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i-am-a-chubby-girl · 1 month ago

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Y/N was always confident, she didn't care what others said about her because she promised she would never be put down by anyone again, but sometimes she cares, she cares too much and today is one of those times. On Amazon Lily, an island ruled by strong and proud women, Y/N finds herself surrounded by everything she feels she is not. Then her self-esteem, already weakened by the scars of slavery, begins to crumble, when she realizes that there was someone much better for her boyfriend than her. Consumed by insecurities that refuse to be silenced, Y/N faces herself.

So, I wanted to write something for JJK's Toji, but then this idea stuck in my head and I had to write it, and it ended up being huge. Sorry about that, it's over 10k! Anyway, this one-shot is part of a longfic of mine. Do I have anything written about it besides this one? Yes and no. Have I written it on my computer? No. Do I have it all ready in my head? Yes! Well, English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes! That said, I hope you enjoy it and have a good read!

Title: Insecure, insecure! Words: 12,489 I wrote this while listening to: House With No Mirrors by Sasha Sloan, because this song reminds me of insecurity, I don't know!

WARNINGS: Mention of blood, torture and rape, that last part is implied, you have been warned!

THE SUN SHONE BRIGHTLY in the Calm Belt sky, you and your crew ran from one side to the other preparing to dock, you had been on the Sunny for a whole month, no island in sight, all the food stocked had run out, obviously, and the only interesting things to do were fishing and training, but you didn't really like the latter because you were always paired with Zoro and he never took it easy. You took a breath as you stared at the outline of Amazon Lily starting to appear on the horizon, you had never been there before, all you knew about it came from the little you managed to read in the rare books you managed to get your hands on and from the conversations you overheard during your time with the Celestial Dragons.

The island was inhabited by the people of Kuja, all of them women, the entry of men was strictly forbidden, but you didn't know why. — Land! — You watched as your captain passed by you in what must have been a Gomu Gomu Rocket and sat in his usual place at the head of the Sunny. The laugh escapes you without you realizing it, of course only your captain would be able to get free passage to stay on the island of women whenever he wanted, even if he was a man. Your cheeks heat up as you observe the silhouette of your captain who had become your boyfriend two months ago.

It had only been six months since you were no longer a slave, one hundred and eighty-three days of freedom compared to fifteen years of slavery, sometimes being like this still seems like a dream, you fear opening your eyes and realizing that you are still with the Celestial Dragons and that all of this was nothing more than a dream, a delirium. You owe a lot to the Straw Hats, even more to their captain, if it weren't for Luffy showing you a small glimpse of what it was to be free, of what freedom was, you wouldn't be here.

You stare at your arms, the bandages prevent anyone from seeing the scars on them, but it doesn't stop you from seeing them because you can still feel each one of them, burning against your skin as if they were still open and bleeding, you squeeze your forearm until a small red dot appears staining the bandages, it's nothing bigger than a mosquito bite, but you stare at it and feel something bitter run down your throat. Ah, what precious blood! You can still hear your former master's voice next to your ear. That's it, give me the best rubies, my little girl, you can feel his phantom touches on your arms and legs, squeezing every little fold of your body while he pulls liters and liters of blood from you.

Sick, you think, blood never had any value to you, not when your own blood betrayed you and slaves were less than shit to their owners, but your blood had so much value that it was disgusting, disgusting, repulsive, it was only worse than your tears, they are small and beautiful precious diamonds, your master said with pleasure. — Y/N! — You are forcefully pulled out of your spiral by someone calling your name and then you startle when a pair of hands wrap around your waist, the image of your former master burns in your eyes, but soon that image fades as you are hoisted into the air and pulled into your boyfriend's arms.

— We're almost there, Y/N! — Luffy says excitedly as always, in the distance you can hear Sanji complaining about the way your captain clings to you, sometimes you almost forget that you didn't tell them about your relationship with the rubber man, although you are sure that Robin and Zoro, of all people, already knew about it. You're not hiding your relationship from others because you don't trust them, on the contrary, the truth is that you just... can't understand it! This warm feeling that swells in your chest whenever you're with your boyfriend and crew is something so new and scary, you've never been loved before, your own parents sold you when you were four years old because of that damn Devil Fruit, and everything you loved was broken, destroyed, killed right in front of you, that was your life.

Sometimes, you always regret thinking like this but you can't help it, you wish your former master was here beating you and cursing you for no reason, using you as an object of pleasure and extra income because you know this pain, you're used to it, you know what to expect from it and so you have some kind of control, but I think that lack of control is something that comes with being free, you know? Being free to lose control, to feed a spark of chaos, it's strange how not even losing control was allowed for you, you were always controlled and forced, but not this time.

You let yourself fall against your boyfriend's chest and stare at the outline of the island of women growing on the horizon, your depressive thoughts are still floating through your head, now, you are not always like this, in these last months you have spent all your energy getting to know things in the world that you have never seen, meeting people and learning words that that you never thought you could use, you didn't have time for these thoughts to reach you, not when a new world was opening before your eyes, but you've been stuck on a ship for a month, you're no stranger to having nothing to do, when your master didn't need you, you entertained yourself, the problem is that the entertainment of those who have and can't do anything are their thoughts and your thoughts are bad, in the silence and in the moments when the chaos of the Straw Hats calms down you think, you remember the things you never wanted to think about again. Sighing you look ahead while hoping that on that island you can forget all of this, that that place will take you away from the hell trapped in your head.

You were furious, all you wanted was to help the others dock on the island, get down the few things they had that would stay on the island and help Chopper, Sanji and Frank in their search for supplies for their food, medical care and ship, but that damn cook stopped you the moment you were going to grab the first box saying that a sweet, beautiful little creature like you couldn't hurt your precious hands with that kind of thing, as if your hands were anything but calloused, you were ready to tell him that you literally turned your hand into diamond the other day, but your damn boyfriend appeared out of nowhere in some more of his Gomu Gomu Rocket and curled up on you under Sanji's furious gaze and said that you should explore the island since it was your first time there and then you looked into those bright, happy eyes and then at that sunny smile and... gave in.

The truth is that you're not angry with the blond, you know he didn't mean any harm, it's just the way he is, you're angry with yourself for not being able to leave your old slave habits behind, you always had to be helping or doing something, the truth is that you're afraid that they'll get tired of you and hand you over to another Celestial Dragon like your parents did because you're not worth the effort so you try to please.

Amazon Lily was greener and more floral than you thought, being an island only for women you thought it would be more focused on Victorian aesthetics or something like the houses of the women you've served, but it's a well-designed, practical and beautiful place. For the first time there's no one looking at you, in fact all eyes are on your male companions, after all men are a rarity there, it's strange to be so normal, they're not even looking at your bandages or anything like that, but maybe it's because among the women there are snakes of all kinds and women of all kinds.

You see something out of the corner of your eye and then crouch down to take a closer look, it was a red mushroom with yellow dots. You observe it for a while and decide to poke it a little, the truth was that your master would leave you without food if you were naughty, which was actually an excuse to torture you and keep you tied to him, sometimes you had to find something to eat when the pain of hunger was too intense, you always resorted to easier things: mushrooms, not that they were safe, you've gotten sick and almost died several times because of them, but it became second nature to you and that's why you're so interested in this mushroom in question, you've never seen it before and you wonder if you could eat it or if it was poisonous, well, without Chopper or Sanji around there's only one way to find out.

Your hands were about to pull it out when a loud voice surprises you. — Hi! — You turn around with your heart beating like crazy in your chest, standing behind you with a frighteningly big smile is a huge woman, she has wavy green hair and a head strangely disproportionate to her body and wears clothes of the kind that would make Sanji melt, not that that wasn't normal on that island, but what catches your attention is the huge black panther standing behind her. — Hm... hi. — You answer a little uncertainly, unfortunately six months weren't enough to improve your social behavior. — I don't know what you're doing, but that mushroom is poisonous so I wouldn't play with it if I were you. — The stranger warns you, still keeping her smile on her face.

