#amanda would make out with angela on screen if she had to

[nerdyspies]

"amangela fans stop obsessing over a parasocial ship" tell that to AMANDA not ME??

[thrillered]

You know I Mountain Dew it for ya Pt.1 | Spencer Agnew x F! Reader |

You started working at Smosh when you were 26, a few years after graduating college. In your down time you wrote and produced your own music. Not that you had much down time, which wasn’t necessarily a problem, you loved your job, you got to work with some of the most creative, talented, and hilarious people you’ve ever met. After working on it for months you finally finished writing and producing your latest single "Espresso". The song blows up but Smosh fans begin to wonder if the song is about her dear friend and coworker Spencer Agnew.

*Every piece of this work is fictional. I was inspired by Sabrina Carpenters song Espresso when I noticed how much it could apply to Spencer lol, I did NOT write or produce Espresso*

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Pt. 1: Lunch

“Hello everyone!! And welcome back to another TRY NOT TO LAUGH!” Amanda started, a burst of energy shooting throughout the sound stage. “Don’t worry, we’ve heard your requests so we grabbed Josh to do another MUSICAL episode!”

The cast cheered, you smiled as you stayed ducked behind them. “Because we’re doing a musical episode we invited the one and only Y/N to join us!” Courtney smiled, the group— Amanda, Courtney, Shayne, Angela, and Chanse— splitting to allow you to pop up. 

“Hey everyone!!” You began, the cast and crew clapping and giving whoops of encouragement. “Okay, okay, that’s enough you’re making me blush” you joked, hands behind your back and twisting your foot.

“Don’t stop blushing yet Y/N, we aren’t done talking about you.” Chanse added, shaking your shoulder. 

“We may or may not have had ulterior motives for this musical episode.” Amanda continued. “We invited Y/N to join us because she is releasing a new song!”

“AND because I'm hilariously witty, right?” you joked, causing shayne to roll his eyes. “But! Yes, the day this releases my new single “Espresso��� will be premiering at 10 pm PST, like, everywhere you get your music! This song is super fun so I hope you guys like it!” The group cheered and with that the round began.  

With Amanda in the stool first you decided to bust out your Sarah Christ impression for a beautiful ballad about how no establishments will let you smoke in them anymore. Amanda was quick to laugh, almost spraying you in the face, followed by a compliment about how good your Sarah Christ was. 

The game went by smoothly, or as smoothly as a smosh video goes, everyone making each other laugh. During your time in the stool Shayne sang, or rather yelled, one of the lowest notes you'd ever heard. You stayed strong until he had been holding the same note for probably 10 seconds and his face turned the most pained shade of red. 

“Oh thank god!” He said, leaning his hands on his knees as he caught his breath, “I think I would have gone until I passed out” 

The final round ended and you began the outro with applause, “That was so much fun! I demand to be invited to every musical TNTL from now on. Thank you guys so much for watching, we hope you laughed just as much as we did.” 

“Don't forget to stream “Espresso” by Y/N!” Chanse added, resting his chin lightly on your shoulder. 

“It’s SO good! Like, I swear to god, it's been stuck in my head since I heard it for the first time.” Angela added.

“And with that we must part ways..” You began, in a deep melodic tone. “Don’t forget to like and subscribe and check out one of these two videos on your screen! Okay bye!” 

—-

That was two weeks ago and the Try Not To Laugh was being posted today. Your single premiering tonight.  

You sat at your desk, anxiously bouncing your heel as you tried to focus on the doc in front of you. You were supposed to meet with the games team later that afternoon to discuss possible creatives for some upcoming live streams. But the only thing you could focus on was what people would think about your song. 

You aren’t new to making music. In fact, you’ve been writing it since college and even performing it at some open mics and small gigs. But, most people who knew you online knew you from Smosh, not from your musical career. You had about 3,000 monthly listeners, which always astounded you, but this was the first time that you were releasing music that was being promoted by such a large online entity. 

“Keep shaking like that and you’ll cause an earthquake” You turned to see Spencer approaching your desk, hands in his pockets. You opened your mouth to respond but he cut you off, “Everyone is gonna love your song, Y/N. You don’t need to worry.”

“You haven't even heard it yet, Spence” You retorted, having made Spencer (Along with the rest of the cast, minus Angela) swear that he would wait until the release party to listen to it. You leaned your head on your chair to look at him as he sits next to you. 

“Yes, but, you would only put out something good so I trust that the song slaps.” Spencer tried to ease your running mind, only to get a huff in return. “Okay fine.” He began, standing and grabbing your phone while simultaneously turning off your monitor. 

“Wha- Hey” You started, trying to stop him but reacting too slowly.

“We are going out to lunch.” Spencer said, matter of factly.

“But what about the games meeting?” You asked.

“Got moved back an hour, don’t you look at the slack?” he chastised.

“Okay, but isn’t everyone going out tonight anyway?” You questioned, remembering that some of the cast and crew insisted on going out to celebrate your song release.

“Yeah but that’s everyone.” Spencer began, already walking towards the door, “Consider this your pre-game with your best friend.” 

“A pre-game at..” You looked at your barren wrist, “two pm?” 

“One: you’re not wearing a watch. And two: okay, a social pre-game. Plus, I’m not taking no for an answer, so come on and let your wonderful best friend buy you lunch.”  Begrudgingly you agreed. You walked side by side to Spencer's car, him opening the passenger door for you before rounding the front and getting in the drivers side. 

You smiled as you realized where he was taking you. He took you to a little hole-in-the-wall ramen place you two had discovered the year prior. It quickly became you and Spencer's own little spot. Neither of you ever went there without the other unless it meant stopping by to take it to go on the way to the other's apartment for a game or movie night. 

The older Japanese-American couple that owned the restaurant greeted you with warm smiles, “The usual?” the husband, Kenji, asked. 

You both nodded as you took a seat in one of the four small booths that lined the wall. The comforting smell of hot broth and spices calmed your anxious mind as you closed your eyes to take a deep inhale. You and Spencer talked about some upcoming shoots and how his Baldur's Gate 3 save was going as you waited for the food to arrive. 

 It didn’t take long for Emi, the other owner, to bring out your food, “You two are just the cutest, such a wonderful young couple.” She cooed.

“Oh we’re not-” 

“Thank you Mrs. Ito, that's so sweet, we really love coming here.” You cut Spencer off, smiling at the woman's kindness. She walked off, heading to grab an order for a driver. 

You turned to find Spencer staring at you with an eyebrow slightly raised. “What?” You asked, sipping on the steaming broth.

“So you think we’re the ‘most wonderful young couple’ huh?”

“Of course I do honeybun.” You jested, leaning over the table and tapping Spencer's cheek sarcastically. Resuming your meal as Spencer rolls his eyes.

The rest of your lunch is pleasant, filled with chatter about everything yet nothing. You tried to pay for your lunch when Mrs. Ito brings the bill but Spencer insists on covering it since he wanted to take you to lunch to distract you. 

“Thank you spence, I really needed that.” You said, grabbing Spencer’s hand in thanks as you walked back into the office. 

He squeezed your hand lightly, “I always know what you need.” And he did, Spencer was a consistent support system for you, had been since you began at Smosh. Beginning as an editor you worked with Spencer a lot. Your friendship blossomed over a shared love of movies and games. 

Over the years you got closer and closer until you were unequivocally best friends. Weekly movie nights, breakfast, lunch, and dinner dates solidified that years ago. Now there’s hardly any time you spend without each other. 

You walked hand in hand to the conference room, ready for the games meeting now that your head was clear.

[shebecamethesun]

Surprise!

- amangela au - 4k+ words

~

Tonight was Amanda's surprise birthday party, and Angela was two things going wrong away from wanting to jump out the window. She had been spending most of her time preparing for this party the past week, which meant no date nights with her girlfriend, which lead to Amanda sending her ten i miss you texts this morning, which lead to her having to give the rein over to Chanse so that she could be with her girlfriend. It was two hours before she was supposed to bring Amanda to the airbnb she rented for tonight, and Chanse just texted her that the catering screwed up and sent fish, not chicken like she asked for.

"Ang? Hello?" Angela snaps her head up to look at Amanda, whom she thought was too busy watching the new Dateline episode to notice that she hasn't really been paying attention. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, 'Manda. Just Chanse being a little shit," she answered with a feigned sigh. "Let's keep watching, okay?" She clicked the lock button on her phone and placed it on the table facedown before dropping her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. Fuck it, they'll just order pizza if need be. Amanda didn't care anyway, as she put it so eloquently, "As long as I'm kissing you at midnight, I don't care what we do on my birthday." This earned her a "That's for New Year's eve, idiot, but okay" from her ever so loving partner.

Amanda raised an eyebrow at what Angela did. Angela never puts her phone facedown. Was she hiding something? Is that why she has been so distant this past week? Jesus Christ, Amanda. Pull yourself together, she says to herself. Maybe Angela had just been busy. Or maybe just distracted. By something. Or someone.

A shiver ran down Amanda's spine as thoughts began racing in her head. Angela would never.

Angela is Amanda's best friend aside from being her girlfriend. She would never hurt her. Even back when they were just friends, Angela had been so fiercely loyal to her. Thus, she knew in her heart of hearts, Angela would never ever betray her.

Angela loves Amanda.

And Amanda loves her back. So much.

Angela would never hurt her.

She repeated this like a mantra as she wrapped an arm around Angela. She repeated it as she kissed the top of Angela's head. She repeated it as she watched Angela smile, murmuring "I love you" before turning her attention back to the screen. She repeated it as her girlfriend shifted against her, changing her position a bit so that she could bury her face in Amanda's neck.

She loves me.

Amanda pretended not to notice when Angela started moving again, this time to start kissing her neck. She stayed still as her lips softly brushed against Amanda's pulse point. She even stayed still as Angela's hand began slowly moving towards her thigh.

