#an evil wizard actually prevented me from posting yeah

[unfunnywastaken]

so its been a bit errmmm. anyways art !!

[iamnmbr3]

Great answers! I do love the idea of Sirius as DADA teacher!

Here's another one for you: rank these characters from worst to best for the post of Minister of Magic

Albus Dumbledore

Lucius Malfoy

Sirius Black (again cause I love him and I read a fic about this once)

Minerva McGonagall

Barty Crouch Sr.

oh god. these clowns would all be such terrible minsters of magic. why are you doing this to me? ok fine. here goes.

Lucius Malfoy: I think because movie!Lucius was sort of toned down and defanged fandom sometimes forget what a nasty piece of work book!Lucius was before he had his downfall and got all sad and pathetic. Fanon!Lucius often gets turned into kind of a joke but book!Lucius was out there torturing muggles for fun by night while he had the ear of the Minister by day and was, seemingly, extremely adept at subtly spreading his pureblood supremacist agenda in government. (Honestly, better at it than Tom because unlike Tom he actually cared). Also in book 4 it's very clear that if he had gotten hold of Hermione - a fourteen year old child - on the World Cup grounds he would've attacked her without hesitation (been eager for it, in fact). Yeah he wasn't down with Voldemort's whole thing but that was more because of the effect it had on him personally. with Voldemort out of the picture he was top dog and he was doing just fine. All this to say, as Minister the policies he enacts are...not good to say the least. He'd be out there building a violent pureblood supremacist dictatorship in a heartbeat.

Albus Dumbledore: Albus says he can't be trusted with the power of being Minister and honestly...I believe him. He'd still play the same messed up manipulation games he plays in canon but on a much larger scale (while simultaneously feeling bad about it and telling himself it's for the greater good). He does some truly epic mental gymnastics to convince himself he needs to make himself dictator for life and then things spiral because obviously anyone who resists him is evil right? Right? Of course! The alternative is that he is wrong and he doesn't want to think about that. Also, he doesn't seem that bothered by house elf slavery and his ideas for getting nonhuman magical creatures on his side in canon seemed to involve asking nicely but not actually granting them rights. So I'm not super optimistic on that front. So yeah. This just turns into the whole of wizarding Britain getting gaslit and thrown into insane situations by a madman who seems so wholesome and lovable and yet... Also. Given how poorly organized the Order is I think it's safe to say that all other flaws aside, the man does not have a gift for management.

Barty Crouch Sr.: Listen. He ALSO sucks. Very clearly ok with slavery, not a fan of due process, and allowed Aurors to torture confessions out of suspects. His only saving grace is that he does love rules so he'd probably eventually step down and wouldn't make as many potentially damaging changes as Dumbledore.

Minerva McGonagall: Her no nonsense attitude ensures that any meeting she runs actually accomplishes things. She's smart. She's sane. She's stable. She doesn't care about ending slavery or changing the status quo, but she's a lot better than most of the options. She's not especially creative or good at political games though which often hampers her ability to carry out objectives and prevent bad actors (i.e. Lucius and his faction) from getting their way.

Sirius Black: What does the man who hates authority do when he finds himself in a position of ultimate authority? I don't know but I'd love to read about it! Sirius is actually pretty shrewd (contrary to fanon) and I think he'd actually turn out to be a natural at handling politics (much as he might hate it). He also understands traditional pureblood society (he is a Black after all) but he doesn't idolize it (he hates being a Black) which would allow him to understand and work with multiple factions. Additionally he can be forceful and authoritative. He's impatient, often biased and unfair, sometimes quite cruel, can be temperamental, and again, has 0 problem with slavery. So like. He's not good per say, but he's actually better than some of the others. (At least with him meetings are never dull because if he gets bored enough he just turns into a dog and eats the agenda).

[thisisadecisionimayregret]

thanks for letting me know! though it’s a little unfortunate that seasons in hieron is very death existential / parental death heavy because that really might have to make me not listen to it? especially since those are HUGE triggers of mine, specifically death existentialism. though i deeply want to give this series a chance! i’d say i’d be able to push past it, but i’m not really sure.

may i then ask slightly what the plot is in these over-arching seasons? just to kinda get a feel for it and kinda be aware of what death related content may or may not be involved.

obviously feel free to detail as much or as little as you’d like, and no pressure to talk about ALL of them either, especially since it’s probably a LOT to recollect and explain.

anyways! just wanted to say that, but i would probably enjoy hearing most about the plot of seasons in hieron and sangfielle, just to let you know.

my apologies for sending so many asks, but thank you immensely for this! genuinely i cannot express this enough <3

Yeah no worries! And honestly I should thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about fatt, I love this show so much lol

(also i am on mobile rn and cannot remember how to add a read more so uh, I'll go back and add it in later, sorry for the long post)

So like. Seasons of Hieron are like, it's a post- post- apocalyptic fantasy world. The apocalypse happened, but enough time has passed that any details of the apocalypse/the world before has been largely forgotten. They play Dungeon World, which is a pretty cool game that is analogous in many ways to dnd, and there's a fairly typical fantasy party. You've got your paladin, your warrior, your druid, your wizard, your bard, etc (but the table friends put their own spins on all of these tropes — their conception of bards and "pattern magic" is fantastic, and they also reimagine a lot of stereotypical fantasy groups like orcs, removing a lot of the shitty undertones from the standard you see in dnd). There's gods (you may recognize SamSam from the divorced tournament, go vote for them lmfao). And the main parties are (at the start) going to find magical artifacts from pre-apocalypse times.

But the bigger story that is more fully introduced in Marielda, is about the fact that the world — more specifically, the god Samol, who is the world of Hieron — is dying, slowly, and no one knows how to save him (and by extension the world). His sons, Samot and Samothes, get divorced (messily) since they have different theories to the question of how to save Samol from the Heat and the Dark. iirc, Samol and the Heat and the Dark are very specifically inspired by Austin's experience of his grandfather dying of cancer, and he is not the only parental figure dying in the series.

The players in the seasons of Hieron get drawn into these larger events, trying to stop the destruction of their world from the heat and the dark, with varying amounts of success. Hieron more than the other seasons (imo) deal more explicitly and deeply with death and undeath as themes, so it's totally understandable if that's not something you're up to listening to. It can get really heavy.

Sangfielle takes place in a world where the center of the world is cursed and wild, and a great ringed city encases it to prevent that cursed area expanding. The season takes place within that cursed area, called Sangfielle, and it follows the Blackwick Group, who are a crew that handle weird and cursed things. The crew includes a human who is actually a bunch of bees, a person slowly transforming into a terrifying creature, a spirit (sorta) that is (consensually) possessing someone, a giant goat lady who fights trains (there are fucked up evil trains no one created that just appear in Sangfielle and can take ppl hostage), among others. There's capybara people, goat people, devils, ox people, communist seahorse people. The group are hired to deal with problems, i.e. a cursed/haunted house demanding sacrifices, or finding the egg sac of the dead Mother-beast god that went missing. Y'know. Normal stuff. This season is the one where things get gory and gross and unsettling, and I think they did a great job with it. There's death in this season, but the things that don't die are much worse.

fuck I am going into so much detail here, gonna try and be brief for the other seasons since those were the two you wanted more info on and also it's later than I thought it was and cha girl's got work in the morning lmao

Divine Cycle writ large is: what if we're in space and also we made giant machine gods. your favorite mecha anime that doesn't exist. giant robots!!!

counter/WEIGHT: "we could have made them look like anything but we made them look like us." let's go fight against capitalism!!! (I remember this season the least out of all of them ngl, but the characters are all so so amazing. what if han solo used to be beyonce)

Twilight Mirage: "we weren't building mirrors, we were setting fires" they're living in a declining utopia society, and things are falling apart. how do you take care of people & face what happens next

Road to Partizan: what happens in the 5000 years following the twilight mirage era, as an imperial power grows and conquers

Partizan: "do we bring our own gravity with us" fighting against empire, is it possible to avoid empire and imperialism, and can individuals do anything to fight back such a massive institution

Road to Palisade: 5 years between end of Partizan and start of Palisade

Palisade: sequel to Partizan, revolution babeyy

And there we are!! I feel like I can't do any of these seasons justice in my summaries lol, but I've done my best here

[pro-birth]

Childbirth in Kid Shows - Yea or Nay?

