#and Chris is having one of his “I need to prove myself even if it means putting myself in danger�� moments

[littlecrittereli]

just one of those days man...

THIS IS SO LOW QUALITY HELP LOL

ignore that I can't draw very well rn I'm very focused on school so not much time to doodle

[worldlxvlys]

I HAVE A IDEA (MR CRABS I HAVE AN IDEA)

yk the new song ari came out with (we can't be friends) Chris fic were the reader and him are best friends that always flirt and they made out drunk at a party and have not been talking for a week untill Chris shows up at her house and they makeout and maybe some smut? Idrk

Anyways that's all 💋

we can’t be friends

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: angst, mentions of drinking/being drunk, smut, fingering, oral (fem receiving), squirting, cursing

a/n: i’ve been absolutely OBSESSED with this song and itching to write about ittt

i hope you enjoy

i let out a heavy sigh at his last text, before throwing my phone onto my bed.

of course i wanted to fight for us, but this was about more than just our friendship . this was about what was best for us individually.

for as long as i could remember, i always put chris’ feelings before my own. i spent so long chasing after him, just to end up heartbroken.

i watched him constantly pick other people over me, blissfully unaware of how deeply he was wounding me.

but no matter how much i wanted to, i couldn’t blame him. it was easier to point fingers at him than to accept the fact that this was partially my own fault.

i let him continue to hurt me, over and over again, never telling him what he was doing to me. and if i didn’t tell him, how would he know any better ?

so, even though it killed me to act so cold and distant toward him, it was time to look out for myself for once.

i needed to take the time to love and take care of myself before expecting someone else to do so.

sure, he’d be upset for a short while, but once he got over me he would easily move on to the next girl. that’s all i was to him, after all. just another girl.

i was pulled from my thoughts when i heard my front door open and close suddenly, followed by quick footsteps toward my room.

i waited behind my bedroom door, quick to swing my arm out in front of me when the person made it to the doorway.

i was met with chris, who immediately caught my wrist in his hand.

we stared at each other with wide eyes, neither one of us speaking. i blinked up at him, watching his eyes trail down to my lips.

“don’t do that” the words flew out of my mouth before i could stop them.

his eyes immediately shot back up to mine, a curious expression taking over his features.

“don’t do what?” he asked, loosening his grip on my wrist to let it slide down, intertwining our fingers.

“chris, we aren’t doing this. i meant what i said earlier, we’re better off not being friends”

“you keep saying that, but you won’t tell me why. you gotta talk to me baby” he spoke.

“i don’t want to” i spoke back, shaking my head as i backed up slightly to create more distance between us.

“how am i supposed to know what i did wrong if you don’t talk to me?”

he was right, of course he was. it was unfair of me to just cut him off with no reasoning. but the second we start talking about it is the second it becomes real. i didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that i was trying to end one of the most important friendships i’d ever had in my life.

“you didn’t do anything, chris” i answered. he wasn’t having it. “no, tell me. i’m not letting you just end our friendship like this, not without a reason”

“i just can’t be friends with you”

“why? what is so wrong with me that you don’t want me in your life? and completely out of nowhere” he spoke, his voice rising slightly.

“see, that’s the problem. i don’t want you out of my life, i want you in it forever. but you clearly don’t want that, and it’s ok.”

“who the hell said i didn’t want that?” chris asked, his brows furrowing.

“chris, it’s fine. you don’t have to try to make me feel better-”

“so you don’t believe me?” he cut me off.

“i mean, i don’t know, i just…” my babbling trailed off as i tried to find the right words.

“let me prove it to you” he whispered as he toyed with the strap of my tank top.

my breathing grew shallow as he moved the fabric down my arm slightly, pressing his lips to my shoulder.

“chris….we shouldn’t” i whispered, but tilted my head to the side, allowing him more access as his lips moved up my neck.

“really? you weren’t complaining a week ago” he spoke against my skin.

i slapped his chest lightly at that. “yeah, well we were also drunk”

he bit down on my neck, harshly enough to leave a bruise and elicit a moan from me. “so, you don’t want this?” he asked.

i let out a deep sigh, “of course i do, chris. but do you?”

he looked as though he was going to say something, but i stopped him “don’t tell me yes just because you want sex. i don’t want you to just want somebody, i want you to want me. if you’re just gonna fuck me and move onto the next girl, then forget it” i spoke.

the more i thought about it, the more i convinced myself that he didn’t really want me.

“hey” he spoke softly, cupping my jaw. “this isn’t about the sex, this isn’t even about me wanting you. this is about me needing you. this is about me not being able to live without you. yes, i’ve been with other girls. but there’s a reason that you’re the only one that’s always been there”

“i was so sure you didn’t feel the same, so i tried to move on. but i couldn’t, because none of those girls are you. and i’m so sorry that i hurt you, i’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if i have to”

chris looked at me as though he could cry. his blue eyes shot back and forth between my own, his thumb caressing my jaw gently.

“so make it up to me” i whispered, pulling his lips to my own.

one of his arms smoothly slid behind my back, supporting my weight as i found it hard to keep my balance.

he kissed me like he had waited his whole life for this moment. his lips felt so soft against mine, unlike our last kiss.

this kiss made our drunken one feel sloppy and desperate, like two people who were just horny, but this was more than that. it was eye-opening, sweet, gentle, it was everything i didn’t know i needed.

but chris did, he always knew what to say or do to make me happy. i couldn’t stay mad at him even if i wanted to.

“let me make you feel good?” he asked when we pulled away. “yeah” i let out breathlessly, nodding my head.

“lay down for me” he said, leaving another kiss to my neck. i did as he said, getting onto my bed and laying on my back.

he wasted no time in crawling over me, his hands placed on either side of my waist. “can i?” he asked, lightly tugging at the hem of my top.

i nodded at him, lifting my upper body up as he pulled off my top. without a word, he attached his lips to my nipple while caressing the other with his hand.

i let out a loud moan at the feeling, beginning to squirm underneath him.

“shit, chris” i sighed out, his eyes immediately looking up at mine.

he swirled his tongue around the hardened bud, watching as my body melted into his touch.

he sucked on my tit until the skin turned dark, moving to the other to give it the same treatment.

“god, chris. feels so good” i moaned out while he continued to work my sensitive nipple with his tongue.

“you look so pretty like this” he rasped as he soothed my boobs with his hands, “can’t believe i have you all to myself” he mumbled to himself.

he moved his face downwards, leaving gentle kisses to my rib cage and abdomen. he paid special attention to every birthmark and scar he found, pressing a kiss to each one.

his fingers rubbed small circles into my skin as he ventured further and further down my body.

he stopped at the waistband of my shorts, leaving a kiss to my crotch area. due to the thin material or the shorts and my lack of underwear, my hips shot up involuntarily at the feeling.

“no underwear? such a dirty fucking girl” he spoke, smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

he licked a long stripe up my pussy through the shorts, eliciting a long whine from me. “chris, stop teasing me” i spoke as i squirmed under him.

“you just make it so easy, baby” he spoke, before continuing to leave kisses down my thighs and calves.

“lift up” he spoke as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of my shorts. i raised my hips, allowing chris to pull them off.

i let out a sigh at the feeling of my heat being exposed to the cold air of the room.

chris stared down at my glistening pussy, mouth hung open slightly as he pulled my folds apart, spreading me open.

“my god, you’re so gorgeous” he spoke, blowing cool air onto my heat.

“hold your legs apart for me, beautiful” he spoke, his lips inches away from my core.

“so wet” he mumbled before running his tongue along my thighs, just missing where i needed him.

“chris, please. i need your mouth so fucking bad” i whined. “where, baby?” he asked, teasing me some more.

finally having enough, i wrapped my legs around his head, pulling his face into my heat.

he let out a long moan into me, his eyes rolling back as he licked up every drop of my slick.

my head fell back at the feeling, legs loosening around him to let him pull back if needed, however he stayed right where he was.

the words that fell out of my mouth sounded like gibberish, but i didn’t care about that. all i could focus on was chris.

the way he groaned into me, his needy tongue lapping me up like i was his last meal. his piercing eyes never left mine, only making the tight feeling in my stomach grow.

my arousal covered his flushed cheeks, making me even wetter.

there was something that i found so incredibly hot about how messily he was eating me out. it was like all he cared about was me finishing.

he moved his face from my legs, making me let out a whine at the loss of contact.

he stuck his tongue out, his spit dripping down onto my pussy.

“what do you think about when you touch yourself? ” he asked suddenly while he brought his finger down to my core to rub me.

“i- oh” i cried out in surprise at the feeling of his finger entering me.

“holy fuck, you’re so tight” he whispered as he pushed his pointer finger in and out of my tight walls.

“oh my god” i whimpered when he pushed another finger in.

“if you don’t answer me, i’m stopping” he spoke.

“this! i think about this!” i rushed out, eyes screwing shut at the feeling of his rough fingers inside of me.

“i think about how perfect your hands are. fuck- how long your fingers are” i struggled out between moans, “i think about you” i finished.

“yeah? what about my cock?” he asked as his fingers sped up.

“you think about what it would feel like for me to fuck you into oblivion? ” he asked as he curled his fingers, hitting my g-spot.

“fuck, yes! i’m so close chris” i cried out as he continued to plunge his fingers in and out of me.

“c’mon, you got it. doing so well for me, want you to make a mess all over me” he rasped out, fingers moving rapidly inside of me.

“chris, wait! i’m gonna-” i tried to warn him, but i was too far gone as my juices shot out of me.

the liquid dripped down his face, onto the saturated sheets underneath us.

“yes, yes, fuck yes” chris groaned as his mouth hung open. i leaned up slightly, watching the way his hips stuttered and his body shook.

“fuck” he let out breathlessly, as he began to shudder.

“did you just come untouched?” i asked, eyes widening slightly.

“if that doesn’t prove how much i want you, nothing will”

wait why’d i kinda eat ??? 🤭

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nicksmainbitch @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[iamonlyperson]

THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER

YouTuber Markiplier Got Passes From Everyone in Hollywood — So, He Made a Hit His Way

Podcast adaptation 'The Edge of Sleep' from New Regency spent the weekend on Amazon Prime Video's most watched TV chart, but, as the YouTuber and team reveals, it didn't get there through traditional channels.

In 2019, 'The Edge of Sleep', the latest offering from Mark Fischbach, known to his 37 million YouTube subscribers as Markiplier, was pitched to every major platform in Hollywood.

By then, 'The Edge of Sleep' was already a popular podcast. In fact, it quickly became the biggest genre narrative podcast of all time, with some 6 million downloads and counting. And for the television adaptation, Markiplier would be reprising his role as a night watchman, who attempts to survive a mysterious global crisis where anyone who goes to sleep dies. The podcast’s creators, Jake Emanuel and Willie Block, were on board to write and run the TV version, and Longlegs producer Brian Kavanaugh Jones was attached to produce. There would be six episodes, made on a relative shoestring budget, served up to a rapt audience that Markiplier has cultivated for more than a decade with a channel primarily focused on Let’s Play videos.

