#anakin 'thats my son alright' skywalker

[leadshootingcupid]

SPY?

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING SPY! GOD DAMN FOOL DISAPPEARING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT CLASS OF THE DICKHEAD BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING SPY. STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT SPY I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP TRICKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT IS HE DEAD? IS HE A BASTARD? MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME, NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM, NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE, AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD, GET AWAY FROM ME.

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said spy's waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down. if i have to deal with spy speaking one word in person on voice in game not only will i close the game i will delete my steam account out of spite and have to replay the game on mute again for the experience of being able to hear him or hear a team mention him. i dont even know why i hate him so much. he disappears and abandons his son but i am just mad because i am ANGY. he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of Anakin Skywalker and wanted the irl version ill go ham. BETTER have had a cursed knife force him to kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him.

paypal.com/IFuckingHateSpy

comic's not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be him and I lost it. where the fuck is spy if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt.crusty old man. ill punch spy and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish. im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point. i hope theres a date given for when spy died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone, and everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who backstabbed so many other people

maple leaf anon (you never guess which of your colleagues i hate)

Uh, we haven't had set dates for dyin' since that one time we found out that teleportin' bread ain't good to do. So nah, Spook's not dead.

Also... he can be alright sometimes, mate.

Ya want his username?

[finn-2187]

alright here it is, the basics of my au plus art.... under the cut so you dont have to see it if you dont want to

k so first off this au take place during like the end of rebels through a few years post ROTJ. also a everybody lives au so its more happy. 

ok so basically the oc i made for the au is this boy right here:

he is the son of kallus and zeb ok. hes half human half lasat and he is a himbo and he likes to pick people up when he hugs them. he loves his dads and his friends.

well thats him as an adult, but for most of this au he is going to be in this little group here as a child:

left to right: ben solo (13), poe dameron (14), my oc who doesnt have a name yet if anyone wants to help out w that (14), finn skywalker (12), rey skywalker(9).yes i changed all thier birth years basically and no i do not give a shit. also poe has bleached tips because my little brother whos the same age does too and if theres a latine character i will project my family onto them and thats that on that.

so basically wedge antilles and luke skywalker got married becasue idk if you have noticed but wedgeluke is my favorite ship and so it has to be in every au.... so theyre married and they adopt 2 kids and those kids are rey and finn they rescue both of them from stormtrooper recruiting ppl so yeah. ben is emo, but he is an alright kid. r*ylo is non existent bc they're cousins. finnpoe will happen when they get a bit older like in their early 20s. poe has his old backstory with his awesome x wing mom back so luke and wedge are his godparents. here take some art of wedge and luke w rey in modern clothes. why? becasue i wanted to draw it:

they all grow up togetehr in the end of the rebellion and the emergence of the new republic and they all live together becasue i mean i dont think anyone wants to just fuck off onto whatever planet and be alone w/o thier friends after all this, with the exception of a few things like zeb and kallus went to lira san but came back to raise thier son with a bunch of other kids around his age bc i mean its probably better for him and zeb reads parenting books so he is concerned with that type of thing. and ben will go to lukes school but yeah. anyways the rebels crew and the OT crew and ya know what the R1 crew too are friends and try to give advice to the kids and stuff. me and my friend talked abt teen!finnpoe and like poe and my oc going around asking the adults how they got together and the couples are like. han/leia, wedge/luke, hera/kanan, zeb/kallus, sabine/my friends lady mandalorian oc, ezra/tristan...... like none of these couples knew how to flirt or anything they were all disasters so no one has any advice ad force ghost anakin is like have you tried floating a pear but poe doesnt have the force so like uncle lando drops in to give advice but its not age appropriate so the other adults r like bro stop. anyways. this au im gonna make connect to my other idea which was that instead of worsipping darth vader, ben looks up to anakin and sees how even after going to the dark side he was able to redeem himself and be good so even tho he is being pulled to the dark he looks to anakin for support so he can try to be like him, hes still gonna turn evil but he will turn good again in the end but that happens later so all thats importnant for this little au here is that ben likes to listen to my chemical romance. finn and rey are the best siblings and rey looks up to her older brother sm and he is always trying to look out for her. theyre both force sensitive so theyre both training to be jedi too. ok that might be everything so far but if i think of more ill reblog this post and add on. if you read this i love you omg and i hope you like my oc and my au even tho its purely self indulgent and i changed basically everything just to have this sappy cutesy au

[mamawolfblood]

Chapter 7

Zephyr pov

"Zephyr put into action formation Indigo." Iris said threw the comlinc. "You heard her boys go go go!" I yelled soon enough Obi-Wan and Iris arrived to aid us. It took a few hours but the enemy retreated on our end. "Anakin how are we lookin on your end." She asked "not good a quarter of my men are gone, and the rest of us are pinned in the north tower. We could use some hepl." He said the sound of blasters in the background. "On our way Anakin." She said before looking at Obi-Wan. "Looks like we are saving him today." He chuckled "Don't we always?" She smirks looking at me with a nod. "Alright boys lets move the 501st need some help." Runing to the north tower however was not easy. They were not kidding about being pinned. Iris and Obi-Wan were slicing threw Clankers while we deployed droid poppers. The death tole for us kept growing. This was making Iris more agitated. Thats mom for you though don't mess with her sons.