There are some things she can't pretend not to notice though, and one of those is when Angela started softly sucking on her exposed skin after kissing it. Her skin felt like it was lit up, and Amanda knew that Angela felt how she stiffened from the contact. But Amanda wouldn't so easily give in to Angela's antics. She bit her lower lip to stop herself from moaning.

Angela, on the other hand, was having the time of her life. She missed how Amanda's skin felt on her lips, and she couldn't believe how she had the self-control to stay away from her girlfriend at all this past week. She'll make it up to her though. She'll bring Amanda to her party and watch her face light up as everyone she loves celebrates her. She'll take the arm slap she'll surely receive as her girlfriend says "I love you, idiot."

Just less than two hours to go.

And what better way to make time pass quickly than by celebrating the two of them this instant? Angela knew that her girlfriend was only pretending to be absorbed in what she was watching. She was a damn good actress. But Angela knew Amanda. She knew that her girlfriend was seconds away from forgetting that she's pretending that she's not as turned on as Angela was.

"Babe, I thought you said we should keep watching the show..." Amanda says softly, almost breathless. Angela smirks.

"I am watching, Amanda."

"The TV's right there-"

Angela, being the little shit she was (which Amanda loves by the way) takes that opportunity and whispers directly in her ear, "Watching you pretend you don't want to moan and scream my name in pleasure on this couch."

Amanda rolls her eyes. Angela was right, but she didn't need to know that. The lack of response from Amanda meant Angela was free to go back to kissing her neck. And that's exactly what she did.

As much as Amanda wanted to pull away, she couldn't. She missed Angela, goddamn it. She missed kissing her girlfriend. She missed being kissed by her girlfriend. She missed making Angela so blissed out from pleasure that she forgets where her body ends and Amanda's begins.

So Amanda lets herself lose. She loses herself in Angela's languid kisses, now creating a path from her neck to her ear. She loses herself in the way Angela says "I missed you, baby."

Fuck it. It was her birthday in a few hours, and Amanda wanted to celebrate.

Not wanting to play the pretend game anymore, she gently pulls Angela. Her girlfriend moves quickly, settling in her lap in less than three seconds.

"Well that was fast," she manages to say. Angela's eyes were wide, hunger imminent in her pupils. She felt some sense of relief knowing that her girlfriend wanted her as much as she always has. This gave her the confidence to tease Angela and say, "Eager to lose your virginity, are we?"

It's amazing how Amanda and Angela can switch roles in an instant. It's one of the things they loved about their relationship. They give and take, never feeling like they were in a competition with each other. The only exemptions to this being the Challenge Pit and Smosh Games videos.

Angela being Angela says, "Fuck off."

Amanda smirks. "How about I fuck you instead, honey?"

She didn't give Angela the opportunity to protest as she quickly closed the distance between them.

Amanda felt like this past week, not being able to spend time with her girlfriend was hell, and now that her lips were on Angela's, she was in heaven.

Heaven was kissing her girlfriend senseless, only stopping to breathe and then a second later pulling each other close again to claim each other's lips. Heaven was her girlfriend wrapping her legs around Amanda's waist. Heaven was Amanda saying I love you and Angela saying it back immediately. Heaven is here on her couch, and Angela is quite literally the most beautiful angel Amanda has ever seen. With her hands roaming around Amanda's body and her tongue inside her mouth, Amanda was sure that Angela was heavensent. And she was hers.

Pretty soon, both of their tops were off, thrown haphazardly on the floor. The couple was only focused on feeling each other's skin, everything else be damned.

One of Amanda's hands was in Angela's hair, pulling softly as her girlfriend bites her lower lip. The other was on her lower back, making sure she was kept in place and that she won't fall off. Angela would have complained, except she has fallen off of Amanda's lap before. Once.

To be fair, it happened because Angela was super amped up. They were on their first trip together, and Amanda had taken her home to Boston to introduce her to her family as her girlfriend. The night was a rousing success, and all Angela wanted to do when they got up to Amanda's childhood bedroom was to show Amanda how happy she was. Things progressed quickly, and what started out as softly grinding on her girlfriend's lap ended up with Angela on the carpeted floor because she miscalculated just how long Amanda's thighs were.

Since then, no matter how heated their activities were, Amanda's hand never leaves Angela's back.

Angela's hands, however, were much freer to go wherever they wanted and touch whatever they wanted. She softly traced a path from Amanda's cheek downwards, taking in the other woman's groans as she touched her. A small gasp escaped Amanda's lips as Angela's hand stopped on the top of her shorts.

"Can I?" Angela asks against her lips.

Amanda nodded feverishly, wanting nothing more than for Angela's hand to finally go to where she wanted it to. "I'm yours, Ang."

Angela smiles widely, and Amanda feels her heart grow. "I love you."

"I love y-"

Her answer hasn't completely left her mouth when Angela's phone rings loudly.

And just like that, Amanda knew that Angela's hand wasn't going to be where she wanted it to be.

As much as she wanted to tell Angela to ignore it, they were both the kind of people who needed to answer calls. No matter where they were. Or what position they were in.

Angela looks up at her with guilt, but Amanda musters up a clipped smile. She gives Angela a quick peck before she taps her girlfriend's legs, which were still wrapped around her waist.

"Go answer it," she tells her. Amanda knew that Angela was going to apologize, so she beats her to it. "It's okay, babe."

"Amanda..." Angela begins as she unwraps herself around Amanda. "I'm-"

She gives her a clipped smile again as she stands up from the couch. "I'm going to take a bath, yeah? We need to leave for our reservation in a bit anyway."

Angela could only watch as Amanda picked up their shirts off the floor. She keeps her eyes on her as she hands Angela her shirt.

"I love you," Angela repeats, not knowing what else to say. The turn in Amanda's mood was valid, and Angela wanted nothing more than to ignore the call, but there was a 99% chance it was Chanse, and she couldn't exactly leave him hanging to solve the problems of a party that Angela was throwing for her girlfriend.

"I love you, too," Amanda says after what Angela thought was way too long of a pause. She then walked away from Angela, heading to the bathroom inside her room.

Angela knew that she owes Chanse bigtime, but she also wanted to kill him for disturbing her and Amanda's moment and upsetting her girlfriend.

It turns out that Amanda was right that Angela needed to answer the call. Half of their friends were in the airbnb already, and there was a problem. Three problems actually.

First, Anthony and Ian were obviously in a fight according to Chanse. The two arrived in a foul mood and were sitting separately, which was unusual. Chanse thinks her can solve it though and asked Erin and Mallory for help. Erin took Ian aside and Mallory took Anthony. Chanse was hopeful those two could knock some sense into the couple.

Second, there were no utensils anywhere. Angela cursed herself as she remembered that she only told people to bring alcohol and that she will take care of everything else. She clearly remembers writing it on her notes, but since there was a change of plans, she wasn't able to drop by Target to get the utensils they needed. Luckily, Shayne and Court were already on their way, and Angela didn't need to grovel much to ask them to buy the utensils and other things they needed for her. Angela was so thankful to the couple that she promised Shayne she'll let him beat her at Don't Win Mario Party next shoot.

Third, and probably the most thing Chanse was worried abt, was the food. Everyone knew about Amanda and Angela's aversion to fish. Chanse suggested cooking something really quick, but Angela said he was already doing so much for her and that she'll take care of it. After a few minutes, they both decided that they should just get food delivered from Amanda's favorite restaurant. Fortunately, Angela knew the owner so she was able to convince him to make a group order even though the restaurant didn't do that. They ate there almost every week, so he was willing to make an exemption for them.

Angela ended the call about twenty minutes later, telling Chanse that she had to check in on Amanda.

"This is partly your fault," she couldn't help saying. "You pussyblocked my girlfriend on her birthday!"

"Bitch, it was not my fault you two were too horny to function," Chanse responds immediately, a hint of fake irritation in his voice. Angela knew he was not serious. "And it's not her birthday. Yet."

"I'm telling you, if Amanda's upset on her birthday, I will sue you for emotional distress."

"And I'll see you at gay court. Now get your horny asses here," Chanse says in a teasing way before hanging up.

Angela made a note to get him back for that later. Right now, the most important thing is to make sure Amanda isn't upset.

She beelines to Amanda's room, sure that she's done with her shower. She wasn't there, however. Even though she couldn't hear the water running in the bathroom, Angela knocked on the door. It was the only place her girlfriend could be in, unless she was too caught up in the call with Chanse to notice that Amanda left the apartment.

And leaving without saying goodbye wasn't something that Amanda did. Even when they had their big fight months ago, Amanda chose to sleep on the sofa in Angela's apartment than to go home. Amanda stays. Always.

Plus they didn't really fight. Right?

Angela was a bit nervous as she turned the knob and opened the door.

Her breath hitched when Amanda's eyes and hers met. There were streaks of tears on her girlfriend's cheeks.

Angela felt her heart break a little, knowing she was the reason why her girlfriend was crying.

"Amanda..."

"H-hey," she says, feigning a sense of control. She quickly wiped the tears on her face. I'm fine, she tells herself. "Angela, I'm fi-"

"Don't." Angela says way too quickly. She crosses the distance between them and wraps her arms around Amanda. "I'm so sorry, Manda."

And just like that, Amanda began crying again. Angela let her girlfriend cry, rubbing her back as she whispered "It's okay" over and over again.

A few minutes later, Angela felt Amanda's breath returning to normal. She didn't let go, though, and Amanda, who at some point while she was crying, wrapped her arms around Angela, didn't let go either.

They stayed that way for a few more minutes until Angela felt like Amanda was ready to talk. They needed to talk.

Angela knew they would be late to the party but she didn't care about that right now. She would not let her girlfriend leave her apartment sad. Especially not on her birthday. Angela was determined to sort this out and make everything okay.

"Manda?"

"Mhmm?"

"We should talk, yeah?" When Amanda didn't answer, Angela shifted so that she can face her. Without removing her arms around Amanda, she says, "Baby, we need to talk about this. You're upset, and I hate making you upset. So we need to talk about it so that it never happens again, okay?"