Curtis, who’s represented Markiplier for eight years, wasn’t particularly surprised by the deluge of nos. As he tells it, Hollywood has never been willing to take his client seriously. The feedback? “Oh, the YouTuber? No, thanks.’ Just totally dismissive,” he says via Zoom, insisting the entire reason that they did 'The Edge of Sleep' as a QCODE-produced podcast first was because they wanted something to be able to show skittish buyers when they ultimately shopped the TV adaptation. It was also the reason that Curtis, whose client roster over the years has included Rami Malek and Veep‘s Timothy Simons, urged Markiplier to do his second podcast, Distractible, an unscripted offering featuring him and a few buddies.

“I went to Mark three years ago and I said, ‘Hey, look, I’m not getting a lot of love and respect for you in the market, you should do a podcast because I know you can build one of the biggest podcasts in the world. And at that point, I think traditional Hollywood will say, “Oh wow, you just knocked out Joe Rogan from No. 1 on Spotify. Let’s pay attention,”’” says Curtis. “And then he did that, and people still didn’t care. It’s been seven years now of trying to get traditional Hollywood to pay attention.” (For the record, Spotify did, allegedly inking an eight-figure dealfor him to host video episodes of Distractible and other podcasts.)

Markiplier is considerably more diplomatic. “I’m trying to show people [in Hollywood] that there is a different way, but at the same time, I do understand the mistrust of some creators,” he tells THR, acknowledging it was daunting to leap from his own videos to large-scale productions, with crews in the hundreds, even for him, who had scaled up gradually. “A YouTuber going into that is used to doing everything themself, so to learn to both collaborate with others and to let go a little and trust those who are experts in their department, it’s tough — especially when you have a distributor or some production company overseeing it or paying for it who wants to have input. It’s hard, and YouTubers can be very egotistical.” (Though he was simply an actor-for-hire and not a creative engine on Edge of Sleep, Markiplier still managed to butt heads with his producers, including the time he insisted upon licensing and editing in a different opening theme song, which he ultimately did with his own money.)

Most in Markiplier’s situation would have cut their losses and moved on. He hardly needs Hollywood, after all. But he didn’t generate nearly 17 billion video views by doing what others would do. “And I have a desire to prove myself and prove that I can play at other people’s games just as well as they can,” he says. So, he and the team, which also includes Oddfellows’ Chris Ferguson and director Corey Adams, among others, decided to forgo the traditional route. Markiplier agreed to put up a portion of the financing, and figure out a distribution strategy later. On Kavanaugh Jones’ recommendation, New Regency was recruited to come aboard as the studio and foot the remainder of the bill.

So, with COVID-19 still raging, the cast and crew decamped to Vancouver in the summer of 2021. The shoot lasted 25 days across 35 different locations, a triumph given the protocols in place at the time. According to New Regency’s chairman and CEO Yariv Milchan, it was a bet worth taking. “New Regency has a history of recognizing potential where others haven’t. Projects like The Revenant and Bohemian Rhapsody had been overlooked for years, yet we saw their value and brought them to life,” he says via email, adding: “With The Edge of Sleep, we saw a different potential in the unique combination of the largely untapped creativity from Markiplier and his dedicated fanbase, along with the success of the original QCODE podcast. We were inspired by the challenge to create, together with Markiplier and QCODE, a series at the right budget while embracing innovative marketing approaches.” (Though everybody’s staying mum on said budget, it’s said to be a small fraction of a typical prestige drama.)

In 2023, with a nearly completed series, they took it out once more. This time, they did so with the first episode available for potential buyers to preview. Again, they were greeted with a succession of passes. Curtis, who’s also an executive producer on the project, isn’t even sure they bothered to open the link and sample it. “It was the same thing, ‘No.’ ‘No.’ ‘No.’ And that’s the point at which 99.9 percent of Hollywood quits, it’s over,” he says. “But we knew, with Mark, you have this special ingredient that people truly undervalue — and he’s a complete genius in marketing to his fans.” 

He was confident that Markiplier could and would activate his audience. After all, he’d seen him do it many times before. A few years back, for instance, Markiplier had a YouTube channel called Unus Annus (“One Year” in Latin), where he posted a new video every day for a year, culminating in a 12-hour live stream on day 365 that ended with him deleting the entire channel. At one point, Curtis says there were 1.3 million concurrent viewers watching; and, in 24 hours, he says Markiplier managed to sell $19 million of merchandise. “And that was something that we couldn’t pay people to write about or talk about. No one cared,” says Curtis, who acknowledges he has a chip on his shoulder on his client’s behalf. “I mean, there’s less than 50 people in the entire world who could do that. We’re talking, like, Taylor Swift, Kardashian type stuff.”

Last month, Hollywood finally got its taste for Markiplier’s power. Over on YouTube, his platform of choice, he released a video announcing that Edge of Sleep would be coming out in a matter of weeks. That video, which didn’t even tell people where they could watch the series, racked up 3.5 million views. Then, on Oct. 18, the full season dropped on Amazon Prime Video via the Prime Video Direct content submission portal — or, technically, it was uploaded a few days before, for quality control. Almost instantly, and without any real promotion, it had broken into the Prime Video’s Top 10, where it remained, hovering around No. 6 or 7 through the weekend.

By Friday, a trailer dropped on both QCODE and New Regency’s social media, and Prime Video posted a clip on its social channels. A paid media buy launched that day, too. Later that evening, Markiplier called an “Emergency Meeting” of his fans, which turned into him hosting a three-hour livestream, during which he urged everyone to tune in and rate the series, as his goal now is to stay on the Top 10 TV chart for 30 days. In success, there will be a second season, and ideally distribution outside the U.S. According to the Amazon site, Content providers to Prime Video Direct receive 50 percent of net revenue for titles that are available to buy or rent. By Sunday, 1.2 million had checked out the livestream video just to hear him field questions about the making of the series, his first foray into scripted and dramatic TV. (He talked, too, about Iron Lung, a bloody film that he acts in and directs, for which he’s currently seeking a theatrical distributor.)

The irony of its success over on Prime Video, one of many platforms that passed on Edge of Sleep when it came through the traditional channels, is not lost on Markiplier or his rep. “We definitely want to break glass,” Curtis says. “We want people to pay attention to the fact that this guy who was told no over and over again is so powerful that he can launch a TV show to great success on his own.”

[riririnnnn]

What goes up, must come down.

Ever since he was first introduced, he had this aura around him that seemed too powerful—something unachievable. Someone so high above can only fall down with a crash, you know.

Time to time, I find myself thinking about the panel where Chris provoked Kaiser by calling him weak. Kaiser's immediate defensiveness felt odd to me—I just can't wrap my head around the fact that Kaiser was so riled up so quickly.

You might argue that if someone were irritate you, then, obviously, you are bound to be irritated, but Kaiser just seems like a person who doesn't loses his cool too easily. I mean, we all have met this annoyingly playful person in our life who just teases and teases, and when we show any kind of anger, they find it amusing—they feed their ego with our resentment. Kaiser fits in this kind of people's category a bit too well.

That's why it felt so odd to me that Chris managed to irritate Kaiser by simply calling him a coward/weak and I can only think of two reasons for that:

It's Kaiser's insecurity.

Somebody or somebod-ies have already provoked Kaiser about being a coward or a weak person to the point it has become his trigger.

And things can only be clear when his backstory is revealed.

I just can't understand him, no matter how much I try to. He just feels so unfathomable when in reality, his character seems too entangled with.. weakness:

Even his most striking feature is connected to weakness:

One more thing that I find odd is that Isagi has always said along the lines of, "I need to surpass/devour Kaiser. I need to win," but Kaiser is the only one who has said something like, "I'm inferior to Yoichi."

I don't understand what is he even trying to prove at this point—does he wants to win against Isagi or does he just wants to prove that he isn't a weakling?

O Emperor, you are flying too close to sun.

[strniohoeee]

I need and angry love confession from Matt to Reader !! super angst but ends in fluff

I can’t

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: You moved on and now you’re soon to be engaged, but Matt knows this isn’t right. Desperate to get you to change your mind he races over to you. But will he get there in time?

Warning⚠️: NONE, I lovedddd writing this ughhh😩😩got me all in my feels and shit😔

Song for the imagine: Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol

I don’t quite know

How to say

How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They’re not enough

I’m not sure how to explain it and I’m not sure that I’d ever be able to. I never planned to see myself with anyone else other than Matt, but here I was sitting in my makeup room with a dazzling diamond promise ring sitting on my ring finger.

It felt right? I mean I wasn’t sure how to feel actually. A million questions ran through my head and they all tied to Matt for some reason.

I left Matt a little over a year ago after being with him for two years. I felt like I treated him wrong, I felt like I held him back from what he wanted…..

Flashback

“What are you saying?” Matt asked me as he stood up from the couch

“ I’m breaking up with you Matt” I replied looking at him

His face dropped and he swallowed thickly

“You’re what?” He replied blinking fastly

“I’m holding you back Matt and I haven’t been the best girlfriend. I can not live with myself knowing that there’s someone out there better for you” I replied swallowing back a sob

“I don’t want no one else, I want you. Why can’t you see that? You always tear down the perfect things around you.” He said rubbing his face with his hand

“I’m not happy because I’m not making you happy” I replied

“You don’t get to tell me how I feel. I love you and I love us and sure we have our problems, but I can’t imagine a life without you” he said slapping his hand down on his leg

“That’s the issue, all these problems are because of me. Matt you have to let me go” I said shaking my head

“I can’t! I can’t let you go” he replied rushing up to me and grabbing my hands

“This hurts me too, but I don’t think we’re for each other anymore” I said letting a few tears slip

“No….please don’t do this to me” he said in a whisper

“I love you, but I can’t keep holding you down. I’m sorry” I told him

“You’re not! Please just stay and relax and we can talk this out” he said looking into my eyes and gripping my hands firmer

“Matthew….no this is over” I replied sliding my hands from his and walking back

“Please don’t leave me” he pleaded with tears in his eyes

“I have to” I replied and with that I walked out

Flashback Over

For a while my thoughts were clouded with many doubts. Wondering if I made the wrong decision. But as soon as we broke up Matt and his brother's careers took off even more. Further proving it was me who needed to go.

But sitting here right now with this ring on my finger my brain told me that Matt and I were completely over. Nothing more than mere memory, a glimpse into a great time in my life, but it was over.

I loved my boyfriend more than words could explain and this ring finalized that it was him who I would spend the rest of my life with.

Him and I had posted our pre engagement on Instagram explaining that this was a small step in me eventually becoming his wife. It was a bittersweet moment because this was a new chapter in my life and I had to look forward. However for some reason I was constantly looking back….

