#anastasiatruman

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Chapter 1: Attack on the Neighbors

Anastasia realized as she looked through the crystal wall that surrounded her bedroom in her Beverly Hills mansion that it was a dark night, darker than usual. Even though there was a full moon, not a single beam of light could be seen in the deep blue sky, which matched the color of her hair.

It was a Saturday night. At 29 years of age, Anastasia was working, writing songs. Thanks to her family name and her father’s profession, she had chosen music as a career and excelled at it.

Her father, Nick Truman, was the leader of a legendary rock band and passed on to all his knowledge of the business to his youngest daughter. From an early age, Anastasia worked hard to become a famed music producer.

One song was giving Anastasia a hard time. A client had commissioned her with a song about discovering love and she knew very little about it. Luckily, she was an avid reader and as such, she tried to invocate all those romantic novels she had read and hated to help her finish the damn song.

A noise downstairs startled her. She looked up from the paper and placed her eyes on her bedroom door, then looked back out the window but could not spot anything out of the ordinary –except for that darkness which she found strange. Anastasia was sitting on a bench next to a crystal wall, from where she could stare down to her patio and a big infinity pool and some classic garden elements such as chairs and tables. The house was two stories high and all the walls that faced the patio were glass. Those incredible views convinced her of buying that house six years ago.

In spite of being born with a silver spoon in her mouth, the blue-haired girl had worked since the age of fifteen; in music, modeling and even found the time to graduate as a professional musician in the University of California. She was not your typical Hollywood heiress living at her parents’ expense. Nevertheless, she had gone through a rebel phase where she partied every night and went on insane trips around the world, spending money without thinking of the consequences. That often put her in the front cover of tabloids, which dubbed her ‘her family’s disgrace.’

A new noise made her look away from her window. This time, it was louder and closer. They were movement noises. Objects were moving. At that precise moment, she understood why the night appeared as dark and in a millisecond, her brain deciphered that she had to leave that house as soon as possible.

Anastasia took her phone and tried calling her older sister, Barbara; she did not pick up. She tried again with no luck. She decided to compose a text message:

“I’m heading to your place.”

She put her phone in the back pocket of her jeans, left the pen and paper aside, and full of fear, headed to the entrance.

Anastasia opened the door to her bedroom; the rest of the house looked darker than usual as well. She did not need a flashlight; this was her home, she knew it by heart. As she arrived to the hallway before taking the stairs down, she felt an instant heaviness all over her body, just like she were carrying somebody heavy.

“Leave me alone!” she yelled. “Get out of my house!”

As she got halfway down the stars, Anastasia felt a sharp, deep headache. She had to stop and close her eyes due to the pain, but knew she could not stay there. As she could, she arrived to the lower floor and adjusted her sight to look around her. The heaviness and the headache increased. She took three steps and felt like something or someone pushed her. She fell over her largest couch. It was a short way until the entrance but felt like her arms and legs had turned to butter; it was impossible for her to stand straight. Suddenly, her sight turned red and it was hard to breathe.

Anastasia had to try with all her might to get out of there.

She crawled and made a great effort to make her way to the entrance when she heard a loud roar behind her. She did not stop to look back. One last adrenaline kick made her get up, take the keys to her car from a small table to her right, open the door and run to her car. Still struggling with that headache, she turned on the ignition and drove until her vision adapted to a normal environment. 

One hour later she found herself knocking her stepsister’s door, in Malibu. She knocked so hard and insistently that her sister opened up, scared. Anastasia looked into Barbara’s eyes in panic and couldn’t keep standing. She collapsed at the entrance.

Barbara dragged Anastasia inside to her living room and sat her down on an emerald green futon. “They were at my house,” Anastasia fearfully told her sister. “They came to get me.”

“The night’s unusually dark, I knew something was going on,” replied Barbara as she went to get some fresh lemonade for Anastasia.

“Do you think she’s dead?” Anastasia asked while her sister offered her a glass.

Barbara did not reply. It wasn’t necessary.

Apart from having a musical gift, Anastasia is part of the witch population of the world. The witch community is much reduced and extremely occult. Witches have been persecuted for years because humans tend not to like what they cannot understand. Besides witches, there is a whole compendium of communities with hidden powers and some of them are dangerous even for witches.

Magical powers were granted to two members of each generation of families that had been initiated as witches. Barbara, who had light, mid-back length brown hair and big, green eyes like grass after rain, also had powers and perfectly understood what was happening.

Anastasia chugged the glass of lemonade.

“What are we going to do?” she asked.

“You won't like what I'm about to say.” Barbara replied. "You need to leave. You were lucky you got out.”

“Leave?!" She exclaimed. "Why were they looking for me?” Anastasia’s huge, turquoise eyes opened wide.

“They know you’re on your way to becoming a powerful witch. That’s not good for them. They want to get rid of us all.” Barbara turned her back on her sister. “There has to be a snitch within the coven,” she muttered.

“What did you say?” Anastasia asked, although she had heard her well.

“Nothing, it’s not important.” Barbara replied, causing suspicion to her younger stepsister. “You should go to sleep. The full moon will be over tomorrow, they can’t attack you anymore. I’m going to throw my moon water away, it’s contaminated.”

Anastasia walked with Barbara to the patio of the luxurious mansion located by the shore of a private beach. There, she had five half-a-gallon jars of water that she placed there every time there was a full moon, to be charged with the energy of the satellite. Together, they took the jars and emptied them in the coast, allowing the liquid to mix with the water from the ocean.

Sleeping was impossible that night. She had faced a beast and she was still alive. Adrenaline was running through her veins and the concern did not let her rest.

The following morning, Anastasia woke up with the sound of the breaking waves that went in through the big window that served as a wall. Malibu had that aura that eased her anxiety and her complicated brain. The sound of the ocean was helpful; she had always felt a connection to it.

The deep-blue-haired girl got up from the comfy bed and opened the window that faced a small balcony, from where she could glance at the entire coast and the backyard of her sister’s mansion. She breathed deeply, trying to fill up her lungs with the salty air and wondered if in another life she had inhabited the depths of the ocean, as a part of some civilization hidden from human stupidity.

She turned on her heel to her bathroom to take a quick shower. The weather was warm enough, so a grey dress and sneakers dressed her body that day. Anastasia always made sure to keep a change of clothes in that house as she crashed it from time to time. Her sister never closed the door on her.

Before leaving the bedroom, she looked at herself in the mirror. The color of her eyes varied from turquoise to aquamarine. They were big, enormous like a doll’s. Her skin was pale as china; she got it from her grandmother on her father’s side –a British gypsy witch. Her lips were small but plump. She decided on the spot not to wear makeup that day. She closed the door behind her and although she had to walk downstairs to the kitchen, a hunch told her to head up to the attic.

Just as her head predicted it, there was her sister in front of a big cauldron. Every witch had a specialty and Barb’s potions (as Anastasia affectionately called them) were the most effective of them all. Then she spotted another figure, her sister wasn't alone. A tall lady with light blonde hair, almost white was avidly talking with Barbara. 

Anastasia took a seat on a red couch that stood out from all the wood around her. The attic was filled with shelves containing strange objects: jars, potion ingredients, and books. A sole rounded window provided the entire room with light. It could not be seen from the outside architecture of the mansion, from the ocean’s shore –that window was hidden under a strong, protective spell. Witches’ dens were personal and only explicitly invited humans could enter them.

The place was decorated with old pictures and paintings showing witches of all times, from gypsies to those brave women of Salem. Witches were always feared because of the power they represented. While men were heads of families whose function was to sustain, hunt, rule, govern and women were displaced to less relTaront activities, witches rose up to do everything the male gender could and more, therefore, many lost their lives. They were never understood and much less respected. Nowadays they lived hidden. The fear was never gone but while living a concealed life they could be themselves and put their powers to practice, waiting for the day the world could finally see them without a dagger slashing their necks. 

The witches’ power was granted by nature. They had the ability to manipulate the Universe’s energies to achieve everything their hearts and minds, at unison, wished for. On the other hand, there were many other creatures that had stolen that power to use for their own benefit and own the world order. Many ruled nations and hurt thousands, they appeared in human form to the mortals’ eyes, but inside they were dark, shapeless, black-smoke-emitting masses with two red slits in the place of eyes. They fed on suffering and power kept them alive. They had no name, because by naming them they’d get the respect they did not deserve. Witches prevented them from taking over the world order, and therefore they dedicated their lives to hunting them and murdering them. When that happened, they sent their heads to the doorstep of the covens’ leaders as a warning that they were, bit by bit, achieving their goal.

That is why witches had to hide their power from humans. They didn’t know which of them could turn into one of those dark masses, except for Anastasia. She had been blessed with the maximum power of empathy. She could read people; know their deepest feelings by only looking into their eyes. When she did not feel an ounce of sadness or joy in a human, she knew she had to run.

Many had connected the power of witches to the devil, and while this is not exactly correct, many witches had chosen to serve evil with their powers. But there was no such malignant entity. Magic could do good and could also cause terrible suffering. Only those who could dominate both sides, light and darkness, could be leaders of the Coven. Many felt intimidated by handling dark arts, while others felt so attracted to them that darkness consumed them. Anastasia’s run with darkness had been scarce but satisfactory, so much that she became obsessed and Barbara had to intervene to regulate those practices.

“I have news,” said Barbara as soon as she felt the presence of her younger sister pointing to the lady at her side. 

"I'm so sorry your Saturday was ruined like that", the blond lady said taking Anastasia but her arms. "You were so brave".

“Yeah.it wasn't like I was having fun anyway so…" said Anastasia in a low voice, as she glimpsed her sister rolling her eyes. 

“They also attacked Mika at her house. They’re getting more aggressive and powerful.” Barbara was making a potion so her eyes were fixed on the cauldron.

“How did you survive?”, Anastasia looked to Mika. 

“I took some paralyzing potion. The best one, made by Barb of course. My heart stopped for a few seconds and they thought I was dead, so they went off for a bit and I ran to seek shelter. I imagine that if they returned, they wouldn’t find me.” Barbara was adding some bright purple dust to the cauldron.

“Maybe that’s why they came to my house. Maybe they thought Mika was hiding there.” Anastasia’s word caused her sister to look into her eyes for the first time that morning.

“Why the hell would Mika hide at your house?” asked the eldest sister. Anastasia shrugged.

Instead of answering Mika looked at Anastasia kindly in her eyes. She took the girls hands and inspection them cautiously. 

"I remember when you were born. Your midnight blue hair got all the hospital talking. We were so glad a witch was born. The first in a decade". The witches population had been shrinking thanks to the necessity of hiding their powers. Magic is like a muscle if you don't use it you'll lose it, as Barbara would love to say. Since the 80's born witches were a rare phenomenon, imagine a blue haired one.��

"Yeah, I would like to remember my birth", Anastasia said sarcastically. Mika always created a sense of comfort when she was around, truth was that Anastasia wasn't very close to the North America Coven Leader as she was called by fellow witches in the continent. Mika ruled with a strong but emphatic hand and she was loved by everyone. 

Mika was a role model but not to her. Magic wasn't something Anastasia focused a lot on. She actually kind of neglected it. Situation got easy out of hand in the past and she decided that magic wasn't going to define her. 

"You are going to be a great leader one day", Mika turned her back to Anastasia and started walking around the room. "But you need to accept who you are and study" She made a pause "A lot".

Anastasia looked at Barbara confused. Her sister nailed her eyesight on the cauldron to avoid the big turquoise eyes. 

"Yeah, I don't know about that. I can't even manage my own life, imagine being in charge of a whole damn coven. Never less one of the most important in the world!", she laughed but neither Mika nor Barbara raised even half smile. 

"She needs time", Barbara said to Mika. 

"Something we don't have", Mika answered. "Your sister told me you own a small apartment in London"

"I wouldn't call it small" Anastasia was interrupted by Mika. 

"I suggest you take some time off to enjoy that gorgeous British grey skies", Mika said.

"Pardon me?", Anastasia was understanding everything now but her brain was trying to block what was coming. 

"You need to leave", her sister said abruptly. "Even if you like it or not you are next in line to be the leader of this coven. And we need you safe, alive and wise. You are going to London and you're gonna learn as much as you can about what you are and your mission in this world".

"I'm almost 30, I have a job and a life here and frankly I never asked to be any of this", she just spit those words without second thoughts. The pain that Barb and Mika felt was instant. 

“I need you to take this seriously. I need you to take magic seriously for the first time in your life.” Barbara said firmly.

From the age of eight, Anastasia knew she was a witch. Her abilities began manifesting, but she never cared too much about them. She never wanted to train or learn. To her, it was something she had to keep at bay. It was just something she could do, not who she was. On the other hand, music was everything to her, so she sought to focus her energy on that.

“Barbara, for Hell’s sakes!” Anastasia laughed profusely. 

“As much as I wish I were lying, I’m not.” Barbara replied, upset by her sister’s reaction. “Anastasia, a power such as yours has not been seen for centuries.”

“But I don’t practice magic! Apart from a couple of spells to date guys in my teenage years and to do well in College, I haven’t done much more,” replied Anastasia.

“Because you have repressed your power. You never wanted to learn how to use it.”

“Yes, from the moment I began seeing people all around that weren’t really there, I didn’t want to keep up with it.”

“It’s your duty as a witch to educate yourself so that you can rule the Coven in the future.” Mika interveneed. 

