#amma x gunnhild

[therealvikingstrash]

On Second Glance

My entry for the prompt Red Rose of @vikingsevents Valentine's Week. I had actually planned something else, but suddenly these two were there and here we are. No warnings needed. (drabble under the cut)

-♡-

Gunnhild arrived late to the restaurant. Her girlfriend Amma made reservations and had been waiting for her. In her hurry, she didn’t spare the single red rose on the table more than a swift glance to acknowledge it, instead kissing Amma in greeting and apologizing for the delay. 

They were chatting about their day while eating the food and Gunnhild enjoyed the retro aesthetic more than she liked to admit. And Amma… her beautiful Amma, with her soft smile. Part of her wished they were at home, so she could take her in her arms until the stress she’d felt today would dissipate. The smile turned a bit mysterious and Gunnhild frowned in question. 

Only when Amma’s eyes flitted down to the rose between them– that Gunnhild had halfway declared table decorations in her mind– did she notice the silver ring around its green and thornless stem. For a moment Gunnhild was speechless. They usually weren’t the most romantic couple when it came to big gestures and this wasn’t big by a long stretch, but huge for their relationship. Gunnhild carefully took the rose in hand and tried to slip the ring off without bending the leaves too far they'd break. “Is there a chance this is just a Valentine’s present?” she asked, unwilling to misinterpret the situation. 

Amma wordlessly held her palm up for the ring and took Gunnhild’s right hand. “I heard it is the ultimate Valentine’s gift,” she told her. “A promise to spend every Valentine’s together until we get tired of each other.” Amma played with the ring, uncertain if she was allowed to slip it on Gunnhild’s finger. “The question is, if you want this…me.”

Gunnhild moved her hand so the ring would easily fit over her knuckles, “I will never get tired of you.” She leaned over their small table and carefully pulled Amma’s hand towards her to softly kiss her palm, resulting in a bright smile from her. They’d been friends for all their lives, had witnessed relationships, casual lovers and marriages of each other, same as the following divorce, before they finally got together. Gunnhild would be a liar if she said she never thought about marrying Amma before. Her girlfriend had simply beat her to popping the question.

Their relationship was like nothing she’d ever experienced with her exes. The comfort, deep love and trust was something Gunnhild had always hoped to find in her previous partners, only to get disappointed by the lack thereof. And even though she would love to skip all the failed relationships to be with her girlfriend right from the start– to have a fairytale love at first sight story– she knew they’d been valuable lessons and her and Amma wouldn’t have been too great for each other back then. Inexperienced and possibly too adventurous to appreciate the bond.

It was only fitting that she saw the ring on second glance, much like Amma. 

-♡-

[serasvictoria]

@vikingstrash asked for the following:

Boo! 😂

Pls gimme number 14 of the smut prompts with Amma/Gunnhild.

And number 14 is “Can you help me with this zipper?” 😏

The things this did to me. Oh lord. And then it got unexpectedly sad as well? Don't know why.

All pictures from Pinterest

Tagging @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie @ritual-unions-gotme @pomegranates-and-blood @quantumlocked310 @adrille88 @youbloodymadgenius @punkrocknpearls @whenimaunicorn @captainkilly @actual-queen-of-hell (apologies if this ship is not your thing by the way!)

It had taken Amma quite some time to get her friend back to resemble the person that she had been before. One of the most noticeable differences was that when she smiled now, it actually reached her eyes which had been absent for a while. The spark had been missing, completely snuffed out because of a guy who cared about no one but himself.

The phone call came completely out of the blue and Amma had answered without looking at the screen, but when she had heard that sad, shaky voice on the other end of the line her heart broke into a million tiny pieces.

“I need you.”

Three words. That was all that it took.

Amma was standing in front of the house about half an hour later and helped Gunnhild put two suitcases, four cardboard boxes, a couple of bags, one large plant that Amma instantly recognised as something that she had given her friend as a housewarming present and a cage with a pet hamster into the car. It had taken them about ten minutes to load everything into Amma’s fairly small car and to get her away from her failing marriage.

The first few days were spent watching over Gunnhild and petting her hair as she lay on her side, curled up into a fetal position. It made Amma want to go to Bjorn’s house in the middle of the night just so she could break his nose. Maybe even give that Wiccan bitch that had lured him into her bed with her lucky pussy a black eye as well for good measure.

It was a damn shame that Gunnhild kept telling her not to, even going as far as expressly forbidding her to go. She knew that Amma had never been able to refuse her anything so she stayed by her side instead, hugged her when it was needed, spewed the usual “it will get better” bullshit as she wiped the tears from her face, even feeding her when Gunnhild kept insisting that she wasn’t hungry.

“I won’t have you die on me,” she had said quite sternly before blowing on the spoon. “And definitely not over a dumb asshole like that.”

“Don’t say that,” Gunnhild replied helplessly, but she still allowed Amma to feed her. “He’s not-“

“You know that it’s true. Please stop defending him.” Something in Amma’s voice made it clear that she was not going to stand for Gunnhild’s continuous excuses on behalf of that piece of shit. Her friend stopped arguing, an indication that her words were finally starting to get through to her. “He doesn't deserve you. Never did.”

Seeing the woman that she had admired for about as long as she could remember being reduced to this infuriated her.

Ever since an unfortunate accident where she had accidentally punched Gunnhild in the face when she was about six years old, when the already taller blonde pulled her off some boy that had offended Amma. It was the only injury that she had caused that genuinely horrified her. Only because all that her friend did was smile, wiping the blood from her split lip and laughing like nothing of importance had happened at all, even if Amma knew that it must have hurt like hell.

They were inseparable afterwards, practically joined at the hip, and had been until they graduated college.

Circumstances had caused them to drift apart for a short while, a bad choice in partner at the heart of it all, but Amma was glad that she was the first person that Gunnhild called when she was in trouble. That meant something. That meant that the close bond that they had formed over the years had not been severed at all.

A few weeks after she had arrived, now that their evenings were not spent with one watching over the other, now that one brow wasn’t constantly creased with worry over the continuous stream of tears that leaked from the eyes of the other, naturally their conversations drifted back to the “good old days” when things were a lot more carefree.

“You were always so…” Amma stopped herself then, almost afraid to continue, because she knew that if she would start that she wouldn’t be able to stop until everything had spilled out of her. “So…”

“What?” Gunnhild reached for her hand then, threading her fingers through hers like they belonged there, mirroring something that they used to do all the time when younger. “What was I?”

“Fierce.” Her friend chuckled and shook her head. “You were!”

“You always looked at me differently from everyone else.”

And it was true, because she did. Though Gunnhild never quite seemed to pick up on what exactly made it so different.

“Because you outshone everyone.” Gunnhild was her own personal sun ever since that fateful day and Amma gravitated around her. Her own personal satellite that has been caught in her gravitational pull. “Everyone paled into insignificance next to you.”

“You give me too much credit.”

“Stop doing that.” Amma moved in close suddenly, grateful that Gunnhild was sitting down, because otherwise their height difference would not have made what she wanted to do possible. She pressed her forehead against hers and she could feel her freeze. “You are magnificent. I don’t know half of what that dumb fuck told you to make you talk like that, but he was talking out of his ass.”

“Perhaps.” Gunnhild closed her eyes and not for the first time since Amma had taken her in, she felt the overwhelming need to close the distance and kiss her. There was a gentle nudge at her shoulder and she reluctantly pulled away instead. “Okay. I have been burdening you with my presence for long enough.”

“Are you trying to say…”

“What?” Amma had no idea what Gunnhild was seeing on her face, but her smile faded fast. Her expression must have looked particularly horrified for the mood to change that quickly. “Sweet Amma.”

She could feel her heart skipping a beat. That was something that she had not been called for many years. Not since…

“You took me in without complaining.” Gunnhild pressed on and Amma managed to draw air back into her lungs halfway through the sentence, like some major crisis had just been averted. “Listened to me complain, dried my tears, made me watch The Nanny until I cried with laughter, you even fed me. I want to thank you for everything that you did to me.”

“I did it because I…” Amma swallowed her words back down. She couldn’t tell her that. Not now. “You don’t have to thank me. I’d do it all over again. In a heartbeat.”

“I know.” Gunnhild’s eyes were so soft that it was making Amma’s heart hammer away in her chest. “Go get changed.”

“Get changed?” Her brow furrowed in confusion as she watched her friend get up from the couch. “For what?”

