#and DAMMIT I SAID I WONT CRY

[productofaritual]

As much as the DSMP having an amnesia plot as the end sucked, I think some parts really underline the most painful aspect of reading/watching this type of amnesia plots.

They get to live their lives happy and healthy, and you're left to deal with all the emotional trauma.

[normal-internet-user]

the sibling reader stuff is mad dope good job bro, could you do sum like when theyre in middle school and they come home after school all upset and like wont talk to anyone and it turns out, oh no not cool man theyre being bullied. its totally cool if not bro, love your stuff homebre keep it up

I love writing sibling reader, these requests are making me happy!

BAYVERSE BOYS WHEN READER GETS BULLIED

The minute you walked into the Lair, they knew something was up.

You were still wearing your jacket for one,

You always, always took it off before you got home,

No matter how cold outside it was.

The second thing was your expression.

You just looked so...

Defeated.

Leo and Raph were the first to notice,

They shared a look with eachother, they both knew something had happened,

But figuring that out was the easy part,

Gettting you to talk wasn't going to be a cake walk...

"(Name)'s home!" Mikey shouted, jumping up from his spot on the couch, rushing to give you a hug.

The hug that you dodged with a weak smile.

The hug you had looked forward to getting everyday since you were 6.

That's when Mikey knew something wasn't right.

"How was school?" Donnie asked as he walked in, patting your shoulder as he passed.

You winced when his hand came in contact with your skin, laughing nervously.

Now Donnie knew too.

And you knew they knew.

"It was fine." you mumbled, before starting towards your room.

"Where ya' goin', Shorty?"

You sighed lowly, "To do homework."

"You just got home," Leo said, "Why don't you come watch TV with us for a little bit."

You shook your head, your breathing becoming uneven when you felt the tears prick your eyes, "Nope! I'm fine! You know how History is." You laughed nervously, reaching your room and closing the door as quickly as possible.

You tossed your backpack on your bed, shedding off your jacket, wincing.

You went to run your hand over the bruises that ran along your bare arms, pulling away quickly when the touch caused you to whimper.

The tears fell slowly, rolling down your cheeks almost taunting you.

'Some ninja.'

It was back.

That little voice that you hadn't heard in so long.

The one you had tried so damn hard to get rid of.

You slid down to the floor with your back against the door, head between your knees while you tried your hardest not to cry.

A soft knock sounded from behind you, and you held your breath, "(Name)..?" the worried voice of Mikey came from the otherside.

"Uh- Yeah?" you put some false chipper in your voice.

"You ok?"

"Peachy keen, Michel!"

You heard Raph grunt on the otherside of the door, "Dammit (Name), we're not stupid. We know you're lyin'."

You felt a sob build up in the back of your throat, you tried to respond but it felt like something was holding your voice hostage.

"Please just let us in." Donnie begged, and that did it.

You stood up slowly, doing your best to calm yourself.

Your eyes never left your feet as you opened that door,

You felt ashamed.

When you heard nothing from your brothers, you looked up to face them, and you felt the tears begin to fall again.

They weren't dissapointed in you,

They were upset.

They were angry.

For you.

You sniffled quietly and instantly Mikey pulled you in for a hug,

The second his arms wrapped around you the silent tears turned into to full on sobs.

And Mikey held you.

Just like he had when you were younger.

Mikey was doing his best to calm you out of your tears.

Just like he had in that alley oh so long ago.

You felt like you were just a toddler again,

Helpless and scared.

You were shaking, but despite the gut wrenching sobs you let out, an overwhelming sense of relief washed through your body.

You didn't have to keep the secret anymore.

Eventually your crying had reduced itself to sniffles, and you pulled away from Mikey, wiping your eyes while Donnie gently took your arms to examine the bruises.

"Who did it." Leo asked you lowly,

You looked down once again, the shame of being bullied filling you once again, "This clique of jerks. Ya know, the 'popular kids'. They've been picking on me since, like, 2nd grade for not having my bio parents around."

"How the hell do they even know that?" Raph growled out.

You shrugged, wincing when Donnie pressed on one of your bruises, "Some of their parents works in the office, so they knows April isn't my real mom."

Leo sighed, "Is this the first time the bullying has been physical?"

You nodded, "I told 'em to fuck off. They... didn't like that and jumped me after school."

"Have you tried getting staff involved?" Donnie question,

"Yup, but like I said, some of their parents work in the office, so they never get in trouble. I'm just told to stop lying trying to cause drama."

Leo hummed, and you looked up from the floor, "I'm sorry." you said, sniffling, tears welling up once again.

"What?"

"I'm sorry... I tried to stand up for myself, but I'm just not s-strong like you guys.."

Leo shook his head and pulled you in for a hug, "Don't you dare say you're sorry, (Name), because you have nothing you should be sorry for. We'll deal with those kids, just meet us in the nearest alley after school, ok?"

You nodded, "Can we watch Smurfs?"

Raph chuckled and patted you on the head when Leo pulled away, "Sure thing, Shorty."

The next day at school, you were nervous.

Leo hadn't told you his plan, just to meet them in the nearest alley to the school.

The bell rung, and you rushed out of the classroom, you reached your locker quickly and emptied it for the day.

After that, you rushed out the front door as fast as you could.

You were almost off school property when they caught up to you.

"Going somewhere, bitch?"

You looked behind you, seeing Brad and his possy of prep kids glaring snarkily at you.

"Fuck off, Brad." you said, continuing towards that alley.

You felt someone yank on the back of your hoodie, and you whipped around and socked the guy who held it in the face.

After that you took off running, with Brad shouting behind you, "Get back here you fucking bitch!"

You ran breathless into the alley, debating pulling up the manhole cover and escaping, but then the clique walked into the alley way.

Brad grabbed the front of your shirt, lifting you up slightly, "Who the fuck do you think you are, huh, fucker?"

"Our baby sibling."

Brad dropped you and began to frantically search the alley for whomever had spoke.

You felt a hand on you shoulder and turned to see a very angry Raphael.

"The baby sibling you just put your hands on."

One of the girls spotted your brothers, gasped quietly, and then promptly fainted.

You let out a pft-

Before backing up to stand next to Donnie, who wrapped his arm around your shoulder while glaring at the kids.

The prep kids looked just about ready to either faint, or book it out of the alley, but just as they began to run, Leo popped out of nowhere and wrapped his arm tightly around Brad's shoulder.

"Hey, you must be Brad. So a little birdy told me that you've been causing some issues for sweet old (Name) here. For your information, we're their big brothers, and we don't take too kindly to people picking on family."

He shoved Brad forward, with Brad in the other kids looking around in terror.

Raph spoke up, twirling one of his sais around menacingly, "You got one option here, so pay attention. I'm gonna give you all 10 seconds to get down on your knees and beg (Name) for the forgivness you don't deserve, or I'll show ya' what it's like to get beat up by someone bigger than ya', got it punk?"

Brad and his possy immediatly dropped to their knees infront of you, and it took everything in your power to not laugh out loud as they all frantically begged you for mercy and forgiveness and they were so sorry, etc. etc.

"Shut up you blubbering idiots." you said, they immediatly stopped talking, and you turned to face Leo "I wanna go home, do we still have poptarts?"

Leo nodded, and Raph picked Brad up off the ground, "You leave (Name) alone from now on."

Mikey nodded poking him in the side, "Yeah, you don't talk to them, you don't look at them, don't even breath in their direction, got it?"

Brad nodded frantically, and Raph dropped him, and Leo sent him one last glare "Don't say a word of what happened here to anyone, got it? We'll know, and we will find you. Now go."

Without another word, the clique left, scampering down the sidewalk like some terrified rabbits.

"Now let's get you that poptart, Shorty."

.........................................

And voilà! I hope you guys enjoy this one since I really liked writing it! 💕

[venicebitchxxx]

Fire and Ice

Zade meadows x reader 

ZADE IS NOT MY CHARACTER! This is just a fanfiction of h.d carltons haunting adeline turned into a x reader!Sorry Adeline…

TW: Swearing, Dacryphillia, Gun play…,Degradation, little praise, pet names, Handcuffs, fast paced

Word count: 0.6k

I walk home to find another rose on my doorstep Dammit that fucker wont  leave me alone I swear the erectile dysfunction radiates off the roses.

I strom inside and throw it away I am tired of the creepy fuck controling my life I am done, I walk into my bedroom setting my purse down when I hear a a low chuckle my head whips around to see a tall maybe 6’7 man hooded standing the staring at me.

Hi little mouse did you miss me he smiles, I am unable to see his face but his voice comes off husky and low, a wave shock of fear and panic runs through me I am standing there almost feeling stuck and helpless until he walks toward me when i open the door and run. I don't look back and i hear him doing that stupid chuckle again until he said, You can run and hide all you want y/n but if I catch you I fuck you. I ran into the basement hiding in the closet but it's all I could think of. I am too scared to think.

His footsteps were heard from down here. I am coming for you little mouse! I hear him say I bawl up In the closet and cry a little into my hand, I hear footsteps coming down the stairs as the closet door rips open and he is staring down at me with a

wide grin, Oh little mouse dont cry I am not going to hurt you that bad.

I try to escape and he scoops me up like nothing and throws me down, handcuffing me hands above my head to the striper pole in the basement,I am now regretting that drunken purchase.

Let me go you sick fuck! I said screaming tears running down my cheeks. His finger goes under my chin and he kissed my forehead wiping away my tears  “Oh little mouse no need to be so hostile its ok princess.” I love it when you cry little mouse he said with a smile. He takes out a gun and caresses my body with it, I am going to make you cum on it little mouse.

If your going to kill me can I atleast know your name so I can call you other things than the sick fuck you are.

Zade little mouse my name is zade meadows, Now scream my name as I shove my gun in your tight pussy. He lifts my hips up and takes off my pants feeling the cold metal hit my clit, my eyes flutter as I moan gripping onto the pole.

Yes moan for me my slutty little mouse, He moves the gun down and shoves it inside me grinning ear to ear as he trusts the gun inside me, I gasp and moan my legs shaking as the tears come down my cheeks. Yes good little mouse! Cry for me, you're a pathetic whore! I cry harder and scream out in pleasure.

Fucking cum on it now he demands. And My body shakes with white hot pleasure. Good little mouse he praised as he continued to trust the gun in and out of me before pulling it out dripping with my juices. 

He kissed my forehead and uncuffed me as I watched him leave wondering who the fuck is zade meadows.  

[stellawolfearts]

Childhood friends?

To enemies?

To lovers?

…hey, Stella, how about you just rip my heart out now. It would probably hurt less.

///POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR MY PLANS THIS MIGHT CHANGE BUT YEAH HERE YA GO////////

Redson trapped Mk between him and the table, the staff held tightly in Mk's hands between the two of them. Keeping them apart as its golden ends glimmer in the moonlight leaking through the windows

Mk looked up at Redson, Her red eyes glowing in the dark room and fixated on him, her eyes squinted and her dark skin illuminated by the soft glow of both her eyes and the small flickers of light from her hair.

Mk wonders how long it will take for it to engulf completly in flames.

he probably wouldnt be able to tame them this time.

"you understand what this means" Redson said, his words without the tilt of a question, a statement.

"your not stupid Xiaotian, so stop acting like it"

Mk looks down, Redson's chest so close to Mk's hands that hold onto the staff with an iron grip.

He's not scared, no. He could never be scared of Redson hurting him. Not really. He's keeping the staff close and held tightly.

"you know exactly what your doing, you know what it means to hold that staff and stand against me"

Mk looks back up at Red, his ears flick at those words.

"against my family"

Mk doesnt say a word.

"so say something dammit!"

Red's hands tighten on the table, cracking its surface. Mk doesnt flinch.

"....nothing...heh, maybe you are as stupid as yo-"

"i regret this"

Redson's eyes widen. the affect of his hair dimming.

"not picking up the staff, or keeping it away from you. I regret not being there for you when you needed me. i should have tried harder i should have been better"

Redson opens his mouth to speak.

"then again, you were the one to cast me aside first"

Mk looks down, the staff in his hands is heavy.

"and now we're stuck like this because we're both too stubborn for our own good"

Its Redsons turn to be speechless, his hair igniting once again with flames and light. this time it floats strong around her head and illuminates the center of the room where Mk an Redson stand. like spotlight centering on them, because this is thier moment and not a soul would dare to interupt.

Redson grabs Xiaotians chin, Xiaotian doesnt flinch and he doesnt pull away as Red raises Mk's head to hold eye contact.

"if you want to be a hero so badly, ill show you what happens to heros"

"is that a threat?"

"that weapon you hold so close is a threat against my family. only fair that i return the favor"

Mk's eyes widen, his ears fan out and glow thier vibrant colors. just like he's seen his father do.

his eyes glow, golden light as Redson saw in the eyes of the Monkey king as he sealed his father away.

"you are threatening my family, my home...i wont stand by and let you hurt them.

Redson lets go of Mk. his hands let go of the cracked table as he stepped away.

"Leave"

Mk doesnt cry, he doesnt beg for forgiveness like last time. He does nothing as Redson turns to leave.

Its only fair to return the favor.

>:)

[boobersandstuff]

Currently listening to the dear wormwood by the oh hellos for the first time so here's my thoughts on all the songs:

Prelude: good, very much the type of music I like.

Bitter water: WTF!? THIS IS SO GOOD WHAY THE HELL!? WHY DOBT MORE PPL TALK ABT THIS!? do they have vinyls? THIS IS MAKING EXSITED FOR THE REST OF THE ALBUM WTH!?

There beneath: why is this so beautiful!? It's making Wang to cry for some reason ah! ITS SO PRETTY AND IM CRYING WTH!?

In the blue hours of moring: pretty, this entire album thus far is giving fantasy world, comfy fantasy.

Exeunt: if I had a sing for my gender (when I'm masc), it'd this album but definitely this song! Also I read "lovely" in this as "lovejoy" lmao. OH HELL YAH! THIS IS AMAZZING! I LOVE THE KINDA ROCK TO IT AHHHHH (or is it punk? Heh *shrugs*) FUCK YEAH!!!

Caesar: it's so relaxing, like a lullaby. This entire album has been a 10/10 so far HOW HAS NO ONE TOLD ME HOW GOOD THIS IS HELLO!? WHO TF WAS KEEPING THIS FROM ME!? It feels like a song in a part of musical abt either, moments before disaster, or a song abt the last few moments waiting for disaster. It's so nice wth!? It's like the prettiest poetry in song format & fantasy I LOVE IT RAHHHHHHHH.

This will end: ngl this is entire album is giving epic: that new Greek mythology musical. AND I LOVE ALL OF THOSE SONGS SO THATS A COMPLIMENT! also this is so cute & pretty ah! I'm abt to cry again. There is goes. WAHHHHHHHH. :0 WOW THAT ENDING BIT IS JUST....IM STAR STRUCK!!! THATS THE BEST PIESE OF MUSIC IVE EVER HEARD!!! THIS IS SO GOOD WTF!? I NEED A VINYL NOW!

Pale white house: its so pretty! Also I looked it up and just as I thought I can't one T T. God dammit! It's so good and for what!? For what reason did they have to do this!?

Where is your rider: I need all of these to get tiktok famous so everyone who doesn't listen to this album to listen to it cuz ITS SO GOOD AHHHHHH. It's so pretty ah!

Soldier, poet, king: we all know it now, and yeah it's good. But I'm kinda sick of it lmao. Very good, just very sick and tired of it so, SKIP!

Dear wormwood: now let's see the song of the same name of the album. ......wtf, this is so good, like the best song here-HOW!? HOW DID IT GET BETTER!? I LOVE THIS SONG-I LOVE THIS ALBUM!!! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG IN THE ENTIRE ALBUM!!! THE CHOIR WTF!!! SHMSNDJSMNSJDN THIS IS AMAZZING LIKE THIS IS MY FAVOURITE ALBUM OF ALL TIME WTF!?!??!?!?! AHHHHHHHHH. This is my anthem for getting better mentally, THIS IS MY 2023 ANTHEM! YEAH IK KNOW WHO I AM NOW!!!

Danse Macbre: very Dancey, like those tavern Dances or at balls. I might make an entire book fantasy abt this album lmao. This album was made in lab to what songs I think are my favourite and are 10/10-ers. Lol

Thus always to tyrants: this is so good I need to watch animatics/animations to these songs omg! Ah! SUCH A GOOD ENDING SONG!!! I have nothing else to add other than what I've already said, it's so good! Ahhh!

What do I rate this album? 10/10, it's amazing, there's not one bad song! Like even lvjy (my fav band has like 3 songs I skip, mostly cuz I got sick of hearing them lol.) It's so good. 10/10 GO LISTEN IF YOU HAVNT ALR YOU WONT BE DISAPPOINTED!!!

[monamipencil]

op, you genius.

when i tell you this story had a chokehold on me??? this was way too fucking good. the plot, their chemistry, their fucking characters, the ending, THE PLOT TWISTS. everything was so damn good and well crafted?

morally grey characters and unreliable narrators will always have my heart.

the fucking plot. this was perfect from the start to finish. this had me on the edge of my seat at all times. i didn't even suspect the possibility of this ending. you didn't just make her fool the characters but me too??? that's talent. my jaw dropped multiple times while reading this. man, this was such a good read. i got another story to gush about to my friends.

mingyu. i always had an eye out for him. it was so easy to pin it all on him, yk? and i did not fucking see him using her. the chemistry just seemed so genuine that i didnt even suspect. he's so witty and intelligent. i rly loved his char. and he's hot?? ughh. i folded when i read he was wearing a red suit. but shit, he worked so well as a red herring.

oc. man, oc was a wild ride. istg, i felt so much sympathy for her and actually understood her. but i never guessed she would've kill him. what a twist. she was such an enigma too. i love cut throat female leads. her sarcasm, and her no-filter, no bs personality >>> loved her with everything. and i said, i support women's and i support women's wrongs too. like, kill him girl!!

the pairing. hater girl x lover boy (who has a murderous streak.) ngl, the hate game was so hot too. their bickering and undeniable chemistry was hot. and when they started understanding and accepting each other ?? ughh. the fluff was so good. dont even get me started on the smut, dammit. even when it came down to him (initially) trying to pin everything down on her, i just wanted them to talk shit out (she's way too nice and patient, i personally would've poisoned him 🥰) but she was the murderer all along?!?!? yes, i've lost it. and when it just took one glance for them to pounce on the investigator??? ugh the last line was the nail on the coffin. who doesn't love good ol' murderous love stories.

as a crime fanatic and a romanticist, this was everything i've ever wanted. tysm for writing this and sharing this with us!! you're such a genius op, i will look forward to your future writings <3

mingyu laughs when you punch his shoulder, his hand comfortable on your lower back. you don’t swat it away, utterly contradicting your previous words, but you can’t find it in yourself to care that much.

ughhh, the contrast to the last time. they rly grew on each other. i love them so much

you notice a clear difference in his tone, his breathing, his eyes dropping down to your lips — oh, he’s fucking turned on. he knows you want him as badly as he wants you. you both know it.

this scene got me so hot and bothered. their chemistry???

but he does know one thing — he worships the ground you walk on.

asdfghjkl, *squeals and dies*

but you should know by now that all good things come to an end — one way or another.

what? not the foreboding plss. not after that vulnerable scene 😭😭

 i can only think of one person who fits the criteria — his daughter.”

*cues seokmin's betrayed expression from the mafia game*

“it’s not a lie, because i’m in love with you!” he raises his voice in desperation, “i don’t care if you shoot me right here, right now. it won’t change how i feel about you.”

why am i siding for them to get ack together like i wont rip his head off irl?

he could cry the moment you do meet his eyes. it’s like he sees a different version of himself staring back at him. “because you did the right thing. i would’ve done the same. well, except for your little affair with me.”

i've lost it ig. i'm siding with a murderer. but her father was diabolical. and "it’s like he sees a different version of himself staring back at him." 😭😭 nothing more vulnerable than seeing yourself in someone else.

his hand cups your jaw. you can feel his breath on your bare skin, his gaze on your body, shamelessly checking you out before he meets your eyes again. “what we had was real. you make everyone else in my life seem like… nothing.”

lola losing her sanity pt. 3. im just a girl, guys 🎀

“no. because you want me.” fucking hell, he’s pretty sure his sex drive has never been this high before. “so have me, baby. please — i’m all yours.” he rasps, pressing a kiss so chaste to your lips, they barely touch. his hands burn on your skin.

desperate men who'd go to hell and back for you and worship the ground you walk on >>>

“oh, so what?” you shrug, finding the accusation bothersome at best.

WHAT?! IT WAS HER? my jaw is hung open. why tf did i not see that coming. wtf

“what, will you kill me too?” he asks, and when both you and mingyu deadpan a stare at him, he knows the answer.

the plot twists after plot twists?!?! i support women's rights. i also support women's wrongs. kill him girl.

“i guess so.” locking the front door to ensure no one can enter, you cross your arms. “so. are we burning, burying or dumping him in a lake?”

oc is the ultimate girl boss. i love her

after all, love can exist even in the murderous heart.

this is the perfect way to end this story. and ??!?!?! damn, this was a wild ride and i loved it so much.

LIAR, LIAR!

PAIRING — kim mingyu x fem!reader

❝ AND THE DANCE FLOOR IS FILLING UP WITH BLOOD, BUT OH LORD, YOU’VE NEVER BEEN SO IN LOVE! ❞

WORD COUNT — 13.5k

SYNOPSIS — in a dramatic turn of events, a rich businessman is found dead in his lavish estate, and the authorities believe it was no accident. as the detectives dig deeper, they ultimately end up with two key suspects: you, the businessman’s very own daughter, and your sworn enemy, kim mingyu. as the time progresses, tensions rise and secrets spill — and the truth has the power to either bring you closer together or tear you apart.

TAGS — murder mystery, rich rivals to partners in crime to lovers, whole lotta plot, explicit sexual content, somewhat graphic depictions of death, everyone and everything is dysfunctional™, mentions of suicide, unrealistic circumstances, moral compass is nowhere to be found, angst, medium long hair!gyu bc self-indulgence, tsundere-ish reader again guys sorry i love her so bad, mentions of parental neglect, this ended up so long help

♪ verydeadly - wolves (kanye west cover),, low - dancing and blood,, vessel - red sex,, florence + the machine - mermaids,, zayn - bordersz,, mikky ekko - who are you, really?,, q - alone,, danna paola - tenemos que hablar,, blue foundation - eyes on fire (4 ave version),, summer camp - i want you

NOTE — one of my favorite episodes of going seventeen remains bad clue 2020, i loved mingyu’s role in it and i could totally see him portraying darker/morally grey characters and rock tf out of it so. i wrote this solely based on that idea. the music recs above are also really nice to get into the vibe! enjoyyyy :D

[ ONE ] ✧˚ · .⋆ ★ [ TWO ]

viii. I LOVE YOU LIKE A DRUG

november has a harsh cold to it that goes right through the skin of your cheeks. with your long black coat and matching gloves, you walk through the city, heading towards your lawyer’s office.

it’s been a few days since you last saw or talked to mingyu. you’ve been thinking about the kiss constantly, unable to stop it from clouding your mind. it’s hard to believe you hated his guts for years and completely changed your opinion on him within months — he took you by surprise on that. which you’re not sure how you feel about.

it’s as if his handprints were etched into your skin. you can still remember exactly how it felt, where they were. more importantly, perhaps, you know what your mind keeps leading to when the memory runs through your head.

that you want nothing more than for him to put his hands on you again. you want him so much that you have to clench your fists and tell yourself to get it together.

the universe must like to mess with you, as you receive a text from him at that exact moment. stopping in your tracks on the street, you’re just about to read it when you feel a hand on your shoulder.

once you’ve looked up from your phone, you see the devil himself standing there with a meek little smile on his face, which has you scoffing when he greets you. “hi.”

his dark hair is slicked back as he sports a thick winter jacket, jeans and black shoes. god, he’s handsome. why is he so annoying?

instead of responding to his greeting, you just speak your mind. “what’re you doing here?”

