#and Ass who has tried and failed to get with multiple people in my cult hgKJSH

[ratcandy]

one of my favorite followers in my cult was damned today this is so sad. goodbye anmerjul i literally just made you a disciple

[jovialbasementmusic]

What do you do with a brainwashed army of cult survivors?

At the end of Heart Part 2, Etheria still has a population of thousands of Horde Prime’s clones. This is going to be, putting it mildly, a Problem for the Etherians. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what happens to a cult follower when they are faced with conclusive evidence that their entire worldview was false, but you probably have some intuitive idea. Imagine if you said to a young-Earth creationist “Hey, here are multiple overlapping lines of evidence proving beyond reasonable doubt that life on Earth evolved over hundreds of millions of years,” or to a Scientologist, “Check out this evidence that L. Ron Hubbard was a fraudster who started a cult as a money-making racket!” You can probably guess that in each of those cases, the response is unlikely to be, “Goodness, I have been mistaken all my life! Thank you, kind friend, for relieving me of my false beliefs.”

As someone who’s left a cult, let me tell you, the clones are not all gonna react like Hordak or Wrong Hordak.

You might have heard of cognitive dissonance theory, but most people misuse the term, so I’ll quickly explain it. When humans encounter information which contradicts or disproves their deeply held beliefs, they experience psychological discomfort. This feeling sucks, and people will go to great lengths not to experience it. But when those beliefs are central to your identity and your place in the world, letting go of those beliefs also sucks, and people will go to even greater lengths not to do it. So they resolve the cognitive dissonance however they can. They might decide the person who gave them this information is an evil liar and lash out at them. They might find a way to convince themselves the information is in fact compatible with their beliefs after all, and then try not to think too hard about whatever mangled assemblage of the facts they have settled on, in case it falls apart under closer examination. They might modify their beliefs slightly to fit the facts ("Prime always said he would go away for a while before returning in triumph!"), and then maintain that this is what they thought all along.

As an aside, one of the landmark texts on cognitive dissonance theory is When Prophecy Fails, which tracks the actions of a doomsday cult after the world failed to end on their predicted date. Sure enough, the acolytes of this cult did not abandon their beliefs despite this pretty concrete evidence that they had been wrong. Instead, they started recruiting new followers as hard as possible. They tried to get social reinforcement for their beliefs (“This must be true—look how many people believe it!”) to help them cope with the empirical disconfirmation they’d just lived through. So yeah, this theory is highly applicable to cult behaviour. And Prime’s clones are quite definitely a cult.

So it’s fair to say that just because the Hive Mind is down and She-Ra has just kicked Prime’s ass into oblivion, the clones are not all gonna just accept that Prime is gone and his mission is over. Some of them are going to continue fighting, convinced that Prime is not really gone. Some will insist that their connection to the Hive Mind is still intact, and deliver messages as the word of Prime. At least one clone is going to claim to be the reincarnation of Prime himself, and begin recruiting followers. More likely, several clones will attempt this gambit, creating factions with names like The True Followers of Prime and The Glorious Servants of Prime. These factions will go to war with each other in service of their Prime (honourable, redeeming) against the enemy’s Prime (evil, destructive). As time goes on, these factions’ ideas about Prime’s teachings will diverge, providing new opportunities for conflict. If they’re allowed to go on long enough, probably some benign and progressive versions of Prime’s cult will emerge, teaching that Prime in fact existed to bring peace and freedom to the Universe, and that those warlike factions have strayed from the true path of Prime.

All of this gives the people in charge of Etheria a headache. Etheria doesn’t believe in retributive justice, and as brainwashed cult members, the clones have diminished responsibility for war crimes they committed while Prime was alive. So it’s fair to say they can’t kill them. But they also can’t just ship them all off to live unsupervised in a colony somewhere in case they radicalise each other and start another war. Sure, some of them will follow Wrong Hordak into accepting that Prime lied to them, and they will find meaning by travelling the universe, attempting to restore planets Prime destroyed. Some, like Hordak, will give themselves names and begin the agonising process of creating an identity for themselves outside of everything they ever thought was true. But what of the rest of them? They’re essentially adult children, ignorant of everything Prime did not want them to know. They also trigger PTSD flashbacks in a great many citizens of Etheria, who cannot look at them without remembering what they suffered under the Horde.

What do you do with that many brainwashed survivors? What does compassion and restorative justice demand? I don’t know if I’ll get around to writing this as a fic or not, so here’s the setup and you can let your imaginations take it where you like. I’m new to tumblr and to the spop fandom, so if you read this far I’d really appreciate a reblog. And if anyone else has already had similar ideas, I’d really like to read them.

[overthinkingkdrama]

Hi! So, I’ve just recently gotten into K-Dramas, and... I have a small issue, and that is though I LOVE them in the beginning, by the end they always disappoint me? Like, they start lighthearted and fun, and then by the end suddenly everyone’s in mortal peril, and I don’t care? Or they start all fantasy, and then it’s all about the romance in the end? So... Could you possibly recommend me ones that are good, or tone consistent, throughout? Please?

Hi! Thanks for dropping by for recs. These are some of my favorite asks. I just love going back through my watch list and finding dramas that fit a given criteria. It gets more fun the more dramas I've seen.

The thing about Kdramas that makes them a uniquely sticky beast is that many of them are live-shot week to week, at least for part of their run, and often the scripts are not fully written before filming begins. Popular Kdramas will also occasionally receive extensions which can cause further pacing and plot issues and (sometimes) cause a story to sputter out entirely. With the increasing prevalence of entirely preproduced dramas there's been an increase in overall drama quality and consistency in past years. That being said, Kdramas are still a decidedly mixed bag in terms of overall production quality. So it pays to either drop things with extreme prejudice if you stop enjoying them and watch widely, or to have a good drama filter friend (like me!) to give you vetted recs. As a genre a lot of the more "classic" feeling dramas have a tendency to start really light hearted and then swing super dramatic in the latter half. That's something I occasionally like, but lucky for you not all dramas are like that!

Your ask doesn't really tell me what genre of Kdrama most appeals to you, so I went through my list and tried to find you wide a variety of dramas that I think of as being well-paced and tonally consistent throughout. I've also tried to limit myself to dramas that I rated highly on MDL, although my primary criteria was "good and tonally consistent" so this list of dramas is kinda all over the map. But then, so are my tastes. Also, I kinda got the impression from your ask that you're not a fan of the uber-melodramatic side of kdramas and you want something a little more restrained and less soapy, so I tried to steer away from those more makjang dramas but did not entirely succeed, lol. I gave a couple sentences of description so you can more readily narrow down what you're interested in, and if you would like a more thorough review of the dramas some of these have full reviews on my blog which I went ahead linked where they exist.

Age of Youth: A well written slice-of-life ensemble drama about a group of 5 college age women who end up boarding together. There are a couple moments of high drama/trauma toward the end of the show that might be a turn off. But other than the finale the tone is consistent. 9/10 

Arang and the Magistrate: A dark fantasy fusion sageuk with a romance. I included this drama because it does a good job of developing the creepy worldbuilding and fantasy throughout. Though at points it can be a bit slow and the special effects are hella cheesy. 8/10

Argon: A tight, journalism driven suspense drama. Not always my genre but I found it very engaging, and at eight episodes it does not overstay its welcome. 8/10

Be Melodramatic: Another female-centric slice-of-life ensemble drama, though with an emphasis on fourth wall breaking comedy and clever dialogue. Very funny and heartfelt.  8.5/10

Cheese in the Trap: Maybe a controversial inclusion, but I very much enjoyed this drama. A slice-of-life college romance with psychological thriller elements. Some critics felt that the drama focused too heavily on the second male lead in the later half of the story, but YMMV. 8.5/10

Coffee Prince: Classic cross-dressing romance and still probably the best of its kind. A wonderfully nuanced and progressive handling of the subject matter, even after 13 years. Deals with serious subjects but doesn't go too melo with it. 8.5/10

Children of Nobody: My best of 2019, a dark psychological thriller about a child psychiatrist and a police detective who have to confront gray morality while attempting to track down a serial killer who only targets unrepentant child abusers. 9.5/10

Ex-Girlfriend Club: On the lighter side, a friends-to-lovers type romantic comedy about the writer of an autobiographical webtoon who has to figure out a way to get along with a group of his ex-girlfriends to make a movie based on his work. Only 12 episodes. 8.5/10

Go Back Couple: Also only 12 episodes (these shorter dramas tend to be better paced I find) a time-slip drama about a divorced couple who get the chance to relive their twenties and end up realizing they still have feelings for each other. This drama is both very funny and it had me bawling on multiple occasions. 9.5/10

