#and 4 of those were before noon so

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

How are you doing today, Quin?

Honestly? Not great. I’ve thrown up so many times today I’ve kinda lost count. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow so I hope everything goes well there.

Hope you’re doing well, sweet anon

[joonsmagicshop]

Stress Relief Series Part 4- KSJ

 Summary: A couple weeks ago Taehyung asked a favor. For you to have sex with his bandmates to relieve some tension and stress. How can you say no to that

Paring: Jin/Reader

Rating: 18+/M

Word Count: 6k

Tags: Smut, fingering, eating out, fucking against a mirror, wrap it before you tap it people, spanking, dirty talk, Jin calls her princess.

Authors Note: You can not tell me Seokjin wouldn't love to fuck someone against a mirror so he could look at himself. I rest my case.

In case you missed it

Part 1 (intro)

Part 2

Part 3

Spring had finally decided to make an appearance four days after your steamy night with Jungkook and you were going to take full advantage of the beautiful weather.

Right as the clock struck noon you grabbed your bag and your light pink spring coat making your way out of your stuffy office and crossing the busy street to the park which had many beautiful trees that were just starting to bloom, bringing the promise of longer days and balmy temperatures.

You found yourself smiling as you spotted the perfect bench under a giant oak tree and you snagged it before anyone else could, setting out your lunch and deciding to people-watch instead of scrolling your phone like you usually did during your hour-long lunch.

The park was full of people, mostly kids playing around, some runners and bike riders, and of course, many couples holding hands and taking pictures as the sun beamed down on them.

You smiled at the happy couples feeling joy blooming in your chest.

You had been happy all week which was totally due to the sudden nice weather and definitely not because you had not stopped thinking of that night with Jungkook.

Nope, that wasn't it at all.

You were so lost in your thoughts of that night that you hardly noticed your phone vibrating on your lap.

You scooped it up last minute and saw someone was calling you

more specifically an unknown number was calling you

“Hello?” You answered settling into the bench and throwing your head back to let the rays of sun that were peaking through the branches hit your face.

“Hey Y/N right?” Came a suave male voice you sort of recognized.

“Yes, this is her.” You answer trying to match his suaveness.

“It's Kim Seokjin. How are you?”

You jolt your head up so fast the world spins for a moment.

You really thought you'd be used to this by now but you still felt your heart race in your chest at the prospect that he was reaching out to you.

Tae never said who would contact you when so it was always a surprise.

“I'm good just on my lunch break how about you?” You ask trying to seem as chill as possible.

“Good we are just on a break here and I figured I'd reach out.” He says voice dropping low which has your eyebrow quirking up and arousal flooding your veins.

“Hmm and what did you want to reach out about?” You almost purr which has him softly chuckling on the other line.

“Well as you are very aware we have a tour coming up and there are things I'd like to do before we leave, things that make me feel less stressed you know.” He teases which has your thighs clenching together.

You pushed your hair back from your face and smiled deviously.

“And what would those things be hmm?” You inquire biting at your lips.

“Well, so here's the thing.” He says, his voice no longer an octave lower, and has you sitting up in your seat.

“I have a reservation booked at Lalune tomorrow night and wanted to know if you wanted to go with me. I know one of the chefs and he told me to come anytime but we have our tour coming up so I want to go before I leave. What do you say?”

You are speechless

Lalune was known as one of the top-end restaurants and was rated the best restaurant for the past three years. It was in a fancier part of the city and you had walked by it before. You remembered seeing people sitting at small quaint tables lined with black tablecloths drinking and eating food that was probably half your rent. There was a massive fireplace and a giant chandelier with small crescent moons hanging from it. The place screamed money and you never thought you'd even be allowed to step foot in there.

“I...um? Are you sure?” You ask as you fiddle with your dress pants and top, mentally going through your entire closet to try to remember if you have anything fancy to wear.

“If I wasn't sure I wouldn't ask. Yes, I'm sure. It's always more fun to share a meal with other people. I tried to get Namjoon to come with me but he already has plans...some art thing.” Seokjin explains as you feel your heart hammer in your chest.

“Oh yeah, the new exhibit is supposed to be really cool, about light refraction in art.” You say as you gather your things and head back towards the office.

“Impressive. I'll have to let Namjoon know our girl knows her art.” Seokjin teases as you feel yourself blush.

Our girl

“Anyway please say yes. I'm going to be honest I'm not someone who can just... hook up with someone I don't know. I'd love to take you out to dinner and get to know you better. I don't want you to think I'm using this dinner to get in your pants at all! Like I said earlier it's always fun to eat with company. And if we don't end up hooking up I hope I make a really good friend.” He says which has you smiling as you enter the office.

“Of course, I'll go with you.” You say heading towards the elevator and trying to keep the giddiness in your chest at bay.

“Okay! I'll come pick you up around six! Oh, you're going to love it!” Seokjin says his voice laced with excitement.

You say your goodbyes and hang up and by the time you make it back to your office, you can't stop grinning.

And here you are now.

Standing in front of a mirror wearing a little black dress adorned with gold jewelry. Your hair is pinned up in a half up-do and you are nervously pacing your living room waiting for his car to arrive.

You try your best not to pick at your lips or nails as you wait, instead, you focus on straightening everything out in case he does want to come up after dinner.

Right at six you hear a car outside and race to the window to see a black van with the license plate he texted you earlier.

You hastily grab your bag and your tan pea coat before locking the door to your apartment, your heels click-clacking on the concrete steps as you make your way to the car.

Seokjin is standing outside of it holding the door open and your jaw almost drops.

There is a reason he is called worldwide handsome.

His hair is dark and pushed back from his forehead with a few stay pieces flopping forward giving him an effortlessly disheveled look. He is wearing a black leather jacket with a low-cut black shirt underneath and multiple necklaces. His dress pants are also dark and something about the way he looks makes your heart race fast and your stomach flip in arousal.

“You look beautiful.” He says as a way of greeting you as he helps you into the van and slides in the back seat alongside you.

Before you can comment on how good he looks, the van is already pulling away from the curb and he is talking excitedly about this restaurant and the menu.

You let him chat the whole ride there taking in every word. It was obvious he knew a lot about different foods and different flavor combinations and you soaked it all in as the driver pulled the car in behind the restaurant and Seokjin got out to get your door for you.

A classic gentleman.

“I had the chef get us a private room with a private menu too. I hope you don't mind.” He says as you step out of the vehicle and he takes your hand to lead you to a back door.

He slips his phone out of his jacket and sends a quick text and stares down at you.

“I did mean what I said earlier. You are very beautiful. No wonder Taehyung wouldn't stop talking my ear off until I pushed him to approach you.” He teases which has your jaw-dropping.

“Wait what? I didn't know that.” You respond as the door opens and Seokjin puts a hand on your back to usher you inside.

A waitress takes you down a narrow hallway and soon enough you are in a fairly large room that has the lights dimmed and a couple tables decorated with black tablecloths and small pillar candles that have tiny moons and suns carved into them.

Other couples are sitting at these tables but none of them look up when you and Seokjin get seated at your table.

“This is called the parlor, it's very private and you are only allowed in if you know the chef or the owner.” He explains as he pulls out the chair for you and you graciously sit down.

You stare around the room taking it all in. The fireplace is lit and throwing light around the room which is catching the small stars and moons hanging from the ceiling, their reflections illuminated on the walls.

“This place is amazing. I mean. Wow Seokjin.” You breathe out still taking your time to look around.

He smiles at you in a way that makes you suddenly feel shy.

“Please call me Jin. Seokjin is much too formal.” He says as the waitress from earlier comes back and brings a bottle of wine to the table.

You both drink slowly as you take in the atmosphere and the soft music playing in the background.

“I'm just honored you'd want to take me here. Like genuinely honored.” You say staring at his handsome face and trying not to blush under the low light.

“Well, you are much prettier to look at than Namjoon.” Jin teases as his hand traces the stem of the wine glass and you smirk and shake your head at his boldness.

“So you were there the night Taehyung and I first met?” You ask as your first course gets delivered to the table.

Jin smiles softly and begins to tell the story as you both eat.

Six courses and a bottle of wine later you are feeling full and happy. It turns out you and Jin had a lot to talk about and the conversation and atmosphere were both wonderful.

When the check came Jin slipped his black card to the waitress and smiled softly at you as you finished the last sips of your wine. You wanted to take it easy on the alcohol tonight as you wanted to remember this entire night.

“I'm just going to text the driver to let him know we are finished,” Jin said pulling out his phone and smiling as he typed away.

The parlor slowly started to empty out and after a couple quick messages Jin announced the driver was there and it was time to go.

You stood up and his hand was soft and warm on your back as he directed you out into the hallway and out the back door where the car was already waiting.

Even though spring had arrived the nights were still cool so you wrapped your coat tighter around yourself as Jin rushed forward to open the door for you.

You climbed in with him right behind you and the van made its way back to your apartment.

The drive back was mostly quiet. You watched the city lights from the window as Jin typed on his phone. You weren't offended at all, instead, you were grateful for the silence as you tried to remember every single detail of tonight and commit it to memory.

“Sorry, Namjoon is sending me pictures of the exhibit to show me what I'm missing out on,” Jin said with a laugh as he showed you his phone and the very artsy pictures Namjoon had taken.

“Looks nice.” You say slowly resting your head on his shoulder, feeling sleepy from all the food.

“Better than a dinner date with me?” He teases as he fishes his arm out from your body to wrap it around your shoulders.

“That depends. Would the exhibit have that great toffee dessert we had?” You tease as the car pulls up to your apartment.

Jin laughs at your joke and you slowly remove your head from his shoulder when you feel the car stop.

“I know the exhibit wouldn't but maybe your apartment would? Should I come inside to check?” Jin answers smoothly as your eyes widen and you nod.

He smirks at you.

You both make your way into the apartment and you kick off your shoes as Jin looks around. You let him take his time as you shuck off your coat and begin to walk around turning on lamps to cast the space in a warm cozy glow.

“This space is beautiful! Except there is something wrong with your couch.” He says as he also takes off his shoes and shucks off his jacket.

You stare at the couch seeing absolutely nothing wrong with it.

“What do you mean?” You ask him still staring at the couch confused.

“There's a Tata plush on it.” Jin points out and you bite back a laugh.

The day after Jungkook came over you found a strange white package on your doorstep. You didn't order anything but it had your address on it so you carefully tore it open to see a small Tata plush wrapped in tissue paper and bubble wrap.

You shook your head at Taehyung's antics and grinned when you saw a note fall out.

Just a reminder of who was here first baby girl. Missing you

You texted Taehyung thanking him for the gift and he sent a kissy emoji back. You decided to keep Tata on your couch as decoration from then on.

“Yeah, Tae sent that to me as a kind of joke.” You answer as Jin walks over and he rolls his eyes.

“It should be an RJ plush. So much better you know.” He teases with a tilt of his eyebrow.

You laugh as he pulls you in closer and your breath hitches. He is even more beautiful up close as his warm hands wrap around your middle bringing you flush against his strong chest.

You smile up at him and before you know it he pulls you even closer causing your noses to brush and his lips to meet yours halfway.

You kiss him softly and slowly, letting him take control as he takes his time exploring your mouth. His hands run up and down your back making goosebumps rise on your skin.

He pushes harder against you and you gasp which gives him time to lick at the seam of your mouth. You feel your body tingle with desire when you run your hands up and down his broad shoulders and his hands tangle in your hair.

His hand comes up to cup your jaw and hold it steady as he very slowly tilts your head back so your jaw and neck as exposed to his soft lips.

His kisses are warm against your skin and he sucks light marks into your neck which has you pushing your body into his.

When he sucks harder his name falls from your lips in a drawn-out moan and he pulls away grinning at you.

“I wanted to do that since the moment I first saw you.” He admits as you blush under his gaze.

He confidently grabs your hand and takes you through your apartment until you are both standing in the bathroom.

You can't help but laugh.

“Jin my bedroom is the next door over.” You say as he steps towards you until your body is flush against the bathroom counter.

Jin's eyes are dark and his tongue darts out to lick at his lips.

“I was thinking we could fuck right here. If you'd be up for that.” He responds darkly as you shiver under his gaze and he grabs your arm to spin you around so you are facing your own reflection.

“You mean shower sex?” You almost whisper as you can feel the tension in the room rise. His eyes are dark and staring into yours through the mirror as his hands come up to trace your curves over your dress.

“I mean I want to fuck you against this mirror so you can watch how good I make you cum.” He answers as you shiver and nod.

“Use your words, princess.” He demands as his hand plays with the zipper at the top of your dress. Your eyes are blown wide with lust and you answer him, your eyes never leaving his piercing stare through the mirror.

He chuckles and his hand tugs on the zipper of your dress. He takes his time dragging it down, so slowly you are squirming when he finally gets it zipped down to your hips.

“Step out of it for me princess.” He commands as you comply and kick the fabric out the door.

“God your body is perfect.” He mutters as his hands explore your body. He takes his time with you, hands lightly grazing your skin making goosebumps appear as he unclips your bra and throws it to the floor.

His hands replace the bra as he cups your breasts and lets his thumbs flick over your sensitive nipples and you arch your back into his body as a moan falls from your lips.

“Such a pretty girl.” Jin coos as his hands massage and grope at your breasts. You grip the counter for support and your eyes roll back when he pinches a nipple between two fingers.

“And so responsive too.”

You don't bother to answer instead you let him explore your body. His hands begin to massage the underside of your breasts and soon enough they are moving down to your underwear.

You tilt your head back to rest it on his shoulder and try to keep your eyes open to stare at what is happening through the mirror.

You have never had an out-of-body experience before but you feel like this is as close as you'd ever be to getting on.

“Can I take these off?” He asks motioning to your underwear and you nod frantically.

As he did with your dress he takes his time taking off your underwear, sliding them painfully slowly down your butt and thighs until you can take them off and kick them out of the way.

You are stark naked in front of him and he is grinning at you like he just won the lottery.

“Gotta be honest. I'm really glad Namjoon couldn't attend tonight. This view. Better than any art exhibit.” He says as he places a soft kiss on your shoulder and you melt into his touch.

You whine out his name and his eyes snap to yours in the mirror reflection.

“Didn't I tell you, princess? You have to use your words.” He teases as his hands run up and down your hips and you once again arch back into him, delighted to feel his hard-on pressing against your back.

The feeling of his hard cock trapped in his slacks has you gasping as Jin continues to pepper kisses along your shoulders, his hands still exploring the expanse of your naked body.

“Want to see you too Jin. Wanna see you naked.” You whimper as his lips leave your neck and he grins at you through the reflection.

He takes his time taking off his necklaces and placing them on the counter and when he finally gets his shirt over his head you gasp.

His body is tanned and toned. His shoulders look even broader without a shirt and you can't stop your eyes from wandering down to the very obvious bulge in his pants.

“Pants too. Wanna make you cum.” You plead as you try to spin around to help him take off his belt but he's too strong and keeps you caged against the counter, his breath fanning over the shell of your ear as he pushes his hard cock into your back, keeping you pinned.

“Let me make you cum first.” He says as his hands start to move towards your core which is soaked with arousal.

You spread your legs to give him better access and he chuckles against the damp skin of your neck.

“I wanna eat you out. Is that okay?” He asks as his hand finally comes to your center and he drags his finger through your arousal.

You throw your head back and whine loudly as Jin's finger comes up to play with your aching clit.

“Please. Fuck. Please Jin.” You beg as he smiles and swipes your arousal on his finger and pops it in his mouth.

You watch him suck his index finger and wink at you and you are pretty sure you have acceded and gone to heaven.

Once he cleans his finger he grabs your hips to angle them backwards and grabs a bath towel to kneel on.

You step back to give him some room to kneel in front of you and grip onto the counter for support.

“I told you I wanted you to watch yourself cum. Your eyes close. I stop.” He says as he presses warm kisses up your thighs and you spread your legs wide.

He doesn't give you a chance to answer as he dives right in and starts to lick at your pussy.

You groan and try your best to keep your eyes open as he licks and sucks at your clit, making pleasure shoot through your veins and your legs shake.

His hands come around to grab at your ass and push your pussy onto his face and you struggle to stay upright when he switches between long strokes and quick ones.

“Eyes open love.” He reminds you before diving right back in.

His hands are kneading your ass and trying to hold you steady as you are a mess of moans above him. Everything feels so sensitive and so good and you know you aren't going to last as long as you would like to.

His tongue circles your clit and your hand reaches down to card though his feather-soft hair. His eyes lock on yours and he dares to wink at you as he eats you out with such precision you are sure your neighbors are going to put in a noise complaint.

You feel the coil of pleasure getting tighter and you try to hold off. You try to savor it as much as possible and not cum on his tongue after only a short while of him eating you out.

But of course, Jin is not having any of that and he pulls his tongue away and quickly replaces it with his long fingers.

One finger enters you and you feel your eyes flutter closed at the sensation.

You snap your eyes open when he delivers a harsh slap to your thigh and you stare down at him in shock.

“I only had one rule princess. Come on now keep those pretty eyes open for me. Watch how good I make you feel.” He demands as you steel yourself and try your best to keep your eyes locked on your reflection.

Something about watching yourself get pleasured is super erotic. You've never watched yourself have sex but seeing your nipples tighten, seeing how your body shakes when he curls a finger deep inside and adds his mouth to your clit which has you moaning and grinding your pussy on his face is super erotic and bringing you close to release.

“Jin. Fuck. Close. So close.” You cry out as your hands tangle in his hair and he adds in another finger and begins to scissor them, stretching you out as his tongue laps at everything your body is giving him.

Your toes curl against the tile floor and you cry out his name as you cum. You arch your pussy into his face and try your best to keep your eyes open as you ride out your high.

One hand is gripping his hair the other is gripping the sink and your legs shake uncontrollably when you realize he is not stopping.

“Jin.” You pant out, voice shaky and fucked out as he removes his hands but is still lapping at your clit at lightning speed.

“Too-mu-much Jin, please. Fuck.” You beg out as you stare at him in awe. He is not stopping and you can already feel the overstimulation take over as your legs shake violently.

You are on fire and you try warning him that it's too much. That you cannot handle another orgasm but the words are punched out of you when another orgasm steamrolls its way through your body.

Your eyes close as you ride his face and he pulls you even closer to him as he laps and sucks at your dripping core, cleaning up all of your desire.

Your hand leaves his hair to grip at the counter for dear life and you slump down pressing your naked torso against it and try your best to calm your breathing.

Your legs are shaky and unstable as Jin gets up from the floor to hold you steady as you come down from your high.

Once you feel stable you open your eyes to peer at him and you whine when you see your arousal coating his plump pink lips. He grins at you and releases your body as he works his belt open and pulls his pants down.

His boxers are dark blue but you can still see a pre-cum stain on the front as he pulls them down and lets his hard cock slap up against his abdomen.

“You gotta. You gotta give me a minute.” You pant out as you watch his hand circle his cock and lazily pump it.

“That was so hot.” He said as he continued to pump his cock and watch you through the mirror.

His hair was sweaty and pushed back, his eyes were wide and dark with arousal and his lips were pink and glossy from your cum.

And his cock

God his cock.

Standing hard and proud in his hand as he jerked himself slowly, thumb flicking over the head to smear pre-cum down the shaft.

He was beautiful.

“Gotta warn a girl before you make her cum twice.” You tease as he comes to stand next to you and you swat his hand away.

You circle his cock with your own hand and copy the movements he was doing earlier.

His dark eyes flutter closed when you rub your thumb over the slit and you squeeze his cock a little harder which has him groaning.

“Keep your eyes open Jin. Don't you wanna see how pretty you look when you cum?” You tease as his eyes open and he glares at you through the mirror.

“Smart mouth huh? I should put it to good use and shut you up.” He utters which has you pumping his cock harder.

“I mean if you want me to suck your cock you could just ask. Use your words.” You mock as he swats your hand away and steps behind you, pressing his hard cock against your ass.

“I'd rather cum in your pussy than cum in your mouth.” He says.

“Then do it.” You goad as you arch back pushing your ass into his cock teasingly.

Just as he is about to reach for his pants you move to the side to slide open the cupboard that is above your toilet. Mostly it has medicine and some everyday makeup products but you also keep condoms in there just in case.

His eyebrows raise in surprise when you hand him the foil packet and he opens it and rolls the condom down his hard cock with ease.

He positions the tip of his cock at your entrance and you whine as he runs it up and down your slit.

“Jin don't tease.” You beg as his free hand comes up to squeeze at your breast again.

He doesn't respond, instead, he continues to tease at your slit with the head of his cock, soaking it in your juices and making you whine and push your hips back, trying to get him to enter you.

“Jin I swear to god.” You threaten as he laughs at your impatience and finally slips himself inside.

The stretch is tight and he takes his time inching into you until his torso is flush against your back and you both are panting hard, staring at your reflections.

“Fuck Jin.” You whine as you bow forward head hanging low as you take deep breaths to try to calm down the sting.

Slowly he brings a hand up to your left shoulder and pushes on it so you are forced to lean back into his body, your head thrown back so it rests on his shoulder as you open your eyes to see him staring at you in absolute awe.

“Relax around me, princess. That's it.” He praises you as he draws patterns on your bare skin and kisses your shoulders.

“God you are so beautiful. Keep those eyes open for me. Want you to see how good you look when you take my cock.” He mutters as you very slowly start to push back on his cock to move him inside of you.

“And you're....fuck... Jin.” You moan out as he starts to shallowly thrust inside of you. His hands come to rest on your hips for support as he takes his time with you, letting you adjust to his cock.

“Handsome? Yeah, I know.” He teases with a sly grin as you roll your eyes at him.

“Is that why you wanted to fuck in front of a mirror. So you could stare at yourself?” You say as you shoot your hips back to keep in time with his shallow thrusts.

“Nah I wanted to stare at you. My reflection is just an added bonus.” He responds as you smack his arm and laugh.

“There you go princess your relaxing against me.” He says as his thrusts start to pick up the pace and you whine and feel your eyes start to roll in the back of your head.

“Jin. Please just fuck me.” You beg out feeling the uncomfortable stretch be replaced by slow delicious pleasure.

He looks at you in the mirror and you nod before he grips your hips and fucks up into you.

You whine out as he starts to build at a steady pace. The sound of slapping skin echoes in the bathroom and you push back in time to meet his thrusts.

“God your pussy is so good.” He grits out as he angles his hips and hits that spot inside of you that has you crying out his name and fluttering your eyes closed at the sensation.

“Eyes open love.” He demands that it takes everything in you to open your eyes and stare at yourself in the mirror.

His cock is fucking into you and hitting your g-spot with every thrust. It's not long before you feel the coil of pleasure starts to build again. Your hand grips the counter and you can see the faint blush on your chest and cheeks as he fucks up into you.

Jin looks so beautiful behind you. His body is covered in a sheen of sweat and his hair is pushed back from his forehead. His lips are bitten in concentration and his hands are holding your hips roughly as he picks the pace.

“Fuck.” You cry out when you feel his free hand come down to smack your ass. He starts to fuck into you harder spurred on by your moans and whines.

“Please Jin fuck.” You cry out not even sure what you are begging for as you feel yourself get closer and closer to the edge.

He must understand because one arm wraps around your chest and pulls you back into him so your bodies are flushed together once more, and the other hand snakes down between your legs to find your clit.

You cry out when he circles your clit with his skilled fingers and you are grateful he is holding you tight against him because you are so sure if you were to stand on your own you would fall to the floor.

“God baby you're squeezing me so tight. Gonna cum soon? Cum around my cock like a good princess?” He asks as you cry out and feel arousal shoot through your body at an alarming pace.

Your body is on fire with need and when he pinches your clit between two deft fingers you lose it. You throw your head back and cry out his name as you cum around his hard cock. You try your best to keep your eyes open and watch as you come undone around him.

Sweet whines and moans fall from your lips as he continues to pump inside you as your walls flutter around his cock and squeeze him.

“C-Close.” He groans out and you can hardly hear him over the blood pounding in your ears he grabs your hips and starts to fuck up into you at a wild pace which has you moaning and whining his name, not long after you feel him twitch inside of you and cum hard inside the condom.

The feeling alone has your toes curling against the floor and you gasping as Jin rides out his high with his face pushed into your back and small pants and whines leaving his plush parted lips.

How long you both stood there you weren't sure, his arms were still wrapped around you holding you upright and the room reeked of sex and desire as you both waited for your breathing to even out.

After a short while he pulled his already softening cock out of you and disposed of the condom in your garbage pail.

You stared at him through the reflection and smiled shyly as you both reached for your clothes.

You dressed in silence letting the euphoria wash over you both and once you were dressed you were walking him to the door.

He put on his shoes and grabbed his coat and you smiled up at him. He pulled you in for a soft and slow kiss which had your heart once again racing.

Gone was the fiery need and desire and instead this kiss was slow and sweet. He took his time exploring your lips as if it was the first time you both were kissing and that thought alone had you smiling against his mouth.

He pulled away and grinned down at you, a cute pink flush covering his cheeks.

“Thank you for dinner.” You said to him softly.

“Thank you for...well thank you. That was...wow.” He replied running a hand through his hair and pressing another kiss to your cheek.

His phone vibrated in his pocket as he pulled away and he smiled at you.

“That's my ride the driver must already be here.” He said softly.

You nodded as he gave you another soft kiss and promised to text you again.

When you woke up the next morning you were convinced the whole thing was a dream, the only proof of it happening was the ache between your legs and the dress that was pooled on your bedroom floor because, after your night with Jin, you were too tired to properly hang it up.

You got ready for work and just as you were about to leave someone knocked on your door.

Confused you answered it to see the mailman standing there with a package for you to sign. It was a box, a large box.

“I didn't order anything?” You said in absolute confusion as the man double-checked the address and handed you the box.

You closed the door and set it down on the counter. You grabbed for the kitchen scissors to open the box and when you did you laughed in surprise.

The box was full, and I mean full of RJ memorabilia.

A note was taped to the top of the box which made you shake your head and grin.

Found something better to replace that tata on your couch. Thank you for last night- Jin. 

Tag List

@take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d

@m00njinnie

@minghaosimp

[peachsukii]

Burn Out

『♡』  pro-hero fem!reader  x pro-hero bakugo ╰➤ ꒰ pro-hero au | engaged | aged to 23 | bakugo POV! ꒱ -`✧ katsuki bakugo masterlist 

summary: Japan’s #4 Hero, Dynamight, is holding (forced by his agency) a meet and greet with fans - for the fifth time this year - by popular demand. The only difference? It’s three hours longer than the previous four. tags & warnings: fluff, soft bakugo, pro-hero bakugo, reader has a quirk & is also a pro hero, reader & bakugo are engaged! a/n: i thought the idea of reader waiting in line every time he has a meet and greet was such a cute gesture and relaxes him when he’s overwhelmed by fans :) ꒰ Ao3 version | word count; 1,300 ꒱

“I really gotta do this shit for 4 hours?!”

“Sorry, Dynamight. It’s standard hours for meet and greets, plus you get the exposure to retain popularity amongst the public.”

God, what a fuckin’ joke.

How the hell does Deku do this all the time? I’m not a people person, end of story. I’ll sign shit and let them sell it, but actually meeting people? My goddamn nightmare. Especially the damn fan girls, they’re rabid fuckin’ animals. I hate when people only see me a piece of goddamn meat and not a top rated hero.

“Why are you still here?” This agency lady is really pissin’ me off. What the hell else does she want from me?

“Just going over the logistics. You’ll be hosting at a store in Shibuya Crossing from 1PM to 5PM tomorrow. You’ll be doing signatures on pre-approved official photos. We’ll meet at the agency at noon and you’ll get suited up.”

I hate these stupid publicity pricks.

“Can’t I just sign ‘em and you sell ‘em? I really gotta do it in person?”

“No can do, you know the process by now. The hours are just extended to allow as many fans access as we can.”

Why the fuck do fans need “access” to me? They don’t. I’ve got better shit to do.

“Whatever. See ya tomorrow.”

───

It’s almost 1PM and I’m already fuckin’ over being here. Nonstop “do this, not that,” “don’t take too long,” “don’t accept large gifts,” blah blah blah. It’s a damn signing, not a conference, I shouldn’t need to follow some stupid rule book.

“Before settling in for a grueling four goddamn hours, I gotta call my fiancé.”

“Make it fast, you’re set to start in 15.”

Was it an excuse to talk to her? Hell yeah it was. I didn’t need to call her for shit, I needed to get the hell away from that agency lady before I said shit I can’t take back.

Really wish she could sit here with me instead of with the agent with stick up her ass.

───

[y/n] Hey babe, what’s up? I thought your meet and greet was happening now? [Bakugo] Yeah, in 15 minutes. I needed to step out before I sit here for four fuckin’ hours. What are you up to? Sounds like you’re outside or somethin’. [y/n] Nothing really, grocery shopping and boring stuff. Are you nervous? [Bakugo] Me, nervous? Fuck no. I just don’t wanna be here for that long. It’s exhausting. [y/n] I don’t blame you, the last few were much shorter. Do you need me to bring you anything? [Bakugo] Even if you did, I don’t think they’d let me take it from ya. [y/n] That’s so annoying. It’s not like I’m a stranger. [Bakugo] Y’would think so. Fu-dammit, sorry baby, but I gotta cut ya short. This agency bitch has been breathin’ down my neck all week. [y/n] It’s alright. Make sure those fan girls don’t take all of you, I still want my share of the number 4 hero! [Bakugo] Hah, y’know you’re the only one who gets that. I’ll talk to you later baby, love you. [y/n] Love you too, good luck!