Amanda finally nods. Angela tiptoes, and places a soft kiss on Amanda's forehead before gently guiding her out of the bathroom.

Angela helps her sit on the bed and waits until Amanda was ready to talk.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Amanda finally says when she calms down. "I was just too in my head and I couldn't help it." She looks at Angela and sees no judgment from her eyes, which makes Amanda want to cry again. "It's just that I feel like you have been quite distant from me the past few days. I know you're busy, and maybe I just missed you a little bit too much, but I'm not used to you being away from me for more than a day. I only saw you once this week, and it was a shoot day. I'm not usually this clingy, and on a good day, I would probably let you tease me about this, but I really did miss you. We usually never let a day go by without seeing each other, so this week, when five days passed by before I saw you again, I thought, "Oh, maybe Angela was getting tired of me."

Angela felt her heart drop. "Amanda, I-"

"And I got scared. What if you really were getting tired of me? What if you were starting to fall out of love with me?" Amanda could feel the tears threatening to spill from her eyes again. The fear she had felt like it was crawling out of her skin. Amanda tried to imagine a world where Angela didn't love her anymore, and talking about it with her girlfriend was making it seem more real, more tangible. She truly thinks she would not survive it. She would not survive being Angela's past. She would not survive not being loved by Angela anymore. Her love is all she knew now. How is she going to live without it?

She didn't want to.

She was again spiraling into her thoughts when she felt hands clasping her own, holding her tight. Angela's voice broke her out of the haze she was in.

"Amanda, I would never fall out of love with you."

"But you might," she responds petulantly. "We don't know that you won't, Angela. One day I might be too loud or too much or too annoying or competitive."

On any other day, Angela would have laughed at her admittance of being loud. Amanda would respond to it by sticking her tongue out, and Angela would roll her eyes at her before they both dissolved into a fit of giggles. But today was different.

"I need you to listen to me, okay?" Angela says softly, her tone pleading. How can Amanda say no to that?

"I would never fall out of love with you, Amanda. You wouldn't believe how stupidly head over heels in love I am with you. I love you so much, and all of the things you mentioned? The things you said would make me fall out of love with you are things that I love about you because they make you... you. And I love you, Amanda."

"I love that you don't hold back whether it is during a bit or a normal conversation. I love that you express yourself the way you want to without caring if you look like an idiot. And annoying? You think I would fall out of love with you because of that? Amanda, I fell in love with you even when you were teasing the shit out of me for that werewolf fiasco or the 9-11 thing. In your own way, you annoying me is you showing me how much you care about me and showering me with your attention, which took me a while to figure out you know," Amanda lets out a small smile at this, remembering how everyone figured out how she felt for Angela because she was the only person she teased relentlessly.

"And I don't mind how competitive you are. It's honestly hot. Makes things fun in bed too, you know," Angela tries to say nonchalantly, but the blush in her cheeks fails her, and this is when the tightness in Amanda's chest finally lets up.

"Horny much?"

"HEY!"

They both laugh, and the tension in the room slowly dissipates.

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way, Manda," Angela says after a while. "I hope you know that I love you, and nothing is going to change that, not even not seeing each other for a few days." Amanda was about to whine, but Angela beats her to it. "But I promise that if ever there comes a time in the future where we'd need to be apart from each other for days, I'll make sure to make you feel my presence so you don't miss me too much. Sound good?"

"Or you can just take me with you."

Angela laughs and holds out her arms, asking Amanda to close out the distance between them. Amanda gladly does, as she really does feel better about the whole situation. Angela listened to her without judgment and suggested something they can do to make sure this never happens again. And knowing Angela? It probably really never will.

Amanda knows how lucky she is to have Angela in her life. Not everyone is fortunate enough to fall in love with and be loved by their best friend, but she is. And for that, she would be eternally grateful.

And as Amanda kissed Angela seconds later, she made sure to show her girlfriend just how grateful she is.

This show of gratefulness lasted about an hour. A quick one, if Amanda was being honest. They usually last much much longer than that.

Angela and Amanda were now laying in bed, Angela's left leg on Amanda's, and Amanda's arm under Angela's head. Just as Amanda liked it, they don't know where Angela's body ends and Amanda's begins. She sighs contentedly, pressing a kiss on the side of Angela's head.

"I'm really glad you were not hiding anything from me," Amanda says, moments later, drawing circles on Angela's back.

Suddenly, Angela's eyes flutter open, shocked, and exclaims, "Shit! Amanda, we have to go!"

It was during the car ride that Angela explained to Amanda what had been really going on. The details of the surprise birthday party were divulged, and Amanda swears she felt herself falling deeper for Angela as she talked about how she wanted to make Amanda's first birthday with her memorable. Angela talked about wanting to make her happy because she deserves it and she loves making her happy.

Amanda, for all intents and purposes, was responsible. She made sure to park the car somewhere safe before she pulled Angela over her lap.

"Amanda, what the hell are you doing?"

A wide smile painted Amanda's lips as she said, "Showing gratefulness, baby," before she pulled her into a kiss. She couldn't help but bury her face on Angela's neck as she unclasped her girlfriend's bra, leaving wet kisses and sucking on her skin.

---

It was 45 minutes later when they finally arrived at the airbnb Angela rented for the party. As soon as they stepped inside, the lights flickered open and everyone started singing the happy birthday song to Amanda.

Angela could only watch in admiration as Amanda acted shocked. She really was a damn good actress.

She felt like she had only been staring at her girlfriend for a second when a voice startled her.

"You horny bitch," Chanse says accusingly. "You were almost an hour late!"

"Let me remind you that you had a fault in that. We could have arrived perfectly in time if you didn't interrupt us!"

Chanse points a finger at her neck. "Interrupt my ass. Cover up that hickey before anyone else sees." He says before walking away.

Angela flips him off but then remembers that he helped her out a lot today, so she shouts, "I owe you one, bitch!"

"And I've always said that!" She watches with a smile as he walks over to join their improv friends.

Just then, a loud noise catches Angela's attention. She turns to look back at where her girlfriend was standing minutes earlier. She had no idea how things progressed so quickly, but she watched as Patrick handed Amanda two shots of tequila. "You need to catch up, you're late," he says, to which Amanda just laughs. She watches as Amanda's eyes survey the room before landing on her, and just before she takes that second shot, she winks at her. A blush creeped on her cheeks, and Angela remembered how Amanda gave her the same wink when she complained about her legs felt like jelly after their little rendezvous in the car.

Angela swears she could have just stayed there forever, just watching her girlfriend have a good time. But then she saw Tommy coming towards Amanda with a tray of different colored shots, and Angela knew she had to save her girlfriend, or at least take some of the shots for her.

Hours passed by like seconds, and suddenly, Angela was being pulled by Amanda yet again. This time though, it wasn't on the couch or in her car, Amanda just pulled her closer to her, their faces a few inches away from each other.

Angela was a little late to realize why Amanda did that, until she heard people counting down.

Ten

Nine

Eight

Seven

Six

"I love you, Angela."

Four

Three

Two

"Happy birthday, Amanda. I love you, too."

As the clock struck midnight on Amanda's birthday, one of her birthday wishes came true. She was kissing Angela, and she was as happy as she could be. She was also pretty sure she could feel the camera flashes going off. She didn't care, though. The only things that mattered to her were Angela's lips on hers and how she whispered that on her next birthday, she'll make sure it was only the two of them celebrating.

Oh, and the engagement ring that she was hiding in her desk at the office. That was pretty important to Amanda, too.

She couldn't wait until it was her turn to surprise Angela.

[cuecrynsleep]

Reconnecting the Past

Amangela | Reunion AU!

Chapter 14: We Remain Friends

Amanda and Angela call for the first time in many years.

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be a representation of those in Smosh, rather a fan made perspective on the characters they portray online. Remain respectful.

← Ch. 13 | Ch. 15 → | Masterlist

────────────────────

Amanda stared at her phone intently as if her eyes alone would make the screen change. Her teeth bit down on her bottom lip lightly, waiting impatiently for Angela to pick up. It's not like it was taking minutes, where really only mere seconds passed. It was weird. Beforehand the thought of calling her was passing but now that it was actually happening she couldn't help but wait in anticipation.

She had an idea of what her voice sounded like, but she couldn't remember it exactly. Maybe, if all those years ago, she committed her voice to her mind deeper she'd be able to hear Angela's voice in her messages. Memories of countless late night calls, falling asleep to each other's voices festered in her mind.

Then, as if Angela could hear her thoughts, she joined the call. A simple greeting came from her mouth, stopping Amanda from even speaking as it shook her to her core.

"Hey Amanda."

Her eyes widened as she choked on air itself. Fuck. It really has been a long time. The sound of her voice was painfully nostalgic and she couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips. She missed it. She missed the flood gates of memories attached to her voice. The way her voice was endlessly expressive and how raspy it’d get in the morning.

"Hi Ange," she manages to say. "Sorry, hearing your voice caught me off guard."

"Well," Angela paused, her voice shaky as she spoke. "I'd agree but you sent me a voice note before."

"What can I say?" Amanda lightly chuckled. "I like keeping you on your toes I guess."

There was a brief moment of silence, before Angela found her voice. "You always keep me on my toes." She said in almost a murmur, yet Amanda could make out her voice. She seemingly shifted, hesitating over her words, before clearing her throat. “Whatever, go do your laundry.”

Amanda stared down at the laundry basket in front of her, completely forgetting the chore the moment the call started. She chuckled. “Maybe you do distract me, I forgot about my laundry.”

“That's the whole reason this call started,” Angela deadpanned.

"Laundry or actually talking to you?" Amanda asked, without it actually being meant as a question. "It's obvious which one I'd choose anyday." She said, as she sorted through her laundry basket separating her clothes.

As if it was bound to happen a comfortable silence filled the call as Amanda continued to sort through her laundry. Eventually she heard Angela's light humming over the background noise of her sifting through some papers. A natural smile pulled at her lips as she enjoyed the moment. Then as the conversation delved into random true crime cases for the next hour and a half, she found her night truly enjoyable.

