#amos is a different level and different type of messed up lmao

[defyingthefates]

With the revelation that Orym had a feeling Laudna killing Bor'dor would give Delilah a foot in the door again, and let it happen even as Laudna turned to him as a lifeline to stop herself. And with the Expanse and its characters on the brain. I'm just thinking about how sometimes, even in the absence of evil necromantic soul parasites, the important question isn't "is mercy the morally correct choice?" it's "is revenge the right choice for us?" It's about self-preservation. About staying the person you want to be. The person you need to be to keep putting one foot in front of the other every day. The person you can look at in mirror every morning. It's about knowing your friend will be disproportionately burdened by that choice and chosing to intervene. Not even necessarily to stop the killing altogether, just to stop your friend from hurting themself in the process. ("You're not that guy" but "I am that guy." "It's not about [them]. It's about us." "It wasn't mercy. It was vanity. I didn't want to think of myself as someone who wanted vengeance.")

In that moment Laudna needed someone to step in for her. To take the weight off her shoulders. I don't think Laudna wants to be the kind of person who kills to satisfy feelings of revenge (even without the threat of an evil necromancer hiding in her soul). Imogen pulled her back from the brink before. But this time she wasn't there. And Orym, in her stead, let her fall. When he could have chosen to intervene. Ashton too, to an extent, although in the moment it was Orym that Laudna looked to for restraint. Either of them could have made the kill instead. That this also put Delilah back in the picture... well that just makes this situation all that much worse. How does it feel to know that your friends let you free-fall into the dark? How does it feel knowing you let your friend free-fall into the dark? Worse, how does it feel to know you gave them that final shove over the precipice?