Healer: A favorite of a lot of drama fans, this is an action-focused romance about an awkward soft boy with a secret identity as a highly skilled errand boy to criminals and an intrepid tabloid reporter who is his biggest fan. This drama is pretty tropey, but it's fun and the romance is great. 8.5/10

Hello Monster (aka I Remember You): A police procedural with a background love line about a criminal profiler looking for his lost brother and a detective looking for her father's murderer. One of my personal favorites. 10/10

Hit the Top (aka The Best Hit): A time-slip fish-out-of-water comedy about a 90s pop star who winds up in modern day Seoul and ends up befriending his biological son and meets old friends who his disappearance left in the lurch. 9/10

Incomplete Life (aka Misaeng): A realistic office drama that gave me real world work anxiety, focusing on a failed Go player who winds up an intern at a highly competitive shipping company and has to find a way to earn his keep even without the background and college education of his coworkers. Unbelievably well done ensemble drama. 9/10

Just Between Lovers: A romantic melodrama about two people whose lives were irrevocably changed by a tragic mall collapse that nearly killed them as children, meeting again as adults and finding comfort and healing in each other. A rough sit at times, but a wonderful love story with incredible acting. 9/10

Just Dance: High school, slice-of-life, drama about a dance club in a technical high school and a group of working class kids who reluctantly become involved in this club and befriend each other. Only 8 episodes (or 16 thirty minute episodes, depending on how you recon it.) 8.5/10

Life on Mars: Remake of the British show of the same name, this is a surreal time-slip police drama, about a forensics expert who gets shot in the head and wakes up in 1988. Or does he? He could also be dying on an operating table. It's hard to tell. Dark, suspenseful and trippy. 9/10

Matrimonial Chaos: An off-beat comedy about two dysfunctional couples who become inescapably mixed up in each others lives. One that's having a hard time getting divorced and another that's having a hard time getting married, and all the messy weird emotions that go along with that. This is another one of those, makes you laugh/makes you cry throughout dramas I have an affinity for. 9/10

Moment of Eighteen: A heartfelt high school drama about a straightforward but awkward loner who is forced to transfer to a new school, immediately earns the ire of a powerful student and experiences first love. Not my usual thing, but very well written with complex and likeable characters. 8/10

Mother: A cold and socially isolated woman becomes a temporary teacher and upon discovering one of her students is being severely abused and neglected, decides to pose as the child's mother and go on the run with her. Like Children of Nobody, this can be a bit of a rough watch because of the subject matter but it is very well done. 9.5/10

My Mister: A healing, human drama about a structural engineer in his 40s and a debt-ridden young woman in her 20s who end up crossing paths and saving each other from a miserable existence. My current all time favorite drama. Cannot say enough good things about it. Practically perfect in every way. 10/10

One Spring Night: A very restrained and naturalistic slow-burn romance about a woman who is about to get married and suddenly begins to question her relationship and a single father who had given up on love who find themselves irresistibly drawn to one another. 9/10

Prison Playbook: An ensemble slice-of-life drama centered on prisoners and correctional officers in their day to day lives. I find the actual het romances in this drama totally useless, but it's a large and talented cast playing a variety of lovable characters. 8/10

Psychopath Diary: Recent fave. A screwball black comedy about a mild mannered pushover who loses his memory and finds a diary that convinces him he's a psychopathic murderer, which gives him a huge boost of confidence from his new found identity, much to the chagrin of those around him and the actual owner of the diary himself. 8.5/10

Queen In Hyun's Man: A drama about a Joseon scholar who time travels to modern day Seoul and meets an actress who just landed a part playing the queen he served in the past. This one might be on the border line of too dramatic or tonally inconsistent, but it's got one of the most pitch perfect finales in Kdramas and the 45 min episodes keep it a snappy watch that doesn't drag or meander too much. 8/10

Reply 1988: A late 80s nostalgia drama about a group of families who all live off the same alley. Lovely family drama, comedy with a variety of romances. Long ass episodes especially later in the run, but I have rewatched the whole thing and I loved every minute of this show. 9.5/10

Save Me: A dark drama about a young woman who finds herself forced into a dangerous cult by her family, and is desperate to escape, and a group of 4 local young men who try to help her. One of the more unique and well done OCN thrillers. 9/10

School 2013: High school ensemble drama that launched a whole bunch of careers. In general I avoid school dramas (I know there have been three on this list so far, but those are like the only three, lol) but this show got me so invested in all these students and teachers. Also the two male leads are so shippable. 9.5/10

Secret Love Affair: A romantic melodrama about a piano prodigy from an underprivileged background who catches the eye of a married older woman and the two fall into a passionate affair. This drama involves cheating (obviously) but it's beautifully filmed and written and the music is to die for. 9.5/10

Signal: This is a supernatural crime thriller and a perennial favorite in the Kdrama community. An imbittered criminal profiler finds an antique police radio which allows him to speak with a police detective 15 years in the past, and uses this to crack cold cases and try to prevent brutal crimes from ever happening. 9/10

Six Flying Dragons: This one is a bit different from the others on the list, first of all because it's a more traditional historical drama, and secondly because it 50 episodes long. But it is so, so very good. And if you're looking for overall consistency in terms of storytelling and tone this drama has it in spades. 9/10

SKY Castle: A unique melodrama about a group of affluent competitive mothers who will go to any lengths to get they're children into the best medical schools, and a mysterious school coordinator with shady motives who gets brought in as a ringer to give them an edge. This show is kind of hard to sell but very entertaining and watchable. 7.5/10

Stranger (aka Secret Forest): The story of a stalwart prosecutor who, due to a childhood trauma is unable to feel the full spectrum of emotions, works with a bighearted police detective to root out corruption around a series of murders. This one’s rather cerebral and requires your full attention but the leads are amazing and there's a second season coming out this year I'm very much looking forward to! 9/10

The Nokdu Flower: Another sageuk drama about the latter years of the Joseon Dynasty surrounding three people who fall on different sides during the Donghak Peasant rebellion. Incredibly well written and involving historical drama. If you're not sure you're ready to commit to something like Six Flying Dragons, I think this would be another good entry point into the genre. The acting is amazing. 9/10

The Smile Has Left Your Eyes: A romantic melodrama and psychological thriller about a dangerous enigmatic young man on the cusp of becoming either a human being or a monster. He becomes involved in a fraught relationship with the sister of a police detective at the same time her protective older brother begins to focus on him as the prime suspect for a murder. High key moody and tragic if you're into that kind of thing (I am). 9/10

Touch Your Heart: On the complete other end of the drama spectrum, this show is pure unadulterated fluff, which managed to keep me giggling and swooning throughout the run, even though it's typically not my thing. An actress joins a law office as research for a role and falls for the ace attorney she's assisting. 8.5/10

WATCHER: Another OCN thriller about three different people with shady motivations who are connected to the same murder case and become involve in a corruption task force looking into dirty cops. One of those "trust nobody, everyone's a suspect" dramas with lovely complex characters and a fully engaging plot. 8.5/10

Sorry that got so out of hand! This is what happens when you don't give me a little more direction I guess. These are all dramas I quite enjoyed and I believe you will find something in there that will suit your fancy. This is a pretty accurate cross section of my tastes.

Happy watching!

Jona

[eldunea]

headcanon dump on pokéverse lotor’s grandpa ezra because i love this man with my whole soul

(this post refers to @aeshmedai​‘s unova. this post also operates with an alternate history of wwii.)