“I’m at the highest peak of my career, I don’t have time for this.” Anastasia got up from the couch and headed to the door.

“Go ahead, act spoiled! It’s what you do best anyway! Just caring about yourself".

Barbara could sometimes be very hurtful. Anastasia stopped and wanted to talk back to her sister, but thought it through and kept going, out of the attic, the house and into her car. She drove back to Los Angeles, to her place.

On the way she did a couple of calls to Matt, her on and off boyfriend. But as natural he didn't answer. 

I do not want to rule the Coven, she kept telling herself over and over as she drove. She also though she didn’t really want to go back home, but as she got closer, a crowd of people gathering outside the Jensen’s porch called her attention. Anastasia pulled over by her own gate and curiosity drove her straight to the house next door. She made her way among the people and when she got to the front of her neighbors’ place, she spotted two police cars. The house perimeter was surrounded by yellow tape. Standing there was a blonde lady who kept staring at the main entrance. It was Cindy, the youngest in the family. She was about 21 years old. Anastasia always ran into her at LA events. Cindy was the typical party girl, and judging by her choice of outfit –mini dress and high-heeled shoes, she was just returning from one.

“Cindy!” Anastasia called her.

The blonde girl turned her head towards her. Her make-up was smudged all over her face; she had been crying. Cindy signaled Anastasia to come over and so she did, going under the yellow tape.

“What happened?” Anastasia inquired as she walked.

“My parents—they—they’re…” Cindy stretched her arms out to hug Anastasia. When they touched, an electric shock ran through the blue-haired girl. It was so strong that every nerve on her body hurt, her vision blurred and a scene came in front of her: the Jensen’s master bedroom. The father, Carl, lay on the floor. When she adjusted her sight she realized his neck was slashed from side to side. She kept looking all over her body but nothing prepared her for what she was about to see next: half of his body was missing, just like they had ripped it off him. All internal organs and guts were spread around him. She felt a sharp pain in her stomach. His lower belly and his leg were about 12 inches away. Wendy Jensen lay in bed in a similar situation: her left arm was under the bedside table and the lower half of her body was by the bed. As if all of this weren’t strange enough, there was not a single drop of blood in the scene.

Cuts weren’t clean; they looked more like rips caused by a beast. The organs looked clean. The couple looked like mannequins. Carl’s eyes were open and completely white. When she turned to Wendy, she realized the woman was missing both eyes.

The vision faded in a second as soon as Cindy let go of Anastasia. Fear took over her and she understood she hadn’t been inside the house. Instead, she had seen what Cindy herself had seen when she walked in that morning. The adrenaline rush was so strong she abruptly parted from Cindy and fell butt-first on her neighbors’ front lawn. Her expression was one of terror and Cindy’s was one of being stricken by the situation.

“Cindy, I—I am so—so sorry.” That was the only thing Anastasia managed to say before running back to her own place. On the way, she spotted the suspicious looks of a couple of policemen, but she kept on walking, trying as much as she could to ignore her surroundings.

Once home, Anastasia locked the front door and called Barbara immediately. A couple of hours later, the eldest sister was knocking on the door.

“I swear that had never happened to me before.” Anastasia was terrified. She was sitting on her blue futon, sipping on some tea Barbara had made her.

“As much as you try to repress your magic, your powers will manifest themselves one way or another. If you had learned to control them years ago, they wouldn’t come out as intensely now.” Barbara explained.

“I just touched her, but I could experience everything the poor Cindy went through when she found her parents torn to pieces. Terror, shock, uncertainty,” Anastasia explained. “It was horrible.”

“You’re empathic, that’s a normal ability of your power.” Barbara sat down next to her sister.

“Now, tell me, were they dismembered?”

Anastasia nodded.

“Not a drop of blood around?”

Anastasia shook her head no.

“The bodies were clean, just like the entire scene.” Anastasia put down the cup of tea on the coffee table. “Do you think the same creatures that tried to attack me did this?”

“To be honest, yes.” Barbara replied. Anastasia got up in a heartbeat.

“It was my fault, Barbara. It was my fault that they died. It’s my fault poor Cindy is now an orphan.” Anastasia paced around but a force out of her might have made her stop.

“It was not your fault.” Barbara moved her fingers to release Anastasia from the spell. “If you hadn’t ran away, I would be picking up your pieces now, and the Universe knows I wouldn’t do it all by myself. Those creatures were thirsty. Unlucky for them, Carl and Wendy were home.”

“They just came back from Mykonos,” Anastasia said as she sat back down.

“They should’ve stayed in Greece,” Barbara uttered sarcastically.  

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

This is how “Live Action”, the new Dead Curse record would look like if it was real. The letters have a holo effect. Don’t you guys love it?

[itsegerton]

Here we go

So here it is. I doubted myself A LOT on whether I should or shouldn't post this fanfic I'm currently writing, so I wanna share a few disclaimers with you all before I post the first chapter:

1. You probably are here looking for a lot of Taron presence but true is that Taron isn't the main character, this is Anastasia's story and Taron is just around.

2. I Have read a lot of witchcraft stuff and I know a little bit about it but as the genre says (fanfiction) this is A FICTION and probably a lot of withcraft representations aren't going to be accurate with real life practices, mainly because IT'S FICTION and it came out of my head and I actually wanted to be like this.

3. My schedules are CRAZY, and I have just write 4 chapters of this history so it is in process and I know for a fact that fanfiction can take a lot of time to make (I have made a few in the past) so be patient, I can't promise you a chapter a week but I'll try my best.

4. Love the feedback, even if it bad so don`t be afraid to leave it.

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Know more about Anastasia

So I’ve been thinking about doing something like this for a while. I think is a funny way to know a little bit more about Anastasia and since someone tagged me (Thank you @meet-me-at-the-corner46​) in one of this a couple of weeks ago I decided to do it today.

Also is a great way to wait for the new chapter that will be uploaded TOMORROW, because I’ve been busy and with SO MANY things in my head. Sorry for that!

The Last:

1. Drink: A glass of Rosé that I had today at lunch (It was just one I swear)

•2. Phone Call: Barbara.

•3. Text Message: Mandy (And she was across the room)

•4. Song you listened to: Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac.

•5. Time you cried: The last time I watched “Marley and me”, which was yesterday.

Have You:

•6. Dated someone: Wishing I haven’t ATM

•7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No regrets.

•8. Been cheated on: Surprisingly... yes!

•9. Lost someone special: Sometimes I feel like I have.

•10. Been Depressed: My daily fight.

•11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Haven’t since ‘06

List 3 favorite colors:

•12. Blue (Every tone and shadow)

•13. Mandy’s pink

•14. Black

In the last year:

•15. Made new friends: Yes! Love them!

•16. Fallen out of love: Can’t deny it.

•17. Laughed until you cried: All the time with Mandy.

•18. Found out someone was talking about you: Don’t think so.

•19. Met someone who changed you: Yes.

•21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friend list: Yes...

•22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. I don’t have anybody on my facebook that I don’t actually know.

•23. Do you have any pets: All my friend’s pets are my pets.

•24. Do you want to change your name: No, is beautiful.

•25. What did you do for your last birthday: I sang Fleetwood Mac song with Stevie Fucking Nicks!

•26. What time did you wake up: Around 8 in the morning, which is fucking early for me.

•27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Mmm... probably watching Netflix.

•28. Name something you can’t wait for: I can’t wait for my brother’s wedding.

•29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Around december, last year.

•30. What is the one thing you could change about your life: I could probably mature a little. I could change all the negativity on my mind, also.

•31. What are you listing to right now: Some weird punk Nick’s have sounding on his notebook.

• 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes. There are so many Toms.

•33. Something that gets on your nerves: indecisive people, unprofessional people.

•34. Most visited website: Netflix.

Lost questions. I just put in random info about me

•35. Mole/s: No.

•36. Mark/s: On my upper back.

•37. Childhood dream: Living in California (I made that true!)

•38. Hair color: Midnight Blue.

•39. Long or short hair: Long.

•40. Do you have a crush on someone: Of course!

•41. What do you like about yourself: How cool I am! Haha...

•42. Piercings: I use to have my belly pierced when I was 15, didn’t last 6 months.

•43. Blood type: B+

•44. Nicknames: An, Witch, whore according to social media trolls. I like it, tho!

•45. Relationship status: It’s fucking complicated.

•46. Zodiac: Aries.

•47. Favorite Tv show: Twin Peaks.

•48. Tattoos: Two, a heart and my band’s logo.

•49. Right or Left handed:  Right.

•52. Hair dyed in different colors: I have had my hair dyed in every color you could possibly imagine.

•53. Sport: I LOVE BASEBAL!!!!! Go Dodgers!

•54. Vacation: I need one.

•55. Pair of shoes: I got a whole room of shoes at my house. That’s the reason I don’t have my own family yet, the kids will have to sleep on the living room.

More general

•56. Eating: Literally everything. Not a fan os spicy food, tho.

•57. Drinking: Milk.

•58. I’m about to: Take a fucking plane.

•59. Waiting for: Record our new album.

•60. Want: A pizza wouldn’t be bad ATM.

•61. Get Married: Not my style

•62. Art or cooking: Art.

•63. Hugs or kisses: Hugs that end in kisses.

•64. Lips or eyes: Eyes, beacuse I’m obsessed with eyes.

•65. Shorter or taller: Taller.

•66. Older or Younger: OLDER!

•67. Nice arms or stomach: I don’t actually care.

•68. Sensitive or Loud: A little bit of both.

•69. Hook up or relationship: Depends.

•70. Troublemaker or Hesitant: A little bit of both.

Have you ever:

•71. Kissed a stranger: Probably.

•72. Drank hard liquor: Yes.

•73. Lost glasses or contacts: No. Don't use them.

•74. Turned someone down: Yes.

•75. Sex on the first date: Probably .

•76. Broken someone’s heart: Hope not.

•77. Had your heart broken: Yes. Multiple times.

•78. Been arrested: No.

•79. Cried when someone died: Yes.

•80. Fallen for a friend: Sadly, yes.

Do you believe in:

•81. Yourself: I try hard. •82. Miracles: Yes, but you have to work to make them happen. •83. Love at first sight: No. •84. Santa Claus: No. •85. Kiss on the first date: Why not? •86. Angels: I don't call them angels.

Other:

•87. Current best friends names: Mandy. •88. Eye color: Turquoise. •89. Favorite movie: The Shining, Donnie Darko

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Chapter 29: 90’s babe

I know I'm uploading super late today but the internet connection has been so bad the whole day. But here it is: chapter 29!

Thank you so much to everyone who write me here and on Instagram! It makes my heart so happy!

Remember to visit Anastasia’s IG profile:

Anastasia_Truman  ❤️️

Thanks to everyone who reads the fic, much love to you all! ♥

Read chapter 28

Before the show in San Diego, Anastasia discovered a sweet surprise at her dressing room in the Valley View Casino Center. It was filled with red roses, at least five huge bouquets. She was thrilled, although she didn’t like roses. She walked to the flowers and spotted a small card, she read it was actually Peyton who sent them to Mandy. Anastasia couldn’t help but smile like an idiot, she was feeling so happy by the relationship her friend had until she heard a voice behind her that brought her back to earth.

 -          Wow, what’s all this? – Josh asked entering the room.

-          Someone sent flowers – She said trying to ignore him and hiding part of the story.

-          But… roses? You hate roses – He said making Anastasia remember how well he knew her – You only like wild flowers, you always say that roses are basic and…

-          Yes, Josh, I know what I said before – She cut him off – But this is a nice thing.

-          Are you seeing someone? – He went straight forward.

-          Well… you could say so – She said lying and not knowing why.

-          Well, this guy doesn’t know you at all. He didn’t investigate you like I did.

-          What?! Investigate me? – She asked kind of annoyed.

-          Yeah, and one of the first things I learned about you is that you hate roses – Josh said smiling and Anastasia was confused by the direction of this conversation – By the way I didn’t have the chance to ask you, but what did you think about Dot Hacker’s new record?

-          I liked it so much I destroyed my turntable listening to it – She said even more confused by the question.

-          How come?

-          Because of the messages in the songs. I was angry – Maybe this was the moment for them to talk straight.

-          Sorry to hear that – Was all that Josh managed to say – Your turntable was a historic piece.

-          Josh, you wrote songs about feeling bad in our relationship, about how it wasn’t working, but you never talked to me about it! – There she was, giving her attention to the white elephant in the room.

-          I know and I can’t apologize to you enough – Josh said looking to the floor like he always did when he was ashamed. - But of all the people in the world, you know how great it is to put your feelings in a song. I wrote about loving you too.

-          I know and it made everything much more confusing – Anastasia said angry.

-          I’m sorry… - Josh couldn’t finish his sentence because Mandy entered the room screaming.

-          Oh my God! What is this? – She asked looking at the flowers and realizing Josh’s presence

-          It wasn’t me – He said looking at Mandy.

-          It’s obvious – She said taking the card from Anastasia’s hands. Now Josh would know the truth – They are from Peyton! – Mandy said overly excited – Oh my God! That little fucker! I love him so much! – She screamed.

 Anastasia saw Josh smiling wide, almost laughing, and then leaving. She felt so stupid.

 -          Josh thought they were for me – Anastasia told Mandy.

-          Sweetie! Oh God! Sorry! – Mandy said checking the roses – I would have followed the lead.