“I want to take you out to dinner and we’re not going out dressed like this.”

Gunnhild gestured at herself and then at Amma. Gunnhild was wearing a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt that hung off one shoulder. She still looked like a million bucks though. Amma meanwhile was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a shirt that was so old that it had holes in it. She would definitely need to change.

“We don’t have to dress up to go to the pizza place.”

“We’re not having pizza.” When Gunnhild saw Amma’s pout, she started laughing. “I want to take you to that new sushi place. So dress up.” Amma got up from the couch, but still folded her arms in front of her chest to convey her mild annoyance. “Please?”

Amma had a hard time saying no to that request and her shoulders dropped in defeat. “Bitch.” She muttered the word under her breath, which turned to laughter when Gunnhild ruffled her hair right before disappearing into the guest bedroom.

She remained frozen in place for a little while longer, looking at the shadows on the wall through the open door, completely enraptured by something so silly. She shook her head as she got to her feet and retreated back to her own room to get changed.

The sushi place had come highly recommended by Hvitserk and whenever he gave a place high marks, that meant that it was good. He was always eating so he really knew his stuff.

It wasn’t like the restaurant was that fancy though so they didn’t have to show up in their finest just to be allowed to enter. A black skirt paired with a white turtleneck would do so Amma eventually emerged from her room dressed in that. She was right in the middle of pulling on a pair of kneehigh socks when Gunnhild came out of her room.

Amma’s heart stopped beating from the moment that she reappeared.

“Can you help me with this zipper?”

There was little else that she could do apart from stare however. Gunnhild was wearing a tight black knee-length dress that hugged her figure, emphasising her curves perfectly. The aforementioned zipper ran from her back down to her side and the only part that had been closed was what Gunnhild had been able to reach, which meant that her entire back was bare.

“Amma?” She looked over her shoulder at her friend, a hint of a shy smile playing on her lips as she pulled her long hair over her shoulder. “Please?”

“Oh yes!” Amma surged back to life and walked over to where Gunnhild was standing. “Sorry.”

Amma’s fingers grasped the zipper and she started pulling it up painstakingly slowly, taking her time to cover up Gunnhild’s flawless skin.

Memories from many years ago started flitting through her mind.

Her small hands on her friend’s back in the dark as the blonde lay between her thighs and kissing each other until the sun came up.

Amma straddling Gunnhild’s thighs, hands underneath her friend’s shirt, teasing her nipples into peaks until she was a panting mess underneath her.

Gunnhild’s fingers threaded through her dark hair and pulling on the strands whenever Amma found a sweet spot. She could still find every single one of those spots now, each one having been burned into her memory a long time ago.

Their fingers were always entwined back then. All the time. Not caring who the fuck saw them whenever they were out and about.

Thinking about that now, her next move was a fairly natural one.

Leaning forward, she pressed her lips on Gunnhild’s spine, right in the middle, and she took a few seconds to breathe in her friend’s familiar scent until she heard her name being uttered. Amma pulled away in shock and gave the zipper a hard tug upwards before stepping away entirely.

“I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have done that!”

“Amma.” She recoiled in upon herself. She had not crossed that boundary in years, not since Gunnhild had told her that they were friends. Just friends. She wiped at her eyes, tears already forming, angry with herself for not respecting her friend’s wishes, for being tempted so easily. “Amma!”

Her eyes were still wet when she looked up, barely seeing Gunnhild through the tears, then she felt hands cupping her face and soft lips pressing down on hers. Amma gasped and Gunnhild took that opportunity to slide her tongue into her mouth. It was so easy for Gunnhild to draw moans from her throat and set her body alight with just a kiss.

“Wait.” Even if she wanted to do nothing more than drag Gunnhild to her bed so she could familiarise herself with the statuesque blonde’s body all over again, she couldn’t stop the little voice in the back of her head from spewing all kinds of insecurities into her mind. “G! Please stop.”

Gunnhild took a step back and Amma immediately missed feeling her warmth, but she wasn’t going to do this. Not again. She had smiled her way through it the last time, ensuring her friend that nothing would change between them, even if all that she wanted to do was break down and cry.

“I’m not going to be the rebound.”

“The what now?”

“Don’t get me wrong. This, the thing that happened just now… amazing. Honest. But I can’t.” Gunnhild’s expression was one of complete and utter confusion, because Amma had never voiced exactly how she had felt all those years ago. “Is this happening just because I’m available? Because you broke my heart, G. I was a fucking mess when you moved out and I don’t want to go thr-“

Before she even had a chance to finish her sentence, those lips were back on hers and there was little else to do apart from give in. She had never been able to refuse her after all. Amma was slowly being pushed back to her bedroom and she was already half naked by the time that they got there, her turtleneck having been pulled off somewhere along the way.

Soon enough, her calves connected with the bed and both of them fell onto the mattress. There was such a flurry of activity that she never even knew what hit her. Amma hiked Gunnhild’s dress up, revealing the thong underneath. Her hands gripped Gunnhild’s ass, moulding the flesh in her palms and giving a slap occasionally which earned her a squeal in reply every single time.

Her friend gave as good as she had in return and her hands skimmed down her body like they had never left her at all, making quick work of removing Amma’s bra, but there was such a sense of urgency to her movements that they disappeared underneath her skirt in a matter of minutes.

The hands that knew every part of her body years ago had no problems finding all the right spots now. A teasing swirl here, a more confident swipe there. Amma covered her face with her arms and threw her head back. Her underwear was swiftly removed, leaving her naked apart from that skirt and the one slouching sock that she had managed to pull on.

Her friend had absolute control for once and left her moaning like she was in heat in seconds. Her pussy was throbbing with desire for Gunnhild, as if it remembered every touch, every kiss, every bite. When those sweet, blessed fingers disappeared, when she was this close, she almost feared rejection again, but then her skirt was flipped up and the hands were back on her thighs to keep them open.

The warm breath on her sensitive heat was the first thing that let her know exactly where her lover’s face was, but she had little chance to prepare. Her tongue licked a broad stripe upward and then focused all their attention on the pearl that lay hidden at the top. Gunnhild’s soft lips closed around the nub, swollen with need, sucking on it until Amma cried out her name.

The fact that it caused Gunnhild little to no time at all to cause her legs shake should have been embarrassing, but she was past the point of caring. She keened out incoherent noises as she came, her arms pushing her up from the bed as the waves of sheer bliss positively pulled her down into the depths and drowned her. She barely even remembered being pulled up the bed by those strong arms and being wrapped up in their strong embrace afterwards.

It was the first thing that she was aware of when her orgasm had ebbed away however. She put her arms around her friend, buried her head against her bare chest and pressed a kiss on her sternum as the comforting scent of her filled her nostrils.

“Why is this even…” When she was even fit to form words, she could not help but address one of the reasons why everything had changed between them. “You told me…”

“You remember Mari and Britt?”

“Those shallow bitches that lived next door? What did they say?”

“Promise me you won’t get angry.”

“What. Did. They. Say.” When Gunnhild sighed in response, her anger subsided immediately. “Hey.” Amma shifted in her arms until she was hovering over her. “I’m sorry. Please tell me. Promise I won’t punch those cows when I run into them.”

“For once,” her friend replied with a brief smile before turning more serious as she continued. “They told me that it was just a phase.”

“Excuse me?” And just like that those two names found themselves back on Amma’s hitlist. “And you believed them?”

“We’d been friends for as long as I can remember, it was too easy to believe.”

“Those bitches played at being into each other just to get attention from guys. I can’t believe you listened to them.” She could already see the two of them putting that bullshit into her head. They were probably just jealous that Amma could make Gunnhild scream in ways that their boyfriends never seemed to be able to copy with them. “It was never like that for me.”

“I didn’t want to lose your friendship so I thought it was better to end it before you got tired of me.”

“Are you serious?” Amma grabbed her face with both hands so she could not look away. It was of the utmost importance that she saw the look in her eyes. “Listen to me. I love you.” The only thing she could do was pour her heart out and make Gunnhild see how serious she was about this. “I have always loved you. I never fully recognised those feelings when we were kids, but you are everything to me.”

“I know and I see that now.” The answering smile that she got from her made it clear that she did. They had known each other for so long that Amma had become a master at reading her friend’s expressions. “Sorry for taking so long.”

Maybe more should have been needed, a longer talk, but Amma could feel that her words were genuine. She could practically feel the love radiating from her friend and it was making her feel lightheaded and giddy. It was giving her a high that no drug would ever be able to give her.