───

I. Am. So. Fucking. Tired.

If I hear another person screech over me just looking at them? I’m gonna lose my damn mind - and it’s only 2:30PM.

“Dynamight! You’re my favorite hero, thank you for signing this!”

At least most of the kids that showed up weren’t loud and annoyin’ brats.

“Thanks, appreciate th’ support.”

I’ve signed my name so many damn times that it’s starting to look like gibberish. They wouldn’t even let me use a stamp or some shit like that. Y’think that would appeal to their “access” plan if more people could come and go if it meant signing this shit faster.

───

3:45PM.

Fifteen. More. Minutes.

Exhausted is a goddamn understatement. I don’t wanna talk to anyone for the next 24 hours when this is over.

I’m grabbing the next poster from the agent, tunnel visioned on gettin’ the fuck outta here, when a familiar voice catches my attention.

“Hiya Dynamight!”

I can’t help but laugh. Did she really stand in line this whole time?

“The hell you doin’ here?”

She’s dressed head to toe in my merch - sweatshirt from the winter line, joggers from the athletic set, even her damn shoes are the limited release sneakers from the crossover line with Deku.

“Just supporting my favorite hero. I’d love if you could personalize my poster.”

God, I love this woman.

“Hah, y’got it.”

To my favorite hero, y/h/n, my shining star - love, dynamight

I slide it over the table to her and the look on her face is priceless. Her smile never fails to brighten my day, no matter how shitty it is. Really feels like no one else is here but her in the moment.

“This’ll be worth at least $50 online. Thanks!”

“Hey! That’s special, idiot.”

“I’m kidding, Ka-Dynamight.”

“Did ya wait in line this whole time?”

“I did! I wasn’t shopping earlier, I was in line for you. I wanted to support my soon-to-be husband.”

The high school girl behind her makes a face when she says “husband.” It’s not like our engagement is a damn secret. Can’t help but shoot her a dirty look, hoping she gets the “fuck off” memo.

“Dynamight, 5 minutes until we wrap.”

“Back off! It’s my damn fiancé. I’ll take as long as I want.”

All I wanna do is jump over this table, throw her over my shoulder and blast our way home. Dive onto the couch, crammed together against the cushions and pass the fuck out to the sound of TV static.

“It’s okay, I’ll let you go.”

She leans over the table to whisper, “I’ll see you at home, baby. Love you!”

I don’t really care who hears. I shouldn’t have to fuckin’ whisper to my soon-to-be wife in public.

“Love you too. Thanks, sweets. You’re the best.”

Fuck, her ass looks damn good in those joggers. I’ll never get tired of watching her walk away. The way she sways her hips when she walks is dangerous game for me.

“Alright, Dynamight. Last one.”

Thank fucking god.

“Hey, thanks for-”

“Was that your fiancé?”

These damn high school girls are such a pain in the ass.

“…yes. What of it?”

“Isn’t she, like, number 42 or something super low ranked?”

Not fallin’ for whatever shit she’s trying to pull. I sign the poster and slide it over to her, hoping she shuts the hell up and leaves.

“What, I can’t get a personalized photo like her?”

Well, she asked for it.

“Fine, give it back.”

number 42 and still better than you. fuck you - dynamight

I shove the poster back to her roughly on purpose, crinkling the edge against her stupid long claws-for-nails that were tapping impatiently on the table.

“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Learn some damn manners.”

I don't feel any remorse as the stupid agent starts scolding me for "mistreating fans." The brat had it comin', what can I say?

"I'm outta here. Later."

"Wait, Dynamight, you need to -"

"No, I don't. Not my problem. I'm done."

───

Finally, home sweet home. "Hey baby, I'm home."

"Hey Kats! Made you some early dinner on the stove and the blanket is nice and toasty for you."

When did she even have time to do that? It's only been 45 minutes.

"Damn, what are ya, superwoman?"

"Hah, I wish. Have you checked your phone yet?"

"...No, why?"

She laughs. "#dynamight is trending again. Somethin' about you signing 'fuck off' on a fan's poster?"

Oops.

"Yeah, well I -"

"Fuck her, she's lucky I didn't smack her upside the head."

And that's why I'm marrying her.

Just a cute little "Bakugo hates people" fluff lol

[lyzsaphrodite]

༊*·˚ Home is Where the Heart is ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

Dior Goodjohn x fem!reader

synopsis: You and Dior are long distanced and she decides to surprise you by coming to visit you for your birthday.

warnings: fluff, fluff, and fluff

a/n: this is not my best writing ever i just wanted to get this out while i work on the Summer fic

You and Dior have been in a long-distance relationship for about a year and a half now. You met on the set of Percy Jackson and instantly clicked; she ended up asking you out two months into filming. After season one wrapped, she went back home to LA, and you returned to your hometown. You haven't seen each other in person since filming wrapped six months ago, because you're still in school. You guys text multiple times a day and FaceTime at least once a day, but it's still hard for both of you. Especially for you since your love language is physical touch, and you just like to have physical connections with people. Your birthday was coming up, so Dior thought it would be an amazing idea if she came and surprised you. She planned it all out with your family; she would fly in on your actual birthday and stay for a month.

Today was finally your birthday. You woke up to look at your phone and found a bunch of birthday wishes from friends, family, and even fans. But none from the person that mattered most to you. You didn't think she would ever forget your birthday. Maybe she just wasn't awake yet, even though it was currently noon, which means it was 9 in LA, and she's always up before 9. But you just decided not to worry about it. You still had the whole day. You were really bummed that she wouldn't be able to come for your birthday, but you understand that she's busy with her music and everything. You got out of bed, took a shower, and got ready for the day. You and your best friend decided to go shopping for your birthday. You visited all your favorite stores, getting all of your birthday freebies. By the time you and your best friend headed home, it was around 4 o’clock, and you've yet to get a message from Dior, which made you visibly disappointed. Your best friend kept seeing you checking your messages every few minutes and finally decided to say something.

“I’m sure she didn't forget; you know her, she's always busy with something.”

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure everyone but her has wished me a happy birthday though. Like even at the mall, those fans who came up to us to say happy birthday, I didn't even know them. And I thought she would be one of the first to say it.”

You finally arrived home and went straight upstairs to put your bags down and take off your shoes. You were home for around 30 minutes when you finally heard the doorbell ring.

“Y/N, someone's here for you,” your mom yelled. You had no clue who it could be; you weren't expecting anyone.

“Coming!” you yelled back to your mom. You hurried down the stairs to the front door, and standing there was Dior with her bags and a gift. She looks just as beautiful as she always does.

“Hey, baby,” she said, smiling.

You had absolutely no idea how to react; you were definitely not expecting this at all. You ran to her and jumped to hug her. As she held and hugged you, you started to tear up.

“I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.”

“What are you doing here? I thought you weren't able to come.”

“I wanted to surprise you, sweet girl.”

“How long are you staying?”

“For a month.”

“Oh my gosh, no way!”

“Way!”

“OMG, and Mom, you knew about this?”

Your mom just smiled and nodded.

“Yep, and so did your best friend.”

“OMG!! I cannot believe this; I thought you forgot my birthday!”

“I could never forget your birthday, mamas.”

You and Dior share a passionate kiss, the weight of her surprise visit lifting a heavy burden off your shoulders. In that moment, all the worries and doubts melted away, replaced by the warmth of her presence. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The month that followed was a whirlwind of joy and reconnection. Every day felt like a treasure, filled with laughter, adventures, and stolen moments of affection. Whether it was exploring your hometown together, cooking meals side by side, or simply cuddling on the couch watching movies, every second was cherished. On the day of her departure, you stood at the airport, hand in hand, hearts heavy with the weight of impending separation.

"I wish we lived closer," you managed to say, your voice breaking slightly as you fought back tears, the airport's din muffling your words.

Dior's eyes softened, mirroring the sorrow in your own as she squeezed your hand gently. "I know, darling. It's hard saying goodbye every time," she murmured, her voice tinged with empathy.

You leaned into her embrace, seeking solace in the warmth of her presence amidst the impersonal hustle of the airport. "I hate it when you leave," you stated simply, your voice carrying a mix of longing and frustration, the airport's commotion providing a stark backdrop to your heartfelt confession.

Dior's arms wrapped around you, holding you close as if trying to shield you from the pain of separation. "I feel it too, love. It never gets any easier," she whispered, her breath warm against your ear.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you buried your face in her shoulder, the weight of longing settling heavily in your chest. "I just wish we could be together more often," you confessed, your voice barely audible above the noise of the crowd.

Dior's fingers brushed through your hair soothingly, her touch a silent reassurance. "Me too, sweetheart. But no matter the distance, you'll always have my heart," she vowed, her words a promise of enduring love.

And as you stood together in the midst of the bustling airport terminal, surrounded by the chaos of departure, you found solace in the simple act of being together, knowing that no matter where life may take you, your love would always be a constant, guiding light in the darkness.

this is unusually short because I didn't know how to end it

taglist: @asvterias

[monzabee]

the lusty month of may – cs55 (+18)

masterlist

Summary: The one where it’s that darling month when everyone throws self-control away, and you and Carlos decide to do a wretched thing – or two. 

Pairing: carlos sainz x reader

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (cover your willy, don’t be silly), pre-established relationship, cursing, google translate spanish bc i forgot all the spanish i learned in school (lo siento mucho, señora xenia), talks about pregnancy, minors dni!!

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! okay so this was not supposed to take me this long to write, but i kind of procrastinated because of studying and my exams, but here it is, finally done! i fully blame carlos for my brain rot, so i hope you guys enjoy this one, and feedback is always appreciated! (p.s. the title comes from a song from the broadway musical ‘camelot’ for those of you who are interested!) good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

His hand is closed over your mouth in a feasible attempt to cover up any pleas or sounds coming from your lips. You tried telling him no when he started pulling you towards the greenhouse behind the villa his family rented out for the weekend. It was supposed to help Carlos destress before leaving for Miami for the rest of the triple header, a long weekend, “A quick little getaway,” his mother called it. Carlos lets out some built-up steam, alright, by fucking you every chance he gets over the course of the 4-day vacation. 

“You know what it does to me when you wear this dress, amorita,” Carlos’ breath hits your sweaty skin as he runs his nose down the length of your throat, “maybe I should rip it when I’m done with you, hm? De esa manera no puedes tentarme más.” That way you can't tease me anymore. You try shaking your head as a response which elicits a mocking chuckle from him, the way he bucks his hip driving him further deep inside you. The strangled moan that rips from the back of your throat has you throwing your head back, which causes Carlos to quickly, but gently, tug on your chin to make you look back up at him. “Eyes on me, cariño.” 

His hips continue their rushed movements as he keeps his eyes locked to yours, your lips opening in an attempt to make him see reason. “Carlos, they’ll hear us.” You think he’ll ignore you once again, like he did when he was frantically pulling you away from the pathway which leads to the courtyard both of you were supposed to be making your way over for dinner with his parents. 

With one last thrust of his lips, which pulls yet another moan from your lips. “I won’t let anyone see you like this; you know that don’t you?” His tone is sweet despite the way he’s breathing deeply in an attempt to organise his breathing, the way he uses the tip of his pointer finger to caress down your blushed cheek, sending shivers down your spine. Although you manage to nod your head, there is a small smile on his lips as he reminds you, “Words, amorita.”

“I- I know that,” you breathe out a ragged breath, hand gripping Carlos’ shirt tighter in the process, “you’re far too jealous to let anyone see.” 

“Always such wits, amor,” he drags the tip of his finger towards your lips, “maybe I’ll just have to fuck you harder to remind you how much you love my possessive side.” 

“You are insane,” you pant, letting out another moan when he shifts his hips to continue his movements even deeper, “is that why you pulled me here? To fuck me into the wall because you were jealous?” 

His voice is hoarse against your skin as he drags his hand down your face to your neck towards your chest to grope your breast. “I made you a promise, remember?” 

And you do. You remember the hushes whispers and promises shared before the New Year’s, and the sweet kiss you’ve shared afterwards. Your eyes soften as realisation sinks in, his determined gaze on yours suddenly making more sense. His hand is rough as he kneads the skin of your breast, his fingers quickly find your pebbled nipple, which has you whining. “I do- I do remember.” You manage to get out as you do your best to focus on his command from earlier. 

“Good, so be a good girl for me and hang on tight, hm?” He gives you enough time for you to organise yourself; your hands grab the flower arranging table underneath you firmly and it makes you receive a pleased hum from him as he keeps up the movement of his hips whilst also making you wrap your legs around him, a hand firmly placed on your upper thigh. “Eyes on me, cariño.” He reminds you.

You comply, of course, and his thrusts keep getting deeper and deeper every time his hips finds yours because of the new position. There is nothing innocent about the way the sounds of your skin slapping off of each other echo in the stuffy greenhouse, mixed with your moans calling out his name over and over again. He knows you well enough to know your tells when you’re getting closer, and he knows your body well enough to know that you won’t be able to hang on for too long. 

The way you scream out Carlos’ name when you feel his fingers drawing circles on your clit is nothing short of animalistic, the way he whispers praises to your lips is lost to you as you feel yourself getting closer to your release. “Carlos,” his name leaves your mouth in a desperate moan, followed by a softer and more pleading, “Carlos, please.” 

“Ask me nicely, amor.” His smile is almost devilish as he mumbles the words to your lips, his fingers slowing down their movements until you give him what he wants. His free hand tighten around your upper thigh in warning as he adds, “No continuaré si no lo pides amablemente.” I won't continue if you don't ask nicely.

You bite back a snarky comment, hyperaware of the fact that he is a man of his word and will leave you unsatisfied on the table by yourself if you don’t give him what he wants. “Por favor déjame correrme.” Please let me cum. The next moan that comes out of your lips come off more as a broken sob as he resumes his fingers’ movement on your bundle of nerves and his hips speeding up their movements to get you there, and you can’t help but chant “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

The continuous moans that keep coming out of your mouth, in which you are begging him to make you cum causes his hips to continue their movement rather sharply. Your eyes are filled with tears of pleasure as your visions gets blurry, but you make a point to maintain eye contact with Carlos while he guides you through your orgasm. He only lets himself come undone once you’re done, but unintentionally clench around him due to still feeling sensitive. Hearing your name come through his lips in a guttural moan causes you attempt to bring him closer by tightening your legs around him. 

After a few moments of calmness, you whine at the loss of contact as Carlos pulls out slowly, careful enough to not hurt you. Just as he begins tucking himself back to his pants you attempt to fix your own clothing, but he’s quick to stop you as he says, “Stay on the table, cariño.” 

You choose to nod, not trusting your voice. He’s gentle with you as he pulls up your underwear up your legs and fixes the top and the skirt of your dress. You watch him with sleepy eyes as you ask, “Do you think it took this time?”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” he smiles softly at you while getting some of your tangled hair out of your face, “do you think it did?”

“I don’t know,” you mumble, suddenly shy in front of him for no reason – but he is quick to divert the situation by cutting your feet off the ground by carrying you bridal style, which has you squealing as you wrap your arms around his neck, “Carlos!”

 He lets out a laugh a laugh as he walks out of the greenhouse and the colder air outside has you snuggling closer to his body for heat. His voice is light as he mumbles, “Well, this brings back memories.” 

“You say as if our wedding was a decade ago.” You complain, scrunching up your nose in disagreement. You let a confused hum when he starts walking back to the villa. “We’re supposed to–”

“I’ll tell my parents you were feeling ill,” he raises an eyebrow, “unless you want to sit with them for the rest of the night with my cum still–”

“Carlos!” You exclaim, making him quickly drop the rest of the sentence as he stars laughing. “This is not funny, you know.” 

“Oh it is plenty funny, cariño.” Carlos objects, “We can always tell my parents we were trying for a baby.” He is quick to add, “Not, the literal way, loca,” after receiving a bewildered look from you. 

You sigh as you shrug, “I mean, we could.” 

He agrees with a hum, “We’ll talk about it later, now go to sleep, I know you will before I make it back to the room anyway.”

“Mhm, you know me too well.” You mumble as you bury your face into his neck. 

“That I do, cariño.” He mumbles as he presses a gentle kiss to your hair “That I do.”

[papaya-queen]

Teenage Dirtbag babyy !! - F2/3/F1 academy grid

my first smau - please be kind I’m new with the tools

Y/N x Paul Aron - Ollie Bearman x Andrea Kimi Antonelli - Abbi Pulling x Doriane Pin

<3

Later - 3 am

Yourusername

Yourusername I’m just a teenage dirtbag babyyy

tagged : paularon_, olliebearman, kimi.antonelli, racerbia and 6 others

User1 young drivers on social media are a blessing

User2 WAIT IS THAT OLLIE AND KIMI ?!!

            User3 AND DORIANE AND ABBI ?!!

maxverstappen1 stop posting on social media and answer our calls

User4 oh to be a part of that friend group …

<3

Racerbia

Racerbia never let Y/N plan the hangout

tagged : yourusername, olliebearman, kimi.antonelli, paularon_ and 6 others

Yourusername hey !!! It was amazing !

User6 AFTER BEARNELLI AND PINING WE GOT PAULY/N ?!!!

Arvid.lindblad actually the best hangout of my life

            Yourusername finally who someone likes my hangout plan

            Landonorris wait until tomorrow morning

<3

The next day

Sunlight was already picking through the curtains when Y/N woke up. Her head was hurting, like someone was hitting it from inside. She tried to get herself up, but some weight was keeping her pinned against the mattress. She turned her head and saw a blond head she knew too well. Sure, her and Paul were big on physical touch but sleeping like this never happened. She carefully shifted to see the room without letting go of Paul’s embrace.

Y/N observed the room and the people in it. She could recognize Kimi and Ollie on the couch opposed to her, the older spooning the other. She had a moment of confusion, but she knew Kimi and Ollie had always been big on PDA even as friends. She kept looking around, checking if all her friends did make it back to the apartment. Arvid, Dino, Maya and Bianca were all sleeping on the floor with some blanket resting on them. And on the armchair, you could find Abbi and Doriane literally glued to each other, managing to fit in the tight chair. Y/N tried to get up to go eat something but all the moving and shifting in Paul’s arm woke him up.

“Hi princess!” he said with the sleepiest voice ever.

“Hi baby!” she responded, hugging him tighter.

Then she got up, after spending a few minutes convincing Paul to let her go. Y/N walked to the kitchen, open the door and faced Charles, Max, Oscar and Lewis. She brutally closed the door before reopening it. “Good morning, everybody!”

“Good afternoon actually!” Charles pointing the clock on the wall. He was right, it was indeed way past noon. 3pm actually.

“So, what’s the reason for the visit?” said Y/N trying to act cool in front of her 4 grid-dad.

“Humm…You don’t remember last night, do you?” Oscar asked.

“Euuh no …?” She responded.

“Well, we have a little explanation to do when everyone wakes up” Oscar sighed.

Max stood up and entered the living room to shout, “EVERYONE WAKES UP NOW!” The mass of teen made a groaning sound, some of them complaining about their head. There was also some confusion like Abbi and Dorianne who were looking at each other, not understanding the how and why they were like this. Same for Kimi and Ollie. After a couple minutes, the other older driver entered the room and told everyone to sit and listen to them.

“You kids are fucking mental; you should definitely know that! Before we start scolding each of you, do you actually remember what happened yesterday?” Charles was endorsing his role as the principal grid-dad of those kids.

“I remember that we met up here, we drank maybe one or two beers then we went to the bar.” said Kimi, rubbing his eyes.

“Yes, and Y/N picked up a worksite cone and put it on her head.” Gaby completed.

“I remember something about Ollie and Kimi, and Abbi and Dorianne, like they kissed or something like that” Arvid said earning some weird looks from the four.

Bianca finished their story and added “I remember Y/N got stuck on a tree, we called Oscar to help but Paul got her back before he arrived.”

“Well we have a base to work on” Max said pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s actually not that bad, I thought they would black out like completely.” said Lewis.

“So kids, you all got wasted at the bar and started doing random shit, like sitting on rooftops, stealing shopping carts, scooters and you also did some private things, you should check your insta especially Bianca and Y/N” Charles resumed the whole night and let all the teens check on their insta and realized all the things they did while he decided with the others grid-dads to post something to try to peace the situation.

<3

Charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 2 others

Charles_leclerc why did we have to adopt that many teens?

Tagged yourusername, paularon_, olliebearman, kimi.antonelli and 7 others

Olliebearman  we’re sorry dad 😖🥺

            Yourusername speak for yourself

User8 the dads regretting their choice 🤣😭

Paularon_ it hurts but it was amazing

User7 The Bearnelli and PaulY/N pic 🥹

Dinobeganovic_ never let me have alcohol ever again

            Maya_weug same

            Gabrieleminiofficial same

____

well that's it ! I'm kinda proud of this, i hope you're gonna love this as much as me ! byye :)

[ultimate-chickennougat]

| Your Salaryman Husband | (Vol 9)

Vol 1 Vol 2 Vol 3 Vol 4 Vol 5 Vol 6 Vol 7 Vol 8 (Not Required)

Salaryman!Kento x Housewife!Reader

When Nanami accidentally rolls onto you in your sleep...

Word Count: 1.1k

CW: SFW, domestic fluff, fem!Reader, reader wears a nightgown, Nanami is worried, very slightly suggestive.

A/n: This started as Nanami bringing you flowers and ended up as whatever this is?... (I'll do that next volume instead!)

Nanami sat at the dining room table, staring down at the few hours worth of paperwork before him. As per usual he was already burnt out from his work at the office, but of course it didn’t stop there. One of the joys of getting married was making quite a few large purchases, especially since the two of you didn’t live together beforehand. It had you very grateful he already had a car in good condition, as to not add another thing to the list. 

Unfortunately for Nanami, this wasn’t the kind of work he could get done with prior to coming home to you. Instead, he had to piece every budgeting document and report from various companies at home, and you had offered to join him in doing so. It went a lot faster thanks to your help, but seeing you all tired was not something he wanted to come from such menial tasks in his opinion. But the work was almost done, and most of the documents would finalize the purchases and regular payments that the two of you would need to make.

You were well accustomed to handling the household finances, keeping track of how much you spent each week at the grocery store, and trying to cut back on costs through growing vegetables and eating at home as much as possible. The two of you tried to run everything by each other whenever something was purchased, so your insight was very much appreciated by him. 

In between your yawns, Nanami let out a soft chuckle as he flipped through some pages and sat them to the side. After a few hours of jotting down figures, it was quite satisfying to watch them get slid into an envelope, placed into a box, and sealed away to not be touched for (hopefully) the next decade at least, assuming everything was done correctly.

You laid your head gently down onto the table, as Nanami moved his hand to cup your cheek and act as a pillow. Dinner was already cooking in the oven, a simple one-pan dish of vegetables and protein to be paired with fresh fruit you had purchased from the market earlier that day and ice cream as dessert. The scent flowed throughout the house, making you especially hungry, but it mostly lulled you closer to sleep.

Watching his cute little wife so tired and sweet, Nanami wouldn’t have been able to stop a smile from overcoming his face if he tried. In fact it was another thing that he loved about you, how despite being ready sleep in until noon the next day, you still got up and served the two of you dinner, making sure that everything was in place to make the next day go as smoothly as possible. 

The dishes were washed and set out to dry, and both of you changed into your clothes for the night. A pair of simple pajama pants and a loose fitting shirt for Nanami, and a cream colored nightgown for you. After brushing your teeth, you slid into bed with your husband following behind. 

If you weren’t so tired, Nanami would have acted on his urge to smother you with kisses. Instead he settled for just one, right on the lips held there for a couple seconds. To that you protested, “Kento I’m not that tired, you don’t have to go to sleep-,” but he cut you off. “I’m serious you need rest, goodnight my love,” he slipped under the covers, gently spooning you close as you drifted off to sleep. 

However, those urges didn’t seem to subside. Though usually still throughout the night, acting as a cage as you squirmed around, while deep into his own dreams he managed to turn onto his stomach… with you underneath him. Absolutely smooshed into your pillow, you woke up quickly and turned your head to the side to keep your ability to breath well. 

Your husband was large, that you knew, but for that to become a problem was quite rare when it was usually appreciated. It was that and the fact that he was gripping you so tightly, arms crossed over your torso like you would to a stuffed animal, an inescapable hold that still wasn’t yet uncomfortable. You thought about waking Nanami up for a bit, trying to wriggle out of his arms or push him off of you. Breathing wasn’t a problem and you didn’t exactly mind the closeness, though he was a bit heavy… so it took a good half hour for you to finally build up the will to ask him as you started to overheat. 

Ignoring your lack of sleep, by that time you were giggling at the look on his face when he finally woke up and moved. Nanami sat up on the bed, a slight flush to his cheeks and his lips had curled into a frown. “My love, don’t feel bad to wake me up,” he stated sternly, checking to make sure you were okay in a slightly frantic manner. “I’m sorry, Kento, but I’m okay, I promise,” you reasoned with him, to which he shook his head. “Either way I apologize, I’ll try to make sure this doesn’t happen again,” you snuggled back into the blankets, pulling Nanami by the hand so he laid down as well. 

“Are you sure you don’t want water or something? It must have been uncomfortable,” Nanami tried to get up to go grab some, but you remained clinging onto his arm. “I’m okay, it wasn’t bad,” you yawned with a smile, “In fact… I rather liked being so close.” In all your nights of sleeping in the same bed together, now nearing your fourth month of doing so, you never had encountered him doing such a thing. Something to note about what happens when you, his wife, the love of his life, looks a bit too irresistible and he cannot indulge as usual. 

Nanami hummed, letting out a yawn himself. He turned you around to face him, as you closed your eyes. “Like this?” he asked, admiring your face that was tucked into his chest. He breathing slowed down, worry leaving his mind as he relaxed with you. “It’s perfect,” you smiled, “Goodnight, darling.”

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Reader x Konig: I Don't Need You (Ch. 10)

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Summary: Thankfully, things have been resolved between you and Konig. You start to settle in more with your team, and Roze shares a few thoughts with you over a smoke. The memories are still there, but just like the winter around you, they're cold and unwelcoming. You and Konig open up to each other a bit more, more than you had ever opened up to anyone.

WARNINGS: implications of masturbation, cursing, angst (if you squint?), plot building, graphic depictions of animal torture and death (PLEASE CONSIDER ALL WARNINGS BEFORE READING THIS, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME thank you kindly)

Notes: Yes! Hello! I exist!! I've been in a slump, and I really do apologize for that. Many of you have been very patient with me and I love and appreciate you all for it! I had to intake as much CoD literature as I could in the past few weeks to get me motivated, which helped a LOT (not to mention I discovered no fewer than ten works that currently have a hold on my heart). But it's here! I forced myself to write over half of the following chapter so that it would be less daunting to finish up. I also plan to make a wip post for yall, just to share will everyone what goes on in my rat brain.

This was edited at 3 am (god it's 4 am now, i just saw that), so if there are any grammatical or spelling errors you have my full consent to call me out on it! Please enjoy!

(sidenote, I completely didn't research how old you need to be to become a navy SEAL, so reader's age is a bit inaccurate in regards to that. pls ignore lol)

(last sidenote then you can read, does anyone have tips for customizing the layout of their fics? I see so many cool ways to style the font and cute banners and errything but I have no idea how nor what to do)

- - - -

The sky hung low with a blanket of gray. It looked like it was about to snow, although the threat was soon dismissed when noon came around and there wasn’t a single flake. The air was cold and dry, forcing me to zip my jacket up all the way and tuck my nose into the collar. I blew steady, warm breaths into my jacket and tried to soak up the heat into my bones.

It was as if the incident had never happened.

Konig and I ended up driving to the liquor store, which was a blessing, since I had run out of Yeungling (and I didn’t understand enough Turkish to converse with the clerk, nor did I have any of the appropriate money – Konig was graced with both of those necessities). We talked like there had never been a week and a half of silence between us. He talked about how he had nearly forced Ridgeback to drag me out of my room and into the common area, “… but it would have been too early for that.” He commented. That, and I would have rather died.

So life went on as normal: dreary, aside from shooting people and getting shot at. Nonetheless, it was normal, and there was a peace to be found in that.

I leaned against the building to the training room, with Roze to my left. I had intended to come out and soak up whatever natural light I could – when I saw her standing there, possibly trying to do the same, I felt the instinct to play it off as if I was just leaving the building. But she cocked her head in a greeting, and a part of me took an interest in her worry-free aura. Out of everyone, she always seemed to be the least-stressed person in the room, even in the middle of a warzone. It was the balm to my anxious mind that I never knew I needed, but gratefully stood by.

We remained together in a comfortable silence (one I would most definitely would not have been comfortable with a while ago), staring ahead, watching the indecisiveness of the brooding clouds above. I wondered what the rest of the world was doing – if they might have been as calm and carefree as us, or if they were in some kind of peril, and the horrors of it were blocked out by the clouds.

I was drawn back to the present when I heard the click click click of Roze’s lighter. I turned my head and watched as she shielded the weak flame from the wind, lighting the cigarette that hung loosely from her lips.

“You smoke?” I asked.

