#and Bats did what he does best and explored every nook and cranny

[furshrimps]

It's less than 2 weeks until the move and I can NOT wait. No more excessive stairs 🥹 the opportunities to walk the dogs myself again. Maybe even go for longer walks/ hikes again at some point! Ohhhh I SO can't wait 🥹🥹🥹 I wish it was right nowwwwwww

[otomeonfleek]

Imagine: If Voltage guys were Life-Hack College Students

No one asks for these wonderful shit pieces, but they tickle my fancy and I deliver unlike Digiorno. It’s also in honor of how I start uni again tmrw. Sup junior yr. 

The following is based off of likely real events in being horrifically innovative as a poor college student.

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Shusei Hayakawa from Our Two Bedroom Story

1. Unplug everything when leaving the house

After an exhausting week of midterms, you and Shusei were due for a well-deserved date. You eagerly wait in front of his apartment door and faintly hear him clambering on the other side. Within seconds, the door slams open and he sends a sheepish smile. “(Y/N)!! You’re here!” 

You suppress a laugh at how frazzled he seems with his light tresses sticking up in random directions and the stain on his favorite gray hoodie. Sometimes he could be a complete ditz and forget to get ready on time. “Hey! Are you ready to go?” 

He nods with a bright smile and says, “Just give me a minute! You can step inside for now.” Stepping to the side, he lets you enter and starts to flit around the room. 

Curious, you slip off your shoes and lean against the arm of his beat-up leather sofa. 

The blonde starts to chatter mindlessly as he wrestles his arm into every nook and cranny of the room, casually pulling out electrical cords. From the TV to the toaster and AC, he unplugs every single power outlet without batting a lash. Even dangling his long legs above the back of the couch and his voice is muffled, likely from the blood rushing to his head, he’s still speaking to you normally as he seeks out the final plug. 

He slides back and jumps to his feet, “Ah. We should get going now or we’ll be late for the lunch special.” Without missing a beat, he strides to the front door and slips on his worn converse. 

“...Shusei...Why’d you unplug everything??” You can’t help, but ask. 

Since arriving at his apartment, his then chipper mood dips a bit. “O-Oh that. It’s just a habit, I guess! My electric bill is never over $50 ahah.” Chuckling awkwardly, he opens the door with an embarrassed flush on his face. 

Noting his drop in mood, you try, “Whoaa!! That’s amazing. You’ll have to teach me more, Master Shusei!” You joke and loop your arm in his. 

A fond look takes over and he grins, “Oh, I don’t know if a pupil like you could keep up in the way of the frugal!!” 

-----------------------

Shintaro Ando from When Destiny Comes Knocking: 

2. Steal from the rich and give to the poor

One of the best ways to get out and not spend money was taking evening walks. Both you and Shintaro made it a habit to explore nice neighborhoods and judge the houses. It sounded silly, but when you’re scrounging for every penny and dreaming off the high life, it wasn’t too horrid of a date idea. The areas were safe, pleasant to look at, and you weren’t spending a dime. 

You often would end the evening in giggles as you pretended to envision the affairs that Margaret would take part in with her husband, Richard, away on business in Madrid. 

“Poor Richard. He never saw it coming-with the gardener, nonetheless.” You mumble with faux sympathy as you and your bespectacled beau pass the gated, three-storied mansion with a gaudy outdoor fountain and cobble walkway. 

Playing along, he chokes back a laugh and comments, “Well, Richard’s a moron! He should’ve known better. The peonies have been dying for weeks, so he should have known that gardener wasn’t doing no gardening!” His thick Kansai accent comes out to play as he exchanges jokes. 

Doubling over in guffaws at the storyline, you are soon joined by your partner in crime as you hold onto another for support. “You’re not wrong-the peonies are shit.” You concur and then stop to admire the next house. 

Momentarily mystified at his sudden silence and gaping mouth, you follow his line of vision and pause at the sight of an orange tree. This particular house does not have a gate and you can already hear him thinking. 

“No. We can’t.” You state, stiffly. 

Ignoring your reasoning, he spares you a blank look and asks, “Do you know how expensive produce is?” Without waiting for your answer, he steps forward with his suddenly beady eyes flitting around for any obvious security cameras. 

From your still place, you hiss at him, “I said no!! What if we get caught?” Now paranoid, you similarly start to glance around with worry. Despite being incredibly competent in school as a Dean’s List student, he’s a complete idiot in other life aspects and will likely go to jail for orange theft, you note. 

“This guy drives a Lexus!! I think he could stand to lose a few oranges. Besides I haven’t had real fruit in months!” He half-whispers to you as he starts to shamelessly pick off desired oranges from the tree and rest them in the pockets of his sweater. 

Before you can argue, the light from that same house flickers on and you both scramble away in the direction of your parked Toyota. 

You don’t bother to glance back to see if he’s close behind as you shout, “If we go to jail because you can’t spend $5 on fruit, I’ll kill you!!” 

There’s a thump behind you and you can only hear him cry in anguish, “C-Crap, my oranges!!” 

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Shohei Aiba from In Your Arms Tonight 

3. Use your bathtub for laundry when you run out of spare change

After a fun day at Aiba’s neighborhood pool, you both trod into his apartment with intentions of changing. As students, it’s difficult to go out of your way or pay for a gym membership for exercise, and so his pool is heaven sent.

Despite your earlier enjoyment, you now are both miserably dripping with chlorine in your swimwear and holding uselessly saturated towels. 

Being a gentleman of sorts, he insists you use the shower first. Taking his offer, you head into the single bathroom and are about to slip off your curve-hugging one piece when you halt in your tracks. 

Sliding the glass shower doors open, you nearly lose your shit. “Shohei...” You call out weakly. 

Footsteps approach and he knocks from the other side, baritone slightly concerned, “Is something wrong??” 

You turn the knob and see him blush, likely expecting you to be nude or clad in a towel. His face loosens and he cocks his head at your still garment-clad appearance, “What’s up?” 

Stepping aside, you gesture at the tub filled with laundry soaked in detergent and color-catcher sheets. “Is that what I think it is?” 

His instantly blanches and trips over his on words, “A-AH, that is...! I-I... I kind of ran out of change for the laundry mat hahah.” 

The earnest brunette groans as he covers his face in shame, collapsing to sit on the closed lid of his toilet seat, “Ugh, you probably think I’m some loser now...” 

Yes, the fact that he’s using his bathtub as a makeshift laundry machine due to his shortage of change is slightly off-putting and clearly indicates a life struggle. On top of how comically defeated he looks while pouting on his toilet, you can see how he might think that. 

However, you could never think so poorly of your own boyfriend. You fell for him because of how selfless, genuine, and awkwardly goofy he was. 

You shake your head and deny him, “No way!” 

He perks up at how sure you sound only to hunch over when you follow up with, “I already knew you were a loser!” 

Smirking lightly at his groan, you sink to your knees beside the tub and suggest, “Well, we should probably start scrubbing and wringing them dry or your clothes will get ruined.” 

His warm caramel irises comically water and he launches himself at you in a tight embrace. “I love you so much!!” 