Matt's POV

I laid in my bed journaling when my phone started to ring. I looked down and saw it Chris calling me

“Yo?” I said as I placed the phone to my ear

“Did you see it?” He asked me

“See what? Chris what the fuck are you talking about?” I asked furrowing my brows and shutting my book

“Y/N…” he said and paused

“Is she okay?” I asked suddenly sitting up

“Yeah she’s fine, but she’s pretty much engaged” Chris said in a whisper

“What?” I replied

My heart dropped to my stomach as my throat ran dry.

“Yeah they posted it on Instagram. I’m sorry bro” he said clearing his throat

I didn’t even reply, I just hung up on him. Opening instagram I searched up her page and I let out a small gasp and the picture…..reading the caption made my skin crawl

I grabbed my keys and rushed out the house. Running out to my car in the rain. My mind raced as I hit the gas. Doing 80 in the rain as my breathing became erratic and my fist tightened on the grip

Y/N pov

I walked out of my makeup room and walked out to my living room. Peering outside I saw that it was raining. My heart burst with excitement.

I decided to sit in my glass lanai and watch the rain hit the roof. Smiling at how happy I was becoming and how content I felt in life right now.

I stood by one of the windows writing my name in the fog that crackled along the glass. Suddenly I heard the door open and a creak of someone’s foot stepping down

“Hey babe” I replied before turning around

My heart dropped when a soaking wet, crying and shivering Matt stood in front of me.

“Matt?” I said blinking quickly

“Don’t do this” he said shaking

“Matt you’re wet and cold” I said walking up to him

“DON’T” he said sternly causing me to look up at him and stepping back

“How did you even get in here” I said sternly

“Your hiding spot for the key hasn’t changed” he said bluntly

“Why are you here?” I said scoffing

“So that’s it? You’re just going to marry him” he replied

“You’re talking crazy Matt what’s going on” I said getting concerned

“I waited…. I waited for you praying you’d come back. Having to go through days of being so unhappy and angry, and for what? For you to spend all this time and energy on someone new and get married? What was I? What was I huh?” He said choking out a sob as his voice cracked

“I loved you and I had the best time with you, but it wasn’t going to work and with Y/BF/N it worked” I said swallowing thickly

“You gave up! You gave up on us… that could’ve been us but you chose to run” he said breathing heavily

“I didn’t give up, I did it for you! Can’t you see that?” I said pleading

“I can’t” he said

“Let’s go inside you’re shivering” I replied pointing to the door

“NO” he replied choking out another sob

“Matt, what do you want me to do?” I said getting teary eyed

“I want you to be honest with yourself” he replied

“I don’t understand what you’re getting at” I replied throwing my hands up

“Goddamnit Y/N! I love you! I have loved you. I let you into my life in a way I never did with anyone else. I loved you to the point of distraction, and you dropped me like I was nothing. I can not pretend that didn’t happen” he said loudly

“You love me?” I replied shocked by this

“Hasn’t it always been obvious? I begged you not to leave me and you did. And now you’re basically engaged to this guy, so like I said be honest with yourself” he said pointing at me

“Honest about what?” I replied raising my voice

“Your feelings” he said bluntly

“My feelings? The fact that I’m in love with my new boyfriend and we’re going to get married eventually?” I replied talking with my hands

“That’s bullshit” he said bluntly

“No it’s not matt” I replied back

“Yes it is” he said pushing back

“No it isn’t” I said sternly

“Just admit” he said pushing even harder now

“ADMIT WHAT?” I yelled at him throwing my hands up

“You know what…it’s creeping in the back of your mind consuming all your thoughts” he said breathing through his nose heavily

“I can’t” I said shaking my head

“You can’t or you won’t” he replied

“Jesus Matt! What do you want me to admit? Admit that I’m madly in love with you? Admit that the thought of marrying my boyfriend scares me. Scares me because it’s supposed to be you. Is that what you want to hear” I said yelling

“Was it that hard” he replied

“What have you done” I said looking at him wide eyed

“This wasn’t me….this was you” he replied

I stomped over to him pushing him back repeatedly

“Who do you think you are? Huh? You think you can just come back into my life and push all these things on me. How could you Matt” I said smacking at his chest in anger

“Stop it! STOP IT” he said grabbing my arms firmly

“LET ME GO” I yelled pulling against him but he was much stronger than me

Pulling against him as we were both breathing heavily. I stopped and stared at him letting air come out my nose as my chest rose and fell rapidly.

“Why?” I whispered tears brimming in my eyes

“WHY HUH? WHY?” I yelled against him pulling at my arms

Yet he didn’t say anything. Instead he let me freak out, watching me intently as his eyes were glazed over with tears threatening to spill out.

“Stop fighting it” he said in a whisper

“This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! I was supposed to forget about you. I was supposed to move on. You were supposed to move on” I said slowing my breathing down

“I never wanted to move on, and I never will” he replied back

“I have always loved you from the moment I bumped into you on that street to the day you walked out of my life. I prayed day in and day out you’d come back and you didn’t” he said letting go of my arms

“Matt I can’t do this, not to you, not to me and especially not to Y/BF/N” I replied wiping my eyes

“So then don’t marry him” he said pleading with me

“Matt I can’t do that” I replied shaking my head

“He’s not meant for you and I’d like to believe….I’d have to believe that if you knew that…. I mean really really knew that deep in your heart. You wouldn’t be getting ready to marry someone unless that someone….unless that someone was me” he said swallowing thickly and letting a few tears fall

I stared at him shocked before opening my mouth to speak

“Matt I’m not going to lie to you, yeah I have felt things since breaking up with you that I didn’t know or think I knew I could feel, but I have realized you can’t just turn back the hands of time” I replied running my hands through my hair

“Why not?” He said in a whisper

“Because I moved on….you were supposed to move on. We’ve gone down different paths. We made choices and I….I chose Y/BF/N” I said wiping my eyes

Matt licked his lips and jutted his pointed tongue to the inside of his mouth. Letting a choked sob fall from his mouth.

“Can’t you see? Even after letting you go and trying to do what’s best for you, I still am somehow hurting you. Please don’t cry” I said pacing a bit

“I’ll be fine… I promise” he said rolling his eyes letting the tears go back

“I love you Matt” I said walking up to him and grabbing his shoulders

“No you don’t, if you did you’d be with me” he said scoffing and shrugging my hands off

“It doesn’t work that way” I said shaking my head

“Doesn’t work that way? I just professed my love to you as you did the same, but still you’re going to marry someone else?” He replied getting upset again

“That’s not fair” I said blinking at him

“Whatever…I’ve wasted my time clearly” he said throwing his hands up

He began to walk back into my house. I trailed close behind him calling out his name.

“Matthew please” I said running a bit faster

I got in front of him, grabbing his upper arms and stopping him. Looking into his eyes searching for something. Searching for an answer to this complicated puzzle.

My breathing became rapid as I searched for the words to say. Matt got clearly impatient as his jaw was clenched and his glare was intense. My eyes darted from one eye to the other.

I let go of him blinking and swallowing thickly before opening my mouth.

“Matt I love you a lot, and that never went away. I never wanted to hurt you, but rather I wanted you to get stronger. I was holding you down and that you can not deny. I have realized that the way I went about it was wrong and I hurt you, but I also hurt myself. I truly wanted to heal myself and not look back, but everyday all I could think about was you. Yes Y/BF/N is amazing and a great guy but I just…..I just…..” my words began to scramble because I wasn’t sure how to say this next statement

“But you don’t love him” he said in a whisper

My eyes slowly lifted from the floor to meet his once again, nodding at his answer

“I don’t love him” I said swallowing thickly

“If I’m reading into this wrong then I’m sorry” he said and before I could react he suddenly lunged toward me

Smashing his lips into mine, his right hand finding its spot on my left cheek. His thumb gently rubbed the warm skin as our lips locked.

My mind was fuzzy with what was going on, but all I knew was that this felt so right. Like the stars aligning perfectly. What I was so unsure of with my current boyfriend I was 100% sure of with Matt.

When he pulled away we locked eyes, catching our breath as we smiled gently

“I’m so sorry for leaving you” I said in a whisper

“Just promise to never do it again” he said

“I promise” I said smiling at him

Matt grabbed the back of my head, pulling me into a hug before placing a kiss to my forehead.

Breaking things off with Y/BF/N wasn’t easy. I truly had some love for him, but not in the way I did for Matt. Matt was my soulmate and I was so dumb to turn a blind eye to it.

I made him understand that this wasn’t because of him, but because I wasn’t ever truly sure that we were meant for each other. And that the promise ring made it all a bit too real. In the sense that I could not see myself with him forever.

Matt and I took things slow, we reestablished a connection starting off as friends first was what we wanted. We didn’t want to see each other hurt ever again.

I can’t live with the idea of ever hurting him again… I just…

I can’t.

The End

I hope yall loved this one, it was giving very early 2000s love confession in the rain. I’m here for itttt, but we’re almost at 1,800 followers OH YEAHHH i love yall🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[freneticfloetry]

favorite fandom things

I still can’t believe our little weewoo show is ending. This is a bittersweet one, but it totally tracks with the vibes this fandom has nurtured here, full of feels and squee and passing those things on. Thanks to @thisbuildinghasfeelings for starting this one, and @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @nisbanisba @carlossreaders @bonheur-cafe @tellmegoodbye and @heartstringsduet for tagging me.

These are a few of my favorite things about being part of the Tarlos/Lone Star fandom.

All the Words I’ve been a Lone Star viewer since the very beginning — as a 9-1-1 viewer, a spinoff with Liv Tyler and firefighting Chris Traeger proved too great a pull to resist. And for years, It was one of those happy place shows — things like The Good Place, Ted Lasso, Schitt’s Creek — that I thought I’d just enjoy watching every week, without any real need or desire to write it. After all, the cast was diverse (but not for diversity’s sake), the stories were compelling, and my ship had been canon since day one. Then the Season of Carlos got underway, and the bunnies began to breed. It had been awhile since I really wrote anything — my previous show did my ship and fave characters so dirty that I couldn’t get far enough removed from my hurt and anger to actually get words out. But I saw the preview for 4x04, it planted an idea that wouldn’t leave me alone, and before the night was over I’d written the first two thousands words of to build a home (not the first scene, by any means, but the muse does what she wants). There have been so, so many more words since, both published and not yet revealed, and somewhere in there my brain started to spawn bunnies for another fandom I picked up in 2020 and never thought I would write. I love Lone Star for a lot of reasons, but here at the end, the very biggest is the fact that it gave writing back to me.

All the Fic When I say my old show fucked with my head, I mean it — it even stopped me reading fic for a long time. Which is a shame. That fandom, though small, had such a high concentration of ridiculously talented people, some of whom I’m lucky enough to still call close friends today. It spoiled me, and I think it even kept me from venturing into reading in other fandoms for fear of not finding fic at that level. Imagine my surprise when I started reading Tarlos, and found myself immersed in another sea of gifted writers. I am continually blown away by the creativity and care in this fandom. Especially on the heels of my last one, which was a genre show with actual magic and batshit storytelling and seemingly limitless possibilities — the fact that I’m no less entertained by or invested in or consistently in awe of the things Tarlos writers are able to do with these characters, overwhelmingly within the bounds and confines of a real-world procedural, is kind of amazing. (Shoutout to CIG’s beautiful Fire Island, which was the very first thing I ever read.)