“Sure do.” She replied nonchalantly. “Want one?” she extended her pack of cigarettes towards me.

I glanced at the box, feeling a sour taste in my mouth.

I lay on my stomach, my muscles still twitching and shaking as I tried to even out my breaths. Ghost had tossed a thin blanket over my lower half. I hadn’t even moved from the position he had ruthlessly fucked me in – my body ached too much to even try, and my mind was still recovering from the past hour.

I watch Ghost as he reclined next to me, pushing the bottom of his mask up to place a cigarette between his lips. It was the first time I had seen any part of his face all day. He grabbed his lighter from the pocket of his pants that were discarded on the floor, lighting the end of the cigarette and inhaling. He tossed the lighter back down to the floor as he tilted his head back, exhaling a long stream of smoke. I watched it swirl in the lamplight, settling in a cloud around us. He continued puffing, staring at the wall across from the bed as I lay beside him, although I felt worlds away from him.

He'd started off the night with a mountain of stress from a mission gone sideways. Instead of the usual slow build, where he would run his hands under my shirt and kiss my lips slowly and tenderly – he had walked in and immediately demanded I remove my clothes while he began stripping out of his. I had assumed tonight was going to be a passionate one, until he threw me onto my stomach and shoved my face into the pillows. It wasn’t the first time he’d been rough with me, but it wasn’t just rough – it felt dehumanizing. An hour of constant, merciless thrusts, and a hand around my neck that restricted both my blood flow and my oxygen, and I had fallen into a state of shock.

But, in the end, I was happy to be caged in by him again.

I was happy.

He turned his eyes towards me, seeming to sense that something was off. He exhaled another puff of smoke. “Everythin’ alright?” he asked, completely void of any genuine concern.

I met his eyes with my own. I felt like I shouldn’t have to answer the question, and it stirred up a bitterness in me. But I didn’t feel like arguing with him, and I certainly didn’t want him to leave – so I nodded my head, slowly blinking my eyes. “Just tired.”

He hummed and faced the wall again. He brought one of his knees up and rested his arm against it. “Want a smoke?” he asked, still looking away.

I shook my head as much as the pillow beneath me would allow. “No.” I replied.

He sighed disappointedly. Apparently, my lack of enthusiasm after being used like an old fucktoy was irking him.

To be fair, I never spoke up about how I felt.

He grunted and rose from his position, snuffing out his cigarette in the ashtray by my bed, and picking up his clothes and pulling them on. My heart ached slightly as I watched him slide his shirt over his torso. I felt the threat of tears sting in my eyes as I wished his hands were holding me instead, keeping me warm and grounded. He pulled his jeans on and fastened them, buckling his belt rather quickly; and all while he faced away from me.

“Well, I know you probably need some alone time.” He muttered, sliding the skull attachment over his mask. “So I’ll get going. I’ll see you around.”

He grabbed his tactical vest and jacket and slung them over his shoulder. He paused by the door. “Thanks for tonight.” He mumbled, before finally leaving the room and softly closing the door behind him.

My eyes lingered on the ashtray with the half-smoked cigarette. A thin trail of smoke plumed into the air – I wanted to throw the tray across the room and shatter it. But it was Ghost’s, so I couldn’t; I couldn’t regardless, because it was a piece of him that remained with me, even when he left.

That, and the smell of smoke.

“Nah, I’m good.” I replied, facing the cold, empty base ahead of me.

“Good.” She said, pinching the cigarette and blowing a stream of smoke. “Stay that way. Did you know these bastards give you cancer?”

I chuckled into the collar of my jacket. “Do they, now?”

She hummed affirmatively, sucking another breath in through the cancerous bastard. “Who would’ve thought…”

We fell back into silence. I continued watching the stillness of the base, trying to see if the sky would follow through with its promise to fall. Now that my free time wasn’t spent holed up in my room, it somehow felt like there were fewer ways to spend it. With another mission on the horizon – a simple recon, yet dauntingly close to a heavily-guarded compound – no one was out and about when they usually were. Finding Roze outside and seemingly not worried was usual, however, and a warm sight, compared to how the rest of the team was on edge. Even Askel seemed grumpier than most days.

I hadn’t been seeking out someone to spend time with, no… that I would never do (or admit). But talking to a familiar face provided a comfort I had grown to need over the past couple of months. And, frankly, I felt like Konig might be getting tired of how much I ran to him when I craved social interaction. Though he had never said anything about it, I felt like I needed to branch out to other team members than just my Colonel. One might think I was trying to kiss his ass (I knew the accusation had already crossed Juno’s mind, but the young soldier was good at holding his tongue – when Konig was around, at least).

“You ever think about how ‘little girl’ you would react to this?” Roze asked, and I turned to face her. She had her nose scrunched, and a tinge of pink dusted over her cold cheeks. “Guns, war, no playdates or days at the beach…”

I sighed. “Probably would have cried.” I replied, allowing my freezing nose to poke over the collar of my jacket. “Especially if I had known that being a princess now adays meant spending more time worrying about becoming a hostage than anything else.”

Roze chuckled. “It’s a good thing we didn’t know then.” Her face was mostly blank, but I thought I noticed a hint of bitterness in the way her gaze landed on the ground. I watched her flick her cigarette with a bit more aggression than usual. “I would’ve tried to convince my entire family to run away to Scotland, live in hiding and pretend the rest of the world was a dream.”

“Scotland?” I asked. Soap’s cocky grin and heavy Scottish accent stirred in my mind, but it felt like nothing more than a small cloud of dust.

“Yeah – heard it’s fucking gorgeous over there.” She waved her cigarette in no particular direction. “Now, I don’t know how peaceful it is in terms of politics and war, but it’s pretty spacious. Simple, too. I feel like if I talked about throwing all my shit away and becoming a fisherman for a living, I wouldn’t get people trying to talk me out of it like I would in the States.” She took another drag, and laughed out the smoke.

“Fisherman?”

“Yeah.” She chuckled, a hardened smile gracing her lips. “I don’t know why it sounds so appealing… it just does.”

I hummed and looked back out at the compound. I wondered about Roze’s past; she had never said or done anything to indicate that it was particularly rough, as it was for the majority of us (us – I still wasn’t used to including myself, but it was becoming more of a habit each time), but the weariness in her eyes when she spoke about her younger self made me question what that girl had been through. Maybe it was just nostalgia. A yen for simpler times. Roze seemed to appreciate the simple things in life.

“You know Askel goes ice fishing?” she said suddenly.

I smiled underneath my jacket. “Seems like something he would do.”

“Every winter.” She continued. She dropped her cigarette to the floor and crushed it into the gravel. “He takes about three weeks of leave, if we’re lucky enough to get it, and goes to Norway. Sits on a frozen lake for hours a day, just waiting for a fish.”

“You make it sound like he’s never caught one.” I point out, my eyes lingering on the cigarette.

She shrugged her shoulders. “So does he. Every time I ask him what he caught, he just laughs. Says he’s never expects to get a bite.”

I closed my eyes and hummed in response. It was easy to picture the scene – Askel, sitting on a thick layer of ice, nursing the hoppy beers that he and Konig loved so much and waiting for a fish to bite. I wondered if he even bothered to reel the line in when he did catch something. Or if he even went fishing at all. Maybe he just went out there to get a sense of peace, to pretend that war and death didn’t exist.

The motion of thick, heavy snowflakes falling from the sky caught my attention. They landed on the skin of my nose, resisting the warmth for a few moments, before they eventually melted into trickles of water. A sudden gust of wind blew a flurry of them towards us, making the both of us flinch.

Maybe fishing doesn’t sound too bad.

- - - -

The shooting range was mostly silent, save for the occasional conversation between me and Konig. The lights were low, easily illuminating the gunpowder and dust swirling in the air. Konig and I stared at the paper target as we analyzed my shots. A few hit dead center, although most of them were clustered around the lower left of the bullseye. My lips were pursed into a scowl as I glared at my sub-par aim – it wasn’t typically so awful, but of course it was while Konig had been watching.

“Eh, are you sure you didn’t lie on your paperwork about being a sniper?” Konig asked as he stood behind my left shoulder, taking the target from my hands and looking at it closely. “You weren’t even ten yards from it. This is very poor marksmanship.”

I scowled in embarrassment, taking my pistol to the counter and pulling out the mag. “Rough day.” I answered bluntly as I started packing more bullets into the small compartment. It wasn’t a lie – I had barely gotten any sleep the night before. I was in the middle of a rather interesting dream involving me and Ghost, until my alarm woke me up before anything of importance happened.

“Very bad…” he mumbled to himself. I clicked my tongue in annoyance.

“Y’know…” I grumbled, loading the mag back into the gun and shoving it in my holster, “I don’t like stereotyping, but the boot really does fit you.” I walked past him and out into the hallway, not waiting for him to follow.

“Hmm?” he made an indignant noise, momentarily stuck in his spot, before he came jogging after me. “What does that mean? What stereotype?”

I chuckled. “Haven’t you ever how Germans are extremely blunt?” I asked.

“Austrian.” He retorted. “Do I need to brand that onto my face for you?”

“Wouldn’t do me much good, with the mask ‘n all.” I replied.

He laughed – rather snorted, as usual – “Ah, you’re right. Maybe I am blunt – just as much as you are defensive.”

I stopped at the end of the hall, right in front of the exit. “Defe-“ I turned on my heel to scowl at him. “I am not defensive! Where did you get that idea?!”

He stopped behind me, his eyes widening. He gestured an open palm in my direction. “This.”

I huffed, turning back around to punch the door open. The snow from earlier that day had ceased, blanketing the base in a thin layer of white. The moon seemed that much brighter against the crystalized ground, and the yellow lights scattered across the compound made parts of the snow look like sandy dunes. My nose tingled from the nip of the chilly air, and I pulled my jacket tighter around my body as the door fell shut behind me and Konig.

“Well, what am I supposed to say when you call me defensive?”

“You could agree.”

“But I don’t.”

“Which proves my point.”

I huffed in frustration, despite the smirk curling on the edges of my lips. “So, either I have to agree with you, whether I really do or don’t, or you’ve corralled me into a paradox.”

I can practically hear the gears turning in his head. “A what?”

“A paradox, like a – y’know, never mind. It’s too difficult to explain.” I let him fall in step next to me, although he was the one who needed to slow down to match my pace. “We can just agree to disagree, how’s that?”

“Agreed.” He nodded, and I chuckled. “It won’t change the fact that I’m right, you know.” He added.

I bit my lip and tried to keep my smile from growing ridiculously larger. I looked up at him and patted his shoulder – he looked down at me, and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled back. A stray, reddish-brown curl poked through the side of his balaclava, and I found the miniscule detail warming my heart through the cold air. He felt real, and in this moment, too human for this kind of life.

“Why did you choose the military?” I asked, turning back to look at the ground as we walked.

He hummed. “Isn’t that every boy’s dream?”

“Well, yes – but most of the time, it never becomes more than that.” I responded.

He shoved his hands into his pockets, mimicking my own position. “I’m not really sure what made me push so much for it. I almost didn’t make it, for obvious reasons.”

I chuckled. “Size does matter, huh?”

He looked down at me with a deadpan gaze, one that I refused to meet. “It almost did, in a bad way. And I almost backed out before they could be the ones to turn me away. But, of course, they knew they would find some use for my size – so they took me in.”

“And what did they do with you?” I asked, looking back at him.

“A ‘human battering ram,’ as my superiors had so nicely called it.” He framed the description with his hands in the air, as if it had been written on a plaque. I laughed and looked back down at my feet.

“Seriously?” I asked. “So they just had you breaking down doors, and then what?”

Konig laughed with me. “Well, I still had a gun, so I was able to shoot, thank goodness. And I had a bit more gear so I wouldn’t break my bones against the doors – I still dislocated my shoulder a few times, however…” he rolled his left shoulder, as if there was still a lingering pain from how often he had thrown himself at doors. “It was actually during a period of recovery when I proved that I could still be a sniper. My shoulder was still healing, so I had to give up being a battering ram for a while. I was sat with Horangi on the side of the mountain to give him cover. Of course, he was ambushed – he had to fight the Arschgiege right when we were given the order to shoot, so I had to take position behind the gun.” I noticed that his chest was puffed out a bit from pride. “That really knocked their pants off.”

I chuckled, choosing to ignore the inaccuracy of his phrase. “Did it now?”

“It did.” He replied, then looked at the ground. “For a moment. I got a good earful for overstepping boundaries that day, but it’s what ultimately landed me here – so I’m grateful for it.”

I nodded and hummed. “What was Horangi picked for?”

Konig shrugged, his hands now back in his pockets. “He never said what he and Commander had spoken about in his office. But, even if he wasn’t chosen – I like to think we come as a package. If I go, he goes, if he doesn’t, I don’t.”

I felt my heart warm at his words. The memory of how Juno had described Konig couldn’t be farther from my mind. It almost felt like I was talking to someone I briefly crossed paths with in my youth – not a war criminal, not the bloody and stiff soldier who had stepped onto the heli after our first mission. I envied his ability to separate his work stress from the time he had in between missions.

“Why did you decide to join?” He asked, catching me off guard.

It was only fair that I opened up to him, since he was so willing to do the same. Always the one to go first, too. But I had to be careful. I didn’t want this to turn into a pity party, and I didn’t want to dig anything up that I had worked so hard to bury deep beneath my subconscious.

“I was… a weird kid. Like you.” I said, making Konig scoff and roll his eyes. “Looking back now, I hate my younger self. I was so sensitive to what people thought about me, and I just wanted to be independent and strong. I wanted to be a ‘different girl.’” I gritted out the words that left a sour taste in my mouth. “I think I just wanted attention at first – of course, when I heard how everyone said they hated how annoying teenage girls were, and how gullible and weak they were, it just – it made me change. I wanted to prove everyone wrong, it wasn’t just about being different anymore. So, as soon as I turned old enough, I enlisted. Didn’t get to Navy SEAL right away, of course… but I joined every program I was allowed in until I could submit my application.”

I sighed, then chuckled. “Thought my family would say they were proud, that I was successful, that I was doing a good job… they were just angry. Said I was throwing my life away for business that didn’t involve our country.” I opened my mouth to say more, but I ended up scoffing and closing it once again. I felt like I had shared enough.

I looked at Konig, expecting him to acknowledge what I said. “That’s how the story goes…” he would say. But, when I met his gaze, I only saw concern. His brow was creased with what I imagined was pity, and my stomach churned. It was the exact opposite of the reaction I had hoped for. I only wanted to share stories with him, and now it was… this.

“I think you made the right choices.” He said, and I looked away.

“You don’t need to make me feel better, Konig. I appreciate it, but-“

“I’m not just trying to make you feel better.” He said, his accent slightly thicker from his exasperation. “You’re good at what you do. Your parents are just probably worried for you, and they don’t know how to show it.”

I bit down on my tongue, my eyes settling on the building in front of us with a hard expression. If only.

“Maybe that’s it.” I muttered, hoping he would drop the subject. He seemed to understand, and turned to look ahead with a disappointed sigh. My heart sank the tiniest bit at the sound, and I internally scolded myself. Still a people-pleaser, apparently.

We continued walking in silence, the buzz of the lights above us mimicking the static of a communication system that had been severed in a time where it was needed most. The edge of the barracks appeared into our view, just around the corner of the arsenal sheds that stood between us and our destination. I continued to stare at the ground, pretending to watch my steps and try to not slip on the snowy asphalt. My heart twisted with each second of silence that sat thickly between us. It wasn’t technically a fight, but somehow, it felt worse. It felt like the first time I had pissed him off, the first time we had spoken to each other – and god, did I already hate myself for the way I had acted towards him during those first few weeks. I didn’t want to drive another wedge between us, not after the ones that had already been worked back out.

I exhaled heavily through my nose. “Sorry.” I mumbled quietly, but loud enough that I knew it reached his ears. “Sensitive topics.”

He flitted his eyes in my direction, but didn’t bother to move his head. He sighed, and I nearly jolted when I felt his wide hand on my upper back. It rubbed back and forth, and it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that he was comforting me. Or, trying to, at least.

“I know.” He said, and his hand rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry for pushing you.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I was stuck on the feeling of the roughness of his palm, which I could gleam through the fabric of my jacket. How his fingers squeezed gently and released twice. There was no hidden meaning, no forced contact or any kind of attempt to put context into the touch. It was… natural. Warm, comforting, and it spoke a thousand words that I wouldn’t have been able to stomach if he had said them. It broke past my self-hatred and walls of ‘don’t be weak’ that I would have used as my defense if he had tried to verbally convey any sort of consolation. It was the first time I didn’t feel awkward about being so close to him, let alone when he was touching me. I wondered if he did this on purpose, or if he had no idea what he was doing at all.

I let myself stand nearer to him, almost tucked under his arm. I looked up and smiled as genuinely as I could – not that it was hard for me, but because I wanted to make sure that he really knew how much I appreciated the gesture. Although, if he knew that this simple act of comfort would pierce through my outer shell, was it really necessary?

“Thank you, Konig.” I said.

He looked down at me and smiled. That damn smile. I wondered how much more refreshing it would be when he wasn’t wearing his mask. It was already too much for my soul to bear when it was just the crinkling in his eyes that I could see.

“Anytime, Bonnie.” He replied, patting my shoulder before tucking his hand back into his pocket. I grieved minimally at the loss of the touch, but I was happy for what it was. “And I mean it. Anytime you need to talk – or not talk, and do that empty staring that you do – just come find me.”

I quirked an eyebrow in his direction. “Anytime?” I asked amusedly.

“Mhm!” Konig replied, his eyes on the ground as he watched his steps. Then, the realization hit him, and his eyes went wide with panic. “Oh- well, eh- I guess, not anytime-“

“You gonna tell me when?” I joked, and he laughed. “You need an open/closed sign on your door.” I jogged ahead, trying to reach the door to the barracks before he did.

“How about this?” he called out, and I could hear the grin behind his mask. “I’ll nail a chalkboard to my door, and if I’m busy, I’ll draw a stick guy jerking off in his bed!”

My cheeks burned after I heard him. “No!” I shrieked, laughing nervously. “You’ll traumatize Juno!” I quickly tried to pin this on someone other than me.

“Juno, hah?” Konig teased, and I had half a mind to run into the building and leave him on the quad. “I don’t care about him. Kid needs to be traumatized.”

I laughed and threw my head back, turning the corner around the arsenal shed. “That’s not very-“

Immediately, my heart leapt into my throat, and I gasped. Konig nearly ran into my back as he skidded to a halt.

Sick, sick, what the fuck, I feel sick-

“Stimmt etwas nicht?” he asked, concerned. “What- oh, scheisse-“

We both stared at the bird on the ground. A crow from the looks of it, though it was hard to even decipher that it was a bird in the first place, due to the state it was in. Its belly had been cut open, entrails and bloody bits pulled from the abdomen and strewn to either side of the bird. Its wings were stretched to their full capacity and most likely beyond it, crushed and missing a large number of feathers. Both of the legs appeared to have been ripped off and tossed to the left of the crow. Its beak was the worst of it all: pried open, the jaw probably broken from how wide it was spread. A haunting look of terror in the crow’s red, glossy eyes made a violent shiver run up my spine.

I exhaled shakily, my eyes still glued to the horror. “Holy shit – what the-“

Konig quickly walked around me and knelt in front of the crow. I shifted to look over his shoulder, still fearfully curious, but he held a hand out behind him, urging me to stay in place. With his other hand, he pulled at one of the bird’s wings, stiff and heavy. Whether it was frozen from the cold, or this was the effects from rigor mortis, I couldn’t tell.

“How – did a fucking fox do that?!” I asked. Are there even foxes in this area? How the hell did one get on base?

“Nein.” Konig replied, still looking at the corpse. His gaze fell upon it with a sense of… familiarity, maybe? “Not a fox, no.”

“Then what? It – whatever it was didn’t even eat-“

“I’ll take care of this.” Was all Konig said. He stood up and marched past me – I was barely able to catch a glimpse of his furious expression. His eyes were hard and narrow, and as he walked away, I noticed that his shoulders were tense and his hands were balled into fists. I didn’t dare say anything to him; he almost looked the same way he did after our first mission together, except this time, his anger seemed to be directed at something, instead of just a post-mission adrenaline high.

“I’ll see you later.” He said over his shoulder. There was an obvious fury to his words, and although I knew it wasn’t intended towards me, it still made me freeze where I stood – almost as if I might anger him more simply by taking a step after him.

Whatever it is… I thought, watching him disappear into the compound, he’s sorting it out. I can take care of myself. Although, with such an abrupt and tense departure, I was at a loss on what to do next. I looked back at the bird; its terrified eyes locked onto the sky above it, frozen in its last wish to fly away from whatever horror it endured.

A shiver ran up my spine, prompting me to look away.

- - - -

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Black Math. Left in Lincoln, pt. 5

8.6k words. dark dbf!Joel Miller x virgin!reader story master list / spotify playlist / joel master

🍑 amazing art by @bonezone44 💙

Now spicier courtesy of the label His smile faded as he looked at you, then he added hoarsely, “God, if you knew how many times I’d thought about you.” There wasn’t so much as a hint of shame in his voice. It had the warmth in your cheeks traveling down, down, down. . . “We’re almost there, baby, but we gotta do it right.  We’re almost there, I promise.” He reached into his pants to tuck in his shirt and adjusted himself while he was there. Your eyes fixated on the bulge in his jeans. “God damn,” he exhaled.  “Turns me on thinkin’ about it.”  

WARNINGS: I8+, Not graphic, but it gets twisted. Lots of plot, including flashbacks, disturbing implicit horror (really), angst, brief self-shaming, big girthy age gap (reader is legal the whole time), pet names and praise, toxic dark joel/fluff, family fluff, gaslighting, manipulation, yearning, pining, obsession, grinding, mutual touching, oral f receiving.  NO use of Y/N

A/N: This picks up right after part 4. Word-count wise, parts 1-4 were like half of it. There are two more after this, and I wrote a lot on those before finalizing pt. 5. Thank you all for your patience and enthusiasm. It's so rewarding to see people discuss. Additional thanks to @dark-scape for your help, Raider Joel for your support. I couldn't get the text off bold fyi.

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You awoke to the sound of stairs creaking under heavy steps, a sound you didn’t often hear at home.  You blinked awake, still disoriented as your eyes focused.   The vanity, the dresser, the empty glass on the nightstand. The closet. Your mind was catching up when the bedroom door opened.  Joel was fully dressed with his hair combed back.  His brows were knitted in concern  as usual, but his eyes brightened when he saw you waking up.  

You lifted your head and squinted at him as you propped yourself up with one elbow. 

Joel’s tone was as cheerful as you could ever expect to hear it. “Mornin’, sleepyhead. Makin’ sure you're okay.”

“What time is it?” 

“Li’l past noon. Still sleepin’? I’ll leave ya ‘lone.”

“I should get up.” You put your head back down on the pillow.  

He came over and sat down on the bed. “How’d ya sleep?” 

“Good, once I fell asleep.” 

“Does the trick, don’t it?” He nodded to the empty glass on the nightstand. 

“Yeah,” you laughed. 

“Dr. Miller, at your service.” 

You giggled again and his eyes glazed over as they fell on your smile, your chest, then met your eyes.  He leaned over and put his elbow down on the far side of you. 

“Well, you’ve made me believe in beauty sleep, peaches.” He put a hand on your shoulder, dwarfing it with his massive palm as he brushed your skin with his thumb.   “Always a beauty, but ya wake up even prettier.”  Your face got hot and you looked away shyly. 

Joel bit his lip, holding back a smile. He traced the outer curve of your ear with his fingers.  “Hungry?” 

“Kinda.” 

“I’ll go make ya somethin’.”  He looked at you warmly then kissed you on the forehead before he went back downstairs. 

—-----

You took a shower and got dressed.  As your hands glided over your soapy body, your palms lingered on your breasts. You imagined Joel showering and realized you couldn’t picture him shirtless.  While you were picking out something to wear, you got to thinking again about the closet full of clothes. They were mostly dresses.  You put on one of several soft, casual floral ones about knee length.  

Before you closed the closet door, you stopped yourself.  You had to face it – the dress you saw in the dark the night before.  The one that kept you up.  Heart racing, you reached into the far right corner and fumbled with a big, satin hanger.  You squinted your eyes almost shut as you carefully brought the dress out where you could see it.  You looked at it blurry through your lashes.  It was more cream than white.  

When you finally opened your eyes all the way, an unexpected sense of relief soothed your chest as if the dress were made of love and meant for you. It was simple, but breathtaking. Not the rigid, intimidating garment your anxiety had envisioned.  It had a simple A-line silhouette. The high collar and long sleeves were a lace outer dress laid over a solid one with a sweetheart neckline. The skirt was flowy and came down around mid-calf.  

It gave you butterflies and you couldn’t help but imagine Joel went out of his way to get this.  It felt like a wishful conclusion, like a romantic story you wanted to believe.  You tried to talk yourself away from it, not wanting to assume.  But at the same time, you still couldn’t figure who would have left it behind.  Your heart sank for a moment when you wondered if it could have been intended for Tess, but Ellie always said they were platonic and even slept in separate rooms.  Not only were the clothes not anything Ellie or Tess would wear, but Ellie nor Tess ever lived in this house.  They were gone before Joel moved down the street.  You put the dress way back in the corner of the closet where it came from. 

—------------------

When Joel first settled into the community, he moved into a house near Abe’s, clear on the other side of the neighborhood.  You met Ellie first.  You were in your backyard gardening when she appeared out of nowhere and asked what you were doing. She was a little younger than you, but much more experienced in life, having been out in the world.  You were shy to ask her about the horrors of the infected, not wanting to upset her.  But she told you all about it anyway – the different kinds, the way they connected underground.  You were grateful for your life and recognized the privilege in growing up like you did.  Growing up at all.  

Bill used to remind you how lucky you were, especially as a teenager when you would have fits about wanting to go out into the world.  Somehow, learning from Ellie in more graphic detail about the state of the world didn’t squash your desire to get out there one day.  You asked her all about the quarantine zones and FEDRA school, and those sounded fun, even though she didn’t depict them that way.  She asked you a million questions about your little community, too. 

You never saw much of Joel until after Ellie left.  Frank worried about Joel being all alone, having experienced so much loss, so they invited him over for dinner.  The first time, Joel was surprised when you answered the door.  He apologized and looked around as though he had made some kind of mistake.  Then it occurred to you he might have forgotten your name.  You couldn’t even remember a time you had formally met, so you introduced yourself.  

He took a few seconds.   “Right, sorry,” he mumbled.  “I thought—well, Ellie, uh—I guess I thought you were younger.” 

Joel was polite and didn’t talk much.  Bill liked that about him, so they started having him over for dinner regularly.  The two of you didn’t share much conversation, but when you did, Joel seemed in awe of how protected you grew up.  It made you self-conscious.  It wasn’t something you liked about yourself.  When Joel noticed this, he clarified it was a really good thing.  Rare.  The terror of the world affected most people for the worse. 

—

Joel didn’t move into his current house until after the Adlers died and someone needed to take care of the peach and apple orchards.  He had already been helping them tend the orchards and also helped fix things up around the property as the Adlers’ age caught up with them.  

When Joel moved, Frank had the idea to bake something to welcome him to your family’s end of the community.  You made a blueberry cobbler. Frank combed his hair and tucked in a plain, button-up shirt.  He didn’t ask you to put on a dress, but you did because Frank always had fun getting spruced.  He liked to have a reason, even if the occasion was completely manufactured, like the nights he made dinner and claimed his restaurant had a dress code. You couldn’t deny it made for a nice change of pace, and Bill’s eyes brightened, too despite his obligatory grumbling. 

When you were ready to take the cobbler to Joel, Bill said the two of you looked like you were going to a wake. 

“It’s nice to dress up,” Frank protested.  “It shows we care.” 

When you and Frank were about to walk over there, Frank started tearing up thinking about the Adlers.  They were your neighbors for as long as you could remember. “I can’t, I can’t do it,” Frank said.  Bill didn’t want to do it either.  He wasn’t planning on it to begin with.  

“I’ll take it,” you offered.  So they sent you.  

—

You walked up to Joel’s (new) house, stopping to admire the gambrel roof.  The front door was newly black and smelled like paint, so you weren’t sure where to knock.  You rang the bell and it buzzed sadly in a low, broken tone, as though barely hanging on.  When you were just about to walk around back and knock, Joel opened the door holding a dish towel and a salty look that softened as saw you.  He let go of the door and looked down as he cleaned his hands.  

His voice was deep as always, but it struck you more when you were one-on-one without anyone else’s chatter.  “Need somethin’?”

“Uh, no.  I don’t.”  You smiled just enough to not look scared and countered, “Do you need anything?”  His presence was intimidating. Handsome and muscular, with a quiet, powerful energy.  

He didn’t say anything. Kept cleaning his fingers.  Once he looked at you again, he didn’t look away. He stopped messing with his fingers.  It was your only private conversation since the first time he came over for dinner.  It was more eye contact than he had ever given you.  You waited out the silence, then smiled and held out the cobbler for him. “This is for you.” 

He put his hands around the dish, careful not to let his dirty fingers touch yours.  “You made this?”

“Yeah,” you nodded and took your hands away. His eyes gave the hint of a smile, but his mouth didn’t budge.  

“Welcome to the street,” you told him. 