From a recent ko-fi donator and friend, @mk-wizard! Remember, anytime you donate, you can leave a request of what kind of post you would like to see from me. :)

“I have a question as a webcomic writer who is pro-life, pregnancy positive and a mother herself, do you agree with normalizing pregnancy and eventual birth in kids shows because it not only shows kids in a classy way where kids come from, but also that it's perfectly natural?”

TW: Abuse and rape mention five paragraphs down.

When I first read this request, I instantly remembered that one episode in Dexter’s Laboratory that was about Mandark’s origin story. His parents are the stereotypical hippies (as a comical contrast to his evil, dry, scientific nature), and they actually depicted his birth -- and a natural water free birth no less!

However, as much as I was happily surprised by that scene, it was still a comical moment. And that’s the main issue with how birth is depicted in media: either’s it’s a scary, dramatic emergency, or it’s comic relief. It’s almost never something... well, normal.

I find this even in fiction that seeks to hold up the skills and aptitude of female characters. For example, in her The Dalriada Trilogy, Jules Watson has made her character, Rhiann, a well respected priestess-princess, which includes her being skilled in herbalism and midwifery. I only read two of her trilogy books, but in both of them, the main event births depicted are ALWAYS AN EMERGENCY!!! While Rhiann has her skillset on display, and I appreciate the research that Watson put into it, it falls trap to the typical “childbirth peril for added drama” trope. I’ve seen it soooo much, it’s sickening by now.

But with these media displays of the midwife, healer, or doctor saving the day, that makes me think: what about the mother? Doesn’t she get to shine? It is often shared by many birth professionals that the mother and baby do most of the work during labor, the professional is just there to support them and only step in for handling complications.

In the movie The Clan of the Cave Bear, I believe there is an example of the mother getting the spotlight. The main character Ayla is outcasted by her tribe for wielding a weapon during the end of her pregnancy. The punishment was basically a death sentence, as no one banished before would survive it. As testament to Ayla’s courage, strength, and resourcefulness, she gives birth and survives alone, returning to the tribe after the winter with her son. I admit that this birth scene was pretty nice, but the movie also portrays her getting raped and abused repeatedly, so....yeah. This movie came out in the 80s and was very loosely, very badly, based on a novel of the same name, where Ayla was not raped at all. The birth is overshadowed by misogynistic BS and the birth itself still occurs during abuse (her banishment). Not the greatest example we have.

Of course, this is all adult media. What about children’s media? Other than a few positive pregnancy examples -- such as Chicha in The Emperor’s New Groove -- I can’t really think of other examples of children’s entertainment showcasing birth. Like in Dexter’s Laboratory, it is either a comical moment or something that happens in the background.

So, would I like to see a birth in a children’s show or movie? Sure! I believe it can be done tastefully. It’s been done in a few children’s books on homebirth, I don’t see how a moving picture would change that. Plus, children around the world and throughout history have witnessed their mothers birth firsthand. Not all do or wish to, but it’s proof enough that a less “graphic” portrayal of birth is not at all inappropriate.

But, we have to be careful about it. Whether the birth is surgical, at home, in the woods, whatever: the birth should be portrayed in a way that is understood by the maturity level of the intended audience and is also set up as a normal event. Mandark’s birth scene is well done, since we don’t see any actual nakedness, but we clearly see his mother birthing in a calm, safe environment while being supported by her husband. Imagine that scene in an animated children’s movie or show, where it’s presented as the introduction of a new character or showcases the life progression of the mother/family. 

Our media is fraught with shows and movie scenes that dramatize and negatively portray birth, oftentimes at the expense of a female character’s life or dignity. And no, “bad things can happen during birth!” is not a good enough excuse for this. It not only normalizes injustices that women face from a discriminatory medical system when it comes to perinatal care, but it prevents true diversity and creativity from shining through in unique scenes. Birth could be dangerous, but it can be empowering and amazing too. Hell, it can just be normal. Every woman’s journey through birth is different, and introducing a calmer concept to that in children’s media -- or any media -- is severely underappreciated. 

Female biology is already mocked and derided as comical relief (periods, menopause, etc) in media, we can help overturn that by normalizing it for the next generation by showcasing a literal real life miracle: childbirth. It’s worth exploring and supporting, if just to show that it’s possible, and that there are other ways to showcase birth.

After all, if we want our kids to grow up understanding consent, healthy self-esteem, and taking care of our bodies, then it is only good that we showcase their entry into life in a way that supports pregnancy as natural and normal.

[minettestan]

Do you have a tag for games you recommend? I'm always looking for new games and my experience with point and click or 90s computer games is sorely lacking.

💕My favorite question💕 I took one of my old posts and updated it, so here!

💕 Personal Favorite

💀 Scary Content

👧 Female Protagonist

✨ Important to the genre’s history

📚 Tricky for new players, look up controls or a walkthrough to get started

❕  Difficult

👿 Potential insensitive content

The Colonel’s Bequest (1989) $5.99 💕✨👧💀❕📚

“It is the year 1925, and the roaring '20s are well underway. As Laura Bow, young college student, you've been invited to visit the Colonel's isolated estate. Watch as the Colonel announces his intention to bequeath his millions to all present!”

The classic Sierra murder mystery game, developed by the mother of the genre Roberta Williams. Laura Bow is a sorely overlooked female protagonist. The game works by navigating Laura and typing in commands, kinda of tricky at first. Tons of game overs are a hallmark of a Sierra adventure game so save often! If you play the GOG.com version you get the benefit of autosaves. This game runs a timer, the events of the night will unfold with or without you so stay on your toes and keep moving! The game can be found for free here, but imo the $5.99 is worth it for the easy of access.

The Dagger of Amon-Ra (1992) $5.99 👧✨❕📚👿💀

“Laura Bow, intrepid heroine of The Colonel's Bequest, is back! This time she's trapped in a huge, imposing museum in the dead of night, surrounded by socialites, miscreants, thieves...and a cold, relentless murderer.“

Roberta Williams is back! Iconic game, iconic heroine. It’s still a Sierra game so like TCB there are tons of (iconic) game overs, so save often. Solving puzzles in this one gives me a great serotonin rush. Unfortunately, this game has some racism issues, particularly with the characters Lo Fat and Ramses. While an important game in the genre take it with a huge grain of salt and maybe turn of the (kind of awful) voice acting and enable text-only mode and you’ll avoid some awful accents.

Sam & Max: Hit the Road (1993) $5.99 💕✨

“Sam (a canine shamus) and Max (a hyperkinetic rabbity thing) are hot on the trail of a runaway carnival bigfoot across America’s quirky underbelly in this deranged animated adventure!“

Sam & Max are truly my favorite characters in all of fiction. I have the box art to this game as my phone case. I have Sam & Max action figures, a plush Max on my bed, a print edition of Sam & Max Freeland Police Special #1 framed on my wall. From comics, to games, to cartoons I love these guys. Sam & Max: Hit the Road is a classic of the Lucasarts adventure games. That being said, it’s the least user-friendly of the Sam & Max adventure games and the slowest. I still love it to bits and it’s important to the genre’s history imo.  

Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers (1993) $5.99 💕💀👿

“The adventure of Gabriel Knight starts with gathering materials for his new book, and ends up becoming a fight for his very soul. He must now face countless dangers in New Orleans, Africa and Germany, each bringing him ever closer to unraveling the mystery behind suspicious voodoo murders. Haunted by nightmares, he won't give up until he reveals the truth. “

Another Sierra game directed by a woman, Jane Jenson. Gabriel Knight, voiced by Tim Curry, is one of my favorite adventure game protagonists of all time. This game is scary and gory so enter at your own risk! I love the gameplay in this one, I love the narrator, I love the puzzles. But it seems Sierra games have some problems with the representation of minorities. The game is set in New Orleans and focuses on a voodoo cult. Which means consequently the game's major antagonists are all black. Unlike the Dagger of Amon Ra, Sins of the Fathers actually employed black actors to play black characters. There’s a lot to be said about the ways in which white media demonizes voodoo and those who practice it. If you play this one, remain critical. And for the love of god, don’t play the 20th anniversary version.