All the Enthusiasm I’m going to keep this one short, lest I get overly emotional. But I wasn’t sure, when I first started posting, how my particular point of view would be received — starting out of the gate with something deep in Carlos’ head, exploring parts of his childhood and culture that I desperately wanted to see on the show. The reception that to build a home got still shocks me, to be honest, and I’m grateful for every comment and kudo and kind word. Now everyone go read What Is Sown, What Is Grown, which is a goddamn masterpiece.

All the Tag Games! Not gonna lie, there have been weeks with so many tag games that I wondered how any of y’all actually manage to write. But it’s so much fun to read everyone’s snippets every week, to look at your inspiration images and listen to your Music Monday choices and just take a beat to collectively celebrate this shared obsession with our blorbos. I’ve been writing fic for twenty years (yes, I’m a fandom old, or what the internet has deemed a “geriatric Millennial”), and I’ve seen my share of drama and wank and mean girl vendettas and fandoms soured by BNF culture. And it’s so refreshing to have seen so little of that here. I remember my early days of Tarlos posting, and the way Lola and Rae and a few other people took me under their tag wings and never looked back. And that’s still happening, with so many new authors who emerge — the list of people being tagged and tagging in return just keeps growing. Yes, there’s discourse, and there’s disagreement, and things can get a bit heated. But overall, this is such a great space to inhabit, and you guys have made it that way. If you don’t believe me, look no further than this accidental Tumblr storm about vaguenotion’s You Keep Coming Back with a Bird in Your Teeth, which remains one of my favorite examples of the way this fandom happily opens its arms and offers new folks punch and pie.

A very honorable mention goes to Lone Star being the thing that gave @ambiguouspenny and I a shared fandom again (and so letting them grace the world with more of their art).

I am late as hell, it’s almost tomorrow. So, open tag! (But also @liminalmemories21 @never-blooms @carlos-in-glasses @paperstorm @herefortarlos @lemonlyman-dotcom @walkinginland @reasonandfaithinharmony I’m looking at you.)

[vickytaa]

Going to this party was a mistake. I knew it, but I didn't want to admit it.

Seeing Chris so happy and so... relaxed after everything that's happened between the two of us, oh my god, it hurt.

How could he be so... calm?

I haven't been able to have even a minute of rest where I didn't torture myself for ruining "ours."

But I was lying to myself. There was no us, there was no “ours.” It was just my imagination, my foolish heart falling in love with the forbidden.

Chris had warned me about this, because he always knew what would happen, he knew me. But why did I just get carried away by the moment? Why didn't I stop when it started to hurt?

It's like I'm twisting the knife inside myself all the time.

My heart had already stopped the moment Chris got up from our my bed, saying that we should never have done this.

My eyes were once again filled with tears of pain. Crystal tears. The words that came out of his mouth, the moments when I innocently thought there was something between us, everything we went through together, were running through my mind. Rather, they lived there.

But to see him like this? Laughing and having fun with his friends as if he hadn't broken someone's heart a few days ago?

I thought it meant something to him, that there was something more than just fucking. But no. There never was. And there never will be.

And I should have understood that, but I couldn't really wrap my head around it. That's the problem.

I am the problem.

Unable to take my attention off of him, his eyes met mine, and for a second I thought he could see beyond my red, watery eyes, beyond the words I once said, beyond everything. He could see me.

But it didn't matter anymore, because he already knew everything about me. There was nothing more to know.

I walked through the sweaty bodies of people, trying to find a way out of this horrible place. Trying to find a way out of this pain.

The cold air froze my thoughts, this was my way out. My accelerated breathing slowly returned to its normal rhythm.

The tears slowly came out. The pain in my chest was getting stronger than last night.

"Y/n..." A familiar voice stopped time.

Chris grabbed my arms and turned me around to face him. It broke him into a thousand pieces to see me like this, knowing that he was the reason for all of this.

"I just... I just don't understand, Chris! I can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone." My sobs added to the broken feeling in my voice.

"I guess you never meant what you said that night." My mind went back to the moment when Chris said that I was very important to him, that he could never hurt me. Never.

Chris stretched out his arms trying to hug me to calm my crying, while I pushed him with the last of my strength, trying to get away from him.

"No! Don't take me with you anymore!" I tried to act strong by pushing him away, only proving that I wasn't.

Chris could have done whatever he wanted with me, but he just stood there. He wouldn't leave no matter how much I begged him to leave. Because he and I both knew it wasn't true.

"I hate you because... even though you're killing me, I need you... I need you like the air I breathe." The words were out of my mouth before I could process them.

I couldn't think what I was saying, my mind was so damaged.

"Shh" Chris tried to silence me, knowing this is hurting us both.

Moving away wasn't the easiest decision, but it was the best one for both of us. Or so Chris thought.

"I need you, Chris." My voice was getting quieter and quieter, even though I was trying to scream with all my might.

Chris's eyes matched mine, filled with tears, releasing the pain he once felt but never wanted to show.

My cheek was pressed tightly against Chris's chest. His arms were wrapped around me as best they could, trying to keep me close, thinking, knowing that if he let go I would run away, just like he did.

My mouth released, as low as a sigh, my last prayer before breaking, "You- I... I need you"

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️⛅️

51 for ⚡️:

---

And that’s… Well that’s expensive. They have a mortgage. They have bills. It’s not all as simple as what he wants. 

“I haven’t really been able to get it out of my brain for the last few days,” Eddie admits. “And the more I think about it, the more I want to do it.”

“Okay,” Buck nods. “We can do the math on the money, and figure out how it’d work.”

“Thank you,” Eddie says. “I… Yes. I’d like that.”

“But,” Buck says, and Eddie goes a little rigid. “This isn’t, like, a guilt thing? Is it?”

“A guilt thing,” Eddie echoes. 

“Yeah,” Buck says. “I don’t want you to feel like you have anything to prove.”

It’s a good callout. Eddie can admit that. But honestly? That’s not what this is.

“I know,” Eddie says. “I… I just don’t want to miss more than I have to. I guess. Obviously that’s… In relation to some of the guilt I have from last time. But, mostly it’s just… Something I feel I need to do, for myself?”

Buck nods slowly, processing.

“Okay,” he eventually says. “As long as you know you can come back sooner, if you feel isolated or whatever.” 

“Yeah,” Eddie says. “I know.”

It’s not the same as last time. That had been about death. Death and guilt and fear. This is about life. His daughter’s. Making the most of that. Because he does know how precious time is, this time around. He hadn’t had that perspective the first time around. Not until he was bleeding out in the sand. And with this job? Who knows how much time he does have? He’d like to hope for lots of it. To see his kids grow up happy and healthy pursuing their dreams. But he can’t know.

“We’ll make something happen,” Buck promises. “As long as you don’t, like, make her love you most in that extra time? I’d be pretty mad.”

---

51 for ⛅️:

---

Eddie just isn’t sure how that could be possible.

How could he really deserve all of this? Father Brian had said that he does. He just needs to earn it. Is this what the life of someone who earned it looks like? Is this all some sort of divine message to show him what’s possible? 

After Nico goes to bed, Chris retires to his room to do some school work before going to sleep. Buck showers. Eddie takes that time to learn more about his life. His maybe someday life. And, of all the things he finds himself most curious about, after his conversation with Christopher, he finds himself most curious about Buck. So he does something that maybe he shouldn’t. 

He looks through his phone’s photos.

Now by itself, this seems pretty miniscule. They’re his future photos. He has a right to them. And yet, he feels like he’s invading his future self - and especially Buck’s future self’s - privacy. 

The iPhone photo interface is a little different. And, more than ever in the past, his pictures have been sorted into albums. A good person might take the time to go through the album titled Nico. Or even the album titled Chris. But he knows how he feels about this timeline’s version of Christopher. He’s thrilled about Christopher. And he can only presume he must love Nico just the same. Of course he does, that’s a pretty loveable kid. 

The only person who Eddie is confused about is Buck. Is Chris right? Is Eddie just burying some deep, repressed homoeroticism? Is he gay? Is he in love with Buck? If he is gay, loving Buck makes a lot of sense. He’s kind. He’s generous. He’s funny. He’s devoted to Eddie and Chris. He wants all the same things Eddie does. He’s beautiful.

Wait.

Wait, that’s a strange thought. 

He’s handsome. Very clearly good looking. That’s what Eddie should have thought. Or… Or it’s what he would have thought if no part of him was considering what Chris said to be true. Oh fuck.

So anyway, Eddie spends his time looking at two albums. One simply labelled Buck. The other ominously labelled 🎁😉.  Eddie thinks he can guess what that means, but he still does not start there. Too scary. Too… Well, probably too revealing. 

The first album are just photos of Eddie and Buck and Buck by himself. All the photos Eddie knows he’d take of Buck and the kids are probably in the kids’ albums. 

[jethought-s]

Eddie Diaz, my love, you are wonderful and I will always defend you by all means.

I really think I have reached my limit. Leaving aside the fact that before Buck kissed the rat the 911 fandom was a paradise while now thanks to them it is practically a hell, I’d have no problem if they stayed in their hole to support Buck's relationship with a homophobic, racist, xenophobic rat and the thousand other virtues that distinguish him but no, from the height of their bad taste they allow themselves not only to insult the ship but even think they have the right to be able to question Eddie not only as a character but even as a father! So, welcome to my defense/declaration of love to Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz (I know that the episode is only an hour away, that some people have already seen it because it was uploaded to some platform, and that it is a very long post, but if you love Eddie Diaz like I do, please read it and let me know what you think. I have to share my immense love for him with someone)

If I were to launch myself into the experience of describing and analyzing everything we know about Eddie I would end up rewriting the entire Divine Comedy so let's focus on today's “problem,” which is the one that, for some, Eddie is a selfish character and a bad father. This honestly makes me laugh a lot, because the people who support this theory came out after the sneak peek that instead is absolute proof of the wonderful father that Eddie is and his growth as a character.

“Eddie called Buck, but what does he have to do with his mess?” “He cannot be so selfish as to hope that Buck will solve his problems.” “His problems are not Buck's problems”.

So, first of all, do you even know the other member of the ship you support? OF COURSE BUCK WOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE TO RUN TO EDDIE AND CHRIS. Second, what kind of miserable, affectless life do you have to even think such a thing? Taking the ship out of the picture, taking the romantic side out and keeping only the friendship, if one of your friends, someone toward whom you feel sincere affection has a problem, it’s normal that that becomes partly your problem as well. It’s love, because friendship is also love. And here we're not talking about a problem with the car engine, we're talking about a problem that Buck himself was already concerned about and that involves not only Eddie, but also his son. The son whom Buck loves so much that he fights for him as no one else would, and of whom he does in fact have legal custody should the reading of the will take place. That's why Eddie named Buck, and that already shows a great evolution in him, the fact that he recognizes that he has a problem, that he doesn't know how to handle it, that he needs help, and he doesn't shut himself off and somatize all these anxieties and fears but seek help.