— Thank you for warning me. — You say as you look at the mushroom in disappointment, oh, why are mushrooms always poisonous? — I'm Boa Sandersonia, I saw you leaving the Straw Hats' ship earlier… Are you a new crew member, a kidnapping or a poor girl who was saved on the way here? — Sandersonia asks you, her eyes are still huge and wide but they seem less kind now. — I'm... a new crew member. — You hesitate a little because in the end you're a poor girl rescued by them. — Y/N, nice to meet you.

Your outstretched hand is almost crushed by Sandersonia's handshake. — It's my pleasure, how long have you been with them, Y/N? — Has this turned into an interrogation now? — Half a year ago, I would say. — Sandersonia continues to hold your hand and continues with her questions. — Are you close to any of them? Like your captain or that weird cook? — Now, who did she think she was to call Sanji that way? Yes, he was weird, but that could only be taken as a compliment and preferably by people from the crew. Tired, you forcefully release yourself from the green-haired girl's grip. — I'm close to everyone on that ship, because we're a crew, do you want to know anything else?

You were harsher than you intended, but something in that interaction was bothering you and you didn't know what it was. — Calm down, girl, I came in peace! Do you think I'm done here? I hope you like it here, after all, you're one of the precious members of the esteemed and precious Luffy that my sister loves so much! — With that, she moves away from you in the same way she appeared, out of nowhere. You even try to think about her words, you know very well who her sister is, you've seen her from afar once when she came to help you the other day, but before you could continue thinking about it, Nami called you, looking desperate.

— Y/N, I need your help! — The navigator threw herself on top of you while grabbing your arms, her grip almost took you back to the Extraction Chair where they tied you to it with thick leather straps and stuck a bunch of needles into your skin in search of your blood, it was annoying, hot and very, very painful. — What's wrong, Nami? — You ask, you had barely set foot on the island and something had already gone wrong? — Help me get this on the ship! — She says pointing to the side.

Your eyes follow her raised finger and find a pile of money piled up, you can see Robin sitting on a beach chair under the shade of some trees while her duplicate arms carried several bags of money to the ship, oh, now everything made more sense. — You can count on me, Nami! — The truth was that you were dying to be distracted, even more so after the conversation with the second sister Boa.

You are distracted, feeling your muscles burn because of the repetitive movement of bending down, picking up a handful of gold, getting up, climbing the ramp, putting the gold in Nami's room and repeating. You stop on the deck of the Sunny to breathe and feel the fresh breeze of Amazon Lily on your skin as you let your eyes wander over the landscape and that's when you see them, Hancock and Luffy. The two are talking, or rather, the woman is talking, holding her blushing cheeks while your captain seems more interested in devouring the monstrous piece of meat he found somewhere, nothing special.

And that's it, a simple image that you saw the first time you met the Empress of Amazon Lily, you are not a weak person and if you thought that while reading my previous words I apologize, the truth is that even with your depressive thoughts you are not weak, you were sold at the age of four after eating the Kobu-Kobu no Mi, the mineral fruit that allows you to create any mineral and control them, your idiot parents didn't even think about the fortune that you would bring to them with your powers when they sold you, but that doesn't matter now, what matters is that you've heard about your appearance, about your intelligence and your ways and in the past you had to accept everything silently, but that was before you were saved by your crew, in your days of freedom you swore that you would never feel that way again, never again feel like a simple object, but unfortunately, you are still human, different from what your former master always tried to make you believe.

You can still feel fear, anxiety and insecure, it doesn't happen as often, but it still happens, sometimes it's a quick thought in the dead of night, sometimes days debating it mentally, and this time Sandersonia's words invade your mind in one of those moments. Dear and precious Luffy that my sister adores so much, you can't help but notice Boa Hancock's slender and tall figure, she's wearing a red dress almost as beautiful as the rubies you made for your master, her breasts are raised and perky like ridiculous melons, they're bigger than Nami's and Robin's, combined! You look at those eyes that look like shiny onyx stones, her skin is velvety and pale like the inside of a peach, her straight, soft and silky hair and long, thin legs, she certainly doesn't have to worry about whether something looks good on her because that's not a problem for her, because nothing can look bad on women like Boa Hancock.

The image of her next to Luffy, your boyfriend, seems perfect, they would make such a beautiful and powerful couple, the Pirate Empress and the Pirate King, doesn't it sound amazing? Why is your captain wasting his time with you when he has someone like her chasing after him? Hancock is a sight for sore eyes, she can stuff him with food and help him become the Pirate King and as for you? What can you do? Some ridiculous rubies and diamonds that only looked good when your master took them from you by force, having nightmares even when you're awake, you don't even know what love is, damn it! Why is he still with you? You go down the ramp and go back to carrying the bags of money, at that moment you are sure that Luffy would come today and end your two-month relationship because he has the Empress of Amazon Lily with him, what can you offer him that Boa Hancock can't do better?

Night has fallen and your thoughts remain firm and strong, not even the banquet in celebration of your visit can take you out of it, in fact it is just another reminder of what Hancock can do that you can't even dream of copying. From your corner you watch as Nami dances happily with the other women on the island with her cheeks flushed as she celebrates all the gold she got today. Robin continues to relax sitting in a velvet chair while reading her book and calmly drinking an expensive-looking wine, keeping her usual enigmatic smile on her face. No matter how hard you try, you can never guess what that woman is thinking, but you are sure that she knows everything that goes through your head, judging by the fact that she is always the first one to appear at your bedroom door with a glass of water when you wake up from one of your many nightmares.

Jinbe is sitting watching everything with his usual stoic posture, but you have learned to observe in your years of slavery, so you know that he is calm and relaxed. Sanji is melting with all the touches that these almost half-naked women are giving him, after all Sanji is a handsome and daring boy and the people of Kuja do not see many men, the cook is probably in heaven with all this attention. Brook had somehow managed to get into the band and command the show singing with his unique voice and using his own songs. Frank was somewhere getting tips on ship repairs and maintenance while Usopp, Chopper and Luffy, who was holding a piece of meat in his mouth and two others in his hands danced around the fireplace happily and Zoro… Zoro was lost somewhere… again.

You wanted to have fun, you were never invited to parties, you were always the one who prepared everything and served the others, that is when you weren't lying somewhere after having almost all your blood drained, but the moment you thought about joining the festivities you saw the root of your current problems waltzing up to your boyfriend with your perfect pair of legs. Boa Hancock brightens up when she starts talking to her captain who continues dancing almost oblivious to her. At that moment those thoughts come back. Why is he wasting his time with you? Look at her! She's perfect and so beautiful, she must get everything she wants, do you think she also has scars? Does she have an ugly mark like yours on her back? Oh, who are you kidding? Even if she had one, it would look perfect on her like anything else.

Shaking your head to get rid of those thoughts, your eyes scan around looking for something to entertain you. You find Zoro who is... drinking an entire barrel of booze down his throat as if it were nothing? You decide to let it go and approach him. Company always kept most of your bad thoughts at bay. — What's up, Zoro? — You greet him, trying to sound as cheerful as ever. If he noticed anything, he doesn't comment. He just mumbles a greeting, very concerned about grabbing another barrel of beer and drinking it whole as if it were nothing. Your crew was strange, but the Monster Trio stands out like a sore thumb.

You stand next to each other in silence, enjoying the calm, in your case, and the drink, in Zoro's case. After what seemed like an eternity, the swordsman finally says something. — Shouldn't you be having fun with the other idiots? — He asks, yawning at the end and putting his fifth empty barrel of beer aside. Was this the limit? — Yeah… — You answer feeling nervous and your body betrays you when your eyes turn to the root of your problems, your heart tightens when you see how Boa Hancock looked better with your own boyfriend than you, the drink you were carrying burns against your palm in a clear sign that you are not feeling comfortable in your own skin. — I even wanted to, but I lost the will, you know?