Day of the Tentacle: Remastered (1993/2016) $14.99 ✨👧❕

“Originally released by LucasArts in 1993 as a sequel to Ron Gilbert’s ground breaking Maniac Mansion, Day of the Tentacle is a mind-bending, time travel, cartoon puzzle adventure game in which three unlikely friends work together to prevent an evil mutated purple tentacle from taking over the world!“

Another classic LucasArts game! This was the first game co-headed by Tim Schaffer who would go on to make the outstanding Grim Fandango! This one is exceedingly wacky and the remastered version has made it more user-friendly than ever.

Toonstruck (1996) $9.99 💕

“Drew Blanc is a cartoon animator and the original creator of the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show.. Drew's boss, Sam Schmaltz, sets him the task of designing more bunnies to co-star in the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show by the next morning. However, the depressed animator soon nods off, suffering from acute artist's block. He wakes early the next morning to inexplicably find his television switched on, announcing the Fluffy Fluffy Bun Bun Show. Suddenly, Drew is mysteriously drawn into the television screen and transported to an idyllic two-dimensional cartoon world populated by his own creations, among many other cartoon characters.“

If you’re a fan of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? you’ll love this. Christopher Lloyd is Drew Blanc (ha) trying to save a cartoon world through inventory item puzzles. Truly wacky, zany, and ani-mainy. I played Toontown as a kid so I’m predisposed to like this one. This is also the only game with Full Motion Video I’m putting on the list because FMV games can be an acquired taste.

Grim Fandango (1996/2015) $14.99 💕✨

“Something's rotten in the land of the dead, and you're being played for a sucker. Meet Manny Calavera, travel agent at the Department of Death. He sells luxury packages to souls on their four-year journey to eternal rest. But there's trouble in paradise. Help Manny untangle himself from a conspiracy that threatens his very salvation.“

Yesssssssss! I LOVE Grim Fandango! The iconic game directed by Tim Schaffer has received the best remaster I’ve seen a point n’ click receive. I cannot recommend Grim Fandango enough! Stick with it through the forest section, trust me.

The Last Express (1997) $5.99 ❕ 📚

“Paris, 1914. The world is on the brink of war and this train could push it over the edge. You are Robert Cath, a young American urgently summoned by your old friend Tyler Whitney to join him aboard the Paris-Constantinople express, departing from the Gare de l'Est on July 24th. Arriving late, you discover something has gone terribly wrong. Now you must untangle a complex web of political intrigue, suspense, romance, and betrayal. Every move you make could bring you closer to the truth or your own demise. Bon voyage! “

Ooooh I love a murder on a train! This game features rotoscope animation, which I love. Like The Colonel’s Bequest this game runs in real time, meaning the events of the game will unfold with or without you, depending on where you are at what time you’ll receive different information or see/miss different events. Very replayable with several different outcomes.

Sam & Max Save the World (Remastered) $19.99 💕

“ Sam is a six-foot canine detective with a love of justice. Max is a hyperkinetic rabbity-thing with a taste for mayhem. Together, they're the Freelance Police. And they're about to save the world.”

Sam & Max Save the World, originally released in episodes from 2006-2008 has been remastered and looks AMAZING! After LucasArts was shut down their game devs formed Tell Tale Games and produced three seasons of Sam & Max sequel games, all of which are great. But TellTale was shut down (and screwed over their employees) in 2018. Since then some of their devs have formed Skunkape Games and are currently remastering all of Tell Tale’s Sam & Max series (I’m thrilled). They’ve also adjusted some aspects of the game to make the game more inclusive and less **offensive. So imo it’s worth it to wait for the release of the other seasons to experience Sam & Max in pristine condition. Save the World is the only season out now, but you can get the non-remastered versions of Beyond Time and Space, and In The Devil’s Playhouse, here and here.

 **I should note the “offensive” material in the original is not as egregious as say, The Dagger of Amon-Ra, but it’s just a nice change to see especially in a game I hold dear.

Emerald City Confidential (2009) $9.99 👧

“Explore the underbelly of Oz as Emerald City's most cunning detective! As Petra, you'll be lured deep into mysteries involving new foes and familiar faces; Scarecrow, Lion, and Toto included! This is Oz as you've never seen it before! Solve the mystery and unravel a conspiracy of magic and intrigue! Follow a case through five chapters full of puzzles, witnesses, suspects, and allies in this twist on a timeless classic! “

We’re moving out of the 1990s now. Emerald City Confidential is the Wizard of Oz meets film noir. I played this as 13 year old and have revisited it as an adult and I still eat it up. Wadjet Eye makes consistently good adventure games so check this one out!

The Blackwell Series (2006) $14.99 💕👧

“Meet Rosangela Blackwell, an embittered writer who just found out that she is a medium and that it’s her mission, whether she likes it or not, to assist tormented spirits and investigate other supernatural goings-on. She is assisted by the sardonic Joey Mallone, a ghost from the 1930s.”

Another Wadjet Eye game! I’ve seen these games recommended amoungst the Clue Crew before and I’ll just throw my own endorsement on the pile. Yeah I’m in love with Joey Mallone. What about it?

The Charnel House Trilogy (2015) $5.99 👧💀

“Witness The Charnel House Trilogy, the chronicle of one fateful night aboard a train bound for Augur Peak. Three thrilling, horrifying adventure games in one, from the depths of the Sepulchre.”

Plays like Blackwell, has a Blackwell reference at the beginning, okay you got me. This is a good, if kinda short, game. It’s very creepy, involves murder and has some gore/violence so watch out! I’m still waiting on the sequel Owl Cave!

Thimbleweed Park (2017) $19.99 👧

“A haunted hotel, an abandoned circus, a burnt-out pillow factory, a dead body pixelating under the bridge, toilets that run on vacuum tubes... you’ve never visited a place like this before.“

Made by Ron Gilbert and  Gary Winnick the creators of the classic games Maniac Mansion and Monkey Island Thimbleweed Park is a love letter to the classics of the point and click adventure genre. Features 5 different playable characters, ala Maniac Mansion, who and how many you play is up to you! This one also has stand alone DLCs!

Unavowed (2018) $14.99 👧

“ A demon possessed you one year ago. Since that day, you unwillingly tore a trail of bloodshed through New York City. Your salvation comes in the form of the Unavowed – an ancient society dedicated to stopping evil.”

Okay I haven’t actually played this one, but I want to. Its a Wadjet Eye so you know it’s good. From the reviews I’ve seen this is the Blackwell Series meets Dragon Age. A point and click that incorporates RPG elements, I love that.

I also have a love of the more, strange, and unusual adventure games that I can't necessarily recommend with good conscience. So if you want bizarre 90s and early 2000s games of dubious quality hit me up.

[teamdoesminecraft]

Everything about the pokemon au is perfect... is there lore???

oh you know me of COURSE there’s lore

It’s all kind of tangled together and hard to explain right now, so this post is gonna be a little less narratively-written and a little more expository. but as always, shoutout to @crystalfloe​ for being my partner in crime in developing this!

Some of the Ninetales dex entries say that it “came into being when nine wizards merged into one.” Naturally, we took this and ran with it: you know how illusioners are a sort of “secret mob” in Minecraft that were never actually implemented? Hundreds of years ago, in this lore, nine illusioners (possibly the last of their kind) met together in secret to preserve themselves. After a lengthy process of spellcasting, all of them gave up their physical forms and agency to create a new, pokemon spellcaster: Seto. Seto is his own person, not a conglomerate of nine, and he never really feels that he’s not; sometimes, though, when he argues with himself, it feels like there’s nine voices in his head all with different opinions. Being based on a kitsune and also having access to magic and curses in this AU still, he can shapeshift/illusion himself into a nearly human form-- he can’t/won’t get rid of the tails though, ever.

In these hundreds of years ago, Seto did some travelling, and his illager background eventually brought him to a wooden mansion. He lived there for a while, learning new magic under an evoker, and developing a gradual distaste for most other “humans” because of everything negative the illagers had to say about it. One lone adventurer, though, as they always do, stumbled upon the mansion, and found their way inside. Many illagers were asleep at this point in the night, but Seto wasn’t; he was the one who “greeted” the intruder firsthand. Said intruder wasn’t the nicest person either; they lashed out and tried to grab Seto’s tail to hold him down in a fight.