He nodded but didn’t offer any more words.  He stood there and looked at you until you said, “Well, you know where we are if you need anything.  Bye, Joel.”  He nodded and watched you walk away.  

—---------

Joel and the Adlers.  Those were the only people you were aware of who ever lived in that house.  You put on another dress.  It was a lightweight, black fabric. Low-cut, flowy, came down to your knees with elbow length sleeves that were kind of see through and flared out. 

You were too curious not to bring up the clothes.  Over lunch, you asked, “The Adlers didn’t have a daughter when they lived here, did they?”

He seemed to be thinking it over as he finished chewing.  “Not that I know of.  Why?” 

“Whose clothes are these?”

“Ah,” he said.  “Well they’re yours now, peaches.”  

You smiled. “Before, though.”

“Why?  Do you like’em? They look good on ya. Are they the right size?”

“I like’em a lot. They’re nice, they fit well.” 

He raised his eyebrows and proudly revealed, “Picked’em up at the boutique.”  His cheeks turned pink as he looked at you for approval. “Wasn’t much left. Wasn’t sure you’d like’em.”  He took a bite of his salad.

“Wow,”  you nodded. You were nearly speechless that he stocked that room for you.  If there wasn’t much left at the boutique, he must’ve grabbed anything in  your general size. Maybe that’s how he ended up with The Dress.  

“Wanted to have what ya needed here, just in case.” He nodded as he chewed.  “S’why it took me a few days to come by after Bill and Frank left.”

“That’s nice, Joel.” It was a little awkward.  You didn’t know what to say.

He continued to explain himself.  “Men like me and Bill, we’re protectors.”  He put down his fork to gesticulate.  “So when your papa asked me to make sure you’d be okay, I took it real serious.  Did everything I could to be ready for any scenario.” 

You slowly nodded and he looked at you in anticipation of further response. You said, “Well, you went above and beyond.” 

Your face must have given away your shock.  Joel sighed.  “Might’ve gotten carried away.”  He looked down and lowered his voice. “Been a while since I had someone to care for.  I guess the idea of someone even possibly needin’ me. . . ”  Your heart hurt for him.  “Hell, maybe I wanted to remember what it felt like. Look at me playin’ dress-up, right?” He laughed at himself, but his eyes were somber. 

You took his hand into yours and looked him in the eyes.  “Thank you, Joel.” 

“I’m glad they fit,” he said.  “Glad ya can use’em.”  He took a sip of water, then quickly swallowed it to clarify,  “I mean, I’m not glad ya had to leave home.  Just glad I could be here.” 

“Yeah.”  You squeezed his hand. He kissed yours and let it go.   “This is really good, by the way.  Love the dressing.”  

“It’s basil. Grew it outside.  I’ve got some herb seedlings in pots down in the basement. We can try to plant’em if ya want.” 

Your face lit up at the possibility of going outside.  “Yeah!”

“We’ll do the arugula, too.  I dunno about the ‘berries, darlin’, but we’ll try.” 

—----

It was a cloudy day, but still nice out.  Joel seemed to think it might rain later.  After lunch, he loaded up a wagon full of plants and supplies from the basement, and the two of you walked through the orchard.  The fresh air was invigorating after being  stuck in the house.  

“‘Member which tree is ours?” Joel asked.  

When you correctly pointed it out, he stopped the wagon and let the handle sit.  You looked at him shyly as he looked you up and down.  “C’mere.”  He gently turned you to face him.  “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?” He cradled your head with both hands.  You tilted your chin, then he planted a long, affectionate kiss on your lips.

When you got to the garden beds at the back of the orchard, Joel said, “we should plant’em together so they cross-pollinate. Where do you wanna put’em?”  Joel watched your face as you walked around them and evaluated the options.  

The garden bed to the right already had a pumpkin vine with beautiful flowers. That bed looked more settled, darker, and fertile.  “I didn’t know you had pumpkins,” you marveled. “Maybe by those?”

Joel looked down at the garden bed.  “Yeah, hopefully they’ll fruit.”  He smiled up at you without raising his head again.  

Joel used a spade to dig shallow holes, then you nestled the roots in the holes and both of you patted the soil down.  First the arugula, then the basil, then the longshot–the strawberries, 

“Pat it down, but not too tight,” he said. 

When you were finished, you knelt by the vine and traced a flower with your fingers. Its warm colors were cheerful. “When the pumpkins grow, can we eat’em?”

“Sure, darlin’.”  Joel looked down at the vine, squatting right beside you.  “Y’know, the flower’s edible, too.”  

“It is?” Your stomach rumbled at the thought of eating something new. 

Half of Joel’s mouth curled into a small smile. “I reckon you’ve never had a flor de calabaza taco, then. Granted, not sure how ya would’ve.”

“Flor de calabaza?”

“Pumpkin flower. Haven’t had one in a while myself. Go on, pick a couple. Let’s try it.” 

You plucked one. “Good choice,” he said, giving you a flashback to when he caught you with one of his peaches. The embarrassment flooded you all over again as you picked two more.  Joel saw your face change, and he smiled, hopefully not thinking about the origin of your nickname. You wondered how often he thought about it.  He picked a flower of his own, leaving a bit of vine on it, then stroked your cheek and said “c’mere.”  He looked in your eyes and put his flower behind your ear.  He kissed you on the lips, then wrapped an arm around you and began to stand, bringing you up with him.  

Joel looked up at the sky, squinting. “Ah, hell.  Gimme that cloth.” He knelt down and finished patting the soil as you retrieved the cloth from the wagon.  You helped him cover the newly planted arugula, basil, and strawberries to protect them from washout.

—--

You hung out in the kitchen, helping Joel make dinner.  The apple blossom in the jar still looked beautiful.  He knew how to take care of things.  You washed the pumpkin flowers, then twirled one against your nostrils as Joel cooked wild turkey.  You inhaled the petals and tried to imagine what they’d taste like.  Joel cooked the flowers with the turkey. They were delicious. Granted, anything new to eat was appealing in principle.  Novelty was its own seasoning. 

After dinner that night, Joel needed to do some work outside before the rain.  He showed you a shelf of books and games near the fireplace, then watched your face as you browsed them.   You picked up one that you liked as a girl but hadn’t read in years.  Joel went out through the basement.  You heard him dragging a tarp out. 

There were a lot of thoughts distracting you from your book.  Your feelings for Joel overwhelmed you.  At certain moments, it felt too good to be true.  You also reflected on your intimacy and felt like things were moving fast. You understood why: you felt safe and protected, and your body’s physical need for his was totally natural. But the speed also made it feel fragile somehow.  Like if you looked down, you might be falling through the air, not realizing you ran off a cliff.  

There was also the question: If a connection this special formed so quickly, could it come undone just as fast?  You couldn’t rid your head of his wounded face when you said you were lonely.  You hurt his feelings and panicked, as if you needed to give him everything you could at that moment to prove that you loved him. As much as you enjoyed having him in your mouth like that, it felt impulsive in hindsight. Desperate, and you hoped he didn’t see it that way. Pathetic, even. But the memory of it turned you on all the same. 

You replayed other encounters in your mind and felt like you were largely the one driving things.  Burying your fear and grief in his lap.  It embarrassed you to think about, but you also felt relieved that there wasn’t really any pressure.  It was like Joel said, whatever you want and that’s all.  You said you wanted it in your mouth, and of course he wouldn’t discourage it. Then he wouldn't be giving you everything.

The sound of metal banging then scraping on concrete stirred you from your thoughts. Then the basement door opened and shut twice.  

—------

When Joel came back inside, it was nearly your typical bedtime and you were cozy on the sofa.  You were curled up on your side with the book on your thigh and your eyes closed.  You were only half asleep, but you let him take the book. He also spread a blanket over you.  When his bedroom door closed, you sat up and opened the book again.  There was a black thumbprint on the open page, and it smelled like ash. It gave you butterflies to see his thumbprint.  You liked the idea of having part of him in the book as you read it.  You knew how irrational these feelings were, but it didn’t stop them.  

Joel’s shower turned on.  The walls were so thin that you could hear everything.  A cabinet opening, the shower door, changes in the rhythm of the water flow.  You could hear that he brushed his teeth in the shower. Maybe not just in the shower.  He always seemed to taste fresh.   A few minutes after the water turned off, Joel came out of his room in jeans and a white t-shirt that wasn’t tucked in.  The shirt hugged his pecs and arms and gave you an even deeper, needier appreciation for his physique.  The casual look was really attractive on him.  You needed him so bad it hurt.  If you couldn’t have him forever, you weren’t sure what you would do.  If he ended up with anyone else—there was no reason for this thought to even cross your mind, but the fleeting idea of it made your temples weak.  He was too perfect. 

You were sitting on the couch hugging your knees when he sat down next to you.  He put his hand on your knee and dipped his head to look at you. You took a deep breath through your nose.  Mint and pine. His post-shower fragrance made your chest tingle. 

“You okay, peaches?”

“Yeah.” You mustered a smile.  “Just tired.  Guess I should go to sleep.”

“Sure, darlin’. Want me to tuck you in?”

Your heart sank at the lack of an invitation.  “Yeah.” 

Joel took your hand and led you upstairs. While you were in the bathroom getting ready to sleep,  Joel made the bed for you before turning the covers down for you to get in. 

“There ya go.” 

“Thanks.” You got under the covers, tempted to make room for him but not wanting to come on too strong or look desperate.

He sat down on the edge of the mattress and leaned over you like he had in the morning.  “Need anything at all, I’m right downstairs.” 

“Thank you.”

Joel kissed you goodnight. You were a little sad when he didn't try anything, but you had already said you were tired. In your heart, you felt like he'd always be patient with you. If you wanted to slow things down, it was yourself you had to worry about.  But in your heart, that wasn’t what you wanted anyway.  You just hoped Joel didn’t think less of you for needing him so much. 

—-----------

You woke up in the middle of the night to a deafening clap of thunder.  You sat up and your hand went to your chest.  You could feel your heart pounding. The wash of your blood through your valves echoed in your ears.  Outside, branches rustled loudly and snapped in the wind. 

You were unsettled lying there awake and alone. You wondered why Joel didn't just have you sleep in his bed. Maybe he was trying to be respectful, but these were the things that made you second guess the pace on your end.  You lay there alone, and began to hear creaking and clattering indoors that made your heart race. Joel was right downstairs, but he never felt so far away.  The thunder was okay, but the other noises made your mind race with thoughts of whatever happened the other night at your house.  Whatever Joel saved you from.  The distorted version of Call Me echoed in your mind. 

You worked up the courage to get out of bed.  You crept downstairs like you did the night before.  A flash of lightning startled you.  When a louder, longer crack of thunder followed, you quickened your steps, hanging onto the bannister for dear life so you wouldn’t slip in the dark. 

Joel’s bedroom door was cracked open, so you let yourself in. It was almost pitch black dark. He was on his back in the middle of the bed with the covers pulled half down.  You couldn’t make out his face, but his breathing told you he was fast asleep.  You went around to the side farthest from the bedroom door and smoothed your nightgown under you as you lifted up the comforter and gently sat down.  You brought up your feet and slipped under the covers.  Joel’s breathing changed, but he didn’t move until there was a louder clap of thunder.  You scooted closer and whispered his name. 

His head jolted up and he gasped. “You okay?”

“Yeah.  But I got scared of the storm.”

“‘C’mere, darlin’.” He turned onto his side to face you and stretched his arm out.  You scooted over and laid your head on it. He draped his other arm over you.  “You’re okay, I got ya.” He pulled you closer and planted a kiss on your forehead. 

You lay there with your arm nestled between you and your hand on his chest.  He touched your hair and kissed you on the head a few more times, then dipped his head to kiss your lips, nudging your head up to face him.  The kiss was languid and both your lips came to a rest without pulling away.  You stayed like that, both of you breathing through your noses with your lips nestled between each other’s. His breathing slowed again, and your breath began to match his. Your lips finally fell away as you drifted off in his arms to the sound of the storm.  

-

In the middle of the night, you woke up on your back with Joel half on top of you, one of his legs between yours.  You stirred and he put more weight on you.  He sighed your name without waking up, and the sound of it in his mouth gave you butterflies. Then he fisted your nightgown over your breast and slurred, “‘m sorry.”  His body jerked and he gasped, then relaxed again. A few seconds later, he mumbled, “had to.”  His breath deepened.  “For us.” 

Your mind became an empty pit, and your heart raced. “Had to what,” you whispered. 

“Please." He became unintelligible. "Please," he repeated in distress. 

“Had to what, Joel?”

He jolted awake at the sound of his name. He jerked his head up then relaxed as he felt you beneath him.  “You ok, baby?” 

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

He took some of his weight off you, rolling back onto his side and resting a massive hand on your chest. “Sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.”  

He sighed and rested his forehead on your shoulder for a few seconds.  Then you asked, “What were you dreaming about?”

“Hmm. . . didn’t know I was dreamin’,” he said.  “But I reckon I’d dream about you, darlin’.” 

“What about me?”

“Ohh, you and me. . .”  He kissed your nose, then your lips, then whispered, “and the rest of our lives.”  His words bypassed your mind and wrapped your heart in the tightest little hug.  It was already getting difficult to imagine a future without him.  You could hardly picture it at this point. What would you even be doing? The same things you’d done your whole life, at the same house, with no hope of meeting someone to share it with. Even if you met someone, you couldn’t possibly imagine anyone else making you feel this way. 

—-----------

The storm had died down.  By then, it was just the loud patter of rain, darkened with a steady rumble.  Joel pulled you close and planted light kisses on your mouth. Then he slid his tongue between your lips and the kisses became deeper.  He shifted to hover over you, and you reached out to trace his form, starting with a hand on each pec, sliding them over his shoulders and down to where his triceps stretched his sleeves.  You could imagine nothing hotter than Joel with his hair out of place, shoulders and biceps bulging through his white t-shirt.  He leaned down to kiss you like he hadn’t seen you in days.

He lowered himself to lay half on top of you again, and you felt the warm shape of his cock hardening against your hip.  You and me, and the rest of our lives. . . Between his words, his weight, and his passion, you melted under him.  He rested his forearms on either side of your torso.  He planted a kiss on your cheek, then your chin, then your throat.  His lips opened and closed, opened and closed, crawling wetly up and around your throat without ever breaking contact.  His hips pushed his hardness against you and you sighed.  He sealed his lips in the crook of your neck and sucked, moaning quietly into your skin.  He tore his mouth from your neck with a low sigh to say, “You’re gorgeous, baby.”  His voice was hoarse from sleep or want. 

He sealed his lips around yours and you could feel his affection with every brush of his tongue.  You could taste all the words he wanted to say–that he was desperate for you, would do anything for you, could never lose you.  You kissed him back, slowly but hungrily, your hips lifting into him, telling  him without words that he could have all of you, you were truly his.  You kissed harder, your mouth hanging onto his for dear life, and he moaned into your mouth.  A groan was building in your chest but you just wanted to hear him.

—

He sighed as his hardness dug into you, then his hand reached down between your legs, under your nightgown.  He lightly dragged his middle finger up and down the crotch of your panties, still kissing you deeply. Then he traced the same line with several fingers flattened together. He broke the kiss to try to read your eyes in the dark.  Then he said, “God, I love you so much.”  Before you could say it back, he covered your mouth with his.   His hips slowly rolled into you as he sucked and tasted your mouth.  The rhythm of his stiff cock against your hip made you physically weak with desire.  

You tried to shift your hips under him.  He got the message and put himself between your legs, resting both his forearms on the bed again.  With his cock laying heavily against your mound, you ached with need, dying to be filled, at least by his fingers.  But you were also a little shy about how needy you felt. He kissed you with so much love, and you felt just as much for him, but your brain took over for a moment and your lips stopped moving.  

The moment you started overthinking it, Joel noticed and pulled back.   He experimentally grinded his cock against your front. He leaned his temple against yours and whispered, “Just ‘cause it's there don’t mean ya gotta do anything with it.” 

You breathed an internal sigh of appreciation, even though you were salivating to have it in your mouth again. To have it anywhere, everywhere.  

—

He cupped your cheek and stroked it with his thumb.  “I just wanna make ya feel good.  Can I do that?” You nodded “mm-hm,” and his hand returned between your legs, ghosting your clit through the fabric.  “Cause I don’t have to,” he went on.  “Won’t hurt my feelings if ya go back to your bed, okay?”  You nodded.  “We’ll just do what you want,” he said. Except for what I want most, you thought to yourself.   

Joel reached down to adjust his boxers, then he backed up and kissed his way down your body.  Every press of his lips through the satin gown made you throb more.  The faint silhouette of his hair made you imagine he was looking up at your face after every kiss, making sure you were still with him.  Of course you were.  The nightgown had already ridden up. He pushed it further, planted his head between your legs, and kissed you through the cotton of your underwear—softly, then harder.  His mouth drew a long sigh out of you as the tension inside you swelled.  

His fingers hooked into the hem of your panties and he slowly dragged them down.  He covered your warmth with his mouth before you could feel the cool air.  The underside of his tongue licked down your dripping seam as his fingers on your thighs continued pulling your panties down. 

His head broke away to finish taking them off, and he breathed, “you’re my favorite taste in the world, baby.”  

His mouth returned between your legs, and he devoured you just like before.  Licking, sucking, flicking his tongue, moaning into you.  When he began to fuck you with his tongue, your need to be filled by his cock only strengthened and demanded attention.  You said, “Get me ready.”

“Hmm?” 

“Ready for you. . .You said my body has to be ready, too.”  

He dabbed the corner of his mouth with his wrist, and you could almost see his smile in the dark.   “That what ya want?”  His hair was out of place already, which made you want him even more.

“Yeah,” you whispered.  

“That’s what we’ll do.”  

—-

He started while he was still between your legs.  He inserted a finger and kept kissing your clit while you sighed.  He pulled his head away and  flattened his fingers.  He gently rubbed you as he crawled back up the bed and stopped with his face near yours.  His face hovered an inch from yours as he rubbed your desperate, slippery, beautiful mess.  He stroked you just right, then pushed his finger back into you, his lungs audibly sucking in a long, deep breath. 

Your head tilted up and your mouth fell open.  He pushed the finger to the hilt and an obscene moan fell out of your mouth.  

“Oh baby, you sound so beautiful.”  He began to move his hips against your thigh.  “This okay? Or you want me to take it away.” 

“No, no, don’t take it away.” 

He exhaled half a laugh and slowly pumped his thick finger, staying mostly inside you, curling against your front wall.  “How’s it feel?” 

“Really good,” you whispered.  “Gimme another like last time.”  

His cock twitched against you and he kissed you as he slowly pushed another finger in. He moved them in and out and his hand hugged your mound as he did it. Your hips lifted into his hand and you broke the kiss with a sigh that became a whimper.  He groaned softly at your desperation and kept rutting against your thigh, fucking you slowly with his fingers. After following a steady rhythm for a while, he clamped his palm down on your mound, adding friction to your clit as he worked his hand. He began to bring his fingers out a little more to slicken your clit again.  You throbbed and moaned and could hardly stand it.  

“Joel,” you sighed, and struggled to find words.  You sputtered out, “I —Joel, I just — I want–ugh–want you, so bad.” 

His voice was low and soothing. “Ohhhh, I know it darlin’,” he commiserated.  He planted a kiss on your neck as he continued the push of his fingers inside you and his cock against you.  “You’ll have me, baby,” he murmured huskily.  “We’ll have each other.”  He worked his fingers and grinded his cock against you in opposite beats of the same rhythm.  

“Another one,” you whispered. 

“It’s too much, baby.” 

“It’s not,” you whined.  

“Let’s add one of yours.”  He removed his fingers almost entirely and lifted his palm up to make room for your hand under his.  “C’mon.”  You nestled your hand under his and carefully added your middle finger.  You slid your finger in against your front wall, nestled in a triangle with his two fingers as he pushed inside again.  You couldn’t reach very far, but it was enough to feel the stretch. His hand engulfed yours and controlled the rhythm. It was a different feeling, touching yourself with your finger nestled under his.  You enjoyed the stretch and his hand engulfing yours, but you could only imagine how much better the smooth tip of his cock would feel.  

Moving your finger with his, Joel asked, “Feel good?”

“Yours feel better.”  

He lifted his palm and you removed your hand.  He kissed you as he began pistoning his fingers deeper and harder.  He swirled and scissored them as though making room inside you.  

“Joel,” you sighed and your spine curved, jutting your breasts into the air. Your nipple fell out of your nightgown and his mouth was on it right away.  

He kissed your breast, moaning into your nipple.  Then he kissed your chest, then your neck. “God damn, baby,” he murmured hoarsely.  

“Just one more,” you begged. 

He grunted with a strong thrust against your hip.  “Ahh—Might be too much.” 

He paused his rhythm and slowly added his ring finger.  So slow it was torture.  

“No, don’t stop,” you whined.  “Just give it to me.” 

He gave it to you, grouping his fingers as close as he could together.  The stretch burned by the time he was half in, but you asked for more.  You winced at the burn and he took the finger back out.  

“I’m okay, it felt good,” you reassured him, but he went back to fucking you harder with two fingers instead, and that felt even better since he didn’t hold back. The burn quickly faded, drowned out by a throbbing tingle that consumed your whole torso, and spread to your thighs, down your legs, making your knees weak.  

Before long, you were writhing under him.  He sucked your breast again and you moaned his name.  He sucked your neck, then whispered into it, “You’ll be a beautiful bride.”  Your breath hitched and your eyes widened at his words, but you didn’t want him to stop.  He continued, “You want that, right?” 

You nodded and heard yourself whisper, “yes.”  

Joel sighed and brought his lips back to yours.  He pressed his hand into your clit as he worked his fingers to bring you over the edge.  “Yeah,” he breathed. Your body jerked and you moaned.  His hand hugged your cunt as you came.  “Ohhh, gooood giirrrl.”   He kissed one half of your mouth as your climax continued.  His breath was hot against your cheek.  “Love feelin’ ya like this.” 

—------

The rain had slowed even more, and the thunder was fading. Joel used his wet hand to pull his stiff manhood out of his boxers with a quiet groan.  You reached down to feel it and he shivered at your touch..  The tip was shiny with precum, smeared from rutting against you through his boxers. He must have been aching as bad as you were.  You took your hand away, opting to wait and see what he had in mind.  

“I don’t have to do this here,” Joel said, his voice weak with need.  Then he added in good humor,  “But it does need doin’,” and those words landed between your legs.  

Your lips parted and you took a deep breath, your eyelids heavy from your orgasm. “Do it here.”

Joel gathered more slick from between your thighs, and the contact gave you an aftershock. He stroked himself and breathed heavily.  He rested with his hip and forearm on the bed, and you turned onto your side to face him.  

He got closer, right up against you with just enough room to stroke himself.  You listened to the wet slide of his hand around his shaft, his breathing, his soft grunts.  It occurred to you this was something he did regularly, and now you could imagine it so vividly.  The idea of Joel thinking about you and getting himself off was almost too hot to bear. You draped your top leg over him. 

He fisted himself and kissed your shoulder.  He nosed your nipple, then dragged it up until his face lifted off your chest. He grunted softly as he pumped himself and pressed his nose, then his mouth, into your neck. He was farther down than you on the bed, and the head of his cock was so close to where you ached for it, you could feel the heat radiating as he stroked himself. Then it grazed you, sending a zap of energy through your loins. 

“I swear I'm ready,” you whispered. 

His voice became shaky. “God damn, I wanna pack you full of this.”  He grunted with hastening strokes.  “That’s what it’s for, baby.”  He bowed his head, and his disheveled hair grazed your cheek.  He brought his face up again and kissed you on the lips. “Gonna be all yours,” he murmured hoarsely into your cheek, then added, “and you’re all mine." 

"I'm all yours."

"Oh, God," he shuddered as he rolled onto his back. "Baby, I—Ohhh," He exhaled loudly and his body jerked as he came onto himself, sighing "ohhh God, baby."  He caught his breath and laid there in silence with you. You rolled onto your back again. He sat up and took the soiled t-shirt off, then laid on his side facing you and rested a heavy hand on your chest.  

–

With your blood finally flowing back to your brain, you considered what Joel asked and what you said.  Yes, you wanted to be his beautiful bride.  On some level, it occurred to you that yes was perhaps the only answer, but did that matter if it was your heart’s desire, too?

You asked, “You think we’re meant to be together?”

“Oh, peaches,” he sighed.  “I’m sure of it.” He kissed you and stroked your cheek, then held you tighter.  “You’re my world, and there is nothin’ I wouldn’t do to be with you.” He rolled you toward him, nestling your head under his chin, and held you until you fell back asleep.  

—------------------

When you woke up in the morning, Joel was freshly showered and standing next to the bed, buttoning a flannel shirt as he watched you sleep.  When you yawned, his eyes brightened.

“Why don’t I always sleep here?” you asked sleepily. 

He laughed silently to himself with a side-eye at the floor.  “Don’t trust myself, darlin’.”  

Your face burned at the implication and you shyly hid half your face.  His smile faded as he looked at you, then he added hoarsely, “God, if you knew how many times I’d thought about you.” There wasn’t so much as a hint of shame in his voice. It had the warmth in your cheeks traveling down, down, down. . . “We’re almost there, baby, but we gotta do it right.  We’re almost there, I promise.” He reached into his pants to tuck in his shirt and adjusted himself while he was there. Your eyes fixated on the bulge in his jeans. “God damn,” he exhaled.  “Turns me on thinkin’ about it.”  

He lightly rubbed his bulge in just one stroke and adjusted himself again from outside the jeans.  It didn’t seem like he was trying to start anything, but he got on the bed and hunger spread across his face as he reached you.  He kissed you needily and tore the sheets off you.  You let him in between your legs and wrapped them loosely around his thighs, your feet resting near his knees. He pulled down your nightgown and sucked your nipple, inhaling deeply through his nose.  Then he sucked his neck, and your clit throbbed against the friction of his jeans.  He hardened against you and kept on for a minute, not escalating things further.  Then he tore himself away with a groan. 

—-

“Wish I could stay here all day and just do this,” he lamented as he got off you to sit on the edge of the bed.  “But I gotta go to the QZ.”  

You protested, “What for?” 

“Somethin’ I gotta do every month, as long as the radio says so.” 

“Can I come?”

He shook his head.  “Too dangerous.” You expected as much. 

“You really have to go?”

He sighed.  “Yeah, darlin’.” 

“You’re leaving me alone?”

“Your parents left you here for a reason, ‘member? Cause it ain’t safe out there. You think they want me takin’ you there anyway?” 

“I know.  But you said it isn’t safe here either.” 

“It’s safe-er here.” 

“Just don’t go,” you whined. 

“If I don't, they're gonna know somethin's wrong, baby.” 

“I don’t-.”

“--nothin’s wrong, but they're gonna think somethin's wrong.” 

“Something is wrong,” you reminded him.  “Abe’s missing.” 

“He–Abe–darlin’.”  Joel sighed, shook his head, and abandoned the topic.  He looked down and rubbed his temples with his middle finger and thumb. “I’m sorry, peaches. I gotta go, and I can’t take ya with me.”

“Will you check on Frank at the Army hospital?”

Joel hesitated, then said,  “Sure, baby.” 

“Are you going to Tommy’s? Bill’s staying there, right?”

“I’m gonna try, darlin’.  Don’t wanna leave ya for too long, though.”

—----

While Joel made you breakfast, you went upstairs to change.  You also sat down at the vanity and used the stationary to write a short note to Bill and Frank. 

Love you and miss you so much, but Joel is taking good care of me. 

Joel read it.  “This is real sweet, peaches.  But do you want’em thinkin’ I’m takin’ care of ya? Thought you wanted to show you could do it.”  He made a good point.  You went upstairs, started over. 

I love and miss you both so much. Frank, Please get well soon.

When you gave it to Joel, he folded it up and put it in his pocket.  He told you to stay inside, and reminded you not to open the door for anyone but him.  He would be back in a few hours.  

—----------------------

After Joel left, you lay around for a while thinking about him and your life together. You went to the kitchen and were about to idly open the pantry, when the counter beside it seemed to move, catching your eye.  There was a trail of ants leading to the apple blossom in the jar. You stepped back. The blossom that had looked so nice the night before was yellowed and crawling with them.  It was like time was moving in slow motion.  You left the scene as it was.  You grabbed a shiny apple from the basket on the opposite counter and went to the sofa to read.  You couldn’t wait for Joel to get home and tell you how Frank was doing.  The minutes crawled by, and you tried to immerse yourself in the story to pass the time.

Only a few pages into your book, you were about to bite into your apple when you heard squawking outside.  You set down the book and went to look out the kitchen window.  You couldn’t see where the noise was coming from.  As you looked out into the orchard, you were startled by a tickle on your arm and flicked off an ant with a gasp.  You hadn’t so much as touched the counter–it felt unfair.  The squawking continued, and you were going stir crazy wanting to go out and see what all the fuss was about.  

Less than an hour after Joel left, you decided to break his rule.  You knew he was protecting you, but it also didn’t seem fair to expect you to stay cooped up inside all on your own.  He could have taken you with him. You knew he could have protected you from any harm that found you.  You looked around and couldn’t find your shoes.  Not in your room, not by the front or back door, not in the living room.  You wouldn’t let that stop you. 