“chan mentioned you had an appointment in the neighborhood, so here i am. i wanted to see you.”

“why?”

“what, am i not allowed to visit my partner in crime?”

you purse your lips. “i thought we both agreed on discretion regarding our relationship.”

“and what kind of relationship is that?”

“an understanding.” your response comes out colder than anticipated, but you stick with it. “look, gyu, what we did… we probably shouldn’t do it again.”

he seems surprised. and a little disappointed, which he hides very quickly, but not quick enough.

so he pouts at you, doing his best not to dwell on it. “okay. any particular reason?”

you inhale sharply, trying to give him the best possible excuse you can come up with. “we agreed to keep it professional, didn’t we?”

“we did.” he nods, speaking in a way as if he were focusing on something else. “is that all there is to it? or do you have another reason?”

his gaze is playful, which makes you smile as you look down at your feet for a moment. “i’m sure you can fill the blanks.”

“interesting choice of words.”

“god, you’re such a perv.”

mingyu laughs when you punch his shoulder, his hand comfortable on your lower back. you don’t swat it away, utterly contradicting your previous words, but you can’t find it in yourself to care that much.

two days later, you’re over at his apartment, continuing your research where you left off last week, and you’re not sure if you’re imagining things, but it feels like there is a palpable tension in the air. soft rain taps against the windows while you’re looking at some security footage his friend seungkwan sent over about an hour ago.

with the two of you sitting beside eachother as you’re looking at the screen of your laptop, you find it difficult to focus on the footage, because you feel electrified by his mere presence. it’s ridiculous. he accidentally brushes your knee with your hand, and you feel a rush going through your body. a candle is lit on the table — his tan skin looks beyond beautiful, his brown eyes piercing through yours like never before.

you want him.

you. want. him. and no one else.

it’s driving you nuts, and as if he can read your mind, he begins to talk about it.

“i haven’t been able to stop thinking about our kiss.”

while the footage keeps playing in the background, you bite your lip, sucking in a breath. “gyu.” you say his name in a near scolding manner.

“do you like me?” he suddenly turns his head to face you, which feels borderline intrusive. like he’s able to see everything that’s going on in your head and heart.

it steals your breath, making your voice sound somewhat strained as a result, and you can’t even bring yourself to lie about it any longer. “i might.”

“i like you. a lot.” he says, and when you think he’s getting closer to you, you stand up from your seat, doing whatever you need to do to get it back together. you don’t want him to know how you really feel, so you clench your fists in your place, your back facing him.

“what does it matter? we’re nothing more than partners. that’s all there is to it.”

as you shake your head to yourself, he gets up as well, moving to stand behind you. “is that why you kissed me?”

“it was just the heat of the moment.”

“you’re a good liar — but not that good.” mingyu shamelessly eyes your body up and down, and when you look over your shoulder, he meets your gaze with something that appears to resemble pride, in a way.

arrogance, perhaps.

for whatever reason, that ticks something off in you. “you want me to be honest? fine. i don’t want to like you, mingyu. i didn’t want to enjoy that kiss. i’ve spent years hating you to the bone, and changing that opinion on you feels like betraying myself.”

he blinks at your sudden and blunt confession, but it’s honest and clear to him.

then he nods in understanding.

“just… hypothetically, if i said i wanted to kiss you again, what would you do?”

you notice a clear difference in his tone, his breathing, his eyes dropping down to your lips — oh, he’s fucking turned on. he knows you want him as badly as he wants you. you both know it.

“i’d tell you it was a one-time thing.”

he gets closer to you, eyelids hanging low and the hint of that damn smirk tugging at his mouth. “how about one more? for good measure. just to get our rocks off.”

the proposition is almost laughable, yet you selfishly find yourself agreeing. “just once?”

“just once.” the palm of his hand cups your jaw, and you know you’re done for when you lean in first, causing him to smile triumphantly right before his lips lock with yours.

this is what you’ve both been yearning for the past week. now that you have it, it feels like drugs, almost — addicting.

you kiss him with vigor, and his tongue slips into your mouth, leaving you aching for more. it’s when his hand pulls you closer by your waist that you force yourself to back away from him, both you and him gasping for air.

“gyu, we were supposed to—”

“keep things professional, i know,” he breathes out, his forehead resting against yours as if he has to make the biggest decision of his life, “but i don’t want to anymore.”

his hands are still on your waist, trailing down to the flesh of your upper legs, and he squeezes it, feeling sick at the idea of someone touching you there that’s not him.

“need you so bad. please — let me touch you.”

looking at his desperate form for a moment, you internally decide to go for whatever your body wants — and that’s to have him tonight.

so you roll your eyes, pulling him to you by his black t-shirt, your hands on the back of his neck before he can comprehend it. he hoists you up by the back of your thighs, taking you to his spacious bedroom.

your back touches the soft bed within seconds. his hands continue to glide up and down your body, and he subtly puts his one hand underneath the hem of your shirt, fingers touching your warm skin, and you almost forget to breathe.

mingyu feels your fingers pulling at the waistband of his jeans, and he relishes in how eager you are. he kisses your neck and moves lower painfully slowly, causing you to writhe underneath him, because you need him now.

it’s certainly a first for you to have such a need and desperation to fuck someone. and for him, of all people. if you had known about this in the morning, you wouldn’t have believed it.

but then again, the tension has been brewing between you two for years, reaching its highest point over the last couple weeks.

maybe he was onto something when he suggested for you to fuck him back in the strip club.

his lips are touching your bare stomach, and you show a hint of dominance by undoing the buttons of your pants and shoving down your panties, putting your hand on his head to guide it between your legs.

and he just lets you.

he takes your pants and underwear from your ankles and discards the pieces on the floor, hands on the back of your thighs once more as he pushes them to lean over his shoulders.

the first few seconds are spent basking in his excitement. his heart races when he looks you in the eye, and he grins to himself before diving in.

for some reason, he feels this primal urge to prove himself to you, to make you feel good like no one ever has before.

whatever the hell it is that made him have such a massive change of heart, he doesn’t know.

but he does know one thing — he worships the ground you walk on.

so to hear you gasp and whine for him when he eats you out only spurs him on to keep going, to make it dirtier and messier and keep having you moan his name.

mingyu encourages you to pull on his hair, and with each strand being pulled, he grows harder in his pants. he moans at the pain, humming against your pussy while his tongue is buried inside you.

you’re grinding against his face and he hums again, loving the feeling. “rub it in my face, baby, ‘s so good—” he babbles as his cock is rock-hard and throbbing against the fabric of his jeans, and he rubs his hard-on against the matress to get any kind of friction.

over the course of the years, even while hating him, you wondered if he was good in bed.

you didn’t think your question was going to be answered by first-hand experience.

he’s not only sickeningly good at providing pleasure — he seems to get off on it, too. your fingers clamp on his long strands of hair, thighs around his head, almost suffocating him, and even when you hit your first climax, he just keeps going. his tongue moves as if you’re not completely crumbling before him.

with a sudden sensitivity hitting you, you have to pull his face from your pussy, and he looks at you with lust-blown eyes and your wetness smeared over his lips and chin.

yeah, you fucking like him. jesus.

the little fang-shaped teeth he has show themselves when he grins at the mess he’s made of you. “want me to go again?”

“would you?”

“i’d keep going for hours if that’s what you want.”

pressing your lips together, you inhale deeply, ‘cause he looks like he means it, too. “well, as great as that sounds, i want you in me. now.”

he would’ve had a damn field trip eating you out again, but he certainly won’t complain, because he’s about to bust in his pants from just looking at you. his eyes return to your figure when you take your shirt off, dick twitching when you unclasp your lacy bra and show your completely bare body to him.

“are you just gonna keep staring?” you ask teasingly, and he needs a few seconds to get his brain running again, chuckling at your words before he removes his own clothes, pushing you back to lay you down.

“can’t help that i like what i see.”

you’re about to give him a witty retort in return when you feel the tip of his cock at the entrance of your hole, pushing forward just the slightest bit, and your lashes flutter at the sensation. he bites his lower lip at the feeling, a sudden intensity hitting the both of you.

then he pushes himself inside, inch by inch, achingly slowly. your brows scrunch together and you throw your head back, manicured nails digging into his bedsheets.

“hah—gyu—” you mumble, tension setting into your shoulderblades as he stretches you open, and you’re so tight that he feels just as suffocated as you do.

“fuck, you’re fucking tight.” he huffs out, utterly savoring your wetness wrapping around him. “can i keep going?”

at hearing the question, a breathy laugh escapes you. “how fucking big are you to have to ask that?”

“well, ‘m only halfway in right now, baby.”

fucking hell. the look on your face is borderline horrified, because jesus, you’re gonna need to adjust to him.

he lowers his chest to hover above yours, and your hands immediately move to his back, nails aching to dig into his skin. he’s only focused on your face now, and he pushes himself in all the way, watching your face contort in pain and pleasure.

your body stiffens for a second before it relaxes, and he has to hold down the urge to start moving. “that’s it. took me all the way in,” he mutters, and you nod to yourself, accidentally clamping down on him, at which he groans.

the first movements are small, slow — gentle. you release long, dragged-out moans that are the single hottest thing he’s ever heard. but he needs more, needs to get rid of the little voice in his head to fuck you hard and stupid.

he pulls out almost entirely before slamming back in, and the erotic whine you let out is just too good to his ears.

so he does it again, again, again. he fucks you to the point a different part of him takes over, ruthlessly seeking the pleasure and pain that gets him off like nothing else. he likes it fast, hard, and deep, and by the looks of it, you do too.

you’re clinging onto him with every thrust, every kiss, every moan, and he loves it.

mingyu moans, eyebrows knitted together as he’s hypnotized by the feeling of himself sheathed all the way inside you. “take it — take my fucking cock.”

“mhm. a little harder — please?” you beg, and if he wasn’t in love with you yet, he certainly is now. how on earth do you look as gorgeous as you do whilst half fucked-out, still needing more?

naturally, he gives in to you, doing whatever you ask of him. he fucks you harder, his grip on your waist tightening with each thrust.

you come to one conclusion — you don’t think anyone’s ever fucked you this good.

his mouth latches onto your tits, sucking at your nipples, and you bring his head up to kiss him again. it’s sloppy, and his movements begin to slow a little, your wetness dripping down his cock. “god, you’re fucking perfect.”

“want more, gyu. i want you to cum in me.”

“you—” he stutters out, “you want it?”

nodding at him, you even push yourself against him, his cock sinking just a little deeper into you.

so he fucks you as hard as he can until he feels himself hitting that blissful climax, continuing to roll his hips and stuff you as full of him as possible. then he sits up with a thin layer of cold sweat on his back, and he pulls himself out as slowly as he entered you, watching drops of cum seep out of your hole.

“so much for professional.” you breathe out, after which you both chuckle, and he leans in to kiss you again, and you get on top of him, taking charge, and he shivers in anticipation.

the night becomes an increasing blur with every kiss, every touch, every thrust — it’s hard to say what time it is or how many times you’ve gone at it when you finally let yourself sink into a deep sleep.

when you wake up beside him in the morning, you watch his sleeping form, your heart flutters.

it’s bizarre how he’s made you feel a kind of love you didn’t even know existed before. a feeling of great complexity and intensity that’s settled deep into your gut whenever he’s near.

as if he’s become a part of you that you can’t let go.

checking your phone, you know it’s time to get up, since you’ve got an important agenda today. yet when you try to silently slip away from his bed, you feel a warm hand on yours.

“don’t go.” he pleads, his voice lower and raspier than usual from sleeping. there’s a certain desperation in his now open eyes, and it affects you.

“i have to. appointments i can’t cancel, you know what that’s like—”

but he’s not talking about your day.

“i’m afraid of people leaving me,” he suddenly admits with a shaky tone, “and i like what we have. i like you. i guess i’m scared that… this was just a one-time thing, ‘cause it wasn’t for me. i don’t want to go back to what we were before all of this.”

processing his words, you nod, touching his cheek, reassuring him. “it wasn’t a one-time thing for me, either. you have me, i promise.”

“okay.” he gently smiles at you, his fingers caressing yours, and you lean in to press a kiss onto his lips, which he immediately reciprocates.

you give him a quick goodbye after putting your clothes on, and he’s left smiling to himself in bed while you walk out of his apartment with the same expression.

but you should know by now that all good things come to an end — one way or another.

ix. WHO ARE YOU, REALLY?

the two weeks since your first time sleeping together have been nothing but excitingly ignorant bliss. in between his meetings and family commitments and your meetings regarding your father’s business relations, you’ve been meeting eachother in the middle at every opportunity, the investigation of your father’s death fading into the background bit by bit, getting lowered on your list of priorities.

none of your friends are aware of your relationship – since it’s a secret, and neither of you have really labelled it yet – as far as you know, anyway.

being with him is comfortable to you, and surprisingly enough, he’s the first person who’s made you feel like you could breathe properly after the chaos that your father’s death caused.

“do you really have to go out at this hour?”

“yeah, unfortunately.” he presses a kiss to your lips before pulling his shirt on while you’re still naked on his bed. “i’ll be back as soon as i can, but you don’t have to wait for me, okay? it’s probably gonna take a while.”

with a sigh, you nod, pouting a little. “okay. i’ll probably go take a shower and head home after.”

he kisses the top of your head this time, and it all feels awfully domestic.

but it’s a good feeling.

mingyu takes in the sight of your bare face and body covered in nothing but his sheets, and he feels like things were meant to be like this. like you two were always indirectly tied together, and now this is your reality.

“you’re allowed to stay as long as you want. i’ll call you later, baby, yeah?” he hums against your lips, and you nod, wanting nothing more than to pull his shirt off and drag him back into bed with you.

“mhm. you should go, or you’ll be late.”

he chuckles, his mouth grazing the top of your hand before he exits the room, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leaving you alone in his apartment.

after taking a short nap, you decide to get up and take a quick shower.

this might be the first time you’re completely on your own in his place — so you feel like checking out what he’s got lying around here.

it’s not because you don’t trust him, truly. you just like to snoop around a little, out of curiosity.

you peek into his drawers, his closet, his personal things, except for what he’s got kept under lock and key.

what intrigues you are the clear scratches on the floor by the cupboard. everything in his apartment is perfectly clean and clearly well taken care of, so this makes you raise a brow.

you figure the scratches were made by moving the cupboard to the side, so you do the same thing, trying to see if there’s a particular reason for it.

it’s hard to contain a scoff once you lay your eyes on what is apparently hiding behind it.

a safe hidden behind a cupboard. seriously? did he take inspiration from your father’s office or something? this is starting to get a bit weird.

the safe seems to require a code with six digits to be unlocked, and since the system and mechanics seem on the older side, you doubt it would send off any signals if someone tried out a wrong code.

biting your lip, you give in to your curiosity, and try out a few codes.

a popular choice for codes are always birthdays, often loved ones, and since mingyu is a complete softie in that regard, you figure it might be worth trying out.

you remember his father’s birthday from the tombstone at the graveyard where your father was buried as well. his mother celebrated her birthday last week, so that’s easy.

unfortunately, neither of the codes work.

fuck, what was his sister’s birthday again? you don’t remember. then an idea pops up in your head – she probably made a birthday post on social media at some point. you search the username and scan her profile, and within a minute, you’ve found it.

with your phone in hand, eyes going from the screen to the rotating dials, you enter the code, and the sound of a clicking lock causes your heartbeat to quicken.

it worked.

throwing your phone onto the bed, you open the safe, several items catching your eye.

there’s quite some things in there considering it’s such a small space. some stacks of money, a few vials with clear liquids in them, a gun, a passport with his photo but a different name – what the fuck is this? his backup plan to start a new life in case he needs it? that’s close to paranoid, especially for a guy who seemingly has no enemies.

behind the piles of dollar bills, you find a few old-fashioned cassette recorders stacked up, each of them numbered from one to ten.

as your curiosity gets the better of you once more, you take the recorders out of the safe and put them on the floor, where you sit down to listen to whatever’s on them.

you click the button at the back of the device, noise beginning to crack through the small speaker.

“i know recording myself confessing to something as grave as this could be my downfall, but… it’s something i need to get off my chest. i need to.” your hear him inhale sharply. “i’m setting a plan in motion that will lead to someone’s death. it’s not something i’m proud of, but he’s threatening my family. i don’t know what else to do.”

your eyes widen as you listen to the rest of the tape. he’s talking about killing your father, using a poison to take him out. once it’s finished, you look for the second tape with shaky fingers.

“getting it done shouldn’t be hard. the real issue is having an alibi, and if necessary, i need someone to put the blame on. the death of someone as important as him will draw attention, so should they assume he didn’t die of natural causes, they’re gonna want to convict someone. i can only think of one person who fits the criteria — his daughter.”

it’s like the confirmation you’ve been waiting for. this is what he’s been hiding all this time. of course he didn’t want to help you without an ulterior motive.

your heart breaks the moment he says it. just how much of a fool have you been?

“we’ve always hated eachother. looking back, i’m not sure how it started, but it did. she’s the only one who could have a solid motive. i don’t want to frame her, or anyone for that matter, but if the police decide it’s not an accident, i’ll have no other choice. maybe her lawyer can find a way around it.”

tape three.

“the plan is to pretend i have a lead on the killer when i’m actually planting fake evidence to make her seem like the culprit. i talked to her in the graveyard today, but she completely lashed out at me. it’s hard to tell who she hates more — me, her father, or herself. though i didn't know her hatred for me ran this deep, nor that she was this lonely. i kind of feel for her.”

tape four.

“she just agreed to be my date to the gala next week, though she's certainly not thrilled about it. understandably so, i guess. she's quite intimidating when she’s mad. maybe i should take notes, seeing how she always stands so firmly on business.”

tape five.

“i didn’t think she’d go as far as to go through my room. she’s more determined than i gave her credit for. god, i could barely keep it together when she said whoever killed her father did her a favor. it’s maybe the only good thing about this whole mess. i wanted to scream, tell her that it was me who did her that favor.”

tape six.

“leave it to her to interrupt a stripper’s lap dance and take me with her instead. the man taking money out of her father’s account was hired by me — i needed to subtly prove to her that it couldn’t have been me, ‘cause i was at the other side of the city when it happened. i was curious to see if she’d take the bait, and she did. she mentioned something about wanting someone who would let her be… uninhibited. it scared and surprised me; mostly because i want the exact same.”

tape seven.

“we broke into her father’s office together. it was… thrilling. exciting. she keeps surprising me with how daring she is. somewhere underneath that hard surface hides someone who’s aching for adventure, i think. maybe we’re more similar than i thought. and she’s so clever, i just—i like her. like, platonically, of course. we work well together. i should probably be more careful, try not to get too close. who knows what that might lead to.”

tape eight.

“i kissed her. i fucking kissed her. well, she kissed me first, but… i kept it going. not just a little peck, no, a full-on makeout session. it was… the type of kiss they talk about in the romance novels. i’ve never felt that big of a need to kiss someone before. and she’s so gorgeous, too. i wonder if she’s thinking about it as much as i am right now.”

tape nine.

“wonwoo says i have feelings for her, in a way. i… i feel like there’s no going back if i acknowledge it. but there's something about her, it's like... i'm not sure. like she and i are on the same wavelength. we’re so different yet so similar.”

tape ten.

“the police are tightening their grip. they wanna name the culprit, and fast. i’ve thought of turning myself in, but i’ll ruin the family name if i do that. my mom and sister will be cast out if that happens. and then there’s… her. god, she’s become so special to me. i can’t go through with it — i can’t. the idea of losing her makes me feel suffocated. fuck, i don’t know what to do.”

and just like that, you close your eyes for a moment.

everything falls into place.

putting the final tape to the side, your cheeks are wet from the tears that have been silently rolling down your cheeks ever since you hit the first play button.

he doesn’t really like you — of course he doesn’t. he’s just using you for his own gain, to cover up his crime.

it’s then that the heavy sobs come out. you utterly fall apart, feeling weak and manipulated and alone.

terrifyingly alone, more than ever before.

but you force yourself to stop crying by telling yourself that you won’t allow him to use you anymore. you need to be steps ahead of him now that he’s not aware of you knowing this information, so you wipe your tears away and play all the tapes again, but this time with your phone making recordings of each one of them.

overcome by your emotions, you feel ready to throw up.

whatever you’re about to do, it’ll probably come back to bite you in the ass later, but you don’t care. not anymore. everything’s already gone to hell anyways.

when mingyu arrives at his apartment a few hours later, it’s empty. he frowns when noticing that your clothes and things you had lying around are all gone, but shrugs it off, believing you probably had a good reason for taking them back home.

but when he calls you the next day, you don’t pick up. you don’t answer any of his texts. your staff by the gate tells him that no visitors are allowed into the driveway, meaning he can’t even get to your front door anymore.

something’s happened. he just doesn’t know what.

long after he’s had his dinner, the rain comes pouring down from the dark clouds in the sky, thunder rumbling in the distance as you make your way to the front door of mingyu’s apartment.

he instantly notices something is very wrong once he lays eyes on you. you look like you’ve just gone through hell and back.

you let yourself in before he can say anything, so he closes the door behind you, confusion painted across his face. “i’ve been calling you — what’s going on? did something happen?”

oh, the question immediately pisses you off even more than you already are. this is about to be fun. “well, you’d know.” you grumble.

“know what?”

“that you killed my fucking father.”

the words strike like lightning. you finding out about the truth certainly wasn’t part of the plan, and since you seem so convinced, he doesn’t have much faith in trying to convince you of his innocence.

when his surprised expression fades, you finally see the truth written all over his face. his jaw is clenched tight, lips pressed together into a thin line, and he suddenly looks very guilty. “how… how did you find out?”

“the tapes. who the fuck records their own confession to murder? were you trying to get me to find out?” you rhetorically ask, eyes blazing fire.

mingyu huffs to himself. he knew he shouldn’t have kept those tapes — fuck.

“look, i—” he swallows, attempting to mend the situation, but you don’t let him speak.

“no. you’re going to tell me exactly what you did and why you did it. you owe me that much.”

he flinches, closing his eyes for a moment, lowering his head, his way of showing he accepts his defeat. “your dad… i always thought he wanted me around because he liked me, but after all those years, that turned out to be a lie. i found out he was blackmailing my mom with evidence of my father’s wrongdoings before his passing — fraud, embezzlement, all of that. we’re talking millions of dollars here. the damage it would’ve done to my family if that ever came out… it’s something i had to prevent. hell, i wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one behind my dad’s car accident. so i did what i thought was necessary.”

you can only scoff. “of course. how noble of you.”