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Kishi Mamoru from Kissed By the Baddest Bidder

4. Make sure people Venmo you back

You were far from the type to automatically expect for your partner to pay for everything. In fact, you typically did half and half for the check. However, there were some times that truly grated on your nerves when it came to your slacker boyfriend and money. 

At a rather pivotal turning point in the film, Mamoru leans over to complain, “I’m hungry.” 

You suppress an eye roll at how only he would have the audacity to ignore such an engaging storyline in favor of his stomach. This is a horror film where one of the most beloved protagonists just got strangled by a ghost and he couldn’t care less. Sighing, you suggest, “Go get some popcorn or something then.” 

He hums thoughtfully, “Do you want some too?” 

“Huh? Yeah, sure...Go away now.” Throwing a hand up to simultaneously shut him up and shoo him, you jolt in your seat at the sudden jumpscare. 

“AHH!” The entire movie theater sans Mamoru screams with a follow-up in delighted laughter at how admittedly obvious the scene was. 

Your boyfriend sighs and slinks out of the seat to the refreshments stand.

When the movie is long over and you are both lazing around on his apartment couch, you do a double-take at what he says next. 

With his battered iPhone 4 in his hand, he mumbles, “So when are you going to venmo me for the popcorn?” 

Your (e/c) flit to him in shock and he shamelessly meets your stare. “W-Wait, what? That was your popcorn! I hardly ate any of it,” you protest. 

Lazily, he cocks his head with a smirk and says, “So you admit you ate some of it. That will be $2.50 please.” He turns his phone and the cracked screen is pulled up to his venmo account. 

For a tiny moment, you are impressed with how he managed to get a confession from you. Damn, maybe Mamoru really could be a detective. He could be sharp when he wanted. You glance at the old Apple model in his hands and mentally snicker at how the Criminal Justice major ironically doesn’t look as sharp. 

Switching to reality, you sit up on the couch to fix him with a glare. “Mamo, you really want me to pay you back for $2.50 and for food that I barely ate?”

He shrugs his shoulders and there is just a hint of a grin tugging at his lips, “Every penny counts.” 

Huffing, you pull out your phone and start to work on transferring the money. You ignore the victorious expression on his visage and practically feel his excitement at being paid. 

Suddenly recalling a recent outing, you pull up the billing information on your bank account and turn to him with a chilling grin. “If it’s going to be like that, then, you owe me for that time I paid for KBBQ! With tip, that’s $27.13 please!” Sarcastically, you open your palm towards him and flex your fingertips in a lecherous way. 

At once, the older junior pales and practically starts to sweat with his stormy-hued eyes darting side to side. Rubbing the back of his head, he coughs awkwardly. “I’ll tell you what, babe. You don’t have to pay me back anymore. I’ll take it out of what you owe me.” A sheepish expression takes over his face and you laugh, bumping shoulders with him at how silly worrying over every penny the other owes is. 

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Nozomu Fuse from True Love, Sweet Lies

5. Use flashlights when the lights are broken

Deciding to stay the night at his house to study for an upcoming exam, you excuse yourself to use the bathroom. Your cheery partner only nods, promising to finish the next problem by the time you return. Sometimes statistics was hard, but having a secret genius like Nozomu helps. 

You pad over to the toilet and flip on the switch. Pulling your leggings and panties down, you shriek when the lights suddenly flicker off. Left in the dark and in distress, you call out for your boyfriend whose footsteps you can already hear clambering up the steps. 

“(Y/N)!! Are you okay?? I’m coming in!” The door knob turns and you shut your legs for decency’s sake. 

There is a short second before the sudden glare of his Samsung smartphone’s light momentarily blinds you. 

You cover your eyes and demand, “What the hell?? Is there a blackout or something? Why are the lights out?” 

Nozomu places his phone down on the flat of the sink counter with the light better helping than blinding you. He starts to chuckle with a slight nervous edge in his voice as he explains, “A-Ah, well...There’s no blackout. The bathroom light’s just kind of broken.” 

“...Well, why don’t you fix it?” The solution to his issues is so obvious, you note while trying to ignore how ridiculous you feel sitting on his toilet with your garments wrapped against your ankles. 

He doubles over in awkward giggles that sound worriedly stressed before admitting, “Ahah, I don’t have any money for that...yet!” 

With his face nearly twitching at how desperately he’s trying to convince you and himself that finances aren’t ruining him, he reaches into a drawer and fishes an emergency light. “In the meantime, you can use this flashlight! It’s more powerful than any phone light and waaay more peaceful than having all these blaring ceiling lights everywhere! Yup, this is fine!” He turns it on and positions it vertically so the beam is shining across the ceiling. 

Shooting you a final smile with a pained edge, he exits the room with his smartphone in hand and carefully shuts the door. 

After a few moments, you feel your face fall again in noticing the lack of toilet paper. Your memory wanders to his kitchen and the stack of Starbucks napkins you saw earlier. 

You need to help this man. 

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Toma Kiriya from Irresistable Mistakes

6. Use cafe wifi when your internet’s down

You were walking to your dorm after a late-night gym session when you noticed Toma standing in front of your campus Starbucks with an employee. The brunette with a notorious attitude problem was clutching his laptop case in one hand and in the other holding a water cup. 

As you got closer, you could hear what was being exchanged and felt your soul leaving its body. 

“Sir, I told you that we’re going to have to ask you to leave.” The barista in the infamous green apron states calmly, an exhausted expression apparent on their face from working hectic shifts with lunatics like your boyfriend as clientele.  

Accordingly, the accounting major huffs and strikes a defiant pose. His chin juts up and his eyes steel, “I already told you that I bought something! Why can’t I stay??” He raises his drink as if it will automatically save him from this argument. 

The other college student’s visage turns blank as they state, “...Sir, you only bought a water cup. Second, I told you that it’s already closing time.” With frustrating wavering through, the employee glances down at their smartwatch for emphasis. 

“Listen buddy, my internet’s been down this whole week. I need just fifteen more minutes of wifi to finish my essay on microeconomic theory and I know that the modem is too far to connect when I’m sitting out here! So for the love of all that is caffeinated, please let me stay!!” Toma’s cold attitude is suddenly overshadowed by his clear desperation as he pleads. 

Sighing, the worker asks with a slightly bored look, “How long have you been awake?” 

“Thirty-two hours, but who’s counting?” Your boyfriend rubs at his eyes blearily, the typical flannel of his whipping around him as the air outside grows colder. 

Budging with sudden empathy for his fellow university student, the barista stands aside and props the door open. “Fine, you can stay...Some of us wanted to finish some assignments anyway and the internet in the library is shit.” 

Before the hopeful swimmer/accounting major can enter, you decide to finally jog up to them. “Wait!! I’ll take him. This is my boyfriend and I can worry about him from here! Thank you!” You wrap your hands around his arm and gently tug him away from the somewhat relieved coffee-worker. 

In a confused and exhausted stupor, the male groans, “(Y-N), how the hell did you get here? I almost got in and you ruined it!” 

Rolling your eyes, you explain, “Sweetie, don’t bother the nice Starbucks employees. They want to go home too.” 