-          Don’t worry, that would have been childish – Anastasia said laughing.

 After the show that night everyone was ready for a long break. They’d be out for about three weeks. Anastasia was going to be busy for the next few days, her birthday was coming up and she was preparing a big party to turn 28. She followed Mandy’s advice and invited Alex but he respectfully declined saying that he needed to go back to Miami for work. She felt disappointed but totally understood; that’s a doctor’s lifestyle.

 One Friday in Los Angeles, with the party a week away, Nick invited Anastasia to a bar where he, Eric and some friends were going to see a local band play. Mandy joined her as Peyton was extremely busy with the start of the baseball season. It was a nice bar in Pasadena and the band played a soft rock kind of music, they were good and Anastasia realized they could be a great add to her label. The night was being fun and she was chatting with Eric’s friends including Clint and Jonathan. Hannah was there too and suddenly all the happiness went to hell when she saw Josh entering the place holding hands with Lauren; she was wearing the tightest pony tail in history and a pair of black leather pants with a pink crop top and, again, she thought how despair the two looked together. She felt Mandy’s arms around her as they walked away to avoid them.

 -          How can she be so tacky? – Mandy said while ordering two mojitos at the bar.

-          I don’t wanna make this sound like I’m jealous but they aren’t meant for each other! – Anastasia said.

-          I know and you are jealous anyway – Mandy said giving Anastasia her glass.

-          What?! – Anastasia asked.

-          It’s normal – Mandy said – I know you are over it, but it’s normal to have those feelings.

-          I’m not jealous! – Anastasia screamed as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around to see Josh and Lauren standing there and that made her furious.

-          Hi! – Josh said. How dare he flaunt Lauren in Anastasia’s face?

-          How are you? – Anastasia asked without any emotion.

-          We wanted to say hi! – Lauren said with her annoying voice – Because I’m a huge fan and I think I already told you that and I’m so happy you are friends with Josh – Anastasia could hear Mandy burst into laughter behind her.

-          Oh well… hi! – Anastasia said.

-          Do you want something to drink? – Mandy asked Lauren to be polite.

-          Oh no. I’m on an alcohol-free diet – Lauren asked as Josh turned to talk with one of his friends leaving them in this awkward conversation.

-          Is that the Pre-Euthanasia Diet? – Anastasia asked finding her sarcastic spot - ‘Cuz that would be the only way I’ll be alcohol free. If I was going to die.

-          Be real, not even in that moment would you knock off alcohol – Mandy said to Anastasia laughing.

-          Do you have any idea how many calories alcohol has? – Lauren asked really concerned, demonstrating she didn’t understand sarcasm.

-          Lauren, my friend, you are funny – Anastasia put a hand on Lauren’s right shoulder - and I’m pretty sure you don’t even know what euthanasia is. Live life! Have fun! Drink the alcohol! Practice euthanasia! – She and Mandy laughed hard and Lauren tried to follow them laughing too but not knowing what about.

-          Ok, we’ll see you around, girls – Josh said realizing the situation and taking Lauren far.

-          That was so epic! – A voice said behind Anastasia and she saw Kelly.

-          Your fucking hair! – Anastasia screamed touching Kelly’s hair which was lavender now.

-          Welcome to the cool hair color club! – Mandy said hugging Kelly.

-          I need one of those mojitos because I’m not on the Pre-Euthanasia Diet – The three friends burst into a hard and loud laugh.

 The party was almost set and Anastasia’s birthday – April 1st – was a Saturday which made everything more perfect. The theme of the night was the 90’s and everyone should dress according to that decade. Mark prepared a bunch of amazing 90’s mixes and Barbara took care of the food and the drinks. The party was going to be held at Anastasia’s home in Beverly Hills, she hasn’t thrown a party there since she was in college. She and Mandy were really excited for their outfits: plaid miniskirts, tight sweaters, thigh-high socks and heeled ankle boots, combat style, an outfit that would had made Cher Horowitz burn with envy.

When Anastasia got downstairs a nice group of friends and family were already there: her dad, Mark and Stephanie (who was looking amazing with a long spaghetti-strap dress with a daisy print), Barbara and even Chad, his wife and Anthony made it to the party. Flea couldn’t go but Clara could make it, she brought her boyfriend with her; many high school friends were there too and some from college and in a corner of her backyard she saw a lavender head and next to her she spotted Josh, joined by Nick, Eric, Hannah and thankfully no Lauren to be seen. That would have been a slap in her face (seeing Lauren there), but Josh didn’t play that low.

Everyone greeted Anastasia and praised her outfit choice, especially Josh who couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. That made her feel powerful but she didn’t let it go to her head. She was having too much fun singing TLC songs with Mandy and Kelly while Josh recorded them with his phone. Everyone was having a nice time. But suddenly, she found herself alone with Josh in a corner of the backyard. She felt nervous so she started to talk about anything.

 -          I wanted to wear a cute Stones’ t-shirt I own but then I remember I left it at your house. I never went to pick up my stuff from your place, sorry about that – Anastasia said.

-          Don’t worry, they’re still there for whenever you want to come by – Josh said – Do you have the stuff I left here?

-          No. I threw it away – Anastasia said and Josh looked surprised – Joking, Mandy put it in a box in the basement and that’s how I knew I had a basement!

-          What? – Josh laughed.

-          I always knew there was one extra door in this house – She was barely sober by that moment.

-          You’re crazy – Josh was laughing hard – Hey, come with me so I can give you your gifts.

 And just like that, without any warning, Josh took her right hand and walked her out of the house to his car: He opened the trunk and two big boxes laid there, wrapped in black wrapping paper with a silver moon print and silver bows on top.

 -          You need to open them now – Josh said – I want you to do it here, with no one around.

-          Really? – She looked at him.

 He nodded as she proceeded to open the boxes. She chose the small one first, even though it was still big, tearing the paper like a small kid on Christmas, it was a new turntable, all crystal clear, perfect size.

 -          It was my fault you destroyed yours, so… - Josh said scratching his head with his free hand (he had his drink in the other) – It’s the same I have at home, it sounds like heaven.

 She smiled and looked at the other box, it was larger and she destroyed the paper with little patience. It was a guitar case. Josh helped put it near her on the trunk so she could open it. It was dark outside but she could see that the case was made in dark blue synthetic leather and had a pattern of half-moons all over.

 -          I know you like moons – He said smiling.

 Anastasia’s chin went straight to the floor when she opened the case. It was a custom made Fender Stratocaster guitar, with a mirror finish and a bird and a flower print. The scratch plate was made in mother-of-pearl. It was the most beautiful guitar she had ever seen.

 -          Look at this – Josh said pointing at the head were her name was engraved in gold.

-          Josh, this is beautiful! – She picked the guitar, the strap had moons all over too – I have no words.

-          Just say thanks and let’s go back to the party – Josh took the guitar and placed it on the case, but Anastasia couldn’t take it anymore and hugged him. She hugged him so tightly while tears started to run from her eyes – Don’t cry!

-          It’s just that this is so beautiful! – She said – When did you have it made?

-          Around October – He answered.

-          Is this because I gave you a custom made guitar too?

-          No! Not at all. I just thought that it was going to be something you would appreciate. I wanted it to be ready for Christmas, but the team couldn’t do it so I saved it for your birthday.

-          This is so special! – She was feeling all kinds of things inside her brain by that moment and mixed with alcohol it made more tears run down her face.

-          You are special – He said and took her by her chin to wipe her tears away.

 They locked eyes and stared at each other for what it seemed an eternity. Anastasia wanted to kiss Josh but she knew it wasn’t the most intelligent thing to do. However, he surprised her coming closer and joining his lips with her. She missed him, she missed that. Josh gave her the most sweet, caring kiss she had had in a long time. Not even when they were a couple did he kiss her that way. It was slow but full of passion. Josh broke away and ran his thumb over Anastasia’s lips, looking into her eyes with desire.

 -          I think we should go back inside – He was the first to talk, breaking the spell.

-          Yes – She agreed, breathing heavily. She attempted to grab her gifts but Josh stopped her.

-          Don’t worry, I’ll carry them inside before I leave, later.

Anastasia smiled and walked back to the house without even noticing if Josh was following her. She was shocked, smiling like she hadn’t smiled in weeks. She decided to not say anything to anyone, to keep the surprise for later but she was the one about to be surprised again that night.

Later, when most of the guest had already left, she was inside the living room when her father approached her.

 -          Come with me – An’s dad said – I have a surprise for you.

 He walked with her to the garden where she saw Mark, Stephanie, Nick, Eric, Hannah, Kelly, Josh, Barbara, Anthony, Mandy, Peyton, Clara and her boyfriend, Chad and his wife and a blond lady in the middle of them. Anastasia recognized her and stood still abruptly. She couldn’t believe it, it was Stevie Nicks, wearing the most gorgeous blue shawl she had ever seen, with fringes all over. Anastasia looked at his father who laughed because she must have the most stupid look on her face by now. Stevie walked towards her and gave the birthday girl a warm hug; it was just how she imagined it would be. Anastasia wasn’t a girl with idols and she wasn’t a fan of anything, but Stevie Nicks was in a whole other level. She touched Stevie’s face, then regretted it and said sorry, but the “White Witch,” as some called Nicks, just laughed.

 -          Mister Nick here told me it was your birthday – Stevie said – And I wanted to come and say hi since I heard you are a big fan.

-          The biggest! – She said without thinking about it and everyone laughed. Anastasia could see Mandy was crying and smiling.

-          I must admit that I’m your fan too – Stevie said – I love your music, it’s so pure and the way you sing it is magical.

-          I can’t believe you are saying this – Anastasia said – Have you listened to us?

-          All your records – Stevie answered smiling.

-          Shut up! – Anastasia smiled wider.

-          I think we should go inside and play some music – Anastasia’s dad said – Would you like that? – She didn’t answer; instead she jumped into his arms giving him a big hug.

 Once everyone found a place in the living room, Nick handle a guitar to Stevie and Anastasia sat next to her in the big central couch. Stevie started to play the first notes of “Landslide” and the midnight-blue-haired girl looked at Josh instantly, he smiled tenderly at her. Both singers recited every word on that song. After that “Dreams” followed, then it was the turn for “Sara,” in “Gypsy” Stevie gave the guitar to An, she played and they finished with everyone singing along to “The Chain.”

That was the best birthday Anastasia could have had, without a doubt. She went to sleep that night with the biggest smile on her face and next morning when she walked downstairs and saw Josh’s gifts near her kitchen that smile became wider.

But, above all, she wasn’t going to get over that fact that Stevie “Dame” Nicks had been at her place the night before to serenade her on her birthday. That was the best gift of all without a doubt.

Read chapter 30

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Chapter 26: Seeing your face every day (Josh POV)

Some of you requested it and I deliver. I must say it was super hard for me to write the Josh’s point of view of this whole story because Anastasia is my baby and I only care for her. Haha

I hope you all like it and don’t forget to leave the feedback!

Thanks to everyone who reads the fic, much love to you all! ♥

Remember to visit Anastasia’s IG profile:

Anastasia_Truman  ❤️️

Read chapter 25

“Hey, I hope you are fine. I know I owe you some explanations about New York and these past months in general and I hope we can get the chance to talk now that we are going back on tour and I get to see your face again everyday”.

Josh texted Anastasia that Monday, the last day of February, like it was an impulse he couldn’t control. Her image had not left his mind since that time he shattered her heart on the first day of the year, what a way to destroy somebody’s year. He wasn’t proud of it, his heart was broken too, he had loved that blue-haired girl for so long only to realize he wasn’t worthy of her. After seeing her again in New York, his world was upside down.

He met Lauren when he was helping his friend who was producing her first studio album. She had all this confidence and sensuality that it was impossible not to look at her. Her looks compensated for her lack of talent; she is young and vibrant and it makes him feel young too. In a way he was still young, he kept doing the same dumb shit he did back in the day, like letting people he cared about down. Lauren was so different from Anastasia. He put his phone down on the nightstand and rolled over to face Lauren, who was peacefully sleeping next to him in that hotel room in New York.

Even after looking at Lauren, he couldn’t keep Anastasia away from his thoughts. He wondered what she was doing in Los Angeles. She was probably with Mandy or making music. That was the most remarkable difference between her and Lauren: Anastasia could make great songs as fast as a finger snap, she was loaded with talent and that was something that always drove Josh crazy. In a way, he always felt jealous of what she had in Dead Curse, her own band, her own very successful band.

He felt like a coward, but he wasn’t what Anastasia was expecting him to be so it was better to end it now than later and cause less damage. He and Lauren had sex the first day they met, that was something he wasn’t proud of but he was feeling so low not being up to An’s level. Lauren was under that line, besides, it was Lauren who threw herself at him. Yes, sex was great. Her youth made her capable to do amazing things, but he had that with Anastasia too, that and much more.

He spent an hour laying there, in bed, looking at the ceiling and didn’t get a reply from Anastasia.

 -          Good morning, bae – He hated being called that.

-          Hi – Josh said smiling, pretending he just woke up.

-          Last night was amazing – Lauren said hugging him – I say let’s do it again – She started to kiss his neck – Like right now.

-          I’m not feeling too well – Josh answered.

-          Is there something wrong? – Lauren asked while still kissing him, now on his chest.

-          No, but I’m not in the mood now, Lauren – He said, trying to make her stop.

-          But bae! – She went back to kissing his neck.