Those who have suffered with their mental health know perfectly well how big this step is toward the right direction. In the healing process one has to come face to face with the problem and he has done that, unfortunately, however, not entirely because of him, Christopher has been involved. AND HERE WE GET TO THE POINT OF WHAT A WONDERFUL FATHER EDDIE DIAZ IS.

Contrary to what the same psychopaths claim, Eddie is fully aware that he screwed up, but, being a good father, he called Buck. Why? Because he knows his son so well that he knows, no matter how much it kills him, that there is nothing he can do to fix it at the moment and that the only one who can approach Chris in such a delicate situation if he cannot, is only Buck. The sneak peek scene clearly shows how Chris is at the center of his world, is literally his heart, so much so that he is willing to step aside for his sake.

Eddie is not asking Buck to solve the problem (Buck's response about how he doesn't think he is able to explain what is going on proving that he still doesn't totally realize how significant and essential his presence is in their lives) he knows that that is his job, but he knows his son so well that he knows he needs to talk and be heard, because nightmares become less frightening when you talk about them, but he knows he wouldn't do that with him because he needs time to be able to process it, but he also knows how risky it is to keep it all inside, and so he has called the one person he is sure Chris can confide in without pressure in a natural way. Eddie is not asking Buck to fix the mess he made, Eddie is simply asking Buck to be Buck, because he is all that Eddie and Christopher need. As he has been from the first moment they met and as he always will be.

Taking away the parallel to 5x12 (this would deserve a separate post), this sentence destroyed me. Eddie doesn't care about himself right now; he cares about Chris. His instinct as a father would lead him to break down that door, to apologize, to get him to talk to him, to hug him, but he loves him so immensely that he knows he can't do that right now, and with all the selflessness that only the strength of the purest love can give you, he steps aside to make sure he’s not alone. Eddie is a wonderful father because he is still learning, and I am afraid he will learn a hard lesson in this episode but I will talk about that once the episode airs.

I would like to say so much more, about how much this also shows Buddie in their essence, in always being there for each other, to always be the priority in each other's lives because essentially, even if they don't realize it yet, they are already one. Let's just hope the show decides to take the path of making them realize what they always have before their eye

One last point is necessary, however. What is written above is only 1% of the story, but that alone is more than enough to make you understand how BuckRats fans will NEVER be able to bother Buddie fans. Because there is no contest, we are talking about two characters, Eddie and Buck, sharing life, soul and heart, and two characters, Buck and the rat, sharing 4 minutes of screen time.

[doyouevenlikehaveanagency]

Whew reading that anon post you commented the below on had me like….. damn random online stranger sure knows a lot about this man and his family, yet no one can come out with legit 100% no question proof that this shitshow is real or fake. 😂

“Also the no money saved up is interesting too cause what could he be spending it on? He's not married and he has no kids unless he's really flexing with family and friends.........”

Also I assume people forget those million dollar houses have property taxes and upkeep and bills that have to get paid monthly and if more money is going out than coming in, that could wipe someone’s finances quickly regardless if they have millions.

Based on rumors that he’s selling homes, not sure if true, but it seems like he’s downgrading which would be smart if his bills are too much or cost more than he’s gaining financially. Hate discussing others’ pockets but just trying to prove a point…..hopefully. 😅

Also just because a celebrity seems rich or keeps up appearances doesn’t mean they got it like that, I don’t care what they say. The pandemic showcased that as well as remember….they have people on their team they have to pay, agency dues, family and personal finances, etc it all adds up and could leave anyone broke even after decades of obtaining a huge amount of money.

Would any of you tell billions of people you’re having financial difficulties? You all know how the world and people are and it’s easy to forget these celebrities aren’t just speaking to a small group of people or their fandoms when doing these interviews, it’s the ENTIRE world watching, people have various motives and many are disillusioned to believe celebrity life is easy, it has numerous perks sure but depending on the caliber of celebrity, it’s far from easy, so yes I’d save face and lie to protect myself, my image and privacy too. Got to stay good to keep that money coming in……right. Easy to judge when we’re not in their shoes.

I don’t care who you are, Financial security is a thing of the past, more money more problems. Prices are increasing daily yet pay and salaries aren’t. Yes, as far as we are aware Chris has more resources and opportunities to gain money, but I was also raised to understand….. nothing in life is free and if it’s free on the surface….. ultimately nothing comes “free”, without a price.

Celebs are just regular humans with other humans paid to make them seem above average and beyond human. Don’t ever forget that. 😉

The wizard of oz is just a guy behind a curtain.

I'm not about to count his coins neither but I can believe he doesn't have the money that people think he does. Jim Carrey just said he went back to work cause he needed money. Al Pacino had said similar. It's been rumored that Bruno Mars is in debt to casinos and that's why his appearance fee is so high. Diddy himself said don't believe Forbes cause the money they said he had wasn't true. All these celebs be lying. I have also always believed everytime he shows up with this girl that he's getting paid.

[sourholland]

based off the taylor swift song style

a/n → hopefully all of you who saw the teaser enjoyed! to any of you who did not, i’m sincerely sorry for the few weeks i was not active on tumblr. i needed some time to myself and my own mental health. i hope you can understand. ALSO—again, a lot of you who requested to be on the taglist did not have it turned on to where i could tag you. feedback is heavily appreciated, especially if you are on my taglist for this fic (it’s long)!!!

summary → he’s the quarterback of the cincinnati bengals, a worldwide heartthrob with an ego the size of lake erie—but does he have the heart to match it? you’re the bengals newest cheerleader, desperate to prove how much you deserve your spot on the team. it doesn’t take much to catch the eye of joe burrow, however that isn’t necessarily a good thing when you’re told that any romantic relations between cheerleaders and players is strictly prohibited.

warnings → strong language, mention of surgery

word count → 3.2k

remember to reblog and leave a comment if you enjoy!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter 3

The cheer squad stood in front of the large tunnel the players would emerge from for their first preseason game against the Arizona Cardinals. Having already come out from the tunnel yourselves, you awaited the players now. In two lines that were parallel to the other, each of you was dressed in black spandex and an orange and black bra-top. Pom poms in hand, you tried not to think about that fact that Joe was about to come out that tunnel.

It had been about a week since you’d gone out to the bar together. A part of you felt silly for your reaction, like you’d overreacted a bit. Mostly because you and Joe were in no way exclusive, as well as the fact that you’d been the one to take the chance glancing at his phone. However, you knew why you’d left the way you did—you truly did like him. It was hard to be mad at yourself when you’d only thought he might’ve felt the same way.

He reached out the morning after, only to apologize and say that he understands if you don’t want to continue whatever it was you’d started. With you not responding, he seemed to have taken the hint. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to him, but more so your pride leaving you to let the text remain on delivered.

“Alright, ladies!” Lily shouted cheerily. “I want to see your biggest smiles, I want to hear your loudest cheers! This may just be preseason, but it’s our first game time appearance of the season.”

Given it was just the preseason, the stadium wasn’t necessarily at max capacity. However, there were still many supporters across the board in orange and black. The voice of the announcer boomed, a large screen showing off this season’s introduction for the Bengals home games.

Through the tunnel came the first half of the team, they wore their white on white uniform this time with the orange helmet. The team was going wild, all of the girls screaming and cheering loudly.

“And here are our offensive starters!” His voice sounded as all of the players had come through the lane you and the other cheerleaders had created for them.

They began to rattle off some of the individual men’s names: Chris Evans, Jacques Patrick, Cordell Volson. It was only when they continued to progress down the list with more and more guys running out that you realized something. You hadn’t seen Joe since that night, which you had regarded as lucky. However, it was incredibly unlikely that in all of the time the team would’ve been preparing for the first preseason game, he’d have been nowhere to be seen the entire time.

Your suspicions were made a reality when they brought out Brandon Allen as the starting quarterback of the game. Not even just this, but Joe was nowhere to be seen. Some of the guys who would start during the regular season were merely with the rest of the team, it wasn’t unusual that they didn’t start during preseason. Joe was completely MIA, though.

Sometime after you finished on the field and stood for the National Anthem, you found yourself unable to stop thinking about the fact that Joe wasn’t at the game. By the time the rest of the squad had taken their sideline spot to start your dance routine, you had to will yourself to focus.

Between dances, you glanced back at the players bench in hopes of realizing you’d simply missed something. It remained the same, though.

“Hey, Lola,” you tried to sound nonchalant during halftime. “Don’t you think it’s weird Joe Burrow is like nowhere to be found.”

“I guess I hadn’t really noticed,” she took a long sip from her Stanley water bottle. “But I mean not really, I heard he went into emergency surgery like a week ago or something.”

“For what,” you nearly gasped. “I mean, that’s awful, do you know what for?”

Lola looked a bit surprised at your sudden care and consideration for the guy. She brushed it off nonetheless. He was attractive as hell and any girl would’ve had a little bit of a crush on him.

“I think his appendix burst,” she told you.

It was no surprise to you that you hadn’t heard, you didn’t watch much ESPN or follow any sports updates on social media. Maybe if you hadn’t decided to completely ghost Joe, you’d have known he’s been in the hospital.

The remainder of the game was pretty much a shit show, the Bengals lost, and even though it was only preseason, it still wasn’t a great way to start off. Guilt overwhelmed you, making it hard to focus on the routines you played key parts in. It was almost like you weren’t in your right headspace at all. All over a fucking boy. Suddenly, you were sixteen and caught up on a guy again. At least that’s how it felt.

As soon as you got into the locker room, your coaches began to ream every girl. Nobody was completely invested. Maybe it was the fact that it wasn’t a proper game, or maybe it was just the blistering heat that had you all making simple mistakes.

By the time you’d gotten to rubbing off the heavy makeup and tying your hair back, the locker room had almost cleared out. You slipped out of your uniform, getting under the hot water of the shower and trying to expel any of the last few hours from your mind.

A pair of athletic shorts and tank top later and you were heading back out to your car with your cheer bag in hand. Only then did you decide to bite the bullet and swallow your pride.

The phone rang once before he picked up.

“Y/N?” Joe’s voice came through the speaker that had now connected to CarPlay.

“Hey, Joe,” you said meekly. “Are you okay? I only heard about your surgery today and I was just wanting to call and see if you were okay—or I mean, if you need anything.”

He breathed out a laugh, you could practically hear his shit-eating grin through the phone. Your face was hot with embarrassment, heart beating a mile a minute as you sat in the driver seat of your car.

“Seems like it’s you missing me now,” he teased you.

“Hardly,” you couldn’t help smiling. “But seriously, Joe. Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, yeah. Recovering from surgery at home this past week. Next week I’m cleared to start throwing around the football again, I’m just hoping to be all set to play for the start of the season next month.”