With his arm in yours, you steer him towards your dorm building. He teeters a bit from the lack of sleep and screeches to a halt, “But my essay!” From yourself to the earlier horrified baristas, it is clear to all that Toma takes his studies seriously to the point of forgoing his shame and health. 

Observing the dark blotches underneath his eyes and his heavily wrinkled garments, you say, “I think you should eat properly first. I made some soup...And there’s internet at my dorm.” 

When his fatigued orbs lighten and he leans more towards you with his laptop case in tow, you know that he’ll be fine. 

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Kenzo Yasukawa from After School Affairs

7. Use all forms of payment 

With midterms finally over, you and your boyfriend decide to visit the mall to celebrate. Walking hand-in-hand, you air out your grievances over how one of your professors grade when Kenzo abruptly starts walking faster. 

In his towering height, he manages to tug you with ease towards a nearby gamestore. His breathing is suddenly irregular as he presses his free hand against the business’s glass, amber optics locked on a particular ninja and robot-themed poster. 

“I can’t believe it released today. I have to get it.” He’s practically talking to himself as he marches into the store, you trailing behind in slight bewilderment. 

Making a bee-line to the wall of feudal Japan and mecha-accented items, his hand darts out to snatch a game off the shelve. As if suddenly remembering your presence and ongoing date, the blonde grins sheepishly. “Aww sorry, I’ve been waiting for Robot Ninjas 3 forever!” 

The game title makes you cringe, but you only nod in understanding. As his partner, you accept his peculiar tastes. 

After a brief wait in line, he steps up to pay with you at his side. Exchanging cordial pleasantries with the cashier, the aspiring pre-medical student fishes out his wallet and starts to produce various forms of payment. He places a random stack of dollar bills on the counter, then slides out his cards. 

Without missing a beat, he shoots a cheery smile with closed eyes and asks, “Is it okay if I pay $16 in cash, do $30 on debit, and pay the rest from my credit card?” 

You feel your heart hammer in your chest for your boyfriend and want to help him pay, but know that he wouldn’t want that. Suppressing your urge to pay, you force yourself to watch what happens next. 

When the employee hesitates, Kenzo’s eyes flutter open and seem strained as he explains in a low voice, “I’m sorry, but I’m dirt poor right now because I just bought a $150 MCAT prep book and have been waiting for this game for years.” The normal liveliness and peace in his amber stare dies out and his mouth twitches. 

You nearly lose it when the cashier suddenly nods and says, “Dude, same. I got you.” Then, he proceeds to enter in the different payments into the POS system before seeing you off warmly as you both leave. 

Turning to your boyfriend, you peck him on the cheek and say, “Why don’t we go back to the apartment so you can play and I’ll order us some pizza?” You casually include your offer of getting dinner. 

His eyes crinkle with joy and he wraps his arm around your shoulder to press a kiss against your forehead, “I’ll go easy on you for one round then.” 

[wongas--frank]

You saw NICK BRAUN in London recently? It was actually FRANK LONGBOTTOM, the two share a resemblance. Apparently HE is CURIOUS and KIND but can also be NAIVE and AWKWARD. They are TWENTY-THREE and were sorted into HUFFLEPUFF. The PUREBLOOD works as a CHEF-IN-TRAINING FOR THE LEAKY CAULDRON, lives in LONDON and is affiliated with NEITHER SIDE. (pat, 21+, pst, she/her).

rising croissants, flour-covered hands, wide bowls of dough, carefully iced cakes, caramelized sugar on a crème brûlée cracked by a small silver spoon, golden brown perfectly baked pastries

Full Name: Frank Seamus Longbottom – It’s a tradition to carry the name of a beloved who has passed and he was named after his grandfather, the famed Auror. The name Frank has been passed down several generations, and Frank Seamus is actually Frank Longbottom VI, but the regnal number isn’t that important… unless you’re Augusta. But Augusta didn’t have to do much to sell Neville on the name. As for his middle name, Seamus and Dean played a clean game of rock, paper, scissors; Neville can be seen teasing Harry and Ginny for taking the idea and naming Lily Luna after a family friend.

FC: Nick Braun

Age: 23

School: Hogwarts

House: Hufflepuff – Frank wasn’t disappointed; his mother Hannah Abbott was a proud Hufflepuff and he knew how to get into the kitchens before he was even on the train to Hogwarts. Of course, Cedric Diggory was one of the most famed Hufflepuffs in recent history, so his legacy left an imprint on Frank.  

Country of Origin: United Kingdom

Current Place of Residence: Leaky Cauldron, London. Because the Leaky Cauldron is the gate between magical and muggle worlds, Frank has been exposed to all sorts of new and interesting ideas growing up. He’s living (rent free) in the Leaky Cauldron since having to move back in with his mother. It’s not quite like living with them, but he does act a little ungrateful about it.

Please list any canon relatives: 

Father: Neville Longbottom

Mother: Hannah Abbott

Grandparents: Frank and Alice Longbottom, both at St. Mungo’s

Great-grandmother: Augusta Longbottom – because someone has to keep up Longbottom Estate, and that hat collection has to live somewhere

Career: 

Current: Frank’s definitely figured out what he wants to do already, he knows what he’s good at and what he’s passionate about. His potions marks are much better than his father’s and he’s built an arsenal of knowledge regarding the food industry and Herbology because of how he grew up. But Frank has wandered for a few years trying to live on his own and seeing how successful he could be without anyone’s help. Originally, Frank had lived in Hogsmeade and worked for Madame Puddifoot’s Tea Shop—so having to go back to living with his mother kind of feels like giving up.

Next steps: He doesn’t think of himself as a chef, but he would love to be one someday. He learned to make much more highbrow meals since his time out of school and he’ll do his own twists on them upon request. Call it the Leaky Cauldron’s  secret menu; just ask for Frankie’s special that day.

Eventual: Frank thinks Hannah wants him to take over the Leaky Cauldron someday, so he’s certainly got mixed feelings about being in that sort of leadership position. What his mom does sounds so boring; it’s all numbers and paperwork and having to deal with the customer whose chicken was too dry. Let’s be real, Frank doesn’t want to manage—he wants to invent! Of course, it’s his dream to be in charge of his own restaurant someday; I can see him stepping up to be more responsible in the future (or finally getting the guts to really move on), but for now he’s young and he’s happy—let him play around before he has to properly grow up!

Affiliation: (subject to change after discussion with relevant players) Frank is neutral. However…

Dumbledore’s what now? He may have been close with the Potter-Weasleys growing up (which will need to be discussed, especially with Alice and James), but having been sorted in Hufflepuff and off doing his own thing for a while in Hogsmeade, I can see him being generally out of the loop as far as Dumbledore’s Army. Maybe his sister will get him to join or one of the members makes a recommendation to James!

A possible target? As someone who’s purposely trying to mingle anything muggle to the magical community—even something out of a cookbook—definitely puts him in danger he’s probably not even aware of. And Neville has worked hard to make sure that his kids live in a world where they don’t have to worry about this. However, Frank can be rather lackadaisical as far as his own safety, not because he’s a risk-taker so much as he’s thoughtless with his actions.

