#and *insert laundry list of sponsors that is somehow both incomplete and too long*

[whipplefilter]

Bristol [2] 2024

I'd been entertaining these deep fears all week (or for the last two weeks) that the fates would align against my favor and both the 5 and 11 would manage to knock themselves out of the playoffs in the Round of 16. And it would feel really really stupid because the 5 came in with 2429402 points and, despite his penchant for incurring Biblical retributions, I maintain that Denny Hamlin is the best active driver in NASCAR.

Of the many reasons I'd never hack it in NASCAR, my being risk averse and perpetually glass-half-empty is a big one, so I spent an entire 2.5 hours of this race TEMPESTUOUSLY anxious--anxious dinner! anxious tea! anxious sewing-buttons-back-onto-things! anxious dishes!--until the were fewer laps remaining than the 21 was down and the 5 locked in. I was like, I don't care if Kyle Larson swept both stages and is running at almost a 5-second lead over P2. What reason have I to trust that!! The 5 should not be trusted!

And I was also like, okay, self, what if tonight could channel that Kyle Larson Knoxville energy. Knoxville Knoxville Knoxville KNOXVILLE. And then the 5 ran a perfect race and my insides are a chemical disaster zone regardless.

I always laugh when the booth mentions some very Hendrick-specific milestone or record--which they've done a lot this year on account of the 40th anniversary--because I feel like the only person who could possibly care about these niche accolades is Rick Hendrick, but Kyle "most laps ever led in a single race by any Hendrick driver" Larson seems so statistically unlikely on account of Jeff Gordon and Jimmie I'll allow it.

I'm sad for MTJ, but I hold out hope that he'll be able to pull a Kenseth and win a final-season race, even if he's out of the playoffs. And congrats to Daniel Suarez for rising from the ashes!