BIOGRAPHICAL NOTES

ezra was born in the 1920s, eldest son of the sincline family and next in line to becoming court alchemist. when he was a kid and young adult he was a major ass. he was born with pretty much everything--wealth, striking good looks, intelligence, talent, inheritance to the position of the harmonias’ court alchemist--except, that is, common sense. he was also born in a country where racism and other forms of discrimination didn’t exist, and didn’t want to think about the world outside unova’s borders because it was a hellish cesspool and he preferred to just exist in his utopian bubble where there were next to no problems. he was stuck-up and fairly ignorant--also lazy because his extreme intelligence meant everything came easily to him K-12. two things kicked his ass eventually though: one of them was college. the other was his future wife and lotor’s grandmother, malaea.

malaea was a native alolan student. this was still in the early-mid 1900s, when many parts of alolan culture were still outlawed. ezra saw her and was lovestruck at first sight--she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen and when he saw how smart she was he fell in love with her even further…she was legit the only person he’d ever met who he thought might be smarter than him and that made him crush hard. but malaea, even though she liked how (book) smart he was, was constantly annoyed by the cavalier attitude he had toward the real world’s problems. any time she brought up the problems facing the real world, his response was pretty much “don’t worry, unova’s going to fix that” and her response to that was always “THEN HOW COME THEY HAVEN’T FIXED IT ALREADY?!” 

they split over a conversation about the upcoming world war ii. malaea was worried there’d be a war and that fascist germany would start conquering countries. and ezra was just saying the same “don’t worry, it’ll be fine! unova’s going to stop them and this will all be over before you know it.” (narrator vc: it was not, in fact, over before he knew it.) he went on about how he had relatives in the army who would never let this injustice stand, how unbeatable unova’s knights were in battle and how if germany’s leader tried to pull anything she would quickly find her head crushed between the jaws of unova’s royal dragons. and that was it, malaea finally had enough. 

she yelled at him asking him how he could be so blind, and so stupidly patriotic. she said she felt like unova wasn’t actually as great as everyone said it was, because if it was so great at saving people, how come the world still had so many problems? and if unova couldn’t solve what was going on in so many other parts of the world, what guaranteed the possibility that unova could stop germany? ezra just told her she ought to shut up and be more grateful to the country that protected people like her because without unova, she’d never be able to live in a place where racism didn’t exist. malaea stood up and left, telling him she never wanted to speak to him again.

things slowly got worse and worse after she left. he started out as a lazy fuck when he first went to college because he thought due to his genius intelligence he could just breeze through his coursework and spend the rest of the time partying, getting drunk, playing hooky, performing as a coordinator and doing dumb stunts with his pokémon……until he failed out of college. his father not only kicked him out of the house and told him to get a job, he also removed ezra from the succession to the court alchemist position. he did not know where the heck to even start getting his life together because he had never truly learned how to be an adult--which is part of what drove him to join the army.

when the war came, it was at this point of his life that he had an awakening. he had felt so secure in the knowledge that unova was going to stop the rise of fascism and halt the crimes being done to jews and romani in europe that he hadn’t fully comprehended the fact that they would have to do something drastic to stop it. he had spent all his life idolizing unova because he thought it could save the world from any disaster, but he had never even attempted to wrap his head around the fact that in order to save the world you have to get off your ass and actually save it. so he finally did it. he got off his ass. he vowed to help save the suffering peoples of europe. and he enlisted.

he came back from the war a changed man. no longer was he this arrogant, pretentious little boy who wanted to just ignore all problems that didn’t directly affect him. on the battlefield and in the liberation of concentration camps, he had seen the horrors of the world…and most importantly, he had seen firsthand that unova was not in fact guaranteed to prevent all those horrors from happening. everything he thought he knew about himself and the world was completely shattered over the course of six long years 1939 - 1945, and he wrote about it in a memoir that left out not a single detail. 

malaea read his memoir, shocked that someone as immature as him had chosen to fight--and she was truly moved by the transformation that he had gone through. she got ahold of him and told him she was glad he’d grown so much, and that she wished to be friends again. ezra, who had loved her all this time (and even had said so in his memoir), was overjoyed. he didn’t expect anything from her romantically; he was just glad to be in her company again. as it so happened, the two of them fell in love. they married soon after reuniting, and had three beautiful daughters--the youngest of which was honerva, lotor’s mother.

while he was writing his memoir and reuniting with malaea, ezra began questioning where to take his life next. he had always “wanted to” be court alchemist, but the war made him question whether he actually wanted to be an alchemist or whether he was only attracted to the prestige and the trappings of the position. after going back to school (and not being a lazy little bitch while studying), he decided to major in psychology. he had felt the effects of the war in himself and seen it in others, whether they were fellow soldiers or concentration camp survivors that he had helped rescue, so now he saw his life’s path as helping them through their traumas. to the shock of everyone in his family, he refused the position of court alchemist and went on to become a therapist specializing in PTSD trauma. he is now one of the world’s leading experts on the topic, having written many books and papers on the topic that have been translated into multiple languages, and having given lectures all over the globe.

OTHER NOTES

his heritage is german jewish (ashkenazi), specifically prussian. and he is very white-passing, with blond hair and blue eyes. 

no one is sure how high his IQ is, because he has received the maximum score on each IQ test that he has taken. however, it is estimated to be at least 180.

he speaks seven languages: english, unovan, hebrew, yiddish, german, japanese and alolan.

in the army he rose to the rank of sergeant, and he won a medal of valor. he still has his old military uniform and his old gun, and he treasures them greatly.

he is honestly just? so good? so pure?? like help this may be the first genuinely good--not morally grey or otherwise fucked up--character i’ve written and might possibly maintain an interest in. he is 100% the wholesome influence that pokéverse lotor needs in his life like g o d i’m so glad i retconned his death because now i can write him being the good bean he is and AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

despite being 99 wholeass years old, he’s still physically young, and he will be for a while--as will some members of his family. this was because during wwii he was exposed to xerneas’ energy from a divine weapon crafted by the cult of valhallor (the pokémon universe’s version of the nazis). he often says that it’s such a great irony that the cult, which wanted to kill all jewish people, ended up extending the life of a jewish man and his family by potentially hundreds of years.

as mentioned earlier, he was a coordinator in his youth. he was trained in ballet and originally did a lot of appeals in the beauty and smart categories, but while he was in college for the second time, he found his true calling in cool/tough. outside of unova, everyone in those categories underestimated him in his debut, calling him a namby pamby pretty boy……until he fucking brought out his guns. most people in his position would have cut their hair and abused steroids to get bigger and look tougher, but he never did because he had a brand to maintain: he became known as the pretty boy who played with guns like it was no shit.

nowadays he doesn’t go onstage like at all, but he is pretty outspoken about harmful trends in the coordinating community--such as the trend of cool- and tough-specializing coordinators being total assholes in order to cultivate a persona.

[sigurdjarlson]

Reading the BoS terminals on the Prydwen give me so much joy

Maxson gives motivational speeches even in his emails

Maxson told Cade to prioritize mental health and treat it as a legitimate medical issue

He also mentions that he knows very well that being stuck on the Prydwen can be detrimental to your mental health

he ordered violent confrontation to be a last resort (synths being the exception..sometimes? You can bring em in his damn ship lmao) and to trade tech for food and medicine

Maxson uses caps when he’s angry

Maxson cares deeply for Ingram to the point he ignores Cade telling him she would be MORE equipped than any other soldier on the battlefield and instead keeps her on the ship because “Please don’t take this personally. I can’t afford to lose you. My decision is final. I’m sorry.”

Teagan hated seeing Ingram stomp around “with that damn scowl on your face” and specifically got some of her favorite candies to share with her

Quinlan is writing Maxson’s biography and being super creepy about it

People have literally made cults worshipping Maxson which Maxson hates and actively has then disbanded

Quinlan is a huge comic book nerd and tries to hide it but lowkey has scribes fetch him comics

Danse was diagnosed with PTSD but refused to take time off.

Ingram does too and was complaining about phantom pains where her legs were

Teagan apparently has fallen down drunk around the Prydwen multiple times and it’s happened so many times Cade has to order treatment now

Some soldier got an STD that apparently only comes from ghouls

Maxson had his coat specially made and Teagan was excited to give it to him

It was Rhys who had Neriah’s mole rats delivered (he said she owed him the bottle of whiskey she promised because they bite and shit everywhere) but he couldn’t get a pilot to take a Brahmin cuz they refused to put “that disgusting thing” in their vertibird

If you look at the recreational terminal downstairs Ingram says it’s for general use for the soldiers but it will be shut down if things “don’t stay clean”

in said terminal you can see several people writing to their families and then someone talking about going on feral hunts, and another person talking about who holds the highest record for jumping from a super high height in power armor. Someone jumped from trinity tower apparently but it destroyed their power armor so it didn’t count

..and other BoS crap I like.

if you listen to the soldiers talk you’ll hear them talk about tipping Brahmin with vertibirds

if you talk to the squires while with Dogmeat they’ll lament that they aren’t allowed to have pets (quinlan has a cat tho??)

they’ll also talk about how they want to be “a great soldier even greater than Paladin Danse”

Maxson apparently personally talks to them often cuz they quote motivational things he’s said to them a lot.