The green-haired man just stares at you with his only eye in a clear sign that he knows you are lying, but he doesn't say anything, sometimes he is so similar to Robin that it scares you. — Zoro, what do you do when you don't feel like you are enough? — You don't even realize you said something, you only realize when the man next to you responds after giving you another look. — Like with the swords and stuff? — You end up nodding, still shocked for speaking without thinking. — I train more. — He says with the same seriousness that a doctor says something has no cure.

— What if you find someone better than you? — You ask again and have to control yourself to not look at the captain couple again. — I'll train more. — He answers without hesitation. — What if they're still better than you? — This time you look at the swordsman with determination. — I'll train more. — You have to hold yourself back from yelling, that guy could be so frustrating sometimes. — What if they use their swords better than you?

— I'll train more. — Zoro repeats the same answer as he opens another barrel, apparently five wasn't the limit. — Okay, but what if the problem is that you don't think you're good enough? — You finally ask and feel your cheeks blush when the swordsman stops opening his drink and looks at you, seemingly disinterested. — I'll train more, but I'm thinking this has nothing to do with swords. — He says, finally putting his drink aside and looking at you straight on. At that moment, you had his full attention and it was kind of... unnerving? — What exactly is all this about? — And he continues as direct as ever.

— I don't really know. — You start. — Sometimes I feel alone... very small, as if the whole world could swallow me or something, I'm not very good at this thing of recognizing feelings yet. — Zoro leans against the wall and crosses his arms, looking straight ahead. — Does this have to do with your past or is it something else?

— A little of both. — You mumble and can't help but look at Hancock and your boyfriend again, but when have you had control over something, right? The swordsman follows your gaze this time and snorts when he realizes what's happening. For someone everyone calls an airhead, he's quite shrewd. — If that's your problem, you should talk to Nami, I'm useless at this kind of thing.

— First: don't belittle yourself like that and second: I don't want to distract her from the party because of my insecurities... and third: I don't think I have the money to pay you for this. — You answer, leaning against the wall next to him. — You have all the points, but you also know that you'll have to talk about this with someone who really understands it sooner or later, I'd tell you to talk to Robin, but I don't think anything would come of it. — He says before yawning again, looking sleepy.

Guys, since when did Zoro of all people become so wise? Or has he always been like this in his own way? The Monster Trio always ends up surprising you in the end. — I know, but... I don't know how to do this. — You vent, ready to tell him part of your thoughts. — I don't know anything outside of slavery, that was all I was until a few months ago, I'm fucked. I can't understand my feelings, I can't express them properly, I'm still afraid of being hit for talking too much... for caring too much.

At that moment you forgot you were talking to him. — Some days were easier than others, you know? When he just beat me and forced me to sleep with him, I could handle that, the problem was when he wanted diamonds and rubies, no matter how many I created for him, he would always say I lacked originality... feeling. I'm a patchwork quilt with more mental problems than fish in the sea, I don't know how to live in a group, I don't know how to be free, can I really do and say whatever I want without being punished for it? Is there really a life free from shackles? Sometimes I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop, the moment when all of you will realize that I'm more trouble than I'm worth and will hand me over to the first Celestial Dragon you see and then I...

You turn around ready to look at the swordsman, but then he hits you with a strong flick in the middle of your forehead, interrupting you. — What the fuck! — You hiss, rubbing the area you were hit with, but it doesn't do much good. You've seen that guy knock down giants and he didn't even measure his strength when he hit you. — Why did you do that? — You whine, you thought you were safe with him. — Because you're being stupid. — He answers simply and it kind of hurts coming from him. — Everyone on that ship likes you, Nami is willing to charge you less and she doesn't even give you interest! There's no way we can give you back, never! — He says, turning around and looking at you. The truth is that he's in front of you while you're between him and the wall behind you. When did you get into this position?

You blink, absorbing his words and then your cheeks burn and a smile forms on your lips and there was that warm feeling swelling your chest... that actually felt good. — Oh, my brave swordsman likes me now? — You say, unable to help but tease him a little. — Don't force it. — He says and looks away from you, but that doesn't stop you from seeing his cheeks blush, you throw yourself at him and hug him tightly. — Don't be mean, you know I like you more than Sanji! — Strange how this crew had the gift of making his bad thoughts disappear. — I'm telling him that! — He says looking angry, but he still returns the hug. — Don't ruin the moment, you annoying bastard! — You complain playfully before sticking your tongue out at him, you hug for a while and before separating you thank him. — Thank you!

— For what? — He says once you're no longer together. — For listening, you're very good at it, better than Nami I dare say. — Zoro clicks his tongue. — Cheaper, you mean, small threat! — Your nickname slips through his lips. — It was nothing. — He ends up messing up your hair, this time you don't even fight with him for messing up your hair.

— Y/N! — Someone shouts your name and you don't have time to do anything before you're wrapped in your captain's elastic arms, he really likes doing that to you. — What's wrong, Luffy? — You ask, looking at your captain's laughing form clinging to you. — Nothing, I just wanted to hug you! — He says with his usual wide smile, you feel your cheeks flush and let out a nervous laugh and everything gets worse when Zoro snorts a laugh beside you and rolls his eyes. — Jealous. — The swordsman grumbles as he goes back to the sixth forgotten barrel of booze. Out of the corner of your eye you can see how Boa Hancock looks furious because she was ignored by the love of her life while Sandersonia just watches you with a placid face that at the same time seemed empty, but you don't focus much on that and instead on the temperature of your boyfriend's body wrapped around yours.

The time for the banquet finally arrived, everyone was eating and chatting happily, except for you who was sad because you were sitting next to Sandersonia and Marigold who, unlike her older sisters, seemed too serious and reserved. You wanted to talk more with Zoro, tell him how you still feel your scars vibrating on your skin, how sometimes it feels like you have too much blood in your body and it burns and you just want to get it out of you, but he is far from you next to Sanji, at least there is something good in that. Luffy is sitting in front of you, but unfortunately Boa Hancock is in the seat next to him.

You sigh knowing that this will be a dinner where all you have to keep you company will be your thoughts. You are distractedly stirring the food with your fork when you notice Luffy's outstretched arms going back and forth across the table, you also notice how he leaves some pieces of meat and other dishes on your plate. One of the first things you learned about Luffy is that he loves to eat and like your boyfriend, he loves to give you everything he finds tasty, it was his way of saying he likes you, you smile at that and that's when you notice the strange silence that covers the table, what happened?

You take your eyes off your plate and look up and realize that everyone is looking at you as if you had become a sea monster, in fact they are looking at you, your plate and your captain, and that's when you realize. You hadn't told anyone about your relationship and usually when you are on the Sunny everyone's food is kind of the same except for the women's so it was always you who gave Luffy some of your meal, but now the opposite is happening, Monkey D. Luffy, the food lover, is giving you food before he eats and no one but you, Zoro, Robin and Luffy know why, not that the latter really cares. You try to think of something to end this tense atmosphere, but then your boyfriend with bad timing shoves a piece of meat into your mouth with more force than he should. — Y/N, you have to try this! — He says happily with a mouthful of meat while you struggle to swallow and even choke a little, but manage to swallow in the end. — Luffy, how many times have I asked you to be more careful? Not everyone can stretch like you! — You scold him.

— But I wanted you to taste it! — He says staring at you with a pout like a kicked puppy and you sigh in defeat. — Okay, just be more careful next time. — The mention that this could happen again, the fact that the Straw Hat captain shared the food with you, not the part about you choking, snaps Hancock out of her frozen state. — I didn't know my Luffy was so attentive to his crew members! — Your voice sounds soft and sweet like sugar syrup along with your smile that is just a show of teeth, but your eyes are cold and sharp.