-          Lauren, I said no! – He said getting up from bed and walking to the bathroom.

He turned on the shower and just stood there, letting the water run down his body, hoping it washed away Anastasia from his memory but it wasn’t working. “God, she is so beautiful!” He wished she was there right now; even if to hit him like she did in the elevator almost a week ago. He definitely deserved those blows for being a total asshole, he thought. Now he had to live with his decision and Lauren was waiting outside to have another fun day around New York when all he wanted to do was to stay in bed not doing anything. He loved not doing anything with Anastasia. Another big difference between those two: Lauren needed constant activity, while Anastasia had a special love for days when she could do nothing and just sleep next to him or lay down and watch some Netflix with him. The girl worked so hard that off days were so precious to her.

He got dressed in his many layers (it was still very cold in New York), while Lauren chose to wear a tank top under a light sweater and the tightest skinny jeans in history. She looked rather hot, but she always did. That was the image she wanted to sell.

-          It is really cold outside – Josh said to her.

-          I’m from Texas, baby, we have hot blood – She answered lowing the cleavage of her tank top. At that moment, he missed Anastasia’s class to get dressed – You know there is this bar at the top of the Renaissance with an amazing view of Times Square that I really want to try tonight.

-          I was thinking about staying in and maybe watching a movie or something – Josh said walking to the elevator.

-          Really? How old are we? Forty? – Lauren said – Well, you kind of are – She laughed, Josh didn’t – Come on, Josh! In a few days you’ll be back to touring and I will have to stay here working on the record and I don’t know when I’m going to see you again. If you are nice – She put her arms around his neck – maybe you’ll get a treat tonight – She whispered.

-          We’ll see how tired we are tonight – Josh said. He could control Lauren so he was sure they weren’t going anywhere that night.

-          You know I’m never tired! – She said with her high pitch voice tone that sometimes bothered him so damn much.

 It was a museum kind of day and they visited the MoMa and the Met (classic tourist sightings) just like he did with Anastasia when they were in Europe last year. The big difference was that Anastasia did enjoy museums and art and Lauren had a blank stare and looked so bored, she didn’t quite seem to understand some of the pieces, she just talked about fancy restaurants and bars she wanted to go the whole time. Then they went to have lunch to a salad place because Lauren didn’t eat much (another reason to miss the midnight blue-haired girl), and they spent the rest of the afternoon shopping. Well Lauren did, he just felt miserable waiting for her to try all those clothes he was going to pay for. But he liked it, he was taking care of her, giving her what she wanted and that made him feel good.

 -          You know, I think I saw a jacket like this at your place once – Lauren was trying on a Gucci green bomber jacket.

-          Yes, it’s Anastasia’s – Josh remembered that An never went to pick up her stuff from his place, he didn’t want her to, though.

-          Truman? – Lauren asked with a confused expression.

-          Yes – Now he had to lie again because he never told Lauren that he and Anastasia had been in a relationship – She is always wandering around and she leaves things everywhere. I’m pretty sure she left it there and forgot about it.

-          Oh, I see – Lauren said – You two are good friends, right? Because to leave her jacket at your place and not worrying about getting it back it means you two must be very good friends.

-          Mm… yeah, I think – He lied again – What were you doing snooping through my things in my house anyway?

-          I wasn’t snooping, I just saw it – Lauren said going back into the fitting room – And I don’t see any problem with it since I’m your girlfriend – Josh opened his eyes big,

-          Woah, woah! Hold on there, little lady! – He said shocked – We never talked about that.

-          But I thought I was, since we’ve been kind of living together and all.

-          Yes, because I’m spending this time off in New York and because the label paid for an apartment you don’t want to use.

-          It’s in a horrible location!

-          I’m leaving in a couple of days and you are going to live there – He said – Truth is, Lauren, I don’t like to put on labels – He lied once more.

 Lauren took his answer really well; he felt she actually didn’t even care as long as he paid for all the clothes. He won that night and they didn’t go to that fancy bar, instead they stayed in the hotel room, he ate a pizza, she had a salad. “If Anastasia could watch her she would be laughing right now,” he thought. After watching a boring movie with Channing Tatum on Netflix (Lauren’s pick), they had sex until he fell asleep.

 He really wanted to go to Los Angeles, he was so bored, so he made up a stupid excuse to Lauren and brought forward his flight back home. How could somebody make New York boring to him? A city he loved so much. He missed Anastasia again and remembered the last time they were there together last year, and the long, crazy road trip to Chicago. He wasn’t sure on how to ask her, since he thought she liked to travel comfy in first class flights although she hated flying, but she was so excited to do it and he got a glimpse of her musical taste which was so wide, from Britney to Metallica. She was crazy and he missed her. There was one consistent taste in her: her love for Fleetwood Mac, so in her honor he decided to listen to them on the flight to LA and had a crazy idea.

Josh checked his phone for the tenth time that day and yet no message from Anastasia. He knew he did the same days ago, when she congratulated him for the album but he knew she was going to listen to it and was so scared to say anything to her, cowardice ruled his life again. He understood why she didn’t reply to his text but it made him so angry. Instead, Lauren didn’t stop messaging him saying things like “I miss you”, “I hope I get the chance to see you soon” and more inappropriate things, but he liked that about her. He didn’t love Lauren, he was sure about that, but he felt undeniably attracted to her and the way she made him feel. Lauren made him feel so good about himself, out of the fact that he was giving her everything she ever wanted. He couldn’t do that with Anastasia, she already had seen the world and she was very capable to get everything she could ever want by herself. Even his dad said it once: Anastasia didn’t need him. However, Lauren did. He took her to fancy restaurants and bought her amazing things, and that made him feel so almighty.

He landed at LAX, took an Uber to his house in El Sereno and suddenly felt so alone. He hadn’t been on his own since he broke up with Anastasia, he missed her again and that made him look at his phone screen only to see that she hadn’t replied to his text, so he decided to go for the usual ex-boyfriend move: to check her Instagram profile. Josh sometimes used the Dot Hacker Instagram page. He followed most of his friends from that profile and the rest of the band’s friends. He also followed Anastasia’s profile from it. He saw that she had posted some pictures from New York with her brother, friends, bandmates and his sister. They had so much fun in the city while he had to deal with Lauren and his parents. Anastasia hadn’t posted much since that New Years’ Eve party at Eric’s house, an evening Josh decided to spend with Lauren when he should have been with An. She called him so many times that night, he felt ashamed. Checking further, he noticed she hadn’t deleted the pictures she took of him: she had some of him playing onstage and others backstage, another one of him hugging her that Mandy took when they were in Berlin, another one on the road trip to Chicago; him playing the piano and some more on private planes. He had always been OK with it. Anastasia’s Instagram account was private and all the people that she allowed to follow her were people she knew well. She was very private after all, and Josh didn’t realize that before. The fact that she hadn’t deleted him from her social media must mean something beyond and Josh held on tight to that thought.

 He kept checking her pictures, seeing how beautiful and joyous she looked in every single one of them. Suddenly he thought about calling her but deep inside he knew she wouldn’t answer, so he decided to call his sister instead. She was younger than him but much wiser.  

 -          Hi - She picked up her phone with a low voice.

-          I’m already in LA, can we catch up? - He asked her.

-          Wow, what happened? I didn't expect you here until next week! - Kelly said with evident surprise in her voice.

-          Nothing happened, why would it? I just wanted to come back early to have some rest before the tour starts again - Josh said.

-          Sure? I know you.

-          Damn, Kelly, can you come or not? - Josh said frustrated; there was something about siblings that couldn’t hide anything from each other.

-          Well, not right now, I'm at Anastasia's place and we are about to have some girl time and drink mimosas.

-          Wow I didn't know you were that close to her.

-          I know what happened between you two but she is so nice, Josh, and I don't have a lot of girlfriends and sometimes I need them. I really like her. Does it bother you?

-          No, it’s OK - He said, not really convinced of his words but he couldn’t keep Kelly from having any friends she wanted even if it was Anastasia - Talk to you later, then.

-          Sure, bye!

She hung up before he could say goodbye. He wasn't sure how to feel about this, about Kelly being friends with his ex-girlfriend, an ex-girlfriend he couldn’t get out of his head yet. He started to wander around his house. He walked to the living room, his kitchen, his backyard… Every place had a memory attached to Anastasia. He swore he could still smell her essence. He saw her lying in his couch, sitting at the backyard, cooking something in his kitchen, even though cooking wasn’t her forte.

He needed to get out of there so he called Eric, the only one who knew everything and had a glimpse at Anastasia's version too.

-          Dude! - Josh said when Eric picked up his phone.

-          What’s up? Are you back in LA? - Eric asked.

-          How do you know? - Josh asked back.

-          I sensed it! - Josh laughed.

-          Are you busy right now?

-          Not at all, Hannah is at Anastasia's house having a girl's afternoon, whatever that is.

-          Guess she's gonna be part of my friend's group, huh?

-          Anastasia was part of your friend's group way before you two were together - Eric laughed.

-          Do you want to go to the bar down the street? - Josh asked - The usual place? - The two lived near each other and that sport bar had became an usual place for them to have good nights and they could come back drunk after walking home.

-          See you there in 30! - Eric said and hung up.

                                                         ...

-          Josh! You fucked it up big time! - Eric said while drinking a pint of Irish beer.

-          I know, believe me, I know - Josh said drinking his beer.

-          The bad thing is that once Anastasia is over you, it’s over! - Eric said, making emphasis in the last "over" - There's no turning back at that point.

-          I made my decision and I have to live with it - Josh said, showing the sadness in his eyes.

 Eric just confirmed what Josh was already thinking, if Anastasia forgot about him it was over. He knew her, he knew so well, after New York she probably wasn’t thinking about him anymore. She was so angry in that elevator and at the Madison Square Garden, and even in that state she gave such amazing performances, he watched them all partly because he wanted to see her and the way she moved on stage, and partly because Lauren was a big fan… How ironic!

He got really drunk that night, it was a good way to forget everything. Reality hit him next morning and it was hard for him to even open his eyes so he decided to sleep in the whole day and the next one too. Then he woke up feeling disoriented. He walked to his kitchen to have a bite of something, anything; he realized that his fridge was empty and then thought of calling Anastasia to go and grab some food, and he stopped sharp, his mind had to get rid of all the things he used to do with her. He felt so stupid. He wanted to be with her but couldn’t, he was with Lauren now and his brain needed to stick to that.

 Days passed by and now it was time to go back to touring. Josh was excited; he’d be getting to see Anastasia every day again, but he was scared because she never answered his text and the two hadn’t spoken since New York, she probably hated him and he knew it was his fault.

As a magical move from the Universe, the first person he ran into when he arrived to the Staples Center that morning was Anastasia. She was wearing a t-shirt with the phrase “There is a light that never goes out”, she even liked The Smiths, how more perfect could she be? He admitted to himself that it was a much better t-shirt that the one she wore in New York with the words “Players only love you when they’re playing”. He knew how much she liked Fleetwood but he was also aware that it was a message for him. He got really angry when he saw her wearing it; he wasn’t a player, he didn’t play with her! He broke up with her because he didn’t want to hurt her.

Anastasia walked by without even looking at him once. He was devastated, so he ran to his dressing room to set everything to get ready for that night. He was happy to play at the Staples, though. Playing in Los Angeles had always felt special to him no matter if it was for twenty people or twenty thousand, LA was home and he embraced it, besides, some friends and family were going to join him there. After a couple of hours at the dressing room he decided to take a walk around the venue, he liked to do that, it helped him to start catching the energy of the place; he gave a few steps and ran into another person he actually didn’t want to face: Mark, Anastasia’s brother.

He met Mark years ago at a New York bar when he was touring with Gnarls Barkley, Mark was a DJ at the place and Josh was there with Eric and Clint having some drinks. Josh was amazed by the mix of rhythms and sounds Mark was throwing that night so they started to talk and a great friendship developed when they went back to Los Angeles. Funny how life joined them again.

 -          Man! – Mark was the first to talk.

-          Hey! – Was all Josh could say.

-          How’s everything? – Mark asked.

-          Well… you know. Trying to carry on – It was an awkward way to reply to that, and Josh knew it.

-          I can imagine – Mark said realizing it was an uncomfortable situation.

-          I’m a little bit nervous about tonight, to be honest – Josh tried to carry the conversation.

-          You? Nervous? Yeah, right. You have played so many shows, Klinghoffer!

-          Yeah, but, you know. It’s home.

-          Are you sure you aren’t nervous by a certain Truman?

 “Does everybody have to mention her?” Josh asked himself.

 -          Yeah, about that…

-          Don’t worry, Josh. It’s not me you have to give explanations to – Mark said and Josh was shocked by his laid back reaction – You’re still my friend – It was nice to hear that.

-          Is she alright with that? – He had to ask.

-          Anastasia is a very mature woman – Mark laughed – She knows you are on her circle and yes, she is OK with it.

-          Everything feels weird right now – Josh said looking at the floor.

-          I can imagine – Mark said – You look confused and I understand that. I was confused once about Stephanie and look at me now, I’m going to ask her to marry me.

-          What?! – Josh said shocked and couldn’t hide the smile.

-          You are the first to know, actually. Don’t tell my sister, that would be something she won’t forgive me for.

-          Man, I’m so happy! – Josh hugged Mark – And don’t worry, I won’t tell her. We aren’t communicating much right now.