Danse mentions that he doesn’t agree with having kids on a warship but it’s not his place to question Maxson’s orders.

after BB the squires will be very upset and call Danse a liar/traitor. they just sound so sad and hurt UGH

Danse is referred to as well-liked by Maxson (it just made me smile and then..not smile cuz he was ordering Kells to hunt him down)

Maxson made Quinlan and co go over the data multiple times just in case there was some mistake (mostly mentioning this cuz I feel a little annoyed when people say it was on a whim)

if you tell Danse Maxson sounds like a lunatic he’ll tell you not to judge him by his words but to judge him by his actions cuz they’ll prove his sincerity. He’ll also frown at you for a long time afterwards. He gave my sosu the dirtiest look in an old playthrough.

if you fail missions Maxson will (aggressively) lecture you about the importance of accepting responsibility for your actions, learning from your mistakes and bettering yourself.

He refers to you as “my friend” if you make a comment about being impatient to get into the institute

If you kill Li he’s absolutely fucking furious with you. “She was misguided but she was never a traitor.” And before that he’ll bite your head off if you suggest they’re going to torture her

you can fuck up every mission and despite your major fuck ups he promotes your ass and looks at you all :D even after you joke about murdering him to take his place as elder

“hand on the shoulder moment” is how one of his audio files prior to you going into the institute is described and I’m not sure why I find that so amusing??

[hellyeahheroes]

Secret Empire: Top Ten DUMBEST Moments

As far as events go, Secret Empire is probably one of the worst. And considering both Civil Wars, Ultimatum, Amazons’ Attack and Countdown are events, that bar has been set pretty low. So as it finally comes to an end, seven months too late, let us showcase some of the worst decisions made during the creation of this story. They made it into such colossal trainwreck.

Honorable Mention: Dress Like a Nazi To Work Day

Out of all moronic decisions in this event, this was the one that irks me the most because it slipped into real life. Marvel tried to get their retailers to not only dress in Hydra shirts the day the book premieres but also dress their entire store in Hydra symbols. At least one store owner told them they hire LGBTQ and Jewish people and will be dropping Marvel. Hard to blame that person. Who in their right mind tells people selling his product to dress like a Nazi?! And don’t tell me the old “Hydra isn't Nazis” crap. First of all, even if they’re not, they’re still a fascist death cult that had absolutely no moral qualms about working with the Nazis during World War II, copying from their style and being effectively taken over by remnants of Nazi Germany multiple times. At this point, it’s splitting hair. And two, Marvel, you had Steve Rogers say Hail Hydrand a whole year before. Since then you were constantly trying to tell people Hydra isn’t a Nazi organization and NOBODY BOUGHT IT! At this point, you should have looked at the “Hydra Takeover” idea and realize it might backfire. That this wasn’t recalled but went through only proves that Marvel’s head is so deep up its very ass they no longer see the reality.

Number Ten: Captain America Walking Out Of Himself and Standing Nearby

It is undeniable that Marvel did horrible damage to Captain America in this story, basically twisting the guy into everything he wasn’t. I was honestly afraid how, if ever, they manage to fix the character. But I was not expecting them to pull out the good, old-fashioned chickening out by having an identical copy of the character before he was ruined appear to take over. While seeing real Captain America beat the shit out of Captain Nazi is really cathartic, one cannot forget it came to be through rather...ridiculous means.

Number Nine: Tony Stark

Okay, this one is simple. Tony Stark is in this story. Despite being in a coma. Tony Stark holographic A.I. from Brian Bendis’ Invincible Iron Man is filling in for him. Only here he parades around in Tony’s old armor all the time without anyone commenting on it, recalibrated his personality to be constantly drunk and at one point Steve Rogers tries to decapitate him, a hologram, talking some technobabble about how Hydra made it possible for Tony to die this way.

He’s just Tony Stark. He is Tony Stark because Spencer had scenes requiring Tony Stark to be there and instead of killing his darlings like a good writer, he just wrote clearly human Tony Stark and threw some half-assed explanations and lampshades. It’s silly and makes every scene with him impossible to take seriously.

Number Eight: All the Fucking Quislings!

This one is bad. And I mean, just simply bad. Okay, it’s multiple problems, not a singular one. But it makes my very insides turn at the thought. Nick Spencer asked how can he threw some moral ambiguity IN AN EVENT ABOUT HEROES FIGHTING LITERALLY NAZIS and the best idea he had was to have some random heroes join Hydra. I’m not talking here about those who were brainwashed, like Wanda and Vision, although that is a conversation to also be had by their fans about how often this treatment occurs. Although I wonder - if they are too powerful to let them roam freely, why even HAVE them in this event? It’s not like every superhero was there, currently, heroic Victor Von Doom could probably break Hydra at day one and he was nowhere to be seen.

No, the real problem is with the fact they made some heroes join Hydra willingly. Sometimes they tried to throw flimsy reasons in. Punisher joined to get his family back...even though in previous stories he refused the same offer from less evil people. I feel it’s kinda funny they did this with Frank, considering the man who more or less defined him, Chuck Dixon, has thrown in with real-life Nazis like Milo Yiannopolus. Meanwhile, Deadpool and Thor just go along with letting Nazis rule the States because....Steve Rogers said so and Steve Rogers is always right. That’s just a plain stupidity and total lack of compassion on their side. I’m sure don’t feel like buying any book starring them ever now.

But the worst one is, by far, the Hulk. Who also comes back to life for this event, only to smash for Hydra and immediately die.But that is not the worst part. The worst part is how they build up to it. By having Hydra Steve give Bruce Banner long speech over how Avengers and everyone mistreated him over the years and with Hydra he will finally be accepted for who he is. And Banner calls him a Nazi and tells to go fuck himself. And it is a very powerful moment, Bruce Banner symbolizes everyone disfranchised by the society being offered hand by Nazis and heroically rejecting it... Nah, turns out Rogers was talking to Hulk who felt like changing his catchphrase to Sig Heil. I don’t think Spencer even realized what message he sent by this one moment. He basically said that everyone who has been screwed over by the system secretly agrees with the Nazis, but are “too PC” or “too weak” to say it out loud. It’s stupid AND extremely insulting, two for the price of one.

Number Seven: BARF!

How to properly seed a classic Chekov’s Gunman and yet STILL make him feel like a Deus Ex Machina? Make him ridiculously fucking stupid, that’s how!

Enter Barf, a random Inhuman with the power to vomit up things he needs. He shows up in the first issue, is absent through the entire story only to reappear in Captain America #25 and vomit out a fragment of Cosmic Cube. Because why let people work for their victory and earn their happy ending when you can just have all their efforts blow in their faces and just have means of victory handled to them on a silver platter in the most blatant way possible! If Nick Spencer knew he’s going to write himself into a corner, couldn’t he simply change the plot to avoid it instead of setting up something so stupid?

Number Six: Thou Shalt Not Kill, Miles

After Civil War II we were left with a vision of the future where Miles Morales kills Captain America. Once Secret Empire rolled around and we saw Rogers go full Alt-Right on the country, many were hoping this will actually happen. And Miles, with a handful of friends, does join Black Widow in her efforts to off Captain Nazi. And she spends most of the series training them to be more like her....then talking how she doesn’t actually want them to be more like her and how her generation screwed things up....then taking them on the assassination day anyway only to lock Miles up to kill Rogers herself and when that fails, give up her life trying to stop their fight. Which, in the classic refrigerator fashion, pushes Miles hard enough to actually do this. Only to be given one of the most hollow, lazy-written speeches about how killing is wrong. It hits all the old, tired notes. “Heroes should be better than villains”. “If you kill him, you will be just like him!” (a reminder that “you” in this situation is a Black-Latino and “him” is A FUCKING NAZI FOR CHRIST”S SAKE...). “Natasha wouldn’t want this for you.” (she showed it in the strangest way).... It’s especially bad when you have a character who has a backstory of being trained to kill but rejecting those ways, like Nadia Van Dyne, delivering this speech. Despite her background and personality none of this sounds like her words. It reads like she was going through a checklist of tired cliches.

This is why I came to hate this Aesop that superheroes shouldn’t kill. Because nine times out of ten this isn’t done to actually be a piece of a character driven narrative. It’s done to give a bunch of excuses to let villain live when he deserves to die.

Also, that entire plot point dragged since the previous event, in the end, amounted to BUG FUCKING NOTHING!

Number Five: Who Cares About the Civilians, Right?