More Ninetales dex entries will tell you that “grabbing one of its tails will result in a 1,000-year curse on you and your descendants.”

Said adventurer lived and died uneventfully after that, but their descendants bore the burden. Sneaking around at night, looking to steal from illagers, and digging their way through the frostbitten winter woods, the family line was cursed with Weavile aspects; the original adventurer was doomed to slowly become one, even losing their mind in the body. Their bloodline wasn’t quite as unfortunate, but became a version of werewolf; were-weaviles, technically. Looking at too much moonlight at any one time causes them to transform and be mentally “replaced” by a far more animalistic version of themselves.

That’s why SSundee wears his glasses; they block out any excess moonlight. Of course, on the full moon, he has no choice but to close every curtain, because at that point there’s just too much to avoid. SSundee lives a rather quiet life, running a pastry shop in a no-name village, keeping his transformations to a minimum. He somehow inherited the original map that led to the mansion in the first place; he keeps ahold of it just as a reminder to not go there, ever.

SSundee’s got a friend, though, who’s willing to do anything for easy money.

Husky took the map, and ignoring SSun’s protests as just standard-SSun-paranoia, went to find the mansion to dig up any potential treasure there. Once inside, he was pursued by illagers, and fell between the walls; in the darkness, he reached for what he thought was a rope. It wasn’t, of course, and Seto had a whole new curse to lay. Husky had never been a fan of rain, surfing, or even baths as much as showers; Seto thought it would be the funniest thing to ruin the experience for him even more. (do I really gotta specify what pokemon Husky is) Husky’s started down the path of slow transformation, with an extra wrench in the formula; if any part of him gets touched by water, that part takes on more kip-like traits until he dries it. He found out while using SSun’s shower, and blamed it on him like it was some sort of shitty prank; when SSun wasn’t open about what he thought happened, Husky threw the door open.

It was a full moon that night (because of course) and Husky was terrified for a short while (because of course), running as far as he could. SSun, before he lost it, was even more terrified, because as far as he knew Weavile were nothing but predators; he doesn’t know much about Weavile, though, and what he neglected to learn was that Weavile are pack bonders, and that he had already built up a strong friendship with Husky. In summary, Husky spent that night trying to avoid being force-fed dead sandshrew by this terrifying demonic weavile that was also still somehow the mom friend.

BACK TO SETO, he has 1 (one) friend who isn’t an illager: a fellow troublemaking fox. Lox is a lonesome zorua who somehow wormed his way into the mansion (because doesn’t everyone eventually) and learned how to control his illusions by watching Seto in secret. Lox uses these illusions, generally, to fuck with people; it doesn’t help that Seto finds it absolutely hilarious. Eventually, Lox learned to create his own individual human form to cast, and learned sign language; he set out on his own just to explore, planning to find more people to mess with. Lox eventually discovered a small cottage in the woods, and was ready to just completely ruin this person’s day by unveiling that Deep Pokemon Magic--

--but True was, unfortunately, already a pokemon fanatic.

Even disregarding Tepig and Zubat, True tends to a bazillion wild pokemon, all the time, constantly. He’s invested in learning everything he can (scientifically) about how they work, especially their ties back to humans. (True is, in this AU, the one person who would be 1000% on board with being part pokemon, and also the one person who never will be.) When Lox tried to mess with him by impersonating people, True immediately recognized him as a Zorua, and tugged him inside for interrogation. True was relentless in his efforts to understand, poring over books, tests, and learning sign language to communicate with Lox better. Lox eventually mentioned that he didn’t want to be pinned down to one location, and didn’t plan on living forever in True’s little house; True realized this, of course, and waved him off, saying Lox was free to go wherever he wanted. Once away, Lox realized that though he liked the outside, he had enjoyed his time with True almost just as much; now Lox looks for any excuse he has to come back, and pops in from time to time for no reason.

One big excuse to come back, of course, is discovering another human-pokemon anomaly; when Lox saw a man with golden horns quietly using telekinesis to steal a lunch in a market square, he intercepted him and led him all the way back to the cottage. Sky was, understandably, confused and a little distressed; eventually after True sat him down they were able to have an actual conversation.

Sky’s history is (surprise surprise) Mary-Sueish. He’s a shiny hoopa (the only hoopa, so technically nobody knows he’s shiny?), and in this world, all legendaries have the ability to form-shift between pokemon and human. He was created by two other legends-- Notch (Arceus) and Herobrine (Giratina) to assist in preserving/expanding/helping the world. They both act as sort of guides for him in this AU, with neither really being evil or omnipotent. After creating Sky, they realized that while he was powerful, he had no experience in the world; they set him in a mostly-human form and instructed him to travel the world, meeting new people, and understand how humans and pokemon interacted and got along. They also, via a certain amount of magic, prevented him from saying what he or his history was; they didn’t want anyone finding out about the legendary child and trying to kidnap/control him. One notable ability of Sky’s is wish-granting; Hoopa being based on a djinn, we had to give him the magical bullshit. He can only grant one a day, though, in total, and he has plenty of restrictions on them-- no time travel, changing things that already happened, etc, etc. 

While Sky couldn’t tell True any of his actual history, True has been helping him learn more about his abilities and is 100% willing to travel with him anywhere to learn more about him.

SPEAKING OF NOTCH ARCEUS did you know he had a bastard son?? And that son was Xephos? YEAH THATS RIGHT TC/YOGS CROSSOVER AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT

Respawning doesn’t exist in this AU, so the yoglabs complex serves a real purpose via the cloning machines. Xephos doesn’t actually know he has any Arceus genes in him; they’re locked away and not apparent at all. That’s not why we’re looking at yoglabs right now, though: we’re here for Bajan.

Backtracking once again, Bajan grew up in a relatively decent-sized village, watching Wizard of Oz (Poke-Oz?) and absolutely loving the Infernape character. When he was about eight, his village was raided by pillagers; he had to run, as fast and as far as he could. Eventually he stumbled into the mountains, and up to Xephos and Honeydew, who were conducting a relatively boring test compared to normal, and YES i’m saying that Bajan’s gay dads are from the yogscast, nothing matters anymore

Bajan was adopted into the compound and was a very curious and energetic child. So curious and energetic, in fact, that he stole a transformation talisman and used it without calibrating it first; he passed out and was given two weeks to live, with his human DNA in constant conflict with the over-abundance of non-specified Pokemon DNA. Not wanting to support child murder, Xephos developed a particular method that he severely hoped would prevent Bajan from dying; he had Bajan pulled out of his safety-fluid-tank for a few hours so he and Dew could talk to him. They explained the procedure and asked if he had any requests-- Bajan still loved Infernape, so that was the first thing out of his mouth.

In the experiment, of course, they had to use Chimchar DNA to more closely match Bajan’s youth, but the procedure worked; he was given a very specifically calculated transformation talisman to wear to prevent him from becoming unstable again. (He was a little miffed that he had been given the “baby” form, but hey, what could you do.) Bajan lived for the next few years as a poke-human hybrid in the labs, generally being a good, if destructive, kid, practicing his firey abilities. On his birthday, he committed a small act of mischief; he lied to Dew and was able to go outside the labs for the first time since he got there.

Bajan fucken loved the outdoors, because who wouldn’t, and went running around way past his curfew before he got lost. While lost, he stumbled upon an absol-- Jerome had been on the run for as long as he could remember, because of the human superstition of absols causing natural disasters. After enough poking and prodding, Jerome eventually agreed to lead Bajan back to the vault door; on the way back, he locked up and refused to move. Bajan followed his gaze and realized that Jerome had sensed an avalanche before it could even begin-- there was no way they were going to outrun it. Bajan positioned himself between the oncoming snow and his new friend, and put every effort he could think of into spitting out the most powerful flamethrower he ever would--

--and he evolved. Bajan had never realized he could evolve before, and spent the next five minutes in complete and utter glee before yanking Jerome back to the labs to show off his new form and his new friend. The yogs weren’t as excited as he was to bring an absol into a place prone to nuclear disaster; he was grounded for lying, staying out past curfew, and the aforementioned absol-napping; Xephos took a mild amount of pity on Jerome, though, and agreed to test whether or not he was actually the cause of natural disasters. Eventually, when nothing really proved that he was, Jerome was allowed to talk to Bajan again-- at which point Jerome asked Bajan to translate his request to the yogs. 