Significant Other: Frank wishes he had a significant other; it does get lonely sometimes since it feels like everyone his age is either hooking up or getting married—hell, his sister even has kids! Frank’s not desperate or anything and he’s not the one to say that no one gets him, but it would be nice to make a connection that isn’t just a customer over the counter.

Sexuality: Frank thinks he’s a little of everything—he’s definitely pansexual, but he doesn’t like labels. He’s not a hopeless romantic, but he’s crushed a little on everyone at some point. He’s got a relatively steady history of dating and he takes breakups real hard. But he definitely knows how to take care of his partners in ways that aren’t just baking them morning croissants.

Any HC’s: l mean… here’s what I got… idk if these count and these will have to be updated as the game progresses!

Grind – to process solids by hand or mechanically to reduce them to tiny particles. Frank wasn’t sure when he started working at the Leaky Cauldron. Sure, Hannah and Neville had a small house elsewhere—but taking over ownership of the Leaky Cauldron meant that every day was ‘take your kid’ to work day. And it wasn’t like the wizarding world knew what child labor laws were.

Steep – to extract color, flavor, or other qualities from a substance by leaving it in water just below the boiling point. Frank was lucky that Neville had his own greenhouse; he had an early exposure to Herbology and received top marks in school. This slight advantage helped him in Potions, though Neville calls his son fortunate to not have learned potions under Severus Snape. And Frank learned all of the Leaky Cauldron’s classic recipes the longer he worked there; some of them were from Hannah but many were from previous chefs who didn’t mind that Frank was there—he was much less of a bother than his sister.

Lukewarm – neither cool nor warm; approximately body temperature. Neville and Hannah taught Frank to be nice to his sister, but sometimes he had better things to do, like exploring every nook and cranny of Diagon Alley. But it had become a bit of an issue when his sister could get her way with a bat of an eyelash. He’s not resentful of his sister so much as he’s not one of those people she can take advantage of.

Skim – to remove fat or foam from the surface of a liquid. The Leaky Cauldron has a broom closet with an extension charm on it, which functions as a room for Lost and Found. Usually when Frank was forced to clean for closing, he had to turn in whatever was left behind by the patrons; he wasn’t ever allowed to keep any of it and he was always required to handle everything with dragon hide gloves—who knows what kind of cursed objects people drop! But mostly what he found were muggle items—odds and ends that he asked patrons about when it wasn’t busy, especially those were much more attuned to the muggle world.

Flambe – to flame foods by dousing in some form of potable alcohol and setting alight. One object left behind that Frank never forgot about was a muggle cookbook. He had learned from watching and listening, but not out of a book. There wasn’t any wand waving involved, no incantations that Frank had to try to remember—rather, just instructions and words that no one was familiar with. Sure, it made it into the Lost and Found, but that didn’t mean Frank couldn’t borrow it like a library book to try to decipher it.

Mince – to cut or chop food into extremely small pieces. There was a significant unlearning of gender inequity involved coming to Hogwarts—the attitude that his parents never meant to teach him, but he learned anyway from how his sister was treated. Frank didn’t distrust women nor did he think of them as inherently lesser—but he was quick to box people into gender stereotypes until someone finally called him out on it. And continued to call him out on it. Understanding why certain jokes were sexist and why that was wrong was a difficult path, but Frank was willing to listen. He didn’t want to make someone feel bad and it wasn’t their fault for being offended. Even now he feels like he’s being hyperaware of what he’s saying, but he tries his best.

Grill – to cook on a grill over intense heat. With his high marks in Herbology and Potions, Frank could have been a healer. Instead those skills were used to bounce from café to café along Hogsmeade, never quite deciding where to work until Madam Puddifoot wanted to expand her menu. He had some creativity there, but the reality was that Frank couldn’t afford to live on his own with what the tea shop was willing to pay him; he had a hard decision to make between his dream job or his financial security, which was eventually made for him once the eviction notice was posted at his door.

Blend – to incorporate two or more ingredients thoroughly. Even if he is a little bitter about moving back with his Frank takes advantage of being part of the family business: he’s able to experiment with new menu items and recipes he tries from muggle cookbooks, with a full kitchen at his disposal—even if it’s during afterhours. Of course, there’s a bit of a learning curve going from muggle processes to magical means (what the hell does preheat to 200° mean?) but Frank knows what’s good and what isn’t. He’s not afraid to give a muggle twist on magical favorites (or vice versa).  He doesn’t announce his creations or anything (after all, he’s just an amateur!) but it does give him pride when someone pays attention to him talking about it and actually asks to try something he’s created.

Glaze – to cover with a thin, glossy icing. A part of him wants to give the Leaky Cauldron a bit of a culinary makeover; most of the classics, in his opinion, are old and tired. But he’s stuck—perhaps Frankie’s special is the best way to do that, especially since Hannah doesn’t know about this secret menu. Not that she wouldn’t be supportive, but she’s the type to stick with something tried, true, and traditional that Frank just wouldn’t want to go through the trouble of convincing her that the restaurant has needed an update since the 1800s. Besides, he dreams of owning his own restaurant, but he can’t quite imagine himself running the Leaky Cauldron—proposing a change like this would really nail the coffin closed.

[phantoms-lair]