 Josh was happy for Mark, indeed, but it was a low blow. A good percentage of his friends were married by then or had babies and he felt left behind. He wanted that, a family he could go back to after the touring madness but now, more than ever, he was far from that. Anastasia was very clear she didn’t want children anytime soon and that was another thing that made him walk away from her. On the other hand, Lauren wasn’t going to give him a child soon neither, she was so, so, so young and starting her career. But, to be honest, he didn’t want Lauren to be the mother of his kids; she could barely take care of herself. That place belonged and still belongs to Anastasia in his heart, until his mind decided it was time to move on or until he met someone else, which was going to be really hard since he kept comparing every woman to her.

Josh saw Anastasia again, and this time she saw him too, so he walked up to her without even thinking about it. It was like if his legs knew exactly where to go. She was alone, wandering around the venue too because she also like to catch the vibe of the place before a show, they were so alike. She got nervous, he could tell, he knew her so well; he was nervous too, more than he would like to admit; it was like every time he ran into her in the past, at a party or event, she always made him feel nervous but in the good sense.

 -          Hi! – She said without hesitating.

-          How are you? – Josh asked smiling.

-          I’m a wreck right now, I never thought I would sing in a sold out Staples Center – She said scratching her left arm with her right hand and he noticed something different.

-          Look at that! – He said – New tattoos! – They made her look even better.

-          Oh, yeah – She showed them to him. He first saw the two circles that belonged to the Dead Curse logo, and then she showed him the little heart on her ring finger – This is for Mandy – She clarified before he could even ask.

-          They are amazing! – Josh couldn’t stop smiling, looking like a maniac – And the heart is extremely cute.

-          Mandy got one too, but her heart is blue – She was hardly looking at him.

-          You two are crazy! I like your t-shirt too! – He was running out of conversation topics but he didn’t want to let her go.

-          Oh, thanks – She said looking at the t-shirt and then at him. He could see her eyes and the world stopped spinning for those seconds: How much he loved those giant turquoise eyes. He loved to get lost in them just like he was now… But she took him out of his reverie with only a few words.

-          I’ve got to go – She said and she turned and left him there standing, alone again.

 Josh couldn’t speak to An again neither that day nor the next. But he could watch her splashing sensuality and elegance on stage, breaking the silence with her melodious and powerful voice. She was wearing a long purple Lakers t-shirt with embroidered fishnet stockings and some black vans. Her stage outfit choices were always diverse and you never knew what she was going to wear but she always managed to look amazing on them. The second night she chose a black light short dress with dark blue thigh-high boots, seeing her in those boots always drove him crazy and that night wasn’t the exception. She even played guitar in some songs and then he remembered, Anastasia’s birthday gift, it was something he sent to be custom made for her last December and now he didn’t know what to do with it.

Read chapter 27

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Chapter 25: #ThePinkAndBlueDay

Hello everyone! I want to say that today’s chapter is on of my all time favorite! I love it, is different but is so cool! I want to read what you think about it so leave feedback!

BTW Next week is the turn of the Josh POV chapter so I hope you all are as excited as I am!

Thanks to everyone who reads the fic, much love to you all! ♥ 

Remember to visit Anastasia’s IG profile:

Anastasia_Truman  ❤️️

Read chapter 24

Those days in Los Angeles were weird for Anastasia. She didn’t feel comfortable with herself, she couldn’t stop comparing to Josh’s new girl, who was younger and obviously more vibrant than her. She locked herself in her house for a couple of days, alone. She did it as an exercise to find herself again, to learn and love herself again. She took long baths, cooked nice food, watched Netflix, wrote songs, recorded some of them and even swam in her heated pool.

She was starting to enjoy being alone. The past months she spent all of her nights with either Josh or Mandy. This time, she was all by herself and by the third day she was liking it. That didn’t mean she was over the situation, the image of Josh and Lauren didn’t leave her head for a second. Anastasia kept feeling empty, sad and hopeless, the natural stages of a breakup, a breakup that happened almost two months ago and that she was still suffering from. When she thought she was over it she found out that Josh had cheated on her and she believed things couldn’t get worse, but she didn’t want to say it because things could always get worse.

One Thursday morning, the blue-haired girl received a call from Eric, saying that in the afternoon they would have an appointment to get matching tattoos with the band logo. It was something they’d been planning for a while, it had been Mandy’s idea and finally Eric made the appointment. The band’s logo was Nick’s creation, Anastasia has always been obsessed with the moon as it involved an important part of her life and beliefs. One night at Nick and Mandy’s childhood house, looking at a sky dressed with plenty stars and a full moon in all its glory, the blonde guy came up with the idea of two circles forming a full and crescent moon, representing ups and downs of the career they chose to have. It was an instant yes for the rest of the band members and now they were on the way to have it forever on their skin.

It was the first tattoo for Eric and Anastasia; the siblings were much familiarized with ink. Mandy already had seven small tattoos and Nick had four large marks on his right arm and on his back. Anastasia was excited and nervous, which was normal, Eric had a little more confidence. Anastasia decided to make her double moon in dark blue with four vertical dots in the lower part representing the four members of Dead Curse; she chose to have it on her right forearm, in the middle of it. Mandy had it on her left ribs and the design was the logo in light blue with a watercolor style background simulating the night sky, remembering the day the sign was created. Nick chose the circles in black on his right shoulder with four stars also in black, and the spot chosen by Eric was under his left elbow, just the circles in dark blue because he like it how it looked on Anastasia’s skin.

That was a great afternoon, the four Dead Curse members were already very close but to share that experience created a new bond between them.

-          How have you been feeling? – Eric asked Anastasia while giving her a ride back home, just the two of them.

-          I don’t know, I fear this is a never ending thing – Anastasia said.

-          With Josh? – Eric asked again.

-          I don’t know what’s next and at the same time I’m afraid there’ll be nothing more – She said looking out the window – Like he’s going on with his life and I’m stuck in this hole waiting for… I don’t know what I’m waiting for to be honest.

-          You hope to be back with him – Eric said as if he were reading Anastasia’s mind. She looked at him.

-          That’s not gonna happen – Anastasia said – I don’t want it to happen. I don’t know if I can forgive him. How can I trust him again?

-          Time heals – Eric said – And I recognize real love when I see it, I have it with Hannah and I know you had it with Josh.

-          You said it: had it.

-          You don’t love him anymore? – Eric said and laughed – Bullshit – He parked his car in front of Anastasia’s house – Do you want to know the reason he broke up with you?

-          He found a better girl.

-          No. I had a conversation with him last night, I’m gonna email it to you – He said taking his phone. Anastasia’s phone beeped letting her know she had new mail – Read it.

-          Thanks for the ride, it was a great day – She said, shut the car door and didn’t look back.

Maybe Eric was right. No, Eric was definitely right. She still loved Josh and she didn’t want to because it was very obvious that he didn’t love her back. He loved a younger, fitter, blonder girl and that’s the scene she tried to tattoo on her mind, she wanted it to be etched in her head like the mark that had been made on her arm that afternoon: forever, so to have a reason to lose the love she had for Josh.

She looked at her phone and saw the message with the conversation Eric sent to her. She was tempted to open it but after thinking about it she let her phone down. She just wanted to forget Josh and maybe that email wouldn’t help. She walked up the stairs to do the tattoo cleaning proceeding the tattoo artist instructed her to do. She took a bath, laid down in her bed, and turned on the TV, on a channel that just showed old movies. Breakfast at Tiffany’s appeared on the screen, she stayed there watching her favorite movie about a high level prostitute, because that’s what Audrey Hepburn character was, read between the lines. After the movie she felt asleep.

Next day she woke up late, her phone alarm didn’t go off and then she remembered she left her phone downstairs the night before. She brushed her teeth thinking about that damn email Eric sent her yesterday.  She still wasn’t sure about reading it, it could change everything… or it could change absolutely nothing. She decided to have breakfast first, a nice avocado toast, well, she went for two avocado toasts, orange juice and a banana; she felt so healthy it was weird. She did the dishes and then she noticed the phone on her kitchen island, she took it impulsively, moved her fingertip to the mail app and opened it, and at that moment, at that precise moment, the screen turned black and a call went through. It was Mandy. Anastasia, frustrated, picked it up.

-          What are you doing? – Mandy asked with her sweet voice.

-          I just had breakfast and you? – Anastasia asked back.

-          Not much – Her friend replied – Do you want to spend the day at Venice with me?

-          Even if I want to say no, I can’t – Anastasia replied with a laugh.

-          You can but I wouldn’t accept it – Mandy said – I’ll pick you up in half hour, is that alright?

-          Sure!

 The phone went back to the original position and Anastasia ran upstairs to get a shower and dress up forgetting about the email.

 Venice was a place where the two friends always found peace. That crazy place filled with unique people, the shore and all the activities around made them feel like it was home. Venice was the place they went when they sneaked out of class back in the day; if they didn’t have plans on a Saturday they always visited Venice Beach.

 Mandy always had this dream of living in a colorful house in front of the Venice canals, with flowers in every window and a small boat on the canal in front of her porch. 

 The girls were thrift shopping on the main street in Venice near Pacific Ave, thrifting was a hobby they both had, finding amazing pieces with history always filled Anastasia with joy; she was a real fashion lover.

 -          Look at this jacket! – Anastasia said to Mandy showing her a biker jacket in electric metallic blue.

-          I love it – Mandy said going through her own rack of clothes – Oh my God! Look! – Mandy opened her eyes big; she found the same jacket in metallic pink.

-          It’s like heaven sent – Anastasia said and both laughed.

-          We should stop wearing clothes the same color of our hair, though – Mandy said.

-          Says who? – Anastasia asked looking at a pile of t-shirts.

-          Yeah… That’s not going to happen – Mandy said.

 After buying five pairs of pants, four skirts, the two jackets and almost ten t-shirts between the two, the friends walked to a sunglasses vendor spot on the boardwalk.

 -          Look, nineties babe – Anastasia said showing Mandy a pair of round sunglasses with a white frame.

-          Every damn shape of sunglasses looks good on your face. How is that possible? – Mandy said.

-          It is what it is – Anastasia said shrugging and trying on a wood frame this time.

-          Do you think that we’re childish? – Mandy suddenly dropped while trying on a heart-shaped frame in pastel pink.

-          No! – Anastasia answered – Why do you ask?

-          I had a fight with Peyton this morning – Anastasia understood why Mandy wanted to go to Venice – And he told me that I needed to grow up and stop wearing “stupid pink hair” – She said making quotation marks with her fingers.

-          I think Peyton is stupid – Anastasia was also wearing heart-shaped sunglasses in blue – Does Peyton think it’s stupid to match your clothes with your hair too? – Anastasia asked remembering the comment Mandy made at the thrift shop earlier.

-          Yes, he said that too – Mandy said still wearing the pink glasses.

-          Mandy! You don’t have to change because a man says so. Peyton felt in love with who you are, no matter if your hair is blonde, like when you met him, or pink – Anastasia said.

-          I know…

-          Why was the fight for?

-          I don’t really remember, something really stupid like leaving a glass were he doesn’t like – Mandy said – Every start of a season is the same. He becomes this anxious monster and everything bothers him.

-          It’s normal. He is nervous.

-          Yes, but he doesn’t need to take it on me.

-          I know, what an asshole – Anastasia saw her friend smile – I say you are going to buy those pink heart sunglasses and the ones with the blue crystal, and I’m going to get these ones in blue – She referred to the also heart-shaped glasses – and the ones with the white frame. But you have to wear the pink ones right now and I’ll be wearing the blue heart-shaped sunglasses.

-          We should wear our pink and blue jackets too! – Mandy said smiling.

 And so they did. The two girls looked like cartoon characters with jackets and sunglasses matching their hair but they were in Venice Beach so they blended right with the rest of the people there.

 -          Did you like your tattoo? – Mandy asked Anastasia walking on the boardwalk again.

-          I love it. It wasn’t half bad as I thought it would be – Anastasia answered.

-          See? I told ya – Mandy said – You know what I’m thinking? We have been friends for so long and have shared so many things, we shared high school, we share our career, we tried to share a house once, didn’t work out as we thought, but anyway. You’ve been a huge part of my life and have helped me during so many times of awe and suffering, you are my rock and I know I’m all of that to you too.

-          Oh God! Are you going to propose to me?

-          Anastasia Truman – Both girls stopped walking – Would you like to make me the happiest girl in the world and share a friendship tattoo with me so you can take me with you to eternity? – Anastasia covered her face with her hands and faked a huge smile.

-          YES! – She screamed – Aren’t you going to bend on one knee?

-          No, that would be too much.

-          That’s probably the only half proposition I will have in my life.

-          Let’s find a tattoo shop.

-          Oh! Are we gonna do it right now?

-          Yes! – Mandy laughed – There are many shops here, but I know one! Nick has a friend there.

 The two girls walked a little bit more until they found the tattoo shop Mandy was referring to. They went in and saw the guy Mandy was talking about

 -          Fred! – She called him. He was sitting on a table working on some drawings.

-          Amanda! – The guy said Mandy’s full name back. He was short, with short black hair and green emerald eyes in glasses with thick black frame, he was wearing a shirt with a black and white grip print and black pants. His body was full of tattoos, obviously.

-          Nobody calls me that way so don’t start – Mandy said – Fred did some of my ink work and some of Nick’s too. This is my friend Anastasia – Mandy introduced her to the guy, she smiled and they shook hands – We want tattoos, like right now.

