I can say I helped with the challenge, but even then, I'm not sure if I have a strong enough social game to slide by without my name appearing in somebody's mouth. I'm not a social sorta guy but I'm not doing myself any favors out here. Hopefully Liam isn't going, and I can rise to the top with him here. Hopefully...

*sigh* Liam got brought up... he needs to get on and save his ass. We need a new target, it's his only chance... Though I'm not throwing my game away if he ain't gonna give two shits js

AHHHHH I got the TARGET SWITCHED I think. WHEW! Basically, I had to resort to all necessary measures I could. I went hunting and found some TEA - apparently Lexi and Ruben from the newbie villains are/were dating. How interesting. I took this and slid into Liam's PMs and told him to swing Whitney before the others could. He succeeded - she came to me and said she was down to vote Lexi! Then I went and swung Robin and I think we're both working on Steven now... this might be unanimous now... I am actually shook by how I turned the target so quickly. I just hope I'm not screwed and being duped.

I think Steven's expecting me to vote Liam out but highkey I already voted Lexi what to do what to do

HONESTLY if this works out I'm down for a Whitney-Liam-me alliance we'd rock this game whew. All that we need to do rn is make sure Robin is locked down and then Steven has put himself in one baaaad spot. I'm also fortunate that Liam's still going to be the target of Steven's mind so I can avoid the spotlight again and just do what I can to settle down the others :~)

Warning, the video is ear cancer, but... *long, drawn out, annoyingly squeaky screaming noise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvL8kLB39aw

This tribe is so quiet or they just don't talk to me I'm definitely worried about tonight very good chance I'll be the going home but I'm gonna try to talk with Jonny and Liam and see if I can figure something out to stay

Soooo as of the moment I feel alright unless everyone is lying to me I feel like I have a good chance to stay in the game. It seems like Liam and Lexi are the targets and unless Lexi comes on and starts talking to me finally that's how I plan to vote tonight 

I.. am so happy about this. First of all HELL TO THE O BITCH. So I thought I would start out badly since I wasnt here for the review because bad day, bad karma from stupid hexes. So I love this whole Hero VS. Villains twist, and the whole semi one world tribes! So my villains tribe I LOVE IT! Sarah, I feel I can trust, I love Jaiden, and I love Jordan and I feel like Jordan and Sarah will work together well, and I can work well with Sarah. So I hope that we can work really well in the tribe. More later!!!

So like I am stressed. I have no clue what so ever if I am that stable in this tribe anymore. I previously thought I was, but I was just informed by Sarah that there is an alliance. She was told by Jordan, that Bernel made a meninist alliance of him, Jaiden, and Jordan. And than Bernel now got the audacity to say that he thinks that he can pull me in. First of all, that kinda messes with my game Bernel like, now you are going to have Jaiden, Sarah, and Jordan possibly question me being trustworthy. I feel like Sarah knows that she is my ride or die, and that I completly trust Sarah the most out of this game. And it is 100 percent true, I won'the be going against Sarah, but everyone else? Be prepared. Anyway, because of this new alliance I am questioning Jaiden loyalty because he never told me, or Sarah about it. Only Jordan told Sarah. And Jordan obviously trusts Sarah more than me, which could be a potential problem. I know that because Jordan approached Sarah, and hasn'the told me a thing. Than we have Bernel, who thinks I trust him, but probably he wants to backstab me. And than Nicole honestly is on the outside and hasn'the caused any problems. This is so stressful. I'm so greatful that our tribe isn'the going to tribal, because it would have been absolute hell.

Well, I don't really know anyone on my tribe besides Lexi, which means I definitely have to start talking to people and getting on everyone's good side. UGH.