You went outside barefoot, careful to look in front of your feet so you wouldn’t step on anything dangerous.  The sky was gray and dim and the cool air was refreshing even with its humidity.  Branches were scattered everywhere from the wind of the storm. The ground beneath the peach trees was carpeted with yellow leaves sticking wetly to each other.  One third of a peach tree was hanging by a thread off its trunk, the tips of the branches scraping the ground with every breeze.  It could have snapped off at any moment, while the rest of the tree stood proud like it didn’t know.  

You followed the squawking and found an apple tree full of crows.  When you approached, they swarmed into the sky, forming a cloud before settling together on another tree.  With nothing better to do, you followed them.  The second tree was near yours and Joel’s.  They flew toward the back of the orchard and you didn’t follow.  You shuffled around your tree, looking on every branch for a fresh apple blossom.  On the ground, there were layers of leaves and lots of fallen apples.  You were moving your feet slowly and carefully, and your toes caught on something inorganic.  Something rigid, fabric.  You lifted your foot and when the bill of a hat emerged, you reflexively kicked it away as if it were alive or worse. As if you could simply kick away the pit in your gut.  Your stomach turned as you looked at your Red Sox cap on the ground. 

The crows squawked and squawked, and your heart pounded.  You looked around the orchard as if something might be closing in on you.  The trees seemed to get closer, the sky seemed to darken.  Your thoughts kept repeating, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to be with you. Nothing. Nothing in the world, peaches.  You refused to articulate the gut feeling into a thought.  You wouldn’t dignify it. You took a deep breath and grounded yourself, focusing on the feeling of the wet leaves stuck to your ankles.  

You covered the baseball cap with leaves again, burying the feeling as best you could, and rushed back toward the house. On your way back, you stepped on a broken twig.  When you got inside, you saw it was bleeding. 

You cleaned up your foot, then it occurred to you to check the living room closet. You opened the closet door, and the other cap—Jesse’s cap—was still there, exactly where you saw it. To your relief, you also found your shoes neatly laid on the closet floor alongside some loafers and boots.  You left them untouched.  

You settled in with your book again, hoping to distract yourself.  You bit into the apple.  Your teeth sliced right through the skin and sank into soft, mealy flesh that almost making you gag.  You tossed it outside into the leaves because you didn’t want any more ants, then you locked the door behind you.  You sat back down on the sofa and didn’t even try to pick up the book again.  You resigned yourself to facing your thoughts. 

You explored the worst case scenario of what Joel might have done to be with you.  You concluded it was silly to think you had been that important to a man you hardly knew.  It was narcissistic, you told yourself, to think he loved you that much.  That he would really do anything, just to hold you in his arms.  It was the fabric of fairy tales, and it was grotesque.  Especially because it didn’t disgust you.  It gave you butterflies, and not just the nervous kind.

—-------

As soon as you heard Joel’s truck pull into the driveway, your mind returned to Frank.  You had a few seconds before Joel came in, and in that time you realized you should greet Joel before asking about anyone else.  You didn’t want to be rude.  When the door opened, you got up and kissed Joel and told him you missed him.  On your way back to the sofa, you noticed a spot of blood from your foot on the flooring and hoped Joel wouldn’t see it.  

You sat down on the couch and asked him how Frank was.  Joel’s face was solemn as he took a seat next to you and put his hand on your knee.  Your chest tightened at this gesture and the next few seconds felt like an hour until Joel spoke. 

"He's doin' better, baby." 

You broke down in tears of relief.  You would have cried no matter what.  Whether Frank was better, worse, or even if Joel didn’t see him, there would’ve been tears of happiness, sadness, or fear.  Joel took you in his arms and you buried your tears in his neck. 

“So they think he’s gonna recover?” you asked. 

“Think so.” Joel looked at you, concerned.  

“What do they think it is?”

“They’re not sure, darlin’.  S’pose it could be an allergy, or environmental.  So it’s a good thing you’re here with me.”

“Did you give’em my letter?”

“Yeah.”  Joel leaned forward, lifted himself for a moment, and reached into his back pocket.  He handed you your letter and you unfolded it so quickly it almost ripped. Joel slowly rubbed your back as you looked at the piece of paper and tried to steady your hands. 

There was a note in Frank’s handwriting:

We love you so much.  Protect yourself.

----------------------

----------------------

Thank you all so much for reading and engaging with my unhinged story. Y'all are truly the best. 💙

I challenged myself to do the smut scene with little if any visual description, hope it worked out okay.

I do not expect the next chapter to be nearly as long.

There are more virgins on my joel master list, and you can follow @toxicfics and turn on notifications for fic alerts.

All Joel:@ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea @evyiione @xdaddysprincessxx @queerly-anxious @chernayawidow @ambassadortotrilliusprime @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @jasminespringtime @romanarose  @fandomsfallnomore  @djarinxore @blackvelveteen1339   @manazo @wolvesandvampires  @taeslarityy  @str84pedro @lokanda  @kyloispunk  @filthfairy  @fieryglutenfreechickennoodles  @harriedandharassed  @moonlightdivine @worhols @fan-fiction-floozy  @cutesyscreenname  @weddingfairy  @pedropascal-whore  @spideysimpossiblegirl  @feministfanboi @gracieispunk @prettypartyfavor @am-3-thyst @babeincolor @milla-frenchy @switchbladedreamz @within-the-depths @am-3-thyst @may-machin @pedromania91 @sloanexx @paleidiot

The Lincoln tag list will be on the toxicfics reblog 💙

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Date Day Pt. 1

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 16 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist | Next Part

From the moment you woke up, you felt the need to pee. Your efforts of vacating the bed to make it to the bathroom was made a little complicated by the two sets of arms wrapped around you (and in the case of Jisung, the body currently resting half on top of you), but you managed to make your way out of it by rolling Jisung off of you and in the middle of the small cuddle puddle taking place.

Chan was forced to dislodge his grip on you, but Jisung immediately took advantage of the sudden lack of warmth to latch onto the leader with a soft whine. Chan only cracked open an eye to take stock of the situation, and you gave him a quick thumbs up before running out of the room.

After peeing, you came back to find both guys still asleep and cuddled together. You weren’t tired enough to go back to sleep, so you decided to let them be. You grabbed your phone and made your way out into the living room. You scrolled through your phone for a bit, checking messages and emails and sending a quick message to your parents, only to find out they were still awake.

You decided to call them before they went to bed.

“Hi sweetheart,” Your mom said when she answered.

Your dad peeked his head from the corner of the screen. “Hey, about time you called.”

You pouted. “I’ve been busy!”

“Too busy with those soulmates of yours to say hi to your own father?”

“Daaaad.”

Your mom let out a laugh, pushing away your dad so she was the only one on screen. “Ignore him. He’s just missing you.”

“I miss you guys too,” You told her, and she gave you a soft smile in return.

The two of you chatted, getting caught up on anything new that had happened since you left, which wasn’t much but still made you feel like you had never left at all. It was a comfort to know that the distance wasn’t going to change anything.

It was almost half an hour later that you finally hung up, letting the sudden deafening silence of the dorms wash over you with a sigh. You closed your eyes and leaned back onto the couch, and you must have dozed off because you suddenly jolted awake at the feeling of hands on your cheeks.

“You’re going to hurt your neck if you sleep like this,” Changbin warned you, tilting your head forward.

True to his words, you felt an ache in your neck, and you let out a groan. He allowed you to rest your forehead against his chest as he softly rubbed the muscles in your neck and shoulders, and you were tempted to doze back to sleep at his touch, but there was a soft shuffling sound from the hallway, and you pulled away to see who it was.

Hyunjin looked like he was still half asleep, and you were surprised he was even awake before noon. He practically threw himself onto the couch next to you, immediately pulling you away from Changbin to use you as a pillow. Changbin snorted in amusement.

“What are you doing awake so early?” He wondered, moving out of his squat to stretch his legs.

Hyunjin swiped his hand across your arm and watched through half lidded eyes as it left a trail of inky black that began to quickly fade. “I need time to get ready for our date.”

“The museum doesn’t open until 11,” You pointed out, reaching for your phone. “You have … 4 hours until then.”

“Trust me, he might need more,” Changbin teased.

Hyunjin threw one of the couch pillows at him, but when the rapper dodged, he was left with nothing else to retaliate with, so he quickly gave up. Changbin snickered, making his way towards the kitchen.

You ran your fingers through Hyunjin’s hair for the next few minutes, feeling the dancer slowly relax against you, and while you were tempted to allow him to fall back asleep (really, who needed 4 hours to get ready?), you knew that he would have never woken up this early without reason.

You poked his cheek softly. “Hyunnie.”

“Hmm?”

“C’mon. I thought you wanted to get ready.”

“Mmmm.”

“Want me to make you some coffee?”

At the mention of coffee, Hyunjin seemed to perk up, rising up from his half-slumped state to give you a wide eyed but still slightly glazed look. “Coffee?”

“Way ahead of you,” Changbin said.

He walked out of the kitchen with two cups of coffee. One of them he handed over to the now very much awake blond next to you, and the other he carefully handed to you to make sure it didn’t spill. You gave him a smile, and he allowed you to pull him close enough to press a kiss to his lips in thanks.

When you eventually drifted back towards Chan’s bedroom, you found the leader gone and Jisung hugging a pillow, still completely asleep. You sat down next to him and carted your fingers through his hair, swiping the back of your hand down his cheek, and when he still didn’t stir, you poked him. Nothing. It was only when you whispered his name that Jisung began to stir, blinking slowly as he woke up.

“Wha-?”

“It’s time to get up.”

“Noooo,” Jisung whined, rolling over.

You giggled. “No? What do you mean no?”

“It’s too early!”

“Hmm, maybe you just need some incentive,” You teased, wiggling your fingers menacingly towards his sides.

At the threat of being tickled, Jisung flinched back. You only tickled him for a second as he squirmed before you pulled back, and when youu started to laugh at him, Jisung used the opportunity to roll on top of you, fingers now pressed up against your own sides.

You squealed in warning, trying to throw him off, but Jisung was deceptively strong, his weight pressing down on your stomach and preventing you from pushing him off. Instead, you tried to swat his hands away from your body, but he just grabbed your wrists and pinned them to the bed.

“Not so fun when it’s you, huh?”

You let out another yelp as he managed to hold both of your arms down with one hand, and started to tickle. You let out a yell for help in between laughs, but Jisung pressed his lips against yours to silence you. You snorted so hard that it hurt your throat, and he pulled away with a laugh of his own.

“Chan! Chan, help!”

“Chan won’t be able to help you now,” Jisung teased.

You gasped. “Chan?! No honorifics?!”

“I’m not scared of him.”

“Scared of who?”

Chan walked in with messy hair and a confused look on his face. No longer tickling you, you were sure the two of you made quite the sight, Jisung still on top of you and your faces inches apart, but he didn’t seem bothered at the sight. Or maybe he wasn’t worried about interrupting, since all you could feel was amusement, fondness, and glee that he could no doubt identify himself.

Jisung froze at the sight of his Hyung, and you let a smirk slowly grow across your face. “Hey Channie. Want to hear something really funny?”

“Nope!”

Jisung threw himself off you and ran out of the room before you could snitch on him, and you let out another giggle as his once tough bravo disappeared so easily. Chan, still confused, walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Did you call for me earlier?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it.”

“Hmm.”

He motioned for you to move over, and he laid down next to you with a sigh. You lay on your side, and Chan turned his head so that he could look at you, one brow raising in amusement. “Can I help you?”

“You’re pretty when you wake up,” You murmured, reaching out to flatten part of his hair that was sticking up. “Messy, but cute.”

“You’re cuter,” He corrected, and he turned his face away so you couldn’t see his face, but you had a feeling he was blushing. “You’re going with Hyunjin and Felix to the museum today, right?”

“Yup. We don’t have to leave for a while though, we can have breakfast together.”

“Sure. I’m planning on heading to the studio today.”

“Never a day off in your life, is there?”

Chan rolled over so that you were now facing each other, and he placed his hand against your cheek. “You ever want to spend a day off with me, all you have to do is ask, sweetheart.”

“Charmer,” You drawled, pressing a kiss to his palm. You then pushed his hand away so you could sit up, stretching your arms above your head.

“Guess we should get up.”

“Yeah. You want to take a shower first?”

“Nah, you go first. I’m going to get started on breakfast.”

“Okay.”

Chan watched you with fond eyes as you leaned in close to press a kiss to his lips, and you found yourself lingering a little longer than you should have. What was supposed to be a quick peck ended up turning into a full-blown make-out session, your hands holding you up as you hovered above him, lips moving softly against one another while his own palms burned against your hips, thumbs rubbing circles against your skin. You only managed to force yourself away when his phone began to buzz.

He chased your lips and you let out a laugh. “You should answer that.”

“Hmm, I really should.”

One last kiss, this time for real, and you were out the bedroom door before you could convince yourself to skip breakfast and spend the morning in bed with Chan. Jisung nearly bumped into you as you passed by the bathroom, his hair wet from his freshly finished shower, and you steadied him as you walked past, preventing yourself from getting distracted again.

By the time you managed to scrap something together for breakfast, all 4 of the boys had gotten ready and joined you at the table, although Hyunjin remained in his overly expensive looking pajamas, claiming he didn’t want to ruin the ‘surprise’ of his date outfit.

The effort was nice, but it was a bit ruined when Felix showed up shortly after you all finished, looking like he had just finished a photoshoot. While his outfit was fairly casual, a soft blue sweater vest over a long-sleeved white button down that was tucked into his jeans, he somehow managed to make it look elegant.

If your mouth was left hanging for longer than socially acceptable when you opened the door, he didn’t mention it, although the way he smirked let you know he was more than aware.

“You’re early,” You finally mentioned, accepting his hug after you finished ogling him.

“I had something I wanted to talk to Chan about,” He said, glancing over his shoulder. “Speak of the devil.”

Chan gave Felix a once over as he joined the two of you at the entrance. “I want her back by 10,” He joked, and you rolled your eyes at the two of them.

“Yes, sir,” Felix said, playing along.

“Oh my god, you two.” You held back a laugh. The two Aussies shared a laugh of their own, and you pushed past them to the door. “Okay, that’s my cue to leave.”

“Hey, me and Jinnie will pick you up in an hour,” Felix reminded you.

“I know this is supposed to be a date, but you don’t actually have to pick me up at my front door you know.”

“Aww, does this mean I won’t get my end of the date kiss?” He teased.

“Well, if a kiss is what you’re aiming for, I’m afraid you’ve been beaten by, like, half of the members,” You said, giving Chan a side eye.

Felix gasped in fake shock. “They kissed you without dinner first? How scandalous.”

Now it was Chan’s turn to roll his eyes, and you took the cue to leave the boys to whatever it was they needed to deal with. You gave Felix a quick kiss on the cheek before you left.

“One hour.”

You smiled. “See you then.”

[merrybloomwrites]

I Hear Them Calling (Chapter 4)

Story Summary: Alpha Harry Styles and omega Y/N Y/L/N meet under less than ideal circumstances. Overtime their paths will cross and they will be drawn to one another in ways they never expected.

Chapter Summary: After battling the symptoms of touch deprivation for weeks, Y/N sees Harry again in Chicago and he helps her deal with the worst of it.

Previous Chapters: Prologue ; Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3

Word Count: 4.9k

Y/N POV

“You haven’t had a nightmare in 4 days?” Rachel asks.

“Nope!” You reply happily, taking a sip of your iced caramel latte. You and Rachel both have a free afternoon and decided to meet at a local cafe. You feel so much better than you had for the last few weeks that you felt confident to order a different drink. No tea that reminds you of Sarah, no hot chocolate that makes you think of Harry.

“And you’re not using those coping mechanisms you mentioned?”

“Haven’t needed them in days.”

“And you’re still not going to tell me what they were?” You blush at this question, embarrassed by the truth.

“No, that secret may come with me to the grave,” you joke.

Rachel looks at you, slightly worried and says, “It was safe right? You weren’t like, drugging yourself to sleep were you?”

“Oh God no!” You reply with a laugh. “Nothing like that, I swear.” Though you think to yourself that Harry’s scent in its direct form would probably be so delicious that it would act like a drug to you.

“Okay, I trust you,” Rachel says. “So, have you heard from Harry?”

You sigh, slightly disappointed by the answer you have to give. “Not since the night of the concert. I’m sure he’s been busy.”

“Maybe you should text him first.”

“And maybe you are out of your mind. No way. And before you say anything, it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm the girl or he’s the alpha or any of that sexist bullshit. It has everything to do with the fact that he’s Harry Styles.” You whisper the last part, aware that you’re in public and anyone around could hear the conversation.

“So what if he’s Harry Styles?”

“What would I even text him?”

“You could start with ‘Hi, how are you?’”

“Very funny. I mean, I guess I could. Maybe. I’ll give it a couple more days.”

“Waiting for him to leave the area?”

“Something like that,” you reply.

“Speaking of procrastinating things,” Rachel says teasingly, “have you called your doctor yet? To find out why that alpha knew you’re an omega even though you’re on suppressants and scent blockers?”

“Okay, that I did not procrastinate on. I called her but I can’t get an appointment until November.”

“Seriously?”

“Yea. I mean there aren’t a lot of doctors who specialize in omegas, so they’re always booked. Anyway, she said that my body has probably just developed a resistance to the pills. She’ll try to change my regimen after the appointment and told me to use the spray on neutralizers until then.”

“That sucks.”

“It does. I am so not looking forward to changing meds. It takes awhile to find the right combo and then there’ll be all new side effects. But it’ll be worth it.”

“I wish omegas didn’t have to hide who they are.”

“Me too. But that’s just how it is now.”

From there the conversation turns to lighter topics until you part ways to continue your day.

Another week passes and you still haven’t heard from Harry. On top of that the bad dreams come back, along with the restlessness, and chills. You’ve started using the old coping mechanisms again, which barely work this time around.

The morning after his final show in New York City, your social media is flooded with videos of him receiving his banner at Madison Square Garden. If there was any time to reach out to him, now was it. He said he wanted to be friends, right? A friend would absolutely congratulate him on this achievement.

It still takes you forever to type out the message, and ever longer to find the courage to press send. It’s nearly noon by the time you text Harry, “Congrats on the banner!”

It’s a simple sentence, just four words, and you still find a way to overthink everything for the two hours it takes Harry to reply. You’re taking a walk, grateful once again that you work on your own schedule and can take a break when you need one. And right now, you need one. Because you texted a celebrity and he still hasn’t answered and you for sure made a complete fool of yourself.

You stop dead in your tracks when your phone buzzes and Harry’s name appears on your screen.

From Harry Styles: Thank you! Can’t believe I got such an honor. How are you? What are you up to?

There’s a bench nearby and you sit to reread his message five times before replying.

To Harry Styles: You deserve it! I’m good, just out for a walk. How about you?

The next message comes in much faster.

From Harry Styles: I’ve been doing well. Took it easy this morning, currently enroute to Texas for the next shows.

You can’t help but feel disappointed that he’s no longer just a city away. You know it’s silly, but it was nice that he was so close by.

To Harry Styles: Enjoy Texas!

From Harry Styles: Thank you! Have you ever been?

To Harry Styles: Once, in college. Went to San Antonio with some friends.

From Harry Styles: That’s a great city, love the river walk there!

And so, you and Harry Styes became friends who text each other about random things. You talk throughout his flight to Texas, and sporadically over the next couple of weeks. It never gets very deep, all surface level conversations, but it’s nice. You feel like you’re getting to know the real him, and he’s getting to know who you are as well.

The texts from Harry are the high points. The low points are, unfortunately, very low. The hot chocolate, and roses, and forest smelling candles are no longer helping you. Bad dreams happen almost every night, you’re constantly cold, and there’s an itch under your skin that just won’t go away. The voice in the back of your brain is telling you it’s touch deprivation, but you refuse to admit that to yourself. You’ve never needed an alpha, and you refuse to depend on one now. So no, you do NOT have touch deprivation.

You’re checking your email, and you see that there are still spots open for a job training opportunity in Chicago. You rarely go to these, but it’s been a while, and you think maybe it would be good to go. There are always new types of data software, and you found the last two training courses you attended to be pretty informative.

Looking at the dates you notice the course is the following Thursday and Friday. In Chicago. You also notice that Harry will be doing shows there at the same time. You don’t admit that’s what seals the deal for you, but it totally is.

After registering and setting up your flight and hotel reservation you send a text to Harry. You casually mention that you’ll be in Chicago the following weekend. You’re surprised when your phone starts to ring, and Harry’s name is on the screen.

You answer the phone and he’s first to speak, saying, “You’re gonna be in Chicago?”

“I am!” you reply, matching his excitement.

“Can you come to my shows?”

“Which days are they again?” You ask this to try and seem like less of a stalker.

“I’ve got one Thursday, Friday and Saturday. You’re welcome to come to as many of those as you want,” he answers.

“I think Thursday is an all-day thing, so I won’t be able to come to that one. The training ends with dinner on Friday evening so I think I could make it just in time for the concert.”

“Ok great, and Saturday?”

“I am free all-day Saturday. My flight back home is Sunday afternoon.”

“Wonderful. I’ll have tickets for you for those two shows. That is, if you want to come of course.”

“Harry, I absolutely want to come.”

“Then the tickets are yours. All the details will come from Jada. I’d be a mess without that girl.”

“You paying her well?” you ask jokingly.

“She’s compensated handsomely, I promise,” he replies with a laugh.

“Happy to hear it.”

“I uhm- it sounds like you won’t be able to come before the show Friday, correct?”

“Unfortunately, no. I’ll probably get there right before you go on.”

“Forgive me if this sounds forward, but would you want to hang out after? It would have to be at the hotel, I can’t really be out in the city after a concert.”

“Totally understand that. And yea, I’d love to hang out after.”

“Great! I’m staying at the Nobu Hotel.”

You quickly look it up and see that your hotel is close by.

“No way!” you reply. “I’m at the Crowne Plaza like, two blocks away.”

“Well, that’s convenient. I’ll make sure there’s a car to take you to Nobu after the show Friday if that works for you?”

“Yea that would be great. I’d love to hang out!” You cringe, hoping that didn’t come off too strong.

“I’d love to hang out as well. Listen I have to go to sound check for tonight’s show. I’ll text you soon. And look out for the email from Jada, it’ll have all the info you need.”

***

Harry POV

“You’re extra happy today,” Elin says as Harry bounces around the venue smiling so big that both dimples are showing.

“I am!” He replies. “Thanks for noticing!”

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Sarah asks. “Because it’s definitely not how this sound check is going.” She has a point there. No less than a dozen things have gone wrong since they started, leading them to take a break while the sound techs work out a few problems.

“Just talked to a friend who will be in town next week.”

“Oh I see,” Mitch says. “So Y/N will be here?”

“Yes, and she’ll be coming to the shows Friday and Saturday. I can’t wait to see her!”

“Aw, someone’s got a crush,” Pauli says.

Harry ignores the teasing from his band members and says, “Honestly I’ve been a bit worried about her. I’ve just had this feeling that keeps getting worse.”

“Why do you think it has to do with Y/N?” NyOh asks.

“I mean, I don’t know for sure. But we’ve talked on the phone a couple times, and she always sounds exhausted.”

“I’m sure she’s alright,” Sarah says reassuringly.

“I know, I just can’t help it.”

“I completely get that,” Sarah replies softly, looking towards her mate.

“Fixed it!” One of the sound techs calls out, effectively cutting off the conversation as Harry and the band get back to work.

***

Y/N POV

The next week passes in what feels like slow motion. Every hour drags on. Your apartment building hasn’t switched from air conditioning to heat yet, so you’re constantly wearing layers of warm clothes and burrowing under blankets. The itch under your skin only gets worse, spreading to new areas each day until there’s a maddening tingle throughout your whole body.

Amelia drops you off at the airport Wednesday afternoon. You know she can tell that something is wrong, but you don’t offer an explanation, so she doesn’t pry for details.

You put on your mask before walking into the terminal. It’s a habit leftover from the pandemic, and also a great way to block out the potential strange scents. Alphas and omegas might be rare, but there’s always a chance a few will be around in such a crowded place. You’re extra sensitive to smells at the moment due to the touch deprivation that you’ve finally admitted you have. But it’s mild. Totally manageable. Not a problem.

The plane ride and subsequent train trip and walk to the hotel is exhausting. You stop and grab some food on the way. After checking in you immediately eat your quick meal, take a hot shower, and crawl into bed.

You’re almost asleep when your phone digs with an incoming text. You’ve already texted your family and friends letting them know you’re at the hotel, so you’re annoyed that someone is interrupting your sleep.

That is, until you see who the message is from. Harry’s name pops up with a text asking if you made it safely to Chicago. You practically melt at how sweet it is that he’s checking in on you. You send a quick reply before immediately falling asleep.

The first day of the training session is typical- informative, but boring. Harry’s show is still going when you get back to the hotel, so you watch on a livestream. You’re still exhausted and fall asleep before it’s over.

Waking up the next morning is difficult. Your body feels heavy, like your bones are filled with lead. The chills seem worse than ever and you’re grateful you packed yourself a heavy sweater to wear that day. Not only is it warm, but it covers up the marks from where you’ve been scratching at the skin on your arms due to the incessant itching.

You have trouble concentrating on the training throughout the day. There was one alpha there, and he was somehow in every single session you attended. He didn’t have a bad scent per se, but his presence alone became overwhelming.

By the time the sessions are over, you feel exhausted. You debate skipping dinner altogether but know you at least need some food before you can start your walk to the United Center. The alpha, whose name you’ve learned is Andy, sits next to you at dinner. He seems nice enough, you don’t feel threatened by him, but you still want to finish dinner and get away from him as quickly as possible.

Once dessert is over you grab your bag, ready to escape. Andy stops you before you go, asking for your number. Without thinking you quickly say, “I have a boyfriend,” and hastily leave the restaurant.

You’re not far from the venue, only a few blocks away, and you’re so out of it that you barely notice where your legs are taking you. It only takes fifteen minutes to get there, but you’re on edge the whole time. Glancing at your watch you see that it’s just before 8PM, meaning Harry should still be backstage.

You’re tired, and dizzy, and a little fuzzy, but knowing you’re so close to seeing Harry again has you moving faster than you thought possible. You’ve even built up a slight sweat, and you feel warm for the first time in weeks causing you to roll up the sleeves of your sweater.

As you approach the building you hear your name being called. You turn to see Jada running up to you.

 “I didn’t think you’d be here so early! Glad I was talking to one of the security guards, you walked right past the entrance,” she says.

You smile as she hands you your VIP badge and leads you inside.

“Harry has a few minutes before he needs to finish getting ready. He’ll be glad you made it before he goes on, I know he’s been dying to see you,” Jada says, causing you to blush.

“Well, I can’t wait to see him either,” you reply.

She knocks on a door which opens a second later. The first person you see is Mitch, who gives you a hug as he says, “Hey kid, good to see you again.”

“You too!” you answer, somewhat surprised by the warm greeting.

Sarah’s there too, pulling you in to a hug next. The moment her arms wrap around your shoulders, you’re overcome with a wave of dizziness. Black spots flash in your vision and you blink rapidly to try and clear them.

“You okay, love?” she asks as she lets go and takes a step back.

After a couple deep breaths you answer, “I’m good. Practically ran here from dinner, still catching my breath I guess.”

Harry, who’s been quietly watching you quickly walks to the fridge and grabs a water bottle. You reach out your hand so he can pass it to you, and see his eyes focus on your arm. There’s no way he missed the angry red scratch marks there, but you immediately pull your sleeves back down to hide them anyway.

“Can we have a moment?” Harry asks, causing Mitch, Sarah, and Jada to promptly exit and close the door behind them. He motions to the couch, and you’re reminded of the last time the two of you were in his dressing room together.

Like the last time, you sit next to each other, but he seems to be giving you more space. This confuses you. If he’s so excited to see you, why didn’t he greet you with a hug like everyone else? And why is he so far away now? And why does he seem so serious instead of happy?

“Y/N, I have a question, and it’s kind of personal, but I’d like you to answer honestly,” he starts.

“Okay,” you reply, taken aback by this turn of events.

He’s quiet for a moment, seeming to think of exactly what he wants to ask. Finally, he settles on, “Where did those scratches come from?”

“My arms were itchy,” you reply. Not a lie, though probably not the full truth he’s looking for.

“And the dizziness? Cause I don’t think it was from your walk. You seemed fine until Sarah touched you. Until an alpha touched you.”

You know what he’s getting at. He’s no dummy. Just minutes after seeing you he’s figured out what you’ve been hiding for weeks. Hiding from everyone, including yourself.

He watches you, and you know he’s waiting for an answer. But you can’t think of one to give him. So, he continues, “Y/N, I think you have touch deprivation. Is that fair to say?”

You let out a shuddery breath and nod. “Yea, that’s fair to say.”

“It seems pretty severe.”

You finally decide to open up, saying, “It’s been getting worse the past couple weeks. I don’t think my meds are working anymore, and the soonest doctors appointment I could get still isn’t for a couple weeks.”

“I’m worried you’re close to a drop. Like, any minute now. Or that you’ll go under if I touch you. You realize that you were close with Sarah, right? That if you’d stayed in contact with her, or if she’d released any pheromones you’d be in a full drop right now?”

Part of you wants to snark back, yell at him for going full alpha male and acting like he knows your body better than you. But the problem is, he’s right. It’s been so long since the last time you dropped that you forgot what it’s like. You forgot what the signs are.