“i’m sorry.” he tells you, but it’s a lie. your father was a despicable man, loved by no one. not really, anyway.

“if you’re going to lie to me, at least do it well.” you scold him, turning away from him for a moment, looking at the rain outside through the large windows of his apartment. “how did you kill him? i wanna hear you say it.”

“can’t we talk about—”

interrupting him, you turn around, the pistol from his safe in your hand, and it’s pointed at him. he anxiously awaits your next move.

“don’t make me ask again. i don’t particularly feel like repeating myself.”

he shudders at the view of the gun pointed at him, but does what you tell him to. “i poisoned him. he had no idea, didn’t suspect me at all. i told him to go home, so he’d die there.”

“where i would be, too. perfect plan, huh?”

“the plan was to make it look like a death from natural causes. the poison would be out of his system by the time the authorities were to perform the autopsy on his body — but then they found him dangling from the ceiling instead. that wasn’t my doing, so i figured the poison got to him to the point he wanted a quicker way out. you were there, with a reasonable motive. i panicked and made a choice.”

inhaling sharply, your eye twitches. “you chose to frame me.”

“i was going to.”

“oh, give me a break. don’t start acting like you care about me, now.”

“except i do. it was different in the beginning — but then i just—i didn’t remember why i hated you. i couldn’t even fathom a possible reason to. i started liking being around you, and you felt it too. i know you did, you said it yourself.” he pleads, getting closer to you, not giving a damn that the barrel of the gun is touching his chest at this point.

a tear escapes your eye, but your anger is still there. “you know what the thing is, mingyu? i don’t even care that you killed him. hell, if you had come to me after our interrogations and confessed that it was you, i would’ve thanked you. what i care about is that you took advantage of me when i was vulnerable, and that you made me feel like i mattered to you when you were all just doing it for your own gain.”

it’s like you’ve ripped his heart out of his chest. he wishes he could make you understand that you’ve made him feel more alive than anyone he’s ever met, that you’ve grown to mean so much to him in a ridiculously short span of time. that he’d go to hell and back to protect you now.

“you matter to me. more than anyone else.”

all you can do is let out a sarcastic fit of laughter; you don’t trust a single word that comes out of his mouth. “i need you to tell me something. did you sleep with me because you actually wanted to or because you felt like you had to in order to manipulate me to get closer to you?”

he seems appalled at what you’re implying. “of course i wanted to. all i ended up wanting was you—”

“don’t you fucking lie to me!” you burst out angrily, at which he flinches, but his frustration brings him to confess his true feelings.

“it’s not a lie, because i’m in love with you!” he raises his voice in desperation, “i don’t care if you shoot me right here, right now. it won’t change how i feel about you.”

your heart shatters even more, because he sounds so genuine, yet it doesn’t make you feel the way it should.

the words should probably bring some kind of twisted comfort, but they feel like a gut punch instead. you grab your chest to stop yourself from hyperventilating. “at least i was right at the beginning. the golden boy is a fucking murderer. you’ve played your part well, i gotta admit.”

he watches you breathily laugh and cry at him, and all he can do is stare back at you with teary eyes and a guilty face.

“please don’t say that.”

“why? does it hurt, hearing the truth?”

“i swear to you—”

you shut him up by pushing him backwards with the pistol against his chest. “you know, when you bothered me after the funeral, when i had my breakdown, i wanted nothing more than to cave in your skull with a rock. looking back, i should’ve just done it. would’ve spared me this whole mess.”

surprisingly enough, you simply put the pistol back in your jacket pocket, but mingyu is just as if not more afraid of you. your gaze is the harshest, coldest, meanest he’s ever seen it. all you do is look at him and he crumbles.

and yet he still wants you. he knows you hate him to the bone, you detest every part of him, and he still. wants. you.

and he intends to show you that, because he’s willing to throw every last shred of pride and dignity he has let out the window if it means you’ll show him you want him even the smallest bit. “i’ll prove it to you. if you ask me to turn myself in, i’ll turn myself in. i’ll do it, for you.”

god, he seems so genuine in it, too.

your breaths are ragged, and you feel like you need to get literally anywhere else, out of the suffocation that is this room with him in it. you barely even noticed he’d taken a hold of your hand until now.

“i can’t do this. just—just let me leave.”

he does.

the moment the door slams shut behind you, he has to grab the nearest object to hold himself up, leaving him wondering what the hell just happened.

x. WHEN IS A MONSTER NOT A MONSTER?

the following days are spent anxiously pacing in his apartment. what is he supposed to do? what should he say to you? what should he tell the press, that he’s innocent? guilty? what should he tell his family? that he killed a man to protect them and their reputation? would they even look him in the eye if he confessed?

he waits and waits and waits for his arrest to come, for the police to barge into his home and take him away to a cold, dark prison cell — yet the day never comes.

personally, he wonders if you’re waiting it out to make you feel as shitty as you’ve probably been feeling since the day you discovered his true colors.

nearly a week after the fight between you, he decides he can’t take it anymore. he needs to see you.

you doubt you’ve ever felt as miserable as you’ve felt these past days. it’s like you’re torn between hating mingyu for taking advantage of you and hating yourself for being stupid enough to fall for it. to fall for him.

because no matter how much you want to deny it, you did.

something you desperately needed was a distraction, which is why you ended up accepting wonwoo’s invitation to the event his father is hosting tonight at his estate just outside the city. with your little black dress on and hair perfectly styled, you down a glass of champagne next to wonwoo, who looks a bit concerned. “everything okay?”

the noise of chatter and soft music in the background only overwhelms you more. “yeah. i just… haven’t had alcohol in a while.” you mutter a bullshit excuse, not really caring whether you sound believable or not.

“i get it if you don’t feel like being here right now, with everything that happened recently. i can take you home if you want.”

“and miss out on your father’s celebration?”

“there will always be another one.” wonwoo shrugs, looking at you like nothing else in the room matters. he has a little smile playing on his lips that’s far too gentle — you almost feel undeserving of a gaze that loving.

but you don’t hold eye contact with him for long, because the source of all your current problems suddenly walks into the room — and he looks good. criminally good.

the red suit with its low neckline draws even more attention to him than usual, along with several expensive pieces of jewelry adorning his wrists and fingers.

“he’s here? that’s strange. he said he wasn’t coming.” wonwoo mumbles, and you do your best to keep your composure and hide the sudden anxiety that blooms in your chest.

“shame. the party was just getting good.” you scoff to yourself, replacing your empty champagne glass with a full one.

it’s then that mingyu’s eyes find yours, and even while politely saying hello to the elders greeting him, he keeps sneaking a peek your way, as if to try to get away from the people surrounding him to get to you.

oh, fuck no. you’re not in the mood to talk to him right now.

“i’m just gonna go and use the restroom, okay? i’ll be right back.” you say to wonwoo, hoping to find yourself a spot in the shadows where you can properly get some air.

you hardly catch his response as your legs are already moving on their own, as far away from the man in red as possible.

passing through a quiet hallway, you find yourself finally alone at the bottom of a staircase, and with no one else around, you sit down on the first few steps, a sigh escaping your mouth.

“did my appearance surprise you?”

as you recognize his voice, your blood runs cold.

looking behind you, he’s standing at the top of the stairs, his hands in his pockets. he appears surprisingly relaxed, even if his fingers slightly tremble against the fabric of his trousers.

“you have some nerve showing up here.”

mingyu purses his lips. “why don’t you come up a couple steps?”

when you finally meet his gaze, his heart skips a beat. your brows are knitted together. “why would i do that?”

“because we’d be on the same level. equals.”

“is that what you want?”

“i think you already know the answer to that.”

biting your lip to yourself, you get up on your feet, heels clicking on the creaking wood with each step. once at his level, you look at him with hostility – he only shows intrigue.

“why haven’t you given me up yet? it’s been a week.”

“i have my reasons.” you shrug, the anger remaining in your features. “what? scared i’ll ruin your reputation?”

his tone suddenly changes into something more desperate, emotional. “i just want to know what you’re gonna do. if you wanna turn me over to the police, fine. but do something, please—”

“you’re not in a position to be making demands.”

“i’m not demanding, i’m asking.”

“go fuck yourself, mingyu.” you snap at him, looking around you before lowering your voice. “what did you think was going to happen when you came here tonight? that i would just let you in on everything? the last thing i owe you is an explanation.”

as the tension continues to rise between you, the argument causes you to step closer to eachother.

his chest heaves out of frustration, because you make a more than valid point, but he still has his own interests at heart. “i know that.”

“so then why show up tonight? don’t bullshit me, i know you’re not here for wonwoo.”

“are you? what are you doing here?”

“what the hell is your problem?” scoffing at him, you intend to push him by his chest, but he grabs your wrists instead.

“you are my problem.” he breathes out angrily as if he were confessing his sins, his hands remaining on your skin. “everything fell apart because of you.”

“if you’re actually trying to pin this on me, i’ll hit you in your fucking jaw until it bleeds.”

he only pulls you closer. “and i’d let you. do you still not get it?”

his grip on your wrists falters, and he softly rubs over your skin with his finger, and you hate your body for reacting to it.

christ, you think to yourself, has he been standing this close to you this whole time?

the smell of his perfume plagues your senses, and a feeling you can’t quite place washes over you when you catch him looking at your lips, and you realize his one hand is slowly gliding past your waist.

are you really going to let yourself fall into his trap again?

“everything okay?”

the words aren’t uttered by you nor mingyu — wonwoo peers up at you from your former spot at the bottom of the stairs.

of course he’s been sensing that there was something going on between you the moment you showed up at the strip club, but this clearly confuses him, since you’re still supposed to hate one another.

fuck. how much of the conversation did he hear?

mingyu hesitantly releases his hands from your body, and you take a step backwards, both of you focusing on wonwoo. “yeah, i’m fine.”

as if to make the situation even worse, the fucking inspector that’s leading the investigation appears behind wonwoo, curiously looking at his two main suspects standing side by side.

the situation feels suffocating. wonwoo points at the older man, “he was looking for you. that’s why i came to see if you were here — i didn’t know you were, um — occupied.”

“i’m not occupied.” with the way you completely disregard mingyu’s existence, it’s almost as if he weren’t even here. you make your way down the steps, smoothening over the fabric of your dress and taking a deep breath to get a hold of yourself again.

the inspector glances at mingyu one last time before asking you if he can talk to you privately, which you agree to.

mere minutes later, you’re standing in a secluded room, far away from the rest of the crowd, arms crossed over your chest, a dim light flickering on the ceiling above you.

“i wanted to talk about the investigation.”

“talking to me off-record again? this isn’t a good look on you.” you sneer at the man, who puts up his hands before his chest.

“i know. but it’s for a good reason.” he defends himself, at which you frown. “i have a proposition for you.”

“which is?”

“i need your help catching the person who killed your father.”

pursing your lips together, you let out a bitter chuckle. “like i would know anything—”

“you were just speaking to him, actually.”

the weight of his words makes your eyes widen. this is the first time he’s expressing who he believes is the culprit, after all these weeks.

your breath hitches in your throat. “you think mingyu is guilty.”

the inspector nods at the conclusion you’ve drawn. “he’s smart, i’ll give him that. but not invincible.”

“what will you do? do you have evidence against him?”

“i have enough that makes me sure that it was him, but not enough to defeat him in court. he’s rich and uses that to his advantage.” he explains, sounding almost hopeful. “so that’s where you come in.”

“me?”

“what i need is evidence that even he can’t work around, no matter how many people in the system he chooses to bribe. you told me the nature of your relationship was sexual — i don’t need to know if that’s true or not. but i’ve noticed he seems fond of you these days. you can use that to get him caught. we can’t let him get away with it.”

his voice rings through your ears, sounding like a convincing whisper. biting down on your tongue, you clench your fists, the predicament you currently find yourself in making you wish the ground would just swallow you whole.

you subtly glance down at your phone for a moment.

the evidence is right there, on the phone in your hand. you’ve recorded all the tapes with your phone — the confession, murder weapon — it’s all the evidence needed. you could give it right now and everything would be over.

yet not a single word comes out of your mouth.

the inspector sighs, offering you a final sentiment. “be careful with him. people can be deceiving.”

and with that, he exits the room, leaving you alone with the voice in your head.

your next moves are crucial. you know what you’re about to do is risky, but it’ll be worth it. it has to be worth it.

once you’ve left the inside of the estate through the backdoor, the event continues for the evening while you ponder over the choice you’re about to make in the backseat of the cab.

shrugging off your coat as you enter your home, you still in your movements when your eyes find the stairs — the spot where the police had to cut down your father’s cold, dead body.

with your gaze remaining on the former crime scene, you press on mingyu’s number to call it.

he picks up faster than lightning, but you don’t allow him to speak.

“meet me in the city tomorrow. 10:30, outside your mother’s firm. don’t be late.”

you hang up right after.

fuck, you should really sell this place. the fact that your father’s wandered around here is more than enough reason.

that he died here as well isn’t great either, but that’s really a minor detail.

with your arms crossed, you scoff, a half-smile that’s almost smug sitting on your face. “if only your death had welcomed us sooner.”

the next morning, you lean your head against the wall of the building you’re meeting at, a cold wind blowing through your hair as you’re sunken deeply into thought.

it’s comfortably quiet, honestly. you’re fond of this type of weather, the white, grey-ish sky, the breeze in the air, some rain on occasion.

you glance at the watch on your wrist — why the fuck is mingyu still not here? what possible reason could he have to be late when this is what he was practically begging for?

just as you’re about to grab your phone from your pocket to call him, someone pulls you by your arm and drags you into the alley beside the building.

“what the fuck!?” you huff out, and then you finally get a good look at the person who grabbed you.

of course it’s him.

“i’m sorry.” mingyu breathes out, his usually neatly styled hair now messy, several strands hanging loose in front of his forehead, the stress visible in his features.

to be together like this feels messy yet weirdly intimate. a few strands of your hair are caught between your lips, and you feel his breath on your face, his hands on your body, even your hands find their way back to him.

as if it’s natural.

“what the hell are you thinking?!” you hiss at him, pushing his hands off you, backing yourself as far up against the wall as possible.

“someone was following me, i was — i thought you’d lured me here to turn me in.”

“you—” is all you can push out of your throat before a sigh leaves you. of course he’d think that. god, what a mess.

burying your face in your hands, it feels like you’re both on the verge of a complete breakdown. both lost, not sure where to go, not sure what’ll happen next.

you thought you’d found a sense of direction in eachother, but that fell apart like a house of cards hit by the wind.

naturally, it begins to rain right when you’re talking to him outside. sighing to yourself, you gesture for him to come with you to your car in the half-empty parking lot, which he wordlessly agrees with.

it’s pouring by the time you’re both seated, the heavy rain rolling down the glass windows of the car.

it’s completely silent between you as you sit beside one another, staring dead ahead at the street.

your voice is hoarse when you tell him your verdict on the matter.

“we’re gonna cover it up.”

mingyu turns his head to look at you in disbelief, but you don’t move a muscle. “… what?”

“i believe i’ve told you i don’t like to repeat myself.”

“no one in their right mind would do that. no one would help me cover it up.” he exhales, eyes moving rapidly as he tries to process what you’re proposing to him.

“no one in their right mind would commit murder, either, but that certainly didn’t stop you.”

well, you have a point there.

“just tell me one thing,” mingyu asks, hoping you’ll look at him, “why? why do this for me?”

he could cry the moment you do meet his eyes. it’s like he sees a different version of himself staring back at him. “because you did the right thing. i would’ve done the same. well, except for your little affair with me.”

with his heart beating against his chest, he gently touches your hand. “everything i told you was true. it may not have been real in the beginning, and i’m sorry for pretending back then, but it’s real now. i swear that to you.”

you bite your lip. “give me one good reason why i should believe you.”

mingyu can taste his tears at this point. he needs you to believe him, he needs you — and that is terrifying but addictive. “the tapes. you can have them if you want.”

“i don’t need them. they hold no value to me.” you already made copies of them anyway.

“then what can i give you to prove myself?”

“nothing.” you immediately cut him off, eyes blazing fire, but even mingyu can see you do share that sadness that he does, mourning the loss of your connection. “from now on, we avoid contact over the phone as much as possible. you’ll destroy the tapes, the poison — get rid of all of it. we’ll work together until we’ve covered it up, and after that, it’ll be like whatever we had never existed. we’ll be nothing more than strangers to one another.”

“how on earth would we go back to strangers after what we did?”

“by never talking to eachother again.” you respond, swallowing the rising lump in your throat, fingers twitching from feeling suffocated. “get out. you can come over to my place tomorrow, and we’ll… figure out how to handle everything.”

mingyu looks at you, and he knows you won’t let him in again, certainly not now. so he nods.

he thinks of what to say, yet nothing comes out.

so he leaves you in your car without saying another word, walking away with nothing but his mistakes on his mind.

xi. I HATE YOU LIKE MY OWN REFLECTION

“so, what do we do now?”

“our best shot is to try to frame someone else, then take them out of prison after the conviction and pay ‘em good money for it.”

mingyu cocks a brow at your choice. “so you wanna go and do the exact same thing i wanted to do?”

you can’t help but glare at him. “yes, just without the manipulation. don’t think for a second i’ve forgiven you, or that i will in the nearby future, because i can assure you that won’t happen.”

well, so much for trying to get into your good graces again. “noted. so, how do we, um… find a suitable victim? someone who won’t rat us out.”

“my contact in the police force has sent me a list of all the other suspects. we pick someone, threaten to kill them if they don’t cooperate. easy.”

mingyu finds your lack of filter both intriguing and scary, like a switch was flipped and you’re suddenly ready to undertake even more violent measures than him. but then again, he was hiding quite some things too. “okay.”

it’s two days later when you’re holding a now former member of the housekeeping hostage in your spacious private parking garage.

“you can’t make me do this! this is insane!” he cries out, and you roll your eyes, holding the gun in your hand as easily as you’d carry a bottle of water.

you simply shrug. “it’s not impossible.”

“i’ll lose everything!”

“probably. but you’ll also gain a lot of money, enough to get you a comfortable life elsewhere in the world.”

“no, no, i’m not doing this. you can’t make me!”

mingyu looks to you for permission, you grant it with a nod, and he takes your gun to hit the guy in the face with it. you sink down to bend your knees, lowering to your victim’s level.

“i don’t think you get it. either you agree to do this, or you’re not making it out of these walls alive. trust me, if i have to shoot you, i will.” you sternly tell him, attitude changing from casual to threatening.

your partner in crime, who’s still holding the gun, is beyond impressed. he briefly thinks it over —has this part of you always been hiding underneath the surface?

“or maybe it’s your family i should start with? i’ll pick it apart, one by one.” you suggest, feigning innocence in your voice.

it’s then that the man is finally forced to accept your offer, after which you smile triumphantly and tell him he can go home like nothing happened. mingyu watches the change in your behavior, leaving him wondering how the hell you’re the same person he’s come to know over the past months.

but it hardly changes his now deeply-rooted affection for you.

a few days later, you’ve successfully orchestrated your plan and set it in motion, with the man from housekeeping supposedly coming forward with his confession tomorrow.

it’s late at night when mingyu’s still over at your house, and he asks if he can open the bottle of vodka standing on the counter.

“sure. whatever.” you mutter, the stand-offish demeanor you used to hold up around him before getting to know him having returned.

he doesn’t like it. no, scratch that — he can’t stand it.

so he pours you both a shot. “i’ve been thinking about something.”

“well, that must’ve been exhausting for you.”

hilarious. really. he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “in the car, you said i did the right thing. that you would’ve done the same.”

“and?”

“do you really not… hate me for killing him? at all?”

“no.”

“you hate me for… lying to you about it.”

“no.”

his brows knit together. “so…”

“again, don’t take this as a compliment, but i really thought you were smarter than this.”

“i’m just… confused on your stance on the whole thing. that’s all.”

taking a breath, a bitter chuckle leaves your mouth. “i hate it when people make fun of me, like — that’s the worst thing you could do to me. and you tried to get to know me, work with me, pretended to care for me, all while secretly knowing that it wasn’t genuine and you were going to put me in prison. and after i found out, it felt like you were just ridiculing me, for… i don’t know. giving in to you so easily. for being desperate to have at least one person actually care about me the way i thought you did.”

he processes your words with the heavy burden of guilt weighing on his shoulders, while you take another shot of alcohol.

well, he fucked up. miserably.

“when i created the plan to frame you, i… almost held a grudge towards you, like you did to me, for a reason i couldn’t even think of. i was going to be putting someone i hated in prison. a sacrifice i was willing to make for the people i loved. but you completely blew me away. as time progressed, i… couldn’t fathom i used to hate you, or even disliked you. even if you don’t accept my apology, i need you to know that i never… never made fun of you. and i’m sorry for hurting you in the way that i did.”

his heartfelt sentiment gets to you, and you hate it.

“even if i did accept your apology, what then? we’ll just move on with our lives as if this whole thing never happened either way.”

now that you’ve unintentionally given him a sense of hope, he downs another shot of vodka to give himself courage. “it doesn’t have to be like that.”

“what?”

“i still want you.” he breathes out, mentally saying fuck it and deciding to finally be completely honest with you.

the words seem to have caught you off-guard, after which you scoff at him once you realize what he’s saying. “you’re not serious.”

“i am,” he replies without hesitation, following you in your tracks when you stand up, “and you know what i think? you still like me, too.”

“no i don’t.”

now that you’ve turned around to him, you realize how stupid of a move it was to do so. with every step he takes forward, you go back, but there’s only so much room before you hit the wall. “you’re not being very convincing.”

“gyu—”

“i like it when you call me that.”

at a loss for words, you look behind you to find you’re nearly out of space. “i don’t like you.”

“and here i thought we were both being honest with eachother.”

god, all he does is look at you and you feel willing to let him touch you again. he made you feel so good — you liked him so much.

mingyu feels it. he sees you fighting with yourself in your head, so he figures all you need is just a little push to get you back where he had you, to be able to kiss you and hold you and call you his.

with his left hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, and within a second, he’s pushed his mouth against yours.

fuck, it’s been only two long weeks since he last kissed you, but it felt like forever. this feeling, his touch — you doubt you’d ever be able to feel that with anyone else.

but something in you is still fighting back.

you muster the will to push mingyu away, and he licks his lips from the gloss on yours. both of you panting heavily, you shake your head. “no. we’re not doing this.”

“what? something we both want?” he breathes out, chest heaving up and down.

“something we shouldn’t.”

“why not?”

“because i’d never forgive myself for giving in to the guy who was gonna frame me for murder.”

he merely shrugs, downplaying the situation for his selfish interests. “we hated each other back then. you’d have done it too, you said it yourself.”

his words are true — but it still hurts.

“you’re a liar.” you say to him, and he knows you’re only saying it for one reason — to convince yourself to not give in to what you really want.