Anakin pov

Rex myself and some troopers were keeping the enemy at bay. "Iris Obi-Wan could use your help right about now." I said in the comlinc. What came out made my blood run cold. "We are working on it." Souded like a demon of some sort a pissed off one at that. "Thats Iris she will be here soon." Rex said unfazed because we aren't her target. "I see why you like her now." I joked but Rex glares at me because I could endanger both of them. "Sir Iris and I aren't like that." He said not knowing I know. I laugh it was cute "If you say so." I said only to see droid poppers being deployed and droid parts flying. Obi-Wan, Iris and the trooper were covered in oil. "Thats twice now Anakin." She said panting her hands on her knees. "I told you to slow down Iris." Obi-Wan said with a slight I told you so tone. "When have I ever listened to you?" She countered making me chuckle a bit. "Point taken but at least I am not bent over." Iris smirks "You were last night. Anakin gave me quite the picture." She laughed. "Hey don't drag me into this." I said only to see a gun ship land. Iris straighten up. "Looks like our reinforcements and Obi-Wan and my Padawan's are here." Iris said with a smile. "Well looks like you will be slowed down Iris. No more late night visit." She said glares at me. "There is always a way Anakin." She laughed. The hatch opened and two Toguta's stepped out. A male that was a splash darker than the female with similar face markings. He looked to be a bit older than her as well. He only wore white robe pants. I guess he doesn't like shirts. His green eyes found Iris and lit up. He stopped infront of her and bows. "It is an honor to serve under you master Tanooki. My name is Seswak Lousha." Iris giggles and bows to him "the honor is all mine. Lets work together to help you flourish." She said gently.

(We all know how Ahsoka introduced herself. She was very disrespectful and cocky. But still one of my favorite Characters by far.)

Iris chuckles "Oh look at that Obi another Anakin. Aren't you a lucky guy. Its the female version this go round." She said her elbow on Obi-Wan shoulder. "I demanded we switch Padawans. I can't do this again." He groaned. "With all due respect but I was assigned to be Master Skywalker's Palawan." The young female Togruta said pointing at Anakin. "Oh this is precious." Iris laughed "There has to be a mix up. I didn't ask for a Padawan." I said annoyed.

"Face it your stuck with me sky guy." Rex laughed Iris and Obi-Wan were no more good. "I love her already." Iris said whipping away a tear. "Oh she is perfect for you Ani one hundred percent." She said before walking with her Padawan next to her. She may look and act sweet but Iris is mean. "Rex will show you the ropes." I said stalking off.

[theworthofhollin]

SHITTY MOVIE REC OF THE WEEK: 

Nick Powell's OUTCAST (2014) starring Hayden Christensen, Yifei Liu, and Nicholas Cage. 

(i know. i know. bear with me here.)

Dudes. First things first: this is Hayden Christensen's perfect come-back film. like sure this is not a Great Film but I honestly forgot how good Christensen was as a physical actor??? and DAMN. with the physicality of this role...he is so good. (and what’s so great about this is watching it immediately following the clone wars tv show is PERFECT because its the same form of Anakin we see there: a killer, but war-torn, hungry, dynamic.) 

No, really. This is, I shit you not, the ultimate Anakin Skywalker AU Redemption Arc. But with more mohawks and stunning fight choreography and crazy good scenery and also did i mention mohawks. hayden christensen has a mohawk. anyways. if that alone doesnt make any sw fan want to watch this movie [on US Netflix too!!!] then 1. have fun living ur boring ass life??? 2. look at this photo, is that not rots skywalker to a t and 3. keep reading.

SO. Set in what we can assume is the late 1200s, early 1300s?? Hayden Christensen plays a Jedi Knight, sorry, TEMPLAR KNIGHT, named Anakin-- I MEAN JAKOB, who is fighting alongside his Master, Obi Wan Kenobi-- no, sorry, his MENTOR, NIC CAGE, in the Clone Wars, sorry, i mean THE CRUSADES. classic mix up.

SIDENOTE: If the guy who wrote this movie doesnt also have a secret ao3 account dedicated to his star wars prequel au fanfic collection that he’s been cultivating since high school then ill eat my fucking shoe. 

(also idk what Cage’s character’s actual name is considering I, like everyone else in the world, can only refer to him as Nic Cage in any role ever. But back to the point.) 