But now that he’s pointed out the obvious, you really start to feel it. He sees as you deflate, starting to fold in on yourself. His hand reaches out, wanting to comfort you in some way, but he can’t. He can’t risk sending you into a drop, not when he has a show to do in just twenty minutes.

“You’re right,” you finally say. “I didn’t realize it. I thought I was handling it, that I could make it to my doctor’s visit and get new soothers and I’d be okay. I just don’t know what to do if I don’t have meds that work.”

“I’d like to help you, if you’ll let me.”

You finally meet his eyes and see that he’s completely serious.

After a moment you nod and reply, “Okay.”

“Okay? You’ll let me help?”

“Yes. I don’t know what else to do. And uhm, I trust you. You’re a good person, Harry. A good alpha.”

He smiles at your words before glancing at the clock and saying, “I have to finish getting ready in a minute. I’d still like to hang out after the concert. I think it might be healthy for you to do a drop with me there, if you’re comfortable with that?”

“I mean, I don’t like dropping. It’s only happened to me twice before and I was alone each time, so they weren’t good experiences. But maybe it will be different if you’re there?”

“I can help you through it, if you’ll let me.”

“What would you do to help? Like, how do alphas help omegas through that?”

“It depends on what you consent to but ah, I would hold you, help you get the touch your omega needs. Most alphas will scent the omega. It lets them know that they’re not alone, that someone is there protecting them, keeping them safe while they can’t do so themselves. I’d also release calming pheromones to keep your omega relaxed.”

“Okay. I’m okay with all of that. I’d like that,” you answer. Truthfully you’re a bit nervous. Harry Styles has just offered to hold you, to scent you for goodness sakes. That’s incredibly intimate. But you’ve felt so awful for weeks, and there are still weeks to go before you can get new soothers. And this is kind of a dream come true.

“Do you want to stay here for the concert? You can hang in here or go to the VIP box. Or you can head to the hotel now and take it easy if you’d like,” he says.

“I’ll stay in here if that’s alright,” you reply.

“It’s more than alright,” he answers. “And if at any point you want to get out of here just text Jada. She can arrange a ride back to my hotel and I’ll meet you there after the show. Or if you change your mind she can get you a ride back to your hotel too.”

“Thank you, Harry. For everything.”

“Of course. I know I don’t know you all that well, but I care about you. Anyway, I uhm, need to get dressed so I’m just gonna step into the bathroom for a moment.”

“I can go in the hall for a minute, get out of your way-”

“Nonsense. You’re not in the way. I’ll be right back.”

Harry finishes getting ready, and you make yourself comfortable on the couch. A couple of people come in, touching up his hair and make-up and before you know it he’s heading to the stage.

You watch on the screen in the room for the first few songs. After a while Jada joins you and you ask if you can watch from the VIP section for a bit. It goes well until Harry and the band take a break. You’d been so focused on the music that you were distracted from everything else around you.

But now all you can hear are all the other people, and it’s overwhelming. It becomes difficult to breathe, and you start to see dark spots once again.

You turn to Jada, and she immediately leads you back to the dressing room.

“Do you want to wait for Harry, or do you want to leave now?” she asks.

“I think I should go,” you reply.

“To your hotel, or his?”

“Harry’s, please.”

“Okay, wait here, I’ll get the car and come back for you in a minute.”

You sit back on the couch, seeking out Harry’s scent to calm you, but it’s barely noticeable.

Jada comes back and you follow her to the car. It’s a quiet ride to the hotel, and once there, she goes with you to the suite.

His room is on the top floor. It’s big, basically a full apartment, and you stay in what seems to be the living room. Jada sits on the couch with you, and you say, “I feel like you have more important things to do than babysit me.”

She laughs and says, “It’s not babysitting. I like hanging out with you. And you’re a priority to Harry. Which makes you a priority to me.”

The two of you lapse into a comfortable silence for a while until Jada’s phone buzzes. “Shows over,” she says. “Harry’s just getting changed and then he’ll be here soon. He said you can borrow some of his clothes if you want to get comfy.”

You hesitate and she adds, “I have no problem going through his stuff. I can grab you some clothes if you want.” You laugh at that and nod.

A short while later you’ve changed into a pair of Harry’s sweatpants, as well as a t-shirt and hoodie. They smell like him, and you shamelessly inhale the scent you’ve been craving for weeks. The suite door opens, and Harry walks in, looking incredibly cozy in his own pair of sweats.

“Thank you, Jada,” he says. “Get some rest, you’ve earned it.”

“Night guys,” she says as she leaves the room.

You’re left alone with Harry. It feels different, here in his hotel room, surrounded by his belongings, while you’re wearing his clothes.

“You left early,” he says.

“Sorry,” you reply.

“Don’t be. I’m just worried as to why you left.”

“I was just overwhelmed. Needed some quiet.”

“I understand. Y/N, are you ready for this? You still seem on the edge of a drop.”

“I’m ready.”

“And have you changed your mind about anything? Or is it okay if I hold and scent you through this?”

You pause for a moment, scared at how vulnerable you’re about to be. “I haven’t changed my mind. I want you to do that. I trust you.”

He takes a step towards you. “Thank you, for trusting me. We’ll probably be more comfortable in the bed.”

“Lead the way,” you say.

It’s awkward at first, the two of you sitting next to each other in his bed, backs resting against the headboard.

He turns to you and says, “Can I hold you now?”

You nod, and his arms wrap around you, pulling you until you’re tucked under his chin and resting against his chest.

Everything starts to get fuzzy, and you feel yourself losing consciousness. It’s an unsettling feeling, but you know that Harry is there to help you through this.

The last thing you hear before it all goes black is Harry calmly saying, “I’ve got you. Let go. It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Harry can’t describe the helplessness he feels as you go limp in his arms. He doesn’t allow himself to stress, or panic, knowing that his emotions will impact you. Instead, he takes some calming breaths and thinks through everything he knows he needs to do in this situation.

He hears you whimper quietly as you start to shiver, and he doesn’t hesitate to soothe you. It takes some maneuvering, but soon you’re both laying down in the bed. He tucks his nose into your neck and begins to scent you, releasing calming pheromones until you relax.

It continues this way for the next couple of hours. Harry holds you, and scents you, his nose rubbing against the gland in your neck. During one moment when you seem particularly distressed he can’t help but place kisses there to soothe you faster.

Finally, you start to stir. It takes longer than Harry had anticipated, so he’s relieved when your eyes meet his after hours of being closed.

“Hey there,” he says with a soft smile.

“Hi,” you answer groggily. “How long?”

“Couple hours. Your inner omega needed the rest. Now you need some too. Go to sleep, I’ve got you.”

It’s the same words he said before you dropped. You wish you could hear that all the time. No one has cared for you before, not like this. It feels good, but you remind yourself not to get used to it. Still, you curl into his embrace, enjoying every moment of contact with Harry that you can get.

The next thing you know, it’s late morning. You’re still cuddling against Harry, and his deep breaths indicate he’s still sleeping.

You feel amazing. You’re nice and warm, your mind is clear, and the constant itch and restlessness are nonexistent. You’re extremely grateful, but at the same time, you’re annoyed that you need to depend on another person just to feel normal. But you don’t dwell on that. Because Harry is starting to stir next to you.

“Hey,” he says when your eyes meet his. “How do you feel? Sleep okay?” God, you could melt at the gravelly sound of his morning voice.

“I’m good. Feel better than I have in a long time. And according to that clock, I slept wonderfully.” The two of you laugh, seeing that it’s nearly noon.  

“I was hoping to treat you to a nice breakfast, but I guess I missed the window on that,” Harry says, continuing to laugh with you. “I do still have plenty of time before I need to be at the arena. Would you like to spend the afternoon with me exploring Chicago?”

“I’d love to,” you reply. His face breaks out in a huge smile before he leans down, once again running his nose along your scent gland. You go limp at the feeling, happily submitting to him.

You don’t think about the fact that this is temporary. That you leave to fly home tomorrow afternoon. That you’ll be without his alpha scent once again.

Instead, you think about the hours you have ahead of you, hours to spend with Harry. Nothing could be more perfect.  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thank you so much for reading! This was one of the scenes I imagined when I first thought of the story and I'm so happy that it's finally shared with you all!

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[spidermans-l-o-v-e-r]

Strawberries and Cream presents: ✨A Day with Buck✨

Pairing: Buck x reader

Word count: 3.7

Masterlist

Notes: This is literally born from the fact that I think chapter 3 was going to be close to over 9k if I didn’t do some serious editing. I literally took the end of chapter 3 and made it the beginning of chapter 4 🤣🤣 p.s it’s me again this was all in vain it’s still that long

Buck is a cuddle monster.

He clings to you as you lay in bed, your arms crossed over your chest. He’d made you get in bed with him, said you guys used to share as kids anyway and that he’d stay to his own side.

Literally 10 minutes later he was curled into your back, and five minutes after that he had his arms wrapped tightly around you. This was so him, even as a child when you’d share a bed with him and Maddie you’d wake up to his legs over you and his head on Maddie’s stomach.

“Buck?” You poke at his arm, It’s around noon now. Eddie had dropped you off that morning with a kiss to your forehead and a promise that he’d text you when he woke up.

“Hm?” He groans softly, opening one eye. He looks up at you, giving you a sleepy grin “What’s up kiddo”

You roll your eyes at him, turning in his arms to shove him away

“Get your fat paws off of me, I have to pee” You whine, clawing your way out of his arms. He rolls over, letting you go and grabs his phone. You come back a few minutes later and he doesn’t look up

“Did you spray before you left?”

“I literally just peed!!”

“Pfft yeah okay sure. Miss Stinkypants”

When you were a child you’d accidentally soiled your literal diaper while you were in your car seat on a road trip and Buck never let you live it down. After 20 something years he still called you Miss Stinkypants even Maddie had done it a few times and both of them died laughing every time. Who needed siblings when you had these two

1:25 pm

Buck is sitting on the couch when you come back down from the bedroom, he’s playing animal crossing and cleaning up his island

“Charge your switch we can play together” He nods over to the charger in the wall and you grab yours from the coffee table, plugging it in. He proudly shows you around “BuckTopia” and all of his favorite villagers. Though he’s waiting to get rid of Hippeux, he hates him. He loves Bea and Fauna and he’s got a love hate relationship with Canberra. Eventually you show off your island, “Faeton” and he’s incredibly impressed.

“God it must have taken years to lay all of those paths” he gasps, staring at your pink walkways

“The initial lay down? God yes. But you know after that I just find 12 piece paths and overwrite the original 12 and it lays itself!”

You two spend the next 45 minutes running all over each other’s islands, beating each other with nets, and trying to hit the button at the same time so your little characters are dancing together.

“You know I’m glad they added this” Buck stretches his arms in the air, following along with the group stretching session

“It’s ridiculously cute” You agree, as you both bend forward and then push your chest out

2:10 pm

“I don’t think you’re ready for this. You’re so not ready for this” Buck bounces on the balls of his feet, and shakes out his arms.

You turn and kick his butt “I don’t think you’re ready for this!” You taunt him and he swings at you playfully, trying to smack you.

The game counts down and you and Buck start dancing in sync. You hadn’t played Just Dance in forever and apparently someone did like his life depended on it.

“I’m gonna kick your ass” He says in a singsong voice, Toxic by Britney Spears plays on the screen as the two of you dance along. He’s not even breaking a sweat

“You play this one a lot don’t you?” You ask him, panting a bit. He flashes you a shit eating grin and shakes his butt

“Oh I’m sorry, I have no idea what you mean” His voice is sweet and angelic as he’s hitting perfect nearly every time.

“With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride

You're toxic, I'm slippin' under

With a taste of a poison paradise”

He turns to you with a whip of his head and you burst out laughing, singing with him.

“I'm addicted to you

Don't you know that you're toxic?”

2:45 pm

“So like… what is going on with you and Eddie?”

Buck holds his hand still for you as you paint his nails, his eyes covered with slices of cucumber complete with a hydrating face mask.

“I don’t know, if I’m being honest” You sigh and blow on his nails softly. Your hello kitty headband keeping the hair from your strawberry face mask

“I do really like him” you blush “But I’m not sure if I’m ready to take that step you know? Like what if he thinks I’m messy? I think? He likes me? But he doesn’t know about my past relationships and like what if that’s too much baggage?”

Buck rolls his eyes carefully under the cucumbers, dear god you two.

“Eddie has relationship baggage too Y/N. And you don’t like him any less do you? Even if you don’t know his?”

“I guess you’re right…” You say shyly, taking his other hand. “Same pattern or opposite”

“Opposite. And actually there’s something else we need to address”

“And that is? Sassy pants” you pull his hand closer and start painting

“You slept over and I haven’t heard any of those details yet”

“Okay promise you won’t tell him I told you?” He can practically feel your excitement, he takes one of his cucumbers off and bites into it

“Promise”

“He woke up hard” You blurt it out, dropping his hand.

Buck lurches forward, the other cucumber flying off his face “He what?!”

You squeal and nod your head fast “I- I was awake a bit sooner than I let him know and oh my god Buck. Oh. My. God. He’s-“ you look around like for some reason he’s gonna hear it “he’s huge” you whisper

Buck snickers, blowing on the nails on his other hand “Yeah I know we had a whole drunken measuring contest it was the funniest thing in the entire world. Are you telling me you felt it?”

Your cheeks flush even more and you nod your head slowly “Yeah…but that’s not even the whole of it because we started having a pillow fight and-“ you stop for a second, and Buck gestures wildly

“And?!?!”

“Okay but this part is embarrassing to tell you!”

“You once had to hold my hand while I got an anal exam because I was pushing too hard when we were younger. I don’t think anything is as embarrassing as that.”

You laugh hard, your body shaking as you wheeze and fall into the couch, remembering when you were teenagers. He was mortified the entire time because the nurse was cute as hell. Of course they had to be cute.

“Okay!” You wipe your eyes carefully and giggle a bit before taking a deep breath “Okay. Okay. We had a pillow fight and I ended up on top of him and I kind of just… did something? Like it was just supposed to be a joke I swear!!”

“What did you do!”

“I kind of sorta ended up grinding on him”

Buck’s mouth drops wide open and he just stares at you. You groan loudly in embarrassment and fall back on the couch

“What did he do”

You cover your face with your hands and Buck starts beating on your leg

“What did he do?!?!” He yells and you kick at him, fighting back

“He moaned! Okay god he moaned!”

Buck squeals, which is impressive to say the least and you roll off the couch in embarrassment

3:45 pm

“He moaned, can you believe that?!”

You, Buck and Maddie are on the couch eating lunch. She came over to drop off some stuff for him and brought lunch for the three of you. Buck spent the last 20 minutes retelling all the details you’d told him, and Maddie is listening with wide eyes.

“And you two didn’t do anything else?” She asks, stabbing at her chicken

“How many times do I have to tell you guys! No! We ate breakfast and that was it!” You stab at your own, glaring at the two of them and they’re both giggling at you

“You guys are literally so cute I could die” Buck sighs “I can’t wait to be related to Eddie it’s gonna be so fun”

Maddie laughs at him “Oh my god, you’re gonna scare her!”

“Related?! That’s not too fast?! I don’t even know his middle name!”

“He doesn’t have one. I’m thinking maybe a spring wedding? Or fall. You hate the heat which is hilarious considering he’s a Texas boy”

“Imagine Eddie with a cowboy hat” Maddie says

Buck perks up in his seat “With his shirt off? I’ve got a picture of that actually”

You all crowd around his phone as he goes through his “Eddie” folder. He’s got a lot of pictures of him. “Have you ever seen him shirtless? You need to see him shirtless”

“I literally slept with him shirtless” you mumble and Buck’s hand freezes. You slap your hand over your mouth and he and Maddie immediately pounce, screaming

“You! Left! That! Shit! Out!” Buck yells at you and Maddie points an accusatory finger

“What were you wearing?!!”

4:45 pm

Buck drags you to Target. Okay so it’s not really dragging when Target is literally the best place on earth and you’re eager to go with, he had to pick up some stuff for dinner. After dramatically singing all the way there you stop at the Starbucks first. You’re looking up at the menu from afar when someone covers your eyes

“Guess who”

He says in a weird high pitched voice

“My 7th grade math teacher?” You giggle and Buck snorts

“Wasn’t he a dude?”

“That’s a horrible guess, why would you guess that” Eddie snickers as he pulls you into his chest and hugs you. Your cheeks flush and Buck watches the two of you, all giddy and trying to hide it

“Can you quick stalking us” Buck pulls him away from you and you turn around, looking up at him. He looks relaxed in a white tank top with a flannel on and jeans. God it’s a good look on him too, those quarter length sleeves are to die for.

“We literally have each other on life 360? It’s impossible not to stalk you. Not that I actually was. Just needed a few things”

“Do you have Y/N?”

Buck takes Eddie’s phone from his back pocket

“No? Are you- you’re gonna- yeah okay sure”

Eddie rolls his eyes as Buck turns his back to them to add you

“Anyway… how are you? Having a nice day?” His hands rest on your shoulders before pulling you into his chest again for a hug

“Miss you, pretty girl” he says quietly, running a hand over your back.

Your cheeks flush as you bury your head in his chest “Miss you too…and yeah we’re having fun! Just like old times” you smile up at him, your chin on his chest.

He strokes your hair, just…looking at you. It makes you nervous inside, a good kind of nervous.

“You know what you want? I’ll get it for you”

“Oh no- no that’s okay” You say quickly “I got it”

“Actually I’ve got it” Buck hands Eddie back his phone and pulls you into his arms protectively

“No Eddie’s allowed, we talked about this” He scolds him and Eddie rolls his eyes, putting his hands up

“I know, I know I’ll back off. I’ll see you later cutie… and Y/N” He makes a little face at Buck, and you snort before waving at him

“See you later”

“See you later” Buck mocks you in a high pitched voice as you order your drinks. You punch him in the side and he laughs, dragging you over to go wait at the end

“So what are we having tonight?” You ask as you awkwardly and a bit embarrassingly climb into the cart. Buck holds it down for you as you get comfy

“Just spaghetti and meatballs, I know you miss my recipe”

You sigh dreamily when he hands you your drink and pushes the cart “Oh god you’re right”

“Exactly”

He walks around the store, pushing you along and throwing ingredients at you instead of into the cart and snickering as he does it.

“Would you stop that!” You yell as you catch the Parmesan before it smacks you in the face

“Do you know how long it’s been since I was able to torture you? Honey I have years to catch up on!”

“Okay well you know what, don't go crying to Maddie like you always did when I get you back. And I will get you back Evan”

“I’d like to see you try”

Payback comes in the form of giving Buck a wedgie in the parking lot.

Maddie calls you 15 minutes later.

5:25 pm

“You think Eddie will like his tamagotchi?”

You’re sitting in the front seat of Buck’s jeep as he drives over to Eddie’s house. You’d found the cute little toys and bought the newest ones. Yes they cost a pretty penny but Buck chipped in and you guys bought three. One for each of you

“I think he’ll like it because it’s from us” He chuckles, pulling into Eddie’s driveway. He stops the car, leaving it running.

“Remember, in and out. We still have to make dinner”

“Aye aye Captain” you salute him as you jump out. Before you even raise your hand to knock, the front door is opened. Eddie leans against the frame, crossing his ankles.

“I didn’t… even-“ it’s embarrassing the way you gape at his chest. He’s shirtless now, sweatpants hanging low on his hips.

He holds his phone up, shaking it “Buck texted. Whatcha doin here sugar cube? Miss me that much?” He slips his phone back in his pocket, crossing his arms over his broad chest and you know you’re drooling and you also know, in your heart Buck absolutely set this up.

“I uh…I-“

Eddie snickers and steps away for a second, coming back with a hoodie on.

“Use your words, Princess. Focus now”

Oh god he’s such a little shit

“Oh neither of you deserve shit!” You say, shoving the gift bag in his hands and practically running back to the jeep. Buck is laughing his ass off as he drives away with you punching him in the side

5:55 pm

Triple C: Sent 1 Attachment

I've named it Apollo

6:03 pm

You giggle as you stare at the picture on your phone, you never actually expected him to play with it, which is stupid considering you bought it for him. Buck is making you babysit his while he makes dinner. You’re both tempted to buy one for Chim.

6:45 pm

“Have you considered moving in with me?” Buck asks as he serves you both a plate of spaghetti you frown a little and set the tamagotchi down on the table

“Yes. If I’m being honest. It seems… a bit more ideal than sharing a house with a married couple and a baby… but you don’t really have the space for me here and before you say it- there’s no way in hell I’m making you sleep on the couch! This is your house Buck”

“First of all,” he puts Parmesan on your spaghetti and pushes the plate towards you “I honestly wouldn’t mind the couch if it meant you staying here. Please Y/N that is an option and I’m willing to make that sacrifice for you… maybe we can share the bed! We’ve had to before, we know we can. Second of all, please don’t shut me down right away. But have you given any thought as to staying with Eddie? Like have you actually? Because that’s a really good option. What if you went between our places? You know… part time there, part time here. You’re not a burden Y/N. Not in any way, shape or form.”

“I feel like one, sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t have come here” You tell him, playing with your spaghetti, twirling it on your fork. “In all honesty Evan?… I want to move in with Eddie. He’s the best option, I know that. But it seems so serious making that move and I’m very nervous about what it could do to whatever the hell our friendship is. I don’t… have many friends Buck, you know that... I never have. I don’t want to lose him because we can’t stand living together”

“I really don’t think that’s going to happen. He’s really serious about you taking his spare room Y/N. It’s just collecting dust at this point. Hell, what if I moved in with him instead! And you took this place? I sleep on his couch more often than I do here” he says, chuckling a little as he digs in to his spaghetti

You’re a bit stunned to say the least. You love the studio. But kicking Buck from his own place is too much, and you know your cousin would do it for you in a heartbeat. It’s been a long time since anyone has done anything for you out of love.

“You know I love you and Maddie right?” You say a little teary eyed and he coos softly at you, coming around the table and hugging you

“Oh come onnn…don’t cry” He says softly, smiling “You’re gonna make me cry! Just think over your options and let us know what you decide okay?”

8:19 pm

You’re sat on the couch, your legs in Buck’s lap. He’s carefully painting your toenails to match your fingernails.

“Okay explain to me again why Simon is pretending like he can’t get Daphne pregnant?”

He asks as he blows softly. You tilt your head to him carefully, trying not to muss up the pink clay mud mask you’ve got on.

“Because he doesn’t want kids cause of his shitty dad and since Daphne hasn’t had sex or even been taught about it she doesn’t realize homie is just pulling out”

Buck nods slowly, turning back to the screen. Your phone rings and you grab it awkwardly, putting it on speaker

“Hi Eddie, you’re on speaker” you say, your words a little garbled with the inability to move your face as much

“Hey Sugar cube, hey Buck”

“Eddie this better be good I swear to god” Buck threatens him as he pauses the show. You giggle a little and you can hear Eddie scoff.

“I was actually calling for you, asshole. You didn’t answer your phone”

“I’m busy”

“Doing what?”

“Painting Y/Ns nails. This requires precision, asshole. What did you want?”

You giggle at them as you hold your phone out for Buck and he makes a little face at you

“You’ve never painted my nails” He says, sounding hurt

“You’ve never asked” Buck sasses him back

“Fine Buck, will you paint my nails”

“If you come here literally right now? Yes.”

“Bro, bet”

“Wait I’m not-“ before you can say anything Eddie hangs up. You sigh and set your phone down, crossing your arms over your chest

“I thought you wanted today to be just us” you say, your eyes narrowed. “And i'm not dressed! I don’t even have a bra on!”

“Okay, first of all, it’s my house, my rules, you wear whatever you want. Second of all…Does it bother you? Cause we can call him back. I just…. He’s my best friend and I miss him”

You lay back on the couch, laughing “Can’t go one day without your bestie huh?”

“They call us Buddie for a reason”

You decide to put one on just in case

8:54 pm

Eddie doesn’t just come over, he brings snacks. He opens the door, letting himself in, because of course he has a key

“Honey I’m home”

He shucks off his shoes and tosses his coat down. He sets the bags on the coffee table and starts taking things out, chips and pretzels, some candy and a couple different ice creams he puts in the freezer.

You move your legs from Bucks lap and Eddie sits in the middle of you two

“Bestie” He nods at Buck

“Sugar cube” he winks at you

Buck holds up four different face masks and he picks the refreshing pomegranate mask and you put a matching headband in his hair. Buck paints the mask on and the three of you curl up on the couch together, he wiggles his fingers at Buck who smirks and takes his hand, starting on his cuticles

“You wanna pick the color?” He asks, leaning his head on your shoulder. You smile at him when he hands you the box of nail polish and you start to rummage through it. You grab two colors, one that matches Buck and one that matches yours and hand them to Buck

10:32 pm

Eddie holds both you and Buck as you cry into his chest over Anthony’s dad. He tears up a little too

11:42 pm

“Why can’t I just be the judge?” You groan softly as Buck puts the joycon around your wrist

“Because we dance together as a family”

Both boys school you in just dance and they laugh about it and make fun of you when you throw popcorn at them.

Watching Eddie dance to “Treasure” by Bruno Mars is fun and it’s even better when he sings it to you. You’re halfway convinced Buck is picking all the dances he’s good at just to impress you because he doesn’t miss a beat

12:27 am

Buck goes to the bathroom, and you dance to “Havana” with Eddie, he doesn’t have to stare into your eyes the way he does, but he couldn’t look away even if he wanted to.

Buck watches quietly, leaning against the wall. The song ends and Eddie pulls you up his body, still staring into your eyes, his hands holding your waist firmly. Your heart is beating out of your chest and not just from the dance

“Man, I told you learning this dance was gonna come in handy one day!” Buck fist pumps the air and you groan loudly, crashing against Eddie’s chest

1:30 am

Buck clings to you and you cling to Eddie as the three of you pass out in Bucks bed

Thank you random person in the photo 🤣🤣

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA For Snitching On My Brother?

tl;dr at the end, the submissions a bit long. sorry if this sounds like stupid teen drama, but i needed outside opinions. (tw for mentions of attempted suicide)

so for a bit of context here, me (14nb) and my brother (14m) both have Parental RestrictionsTM on our phones. In my opinion they are way more severe than they need to be. i am not allowed to have any social media at all, my mother barely tolerates discord. I cannot text anyone who is not my direct sibling or parent from 9pm at night to noon the next day and i cant use any "nonessential" apps during that time frame too. my brother has the same restrictions on his phone, but he has safari removed because my mother said he was playing "random internet games". however, he has found ways around this and ways around the app restrictions. i know how he does it. i really dont have any intention of telling our mother, its none of my business and i honestly dont care that much.

I recently moved to a new school. My brother and i were homeschooled prior to this during covid. And it was fine. We went to a homeschool co-op twice a week. A year ago we were both enrolled in Local Community College as dual enrollment students. A semester into that i was Not Vibing Well and ended up having a breakdown and getting a therapist. I would talk to her directly about this but i havent been able to see her in weeks due to scheduling conflicts. The workload seemed too much to me, there was no longer a distinction between School and Home. i felt like i was constantly on the clock, and i barely saw my friends. In addition to other factors at my co-op, I got very lonely. At that time the limits on my phone were 9pm-3pm (it was later edited to 9am to noon) . I cant remember exactly what happened, but i asked my mother to at least change the communication limits so that i could talk to my friends during the day. She said no, stating that I Do Not Need to Communicate With Friends During The School Day. i do not have a real “school day” i am at home basically 5/7 days of the week. And normal kids see their friends every day at school. The argument got dropped then.

Fast forward half a year, i felt increasingly lonely, out of place, bothersome, etc, at my co-op and have decided to try going to Local Public Highschool. This meant leaving my best friend (14f)  whom i love dearly (for the purposes of this post i will call her Z). Z is one of my favorite people in the whole world, we got platonically married, I lovingly refer to her as “my wife”, and i would genuinely die for her. She got a phone over the summer which means we have a better way to communicate, replacing discord as the primary communication system. Also at that time one of my best online friends fucked up their discord account somehow and the whole online group moved to text. there's about four of them? J, Other J, B, and L (ages vary from 12-16). I believe only B is directly relevant to this story but the others are worth mentioning. Additional context (tw for mentions of suicide from now on), all of those four are varyingly suicidal. B has attempted before, at least twice I believe. out of the group i am probably the most mentally stable.

School starts! I am already feeling a bit lonely due to leaving Z but we stay positive. I wake up for school at like 530 and check my phone at like 6:45. Woohoo a message from B! It was sent at 4 am. This is concerning. There is a glitch that i can use in order to view texts for between half a second and four seconds, it depends, and i use it. B’s message reads “Bye”. theres no fucking reason that they would be texting me goodbye at 4am in the morning unless they were going to kill themselves. I cannot properly view or respond to that text until noon, so eight hours. I wait to know if my friend is ok for eight hours, and at noon i check my phone again. In that time i’ve received messages from the groupchat. J, Other J, and L all received “bye” texts from B at around the same time period. After a few messages, we know B is ok, i dmed them privately and they responded both in ims and the gc. So they are ok. But i had to wait for eight hours to know that. Later that day i asked my mom if she had considered my proposal (i asked her a day or two before if she would at least turn off communication limits because it is also rather embarrassing to be honest to have to tell other people that oh i cant respond to your message right now, sorry my mom has limits on my phone :D. In addition i get anxious when i send a message that im nervous abt and it doesnt get responded to for hours so i hate leaving messages for longer than two hours). Once again, she said no. it goes against her Views As A Parent for me to have “unrestricted access” to my phone. She offered to add only Z to the list of people i can contact during the limits. This is better than nothing but Z texts more in the groupchat than she does in private messages so it wouldn’t work that well. We argued, it didnt work out, i got pissed off and we both went to bed. i very strongly feel that for like my mental health i need to be able to communicate with my friends better than i can at the moment. And i dont want to wake up to a message from a friend, have it be the last one they ever send, and not be able to respond for hours. 