Whew, so I know its been a bit into the game and this is my first confessional but I promise I'll make more later. So this one just going to recap everything that happened in the first episode. Low key this is a shitty tribe. Like when I think of big villain names these do not come to mind. Like okay, obviously I am Jordan Pines Evil SupremeTM but like literally the only other person on this tribe who I am like you are actually a known villain is Jaiden. Like Bernel, Who? Sarah, not a villain. Nicole, is literally a hero and Julia is like a maybe idk. Like Kendall and Karen who are on the heroes tribe should have been on the villains. Like come on people. Anyways. I am currently aligned with a lot of people? Like Me and Jaiden,  Me and Sarah, Me and Bernel, Me Bernel and Jaiden, Me Jaiden and Sarah. And like i am close with Julia and Nicole just conversation wise. Whew its a lot. The good thing is that despite how big of a narcissistic asshole I am, I am not the biggest ego on this tribe. The great thing about this reject villains tribe is that everyone wants to prove themselves as deserving people of being villains and are like trying to control things already. Jaiden clearly wants to be the leader and its like have fun buddy. I've been there done that not happening this time. We won the challenge which was fun and then I contributed the most to the challenge and got an idol clue. How cute is that. I found the page like instantaneously and now am doing like grid guesses. Then my good hot friend Dom on the newbies is like hey I got an idol clue, and im like no way girl me too. It's the same one but I am pretending that I havent found the grid yet so that maybe in an hour or so I will triumphantly "find it" and share it with Dom. So ya, that everything happening so far in the life and times of Jordan Pines. I may be on a tribe of assholes, but no fear. I am Jordan Pines. I am King of the Assholes.

Of course I'm in a game with fucking Ace and Jordan Pines. I love when the trash take themselves out!

Dom is so hot  b y e

I take back what I said about Jordan Pines. He actually isn't that bad so far, and I guess there's an unspoken alliance between myself, Julia, Jordan, and Sarah. I like this foursome and I also really like Bernel, too. Nicole on the other hand... girl...... I don't know what it is about her but I just can't trust her for the life of me. Bernel and Nicole are close outside of this so my prediction is that they'll stick around unless one of them goes home soon. Hopefully we don't go to tribal anytime soon though because I don't want the risk of me going out premerge AGAIN to ever come to fruition. On the other hand, Nicole needs to go now versus later because she's made the merge before and she's gotten to the finals twice. No offense but I don't need this to be a three-peat. Dom is the only newbie that I've talked to since the game has begun, and although I know Lexi and Casey outside of this, I feel like he's closer to me than I am with them already. He's a really cool dude and I get the feeling that everyone else agrees with me. He is really charming and flirtatious and it's like... woah calm down there but I think it's just his way of proving that he isn't a "villain". He talks about doing really well in ORGs so if this is his strategy, it seems to have worked for everyone else so far. Anyways Dom just revealed that he hates Kait and I won't stand for this slander >:( 

Okay so I made a video confessional but it's uploading, so I will link to it below and then talk about it. 

 https://youtu.be/2ZQ1iepS3IY 

 After I recorded this, I went and talked to Casey. She told me she's in a tight foursome right now and that they're all voting together tomorrow, which means that I was probably wrong about what I thought. I don't know who the four could be but it's evident that Dom has something to do with it, and she later confirmed those suspicions. He's in complete control of that ugly ass tribe and that SCREAMS danger to me. I need to alert people to that soon because if he got the idol clue like I'm suspecting, then that's even more dangerous. I tried to tip Casey off to this, but I don't think she trusts me enough with that information so I let it go. I need to not make myself blatant about who I'm after this early on in the game, so pretty much that entire video I just recorded? Pointless. I think a good move is to just kiss up to Dom. If he wants to pretend that I'm his boyfriend, then I'll go ahead. Let him think he can control me, I guess... but that's not the truth. I know what's good for me and it isn't him. yikes he's going to be SO MAD when these confessionals come out and he sees that this is what I'm saying about him...sorry man! but ur a threat! :~) Like I said, stick to the plan. Play it safe. Work on relationships with Julia and Nicole as well as tend to relationships with Bernel, Sarah, and Jordan. Focus on Kharab before I start to involve myself in newbie drama... yuck. Dom's still a threat! I just can't be on his bad side this early.

I told Sarah about Dom's idol clue. Because Dom gave me the idol clue. So now it's four people looking for it, and I think Sarah found it...