-          Well, I don’t work on anybody without an appointment but for your luck I’m very free today, what do you want? – The girls looked at each other.

-          Good question – Anastasia said.

-          I don’t know. Not our names, that would be too cliché – Mandy said and Anastasia noticed she was still wearing her sunglasses.

-          I know! Hearts! A heart! In the left ring finger! It has the love vein which is connected to the heart – Anastasia said excited.

-          That’s why she is my friend; she’s the smart one – Mandy said to Fred.

-          Let me guess, you – he pointed to Anastasia – want it in blue and you – He pointed to Mandy – want it in pink – Fred said making reference to their outfits.

-          No – Mandy said – I will have the blue one and she will have the pink one – Anastasia smiled.

-          Let me warn you that fingers are a little bit painful but it will be alright because it’s just a small heart.

-          God! I’m so excited! – Mandy said hugging Anastasia – I’ll go first!

 Mandy took her turn and then it was time for Anastasia to sit. Fred was right, it hurt as hell but in a couple of minutes the pain was over and the tiny pink heart looked really cute in contrast with her pale skin, it almost looked like a birth mark, she was pleased and happy to see Mandy so joyful. They girls thanked Fred and hit the boardwalk one more time. Mandy took more snaps than Anastasia could count and posted a handful on Instagram, declaring that Friday with the hashtag #ThePinkAndBlueDay.

 Anastasia heard her stomach roar and decided it was time for food, they walked to a very nice place on Rose Avenue, it was a colourful café with a wall full of neon color graphic art and mini cars full of books. Everything was overwhelming at first, those bright tones, but once inside it fell cozy. Service was fast even though the place was crowded, within minutes Anastasia was enjoying a plate of Bucatini Carbonara and Mandy went for spaghetti with a miso sauce that was, surprisingly, pretty good. After a couple of drinks Anastasia remembered the email Eric sent her the day before.

 -          You know – Anastasia started to say – Yesterday while Eric was giving me a ride home he said that he knew the reason why Josh broke up with me and sent me an email of a convo they had.

-          And what does it say? – Mandy wanted to know.

-          I don’t know. I haven’t read it – Anastasia said.

-          Do you want to know the reason after all?

-          I’m a little bit curious, to be honest.

-          Well I’m curious too. Why lie?

-          What if it makes me feel worse?

-          What if it makes you feel better?

-          Do you really think knowing the real reason Josh broke up with me will make me feel better?

-          I don’t know. Maybe the reason is that he got into some kind of trouble with the mafia and he was forced to date the young daughter of the mob boss to pay for his debt.

-          Mandy! – Anastasia said laughing hard.

-          You’ll never know! You should read it and then think about it. I will be here to support you – Anastasia grabbed her phone – No! Not here. I don’t want people see us cry.

-          Do you think it will make me cry?

-          You never know – Mandy said repeating herself – Let’s go to your place and read it there. With a bottle of wine just in case.

-          You are quite a character – Anastasia kept laughing.

-          But before that, you have been through so much pain today – Mandy said pointing at her new tattoo– And you deserve ice cream.

 Before heading home the friends did a pit stop at an ice cream shop on Abbot Kinney Boulevard to grab some “Wildflower Honey Ricotta Walnut Cookies” ice cream for Anastasia and “Strawberry Honey Balsamic” for Mandy.

 -          Man! I didn’t even understand the name of the flavor but is so good – Mandy said while both tried each other’s choices of ice cream.

 The ride back home was filled with happiness. Anastasia loved to spend days like that with Mandy and she was more than happy with her new tattoo. It’s true what people said, the first time after having some ink it creates a kind of addiction and so far her ink marks were very pretty. Now they were at her place, sitting on her couch with her Macbook on her lap opening Eric’s email. Before clicking on it, she took a large sip of wine and opened the message. There was no turning back.

 It was a series of screenshots. Josh and Eric were having a conversation by text. Eric asked him about Anastasia and then the text exchange took a wild turn.

 Eric: How are things going?

Josh: Well... You know.

Eric: Did you get to talk to Anastasia in New York?

Josh: I didn’t have the balls to do it. Are you going to question that too?

Eric: No man, you are my friend after all.

Josh: She is too.

Eric: I’m not here to judge anybody. You must have a reason to do what you did.

Josh: I can control Lauren. Anastasia is a girl with her shit too together. – Anastasia and Mandy shared a glance.

Eric: Don’t you want a girl with her shit together?

Josh: An doesn’t need me. I have nothing to offer her. I’m making Lauren’s dreams come true. Which dreams can I make come true for Anastasia, a girl who has it all?

Eric: The dream of having a relationship?

Josh: I don’t know. I can’t assure you anything right now ‘cuz I know as soon as she comes back to regular touring I’m gonna fall for her again. I don’t know how to explain this. I love her but I can’t be with her, not right now. All the fame and the magazines thing don’t help. It freaks me out that she is too strong; she doesn’t need me, Eric. She doesn’t need me.

Eric: A relationship isn’t about needing, it’s about loving and you two love the shit out of each other. You literally have NOTHING in common with this girl yet you share so many passions with An.

Josh: I don’t know. I’m happy, though.

Eric: You are?

Josh: I’m having fun!

Eric: I have no doubt about that.

 -          So Josh is a pussy – Mandy said sipping some wine.

-          I don’t even understand. He left me because he can’t control me? – Anastasia said indignant – What kind of misogynist shit this is?

-          I don’t think it’s that way. I believe it has more to do with his low self-esteem. He found a girl, you, who was at his level, a little higher I would say, and he freaked about because he didn’t know how to handle himself in the relationship. I do believe he loves you, though. He is just lost.

-          I don’t give a fuck. He can get lost out of my life right now.

-          You know that’s going to be hard; especially now that we are gonna start touring again.

-          You’re right but this was an eye opener, definitely. I mean… Josh is a pussy – Both friends laughed. And after all Mandy was right, Anastasia felt immensely better now.

Read chapter 26

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Chapter 22: Dot Hacker surprises

Hey everyone! Here I bring you another chapter of the #JoshAn story.

I’m sure some of you had noticed that Anastasia’s IG profila haven’t been that active lately and I’m sorry about that but it have bee and hard couple of dyas for me and I don’t want to be on social media that much. I’ll come back, eventually so don’t unfollow her becaus I’ve been founding amazing pictures to upload there!

As always I wanna thank you all for reading my fic, I love you all so much!

Anastasia_Truman  ❤️️

Read chapter 21

When Mandy knew about the date with Valentine, of course, she lost her mind and she had no trouble letting Anastasia know her disappointment.

-          Why the fuck did you go see Valentine? – She asked Anastasia in the house she shared with Peyton.

-          I was testing myself – Anastasia answered.

-          Testing yourself? – Mandy said desperate. – I don’t understand you right now. Valentine is an asshole, why is it so hard for you to understand that?

-          I know – Anastasia said taking Mandy by her arms and smiling – I know that now. I needed this; I needed to see him to close that chapter in my life.

-          But An, he is dangerous – Mandy said looking at her friend’s eyes.

-          My car’s hood knows it – Anastasia said letting her friend go and taking a seat in one of the futons in the living room – He hit it. Don’t you worry about me, ok?

-          Of course I worry about you; you are having a shitty moment with this entire Josh breakup situation. Believe me; you don’t need Valentine in your life.

-          I don’t want him, trust me – Anastasia got up – I actually took a weight off my shoulders; I feel relieved. I’m gonna go home and I will take a long bath and then I will watch as many horror movies as I physically can on Netflix.

-          Call me if you need something – Mandy said while Anastasia was at the door – Oh! And by the way, Dot Hacker’s album is out today so you should call Eric and congratulate him – Josh’s image appeared in Anastasia’s mind instantly.

-          I will - She said.

She sat in her car remembering all the times Josh told her about the album and how he never let her listen to any song. He was a perfectionist and never liked when others listened to his work before it was complete. She also remembered him saying that she would get a copy; that sounded very unlikely to happen right now. She sent the congratulations text to Eric and after a few minutes thinking about it, she sent one to Josh too.

“Hey, just wanted to congratulate you for the release of the album. I haven’t heard it yet but will soon. People are saying great things about it. – She lied- Coming from you I’m sure it’s perfect”

She tapped the send button without thinking about it. She hadn’t talked to Josh since he left her house after breaking up with her. Almost a month passed by since that. He never tried to contact her and she was busy forgetting about him to write him. But his album release looked like a good moment to know about him. She drove home with the image of his face in her head and asking herself for how much longer this was going to hurt.

Before opening her front door she noticed a package on the floor. She picked up and conveniently enough it was the new Dot Hacker record in CD version and vinyl. There was a note attached to it, from Josh. It was his handwriting, she could recognize it. The note read: “I told you I would give you a copy and this was the most special I sent. Hope you like it. There are a couple of surprises inside. I know you will recognize them. Maybe they are things I should have told you but never could. JAK”.

Tears filled her eyes. It was inevitable. She entered the house, left her bag and the discs to one side and went upstairs to have a bath. She kept an eye on her phone but still no sign of a reply from Josh. She took her time and tried to relax; then she went back downstairs and cooked herself a nice dinner, grabbed a wine bottle and took the vinyl Josh sent her, put it on her turntable and got ready to listen to the songs.

C Section was the first and she found it beautiful. Josh had that song ready a long time ago. She couldn’t help but get lost in his sweet, velvety voice. He had pipes even if he didn’t like to sing that much. She could hear him sing all day every day.

The first “surprise” that Josh promised was in the song Apt Mess.

I don’t want this anymore I can’t find the door How’d we get so lost Not fair

Try to take charge Of the picture at large Discover reaches that are far Are far off

Listening to that part she knew it was about their relationship. Josh felt lost but she never saw any clue about that situation. Now she felt bad, like in a guilty position. Maybe she hadn’t paid the attention he needed in the relationship. Maybe she had been selfish. The tears appeared again.

 Whirlwind, spinning, don’t miss the chance to discover Why is my foot caught in this trap while you’re still running?

 He definitely didn’t felt comfortable with her. How did she miss that? How did she miss the fact the he felt so miserable. Was it her fame weight? Or was it the fact that she didn’t want a commitment in the immediate future? She felt disgusted with herself. She pushed him away and didn’t do anything to catch him again. At the same time the fact that he never said anything to her about it crossed her mind. She poured another glass of wine, wiped the tears from her face and prepared herself for another song.

You're the screaming

Screaming when my throat runs dry

I'm behind your turnaround

Not sure who's the buzz

That was Beseech and she found it like a love song.

Hide and seek you

You're just waiting to be caught, to be found

Let me be your feet on the ground

Be your safe and sound

I wanna see you get angry

The war's waiting for my word

Remember me

Remember me

 Those ‘Remember me’s’ resounded inside her head for what seemed like minutes. Remember me… Of course she remembered him; he was the one leaving without saying a word. Suddenly, without any warning, anger took power of her mind. He had the nerve to write her that note and then give her those songs and he can’t even reply to that fucking message she sent him earlier? She texted him three hours ago.

Anastasia started to scream, as if that way she could take out all the pain she had inside her body. The song was still sounding in the background. She got up the couch with a lot of force, spilling her glass of wine and that made her angrier. She kept screaming, it was like an external fiery force taking over her body. His voice could be still heard in the living room and the song was starting to annoy her. She focused on Josh and all the anger she had inside. The song was coming to an end. She couldn’t believe it. If Josh would had talked to her none of this would have happened, they could have figured it out and maybe they would still be together. “Damn Josh!” she screamed and on a madness rant she grabbed the turntable and threw it to the ground, and it broke in two. She just wanted to stop hearing his voice; she just wanted to stop hearing him. She wanted to stop… that… just stop. She sat on the floor with the broken turntable next to her and the vinyl still on it, she grabbed it and broke it too in as many pieces as she could.

She lied there, in the cold floor, confused, crying. She looked at her phone one last time to see that Josh never replied to her message.

The next day the morning light hit her violently in the face, she opened her eyes slowly, it took her four attempts to proper and fully opened them. She got up from the floor where she fell asleep last night between tears and pieces of her turntable and Josh’s record. She realized what she did, the disaster she made in her living room. Her turntable was destroyed, she lamented it, it was an unique piece, it was made of light cedar wood with a modern technology for a perfect sound and they weren’t manufactured anymore. She felt sad.

She got up and picked up the pieces and after cleaning the place she realized she didn’t want to be alone in her house. She went upstairs, took a quick shower, grabbed a small suitcase, packed a few things and got in her car. She was going to Malibu, Barbara and the twins was that family support she needed right now. Anastasia turned the radio on and she had a CD inside the device, and like sent by the force of the universe it was “Rumors” by Fleetwood Mac, Dreams started to sound and oh… how she loved that song, that record, that band. In that moment Stevie’s voice was all she needed to hear. She started to sing along, like a procedure of catharsis.

 Like a heartbeat… drives you mad

In the stillness of remembering what you had

And what you lost...

 When the chorus came she sang harder.

 Thunder only happens when it's raining

Players only love you when they're playing

Say... Women... they will come and they will go

When the rain washes you clean... you'll know, you'll know

 Oh, if only she could write like Steve wrote that song to Lindsey. And there it was the answer, she needed to write, she was going to Malibu to have a week of peace with her family and she would seat in the shore to write, about her, about Josh and to let go all those feelings she didn’t want to feel anymore. It worked once it could work now. She was broken inside and she always did amazing songs when her soul was down and in dark.