Jerome had lived his life being unable to enter human society, even as a pet, because of the superstition around absol; seeing Bajan, a healthy and happy human-pokemon hybrid, had give him an idea. As Bajan translated, Jerome himself wanted to be a hybrid, so he could talk and interact with people. Xephos, though skeptical, was never one to turn down a scientific opportunity, and eventually was able to complete the procedure. Armed with a new half-human friend, a newly evolved form, and an advanced understanding of maturity, Bajan approached both Xephos and Dew one night with a request: he wanted to go outside the labs, with Jerome, and explore the world on his own to participate in battles. Eventually, they conceded; Bajan was abso-fucking-lutely ecstatic, and so was Jerome, to be travelling with someone for the first time ever. They currently roam the world as a duo, picking fights and having fun.

The entire team will eventually meet up, either through Sky’s wish-granting, Bajan and Jerome’s roaming, or Lox’s people-hunting; maybe a combination of all three. From then on they can travel the world together, working hand-in-hand to discover new things about each other and help one another as some of the only of their kind in this world.

Xephos, however, still sits in the labs, working on understanding pokemon in a much less communication-based way than True. Every time he re-clones himself, some piece gets lost, sending his mind into a darker spiral... it’s only a matter of time before he discovers his locked Arceus genes, and uses them in a way he definitely never should have.

[hiddenhogwarts]

From the anon who offered links on why using Lupin’s lycanthropy as an allegory for HIV just doesn’t hold up and in fact perpetuates homophobia (I’ll just post a small snippet of each, but all are worth the read):

https://www.newstatesman.com/culture/books/2016/09/remus-lupin-and-stigmatised-illness-why-lycanthropy-not-good-metaphor-hivaids <-- This one’s SO GOOD, read it if none of the others. Very eloquent in pointing out the problems with Rowling’s claim.

Even if Greyback is meant to be a warning about how discrimination can be damaging – the lack of humanity here, and his desire to “recruit” the “normal” into his abnormal community, especially young people, has rhetorical parallels with homophobic , heterosexual fears of the “conversion” of their straight children by perverted older gay men.

But if Greyback is pictured as the worst of werewolves, he is by no means alone. Throughout the series, werewolves are constantly associated with darkness, supporting Voldemort as a community. On Pottermore, Rowling describes werewolves as follows:

While in his or her wolfish form, the werewolf loses entirely its human sense of right or wrong. However, it is incorrect to state (as some authorities have, notably Professor Emerett Picardy in his book Lupine Lawlessness: Why Lycanthropes Don’t Deserve to Live) that they suffer from a permanent loss of moral sense. While human, the werewolf may be as good or kind as the next person. Alternatively, they may be dangerous even while human, as in the case of Fenrir Greyback, who attempts to bite and maim as a man and keeps his nails sharpened into claw-like points for the purpose.

[…]

Genuine wolves are not very aggressive, and the vast number of folk tales representing them as mindless predators are now believed by wizarding authorities to refer to werewolves, not true wolves. A wolf is unlikely to attack a human except under exceptional circumstances. The werewolf, however, targets humans almost exclusively and poses very little danger to any other creature.

By Rowling’s own definitions, it seems like people are right to fear werewolves. They are depicted as inherently more aggressive, more prone to violence, and less human as a result of their condition. They “target” other humans, can lose their sense of their morals, and turn against anyone who does not share their illness. Using them as a metaphor for people with HIV and AIDS is not a progressive move. It seems, at best, woefully ill-considered. At worst, it parrots our society’s most discriminatory fears of stigmatised illnesses.

http://www.thebody.com/content/78333/dear-jk-rowling-being-a-werewolf-not-like-hiv.html

That's bad enough, but things get worse when you consider how lycanthropy itself is portrayed: It's a blood-borne illness, passed mostly via biting. Lupin describes himself as a monster. The human beings who become werewolves have to be isolated (such as in the Shrieking Shack) to prevent transmitting their condition. There's no cure for it, and it turns people into mindless, dangerous killers who can't help but pass their condition on to others.

In other words: HIV-via-lycanthropy is dangerous, and so are the people living with it.

While it's easy to say that the way people react to Lupin's lycanthropy is wrong (after all, he's a good man and a good teacher; he doesn't deserve to be shunned, and Harry and his friends stick by him), the fact is, it does turn him into an uncontrollable killer who needs to be isolated for everyone's protection. Given that through the '80s and into the '90s there were actual calls to round up and isolate actual people living with HIV, using that as the solution to prevent metaphorical HIV is extremely upsetting.

And oh yeah: People living with HIV have myriad ways to prevent passing it on to others, so writing a metaphor where people can't prevent transmission is, in and of itself, stigmatizing. (And by the way, you can't get HIV through biting.)

https://www.salon.com/2016/09/12/j-k-rowlings-allegory-fail-werewolves-are-not-a-useful-metaphor-for-hivaids/

Making a monster who can maintain some control of his monstrosity does little to address stigma and in fact does much to create and protect it. That Lupin is a danger to others could not more clearly support an attitude of justifiable fear toward him, one that is an abject disservice to those actually struggling with a disease that does not make them feral with rage. In this way Rowling’s metaphor attacks itself in the ironic fashion of her character, who is a danger to those close to him during his transformed periods.

This metaphor is obvious enough in the telling so as to be apparent to some on a first read. But the allegory’s availability is not actually the news here to me; it’s that Rowling did not draw from the experience of the very specific stigma she mentions in order to raise some cogent awareness.

Instead, the intended metaphor very simply renders stigma itself on the page in Lupin’s isolation and shame. The metaphor does not fully or cleanly transpose; allegory is not created because there is no accessible narrative intent, no symbols through which to see it. Because it fails to clearly articulate how the ubiquitously evil werewolves operate or the implications of the circumstances of transmission, and lacks clarity about the meaning of werewolf transformation and the advanced stages of an illness, it is essentially inoperative. And when only stigma is left on the page, there is only stigma to see.

[thebookiemonster14]

a rant on ‘coming out’ arcs

okay i’ve just seen some meta about the absence of a “coming out” arc for a character in a certain fantasy series that i will not name, and the way it was worded just pissed me off honestly

i’ve written about this before HERE but i thought i’d elaborate in an angrier, more personal fashion

you do not understand how much absolute shitty lgbt ya i read between the ages of 13-15. most of it was focused on oh, how tragic it was that the character was gay and all of the tragic stuff that happened to them, like, oh, i don’t know, bullying and homophobia in the family and getting beaten up and attempting suicide.

y’know. all the kind of stuff an lgbt teen might actually go through. it’s stuff that some of my lgbt friends did go through.

i don’t want to relive that when i read.

i read to escape. to step into a magical world where all of the rules can be broken. rules of magic, rules of creation, and rules of society. namely, the rule of society that states it has to be a big deal that people are lgbt.

in the meta about ‘coming out arcs,’ it stated some very valid points about the problems this particular series had with its lgbt rep, and i accept that. but when it criticised the fact that one particular lgbt character didn’t have a massive arc in realising and coming to terms with their sexuality, i fundamentally disagreed. honestly, i would not have wanted to read five extra chapters about this character going....oh no......i have a crush on someone of the same gender......oh god what do i do???? oh yeah and there’s also a demon trying to kill me. like jesus christ, for one thing, i think characters, particularly in fantasy, have bigger things to worry about than who they, and other people, want to make out with.

and the other big thing is that i, at least, read fantasy books in particular to see rules broken. for god’s sake, if you can have a dragon or an annual death games, you can have a society that doesn’t care if two men or two women want to kiss each other. even in real-world fantasy, there’s no requirement to include a dramatic homophobia storyline when someone else in the group is being killed by evil wizards at the same time.

the first time i really found a book that didn’t have an lgbt character in a fantasy world that still had their main storyline arc over how they were coping with being gay, (yes, i’m looking at you, mortal instruments,) was carry on by rainbow rowell, and there was a reason that it actually kickstarted this blog and my foray into good books. yeah, simon discovers he’s bisexual (or queer, but that’s a whole other debate.) he’s also trying to stop the wizarding world from crumbling around him and preventing some monster from eating all of the magic. baz is in love with his presumed-straight roommate, but he’s also a vampire who’s dealing with the fact that his mother spent her whole life destroying vampires. also he gets kidnapped. by numpties. it just really showed in carry on more than anything i’d read before that you could have gay characters without it being necessarily a 100% gay book.

