#amos > int. seyda seven: 002

[amosdeleon]

Although her question was almost rhetorical, Amos let his eyes scan her face carefully, almost as if he hadn't done several times before now. This thing between them, it was hard to understand sometimes. Most times. It felt like in a lot of ways, they walked on eggshells around each other and he didn't think it was because of fear of the other's reactions, but of their own reactions. He hadn't realized that he'd purposely put space between because his subconscious was aware of how much it would mean to him if she actually saw him as more than just the man that knew how to have a good time, that always had a smirk on his face, that made her smile. "I didn't--I just didn't know that you wanted to be close to me like that, you know? It's different to what we've been doing." He admitted slowly, a rare moment of vulnerability and his way to show that as much as he liked to act like he did, Amos didn't have all the answers. He was willing to put in the work though. Because the more that time passed, the more that he found himself thinking about her, wondering what she was doing, wondering if she thought about him as often as he did her and also wondering what exactly they were doing. Amos tilted his head to the side, his eyes soft, and reached for her other hand with his at her next words, unable to feel like without saying much, something was shifting between them. Like this conversation should have taken place long before to avoid all the confusion they'd dealt with the past few weeks. It meant the world to him that she was so willing to offer her support, probably because he knew that she could tell how big of a deal it was for him. "I'd like that, Shay. I like having you around."

"I'm not used to people wanting to see all sides of me. But I'll do my best to show you if you really want me to." Amos had dated so many people after his divorce, few of them seriously, most of them short-term. Despite his behavior, he was a man that followed his heart. That was why his career meant so much to him, everything that Amos de Leon did, he did it passionately. Matters of the heart though, had always took a second place in his life and it had taken his years to realize just how much it hurt him to choose the life that he had now. A life where everyone thought that he had everything that he wanted, but in reality, he spent most of it wondering what if things were different. From day one, Amos had realized that Şeyda did things differently, he could tell she tried to hold back. The first time that they'd hooked up, it was as surprising to him as it was for her, he'd figured they would never act on all the flirting. It would work out in their favor though, that she kept distance between them right after because without realizing it, their dynamic was giving Amos enough time to realize how much he wanted her around. A slow smile formed on his lips as she apologized, finding it endearing in a way. It seemed like they were on the same boat, so who was he to judge. "Got it. No, seriously, I got it. I'm gonna pursue you so hard, you're not gonna know what hit you." His tone of voice was playful as he lifted one of his hands to cup the side of her neck, blue eyes meeting with her dark ones before she leaned in for a small kiss. Amos grinned widely as she agreed to the date, nodding his head at her words before leaning back in for another soft, short kiss on the lips. "This weekend. Whenever you're free. Just let me know."

Everything he said and explained resonated with her. Not only did she gain some understanding of where Amos had been regarding his physical presence but he also offered up a glimpse of his head space. The fact that she didn't have to dig for that information made her heart flutter a little, it made her feel a little stronger in stepping forward toward him. As though she wasn't alone on this unexpected journey of feelings when it came to the two of them. It also let her in on the fact that without saying as much that he might have feelings for her too. "Why wouldn't I want to see it?" There was no certainty within her that the question was rhetorical or she was curious to understand his thinking behind that. They'd maybe confused each other quite a bit. "Isn't that how it's supposed to be... when you grow closer to someone? You let them see all the sides of you..." And if they stayed and still wanted you despite whatever your bullshit was that the feelings were really genuine? There was certainly a lot of darkness surrounding her, which was another reason she created distance sometimes, not sure if he'd want anything to do with her if he were to learn about her fucked up family and what she was dealing with. "I wanted to reach out, but..." A little smile broke through and Şeyda laughed softly. "Since you didn't... I wasn't sure, you know?" She wasn't a chaser. Never in her life had she actually pursued someone but there was a strong part of her that wanted to with him. Was it just sex? Something she wasn't actually good at maintaining. Being repeatedly intimate with someone meant she was bound to have feelings, and that was why it was rare for her. "This must be really tough to go through, though. Your last match, putting the racket up and retiring..." And she was sure he wasn't going through it alone. A charismatic, attractive man like him probably had plenty of attention and support. "I want to be there for you... if you let me."