There was a silence, both of you just sort of waiting for the other to say something. He so desperately wanted to believe that this was you expressing that you weren’t totally washing your hands of him. You just wanted to know that he still wished to hear from you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he finally said. “For the way stuff went down last week.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Joe. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I guess I was just kind of upset over—”

“No, this is on me. I know you probably don’t believe it, but I’m really not the type of guy to get around like that. She was honestly just someone who I’d been on a few dates with, it was absolutely nothing serious. Every now and again she hits me up wanting to fuck, I haven’t even seen her since like March.”

He was right. You really didn’t believe that, but there was also a part of you that wanted to protect your peace. He was making an effort at least. Or maybe you were just naive to the reality of the situation. Whichever it was, you found yourself cursing Joe Burrow and his fucking charm.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, Joe. I get it.”

“Well, I mean now that all that’s sorted, I am kind of feeling a little weak. Maybe you could come over and give me a sponge—”

“Joe!” You laughed.

He was also laughing, cheeks beginning to ache from smiling the entire phone call. You were beyond flustered, rolling your eyes at his boyish comment about you bathing him. He was definitely flushed, wanting to continue to make you laugh.

“Do you want to come over?” He asked, laughter dying down.

There was an internal debate going on in your mind, to say yes would just put you back at square one. To say no, well then you’d just be pissed off at yourself for not taking him up on his offer.

“Sure,” you agreed. “Yeah, sure. I’ll come over.”

He excitedly told you that he’d text you his address, to which you responded wearily about how you look like you’d just fought in a war. He only said that he didn’t mind, you did mind, though. At least you’d been able to thoroughly shower and wash all of the foundation and body glitter away with the loss of the game.

The drive from the stadium to Columbia-Tusculum, Joe’s street, wasn’t bad. Pulling into his driveway, you were almost surprised that he didn’t sport some huge home with at least ten empty rooms with nobody to fill them. Instead, you found yourself staring up at his nice, townhouse looking space. Parking outside of one of the two garages, you could see his Porsche through the tinted glass of the garage door.

Suddenly, you felt a bit self conscious of the simple shorts and align tank top you were wearing. It was late and dark, there were a set of steps up to Joe’s porch that you started up. He must’ve heard your car pull in because as soon as you approached the front door, it swung open to reveal Joe dressed in black sweatpants and a grey Bengals hoodie.

“You found the place alright?” He asked, red cheeks illuminated from the light inside of the house.

“GPS found the house just fine,” you laughed, letting him pull you into the entry way.

There was a mud room to the right of you, filled with all of his sneakers and cleats in concise rows. He had some jackets hung up on the hooks and a few pictures on the walls of himself and his family.

“This is you?” You asked, staring at the picture of a small boy in his flag football uniform.

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

Slipping off your sneakers, you felt a draft in the house that sent goosebumps up your arms. You had a sweatshirt in the car, but since you’d just gotten inside, you didn’t want to already start coming in and out.

“You look oddly energetic for someone who just had surgery,” you noticed.

“I feel a lot better, I’ve lost a good amount of weight since the surgery, though. Plus when they cut into me, I was bound to lose some core muscle, it’ll all have to be built back up.”

He lifted up his sweatshirt, your eyes immediately going to the waistband of his briefs that sat snug on his hips. He pulled both his briefs and sweats down slightly, leaving you with the sight of his toned stomach and V-line. On his right side, close to his hip was a stitched incision.

“It’s healing, at least,” you said, pulling your gaze from his middle and finding his eyes once more. “That counts for something.”

Joe took you around the downstairs of his house, showing you around a bit and commenting on things like pictures to a few of the plaques he’d earned that now adorned his walls. He rambled on and on about growing up playing football, asking you if you’d had a similar experience in your sport.

He kind of reminded you of those guys who always end up scrolling through their entire camera roll and showing you pictures from each part of their life. It was cute, though. He seemed thoughtful and interested in what you responded and how you resonated with his passions.

“We could watch a movie,” he suggested as you came into the living room.

“Sounds good to me,” you chuckled, taking a spot on the end of the coach.

Joe sat down in the center, not wanting to press you in the slightest. He had a neatly folded stack of blankets on the loveseat, but you felt awkward asking him for one. The shorts and align tank was simply not doing it, though. As Roku City lit up the screen, you pulled your knees to your chest and tucked your arms in. Joe looked over and rolled his eyes teasingly, assuming you were just too prideful to say you’re cold.

Without saying a word, Joe removed his hoodie and threw it at you. He was left in a simple black T-shirt, snickering and picking the remote back up. He watched as you tried to protest, but pulled the large hoodie over top of your head nonetheless. His being 6’4 allowed for it to hang a lot lower on you than usual, bunching at the wrists and acting as mittens.

“Rocky?” He asked, how predictable of him.

“A classic,” you grinned. “Could never say no to Rocky.”

Joe felt himself growing hard underneath his sweatpants at the sight of you in his sweatshirt, curled up on his couch. He couldn’t help but watch as you tied your hair up, leaning back watching the screen. His eyes fell to your bare legs, thinking about how he’d fucked you in the back of his car.

“What?” You laughed softly, catching him staring at you.

“Nothing,” he mumbled, looking back to the screen. “Do you want a blanket?”

Finally, you thought. As you shifted over a bit to grab the blanket he’d gotten, you felt yourself nearing his side and wondered if he minded if you sat beside him. He was warm, his eyes trained on the TV as he handed it to you.

When you didn’t move back to your original spot, Joe internally thanked God. He watched as you unfolded the fluffy white throw, staring at it in contemplation and offering a part of it to him to share. He nodded in response, face flushed as you moved into his side. You both were right beside each other now, sharing the same blanket.

“I’m glad you called me,” Joe whispered to you, as if it was a secret.

“Me too,” you yawned. “I just had to see if you were okay, I mean when I didn’t see you at the game I got worried.”

Joe draped an arm over your shoulder, making you lean into him a little farther. It wasn’t long before he heard your steady, even breaths. He saw your eyes had fluttered shut, legs curled up next to his. He clicked the power button on the remote and decided to shift the both of you to be fully laying on the couch rather than off of it.

Grabbing a throw pillow, Joe stuck it behind his head and felt you settle in beside him. Both of you were sprawled out down the couch, your legs askew and wrapped up in his. He closed his eyes as you nestled in further and couldn’t help letting himself rest.

-

When you woke up, Joe was gone and you were drooling all over his couch cushion. He’d covered you in another blanket before he left you, making it hard for you to even will yourself up.

You truly hadn’t meant to stay the night, you planned to come over and see him and leave to go home. You’d woken up earlier than usual for game day and you were exhausted by the time you’d gotten to his house, it was no surprise that you fell asleep soon after.

“Fuck,” you yawned, grabbing your phone off the side table.

Sydney: BITCH

Sydney: Why the fuck does Life360 say you’re in Columbia-Tusculum???!!!!

Sydney: DICK APPOINTMENT!?!?

Choosing to ignore that, you answered a text from your mom and stretched for a second before standing up and deciding you should try and find Joe. It didn’t take much, following the loud booming speaker to his workout room.

He wore basketball shorts and a muscle shirt, only doing very simple stretches that would not strain his body or agitate his healing process. He’d done some walking on the treadmill, staying hydrated and active even from home.

“Hey,” you came into the doorway. “I’m really sorry I fell asleep last night, I didn’t mean—”

“Y/N,” he laughed. “I enjoyed last night too much to let you apologize for it. So stop, I’m not sorry and neither should you be. Did you know you drool? When you sleep, I mean.”

So fucking embarrassing, you thought.

Joe offered to make you breakfast, to which you politely declined. He showed you to the bathroom, where he gave you a spare toothbrush. He was more than inviting, but a part of you still felt like you’d overstayed. He sat on top of the island in the kitchen, looking at you as you leaned against a countertop.

“You don’t have to go, you know?” He told you with a grin. “I’m not even allowed to go sit in on practices until tomorrow.”

“I do,” you gave him a look.

Joe sighed defeatedly like a child, pushing himself off the island and wincing a bit. There was no point in arguing with you. He only enjoyed your company, though. For some reason he liked the way you described things, the way you always listened when someone else was telling you about something. He realized that it didn’t matter if you had no clue in the world about the subject matter, talking to you was like discussing it with your best friend.

“Can I at least walk you out to your car?” He asked you, cocking his head to the side and using the pad of his thumb to brush an eyelash off your cheek.

“Yes,” you answered.

He led the way out, letting you slip your shoes on in the mud room once again. He only put on a pair of slides, unlocking and opening the front door to let you both out onto the front porch. Joe motioned your forward, shutting it behind him and laying a hand on the small of your back without even thinking.

As you unlocked your car, you felt him trail close behind and you both stopped at the driver side door. The proximity between the two of you had closed a considerable amount, he was standing in front of you and casting a look downwards to meet your gaze.

“Thank you for letting me stay over, Joe.”

He leaned in and pressed a chaste, but sweet kiss to your lips. His own cheeks had been shaded a nice pink color as he smiled into the brush of your lips. He held your car door open for you and watched as you got inside.

“I’ll see you soon, Y/N,” he tells you with that famous smile, running a hand through his already messy hair.

“Bye, Joe.”

taglist - @angelspovxo @humannoodlesoup @nikkisimps @wooahaeuji @teasandcrumpets @chmpgnnlace @hummusxx @rivivie @madsblogsstuff @nngkay @raeofsunshine629 @siutforjjmaybank @alternativemadchen @ryiamarie @ohreggieboy @coldheartedmar @nowandkei @obsessed-fan-alert @buckystwilight @dessxoxsworld @manic-pixie-bitch2 @hallecarey1 @heyitskay-21 @joselyn001 @stylesyourmine @toterry @countryday @adventuremood @blu3jeanbaby @sriusun @mikeyspinkcup @kittyhorror777 @f-hollands

[sidewayspeace444]

If I may speak. I want everyone to take a good look at these "real blogs" and how they conduct themselves.

They have nonstop claimed to have insider and private info on this man for the first time in decades, and then when the info is not matching or is wrong, or they don't deliver, they gaslight people and claim they never said it. They twist words and constantly play victim.

Since November they have not been informed clearly of anything with this "couple". Why? Because the narrative does not need selling anymore. Usually that's a signal it's coming to an end. I hate to tell you, but hollywood uses fans all the time for PR. But this one got out of hand because of the people they used to push the narrative. Clearly those blogs felt that justified their targeted attacks and bullying on other people. It's outrageous.

A blog simply said that Scott was watching Dodger in LA, as per a zoom he did with a fan (he does those on cameo) . This prompted Lonesome to attack that blog and act like they "Don't know anything" about Chris, and they proceeded to post 6 year old doggy daycare footage of his pet. In order to prove what? I leave my pet at daycare and have a decade (for various pets) No one has access to a fucking camera from a pet daycare unless you own an animal there. Which means she either illegally obtained that content or someone working there violated their job for clout. Either way, you can be sued.