when i myself write, i make a personal choice to never ever write scenes where characters **discover** their sexuality and then do a big dramatic reveal to their friends about it, because i have better things to write about. namely: murder. yeah, it may not be realistic to have a story where two 16th century lords can rule a castle together and live happily ever after, maybe it’s not true to what it would have been like at the time, but is that not why we read? to escape mundane realism?

i’m not saying it’s wrong to ever include a coming out arc. i’m not saying it’s wrong that the narrative may require it, or you’re engineering the setting and the plot to make the book about that. an example of a book that does this well is release by patrick ness. this post is about when certain authors seem to think it’s required that every single lgbt character in every single setting, real-life or not, goes through the same torturous arc of struggle before they can be happy. we shouldn’t have to struggle.

break all the rules of society when you write. throw them in the bin and create your own - don’t feel like you have to force your characters through what you yourself were forced through. fiction is goddamn fiction for a reason.

(end note 1: i can understand if other people have a different opinion, and i understand if some people openly disagree. this is just my take on it, that’s all, and i wanted to get my feelings down somewhere

end note 2: i won’t reply to anyone starting a fight against this post because i am terrified of confrontation)

[thepinkseat-askthemoonbunny]

My responses to some Dumbledore hating douche on another forum. His comments and the comments of the Dumbledore fan he was replying to are in bold, mine are in italics. I added on some things to my responses as I was typing from here, but it’s mostly copied from my reply on that other forum. Y’all, this guy’s quotes about Dumbledore literally pissed me off so much I couldn’t let it slide bro, I just couldn’t. Now this isn’t all of that person’s post but it is everything I responded to. WARNING, SUPER LONG POST!

Dumbledore made it quite clear that Harry was to grow up without magic.

He had no legal or moral authority to make that decision. Magic was part of Harry's heritage and DD had no right to keep it from him (or any other magical).

He didn’t keep it from him though, he found out when he was eleven like any other Muggle-born. Anyway it’s GOOD Harry didn’t know or we’d have an Obscurial on our hands. And here we go, talking about morals again

.He stressed how important it was to keep Harry away from magic and shield him from the fame that he would have received.

Didn't do much good now did it. He still received a ton of fame (even is Surrey, as evidenced by the wizard to bowed to him in a shop) and was ill prepared to deal with it because he spent his formative years in Durzkaban. Placing him with a good wizarding family would have helped him deal with his fame.

Yeah, and placing him with a “good wizarding family” would’ve helped Harry’s ass DIE a lot quicker too. Durzkaban? Who came up with that.

There were good intentions behind dropping him off at the Dursley's doorstep.

If you believe that, you'll believe any line of bull. DD was conditioning his child soldier cum martyr by keeping him isolated, unloved, and actively abused. That way he wouldn't form deep attachments that would prevent him from eating an AK on command.

Congratulations DD, you're an ISIS/cult leader.

NO THE FUCK HE ISN’T! AND THIS THEORY NEEDS TO DIE!  We have literally no evidence to support this, none at all. We have no evidence to prove that Dumbledore wanted Harry to be abused. However, we DO have ample evidence that the blood protection exists, Quirrellmort, Voldemort taking his blood, the protection shielding everyone during the Battle, and not to mention Harry coming back to life. And no deep attachments, honestly? Sirius, Remus, Hermione, Ron, Ginny, the Weasley family. Need I go on? Anyway that would be dumb because Harry knows who put him at the Dursleys. He could've hated Dumbledore just as easily.

And I think you misread my post, I never said there were no negative effects on Harry, because of course there are. I was merely making a point that the Dursley's treatment really helped prepare him for the next five years of isolation and cruelty. You can't deny that.

I can and do deny that. Aside from it being morally wrong and criminal to knowingly place a child in an abusive environment, it was abysmally stuipid. Voldemort grew up in almost the same sort of environment (thanks to DD at that) and look how he turned out. Dumb-as-a-door risked creating another Dark Lord rather than a Savior/martyr

Now I do deny that abuse=preparation. But everything else, hell no!  Voldemort wasn't abused though! He wasn't, and I don't know where people are getting this from because nothing in the books suggests that he was. Also it wouldn't be Dumbledore's fault anyway even if he was, because he wasn't headmaster at the time so he wasn't the one sending him back.

Wait a minute, are you comparing these people (terrorists) to Dumbledore?

Absolutely.

Adolf Hitler wiped out millions of Jews. He was a racist.

So was DD. He came from a racist family (per his history) and was the lover of the magical Hitler (Grindlewald). DD's favorite phrase was in fact coined by Grindlewald. The only difference between them is that Grindlewald advocated direct violence and brute force while DD favors manipulation as a weapon. BOTH wanted dictatorial rule.

He hated the Jews and blamed everything on them. Saddam Hussein executed loads of people because he believed he had to rule with an iron fist. Al Qaeda is an extremist group who has extremist ideas in the name of religion.

Again, manipulation vs direct violence. Same end result: a world under the rule of HIS idea of how things should be.

Dumbledore did NOT come from a racist family! His mother was a Muggle-born, and his father only attacked those Muggles because they permanently traumatized his daughter. Completely justified in my opinion. And Dumbledore WAS in love with Grindelwald but they weren't LOVERS, JKR says this. Just because you love somebody doesn't mean you're like them. And just because your family was racist doesn’t mean you are! Sirius, anybody?! It wasn't Dumbledore's favorite phrase, Dumbledore didn't use that phrase once in the series, not once. Only in a letter written a hundred years ago. And yeah, Dumbledore wanted to rule the world as a young man but he didn't try to take over the world since then, he had a hundred years and could've done it but he didn't so I think that speaks for him. He didn't even really manipulate people, it's not like he took away their free will. Yeah he was manipulative but in the end the choices were theirs.

I don't even have to say why comparing Dumbledore to the terrorists is totally and completely wrong. They did it because they wanted to remake the world in their own image or gain power, Dumbledore did what he did to, I dunno...STOP PEOPLE FROM BEING MASS MURDERED! So whatever manipulation he supposedly used as a weapon, I really don't care about. It worked didn't it? 

Yes, sometimes he did things and made decisions there weren't morally right.

"Sometimes" as in all the time.

No bitch, he did ONE really morally questionable thing and that was leaving Harry with the Dursleys.

Yes, he lied to Harry.

And abused him by sending him to Durzkaban. And kept him isolated and alone to psychologically break him to he would martyr himself. And a host of other things. And that's just Harry. He betrayed the entire Order by posting them as guards at the Ministry over a prophecy which could only be removed by either Harry or Voldemort and which therefore did not need guarding.

And lets not forget not doing anything to help Sirius, either before he escaped prison or afterwards. Or never actually doing anything to help the wizarding underclass (muggleborn, werewolves, house elves, et). Refusing to act for the genuine good where action is needed is just as bad as doing bad acts.

I already explained why the whole psychological thing is complete and utter bullshit.  Never mind that JK Rowling herself says that he used his power to try to better conditions for the marginalized, Hermione has said it and so have several people. He helped Hagrid, Remus, Dobby and others when he didn't even have to. He tried to keep Sirius safe in his old house, I think that's helping him. And no it's not! Just because somebody can't stop a bad situation doesn't make them the same as the one causing it. I already explained why the abuse theory is wrong, again we have no proof of this.

But he did struggle with those things.

So he claims, if you believe him. As many lies as he told I wouldn't believe him if he told me the time without checking a clock fir

Where are all these lies he supposedly told? Hm? Where? Assuming that every word somebody says is a lie is called paranoia.

I find that sometimes in order to be a good leader, you have to be shrewd.

That's a synonym for "abusive manipulation" I've never seen before.

No, it’s not. Being shrewd is not the same as abuse. Again, paranoia.

But it says NOTHING of who you are. Neither does it define you.

On the contrary, it says a great deal about who you are.

And whatever wrong he did do, he regretted them.