“It’s okay.” She dipped her head down and sucked Gunnhild’s bottom lip into her mouth, only to give it a gentle tug before releasing it. “But we’ve got to make up for lost time. I need to make you feel exactly how much I love you.”

They giggled together and Amma put her hands next to Gunnhild’s head, caging her in for a moment. She dipped her head down and started licking and biting her neck, much to the obvious delight of the woman underneath her. Amma pushed her leg in between her thighs, angling it in such a way that Gunnhild could get the right amount of friction every time that she pushed her hips up.

“What did those dumbasses tell you? That it was a college thing to have your best friend fingerfuck you in the shower?” The little gasps and moans started getting louder the second that Amma pushed her hand in between her friend’s legs, her fingers finding her swollen clit with ease. “That having a girl eat you out while watching a particularly boring movie was part of the college experience?” Gunnhild’s nails pressed into her shoulder blades and then she dragged them out over her arms, no doubt leaving red tracks in their wake. “And what about that time when I bent your sweet ass over the kitchen counter so I could take you from behind with that new stra-“

“Amma!” The muscles in her thighs were starting to tremble, muscles contracting the closer Gunnhild came to reaching her climax. “Oh my g-“

The last word came out as a strangled groan, brutally cut off because Amma chose that exact moment to drown out her cries by pressing their lips together greedily. Strong arms circled around her shoulders, hanging onto her like Amma was the only lifeline that she had, like she would drown if she didn’t hang on for dear life.

It took Gunnhild a while to come down from her high and the next few hours were spent in bed. The brunette only got out of bed to order pizza and then to answer the door. Their dinner was instantly forgotten when she walked back into the bedroom to find Gunnhild with the blanket draped around her like she was Marilyn fucking Monroe in those infamous ‘Last sitting’ pictures and they ended up gearing up for another round as the pizza boxes were discarded on the floor.

Their empty stomachs got the better of them an hour later and they sat on the bed eating cold pizza and laughing over this odd turn of events when Gunnhild’s phone pinged to alert her to a text message.

She sat on the edge of the bed, phone in hand, staring down at the screen in silence for a short while before uttering a, “What the fuck.”

“What.” Amma sat up in the bed and looked over her friend’s shoulder. “Did someone die?”

“No. Bjorn got in touch.”

“The fuck!” Gunnhild handed her the mobile and she stared at the screen. “I forgive you? Is this asshole for real?”

Not for the first time since Amma had gone over to Bjorn’s house to pick up her friend, she was overcome with the overwhelming urge to kick his ass. He hadn’t gotten in touch for a while. That one asshole text to let Gunnhild know that he was going to throw out her Bratmobile, L7 and The Gits CDs if she didn’t come pick them up didn’t count. He had probably been too preoccupied with fucking the basic bitch that he had left Gunnhild for to even spare her a second thought, and now he wanted her back? Just like that? Little Miss Wiccan had probably figured out what a self-centred jerk he was and had done a runner. That was the only explanation as to why he would even send a message like this.

“Give it back.” Gunnhild reached for the phone, but Amma held it out of her reach. “I’m blocking his number.”

“No. No yet.”

“Amma, what are you… Why are you smiling?”

“We’re getting back at him for this shit first.”

“Wh- how…” Amma scrambled down onto the floor, dug her own cell phone out of her discarded purse and turned the camera in Gunnhild’s direction, took a quick picture and put it back down again when she deemed the quality insufficient enough for what she was planning to do. “Wait, what did you have in mind?”

“Trust me.” Gunnhild looked at her with her eyebrows raised. Whenever Amma said stuff like that, it usually landed her into trouble. “You remember that time when I bought that second hand camcorder?”

“Yes.” Gunnhild’s cheeks flushed red when she remembered the weekend that the two of them had spent in bed while Amma recorded almost everything. “You’re not… Amma, no.”

“It’s the only way that he’ll learn.” Amma gave her girlfriend (because that was what she was now, no chance in hell that she was ever going to let her go after this), her phone back. “Think of this as your own personal camcorder.”

“You want me to…”

“Yep!” Amma’s confident voice made her lover giggle in reply. “Record me doing what I do best and then send it to his sorry ass. You can block him afterwards.”

“You’re gonna…”

“Eat your pussy until you have no voice left.”

“Amma. Fuck.”

“You love it.” She grabbed a handful of blonde hair, pulled Gunnhild’s head back and ghosted her lips over hers without actually closing the distance. “And I love you.”

“I know. Love you too.” The confession was nothing more than a whisper, but it made Amma’s heart soar nonetheless. Gunnhild’s smile turned a lot naughtier right before she added, “Now get to work.”

“Anything for you, sexy.” Amma pushed Gunnhild’s thighs open and settled down on her knees in front of her. She winked up at the phone when it was angled into her face. “I’m ready for my closeup…”

[vikingsbigbang]

Kings of Kattegat

Author: @vikingstrash | Artist: @quantumlocked310, @underragingwaves

Rating: Explicit | Word count: 39,862

Warnings: Graphic Description Of Violence

Summary: Instead of leaving to find the Golden Land, Ubbe stays and fights alongside Bjorn. Soon it becomes apparent that his eldest brother won't survive the last attack, following Torvi to Valhalla. Ubbe takes on the burden as King of Kattegat and slowly, with Gunnhild's help, settles into his new role. As only caregiver for Asa, he accepts being her parent readily. With Kattegat thriving again- Ubbe and Amma finding a way to each other, their day-to-day routine is turned upside down once again with Hvitserk and Ivar's arrival.

Created as part of the Vikings Big Bang @vikingsbigbang2022

[honestsycrets]

Back Home || [Sigurd x Reader]

“Are we going to your family’s house?” “Yeah, unfortunately.” (Ivar or Sigurd)

⇁ pairing | sigurd x reader 

⇁ tw | inter-religious relationships (? is this thing?), implied sibling rivalry, implied Ivar being a butt cookie.

⇁ summary | sigurd dreads going back to his home of kattegat, especially knowing that ivar will be there to pick on him– because of his beautiful wife.

There were two days of the three hundred and sixty-five that Sigurd Snake in the Eye, a king in his own right, had to make the treck back home to his brothers out of respect for Bjorn allowing him to take you as his own wife. It could have easily been Ubbe instead. Though married to a thrall as he was, it would have meant the execution of her beforehand. You never knew if it was for your sake that he married you.

You sat in your underdress, pinning your long braids up in respect for your husband with a thrall who knew these Norse braids better than you as a daughter of Aella. It was a jovial time. Mistletoe wrapped the great hall. Fresh oranges set in his boots by his son, who was by now six of age. He prays to Frigga for another soon.

“Are we off to Kattegat for Jul?” you ask him.

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“Why unfortunately?” you shift around your hands at your willowy neck. Sigurd lays on the bed, flicking his sword around, sighing. His snake curled eyes look up to you, and you know that he’s thinking behind those cloudy eyes. When your king thinks, his eyes are far. As if his mind has gone off to the plains of Valhalla without you. You glance to a small statue that sits upon your vanity.

The corner of Sigurd’s lip twitches. He sits up to approach you, slipping his fingers down from your shoulders, down your arms, and up again. When you turn to face him again, his hand is at your neck. He grips the side of your neck, tilting your delicate head to the side. Your earrings tickle his naked fingers.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, glancing to your naked head that is adorned in a singular crown of jewels. “Too beautiful.”

“How can a woman be too beautiful?” is all you can ask, turning up to look at him. Maybe some part of you thought this was a Viking thing. Something you could not possibly understand as a woman who was born from another culture entirely. He flicks his hand to wave off the thrall and kneels before you, holding your hand wrought in gold.

“Most of their women are shieldmaidens.” He explains. “Torvi… Gunnhild… Amma. Shieldmaidens.”

You look down to your lap. “I’m no shieldmaiden.”

“I know,” he says. “And you know Ivar.”

Ivar who was torn at gazing at you, and, being harsh to his brother. There was a fire raging between them, and you never knew why Sigurd indulged his brother in fighting. Your husband was so envious, and yet, it was never something that you could tell Sigurd.

“Ivar said I was beautiful last time we met,” you say, pointedly. Sigurd growls audibly at the reminder as if he hadn’t been the one to fall on the floor fighting with his younger brother the last time that happened. After all, he was almost certain that Ivar said such a thing to get back at him! Why bother seducing his wife if he knew he could not even get it up to lie with her?