They kept inching closer to each other and it was clear there was something very magnetic between them. Şeyda pulled in a breath when contact was made, evident in her chest rising, but she didn't release it immediately and instead let the electricity of his touch move through her. She'd dated in the past, tried to have casual flings, they weren't super common but there had only been one serious relationship in her past where real feelings were involved. The demise of that relationship had been so devastating and traumatic that she'd locked up her emotions tightly. Never wanting to experience that kind of pain again. Şeyda hated that she was fighting it with Amos and that she overthought too much about their connection and interactions but she realized slowly that she feared losing him. She peered up into his blue eyes and had to gently and slowly sink her teeth into her lip to restrain the smile that desperately wanted to form at his admission. "Neither have I," she returned and moved her fingers against his, easing him just a little closer to her. "Sorry..." It came out more playful and her expression began to morph to match the tone as he gave her a hard time again. "I don't know how to pursue someone. You might have to lead the way, Ames." She was trying to say that if he took the lead she'd respond in kind. "I clearly can't ignore you but alright... you want to put the games away, let's do it." The flight of butterflies in her stomach put a smile on her face as Amos asked her on a date, one that she couldn't restrain as well. "Alight," she tried to sound casual, but then, "I'd really like that." The distance then closed, Şeyda pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. "Sooner rather than later, yeah?" She asked as she pulled back just a little.

[amosdeleon]

COMPLETED

Although her question was almost rhetorical, Amos let his eyes scan her face carefully, almost as if he hadn't done several times before now. This thing between them, it was hard to understand sometimes. Most times. It felt like in a lot of ways, they walked on eggshells around each other and he didn't think it was because of fear of the other's reactions, but of their own reactions. He hadn't realized that he'd purposely put space between because his subconscious was aware of how much it would mean to him if she actually saw him as more than just the man that knew how to have a good time, that always had a smirk on his face, that made her smile. "I didn't--I just didn't know that you wanted to be close to me like that, you know? It's different to what we've been doing." He admitted slowly, a rare moment of vulnerability and his way to show that as much as he liked to act like he did, Amos didn't have all the answers. He was willing to put in the work though. Because the more that time passed, the more that he found himself thinking about her, wondering what she was doing, wondering if she thought about him as often as he did her and also wondering what exactly they were doing. Amos tilted his head to the side, his eyes soft, and reached for her other hand with his at her next words, unable to feel like without saying much, something was shifting between them. Like this conversation should have taken place long before to avoid all the confusion they'd dealt with the past few weeks. It meant the world to him that she was so willing to offer her support, probably because he knew that she could tell how big of a deal it was for him. "I'd like that, Shay. I like having you around."

"I'm not used to people wanting to see all sides of me. But I'll do my best to show you if you really want me to." Amos had dated so many people after his divorce, few of them seriously, most of them short-term. Despite his behavior, he was a man that followed his heart. That was why his career meant so much to him, everything that Amos de Leon did, he did it passionately. Matters of the heart though, had always took a second place in his life and it had taken his years to realize just how much it hurt him to choose the life that he had now. A life where everyone thought that he had everything that he wanted, but in reality, he spent most of it wondering what if things were different. From day one, Amos had realized that Şeyda did things differently, he could tell she tried to hold back. The first time that they'd hooked up, it was as surprising to him as it was for her, he'd figured they would never act on all the flirting. It would work out in their favor though, that she kept distance between them right after because without realizing it, their dynamic was giving Amos enough time to realize how much he wanted her around. A slow smile formed on his lips as she apologized, finding it endearing in a way. It seemed like they were on the same boat, so who was he to judge. "Got it. No, seriously, I got it. I'm gonna pursue you so hard, you're not gonna know what hit you." His tone of voice was playful as he lifted one of his hands to cup the side of her neck, blue eyes meeting with her dark ones before she leaned in for a small kiss. Amos grinned widely as she agreed to the date, nodding his head at her words before leaning back in for another soft, short kiss on the lips. "This weekend. Whenever you're free. Just let me know."