Well bully for him. Doesn't bring back the dead or undo all the evil things he did.

He wanted to keep the wizarding world safe and the people alive.

The ends do not justify the means

"The ends do not justify the means." They totally do. In my opinion, if the whole entire freaking world is in danger and everyone is going to be wiped out, you do what you have to do to stop it. Morals be damned. Dumbledore was the perfect commander, the only really morally questionable he did was the Dursleys and that's already been explained. Because morality doesn't mean shit if you're not alive to act on those morals. What's the most immoral thing, letting millions of people die, or getting your hands a little dirty? I know which one I'm thinking. When stopping mass genocide, morals don't matter. You don't have time to think about what's the most moral thing to do, it's a matter of life or death. "Doesn't bring back the dead?" The dead aren't Dumbledore's responsibility and there weren't even that many of them. Also what are all these evil acts he supposedly committed? Dumbledore isn't some evil monster, far from it. JKR didn't even write him that way. People just tend to exaggerate what he supposedly did to make him worse looking, but I don't buy it. You claim that he lies constantly, what's the proof? Dumbledore doesn't lie that much. We have no reason to believe he's lying and just assuming that every word somebody utters is a lie is paranoia. Now we all have our different opinions, but almost all of this has no evidence to back it up.

[flicksnfilms]

Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

As the Avengers and their allies have continued to protect the world from threats too large for any one hero to handle, a new danger has emerged from the cosmic shadows: Thanos. A despot of intergalactic infamy, his goal is to collect all six Infinity Stones, artifacts of unimaginable power, and use them to inflict his twisted will on all of reality. Everything the Avengers have fought for has led up to this moment - the fate of Earth and existence itself has never been more uncertain.

Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo Writer: Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely (screenplay), Stan Lee, Jack Kirby (Marvel comics), Jim Starlin, George Pérez, Ron Lim (comic book story) Cast: fucking everybody IMDB | RottenTomatoes | Official Site

Watched: on 25 April, at the IMAX cinema, and 28 April, and 01 May

Reaction: ± Thanos demands my silence. I will say that i wasn’t half as prepared as i though i was. I'll edit this in like a week with my actual reaction since i assume by then it'll be far enough down any follower's (who hasn't watched - IN A WHOLE WEEK AFTER RELEASE!) dashboard to not be seen unless you're looking specifically at this blog.

Memorable aspect of the movie: + So many things. (Soon.)

Would I recommend it? > Fuck. Yes.

[EDIT:] So, reaction. After more than a month because i haven’t been on in a while, and under the cut because it’s hella long (like, super fucking long) and rambling in my geeky joy. :D It’s in 3 parts, from the three times i watched it.

[Take 1] ± It was an EXCELLENT, WELL BALANCED FILM. They have the Marvel Cinematic Universe formula down pat of comedy and drama, action and reaction. It’s so perfect and fun to watch. They were able to give the gigantic cast fairly equal screen time as well as balancing the personalities on screen. [See bonus content at the very end.]. That they split up the teams and threw them with other franchises was a great choice for both balance and dynamic. The visuals -- cinematography, CGI, costume, make up, set design --, as always, are a feast, with the coloration of the film striking a balance between all the different tones from each individual franchise. 

[Take 2] Memorable [aspect] moments of the movie: + D:  “I am Loki, Prince of Asgard... Odinson.” + XD “I’ll get you a metaphysical ham on rye.” + Doctor Strange and Tony’s interactions. It was interesting repartee and good chemistry. + Stark-raving Hazelnut and Hunka-Hulk-a Burning Love. I need to try these flavours, and also i need to know the flavours for every other Avenger. + <3 Tony brings the stupid flip phone around with him! AND there’s a message!! + XD “Squidward” + XD “Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.” + XD Bruce trying to beat Hulk out.  + “Wong, you’re invited to my wedding.” + XD The singing. Mean faces. “Language. ... Ever since you got a little sap.” OMG. You GOT a little sap. Oh, puberty. “ XD “He is not a dude. You are a dude. He is a man. A handsome, muscular man.” “It’s like a pirate made a baby with an angel.” “God man.” + XD Mantis’s attack form. + XD Quill’s jealousy and mimicking. + “All words are made up words.” Well, that’s actually a good point. + “Is there a 4 digit code? A birthday perhaps” Thor’s really gotten into Midgard culture eh? (Which is a good carry over from Thor: Ragnarok.) + XD Rabbit. Tree. Morons. Ah, Thor’s nicknames. It’s fun, cause he doesn’t mean them maliciously and he says them with such regal diction that they feel kind of acceptable as nicknames. + The intro sequences for the rogue Avengers. STEVE!!! <3 And Sam! And Nat!! The whole fight sequence too! + D:  “Where to, Cap?” “Home.” !!! (ESPECIALLY IF YOU REWATCH AGE OF ULTRON AND SEE HOW STEVE REACTS TO SAM SAYING “Home is home,” AT THE PARTY. TT_TT )  + “The kid watches more movies.” Well, that’s a good enough strategy. + “WHAT ARE THOSE??” The two teenagers use the same (meme) phrasing. + “Doctor. Do you concur?” + <3 “I’m not looking for forgiveness. And I’m way past asking permission. Earth just lost its best defender, so we’re here to fight. If you want to stand in our way, we’ll fight you too.” ICONIC. STEVEN FUCKING ROGERS, EVERYONE. + <3 The reunion greetings with Rhodey.” + XD “This is awkward.” + XD “It was an elective.” I NEED TO KNOW WHAT OTHER ELECTIVES THEY OFFERED ON ASGARD, PLEASE. + “I am Groot?” Evidently translates to: Are we there yet? The question of all kids in travelling vehicles everywhere. + D:  “What more do I have to lose?”  + Giant Peter Dinklage. So weird. + D:  Quill and Gamora. + Quill actually got Thanos’s approval. So like, thanks, dad? Hahaha. + “We don’t trade lives.”  + Nebula. What a badass. + XD “Blanket of death” + XD “Where is Gamora?” “Who is Gamora?” “Why is Gamora?” + “You’re from Earth?” “I’m from Missouri.” “Missouri is on Earth, dumbass.” + XD “Kick names. Take ass.” + Tony’s face. He’s so done with everyone. + Rhodey & Bruce. Ahh, what are friends for. XD + Steve & Bucky. Both of you are “hundred year old, semi-stable soldier”s. + Shuri! Wakanda! Man, i love this place. It’s great. + D:  Gamora!! + “Get out of the way, Sammy.” SAMMY! + Thor jumping onto and then sitting on the pod. What a cutie. + “It’ll kill you.” “Not if I don’t die.” “Yes, that’s what killing you means.” + XD “Magic! More magic! Magic with a kick!” + Bucky & Rocket + “New haircut?” “I see you’ve copied my beard.” This is SO MUCH better knowing they ad-libbed it.  + “This is my friend, Tree.” “I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Of fucking course. Such a polite cutie pie, this guy. + XD Okoye’s reactions, and the “Why was she up there all this time?” + “She’s not alone.” FUCK YEAH. LET’S GO LADIES!! + “Oh, screw you, you big green asshole. I’ll do it myself.” Banner is super funny, situationally in this film. + “Tony Stark.” “You know me?” Hell yeah, you deserve to be acknowledged all over the universe, Tony. + The power of Doctor Strange and the mystic arts. SO COOL.  + Tony ran out of nanoparticles! O_o + D:  Wanda & Vision + “Steve?” TT___TT D: Bucky! Sam! My King! “Steady, Quill.” “I don’t wanna go!” TT__TT FEELS.

[Take 3] ± The familial hits get me more than the romantic ones. My reactions per viewing gave me three different experiences; It was personal, then intellectual, them empathic, in that order, for me. There are some moments i paid particular attention to, for a few characters:

Loki gets to come full circle with the “We have a Hulk,” line along with his redemption arc continuing on in from Thor: Ragnarok. Thor is an odd amalgamation of Shakespearean proper and slangy modern. “A little bit.” “So cool.” “I bid thee farewell and good luck, morons.” “Bye.”

The interplay between Tony and Strange. Excellent. It’s a real battle of egos at the beginning which turns to a mutual respect. Tony is a true leader. He intuits other people’s emotional reactions and attempts to keep them in line long enough to complete the goal.