Roll of the Dice Part 2

Previously on Roll of the Dice

Next Time on Roll of the Dice

~~~~

(26 years ago)

“Geeze, Lance, People weren’t kidding when they said this place looked creepy,” Lewis swung his flashlight around the attic.

“Been abandoned as long as anyone can tell,” the shorter fourteen year old commented. “No one ever comes here so, it’s you know...”

A good place to hide. A place he could be where no phone call could force him to go ‘home’. Lewis had been in a few group foster homes in his time, but the one in Tempo was one of the worst. Locks on the fridge, locks on the cupboards. Personal belongings were confiscated, and only given back as ‘rewards’ - or given to other children to reward them.

The one bright spot for Lewis was he had a really good friend. No one had listened to Lance’s complaints any more than his own. (“If it was that bad, someone would have done something, dear.”) but Lance believed him and did what he could to help. Lewis had behaved well enough to get his few personal effects back, then kept them in a backpack that went home with Lance every night so they couldn’t be taken away.

Ms. Rubenseitz was furious when she discovered she’d lost that bit of power over him, (Lance of course denied the backpack existed when asked) and made up for it by severely limiting his time out of her sight. No matter where they went, is was soon followed by a phone call demanding he returned home.

So here they were, in a place with no phone, where no one would find him to pass on the message. Oh, he had no illusions both he and Lance would be in trouble when they went back. But for now, they were safe.

“It’s weird, isn’t it. There isn’t even dust on the floor.” And it was the attic, the place where even lived-in homes had dust.

“If we find weird cult symbols in blood, we’re out. Until then, we assume it’s good.” Lance continued, starting suddenly when he heard what sounded like ominous piano music. Turning towards the noise, Lance tripped.  “Not a word, Lew. Not one word.” As he began to pick himself up, he noticed the corner of something sticking out from a sheet. “Hello, what do we have here?” He pulled the piece of carved wood clear to examine it.

“What do you have there?” Lewis’s flashlight entered the living room. “Looks like some kind of board game.” The word Multeefecte was carved onto the front in large Gothic letters, monsters adorning each corner. “Wanna play?”

“You want to play a random board game we found in the attic of a supposedly abandoned house?” Lewis arched an eyebrow.

“Why not, it’s something to do, isn't it.” He picked up the wooden box the game was in.

“Fine, but at least let’s go downstairs where they had chairs and tables.”

“Good idea,” They headed down to the living room.  Lance opened the box which contained a board with a crystal ball at the center. He opened a flap in the case, but there was only two dice inside. “Guess the pieces go lost, oh well.” He dropped the dice on the board, where they rolled an eight.

“Lance look!” The light of Lewis’s flashlight revealed an orange figurine rising from the starting position.

“Must be magnets. I’d love to see what the inner workings are.” Between the sound effects and the pieces it must have a bunch of fascinating mechanisms. Lance was even more pleased when the crystal ball lit up and words appeared.

THESE FLYING RODENTS ARE QUITE RUDE

ANYTHING WITH A PULSE IS THEIR FOOD

“That sounds...ominous.”

“It’s a horror-themed game, of course it is. Your turn.”

“Lance I really don’t know. This is creeping me out. And I think I hear something in the chimney.” Lewis worriedly shined the light where he thought he heard high pitched noise.

“Just squirrels, everyone has them.” Lance passed the dice to Lewis who rolled his eyes.

“Fine.” Keeping his eye on the chimney, Lewis rolled a seven. A purple figurine appeared and moved

NOT EVEN DEATH IS AN ESCAPE

FOREVER YOU DWELL IN A WRATH’S SHAPE

“Okay, that does sound ba-”

“Lance, I don’t feel so well.” Lewis’s voice was faint, Lance could barely hear him. “I want to go home.”

With those words, all thoughts of cajoling him to stay were gone. “It’s okay, Lew. We’ll head back.”

“I can’t breathe.” Lewis collapsed to the floor, gasped shallowly. “Help.”

“LEWIS!” Lance ran over to him an unbuttoned his vest and undid his ascot, but nothing seemed to help. “Lewis stay with me.”

“Can’t...see.” he gasped. “Lance...scared.”

“This is scary, but you’ll be fine, you’ll see, everything will be fine.”

Lewis let out a rattled gasp and ceased to answer. Ceased to breath. His eyes unfocused and became glassy.

Lewis was dead.

“No No NO,” This wasn’t happening. This couldn't be happening. Lew couldn’t be dead. Not just like that. Not for no reason. “Lewis wake up!” He shook the body but it remained silent.

Focused as he was, he didn’t know notice the noise in the chimney getting louder and louder. Not until an entire colony of bats burst forth, biting at Lance then latching on and drinking the blood they drew. Lance tried to knock them away from Lewis, only to notice they had no interest in him.

Anything with a pulse in their food. Lewis really was dead, wasn’t he? And if he died here too, Percy or Mom and Dad might come looking for him. He had to get out. He had to tell someone what had happened.

Bleeding from multiple places now, Lance made a break for the door, the bats following him, but many of them breaking off once outside to find easier prey.

There was no sound in the house, not until a timid voice called out “Lance?” 

Lewis blinked as he pushed himself up, only to find the room empty. “Lance where did you go?” Lewis picked up the flashlight where he had dropped it and scanned around the room. There was the board game, the sofa, and - Lewis screamed as he saw the dead body. His dead body. He backed away in shock, only to have his sight occluded when he backed through a wall.

With a yelp he fled. Dropping the flashlight he ran through the open front door and out of the house. He hadn’t gotten very far when he felt something yank him back. He tried again, pulling with everything he had to escape the house, but couldn’t make any headway.

“It’s okay, Lewis,” he told himself. “Lance will be back soon with an ambulance or something and we can get this straightened out, right? They’ll be able to fix me.”

And he waited. He wasn’t sure how long. He explored the house to distract himself. He studied every nook and cranny from attic to basement. Still, nobody came. The room he felt himself pulled to the most was the living room. As a result he’d moved his body down to the basement (Something he did his best to NOT THINK ABOUT afterwards).

It wasn’t until some other kids had tried to explore the place that he had realized the truth, realized Lance wasn’t coming back.  That realization damn near broke him. But he had to keep himself together. What if the newcomers found the game and tried to play?

Scaring them (and anyone else who came) off gave him a purpose. It helped keep him together. But when they were gone he couldn't help but dwell on the fact that Lance abandoned him. Had gotten to escape while Lewis’s life had ended.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been before he’d gone to stop another couple of explorers and one of the was Lance! He’d grown quite a bit (must have finally gotten that growth spurt he always claimed to be on the verge of), but Lewis would know that hair and those eyes anywhere (Even if the goatee was a bit more Percy’s style. Percy hated having his hair long, though). Seeing how much Lance had grown, how much time Lance had to grow, set a fire in him. There was some burning satisfaction that Lewis was still taller than him, ever without that time.

The girl (Who was she? Lewis had never seen her before.) was leading the way while Lance tried to get them to go back. Was he trying to spare her, or cover up what had happened before? Either way it didn’t matter. Lance wasn’t getting away scott free anymore. He’d roll the dice and have to deal with it, just like Lewis had. The cute girl and her dog shouldn’t get involved.

Then everything went wrong. Lance rolled the dice, but a new piece was put on the board. Why unless...horror gripped what would have been Lewis’s heart as he realized This might not be Lance. The Kingsmen had a very strong family resemblance on their father's side; what if he had grabbed a cousin or something? Someone visiting and not realizing what had happened in this house.

He had not only not prevented an innocent from getting involved, he had forced them to play.

The girl came back (When had she left?) and started yelling at him, demanding answers. She deserved them, but he need one of his own first. “What’s your name? Who are your parents?” He did know some of Lance’s Aunts and Uncles, after all.

If the first name was a horrifying confirmation, the second answer floored him. “Percy?” This was Percy’s kid? Surely it hadn’t been that long? But that tall scrawny build reminded him of Dorene alright. In fact he was a perfect mix of Doreen and Percy.

His anger at just how long he’d been abandoned warred with his guilt over having gotten an innocent involved. Guilt won upon the discovery that not only was Percy dead, but the person -Arthur- was apparently an orphan, just like himself.  This was so wrong, on all accounts. How could he have messed up this badly?

The girl’s (understandable) lashing out made things worse, since she grabbed the dice to throw at him and now she was a player too.

He didn’t want to admit how foolish he felt for not looking at the instructions, especially considering how much time he’d spent in the same room as the game. He just hadn’t wanted to look at it or think about it. He was even less willing to touch it than that thing he was certainly not thinking about. But honestly it wouldn’t have done him any good. He’d need Lance to play, and Lance wasn’t coming back.

“Then we’ll bring the game to him,” Vivi said, closing the wooden box when Lewis brought up that objection. As much as she hated to admit it, the ghost was right about that. Lance was scared of this place. He certainly wouldn’t come because a ghost wanted to play a cursed board game.

“Except I couldn’t go with you,” Lewis crossed his arms a little more sulkily than he would have liked. “I’ve tried, I can't get very far from the house.”

Vivi pinched her nose. “Fine, come with us as far as you can, so we know where that is. We’ll have a better chance of bringing Lance there than all the way to the house.”

“Should we?” Arthur looked at the ghost with a mixture of apology and mistrust. “I’m sorry, but you’ve made it clear you hate my Uncle. Lance is the only family I have left. He took me in when my parents died, and I won’t repay that by luring him to someone who wants to hurt him.

Lewis felt like screaming. Not when he had finally found a way out. But as much as he wanted Lance punished, he knew he owed Arthur for how he acted and getting him involved with the game. And if Arthur had no other family... No, not even revenge on Lance Kingsmen would make him condemn someone to Ms. Rubenseitz. Especially not someone he already owed a debt to.

“I won’t promise to treat him with any kindness, but I won’t attack him either. All I wanted for him to do was play that game and we’re making him do that anyway. I want this over as much as you do. If the game ends, I might be able to move on from here.” In the back of his mind there was the teasing hope, but he couldn’t let himself cling to it. The best he would let himself hope for it that he could rest in peace.

The disapproval on Vivi’s face cracked, ever so slightly. She didn’t want to feel sympathy for this ghost. But she’d dreamed of being a paranormal investigator and helping ghosts move on. And if he really was being kept by a curse, how could she not try to dispel it.

Arthur looked at the front door. “I still don’t like the idea of Lance getting involved. But if that fog is really everlasting, it could cause who knows how many accidents.”  He sighed, “Let’s go.”

“Hold on, I want to get something.” Lewis floated to the cabinet under the staircase and pulled out a now worn purple backpack. At least he’d have his stuff while he waited for Lance. “Now we can go.”

Vivi carried the game, Mystery by her side. Lewis floated after them a little ways back. At least until Arthur pulled a device out of his pocket and started pressing buttons.

“What’s that?” Lewis asked, unable to restrain his curiosity at something new.

“My phone?”

“That’s a phone? How does it work without being plugged in? Why is it so small?”

“It doesn't need to be charged - oh right, I guess cell phones weren’t a thing when Dad was in High School. It connects like WiFi, no wait, that wasn’t a thing either. Okay.” Arthur thought for a moment. “So you know how remote control cars use a signal from the controller? Cell Phones can use signals like that to connect to large towers, which are connects to phone lines, so you can make a call from anywhere as long as you have a signal. As the technology got better, we started being able to access more and more. Like this program shows our location over a map of the roads in the area, so we can make our way back even if the fog keeps us from seeing too far in front of us.”

“Wow,” Lewis whispered. That was like something straight out of Star Trek. “And what’s that?” he pointed to the image of what looked like a dog with tiger stripes standing off the side of the road.

“That’s, er, a Growlithe.” Arthur seemed a little embarrassed to answer that.

“Pokemon Go? You’re seriously navigating our way out with Pokemon Go?” Vivi chuckled.

“Come on Vi, the maps are just as good and those eggs aren’t going to hatch themselves.”

“Eggs?” By now Lewis was completely baffled.

Arthur tried to explain the game to him, the girl (Vi, he supposed) finding it hilarious.

“Okay, how far are we from you’re stopping point.” Vivi hated to interrupt, but she didn’t want the ghost smacking into a wall of something. Out of the house and away from the topic of Lance, he acted perfectly normal, if you could ignore the floating. Arthur even looked like he was having fun explaining the cell phone and Pokemon to him.

Lewis looked up and tried to get his bearing in the fog. It was hard to see, but still- “We’ve passed it. I’ve never been able to go out so far before. Maybe, do you think the game is letting me go further since it’s going to be played?”

“Possibly,” The two living humans jumped, not used to Mystery being able to speak. “But I think there’s a far more likely solution. You always assumed you were bound to the house. What if it was more to something in the house?” He glanced meaningfully at the wooden box in Vivi’s hands.

The game. The game that had killed him. The game that was the centerpiece of the one room he felt most compelled to be in.

“You mean if I had just picked up the game I could have left anytime?!”

“It’s only a theory,” Mystery said with the certainty of knowing it was more than a theory, but not wanting to set off the ghost.

Lewis took a few unnecessary breaths. No, this was probably for the best. If he’d known he could leave he might have taken revenge on Lance, and he needed Lance to set him free by playing the game.

“At least we don’t have to come back after we find Lance,” Or ever. “So seriously, what’s so special about Pikachu?”