— It's because Y/N is my girlfriend! — Your captain answers as if commenting on the mood before stuffing an entire thigh of something in his mouth and pulling the completely clean bone out of there just a second later, your cheeks exploding red at the way your relationship was exposed, — Luffy, we promised this would stay between us for now! — You whine. — Oops! — Your boyfriend says with his cheeks full of meat while not looking the least bit sorry. Everyone around the table screamed in surprise except for you, your captain, Zoro and Robin who already knew this obvious fact. — Are you two dating? — Nami screams in shock along with a heartbroken-eyed Sanji, he can't believe that a little thing as cute as you is with his captain. — Yes, it's been about two months now. — You say shyly as you look at your plate.

— Wasn't that obvious? — Zoro asks in his usual simple tone as he drinks more beer. — It wasn't obvious at all, you shitty marimo! — Sanji screams with sharp teeth and burning eyes at the swordsman who ignores him while Nami looks pale for not having noticed something that Zoro, of all people, had noticed. — My love! — Boa Hancock says finally recovering from the imaginary stab that hit her chest hard. — Why are you dating that? — She says with venom dripping from the corner of her mouth like the snake she is. — I'm better than her, I can fill you with food, money and help you become the Pirate King, so why her and not me?

Your body tenses at her words, and only Robin and Zoro seem to notice it, the Pirate Empress asked the question you wanted to ask for so long. — Because I like her! — Luffy answers simply again and it's as if another stab hits Hancock's chest who falls back theatrically with a hand over her forehead and a jet of blood escapes from her mouth, Nami explodes in her place, stands up, slamming her hands on the table and growls at her captain. — Don't say that, you idiot! You like meat, not people, you imbecile!

At that the captain's face frowns in confusion and he tilts his head to the side. — But I like Y/N! — The navigator foams at the mouth in anger, but before she opens her mouth again Nico Robin finally speaks for the first time since they arrived on that island. — What our dear navigator meant, captain, is that you usually use “like” for things and even friends, but for boyfriends you should use “love”! — The archaeologist blinks her eyes as a sweet smile spreads across her face.

Then something happens that shocks everyone at the table and stabs another knife deep into the heart of the captain of the Kuja Pirates, the always happy and idiotic face of Monkey D. Luffy blushes, but he blushes so hard that his cheeks turn the color of his shirt. — I-I know that! — He says a little too loudly as he looks away to the side with a pout on his red face. — But whenever I think about using that word with “L” with Y/N my stomach feels weird as if it were sick and I don't like that!

Now it's your turn to have your cheeks blushed, you've been doing that a lot this one day, seeing your boyfriend blushing and saying that kind of thing is too much for your heart unprepared for emotions. — But, captain, don't you think Ms. Y/N deserves to hear that word coming from you? — Robin says with a toothy smile and you want to strangle her, is there no way this woman doesn't realize that her heart could explode at any moment? — Y/N! — A voice suddenly calls you, you turn around and come face to face with your boyfriend's face very close to yours, he stretched his neck over the table so he could look at you closely. — I love you! — He says keeping that radiant smile on his face and in that moment your heart forgot how to beat and every part of you shorted out. — You're going to be my queen! — Luffy adds laughing.

— Luffy! — You hiss like a kettle as your face heats up so much that smoke comes out of it, that's it, he broke you. The moment is broken when Boa Hancock finally recovers from the stabs that this banquet stuck in her chest, she has tears starting to form in her eyes as she turns and runs away, Salome, her huge white pet snake follows her, her sisters who were by her side stand up with great strength and speed, the joint movement of the two is so powerful that it knocks over some objects on the table, including your wine glass that falls right on your chest and you freeze.

It's strange how wine, of all things, can remind you of blood, even more so when its dark shade of red spreads across your shirt and it's like you're back in the Extraction Chair, you feel the boiling needles entering your veins and how it hurts, unfortunately this was the only way to stop your blood from hardening outside your body, you try to free yourself but the restraints on your wrists and ankles are so tight that it would be easier to break your bones than to free yourself, tears sting your vision, but it doesn't take long for them to cool and harden into small pieces of diamonds that are quickly collected and stored, you hate every second of it, you hate yourself for eating that damn fruit in a desperate haze of hunger, you want to die, you want to kill them, but you know you'll never be able to do it because you're useless.

A tap on your shoulder is what forcefully pulls you out of your thoughts, you look at the figure of Sandersonia that looks at you as if she had seen a ghost and it is obvious that the other one realizes that you are not well, after all you are pale and sweating cold. — Your blouse was stained, I am sorry about that. — The gorgon sister says and seems really sorry, you swallow hard and hide your hands under the table, you dig your nails into the palm of your hand until blood flows from the cuts, it doesn't last long when a second later a ruby crust forms on them, but the pain manages to bring you back completely. You give a shaky smile. — It's okay, I'll just change it!

— Not at all, that was my fault, so how about I get you some native clothes and show you a little of Kuja's hospitality? — Sandersonia says and the smile she gives you this time seems sincere, different from the almost apathetic look she gave you at dinner before. — I-it's okay. — You stutter a question as you are guided by her, as you move away from the table you realize that the festive mood has been completely ruined and you blame yourself for it because of course everything bad would be your fault, you also realize that Marigold has disappeared probably going after her older sister.

You follow the greenish into a cabin, you can already see several pieces of clothing scattered everywhere and smell a faint scent of sandalwood wandering in the air, you find it strange that Sandersonia is helping you after being so deliberately hostile to you before, but you want to give her the benefit of the doubt. — You know, I kind of suspected that you two were dating, I didn't want to believe it, but I already suspected it. — The giant woman says while rummaging through a closet. — Excuse me? — You say very confused by your words.

— Well, I saw how you were making out on your ship before, but I wanted to believe that it was unilateral on your part, after all your captain is not the sharpest tool and can be quite... dense, but in the end my suspicions were right. — She says as she goes to the large tub in the middle of the cabin and throws something into the water. — I'm sorry if I was rude or mean to you, but my sisters and I can be very protective of those we love. — She gives you another sincere smile and you have already forgiven her because you wanted to leave all the hate behind. — Anyway, I prepared a bath for you, I think you need one, while you wash yourself I'll get some clothes.

You watch Sandersonia leave the cabin, not before she strokes the head of her pet panther. Still uncertain of the other's intentions you exist a little, but in the end soon, the wine was starting to stick your clothes to your skin making you remember the feeling of your blood hardening into ruby on your skin and you don't want to remember that. You carefully undo the bandages on your arms and legs and you can feel the panther's watchful eyes on your every move, but that doesn't matter at the moment because you're busy tracing every jagged scar on your skin, they were puncture marks, cuts and burns spread out there as if it were a knife sharpener or something. You touch the largest of them, a long, thick line that was given to you the day you won your freedom.

You remember perfectly the moment your owner pulled you forward ready to thank the pirates for saving his treasure, he asks what they want to gain, gold, pleasure or perhaps a precious ruby. He doesn't even wait as he rolls up your sleeve and pulls out his machete and plunges it into your flesh without even flinching at it, in seconds your arm is open and the Straw Hats look in shock at the scene before them, your blood spurts out forcefully from the cut, but before it hits the ground it hardens and turns to ruby.

It takes a while, but soon everyone realizes that the rubies that the nobleman uses, that he sells and that he displays in his house came from the same place. Your captain didn't even pay attention to the words that his former master was spewing, his straw hat fell on his forehead hiding his eyes, but something in the atmosphere had changed, it became heavy, almost suffocating, at that moment you could have stumbled if you weren't being held in place by the nobleman's firm grip. Luffy just walked towards you in a silent way that didn't suit him at all and then as fast as he could be he punched your former owner in the face so hard that he flew out of his stupid chair made of rubies and went through three walls.