“yeah. and so are you.”

that is what momentarily causes your brain to shut down. “what?”

his hand cups your jaw. you can feel his breath on your bare skin, his gaze on your body, shamelessly checking you out before he meets your eyes again. “what we had was real. you make everyone else in my life seem like… nothing.”

“oh, so i’m special, huh? or are you just trying to get back into my good graces so i don’t rat you out?”

his eyes keep lingering on the skin of your cheeks, your neck, exposed collarbones, and he doesn’t even look you in the eye while answering. “you can do whatever you want. i’ll still want you once i’ve gotten out of prison.”

god. he’s really that into you?

“gyu…” you mutter, almost pouting, and he holds your face, nodding as if he understands.

“i know, i know—” his breathing is unsteady as he confesses every dirty little sin on his conscience, “i like being a little selfish, y’know? even when one of my friends mentioned something about liking you, i didn’t tell you, ‘cause i wanted you.”

you’ve got a feeling who he’s talking about. “so what’d you say to him?”

“i said you had something going on with someone else, which wasn’t exactly a lie, since you were on top of me that same night.” he barely allows himself to finish the sentence before kissing you again, putting all his vigor into it, and you decide to indulge both him and yourself this once.

he pushes you up against the wall, and you shove him away again, holding onto the cupboard beside you when you both catch your breath.

“what if i like him better than you?”

“you wouldn’t.”

“why? ‘cause you’re so likeable?”

“because he’d never accept you for who you really are, and you’d find him boring,” he tells you as a possessive streak overcomes him, “just like no other girl would ever want me and i only want you.”

“so i should let you have me because no one else will. what a compelling argument.”

“no. because you want me.” fucking hell, he’s pretty sure his sex drive has never been this high before. “so have me, baby. please — i’m all yours.” he rasps, pressing a kiss so chaste to your lips, they barely touch. his hands burn on your skin.

“maybe i will.” you mumble, which elicits the smallest smirk from him.

he rubs up against you. “you make me insane.”

“pretty sure you already were.” is the last thing you say before kissing him, finally giving in to the feelings you still hold for him.

the sudden motion takes him by surprise, but he regains his composure to kiss you back within seconds. you make him feel so sickeningly good, he practically worships the ground you walk on.

mingyu is always tactile, be it with his friends, family, or in this case — you. his hands are practically glued to your body, pulling you as close to him as possible.

and normally he likes to take his time when it comes to sex. but he’s just so hot right now that he needs some kind of friction, some kind of release. so he lifts you up to take you to your bedroom, where he wastes no time to plunge his fingers into you.

“fuck—gyu—”

this is all he wants. to hear you moan his name like that and watch you writhe underneath him while his cock throbs as he rubs it against the bed.

“you look so pretty like this.” he grins, curling his fingers to watch you squirm and feel you clench around him.

jesus, his pace is high. higher than any other time he’s done this before. the pressure in your stomach builds so fast that you’re almost overwhelmed by the feeling, at which you instinctively reach down to hold his wrist, but to no avail, because he keeps going.

“say you like me back and i’ll make you cum.”

even through the pleasure he’s giving you, you manage to pull your mean attitude back up. “are you that desperate?”

not only does he seem completely unaffected by the snark in your voice — he might even like it.

“so what if i am?” he shrugs, his fingers moving in and out of you while he kisses and sucks on the skin of your neck.

when he moves onto your jaw, he suddenly hits the right spot inside you, and your eyes roll back, a dragged-out moan escaping you.

“bet that feels good, hm?” he whispers, his fangs showing when he smiles slyly, “c’mon — say it. i’ll make you feel so good, baby.”

right after the words come out of his mouth, he threatens to take his fingers out, and you grab his wrist once more, this time to keep him as close as possible.

“fine — i like you.”

like a war general who just won his greatest battle, he’s beaming at your confession. “good. put your legs over my shoulders.”

well, he certainly is determined. he’s back in his previous position in no-time, now with your legs up, and you try to not clench your thighs around his head too much as his digits piston in and out of your hole.

your orgasm hits you within what feels like a minute, and mingyu keeps going even when your legs are shaking and trembling on his shoulders.

the drag of his cock inside you is heavenly. he’s a big man, and you always need to adjust yourself to him, but fuck is it good.

you always like the slower strokes best, he’s learned. slow and deep, to make you feel every inch of him, and he can bury himself in you to the hilt every single time.

“god, you’re always so tight.” he has to suck through gritted teeth to not completely lose it, ‘cause you’re clenching down on him so much that it almost hurts.

“that’s ‘cause you don’t fuck me enough.”

“we should fix that, then.” he responds, sliding his cock in and out of the pooling wetness between your legs, and as the minutes go by, you continue to find yourself in his arms, your body plastered on his.

it’s the ringing of your phone from the nightstand that pulls you out of the erotic haze.

mingyu turns his head to the side, the dark strands of hair hanging beside his head as he’s still hovering above you.

his chest still heaves when he picks up the device to show you the caller id. “you never did tell me what he wanted to talk to you about.”

all you can do is chuckle — a sound that comes across as if you know more than he does. “he’s onto you. thinks you’re guilty. not far from the truth, is he?”

throwing your phone to the other side of the bed, he pushes himself a little deeper into you, loving the way you have to bite your lip to suppress a whimper. “and he wanted you to give him evidence, i bet.”

“he did.”

“did you?”

“since you still have the freedom to fuck me — take a wild guess.”

this time it’s him who lets out an arrogant laugh. “i knew you liked me too much.”

“i could still do it, y’know.”

“oh, i know you could.” he bites his lower lip before kissing you so vigorously again — as if you’re the air he breathes.

xii. ROUGH HEWN BY UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, AND GIVEN BREATH BY NECESSITY

with the noise of the fireplace crackling, you stand by the window of your mansion’s spacious living room, staring outside as you’re anxiously rubbing your fingers over your collarbone.

the man you and mingyu forced to act like he was guilty of murdering your father has supposedly confessed yesterday morning, and yet you’ve still heard nothing. which is strange.

extremely strange.

“they could still be interrogating him.” mingyu tries to ease both your and his own nerves, but you shake your head, your back still facing him.

“something’s wrong. if it were convincing enough, i would’ve heard something. fuck.”

he gets up from the soft couch to wrap his arms around you from behind. “we just gotta be a little more patient. the guy knows what’s at stake should he mess it up.”

letting out a sigh, you nod. “yeah, i guess you’re right.”

just when he’s pressed a kiss on the top of your head, the doorbell rings — whoever that may be.

mingyu remains in his spot by the window while you go ahead to check who’s visiting you. your breath is almost stolen completely from you once you see who it is.

“coming to visit me at this hour?”

the inspector gives you a fake smile in return. “it’s important.”

so you let him in, keeping up the nonchalance in your attitude. mingyu raises a brow at the older man walking into the room, and he crosses his arms over his chest.

“i had someone coming into the station yesterday — one of your father’s former staff. he confessed to the murder.” the inspector begins. “unfortunately for him, i said i’d already figured out who the culprit was, and so i sent him back home.”

“someone confessed and you didn’t think about telling us?” mingyu questions angrily, and you really have to force yourself not to show how impressed you are with his acting skills.

the other man in the room is less impressed. “why would i tell you something you’re already aware of? you orchestrated it.”

oh, shit.

as your eyes widen, it’s quiet for a moment.

“i really hope you have actual proof to back this accusation.” mingyu sneers, clearly hostile towards the man while you silently take a few steps back, slowly hiding yourself more in the shadows by the walls.

“traces of poison were found in the reports of the autopsy. it was disregarded at first because of the small amount, but i eventually began to consider it evidence when i discovered you recently purchased that exact formula from a dealer who’s been on our radar for a while.”

the hairs on your neck suddenly stand upright. is this it? is the person you’ve grown so attached to actually going to get arrested?

“thing is, if i were to arrest you, you’d probably be let go. i know you both have contacts in the police force as well as the justice system, i almost caught someone messing with the autopsy results — but despite that, i know the truth.” the man nods to himself. “and that is, mr. kim, that the only charge against you is attempted murder.”

mingyu seems confused. “attempted?”

“the poison didn’t kill him. you’re guilty of something, definitely, but you’re no murderer.” the inspector’s gaze suddenly shifts from your partner to you, a deep frown setting into your forehead. “the only player in this game that wasn’t making any sense to me was you.”

“me?”

“you know, in my many years in this line of work, i’ve found it a rarity to have a suspect possessing such an… inscrutible expectant stillness. the gears in your head are constantly turning, but no one’s really sure what it is that goes up in there. you’re an enigma.” he says to you, and you listen to him with a raised brow.

as you remain silent, he continues. “at the event a few weeks ago, when i spoke with you, i came to you and told you i suspected him to be the culprit — the man you’ve hated from day one. the opportunity to make him go away was practically given to you, yet you did nothing with it.”

scoffing at him in disbelief, you tilt your head. “that’s all you have against me? baseless speculation?”

“not exactly baseless. see, the autopsy report showed one more thing — he was choked before the hanging. your father was unconscious before you put that rope around his neck.”

it’s so quiet, you’re pretty sure the two men in the room are able to hear your heartbeat at this point.

mingyu turns to look at you with a puzzled expression, and you finally decide to drop the façade you’ve upheld for so long.

“oh, so what?” you shrug, finding the accusation bothersome at best.

the sudden change in demeanor catches mingyu completely off-guard. he can’t fully comprehend what’s going on here. “you—you killed him?”

you press your lips together. “whatever you used on him wasn’t enough to kill him, but it was enough to make him violent. he came home that night just—fucking losing it. stumbling over everything, his eyes were all red, and he yelled at me because he thought i was the one who poisoned him. ‘cause naturally, he’d never suspect you. my father was one to hit me on the cheek whenever he was really angry with me, but he’d never gone further than that. the poison must’ve worked him up so much that he lost rational thinking. so he began to accuse me of trying to kill him, after which he tried to choke me, but i managed to throw him off, and he passed out. and i figured it’d been enough of his torture, so… i hung him in the stairwell to make it seem like a suicide.”

the inspector nods knowingly. “you murdered him in cold blood.”

you’re quick to respond with your defense, though you don’t really care anymore. “did you not hear the part where he tried to kill me?”

mingyu looks like a kicked puppy when he processes your confession. “so you’ve been lying to me this whole time?”

the words elicit a scoff from you. “that’s real bold, coming from you.”

“but you—you agreed to help me figure out who your father’s killer was. why would you do that if you did it?”

“at first i didn’t, as you know, but you were just so fucking persistent. so i figured i could try to divert your attention from me. i was going to convince you that it was a suicide. then i hear the tapes, you admitting that you poisoned him, and everything made sense. but hey, at least i wasn’t trying to frame you.”

the jab directed at him makes him feel guilty again. “so we both did it.”

“in a way. though i’d argue it was somewhat self-defense. i mean, he came onto me, tried to kill me—”

“you made a mistake and you know it.” the inspector interrupts, making you roll your eyes as he scolds you. “you should’ve called the police. but you didn’t, you just decided to hang him instead!”

“he deserved it!” you retort, displaying the clear hatred you’ve always felt towards anyone who tried to defend the man who raised you. “i don’t care what you think. and you said it yourself — i have everyone in the justice system on my payroll, if necessary. threatening to kill a family member or two also works like a charm.”

it’s silent for a few seconds after you’ve revealed this side of your true nature, and the man just stares you in the eye before grabbing a device from his backpocket.

when he clicks on the button, you already know what it is.

he recorded the whole conversation, and you already know he can’t be bribed, so this is a real problem — because it’s the one piece of evidence needed that will destroy you both.

“you do realize how stupid it was to come here alone, right?” you ask rhetorically.

“what, will you kill me too?” he asks, and when both you and mingyu deadpan a stare at him, he knows the answer.

he’s not getting out of this room alive unless he forfeits the recording.

when you and your partner in crime exchange a glance, the inspector attempts to make a run for it, only to be tackled by mingyu once he’s reached the door.

one last sacrifice.

the sound of a blade piercing through skin makes you jump, your fingers twitching.

blood begins to trickle down his body, after which mingyu pulls out the knife and pushes it in once more, higher up in the chest this time.

“oh, jesus—fuck!” you gasp to yourself when you feel the bloodsplatters hitting your face and neck, and mingyu rips the blade from the inspector’s body, letting it fall onto the carpeted floor.

you both stare at the freshly created crime scene, and you pinch the bridge of your nose, mostly just annoyed at having another crime on your hands.

“well, that is unfortunate.” mingyu sighs, after which you press your lips together, looking up at him.

“understatement of the year. did you have to stab him that quick?”

“sweetheart, he would’ve locked us both away if i didn’t.”

“i guess so.” locking the front door to ensure no one can enter, you cross your arms. “so. are we burning, burying or dumping him in a lake?”

mingyu stares at the body on the floor before locking eyes with you, and it’s like making a silent deal — that you’re in this mess together, and only together can you come out of it, as bloody and violent that road may turn out to be.

well, at the end of the day, you suppose your father was right about one little thing.

you and kim mingyu are, indeed, good together. just not in the way he imagined.

after all, love can exist even in the murderous heart.

thanks for reading! let me know if you enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[keepthesethoughtsinsideyou]

2/25/2023

So this is probably an awful idea. But when you were getting married and then having your honeymoon, i wrote letters to you. that i didnt send to you. i think i only had 3 or 4 days worth of them. But I have no clue when i will ever speak to you again. And like, speak speak. Not some short text. I'm very torn on everything. my heart, is shattered. truly. But you know. At least I have to think you know. Maybe you have like, been able to trick yourself into thinking i never cared. or idk. i just dont know Courtney. I am sorry that i felt this was planned. you did admit it was, after comparing me to Chad first of course. But planned in that, yo. i cant take this. its fair and justified. Maybe the Chad comparison was fair too. idfk. It also makes me hate myself more than I ever thought I could. i have been crying so much today that i have no concept of time. I am glad that at least you have had a wonderful Saturday. Out of town with a friend. Seeing a hopefully enjoyable movie. I was left to morn my dead Dad and now the most important relationship ive ever had. idk if youll ever read or see any of these. And christ i dont want to come off bitter or angry. or anything. I know that i hurt you already. fuck. i hurt you so much that you were like, peace dude. im just, shocked? i dont get how we are video chatting and opening gifts and i bought a hotel for us. To meet up in a crazy thing where I had no plan as to HOW things were gonna work. But my love and need to see you bypassed any real worries. It's crazy how this relationship brought that out of me. I think looking back at things, I was still a bit of a stick in the mud comparably. But you definitely brought something out of me that was crazy and off the cuff. I liked it. I wish i could save things. I wish this was like that early time when you broke things off and then like 2 days later came back and said you couldnt be without me. I'm not religious but I am hoping there are some sort of synchronicities or coincidences that send you back to me. I didnt expect you to not break up with me just because it was my dead father''s birthday. That would be manipulative. You broke up with me just the other day and I cant even tell you WHY. I remember alot of you telling me how YOU had negatively effected my life. And i deserved better and whatever. But i just wanted you. I told my mom that I have never loved someone like i loved you, and I never will again. I didnt know I was capable of love like this. I wont ever find it again. This message sucks cause its all over the place and im not making much sense or keeping a consistent tone. the barbed comments I would make. Back handed shit. god, they are all i can fucking think about. I cant imagine how differently things wouldve been if you hadnt immediately started having sex with new people. my brain just cant Courtney. How can you love me, want a future with me, want children, a home. But then as soon as you are single, its not me. Its not me at all. It's someone else. It really fucked with my head. And honestly, i just think I am a square. I have never hooked up with anyone in my life. I have only had sex with people I had relationships with. And the concept of sex outside of that is not only unappealing to me, but kind of grosses me out. Thats for me. I get people are into their own things and I dont judge. But being faced by someone who can say all this lovey dovey bs to me, and go fuck another man. And theres no connection? its just sex? whats the big deal? well, thats where my brain goes insane. I've never felt good enough or worthy of you. And for you to immediately shack up with someone NOT me while saying different things to me, it really fed into that insecurity. But thats me right? its MY insecurity. So who would you be to respect or acknowledge that. You are a young single woman who can finally go out and experiment and find yourself. Neither me or anyone else should stand in your way of that. But god dammit did it break my heart. And your ability to seemingly never think of me and my feelings just solidified mentally that i was not good enough. i was not worthy. and maybe worst of all, I was not your first choice. i lashed out with my words. my tone. things i said. how i said that. ugh. i wish...i wish i couldve just been your supportive friend. YASSS QUEEN! GO EAT SOME PUSSY! there are moments when i can be cool. But the uncool version of me surfaced his ugly head far more often as more of your experimentation took off. It just blows because, this only got bad once this started. Prior to that, i feel like things were wonderful. But i am probably sugarcoating things post mortem. i regret ever telling you i had bipolar disorder. i regret ever telling you about my anxiety disorder. Because in breaking up with me, they were both brought up. Negative is negative though. Just sucks feeling like you arent good enough from the get go and then being made to feel like you are broken and needing fixing. I dont know alot of people who would be okay with the love of their life fucking other people. Especially when that same person has told you they want you over anyone. But then when you try to plan a future together, those conversations go nowhere. So idk. Too much too soon I guess. I know that no matter what negative things i may think of the situation, I know I am at fault. I couldnt handle the pressure of being with a poly person. And I especially couldnt handle it when it seemed like the plans to experiment and have sex with other people superseded our plans that we talked about of a future together. But as i said, I know i am wrong. I am the villain. I think of some of the things i said to you in the days following you telling me Andi was coming there to get a hotel so you 2 could fuck. And christ. my tone. the meanness. i know i can change. i know it. maybe you'll change too? But maybe some of your negative qualities will change in your period of experimenting. who knows? all i know is each hour that passes and I cant talk to you breaks my soul. as much as I am sure you would prefer me checking my insurance to see if i could get therapy and medicated, i am afraid i am looking into seeing if it will cover me committing myself. Because I am genuinely unsure how i can go on. All i can think about is taking a bunch of Ativan and walking out into the woods and falling asleep and never waking up. Which in my present state I can realize is not good. The issue is, between the hotel i JUST bought us Thursday, and the hotel I bought us for your visit here in April, that's over $900 i charged that's non refundable. If I commit myself, I will lose my job. Outside of hotel money, i am just in debt in general too. So i feel so fucking stuck. None of this matters though. I just want you back. I don't care about money. I don't care about who else you have sex with. i just want my angel back. i can and will change. And I am TERRIFIED because per you,  you are a serial monogamous relationship person. I want to change so you will love me again. I want to change so you can feel comfortable with your heart with me. But what if it takes to long? And you're already on to the next one? idfk. But my soul is crushed and i feel like giving up. I'm back to where I was before we met. The difference is now i have the pain and grief of losing my cosmic lover. My partner the universe brought into my life. How does one cope with such a loss? How does one live knowing they lost a love that was unlike anything they've ever experienced. I don't know. i do not want to live a life without you in it. 

[fizzysquish]

Hm

[r0ses-are-rosie]

Not sure if the ask you deleted was mine but just in case I'm sending it once again hehe ^^

Only if you could, can i request some headcanons of the hashiras (if it's possible all of them, if not, you can choose whoever you want!) seeing reader (who's also a hashira) as an older sibling figure??

Please and thank you i hope you are having an excellent day / night ♡

A/N: YES OMG THIS WAS THE ASK THAT GOT DELETED. im so sorry your request was super delayed, here you go! thank you btw, i hope you're doing great as well (also im apologizing in advance but i literally cannot write gyomei so you wont see him on here 💀🤚). im gonna do obanai, sanemi and muichiro in a separate post because i want to work on other requests, but i also wanted to get yours up because it was the oldest one. i hate how this turned out but i hope you like it 😭

! SPOILERS FOR TENGENS SEASON 2 !

The Hashira seeing another Hashira!Reader as an older sibling figure

.

.

.

🍡 Mitsuri Kanroji

YOU'RE AWESOME

thats who you are in her eyes ─ someone amazing

mitsuri looks up to you...she idolizes you

it doesnt matter if you're older, younger, or the same age as her!

probably sticks to you like glue

enjoys watching you practice/spar ─ and then she has a plate of snacks/drinks ready for you when you're finished!

her doting nature is a bit excessive

did i mention that she sticks to your side?

mitsuri doing all of this for you is just payback for how lovingly you've treated her

brushing her hair, having her back in battles, and being brave for her when she's overwhelmed

when you care for her ─ making sure that she's okay, well fed, and just wanting to be in her company ─ it just makes her heart swell

"(name), you're the best!"

"i'm really not..."

"but you are!"

probably has gotten used to referring to you as her older sibling so much that in public it just sort of slips out

"ah, this is (name). we're family."

"wait, what? you two are related?"

"well," you laugh. "not biologically, no."

she loves you so so so so much. <3

🌊 Giyuu Tomioka

for him to even consider you as family is such an accomplishment

bro trusts you with his life

like mitsuri, this guy follows you a lot

not as much, but yeah. you get it. he's kinda like a shadow

shinobu teases him about this often ─ because she already knows what his response will be

"tsk, tomioka. this is why you have no friends! what a shame."

"(name) is my friend. i dont need anyone else...i'm fine with just them."

you both do every single mission together...change my mind

oh wait, you cant

adores when you both have late night conversations. it can range from sitting in comfortable silence to laughing till' you cry

whenever he's upset, you're the first one there

always wanting to help you in some way. it bothers him that you're always the one tending to him. he wants to care for you too

gets angry when you try to put on a brave face for him when you're clearly hurting/struggling

"i─i'm fine, giyuu. honest." you wince, clenching your teeth as you held your badly injured leg. "i'll make it back, so please dont worry about me─"

"stop it, dammit!" he grabbed your shoulders, shocking you. "you're always caring for me. just...let me be there for you too."

probably feels too awkward to refer to you as his older sibling, but if you ask him to do it, then he will

that being said, he admires you very very much.

🦋 Shinobu Kocho

very reluctant to have someone she thinks of as an older sibling after what happened with kanae

but then, you came along and that mindset just went poof

when you care for shinobu, it makes her feel odd...usually, she's the one tending to others, so she was sort of tickled when you asked her how she was doing for the first time

but...that doesn't mean shinobu doesn't enjoy it ─ it's nice to have someone to depend on!

when even kanao starts to warm up to you, that's when she knows that you're a keeper

congratulations! welcome to the butterfly family! the mansion is now your home as well <3

when work gets too overwhelming, you're there to help her sort it out, or get her mind off of it for the moment! whichever is fine

not gonna lie...i think you becoming shinobu's sibling figure would make you adopt some of her traits as well

that being said, you two are total CLOWNS

you're both taking up a masters degree in messing with giyuu, idc

"tomioka, your sourpuss attitude is the reason nobody likes you, you know."

"what do you mean? people do like me."

you and your sister figure both share a look.

then your hand covers your mouth as you adopt a guilty expression. "is that really what you think? poor thing...maybe you shouldn't have told him, shinobu."

ROAST COUNTER:

(name) & shinobu: 2

giyuu: 0

you truly are her best friend.

🔥 Kyojuro Rengoku

honestly...kyojuro is just...kyojuro 💀

regardless of who you are tbh

but if he looks up to you then he treats you with much more respect than he does with others

you both eat meals together all the time!

he probably convinces you to yell "delicious" at the top of your lungs while you're eating.