~~~~

(Also, Arthur and Vivi are fifteen in this, Lance and Lewis were 14 when their adventure happened)

[ciathyzareposts]

Missed Classic: Asylum – (Almost) Lost (My Mind)

by Will Moczarski

Med Systems Marathon Overview: (a) 1980 Summary (b) Reality Ends (1980) (c) Rat’s Revenge / Deathmaze 5000 (1980) (d) Labyrinth (1980)

Map of the World

My next session is devoted almost exclusively to mapping. I try the silver key, the brass key and the inmate with all of the doors and get caught several times because only guards are allowed in the offices, I leave too many doors open or I walk into a trap. The offices are not even recognizable – whenever I go to the northeast (I assume) corridor, that’s apparently where they are. I soon figure out that wearing the guard’s uniform lets me walk that corridor unharmed but I don’t find anything new apart from four more doors I cannot seem to open. The inmate can pick one of the locks there but it’s only a trap: “Come in! Lobotomy time!” says a voice from the inside, ending my game once more, telling me: “You are now very calm.”

Am I really? I wish! There’s another obstacle posed by my friend, the lock-picking inmate. Whenever I start feeding him cigarettes at varying rates, he will turn on me and call the guards, that little traitor. After a while I notice that the building is somewhat asymmetrical, consisting of five corridors in the main part and a small loop in the east (I assume). The five corridors link into one another, making it impossible to map the construction by using generic tiles. I painfully redraw the whole map and try to make it fit somehow but maybe it’s just for the best to let the corridors coexist without linking them to some kind of non-functional structure. Or could it be…a pentagram? That seems likely but so far I cannot really get it to work. I’m not the cartographer I thought I was, obviously. At least I find a new room with another inmate. An ugly face appears at the grate and when I let the other inmate (my chain-smoking friend) pick the lock, he tells me that I sure am ugly and offers me his glasses. The glasses, however, turn out to be a novelty nose. I imagine something along the lines of the nose glasses from Zak McKracken and a hundred thousand junk stores.

As I don’t seem to be able to discover anything else, I set out to mapping the maze. This poses a problem as I’ve already hit the inventory limit (although the screen doesn’t look like I should have) and need to decide what I want to take with me. Because I get pushed into the maze with no means to go back, I need to carry everything I might need. I decide to leave everything that I’ve used at least once already – the hand grenade, the newspaper, the coat – but still cannot carry all of the keys. I’ll have to gamble a little more, but maybe I’ll see what I would have needed once I’ll need it.

What I get for being nosey.