[angelagiarratana]

The Hundred Dollar Bet

Happy New Year!

You were prepping for the upcoming night with Amanda’s bet hanging over your head. You had confided in Amanda a couple of months back about your feelings for a certain Italian woman…

“I think falling in love is a little dramatic Amanda.” You glared at her and she gave you a knowing look from across your living room. “Y/n you just told me you can’t breathe when she’s close to you because you just want to reach out and touch her.” She looked over her wine glass at you and smirked. You flopped back onto the couch with a loud groan, “What do I even do?” Amanda laughed, “Y/n/n, you tell her.” You shot up. 

“I cannot do that, what if it ruins everything.” You looked sadly at Amanda, pitiful almost. “I promise you won’t. I will bet $100 you won’t, but you have to do it before the year is over.” You looked at the fall decor you just put out across your apartment, 3 months, you could do that, “Fine.”

You decided it was now or never and picked up your phone. You decided to just Facetime her rather than waiting on a reply. 

Ring, ring- 

Angela’s face popped up on your screen. She was obviously sat at her desk working? “Angela! Happy New years!” Angela's heart skips a beat as she hears your greeting. She can't help but feel a surge of happiness knowing you remembered and took the time to wish her a Happy New Year.

“Happy New Year, Y/n! Thank you so much for thinking of me.”

She raises her imaginary glass, playfully toasting to the future, her eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than usual before setting her eyes back on Spork. Secretly, she hopes that this year will bring them closer, and that her subtle attempts to win your affection won't go unnoticed.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” 

Angela's heart flutters with anticipation. She takes a moment to compose herself and respond, trying to keep her excitement in check. “Oh, um, not really. I don't have any concrete plans for tonight.”  She tries to keep her voice casual, even though deep down she hopes you'll invite her to join in on your celebrations.

“I was going to go out with a couple friends if you want to join?”

Her heart skips a beat at your invitation. She tries her best to hide her excitement, but a small smile tugs at the corner of her lips. “Really? I would love to join you and your friends, Y/n! It sounds like a fun way to ring in the New Year.

Her voice carries a mix of joy and nervousness, as she tries to maintain her composure while secretly hoping this could be a chance to spend more time with you outside of work. “10:30 tonight at Sage work for you?” She quickly notes down the details, trying to hide the excitement bubbling inside her.

“Perfect! I'll be there.” You stared at her for a moment, taking in her messy bun and hoodie. She looked perfect. “What dress code are we going for?” You thought for a moment, there was no agreed upon vibe for tonight, “Wear something black.” She smiled, “Black got it. I’ll see you later?” You nodded. 

After the call you jumped into hyper mode, calling your friends to let them know and trying on 14 different outfits. 

“You were so drunk, dude! Don’t try to deny it” Your friends were retelling a story from a few months ago when you felt a hand on your shoulder. Behind you stood Angela wearing black jeans and a sparkly black, tiny, top. She was wearing more makeup than you had ever seen her in, but she looked perfect. Angela took a moment to let her eyes sweep over you, a beautiful white dress adorning your body in a way that hugged your curves just right. The bar is filled with lively music, laughter, and the clinking of glasses.

Throughout the night, Angela subtly finds ways to interact with you, catching your eye during funny moments or sharing inside jokes. She laughs at your jokes a little too loudly, her eyes shining with genuine joy. She's also attentive to your needs, casually offering to grab your favorite drink or checking in on you to make sure you're having a good time. All the while, she tries her best to give you small hints of her feelings, hoping you'll notice and reciprocate.

As the countdown to the New Year begins, Angela leans in closer, her voice filled with excitement.“Can you believe it's almost midnight?” She gently brushes her hand against yours as if by accident, her heart racing with hope that her subtle advances haven't gone unnoticed. You turn to face her, grabbing her hand, “I’m glad you came tonight.”  A rush of emotions fills her. Her heart skips a beat as she feels the warmth of your touch, a mix of surprise and joy spreading across her face. “I’m glad I came too, Y/n.”

Her voice is filled with a mixture of relief and happiness, her eyes locked with yours. In that moment, the loud bar seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you entwined in a shared connection. A shy, yet genuine smile spreads across your lips.

But deep down, you still can't shake off your fears of her not feeling the same way.

As 11:59 came around you took a deep breath, “Angela I need to tell you something?” Angela holding her glass in the other turned to you, “What’s up? Do I have nachos on my face?” You chuckled and shook your head, “No, it’s not that.” Someone from across the bar called out 30 seconds, “Angela I really like you. As in I want to go on dates, and sip wine on your couch. I want to hold your hand and scratch your back. I want to suprise you with flowers and coffee in bed. I want it all with you.” Angela's heart skips a beat as she listens to your heartfelt confession. Her eyes widen with surprise and a mix of excitement and happiness fills her. 

As the clock strikes midnight, the bar erupts into cheers and applause. The room is filled with excitement and Angela grabs your chin, placing her lips on yours. The hand holding the glass snakes around your waist, pulling you into her. You let yourself melt into the kiss, hand falling into her hair. 

When you pull away you rest your forehead on hers, making a mental note to cashapp request Amanda for $100. 

[trueromantic1]

The Myth of Me and You Is Fiction Turned To Truth

Summary: After the events of both seasons (SVU 22x16 and OC 1x08), Olivia and Elliot find themselves in the unique position of knowing where there love story will end up, but having no idea what exactly will transpire to get them there. One thing they do know? Their love can only grow deeper, and that they’re bound to enjoy the journey.

Author’s Note: For the purposes of this story, SVU 22x16 ended on May 28 (canon) and OC 1x08 ended on June 4 (not canon). This picks up on June 7.

Title comes from Great Ones by Maren Morris. It’s definitely an EO song.

Rating: M, possibly Explicit eventually

ff.net: here

AO3: here

Her phone beeped, drawing her distracted gaze away from the paperwork in front of her. Seeing the text message notification lighting up the screen, Olivia took off her glasses and put her pen down, picked up the phone, and leaned back in her chair with a sigh as she unlocked it.

Can I buy you dinner? There’s news.

She frowned, trying to tell his mood from those few words. Realizing it would be impossible, she glanced out at the nearly empty squad room before hitting the call button instead.

“You didn’t have to call. I know you’re at work still Liv.” Judging by the voices she could hear in the background, he was still at work as well. She knew they’d been dealing with the lawyers and IAB ever since Morales turned out to be a mole and decided suicide by cop was the best way out.

“It’s fine El. I needed a break from the paperwork for a minute anyway. The one thing they never prepare you for is just how much paperwork you do when you’re in charge of a squad. So, what’s going on?”

He chuckled, and she could hear the creak as he leaned back in his own chair. “That’s what dinner is supposed to be for Liv. If I tell you now, what would be the point of dinner?”

She smiled, recognizing his tone as the slightly flirty one she’d been hearing more of ever since what was supposed to be Fin’s wedding. Neither one of them was ready to jump into a relationship, but they’d come to a silent understanding that night by the water. “I don’t know Elliot. We’ve never needed a reason for dinner before. Why don’t you just tell me the news now, and then you can come over to my place later and we’ll get Chinese. Noah’s taking advantage of it being summer vacation and is at a sleepover so his friend’s mom can take them to an early show of a ballet she worked on costumes for. Apparently, they allow friends and family to come for free on Tuesdays, but it’s normally during the school day.”

“Oh, I bet he’s excited. Sleepover during the week and going to a professional ballet performance?”

“Yes, he’s thrilled. It’s all he talked about all weekend. Now quit stalling Elliot. What’s going on?”

“I never could get one by you, could I? Okay. Well, Angela Wheatley woke up earlier today, and is expected to make a full recovery. Bell and Washburn went over to the hospital once they cleared her for visitors. And we’re finally supposed to be done dealing with IAB and the lawyers over this. We still have to wait for IAB’s official report, but I got the feeling none of us were going to get in trouble for what happened. They told Bell they’d already spoken to you as well, so you should be done with them for now too. And then on a more personal note, you remember I told you I was looking at apartments in the city? At Fin’s not-wedding and then that I had some more appointments the rest of that weekend? Well, I found one, and I went down and signed the lease today during lunch.”

“El, I’m glad things are working out with the case, and that IAB will be out of all of our hair. It’s still bothering me what exactly Richard Wheatley was planning with that fake text sending me to the hospital. But I guess we won’t know unless he decided to tell us. But way to bury the lead! El, that’s great! I can’t believe you found a place in just a week. You didn’t just settle for something did you? You need a good place for you and Eli to make a home.” She knew he’d been anxious about getting out of the one bedroom short-term he’d rented after Kathy’s death, so she hoped he’d taken his time to find something he really liked.

“It’s nice, knowing you worry about us. And thanks. Don’t worry, it’s actually a great place. Rent’s a little higher than I’d planned, but I can make it work. It’s about halfway between here and the one six actually. About two blocks from the school Eli will be going to, assuming they’re back to in person by then. And it’s a three bedroom two and a half bath, which I figure will come in handy if any of the kids decide to visit and don’t want to drive home ever. And it’s near a park, in case anyone else wanted to visit. I take possession this Sunday, and Bell gave me Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday off so I can get some stuff moved in. I’ve got some furniture scheduled for delivery on Monday.” The calm she’d been hearing more and more in the last few weeks shone through, which she knew was at least in part because he’d finally started talking to someone. But she thought a lot of it had to do with settling back into the city, since he’d confided that as much as they’d been happy in Italy, the energy had just never been exactly right to him.

“I’ll always worry El, you know that. I’m glad though. Now you and Eli have all summer to get settled in. Hopefully he’ll meet some of his future classmates, so he won’t fell so new when school starts back up. And you know, it just so happens, I might know someone who could come help you get things set up. You know, if you were interested.” She made sure to infuse her voice with a hint of suggestion, upping the playful flirting they’d been indulging in just a bit. She mentally patted herself on the back when she heard the hitch in his breath followed him clearing his throat. His next words, voice lowered and with a hint of a growl, proved he hadn’t lost a step either, as she felt herself flush with arousal and a corresponding dampness between her thighs that she was fast becoming reacquainted with that caused her to cross her legs and shift in her seat to try to alleviate the pressure.