A lot of shots in the Avengers compound are just Steve’s reactions. What bearing will this have? How does he feel about the cost?? Are they showing how tired he is from paying for his decisions?

The kid’s all heart. The first thing Peter does, once their plan goes awry, is try to save everyone even if he can’t remember their names. Okoye is a warrior to the core. She refuses to attach even these fuckers from behind. Bruce is such a goof and it shows now that he can’t disappear mid-scene. “Oh, you guys are so screwed!” And all the talking-to he gives Hulk.

Thanos’s voice really goes soft for Gamora, as a child, and the “I’m sorry, daughter.” “Tony Stark. ... You have my respect. I will wipe out half of humanity. I hope they remember you.” That’s amazing. The cost, the deterioration, is up to his arm and his neck. That’s an interesting detail which kind of implies that the Infinity Gauntlet (in the MCU at least) can only be used for something of this scale a few, if not only one, times.

I love that Marvel is really invested in antagonists that aren’t villains purely for the sake of being evil, but are fleshed out beings with emotions and purpose and passion, even if their goals are morally misguided. They have complex backstories and three dimensional personalities. Their goals are logical and intelligent, if a little beyond what’s reasonable. Their thought processes within the realm of imagination but a step too far for civilians and heroes.

The ending of this film is superb. I’ve seen many a peer say they think it’s too short or unresolved but i think they fail to appreciate the story. That sometimes the “good guys” don’t or can’t win (for now). That there are outcomes we’d rather not fathom and costs we’d rather not pay. But they happen. And the MCU gets this. That things happen and there’s a balance to it. There’s collateral and there’s gains and losses. And not just for the protagonist. (But for every character.)

Thanos achieved his goal, but at great personal cost. He won but lost all at once. Likewise, Killmonger achieved some of his goals but failed at others, died but did it with dignity in his eyes; Hela brought was released from her bonds and gained power but didn’t wind up ruling Asgard as it was swallowed by Ragnarok; Zemo sowed discord and ripped the Avengers apart from the inside, but was prevented from shooting himself and joining his family. 

[BONUS:] In some of my movie reviews i talk about the characters and their stories in relation to Joseph Campbell’s Heroic Monomyth. And, i dunno, i suppose it my complete emotional roller coaster watching this film along with all the geek out moments, i completely missed its inclusion in this, given that the beginning of the monomyth takes place before the beginning of this film. I was delighted to find it pointed out to me in this post by The Screen Junkies - The Dailies Facebook. It’s a really good breakdown of the way the writers (maybe intentionally) incorporated the Heroic Monomyth in Infinity War despite it featuring like 7000 characters and all of Hollywood. :)

[char27martin]

Tim Knox: The Magic Formula for Great Story Ideas

  By Tim Knox

Is there a magic formula you can use to consistently come up with great story ideas for your books? I’m not sure there’s much magic to it, but I’m happy to share with you the formula that I use to come up with ideas for my own books and those for my clients.

Actually, it’s more of a mathematical equation than a magic formula, but saying I have a mathematical equation just doesn’t impress my writer pals at the coffee shop like saying I have a magic formula does. I do use a plus sign (+), a multiplication sign (x), and an equals sign (=), still, would you rather be Harry Potter or Albert Einstein?

Yeah, me, too.

So, here my magic formula for coming up with great story ideas.

Character + Situation x Obstacles = Ending

I know, not really that magical, but it can create a magical story when the spell is spun correctly.

Basically, you take a character (or characters), drop them in a situation, put obstacles in their path that they must overcome, and let the story progress to the ending, be it happy, unhappy, tragic, or otherwise.

Let’s look closer at each factor before putting the formula to a test.

CHARACTER

Every great story requires a strong main character (or characters) that readers can relate to or connect with on some emotional level. That character can be the prototypical hero or heroine, a villain, a human, an alien, a dog, a cat—even a spider named Charlotte.

Or perhaps the book features an anti-hero; a bad guy or girl with some redeeming qualities that cause the reader to root for them even though their heart may be fifty shades of grey (see what I did there?).

Think Dexter, Lucifer, Holden Caulfield, Scarlett O’Hara, Tom Ripley, the young Darth Vader, or just about any character in Game of Thrones.

For example, Jaime Lannister is a conniving murderer who pushed a little boy off a tall tower and sleeps with his sister, yet he is one of the most popular characters in the Game of Thrones books and TV show. Why? Because he connects on some emotional level with readers (and probably more so to female viewers of the series on HBO).

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SITUATION

The situation is the proverbial soup the character finds himself swimming in. If you’re the character, the situation can be anything from waking up with a dead body next to you in bed, to finding out your wife has disappeared and you’re the prime suspect, to realizing you only have a few weeks left to live, to finding out that you have a ten-year-old son from a one-night stand that you didn’t know existed. The situation is the vehicle that carries the story. It is the impetus that drives the character toward the obstacles and through to the end.

OBSTACLES

An obstacle can be anything that gets in the way of the character’s progress or desires, or threatens life and limb, or prevents the character from getting what he seeks. It can be as simple as a pimple on senior picture day, to missing a flight, to falling in love with a married woman, to opening the door to find an ax murderer standing there.

Obstacles are what make a story interesting. We want to see the hero triumph over adversity, even when things seem insurmountable. The greater the obstacle, the more the reader will care about the hero. Obstacles give the story purpose, they put meat on its bones, they give us something to fear and something to root for.

ENDING

The ending of a story should be determined by how well the hero has worked through the given situation, overcome the obstacles, and arrived at the end of the journey. Sometimes that ending is happily ever after, sometimes it’s happy for now, sometimes it’s misery and tragedy, and sometimes you’re left hanging by your fingernails at a cliff.

No matter the ending you write, it must be logically determined by all that has come before otherwise the reader will be disappointed by the resolution or lack thereof.

If you’ve taken the reader down one long road, then suddenly veered off in another direction to end the tale in an unexpected way, you’re going to tick the reader off. Your sales, reviews, and reputation will reflect their disappointment.

Imagine the reader backlash if, after all that has happened in Lord of the Rings, Frodo wakes up to find that it was all just a bad dream. Not good, J.R.R.; not good at all.

So, again: Character + Situation x Obstacles = Ending

See if any of these bestselling plots sound familiar to you.

An old fisherman who has not caught a fish in 84 days (Character) goes out to sea alone and hooks a large marlin (Situation) which is eaten by hungry sharks before the old man with the fish lashed to his boat get back to shore (Obstacles). Because of the size of the marlin’s skeleton, the old fisherman is redeemed in the eyes of his village and gains the respect of his peers once more (Ending).

Or this one:

A young orphan boy living with nasty relatives (Character) discovers he is a wizard and is sent to wizarding school (Situation) only to face an evil sorcerer and his minions who seek to dominate the world (Obstacles). The young boy and his friends defeat the evil sorcerer and save the day (Ending).

Or perhaps this one:

A poor young man and a wealthy young girl (Characters) fall in love despite their socioeconomic differences (Situation) but her rich family opposes the union, and she is sworn to another, forcing her to choose between love and obligation (Obstacles). She makes her choice and lives to be an old woman in a nursing home whose husband reads to her every day (Ending).

Or finally:

A young boy, disfigured by a facial birth defect, (Character) goes to public school for the first time (Situation) only to face cruelty and bullying from children and adults alike (Obstacles). He overcomes adversity and becomes an inspiration to all (Ending).

Do any of those books sound familiar? Do you see how they all fit the magic formula?

In a nutshell: take a normal (or abnormal) character, drop them in an abnormal (or normal) situation, pepper their journey with obstacles, maybe throw in a little romance, a little humor, a little dark magic, a little serial killing, whatever you like, and see how they faire. That’s how you make the magic happen.

Watch the video at the top of the article for more insights on how to come up with great story ideas.

Tim Knox is an author, ghostwriter, editor, and publishing coach who has ghostwritten over 100 books in various fiction and nonfiction genres, and produced over 200 videos and podcasts on the topic of how to become a better writer. Tim’s company, Knox Publishing, works with new and established authors to help them improve their writing skills and marketability. His novels, Angel of Mercy and Sins of the Father, as well as other works, may be found on his website at timknoxbooks.com.

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