Heres where the part where i could be an asshole comes in. (so sorry that that was really long i didnt know what parts would be needed as context and what were not so i just typed everything i think might be relevant). This isnt something that i am very strongly considering, as i truly dont want to fuck up my relationship with my brother and i love him a lot. I just want opinions on whether it would like be going too far i guess. I am considering offering a trade. I tell my mother how my brother has found ways around his limits, and she turns off the communication limits on my phone. WIBTA if i did that?

TL;DR: would i be the asshole if i snitched on how my brother got around some restrictions in exchange for me being able to communicate with my friends?

What are these acronyms?

[missbubblesoda]

early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon. (29)

erwin x fem!reader

chapters: (1) | (2) | (3) | (4) | (5) | (6) | (7) | (8) | (9) | (10) | (11) | (12) | (13) | (14) | (15) | (16) | (17) | (18) | (19) | (20) | (21) | (22) | (23) | (24) | (25) | (26) | (27) | (28) | (30)

summary: I basically took Isayama’s work, forced it into a romance story, and made Erwin the love interest. Commander meets cadet and they fall in love (not instantly though)

notes: very berry canonverse (but some events were modified to fit my narrative), wasn’t intended to be this long, but it all is in the details right?

content warnings: smut where it fits (or where I make it fit. Also, reader is NOT underage, so likewise, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, please.) slow burn (I really mean it. I’m not olympic diving into any form of smut for the first chapters.) no angst. I dislike angst. I would never. I could never. (Although angst can be somewhat subjective so take it with a grain of salt?

wc: 6.8k

“Lord Angert,” your father began, savoring the name together with his favorite black tea. “The renowned author. I’m sure you’re familiar with his work.” He continued, feigning modesty with a nonchalant flick of his hand, yet the gleam of pride dancing in his eyes betrayed his true intentions. “Even he couldn't resist my darling's charm. Oh, the poetry he must have penned in her honor... words cannot do her justice.”

Your father's words hung in the air, each syllable a heavy stone dropped into the once calm waters of your mind. The golden afternoon glow, not too long ago a source of comfort, was now a fading memory, casting long, distorted shadows as the impending dusk descended upon the tearoom. Outside, dark shades of blue took over the sky, and inside, a suffocating dread seeped into your veins as you recalled the events of that winter day Lord Koch had visited the base.

The Commander. You knew how he felt about Leon. He had made his stance clear that night in his office. And now, you could almost feel his gaze upon you, but you dared not glance his way. His eyes, you imagined, were performing a cold, calculating assessment on you, dissecting your every reaction to find an explanation he could take home with him tonight. And you wished you could provide just that, you wished you could explain that you'd carefully avoided mentioning Leon’s visit the previous winter, fearing the very misunderstanding now unfolding before your eyes.

Your heart longed for clarity just as much as you imagined his did, but under your mother’s watchful, scrutinizing eyes you were trapped. You knew she had been piecing together the puzzle of your relationship, one carefully observed detail at a time, and that every breath, every movement you made would just confirm her suspicions about the two of you. Whatever those might be.

And like so, you became nothing but a mere spectator to your own demise. Sitting there in silence, as still as possible despite the tight knot suffocating your throat. Sitting there in uncertainty, silently praying for a moment of privacy with him, for a chance to explain, to clear this misunderstanding before he left. Before it was too late.

“Our daughter has had numerous suitors since she came of age,” your mother began, her voice surgically cutting through both, the silence left by your father’s monologue, and your distressing rumination, “however, she has consistently declined all their advances.” She declared calmly, while her fingers, steady as a painter’s, lifted the delicate porcelain cup to her lips, the controlled elegance with which she carried herself standing in stark contrast to your own trembling hands.

“Lord Angert, while a formidable prospect, was no exception.” She concluded, taking a sip from her cup, her movements as precise and calculated as her words. And maybe it was the sliver of relief you felt at her opportune intervention, but in that moment, you realized you’d never seen anyone drink black tea so gracefully before.

“Sometimes,” she continued after savoring her drink, a hint of a smile playing on her lips, a small gesture that made you hold your breath in anticipation of whatever words were about to leave her lips, “one wonders if her heart has already found a home somewhere else.”

A sudden, sweltering fever started to burn your face, threatening to consume you whole. Your heart pounded in your ears along with your mother’s last words, a deafening drumbeat against the quiet of the tearoom, drowning out the gentle chirping of night birds that had just woken up from their slumber. And maybe it was the open window and the cool evening breeze blowing against your neck, but despite being in your childhood home, you felt exposed and vulnerable; the urge to seek refuge in the Commander’s gaze, an overwhelming impulse. The need to meet his eyes and apologize for this whole conversation, from the marriage misunderstanding to your mother’s uncomfortable assumptions, was overpowering. Yet the fear of doing so, unintentionally proving her point, and making things even more awkward for him was even stronger.

“Who? A Survey Corps soldier?” Your father interjected, his voice laced with a mixture of concern and amusement as he began to pick up the clues your mother had not-so-subtly dropped. “Buttercup?” He questioned, turning his attention to you, and you could practically see the gears turning in his mind as his keen eyes drilled into you, studying your features as if they would ever betray you and give away your little secret.

“But, aren’t romantic relationships…prohibited there?” He asked, this time turning to the Commander, seemingly begging him to soothe his worries away with a firm nod of his head, which you didn’t know whether he got. You still didn’t dare to look anywhere near the tall man sitting across from your father.

“I mean, I would bet there is no shortage of suitors back at the base,” he continued, his tone shifting to one of protective concern. “But I trust you to keep an eye on my little girl, Erwin. She's my most precious possession.”

“I promise to always take good care of her, Sir,” the Commander assured him, his voice firm as ever, yet gentle as it was on those intimate moments when it was just the two of you, alone in his bedroom, your naked bodies tangled by the crackling fire, his fingertips drawing random patterns on your sweaty skin, and his agitated heartbeat singing under your ear. And like so, in the sincerity of his voice, in the warmth of those shared memories, you found the courage to finally meet his eyes.

And to your surprise, there was no anger, resentment, or recrimination lurking in their depths. Instead, all you could see was a promise - a promise not just to your father, but to you as well. And, in that fleeting moment, as your eyes locked and his lips smiled reassuringly, you allowed yourself to imagine a future where those words were not merely a casual promise of temporary protection, but a sacred vow exchanged under the watchful eyes of your family.

“Alright, it seems dinner is ready,” your mother announced, a contented hum escaping her lips as she began walking towards the kitchen, where the tantalizing aroma of roast turkey was calling. Rising from your seat, you closed the window with a gentle click, blocking out the fading daylight and casting the room in a warmer, more intimate glow.

-

The clinking of silverware against porcelain echoed through the dining room, the aroma of roast turkey and creamy mushroom gravy filling the air as the street lights, now casting long shadows over the room, created a sense of comfortable intimacy.

Your parents, engrossed in their own world of high society gossip, didn’t seem to notice the moment your hand found its way into the Commander’s, your fingers intertwining with his beneath the table. The warmth of his skin sending shivers of delight all over your body.

Luckily for you, your mother’s favorite book: Other people’s personal business, was open in Frida Achterberg’s chapter tonight, and in this moment, with her attention entirely focused on Lady Achterberg’s children and not you, you felt a sense of freedom, a chance to connect with the Commander without fear of prying eyes.

“I heard it from Hansel today,” your father said, his mouth full of roasted parsnip, “he introduced Augusta’s niece to Lady Frida’s son. They’re tying the knot in Orvud this summer.”

“Miss Berger? Marrying that dreadful young man?” Your mother exclaimed, her voice dripping with disdain, as if the mere mention of Marco Achterberg’s name was a social sacrilege. “Can you imagine?”

Your father, ever the eager participant in such conversations, leaned forward, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I heard it was a match made in the heavens,” he said with a mock seriousness. “Two peas in a pod. Hansel is an experienced matchmaker, after all. Ha ha”

You and the Commander exchanged a silent, amused glance, a secret smile playing on your lips as you listened to your parents' animated conversation. The warmth of his hand, clasped securely with yours beneath the table, reminded you of a comforting cup of chocolate on a cold, snowy day. And his thumb, tracing gentle circles on the back of your hand, was speaking in a silent, secret language only the two of you could understand.

“Can you believe it?” your mother exclaimed, still hung up on Miss Berger’s fate, her features contorted into a mixture of surprise and disappointment. “Young Miss Berger is to be married! Such a pity, really. She's barely out of her teens.”

“Well, someone has to inherit that fortune.” Your father chuckled, a hearty sound that filled the room. “She was Lady Marina’s only child. There’s nobody else to share those golden ingots with,” he replied, his tone laced with a hint of envy. “Let's hope the Achterberg boy appreciates her.”

As your father’s voice drifted into the background, you risked a glance at the Commander, your heart pounding in your chest when you found his eyes already fixed on you. Their deep, captivating blue, meeting yours for a fleeting moment before he turned his attention back to your parents.

“Isn't it scandalous?” you heard your mother say, the faux outrage in her voice making the Commander chuckle softly. But her voice was merely a distant, fading melody for you. Because, his smile… Goodness, you could stare at it for the rest of your days, forever lost in t-

“Buttercup,” your father’s voice interrupted the moment, breaking the spell, your heart racing as you reluctantly let go of his hand, forcing your attention back to the conversation. The Commander, ever the gentleman, mirrored your actions, his expression carefully neutral. “What became of the Achterberg girl you went to institute with? The one who tried to set Mr. Gunter’s office on fire?” He inquired, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Lady Frida’s eldest?” You asked, indulging in a sip of cider to wash any hints of guilt or discomfort from your face. “I heard she married Lord Koch’s cousin, and moved to Karanes.”

“Hansel’s cousin?!” Your father’s voice, as well as his eyebrows, shot up in alarm before turning back to your mother, “that can’t be right. I’m quite certain they’re all well into their fifties, and more importantly, married already!”

As your parents continued their lively discussion about the local aristocracy, you leaned in slightly in the Commander’s direction, your breath warm against his ear. "I believe you would be a far better match for Lady Achterberg's daughter," you whispered, a mischievous smirk tugging at your lips. “She’s a chess prodigy, just like you. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky Lord Koch didn’t introduce you first.”

A playful glint appeared in his eyes as he chuckled softly. “Perhaps.” He murmured back, his voice low and intimate. “Although, I believe Lady Achterberg’s daughter would be quite disappointed to learn that I don’t count setting things on fire among my… interests.”

You couldn’t suppress a giggle as you glanced at your parents, making sure they were still engrossed enough in their animated conversation.

“I’m beginning to notice a connection between Hansel and the ancient art of matchmaking,” The Commander continued, a hint of amusement in his voice, “I suspect he’s trying to take over the social scene one arranged marriage at a time.”

“Well, Lord Koch is a wealthy man with five married daughters, he has nothing to do but marry off everyone else’s. Try the cream of parsnip.” You suggested, serving him a generous ladle next to his sourdough bread.

“Lady Frida isn’t entirely without her faults.” Your father conceded, a hint of empathy in his voice. “Yes, a bit conceited perhaps, but there are far worse people inside these Walls. It’s sad to see the way her kids turned out.”

Your mother raised an eyebrow, a silent challenge in her face. “Well, she did raise them, didn’t she, which is a questionable thing on its own. More bread?” She asked, an offer neither you nor the Commander could decline.

“It’s a beautiful house, madam,” he remarked, dipping the crusty bread into the cream of parsnip.

“Thank you, Commander,” she replied, a subtle nod of appreciation as she placed two additional buttery slices of bread on his plate.

“A townhouse in the heart of affluent Mitras, six bedrooms, three floors, and a private garden. What’s not to like?” Your father jumped unprovoked, unable to resist an occasion to display his wealth. His enthusiasm, however, quickly vanished in a matter of seconds. “Except, of course-”

“The shared wall,” your mother and you finished the sentence in unison.

“Exactly, I don’t like-”

“Sharing a wall with the neighbors,” you two said again, exchanging amused glances with each other.

“Exactly.” Your father conceded, a little annoyed at the two women in his life.

“A most impressive property, Sir,” the Commander remarked, his gaze traveling across the room, “I couldn’t help but notice the lack of staff. Is it only the two of you at home, Madam?”

Your mother chuckled softly. “That’s correct, Commander. I find joy in caring for my family,” she said, placing yet another serving of turkey on your father’s plate. “I enjoy cooking and they seem to enjoy my cooking, why would I let a stranger steal one of the highlights of my day? And what’s worse, pay them for it. Would you care for some more turkey, dear?”

You shook your head seconds before realizing it wasn’t you whom the question had been meant for, but the Commander.

The affectionate slip of the tongue sent a jolt of surprise through you as you glanced at your mother, her face betraying no hint of embarrassment. She hadn’t even noticed. The Commander, however, seemed to have caught the accidental endearment, a subtle smile playing on his lips as he gave her an affirmative nod.

Your mother, usually so reserved against visitors, was displaying an unexpected vulnerability tonight, the endearing mistake a silent confession of her growing fondness, perhaps? Or so you would like to think.

As she offered the Commander a generous serving of turkey, a pleasant warmth crept onto your cheeks, realizing the implications of her words. She had fallen in love with him even faster than you had.

“Family is really everything,” your father declared, randomly inserting himself back into the conversation after taking a long pause to sip wine. “Ever considered starting one of your own, Erwin?”

“In my line of work, sir, those are not the kind of thoughts one is allowed to entertain,” he replied, his tone polite but firm.

You lowered your gaze, feigning interest on the food, your face as hot as the soup you pretended to stir. The course of the conversation was clear, and you dreaded the uncomfortable territory you were headed for.

Your father, oblivious to the tension his interrogation was causing you, pressed on. “So you are not wedded,” he observed, more to himself than to the rest of you present at the table. “Have you ever been?”

“I haven’t, Sir.” The Commander replied, his voice steady.

A flicker of disappointment crossed your father's face. “How come? I imagine a man like you, with your masculine bearing and remarkable intellect, wouldn't struggle to find a partner, should you ever change your mind.” He suddenly turned to you, his wrinkly eyes twinkling with genuine curiosity, and perhaps, something else... “Right, buttercup?”

Feeling a blistering blush spread all over your face, you squeezed the Commander’ thigh abruptly, a little above the knee, forcing a smile to meet your father’s seemingly innocent one, and wishing to melt into your chair. With his inquiring eyes focused on you, you were suddenly flooded with flashbacks to that awkward moment in the tearoom from earlier, but at least now you had the warm, firm muscles of his thigh to hold on to for support.

“Your commander here is a fine gentleman,” he continued, stating the obvious, as if you’d never noticed yourself, “a man like him, in his prime, his wife will be a very fortunate lady.”

You smiled forcefully, unsure how to respond.

“Reminds me a lot of myself back in the day.” He sighed longingly, as if remembering a sweeter, more youthful past he could never go back to. “Like Erwin here, I was a man of substance, with a keen mind and even sharper wit.” He recalled, a touch of vanity creeping into his voice. “Tall, muscular, built surprisingly similar to one of those stone sculptures from the museum, if I do say so myself. Right, pumpkin?”

“If you cannot think of anything truthful to say, you will please restrict your remarks to the weather.” Your mother replied, and even though still a little tense, you couldn’t help but laugh. “Tea in the salon, everyone?” She asked, her joyful tone immediately warming the atmosphere.

You exchanged a knowing glance with the Commander, the shared amusement in his eyes making you smile. In this moment, surrounded by the people you loved and the man you had fallen for, you felt a sense of peace and contentment.

-

“Unforgivable! I almost got you!” Your father exclaimed, his laughter echoing from the salon all the way to the dining room, where you stood at the table, clearing away the remnants of dinner.

You’d never seen him so engrossed in a game before. His competitive spirit paired with his complete lack of skill on the chessboard, had always turned the game into a source of frustration for him.

“Perhaps next time, Sir.” The Commander chuckled, making his final move, a calculated precision in his actions that together with the blue depths of his stare, was both captivating and intimidating.

You paused in your task, your gaze drawn to the two men. There was an undeniable affinity between them, a fresh bond forged in shared respect, or royal conspiracy theories, perhaps. Little did it matter, it was a precious thing to witness nonetheless, rare like the unusual moments of domestic tranquility the Commander almost never got, a respite from the complexities of his world. The realization filled your chest with warmth, as comforting as the soft glow the salon was bathed in.

“I won’t be so forgiving next time, Erwin!” Your father promised, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

“I will be ready then, Sir.” The Commander replied, his eyes meeting yours briefly before returning to the board, a soft smile playing on his lips.

The flames dancing in the fireplace behind him, the steam coming from the mug beside the chessboard, his relaxed, comfortable demeanor… it all took you back to that early winter night in his office, the first time he made love to you.

A warm smile spread across your lips, the memories from that night flooding your chest with a quiet joy, making your skin tingle with a delightful combination of pleasure and excitem-

“You love him.”

Your heart pounded in your ears, throat tight and dry as your hands stilled, the remnants of dinner forgotten.

“Mother?” Your entire face was burning when you met her gaze, surprise and apprehension battling within your chest as you wondered how long had she been observing you.

“You are in love with Commander Smith,” she stated plainly, her voice carrying a quiet conviction that sent shivers down your spine.

With your heart threatening to break your ribcage, you opened your mouth to deny it, but no words came out. Your mother, with a keen understanding of the situation as she always did, turned her attention to the men conversing animatedly in the salon, giving you a moment to regain your composure.

“Mother,” you began after a while, your voice barely a whisper, “you have an extraordinary imagination.”

Her lips curved into a knowing smile. “Perhaps,” she conceded, “but a mother knows her child, doesn't she?”

Her eyes, always filled with warmth and understanding, now held a knowing look as well, a look that said she had seen through you, understood you in a way that no one else ever had.

“I know you, my dear,” she continued, her voice carrying a quiet authority, “I saw you when Lord Wald’s youngest tried to dance with him,” she chuckled, her tone laced with a hint of amusement, “and I saw you dancing with him too. The way you blushed when his hand found your waist, the way you smiled with your head on his chest…” She paused, still looking at the Commander, whose eyes were crinkling with amusement at something your father just said. “The way you smiled at each other when you thought no one was looking.” She finally turned to you, her eyes softening when they met yours. “I’ve seen this before, you know.”

Your entire face trembled, your muscles doing their best to prevent any emotion from escaping. Looking away from her knowing gaze, you sought refuge in the sight of the man laughing with your father in the room next door. Your little secret should not see the light tonight. Not like this. Not when neither of you were ready.

In that moment, as if fate conspired together with your mother to prove her point, his eyes met yours, his lips offering you a sweet smile, filled with a tenderness that made your heart skip several beats.

“The things you say!” You exclaimed, looking away from him as fast as you could, your ears burning after realizing your mistake, your voice rising slightly in a futile attempt to mask your discomfort. “That’s nonsense, mother. The Commander- he-”

“He is a fine gentleman,” she interjected, her voice soft, “well-mannered, educated, hardworking,” she smiled reassuringly, her protective eyes wrapping you in her warm gaze, “and my daughter deserves nothing less.”

Your lips trembled, threatening to let a small smile slip, her words of approval caressing your ears like soft velvet.

“Not to mention,” she continued, her eyes momentarily traveling to the Commander before returning to you, “he’s also very well-favored, if I may add,” she conceded, the playful smirk tugging at her lips making you chuckle.

“I’ll take it from here,” she declared, taking the cleaning cloth from your hands, “now go, before your father embarks on one of those ridiculous theories about secret societies thriving beyond the walls,” she added, exasperated at the absurdity of such notion.

With the weight of your secret becoming a little lighter now that you had one less person to hide it from, you settled onto the couch, your body instinctively seeking the warmth of the Commander’s side. Your mother joined shortly after, just in time to witness your father challenge the Commander to a rematch. And for the rest of the evening, there were no more interrogations, no more inquiring eyes on the two of you. Only laughter, the gentle crackle of the fire, and poor chess decisions by your father.

-

“Sir, Madam, thank you for a most delightful evening,” the Commander said, his voice carrying a note of sincere gratitude, “your hospitality will be long remembered.”

Disappointment shot through you as you watched him rise to his feet, realizing the evening was drawing to a close. You stood as well, your feet heavy with the impending farewell.

“Anytime, Commander Smith. Do you have a place to stay the night?” Your mother inquired, her voice warm and inviting. “Why don’t you stay here? There’s plenty of space.”

The Commander hesitated, his gaze shifting to you for a moment before going back to your mother, and from that look alone you already knew what his answer would be, even though his lips were yet to make it official.

“I appreciate the offer, Madam, but I believe it best to arrange my lodging at a nearby inn.” He announced, a polite smile gracing his lips. “You’ve already been very generous with me, and I don’t wish to overstay my welcome.”

“Nonsense, we made you stay in Mitras longer than you intended to,” your father interjected, his voice firm but laced with warmth, a warmth that ignited a little flame of hope inside you, that maybe your parents could somehow convince him to stay, “the least we could do is offer you a warm bed for the night.”

The Commander bowed his head, a subtle smile playing on his lips, "your hospitality knows no bounds," he replied, his voice filled with sincere gratitude. “However, Sir, I’m afraid my answer should remain the same.”

Your mother's smile widened. "Of course, we understand. And we won’t delay your departure any further as you must be tired, but please, do visit again soon. You're always welcome here."

“That’s right, and before you go, Erwin,” your father began, his grip firm as he shook the Commander’s hand, “once again, thank you for watching over our girl.” A genuine smile graced your father’s features before they grew darker, a shadow of concern crossing his eyes as they scanned the room, seemingly expecting an unseen threat. “Be careful out there, Erwin,” he warned, “these are uncertain times and those who share our beliefs must be vigilant.”

A shiver ran down your spine as your father’s words sank in. He was not usually like this, and the seriousness in his voice was as unsettling as it was concerning. If he was this alarmed, then the world outside these familiar walls must be far more perilous than you had originally imagined, even in the ‘safe haven’ known as Mitras.

“I certainly will, Sir. Be careful as well.” The Commander replied, exchanging a serious glance with your father, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken danger. And something about their demeanor made you suspect that it wasn’t titans what they were worried about.

“Mother, Father, I’ll see Commander Smith out,” you declared firmly, a desperate last attempt to find at least a moment of privacy with him. A minute or two in the hallway, out of your parents’ sight, should be enough to steal a kiss from those sweet, indulgent lips.

“I will do it-” your father began, but your mother’s voice was quick to cut through his words.

“How come? Remember Doctor Spiegel said that people your age should be regular with their sleep schedule,” she declared, her tone unwavering yet playful, and with a final glance at you, she led your father upstairs.

“People my age?” You heard your father question, his voice, as well as their retreating footsteps, a fading echo in the now perfectly quiet house.

The Commander turned to you, his eyes holding a silent farewell. You offered a small, resigned smile in return, your hand reaching for his face as if by force of habit.

“Do you really have to go?” You asked, your thumb tracing the bristly skin of his chin. It was selfish, you knew, wanting to take even more of his time, to demand even more of his attention, and yet...

“First Lord Koch, then Lady Angelika, then my father…” you sighed, watching your fingers play with the collar of his shirt. “It seems everyone gets to have a moment with you today, except for me,” you said, your eyes meeting his as your lips uttered those last words.

He smiled, his eyes disagreeing with what you just said, yet regarding you with a tenderness that never failed to make you feel safe and protected.

“Princess-”

“I know I’m being selfish,” you confessed, putting on that same little smile you used when you were just a little girl, asking her parents for candy, “but I’d love to have you all to myself, even if just for a little while…” You paused to look up at him, your eyes crinkling in mischief, “do you think that would be possible…Commander Smith?”

A soft chuckle escaped his lips as his hand reached for your face, running an indulging finger across your cheek.

“My lady,” he began, his voice low and intimate, “how could I say no to such a reasonable request?”

You smiled wider, excitement weaved into the little giggle you let escape, and linking your fingers with his, you led him back to the salon next door.

“Interesting piece,” he murmured as you walked through the doorway.

“Hmm?” You turned around, finding his gaze lost in the vibrant green fields of the painting above the fireplace, “oh, that. Mother fount it at a local fair,” you explained, guiding him to the couch, where you could share the warmth of the fireplace, “said it made her feel-”

“Free,” he echoed softly, his voice carrying a hint of longing.

You looked at him, his gaze still drawn to the painting in front of him. In the soft glow of the fireplace, his features were even sharper. His nose, in particular, was a work of art in and on itself, high and perfectly proportioned, the bridge prominent and the tip slightly downturned…

Goodness, he was so beautiful.

“Exactly,” you said softly, still admiring his profile, “Mother loved it at first sight. However, upon learning its true meaning, she deemed it too provocative for her taste.” You paused, your eyes momentarily shifting to the painting. “Life beyond the walls. That’s what the artist envisioned.”

His gaze returned to you, a silent question reflected in his eyes.

“Notice how there’s nothing on the horizon?” You explained, tracing the outline of the painting with your eyes. “No walls, no titans. Nothing but the bare blue sky.”

He nodded, his eyes following yours back to the canvas, where they decided to rest for the time being.

The room fell silent for a while, the only sound the gentle crackling of the fire in front of you, casting dancing shadows on the walls. You were mere inches apart, fingers interlaced, your body leaning into his, yet you could tell his mind was a world away, still lost in the imaginary realms of the painting. You stole another glance at him, and remembered about the earlier misunderstanding regarding Leon. Figuring this was the moment you had been praying for all evening, you opened your mouth to apologize.

“A provocative work of art, indeed.” He suddenly murmured, more to himself than to you, his expression still contemplative, his voice so deep and mellow, so husky and inviting… It was truly unfortunate that the object of his admiration was the painting, and not you.

Inside the dimly lit room, with the dying fire highlighting the sharp lines of his features in intimate shades of gold, and the delightful sight of his profile staring right ahead and not your way, you realized that the Leon matter could wait a little longer, because at the moment, you were incredibly tired of sharing his attention with the painting.

A quick glance at the lonely, sleepy corridors of the second floor sealed your decision. With your heart pounding in your chest, you took his hand and placed it on your thigh, where the thin tulle of your dress offered little resistance to his touch, your skin burning beneath his manly, calloused fingers.

His eyes, a piercing shade of blue, promptly returned to yours, a silent question lingering in their depths.

“Tell me, Commander Smith,” you started, your voice a whisper only he could hear, “and my dress?” You asked, his gaze lingering on your lips for a moment longer than necessary, “do you find it…provocative too?”

He looked down, his eyes resting on your thigh much like his hand was. And you could see the look of disapproval on his face, you too knew this was inappropriate. However, you could also see the battle raging within him, a silent war between reason and desire. You wouldn’t blame him if he pulled away, but you hoped the temptation was strong enough to make him stay.

Then, as if to help him make an informed decision, his fingers started tracing the delicate fabric of your dress, his thumb and forefinger studying it, feeling its texture, the warmth of his skin seeping through the tulle, burning the fine, very-easy-to-tear fabric.

“Very much, my lady,” he finally said, his voice a gift from the gods themselves, so low, so perfectly rough it caressed your skin in all the places you wished his fingers did. Under the intense scrutiny of his gaze, a strong wave of desire crashed between your legs, flooding your senses, soaking you entirely. And you wondered if he wanted it too. You wondered if he wanted to taste you, to feel you against him just as much as you did… And most of all, you wondered if he imagined tearing the dress from your body, just as much as you wanted him to.

“Distracting,” he murmured, his eyes tracing the lines of your body, lingering on your exposed shoulders and beauty bones, “a man can’t help but have dangerous thoughts when confronted with such a sight.” His fingers tightened around the fabric, your entire body trembling under his touch, the smell of burnt wood blending deliciously with his intoxicating cologne.

“What kind of dangerous thoughts, Commander Smith?” You dared to ask, your chest rising and falling in anticipation of all the promises his eyes were silently making to you.

A knowing smile played on his lips, and goodness, the things that smile could do to you. If only you could kiss it right now.

“The kind that are best not shared with a lady,” he replied, his palm, warm and firm, flat against your skin, “much less under her parents’ roof,” he said, his fingers sinking in the soft, tender flesh of your inner thigh, his grip gentle yet greedy, as to remind you that he could take you whenever he pleased.

It was not until you spoke again, and felt your breath warm against his lips, that you realized the proximity between your faces.

“Would you like to help me take it off?” You asked, the question dangerously tumbling out of your lips before you could stop it. As your heart pounded loudly in your ears, you realized the implications of your words. You hadn’t intended for it to go that far, yet you couldn’t say you were mad at yourself for that.