“Is that so? Well, far be it from me to turn down someone willing to work up a sweat with me. Why don’t we discuss it more over dinner? I should be able to be to your place by 7, if that works for you.”

She checked the time, then the stack of papers she needed to finish, then glanced into the squad room. Seeing her people were now at their desks, folders open in front of them, she quickly calculated it’d be at least another hour before she could even think of leaving, especially if she planned to take three days off next week. “Make it 8?”

“8 it is. Want me to pick up our usual on my way over, or are we having it delivered?”

“Hmm, better pick it up. You know how busy they get. If you call it in when you leave, it’ll probably be just about ready by the time you get there.”

“Sound good. I’ll let you go so you can finish up all that paperwork. See you in a few hours Liv.”

“Alright. Bye El.” Hanging up, she pressed the phone against her chest a moment, savoring the warm feeling she always seemed to get when she talked to Elliot these days, before standing up and walking out into the squad room.

“Anything you guys haven’t finished by 7, you can leave until tomorrow. Short of a new case, you can all clock out then, since we’re currently between cases.” She turned to head back to her office and the stack of paperwork, but turned back around when Amanda spoke.

“Are you clocking out then too Cap? I know Noah’s at that sleepover. You shouldn’t stay late finishing paperwork anymore if we aren’t.” Her detective’s voice was concerned, and she realized just how much her stress and worry over the last three months must have shown, despite how hard she tried to hide it.

“Yes, he’s already called me to say goodnight, because apparently they will be too busy the rest of the night with sleepover stuff to worry about me. But don’t worry, I’m clocking out then too. Even if that pile of paperwork is only going to grow when you all turn in your paperwork.” She turned again, hoping to make it into her office before anyone thought too hard about her clocking out when she didn’t have to, but Fin’s teasing voice told her she was too late.

“You? Clock out early when you don’t have Noah waiting at home? What’s up? You got yourself a hot date or something?”

She was a Captain. Had been a police officer for over twenty years. She’d had to keep her cool when being questioned on the stand by lawyers all the time. But she knew, she knew, that she couldn’t hide the hitch in her step or the slight wince as he asked his question. Even as she turned back around, her face carefully blank, she knew he’d caught her. “Date? No, I don’t have a date. Who would I even have a date with?” Internally, she winced again as she heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Elliot Stabler tell her that asking that many questions just made her sound defensive, and therefore all the more suspicious. Registering the varying degrees of shock on the three’s faces, she smirked to herself for surprising them at least.

“Oh, I don’t know. A certain Detective, maybe? I saw you two together at the ceremony, off in your own little world by the water. Almost like old times, ‘cept the flirting was a little too obvious.”

Trying to control the embarrassed flush she could feel, she internally cursed. She’d hoped everyone had been too preoccupied to pay attention to her and Elliot, but knew that had probably been too much to hope for. She knew the rumor mill had picked right back up when he’d returned, and people realized they were talking again. “Alright, yes, I’m meeting Elliot for dinner. But it’s not a date. We’re just going to do some catching up over Chinese. We haven’t really had much time to just talk since he came back.” She ignored the pointed look he shot her, and appreciated that Amanda and Kat at least pretended not to be interested, as she finally made it back into her office. She heard his footsteps though, saw him shut the door behind him as she sat down behind her desk.

“You sure about this? I just don’t want you getting hurt. Don’t forget, I was here when he left.” She could see the worry clouding his face, and resigned to give him the truth. After all, he’d been there for it all.

“I’m sure. We’re…Taking things slow. We’ve talked, and while neither one of us is ready to just jump straight into a relationship, we’ve discussed it, and have agreed that’s where we’re heading. So we flirt some, and we spend time together, and we talk. We’re not defining it yet. I know it sounds like dating, and maybe in a way it is. But what’s important to us is rekindling our friendship, first and foremost. We’ve already talked about why he left, how he left. And I’ve told him not only what it did to me, but I’ve told him what he missed. He was…Devastated. It turns out the whole family was in France at the time, and by the time the kids came back, it had already become old news. He swore he would have come back had he known, and I believe him. I’d always wondered if he’d just stopped caring, but if you’d seen how he looked, you’d have had to believe him too. So yes, I’m sure about this. We’re going to take things slow for now, but we know where we’re going to end up, even if we aren’t sure when that will happen. Speaking of Elliot though, I’m going to take a few personal days next week to help him get moved into his new place. He gets the keys on Sunday, and his furniture comes Monday.”

He still looked a little worried, but she could tell he would take her at her word. “If you say so. I have to say, I’m surprised you guys already talked about that. But I’m glad. You deserve to be happy Liv, and I think he’ll make you happy. And don’t worry, I’ll cover next week for you. And I’ll let the others know you’ll be taking some time, and make sure they don’t ask you any questions.” He turned and left the office, leaving the door open behind him as he went back to his desk, stopping to talk to Amanda and Kat on his way.

Putting her glasses on and picking up her pen, she smiled to herself as she went back to her paperwork. She still had a lot to work through before it was time to head out, though she was hoping the anticipation would make the time pass faster. Afterall, it wasn’t every day she got to head home to a hot meal and an even hotter man, not that she’d tell him that. His ego was already inflated enough.

[newagesispage]

                                                                        MAY                 2021

The Rib Page

*****

George Takei is sweatin’ with the oldies. He stars in a fitness app for gay seniors, Bar Belles. It was his April Fool’s day joke.

*****

Fox will bring us Crime Scene Kitchen on May 26 with host Joel McHale.

*****

Joel Hodgson has launched a new kick starter to create a new independent season of MTS3K, The goal is $2mil.

*****

Bob Odenkirk will release: Comedy, comedy, comedy, drama: A Memoir on Jan. 18 2022

*****

Leslie Jones will host the 2021 MTV Awards.

*****

$3 mil was raised for Next for Autism with help from Conan, Kimmel, Charlize, Chris Rock, Jack Black and Sarah Silverman.

*****

Have ya noticed that Gayle King looks great in yellow.

*****

Some people are not too happy that Elon Musk will host SNL on May 8. Miley Cyrus is the musical guest.** Musk tweeted: Let’s find out just how live SNL really is. Cast member Bowen Yang tweeted back, : What the Fuck does this even mean?

*****

Oh Seth Meyers: Every time I see the sea captain on your show, I miss him so much!!

*****

There is a spotlight on Foxconn which made a big splash for Trump at the start of his presidency. The company has done a lot of nothing but still gets tax cuts. Homes were demolished, roads were widened to nowhere and money was spent. Wisconsinites are upset that this big business is just folly and a big glass orb.

*****

Mike Lindell is a kook but he did try to appear to be a good sport on Kimmel.

*****

When will weed be legal on a federal level? When will drug testing for employment be illegal? We hear so much about personal rights with the gun laws and vaccines and masks. What about the right to do what we want with our bodies when we are not at work. Think of the administrative costs that could be saved if we just removed drug testing. Our experience and work ethic should mean more that what we do with our free time. This is not a problem at all companies. There are places in this country where it is near impossible anywhere in your area to get hired without a drug screening. One joint on a random Saturday night could keep someone from a great opportunity. A person in pain who reaches for an edible might miss out on the job that saves their lives.

*****

NASA sent the first flight to another planet. The Mars flight made history with the 30 sec feat.

*****

What? The Menendez brothers are popular again? From the Ramsey case to the Manson murders or Bundy, it all comes back around again.

*****

The Lizzie Borden house just sold for $2mil to Lance Zaal of U. S. Ghost Adventures.

*****

Quarantine and so much television et al proves one thing, the pharmaceutical and insurance companies have way too much $.

*****

Trump told everyone to boycott Coke and is later seen drinking diet Coke.** Trump sent out a statement about how bad the Oscars are. They threw it right back in his face. ** Federal agents have searched Giuliani’s Manhattan apartment. It stems from the 2 year investigation into activities in Ukraine.

*****

X-VP Pence is said to have pressured the Navy to reinstate former Mo. Gov. Eric Greitens. Greitens was accused of tying up, blindfolding, taking explicit photos of and blackmailing a woman.

*****

There is a crisis in schools with the lack of civics and history being taught.

*****

Hulk Hogan was hit with a chorus of Boo’s at his latest event.

*****

The latest sexual harassment news: Matt Gaetz  is being looked into for sex with a minor and sex trafficking.  Bill Barr opened the investigation.** Tom Reed has been accused of sexual misconduct by former lobbyist, Nicolette Davis.** Marilyn Manson has been sued by Game of Thrones, Esme Bianco for sexual abuse.

*****

What is going on with Bank of America? I am hearing from multiple people that often they do not get their statement in the mail. Is this a bad Postal service? Is this bad business practice? How many late fees had to be paid because of this? Not everybody wants to pay their bills online.

*****

Jack Hanna has revealed that he has dementia.

*****

Tiny Tim : King for a day is a new doc I must see. The film contains footage shot from Warhol’s Factory. There are excerpts from Tim’s diary read by Weird Al Yankovic and the story of how Tiny’s friend, Bob Dylan wanted to make a film with him.

*****

Lindsay Lohan’s Father, Michael has been charged with 5 counts patient brokering and 1 count of attempted patient brokering. This is an apparent scam of steering addicts into rehab for cash.

*****

Aaron Sorkin and Paulina Porizkova are dating. Pete Davidson and Phoebe Dynevor are dating.

*****

JB Smoove has a new podcast brought to you by TeamCoco.

*****

Hey.. People working on the new Law and Order: Organized Crime….. TOO MUCH MELONI!!

*****

*****

Zach Avery, actor, was arrested for his participation in a $690 mil Ponzi scheme.