So the game started and cast was revealed with 4 tribes. I was totally thrown into this last minute but that doesn't mean I'm not going to give my all. However I do already have one regret. I should have created a fake account lmao. I didn't expect people to know who Lexi and I were and now there is already a target on both of our backs because people know that we are dating lol. I'm more concerned for Lexi on her tribe because she's on a tribe with Whitney and Gavin who BOTH know that we date. On top of that I know Whitney is really good friends with her ex so that doesn't help her case at all. However Lexi is a good social player and if anybody can get out of it, it's her. My strategy for now is to lay low. Obviously my number one goal is working with Lexi however I'm still trying to make some settle connections with some people on my tribe. I don't know a lot of people in this game and the ones I do know outside of Lexi are not good friends of mine lol. However I'm hoping that could be used to my advantage because where there are good relationships, there are some bad relationships too. I just need to bank on that and let someone take a strike on someone else. 

Johnny and I are hitting it off quite nicely...Gavin's a bitch talking about my close friend like he won't succeed, and everyone else besides Johnny on my original tribe of 5 sucks at talking. We're fucked 10 minutes in. And baby, I don't have time for that now.

Why in god's name am I a HERO I'm DISGUSTED by that word.

I'M STUCK ON A TRIBE OF AMERICANS SEND HELP.

FLIPPED IT DADDY. I AM N O T A HERO AHAHAH

SUCK ON THAT, STEVEN. 

I AM BACK FOR THE FOURTH TIME!? WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED. I should really start loving myself more but clearly I can't get enough. Clearly I am on the Villains tribe, which I knew was going to happen ...and along with me on the tribe is Jordan Pines, Jaiden, Julia, Bernel and Nicole! Honestly people are probably thinking that I would hate my tribe but I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! I WAS BLESSED!!! I LOVE 3 out of the people on my tribe and with me thats majority and all of those three want to work together with me like...........can we talk about how amazing that is. This twist is so cute because I get to talk to all the villains on the season because we share one beach so yall are going to get first impressions from the people I have talked to last night and today! We did a villains beach call last night and it was super fun btw so im glad im playing again and whew im ready Jordan Pines: We know each other in the community, and we're in Sweden together in our swapped tribe rn so I'm so down to play with him and we get a long gr8 [2017-02-03 5:23:27 PM] Jordan Pines: I'm just dead at this [2017-02-03 5:23:31 PM] Jordan Pines: Same tribe fuxk [2017-02-03 5:30:40 PM] Jordan Pines: Like low key can we have a final 2 here I need to make single digits in a season Julia: I love her so much, we played in Bangladesh together just recently, and yea I voted her off but I'm so excited to see her! Shes also crazy which I love and she wants to work together too! [2017-02-03 5:23:39 PM] Sarah: julia [2017-02-03 5:23:42 PM] Sarah: queen [2017-02-03 7:45:30 PM] julia: WE ARE ON A TRIBE [2017-02-03 7:45:40 PM] julia: This makes me feel so much better [2017-02-03 7:45:57 PM] julia: I'm gon b very loyal 2 u Jaiden: He's hosting me in Atomic Survivor rn, and we've always talked outside of games and always connected. He worries me because he might be a little neurotic ...but hes the puppy of our tribe so ill train him well ;) Nicole:  Shes so pretty! We havent talked yet but she seems so nice i am dead. Bernel: We have barely talked but Jp,Jaiden and Julia all like him...so thats good and bad at the same time that hes so well liked...so ill just keep talking to him I guess :) Dom: The ONLY newbie that came on the villains beach call yesterday and hes so cute I really like him and I can see him and I working together if the cards allign! Thats basically it but I saw that Kendall, and Karen are on the heroes tribe and they're both from the rogues tribe from r&r and so was I so basically idk how thats gonna go over with them but I would be down to work with both of them if we all three make swap/merge.

Of all the Wiki players, you picked Aidan, Johnny, and Liam. I'm disappointed in you hosts... c'mon now. Anyway, everyone seems cool ^___^ Karen seems to know Kendall which puts me on edge, but let's hope for the best!