So okay, the day is saved, villains are defeated, Captain Nazi got his ass kicked by Steve Rogers and Kobik, a sentient cosmic cube, undoes all this damage. EXCEPT FOR FUCKING VEGAS, WHICH HYDRA LEVELED AND LEFT NOT SURVIVORS! Seriously, I don’t care about the explanations given. Someone should have asked her to do it. And no, some “leave it as a reminder” excuse doesn’t work, Kobik is mentally three years old, she isn’t some wise all-powerful being like Odin or the Stranger from whom we could buy this shit. This is pretty much done only so that Nick Spencer can claim he kept his promise to not undo everything by the cosmic cube. He didn’t undo EVERYTHING, that counts, right? It makes all the heroes look like morons and assholes. Even Z Fighters in Dragon Ball have enough decency to ask the dragon to resurrect all dead civilians when they undo everything after every arc. Marvel heroes, for all the “lessons” this even taught them, couldn’t be assed to do even that.

Number Four: Ultron the Centrist

I’ll be honest with you, Pymltron wearing “Kiss the Overlord” apron, forcing Avengers and Hydra to sit and roasting all of them was one of the best parts of the event. But then it also comes off as paying lip service to the “both sides are as bad” mentality that we saw being used by people of today to desperately try to equate alt-right and those opposing them in real life. It’s pretty much justifying this approach in this story and it doesn’t matter one saying that is a fusion of mentally unstable man and a genocidal robot - he never gets challenged on this position because, for all his talk otherwise on twitter, Nick Spencer apparently cannot think of a compelling argument against it. I guess he secretly agrees with him...

And it doesn’t help that while Ultron ends up aiding the good guys, he does say it’s because Hydra became too strong and might pose a threat to him. Sending a message that any outside powers that show support to those opposing Nazis, in reality, wants America’s destruction...

Number Three: Nazi Pandering

Do I really need to explain this one? The entire event does nothing but bends over to kiss Hydra, and by the extension, Nazi ass at every possible opportunity. They beat up all superheroes because the plot says so, while the narrator goes on and on about how NAZI STRONK! We’re told they were supposed to win the World War II and that Allies “cheated” by rewriting reality...but for some reason let the Holocaust in?! Their rule is shown as being the strongest, which is water to the mill of real-life Nazis as their philosophy is based on “might makes right” and they beat up pretty much everyone, even Wakanda. Every victory heroes have against them must be immediately undermined by giving Nazis another win for consolidation. And while the heroes win at the end, this comes after several issues portraying them as absolutely pathetic losers who didn’t really earn their happy ending but it was handed to them by a random inhuman and Deus Ex Machina device. Which brings us to the next point...

Number Two: Cosmic Cubes

All the dumb shit going in this event can be tracked back to Cosmic Cube, be it as Kobik or the shards. She causes Crazy Steve to emerge, launching this story. And she fixes this mess at the end. Shards of Cosmic Cube serve as a distraction to put both good and bad guys on a wild goose chase because Spencer couldn’t think of any actually interesting plotline for this event. All dumb shit evil Steve pulls out can be explained by them. When it’s time for heroes to win, Barf vomits out a shard. And It undermines everything. A story that entirely revolves around this crap doesn’t have any time to actually show things it’s talking about. Maybe instead of running after Dragon Balls, more time should be developed to show how lack of trust and resentments between the good guys gets in the way? You know, something the narration keeps talking on and on and on but never is reflected in the book? Or show more of them acting like an actual resistance would? Worse, thanks to them heroes no longer win because they’re heroic but because they’ve been handed the I Win Button. Any easy win of the villains can be explained by them holding the Fuck You That’s Why Button. Making you wonder why even care if everybody wins only by writer’s fiat?

Number One: Bown Down To the Gary Stu

Most of the problems in this entire story can really boil down to just this. Steve Rogers is a gary stu. He wins because Nick Spencer wants to show how cool and badass he is. His plans always go without a hitch and he never has to adapt or improvise, under him, Hydra wrecks everyone's shit, even if he loses he still wins and in the end, the only man allowed to beat him is...another Steve Rogers. All other problems in the story can be traced back to Spencer’s desperate need to make him look strong. And believe me, he tried soo damn hard. Up to have him go full Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan Four Madara Uchicha with Cosmic Cube Dojustsu on everyone’s ass at the finale. I don’t think we’d see a guy being shoved down our throats so hard if Roman Reigns joined Ultramarines! This is where the book truly falls. Nick Spencer could not let go of his fanboyism over the character and it twisted everything he supposedly wanted to say into a parody of itself, often sending the exact opposite message to accommodate the need to make evil Steve Rogers look good.

So, these are ten dumbest moments in the series. As far as events go, this was one of the worst. It looks like it might have ruined Nick Spencer’s career at Marvel and maybe in general, and will probably make it very hard to look at certain characters for years to come. The only good thing you could say is that it finally ended.

Fuck this book.

- Admin

[filthpig]

OOC and Overdue Update

// Okay so, I’ve been lurking for what seems like almost a year; and I keep saying I’m coming back and never do, so here’s the official update. I’m going to be putting the Blog related reasons first for those of you who only care about that (which is fine, I understand and will not be offended if you only read this part) and the upcoming blogs below. All of this will be in a read more for dash consideration. 

I have decided to (after many months of battle) to tell you guys all of my plans instead of dropping them on you all at once because that is unfair. I was recently gifted a theme by a friend of mine and that has cleared up most of my issues because I’m a perfectionist and I needed to have the Elite (tm) bullshit or I didn’t want to write. But I’ve also come to terms with the fact that I’m a writer and not an artist or editor and I need to get past that. So I will be trying to get everything pretty and Elitist (tm) within reason; however, if this turns out to be a headache, I will go the minimalist route instead. 

Now, onto what is changing/coming. I will be putting ALL of my blogs, active/ in the works here in a list, this is subject to change if I feel logging in and out for all of these separate blogs is a pain in the ass, I might make a multi muse EXCLUDING Extollere, but this is doubtful. 

TW: there will be triggering content in this blog No Tw: this blog will be mostly trigger free aside from violence

Extollere (TW): I’m changing his URL to Filthpg and making his main verse an independent verse set in my original universe. He will be a collector for an arms dealing ring in Europe set in a flexible time period from the late 70′s to modern. I will be keeping all of his current Bloodborne verses and they will not change for the most part. A few more verses will be added. Theme will be changed and I may or may not make some icons (we will see). nothing else about him will be changing for right now. I may remove some verses, I’m not sure yet, but the Bloodborne verses WILL BE STAYING. Exto will eventually get a solid FC, as of right now it’s a bunch of different people who happen to look like him in certain angles. 

Demetrios/The Doorman (No TW): Dem is getting an overhaul/ reboot as another cannon character, The Dealer from Hand of Fate. I feel as if this character fits him better and there is more story to go off of than what the doorman had. His blog is getting a new theme and icons, and his story line is changing completely. Due to my interest in the Doorman remaining, I will be keeping his Bloodborne verses for those who wish to continue or start new interactions. However, his main verse/(s) will be the ones taking place in the HOF universe. He will also have a few other verses set in my universe ( the same one Extollere’s main verse is in) His FC is Kaseem Salim.

The Tau-9 (No TW as of now): I’m pretty sure not many of you follow this one as I started it way back, abandoned it and then tried to reboot it again before losing motivation in everything. However, the Tau is the personification and deity of Time set in my universe and is Extollere’s god in the Bloodborne verses. They are a genderless omnipotent being capable of time manipulation and travel, as well as MANY other abilities. This muse will seem overpowered and therefore I will only do speaking interactions with them unless my partner understands that they are dealing with a god. They have many verses set in many different time periods and locations, but the feeling behind this muse is predominately science fiction based. Basically this muse can adapt to ANY verse. I will explain them in more detail if asked, as for right now I will leave it as this. I probably won’t be doing icons for this blog because FC’s are hard to find that aren’t art; I have permission for a couple and will be giving credit where necessary, but I find it easier to just have no icons for a god. 

Darth Nihilus (No TW): I’m just going to reboot him, nothing is really changing here I just need to finish the blog and update the theme as well as piece together a back story. FC is obvious. 

Elias Janige (TW): Elias is an OC of mine from the same universe as Exto. He’s a French sniper in the resistance that forms once Earth is invaded under Demetrios’ command and later a traitor who joins the Tau by pledging his allegiance to Semerkhet (I’ll explain his blog later) Elias has a troubled past consisting of crimes ranging from petty to severe in order to get by whilst on the run from his wealthy family who he has differences with due to their views on life and his childhood abuse. He will have many verses and will be very adaptable. Another main verse is Loneliness: he is a soldier on an aircraft carrier whose crew runs into some eldritch sea monster bullshit. I’m not sure whether to make his sniper verse his main or this one, I will decide later. His FC is YOUNG (CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH) Al Jourgensen.