...you find it to be the funniest shit ever

"DELICIOUS!" he slurps his noodles, "DELICIOUS!"

"DELI-" you drop your chopsticks onto the table, leaning on your side as you start to wheeze hysterically.

kyojuro isnt sure whats so funny, but he smiles anyway because you seem to be happy

after knowing you for a bit, he introduced you to senjuro and fell in love with the sibling-like way you interacted

from then on out, he treated you like family as well

um, hello??? you cooking food for him when he returns from a mission and he's tired?YES?

nah cuz your cooking would be the best fr

bro inhales that stuff while you tell him to slow down

like the food isnt about to grow legs and walk away sir?? 😰

kyojuro loves it when you act protective of him, even when you don't need to be! he's a hashira, after all!

i have the strangest feeling that he's sometimes unorganized (i.e. having clothes scattered on the floor, probably dropping small belongings)??

you're always quick to tidy up his messes, and he's so thankful for that

he apologizes, like, a lot after you do that

"I'm very sorry for leaving behind my litter, (name)! it well not happen again!"

"kyojuro," you snort. "don't refer to your things as 'litter.' and it's fine, really! i don't mind a little cleaning up ─ especially after you."

when he feels sad or discouraged, you set his heart ablaze.

🎵 Tengen Uzui

you must be a very flashy person indeed

i was going to leave it at that because that wouldve been hilarious but i decided not to 💀

i mean you must be a seriously cool person to earn his respect right??

but nonetheless, you both are close and eventually, he introduced you to his wives!

THEY ADORE YOU

suma talks your ear off so much until tengen has to pull her away from you. hina makes sure that you're feeling comfortable, and makio acts as if shes disinterested when she secretly loves you

yall probably have those lazy off days where you do absolutely nothing and just enjoy each others company

and then you'd probably ruin it by telling him that you both needed to get out and run

"come on, get up." you nudged him. "lets go work out!"

"why would i need to work out when I've got these?" he flexes his arm muscles, grinning up at you. "flashy, right (name)?"

you folded you arms, expression unimpressed. "tengen. get up. now."

"ah, alright. you're acting like makio,"

"i heard that!" makio calls from the other room.

when he takes tanjiro, inosuke and zenitsu to the entertainment district, you're there as well

you took the hit for him when gyutaro sliced off his arm

he feels guilty that you had to retire from the corps at such a young age on his behalf so he works for your forgiveness everyday, even if you tell him its not necessary

um...he definitely named his first child after you (if he had any) lmao

you are the most flamboyant thing to ever exist in his eyes

i hate myself for saying that

[cheolkanojo]

BAMBIIIII AKDHSKDJ I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF REPLYING TO OUR CONVO WHEN I ACCICENTALLY CLICKED UR BLOG AND SAW THE UPDATE AKDHSKDJA I IMMEDIATELY RUSHED HERE AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

as usual, lemme scream abt EVERYTHING

(warning: there will be an overuse of the crying and heartbroken emoji. and it’s YOUR fault)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE START IS SO SO DOMESTIC IM SO?!?!:&:)*{% 😭😭😭 NOT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE HOW THEIR TOOTHBRUSH ARE NEXT TO E/O AND HOW CHEOL HOLDS HER THROUGH THE PHONECALL?!?!&/)3!: MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS???? THIS IS TOO SWEET BUT WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED AFTERWARDS EXCUSE ME?!?! 💀💀💀💀 oh god DAMMIT I SHOULD’VE KNOW WHEN YOU SAID IT’S CALM BEFORE THE STORM. ain’t no drama w/o some good misunderstanding 🥹 💔 when u say cheol’s not smart with his words lemme just say he’s a freaking DUMBASS

(BUT HOW THE HELL DID YOU STILL MAKE CHERRY’S RUNAWAY SCENE SO COMEDIC OH MY GOD AKDHSKDHSK YEAH GO BURN THOSE LEGOS, GURL 😭😭)

oh shit OH SHIT IM CRYING OVER HER CONVO WITH JEONGHAN AAAAHHH HANNIE IS SUCH A THOUGHTFUL PERSON 😭😭😭 THIS PART IS SO SWEET OMGGG SKDHSKFJDKD “you deserve more” IM NOT SOBBING HUWAAAAAAA why is hannie so sweet i cant take this anymore 😭💔😭💔

ah… the scene back home broke my heart sm 😢💔 it’s just… so sad that she has to think that she’s losing her friends/the people she met through cheol just bcs of her sort of?? broken?? relationship with cheol 💔 THIS BREAKS MY HEART UGHHHHHH EVERYTHING ABT THIS SCENE BREAKS MY HEART. the way she thinks of cheol and thinks of her feelings for him… the way she FINALLY admits abt the things she feels around him YET ALSO BEING IN DENIAL BCS OF THEIR FIGHT… IM SO SAD

I MISS THEM I MISS CHEOLCHERRY SO MUCH AAAAAAA 😭😭💔💔

…sigh. here we go again. FUCK YOUUUUU HAJUNNNN 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 oh yeah if i was mad the chapter before THIS ONE IS JUST ☠️☠️☠️☠️ im not gonna lie this part was kind of triggering so i kinda skimmed over it ajdhskdh 😭

but AHAHAHAH FINALLY. FINALLY!!!! FINALLY CHEOL SNAPS AND JUST TELLS HAJUN TO FUCK OFF. I AM VERY VERY SATISFIED 😁😁 RATING THIS 100/10. i love how sassy cherry is here tho lololol AND GAHHHH I LOVE HOW ASSERTIVE AND INTIMIDATING CHEOL IS HERE AAAAAAA FINALLYYYY 😭😭😭 finally he’s treating hajun as she DESERVES 👎🏻👎🏻

((im sorry im having so much fun seeing how pathetic hajun is before she leaves))))

ah yes, to their convo tho. AAAAAAAAKDHSJD now we’re back to being sad 🥲🥲🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭 oh god cherry dont u understand how WHIPPED choi seungcheol is for you?!?! w/o this scene happening i just KNOW he’ll be there for her show!!! HAAAH it’s just SO SAD seeing her losing hope towards every nice things she built with cheol. like her friendship w/ their mutual friends. and the feelings the have for e/o. 💔💔💔

(at the very least, her home starts to feel more like home… and it’s nice to know that 🥹🥹 altho seoah’s timing w/ the call is just too… 💀💀)

when their eyes meet again for the last time… NAURRRRRR IM SO HEARTBROKENNNN “it ranges from longing to worry to hope” I AM CRYINGGGGGGGG 😭😭😭 and it’s the fact that cherry herself possibly still hopes to be with him too— SIGHHHH

AAAAAAAA HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MEEE BAMBIIIII the start was all domestic and then BOOM THE WHOLE CHAPTER IS JUST ANGST 😭😭💔💔 BUT I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF READING IT…

also it’s. kinda. idk? ironic? that the title pretty please stay with me probably, at first, sounds like it comes from cherry, but now it’s cheol who seems rly rly scared of losing her… 🥹🥹💔💔 (another idea for a bonus scene if you ever feel like writing one tho: cheol’s pov of 4 weeks of cherry’s absence 😋 i want him suffering LMAO)

also WHATTTT the next chapter is the last chapter?!?! AKDHSKDHSKDHS i both can’t wait and DON’T WANT THIS SERIES TO END SO QUICKLY… 😭😭😭 but i do want to appreciate you for coming so far! every chapter has been amazing and super impactful!! and you even update regularly, wow, you’re truly amazing 😭😭✨✨

again, thank you so so much for writing this (no i wont stop saying this. you need to know how grateful i am to you bcs thx to pretty please i have sth to look forward every weekend 😭)

this comment is so long wtf. im sorry. i guess i got overexcited AKDHSKDJSK okay it’s almost 1 am here i need to sleep now lolol

last but not least, as usual, CHEOL LOVES AND ADORES YOU ♥️♥️ and so do i 🫶🏻✨

pretty please (stay with me) || c.sc || 5

“After being assigned a fashion show for your big senior project, you set off to find volunteers to make it successful. However, when you meet Choi Seungcheol and his unfriendly clique through your volunteers, you realize they’re an unwanted package deal you can’t escape from. Can you handle Seungcheol’s obnoxious friends, and can he handle your brash behavior?”

🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (afab)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Slice of life (!!!), slow burn, drama, fluff, angst; Unrequited enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, college au

🍒 Warnings: General tws + seungcheol's not smart with his words, name calling not in bed (bitch), mention of murder (jokingly), slut-shaming

🍒 WC: 11.6k

🍒 Betas: Sarah, Indi, Kelly, Freya 🤩

🍒 Author’s Note: I love seeing everyone's reactions to the chapters so far! The last chapter was the calm before the storm, so prepare for lots of angst in this chapter 🫣 Thank you for reading, and please enjoy the early upload ♥️

also read here: AO3 | Wattpad

seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter \\ pretty please masterpost // next chapter

Waking up in Seungcheol's bed is a lot more relaxing this time.

Partly because Seungcheol has your back pressing against his chest, an arm slung over your body, and his head nestled against yours. You rest an arm over his as you take a deep breath, recalling the memories from last night. The events flash in front of you as if you’re clicking through a view master. From Dae and you drinking to both of you on the floor, to hitting Hajun, to the argument you had with Seungcheol, to having his body moving with yours.

You thought you were going to get closure last night, but you only opened the wound wider. It’s going to be harder to stay away from him. At this point, you don’t want to either. You just need to find a way to stop seeing his business friends every time you see Seungcheol. If anything, you are more willing to find alternatives than completely push him out of your life.

Seungcheol stirs behind you, body untangling from yours to switch sides. You think he’s going to get up, but he just stills again. You peer over your shoulder to look at him. He has his back to you now, so you can’t see his face. You decide to let him rest longer since it’s the weekend, after all.

You carefully climb out of bed and put on the hoodie and boxers he had given you last night. You walk to his bathroom, ready to freshen up, only to remember you didn’t come with anything. 

Your eyes land on his toothbrush. You can snoop around until you find a new one, but you don't want to risk his privacy. You can just use your finger… Ah, whatever, you’ll ask him really quickly, then let him go back to sleep.

Padding back to the bed, you carefully kneel in front of him. 

Seungcheol has never been unattractive, yet you didn’t find him that handsome initially. Though right now, he looks beyond stunning. Strands of his hair lay in front of his face, and his lips are in their natural downward position. Nothing has changed in his appearance from when you first met him, so why does your heart flutter at the sight of him at this moment?

Sighing at your never-ending thoughts, you reach out and shake him gently.

“Seungcheol?” you ask softly so as to not scare him awake. You expect to have to wiggle him a few more times, but he wakes up instantly. His eyes find yours easily and fill with worry as he starts to sit up. You begin to feel guilty waking him up for a silly toothbrush.

“You alright? Are you hurt?” he asks. His morning voice is as deep as you remember. Although it’s still attractive, you find it cute now. You’d fall asleep around him more just so you could hear his voice the next morning.

You give him a tiny reassuring smile. “I’m okay. I just wanted to know if I could have a spare toothbrush.”

Upon hearing your words, his body relaxes. He sits up fully and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. The covers fall down his body, pooling in his lap. You forgot he is naked. Now with the morning light, you can see his chest clearer. You had felt every inch of it last night, even saw it due to his lamp, but seeing it in a new light is another joy. Or perhaps it’s because your mind isn’t as cloudy.

“Of course, baby,” he rasps. The small chuckle accompanied by his response is low, and you want to hear it again.

Seungcheol steps from the bed, letting the cover fall half on the floor. You shake your head at his carelessness. While he retrieves a pair of sweats from his dresser, you pick up the cover from the floor.

“You could’ve just left it there,” he smiles as he strolls past you into the bathroom. You can’t help but make a mental correction in your daydreams—Seungcheol would wear sweats without a shirt.

“It was going to bother me,” you reply and turn to watch him. He leans down, opens the lower cabinet, and digs around until he lifts an unboxed toothbrush.

“For you,” he says and tilts it in your direction. You take it and free the brush. Seungcheol takes the trash from you as he stands, then points to the toothpaste on the counter. “Feel free to use it, okay?”

You nod. “Thank you. I’ll give you a new one in return,” you reply, starting to prep the toothbrush.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Seungcheol tosses the trash in the bin next to the sink, then pauses in his actions, as if debating on what to do. After a second, he quickly grabs his own toothbrush. You watch him silently while you brush your teeth. Soon, Seungcheol is copying your actions, giving you a smile in the mirror when he catches your stare. Your heart twists with affection, and seeing both your reflections—dressed in casual wear and doing a simple act—is all too domestic. 

Almost as if this is something that is normal for you two, but it isn’t. Not liking how comfortable you are starting to feel, you quickly rinse your mouth. Seungcheol reaches down and holds your hair back as you do so. Once you’re done, Seungcheol grabs the brush and places it in the container. He rinses his mouth next before setting his toothbrush down next to yours.

Who knew seeing two toothbrushes next to each other would be the cause of your mental spiral?

You walk from the bathroom and into the living room, trying to find your purse. He follows you slowly.

“You’re not about to make me a one-night stand, are you?” he asks. His voice is playful, but you know it isn’t a rhetorical question.

You think about it, but unfortunately, he’s your ride. The only other person you can call right now is hung over at another person’s apartment.

“I just wanted to see if Dae was okay,” you answer.

“Oh, right,” he says, seeming to have forgotten about her predicament. It doesn’t bother you, though. She isn’t his concern. “I put it over here.”

You turn to see him grabbing it. You walk over, taking it from him before fishing out your phone. Ah, of course. Dead.

Your pout must be evident on your face, because Seungcheol asks, “What’s wrong?”

You flip the phone over to show a black screen.

“No power,” you sigh and toss the useless brick of a phone back into your purse.

Seungcheol glances around, then leaves to grab something from another part of the room. It’s his phone.

He presses a few things on the screen before lifting the device to his ear.

“Hey,” he says and moves to sit on the couch. When he pats the spot next to him, you go over. 

“Yeah, she’s fine,” he continues.

From a close distance, you can faintly hear Joshua on the other end.

“That’s good,” Joshua says. “Dae’s up. She wasn’t doing too well earlier, but she seems better now.”

“Speaking of, Yn wanted to talk to her. Can you give the phone over?”

“Sure thing,” he answers.

Seungcheol gives you the phone with a small smile.

“Thanks,” you mutter and bring the phone to your ear. You lean back on the couch so your head is against the armrest. Seungcheol places your legs over his lap and begins massaging your calves. You give him a smile at his actions, his strong hands feeling nice against your skin. The sight of him shirtless doing a mundane act has butterflies forming in your tummy. You’re about to daydream about him, but Dae’s loud voice snaps you away from those thoughts.

“Did I really puke on you?!” Dae gasps on the other side. You pull the device from your ear slightly at the loud noise.

“Yeah, so not only do you owe me a pair of heels, you owe me a whole outfit too,” you tease.

“Pluh-ease, just take something of Seungcheol’s and call it a deal. I’m sure he’s got some designer clothes you can steal.”

Your eyes snap to him at her suggestion. Seungcheol has his focus on your legs, acting like he isn’t listening in, but the smile on his lips tells you he is.

“I don’t need his clothes,” you reply with a huff. “I just wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Considering I’m at a cute stranger’s apartment, in a cute stranger’s room, I’m doing just peachy.”

“You think Joshua is cute?” you ask. Okay, so this isn’t the time for girls talk, but the question leaves your lips before you can stop it.

Dae giggles. “A little. Don’t you?”

Seungcheol’s hands squeeze your legs as if challenging you to say yes.

Despite agreeing with Dae, you answer with a shrug, “He’s not ugly.”

Hopefully, that’s good enough to save your ass.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Dae concludes.

Your eyes flicker to Seungcheol to see his reaction. There’s a hint of a pout on his plump lips. You hold back a laugh. Still a baby, you think with a shake of your head.

“Hey, did those assholes leave you alone eventually? I started to black out. I don’t quite remember,” Dae wonders.

At the mention of Hajun and Hana, you avert your gaze from Seungcheol. 

“Sort of,” you trail off. They didn’t, but you don’t want to bad mouth Seungcheol’s friends in front of him. Not that it probably matters; it’s not a surprise you don’t get along. 

“It’s fine. Nothing I can’t handle.” You try to dismiss the topic.

“To an extent, Yn. I know you,” she says, more serious now. “Remember, don’t let them get to you. They’re the real whores. Oh, did they ever take that picture?”

Knowing Dae doesn’t want to let up on the conversation. You start to retract your legs from Seungcheol so you can go to another room. However, he grips your legs so you can’t move. You eye him confused, but he still doesn’t look at you. Sighing, you lay back down.

“I don’t know,” you answer honestly.

“Hm. I think Joshua stopped them. He said when he came out, neither of them had their phones out.”

“T-that’s good.”

“I just wanted to ask in case you saw otherwise,” she explains. “I know what I said before, but you’re right. Seungcheol should really lose them as friends.”

You speak fast before she can dive into the topic further.

“Look, I just called to see—”

“Well, besides that. Was Seungcheol nice to you last night?” she interrupts.

Your hands start to play with his hoodie as you try to ignore the fact he can hear everything. The answer depends on which part of the night she wants to refer to. He was not nice the first half, but the second half… You feel a shiver run down your spine at the thought of you two in bed. His hands and lips over your body as he made you feel so, so good.

Not wanting Seungcheol to question your response, you semi-lie, “Yes.”

“Hm,” she pauses. You can tell she thinks you’re lying by your delayed answer. “Did something happen between you two?”

Yes.

“No.”

Dae giggles. “I knew you liked him! You did the two-person tango with him, huh? You send me off to be babysat so you can have some freaky time.”

“Dae!” you scold and pull your legs from Seungcheol’s lap despite him trying to stop you again.

She gasps on the other line. “You haven’t had se—”

You jolt from the couch and briskly walk to the other side of the room.

“I should get going. I’m glad you’re fine though,” you rush.

“Alright, alright. We’ll talk later about that,” she laughs. “Do you need me to get Joshua to pick you up?” she asks. You finally looked at Seungcheol again. He’s looking at you now, face unreadable. Your heart races a little at not knowing what he’s thinking.

“No, I can get Seungcheol to drop me off.”

“Okay. I’ll be home soon and will probably go back to sleep.”

“Alright. Get back safely,” you reply.

“You too, Yn.”

You hang up the call and slowly walk toward him to give the phone back. You hate how silent it is.

“Pretend you didn’t hear anything,” you tell him.

You expect him to bring up your fight with his friends again, but instead, he asks about another part. One that takes you by surprise.

“You were a virgin?” His voice comes out hushed, but it’s so quiet you have no trouble hearing it. Rather than sounding frightened like some others may, he sounds doubtful. To your disappointment, he even chuckles under his breath.

Before you can completely digest his words, he adds, “So, I wasn’t number sixty-seven?”

Your body halts. 

Although you aren’t a virgin, you feel hurt by his implication that you sleep around. It’s then you recall Dae on the phone. You cut her off before she could finish her sentence. You haven’t had sex in a while, having dumped your ex for being a douche and not wanting to hook up with some rando from a bar in the meantime.

“You think I’ve slept with everyone on campus?” you ask, trying to keep your voice steady as you look for your ruined outfit from last night. There’s a sense of foreboding as you await his reply.

“Well, maybe not everyone,” he says slowly and raises his head to look at you. There’s a teasing tone hidden somewhere in that sentence, but you don’t find it funny.

You stare at him incredulously, your movements halting at his words. Is he serious right now? You’re not sure where this is coming from, but you don’t need to hear more. Wherever your outfit is, it can stay there. You don’t care about it that much to last another minute here looking for it.

“Ah, right. I just have people lining up as I keep my legs spread. Oh! But there are always newcomers that enroll. We can’t forget them, so you’re right. Not everyone,” you hiss out, mind ripping up every pleasurable thought you ever had about Seungcheol. All those minutes thinking of him are wasted in a blink of an eye.

“That’s not what I meant,” he replies with a shake of his head, standing up. “I meant you’re just too pretty to have not had se—”

“What a fucking pig,” you berate. “Being pretty doesn’t have anything to do with being a virgin or not. I can be pretty without being a whore.”

Panic rises in his eyes. “You’re right. I didn’t mean—I just… Shit.” He closes his eyes tightly for a moment, but you don’t wait for him to collect his thoughts.

“I see why you let your friends talk shit about me now,” you say as you snatch your purse from where you left it. You lock eyes with him when you continue, “It’s because you agree with them.”

It’s like the light bulb above your head suddenly turns on. 

You know it was unlikely he wouldn't ditch those friends, but you thought you could deal with it if you didn’t have to see them. You could visit Seungcheol somewhere in private or with your mutual friends instead. You would have found ways to be with him because your feelings for him were too strong to overlook. Though, now you saw that would never happen. It truly was all an illusion.

And you were right earlier.

He already thinks bad of you.

“That’s not true at all,” Seungcheol urges. “I’m sorry. I was just surprised and joking before. I didn’t use my words correctly. Hear me out, Cherry.”

He definitely did not sound surprised earlier, and his “jokes”… Yeah. His words were ass. And so is he. 

You take a deep inhale, fanning the flames so as to not let your heart feel anything but anger.

“Joking... You and those ‘friends’ of yours always tell such hilarious jokes,” you laugh dryly and turn for his door. Recalling you don’t have a car, your gaze lands on his face. Well, since you are already a bitch in his eyes, might as well bring that persona to life.

“Where are you going? You’re not even dressed. Yn, stop! Just stay here, and let’s talk,” he implores, rushing to you.

You forgot you’re just in his hoodie and boxers. Heck, you don’t even have shoes on. None of that matters to you, though.

You quickly whip around to face him.

“I’m so terribly sorry,” you over-exaggerate your apology as you reach behind you. “I can’t stay any longer. My one o’clock fuck is waiting for me.”

Your hand snatches his keys then you’re storming out of his apartment. You hear him yelling after you, but you ignore it while you rush to find his car before he can catch you. 

Voices to your right catch your attention, which has you sighing with relief when you see familiar, friendlier faces. You’re not sure how they always pop up around you, but you aren’t complaining for once.

Chan, Jun, and Soonyoung are walking toward you while they chat. They don’t notice you at first, but the sound of your feet hitting the pavement catches their attention.

“Yn?!” Jun exclaims, eyes big at seeing you.

“What are you wearing? Where are your clothes?!” Soonyoung asks. His shocked expression quickly turns into concern.

“Yn’s here?” another voice asks. Jeonghan stands by the driver’s seat of the car the others got out of. He props an arm on the top of the vehicle, his door still open. You’ve never been happier to see his face.

“Yn!” Seungcheol’s voice calls out behind you. You don’t bother looking back and quickly maneuver around the three men to get in the car. Thankfully, it isn’t locked yet.

“Where are your clothes?” Chan asks Seungcheol.

“Jeonghan, get your ass in the car now, or I’m going to burn your legos,” you threaten quickly as you buckle, remembering his precious Lego collection you once saw in his room.

“Aish,” he grumbles and gets in, shutting the door. You quickly lock the doors and then point to the road.

“Drive now,” you demand.