You shake your head and let that memory disappear from your mind, it wasn't time to think about the past, you had to take a shower and return to your crew, you unbutton your shirt and let it slide down your shoulders and that's when Sandersonia comes back. — Here, I found some clothes that fit perfectly on… my god! — The gorgon screams as she lets the clothes fall at her feet, you glance over your shoulder at her very confused and that's when the other responds. — Your-your-your back…

— Ah! — You exclaim in understanding. — My back is very ugly, isn't it? — You say with a little smile, you knew that the same scars on your arms and legs were in greater quantity on your back along with the huge mark of the Celestial Dragon burned into your skin in a clear undeniable sign of what you once were, a slave. — Sorry for making you see this, sometimes I forget it's there. — It's not a lie, whenever you took a shower it was something quick with the intention of washing yourself, you didn't have time to waste thinking about the mark on your back, you can still remember the shock on Nami's face and the pain on Robin's.

— You... you were also a slave. — Sandersonia whispers, but something in her sentence catches your attention, you were also one, you turn to the still pale figure of the woman with wide eyes. — You were also? — You ask even though you already know the answer to that. — Me and my sisters… — Sandersonia says as her hands clench into fists and her expression closes, no more words were needed, your doubts were confirmed. — I'm sorry. — You apologize, both for the sisters' situation and for the fact that you thought Boa Hancock's life had been perfect, you had forgotten that tragedy doesn't look at appearances.

— No, it's okay, it was… it was a long time ago. — She says sniffling a little, you understand that this subject must be sensitive for her. — And for you, how long has it been? — She asks as she bends down to gather the clothes she dropped earlier. — Six months. — You say looking at your hands so you don't notice how the other's body freezes in the middle of your actions. — I see… — Sandersonia says simply before turning to you with a huge smile. — Okay, let's finish this bath and leave you like a typical Kuja woman! — You smile at her enthusiasm and let her wash and dress you.

The shower ended without any surprises after your little chat, soon you were smelling of fruit and wearing a pair of Kuja's very revealing clothes, the only difference was that you had a coat with long, loose sleeves at the end to hide your abused arms and back and a garter belt with dark stockings to hide your legs, at first it felt strange to wear so little fabric because of your scars, but Sandersonia ended up forcing you to go out like that when she showed you the coat and stockings. You were still feeling bad for thinking that Boa Hancock's life had always been easy, of all people, you knew very well how cruel life could be.

The feeling of anger was still inside you and you needed to get it out of you, the people of Kuja had been hospitable to you and your crew so you didn't want to thank them by destroying their things, one of the things that being free gave you was being able to release your anger and frustration by breaking things. That's how you find Zoro standing in a corner drinking another barrel of beer as if it were water, you don't think much before going to him, conjures a bit of diamond that wraps around his hand, just enough to cover the top of your fist and when you're very close to him you punch him hard in the shoulder.

The blow must have had considerable force because he looks at you angrily. — What was that for? -- Zoro asks as his hand goes to his swords, you forgot how much he likes fights when he's drunk. — I was angry and needed to hit something that wouldn't break and you were the chosen one, my friend! — You say with a cute smile on your face feeling much better now. — Thank you? — The swordsman says not very sure if that was a compliment or not, of course only someone from the Monster Trio would think of that as a possible compliment. Zoro finally looks at you and you realize that he noticed your clothes the moment he chokes and his cheeks explode red. — What the hell are you wearing?

— Kuju clothes! — You answer while swaying on your feet that are wearing stiletto heels, according to Sandersonia your sneakers should never be worn with that outfit, it would be a crime against fashion or something.. — Has our captain seen you yet? — The greenish man asks. — No, has anyone on our crew seen you yet? — He reformulates his question.

— No, you were the first one I found, why? — You look at your vice-captain confused, but the man just gives you a shit-eating smile before grabbing you by the wrist and starting to pull you with him. — This is going to be fun. — He says as he takes you back to the party that continued as if nothing had happened.

— Y/N-swan! — Of course the first one to notice you is Sanji, he always knew when a woman was approaching him even when his back was turned like now. The cook turns to you ready to begin his passionate act, you being his captain's girlfriend hasn't diminished the love he feels for you at all, it seems, the blond was ready to kneel before you and sing praises to you, but he froze when he saw you, you can see his blood pressure rising as his body turned red and then his nose explodes in a jet of blood that threw him away while saying your name with adoration, the rest of the crew wasn't far behind him.

Usopp's jaw dropped with his cheeks flushed as he couldn't stop looking at you, Chopper had let out a high-pitched scream and hidden behind a table, in fact it was only his head that was hidden while his whole body was out. Frank and Jinbe looked at you slightly blushing before looking away, Brook's jaw was missing as he spoke nonsense about finally seeing a pair of panties, Nami was a blushing mess as her eyes looked at your every feature with attention and Robin, well, Robin just smiled behind her book looking very satisfied. — I wonder what our captain will do when he sees this. — She says as enigmatic as ever, the truth is that you don't understand all this fuss over pieces of clothing, I mean, you've worn worse clothes than this for your former master and still no one had ever reacted like this before.

— What do I have to see? — Luffy asks, appearing in the middle of his crew with his mouth full of meat and with other pieces in his hands. He looks at everyone, but when his eyes land on your plump figure with those clothes, what follows takes everyone by surprise. Even Nico Robin's mouth is open in shock. Not only did the rubber man's cheeks blush, but a small trickle of blood runs down his nose. You blush, finally understanding why everyone was like that before. Sexual desire, your mind provides. — Y/N. — Luffy says, looking delighted. — This is much better than meat!

Your boyfriend's statement makes your face burst into flames, much worse than the other times. You feel a confusion of feelings grow in your chest. Everything suddenly gets confused in your head, so you do the first thing you think of, you run. You run away while you hear your crew laugh and start saying how they didn't know your adorable captain had thoughts like that. Hearing that only makes you run even faster, and that's how you get lost. Great, you did the same as Zoro.

Sighing, you decide to take a walk and enjoy Amazon Lily more. After all, the next morning you would be leaving and heading to the next island. You observe how the island's fauna and flora change in the soft light of the night. It's all so beautiful and precious, and it makes you wonder if the diamonds that come from your tears and the ruby that comes from your blood could also be so beautiful if they hadn't been exploited by the nobles. The sound of crying in the distance catches your attention. You didn't want to interfere in other people's problems, but you were already here and knew very well how painful crying alone can be, even more so when you know that after that there will be no one there for you. With that in mind, you look for the source of the crying.

You go deeper into the forest and end up finding the source of the crying, Boa Hancock. The pirate captain is sitting on the root of a tree with her face buried in her arms as her sobs make her body tremble while her pet snake rubs its body against her trying to calm her down, the sight of her makes you sick, Hancock really loved her boyfriend, you decide to go back the same way you came and leave her in her sadness in peace, but of course you had to step on a damn branch, Salome stares at you with the eyes of a predator and when she realizes it's you she shows her fangs in threat, her owner also notices you with tearful and red eyes.

— What did you come to do here? — She asks angrily as she sniffs and rubs the sleeve of her dress on her face. — Did you come to throw in my face that he likes you and not me? — She growls and you feel afraid of her, you were finally beginning to understand why that woman had been a Shichibukai, you had seen the strength of that woman on the battlefield before, but it was the first time that all that anger was directed only at you. — N-no. — You try to defend yourself, but suddenly it's as if you're standing before your former master and he's approaching you with a whip in his hand and furious eyes.

— So you came to mock me for being so pathetic and running after a man who doesn't care about me? — You know she's yelling at you, but it's not her voice you hear, it's your former master's. Do you think you can make a fool of me, you little bitch?! His voice screams in your mind as you back away. — No-no. — You can't even say it with the lump forming in your throat.

— Oh, so what did you come here to do? — I'm going to teach you to never deceive me again, you hear your former master and you can see him coming towards you with heavy steps and anger in his eyes. — Show me your perfect little life? — I'm going to take every last drop of blood from you and then I'm going to open you up and find out if you're golden inside too, my little goose! You dig your nails hard into your palm, it was so strong that blood ran and dripped onto the floor, forming a ruby pool next to your feet, but the pain is enough to make you remember where you are, but not completely.