Semerkhet Nekaure(Extreme TW): This. Is the blog I’ve been working on. Everything else has taken a place on the backburner. Sem is the right hand of The Tau-9 and a god in his own right. Technically genderless, he appears male and uses the pronouns they/them and he/him. Sem is a cyberpunk asshole and not in the same way Elias is. He is a horrendous person bordering on downright evil due to his inhumanity. His timeline is mostly set in an alternate universe of my own in the 1980s extending to modern era, but this can be adapted to fit other timelines and pieces can be taken from his story to fit other time periods. Sem is Demetrios’ adopted older brother from an unknown origin. He isn’t human, but takes on a human body to recruit other people into the ranks of the Tau and to undergo the trials of humanity. Sem leaves home at 16 to do illegal street fights and then gets scouted by the same arms dealing ring that Exto works for (he gets Exto his job) However, because Sem isn’t human he exists in two places at once and is also a mentor at the cult Extollere grew up in before joining his other self as a collector in the ring. Finally he leaves the ring to travel to a city which is famous for its underground organ market. Being a necromancer naturally as a Tau this intrigues him, but this backfires and he becomes a god scorned as he’s taken as a victim with his heart being replaced in a transplant and he receives the faulty one. His human body fails in the end and he rejoins with his god to start the invasion. However, his unbridled rage leaves him at odds with a race he already hates and thus exacts revenge on the innocent girl who has his human heart. Later he recruits Elias who devotes his life to him as if Sem is his god.This later kills Elias multiple times and leads to his eventual ascension or suicide depending on his verse. Sem is an extremely triggering character and I will be writing my rules to accommodate this. He will have many verses as well ranging from sci-fi to fantasy and everything in between. 

[rosetintmyworld84]

Everything (I Found) Wrong in the 100 Season 5

It’s taken me almost a year to fully digest, but I have many issues with season 5. There’s a lot that I love; Spacekru is a big one, but overall, I feel like there was too much story for the season. Like they tried to condense 2 seasons into 1 and failed quite a bit. Here, in no particular order, are what I feel were the narrative missteps in a show that, until now, has been fairly consistently strong.

Probably my main issue is what they did to Wonkru in the bunker. Going into it I was hoping for more (any) backstory about Bill Cadogen and Second Dawn. We only just found out in season 4 that this cult existed, the leader built 2 bunkers (1 for the righteous and 1 for those who failed the final test), and that absolutely the Grounders are all descended from the Second Dawn survivors. We even get a couple shots of the Grounder clan symbols and common phrases on posters in the bunker (Blood Must Have Blood, Your Fight is Over, etc). We also know, from season 3, that Becca, the first commander, came across them 2 years into the end of the world, introducing “the flame”. It appears from the Blood Must Have Blood poster though that nightblood was already in the bunker population. We know it predates “the flame” as it was used in one of the mining missions (Eligius III), but why did Second Dawn have it?

And the glaringest bit about Second Dawn, the bunker, and the end of the world that I was hoping would be talked about, is how did they know the world was ending? We see, when ALIE sends the bombs flying there is basically no notice and no time to prepare or get anywhere safe. So the Second Dawn cult had to have been in the bunker before the bombs started flying (even those who ended up in the false bunker had time to get in and close the doors only to later discover that it wasn’t properly sealed and they were doomed). I felt that this meant that Bill Cadogen was somehow involved in ending the world, that either he was part of the team that developed ALIE (unlikely) or that he somehow engineered her escape to hasten the end of the world. Once Becca comes down you can easily see how the 2 leaders could splinter the survivors, possibly being the beginning of the Trikru/Azgeda competition (and all but confirmed by Madi’s visions of the commanders, and Becca being burned at the stake).

But the story goes nowhere, and we don’t get any insights like we did in previous seasons. Instead we get Soylent Green Big Brother Colosseum Blood Fest. I get where the writers were going, but it felt redundant with the Mt Weather symbolic cannibalism (which was done in a much better way). We get a lot of regressive character development (Kane, Abby, Octavia), side characters with potential that go nowhere (Jaha, Gaia, Niylah, and especially red herring Aiden who does nothing and dies without fanfare). The political infighting could have been done better too, but they basically took the ARC from season 1 and Mt Weather and kind of Frankensteined them together. I can understand why they wrote Octavia’s story the way they did, that she had whittled away parts of her soul to keep her people safe, and her determination to see that her sacrifices will be worth it and her people delivered to safety in the end. I feel like if it weren’t for Eligius showing up she would have either wandered off or just died once her job was done and Wonkru was on the surface again.

Everything involving Eligius this season (baring their first interactions with Spacekru) were bloated and unnecessary; created just to have a new outside antagonist. Again, there was potential, but they jammed 2 seasons worth of story into 1 season. Just about every character was disposable and forgettable. Maybe they were concerned they wouldn’t get a season 6 so they tried to reach a point that could be a natural stop for the series, but it was just too much and not enough. You don’t care about the prisoners plight, so you don’t really care about any plan that keeps them alive for “reasons”. Nor do you care about them getting sick. There are almost no stakes at all. Perhaps, instead of accidental environmental exposure illness they could have been experimented on like Eligius III, only it went poorly. Maybe it could circle around to Bill Cadogen and Second Dawn. Anything that would keep you invested would be great.

Again I do really love just about everything with Spacekru, mostly how they are made to interact with the other groups is where it all falls apart. Like Octavia sabotaging Monty’s efforts to fix their food supply, or attempting to execute her brother (like come on, the Bakes should have moved past this by now), or the exit of Monty and Harper off screen and the introduction of their son. That one really pissed me off because Monty and Harper were barely in the season, and then that at the end was a pay off with no build up. Raven, Murphy, Emori, and Echo all had great fleshed out arcs.

And now to Mama Clarke and her nightblood child Madi. I did love the introduction, though upon reflection of a year I wonder why Madi couldn’t have been an actress of color. All the known commanders thus far are white. The show has been progressively whittling away POC mains for a while now, and this could have added some needed rep (in a series that has done pretty well in that regard, but again worse in each progressive season). Aside from that, I am super annoyed with mama bear Clarke after not too long in the series. She double crosses everyone she knows all to “keep Madi safe” or whatever, to the point that the only lives she really fights for are her, Madi, and her mom. She betrays Bellamy, after 6 years of speaking at him in pace, after he white knights to her rescue from Eligius, after not being able to kill him to keep everyone else safe in the bunker. It is so out of character how myopic she became. It’s like the writers forgot how to write mother/daughter arcs and just went full on Suburban mom on steroids. Everything that made Clarke a great leader and character in previous season is gone, replaced only by mom stuff. Multiple times she almost gets all of her own people killed, actually does contribute to getting them killed in some cases, to keep her daughter from being given “the flame”, ie something that is known to help find solutions to problems that humans miss and could actually be helpful to their struggle, because “commanders live short violent lives”. There are no other nightbloods except Clarke. And making Octavia so drunk with power is just weak ass storytelling.  

Earth destruction 2.0 is just the same old tired plot lines being recycled to make them go to another planet. It means all these people were fighting for this 1 scrap of livable land all season, and it’s for nothing. There are so many deus ex machinas in the end I lost count. The entire season was just regurgitated plots from the past seasons in slightly different order and sped up. It as such a mess that I almost don’t care about the new season, and it’s sad because this was a sci fi show that used to be amazing and fresh. It had potential from season to season. The cast is still fantastic, and are doing what they can with the story they have, but they can’t fix all that was wrong with season. Hopefully season  6 gets better, but I’m not holding my breath.