“Do you think he was lying?” you ask, almost wounded.

It’s been nearly ten years since he last saw Ivar. As he was constantly on the move and-- well, the family had not been able to reach a common ground until now. Now that Ivar was a king, a single king, Sigurd felt himself worrying.

“No,” Sigurd says. It would be the ultimate blow to his ego if he stole away his wife. “I’m sure he meant it.”

But who is to mean that he did not have ulterior motives? His stomach was in flips already. You reach out, caressing his fuller beard affectionately. There’s a certain amount of relaxation that comes with your fingers caressing his beard.

“You should enjoy Jul. It will be the first time you visit the temple! I can take care of Ivar, love.”

“Can any man take care of that-- snake,” Sigurd hisses.

“Maybe not a man,” you smile, prompting him to look curiously at you. “But maybe a woman.”

@float-autumn-leave, @huntingbears​, @lisinfleur​, @looneytunes20033​, @triumphantreturnofpies​, @sarcastic-mrs-scarlet​, @chewythecatus​, @vengefulflange​

[lisinfleur]

GUESS WHO’S BACK? WITH RANTS!!!

OOOOOOOOOK

This shit will contain A LOT OF SPOILERS. So, if you didn't see episodes 5, 6 and the trailers for 7, then... WTF are you doing in this fandom uh? GO - WATCH - IT!

Ok, later rants! I took some time away - that I'll explain soon! - but today I finally found a way to watch episode 5 and episode 6 of Vikings and now, the trailers with the goodbyes we just saw in my timeline. So, time to speak! I'll try to resume it because fuck! Things got huge too fast! So, let's start small...

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Dear Torvi Poor woman... She's passing through so much loss. Björn's betrayal, her first son, her second child, now Lagertha... Man, for the gods' sake! Someone please let me hug this woman! She needs it! And yet, she was wise enough to spit some truth on Ingrid's face... Torvi matured a lot from that child we used to think was so fluffy when trying to convince us she was Viking. She grew into a strong woman, able to endure things that many others wouldn't have with a whole mind. I have to clap my hands and admit that Torvi evolved into a whole new character and if there is someone to """replace""" Lagertha in this show, it will be her.

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Ingrid Speaking of replacements... Am I too cruel to say I laughed out loud of this woman at the docks waiting for Björn like that? The honey-dick attacked again and the girl is melting for him. Poor sucker... To be honest, from all the women Björn cheated on, fucked and let go like trash in this series, Ingrid is the only one who I won't feel a single drop of pity for. She searched scab to scratch herself and now I'll sit and watch as she realizes her stupidity. Know your crime, pay your price. That's what I have for her.

_______

Harald Or should I say King Harald? Man, I have to say: Harald was low. It was pretty low to manipulate things the way he did to win that election over Björn's favoritism and he stroke pretty lower by going there to provoke inviting Björn to be his counselor that drunken way of his. Even more to order the killing of someone who risked its life to save his ass when he was locked by Olaf, trusting the word of a man that he barely knows (Flatnose will be pointed here too... that bastard!). But once again... Am I too cruel to say I laughed OUT LOUD the whole process of election?? Man, it was HILARIOUS to watch Björn's teeth clenching to every single vote Harald had over him! It was ORGASMIC to see all that arrogance of someone who carries nothing but his father's fame in his shoulders being dissolved by noticing daddy's fame won't hold his back anymore! Ragnar's name is fading - despite he'll always be a legend - and whether Björn starts walking for himself or his papa's actions won't hold his butt up forever! And Harald did me the beautiful favor of kicking that white blonde ass to see if Björn will wake up and become the man he should have become since the first episode of this series (To the ones who don't remember, Rites of Passage was the mark of HIS DAY TO BECOME A MAN and receive his armring). However, I think Harald screwed up and got tangled up with a bunch of bad promises he will somehow have to honor. The thirsty man is drinking seawater and will end up dehydrated. It is better for Harald to find a way to manage the whole Norway, or else, the King of All Norway will end up in a pole, impaled, like a beautiful flag for everyone to see...

_______

Gunnhild She looks miserable in the next episode, but her acting was beautiful during the battles. I just wanted we had seen more of the huge Gunnhild we were habituated to see. I felt they kinda lowered her light to put the spotlights on Lagertha for the scenes and I can understand the need for it to happen, but Gunnhild was really pale in these episodes and I hope Hirst doesn't follow this thread to wipe her off slowly until there is nothing of our precious Gunnhild to be seen. She's too huge to be forgotten or changed this way. I hope it changes in the next episodes.

_______

Amma I hope someone takes care of the bruise in her face cause fuck... Things didn't go well for this girl. She was delegated "two" Ragnarssons to protect. Magnus is dead. Hvitserk is doing shit. Poor girl is in bad sheets here... But more than that, I really would like to see her slapping Ubbe's face or stopping him from treating her as a slave. It's only me, or did someone else noticed how the bastard is ordering her around as if she was his fucking maid? She would be, imo, the perfect person to throw some truth in this man's face cause man... He's needing a slap. OHHH HE IS...

_______

Kjetil Flatnose You freaking fucking asshole motherfucker bastard son of a bitch! There are no words in the human language to define how big of a bastard you are! Man, I HATE THIS GUY and I hope Ubbe does one single fucking shitty thing right in his pitiful and dismissable life and KILL THIS ASSHOLE! PAINFULLY! There is not too much to be said about this asshole. I just want him to die. Slowly.

_______

Now... let's start with the big ones, right?

_______

Ivar x Igor Once again, I cannot tell you guys the size of the love I feel for these two and their relationship. Everything they do together, no matter how dangerous is it, seems to be a big huge game and Ivar seems to be having so much fun beside this boy that I can only pray the gods it lasts forever. Igor brought back a side of Ivar that we weren't able to see in years! A good side that I was missing so hard! I hope this boy doesn't stab him behind his back, cause if he does, then it will be the end of the Ivar we know and maybe that serpent Hvitserk fears so bad will come out for good...

_______

Ivar x Oleg (plus Katya?) Is it my impression or the bromance is over? I saw lots of sadness in Ivar's eyes (a point for Alex! Fuck, the boy is good!!) but something tells me that Oleg is messing with fire and will end up veeeery burned... He's playing with a recent wound, making it bleed again with that brunette bitchy version of Freydis and something tells me that Ivar will bury Freydis' memory along with Oleg's and Katya's bodies. And this will happen pretty soon... If I was him? I would destroy that mausoleum in front of Oleg's eyes and say things like "It's good for you to watch it" while breaking his ex-wife's statue in tiny little pieces (using Katya's face like a hammer, of course). But I'll wait and see. Ivar's plans will surely be better than mine!

_______

Alex Yes, Alex, not Ivar. The boy deserves a whole topic only for him. It is not that I'm surprised, I'm not. Alex has been proving himself an amazing actor since he first dragged himself on screen as Ivar the Boneless for me. With Adrian and Jacup and Viktor and even that crazy-ass Liam, he already had proven himself a multitalented artist and a phenomenal actor able to conquer our hearts with any kind of character. But I have to point out that his expressions as Ivar are absolutely incredible! He can pass complete feelings and whole threads of thoughts without a single word! I can only congratulate him for such a beautiful job! The same goes for the actor who plays Igor. Boy... you rock!

_______

Björn More momma's boy than never, boy is being forced by the gods to raise his butt up from other people's backs and walk by himself. BEAUTIFUL! I cannot say how happy I am by seeing Björn finally being slapped by reality: papa and momma's fame won't hold your butt up forever, bitch! Grow fucking up, grow some fucking balls and go fucking make your own shit! And I'm not here saying he didn't shit in the whole series. He did, but all he did since this series started was under the weight of his father's name. Björn Ironside, SON OF RAGNAR. It was always something heavier than anything else in his life and now, whether he raises his own name before his blood history or he'll end up fading quicker than his shadow. Yes... shadow. Cause that's what Ubbe has become... I just really wanted him to stop this drama and to remember that mommy was murdered by one of his brothers who had THEIR MOTHER murdered by his mommy, so it was a fair death, a fair kill. No one should be allowed to punish Hvitserk for this especially because the woman would die anyway! Hvitserk shouldn't even be guilty of her death since Whitehair had warranted she wouldn't see a new sunrise before Hvitserk's hallucinations would end up getting his hands dirty.