“Woah, just calm down. Why are—”

There is a loud knock at your window, and you see Seungcheol’s face appear.

“Yn, please just come out. I can explain,” he begs.

You glare at Jeonghan, one that is a lot fiercer than you’ve ever given him.

“You think I’m joking about your fucking legos?” you growl, a finger pointing in his direction.

“Seungcheol’s going to beat my ass,” he whines as he starts the car.

“And I’m going to beat yours and burn down your Le—”

“I got it,” Jeonghan huffs and glances at Seungcheol apologetically.

“Jeonghan, I swear if you fucking drive off, I will—” Seungcheol growls from outside the car.

“Sorry, my grandma suddenly needs me!” Jeonghan shouts before he backs out of the spot, slowly at first so he doesn't run over Seungcheol’s feet, not that you care, then speeds out of the parking lot.

You glance in the side mirror, seeing Seungcheol still yelling as the other men watch, confused and shocked behind him. Your eyes finally tear away when they become little specks in the distance. A sigh leaves your lips as you allow your body to sag in the seat, head tilting back.

“There’s a jacket in the back if you want it,” Jeonghan says softly.

You glance back and find it folded on the seat. You grab it, draping it over your bare legs. “Thanks.”

He sighs. “Now, do you want to tell me what that was about?”

“Seungcheol’s an asshole.”

Your reply is curt. You think that’s a good enough reason to leave him in the dust.

“Okay,” Jeonghan answers slowly, “but that was a pretty big fight you two had.”

“Seungcheol’s a really big asshole,” you correct.

Jeonghan chuckles lightly. “Alright. Then explain your attire.”

“Dae puked on me last night; Seungcheol let me borrow clothes.”

“He didn’t give you pants?”

“He did,” you trail off. You don’t want to tell him you just didn’t put them on again this morning. How would you explain how they got discarded in the first place?

He’s silent for a moment, trying to put the puzzle together himself.

“Where’s Dae?” he wonders. You’re grateful he decides to let it go.

“Probably at home by now… Can you drop me off there?” you ask. You can’t go home dressed the way you are. Dae will probably be sleeping, as she told you, but a few loud knocks should wake her up.

“Sure. What’s the address?”

You inform him quickly then glance out the window. The sun is shining and the clouds are out. You can’t remember how it feels outside since you were only focused on getting out of there. 

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, letting the sound of the car on the road fill the empty space.

“Whatever Seungcheol did, I hope he can fix it. I know he cares about you,” Jeonghan comments.

Your gaze drops down to your lap. The hoodie you wear comes back into view. You hate how you can still smell him.

“I don’t think he can,” you reply. 

Your mind goes back to what he said to you. Anger was the only emotion fueling you at the time, but now that you’re settling down and your mind is becoming clearer, several emotions creep into your chest. 

Betrayal. Distress. Crestfallen.

Jeonghan releases a small breath. “That bad?”

“Yeah, Jeonghan. He really messed up.”

The ride is quiet now. While you are grateful, you actually wish Jeonghan kept talking. At least then, you would be distracted from your thoughts. 

Seungcheol was just holding you tenderly hours ago. Your body tingles at the mere memory of his gentle touch. He was acting so sweet toward you. For those blissful hours, you felt like you were his. Was he acting? Had he wanted you for different reasons?

Tears prick at your eyes, but you blink them back. You don’t want to cry in front of Jeonghan. You refuse to. 

When you arrive, Jeonghan parks the car and gets out of the vehicle. He comes around to your door and opens it, holding out a hand. For a moment, you imagined his hand is Seungcheol’s. He would always open your door and help you out.

“You don’t have to walk me there,” you say, words mimicking what you’ve told Seungcheol before in the past.

“You’re barely dressed. I’m not risking anything,” he replies. His light, cheerful voice is stern now, and you know he isn’t going to change his mind.

People stare at you strangely in the elevator, but when they peer up at Jeonghan, who stands behind you—something about you hiding your front and him your back—they quickly avert their gaze.

It takes four loud bangs on her door until Dae opens it. Her half-lidded eyes open quickly at your state.

“Am I drunk again? Why does Seungcheol look like Jeonghan?” she asks.

“You’re not drunk. It is Jeonghan,” you reply, then turn to him. “Thank you for driving. I really appreciate it.”

You hope the sincerity in your words is conveyed with your tone. Given the non-cocky smile on his face, you know he understands.

“Even though I’m friends with Seungcheol, know I’m your friend too, Yn. If you need me, you have my number,” Jeonghan says.

You’re not sure if you will ever take him up on his offer since it’s unclear where his loyalties lie between you and Seungcheol, but his intentions are kind, and you’re grateful nonetheless. He starts to walk away but you reach out to stop him.

“Wait,” you quickly say. You pull a set of keys from the hoodie’s pocket. “Give these back to Seungcheol for me? Or toss them in a lake, I don’t care, but take them, please.”

Dread fills Jeonghan’s face when he notices what they’re for. He reluctantly takes the keys from your hand.

“He’s really going to kill me now.”

Luckily for both you and Jeonghan, Seungcheol does not murder him.

For him, it means he has another day to finish his Lego tower. For you, it means he can finish those flyers he promised you.

“There should be twenty-five in there,” Minghao says while pointing to the stack of papers in your hands.

Minghao and Jeonghan completed the flyers for your show, and you are at the latter’s apartment to pick them up. You flip through them quickly—having already seen mock-ups earlier. There are six of each element plus one extra to turn into Dr. Lim.

“These look great, guys,” you say as you finish looking at them again.

“Thanks,” Jeonghan says. “You need help putting them up?”

You raise your eyebrows at him. “You’re really offering to help more?”

“You’re not that bad to work with,” Minghao chuckles, standing from his seat to grab his bag. He came to see if you needed anything else before his class.

“Speak for yourself, Hao—Ow!”

Jeonghan whines when you smack his arm with the flyers.

“Kidding, Yn,” he grumbles, “but yes, we will help you. You’re our friend.”

Their friend.

After years of just having Dae, it’s odd to think you actually have more friends—a lot of them, for that matter. It’s not like you gained two new friends this semester. No, you gained thirteen. Fourteen, if you count Seungcheol, but is he really a friend? Do friends make your heart soar with just a glance? Are friends able to take your heart and leave you feeling like an empty husk? It doesn’t matter now. He isn’t in your life. If he was your friend then, he isn’t anymore.

“If you leave some here, we’ll hang them up later,” Minghao instructs.

You gaze at him, letting yourself focus on what is happening now. You can sorrow in the privacy of your four walls later.

Sighing, you nod and sort a few flyers out from the stack. You place them on Jeonghan’s coffee table.

“Thanks. Just let me know which buildings you put them up in,” you say. “It’ll just save me time in the future.”

“No problem. Well, I’m glad you like them! I should get going before I’m late,” Minghao replies with a small smile on his face. He gives you both a wave before exiting the apartment.

Once Minghao is gone, Jeonghan looks at you. “What are the plans today?”

You shrug. It probably will consist of finishing bringing your designs to life or maybe taking Seoah to get something to eat. Anything to keep yourself busy from your mind.

“Not sure yet,” you reply.

“You know, I’m kind of hurt you didn’t ask me to be one of your models,” Jeonghan says with a playful smile. “Mingyu’s overrated.”

You laugh lightly, rolling your eyes at his latter comment. “Mingyu has the face and body of a model. You…?”

You trail off as your eyes glide down his body teasingly. Jeonghan sits up when he sees what you’re doing, trying to pose nonchalantly.

“Mingyu doesn’t have this hair, though,” Jeonghan comments. His semi-long locks are tied in a half-up-half-down style. It looks good, but you aren’t going to admit that to him.

“True, and thank goodness for that.”

“Hey!”

You laugh at his reaction. “I just didn’t want to overbook you,” you finally explain. “You were already helping me with these flyers.”

“That’s thoughtful of you,” he answers.

“Don’t get used to it,” you huff and start picking up your purse. It’s getting late, and there’s no reason to stay longer.

“Wait, I have something for you,” Jeonghan rushes.

“I already have the flyers,” you say and gesture to the stack.

He smiles, shaking his head as he stands. “Something else.”

You watch as he jogs to his room. There are sounds of things moving around before Jeonghan yells for you to close your eyes. After arguing for a second, you finally relent.

“Are they closed?” he asks from his room.

“They’re not about to be if you take any longer,” you grumble.

You listen to his footsteps become louder as he approaches. Suddenly something is set in your lap.

When Jeonghan instructs you to open your eyes, you peep down to see a bag. Jeonghan gestures to it when you don't open it right away. Hesitantly, you reach inside.

Your hands meet something textured, and you grip it gently to pull it out.

“H-how’d you get this?” you ask slowly. Your wide eyes don’t mask the surprise you feel upon seeing the fabric you had been wanting to get so badly a few weeks ago. However, instead of navy blue, it’s red.

Jeonghan shrugs and watches you nervously. “Do you like it?”

“I—” you start but for once, you are out of words. 

You lay the fabric over your lap as you admire the sheerness, small specks of glitter scattering across the surface. You aren’t able to use it as you originally planned since you’ve already adjusted the design to not use the fabric, and it’s also the wrong color. Regardless, it’s too beautiful to not use in some way.

You are about to thank him when you remember the cost. It isn’t the same color, but it’s the same design and brand, which means it’s probably just as expensive. 

“This was a lot of money,” you state and glance up at Jeonghan. His eyes are roaming around the room then moving to look at you when you speak. “You shouldn’t have bought this.”

Jeonghan smiles, albeit a little bittersweet for a reason you aren’t sure of. “We do a lot of things we shouldn’t when we like someone.”

“Is that your way of saying you like me?” you wonder, folding the fabric to place in the bag again. You mean “like” in a platonic way and hope Jeonghan understands this.

“I do,” he chuckles lightly. “You put up a tough front, but you’re not too bad of a friend.”

Your smile is small at his response. Glad you don’t have to have an awkward conversation about which version of “like” you mean.

“Too bad?” you tease and stand up, your bag and purse on your arm.

Jeonghan tilts his head. “You did threaten to burn my Legos three weeks ago. That wasn’t very friendly.”

“Just imagine that I said that lovingly,” you answer, forcing the memory of that day from your mind. Although you know it won’t be that easy since it already keeps resurfacing.

“Right,” he responds, dragging out the word in a knowing smile. He walks you to the door when he sees you’re ready to leave. He opens the door, watching as you step out with his head resting against the side of the frame.

“Jeonghan?” you say after taking a few steps away. You turn to look at him. He wears that same bittersweet smile on his lips from earlier.

“Yn,” he responds.

“Thank you for… for the fabric. That was very kind of you, and I—” you pause as you try to voice your truest thoughts. It still doesn’t come easy, but you want him to know how grateful you are. “I don’t know if I deserved it.”

“I think you deserve more, but that can be a topic for another day. Get home safely, Yn,” Jeonghan replies as he lifts his head from the door.

You stay still for a moment. His words register in your head slowly while you stare at him. You’ve experienced Jeonghan being nice to you despite his constant jokes, but he’s never said anything on this level before. There is a moment where you think he is lying to you, but even though Jeonghan is playful, you don’t think he would lie to you—especially not now.

You bid farewell to Jeonghan once you collect yourself.

You’re not sure if that day he speaks about will ever come, but you are content with just knowing he thinks highly of you.

Home is better.

Still not Hallmark-perfect, but better. As expected, your mother leaves for another trip somewhere. She stops by, and to your surprise, your father lets her talk to you and Seoah. For once, there is no screaming. No yelling. No hostile attitude from either of your parents. It’s odd yet refreshing.

Your mother apologizes for not always being there for you and your sister. She says she will message you both when she has time. You nod, but you don’t believe her. She has given you the “promise message” before, and it never happened. 

Additionally, if she is truly sorry, she wouldn’t keep leaving when she has a family here. Perhaps that’s a selfish thought, but it doesn’t matter. It won’t make a difference. You’re not sure when or if you’ll see her again. It’s clear she isn’t allowed to stay here if she comes back. Visiting is fine, but that’s all. Despite it all, you wish you are able to see her in the future.

Your father began attending dinners after your mother left. He reasons it’s time to start being more like a family again. You bite your tongue when you want to say he never was part of it to begin with.

The first night together is awkward. Seoah breaks the tension eventually, but it always reverts back to crickets. After a while, your father starts to make small talk. 

How was your day? Is your homework going fine? Are classes hard?

You never are one for small talk, but at least he is trying.

Though he only tries during dinner. As always, he stays inside his office the majority of the day. It’s like nothing changes until it becomes dinner time. Then you are a family. Once that is over, it goes back to normal.

You tell yourself it’s just baby steps, which is better than no steps at all.

“So, Savannah ate her homework as a… dare?” your dad asks at dinner one night.

“No!” Seoah sighs, having tried to get your dad to understand her story for the past five minutes. “It’s because she’s crazy!”

“But I don’t understand why she would do that willingly,” your father replies. He has food on his fork, but it’s paused in mid-air, completely appalled by his daughter’s story.

“No one really knows. The point is she’s insane,” Seoah says.

“And she did this in front of her teacher?”

“She did it in class, so I supposed you could say that. At least she ate the homework that was already graded,” she huffs before stuffing her cheeks full.

“Yes, at least it was graded,” your dad agrees slowly as if he is still processing the story. He then turns to you.

“How’s Dae?”

He finally takes a bite while waiting for your response.

“She’s fine. We’re already done with our projects finally,” you answer.

“Ooh, I’m excited to see them! Dad and I are coming, you know?” Seoah says with a bright smile.

“I know,” you reply, trying to hide the grin that wants to show. You were a little shocked when they first told you they had gotten tickets. Even though you were secretly hoping they would come, you didn’t want to expect it. After all, it would be less disappointing if they didn’t come when your expectations were already low. It’s not that they don’t support you, but with everything going on, you weren’t sure if either of them had the time.

“Are your other friends going too?” asks your father.

Your gaze drops to your lap as you recall the conversation with Mingyu, Seungkwan, and Wonwoo. Seungcheol planned to get his friends—now your friends as well—to come to the show; however, you haven’t spoken to him since that weekend. You don’t know if any of them are coming now that Seungcheol most likely isn’t organizing his “surprise” anymore.

“I’m not sure,” you answer as you roll your shoulders back, sitting up straighter. No reason to be sad over it. You don’t need to be upset about losing someone who looks down on you. If anything, you should be glad you’re not talking to him. Your life is better now. Less drama.

At least that’s what’s been repeating in your head.

“What about that one boy? The one who came here? Seungch—”

“Shh!” Seoah gasps and puts her hand out to stop him. “You’re not supposed to talk about him in this house anymore.”

“W-what? Why not? He was very nice,” your father says. He glances between the both of you puzzled.

They always start that way, huh?

“They’re not talking anymore,” Seoah whispers, but you can hear it clearly.

“Oh,” your dad says and then looks at you with a sympathetic expression. It has you wincing internally. You don’t need his pity. “I’m sorry to hear that, honey. I’m sure he meant a lot to you.”

His words fish out all those thoughts you tried to drown. You aren’t about to spiral in front of your family.

“I’m going to work on my project more. Final adjustments and whatnot. Seoah, do you mind doing the dishes tonight?” you ask as you push your chair back.

“Only because you’re sad,” she replies.

Sighing, you grab your dishes, and place them in the sink.

Before you leave, you mumble, “I’m not sad.”

Seoah makes a sound to let you know she doesn’t believe you but doesn’t bug you about it.

“Way to go, Dad,” you hear her grumble as you’re leaving.

Shutting your bedroom door is akin to shutting off the lights in the world. It transports you to a place only you’re allowed in. A place where you are able to feel everything you have been keeping under lock and key. 

As soon as you hear the familiar click of your door, you feel your knees buckle.

You stagger to your bed and let your body flop onto the mattress. There’s an influx of the thoughts and feelings you had repressed.

Four weeks.

It’s been nearly four weeks since you last saw him. Heard his voice. At least not in conversations.

The first few days after that weekend, you ran into him on campus. Well, more like he found you. He’d call your name; he’d tell you he was sorry and ask for you to listen to him. Though each time, you ignored him. You went the other way and never said a word to him. Eventually, he stopped trying. He stopped finding you. He stopped calling your name. The frequent texts he would send stopped too. Soon, you were truly left with just a memory of him.

You should be glad.

You should be relieved he stopped because each time you saw him, you had the temptation to actually listen to him. To hear his side because you don’t want to believe he had said those things in his apartment. However, that will never happen now. Even if you want it to, you aren’t going to crawl back to him after all this time.

The picture you had taken of both of you is still in your photo gallery. You deleted it when you accidentally stumbled upon it a few days after the fight. Pained at even the sight of him, your finger had hit the trash icon quickly. Despite that, you ended up recovering the photo a few hours later because part of you wasn’t ready to erase him from your life completely.

The words your dad said linger in your mind.

I’m sure he meant a lot to you.

Had he?

In the few months you got to know him, had he really made himself a home in your heart? Perhaps if you say no, you will stop feeling like there is a void in your chest.

The weeks went by quickly. It wasn’t like in the movies or books where the heartbroken character felt their life was moving in slow motion. First, you weren’t heartbroken. Second, you had so much to do regarding your project you didn’t have time to think about him.

A part of your mind told you that working nonstop was your way of coping, but coping with what? What you lost wasn’t meaningful…

He wasn’t meaningful.

Yet as you let that thought roll around your mind, the more your chest feels heavy. The more your vision becomes blurry. The more your body feels weak.

The more you feel suffocated.

Suffocated by the thoughts gripping you and trying to shake you into realization.

Seungcheol had meant something to you. The extent is unknown, but if you were to ever tell someone how much your heart was aching, they would probably say he meant a great deal to you. Though if you allow yourself to agree, it will only cause more pain. So for now, you are fine being in denial.

You close your eyes as you inhale slowly. You hold your breath for a few seconds and then exhale gradually. You repeat this until you start to feel like you can breathe properly.

Images of him appear uninvitingly in the darkness—from when you first opened Jeonghan’s door to see him instead of Minghao then to waking up in his arms while laying in his bed.

It shouldn’t have come to this point. He wasn’t even helping with your project, yet you felt as if you saw him more than anyone else volunteering.

In the recesses of your mind, you can feel his gentle touch on your skin. You recall the moments you had together, but more strongly, you remember the way you felt when you were around him. Your chest would tighten any time he smiled or laughed. Such simple actions had you feeling so joyful. Even more so if you were the reason behind the actions. 

Then you think back to his apartment—before that phone call with Dae. The way you both held each other so tenderly during such an intimate moment. It had you feeling a sort of love you haven’t felt before. You think back to how content you were waking up in his arms. The glimpse of what your life could be like if you were his in his home.

You don’t know how you got here. You don’t know when you started falling for him. You don’t know when the tears started to roll down your cheeks. For the first time since the argument, you let your emotions flow freely.

You can’t believe you’re wasting tears over a guy you met this semester. Though, maybe you're just crying over the fact you no longer feel those feelings anymore. The feeling of being cared for, thought of, loved… Even if neither of you had said that word to the other, it doesn’t take away the feeling of being cherished. Maybe you don’t feel in love, but you could see yourself getting to that point if that argument never transpired. Although his words hurt then, they sting ten times worse now.

Your mind is filled to the brim with thoughts of him. It’s taking such a toll on you that you eventually fall asleep reflecting on your relationship with Seungcheol, dried tear streaks painting your cheeks.

“Mingyu, stop playing around,” you scold for the third time.

Mingyu stops dancing, peering down at you to give you another teasing grin. Perhaps you would’ve found it amusing if you weren’t under a time crunch.

“God, what a shit show,” you hear someone giggle behind you.

You dismiss the voice, knowing it’s probably Tori or Siwon. You only have a limited time to do your dress rehearsal before it’s another student’s turn.

“Worry about your own show, ladies,” Mingyu says above you, voice so stern it has you looking at him a little surprised.

“You never know when something bad might happen during your section in the show,” Jeonghan adds. Although his responsibility for the show is already done, he whined to join you today. Something about being bored and needing something to do. You had said no, but you couldn’t really stop him from following you to the theatre.

You turn around to see Tori and Siwon. They have their bags on their arms, ready to leave since they finished their rehearsals before you.

“Is that a threat?” Siwon gasps.

Jeonghan smiles that not-so-innocent grin and shrugs. “No, but it’s just a general comment. Anything can happen.”

Tori scoffs and then looks at you. “If I find out you’re tampering with other students’ projects, I’m going to tell Dr. Lim so you’ll flunk.”

“As if I need to sabotage your stage,” you reply. “You’ll do that yourself.”

“Oooh,” Jeonghan chuckles, bringing a hand to his mouth for dramatic effect. You shake your head at his reaction, but there is a tiny part of you where you’re pleased.

“You better watch yourself, Yn,” Tori warns.

You smile. “Oh, I will. After all, why would I watch your shit show?”

“You’re—”

“Tori, Siwon, please let Yn get back to her work. Yn, you should be focusing on your fittings and makeup. Not talking,” Dr. Lim instructs as he walks into the backstage room.

Tori and Siwon quickly apologize before they hurry out.

“Yn,” Dr. Lim calls to get your attention. You tear your gaze from your two peers to look at him.

“I heard you, Dr. Lim. I’ll be done before my time ends,” you say.

He gives you a tight-lipped smile before leaving you.

“Sorry,” Mingyu mumbles once they all leave. You exhale gradually and gesture for him to lean down.

“It’s fine, Gyu,” you answer. You quickly fix his hair, then turn him around to show one of the students you selected to help with hair and makeup. “Like this, okay?”

The student nods, taking notes and pictures as they observe the simple style. You want the focus to be on the clothes rather than fancy hair-dos.

You attend to your other models and stylists, making sure the clothes fit well and that the stylists understand what you want them all to look like. You had met with Seokmin earlier to go over the music. It’s pretty simplistic since it’s just one track, but you still want to make sure things go smoothly from all aspects.

Luckily, you finish within your time slot. Mingyu and Jeonghan trail behind you as you exit the building, talking amongst themselves. You figure they’ll go their separate ways once you are done, but nope. You act as if it bothers you, but you kinda like the company. You’ve been so focused on finishing the project that you haven’t had the chance to hang out with many people. If you did, it was only to discuss the final details.

Now that the show is around the corner, you let yourself breathe for a little.

“I don’t need you to pay for me,” you tell Jeonghan when it’s your turn to purchase your drink at the register.

“Think of it as a thank you for letting me tag along today,” he answers and starts to lower his card to the payment device. However, you quickly snatch it from his grip.

“Aye,” he drags out in a whine.

“I said n—”

“Done,” Mingyu cuts in. Your eyes flicker to him, then down at his hand. He just paid for your drink. He gives you a cheeky grin before ordering for Jeonghan and himself.

“Kim Mingyu, you’re a little shi—”

“Shining star,” he finishes for you as he pays for his order. He guides you and Jeonghan from the line to the end counter as you wait for your orders. His mouth is spread into a wide, confident smile. 

Jeonghan laughs at Mingyu’s answer, but you simply glower at the taller man.

“Come on, that was good,” Mingyu pouts when you don’t say anything. He gives your shoulder a poke, trying to get you to agree.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” you announce instead, walking away before either of them can answer.