*****

President Biden has restored aid to the Palestinians.

*****

MLB put up a wall in Georgia but the Masters stayed.

*****

Hank Azaria has brought Brockmire to a new podcast.

*****

Tommy Chong isn’t allowed on FB because of his weed posts but they allow an imposter to use his name to sell weed.

Pennsylvania is trying to push thru 14 voter suppression bills.

*****

Joe Manchin. Ugh!!** Marjorie Taylor- Greene has let go of her America First caucus.** Ted Cruz has allegedly used $154, 000 of his campaign funds to buy up copies of his book to boost sales. This is an old trick but still illegal.

*****

For the first time, The Carter Center became involved in a U.S. election. They published videos and live webcasts as well as deploying observers across Georgia.

*****

Most health programs in Uganda, Nigeria and Ethiopia have resumed after Covid.** Tom Vilsack from the Dept. of Agriculture has announced the USDA will provide assistance to 30 million kids.** It is sad to me that we have to entice people to vaccinate. Football games, Church’s and shot for shot in bars?? Really? Saving the lives of others should be enough. WTF?

*****

Alec Baldwin, Alec Mapa and Kelsey Grammer are shopping around a new comedy that ABC decided to pass on.

*****

Chauvin was found guilty.

*****

Days alert: C’mon Ben, calm the fuck down! Don’t prove how out of control you are like everybody thinks. ** Xander is so funny right now.** How many people will Kristen be and how many times can one person melt down?? **Bring Carrie back!! **Jackee’ seemed a bit nervous in the beginning but she is fitting right in. More!

*****

The SAG awards came and went. With the Trial of the Chicago 7 winning best ensemble, Michael Keaton is the first person to be in 3 best casts for SAG’s.** Other winners include Viola Davis, Chadwick Boseman, Daniel Kaluuta, Youn Yuh-Jung, Mark Ruffalo, Anya Taylor- Joy, Jason Bateman, Catherine O’Hara, Schitt’s Creek and The Crown.

*****

The Oscars were held on April 25. It was a bit of a yawner and why would a show set themselves up for an awkward end?? There was a commercial from P&G right before the broadcast that stated, “ Widen the screen so we can widen our view.” Nice sentiment.  Mank had so many noms and only 2 wins. People looking their best to me were Leslie Odom Jr., Glenn Close, Riz Ahmed, LaKeith Stanfield, Colman Domingo, John Batiste, Mia Neal, Questlove (gold crocs and a mask!), Desmond Roe, Travon Free, Trish Summerville, Marlee Matlin, The Lucas Brothers, Andra Day, Carey Mulligan, Amanda Seyfried, Nicolette Robinson, Regina King and Margot Robbie. Laura Dern looked like Big Bird, there were just too many feathers. Tiara Thomas had feathers but they looked great.  Angela Bassett had some power sleeves and Tyer Perry looked like a little boy.  Hooray for Emerald Fennell for her win for original screenplay but not sure about the dress. And Viola Davis?? Dana Murray?? Ashley Fox?? Hmm?? Winners seemed to have trouble getting to the stage. They often refused the steps or the walkway and sort of climbed up the side. I did love the intimate setting and it did remind me of the old clips of years before. Sound of metal and Ma Rainey both won. Tyler Perry and for the first time, an organization, the motion picture and television fund, took home the humanitarian award. I was thrilled to see My Octopus Teacher win for Doc. I loved Crip Camp too, that was a hard category.  The acting winners went in all directions.  Many critics complained that the films were real downers . Nomadland won best picture. Michael Moore put it best I think. Of the films this year, he said, “They force you to look backward with 2021 eyes.”

*****

Why the Fuck do we need a militarized police force?

*****

R.I.P. victims of the multiple mass shootings, victims of police shootings, the crush in Israel, Cosette Brown, Midwin Charles, DMX, Paul Ritter, Ethel Gabriel, G. Gordon Liddy, Buddy Peppenschmidt,  Prince Philip, Anne Beatts, Diane Adler, Vartan Gregorian, Monte Hellman, Jim Steinman, Michael Collins, Michael wolf Snyder, Johnny Crawford, Eli Broad and Walter Mondale.

[something-tofightfor]

Completely genuine question: are there any love interests for Barnes's characters that you actually like? I have yet to find anyone who I enjoy seeing him with, although Caspian/Susan were kind of sweet. But that could just be me. 😆

This is a good question! Let’s play. 

Dunstan: I honestly can’t blame the woman... instead of trying to actually get help, she drags him into her tent? Cart? whatever? and has her way with him. You gotta get it where you can, and as far as one night stands go, this worked for me. (But having a kid... yikes)

Caspian: I think that all of the Pevensie children are terrible (with the exception of Edmund) ... and I think Susan is INSUFFERABLE. I don’t mind Anna Popplewell, but I don’t think that Susan was a good fit for him, and I think the kiss was unnecessary. Liliandil makes more sense; she’s “Narnian” in the sense that she’s not from another realm/world/reality. 

Dorian: Sibyl... meh. They were never on the same page. Emily ... I think he actually cared for her (as much as he could) but I don’t like Rebecca Hall as an actress much. 

Young Man: I think that with Celia, Ben was really, really good. I felt the pain that both of them felt, and this was really hard to watch because it felt real. I liked this relationship a lot, even though there wasn’t a ton to it in the way there would have/could have been if this timeline was the main focus of the movie. 

Ryan Brenner: Jackie Laurel could have gotten fully run over and flattened by that truck and then replaced in rest of the movie with a sock on a stick and it would have made more sense to me than Ryan with her. I HATE Katherine Heigl, but I honestly think that with the way that role was written, I would have hated Jackie no matter who played her... but KH just made it so much worse. 

Tom Ward: Alright, so Alicia Vikander rubs me the wrong way. She was a NIGHTMARE on the set of Tomb Raider, and she just seems very young and very immature to me. I liked the idea of Tom and a witch together, because they were so different and wanted very different things... but Alice was never really defined enough as a character for me to give her a chance past that. 

John Whittaker: Alright, so this may surprise you... but I actually liked him with Jessica Biel. They seemed to play very well off of each other, and their relationship was genuine. I think a lot of it comes with watching this movie so many times and knowing that JB played it exactly as she needed to - he was never going to be IT for her, but she thought he could be enough. John/Sarah I was not a fan of, because the way she looked at him was just a mix of disappointment and envy all at the same time, and I didn’t appreciate that at all, even though Charlotte Riley was a very pretty woman. 

Josh: This movie was a fucking disaster, first of all. While I didn’t like him with either woman much in terms of characters, I think the edge has to go to Eliza Dusku. Sarah Roemer couldn’t act her way out of a wet paper bag, and even though the dialogue is super cringey between Josh and Renee and the sex scenes are worse... they physically LOOK nice together. 

Neil: The most lovable walking disaster EVER, I actually really liked him with Krysten Ritter. I think they complimented each other, and it was a fun story to tell. It’s hard to step away from him as this character, I think, but Gloria tried her damndest. 

Alejandro: I.... don’t like Amanda Seyfried much, because I feel like she plays the same character in every single thing she’s in... and TBW is no different. This movie was a mess, too, and I realize that everyone was just working with what they had, but there was no chemistry there. 

Nick Tortano: Alright, so the “quiet game” scene is one of my ALL TIME FAVORITE BEN BARNES SCENES in any movie or show he’s ever been in. I think Allie was a good match for him, because she made him realize in a very short amount of time that there could be more to life than The Family. I liked their interactions, and the way that they could play off of each other and make it believable. 

Stoya: .... Ben Barnes and Mary Elizabeth Winstead were SO GOOD together. It was barely 10 minutes of screen time, and... it was GREAT. I really like her (what up Jessica Bennett from Harmony) and I really like him, and I think that they have just the right type of connection and I would have loved to see more of the two of them because I need to know WHERE IS STOYA!?!!?

Logan: .... Ben Barnes standing next to Talulah Riley was SOMETHING ELSE. They’re both gorgeous, and while she wasn’t an actual LOVE interest... they made a good pair. I’d also cut off my left arm (I’m left handed) to see him kiss Clementine, because Angela Sarafyan is a GODDESS. 

Billy: Out of Dinah and Krusty, obviously I think he had more chemistry with Dinah, but I still didn’t like it because of what they tried to make it be. If it’s just two consenting adults using each other for sex and information, it’s one thing, but they tried to make it seem as if Billy was the only deceptive one. Based on LOOKS, I think ARR is pretty, but I don’t think she looks good WITH BB. Dumont... I don’t like FL at all, so I wasn’t even a fan of the CASTING, let alone what they did with her and Ben’s characters. 

Benjamin: If you were in the room with me just now as I typed that, you would have heard and seen me let out the biggest sigh in the entire world. Ben Barnes and a geriatric psychopath (I don’t mind Julia Ormond, but they had her looking ROUGH in Gold Digger) is not appealing in the slightest to me. I get that they were trying to make it seem ***real*** like love could conquer all and  that it would be realistic that someone that looked like HIM would settle for someone that looked like HER ... but I never felt it. She was not a likable character, and there were a lot of times he wasn’t, either... but I felt ZERO sympathy for Julia Day in ANY episode of that show, while Benjamin’s story (and the way Ben played it) was the one where all of the feeling was kept. Benjamin had more chemistry with Julia’s friend Marsha in five minutes... and that’s sad. 