[spoilers ahead]

Alright. so. 

Somewhere In The Middle East, Nic-Wan Kenobi witnesses his protégé's bloodlust in a battle that results in the deaths of a temple full of innocent women and children, (THE YOUNGLINGS... ANAKIN....) and naturally he goes awol, while Jakob/Anakin spirals down a guilt-driven descent into opium, believing himself to be Damned, Capital D, for his actions. 

SIDE NOTE: Hayden looks especially good in this movie, but particularly when he’s PISSED OFF and EXTRA SAD. i dont want to use to the term smad but damn. smad is...a good look here. 

i digress. 

(serious spoilers below:)

Here's where we enter fix-it fic mode: 3 years after the Crusades have ended, (and in true Kenobi style, Nic Cage has disappeared into the vast eastern wilderness with only his patchy grief-beard and an extra robe he’ll probably lose) a Chinese King is dying, and wishes to make his heir his gentle-hearted 13-year-old son. His elder son, a brutal war-monger, says FUCK U DAD, kills him and takes the throne, but not before their sister LIAN, played by the lovely YIFEI LIU, escapes with both her younger brother and the seal to the kingdom under the cover of night.

(this is basically TPM with shittier gender roles, but otherwise a pretty obvious parallel to the sw Naboo Invasion) And its EXTRA interesting to me because in the sw universe, Naboo court regalia is canonically based off of ancient chinese imperial robes, with aspects of certain japanese and mongolian formalwear as well. AND most of the jedi philosophies are bastardized variations of asian iconography and medieval knights errant, so its fun to see that played out on screen and it lets me draw parallels wherever i want which is always a major plus.

(SIDENOTE: during the escape, her little bro is all decked out in black clothes with dark accersories for night camouflage etc etc while Lian shows up looking hella fine in hand embroidered white silk like. bitch??? u thought i’d downplay my aesthetic for my own HEALTH and SAFETY?anyways what a gift and if im being honest that moment alone made me go, shit, fuck, padme. love of my life.)

(she’s been running hard road for 2 days and just LOOK at her, jesus.) 

but back to the plot. 

While on the run from the SITH, I mean, the evil brother’s Black Guard, they happen to stumble into a cantina in the lower mountains, where they meet a drugged up, super smad Jakob pulling an Solo in the back of the bar. 

( HELP ME... JAKOB.... WHOEVER THE FUCK U ARE--)

The Black Guard then tries to take his LIGHTSABER, I mean, his special, holy, papal blessed broadsword, which ends up being a really bad move. (It's interesting how they play the scene as well: from under the brim of his hat, they make sure his eyes glow bright angry yellow in the reflection of the candles around the table. like. they switch angles and everything just so you’ll notice. It's all very Vader-esque. 

[MUFFLED ‘VADER’S THEME’ PLAYING IN THE DISTANCE]

Also immediately after this he pulls a Complete Anakin and flips a fucking table so people will pay attention to him, i love this boy, oh my god, he then proceeds to murder everybody in the bar, which is just. wildly satisfying.)

SIDENOTE: its important to acknowledge the fact that first time director Nick Powell is also a well known fight choreographer and has been a hardcore stuntman for most of his career, so the real highlights in this movie are the GLORIOUS action scenes. Honestly, the sword fights in this movie are some of the best ive ever seen onscreen. and Hayden is absolutely magnetic. 10/10 would recommend just for that alone.

ANOTHER SIDENOTE: Lian also knifes a dude in the neck here w/ her jeweled hairpin. So thats #neat

coincidentally, this also happens to be the moment where both Jakob and I fell in love. also #neat

(AND. this star wars concept art from ROTS and these shots of lian and jakob. discuss:)

(im the guy silently sweating in the back)

ANYWAY.

After witnessing Vader, I mean, Jakob, utterly destroy a full contingent of bad guys, Padme, I mean, LIAN, asks him to help get them to Xing Yuan, a city several days ride away that holds their father's army generals, who will support them and help them take back the throne. Jakob agrees, and then there's lots of exciting action sequences and Anakin and Padme falling in love (SIDENOTE: TRUE TO FORM, ANAKIN IS TERRIBLE @ FLIRTING IN LITERALLY ANY UNIVERSE. GOD BLESS.) 

BUT beyond that human disaster, this movie is so underrated. paralleling the sw plotline, the boy king gets his own little padawan training lessons, we get some crazy acrobatic swordfights here and there, they run into obi wan where he’s been hiding in the woods for a decade (#consistency) and its all very dramatic and on ridiculously shaky historical ground but who cares guys thats not why ur watching it in the first place. 

We all know why ur watching it in the first place.

the plot. you’re watching it for the plot. 

[winterscribe]

Alright. Gotta do it. been thinking about it for a few days. My shitty half plotted will never be written better than the trash we got sequel trilogy AU.