On top of that, she and her minion Claire targeted the other blog and accused them of making "nonstop accounts" and then tried to pretend their own browser history was that of the other blog. Do they really think that you can just hack into someone's computer and see their browsing? These people are insane and unhinged. That was their own browser history, not the other blog, not to mention they posted it being 1:00 am, Oh you hacked into someone's computer when she was sleeping huh? . And let's remember LQ and Claire are the ones who have continuously stalked that other blog and a few others, and constantly post screen shots of everything they do. This is targeted harassment, this is so far beyond "real or PR" sides. This is nonsense. What people need to be doing is reporting those damn psychotic blogs and stop giving them attention. Cut it off. They are over the line. There's plenty of people here who may view this stunt differently, but going after people just because they knew something you didn't, and trying to boast that you have private footage of this man's animal is another level of Sick. And frankly she should be torn down for that alone.

The PR blogs you may not agree with everything they do , but they have not behaved like these other blogs, not even close.

Lonesome and her minions need to just go away and never come back.

Who and what is Claire? Irrelevant.

I’ve seen the Scott photo myself. All three of them. It existed. I don’t care if people decide to shade me, or post indirect messages or not. It doesn’t follow certain peoples narratives or ideas, and that’s exactly what pisses others off.

I don’t care what Lonesome thinks or believes. If she wants to live in a fantasy bubble that this is true luv 💙 then go for it, but when you openly attack people for the very same thing you have been doing in the past, then you should be called out.

I’m still waiting on that Tomas photo from June of 2022.

[sturniolo-rat]

Too Sweet: Prologue

Matthew Sturniolo X Reader

A/N: I did a poll to see if y’all wanted this but I already had it written so it was a trick question 😌😌😌💕

Contains: literally nothing, no smut no fluff just story

TW: alcohol abuse?, drunk driving, existential dread

Matt is an optimistic do gooder on his way to Redwood University to start his masters degree. He’s far from home but he feels like the world is at his fingertips.

Cricket is a high school drop out going nowhere fast. She’s deeply unhappy with her job as a bartender at a tavern frequented by Dungeons and Dragons larpers.

They can’t help but feel drawn to each other, but is he too sweet for her?

This is what they were doing the morning of the day they met.

Y/N’s Pov

It’s 8 am on a Tuesday. I take a shot of fireball in preparation for my 12 hour shift at The Enchanted Mushroom Tavern and Inn. It is a belief commonly held that taverns and inns only exist in dungeons and dragons. This is false, as all well loved imaginary things come to life with time. That’s a fancy way of saying this place was built for people who LARP and I have to pretend I’m a medieval bar wench.

I squeeze myself into my costume that consists of an off white shirt with puffy off the shoulder sleeves, a mossy green skirt with a tattered and uneven hem, and a brown corset over top that I will note is Elizabethan and not medieval. The woefully inaccurate uniform isn’t the worst part of the job though. While at work my name is no longer Y/N it’s Petronella Epworth the fucking third and I wear the dumbass name tag to prove it.

“Let’s go, Phoebe!” I yell from our living room. I’ve never been a patient woman. Not even when we were kids. We met in kindergarten when she was hesitant going down the big slide at the park and I decided she was taking too long and pushed her. I’m bitch but I’m an insanely efficient, hardworking bitch that gets what she wants.

“Give me a minute!” She’s been working at the Tavern with me for a year and a half, and I’m always 15 minutes early for work. Because we carpool, she is always 15 minutes early for work, which has given her a reputation of reliability that she does not deserve. Phoebe has a few redeeming qualities to make up for her flakiness. When I need her, and she actually shows up, she’s unreasonably nurturing. One time, when I got sick after I dropped out of high school, she played hooky and stayed in my family’s trailer to take care of me. She brought ingredients for homemade soup and blankets. Nice blankets, too, the fleece ones that go on sale around Christmas time. The book she stole from her mother’s collection to read to me was the highlight of my week. It was called “My Alpha Mate.” The main character was an omega, and her love interest was an alpha. I think they were like werewolves or something. It was extremely smutty.

“I’ll just wait in the car, then!” There’s a loud thud as I close the front door. My van is objectively shitty. It’s a 1998 Nissan Quest that I’ve named Ted. I do, however, feel that if you’re 24 and own a van, you ought to be either a mother or a hippie with that cool Volkswagon. My vehicle doesn’t match me at all, but at least he carts around all the shit I own that doesn’t fit in my apartment. While I wait in the driver’s seat, I take a swig from the flask I keep in the car—fireball, of course, always fireball. I take a long look at myself in my rearview mirror and wonder what I’m doing with my life.

Matt’s Pov

It’s 8 am on a Tuesday and the sun is shining down on me through the sunroof of my car. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I already know it’s one of my brothers.

We’re triplets and have never been apart for more than 3 days at a time. When I was getting my bachelors degree they got an apartment two blocks away from my dorm. Chris and Nick never went to college and started a clothing brand called Fresh Love and a chapstick brand called Space Camp. Safe to say my lips are well moisturized. I’m actually wearing gray Fresh Love sweatpants right now. They’re very comfortable and perfect for long drives. I’m embarking on a 10 hour road trip to my new apartment near Redwood University where I will be studying for the next 5 years. My brothers think I’m absolutely insane for moving this far away from home.

“Chris, you know I hate answering the phone while I’m driving.” He does this on purpose to piss me off, but when I get into an accident because he divided my attention, he’s going to be sorry.

“Dude, did you know Red U’s mascot is a booby.”

“Yes, I did.” I most certainly did not know that.

Nick chimes in because, of course, Nick is there too. They’re never far apart. “Okay, but, listen to me when I say this, Matt, it’s a blue-footed booby at Red U.” He puts emphasis on blue and red. “Doesn’t that bother you? It bothers us!”

“Why on earth would that bother me? I’m not going for the sports anyway.” It bothers me a great deal. I can’t believe I have to rep the Redwood blue-footed boobies. This will surely tarnish the Sturniolo family name.

“Shut up!” says Chris. “I know it bothers you, and that’s why you have to turn that car around immediately and come back home.”

“Chrissy, I love you and Nick the most, but I have to go. I’ve got a scholarship and a once-in-a-lifetime internship.” Red U is home to one of the most prestigious research labs in America, and I have an internship there. It’s the whole reason I applied to the university; the scholarship was just an added bonus—the perks of being a straight-A student.

He groans, “I know. We know you’re going to go out and do great things.”

We’re just gonna miss our little Mattmallow,” adds Nick in that weird baby voice people use sometimes. My heart sinks at the use of my childhood nickname.

“I’m gonna miss you guys too.” More than I’ve missed anyone ever.

“Alright, man. I’m gonna leave you alone. I know you hate talking and driving,” Nick says, and I know he’s feeling a little uncomfortable.

“Love you, guys.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

The line goes dead and I know I should feel some sort of sadness but really I just feel loved. I am deeply loved, my future is bright, and I feel like today is an omen.

Masterlist

Taglist

@wurlibydominicfike @yourmumscar69 @69isabella69 @mattsturniolosgf @mrsmiagreer since you guys liked the Too Sweet poll post

[siremasterlawrence]

True Believer

My POV:

Shattering glass could be heard falling to massive full room blue carpet in my room when I feel an intense pain banging in my head I scream out loud and hold both of my hands on my forehead crying in utter pain.

My scream is ear excruciatingly high shatter through the windows sending waves of pure bliss hitting ten male celebrities and I mind linking together they suddenly drops to the knees crying in pain ass well feeling all I do till it stops.

I black out completely falling face forward on to the ground sliding on to my side I am calling for help before I go dark for a new world transformation and my more celebrity pals do the same and wake up a few hours later.

Ben:

“Uuugggghhh! What happened?” I think to myself waking up twice on the ground of a tennis court as Ben Affleck along with my mind in his we are one now and I stir him up in to reality where he is shocked to be laying in filth.

His body rolls on instinct I instructing him to rise to his feet which he does obediently to pick up his racket and starts to paddle the ball with his palm before aiming it up into the air and hitting with his racket pounding it across the room.

The ball pounces on the wall shooting right back at us with such force as the other two are afraid to even hit back it passes them in such power and sheer rage they jump to the side even Ben is even shock he could do that at all.

Tom:

Across the sea the same impact is evidently happening everywhere connecting many to me I can see his reflection looking back at me and I sit up with mischievous smile on my face turning to see his wife I knew I would have fun.

We slip from his bed standing in front of the mirror slowly taking off of his pajamas head to toes he is distinctly naked for me to see the fruits of my labor forcing him to strike a pose every two minutes switching his toned body.

New positions being discovered for us both as he exposes his muscles rippling at my very touch and his body scooting ever closer to the glass and my mind using his lips to kiss every crevice and inch of his arms.

Henry:

Henry Cavill meanwhile burst through the glass doors of his home stripping his body, the shirts above his head and the pants dropping like flies and me rushing into his bathroom showing off to myself and my own audience.

The mirror grows very tiring after a hour of admiring his looks I flip the knob for the bath faucet raining down on to us as I step in and I embrace the steaming heat with the cold brisk air coming at us through the window on to my skin.

My hand goes at it lathering up my hand with soap then splattering it digging deepin to my skin the water splashing it all away as it curls to the sink hole and my back tend to keep backing the wall feeling the warmth of it.

Chris E

My favorite stands tall in his bedroom his wife leaving for the day I excitedly feel the enthralling pounding is his heartbeat filled with happiness in his heart and he senses my hands invisible smothering his body with warmth.

Winking in the mirror I disrobe to his under pants kneeling downward, lifting both of my arms in the air pushing his nose in to the arm pits licking, sucking and kissing them carefully with so much passion, desire and need.

His cock grows even harder springing in to action pointing straight forward with a plus for a effortless attitudes, his face contorts to one of a smarmy expression of asswipe with condescension on his mind and he will soon know the truth with his camera in my hand texting a pic for me.

Chris P

“Why am I still outside?” A voice calls

“Turn around”

“Who is it?” He questions

“TURN AROUND “

“Fuck! Fine” he swears

“Who the fuck are you ?” He screams

“Guess who body this is?”

“It’s mine…like always” he yells

“Give me my body back” he howls

“Do you want me to punch you?” I ask”

“Hell no! Release me” he begs

“Mwahahahahaha!” I bellow loudly hitting him in the face.

“Do you love my control?”

“I hate you “

“Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!”

“You love me”

“I’ll prove it “

“Ahahahahahaha….oh god…ohohohoh”

Tom Ellis is working out in a private gym and he is not expecting a mob of other hot celebrity guys gunning for him as they grab him off the machine and knock him out as he lifted in to a spa.

