#amd I needed to prioritize my mental health as they will be just as happy living with him and the niblings

[noodlebutts]

No thoughts Only ⚽

[shitthehousessay]

 Alright, it took a day (albeit I haven't really had much of a chance to work on it), but it's finally done. Here's my responses to the 102 questions^^. I probably put too much personal info on this site lol.

I’m doing this on my laptop because of how long it is, but answers are under the cut. Hope you enjoy random tidbits about me!

--Zero (the [other] Ravenclaw)

1. What is their full name?

While I usually use and prefer Zero Ace as an online name, my irl name is Solomon.

2. Zodiac sign

Pisces

3. In detail describe how they look

I'm 5'10" with a build like Shaggy Rodgers. I'm about,,,, less than 120lbs (that's a guess really, it's probably way less or slightly more.). You ever see a cloud? Yeah, imagine one as black wavy/curly hair with red tips (natural, not dyed) that goes to about the bottom of my neck. Brown eyes, half philipino (no, I don't know any of the language), decent moustache, and I've been told by various people that they thought I was a stoner when they first met me.

4. How old are they?

I am 16

5. What clothes to they like to wear?

I don't really have any kind of set style either. I usually just go with whatever's comfy for me.

6. What’s their favorite piece of clothing?

I've got this really soft brown fake leather jacket that my dad got me about two or three years ago that I used to wear consistently, but I'm not sure if I have a 'favorite'.

7. Any piercings?

Nope

8. Do they have any other jewelry they wear?

I wear a Timex Ironman analogue watch that I got at Walmart a few years ago ('twas on sale) and a ring with a part that spins in the middle that I bought in like sixth grade at the Newseum in DC.

9. Any tattoos?

Nah

10. How old are they?

See above

11. What do they smell like?

Idk, disappointment probably

12. What are their four trinkets?

(I'm gonna do stuff on my school backpack for this one) -- I've got a Ministry of Magic keychain, a Pokeball keychain, a Spiderman keychain, and a Ravenclaw house emblem pin.

13. GOVERNMENT MANDATED FERSONA

Roomba with a knife taped to it

14. What kind of magic are they good at?

Accidental Procrastination, aka Time Travel

15. What kind of magic are they bad at?

Luck

16. Of the four, six or seven magical elements which are they most connected to? Four: fire,air water earth. six: fire,air,water, wood,earth, metal. Seven:fire, air, water, wood, earth, metal, aither.

Not sure if this is asking about choosing a single element or a group, so I'm gonna go with water.

17. What does their gateway look like prior to their memory loss? What does it look like afterwards?

(I'm not sure what this is asking)

18. Do they have a familiar? If they do. What type of animal is it? What is it’s name? Is it still around after they lost their memory?

I have an old yellow cat named Iris and he's pretty cool. We share birthdays and he's one year older than me.

19. Have they ever cursed someone?

I have tried and I will continue to try.

20. How do they handle those headaches/migraines?

I sometimes put headphones in and listen to ambience after taking some medicine, but on some of my bad days I just wait for them to pass, even when it takes a few hours.

21. What tarot card do they connect the most with?

I'm gonna be honest: I know next to nothing about tarot cards.

22. Where were they born?

Tennessee

23. What is their favorite color?

Like a light blue or teal. Specifically though? #41A9B8

24. What is their least favorite color?

This is a tough one. I'm gonna go with like a rusty brown

25. Are they right handed, left handed or ambidextrous?

Right handed

26. What were they like as a child?

This would take a while, but I was a little shit, imo. (Also, kinda hard for me to remember specifically rn)

27. What were their parents like?

My dad's okay, he's not the best but he's doing great. My mom? Well, let's just say my opinion of her has always been pretty decent of her up until around when 2018 started.

28. Do they have any siblings? If the answer is yes how many?

Yes, I have three half brothers, two on my mom's side (who I wish would die) and one on my dad's side.

29. Do they have any other relatives they are close with?

I've got a lot of aunts (dad's side) that I consider myself close with, along with a few cousins. There's also my Grandma and Grandpa (dad's side) that I love a lot. I also have a nephew who's about I wanna say 5 or 6 years old who's a blast to hang out with.

30. What are they afraid of?

Spiders kinda scare me. And a few things associated with low self-esteem that I don't want to mention here.