First ok, First. Don’t make Ben Solo go Dark ok. Like i get the original EU had one of Han and Leia’s 3 kids go dark but like. NO. OK. Just Imagine with me for a moment-

Ben Solo, Son of Leia Organa and Grandson of Anakin Skywalker, two of the most snarling rage filled people in the galaxy even if they took that rage and used it in polar opposite ways. Ben Solo who inherited that rage, that Skywalker fight with the Dark Side and Won. Maybe he’s a bit greyer than a traditional Jedi, greyer than his Uncle Luke who is a brilliant supernova of Light, Love an Compassion, but Ben didn’t fall. The love of his family, the support and compassion and understanding they give him keep him in the light and he is the Jedi his Grandfather could have been, the Jedi his Mother could have been. (Leia is afraid. Leia Hates. Tarkin and the Emperor are long dead but she still Hates the men that killed Alderaan. Leia met Darth Vader. Leia stood and watched her world burn with his hand on her shoulder. Leia doesn’t trust herself and so won’t let Luke train her because she’s afraid of Darth Vader and the hate inside her that makes him too easy to understand. But Ben never met Vader and so isn’t as afraid of what he could become.)

How much better would that have been ok? Like finally, finally a Skywalker filled with anger but tempered by compassion a Jedi who understands intimately the struggle with the dark yet has the strength and the support and the courage not to fall. Ben Solo could have been a great character damnit!

Ok and no don’t destroy the whole fucking New Republic damnit, the point of a sequel isn’t to destroy any progress and accomplishment in the original it’s to build on it mother fucker! And look what happened when they tried to draw out the “goodbye” to the legend’s of the Original Trio- Carrie died, and didn’t get the honor she deserved! Not to mention it doesn’t make sense. The first movie should have been about All Three of Them and it should have been about one last glory before they passed the damn torch!

Ok So, you have the First Order, this evil militia on the Outer Rim, desperate to bring back the Glory of the Empire. You have the New Republic, unconcerned with an Outer Rim threat (because since when did the Republic care about the Outer Rim) There’s too many core worlds that are still struggling to rebuild from the oppression of the Empire why should they bother wasting resources on something that doesn’t even pose a serious threat?

Ok, so the First Order wants to deal a crippling blow that will make the New Republic take them serious, devastate moral, and echo the victories of the great Empire right? So they target New Alderaan.

Backstory-

Leia is still in charge of the Resistance. The New Republic may not care but Leia knows intimately what a small determined military force can do. Let them slander her, call her a bloodthirsty tyrant like her father who won’t be satisfied until the whole galaxy follows her. She knows whats right. There are children being taken, villages being slaughtered, there is something Wrong and she will make it Right. Han and Luke right beside her Well figuratively - Han is gone a lot shaking down criminal contacts, undercover half the time because nobody expects someone so Scrufy looking to be an exahlted war hero. He’s trying to find the trail, trying to get her the proof she needs to make the Republic listen to her. and Luke-

Luke is busy running a New Order, and nearly half of his students were traumatized from life under the Empire. The younger ones are healthier but some of them were rescued from planets that are still not under the New Republic and a lot of those are traumatized too. Luke is a freeborn son of a slave, he’s never not going to be part of some freedom trail or another as long as there are still slavers. He and his knights were the first ones to cross paths with the First Order. The Knights of Ren are are a formidable group of dark siders and they like to snatch up force sensitives and twist them to the dark like the emperor did with his inquisitors. Luke and his knights cross blades with them a lot.

Main story-

Poe can still get caught, but this time the map he’s looking for is to Starkiller itself. or he gets caught talking to a spy who tells them about the planned attack on Alderaan idk but either way Poe is still caught and Finn still saves him and they still crash on Jakku and get still get Rey involved. The rest of the movie is about everyone coming together, Luke and Han and Leia and Ben Solo and Rey and Finn, the New Jedi Order, the Resistance and a band of Smugglers. But mostly a desperate plan to save New Alderaan and a last burst of glory for the OT. 

Once it’s over and New Alderaan is saved, the old guard finally has the proof they need. They use their political weight as war hero’s and go to shake the New Republic. Maybe Luke was seriously injured, and Leia and Han are tired. They keep fighting but there’s more than one way to fight and they’re getting to old to be on the front lines. They hand the front lines to Ben Solo, their hope and their Legacy. He turns to his right hand and best friend Poe Dameron and the two force sensitives he’s now devoted to.

Thats pretty much what I got, though I’m thinking a lot of the Knights of Ren are traumatized brainwashed kids and the New Order Knights help some of them back to the light (Mostly cuz I love the contrast between the Old Order and the New Order, between there is no path to redemption and there is always a path back) also Storm Trooper Rebellion. thats a big thing like the biggest thing. 

Just. there were so many ways to do the sequel trilogy better and i’m very upset ok.