[stevejehovahbible]

Genesis 17

1  And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect. 2  And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly. 3  And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying, 4  As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations. He’s 99 now, and God is STILL harassing him on a regular basis with this repetitious “we have a contract!” nonsense. I’m gonna guess that He’s gonna follow the blueprint laid out in previous chapters. So lets take a wild guess and  say that God’s gonna say something about: * Making Abram a great nation * Exceeding seed or numerous important descendants or whatever * Restating that this is a contract for “all generations” that follow * “I’m gonna be their God, and they will be my people”, and possibly * Living on and possessing the land, which is supper important for some reason. Lets find out... 5  Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee. So God is renaming people now? That’s new at least. You’d think if there was any credibility to the whole “God is in charge of EVERYTHING” line of crap that He wouldn’t need to rework things. I mean, it’s kind of like bragging that you're a master carpenter who can build things perfectly, but then you have to constantly touch up and adjust everything you make. If you’re so damn good, you should have made it right the FIRST time. But, according to the idiots, God made it perfect AND His upgrades are perfect. They can't wrap their heads around the fact that this is a contradiction. But really, who is surprised by that? The name change in itself is hilarious. He goes from “Exalted Father” (Abram) to “Father Of Multitudes” (Abraham) continuing the bible’s disturbing habit of naming people and things for their characteristics. Not something that generally happens in history, but you will find it ALL THE TIME in fiction.       6  And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee. Called it. We’ve heard this before. Is God repeating it because he figures Abram’s ancient ass has dementia?  7  And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee. 8  And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God. 9  And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations. *ding* *ding* *ding* Are you gonna actually say anything new here God? This is all old news. Not to mention that it’s a lie. If I promise to give you a car, and say that all your children after you will also get a car, then it’s a lie if I fail to deliver a car to HUGE groups of your descendants. This is just another example of uneducated, primitive cultures putting words into the mouth of a supreme Deity that are believed even though all of the available evidence shows them to be human invention.    10  This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised. 11  And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you. Wait... What?!? Ok. Let’s go back to the familiar stuff. I’m sorry for complaining. Let’s stick to the part BEFORE you decided to endorse genital mutilation. If you want to make that particular covenant with someone, there’s a guy named Albert Fish that’s gonna be born in 1870. He’d totally be on board with your sick penis obsession.   12  And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed. 13  He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. Two things... Firstly, you’re advocating child abuse. That’s what this is. You’re mutilating the genitals of fucking babies. You can’t give a baby tattoos, or piercings, or enter them into legally binding contracts BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING INFANTS. They can’t give consent. So this idiocy fails on multiple levels. I mean, if you don’t accept the lunacy of the religion, it’s just straight up abuse. But even if you accept all the nonsense inherent in the premise, IT STILL FAILS! It’s not their decision, so the symbolic act is rendered meaningless. Secondly, tell me again that God doesn’t endorse slavery you imbecilic apologist assholes. I’m sure there’s a reason why God says something about purchasing human beings TWICE, and doesn’t think to say anything against it. Seriously, you people make me sick.      14  And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant. Aaaaallllrighty then. Lets look at this. God is LITERALLY saying that anyone who doesn’t chop off part of his dick should be ostracized from the community as a whole and treated like a pariah. And what is the crime for which they should be treated this way? Rape? Murder? Owning slaves? Nope. It’s not conforming to the group and failing to engage in a symbolic gesture. Because those are God’s priorities. Given the severity of God’s decree, it would be beneficial for parents to force their children into observing this ritual before they’re old enough to give consent or understand the implications of what’s happening to them. Because it’s better to have  your son conform to the actions of an entire group of people observing a symbolic ritual before he’s old enough to understand it, than to have him ostracized and cast out from the group. Because that makes sense, right? Actually, it doesn’t. At all. Unless, of course, your goal is to psychologically manipulate these people and link their personal identity to that of a group before they’re old enough to think clearly. Because this shit has so much in common with how cults work to subtly program and brainwash their followers that it’s goddamn terrifying.             15  And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be. Another new name. Because as soon as God tries something once and likes how it turns out, He’s got to do it again. And again. And again. Please also remember that another hallmark of cults is giving practitioners new names that symbolically link them to the cult and their identity within the cult structure. Nice of God to follow the blueprint so closely.    16  And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her. *ding* again! Doesn't God remind you of that junkie friend you have who keeps promising to get you the $20 you lent him 7 years ago? Every time you see him, he lets you know that he hasn’t forgot about about it, and he’s gonna get you that money just as soon as he can clear his head enough to remember what day of the week it is... Also, God is totally ok with blessing this incestuous relationship. Just because. Don’t think about it.   17  Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear? Remember that historical account that told us about Lincoln’s thoughts when arriving at Ford’s Theater? Or the one about what George Washington was thinking while crossing the Delaware? Me neither. Because history doesn’t record the thoughts, feelings, or internal monologue of the characters it’s describing. Only fiction does that. Regardless, Abraham again displays his ability to logic, which makes him a bad believer. Silly Abraham, facts are for sacrilegious, blasphemous, heretic heathens.       18  And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee! So, even in the thrall of dementia, crazy old Abraham still recognizes that God is  making about as much sense as Donald Trump on bath salts. So he tries to give Him a way out by suggesting that his lovechild with that whiny bitch Hagar might be the heir God is talking about.   19  And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him. Nope. God says that he is definitely going to have a son at the ripe old age of 100. For serious. And remember, this covenant is eternal. Except that some people who want to update it try to use their linguistic bible magic hocus-pocus to make “eternal” mean “how their culture worked back then.” We see evidence, over and over again, of Old Testament laws being very serious to God. He constantly affirms things in stark black and white, reminding us that they’re endless. It’s just that, if modern day Christians followed these laws, they’d be looked at (rightly) as monsters, and many of them would end up in jail. Unless they employed the same tactics they currently use when one of their members does something abhorrent, and just sweep it under the rug and hide the evidence. Which they probably would. But that would be a lot of work. So they just adjust the text to make it say what they want it to say, and transform from Westboro Baptist Church into Atheists that go to a special building one day a week and pretend they believe in a sky wizard that they totally ignore or redraft whenever it’s convenient. At least have the balls to stand behind your abhorrent, illogical bullshit, you spineless hypocrites.           20  And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation. 21  But my covenant will I establish with Isaac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year. So God is comfortable dictating and manipulating the future. He outright tells Abraham what to name his son (”he laughs”... you know... because Abraham laughed when God told him about it. Just because) but again, can’t be bothered to intervene in anything that actually matters. He’s very focused on the Soap Opera aspects of reality. What names people have, who’s fucking who, where they live, how many kids they have... but He loses interest when it comes to sickness, poverty, racism, sexism, intolerance, violence, or anything substantial. God gets involved with pointless fluff, picks out his favorites, and consistently helps out those who already have the upper hand. Stellar example you’re setting there big guy.     22  And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham. 23  And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham's house; and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him. In ONE DAY God shows up and talks to Abraham, tells him all this crazy nonsense, and prompts him to grab a knife and cut the foerskin off EVERYONE in his house. All the males of his 300+ slaves.   24  And Abraham was ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. 25  And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. Not surprisingly, the Bible has ANOTHER issue with the timeline for the bullcrap it’s making up. It says Ishmael is 13 here, but in the story that’s coming up in Genesis 21, it sounds like he’s still a YOUNG child. Like infant young. So he must have temporary Benjamin Button Disease. 26  In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son. 27  And all the men of his house, born in the house, and bought with money of the stranger, were circumcised with him. You know that thing we literally just told you a verse ago? Yeah, we figure you must need to have it repeated because you're too stupid to get it the first time. So here it is again.

[comic-movieheroesranked]

Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2004) Part I

After two consecutive years of multiple Comic movies, 2004 took it a bit slow with only five movie releases. Blade returns one last time in Blade: Trinity as well as Spider-Man in Spider-Man 2! We also get a spin on two cult classics with AVP: Alien vs Predator. Finally we also get the debut of two comic characters in Hellboy and Catwoman. Let’s start off the list with #40 through #21!!!

*SPOILERS AHEAD FOR ALL HIGHLIGHTED MOVIES ABOVE*

Cameo Appreciation: Stan Lee (Spider-Man 2) Another blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo, but it's the first time Stan Lee saves someone, as he pulls a girl away from the path of falling debris as Spider-Man faces off against Doc Ock.

Cameo Appreciation: Ben Parker and Norman Osborn/Green Goblin (Spider-Man 2) Two father figures that both died in the last film come back as illusions(?) to the two people who inspired them the most. Uncle Ben returned to help guide Peter as he decides on whether or not to continure as Spider-Man or lead a different life. Norman comes back to haunt his son into becoming the new Green Goblin and to convince him to go after Peter and seek revenge.

40. Ilsa Haupstein (Hellboy)

"Hell will hold no surprises for us."

I forgot this girl was in this movie every time she wasn't on screen. She doesn't even really do anything but is extremely loyal to her man. She always has this big hammer around but we never really see it in action either. Anyways, when the big bad demon is released she accepts death pretty well and dies with her man.

39. Dr. Edgar Vance and Chief Martin Vreede (Blade: Trinity)

"There's nothing stopping them now."

These two were familiars who would do their vampires dirty work while the sun was out. They both successfully drug Blade for their masters but that's about it for their success. Vance ends up getting drained dry by Drake and Vreede gets shot down by Blade after he shuts down their human farm.

38. John Jameson (Spiderman-2)

"The world is full of big jerks."