Come on, what did Robin say when you had your first episode? You're not even listening to what the Pirate Empress is saying now. Say something you can see, okay, a bunch of trees, now say something you can hear, Hancock's grumbling, now something you can feel, the cold wind on your skin and the taste of rust in your throat. Calmer, you take a deep breath, now you're back to being yourself. — I didn't come to make fun of anyone, Hancock, I just got worried when I heard someone crying. — You finally approach her and your snake, ignoring the way the animal shows its teeth at you, the truth is that you're not afraid of Salome, you only fear humans. — Are you okay? — You ask the captain.

— I-it doesn't matter! — She screams with pink cheeks. — I won't give up just because he's yours now! — She stands up and points a finger right in your face, scaring you a little. — I'll still steal his heart, I'll be your rival, Y/N! Your rival! — A beat of silence occurs and you just stare at that beautiful woman who is declaring war on you because of your completely oblivious boyfriend. How can someone like Boa Hancock feel threatened, despised, humiliated by someone like you? At that moment it becomes clear to you how confusing life is, you had forgotten that the Snake Princess was as human as you.

You huff out a laugh, you even try to hold it in, but soon you give in and laugh heartily, shaking your plump body with each laugh, you finally realized the madness of your thoughts all day, you really were an idiot, weren't you?

— Y-you're laughing at me? — Boa Hancock screams with an incredulous face and flushed cheeks, how dare you mock her as a rival? — It's nothing like that! — You say still laughing. — It's just that I finally realized that you're as human as I am! — You sigh calmly and wipe a stray tear from the corner of your eye, the tear glistening against your already hardened finger, you look at the small diamond and smile. — You know, I was so jealous of you. You're so much better for Luffy than me, anyone with eyes would say that! You're so beautiful, powerful and what am I? Damaged goods.

You let the diamond fall to the ground anyway. — Used and discarded, but you know what it's like to feel like that... to be like that, don't you? — You look at her and notice how confused she looks. — I know about the mark, the one you have on your back. — You say and look away, you can't expose that part of her life and still look her in the eyes. And that's why you don't notice when the captain's confusion disappears, how her eyes double in size in fright before filling with anger. — Who told you? — She growls as she grabs you by the arms and forces you to face her. — It was Sandersonia, but it's not her fault! — You say, noticing how her anger only increases when she realizes that she was betrayed by her sister. — She only told me because she saw mine first!

— Yours? — She asks, sounding angry and confused at the same time. You knew that getting on her bad side was terrible, even deadly, but here you were, pushing all her buttons. — But does that mean that… — She stops, her anger disappearing from her face as her face becomes completely serious when she realizes what her words mean. — That I was a slave? Yes, I was and I'm not proud of it at all. — You answer and bite your lip before looking away. — My parents sold me to the nobility when I was four years old and only because I could create some stupid little rocks! — You growl at the end, just thinking about your parents fills you with rage, you don't even know what you would do if you met them again.

You look forward and face the Snake Princess. — It was only when I learned what you once were that I realized that no matter how perfect someone seems to be, life will still fuck them up one way or another and that even if I'm not like you, someone is willing to love me anyway, even when I can't do it. — You don't hesitate when you hold her face in your hand and caress her cheek. — When I was saved by them and didn't know what to do, to be free, to choose what I wanted, to be desired for myself and not for what I can do, this is so new and scary to me, sometimes I think they'll get tired of me and other times I'm sure of it so I just wait for the moment when they'll send me back to the nobles and I'll be alone again, unwanted... what a stupid thing to think when my captain is Luffy, right?

You sigh with a smile on your lips when you think about your boyfriend. — Luffy is amazing, isn't he? — You don't even realize you said anything, only when Hancock grabs you by the shoulders with wide eyes and flared nostrils. — And so handsome! — She says with a smile in a passionate tone again. — He's always there when you need him, using every last bit of his strength and keeping that smile on his face... it's so unfair! — She grumbled, looking much more like the Hancock you saw from afar.

— Don't even talk to me about that smile! — You groan, like that smile it messed with you. — I still remember when he smiled like that at me the first time, it was like looking straight into the sun and then he simply says he's going to get me out of my prison and I'll be his companion and then it didn't matter how much pain I felt or how chaotic my mind and heart seemed, it was like I just knew that everything was going to be... okay!

— Yeah, that's my Luffy's power! — The Snake Princess says as she jumps in her place still clinging to you, euphoric for talking about your love. — Don't even tell me, it was because of him that I kind of punched a Celestial Dragon right in the face. — You wilt as you remember it, punching your master in the face was the most satisfying thing you've ever done, but the reward it gave you wasn't, you'd only been a pirate for six months and your reward was almost the same as your captain's.

— You did what? — Hancock asks, looking at you with such intensity that you end up blushing, she wasn't looking at you with anger, she was looking at you with a mixture of respect and adoration that made you wonder how your boyfriend managed to remain so indifferent in her eyes. — W-well, he was my old master. Luffy kind of beat him up first so everyone was fighting back and forth when someone simply shouts that the navy was coming. — You start to tell a little insecurely, but as you go on in the story you get excited as you remember your first glimpse of freedom.

— Then Luffy just sends a bunch of them flying through the air like it was nothing, and he stands there with his bright smile and his straw hat on his head looking like a distorted and improved version of a knight in shining armor. — You say as you move away from the other woman and imitate the blows of the fight. — This is your life, Y/N, you are the one who must choose how to live it! — You try to imitate your captain's voice. — He says as he looks at me and extends his arm to me and I think: I want this, this freedom. But of course my idiot ex-owner couldn't just stay quiet in his corner. Suddenly he is by my side calling me a filthy whore and saying how useless I was. I will take every last drop of blood from you and then let your body be eaten by the lords of the seas! He shouted as he came to me wielding the whip he tried to use on me, I wanted to run away, but Luffy's words were still in my head!

You sigh happily, oh, that feeling of breaking the chain and rebelling was still inside you and it was so, so good, it was like a pleasant chill that goes down your arms and stops in your chest, how can you forget that? — So I didn't think, when he got really close to me I conjured a bunch of diamonds in my fist and said that I would never serve an old, disgusting son of a bitch like him again and boom! I threw the hardest punch I've ever thrown in my life, I felt the impact underneath all that diamond and watched with satisfaction as his face deformed as he broke five more walls with his useless body! — You laugh as you imitate the punch you gave him. — After that I hear a loud and amused laugh and then there are arms wrapped around my waist and the next moment I'm being pulled out of the building as I free fall into the Straw Hat's arms and that was the best moment of my life!

Hancock laughs with gusto, laughs so much that she throws her head back and her body shakes with the force of her laughter. — You're crazy! — She says still laughing and you realize for the thousandth time that night how beautiful Hancock is and wonder how she manages to continue as if nothing had happened. — Can I do what? — The captain asks with a hint of a smile on her lips and only at that moment do you realize that you had said that out loud, something that has been happening a lot lately. — Pretending that it never happened and moving on being so… you? — You ask, looking at the other.

— I don’t pretend at all. — She answers as she looks up and stares at the moon that shines beautifully. — And I just take all that anger and channel it into my goals. — She says, but it doesn’t seem like she notices what she’s doing as if her mind is stuck in memories. — But doesn’t it hurt? — You ask and hold your chest, you want to move on, but you can’t get over those memories, you can’t forget the pain, sadness and despair, maybe it was just too fresh on your skin still.

— All the time, but what should I have done? — She says, still staring at the moon. — Sitting with my arms crossed, brooding over the past while my life and my sisters’ lives are at a standstill because of some shitty men? — She growls angrily, you look at the moon too. — But how can you use the part of you that was given to you by them? — You ask, how could he use that anger even when everything would always remind him of that time?

— Unfortunately, that's who I am now. Do you think I had any power before I was taken by them? — She looks at you, looking determined. — They forced a Devil Fruit on me just for fun, and what did I do? Stay quiet and let them use me as they wanted? No way! I took that power and brought hell to them, I took everything they gave me and gave it back with interest! — You look at her and then open a cheerful smile, like the people on your crew she knew how to lift your spirits. — Damn, how is it possible that you get more perfect every minute?