After you’re done, you walk out with your phone in hand to check on Dae who has her rehearsal after you.

You are typing your message when you hear something fall to the floor. Glancing down, you notice a stray pen.

“Think you can pick that up for me, princess?” a familiar voice asks.

You’ve heard the intolerable voice enough times to know who it is without looking up. Regardless, your eyes lift to see Hajun. 

You notice a change in her appearance. Her outfit is less boring than it normally is. You think she has dressed up for a class assignment, but the attire isn’t professional-like. After all the shit she’s given you for dressing “over the top,” she sure is heading down the same path. 

You grit your teeth in order to stop the snide remark you want to make. 

“Well?” she prompts smugly.

Two options run through your head. The first option is to stomp on the pen with your heel until you hear a satisfying crunch from breaking it. The second is to slam the pen down in her open palm—tip facing downward.

Instead, you chose the safer option. You step over the object and continue your way back to your friends; your text to Dae forgotten.

“Can’t even help a person out by doing a simple task?” Hajun asks. You pause in your steps to look over your shoulder.

“You’re a big girl and fully capable. I’m sure you can solve your own problem,” you reply.

“Bitch,” she mutters under her breath, but it’s loud enough for you to hear. As if that word is meant to make you cry.

Turning around again, you say, “Ditto.”

It isn’t anything rude, but you’re done dealing with her. Nothing is ever going to change, and there is no reason for you to put up with her bullshit.

“That’s why he left you,” she calls out after a few steps. You hear her footsteps near slowly as yours still once more. You know she just wants your attention, but you can’t help but give it to her. 

“He realized you were nothing but a slut who needed something between her legs to be satisfied.”

You stay silent for once as you listen to her words. You don’t need to hear his name to know who “he” is. Your gaze lowers as she stands behind you. Your heart rate is increasing as a mix of emotions courses through you, somewhere between fury and sorrow.

“Is he just one more check mark off your list?” she wonders. “He told us about how pathetic you were at his place. He said he needed a way to get you to leave him alone.”

“Are you sure he didn’t say that about you?” you ask and finally, turn to look at her. Despite your words, she smiles at you cunningly.

Ignoring your question, she continues with her high-horse speech.

“It’s a shame you had him so wrapped around your finger. I told him you weren’t worth it,” she tsks sadly.

You’re not sure why you stand there as she belittles you. Maybe in some sick way, you want to hear every bad thing she has to say about you. Let her get everything off her chest while she can. Not that you need to give her that opportunity. She doesn’t deserve an ego lift.

“I was right, though. He said you were one of the worst fucks he’s ever had,” she giggles. “Truly not worth the chase you were giving. I’m sure everyone you’ve had sex with feels the same. Eventually, they’ll stop chasing someone so worthless.”

The sorrow you felt earlier is overcome by anger. It doesn’t help that she’s staring at you with a Cheshire cat smile that makes you want to slap it off her face. Your hands fist at your sides at the thought. However, before the temptation takes over fully, someone calls your name.

Jeonghan stands at the end of the hall, a drink in each of his hands.

You glance back to Hajun.

She simply shrugs, not bothered by being interrupted. You doubt that’s all she has to say, but for now, it will do. She had gotten under your skin. You should have walked away.

“He’ll stop chasing you soon, too,” she tells you quietly before moving around you and toward Jeonghan.

“Hi Hannie!” she greets cheerfully. You watch as he smiles at her and tells her hello.

Unfortunately, the hallway to the bathrooms is a dead end, and the only way to leave is past Jeonghan and Hajun.

“Is she okay? What’s taking so long?” Mingyu questions as he rounds the corner. Following closely behind him is Seungcheol.

Seeing him should be like seeing a poster on the wall—one glance and move on. Yet, your gaze catches his, and your heart starts to break away from the bandaids you placed on it. Scattered memories of the argument flash before your eyes, yet between those snip-bits are memories of you in his soothing embrace. You can’t help but yearn to feel that one more time.

Besides looking tired, he seems fine. He must have known you were here since he didn’t seem surprised to see you. That, or he simply doesn’t care. The latter is difficult to bear.

Your feet want to move. You want to run and escape the situation you’re put in, but you can’t leave. You just need them to go so you don't have to walk past them.

“Hey,” Jeonghan calls out gently as he takes a few steps forward. He hands the drinks to Mingyu, who has to juggle a little to hold them, before walking toward you.

He gently moves your face so you aren’t looking at Seungcheol anymore.

“Did something happen?” he asks lowly so no one can hear.

“I just need to get out of here,” you mumble, casting your eyes down from his worried one.

“Okay,” he says unhesitantly. “Let’s go then.”

He hooks his arm in yours and starts walking toward the end of the hallway, forcing you to follow him.

“What about your drinks?” Mingyu asks when you both walk past and in the direction of the exit.

“Keep them,” Jeonghan replies, slowing his steps but never stopping fully. You keep your gaze away as he answers. “You paid for them anyway.”

“But—”

“We’ll take them. Here, Cheollie,” you hear Hajun say as you leave.

The air outside feels heavenly.

You inhale deeply, letting yourself breathe after feeling like you couldn’t for the longest time. You’re not sure what you’re more affected by—hearing what Seungcheol had said about you or seeing him for the first time in a long time. 

You should let her words flow from one ear and out the other, but some things she said already planted themselves in your mind. And of course, you water those seeds until they sprout to consume your thoughts.

Were you not worth it to Seungcheol to fight harder for you? Not just after the argument but before. His lack of loyalty to you was always an issue with him. You didn’t care if he had a project with Hajun and the others. You didn’t care if he knew them for longer. You were tired of not being his first. You had always split that position with Hajun. At least that’s what you felt. Maybe he kept her around for reasons he didn’t disclose. Even then, how much did she mean to him?

Loud footsteps sound behind you quickly. Before you can fully turn back to see who or what is emitting the noise, a hand is on the arm Jeonghan isn’t holding.

“Yn,” Seungcheol rasps, eyes wide and pleading.

Jeonghan stops in his tracks as he flickers his gaze between you both.

“Maybe another time, Seungcheol,” he says gently, so as to not offend him.

“Let’s let her decide that,” Seungcheol responds, his jaw clenching slightly as he gives a warning glare in his direction. You don’t like the expression he gives Jeonghan.

Even though his hand awakens sleeping butterflies in your stomach, you move it from you—catching his attention. His firm features immediately soften.

“Can we talk?” he asks.

You want to say yes, but after hearing Hajun’s words from earlier, you’re not sure if you want to anymore. He’s allowed to speak to his friends about whatever he wants, but you had hoped he would’ve done so respectfully.

“Depends,” you answer. “Are you going to go twist my words to your friends?”

His eyebrows push together. “What are you talking about? I wouldn’t do that.”

“And I wouldn’t use a needle to sew,” you reply sarcastically.

“Seriously, Cherry. Let’s go somewhere private and talk. Please?” he says, eyes glancing up at Jeonghan who still stands next to you.

Hearing that nickname after so long makes your brain short-circuit. You’re a little surprised that he used it since you aren’t on speaking terms. Nicknames are normally reserved for friends… Does he think you’re still friends with him? That’d be sad if he did considering how he treated you before.

“I’ve heard everything I needed to hear,” you argue.

“No, you haven’t,” he sighs. His eyes move to see Mingyu and Hajun leaving the building. It’s not going to be long until they catch up.

“Do you plan to whisper sweet nothings in my ear until I forgive you?” you question with venom.

“No, I—”

“One day, you’ll see my clothes in a shopping window and think, ‘Wow. How did I ever sleep with someone so out of my league?’” you hiss out, narrow eyes locking on his. 

“Instead of your clothes, he’ll see a used napkin in the wind and think, ‘Wow. I should’ve pushed her out of my life sooner,’” you hear Hajun's voice before you can see her. 

Seeing Hajun next to Seungcheol reminds you of all the problems you have with him. Even though you did miss him, you don’t miss this—feeling like you are getting ganged up on while Seungcheol stands there and does nothi—

“Be quiet, Hajun,” Seungcheol snaps. “I’m tired of you getting in my business.”

His aggressive tone takes everyone by surprise.

You never heard him like this; not to you, not to anyone. It’s a whole new Seungcheol you have yet to discover. One you don’t want to be on the receiving end of. You can only imagine how Hajun is feeling.

“W-what? But I’m only trying to help,” she sputters, trying not to look as startled as she probably feels. It seems it’s her first time seeing this Seungcheol, too.

“Did I ever ask for your help? For fuck’s sake, just stop bothering Yn.”

Hajun’s eyes widen like saucers, mouth opening slightly at his words. You watch the scene before you. Your expression is probably the same as Hajun’s.

She looks at you, shock turning into irritation.

“You said something to him, didn’t you?” she accuses. That pulls you from your surprised daze.

Rolling your eyes, you answer with a forced smile, “Ah, yes, I bewitched him so he’d tell you to fuck off. Isn’t that right, Cheollie?”

You glance up at him when using the nickname, eyelashes batting obnoxiously.

“Cherry,” Seungcheol scolds lightly with a groan, hand coming up to rub at his temples.

“Who the hell is Cherry?” Hajun questions, miffed.

“What did I say, Hajun?” Seungcheol responds instead. “Stop talking shit about Yn. Stop trying to fight her.”

Hajun scoffs. “If anything, she’s trying to fight me!”

“And I’ll win, too,” you comment under your breath, causing Jeonghan to yank on your arm slightly with a shake of his head. You forgot he’s here.

“What did you just say, bitch?” Hajun asks you. You open your mouth to repeat what you said, but Seungcheol’s voice interrupts you.

“Leave, Hajun,” he says and stares at her. Even though it isn’t directed at you, you can tell how intimidating it is.

“You’re really going to let her control you, Seungcheol?!” she exasperates, almost desperately.

“Now,” he demands.

Hajun’s mouth opens again, but nothing comes out. She glances at Mingyu and Jeonghan as if they will say something; however, neither of them does. With one last look at Seungcheol, she spins on her heels and walks away.

You all watch her for a few seconds. The awkward silence is starting to make you feel uncomfortable.

“She could’ve at least taken the drinks,” Mingyu says, trying to break the tense atmosphere. You peer at him to see he has all the drinks again.

Seungcheol disregards him to speak to you. His voice has lost that firmness to it. “Yn, just five minutes.”

You still want to say no, yet, this is your chance to listen to him without having to appear desperate for closure. Perhaps you can finally get him out of your mind if you agree.

“Fine,” you yield and glance at Jeonghan.

“I’ll wait here with Mingyu,” he informs. You would have told him it was fine, but after rejecting Dae’s offer to pick you up at Seungcheol’s that day, you want to have someone to turn to in case this conversation ends like the last.

“Thanks,” you mumble.

Seungcheol guides you both to sit on a bench nearby. You sit on opposite ends with your hands in your lap.

“I’m sorry” is the first thing he says as you get settled. He tucks his hands in his hoodie’s pocket, reminding you you still have to return the one you have someday.

His back leans against the bench while he shifts his eyes on you. “I’m sorry for the awful things I said. I don’t think you’ve slept with everyone on campus, and I don’t agree with what Hajun and Hana have said about you.”

You rub your lips together, staring at him at first but then averting. The events of that day come to the forefront of your mind. Though they’ve never been far from it to begin with. You wonder if you overreacted at the time, but you’re so emotionally involved with him it’s hard to tell. No doubt his words stung; especially after engaging in such vulnerable moments with him and slipping into that fantasy life you had created for the both of you. All for it all to evaporate with what? A so-called joke?

“You don’t have to forgive me right now, or ever, but I would still like to talk to you… to try to get back to where we were before I fucked up,” he continues when you remain quiet.

Your first response in your head is no, that won’t be possible. You just want to move on. But that answer spurs from having your defensive walls around you. What if you get close like before, only for something else to tear you apart?

Sighing, you begin playing with the end of your clothes.

“What did you tell Hajun?” you ask in lieu of answering his silent question.

Seungcheol tilts his head at the sudden topic change. “I told her to leave you alone.”

“No,” you shake your head and look at him. “What did you tell her after that day?”

He’s silent for a moment as he digs around his thoughts for an answer.

“I didn’t tell her anything. She just asked where you were,” he replies.

The look on your face conveys your disbelief.

“You didn’t tell her we had sex?” you asked.

“W-what? No. There was no reason to,” he says. You can see the shock on his face from your question.

“Then how does she know?”

“Does she?” he asks.

“Yes.”

Seungcheol ponders on the information. “Well, she did ask as a joke, but I didn’t tell her we did,” he answers.

You take a deep breath. Another joke, huh?

“Did you tell her we didn’t then?” you wonder.

He shakes his head.

“Seungcheol,” you scold while bringing a hand to your temples.

He pouts, scooting closer to lower your arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think she’d figure it out. It wasn’t her business to know.”

“No, it wasn’t,” you concur sadly. The warmth of his hand spreads up your arm, bringing back a sense of familiarity that makes you want more but also want to pull away in fear of losing it again.

“What else did she s—”

The sound of your phone going off startles you both.

You pull away to grab it. Seoah’s name appears at the top.

“One second,” you murmur before answering and turning away.

“Yeah?” you greet.

“Are you almost home?” Seoah asks.

“No, did you need something?”

She releases a loud sigh on the other end. “Yeah. Dad’s cake. You’re going to be late.”

Shit.

You completely forgot about your father’s surprise birthday party. Seoah invited a few of his co-workers over to celebrate, and you’re supposed to pick up the cake on the way home from rehearsal. It’s going to be the first time in a while since you do anything big like this. Normally, his birthday consists of only you and Seoah singing him a happy birthday with a present.

“I’m so sorry. Look, just start without it,” you say and begin to stand. Seungcheol follows you, waiting patiently as you stay on the call.

You pull the device from your ear despite Seoah talking.

“I have to go,” you inform.

Seungcheol’s lips dip in a frown, but it quickly disappears. “Can we meet this weekend so we can talk more?”

“I can’t. I have the—”

“The show. I know,” he pauses. “I’ll be there.”

The phone call is forgotten instantly at his words. He’ll be at the show? The show you’ve been working on? You figured that would be the last place he’d be.

“Y-you will?” you stutter.

Seungcheol smiles, but it isn’t anywhere near his eyes. “We can talk the next day. I figure you’ll be busy after.”

“I-Uh… Yeah,” you reply, not sure what to say. You want to ask why and when he got the tickets. You want to know if he is being forced to go or if it’s a decision he made all on his own. Though, none of those questions come out.

“Are you even listening to me?” Seoah’s voice is loud. “Who are you with? Is it Jeonghan? Tell him to go away, so you can grab the cake.”

Seungcheol glances at the phone in your hand. His face morphs into something you can’t read, though you catch the way his jaw clenches briefly. You’re not sure if it’s because he recognizes Seoah’s voice or if it’s something she said. Regardless, you ignore it and change your focus to your sister.

“I’m on the way now, relax. You’re not cutting it at the start anyway,” you reason. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

You hang up the call before you can hear more of her complaining.

“Sorry,” you apologize as you look at Seungcheol again. He seems lost in his thoughts. It’s odd to see him this way since you feel you’re usually the one in his position.

You take a few seconds to scan his face properly. Even with his slightly visible eye bags, you find him handsome. Your fingers twitch with the desire to touch him, to feel his warm body against yours and see that smile that has you smiling back.

“Seungcheol?” you ask softly when you realize neither of you has spoken.

His eyes snap to yours. “Right,” he clears his throat. “So, the next day?”

“Okay,” you agree before you can overthink the decision. You know you need to resolve the issue in order to continue with your life—whether it’s one with him in it or not.

“We can go to that café? I can pick you up,” he offers.

Having been used to him driving around, you almost say yes, but you learned your lesson of not having your own transportation.

“It’s fine. I’ll meet you there,” you reply.

“Alright,” he says slowly, allowing you time to change your mind. When he senses that isn’t going to happen, he adds, “I’ll see you this weekend.”

“See you,” you say, gaze lingering on his for a little too long before you tear yourself away. 

You find Jeonghan with Mingyu a couple of feet away. They both look up when they hear you near.

“All good?” Jeonghan wonders.

You shrug. “For now, I guess. Thanks for waiting.”

Jeonghan stands, a drink in his hand. Mingyu still has the third.

“Anytime. Do you still want that?” Jeonghan asks as he gestures to the third drink. You glance at it, shaking your head. You don’t know if it’s contaminated.

“No one’s drunk out of it,” Mingyu reassures; however, you still shake your head.

“Thanks, though. I’ll pay you back for it,” you say.

Mingyu smiles. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Still want some company to your car?” Jeonghan questions.

“That’d be nice,” you smile slightly. Jeonghan nods. After you both say goodbye to Mingyu, you lead Jeonghan in the direction of your parked car.

You haven't seen Seungcheol’s face in weeks. While seeing him again is difficult, it feels like you can breathe again. The temptation to glance back at him is strong. You want to see him again.

And so you do.

Only to find his eyes already locked on you.

Something about his look captivates your attention. His expression isn’t settled in a set emotion; it ranges from longing to worry to hope. Jeonghan guides you down the sidewalk, talking about something you don’t know. It’s not until you turn a corner that you’re forced to break your gaze due to a building obstructing your view.

You’re anxious about this weekend and unsure how your life will change. The fashion show is a big deal for you, but so is Seungcheol. It’s nerve-wracking to not know how everything will end.

previous chapter \\ pretty please masterpost // next chapter

A/N: Next chapter will be the last one in the series! Ahhhhhvfjsnbfgkvkd

For my “shy/silent” readers, I’ve created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^

taglist: @iammisstora, @christinewithluv, @lithelust, @musingsofananxiouspotato, @yoozuku, @lockburn-castle, @mystikhal-blog, @oncloudvii23 (cant tag :c), @cheolcherries, @mingyublues, @maknae00, @morklee02, @kittyhui, @comounlunar(cant tag :c), @minhui896, @doom-fics

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

[angstintensifer]

Some wolf family and Twyleen incorrect quotes for y’all and my heart 💞

Twyla: Valentine’s Day is a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than driving people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Howleen: I wrote you a poem.

Twyla, already crying: you did?

***

Howleen: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

Twyla :

Howleen:

Twyla : ...Please, go back to bed.

***

Twyla : I need a long word.

Howleen: T-rex but the long one.

***

Twyla: Why are you on the floor?

Howleen: I'm depressed.

Howleen: Also I was stabbed, can you get Clawdeen, please.

***

Twyla : How would you like your coffee?

Howleen: As dark as my soul.

Twyla : Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

***

Twyla : You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Howleen: Awww, thanks-

Twyla : That’s not a good thing.

Howleen: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

***

Howleen: I want to kiss you.

Twyla , not paying attention: What?

Howleen: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Twyla, hearing exactly what she said: I won't miss you either

***

Twyla : Damn, the power went out.

Howleen: Don’t worry, I got this.

Howleen: *stomps foot*

Twyla : What-?

Howleen: *Sketchers light up*

Twyla: babe, why are you like this?

***

Howleen: Twyla , do you love me?

Twyla : Of course I do.

Howleen: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Twyla : Well, of course I… would…

Howleen: I mean something really, really—

Twyla : Howleen, what did you do?

***

Clawdeen: I know you snuck out last night, Howleen.

Twyla: Play dumb!

Howleen: Who's Howleen?

Twyla: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

***

Howleen: *Screams*

Clawdeen : *Screams louder to assert dominance*

Clawdia: Should we do something?!

Clawd, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

***

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Clawdeen: Shit.

Clawdia: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Clawd: OH MY GHOUL HOWLEEN FELL OFF!!!

***

Clawdia: You know those things will kill you, right?

Clawdeen, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Clawd, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Howleen: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

***

Clawdia, about Howleen: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Clawd: Are we stealing them?

Clawdeen: New or used?

Clawdia: Wonderful responses, both of you.

***

Clawdeen: Dammit, Clawd!

Clawd: What?! It wasn’t me!

Clawdeen: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Clawdia!

Clawdia: Not me either.

Clawdeen: Oh...Then who set the house on fire?

Howleen: *whistles*

[firstkokon0is]

tokrev characters when you did the “i told you to look good today” prank to them

lol this trend is quite old but its been on my mind lately but yall can request sum goods to me😁👍

tw: heavy swear words and grammar errors

characters: draken, mikey, mitsuya, baji, chifuyu, hakkai, takemichi.

gn reader

DRAKEN

the moment those words came out of your mouth he just stared at you

while you’re smiling idiot

he will literally just stare at you

“yea same to you” showing a annoying smile

he get the situation, HE KNOWS HE LOOK GOOD SO THIS AINT GNNA WORK

you guys just laugh it off, you didn’t even told him that it was just a prank because he already knew it but will still ask you in the middle of your date

“hey is my style in clothes really aint that good? were you serious? i mean its not that bad…..” he said while looking himself up through his phone camera

“nope, i thought you get the joke but oh well……ken, you look so good everytime yk even if u wear nothing u still can pull it off” you told him and smack his bald head playfully

“yea yeaa i would’ve gone feral if u went and bash my hair instead of my clothes so thats a relief” he respond with a smile

“ken why this hair-”

“aight im leaving”

“no hakahajwlwbsha”

took the joke very well

MIKEY

he spent hours looking for good clothes for this date, there’s clothes everywhere in his room and still “damn…..there’s nothing to wear”

AND WHEN U TOLD HIM THOSE WORDS???

he just pout, told you that he’s sorry, and he spent hours looking for something to wear to match your style and many more reasons

pls apologize to him

but when you told him that its a prank he just pout and said “not a good joke y/n i know you were lying because i really look good, i knew its was a prank”

just agree with him lol

will think of pranks that he could do to you for revenge, literally stressing about it while on the date with you

he wants to say the same thing to you but he can’t because you look beautiful today, just for him, and will smile just looking at you

while walking to the park he will even ask himself “does my style really match them?” “should i be the one to adjust and put my taste on clothes higher?” “i should ask mitsuya about fashion things” his mind is just filled with questions

“mikeyyyyyyy, you look good today i was just doing a silly prank im sorry if that made you feel bad, not gonna lie you’re drippy as fuck”

“i know i know im gonna prank you next time real hard” he said “if i catch you we’re gnna switch wardrobes” he said as he started to chase you around the park

in the end he came over to your place and explore your wardrobe and tried your clothes, he even stole some of your hoodies and shirts.

MITSUYA

overthinks

this mf thinks he looks good no matter what

duh he’s a designer

“well y/n i think you’re right, and i should style you sometimes dont you think?”

your hand went to your mouth so fast

he laughed at your reaction and hug you

“just kidding you look good, we look good i know that trend damn thats old” he said

you smack him playfully for that, his reaction is normal but because of that he wants to be more stylish

he can take a joke yk

after a lot of overthinking he suggests to shopping with you

even though he have some knowledge about designing and how to look good he thinks your taste in clothes is so good

will think that he’s right for you and you’re right for him

he’s your 4lyferss😩

BAJI

he will give you that “excuse me” face with a hand oh his chest because he’s offended as fuck.

