#and 78 shots of straight bathtub tequila

[pixiesnooze]

everyone start compiling your dad gojo fanfics right now

[thisdayinfavrd]

November 8, 2009

Watching Godfather Part III. If I remember correctly, it's the one with Jar Jar Binks.   @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 85

You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras.   @Aimee_B_Loved (Aimee B) – 78

People forget that 'Back to the Future' was made in 1955 and the filmmakers had to guess about life in the 1980s.   @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 64

How many roads must a man walk down before he realizes there's a sidewalk?   @Zaius13 (Damn Dirty Ape) – 61

This is history.   @BarackObama (Barack Obama) – 60

Whenever locking a car first made the horn honk is when things really started going to shit.   @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 51

"Fat? No, but it does make your butt look pregnant."   ...and that was the last thing I remember saying, officer.   @FriedWords (Derek) – 50

Bloomberg just paid $75 million to be mayor of everything on @foursquare.   @badbanana (Tim Siedell) – 49

Remember when you could slam a telephone down on the hook? Pulling out your earbuds and throwing them onto the keyboard isn't as satisfying.   @Tony_D (Tony Delgrosso) – 49

Shotglasses? That sounds like a lot of pouring.   @joeschmitt (Joe Schmitt) – 48

Upon hearing news of Steven Tyler's departure from Aerosmith, Sammy Haggar takes a shot of tequila, jumps to his feet and says "I'm on it."   @MrBigFists (Jonathan Sloan) – 46

Man, imagine how easy all this would be if the Democrats had some kind of majority or something.   @aedison (Avery Edison) – 46

Oh, just taking a picture of myself but trying to make it look like it's a candid shot that one of my many many friends took of me. You?   @biorhythmist (matt) – 45

About to put the OD in VODKA.  At some point in the evening I'll also be putting the HO in alcoholic.  Cut me some slack.  I hurt.   @ruthakers (ruthakers) – 45

Date night would be a lot more fun without "What shoes should I wear? Do I look fat in these jeans? Why are you lighting my closet on fire?"   @OverlandParker (Michael Pierce) – 45

Guy's yelling into the end of his iPhone like it's a sound-conducting slice of pizza.  The TOP end.  While wearing EARBUDS.  Where to begin.   @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 42

Eating Top Ramen with a fork straight out of the pot, just like my ancestors did 20 years ago.   @biorhythmist (matt) – 42

"It's good that clowns wear squeaky shoes, so they can't sneak up on you." "The most evil clowns are barefoot. Pleasant dreams, son."   @abigvictory (Michele Catalano) – 38

I'm not buying a bathtub until I can read a Kindle in it.   @hotdogsladies (Merlin Mann) – 38

I say some pretty anti-feminist things sometimes, but what else do you expect from a woman?   @aedison (Avery Edison) – 37