31. What do they identify as?

I am a Demi-Pansexual dude

32. Do they have any allergies?

None that I know of

33. Do they have any other medical problems?

I can't think of any specifics right now

34. What about mental health issues?

Depression and Anxiety both are self-diagnosed though. I'm waiting until after highschool, or until the age where I can legally keep things like those to myself without having to tell my parents, before I go to get them diagnosed

35. What’s that personal hygiene regimen like?

Showers at least once a day, twice if possible. Remember to try to brush your teeth, too.

36. Favorite rock or gemstone?

Amythest because it's my birthstone

37. Favorite tree?

Redwoods are pretty cool

38. Favorite type of weather?

Not too hot, not too cold and sunny and cloudless or overcast and rainy, depending on mood

39. Least favorite type of weather?

The type of cloudless hot day that just saps your energy away like nothing else

40. What is their favorite season? (remember winter is summer and spring is fall)

Winter

41. How many languages could they speak before the memory loss? How many do they currently speak?

English and very broken French

42. Do they sing or play any instruments?

I sing from time to time (albeit not very good) and I have an ocarina that I really want to take time and learn

43. What do they tend to joke about?

Self-deprecation is my go-to, then there's vine humor and some standup, then just nonsense humor (See: bORGER)

44. After a stressful day how do they relax?

Nap a bit, then some music and/or video games

45. Guilty pleasures?

Idk, I can't think of any. Sonic ‘06, maybe is the closest thing that I have to one.

46. idiosyncrasies?

I guess you could list a lot of the usual ADHD stimming methods. I also adjust my glasses from the side sometimes whenever I’m nervous/anxious or when I want to appear confident. Adjusting my watch on my wrist is also something that I do a lot. I know I have a lot more, but :/

47. How do they act when they first meet someone new? How quickly do they warm up to them?

I can be kinda timid and quiet. I usually try to listen in on conversations involving that person/people to try to find somethings that I can remember and use for initiating conversations, especially if it’s with stuff that I know a bit about. It usually takes two or three semi-long times amd well interactions spent with me for me to start being comfortable around other people. I don't warm up too quickly, unless if you can get through my barriers pretty well

48. In what order would they prioritize Love, fame, money, power, and knowledge?

Love, knowledge, money, power, fame

49. List four or more things they love to do

Draw, read, talk with internet friends, play video games, browse the internet

50. List four or more things they hate to do

doing boring and uninteresting school work, being an unnecessary nuisance, hearing about family drama, engaging in school drama

51. List five or more things they have said that sum up who they are

"I'm laughing my ass off rn because the program the state is using for EOC testing was apparently hacked so we aren't testing today, but when my class heard it almost everyone started looking at me and saying I did it." [...] "Meanwhile: I nearly tripped over my backpack"

"Oh good, we get to make memes of stuff in the Louvre for extra credit. Looks like my grade is about to rise drastically."

"I’m gonna go provoke this cult so I can get asks in my inbox"

“I stole this haircut from a lion”

"I have many problems"

52. How do they react to (both verbal and physical) conflict?

I'm a pacifist so I try to stay out of situations like that (They bring up too many negative memories and emotions for me)

53. What kind of bad habits to they have?

I have a lot of trouble with a perfectionist mentality. It gets me into a lot of sticky situations

54. What kind of character faults do they have?

What even is self-esteem/ self-worth/ self-love????? To me, my needs come last. Self-doubt out the wazoooooo. Tons of unresolved shit. That's barely even scratching the surface.

55. What’s their best trait in their opinion?

I try to have a lot of empathy for people and I want to make people happy, even if I’m not happy.

56. What do they think of their appearance?

I like mine, at least a bit.

57. How do they interact with people in a position of authority?

Honestly, it just depends on the person. If the person in question is a dick, you better believe I’m not going to react well to their face.

58. Who did they look upto as a kid?

Mostly like video game characters from games that I played.

59. How do they interact with kids?

I like kids pretty well.

60. Do they want kids of their own someday?

I don't know. I don't think I'm at a point in my life where I can answer that right now.

61. Are they religious? If so what god/goddess or gods/goddesses do they worship?

I'm agnostic

62. What do they think the meaning of life is?

Idk... Maybe... Self-discovery, in a way.

63. What would they want their last words to be?

There are three roads. Maybe omething meaningful, like "Thank you," maybe something vague and prophetic like, "You won't have to wait much longer," or maybe, just maybe, something like, "I'll be back bitches!!!"

64. What do they want to do before they die?

I want to make at least one game and book that people enjoy and that I will be satisfied with

65. What/how do they want to be remembered for after they die?

I would like to be remembered fondly by people who knew me.