She opens a toothy and arrogant smile that suits her very well and then places a hand on her puffed out chest. — Of course I'm perfect! But you're not far behind either, after all you're my rival! — Hancock says with her nose in the air at her own words. You smile before looking at your own hand and you make a decision. It took a lot of concentration, after all you were on edge and had a panic attack a short time ago, but soon a pale glow (your favorite color) appears in your palm and a stone slowly comes out of your skin, it doesn't hurt or anything like that, but it's a little disconcerting to see it because of your memories but you persist and soon the jewel is ready.

It's small, it must be the size of a coin, it's orange and red in color and it's shiny, unfortunately its shape was a little crooked and it looked like a weird heart since you were still learning how to cut them at the time, Hancock just stared at everything you did in fascination. — Here. — You say placing the small stone in the Snake Princess's hand. — Sorry about the weird shape, I'm still learning this!

— Why are you giving me this? — The other pirate asks, staring at the small stone in admiration. — I don't really know. — You begin. — But I made a stone for all my crew members, something that would remind me of them and since you're kind of my rival now, I thought it was fair that you got one too! — You finish by shrugging. — That reminds you of them… — Hancock whispers. — And which one did you give to Luffy?

— Red Jasper, Tiger's Eye… I'm actually always giving him stones, not that he really cares about it, but he gives me so many feelings, courage, love, loyalty, there are so many that I can't attribute it to just one stone. — You complain while the other smiles, agreeing with your words. — So what stone is that? — The brunette asks.

— It's a carnelian! — You respond, rocking on your heels. — And what's its meaning? — The Pirate Empress asks and you feel your face blush, were you really going to say that out loud? — Self-confidence, attitude and… and… sexual energy. — You answer, looking away from her, unable to look at her at the moment. Your answer makes her throw her head back and laugh heartily again. — I liked that... so, what stones would you give to my sisters? — She asked, looking at me with smiling eyes.

You think for a while before answering. — Hm... Sandersonia is very sincere and really got straight to the point with me before, so I think she would be a chrysotile, I haven't talked to Marigold, but from what I've seen, she's a very serious person, even too much so, so her stone would be an onyx! — You answer thoughtfully and thinking carefully about your words, after all, choosing stones for someone was a very serious matter for you, Hancock somehow noticed this and laughed a little more. — You know, you're kind of strange. — She says, looking at you softly.

— Yeah, I know! — You say, kicking the dirt with your heels. — I tell myself that every night before I go to sleep. — You admit with a happy smile. You remain silent for a while, the captain just looks at the small stone in your hands while a warm feeling blossoms in her chest, your power was so beautiful... you were so pretty, nice... perfect, she thinks before looking at you from the corner of her eye, the way the moonlight illuminates your skin, how your eyes are closed and how happy and relaxed you seem next to her, she blushes when she realizes that she likes having you so close to her, she is feeling things for you that she had only felt for one other person before. — I think my rival is your captainl. — She grumbles, looking a little sullen and sullen at the same time.

— Did you say something? — You ask, looking at her with a thin smile on your lips, Boa Hancock just opens a huge smile as she tucks her carnelian into the bust of her dress, determined not to lose it under any circumstances. — I didn't say anything! — She answers as she gets a little closer to you. And that's how your strange relationship begins, you thought it was a strange friendship/rivalry relationship, but you are completely wrong.

The next day arrived and with it everyone was sad to have to leave the island, but your journey was just beginning. You would miss Amazon Lily a lot, even though your first experience with the island hadn't been the best, it all turned out very well in the end, you sighed when you saw more boxes going up on the ship after all the food and water had already been stocked, you ended up receiving a lot of clothes from Kujo, to everyone's guilty pleasure and the shameless pleasure of Sanji and Luffy.

The Sunny was ready to set sail, they were just waiting for the leader of Kuja's tribe to show up so you could leave, you were at the port next to Sanji and Nami to say goodbye when you finally heard Boa Hancock's voice covered in love. — My love! — She shouts as she runs to the port with her cheeks flushed while waving eagerly to you with the stone you gave her swinging on a necklace against her full chest, everyone thinks the greeting was for the captain of the Straw Hats, but when she runs towards you and holds you in her arms forcing your face to be buried in her huge breasts, everyone realizes they were wrong. — My Y/N, my love! I'm going to miss you so much, I hope to see you soon!

You manage to dig your face out of her breasts, your cheeks are flushed while you were confused. — B-but I thought we were rivals! — You ask while still being crushed in the Snake Princess's arms. — But we are rivals! — She says with her wonderful and genuine smile. — I like Luffy and you! — She winks while tapping your nose with her finger. — Now how about a goodbye kiss to help me get over the pain of your loss? — She says as she leans forward with a pout on her lips and her eyes closed, but contact never happens.

Her lips end up kissing your boyfriend's hands that have wrapped around your face preventing contact. You both look at your ship seeing how Luffy is against the Sunny's railing while looking at you maintaining his usual idiotic smile, but something in his expression seemed a little annoyed, irritated I dare say. — Jealous. — Zoro snorts in amusement. — Luffy, my darling, you don't need all that jealousy! — Hancock lets go of you while sending a bunch of kisses to your boyfriend. — I love you too! I hope you go and be careful, my love!

The captain of the Kujo Pirates holds your blushing face while swaying your body from side to side. — And take good care of our dear Y/N, don't let anything happen to her! — She says as you feel the rubber arms release your face and wrap around your waist and then you are lifted into the air and pulled to the Sunny to fall on your boyfriend's chest. — Of course I'll take care of her, she's my queen! — Luffy says confused as if the other captain's words were obvious, you don't even bother to blush already imagining that this would happen, but you end up blushing when you feel his lips on yours, you can hear Hancock's happy scream coming from the port. You know, your story could end here and that would already be a happy ending... but of course that would never happen to you.

— Y/N-swan! — You hear Sanji's scream as Sunny finally sets sail. — Is it true that you prefer that idiot marimo to me? — The cook's eyes look so sad while Zoro just looks at you with a shit-eating smile, he said he would do it and you doubted him. — I'm going to kill you, Zoro. — You grumble, but since you neither affirm nor deny, Sanji looks at you with heartbroken eyes while holding his chest dramatically. — First you date our captain and now you prefer him, you're so cruel, Y/N-swan!

— She just has good taste! — The swordsman answered yawning and this seems to revive Sanji who was furious with flame in his eyes. — What did you say, shitty swordsman? — And then the typical discussion between the two unfolds as you are taken by your captain to sit on Sunny's head on his lap, Luffy smiles as he places his precious straw hat on your head and hugs you from behind. — I love you! — He says as he kisses your cheek lightly. — I love you too! — You respond, being completely sure of your feelings.

#chubby reader #I am a chubby girl so what?#luffy x reader #monkey d. luffy #mokey d. luffy x chubby reader #one piece #one piece x chubby reader #luffy x you #insecure insecure

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mostlysignssomeportents · 2 years ago

Text

The internet is not a (link)dump truck

Monday (October 2), I'll be in Boise to host an event with VE Schwab. On October 7–8, I'm in Milan to keynote Wired Nextfest.

The second decade of the 21st century is truly a bounteous time. My backyard has produced a bumper crop of an invasive species of mosquito that is genuinely innovative: rather than confining itself to biting in the dusk and dawn golden hours, these stinging clouds of flying vampires bite at every hour that God sends:

https://themagnet.substack.com/p/the-magnet-081-war-with-mosquitoes

Here in the twilight of capitalism's planet-devouring, half-century orgy of wanton destruction, there's more news every day than I can possibly write a full blog post about every day, and as with many weeks, I have arrived at Saturday with a substantial backlog of links that didn't fit into the week's "Hey look at this" linkdumps.