His eyes darkened, a dangerous glint flickering in their depths. “Very much,” he gave you his honest reply, his voice almost a growl, a raspy, delicious answer whispered against your lips. “However, circumstances dictate otherwise, and a man would be greedy to expect more from an already wonderful evening,” he said, his voice laced with a hint of regret.

“A man would be cruel, merciless even, to leave a lady in such distress,” you countered, breathing heavily against his lips, “all to herself…” You shifted in your place, pressing your thighs together, the need to touch yourself, an overwhelming desire.

“Tell me, Commander Smith,” you continued, your voice both a plea and a demand, “aren’t you going to kiss me before you leave?”

A storm of desire raged within his eyes, your question igniting a silent war inside him. From such proximity, you could see duty and honor trying to keep him from slipping, from making a dangerous mistake, from giving in to his most primal instincts… yet their efforts perhaps weren’t enough…

A dangerous smile took over his lips as he leaned in, his lips hovering a hair’s width away from yours. His hand rose to the nape of your neck, where his fingers, asserted a firm, possessive claim on you, securely tangled in your hair.

“Pretty princess,” he murmured, his voice a dangerous promise, his bottom lip menacingly brushing against yours.

Your heart pounded in your chest, a mixture of fear and anticipation. You wanted him to close the barely existent gap separating you, to claim you in that moment with a kiss. Yet, the thought of your parents returning filled you with dread. Should any of them come back down and see you like that… it would be the end of you. These were definitely not the activities their young, unmarried daughter should be engaged in this late into the night, much less under their own roof.

However, the man in front of you was too hard to resist. He was worth risking everything for.

And just like that, as temptation pulsated between your legs, you reached out, your fingers tracing the bristly line of his jaw as you brought his face impossibly close to yours.

When your lips finally met his, time seemed to stand still. Eyes closed, you brushed your bottom lip against his, a soft, tentative touch that was enough to make the world around you fade away, worries, fears, insecurities, and Marie Dok included. In that moment, when he held your bottom lip captive between his teeth, nothing else mattered but the connection between you. Every time your lips touched, you felt a sense of wholeness that was impossible to describe, as if it was only then that you were sound and complete.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you parted your lips, inviting him in, his tongue tracing delicate patterns inside your mouth, dancing against yours with a practiced skill. It was an area he knew very well, after all. And his hand, once gentle, now moved with a possessive urgency, tracing the contours of your body, roaming over your back, claiming the curves of your hips as his…

You moaned softly, your body arching against his as he deepened the kiss. And you felt him smile against your lips as you melted into him, your entire body trembling under his touch. It was a moment of pure, unadulterated bliss, the taste of his lips, the feel of his touch, the intoxicating aroma of his cologne- it was all you could focus on, your senses completely consumed as you surrendered to the intensity of the moment.

As you surrendered to him.

You held his face with both hands as he kissed you deeper and deeper, pleased, contented hums escaping your lips as you enjoyed the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. His hand, meanwhile, traveled back down to your inner thigh, where it decided to rest for the time being, his fingers warmly tucked between your legs, dangerously close to your silky, drenched underwear. You felt a surge of delight that threatened to consume you whole, your body aching with longing, aching for him. You shifted in your seat, a silent plea for him to continue, to take you further. Yet you knew he would never cross that line without your consent, much less in the middle of your parents’ salon. He was a gentleman, a man of honor. But you… you weren’t that self-possessed, and your mind was already racing with forbidden fantasies.

You wanted to climb onto his lap, to feel him closer, goodness he must be so hard right now. But the knowledge of your parents, sleeping just a few rooms away, held you back, a cold chain binding you to your place. You knew the risks. A glass of water, a cup of warm milk, a late night stroll to fight insomnia… They could return at any moment, and an encounter like that would ruin everything, everything you had built that afternoon.

“Commander Smith,” you whispered, gasping for air as you pulled away.

His grip on your hair tightened slightly, a silent protest against your words, “a little more, princess,” he commanded, his voice husky with desire and his breath warm against your lips.

You leaned into him, taking his bottom lip between yours to reassure him that you didn’t intend on stopping either.

“Upstairs,” you declared, your eyes extending a very inappropriate invitation. Your faces so close you were surviving on each other’s oxygen. “Come with me upstairs.”

A wave of guilt washed over you as you uttered those words. A part of you felt bad about how much your parents trusted you, and how eager you were to abuse that trust with what you were about to do. But an even bigger, better part of you couldn’t stop imagining the things he would do to you behind closed doors, once you took the matter upstairs to the safe, intimate walls of your childhood bedroom.

He stared at you with a puzzled look in his eyes, surprise as evident as the blue in them. As if he hadn’t heard you correctly, you leaned in again, your breath a warm caress against his ear. “Erwin,” you whispered his name softly against the sensitive skin, “please take me to my room,” your cheeks burned with a delightful blend of excitement and nervousness as you continued, “and once there…” you whispered, planting a feather-light kiss down the side of his neck, “make me yours.”

-

next chapter

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[takami-takami]

Let Me Take Care of You.

includes— hawks x reader. minors dni. hurt/comfort.

warnings— brief unhappy childhood/life mention. keigo making you feel safe if you'd just let him :(

"Let me take care of you?"

Keigo knows what it's like to be the kind of tired that aches in the marrow of your bones. He can see it in the slump of your walk, in the drag of your feet like you're wading in water. It's the kind of exhaustion that can't form in a single night. No, this is the crumbling that results from years of battering. Years of bruising. Of a childhood suitable for wild dogs, of a mind tattered by the weathering of a life unkind.

Broken, you tell yourself.

Not to him, he thinks. Never to him.

You want to hiss at him, wrench your hand away from his as he rubs the pain away from your joints, like if he's tender enough with your skin it'll heal what's underneath. Yet, you also want to melt into him, to dive into the pool of his love like it'll keep you afloat somehow.

You don't know what you want. But it's okay. He can do enough thinking for the both of you. He can do that if you'll let him.

Keigo is born and bred for the self sacrificial, you think. It runs through his veins, evident in the way he used to return home from work at the endturn of evenings just before the sun began to rise. Nothing in his life, nothing in his body, ever belonged to him, really. It was all just fodder to be sacrificed to someone else. For the greater good, so others can rest easy.

It was only when he met you that he began to unravel this unhealthy mindset. His 4 a.m.'s of waking to the shrill screech of his alarm ringing off the walls of a cold, empty bedroom were long gone. In their stead now are hazy memories of waking to sunrays peeking through the blinds at the highest point of noon, of the pleading look in your lovesick, sleepy eyes as he gives in to your "come to bed?" for another night.

You treat his emotional wounds with the reverence and love that could stitch together aches he never noticed he had.

Why couldn't you let him be that for you?

Why couldn't you let him in?

You suppose you don't want to be a burden. You don't want him to give any more of himself than he has to, don't want him to return to those old habits of giving until he's empty. You don't want to scare him away. Keigo is more astute than you give him credit for. You don't need to utter those words for him to hear it.

His hands tremble with the weight of his empathy for you. When your lip pouts the slightest bit, when you look anywhere but his pleading eyes, he can feel the pangs of ache in his heartbeat, the buzz of tenderness that threatens to spill out and overflow.

"This," he starts, speaking with a gentleness one would use when approaching a stray animal. You suppose you are one, these days. "This helps me too, you know."

He doesn't miss the way your breath hitches in your lungs— like you're starting to believe him. His words crawl over you, making a home underneath your outer layers.

He's confessed before that you are his healthy outlet for it all, for all those urges he can't scratch himself. To protect and provide.

Caring for you isn't a sacrifice, it's home.

"Please. Let me take care of you?"

Finally, finally, you utter the word he's been longing for.

"Okay."

[back2bluesidex]

Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Chapter 2 (18+)

Pairing: Model, ex-boyfriend!Jungkook X Child psychologist, Fem!Reader X Lawyer, Single Dad!Hoseok. 

Summary: Jungkook stripped your emotions naked, left you bare in the chilly wind of despair and self-doubt with an unending heartache. You tried your hardest to move on from him, to live for yourself but failed miserably. Each night you had to come back to your empty home where memories and broken dreams were scattered all around the floor, until one day a little angel and her unbelievably beautiful father came into your life. Finally, when you find yourself healing, maybe falling too, Jungkook had to show up! Again!

Theme: Angst, pining, heartbreak, break-up, SMUT (MDNI) (not in this chapter)

Warnings: Mentions of school bullying, Hoseok is so attractive (this chapter is basically me simping over Hoseok), Reader is insecure.

Word count: 4.4k

Taglist requests are closed.

Minors and karens are not allowed in this blog

A/N: The chapter starts with JK's pov and changes into the reader's but it's nothing too tough to understand. I hope you guys like it. Please hit me up on askbox and let me know how is it.

Main Masterlist

Chapters:- 

Prologue/Masterpost || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 - Finale

His eyes drift towards the window. 

What time should it be now? 10 am? 11 am? He doesn’t know. Not that he is in a rush for anything. There is absolutely no haste to disappear before prying cameras sneak into his private space. 

He should be at peace, a weird tranquility that is supposed to be easy. But deep down Jungkook is very much unsettled. 

As he eyes the wide blue sky out of Jiwon’s bedroom window, his mind reels back to you. The last day he saw you, the way you were standing with a ring in your hands, the way he broke your heart and the way you marched out of his life with merely a goodbye. You didn’t ask him why he fell out of love with you, nor were you curious enough about what made him fall in love with another woman. 

“What does she have that I don’t? Why can’t I be enough for you? How can you be so cruel?” These are the words Jungkook expected to hear from you when he dropped the bomb. But instead he heard you wishing him a good life and walking away from him without a single complaint. 

Were you always ready for the blow? Were you preparing yourself to let him go? He can’t tell. But no matter how much he tries he can’t stop wondering what you are upto now. How have you been spending your nights or how are you coping up with the pain he has provided you with?

Jiwon scoots her body closer to Jungkook’s. Her nose brushes on his forearm. Jungkook freezes. Is he really thinking of you lying awake in his new girlfriend’s bed after breaking up with you for the same woman?

He is being unfair to both of you and Jiwon. 

His eyes close on their own accord. 

When he opens those again, Jiwon is already smiling up at him. 

“Good Morning, handsome.” she says sweetly. 

“It’s almost noon, I believe.” Jungkook chuckles, turning on his side, facing Jiwon fully. 

“Really? Then we better leave the bed now. You can wash up while I make coffee for you.” Jiwon kisses on his cheek as she sits up. 

“No. It’s fine. I have to leave.” Jungkook sits up too. 

“Why? You don’t have any schedule today. Do you?” Jiwon pouts. 

“Not really. Actually.. my house is a mess and I wanted to clean up before I get busy.” Jungkook reasons. 

“We can eliminate these problems, you know?” Jiwon holds his hand, looking a little shy and sheepish. 

“Umm? I didn’t get you?”  Jungkook is confused. He has no idea what his new girlfriend has to suggest for his house chore. 

“I mean… Why don’t we move in together? It will be easy for both of us. We can take turns on the chore and spend more time together when both of us are free? What do you say?” Jiwon’s eyes are full of hope. But Jungkook doesn’t know what to say. 

“I- Jiwon, I think it’s too early. We will have to talk to the agency as well.” Jungkook runs a hand through his already disheveled hair. 

“Why will we have to talk to the agency? They already know about us. All we need to do is to inform them once we are ready.” Jiwon holds his hand tighter. 

That’s the thing. Jungkook is not ready yet. Your words ring in the back of his head.  

“Home? You mean the apartment you left because your agency said it’s risky to share a space with your girlfriend of three years? The same place you refused to meet at because paparazzi are keeping tabs on you as you are rumored to be dating someone else?”

He sighs. 

Yes, he loves Jiwon but he doesn’t know if he is ready to share a space with her yet. Especially when he left you behind in the excuse of his career and prying paparazzies. 

Jungkook concludes that it’s his guilt that is resisting him from going too far with Jiwon just yet. So he decides to wait, to take a little time to think more deeply about what he actually wants, not what he wants to want for the sake of his girlfriend. 

“Jiwon, I don’t want to rush anything. We can take it slow and understand each other better before moving in. Let’s give each other a little more time, okay?” He says with a tight lipped smile. 

Jiwon’s face falls a bit but she nods in understanding. 

“You must admit, the guardian of your new counselee is too hot.” Miseon mumbles as she chews down a spoonful of bibimbap, “he seems quite young too. Must have gotten married to his high school sweetheart or something?” 

You narrow your eyes at her, “If you are trying to dig down his personal information then let me remind you that-”

“Yeah. Yeah I know. Confidential information and all. I was just curious. I mean usually both of the parents or mothers visit with their children. It’s probably the first time I saw only the dad coming in, that too, looking like a snack.” Your friend looks up at you with a quizzical gaze as if she wants you to validate what she just commented. 

Yes. Hoseok is certainly hot and attractive. But what gripped you more is the way he is determined to be a good father to Sua, despite the complicated fatherhood he faced. The concerned look on his handsome face flashes in your mind.  

“Y/N?” Hoseok calls your name as he stands up from his seat, getting ready to leave your cabin. 

“Yes?” you respond. 

“Sua.. she will be fine, right?” If you are not wrong then you hear Hoseok’s voice trembling a bit.

“I will be able to answer that after two more sessions I suppose.” you smile apologetically. 

“Yeah. Yeah of course. I am sorry. I- I am just very worried.” His eyes drop to stare at the floor. 

“Which is only natural. There is no need to apologize.” You voice. Pausing a little bit, you continue, “Sua seems to be more mature than the kids of her age. She is quite closed up as well. So, it is possible for her to hide some sort of things she is going through. I need to win her trust first to let her open up to me but-” 

“But?” Hoseok grows impatient.

“But that is going to take some time. Especially because I don’t think she liked me. She might refuse to come back for the next session.”  You place carefully. 

“Then? What do you suggest doing in that case?” Hoseok questions. 

“I suggest outdoor therapy. Spending time with the counselee and their guardians in a place they like to visit together occasionally or frequently. And I also suggest Friday afternoons for counseling. Kids tend to be in a better mood and far more approachable when they are in their pre-weekend glory.” Your suggestion seems to put Hoseok at ease. “You already have my number. You can text me the place and time once you decide. Although I prefer the slot after lunch.” 

He nods, “Great then. I will see you on Friday… after lunch.” 

Hoseok’s dark eyes bores into yours once again as he steps towards you.

“It was nice to meet you, Y/N.” he extends one of his veiny hands. 

You slip your hand into his, intertwining the muscles in a shake, “Likewise, Hoseok.”  

Miseon claps her hands in front of your face, shaking you out of the thoughts of Mr. Jung, “Hey mate! Where are you so lost?” 

“What? Yeah? Sorry, I was… thinking something.” you reply, jabbing your spoon in your bowl of bibimbap. 

“No. Don’t tell me you were lost in the thoughts of your douchebag ex-boyfriend.” Your friend regards you with fake anger in her eyes. 

“Ugh no! It was completely different.” you groan. Now that you realize, it’s probably the first time since your breakup that you have gone so long without having to let Jungkook’s thoughts seep inside your head. Meeting the Jungs was one thing but to keep on thinking of them even after they left your work place hours ago, is a completely different matter.  

And it’s a very welcoming change.

You sigh, “Don’t call him douchebag. He is not that bad.” 

Miseon’s eyes go wide at your response, “What is wrong with you? He left you for another girl, Y/N! How can you defend him like this?” 

You sigh, closing your eyes, “I am not defending him, Miseon. Some things are not just meant to be, you know? No matter how much time you invest, some relationships are not meant to last. Just like you can’t help falling in love with someone, you can’t help falling out as well. And he fell out of love with me, he found someone more suitable for him. What’s wrong with that? I should appreciate him that he at least didn’t go behind my back and cheat on me. Yeah, whatever Jungkook did, did not hurt me any less but that does not make him a bad person. Everyone deserves to be happy, be loved, be in love… so does he. I just- I just need to accept it.” Saying these words out loud really lightens your heart. Maybe today can be the first step towards your healing, just as you thought at the beginning of the day. 

“But what about your happiness? What about you being loved, being in love?” Miseon places her question. 

“I don’t really know. At this point I don’t even know if I deserve to be loved or not. Maybe there is something wrong with me, isn’t that the reason none of my relationships were successful?” You smile at her with eyes full of tears. 

“Cut the crap. You- I will strangle you to death if you say stuff like this ever again.”  Miseon jerks a fork in your direction making you laugh a little.

“Calm down, you angry woman.” you joke but your heart still feels heavy beyond measure.

Everything about weekdays is fine.. Apart from the fact that you have to come back to a huge and lonely home. 

It’s Wednesday and you sigh at the thought of entering your condo with absolutely nothing waiting for you. The thought burdens you, saddens you and you almost feel jealous of the newly married couple who just moved in last week. 

You punch the key-code in, which is, by the way, your and Jungkook’s birthdates combined. 

Placing the bag of groceries, you take a seat on the couch. The soft material soothes your aching back right away. You lean your head on the headrest, stare down at the cream-colored cloth of the couch, and caress it lightly as if caressing fragile memories. 

“Jungkook! What is wrong with you?” you sigh in resignation, throwing your purse on the couch.  

“Nothing.” He replies heading straight to the kitchen. 

“Don’t avoid it. You have been sulking all the way home. Did I offend you somehow?” you head towards your boyfriend. 

Jungkook chugs down water, crushes the plastic bottle and disposes of it in the trashcan so ferociously that you can’t help but be more and more amused with each passing moment. 

The moment he is about to exit the kitchen, you come and stand in front of him, “Jungkook, what is it?” 

Jungkook takes in a sharp inhale, avoiding his eyes from yours. 

“Who was that guy?” His voice is low, decorated with a buzz that suggests his annoyance.  

“Which guy?” There were a lot of guys at your reunion party and you don’t know which one Jungkook saw. Especially because he was waiting at the exit inside the car. 

“The one that saw you off with a hug.” He grits these words through his teeth. 

“O-Oh.. that’s Taeho, one of my batch mates. We used to be really close.” you gulp at the face Jungkook is making at your response.

“Really close huh? Is that why he hugged you so intimately? Wrapping up your waist, burying his entire fucking face on your neck? Just like a lover would? Just like I would?” 

Jungkook is jealous. And jealous Jungkook is not a good news. So you clear your voice as you choose your words carefully. 

“I admit that he was a little touchy. But he has always been like this with everyone. I promise, Jungkook, he didn’t have any other intention.” you reply calmly. 

“Really? Are you sure?” your boyfriend starts backing you up on the kitchen counter and soon you feel the cold countertop through the material of your dress. 

“Yes. hundred percent.” Jungkook’s tattooed arm comes to rest on one of your cheeks. 

“Good.” his body presses onto yours. “You know I love you, right? I am sorry for my behavior earlier. I just can’t see you with anyone else. What if they steal you from me?” Jungkook’s expression softens and an adorable pout takes over his lips. 

You giggle a little, “I know. And you, too, should know that nobody can take me away from you unless you give up on me.” 

“I am never gonna give up on you.” whispering these words, Jungkook brings his lips to yours. Locking two pairs of the soft pillowy muscles as if to seal the deal. 

A lone tear rolls down your cheek as you stare at the kitchen counter at present. Jungkook gave up on you and your love so easily, so fast and so readily that you didn’t even get the chance to ask him why and how. He looked so dejected the moment you pulled out the ring, that you had to take a step back out of embarrassment. You felt like you were throwing yourself at him when he was not at all willing to look at you properly. 

You are about to reach for the tissue box kept on the coffee table but you feel your work phone buzzing inside your coat pocket. It’s a text from an unknown number, probably from one of your new patients. 

“Hi.” “Seodaemun Children Park, Friday, 3:30 pm.”  “- Jung Hoseok.” 

If you are excited for an outdoor therapy, then you are not showing it on your face and absolutely not with your dress. 

You decided to keep it casual with a pair of denim boyfriend jeans and a lavender-colored knitted top. You check your face a little before getting out of your car. You look fine. Not that you want to look extra pretty or something, it’s just that you don’t want to convey your internal troubles through your face. 

A gush of fresh wind hits you as soon as you step out of the stuffy interior of your car. And you are smiling, without even noticing. 

You decide to take a moment to admire the beauty of fall, the light chill in the wind and the dimmed sun heading in the west. Maybe Miseon was right. You should have taken a walk around your neighborhood instead of drowning yourself in bottles of Soju back in the days of your pity party. 

Sighing to yourself, you pull out your phone from your purse to call Mr. Jung. 

He receives it just after the first ring. 

"Hello, Mr. Jung. This is Dr. Y/N. I have arrived at the park." You speak into the device. 

"Hey, Y/N. Just walk straight from the entrance and you will see a huge fountain. We are sitting at a bench right beside that." His voice comes out thicker through the speaker of your phone but you can feel the cherriness in it regardless. 

"Okay." You reply briefly as you cut the call.

Unlike you, Mr. Jung has chosen to dress formally. A dark blue three piece suit paired with equally majestic dark Chelsea boots signify an aura of authority in him. The attorney badge, sitting right on his suit, makes him look even sexier all together. He sits cross-legged, a sight that could take anyone's breath away. 

You stare at him from a distance, unable to keep your eyes off of the man for some mysterious reasons. However, you compose yourself before it's too late and look around for Sua. 

She's on the seesaw. She has her signature pigtails with adorable pink bows matching her pink dress perfectly. But the best thing is, she's smiling widely, which makes her look so damn cute. This father-daughter duo could kill people with their looks alone. 

You start walking towards Mr. Jung but Sua sees you before him. Her expressions turn somber as she registers you walking towards her dad. 

"Mr. Jung." You breathe out, standing beside the bench.

"Y/N." He stands up and greets you with the most beautiful smile you have ever had the opportunity to witness. And suddenly you find it hard to breathe.  

"I thought you agreed to call me by my name, which is Hoseok, in case you don't remember." He teases you with a playful grin.

Your cheeks hit up with embarrassment "Ah, yeah. I'm sorry. I tend to be forgetful. But I didn't forget your name, Hoseok." 

"That's good. I would have been seriously offended if you did." He teases you again, gesturing you to sit beside him.

“How is her mood today?” you question, sitting down beside him while keeping a respectable distance between your bodies. 

“Gloomy as always. But she brightened up as soon as I told her we were going to grab some ice-cream here in the park.” Hoseok replies, staring at Sua. 

“Did you see her face turning grey again as I walked in?”  You continue staring at Sua as she climbs off the seesaw and starts walking towards the bench.

“Umm.. yeah. She is usually very friendly but then again she is not quite herself these days.” Hoseok sighs. 

“Hmm noted.” you mumble. 

“Hey my little girl.” Hoseok coos as Sua runs into his embrace. She pulls his collar with her little hands lowering him down to her level to whisper something in his ear. 

“What is she doing here?” you hear her say. It’s impossible to resist your laugh at this cutely angry baby who is very displeased at your presence. 

“Sua. Where are your manners?” Hoseok scolds her. 

“Hey. it’s alright.” you stop him, without realizing that you have reached for his arm in the process and placed your right hand there. 

Hoseok’s eyes shift towards your hold and you remove your hand as swiftly as possible, mumbling a quick apology.   

“I didn’t mind a bit.” Hoseok whispers. There is an undertone in his voice and again you don’t know what it is. 

You have never been as clueless as you are about Hoseok.

Reading people has always been one of your greatest abilities, even far before you got into psychotherapy. Understanding what’s going inside someone’s head is nothing too hard for you. But with Hoseok it’s different. You feel exposed under his dark gaze when you should be the one to make him feel intimidated with you.  

The way he looks at you, makes you feel like he knows exactly how troubled you are, how lonely you feel and how broken you have become. 

Realizing you have been lost in Hoseok’s eyes for far too long, you avert your gaze to Sua. 

“Hey Sua. Annyeong.” you give her a big smile but she remains unfazed. 

“Annoyeng.” her small voices is sounds whiny. 

You sigh. She is harder to approach than you assumed. 

“You know my friends just ditched me. They went shopping without telling me that they had changed their plans. I was feeling so down, so I called daddy and asked him if I could see you.” you can feel Hoseok’s eyes still trained on your profile. 

“Really? Your friends went without you?” from her voice you know she relates. And that is the main reason why you chose this lie. 

“Yup. But it’s alright if you don’t want me to be here. I will-” You start standing up faking to leave the park. 

Sua cuts you off, “No. You can be here.” 

Great. That’s what you wanted all along, “Really? I can?” 

She nods. 

Your eyes divert to Hoseok again, who is staring at you with amusement in his eyes. 

“Then do you want to go swinging with me?” You ask the little girl pointing towards the pair of swings a little far away. 

She looks at Hoseok for permission and when he gives her an affirmative sign, she mumbles a little yes. So you extend your hand towards her, hold her and walk her towards the swing. 

“You know, I used to be so afraid of swings when I was little.” you are staring at the ground but you can feel Sua’s eyes at you. 

“Why?” she asks. You feel a sense of accomplishment as she is finally interacting with you. 

“One of my classmates pushed me so hard that I flew off the swing and ended up hurting both of my knees.” You laugh a little, “I didn’t go near swings for a long time after that.”

“And now? You are not afraid of swings anymore?” She stops her swing rendering it out of motion. Her full concentration is on you. 

“No. I grew up so tall. See.” You show yourself off by expanding your legs.

“So.. when I grow up tall I won’t be afraid of Jaemin anymore?” she looks up at you, her expression is filled with fear. You know you need to be more careful from here. 

“Umm.. that depends on why you are afraid of Jaemin. Is he… your classmate?” you speak softly. 

Sua diverts her attention to her shoes, kicking dirt and avoiding looking into your eyes. She stays silent for a moment and you don’t push her to talk. 

“Yes. He- he is a bad boy.” her soft voice quivers. 

Another case of school bullying. Most of the teenagers you counsel are either a victim of school bullying or an unhealthy domestic atmosphere. But this is the first time you are counseling a kid so small troubled with bullying. Usually kids of Sua’s age are more likely to tease each other over small things but bullying is a complex concept. Hence, counselling Sua may not be an easy task. 

“Does he annoy you a lot?” you place carefully enough so that you don’t trigger her unintentionally. 

“Yes.” her eyes are still trained on her shoes. 

Nodding to yourself, you decide not to push the conversation any further. Sua already looks down enough and you don’t want to ruin her Friday afternoon any more.  

“Sua, what do you like more, chocolate or vanilla? I like chocolate more.”  You say, trying to brighten up her mood. 

Her expression changes within a heartbeat, “Me too. Me too. I like chocolate a lot.”    

“Then should we have some ice-cream?”  you extend your hand towards her. 

This time Sua doesn’t wait for her father’s confirmation, she grabs your hand as you two hop off the swings and walk towards Hoseok, who is currently busy on the phone. 

He smiles up at both of you as he speaks into his phone, “No. not tonight. I am busy. I’ll call you later.” and he cuts the call. 

That sounded pretty much like the cancellation of a booty-call but whatever it is, it’s not your business. 

“Hey you girls. Did you guys have fun?” he asks, taking Sua into his embrace again. 

“Yes. We did. Right sua?” you giggle. 

Sua nods giggling back. 

“But daddy, you promised to buy me ice-cream, why haven’t you bought it yet?”  she pouts adorably and you giggle again. 

“Pabo! It would have melted.” Hoseok laughs at her daughter. 

“Oh. That’s right.” Sua exclaims, wondering hard. Even before you know it, you are laughing out loud. A fit of laughter escapes your throat at the cuteness of this father-daughters duo. The frequency of your laughter increases when two of them join you. Suddenly you realize it’s been an embarrassingly long time since you have laughed this loud, this freely, this genuinely. Suddenly, you feel good, you feel free. 

“Do you think there’s something to be seriously worried about?” Hoseok asks, walking you towards your car. Sua fell asleep right after having a bowl full of ice-cream. Hoseok tugged her into a blanket and put her into the car seat before walking you to yours. 

“It will be too early for me to say anything but I will get there soon. She is a kid after all, I can’t rush with her. I can’t dig into her fears unless she is comfortable enough. That will do more harm.” You come to stand in front of your car.��

Hoseok nods. 

“Yes. You’re right.” he murmurs. 

You swear to all the gods above there, they really took time to craft this man. His sharp jawline is a perfect contrast to his soft features. His dark brown eyes glint under the setting sun. And in this dimming light, he looks like a dream. 

And maybe you are dreaming because there is no way he is stepping close to you now, raising his hand, bringing it closer to your face and touching you. But then his fingers brushes on the skin of your neck, gently picking something off from it. You feel goosebumps all across your skin and at the same time your face feels like it’s on fire, bazing red and hot. 

Fuck. You are deprived of touches for so long. 

“Loose thread.” Hoseok whispers. 

“O-oh. Thanks. This top keeps losing threads.” an useless TMI. 

“It does the job though. You look really pretty.” he whispers again and with that heart-breakingly beautiful smile of his. 

That’s it. You need to run away as soon as possible. 

“Ah, thanks. You are kind. Bye. See you next Friday.” you bow a little. 

He takes a step back without dimming his smile, “Bye. I will be waiting. Drive safe, Y/N.”

You finally find your breath when he turns his back and walks away from you. This is unexplainable, this is not ethically right, you should be heartbroken, and you should stay miles away from stupid feelings but you just can’t stop admiring Hoseok. Currently you are more confused and clueless than you have ever been. And you absolutely don’t know what to do with it.  

Taglist:-

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