66. How do they express affection?

I'm usually very asocial, so if I make an active effort to maintain communication with someone, then they usually mean something to me. I also send memes and stuff. Also, I try to open up a little more around people that I trust

67. What do they normally eat for breakfast?

It usually just depends on how much time I have in the morning. Can range from poptarts to a slice of toast between two pieces of bread to leftover pizza

68. Do they like spicy food?

Yeah

69. Favorite fruit and or vegetable?

Favorite fruit is probably mandarin oranges and my favorite vegetable is probably carrots

70. Do they like sweets?

On occasion

71. Do they drink alcohol? If they do, what do they act like when their drunk?

Nope, but probably like a damn fool

72. How do they take their tea/coffee?

I like sweet ice tea or maybe some herbal tea with a small bit of sugar or honey. As for coffee, I don't usually drink it, but I can drink it pure black or french vanilla

73. What food would they refuse to eat?

Most things that have a weird texture and/or smell

74. Is there anything they eat that most people would find unappealing?

You ever drink just straight sauces? Like A1 steak sauce or barbecue sauce? Yeah....

75. When going on the road what food could they not live without?

I need me some original ritz

76. What meal gives them a sense of nostalgia?

Not sure about nostalgia, but my school sells fresh-made chocolate chip cookies during lunch on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and I get them a lot when I'm having bad days

77. What do they do when no one’s around?

I sometimes sing and maybe hop around, but I usually just do stuff that I do when people are around (like browse tumblr)

78. How would they react if a prized possession got stolen?

Cry, feel numb, or go ballistic. There is no in-between.

79. What’s the first thing they would buy if they won the lottery?

A better computer, that's for sure

80. What would their favorite modern invention be?

The Nintendo Switch!!

81. In a new unfamiliar place what do they do?

Observe the surroundings from the sidelines before doing anything

82. Someone just threatened them what do they do?

It depends on the situation, but I either brush it off or I take precautionary measures (like a protective order if my life is being threatened)

83. A rather well rich looking woman just dropped her purse and didn’t notice. What do they do?

I might try to give it back.... after I check her wallet and get some cash as an award...

84. What’s the worst thing someone has said to them?

The one that sticks out the most is probably the time when one of my older half-brothers was yelling at me and said that if I ever wonder why people say that I act like a school shooter it's because I act like one most of the time (all this stemmed because I was frustrated over a book recommendation not posting and instead of letting me silently cool down, my mom and brother kept on talking crap about me and I decided to say "Just shut up for a few minutes").

Oh, but there’s also the time when I went with my dad to the divorce case’s hearing to testify against my mom and my brothers and the judge looked at me and said “You’re 16, right? In two  years, you’ll be 18. When I was 18 I was heading to war. So, if you’re gonna cry, go do it somewhere else because I don’t want anyone coming up here and being a crybaby in my courtroom.” That fucking stunned me when he said it.

 85. What is the strangest thing they’ve ever come across?

"can i hear your belly" has to be the weirdest and most unsettling direct message that I have ever gotten from someone who isn't a bot and it haunts me to this day

86. Someone just stole food from them what do they do?

I don't usually eat a lot, so if someone takes food from me I don't really care.

87. They meet a man at a crossroads. The man says they can have everything they’ve ever wanted. What happens next?

I would check to see if there was anything I want to make sure that my family and friends and people who are close to me that haven’t experienced mental illnesses like depression or anxiety to never develop any mental illnesses as long as they live, before anything.

88. As a child what would they say they wanted to be as an adult? ie. When I grow up I’m going to _______

My dream has always been and continues to be to become a successful video game developer and/or producer. I want to help create worlds to escape to when the real world becomes a bit too overbearing.

89. What’s their D&D alignment?

I consider myself a neutral good

90. What is the stupidest thing they’ve ever done?

Oof, that's a long list. Probably entering the crawlspace under my Grandma's house too fast and getting a part of my lower back pretty bad. Boy, did it leave a pretty big scar.

91. Have they ever got in trouble with the law or been arrested?

Nope

92. Do they know how to win a fight?

I like to think so. I'm not going to not play dirty if I feel like I'm in danger. Also try to use the environment to your advantage if possible.

93. Are they good at hand to hand combat?

I dunno. I doubt it, but I haven't really tried.