It's not that John was the nice guy that finished last, it's just that he was the wrong guy. I'm sorry at the end of the day if a girl isn't feeling you, it does not matter how successful you are at life. Mary Jane figures this out when she kisses him in their apartment one last time. It does suck that he was left at the alter, he was a decent guy he didn't deserve that.

37. George Hedare (Catwoman)

"Don't speak. Consider it a condition in our relationship."

Throughout the whole movie we're played to think George-a misogynistic, arrogant, piece of scum-is the villain. Turns out he's not, but he's still a shitty person. Just because he runs a fancy makeup company lets him believe he can do who and whatever he wants. This ends up being his downfall because he doesn't even notice his wife is plotting against him until she shoots him dead. Can't say I was upset.

36. Ray Cumberland (Blade: Trinity)

"Don't fuck with my thing."

Ray leads a new enemy against Blade, the police force. After Blade gets recorded killing a human, Ray tries to take him down. Of course he doesn't believe in vampires and for most of the movie nothing bursts his bubble of ignorance. It isn't until the end when he thinks he's caught Blade's body but it transforms back to Drake's corpse right in front of Ray's eyes.

35. Ophelia (Catwoman)

"Catwomen are not contained by the rules of society."

Ophelia is just weird cat lady who has all this knowledge about the history of Catwomen, women gifted with abilities of a cat. She owns a bunch of cats, to no one's surprise, including Midnight, the cat that has the power to grant women like Patience with the ability to become Catwoman.

34. Rosalie Octavius (Spider-Man 2)

"I love that brilliant mind of his."

As soon as I saw Rosalie I knew she was going to die. With Otto clearly being the villain but appearing as a nice guy, I knew something drastic was going to happen that would push him over the edge. That something was killing Rosalie, his brilliant wife that supports all his ambitions. And just to rub salt to the wound, we had to see her die because of his mistake when trying to work his new invention.

33. Harry Osborn (Spider-Man 2)

"I'm ruined! I have nothing left-except Spider-Man!"

Y'all know I hated Harry in the first Spider-Man movie and my hatred for him only grew in this one. He's just a big douche that can't get over the death of a father that only showed him the bare minimum of interest. He's a dick to Peter and ends up finding out he's Spider-Man. After more self-loathing, he ends up discovering his father's secret room where he hid the Green Goblin. I cannot wait to see where this takes us *notice my sarcasm* in the next film.

32. Agent Clay (Hellboy)

"Well, come on in. Meet the rest of the family."

There's a running gag about his new hair piece looking like it would on a doll and it's so true. Hellboy lowkey fake for acting like it looked good, a real friend would've had him fix it asap. He's apart of the mission to destroy the hellhound eggs that goes completely wrong. He squares off against zombie/not zombie, Kroenen. And since Kroenen can't die Clay's bullets do nothing as he gets stabbed repeatedly. He somehow doesn't die then and there and his fate in the hospital is never revealed after but it's predicted he wasn't going to make it.

31. Sommerfield, Zoe, Hedges and Dex (Blade: Trinity)

"My friends are coming to kill you."

The members of the Nightstalkers, a new group of vampire hunters. Blade says they have no idea what they're doing and he's absolutely right. Aside from Sommerfield, who ends up making the virus that will kill all vampires, they don't really add anything to Blade's already impressive arsenal. When Drake attacks their hideout he kills Sommerfield, Hedges, and Dex easily and then kidnaps Sommerfield's daughter, Zoe. She's a brave one, especially at her age, not showing an ounce of fear while she's being held captive and even courageously telling Drake he's going to die before she gets rescued.

30. Sally (Catwoman)

"I must be in my cubicle alone."

Shy people like Patience need friends like Sally. Friends who will say the dirty things they're thinking out loud and will drag the shy ones around to get into some trouble. That's what she is, and I appreciate that. She's also the first person to get sick from using their job's new beauty cream, giving the first signs to the movie's overall plot. In the end she ends up with her steaming doctor so she's winning.

29. Jarko Grimwood (Blade: Trinity)

"Hey, dickface. You seen my dog?"

The muscle of the vampires who owns a vampire Pomeranian. If that isn't weird enough the dude is always at the receiving end of King's jokes and a rivalry easily starts between them. He's basically a giant toddler and ends up getting his ass beat the entire movie until King finally puts a bomb in his mouth, killing him.

28. Graeme Miller, Maxwell Stafford, Adele Rousseu, and Mark Verheiden (Alien vs. Predator)

"I'd rater have one and not need it then need and not have one."

So obviously the only reason we had a bunch of crew members in this movie was so there would be more chances for us to see all the different ways the aliens and predators could kill. Out of all the minor characters I found these four to be the most important. First we got Adele, the only female besides Alexa who also makes a very good point when it comes to carrying her gun. However, homegirl doesn't appear to know how to use it when a bunch of creepy spider aliens show up and lay alien eggs down her throat. Graeme and Mark are two guys constantly arguing because Mark thinks Graeme is just a useless scientist, which is correct, honestly. Despite Mark having two broken legs, I think he would've put up a good fight against the first alien had it not been for the other two jumping in. Graeme meets his end when he successfully gets a gun but wastes all the bullets on one spider alien, despite the fact that there's several more about to hatch and take over his body. Finally, there's Maxwell. He's Weyland's assistant and kind of an asshole? Like the whole time he's just a dick to Alexa for no reason so I didn't feel bad at all when a predator shows up and sticks a spear through him.

27. J. Jonah Jameson (Spider-Man 2)

"I want Spider-Man!"

The famous New York editor who thinks the only real story is the one he tells himself. Despite the fact that he clearly does not like Spider-Man, Jameson is still really entertaining throughout the movie. He's also Peter's most reliable source of income during his troubled times and he doesn't abuse that either. He really is one of those people you kind of have to accept isn't going to change.

26. Danica Talos (Blade: Trinity)

"Now we're getting somewhere, my pet."

This girl was so annoying and unnecessary. She reminded me of the little girl from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the spoiled one who ended up being a rotten egg. She likes to toy with people, especially King, but gets pissy if they clap back, especially King. When she's torturing the poor guy she ends up getting hit with the virus for vampires and dies, all while King mocks her as he gets away.

25. Grigori Rasputin (Hellboy)

"You will never understand what kind of power you have."

The main bad guy who's only good at summoning demon hounds that can't die and giving speeches about his time served in a hell dimension. Because of his time sent there he's really eager to get a portal between hell and Earth open so that Earth is destroyed once and for all. He really should've had a backup plan since his main plan revolved around our hero, Hellboy, betraying everyone and opening the portal. When it fails the demon living in him comes out and kills him and his forgettable bae.

24. Charles Bishop Weyland (Alien vs. Predator)

"I need this."

Weyland is the reason everyone is at an underground pyramid full of aliens. He's a rich explorer who just wants to be remembered by something great he did just before he dies of whatever sickness he has. The Predator tries to spare him-it can sense he's dying-but Weyland ain't no punk and lights the thing on fire. The Predator isn't a punk either though and ends up killing him just after that.

23. Laurel Hedare (Catwoman)

"I'm a woman, I'm used to doing things I don't want to do."

At first I want to feel sorry for Laurel. She has insecurities due to her husband cheating on her with the younger women who literally stole her job. It sucks, but its really hard to feel sympathy when she knowingly tries to make a beauty product that will eventually kill its consumers public just so she can keep making money. She also kills anyone who tries to stop her, including her cheating husband. Her skins also super tough as a side effect for constantly using the cream so she can actually do damage when she fights Catwoman. She can also fall off a building a lot faster and keep her body intact when she hits the ground.

22. Tom Manning (Hellboy)

"You never, ever light a cigar that way."

Tom is the director of the FBI and it's mainly his job to deny the existence of Hellboy to the public even when Hellboy is seen fighting a demon hound in the middle of a very public carnival. He doesn't get along with Hellboy because he thinks he's reckless and lacks respect to higher figures of authority and he's absolutely right in both cases. However, after they each work together to bring down Kroenen they bond for the very first time over cigars.

21. May Parker (Spider-Man 2)

"Everybody loves a hero."

At the beginning of the movie I was definitely getting 'Aunt May is going to die' vibes, which sucks because Peter just lost Uncle Ben in the last film. As movie progressed it was obvious that Aunt May's arc would be about her living on post-Uncle Ben's death, with her main struggle being able to pay for the house Peter grew up in. I also like that she didn't instantly forgive Peter for what happened to Uncle Ben. She didn't blame him, but she was also hurt and just needed to be alone. Her being Doctor Octopus's hostage was a bit comical though.