This probably wasn’t at all what you were looking for, but, here you go.  Bonus: Here are five actresses that I think Ben would be GREAT acting opposite of/having an onscreen romance with 

- Charlize Theron

- Lizzy Caplan

- Yvonne Strahovski

- Phoebe Tonkin

- Odette Yustman

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, December 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood’s family changed by COVID 

Page 2: The Apartment -- secrets behind the Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine flick 

Page 4: Nicole Kidman -- her style in her movies 

Page 6: A Dirty Dancing sequel is in the works and Jennifer Grey is set to reprise her role as Baby but Patrick Swayze who died in 2009 won’t be replaced -- for now Jennifer is keeping the plot and premiere date of the sequel under wraps 

Page 7: Richard Thomas who played John-boy on The Waltons is 69 now and still working steadily as an actor and he’s more than grateful he survived the ride -- these days he and his wife Georgiana make their home in New York City 

Page 8: Baby it’s dry inside -- breathe easier and save money by adding moisture in simple ways 

Page 9: Tony’s Mystic World -- the days of our lives 

Page 10: Brenda Van Sickle was 16 when she gave up her newborn baby for adoption and she thought about him every day since then, hoping he had a good life and 45 years later they have found each other 

Page 11: Your Health -- health problems your doctor may miss -- be persistent and get these dangerous symptoms checked out 

* Seniors are more physically vulnerable to COVID-19 but they have an advantage over younger people -- they are better at handling the psychological trauma of the pandemic 

Page 12: Dating was the name of the game for future stars -- winners and losers on The Dating Game before they got famous -- Vicki Lawrence, Michael Jackson, Steve Martin, Farrah Fawcett, Arnold Schwarzenegger 

Page 13: Suzanne Somers, Sally Field, John Ritter, Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds 

Page 14: Dear Tony, America’s Top Psychic Healer -- good news! True love arrives in Spring 2021 -- Tony predicts Wesley Snipes will be back on the big screen in the near future and he will work behind the scenes for prison reform -- Tony also predicts a very cold winter coming for us 

Page 15: Smash hit Home Improvement also didn’t happen -- Patricia Richardson who played Tim Allen’s wife Jill Taylor says when she was cast in the series she had just had twins and wasn’t sure if it was the right time for her to take on a role and she’d never heard of Tim Allen but producers called her in and quickly saw the chemistry between Tim and Patricia and from 1991 until 1999 they made sitcom magic 

Page 16: In an emotional final farewell I Love Lucy stars Lucille Ball and Vivian Vance shared tears and laughter as they looked back on a lifetime of love and friendship -- the two got together shortly before Vivian passed at age 70 on August 17, 1979 

Page 18: A moving company College HUNKS Hauling is giving free help to victims of domestic violence so they can get away from abusive situations and set up a household elsewhere 

Page 19: When the Stitt family set out to raise money for a new wheelchair for their 17-year-old son Jake who has cerebral palsy they never suspected a superstar would come to the rescue -- but that’s just what happened when Justin Timberlake heard about the family’s financial plight and stepped in to pay for a custom-built van and wheelchair 

Page 20: Cover Story -- Country stars Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood are heroically carrying on during the worldwide pandemic singing their hearts out on a TV special for their millions of overjoyed fans but behind the scenes the couple and their family were bravely dealing with gut-wrenching terror as 24-year-old daughter Allie Colleen tested positive for the deadly COVID-19 virus and Allie’s brush with the disease turned their world upside down 

Page 22: Utah has opened its first overpass designed exclusively for wildlife and it’s working -- officials placed a video camera at the spot and were overjoyed to see deer, bears, moose, elk and all sorts of critters using the crossing which was designated animals only after so many of our four-legged friends were killed on that highway in the last couple of years -- lobbied for by a group called Save People Save Animals the overpass cost $5 million and was built by Utah’s Department of Transportation 

Page 24: A boater who clung to his overturned vessel for days in the waters off Florida’s Atlantic coastline is miraculously alive and well after a container ship spotted him and hauled him in 

Page 25: An Alabama mother of four got the shock of her life when a stranger in a footwear store paid for a pair of boots she’d had her eye on for years but couldn’t afford 

* A New Hampshire mom of three made an impulse buy that stunned and delighted her neighbors when she paid for the groceries of the next eight people in the supermarket checkout line 

Page 26: Heaven must have sent us these Angels -- checking in with Charlie’s famous femme crime fighters -- Kate Jackson, Farrah Fawcett 

Page 27: Jaclyn Smith, Cheryl Ladd 

Page 28: Shelley Hack, Tanya Roberts 

Page 29: The Reboot -- Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Cameron Diaz 

Page 30: The Good Doctor 

Page 31: Drug-free headache relief 

Page 32: Look Who They Dug Up -- why these famous names couldn’t rest in peace -- Christopher Columbus, John F. Kennedy, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln, Judy Garland 

Page 33: Daniel Boone, Jesse James, Sammie Davis Jr., Eva Peron 

Page 40: Stars Who Married Gay Men and Didn’t Know -- husbands hid the truth to save their careers -- Berry Berenson, Judy Garland, Amanda Blake, Fran Drescher, Betsy Drake 

Page 41: Angela Lansbury, Liza Minnelli, Carol Channing, Charlotte Rae, Vanessa Redgrave, Carrie Fisher 

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Dolly Parton performs tunes from her album A Holly Dolly Christmas (picture), Diane Keaton on The Ellen DeGeneres Show (picture), Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are gearing up to tie the knot at his Oklahoma ranch, a handgun used by Sean Connery in his first screen appearance as James Bond has blown away expectations by selling for $256,000 at auction, Bryan Cranston says he was socked by COVID-19 in March and still hasn’t recovered his sense of smell, Ryan Reynolds seems to want no part of a recent honor suggested by fans to name a street after him in his home city of Vancouver, social media lit up after legendary singer Dionne Warwick teased Chance the Rapper by tweeting at him 

Page 45: Joan Collins at the ribbon-cutting for the Burlington Arcade department store in London (picture), saying goodbye to Squiggy -- actor David Lander died from multiple sclerosis complications at age 73 

Page 46: A Kentucky schoolteacher who went in an hour early each day to help an immigrant child learn English just got her reward 40 years later -- that kid went on to become a lawyer and Harvard grad who has tracked her down to thank her in person 

Page 47: The names are crazy but the places are real 

[babygirlofwakanda]

Never Ending Cycle

CHARACTERS — Black! Reader X T’Challa

CONTENT — Heavy Angst, Violence, Religion Mentioned, and Prepare To Grab Onto Your Tissues

PLOT — It’s in the title, but you will understand once you finish reading the story and I love backstory and details, so please be patient with me.

NARRATIVE — “Usana, I don’t think I can handle another twenty-four hours without your presence.” The African King whined, through the kimoyo beads.

Feeling an unconventional tug at her lips Savannah Udaku smiled at the dark brown man holographic figure from her beads. “It’s just one more day.” She reconciled, in an understanding tone of voice. Seeing her fiancé figure slouch and his bottom lip poke out only furthered Savannah’s damage control.

“—if it troubles you that much I will call you right after I get back to the hotel then you can tell me about your day, huh? How about that, usana?”

His persistence not letting up until she budged her position she compromised. After spending nearly everyday with the King of Wakanda for the last five years Savannah knew him like the back of her hand and after being married for the last five months her intuition only heighten.

Not hearing a response she sat back up only to see T’Challa wearing a kool-aid grin as he was pleased with her response. “As soon as you get back?” He doubled checked, making sure he heard his wife correctly. “As soon as I get back.” She repeated.

Peeping his tense shoulders relax and the frown lines on his forehead disappear Savannah knew he was more than satisfied with her reply. “Alright, the faster you get home to me the faster we can start practicing for those babies you wanted.“ T’Challa purred, causing an unnecessary shift in her seat.

Clenching her thighs together a cheeky smile appeared on her face causing a rambunctious laugh to escape from T’Challa’s larynx. Feeling the wetness seeping from her vagina and dripping on her panties she tried to ignore the fullness of her uterus and her pulsing clit that replaced the beating of her heart.

Squinting her eyes at him Savannah spoke up, “You did that on purpose! Enjoy having blue balls for the next couple days when I get home.” before rolling her eyes at him only making him hunch over and clutch his stomach with overwhelming laughter.

“Yea, laugh it up curious George lookin’ ass nigga.” Savannah spat, instantly making his laughter halt with the quickness. “That’s not even funny.” The King said, with a straight face causing Savannah to become the one with the giggles.

Hearing a knock at the hotel door Savannah turned her head and told the person to come in. “—Queen Savannah, it is almost time for our departure.”

Nodding her head at the new Dora Milaje, Nobomi she watched the guard shut the door. Turning back around Savannah was faced with a pout that she was all too familiar with, “Mnandi, don’t be like that.” She cooed, as she saw the pink flesh inside of T’Challa’s bottom lip peeking out.

“I don’t want to hang up.” He mumbled, before flicking his eyes everywhere but hers. Sighing at her pouty baby Savannah tried to appease his pleading, “I told you I was going to call you as soon as I was on my way back to the hotel tonight. Now I’m sure you have a meeting to attend so I will let you go.” She affirmed, making her stern voice present.

Exhaling T’Challa’s eyes slowly landed back on her hers, “Fine, I’ll let you go. Just know that you have my heart wherever you go, I love you.” He affirmed.

Feeling her cheeks starting to rise and cramp up from the smile growing on her face she responded, “—I love you too to the moon and back, usana.”

Hearing his wife reply back to his confession of love an unfamiliar emotion resonated in his spirit that did not settle with him quite well. Not wanting to bring it up after seeing her chocolate brown eyes staring at him T’Challa simply winked before ending the call.

Being a protective husband T’Challa would worry about the safety of his wife whenever she would leave the country and travel to the United States.

Aware of the intense political climate of the country T’Challa would be lying if he said he wasn’t on edge.

After knowing her views on the way minorities were treated the African King would often get melancholy when Savannah wasn’t within arms reach.

Peeping the uncertainty in her husband’s face Savannah shrugged and stood up to flatten her palms over the strapless multicolored dress before she sauntered over to the opposite side of the room to scan her figure in the mirror. Casually turning left and right to look at the prominent curves of her ass and hips Savannah shifted closer inspecting her chestnut complexion, brown sugar body lava and bronzed makeup and the volume of the kinky curly weave clip-ins. “—damn, you looking good mama.” She complimented herself, before pivoting around and grabbing her purse to head out the door.