94. Have they ever stolen something?

I have, but really only minor things and only from people that I hate

95. Have they ever killed someone?

Not yet, :p

96. What/who do they find disgusting?

I can't look at stuff or pictures like decaying stuff (like dead stuff) without gagging

97. What upsets them the most?

Conflict mostly. The thought that I'm bothering people also does it. And I feel odd, to say the least about physical contact.

98. What anime character would they be?

I feel like maybe Fafnir (Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid) or either Shinra or Mikado (Durarara!) could fit me.

99. What disney character would they be?

I didn't really know about this one, so I asked a few of my friends and one of them [the one who actually answered my question with an actual Disney character] said that I remind them of Sora from Kingdom Hearts, on the grounds that I've "got a good heart" and I'm "always confused". It was the nicest thing I've heard all week^^

100. What monster would they be?

Knife-wielding tentacle

101. What mythological figure would they be?

Tbh, I don't know enough mythology off the top of my head to answer this question.

102. List three songs that you associate with them.

Hmm.... this one is very tough for me because there are different songs that define different points in my life... As for songs that kinda aren’t bound by specific points in my life, even if I haven’t known these songs all my life, I'm thinking that these could fit the best here:

ECHO (feat. GUMI) by Crusher-P

Simple Life by Fox Stevenson

Canonball (Mythos Remix) from Megaman Zero 3

Anyway, I hope you now know a little more about me now. Do what you will with the information, I guess  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . It’s really late for me and I’m really tired so I may go ahead and get some sleep for tonight. Have a good one everyone^^ !

[crypticarus]

yeah so because of recent events and all regarding sh/adam here comes this:

This is my last post on this topic.

Either way I tag them as #discourse from now on. I know I am personally very uncomfortable with discourse generally and this blog is dedicated to my art and I actually wanted to actively avoid any discourse. But this is a topic that hits closer to home I need to vent it out.

But mt opinion, long story short is: I pretty much despise Adam because he expected Shiro to choose Adam over his own happiness and so far hasnt done anything to redeem himself. Explanation under the cut.

So, as I mentioned in previous posts: fuck Adam. I'm not gonna dip any deeper into how I think Shiro deserves someone who will be able and happy to unconditionally support him and how I think that person is Keith and how much I love Sheith because of it. I'm not even gonna mention what Shiro deserves or Keith after this.

So, I watched episode 1 of the upcoming season and finally i feel better making a post about Adam now.

In the end, though, it didnt change anything on my previous opinion.

Adam's decision of not waiting for Shiro and leaving him because of the Kerberos mission and because he simply didnt have the mental energy to seeing someone he loves deeply suffer, is selfish but understandable. And there's nothing wrong in being selfish. Although even if obviously the stress people who have disabled beloved ones is nothing compared to what the disabled person has to go through, it doesnt change the fact that it's still stressful and everyone, whether disabled or not, has to decide for themselves what is best for their mental stability and health and if they want to put themselves through such stress or cant. Deciding that you cant doesnt make you evil. Wanting your loved ones to be safe and alive and well isn't wrong.

Still I cant go all "I love Adam!!!" and "he did nothing wrong!!" not because I'd be prioritizing Shiro anyway, but because of Adam's ultimatum and how Adam saw one option as the right and one as the wring one.

"Takashi, how important am I to you?". That's what Adam said. I dont remember how exactly Adam phrased it but after that he outright told Shiro that Shiro would have to choose between having Adam in his life or the Kerberos mission. Between someone who Shiro loved and wanted to be with for the rest of his life or a dream he obviously had devoted his whole life to, the dream of his life. Between Adam or winning the fight against his disability by not going down without a fight. Because we know that there was no hope for Shiro no matter how much he rests and all Shiro could do was decide what to do with his remaining time. (I have an idea of what Shiro's disease is, and if it is then I have some experience with it, which makes it all the more personal to me and makes me all the more angry at Adam and anyone who sides with him.)

And I know some people are okay with giving up their dreams or ambitions to be with their loved ones. Shiro obviously isnt that person though.

Shiro was disabled. Shiro knew it was a miracle he had come this far anyway despite his disease (Adam did say Shiro already broke all sorts of records) and he wanted to go further. He didnt want to stop already. To Shiro it probably felt like giving up to his illness if he had stopped. As a disabled person giving up to your illness is the ultimate defeat. Personally, I'd much rather die. Adam KNEW how much value the Kerberos mission had, that this is the last chance Shiro would get. Yes, it was a life-threatening mission, but Shiro would rather die than give up to his disability, or so it seems to me.