“babe stop fooling people, and yourself we both know i look good”

“you dare to bash my drip hell no baby”

will brag his clothes for like 15 minutes just to prove what you’re saying is wrong

“this shirt i brought this online with a nice fabric its not cheap mf”

“my pants, you see this huh? see those sutffs on tiktoks where they style their own pants i did this shit its so cool”

“now now, baby see this shoes? oh dont even get me started but hey you look nice today hehe can i take you on our date now?”

he went from being defensive and screaming proving his shit right to his signature smile

by just that he already made your day, you really cant out keisuke baji

because he is baji, he will look good for you, and you look good for him, he will joke you around, tease you a lot, you will also do the same to him.

100% can take a fucking joke. and it will be like a competition to him.

CHIFUYU

confused baby

im sure you feel a lot of guilt rn

because baby panicked

will suggest to go back to his house and change his clothes if you want

pls apologize 😭

almost cried because he thinks he’s a bad boyfriend again lol

will spat a lot if reason like, he’s in hurry, he’s been overthinking this date since last night.

but boy he look good actually he has drip

“nononono baby, you look good i just saw the thing on tiktok so i thought it will be funny but damn im sorry i-” you didn’t even finish when he laughed

“ohhhhhh yeaaaa that trend fuck, how could i forget, nice one you got me there god dammit ill take revenge sometimes” he said laughing slightly

well he’s always on tiktok, have some few vid too, actually some went viral bc of takemichi being dumb

just like mitsuya too, will suggest to just go shopping with him and tell him what kind of clothes that you’re interested in

would love to buy your clothes for you but he’s just a broke middle schooler but he promised you that both of you will shopping someday

he took that prank seriously but when he knew that it was a joke its fine

life goes on for him

HAKKAI

oh my god please y/n why

you always complement his style because its true he has some style

after you told him that he will just scratch the back of his neck and said

“my other clothes are still wet haha…..i mean i dont look bad i mean……”

apologize, drop on your knees and do it.

nah jk

u gave in a small laugh and said sorry to him

he know about this trend actually but he never actually expect you to have the guts to do that to him

he knew about his shy personality and he knew that you know about this

he’s not offended just taken by surprise that you actually did that to him

“well anyways i dont care about me you look good today y/n”

you immediately regret saying those stuffs to him bc he’s sweet hot and respectful

but its a joke anyways he enjoyed the silly joke

he knew he look good lmao

yuzuha will be hearing this

she will prolly scold you for doing that

are you gnna repeat the silly prank again?

TAKEMICHI

💀💀💀💀💀

he will run

run back to his home attack his wardrobe and find a good clothes

ofc you feel bad so you followed him

you saw him looking for a new clothes to wear

you told him its a prank but he still didn’t want to go out looking like that

so you just decided to style him yourself

he thinks you’re right

he looks bad, his style is not it

but overall happy for pranking him and making him realize that he need to be as your same style

“takemichi, look i dont care…..whoever told you that you look bad i will kick their face, to me what ever you wear your fun personality and the reason that i fell inlove with you wont disappear” you put a hand on the top of his head and he just

cried.

“im sowwyyy- i- i cant look good- fuck ughhghuh- please dont leave me i-” he’s crying mess on your chest

“STOP CRYING DAMMIT YOU ALWAYS LOOK GOOD,”

you will never prank him again

no pls dont do it again

[poprock-the-baker]

Supportive Brother

Dominick and Joseph we're heading into the locker room to start the period. Dominick had a free period at the end of the day and just chilled in the locker room away from people, Joseph just so happened to have football practice at the same time so it worked out for them both.

"SHIT! Dammit coach is gonna kill me..." Joseph said starting to sweat.

"What did you do now dumbass, you better not have forgotten your sports equipment." Dominick said back to his worried friend.

"No! I forgot my cup today! I need one or coach won't let me do practice!" Joseph was looking everywhere for the cup in his bag, starting to get frantic.

"Just get one from the pile of discarded one? They are there for that purpose." Dominick said pointing at the box of cups in the corner.

"No! Coach told us that we can't grab them from there... That it's our responsibility to bring them from home, your brother is the only one allowed to get them from there..." Joseph said looking sad then looked over at Dominick with a slight smile. Dominick gave him a glare as he looked over.

"I know that look on your face, I don't want any part in it." Dominick said before having his mouth covered by Joseph's hand.

"Will you just be my cup for this one practice? I'll turn you back right after it's over! Please!?" Joseph said giving Dominick the look of puppy eyes.

"Dammit... This is the last time I'm letting you turn me into anything! Just hurry it up and put my shit in your locker ok." Dominick slowly stood up and held out his hand to Joseph, knowing how this worked by now.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH DOM! OH MY GOD I WONT BE BENCHED! oh stay still!" Joseph said as he grabbed Dominick's hand as he slowly changed Dominick into a small athletic sport support cup and placed it onto the bench and picked up all the clothing that fell to the floor and put it into his locker along with Dominick's bag. "Let's get you on so I can get to practice!"

The world suddenly changed for Dominick, first being taller than his friend to being right in his hand. He was facing the ground at the moment, and to his horror he saw in slow motion that Joseph had forgotten to tie his laces. As he slowly walked to sit down his left foot stepped on the laces of his right foot and Dominick felt himself get released. He saw the locker room door get pushed in as someone walked in, and he landed in the box of discarded cups.

"FUCK! SHIT!" Joseph cursed as he hit the floor with his arm to catch himself. He looked over at the door that creaked as Dominick's older brother came into view.

"Damn dude. I saw that! Lemme get it out for you, I need to get one for myself anyways." Dominick's older brother Dylan said as he came over and grabbed two, handing one to Joseph.

"Omg thank you! I didn't want to mix up mine with the others!" He said as he looked at the brand new one in his hand and the brand new one in Dylan's hand too. "Damn, that's a new one too. Why is it in the box?"

"Oh, someone bought the wrong size cups and couldn't return them so they gave them to coach and he just dumped them in here. I've been meaning to get a new one as mine broke last practice, so I'm glad that there are some good ones!" Dylan said as he placed the 'new' cup down on the bench next to him as he stripped down and started getting ready. Everything had turned out fine.

But the world was the opposite of fine for Dominick. He saw Joseph and his brother talking as Dylan came over and grabbed him and another. He was happy he got recognized and getting back to Joseph, but soon that was shown to not be the case. Dylan handed the other cup over to Joseph as they both started chatting and laughing. Joseph didn't notice anything wrong as he looked at the cup in his hand and then over to Dominick. That was when the real terror set in. He was suddenly set down on the hard wooden bench and looked up to see his big brother getting naked right in front of him. He slowly saw Dylan get his athletic support boxers and started putting them on without a care in the world.

"So have you seen Dominick recently Joseph? I know he is usually here with you for practice. I need to tell him I'm not gonna be home for a bit, me and my boyfriend are gonna finally do it after dinner tonight." Dylan said with a smile as he held his dick and gave Joseph a good look at his hung member, then reached over for his cup and started to slide it into his boxers.

Dominick was freaking out. He was hearing his brother was about to have sex and then showing off his dick that was laying in wait inside his boxers. Then to his horror he saw Dylan reach to grab him and he felt his brothers fingers wrap around him as he was slowly slid down into the pouch, feeling his brother's soft dick on his back as he hear the elastic snap shut and his brother laugh with Joseph.

"Hey, tell me how it goes, I've been meaning to ask you two on a double date again with me and Victor." Joseph said putting his cup on, then grinding it against his crotch.

"Got it! And damn... That person had great taste in Athletic Cups, this thing feels amazing. It fits me perfectly, I think ill just use this one till it breaks! I was planning on buy a new one but now what's the point." Dylan laughed as he leaned over and started getting fully ready. He grabbed his crotch and grinded it slowly. "Oh I'm definitely keeping this one."

Dominick was so disturbed now, his brother had just declared he was going to keep him and his panic was setting in fully now. He watched as Joseph started to grind his crotch, no doubt thinking it was him. Then Dylan put on his sports equipment and swiftly copied which sent shivers down his spine as he felt a warm goo against his back.

Soon the bell rung and the locker room was filled with the rest of the team and they were soon all ready for the field. Dylan quickly grabbed Joseph and brought him to the side as they walked out.

"Thanks for dropping your cup dude, you helped me get a great one! It's super supportive and I can't wait to break it in with Malcolm~" Dylan said as he held his hand on his crotch again looking at Joseph.

"Thanks for finding mine dude! It's special and I can't lose it. So you helped me and I helped you~" Joseph said as he looked at Dylan's sexy action.

Dominick was in hell as he heard all of these things, he knew what it all meant and hoped to be found soon but he felt a surge through him as the warm precum seeped into his body. Then the practice started and he slowly lost the will to complain and fight the fear anymore, as he started to slowly cry realizing what was his future.

----

The practice was soon over and they all went back to the locker room. Joseph took of this equipment and placed his cup in his bag before getting dressed and gave Dylan a high five. "I'm heading out. Gotta get home quickly! Later dude!" He said as he ran down the street to his place and took the cup out of his bag and started the process to turn the cup back. But nothing happened.

Meanwhile Dylan was getting undressed out of his equipment but left the boxers and cup on as he got dressed and looked over at Joseph's locker. "Huh, Dominick must have come by while we were practicing. Well he'll be fine without me." Dylan said as he took his jeans and zipped them up over Dominick, who was silently crying knowing his life was sealed away as his brother's athletic cup until he broke and was discarded.

That was his future, trapped to be nothing but a supportive brother.

[daddy-issues-99]

Boba Fett x f!reader

TW mentions of SA

1k words

You had been accompanying the bounty hunter for a while now.  About a year ago Boba Fett was making his was to Tatooine to catch a small bounty in one of the towns.  By the time he got there the suns had almost gone down and few people were left in the shops.  He made his way into a small supply shop where his bounty was said to be.  He glanced passed the shelves not seeing much but eventually spotted a girl looking at some supplies near the back of the store.

‘There you are’ he thought to himself.  Slowly he made his was over to the girl ready to get his payment.  Right before he could grab you you bolted.  “Dammit!” He sprinted after you but you were fast, running as fast as you could you sprinted through the town but soon realized how small this town was.  In less than thirty seconds you were at the edge of the town with no where to hide.  before you could even think of what your next move would be you felt someone grab your shoulder and push you to the nearest building.  You began to panic, ‘This cant be it, not again’ You thought to yourself as you began to tear up.  You had been wanted for a long time, not for any good reason either.

Boba saw how startled you were, sure people get upset when caught but this?  This isn't normal.  “..please.”  He looked to see tears streaming down your face.  “Please don't take me back there.”  Who were frozen in place staring at the ground to scared to look up.  Boba knew of the man who hired him and had some idea of why you were so shaken about being taken back.  

“Ill make you a deal.”  You looked up to see his hands folded across his chest.  “Your bounty isn't worth much, its isn't even worth the effort at this point.”  He shifted and took a step forward “You can work for me to compensate for what it took traveling here and in return I wont turn you in.”  You were shocked, you had never been offered something like this before, was this a trick?  You looked up as he raised his hand and with that the deal was made.  

ever since that day you worked for Boba Fett and assisted him on the job, anything from finding a bounty to taking him in.  Over this period of time you two became quite fond of each other, never leaving for a bounty without the other and always keeping the other in mind.  After a while Boba even let you live in his small apartment with him in the underside of Coruscant.  It wasn't much but its better that what you could have guessed.  You got to stay on the couch and have access to most of the space excluding a few areas, mostly his personal areas like his bedroom and storage areas.  

This became your norm, doing the few tasks that Boba set up for you and eventually crashing on his couch to go get a bounty the next morning.  One night however you couldn't get you mind to quiet.  You had always had problems with anxiety and paranoia but it usually never got this bad.  After a few hours of trying to calm yourself you managed to fall asleep but it was no comfort.  As soon as you closed your eyes all that came was nightmares.

You were back on your home planet a few years ago when your father appeared Infront of you.  He had never liked you, you were his only child and where you come from to not have a son is bad luck so your father resented you.  You looked up at him and glanced to see his clothes.  You remembered this day.  He grabbed your arms and threw you into one of his old ships and took you to one of the richer towns on your planet.  You were screaming and crying trying to reason with him but the minute he opened the door he grabbed you and threw you inside a large house in front of a man.  You recognized him, he worked with your father.  You always avoided him, he gave you a bad feeling and always made you uncomfortable and the rumors of him made your suspicions even worse.

You father pulled you up by your hair and presented you to the man.  “Your payment” he said.  Payment?  Your father had always been one gamble and you were his only thing left to give as payment.  The man gave a sickening smile and grabbed you from your fathers arms and began to drag you away.  You were screaming, kicking, anything to try and get out of his grasp but to no avail.  Still screaming you woke up to someone shaking you and calling your name.  Even through the tears you could see it was Boba.

“Are you alright?”  Still crying you tried to hid your face but he had seen everything.  “What happened?”  He asked hands still on your shoulders.  Slowly but surly you began to explain the dream you had and why you reacted the way you did when he came to return you to that man.  After you explained yourself you had managed to stop crying and glanced to look at Boba's face.   He gave a sympathetic smile trying to comfort you. 

“Its going to be okay”  He said as he began to stand to go back to his own room.  He stopped when he felt you grab his hand.  “Please don't leave”  You were surprised when you felt him gently pick you up.  He carried you into his room and placed you down on his bed.  You looked up at him but he said nothing just gave a simple smile and got onto his side of the bed.  

“As long as I’m here nothing will happen to you.”  He leaned over and kissed the top of your head giving you that same look.  That night you managed to fall asleep with something you haven't felt in years; safety. 

[hongism]

ateez reaction to their s/o being pregnant:

he would be absolutely over the moon first of all

beaming overjoyed so thrilled

he would immediately be thinking of names as soon as he gets the news

then he would be asking you all sorts of questions

whether you’re okay, how you’re feeling, whether you need him to more

he would definitely take up more chores around the house for you

he just wants to make sure you have the most painless experience you can possibly have

and if you’re uncomfy or in pain, then he’s gonna feel the same bc it hurts to see him baby in pain :((

will be singing to your stomach every single night before you go to bed

will be playing music for the baby and holding his phone speaker to your stomach 

“how many pairs of socks do you think the baby will need?”

“should we get a backup stroller? no? too much?”

seonghwa was Made to be a parent okay

he has such a caretaker attitude to him and being a parent would be his biggest accomplishment

just having a baby and taking care of you throughout your pregnancy would be his life goals

he would drop Everything for you esp during your pregnancy

and when he first gets the news, he wont want to leave you alone for a second

he might get a bit overbearing at times but it’s all out of love

he Will rub your feet and ankles without complaint

he will OFFER to do it even if you’re like “ew gross honey no”

he just needs to take care of you so don’t deprive him of that he’s fragile too

“i can go to the store right now if you need me to” “you’re making dinner” “and?”

“don’t open the door, i’ll do it for you, okay?”

more under the cut!

yunho would be the Absolute Best Father

he was also made to be a parent

he’s the type who would talk to your stomach constantly throughout your pregnancy

he would tell the baby about his day and your day

he would gush about you and talk about how wonderful you are

would try to help out and do more chores

but somehow he always manages to get the vacuum cord tangled around your houseplant and knocks it over every time

and you’re like “babe just let me do it”

but he’s determined to Help so you just have to let him do it

he would 10/10 be littering you with compliments 24/7

“wow you’re glowing today look at you”

“is that a new outfit? you look amazing!”

yeosang is a sleeper fr bc he might not seem like it but he secretly wants a baby so badly

he might be a little quiet in his excitement and happiness but seriously he’s so!!! 

you’ll probably get calls from the other members like ‘pls shut him up he will not stop talking about the baby’

but he gets shy about showing his excitement in front of you

especially if you’re in pain because he will feel bad for not being able to do more for you

so he’ll suddenly show up with your favorite things and a new blanket or he’ll randomly prepare baths for you

he will do little things that add up a lot bc he just wants to do whatever he can to make you comfortable

“i got your favorite takeout for tonight, i figured you’d want it”

“i went out and bought the baby supplies you had written down”

i keep saying this but honestly all of ateez would be such great dads like come on

and SAN would be a stellar father

he’s so caring and gentle and lovely

such a precious bean :c who just wants to give you the universe

and he’ll want to do the same for the baby too

that’s his baby yes he’s gonna do anything for his child

even before the baby is born, san will be spoiling tf out of her

super fascinated whenever he sees the baby kick

like omg that’s in you?! that’s in you! woah that’s so neat?

he’ll have so many questions too like does it hurt how do you feel all that jazz

he will give you daily massages and sing to you softly to make you feel better :c

“omg i heard a heartbeat” “that’s my stomach growling idiot” “omg the baby spoke to me just now”

“i picked up three strollers today - a day stroller, a night stroller, and a groovy stroller for park days” “you what.”

mingi would be so overjoyed to the point of tears like mans will be sobbing when you tell him you’re pregnant

he won’t know what to say so he’ll just motion to your stomach and cry harder

he’s so ready to be a dad but at the same time he’s really nervous

even when not around you, he will just always be asking questions

the other will be like “he asked about babies for six hours today but i don’t think he retained any information”

he will have a little notebook to keep track of things to do

keeps notes on how to change diapers and how to properly burp and feed a baby

he just wants to make sure everything is Perfect for his little one

writes down little love letters to the baby too once a week

so that he can give them to your child later on

and he would be so excited about it 

“look baby i wrote another letter for mini me!”

“if the baby starts crying in the middle of the night, don’t worry about getting up. i’ll take care of everything”

it would take a minute for wooyoung to realize what’s going on

even if you say “i’m pregnant” he might just go ._. for a minute before he realizes what you’ve said and it really sinks in

then cue loud screaming and happiness

he is still going to be as chaotic and loud as ever

just with a bit more excitement now bc! he’s gonna be a dad! he’s so excited

sometimes though on late nights where you two are up bc you aren’t feeling well

he’ll admit that he’s really scared of messing up along the way

and he worries about whether he’ll be a good father

but he’ll get back to feeling better and less anxious after you talk him down some

he may not be the best helper but! he’s trying his best and that’s all that is important okay

“i got pickles!” “wooyoung i hate pickles” “omg really? i read that pregnant people love pickles :((” “i’ll eat one pickle just for u”

“i’m getting the baby a dinosaur costume so we can set her loose in the dorm and watch her terrorize seonghwa” “wooyoung no”

jongho would try to contain how happy and excited he is

he doesn’t want to startle you with how thrilled he is but he’s over the moon

will probably just sit around and think about it all the time for weeks

10/10 would sit around and laugh and smile to himself while thinking about the baby

the others might call and be like “he’s doing the thing again” so you would have to call and ask him how he’s doing and stuff like that

the two of you could probably spend hours on the phone just talking about the baby

he would 10000% sing to you and the baby both

definitely get on his knees in front of you and sing to your stomach

just too much elation to be contained in his body 

best helper tho like jongho is good at everything and he will Prove it dammit

“i set up the cradle today and put it in the spare room for now, but i’ll move it into our room when the time comes”

“do you think the baby will recognize our voices by the time she’s born? will she recognize my singing?”

[mydekuacademia]

Can I get A-Z nsfw for kacchan?

Absolutely!

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

I feel like he can go one of two ways: hes either a big baby and just wants to hold you until you both fall asleep, or he does everything from running you a bath to making you some delicious food to massaging your sore muscles

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner)

His favorite parts of his own body are his shoulders and chest. Hes muscled af and is proud of it

On you, he is absolutely an ass man. He wont touch it in public unless he knows nobody can see, but in private? Hoo boy

C: Cum (Anything to do with cum)

He likes to cum on your ass, back, or face or in your mouth. And his pull-out game is immaculate, so count on getting cummed on

D: Dirty Secret

Hes thought about having a threeway with you and Kirishima. He decided against bringing it up and was grateful for that later on when he realized he didnt want to share

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not experienced at all. He never really saw sex as something he needed or even really wanted until you came along. That being said, he still knows what hes doing for the most part. Plus, hes observant as hell, so he'll learn soon enough

F: Favorite Position

As we've established, hes an ass man, so he prefers having you face away from him. If hes really pent up, he'll bend you over a counter. Otherwise, reverse cowgirl is his go-to

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Absolutely not. Hes not goofy in normal life, and that carries over to the bedroom

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He trims his pubes really short, but not shaved. He likes that he feels closer to you that way

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I mean, as intimate as Katsuki can be. He probably wont call you a dumbass, which translates to true love in Bakugou language. He does, however, take extra care to be gentle with you if hes feeling sad or sappy

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Another thing he didnt really have the desire to do until he was with you. Prior to dating you, he masturbated only when completely necessary. But now that he knows how good the release can feel, he does it maybe once a week or if hes really pissed and cant be with you

K: Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Katsuki. Is. Daddy. He loves when you call him daddy, or even sir. It gives him a huge power trip

Quirk usage - in place of spanking, he'll set off small explosions by your ass. Not enough to hurt you, just enough to get his point across and see your ass jiggle

Orgasm denial and edging. You can cum when he says you can, and he'll bring you right to the edge over and over until he decides youve had enough

Brat taming. Hoooo boy he loves when you act up so he can tame you

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Honestly, any place you wont get caught. Bedroom, kitchen at night, couch, etc. If its a quickie, he does not care about comfort, so literally any surface works. If it's proper sex, he prefers the bed or couch

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Mostly when you act bratty towards him and when you get a little too friendly with someone else (even just hugging them for what he deems to be too long)

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He will not share, even though he used to fantasize about it a bit. Youre his, dammit

He wont do anything that will actually hurt you or leave marks that last longer than a week or so

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Prefers receiving over giving, but still gives you oral sometimes. He just doesnt really know what to do and wont ask for help, so he only really does it if youve had a bad day or something

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Katsuki is 100% fast and rough. He'll slow down a bit if you ask nicely, but he prefers going at a damn near impossible pace

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He honestly loves quickies. He often doesnt have the patience to wait until you two have more time to go at it, so quickies are perfect. Of course, he loves being able to take his time, but hes not too picky

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Some stuff, hes more than willing to try. Different positions, bondage, sensory deprivation, etc. Other things he wont try unless you bed and/or give him something in return. So like, if you wanna try pegging, you're gonna have to beg for h o u r s and maybe blow him too

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He typically lasts 2 or 3 rounds max, but he can last a pretty decent amount of time, especially if hes teasing you. You best be ready for hours of edging if hes in the right mood

T: Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Nope. He wants to be the only one to make you feel good. The only thing he might have is a pair of handcuffs, but thats iffy

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Bakugo is so unfair. He will tease you mercilessly until youre shaking and crying and begging to cum. He, however, cannot handle teasing. He'll either get mad right away or end up begging within minutes

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He isnt really that loud. The most youll get from him are low grunts and groans. If he's really, really pent up, he might let out a whiny moan when he cums

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He didnt watch porn until being with you. He knew it existed, he just saw it as pointless and trashy. But now he watches it every once in a while if you arent around to help him out

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Hes a bit longer than average with an average girth. Being decently big was a big ego boost for him tbh. It curves slightly up and is uncut

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

A little lower than average tbh. Hes so focused on hero work and one-upping midoriya that sex doesnt really cross his mind that often

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He likes to hold you for a while afterward, so unless he goes all out with aftercare, he stays awake for about half an hour.