IN ADDITION TO THE WIKI PEOPLE, WE HAVE AAO PEOPLE... AND THEY DECIDED TO CAST A COUPLE?! https://www.facebook.com/ruben.colon.182 LEXI AND RUBEN ARE DATING AND IN THE SAME GAME. OH.MY.GOSH. HOW IS THIS A THING Also, Alex and I seem to already getting close :) I love everyone on this tribe except for Karen and Ace, thus far ^__^

First impressions: Alex - Trustworthy in the short term; extremely social Karen - Slimy; messy; manipulative Kendall - Outgoing; convincing Ace - Reserved; furry (?) Ashley - Trustworthy; cutthroat

Ashley hates Karen Karen hates Ashley and Ace Kendall is hitched to Karen Karen is hitched to Kendall but very very badly trying to make it seem like Alex and Kendall are tight, and it would be a good idea to ally with the that pair (given that Karen and I are now a pair?) All in all, I trust Alex the most. I don't want to share with anyone the info everyone is feeding to me because I may get Cesternino'ed out of the game (aka, everyone teams up on the person who is playing the middle). I'd love to see every self implode as I facilitate the implosion! Ace also loves the fact that I love his furry fandom! But... he's lowkey freaking me out >,>

Just got off call with Alex, and this is where I see the game as it stands at the moment: Kendall and Karen are a duo, but Kendall's social game puts Alex at ease. That puts me in a compromising position, as I want to keep Alex safe but take out Kendall. At the same time, I've worked to solidify a bond with Ashley and pulled strings behind the scenes to ensure Ashley trusts Alex and Alex trusts Ashley (ensuring that Alex won't vote Ashley out). Ace and Karen are also on good terms with me, with Karen and I having formally called it an "alliance." I have been added into "The Cult Alliance," consisting of Karen, Alex, and *shivers* Kendall... but the main takeaway from all of that is the fact that I was last added. It is clear as day that I cannot trust Kendall in the long-term, and as such, I would like to take her out... but that's tricky business with Alex trusting her so much. I feel safe going into the first tribal (that is, if we lose immunity), and as it stands right now, here is who I trust from most to least: 1. Alex 2. Ashley 3. Karen 4. Ace 5. Kendall 6. Bran

This group is great. I'm in love with everyone on this team. They're all fantastic human beings. I clicked with Gavin immediately, and I knew Kendall/Karen already. We're in a group called The Cult, and it couldn't be any better. I just feel really comfortable with all of them.

Let me make something completely clear, I dislike old people. Well, not all old people, some can be really nice or funny, they don't even need a leathery face or scurrilous for me to consider them old. When person is considered old, in my opinion, when they don't stop saying shit like 'back in my day'. Whether they are 99 or 32, the moment they say "back in my day" they earn the title of old person. Now most of you may be wondering "Kendall what the fuck? What does this have to do with India?" Some of you have already accepted I'm spaz who never really gets to the point. My reasoning for this non sequitur is because I want you to understand, how bad doing this challenge has come to. Because back in my day, when we did the scavenger hunt we were competing against robots and they did all the fucking categories before the deadline. Like seriously, aren't heroes supposed to be hard working or some shit like that? Even more evidence that the tribes were picked by a hat draw. :P Technically speaking, as of now three people are doing the scavenger hunt; Alex (who only put down one), Gavin (who put down two but still got a considerable amount of points), and me (who did a lot of shit, mostly pertaining to making an ass of myself on camera). I don't doubt  that the others will eventually get shit done but I'm worried they will be too late and we will be beaten by robots... Again! I mean if we do lose, I have the argument I did more than everyone. Though, I'd try to say it in a less cunty way. Emphasis on try because I am basically a child who doesn't understand basic communication. 

Alright so I am a flop and have not made one of these yet... oops. So to start off, I like my tribe a lot, I seem to have a lot in common with the other hero returnees. I really like Gavin, and he has said to me that he would like to be able to work with me throughout the game and I am like hell yes. Alex likes me, which is nice, Gavin told me so, haha. Gavin just says that Alex wants to talk to me more so I will get on that. I don't really get a good vibe from Karen, idk. It could be that I like just voted her out of a game and idk if she will hold that against me so I guess we will see. Haven't really talked to Kendall, oops. Ace seems really cool, he has a lot of doggos and I am in love with all of them. Oh also I found an idol already. There hasn't even been a tribal yet and I have an idol. I got my tribe the most points in the scavenger hunt and got a clue for a reward. I found the place where we had to search for idols and found one on the first try. There was like a bunch of blocks and I had to choose one and I found an idol on the first shot. Like what am I? A goddess.