Thus, the eighth installment in my ongoing, semiregular series of Saturday linkdumps:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

This week, the miscellany begins with the first hesitant signs of an emerging, post-neoliberal order. The FTC, under direction of the force-of-nature that is Lina Khan, has brought its long-awaited case antitrust case against Amazon. I am very excited about this. Disoriented, even.

When was the last time you greeted every day with a warm feeling because high officials in the US government were working for the betterment of every person in the land? It's enough to make one giddy. Plus, the New York Times let me call Amazon "the apex predator of our platform era"! Now that it's in the "paper of record," it's official:

https://pluralistic.net/ApexPredator

Now, lefties have been predicting capitalism's imminent demise since The Communist Manifesto, but any fule kno that the capitalist word for "crisis" also translates as "opportunity." Like the bedbugs that mutated to thrive in clouds of post-war DDT, capitalism has adapted to each crisis, emerging in a new, more virulent form:

https://boingboing.net/2023/09/30/bedbugs-take-paris.html

But "anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop" (Stein's Law). Perhaps our mistake was in waiting for capitalism to give way to socialism, rather than serving as a transitional phase between feudalism and…feudalism.

What's the difference between feudalism and capitalism? According to Yanis Varoufakis, it comes down to whether we value rents (income you get from owning things) over profits (income you get from doing things):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/28/cloudalists/#cloud-capital

By that metric, the FTC's case against Amazon is really a case against feudalism. Through predatory pricing and acquisitions, Amazon has turned itself into a chokepoint that every merchant, writer and publisher has to pass through in order to reach their customers. Amazon charges a fortune to traverse that chokepoint (estimates range from 45% to 51% of gross revenues) and then forces sellers to raise their prices everywhere else when they hike their Amazon prices so they can afford Amazon's tolls. It's "an economy-wide hidden tax":

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/the-ftc-sues-to-break-up-amazon-over

Now, feudalism isn't a straightforward proposition. Like, are you sure you mean feudalism? Maybe you mean "manorialism" (they're easy to mix up):

https://locusmag.com/2021/01/cory-doctorow-neofeudalism-and-the-digital-manor/

Plus, much of what we know about the "Dark Ages" comes from grifter doofuses like Voltaire, a man who was capable of dismissing the 800 year Holy Roman Empire with a single quip ("neither holy, roman, nor an empire"). But the reality is a lot more complicated, gnarly and interesting.

That's where medievalist Eleanor Janeaga comes in, and her "Against Voltaire, or, the shortest possible introduction to the Holy Roman Empire" is a banger:

https://going-medieval.com/2023/09/29/against-voltaire-or-the-shortest-possible-introduction-to-the-holy-roman-empire/

Now, while it's true that Enlightenment thinkers gave medieval times a bum rap, it's likewise true that a key element of Enlightenment justice is transparency: justice being done, and being seen to be done. One way to distinguish "modern" justice from "medieval" trials is to ask whether the public is allowed to watch the trial, see the evidence, and understand the conclusion.

Here again, there is evidence that capitalism was a transitional phase between feudalism and feudalism. The Amazon trial has already been poisoned by farcical redactions, in which every key figure is blacked out of the public record:

https://prospect.org/power/2023-09-27-redacted-case-against-amazon/

This is part of a trend. The other gigantic antitrust case underway right now, against Google, has turned into a star chamber as well, with Judge Amit P Mehta largely deferring to Google's frequent demands to close the court and seal the exhibits:

https://usvgoogle.org/trial-update-9-22

Google's rationale for this is darkly hilarious: if the public is allowed to know what's happening in its trial, this will be converted into "clickbait," which is to say, "The public is interested in this case, and if they are informed of the evidence against us, that information will be spread widely because it is so interesting":

https://www.bigtechontrial.com/p/secrecy-is-systemic

Thankfully, this secrecy is struggling to survive the public outrage it prompted. While the court's Zoom feed has been shuttered and while Judge Mehta is still all-too-willing to clear the courtroom during key testimony, at least the DoJ's exhibits aren't being sealed at the same clip as before:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/9/27/23892215/google-search-antitrust-trial-documents-public-again-judge-mehta-rules

In 2023, the world comes at you fast. There's an epic struggle over the future of corporate dominance playing out all around us. I mean, there are French antitrust enforcers kicking down doors of giant tech companies and ransacking their offices for evidence of nefarious anticompetitive plots:

https://www.theverge.com/2023/9/28/23894863/nvidia-offices-raided-french-competition-authority

As ever, the question is "socialism or barbarism." But don't say that too loud: in America, socialism is a slur, one that dates back to the Reconstruction era, when pro-slavery factions called Black voting "socialism in South Carolina."

Ever since, white nationalists used "socialism" make Americans believe that "socialism" was an "extremist" view, so they'd stand by while everyone from Joe McCarthy to Donald Trump smeared their opponents as "Marxists":

https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4066499-trump-paints-2024-campaign-as-righteous-crusade/

As Heather Cox Richardson puts it for The Atlantic, "There is a long-standing fight over whether support for the modern-day right is about taxes or race. The key is that it is about taxes and race at the same time":

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/09/american-socialism-racist-origins/675453/

The cruelty isn't the point, in other words. Cruelty is the tactic. The point is power. Remember, no war but class war. All of this is in service to paying workers less so that bosses and investors can have more.

Take "essential workers," everyone from teachers to zookeepers, nurses to librarians, EMTs to daycare workers. All of these "caring" professions are paid sub-living wages, and all of these workers are told that "they matter too much to earn a living wage":

https://www.okdoomer.io/praise-doesnt-pay/

The "you matter too much to pay" mind-zap is called "vocational awe," a crucial term introduced by Ettarh Fobazi in her 2018 paper:

https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2018/vocational-awe/

Vocational awe is how creative workers – like the writers who just won their strike and the actors who are still fighting – are conned into working at starvation wages. As the old joke goes, "What, and give up show-business?"

https://ask.metafilter.com/117904/Whats-the-joke-thas-hase-the-punchline-what-and-give-up-show-business

In this moment of Big Tech-driven, AI-based wage suppression, mass surveillance, corruption and inequality, perhaps we should take a moment to remind ourselves that cyberpunk was a warning, not a suggestion. Or, more to the point, the warning was about high-tech corporate takeover of our lives, and the suggestion was that we could seize the means of computation (a synonym for William Gibson's "the street finds its own use for things"):

http://www.seizethemeansofcomputation.org/

We are living in a lopsided cyberpunk future, long on high-tech corporate takeover, short of computation seizing. This point is made sharply in JWZ's "Dispatch From The Cyberpunk City," which is beautifully packaged as a Hypercard stack that you run on an in-browser Mac Plus emulator from the Internet Archive:

https://www.jwz.org/blog/2023/09/neuroblast-dispatch-from-the-cyberpunk-city/

Cast your gaze ahead, to the near future: Public space has all but disappeared. Corporate landlords use AI-powered robots to harass the homeless. The robots, built slick and white with an R2-D2 friendliness now most resemble giant butt plugs covered in graffiti and grime.

Science fiction doesn't have to be a warning. It can also be a wellspring of hope. That's what I tried to do with The Lost Cause, my forthcoming Green New Deal novel, which Bill McKibben called "The first great YIMBY novel":

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

Writing a hopeful novel of ecological, social and economic redemption, driven by solidarity, repair, and library socialism, was a powerful tonic against despair in this smoke-smothered, flooded, mosquito-bitten time. And while the book isn't out yet, there are early indications I succeeded, like Kim Stanley Robinson's reaction, "Along with the rush of adrenaline I felt a solid surge of hope. May it go like this."

And now, we have a concurring judgment from The Library Journal, who yesterday published their review, which concludes: "a thought-provoking story, with a message of hope in a near-future that looks increasingly bleak":

https://www.libraryjournal.com/review/the-lost-cause-2196385

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/30/mesclada/#melange

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