#and 2) what music I hc he might be into (with just a teeny tiny truckload of projection ofc)

[littlepurplewakiya]

I really want make a Kira playlist but I always get too squicked by the possiblity that someone will find it horrible & OOC and bully me for it but??? then I remember that the circle of everyone who even as much as acknowledges his existence at all consists of maybe 4 people and 5 lemurs in a trench coat pretending to be a person (aka me) and I honestly dk which is worse...

[starlight-loki]

heyyy :)) is it alright if you make an hc for Loki and reader? where reader can change reality like wanda cause she's depressed and she lost her family and the avengers are trying to help her? (I'm crying, I just finished wandavision ;( )

aw mAN MY HEART😭💗

also just a warning/PSA for this one: this deals with heavy feelings of grief/loss (specifically of family members) as well as some others concerned over mental health that accompanies the grieving process? just wanted to give a warning just in case. On a slightly, teeny-tiny, lighter note, Loki is alive in this one. (We don’t accept his IW death as canon in this house ❤️)

this is a sad one, i’m sorry! but i’ve got a fluffier one coming soon, I promise ❤️

The Snap took out your entire family

Like... you weren’t even sure how it was possible that the odds were that much against you

You had hoped with all your life that with the survival rate of The Snap being 1 in 2, you would’ve been spared even one family member: a cousin, an extended great aunt, anything

but they were all gone

it didn’t hit you right away at first -- especially with other members of the team disappearing as well, you felt that there were others who were suffering more than you

they needed to be helped first

but once the initial shock of half the population disappearing wore off and the other Avengers inevitably had to keep moving forward, that’s when the weight of your loss began to hit you

you’d often hide in your room when things got too difficult, only allowing yourself to fall apart when you knew no one else was awake

it also didn’t help that the Compound was twice as silent as it usually was, due to some of your closest friends also disappearing

no one was taking it well, really, but it was harder for you than anyone because of your powers

it was tempting to shift reality to bring everyone back, even just for a moment, but you knew it would only cause you more problems in the long run.

especially with you still being in the first stage of your grief, you knew that if you brought your family and your fellow Avengers back in some way, you’d never want to leave

the dream you had a few nights later didn’t help matters either: you were back in your grandparents’ home as a young child, running around their house as old music from the 60s played softly in the background

you woke with the memory of a warm summer’s eve fading away from you like a worn blanket, and tears began to stream down your face

you’d give anything to have that memory back in the physical world, even if it meant never leaving your room again

you decided right then and there that you were going to turn your room in the Compound into your own safe haven

it would look like your grandparent’s house in your dream, and everyone you loved -- friends and family alike -- would be there.

the entire Compound trembled as you altered reality in your room, and while you were resurrecting everyone in your own way, somewhere across the hall Loki shot up out of bed

he felt your magic alter the very strings of reality

he had given you space to grieve by yourself, but now he was getting worried

you often spoke about this between the two of you -- using magic to alter fate for your own benefit -- and it was something the two of you swore never to do

magic always had a price, no matter how tempting it seemed.

It scared Loki to think of what you might have done

back in your room, there were tears of happiness running down your cheeks now as you took in your surroundings

you were back home with everyone you loved. they were safe. you were safe. no more bad feelings. 

the air smelled like freshly baked cookies and the orange glow of the sunset warmed the walls of your grandparent’s house, and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face as you caught sightings of Bucky, Wanda, and Peter roaming the house

This was home. 

To your surprise, however, you heard a loud and obnoxious knock on your front door

Everything was soft and gentle here -- something was definitely wrong

you opened the door to find Loki frowning worriedly at you

“Loki! You’re just in time, my grandma made cookies for everyone-”

“Y/N... what... did you do...?”

His eyes searched your face, and you couldn’t help but notice your heart skip a beat as an anxious shadow crossed his features

no. you weren’t going to be reminded today.

“Would you like to come in?” You wished there was a way to alter your body’s chemistry, you hated the way your hands trembled and your throat tightened.

“No, but I would like you to come out. With me. I can make you tea the way you like it.”

The thought of outside nearly made you slam the door instinctively. You had everything you needed right here. You had tea here, you didn’t need to go outside. 

“No.”

“Please.” 

It wasn’t a question, it was a command, spoken quieter than a whisper, but you could feel the urgency in Loki’s tone nonetheless.

all you could manage was a shake of your head before you shut the door

that night, you and your loved ones gathered around the crackling fire in your grandparents’ living room, but even with everyone sitting around you laughing and telling stories, you couldn’t quite quell the dread in your stomach

the little voice in the back of your mind telling you this was all wrong just wouldn’t seem to go away

your mind kept drifting back towards Loki, and you hated that there was still a part of you that longed to go back to him, to just be held in his arms as you cried

you nearly jumped out of your skin that night when Loki came into the house once more, silently climbing the steps to your childhood bedroom 

“Y/N...”

“I’m not going back. I can’t.”

“You have to. None of this is real and you know it.”

You pulled the covers tighter around you and try to use your powers to block Loki out of your reality, but he’d put up a shield so powerful around him that he didn't move an inch.

“You know better than anyone that magic has a price, Y/N!” 

Tears formed in your eyes because you knew he was right. you knew this wasn't real and these weren't your friends, these weren't your family.

your family was gone.

Loki approaches you slowly and pulls you into a gentle embrace, and you finally allow your created reality to fade away as you sob into his shoulder

it hits you for the first time in days just how nice it feels to be held by someone, especially Loki who understands what it feels like to lose someone better than most 

he whispers soft words to you, reassuring you over and over that he’s here, you’re safe, it’s okay to cry

there’s a point somewhere in the night where Loki cries with you, because he empathizes so strongly with you and with your grief -- there’s a part of him that never fully processed his mother’s death, and being with you allows him to do that

the two of you sort of become each other’s lifeline at this point, always keeping some sort of physical contact, whether its a desperate embrace or even just your shoulders touching gently

you need him more than ever now, and Loki also realizes the longer he stays with you that he needs you just as much.