Horrible Mazes

And it’s back to mazes. While Deathmaze 5000 and Labyrinth consisted only of those, Asylum has so far provided a more attractive framework. The maze proper is endowed with all of the niceties of its predecessors, as I will soon discover. Mapping this beast is nothing short of frustrating, and it doesn’t take long until I feel that maybe I belong in an asylum after all. The starting section is not too bad. I can map a small area but then I hit an invisible wall in the middle of a corridor. SPLAT! At least it’s not an invisible guillotine this time, and I get a chance to work on this puzzle. As my inventory is rather empty at this point of the game, it’s simply a matter of trial and error. And pretty soon I attempt to wear the novelty nose, as I still remember distinctly how the inmate described it as glasses. Maybe the mix-up is really down to a bug and the glasses will allow me to see something I otherwise wouldn’t be able to see? And that’s exactly what happens. Wearing the nose makes me see a small keyhole of sorts. It appears in the middle of nowhere but I won’t complain. Unfortunately, none of my keys seem to fit. Should I have brought the pin from the grenade? I resort to some more trial and error before restoring again, and I get lucky although I’m none the wiser for it. PUT PEG IN HOLE makes the invisible wall disappear and a box containing a bucket appears in front of me. The game also tells me that the mirror disappeared and that the water can flow freely now. What mirror? What water? Is it inside the bucket? Was it…oh right, the vanishing cream. Despite all these twisty little passages looking alike, I didn’t even think that the invisible wall might in fact be a mirror. Did I shove the peg up my own novelty nose then? If so, why did it accomplish anything? Am I doomed to be an invisible ageless, faceless, gender-neutral, culturally ambiguous adventure person forever?

The next part of the maze is much more challenging. I find a spot that feels like a teleporter but I can’t put my finger on the point where it actually begins to drop me elsewhere. Also, I don’t know anything about the dimensions of this maze – Labyrinth and Deathmaze 5000 were more outspoken about the features of their levels, if I remember correctly. Another obstacle is a revolving door. This one at least notifies me of its presence, and it seems to take me both ways which is a relief. Still it makes me erase and redraw more often than I’d like to. The only item I come across (apart from the bucket) is a bat. I assume that there will be monsters in the asylum, too.

Beyond the revolving door

After some more careful mapping, I come across a note. When I read it, it tells me to LOOK UP! If I try to do that, a piano comes falling out of nowhere and I’m dead. This is one of the many slapstick elements that the previous two games also contained – they appear to be part of the Med Systems corporate identity, or maybe William Denman was just a huge Laurel & Hardy fan in the 80’s. Not too far from the note I find some flies. My hands are full although I don’t seem to have reached the inventory limit yet which is odd. Looking at the inventory screen, I notice that there are three types of items: I carry the BAT in my hands, almost everything else in my pockets, and I can wear the coat and the nose (“being worn”). If I drop the bat, pick up the flies and then pick up the bat again, I can get around this little problem. Maybe it’s even supposed to be realistic: While my hands are full, (carrying the bat) I cannot pick up anything else.

Moving on, I spend some time figuring out how the revolving doors work. It seems that they are actually made up of four tiles and revolve both ways. If I enter from the left, I end up on the other side of them; I can also turn back which is unusually convenient for this game. Entering the doors in the same direction twice gives me access to a new area containing lots of corridors, nooks and crannies as well as a ball. As I already have the bat, this seems consistent. I really hope that there won’t be any Zork references like, say, a baseball maze. The section doesn’t contain anything else but the last part of the maze is packed with action. When I enter the revolving doors from the right I can reach the northeastern quadrant of my map which I was previously unable to enter or explore. Moving east, a “carpenter builds a wall” just behind me. Isn’t it enough to be shoved into the damn maze, game? Do you have to wall me in, too?

As if this wasn’t challenging enough, suddenly I’m being chased by a murderer. I can’t attack him, evade him, talk to him or bribe him. Because this is slapstick country, I find the solution quite easily: showing him the note (just giving it to him is not enough!) prompts him to look up, and he is crushed by a piano. How I manage to jump away without jumping away, I don’t know. At least the murderer is out of my hair. Also, he conveniently drops an axe in front of the newly built wall. Watch out, carpenter: Heeeeere’s Johnny!

A reference to The Shining makes sense in a 1981 game, as the film was released the previous year. However, the parser refuses to be my film buff companion: hitting the wall with the axe does not work, neither does hacking it. I have to BREAK the wall with the axe which seems a little odd but at least I’m not stuck anymore. Searching the section nets me a hat and a steel key. Could this be my ticket to freedom?

Indeed it is. After mapping the final sector (and not finding anything else), I go back to the entrance and unlock the door with my new key. I get back to the asylum proper but there may be some new doors I previously wasn’t able to unlock. As I’ve got way too many items at this point, I once again put the ones I’ve already used into my stash house. Let’s see where the steel key will take me!

We’re stealing the towels!

If all of this seems straightforward, just take a look at my session time after you’ve finished reading this blog post – this game is HARD and I have omitted much of my trial-and-error gaming. Also, my save feature did not work up to this point. Treading through the whole first maze every time I die slowly became unbearable, though, and trying another emulator finally gave me the opportunity to use the game’s original save feature.

The steel key lets me access seven new rooms. In the first one, there is a guru meditating. He uses the mantra “Omm!” which is nice and all but I’m trapped. I try to MEDITATE, SAY OMM(!), use my items, turn around, LEAVE ROOM, you name it. Nothing works, so I have to restore. The next room is empty. The third room has an inmate called Renfrow who mutters that he needs flies. Wow, what an easy puzzle! Giving Renfrow (is this an anagram? CAPs if someone finds out!) the flies works, too, but he just eats them and gives me nothing in return. How do I know that he eats them? Just wait! Instead of dropping an item, Renfrow gives me a hint: “The room next door…” Ahhh, the empty room? I know: something must have materialized over there, right? Is that my reward? I take a heartening (but shortish) stroll there and get pushed from behind (by Renfrow?), then that little traitor calls the guards. “Never trust one who eats flies!”, the game says. Right. As I was curious, I played through the whole scenario again, and figured out that if I lock Renfrow in his room before heading to the empty room, nothing happens. This is a very nice touch but I’m still not getting my flies back. Let’s take a look at those other rooms.

The fourth room has a fisherman called Blake who is wearing boots. That description is somewhat suspicious and I get the sudden urge to steal Blake’s footgear. If I politely ask Blake whether he might give it to me, to my surprise the parser understands me perfectly: “What may I have for them?”, drones the merry fisherman. Impressive! As I have no idea what a fisherman who’s locked up in an asylum might be in dire need of, I decide to brute-force it and simply offer everything I have to the man. And I will be really glad I did that, too. After my encounter with Renfrow (and the game’s snarky comment) I normally wouldn’t have given the flies to anyone else but that is actually the solution. Indoor fly-fishing, I suppose – am I correct, Blake? Whatever the reason, Blake drops his boots immediately, wraps them in a nice box for me to pick up and I can strut around in them for eternity. Well, at least for a few in-game minutes.