_______

Ubbe Who the fuck are you and where the fuck is my daddy? I cannot say he was brainwashed. Who paid attention to the details will remember pretty well the scene when Ubbe, Hvitserk, and Sigurd were speaking right after Hvitserk arrived from the trip to the Mediterranean Sea. They discussed about Ivar's need for avenging their mother and Ubbe was clear saying they would have to kill Björn to reach Lagertha and that's was something he didn't want to do. Ubbe gave up avenging their mother as soon as Björn arrived in Kattegat. But there were better ways for him to show his will to avoid fighting his brother without adopting his stepmother and forgetting all the shit she did like that! He could have accepted fighting beside her with caveats, leaving clear he was there to go against Ivar not to support her. He could have left clear that he was there because of Torvi and Björn, not because of her. He could have rejected Lagertha without creating any problems within him and Torvi as long as he was able to put his own mind out through those beautiful lips saying clearly that he was giving up on the fair revenge because he loved Torvi and didn't want to fight his older brother. But no. He just forgot everything, started treating Lagertha as if she was his mother and now he'll bid her the farewell we didn't see him bidding to his own mother! What kind of an asshole does this shit? And for the ones who want to come here ranting about how shit of a mother Aslaug was, I would like to remember that she starting being a shitty mother AFTER IVAR WAS BORN! This means Ubbe lived THE BEST of her motherhood longer than ANY OTHER OF HER SONS! He had a fucking perfect mother and he didn't have the respect to keep himself away from her murderer once he chose to respect his loyalty to his brother and avoid killing her. I lost all my respect for Ubbe in this season and I cannot say I'll ever be able to really respect him again. Not only he left Margrethe to die (she was ambitious? yes. She was crazy? Yes, but she was HIS WIFE and HE SWORE THE GODS he would protect her!) but he abandoned Hvitserk when he most needed his older brother making himself unable to forgive a simple bad action when worse things were forgiven in his heart, he mistreated the woman that is beside him and declared to go wherever he goes for love by using her loving words against her to keep her from looking after her children's safety, he's mistreating and disrespecting Amma who's a free woman by treating her as if she was his personal maid and his brother's babysitter throwing on her the responsibility of taking care of Hvitserk that should be his own... Ubbe disappointed me so many times in so many ways that he must thank the gods he's played by Jordan and I love Jordan, otherwise, I would have no reason not to spit on his face at all!

_______

Hvitserk Speaking of pain, there is a picture of Hvitserk beside this word on the dictionary. Shit, he's so hurt, so pulled down, so ragged, so disposed. Poor him is walking around like a ghost himself! I wish so much Amma wasn't so afraid of taking pulse in this situation, but I cannot blame her. She fears she would fail and Ubbe would be harsh on her so she doesn't go further than calling Hvitserk's attention or his name to wake him up. But the truth is that someone should put this boy in its lap, hug him tight, and never let him go. The gods are being harsh on him breaking him in tiny pieces and offering him to Fenrir's jaw to be chewed. I really hope now that he fulfilled his "purpose", he can find a way out of this endless well of self-destruction or, at least, he can start walking for himself once again. It pains my heart to see my beautiful puppy like this. I hope he gets better from now on...

_______

Marco Once again, a topic for another actor that fully showed his talent here! I've seen other works with Marco, like Kriger and Fasandræberne, and his talent is undeniable, but the interpretation of a man in pieces he's offering us is really perfect! He plays with the scenes of Hvitserk's addiction amazingly not only showing the eagerness for more drugs but the perfect portrait of how this doesn't really change his fear or pain and even more the way Hvitserk keeps longing for more, searching for relief and numbness while hiding all those traumas behind his bloodshot eyes. Marco is a complete show all by himself and I can barely wait to see more of his amazing work around the world.

_______

And to finish... Lagertha I didn't like her. Everyone here knows I started disliking Lagertha when she cowardly killed Aslaug in a murder that shouldn't exist. There was no need for her to back shot Aslaug like that especially because that battle was won. Some understood that she gave Aslaug "safe passage" to find her son in Valhalla since Aslaug thought Ivar was dead along with Ragnar. But for me, there was no reason for Lagertha to go further and kill Aslaug like that especially when she could have used many other ways to get what she wanted. Yet, I always admitted and will admit until the end that Lagertha was a hell of a character: a shieldmaiden and a strong woman who could have a better ending after all. Despite the fact that I'm still here trying to figure out how did Björn reached the adult life with her TERRIBLE pieces of advice for children, she was a huge character and I think she deserved to die better than being murdered in the middle of nowhere like a homeless woman by a drugged rag of a man. She was a shieldmaiden. She was the most famous shieldmaiden of her age. She deserved to have died by that wound Whitehair made and her death should be more than just an emotional moment. Now her beautiful and epic fight with Whitehair will fade face to the anger Björn will drive towards Hvitserk. He won't learn from his mistake because, in his head, Hvitserk killed his mother and not Whitehair - who was her actual murderer. Lagertha was fated since she left that battle and Hvitserk was nothing but an accelerator of a destiny that was already sealed. She would die. He just made it quicker. We can even say if we look straight that it was almost a mercy kill. I didn't like her end but I have to say that battle against Whitehair was phenomenal so I'll close my eyes to the rest and believe she died strong and majestically after that fight, as the hero who saved that village from the bandits. And not like a homeless old woman, thrown like trash in the middle of the square, under the rain, murdered by a drugged rag of a man, forgotten in the middle of the mud. She was pretty more than just Ragnar's wife - so I wasn't touched by the words towards this. She was pretty more than just a woman... And I was expecting a better ending for her - and also, something better than hallucinations for Hvitserk to fulfill his destiny.

Let's see... Episode 7 is coming and I can't be more excited!!! The series is doing some shit, but it regained my excitation for good and I cannot wait for next week's episode!

[serasvictoria]

🔥 + urge + Amma, please?

This is kind of a follow-up to this story, that I combined with something that I have been unable to get out of my head for a while so enjoy?

*****

When you have an itch, ‘tis easy enough to scratch.

Amma is not the kind of person to deny herself anything when she has a certain craving. It was the filling of said urge that could sometimes be a bit of a problem however. If she was looking for a fight, it was easy. Plenty of assholes around that deserved to get punched in the face repeatedly. All you had to do was take one step outside to find one. That part was easy. But certain things couldn’t be suggested quite as easily.

“You interested in having a threeway?”

Didn’t really work now, did it? It could if you played your cards right, but it’s not the kind of thing that one can casually throw into a conversation. Wasn’t as if they had discussed it either. The relationship was too fresh for that, even if she was pretty sure that Gunnhild knew where she stood on such matters. They’d both slept with guys before, but her girl’s problem was that she had been subjected to some very tragic dick for a long time.

Now that had definitely come up in discussion before. How the guy in question hadn’t given her a decent orgasm in a long time and that she had been forced to finish herself off as soon as he had fallen asleep.

If you asked Amma, that shit was simply unacceptable.

What her girl needed was a spectacular lay, a guy that would be able to give her a dickdown of a lifetime. Amma’s treat. Think of it as a nice surprise. She’d even tie the guy up with a big red bow just to make it extra special.

But you had to be subtle about these things and if there was one thing that Amma lacked, it was subtlety.

The key in the lock was the first thing that she heard. Now it was a case of making it look accidental, like she had been interrupted and had forgotten the time.

Literally caught with her hand down her underwear.

It was easy enough. Since she’d been thinking about it all day and was so aroused that her fingers practically glided through her wetness. On any other occasion, she might have gotten slightly embarrassed that it was even this easy, but she was a girl on a mission at the moment.

She had her legs splayed open and pointed right at the bedroom door, ensuring that it would be the first thing that was visible as soon as it was pushed wide open. The footsteps halted right outside, from the moment that she started moaning a name. She did it again just to make sure, choking on the syllables when she felt the muscles in her legs contract and spasm.

The door was finally pushed open, far too casually for her liking and even if she made eye contact with the blonde that was now leaning against the doorframe with her arms folded in front of her chest, she moaned out the name one more time at the exact moment that she climaxed.

A laugh escaped from Gunnhild’s lips and she sat down on the edge of the bed, right next to Amma. “That was not my name,” she said with a low voice as she grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand out of her underwear. “You couldn’t wait until I got home?”

“Oops?”

“You’re such a bad liar.” Gunnhild pinched her wrist, but not hard enough for it to actually hurt. “I have a feeling that I was supposed to find you moaning Ubbe Lothbrok’s name just now.”

“Alright, you caught me,” Amma flashed her a grin and sat up. It was important that she could look right at her face as she continued. “It was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Weird surprise.”