 And if you don't love me now

You will never love me again

I can still hear you saying

You would never break the chain.

 She was singing The Chain this time. It was like the perfect record for the perfect moment. Stevie never let her down. Why Josh couldn’t be like Stevie?

After an hour driving, Anastasia parked in front of her sister’s house. She walked to the entrance and knocked the door two times. Barbara opened and stared at her confused.

 -          I thought that I was fine but I’m not – She said and Barbara just gave her a hug without answer back. Tears ran in Anastasia’s face again.

 The next two days all Anastasia did was eating, sleep and play with the kids. She loved the twins; she was there the first years when she still lived with Barbara. She took care of them so many times and, of course, the twins loved her back. London, the boy, was starting to learning drums and she was thrilled that at least one of them liked music and wanted to continue the legacy. Lynda was the intellectual one, since she learned how to read she never stopped; now she was writing short stories and small poems. Anastasia was proud of them and she always says it so they never forget it. Having kids was far from her plans but she enjoyed being the twins so much.

On a Tuesday she locked herself in the studio at the “guest house” in Malibu. She was determinate to write, carry all the feelings inside of her and put them in paper. She walked to the terrace that surrounded the recording studio and took a deep breath letting all that sea scent fulfill her lungs. She loved Malibu; she wished she could have a place like this when she could run from everything. She could do that there, but it wasn’t the same, she wanted a place where she could be totally alone. The past two years she hardly have any opportunity to enjoy her loneliness and sometimes she needed, sometimes we all need to be actually alone, just with our self and our own soul.

Now she had to write. She felt so good writing, for her, was better than a therapist, she tried psychological therapy for years and she even took antidepressants when she was a teenager as a treatment for her chronic depressive syndrome but one day she was sick about it, about the pills, she felt sick with all those chemicals in her body, she leave them. One day she decided that her humor and thoughts wasn’t going to depend of a pill. Instead music was the medicine she needed, and work. Once she started to work hard she didn’t had the time to think about the miserable aspects of her life. Many will think that she was suppressing her suffering with work and that would result in a sick outburst someday, but for now it worked for her. She was a workaholic but with the tour she had to slow down her lifestyle. Now she was free again, until middle February when they played in New York again.

She seated in the terrace to write, she thought of Josh but not in a sad way, more in like a teaching way, she try to think in all the lessons this relationship left her. If he had told her what she did wrong this would have been so much easier. But in her mind the relationship was perfect, yes they had their ups and downs but as far as she knows everyone does. He left her, that was the true, he left her without saying a word, he send her a message trough his album, an album she was sure he changed in the last weeks to add those things about her. If he took the time and the work to do that she must have mean something to him. She didn’t wanted to feel like Josh just totally forget about her and didn’t care about her, she was sure he still do that but she was ignorant about the reason why he want to stay far.

 The monument of a memory

You tear it down in your head

Don't make the mountain your enemy

Get out, get up there instead

You saw the stars out in front of you

Too tempting not to touch

But even though it shocked you

Something's electric in your blood.

 She grabbed her black notebook and started writing. The words just flowed from her mind to her fingers and were imprinted on the paper as an evidence of her feelings. She remembered the cover of Dot Hacker’s album with the three flowers.

 And people just untie themselves

Uncurling like flowers.

 But still you stumble, feet give way

Outside the world seems a violent place

But you had to have him, and so you did

Some things you let go in order to live

While all around you, the buildings sway

You sing it out loud, "who made us this way?"

I know you're bleeding, but you'll be okay

Hold on to your heart, you'll keep it safe

Hold on to your heart, don't give it away.

 After midnight Anastasia realized she was starving so walked downstairs to the small kitchen in the guest house to prepare her something to eat then she saw her phone on the counter, a small light was blinking as a clear indication that someone was trying to contact her. She touched the screen and it lighted up, she saw that Carl, Dead Curse’s manager, tried to call her about twelve times and let her a couple of text messages. Mandy called just five times and Eric called her a couple of times too. All right, people where looking for her, she called Mandy back as she thought was the only one which was prudent to call at such hours.

 -          Did somebody died? – Anastasia said when Mandy picked up the call.

-          We thought you did – She answered – Then Barbara told us that you have two days locked on the studio.

-          Man, it’s been two days already? – Anastasia said.

-          Carl needs to talk to us, so we are going to have a reunion at the label tomorrow, at ten in the morning, be there.

-          Ok boss! – Anastasia said.

-          How have you been feeling? – Mandy had to ask.

-          I’m fine. For real. This time I’m being honest – Anastasia said.

-          Well I see you tomorrow at the label, don’t be late! – Mandy said and hang the phone.

 If Carl was going to be at a label reunion something must happen, it wasn’t the usual, for sure. Maybe they wanted another record soon or the label was going to say that the Chili Peppers were doing so good with the new opening band that they wasn’t going to play the rest of the shows that was planned. Oh, how wrong she was…

 -          Thank you all for being here – Paul, the label head executive started saying at the reunion – We are going to be quick because we know that Carl needs to come back to the tour. Here is the thing, we made a mistake taking you guys out of the tour, people actually like your performance and we have a lot of concert goers asking for you to be back on The Getaway tour.

-          You serious? – Mandy asked with her chin in the floor. She was surprised.

-          Yes – Paul continued – So we want you to come back. The New York show is just a couple weeks away and after that we want to have you guys as residents on the rest of the North America dates.

 Anastasia turned to see the faces of her band mates and the smiles were big. Mandy had a light in her eyes.

 -          We actually miss you all on the tour – Carl said.

-          Man, this is awesome – Nick said with an even bigger smile.

-          I’m gonna send the schedule to all of you if you accept to come back – Carl talked again

-          There’s no need to ask that, is obvious that we are going back – Eric said

-          For sure – Mandy said.

 And then all the eyes were upon Anastasia’s face. It was a great opportunity and the fact that people actually wanted to see them was overwhelming but that also means she was going to deal with Josh more that she expected to. She wasn’t sure; it was a great deal for the band but a terrible plan for her mental sanity. She looked at her friends, they wanted this, she didn’t want to disappoint them, besides that life on tour was great, but it was good with Josh, she didn’t know what to do now. She wanted to be selfish and say “no, this is no good for me”, she looked at her friends again, looked at their smiles and a complete different set of words came out of her mouth.

 -          Let’s do it – She said not believing her brain dictated that phrase. 

Read chapter 23

You all now already that I can’t write songs so I’m using some of the ones I love that goes along with Anastasia’s situation.

How Big, How Blu, How Beautiful is a record that helped me a lot with a break up and Various Storms & Saints is the prfect song to forgive yourself. I love it.

[neverisalongtime-ja-blog]

Chapter 20: New Year, new disappointment

Hello everyone! Is Thursday again. First of all I want to say that I'm extremely sad about the Chris Cornell news. Is a terrible feeling when your idols start to die.

In fic’s news I really hope no one hates me for this chapter. Said that I want to see feedback, people. Talk to me! Tell me if you like the fic or if you hate it, anything!

You can talk to me here or in at Anastasia’s IG profile that you must follow! Specially if you wan to see the ring Josh gave to An as Christmas gift in the last chapter!

Anastasia_Truman

Much love to you all! ❤️️

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Read chapter 19

After the episode between Anastasia and Josh on Christmas Day the relationship started to feel strange. Josh had to work that week, helping on the production of a record for a new pop singer; he was assisting a friend of his that was the actual producer. Anastasia didn’t know about him for days, she thought he was really busy and, just like her, he doesn’t want to be bothered while being in the studio so she didn’t try hard to reach him.

-          You are coming to my house for the New Year’s party, right? – Hannah was asking Anastasia on the phone.

-          Sure! Text me this week what I should bring – Anastasia answered.

-          Don’t worry, we’ll be in contact! – Hannah said before ending the call.

Anastasia and Mandy were having breakfast that morning in a little coffee shop in Los Angeles.

-          Peyton is going with me to Hannah’s house for New Year’s Eve – Mandy said – He thought we were going to Malibu but I really wanna spend that day with all of you. I mean we have spent so much time of this year together.

-          I haven’t talked to Josh about it but I guess we’ll be there too. Actually, I haven’t talked with Josh a lot these days.

-          Is he still mad because you don’t want to get married?

-          It’s not like that. It’s just that… I guess that’s where the age gap has an effect on the relationship.

-          It’s not a big age gap, though.

-          Yes. I know. But I don’t want to get married yet, Mandy. I still have so much to do and you know I don’t believe in that. Our relationship is still young; I guess we have to… I don’t know, live together first.

-          You’ve kind of been doing it.

-          It’s not the same!

-          Did you tell him about… you know, the kids problem?

-          The fact that I can’t get pregnant? – It was a subject that Anastasia had tried to avoid for a large part of her life, it wasn’t hard for her to talk about it, yet only Barbara and Mandy knew, she just didn’t want people to feel pity for her.

-          Well, if you want to throw it like that, yes.

-          I wanted to but I couldn’t. The atmosphere was so tense and I thought it would make everything worse. I’m afraid that if I tell him he will run away.

-          You are joking right? You have to tell him! It’s obvious that he wants to be a father and I think his love for you is rock solid.

-          And we can still be parents, we can adopt or we can have a surrogate mother. I can’t believe we are talking about this right now.

-          He needs to know, An.

-          Well, I’ll talk to him when I see him. I really haven’t seen him much this week.

-          That’s weird.

-          He’s been busy, working with this chick, a new pop singer.

-          Remember when we wanted to be pop singers?

-          I always thought I was going to be the next Britney Spears.

-          I wanted the short outfits, the big choreographies, the drama, everything!

-          There’s another thing – Anastasia changed the subject as she remembered something -When we went to have dinner with his parents last week, his father mentioned that he was happy Josh found a girl with her shit together, he said that I was successful and things like that and Josh took that in a strange way. The ambient got tense. I don’t know.

-          That is even weirder. Why would he act like that?

-          He didn’t want to talk about it afterwards. I didn’t mention it, neither.

The girls didn’t give any further importance to the Josh issue and dedicated their time to enjoy their breakfast.

On the last day of the year, Anastasia was at her house getting ready for Hannah and Eric's party. She had been trying to reach Josh all week but he didn’t answer his phone. He only sent her a text the night before in which he accepted going to the party with her and agreeing to meet there. Anastasia felt anxious, Josh never acted like that before; but she knew he was busy.

“Was he really that angry?” She told herself to get through it and try to enjoy the party.

She arrived to Hannah and Eric’s house with Mandy and Peyton. Everyone was already there, even Josh’s sister Kelly. Everyone but Josh.

-          I thought my brother was coming with you – Kelly told Anastasia taking a sip of her wine glass.

-          Your brother has been acting strange- Anastasia answered – He told me we will meet here – She couldn’t help but notice Eric and Jonnathan giving a worried look to each other. She ignored it.

-          That’s so Josh – Kelly said.

-          What do you mean?

-          My brother is not made to date strong women like you – Kelly stopped talking realizing she said more than she should– Don’t mind me, I’m kind of drunk already.

After a couple of hours at the party, Anastasia walked outside the house and tried to call Josh again as he hadn’t appeared yet. He didn’t answer but she left him a voicemail.

-          So I’ve been at Eric’s place for two hours already and I wanted to know if you are actually gonna come. I’m looking kind of foolish here waiting for you and I’m kind of angry too, it’s New Year’s Eve Josh… Where the fuck are you?! – She started to raise her voice – I mean Josh… God! I’m going to hang up, I really hope you come here tonight.

She felt a pair of arms behind her and she thought it might be Josh, but it was only Mandy.

-          Come and enjoy the party – She said.

-          I look like a fucking idiot. I’m here WITH HIS FRIENDS! And he is not here! I don’t even know where he is. Don’t you think that he is...?

-          No baby, he isn’t cheating on you. Maybe he doesn’t feel right and he is sleeping – Mandy said but both girls knew that was pretty unreal.

Anastasia went back into the house with Mandy and sat with Kelly and Hannah. Everyone at the party was being funny and making the ambient entertaining. Nobody mentioned Josh and even though Anastasia had a good time, she tried to call Josh a few more times and sent him a couple of texts. As they did the countdown to midnight, she realized Josh wasn’t going to appear. She wished a great New Year to everyone, excused herself and left the place, called an Uber to her house and threw herself on her bed just to cry.

She didn’t notice when the sun came up. She saw a small light line coming through the curtains. She got up from the bed, took a long shower, then walked to the kitchen, once there she heard a couple of knocks on the door.

-          It’s open! – She yelled.

Anastasia heard the door being open and then Josh appeared on her kitchen.

-          Well, you decided to appear.

-          I’m so sorry – Josh said taking a seat on one of the stools at the kitchen island. He didn’t even try to hug Anastasia.

-          I don’t care – Anastasia said without looking at him and started to make coffee.

-          An…

-          Do you even know how stupid I felt last night? – She said focusing on the coffee machine, turning her back to him.

-          Something came up with my family and I had a bad reception – Anastasia turned around to look at him.

-          Are you really lying to me?

-          I’m not…

-          Kelly was with me last night. If something had happened with your family we would have known! – Anastasia couldn’t believe Josh was lying right now. He realized that and couldn’t say more -  This is some other level, Josh. What’s wrong with you?