Think about what a miserable life that would be to Shiro. Think about how depressing that would be. Adam would rather see Shiro alive but miserable with no real chance of recovery than what? Dead? No, because no one would want Shiro as a pilot if they thought he wouldnt make it back alive enough and able enough to safely pilot them back. They wouldnt even have considered him, but obviously they did. So Adam would rather have Shiro in regret and miserable surrender for his last few years before the disability kicks in full than achieving his ambitions and being happy and proud. And all because of being selfish? All because ADAM didnt wanna be alone? I would get it if Adam's concern would be that Shiro wouldnt pilot them all back safely, but that obviously isnt Adam's real concern here if he starts iff1 with "Takashi how important am I to you?".

That's what rubs me so wrong with Adam, that's why I really hate him, to be honest. I'm not saying he's evil or a person you should hate and demonise. Adam is just human. But honestly? What does it tell me about you if you absolutely adore Adam after thats all we get from him and you think he did nothing wrong in wanting Shiro to give up his ambitions for him? What does it tell me about you that you'd want Shiro to come back to earth to Adam, who gave up on Shiro? That you'd want Shiro to regret leaving Adam, regret not giving up on himself? If you dont think Adam needs to apologise and redeem himself, if you think Shiro is in the one in the wrong-

If it weren't for the ultimatum, I wouldnt hate Adam. If Adam had just said he couldnt bear seeing Shiro suffer then I would let Adam go like that. If Adam had said he thought the mission is too risky and he couldnt bear waiting for Shiro to come back, I wouldnt judge Adam. If we meet Adam again and he apologises for his outburst to Shiro and means it, Adam redeems himself in my eyes. I still wont like him and I still dont think he's deserving of Shiro. I still wont want them to be together because I think if Adam didnt have the strength to be with Shiro with his disability until the end, then how can Adam be sure to be able to be with Shiro now that he's scarred (both literally and figuratively) from a galactic war Adam hadnt been there to experience and therefore couldnt ever truly comprehend the consequences of?

Adam isnt truly evil for what he said. Evil is a much stronger word I reserve for truly evil people. Because people say bad things under stress, say things they dont mean or regret, voice their thoughts in a wrong way all the time. Or sometimes they mean what they say but think better later, realise their mistakes and make things right. Stress does that to you. But owning up to it is what counts. Owning up to the consequences, owning up to people not liking you for that anymore or leaving you or outright avoiding you and despising you, that's what makes you a good person.

You can tell me all you want how Shiro should think about how his actions make other people feel. That he should have considered Adam's feelings and think twice about the Kerberos mission. Amd I hope he did. If not that was wrong of him too. But we all have to make our choices and decide when to be selfish or not. When to prioritise ourselves over other people. When you have to leave people for the sake of ourselves. Being selfish all the time is obviously not a good way to go, but leaving your life completely up to others and only living for other people's sake and be miserable for it isnt either. If you're going to live to make others happy then do it only if it actually does make you happy, too. Shiro wouldnt have been if he had. He knee that. Or maybe he would have been anyway, but neither decision would have been wrong of him.

Shiro risking his life to achieve his ambitions was part of his fight against his disability. It was part of not giving up. Adam couldnt respect that. He disrespected Shiro's struggles not by leaving Shiro but by forcing Shiro to choose between him, or winning that fight. Thats why I think Adam did something extremely wrong. I hate Adam because I hate people who prioritize themselves over people's recovery and happiness, expect people to, and then have the nerve to not even regret it.

In retrospect it wasnt really Adam giving an ultimatum to Shiro that was wrong. It was Adam expecting Shiro to choose him and get angry at Shiro for choosing his own happiness over Adam's.

Again, if Adam regrets it and owns up to, apologises, then I will hate him less. I will still dislike him, but I wont think he's a bad person. But so far that's not what we got and until we see that I wont think Adam did.

So miss me with all your pro-Adam and Sh/adam or A/dashi posts. Miss me with all the "voltron better end with a reunion and a wedding between them!". It makes me truly uncomfortable to see it. Im not bashin on the pairing either, you can ship whatever you like. I dont think people who like Adam or want him to get together with Shiro again are bad people because of that. I dont think people who understand and not dislike Adam because of his actions are either. I wont hate on people if they dont understand why this is my opinion or simply didnt take the step of spending all that much thought on the morality and seriousness of it. But man am I uncomfortable with people who take Adam's side.