“Hear me out for a sec, G.” She grabbed her hands and kissed her knuckles. “I was gonna invite him, alright? But I didn’t want you to feel like I was forcing you into anything.”

“You do realise that I used to see him every time Bjorn could be bothered to attend a family get-together.”

“And who do you think Ubbe was texting during those soirees?”

“Little minx.” Gunnhild’s smile was affectionate and she pressed their foreheads together for a brief moment. “Let's say I’m into this idea. Hypothetically. What happens next?”

“Yes!” Amma managed to stop herself from punching the air, but only just. At least her enthusiasm made Gunnhild laugh. “It’s easy really. We invite him round. That’s it.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Amma knew that Ubbe would be more than up for it. All he needed was one text. That was what it usually took. “Are you okay with this?” The answering nod from Gunnhild was almost shy and it made Amma steal a quick kiss. She leaned back and grabbed her discarded phone from the pillow. “Lean into me a little.” The blonde did as she asked and they took a couple of selfies before picking one which she promptly sent to Ubbe. “And now we wait.”

It only took a couple of minutes for Amma to get a reply and when she saw Ubbe’s reply, she couldn’t help but laugh. All that he had sent back in reply was a two word text and a picture. The text simply said ‘movie night’ and the picture was one of Hvitserk Lothbrok who was doing his best sad puppy expression. Gunnhild had come back into the bedroom as soon as she had heard Amma laugh and the phone was immediately passed to her.

Before Amma even had a chance to say something about it, Gunnhild had already opened her mouth. “It would be cruel not to invite him as well.”

“I guess it would be. We wouldn’t want Hvitserk to get lonely.”

She thought that Gunnhild would send a text back, but she reached out to cup Amma’s breast only so she could take a picture of it and then the phone was back in her hands as soon as she was done with it. The picture looked pretty damn sexy, hard to turn down, but it was still accompanied by the words ‘You’d rather watch a movie when you could be doing this?’

The reply that came back was a lot faster this time round and it popped onto the screen only seconds after Amma had her phone back.

We’ll be there in five minutes.

“You know,” Amma said as she got to her feet, not bothering to put a pair of pants on since it would only get removed as soon as the boys were here. “If they want to watch a movie that bad, I’ve got something that they might like.”

“Like what?” Gunnhild watched Amma walk into the living room, open the cabinet underneath the tv and rummage around between the DVDs and blu-rays. Amma made a triumphant noise as she held a blank CD case in her fingers. “What’s that?”

It didn’t look particularly interesting and Gunnhild didn’t recognize it either. She’d never seen that particular movie before, so it must have been somewhere behind the stacks that Amma had shoved into it.

“It’s a classic.” The grin on Amma’s face was nothing short of wicked and Gunnhild snorted as soon as she saw the title that was scribbled onto the surface with a black felt tip pen. “Okay, so the title sucks…”

“You called it ‘One Night in Gunnhild’. That’s the worst title.” There was a smile tugging at the corner of her lips that made Amma wrap an arm around her waist and lean in closer to her. “It’s also not true. If I remember correctly, it was several nights.”

“I was going to call it ‘The Lost Weekend’, but my mother likes that movie. Imagine her accidentally grabbing it.” They’d gotten up to all kinds of shit when they jokingly decided to make that sextape to begin with. “Not exactly something that you’d want your mother to see.”

“I don’t know,” Gunnhild said with a shrug. “Your mother always liked me.”

“Not enough to watch a movie of you sitting on my face.” Amma slapped her arm with a laugh. “But I’ll ask her if she wants to see it when she comes round next weekend. Maybe she’ll surprise me.”

Without saying a word, Gunnhild switched the tv on and then the blu-ray player. Amma already had the remote in her hand when she put the disc in, pressing play as soon as she could. The first thing that they heard over the speakers were their giggles along with Amma’s shaky camera work that seemed unable to focus on anything in particular at first.

“Gods, I was so young back then,” Gunnhild remarked when her face popped into view, a big smile on her face and blowing a kiss at the camera. “And pretty.”

“You still are.” Amma stood on her tiptoes to nuzzle her nose against her neck. “Remind me never to work in the movie industry. I can’t even stop the camera from shaking.”

“I think that was because I had my hand down your underwear.”

“Was that it?” It had been ages since she’d even seen this dumb video that had been shot with a cheap camera that had been bought on a whim. “I think it gets better when I put it on the bedside table.”

“Does it? I can’t remember.” Gunnhild tilted her head to the side when the camera lurched sideways, turning the image on its side. “Now that’s just… what the fuck.”

“What the hell was I even thinking when I bought that thing?”

“At least we were enjoying ourselves.” That much was definitely apparent. The sound of their laughter had not died down from the moment that it had started playing. “But I can see why we never made another one.”

“I only had one hand free whenever I was holding it,” Amma replied with a groan of embarrassment. “It sucked ass.”

“It wasn’t that-“ Gunnhild’s sentence was cut off by the doorbell. Amma let out an excited squeal and turned to her girlfriend to ask if she was ready. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“You deserve this, sexy.” Amma husked in her ear when she pulled her down to press a kiss against her jaw. “At least Ubbe and Hvitserk know how to please a woman.”

“You’ve been with Hvitserk as well?”

“Duh!” The brunette said as she pulled away from her. “Both of them at the same time!”

Gunnhild shook her head, her eyes glued to the screen once more while Amma headed into the hallway to open the door for their visitors. She heard her say something about not wanting to ruin their movie night when they entered and that she had dug out a “real scorcher of a movie” that they could watch together.

“You guys are in luck,” Gunnhild said when they entered the living room, briefly noting how Hvitserk was already palming Amma’s ass when they paused on the threshold. “Miss Spielberg over there just put the camera on solid ground so at least it’s watchable from here on out.”

The younger Lothbrok narrowed his eyes at first and then apparently squeezed Amma’s ass a bit too hard when he realised what he was watching. His hand was slapped away from her behind and he immediately started apologising for what he had done.

“What’s this?” Ubbe inquired when he moved in to stand next to Gunnhild. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen this movie.”

“It’s an underrated classic,” she replied with a grin. She looked over her shoulder just in time to see Hvitserk push Amma up against the wall. “Or so I’ve been told.”

“And it looks like one of the leading ladies is standing next to me.”

“You’ll be asking for my autograph next.”

“I’ll definitely be asking for something.”

“Oh?” She looked at him with raised eyebrows. “Like what?” His hands hovered over her for a moment, not quite touching her just yet, not until he’d asked her if he could, even if it was highly unlikely that she was going to refuse him. Might as well speed things up a bit. “You going to touch me or what?”

That earned her a grin in response and then she finally felt his hand on her. He ran it down her arm at first and then down her side, fingertips skimming the curve of her breast.

“You honestly have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for,” he breathed into her ear as he squeezed her ass.

“You can tell me all about it,” Gunnhild replied when she turned her head to press her lips against his. “We’ve got all night…”

[serasvictoria]

Wrote this for @doctorwhoandfairytaillover’s Short and Sweet Challenge! Hope that you’ll like it! And congrats again with your milestone!

And thanks to @adrille88 for confirming that this was indeed short and sweet ❤️

All images from Pinterest

Pairing: Hvitserk x OFC

Word Count: 758 (very short for me!)

Notes: This is an OFC that will definitely feature in other things as well by the way, so you guys had better get used to her.

*****

With an old magazine in hand, he desperately tried to waft the smell of burnt toast out of his kitchen. This definitely wasn’t how Hvitserk had envisioned this morning to go.

Last night was a bit of a blur, but waking up this morning sure was a surprise. After that, he had made a vow to himself to try and make a lasting impression, but this wasn’t what he had been aiming for at all.

“What are you doing?”

Hvitserk could hear the mild amusement in the voice behind him and when he turned around he actually swallowed heavily when he took her in.

The messy short pink hair was the first thing that caught his eye and then her blue eyes. Her eyeliner must have looked perfect last night, but right now it was a smear over her eyelids that only seemed to highlight them. Then those heart-shaped lips which looked awfully kissable. She was wearing one of his shirts, one that had been plucked out of his ‘wash’ pile, and he could just about see a flash of her blue striped underwear underneath.

Yep, he’d definitely gotten very lucky last night.

“I was… erm… making breakfast.”

“Not very well from the looks of it,” she replied. She walked over to where he was standing, slid in next to him and held up the blackened toast. “My favourite.”