-          I’ve been thinking a lot this week… And I don’t know if I want to keep doing this.

-          Doing what?

-          This relationship.

-          Is it because I don’t want to get married right now?

-          No An. I’m sorry. I know I look terrible to you right now. I don’t have a right reason to do this but I feel it’s just right.

-          Are you breaking up with me and you don’t even give me a reason? – Anastasia was losing her patience – What the fuck, Josh! – She yelled at him.

-          I’m sorry – Josh said looking to the floor.

-          Sorry? You sorry? Fuck you, Josh. Just leave! Get out of my house right now! – She screamed.

-          But…

-          GET OUT!

Josh did what she said and left the house. Anastasia was shocked, heavily breathing. The anxiety was taking over and the rage too. She poured herself a cup of coffee, looked at the cup and threw it with all her forces at the wall in front of her as she yelled “Fuck you, Josh!” with all the strength of her lungs. Then she felt as all the energy left her body and she fell on the kitchen floor to cry, to cry her heart out. Her brain stopped functioning and she just lay there, in the cold kitchen floor. She was shocked and paralyzed.

She remained there in fetal position for a long time. She didn’t know for how long but it was already dark outside as she heard the front door again, this time Mandy appeared in the kitchen, she yelled Anastasia’s name and rushed to be next to her friend.

-          An! Are you ok? – Mandy said – I’ve been calling you all day! Barbara tried to reach you but you didn’t answer the phone, not even our texts – Anastasia remembered that her phone was still on her bedroom.

-          Josh… broke up with me – She said through sobs. Her face was red and swollen from crying all day.

-          Why? – Mandy asked.

-          He didn’t tell me – Anastasia tried to get up but she couldn’t without the help of her friend.

Mandy took her to the living room couch and then went to clean the mess that the coffee cup left that morning.

-          I don’t understand, Mandy, what did I do wrong? – Anastasia said still crying.

-          This is stupid. He is stupid! – Mandy said getting back to the living room – He is just a fucking coward.

-          I never thought this would happen again and I can’t believe it hurts this much. It wasn’t even that long – She started to cry again.

-          You fell deep for him and all this is so weird, so sudden – Mandy said trying to comfort her friend – This is not the Josh we know.

-          I wish I didn’t know him at all right now – Anastasia said between sobs.

Anastasia was waking up from her living coma and all the feelings hit her at once. She felt sadness, anger, disappointment, confusion, madness and on top of it she felt empty. For the last few months she had been swimming in the ocean of love and for a long time she just focused her attention on Josh and the great thing they were building. She forgot she was afraid of this, getting hurt again. She felt bad, even sadder than the time she broke up with Valentine. Josh left a deep imprint on her and she knew it was going to be a long and hard road to get over it.

-          What is wrong with me? I’m pretty sure it is me – Anastasia said trying to gasp for air – Maybe I do things wrong and I don’t know how to handle relationships.

-          There is nothing wrong with you; the only wrong thing here is all the assholes you find on your way.

-          I want to be alone – Anastasia said.

-          I know that you wanna be alone but I will not grant you that wish. I can’t leave you alone in this state. I’m gonna make you some soup and tea and I will go out and buy burgers and ice cream ‘cuz you need grease and sugar in your organism right now.

-          I don’t want to eat, Mandy. I just want to die – Mandy hugged Anastasia tight.

-          Baby, no man in this world deserves you saying such things, much less Josh – Mandy got up from the couch and grabbed her keys – I will come back soon.

After a while, Anastasia also got up from the couch, walked slowly to her bedroom and grabbed her phone with the stupid hope of seeing a message from Josh, but nothing, not even a small word. She went back to the couch and as she stared at nothing she remembered all the times Josh and her shared that couch to eat, watch Netflix or even to make love. For some reason she feel disgusted with herself and felt hate for him, everything in that house reminded her of him. She started to cry again.

Unfortunately, bad news kept coming for Anastasia. Next day she had to put her sadness and illness away to attend a meeting at the label with the rest of the band, only to receive the news that Dead Curse would not continue as the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ opening act, with the exceptions of the shows in New York, Los Angeles and Miami. That was a heavy stone thrown at the band members. Anastasia saw the faces of her mates and the sadness inside her grew bigger. The worst thing is that not even one executive knew how to explain the reasons. “They want to try other artists”, one of them said.

Anastasia remembered that night when Josh told her that he pushed the buttons to make Dead Curse their opening act, and now she was wondering if he did the same but in reverse this time. On the one hand this was great for her, she wouldn’t have to see him every day, and on the other, it was terrible for the band. Mandy, Nick and Eric felt defeated. Anastasia tried to cheer them up, telling them that they would find places to play their own shows, but she wasn’t feeling very positive about life and its courses at the moment, so she failed that mission.

-          Last year was so amazing and this one is starting so shitty – Anastasia said on the way home in Eric’s car – I really just need to get home and cry.

-          We knew this wasn’t a permanent thing – Nick said – And we get to be part of important shows like New York and LA.

-          At least someone is looking at the bright side – Mandy said staring outside the window in the backseat.

After dropping Mandy and Nick at their places, Eric drove Anastasia home and then she asked him to stay. She needed to talk to him; maybe being Josh’s friend he would know the reason behind his decision.

-          I’m as shocked as you are – Eric said in the kitchen.

-          Come on, Eric! You have to know something – Anastasia said.

-          I swear to you I don’t. I wouldn’t lie to you! – He said –I’m actually angry at him. I can’t believe he did this to you.

-          No! No, no, no. you can’t be mad at him. You two are friends and share a band! – Anastasia said – I was afraid of this. I don’t want to be the reason of you leaving Dot Hacker or losing a friend.

-          But you are my friend too and we share my main band.

-          I’m not gonna be Dot Hacker’s Yoko – Eric smiled – At least I haven’t lost my sense of humor. At the New Year’s party I saw you and Jonathan sharing a suspicious glance.  

-          Really?

-          Yes, Kelly mentioned Josh and you two looked at each other.

-          I swear I don’t know anything. I only know Josh can be a real asshole sometimes, if I get more information I’ll come to you – Eric started walking to the door – I’m going with Hannah, she is gonna be thrilled to know that I’m going to spend more time in LA with her – Before walking out the door he turned back to Anastasia – You should try and write about this. You only make good songs when you are sad.

-          Unfortunately – Anastasia said and Eric closed the door behind him.

He was right, she thought, so she entered her home studio and grabbed a notebook and she took seat in front of a piano. Writing songs was the best therapy for her. It was an incredible way to bring all her feelings and thoughts out. It was like emptying her mind and turning disgrace into beautiful art. She wrote the first two lines with no problem:

“Don't touch the sleeping pills, they mess with my head,

Dredging the Great White Sharks, swimming in the bed”

And the chorus with great agility. The words just came out of her brain to the paper without interruption:

“And oh my love remind me, what was it that I said?

I can't help but pull the earth around me, to make my bed

And oh my love remind me, what was it that I did?

Did I drink too much?

Am I losing touch?

Did I build this ship to wreck?”

After that song, another was written and then another, and by the first sun rays in the morning Anastasia had five songs completed in her notebook. 

Read Chapter 21

Author's Note: As you can tell I have no clue in how to write songs so I borrowed Florence and the Machine’s song “Ship to Wreck”, I leave you the video here if you want to hear it. That album ( How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful) is an amazing break up album, it helped me a lot in the past so I fully recommend it.

[itsegerton]

CHAPTER 2: Pink Hair

Hi everyone! I'm back after the hiatus I predicted I would have. Truth is that I'm having a hard time writting this fanfic, which is something that never happened to me before. But I'll keep trying!

Anyway, here it is chapter number 2 and Taron will be soon on scene! Actuallly on chapter 3, so when should I upload it?

Dont forget te feedback! ♥

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Chapter 1

Anastasia found herself standing in front of the purple door that she had knocked on so many times before. This particular door stood out from others in the neighborhood. She knocked a little bit harder, anticipation was running through her veins. When it opened, she could see a dash of pink hair -saying it was bubble-gum pink would be a cliché but it was bright- and a smile appeared behind it. That vision had the great power of easing Anastasia’s anxiety. Those green eyes shielded her from fear. That tight hug was her clarity in the midst of perdition.

When Anastasia’s life turned grey, those pink waves were all the glitz she needed. Amanda Reinhart was her name, but for Anastasia she was and would always be ‘Mandy,’ her closest friend, so much that at times they turned into one sole entity. They met when they were 12 years old. Mandy was Anastasia’s first taste of American society when she moved to California being but a child. Mandy’s greeting dissipated all her nerves for starting a new school in a foreign country. From that day on, not one passed without them talking to each other.

“You look pale,” noticed Mandy, letting her friend in.

“I’ve never not looked pale,” Anastasia replied, with half a smile.

“It suits you.” Said Mandy, as she sat next to her friend in the huge couch that adorned her living room.

“Mandy… my life has gone insane.” Anastasia burst into tears for the first time in a while.

“When has it not been? That’s what makes it exciting!” The pink-haired girl tried comforting her friend, throwing her arms around her. “I mean, you’re a witch and a rock star,” Mandy smiled.

“I wouldn’t call myself a witch so lightly. Right now I’d like to stay as far away from that adjective as possible. These past few days have been mad.”

"I heard about your neighbors", Mandy said walking to her kitchen while being followed by Anastasia. "It's so sad they were so fun. They had this amazing Beatles vinyl collection". The Beatles were Mandy's favorite band.

Mandy grabbed a pint of caramel ice cream and put it on the kitchen counter just in front of Anastasia.

"I need to tell you something"

"Shoot"- said the pink haired girl offering a spoon to her best friend.

Mandy was very aware of Anastasia's nature. She was always more enthusiastic about Anastasia being a witch that Anastasia herself. But the midnight blue haired girl was relieved she had somebody to talk about it. Only Mandy could understand everything that went on in Anastasia’s life; even being so different, it seemed like they were cut from the same mold. Mandy knew of Anastasia’s powers from the very beginning and always thought of them as her friend’s most exciting feature. Although unbeknown to it, Amanda had powers of her own as well, such as knowing exactly what Anastasia was thinking in any given situation or getting the words out of her friend’s mouth even when she didn’t want to speak.

"I think I killed them… The Jensens"- both stayed in complete silence before a loud laugh came out from Mandy's mouth.

"What the hell? Listen to yourself", she laughed some more "You couldn't kill a fly even if you wanted", those words were followed by a big spoon of ice cream.

"The other night a dark creature tried to murder me in my house. We aren't sure what it was"

"We?", another spoon with ice cream went to rest in Mandy's mouth.

"Me and Barbara. She believes it was a Marugar, a blood sucking demon"

"Like a vampire?"

"More like an evil spirit. They have long nails and pale yellow skin, definitely not some Edward Cullen shit. The thing is that I scaped and then, the next day, both Mr and Mrs Jensen were found dry and in pieces in their bedroom".

"Did you saw them"

"I didn't enter the house but, that's the thing, I didn't have to. I touched Cindy and I saw what she saw inside there"

"Only by touching her?"

"Yes"

"So if you touch me you can see what I've seen?"

"No. Not sure how it works it never happened before"

"Thank God!! Not sure if I want you to see Peyton penis" Peyton was Mandy's long time boyfriend. Both girls laughed "You need to learn to control your power, this is getting dangerous"

"Yeah… I already had a conversation with Barbara about that"

"You can't neglect what you are"

"I am a musician, a successful producer and all of this is killing my creativity"

“There was no blood whatsoever?” Mandy asked bringing back the issue, in shock.

“None. Zero.”

“And what does Barbara mean with you taking over the Coven?”

“It’s nuts. I’m in the best time of my career, I’m working with people I always wanted to work with, I’m involved in projects I always wished for… I am neither ready nor able to throw all of that away to do something I never really cared for.”

“But you can’t escape from what you are.” The pink haired girl repeated

Anastasia stayed silent this time. Mandy was right, but she was also there to witness how hard her friend had worked to achieve her goals. Mandy had always been there, supporting Anastasia, working beside her, making their dreams come true, but she had also centered her friend when she spun away from her axis and always told her the truth, no matter how hard it was. That was one of her pink-haired-friend’s specialties.

“It’s frustrating to know I’ll never have such a close relationship with a man.” Anastasia reflected. Night had fallen, the conversation had extended for hours.

“All you need a man for is sex. For the rest, there’s me!” Mandy smiled.

"After all this happened" Anastasia continued "Barbara wants me to stay a couple of months in my flat in London".

"Maybe changing cities will help to boost your creativity up and you can't go back to your house" Mandy said.

"Actually I don't want to. I was hoping..." Anastasia started to talk slowly "You would give me the pleasure to join me in this self discovering trip". She just made up the plan at that moment.

"What else can you discover of yourself? You know that I'm always up for a trip to London but I can only stay a couple of weeks. I start filming soon and it's the biggest move if my career so far". As a truly Californian child, Mandy was an actress.

"Alright, that works for me", Anastasia jumped and hugged Mandy with a high smile on her face. Mandy separate her and looked at her concerned. "Don't worry, not a sight of Peyton's penis". Both laughed.

During the flight to London all she could thought about was her career. She worked so hard to make her own name in the industry, in such a brutal industry. Now she was at the top of music producers and she probably have to let it all go for something that didn't mean anything to her.

When they landed in British territory she tried to call Matt a couple more times. But the man was missing in action.