“Hello Tom”

“Shut up”

“Don’t speak “

“Notice the heat “

“The heat calms you “

“Soothing you “

“Freeing your mind “

“Freezing you out “

“You are a spectator now”

“Welcome to the show “

“This is my body “

“Entertainment me”

“Hey babe”

“Uuuugghhhh”

“Your voice”

“Your words”

“I am straining here”

“You have me”

Stephen Amell is at the pool of his home in a bit of heat he is looking extraordinary faded light army green shirt, shorts and sun shade showing off most of his skin bathing and basking in the glory of the sunlight washing on to him.

“Wait? Where am I?”

“With me”

“Oh right”

“Hey babe”

“Babe”

“Are you ok?”

“I guess”

“It’s all wrong “

“What is?”

“What’s missing?”

“My home “

“My wife and kids “

“Yyyuuuccckkk”

“Hey!”

“That dream again I see”

“It’s not a dream “

“Remember…this is my body now”

“Oh yeah! Hell yeah!”

Liam hemsworth is lying in bed completely waking up in a panic of sweat he is so hot and bothered he has no idea what I am up to except we are a single unit and one ass all in together he should serve me his one god.

The end

[oh-my-damn]

Hey Mandy,

I know you said you’re not going to post every single ask, which I understand since your inbox has exploded because of everything going on now.

I really do hope you’re able to find mine within the shuffle & hopefully answer?

I just want your advice (and anyone else’s out there?) on how to move forward?

I so appreciate all the posts I’ve been seeing fighting back at all the negativity being thrown at the fandom itself - ALL OF OUR FEELINGS ARE INDEED 100% VALID.

People out there are depicting us as these “femcels” who are having “meltdowns” and “tantrums” because “Chris will never fuck us” and all that similar conjecture - which honestly really stings because that’s truly not the case and what’s happening at all. That doesn’t even begin to describe it. If only they actually knew, if only everything we knew and have witnessed was more public knowledge, but sadly, it isn’t.

We’re all so disappointed and feeling how we’re feeling not because he’s gotten married at all, it’s not that fact, it’s not the verb, it’s the noun - it’s because of WHO he’s married and the circumstances revolving this. It’s because of who he has CHOSEN to go down this path with & share his life, his name, everything with. This is who he has chosen to connect and link his name to.

We’re not making up anything. This isn’t “fandom lore.” Everything that we have found out about this girl and the people who she herself is involved with, it’s all right there, the receipts and proof are literally there. And it’s IMPOSSIBLE that Chris himself or anyone in his circle doesn’t know even one iota of any of this. He knows. His family, his friends, his whole entire world knows.

In yet, in spite of all of this - he and they have all CHOSEN and ACCEPTED her and her whole group - with open freaking wide arms.

“The company you keep, is a reflection of who you are.”

And this just goes to prove to us all, after all this time, that THIS is who he truly is, too.

Everything that he stood up for, just everything… you CANNOT be both. You just cannot be the guy who stands up to racism and anti-Semitism and publicly proclaims all these things, and then quite literally be around, married and tied to someone who represents the COMPLETE OPPOSITE.

You just cannot.

I’m rambling now which wasn’t my intention. My head is pounding. I literally cannot believe any of this, I just can’t. After all these years, after everything - this is what it’s come to? Her? And it’s just so many layers of it too - the age gap, the optics of how they look together only making the difference even more apparent, her *film* history, her personal history, the fucking trolling and lying and manipulating, and then all the racism and everything else tied to it. I just…

He’s a cliche. He truly is.

We thought he was different. We thought he was better.

But it was all a facade.

Because he actually, truly isn’t.

And I’m rambling again…I’m so sorry.

Going back to the whole reason why I even reached out in the first place, I just really need advice on how the hell to get over this and move on. I actually hate that this is even affecting me as much as it is. After Bermuda, I just knew it was coming, but I honestly didn’t believe it was happening until much later, so I barely was able to mentally and emotionally prepare myself fully.

And ngl, but I was still holding out hope. I really was, because I just couldn’t believe or even process the thought of him actively choosing this with her, after everything. I just couldn’t wrap my head around him not being who I thought and truly believed he was. But now…

I am just in such shock, anger, disappointment and complete sadness.

So I really need to know, how is everyone else getting through this?

Any tips? Any advice?

I truly don’t know what to do with myself atp.

It’s like a major car wreckage or something, I know some people will say to just turn away and don’t look, but I honestly can’t stop looking because I know more developments are coming.

Anyway, I know I sound a certain way now, “unhinged” but I honestly don’t even care. I know my feelings are valid and I’m not alone. And I understand this has happened with other fandoms too unfortunately. I know life goes on and we all will eventually move on too, with time. I know we will. But getting there, it’s going to be so hard and honestly, it may even take longer than expected.

Again, any guidance, any words of comfort, anything at all, I just need someone to share something.

If you do post and answer this, Mandy - thank you in advance for giving me this space. 💜

Hi hon. I'm not quite sure what to say, because I don't know if I have any advice on that..

For me it's been a long process of slowly getting more and more tired of it/him/them. My breaking point was definitely the Ghosted premiere, things changed for me after that.

I can definitely understand why a lot of people are having a hard time right now, and I know it's going to take time for people to move on from something like this. Fandoms run very deep, especially on a site like here where there's content being made and you kind of get to dive into it more than usual.

But I think the first step is distancing. After the Ghosted premiere, I unfollowed a ton of fan blogs. I didn't want to see him on my dash bc I just got annoyed every time, and I unfollowed the blogs that were like keeping us updated on what he was doing etc.

It may be beneficial for you to unfollow the people who are putting his pictures etc on your dash, or talking about him (this could even include blogs like mine. It may be easier to take a clean break) you can even filter out his name on here and other SM (I've done that for insta and tiktok, for example) and it really is true that if something is out of sight, it's out of mind.

I'm sorry you're feeling sad. It really sucks, I get that. I hope you know that a lot of people share that feeling with you right now.

But to be honest, the only good tool I know for helping with any of this is distance. Distance yourself from him/his content etc. This means stop liking and watching his edits on tiktok, cleanse your insta so he doesn't show up on your explore page, unfollow fan blogs and accounts (even though a lot have already deactivated lol). If you read fanfics, maybe stop reading about him.

Another thing that has helped me immensely is adopting the mindset that the real person is a different entity from the characters. At this point, in my mind, his characters have absolutely nothing to do with the person himself. This is what has helped me to continue writing for so long, for example.

Otherwise it's just about time. The wound is fresh right now, so to speak, so of course it'll be worst now. But it will pass. In time, it's going to be this thing you felt that you don't even know why you did because he really ain't shit. He's not worth all of these terrible things people are feeling right now, I promise you he's not.

He doesn't appreciate or care about his fans, why should you care so much about him?

I know this may not be the things you'd want to hear but I don't know what else to say.... But I hope it helps even just a little bit ❤️

[georgiapeach30513]

Mrs pasta here checking in on you peach 🍑

Glad to see you doing well and as always, keeping positive and away from the drama.

I also see operation manufacturing an internet bf has some people in a tiff. 😂

I myself don’t mind the carbon copy, I think he’s cute and somewhat charming, but what I don’t love is seeing the sudden bandwagon jump as always.

I have always side eyed fair weathered fans. Jumping to whoever is “hot” at the moment and then piling on someone else when they are “down.” I have no issues with carbon copy having his own fans - I just resent a comparison being used to put one down over the other. There’s no need for that. Especially when some are doing it on purpose to get a rise out of others.

I also have a feeling some people will be crawling back in the near future. I’ve always thought Ramen wasn’t meant to go the commercial route of big blockbuster movies and beefcake persona. I think his innate nature (at least publicly) has shown he tends to thrive when he follows his guns and picks a risky or unique project with a director that has a specific vision. I think this is where he will continue to find inspiration and return on investment.

If money isn’t an issue for him anymore, I think these smaller but more original/different projects may carve him a future in character acting that I think he still has a chance to succeed in.

He doesn’t need to be a top shelf A lister or even awards darling to do it. He is talented and he will find an audience somehow, I am sure of this.

Remember - art is subjective. And what makes a good movie isn’t necessarily how many awards it gets or how big the box office numbers are. If you are someone’s favorite actor in a movie they watch religiously and they can quote every line, or you are an actor whose opened a person up to a new genre or franchise simply because they enjoyed you on screen - then in my books, you’ve succeeded. I think Ramen has done that for many people in this world and I don’t think he needs to prove anything to anyone. I myself have seen multiple men wearing cap America tshirts this month alone (it’s 2024!) - white, Asian, Black, Latinx, older, middle aged, teenaged, child. Both Ramen and his friend Buldak (three guesses who I’m referring to 😉 AM) have created a legacy that won’t be going away anytime soon. Ten years ago, I used to mainly see batman and superman t shirts. I don't think all these new fans are just people who like comic books.

Be well, peach. Until next time!

Mrs. Pasta!! I welcome you back, it’s been awhile, but glad to see you around these neck of the woods again.

I actually think Chris’ career was heading out of the internet boyfriend for a while, and now here we are. I’ve tried to remain out of this discourse because I never want to yuck on someone else’s yum, but of course people want to push him and his projects on me, or want to talk about him, and eventually I do, and they don’t like it. When I’ve stated multiple times that the man does absolutely nothing for me in looks and I don’t enjoy his movies, and that’s being generous given his list of projects. Everyone has their time to come up, but his has been quick, since working on Top Gun. Almost like he has someone who wanted to invest in his career. Good for him. Now go away and create a new identity 😂

As you talk about the fair weathered fans, it just proves it was more about the looks and persona than about the talent. Which is fine, but we don’t have to kick him when he’s down to lift another up. I have been a fan of his since 2001. I became a fan for his looks, yes, and stayed because I enjoyed him. I enjoyed his body of work, meaning projects. I enjoyed his public persona, etc. You don’t stay a fan for over 20 years on looks alone. Although his looks to me are a bonus.

Chris’ career is fine, despite what some people believe. It is not of the height as it was when he was in Marvel, but neither is RDJ’s, Scarlett’s, or anyone’s. Marvel is a wheelhouse, and is in a league all of its own, so it’s silly to compare the two. However, Chris has had movies since Not Another Teen movie where he was the lead, and had a character name. It was a slow, but steady climb to his peak in 2018/2019. But he has officially announced three projects for this year alone. People don’t even know what he could be planning for 2025. He is an attractive white man that has a reputation for an excellent work ethic. He’ll be okay.

And you’re right. I would wager most actors aren’t A-List anymore. I seriously get tired of this conversation because it goes around in circles. But this age of celebrities are not the ones from the past. And that’s okay. Things change. As long as he is happy with his career and the way it’s going, and he’s being fulfilled it shouldn’t matter if he’s in huge box office successes.

Buldak! I love this!! I think the spicy ramen suits Mackie 😉 And you’re right. Superman was the superhero of the past. Now, it’s Captain America. Nobody can ever take Steve Rogers from Chris, or the fact that he was the face of Marvel for years. But I don’t even consider Steve to be one of my favorite characters. However, he was perfect for it, and nobody could have done it better.

As always, Mrs. Pasta, thanks for dropping in!