“Is it?” Hvitserk sounded hopeful that he might have done something right here.

“No,” she said with a laugh. “But I appreciate the effort.”

“Oh.” He looked down at the floor, thinking that he had fucked up, only to be surprised when she pressed her lips against his cheek instead. The corner of his mouth ticked up instantly. “What did you do that for?”

“For this,” she gestured at the mess that he’d made. The scrambled eggs that he’d been picking eggshells out of, the orange juice that was getting horribly close to being past the sell by date. “Now why don’t you sit down and let me handle it, hm?”

He let himself get shooed away by her to one of the high chairs at the breakfast bar. It was the best view in the house from which to watch her work, this perfect stranger who had been hugging him ever so tightly when he had woken up this morning.

She moved through his kitchen with confidence, pulling open his fridge and studying the contents. New eggs were taken out, broken into a bowl and whisked with an ease that indicated that she’d definitely done that before. Her nose crinkled as she sniffed the contents of a bag of grated cheese in the most adorable manner and deemed passable before being added to the mixture.

It was almost as if she owned the place and he briefly wondered whether he had taken her home before, but no, he couldn’t have. He’d definitely remember a girl like her.

Grabbing the plates that he had already set out, she spooned the scrambled eggs onto it and handed him a plate. She looked at him expectantly as he shoved a spoonful into his mouth and then a huge grin formed on his lips.

“This is good,” he replied with a full mouth that would earn him a stern stare from his mother if she had been present. The girl breathed a sigh of relief. “Really good.”

He scarfed down his food and when he looked at his empty plate with disappointment, she actually gave him her portion. Actually gave it to him! Didn’t matter how much he said that she didn’t have to, she insisted on it. So who was he to say no to such a sweet gesture?

The only thing that was on his mind when she handed him her plate was something that Ubbe had once told him. About that time when Gunnhild had first introduced him to Amma. How he just knew.

Sentimental bullshit.

That’s what Hvitserk had called it at the time. Ubbe and Amma had gotten together shortly after Hvitserk had another one of his monumental break-ups with Margrethe, one that had stuck for a change. So Hvitserk hadn’t been that keen to believe his older brother back then, but he sure believed it now.

“Can I ask you one thing though? And please don’t take this the wrong way?” She looked up at him, a slight crease forming on her brow. “What’s your name?”

Her laugh in answer was melodic and only sucked him in deeper.

“Kitty,” she said. “My name’s Kitty.”

*****

Tagging: @ritual-unions-gotme @quantumlocked310 @punkrocknpearls @grimeundglow @istorkyou

[therealvikingstrash]

Masterlist

-New and improved-

As you can see, I decided to give those fics some new order! 

Brotherly-feels:

The Gods will show you - G - Ubbe x Hvitserk - 3,350 Words

Drawing was made by me

Salvation in Gold - M - Ubbe x Hvitserk - 5,600 Words

Drawing by yours truly

Missing Family - M - Hvitserk x Ivar - 1,750 Words

Dream a little Dream - G - Ubbe x Hvitserk x Ivar - 2,670 Words

Chasing away Ghosts - T - Ubbe x Hvitserk - 6,640 Words 

Honeyed Truth - M - Ubbe x Hvitserk - 4,018 Words 

Ragnarsdottir - T - Aslaug, Ubbe, Trans!Hvitserk - 2,243 Words

Our Promise - G -  Æthelred x Alfred - 683 Words 

My entry for @doctorwhoandfairytaillover Short and Sweet Challenge

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Sad fics:

No one’s Father - G - Hvitserk x Ivar - 1,160 Words

Brokenhearted - M - Ubbe x Hvitserk - 976 Words

My Fate lies with You - M - Ubbe x Hvitserk - 3,074 Words

Ones Mercy is another's Death Sentence - T - Bjorn x Ubbe x Hvitserk - 1,470 Words

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Follower Celebration:

69 Follower Celebration - E - Hvitserk/Reader 

333 Follower Challenge Masterpost

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Mythological Creature AU:

Of Sharp Teeth and Hunger - E - all Ragnarssons - 7,733 Words

inspired by this post from @serasvictoria

Jörmungandr would be Jealous -  E - Sigurd - 1,380 Words 

@quantumlocked310 made this awesome Moodboard for this story 😍 check it out 💕

Sated Hunger and Regret - E - Hvitserk x Ubbe centric

Moodboard by our talented @quantumlocked310

A Mother's Love - E - Aslaug & Ivar - 3,660 Words 

Children of the Night - M - Ubbe, Hvitserk, Ivar, Sigurd - 5,226 Words 

This isn’t related to the Lovely Monsters Series, they’re all Vampires here

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Smut (F/M, M/M, F/F):

In and Out - I - II - III(1/2) - III(2/2) - IV - Hvitserk/Reader/Ubbe, Ivar/Heahmund - 17,000 Words

Inspired by really awesome moodboards from @flowers-in-your-hayr ! 

Gifts and Jewelry - E - Ubbe/Aud - 5,149 Words 

Kings of Kattegat - E - Ubbe/Amma/Hvitserk - 39,862 Words 

This was my entry for the @vikingsbigbang2022

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Requests:

Spilled Wine - E - Alfred the Great/Ubbe Lothbrok -  1,490 Words

Moodboard and Gifs made by me

Love is a Battlefield - E - Alfred/Ubbe - 3030 Words  

Moodboard is my abomination  

 A Painful Smile & Love Confessions - G - Ubbe/Eydis(OFC) - 1,710 Words 

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Prompts:

I don’t break easily - E - Ivar/Reader - 1,180 Words

Worth the Injury - E - Ivar/Heahmund - 757 Words 

You Better Not Come - E - Hvitserk/OFC - 1,528 Words

The Night Sky - E - Ubbe/Eydis(OFC) - 3,272 Words 

Ribbon - E - Hvitserk/Master - 2,248 Words

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Gen, Fluff & Humor:

The Sound of Jealousy - G - Sigurd centric - 450 Words

Lessons Learned with Lothbrok & Sons - Hvitserk/Reader -  4,700 Words

This story exists because of this post and the discussion going on there.

Flat Violins and Football Tricots - M - Alfred King/Ubbe Lothbrok - 2,900 Words

@flowers-in-your-hayr is apparently my muse now 💕 her moodboard just ignited something in me again. Check it out!

Icy Winters and Soulmates - Gen - Gunnhild & Amma - 1,120 words

Entry to @doctorwhoandfairytaillover 600 Followers Challenge

Apple Traditions - Gen - Yidu/Þorunn

Entry for @ deans-ch-ch-cherrypie Winter Birthday Challenge

Like Father, Like Son - Gen - Ubbe & Ragnar jr - 728 words 

Death Awaits The Rude - M (for Violence) - Aslaug & Ubbe - 1,480 Words 

Irritating Shine - T - Yidu/Þorunn - 2,391 Words

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Incest-y:

Humiliation - E - Ubbe/Hvitserk - 1,413 Words 

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My Edits, Art, Moodboards and stuff:

How did we end up like this? Ubbe & Hvitserk Edit

Ubbe thinking of having lost Hvitserk Edit

Hvitserk & Ubbe Edit 

Dragonfly - Hvitserk/Ubbe digital art 

I set Fire to the World Edit - Ubbe, Hvitserk & Ivar

Growing Ego - Ubbe & Ivar edit

Hvitserk realizing he lost his back up, safety net and partner in crime Edit

A different kind of reunion - Ubbe & Hvitserk digital art 

Sleeping In, digital art - Hvitserk

Long Live The King Edit - Alfred & Æthelred

Mythological Creature AU Edit for Of Sharp Teeth and Hunger

Mythological Creatures AU Edit: Ubbe | Hvitserk | Bjorn | Ivar | Sigurd

Berserker Ubbe digital art

Berserker Hvitserk digital art

Merman Hvitserk digital art

Merman Lothbrok boys digital art

Cari the Mermaid digital fanart for Captainkilly's fic homeland, heartland

The Mirror Pool digital fanart of Ubbe and Cari for Captainkilly's fic homeland, heartland 

Æthelred & Hvitserk - digital art for issadoragreen

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Some of my works are also on AO3! 💕

[lisinfleur]

Episode three... Can someone PLEASE SLAP UBBE’S FACE? PLEASE???

Right...

...across...

...the face! 

To put those runes in his face back into its place and kinda wake his brain up! What the fuck!!! 