Okay so here is my first confessional and I guess I’m supposed to talk about the tribe and people. Well, they all suck and I hate them for not being able to stick with a decision. I like Ruben but Jaiden is telling me that everyone thinks we’re a couple which isn’t true at all. If I get voted out over a lie THAT stupid, I will never play again with these weirdos or come back to these games. Dumbasses! I did the second most things in the challenge and if they really love losing then might as well vote me out! Dom is such a snake, he talks to everyone and then doesn’t give any information out. Sorry but who do YOU think you are? I’m not bowing down to your feet. I talked to Aidan and told him people were saying that he was the target and then he took FOREVER to reply as if he was asking people what to say to me. Sorry for being honest and trying to save you? If you want to leave, BE MY GUEST. Then we have our all around useless tribe member Monte trying to go around and be annoying when they couldn’t even do the fucking challenge. Sorry but your ass doesn’t get a say, sit down, shut up and listen to what we want you to do. I wanted their ass to go this tribal. They’re literally useless; not good at challenges, didn’t talk to anyone until today, and is most likely aligned with the other people who played Agrabah on the returnee villains. I have no idea why they would tell me they played that game when there’s so many of them here. Casey has not been online all day and from her last night I heard Aidan, but she took so long to reply, I fell asleep. She was like “lol Aidan is the vote!” and then I asked this morning if anyone else agreed… she gave her patented short reply! “Everyone agreed” My paranoia is obviously taking over and maybe I’m fine but the way these people are acting, it seems as if I’m being voted out. Ruben thinks “oh no, we’re ALL good” and that more than one person couldn’t POSSIBLY lie to us. LMAO Give me a break. Aidan pretending to talk to Monte and then Monte saying that they never talked???????? Wonder why! Monte is either lying to cover their ass for playing all sides and Aidan is going or they are all voting me. Casey won’t get online Ruben is too optimistic Aidan is a big fat liar Monte is fake Dom… thinks he runs the tribe Watch me not even get voted out and look like an insane person, which I mean, I am? Aidan is getting voted out according to everyone and he’s acting so suspicious and doesn’t want to do anything about it. I have so much more to say but I’m just going to hope for the best that I’m still around and try to get it in for the next confessional.  I’m forgetting so much but it’s time! I’ll have conversation screenshots for next time hopefully to show you how everyone is acting like a lunatic. Me, included. I can’t wait to go next tribal for acting like a psychotic person this time. I hate myself so much.. I had so much more in this before I accidentally deleted it but oh wells.

I am so excited about this! I have never played before and I'm glad to be representing the heroes. I talked to most people on my tribe and they all seem really cool. Lexi and Steven have given me the best vibes so far. I'm hoping I can get some sort of partnership or I think it's alliance that it's called on survivor. This cast is so big it's overwhelming! I'm skeptical about being on a heroes chat. I'm assuming there will be some twists associated with that. I'm going to try to talk to the veteran heroes just in case later tonight. I hope I can do well in the upcoming challenge! Time to go back to socializing

I'm getting really good vibes from my tribe. Everyone is great. I think we're a special group and I hope we can make it far. I feel like I've connected most with Steven so far. He's played orgs before and has been helping explain the kinds of challenges there are. He's been overall very helpful and I really appreciate the fact that he's reaching out to me. I would be completely loyal to him so I hope he trusts me too. Ideally, I want to form an alliance with Lexi and Steven. I'm not sure how close they are but i'm hoping they approach me about it. Also the weird guy...I forgot his name. He's "Poteet" on skype. he's nice. i talk to him occasionally and he's contributed a lot to the challenge. Whitney's been a little inactive. I'm not sure if she's just not been talking to me or it's with everyone else but Lexi said she didnt say much to her either. She did the bollywood dance for the challenge though so she's still being a team player. I think if we lost immunity Liam would get voted off. He hasnt been talking in the tribe chat or to me and Lexi. I'm pretty sure he has not done anything for the challenge either. It's nice to have someone inactive in the beginning. It makes me feel more comfortable going into tribal council. Well, that's all for now. I'll probably make another one of these after immunity results!