The fifth room has water pouring out but the boots provide a firm grip, saving me from being washed away. This was probably supposed to be a puzzle that I solved accidentally. My reasoning was that the inventory limit may be linked to the items’ categories (in hands, in pockets, being worn) and that wearing the boots might save a slot. I restore to see what happens if I enter the room with no boots on, and the water still comes pouring out but now I am being washed away. With the boots, I can safely enter and retrieve an “ancient key”. Could this be for the guru? Maybe it’s not a physical key but some kind of koan?

After leaving the room, I am instantly confronted by three figures – at least, that’s what the parser tells me. I am informed that Exodor, lantern and burro are seeking truth. Good for them, right? They follow me everywhere and at first I think that I can’t interact with them in any way. It seems that this is another set-piece situation and I have to solve this puzzle to progress. I get the first hint by examining the three of them. When I start with Exodor, the parser comes up with its standard “nothing special” reply. Examing the lantern and the burro is more informative, as the game tells me that I am not carrying either one of them. So they are actually items in search of the truth? That’s odd.

It takes quite some time for me to realize that I need to bring out my inner Ultima IV player to get through this one. The solution is to return the stolen boots, at least that’s what I think might be the reason behind this. If I give them to Exodor, he drops the burro and the lantern and vanishes in the air. I always like me a good lantern in an adventure game but what is this burro? I know that it’s the Spanish word for donkey but am I really picking up a donkey? Did I unwittingly stumble into the Bloody Lip on Woodtick? (I know, that was a monkey.)

Not a mirror. Can’t you see the difference?

Two more rooms to go: the first one is pitch dark and I can’t light my lantern. The second one leads to a maze that seems identical to the first one. I start mapping and get stuck in front of the very same mirror, so I restore and bring my novelty nose. That trick does not work here, though, and I lost my peg in the first maze anyway. This is strange – why would they lock the same maze behind two different doors needing two different keys? Or does it turn into another maze after I have solved another puzzle? I decide to tackle the guru first. The game appears to unlock parts of its storyworld everytime I find a new key, so I should probably solve all of the open riddles before moving on. I also try the ancient key on the remaining doors, but that one doesn’t fit anywhere. As it’s so ancient, maybe I’ll need it for the endgame.

The next part takes a LOT of time. I go over all of my notes again and try anything that seems remotely reasonable. After taking a long break, I read it all once more with fresh eyes and one thing that previously eluded me suddenly appears in a different light. Time and again, I kept coming back to the strange phrasing of Exodor, the lantern and the burro all seeking truth. Surely the lantern is an inanimate object but what if the burro really is a donkey? Who could help him to seek the truth? The guru, naturally. Handing the burro over to the guru actually works and the wise man turns out to be a fakir, too, giving me “nails for a bed” in return. Better than the asylum bunks, I suppose. At first I think that I still cannot exit the room but I am just disoriented by the darkness, and after a few turns I can finally leave.

Any more puzzles inside the asylum proper? Renfrow, maybe, but honestly I don’t think so; it may be time to see whether the maze has changed.

At least it wasn’t a banana that made the mighty Donkey Kong fall.

The maze to end all mazes

Spoiler alert: it hasn’t. Hence, I try everything with that stupid second mirror. Wearing the hat doesn’t work. Hitting the MIRROR does not work. Hitting the WALL does not work. Hitting the GLASS does not work, either. I try the same thing with the bat but – you guessed it – does not work. I play guess-the-verb for quite a while, poke the mirror, break the mirror, kick the mirror, you name it. I try to brute-force it by using (almost) every verb from the vocabulary. I also try to hit the ball into the mirror, throw the ball at the mirror, throw the ball at the wall and so on. After a while, my half-hearted attempt to hit the BALL with the bat … succeeds. Just like that. I curse so loud that a neighbour rings me up to ask if I’m okay. Oh brother, I’m not sure – I may be ready for the actual asylum.

Behind the “glass wall” which now shatters (oh, that’s what it was!) there is more mapping goodness. I assume that the second maze is the same size as the first one, meaning 20 by 23 tiles, and plan the map accordingly. I soon stumble across an anomaly that makes me suspect another teleporter. Apart from that, I find some gold, another wall is built behind me, I find some marbles and I encounter a gorilla. Nothing too bad, right? Right. The gorilla is not impressed by my bat and simply ignores me if I hit it with it. The nerve of that primate! However, he does not really attack me either, he just won’t let me through to whatever it is he is guarding. Having finished both Deathmaze 5000 and Labyrinth, I still remember that throwing things at foes is almost always a good strategy, and this one is no exception. After trying some more reasonable items, I finally throw the marbles and the gorilla slips, making himself vulnerable to my cold-blooded attack. Eat my unforgiving bat, you beast! (It actually took me a lot more time to figure out that I could hit him now that he’s not on guard but the story just works better cut short.)

Beyond the gorilla, there’s a copper key, presumably so I can leave the maze. But there are still some sections I haven’t mapped yet. I find two more puzzles, and both are set in very long corridors. One of them is a corridor of 11 squares containing some 20 doors. Upon entering the corridor, another worksome carpenter builds a wall behind me. For now, I am trapped here. If I enter one of the doors, I emerge into a twisty little passage with another door at the end leading back to the corridor. However, the doors don’t match up – this is a mini-maze. I set about mapping the entry points and the exit points but soon get confused as the newly-built walls make the two ends of the corridor look exactly the same.

The Door can see into your mind! The Door can see into your soul!

Adventure game trick #71 helps me out, of course, as dropping an item will provide a visible clue which side of the corridor I’m at. I systematically go through every door and don’t really get a feel for the maze, however that proves to be unnecessary. Behind the final door, there’s a box of matches (literally) and I can light my lantern now. The door at the end of the passage now takes me back into the maze proper but what about my item?! Oh no, I messed up. I’ll have to do it all over again but at least now I know the right door. Right? As I have last saved upon entering the maze, that is kind of a pain. And it turns out that I have to pass through every door instead of just the right one – there is no right one. This time, I duly pick up the dropped item (it’s the gold, in case you were wondering) before entering the last of the 20 doors – it works and I get out of there, matches and gold in hand, er, pockets.

The other puzzle is where I’m currently stuck. There’s another long corridor on the south end of the maze. If I move along that corridor for too long, a roadster races towards me and runs me down. There is nothing I can do. Of course, the obvious solution is to drop the nails and hope that the roadster will drive right into them. However, if I drop them in the middle of the corridor and turn the other way, the roadster simply approaches from the other direction. If I stay at one end of the corridor and drop the nails in front of me, nothing happens – I have to move to get the roadster’s attention. Now where is the gorilla when you need him? At present, I’m out of ideas. I’ll try to solve this puzzle for a couple more hours and if I don’t happen upon the solution, I shall consult the official hint sheet for the game. This is not a request for assistance (yet) but if you want to give me hints in rot13, I shall look at them if it turns out to be necessary. As I already have the ancient key (which doesn’t fit anywhere so far and sounds endgamish but maybe I’m wrong) I feel that the ending may not be too far away. I could be wrong, though, and Asylum could, like Labyrinth and Deathmaze 5000, contain three more mazes.

Evel Knievel got the best of me.

Session time: 8 hours Total time: 10.5 hours

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/missed-classic-asylum-almost-lost-my-mind/