Here is my everyday rant about the episode and this one is FULL OF WRATH!

SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU WERE WARNED!!!

Ok, Jack the Ripper, let us put it here in parts... 

Ivar and Igor

Delightful relationship, but I think Ivar is building something that he won't be able to control for too long. Igor seems to have his own mind and Ivar is feeding it. I think he'll get what he wants about getting rid of Oleg but I also think he'll end up building the monster that somehow will show him that gods can bleed...

Ubbe x Hvitserk 

I hope Hvitserk gets clean, joins Ivar and KICKS UBBE'S BUTT! Ubbe is being a jerk just like he was about Margrethe! He's a jerk to anything he can't control and guess what? 

HE CAN'T CONTROL ANYTHING! 

So, he's being a jerk 100% of the time! I'm learning to hate him for good and if this continues I'll really have a problem writing for him... 

He was always a controller but it seems this season brought the worst of him out and I hope to see Ubbe being slapped by Hali's death to notice that not everything is what he thinks it should be and starts treating at least Torvi a little better. Poor woman...

I used to love this bromance... I cried when it broke but now? I think it was never a bromance! It was only Ubbe showing he was satisfied to have a puppy and now that the puppy grew up into an old dog, Ubbe is just doing what all the bastard owners do and abandoning his dog in the rain just because the old buddy cannot do what he wants anymore. 

I hope someone adopts this dog and gives him a good home so Ubbe can see it coming back to FUCKING BITE HIS ASS! 

Hvitserk 

He needs help. Desperately. 

He won't be able to go out of this endless well he put himself into without help and it saddens me to see he'll kill the only one who'll really try to help him - Amma will go forward and I believe he'll end up killing her and noticing this is what will make him stop.

Let us see... I just wanna see my puppy back or someone to do what his asshole of a brother doesn’t wanna do for him... 

Hali 

The child died for not being well raised. Period!

Lagertha gave him too much of "your father is Bjorn Ironside" and the boy got fed up with the "I have to be great and prove myself" too soon. 

He didn't "died for all of us" as she said! Hali died out of stupidity trying to make her proud and show himself "a Viking". And out of his father's stupidity of leaving Whitehair alive. 

I hope Whitehair dies a terrible death and I really hope Torvi can pass through this horrible situation but more than everything I hope this can be a beautiful slap on Ubbe's face to listen to people around him and give the damn attention Torvi needs. She was scared for her children and the selfish controller bastard is only thinking about himself. I hope Hali's death serves for her to slap his face with some reality and bring him back from this outburst of arrogance.

Lagertha 

How in the nine realms did Björn survive until adult life? 

Fuck me! Lagertha is TERRIBLE when it comes to teaching children! 

My whole spine got shivered when I heard the little Asa saying "I don't want to leave my brother" after what Lagertha said! 

Stay to defend the dead? For the gods' sake woman! You had a single work and it was to protect your damn grandchildren and what you did? Got one of them killed and are walking to kill the other! 

For all the gods and Odin's beard, FUCKING SEND SOMEONE TO KATTEGAT FOR HELP! 

It was needed Gunnhild to have a dream cause the gods must be like "Fuck... Send the queen there cause this old fucking hag won't ask for help by herself!"

She’s leading all those people towards a certain death just because she cannot admit she’s not their savior! She’s no one’s savior!  She cannot even save herself.

Gunnhild (gif to remember the good moments haha)

On the other hand, this one is my girl! 

I just LOVED how she didn't give a single fuck for Ubbe's "you're with Bjorn's child" and went there to check by herself what she wanted! The fuck I'm with child, boy, I'll do what I want! My body, my rules! SHE'S MY QUEEN!

I just hope Hirst doesn’t end up spoiling everything about her like he did to poor Torvi today... 

Torvi

I wanna hug her so hard...  She was so strong, but now, Ubbe is using her pregnancy and her mother’s instincts against her and it was so cruel!  The bastard is doing nothing but “paying back” the words she said with so much love, charging her to stay because she’s “his wife” when she was fully right on getting worried about her children.  I really want to see this poor woman passing through this situation with her son’s death and coming out of this stronger than before at least to put Ubbe in his place and show him he doesn’t fucking owns nobody! 

She may be with his child, but her life is hers and he knew pretty well she was already a mother when he came into her life! I hope she can force him to separate things and understand she may be his wife, but she’s Asa’s mother first and it must be respected!

Bjorn's scenes

Purely putting more meat into the sausage. Nothing really important except for Kjetil playing the old-mad-murderer here... I'll keep an eye on him just in case.

Olaf

What the fuck is wrong with this pig? Someone can please stop putting musshies in his mead? Thanks!

Harald

Poor man... Jez. He's seeing once again Björn having EVERYTHING he always wanted... Someone put him out of his misery, please...

Ubbe 

Yes, he deserves a WHOLE INDIVIDUAL RANT!

I want SO BAD to slap his face and give him the education his mother seems to have forgotten! 

What the fuck!? 

Fucking his brother, giving no damn to his wife's needs, ignoring his sister in law's worries and advice, debauching on it with that expressions after fucking putting himself into a conversation that WASN'T HIS! What the gods damn hell is wrong with Ubbe? Someone could please take Hvitserk's musshies and put it IN Ubbe's mead, please? I think he's better drunk and mouth shut! 

The crown seems to have taken his head and he's petulant and arrogant like a horse! I hope someone to slap him and put some reins in this stallion cause things are going really out of control here! 

Feeling better now. I think I can sleep XD

[honestsycrets]

Why do y’all want Lagertha to die so bad? She is still my favorite character. Honestly we hardly get characters like her on tv and I recently joined the Vikings fandom on tumblr and I was so surprises that she gets so much hate and for what? For Ivar? You can love both characters and quite frankly he’s the villain specially after s5 literally all of his brothers want to kill him. But she is good representation for women and you would rather she all the hot male cast, I don’t mean just you

Because you’re new to the fandom, and probably to my blog, you have no idea how much of an issue I’ve had with the representation of women on Vikings. It’s not right to put words in my mouth because I’m done with Lagertha.

Lagertha is a good character. I’ve loved her even more than Aslaug but my avatar is there for a purpose. To Hirst, the only good woman is a shieldmaiden. So I have Aslaug there for my love of all the women who weren’t.

However, I’ve written for Lagertha [ F x F ] and have no issue with her. However, she’s at the end of her life. Hirst has been leading us with Lagertha the same way that he led us with Ragnar. He’s riding her dry. It’s time for her to go– but not just for her sake, but for the sake of the remaining women on Vikings. I want to see them through.

After the ending of 5B, the only strong women we are left with (other than Aelswith) are the ones that join in Lagertha’s legacy, and are shieldmaidens, which you have to be to survive: 

Gunnhild, wife of Bjorn, shieldmaiden.

Torvi, mother of Bjorn’s children and in my belief, Lagertha’s successor.

Amma, shieldmaiden allied with Bjorn. 

It’s not a celebration of death for me, but a transition into a new reality for the women on Vikings in the last season. All of Vikings does not amount to Lagertha alone for women. Hirst has held onto Lagertha as the only female lead for so long while killing other potential women off like… say, Angrboda. I love Lagertha, more so as a representation of an older matriarch, but its time to put her to rest and in the last season, see the other women through.

A few tags for anyone that might want to weigh in on Lagertha’s life as you think this is a fandom issue:

@ivarsrideordie @laketaj24 @lisinfleur @alicedopey @naaladareia 

[therealvikingstrash]

@nothingtolosebutweight Aww! That is so sweet of you to say 💕 (sorry for the late answer) yeah, I wish he'd been king in the show as well 😩 he had such a presence that just begged to make him an authority figure. Much love for you comment, sweet! 💕

Kings of Kattegat

Author: @vikingstrash | Artist: @quantumlocked310, @underragingwaves

Rating: Explicit | Word count: 39,862

Warnings: Graphic Description Of Violence

Summary: Instead of leaving to find the Golden Land, Ubbe stays and fights alongside Bjorn. Soon it becomes apparent that his eldest brother won't survive the last attack, following Torvi to Valhalla. Ubbe takes on the burden as King of Kattegat and slowly, with Gunnhild's help, settles into his new role. As only caregiver for Asa, he accepts being her parent readily. With Kattegat thriving again- Ubbe and Amma finding a way to each other, their day-to-day routine is turned upside down once again with Hvitserk and Ivar's arrival.

Created as part of the Vikings Big Bang @vikingsbigbang2022