okay so im sad we lost immunity. this is my first game and im going to tribal on the first night, yikes! so last night i talked to steven, johnny, and lexi. it seemed like we were all on the same page of voting out liam for his inactivity. this morning, though, johnny and liam informed me that they want to get rid of lexi because apparently her boyfriend is on the villains tribe. i'm stuck because i really like lexi and i promised her i would not vote her out but johnny and liam are making this out to be a very dangerous connection. i'm not too convinced that lexi should leave because of this. if anything, this will help us at merge or a tribe swap. we could get her boyfriend to vote with us. the concept of getting rid of a premade (new term i learned today!) this early doesn't seem too effective since we're all still trying to get to know each other. it'd be great to keep them once we're at merge because they'd be easy targets. I have a feeling liam and johnny are close allies and that's why they're starting this. i'm definitely voting for liam and i will go out of my way to make sure lexi stays. i need to keep the girl numbers up!

this tribal council is going to be so messy. i am pretty sure we're going to rocks. basically, i'm going to be deciding whether lexi leaves or the vote ties. i feel like such a villain because i've been lying to whitney and johnny saying i'll vote for lexi. but i cant vote for her. i promised i wouldnt do it. i guess essentially im being heroic by sticking to what i said first? im not sure. this will be a night none of the viewers want to miss. steven and i are determine not to switch our votes.

Why are Johnny and Whitney like this.....Steven and I locked in our votes first and I thought they would be smart enough not to take the risk of going to rocks. Looks like everyone on this beach is out of their mind. The rock draw will determine who the next two targets are. I'm really hoping Johnny leaves. He's great at challenges but he can be very sneaky and I don't want him as my enemy. I hope this doesn't end up being my last confessional.

ok so these people are already a little nerdy. The only person i'm enjoying right now is Robin k. She or he idk which is really nice and were into the same shows it seems. I dont know how i ended up on a hero tribe lmao but ill take it. Ruben my boyfriend is on the villians tribe and i already got called out by gavin for it. I'm not going to hide it but not going to tell people either. I have to make a tumblr since i didnt already have one. Also this person johnny is talking about dungeons and dragons. I dont think im going to do well lol. Ok thats all for now.

[smolsawyer]

Mafin (Marta & Fina - Sueños de Libertad) - 5/?

-She tried to kiss me. -Kiss you how? -Like a man and a woman kiss. -Are you sure? Maybe she just tried to show a friendly affection and you misunderstood. -She wanted to kiss me on the mouth and I pulled away disgusted. I know what I'm talking about. I should have realized she was not normal after some.. things. -What are you talking about? -I've caught her looking at me strangely sometimes. But since I've never met anyone like that, I didn't know how to spot she is a degenerate. No wonder she's never had a boyfriend. She doesn't even like to date, because she likes women. And the filthy thing though I was just like her. -Watch your language, we don't need to use insults. -Sorry, Mrs. Marta, you have to understand how appalling it was for me to endure her throwing herself at me. -From what you've told me she tried to kiss you, was there something else? -No, no, no it's a figure of speech. But she disappointed me greatly, you know? I thought she was a good friend and all she wanted to do was take advantage of me. -I understand your disappointment. And I also understand that she has been attracted to you and it's obvious she was wrong. -Well, imagine if she made the same mistake with a customer in the store and you would have to get involved. -In the store? -She's sick, Mrs. Marta, she's an invert. -I will talk to her and see how to fix it. -If you go now you can find her in the store, I saw her come in after the break. -I'll wait until after the closing. Petra I want to ask you for your discretion. I don't want this spreading around. -Of course. Thank you for listening to me, Mrs. Marta.