Walking out of the hotel and into the black escalade she slides inside the car beside sister in law, Shuri and the protection of Ayo and Nobomi. Feeling the car began to move she strapped herself in as the car started turning down the street.

Seeing the large purple signs and crowds of tender and seasoned black women a grin formed on her lips she saw women from different walks of life, shades of melanin and hairstyles associating with one another with love and respect.

Savannah was located at the epitome of black girl magic and black excellence; Essence Festival.

There as a culture and political speaker on a panel hosted by Angela Rye and a candidate for multiple other panels Savannah enjoyed mingling with her fellow sisters in melanin and magic.

After fulfilling her obligations she had enough time to watch a panel about prison reform featuring Meek Mill, watch the technology panel with Shuri and still watch Queen Latifah and more perform at the Superdome at night.

Today being the last day of the festival Savannah was headed to her last booked event which was a hair panel along with influencers to talk about the hair care line that was sponsored by Shea Moisture.

Walking through the doors of the venue the second she stepped out on the lavender colored carpet she was instantly spotted as the passing crowd of black women noticed her. Rushing up with their phones at hand she watched as the two Dora Milaje posted up protecting her personal space. Gesturing them with her hand Savannah told them to stand down before she watched them put their vibranium spears down allowing the group of women to rush up to her.

“Queen Savannah!” A caramel-skinned woman with finger waves exclaimed, as she approached her with her iPhone clutched around in her green and pink acrylics. “—can you please say something to my snapchat?” She pleaded, with the batting of her false eyelashes.

“Of course.” She responded, before the woman lifted up her phone. Looking at the phone Savannah seen the flower crown filter on her head. Taking a couple of videos with her the Queen Of Wakanda began to take pictures with the rest of the group of women before making her way to the hair care booth.

Checking in with the production manager and the sponsors of the event Savannah received a headset and bottle of water before the manager scurried off.

Pacing inside wings Savannah peeked her around the curtains to glance a the growing crowd. Smiling to herself she saw Issa Rae walk on the stage after the master of ceremony introduce her to the crowd before the women began to cheer. Watching each entertainer come out on stage such as Amanda Seales, Regina Hall, Naturi Naughton she rocked on her heels before she heard her name.

“—okay ladies, the next special guest I’m about to bring out is a Queen who we all know and love. She is a woman who keeps her status growing, but she isn’t afraid to snatch off her diamond earrings and throw down or clapback in the comments under the theshaderoom to remind people that she still has it. Please help me welcome Savannah Udaku!” Issa Rae announced, before the crowd cheered loudly.

Walking out beaming from the overwhelming support Savannah waved at the crowd showing off her nude colored nails before she engulfed Issa into a warm hug. Doing the same with the rest of the panel she eventually took her seat on the beige chair.

“Give it up one more time for all of these beautiful women up here! Yas, clap it up.” Issa encouraged, before taking a seat at the edge of the panel.

“Ladies, in order to kick this segment off I want to play a little game with you guys. Is that alright? This game is called would you rock it?” Nodding her head Savannah listened to the instructions. “—a picture will pop up on the screen and you speak into the mic and tell the crowd would you rock it, easy enough?”

The game was going good when they showed a few colorful hairstyles that were slightly out of the box such as a cotton candy lace wig and a unique braids.

However, the game quickly turned left when they had to the nerve to show some ridiculous pictures of a sprint inspired finger waves and braided bangs.

After the game concluded there were many segments to follow from discussing their favorite Shea Moisturize products, protective hairstyles and answering questions from the audience. Once the panel was over Savannah spent the next few hours roaming around the venue. From sitting in on a food panel, an entrepreneurship class, to meeting up in the shopping district with Shuri for some retail therapy.

Currently walking around sipping on her strawberry lemonade vodka while Shuri was quietly sipping on her bottled water Savannah flipped through some clothes floral dresses before adding some items to her growing pile ontop of her arm. Humming to the melody of Ella Mai’s Boo’d Up she picked out some frames before approaching the checkout counter.

Meeting Shuri at the counter Savannah paid for the items before they walked out. As they walked down the venue Savannah checked the time on her phone before she realized the Janet Jackson concert was about start. “—oh shit, Shuri we have to get to the Superdome if you wanted to go to the concert.” Savannah spoke, before shrugging.

“Oh yes, sister! I need to see why mother keeps those taps hidden away from me.” Shuri exclaimed, before hastily handing her bags to the guards.

Tugging at the Queen’s hand almost spilling the colorful drink on her dress the young teenager jogged down the hall making Savannah lose grip of her bags. The four Dora Milaje’s quickly picking the bags up until they briskly sprinted after the two runaway royals. Reaching the concert in minutes the Queen and the Princess navigated their reserved section before they began to party and singalong.

An hour into the show Shuri quickly realized why Romanda kept Janet’s self-titled album away from her once she heard the lyrics and saw the slow sultry dance choreography to Anytime, Anyplace. Leaning over whispering to the Queen, “—I see why mother kept it that album away from me, why would anyone want to engage intercourse infront of strangers?”

Half an hour later the concert was coming to an end as Janet began to thank the Essence Festival sponsors with an instrumental of No Sleep playing in the background. Attempting to avoid the traffic Ayo and the rest of the Dora Miaje escorted Shuri and Savannah out of the backdoor and into the car.

Feeling the car backing out of the parking lot and hitting the street Savannah and Shuri were occupied on Savannah’s phone as they were on instagram live singing and rapping along to Cardi B’s I Like It.

Pulling into the hotel underneath the empty area where valet parking would be requested the vehicle stopped in time for Drake’s In My Feelings to play on the radio. “—uh oh, this is my shit! Shuri record me.” The Queen said, as she hopped out of the car.

The Dora Milaje shaking their heads at their Queen’s foul language they watched from inside the car once she began dancing as she did the Shiggy Challenge.

“Ay, Kiki do you love me?” She sung, out of breath as she squatted down dancing as she swung her knees.

Back at her original height, Savannah began to dancing until the next hook came. Curving her hands to make a heart while she swayed her body a deafening sound erupted disturbing the light-hearted energy.

The loud screeching of rubber burning against the cement could be heard immediately after the firing of the shot, “—Savannah!” The Dora Milaje and Shuri exclaimed, as they watched with horror in their eyes.

Abruptly dropping her mandible Savannah felt an excruciating pain in her abdominal before dropping her head to inspect the burning. Examining the pain she saw the shredded material of her dress flooded with crimson red blood spattered and seeping into the expensive material staining her dress.

Her breath gradually picking up Savannah felt the burning at the cornea of her eyes as she lifted up her shakily left hand placing into the gushing hole. The rock on her finger stained with blood she tried to press on wound attempting to stop the blood.

Feeling a wave of unsteadiness wash over her figure Savannah began to sway left and right before hitting the pavement. Shuri running to her side she lifted up Savannah’s head onto her lap as tears began to drop from her cloudy eyes. “Nobomi, call the ambulance!” She commanded, as she cradled Savannah’s head.

Gasping for oxygen in her lungs Savannah blinked up at Shuri as she tried to communicate, but couldn’t due to her immense amount of pain. Sensing her agony Shuri pulled a bead off of her kimoyo beads and removed Savannah’s hands before putting the bead on her wound.

Liquid escaping from her tear ducts Savannah tried to get above the pain, but it was strong. The burning sensation in her abdominal was extreme as she continued inhaling and exhaling from lack of oxygen.

Seconds later the rapid ringing of the sirens blared as it approached the hotel. Pulling in the parking lot the paramedics dressed in black uniforms jumped out of the large vehicle and rushed towards the fallen Queen. “—ma’am can you hear us?” A paramedic asked, as they kneeled down.

“We can’t remove the bullet we have to get her to the hospital now.” Another paramedic stated, once they examined the bullet wound. Taking her eyes off of Savannah’s face to look at the medic she spoke, “I put my kimoyo bead to stabilize her pain, but I think it’s defaulting.” The teenager frowned, as she saw a large amount of blood leaking on the ground.

Only blinking in return Savannah felt the paramedics put her body on the stretcher and roll her towards the truck. Seeing the white ceiling of the vehicle she felt an oxygen mask being placed over her nose and mouth before feeling the sticking of needles in her wrist as they collected her vitals. “—please, let us see her!” Savannah heard Shuri wailing outside.

Quickly hearing the footsteps inside of the truck Savannah saw Shuri’s face appear in her vision as she looked up at her bloodshot eyes. A deep feeling of sorrow washed over Savannah’s features as she wanted to take away the young teenager and her pain. Beginning to drop her eyelids Shuri quickly called out to her best friend, “Savannah! Don’t close your eyes, you got to keep them open.”

Traveling in and out of consciousness Savannah vision became blurred as her breath was irregular even with the assistance of the breathing machine.

Her memories flashed of a four-year-old with pigtails with hair bows slapping against her neck giggling as she ran in the yard while she was being chased by her father. Another memory flashed of a rebellious teenager with a pixie cut cheesing in her graduation gown then another one of Savannah’s graduation from Jackson State University.

The metal photo album stored in her hippocampus continued as she recalled the memories of meeting T’Challa when she interviewed him for Fox News.

Savannah’s memory continued to travel down memory lane as she saw herself kissing T’Challa after she accepted his marriage proposal to walking on the lawn in the Royal Garden with the white dress trailing closely behind. Eventually, she saw herself scratching the surface of his cocoa colored skin as he gradually thrust his manhood into her for the first time during their honeymoon in Honduras.

Lastly, she watched herself kissing T’Challa goodbye before she boarded the aircraft to Louisiana.

The bright lights and the constant beeping sound of the machines broke up her subliminal haze. Her eyes beginning to flutter she caught the attention of Shuri who was inspecting her vitals. “—sister, are you okay?” She questioned, as she touched the side of her face.

In a fleeting stage of paralysis Savannah's hand dropped down to clutch her bleeding wound she felt her bowel movement become present. Immediately feeling light as a feather while her eyes began to involuntarily roll she managed to let one-word escape from her diaphragm, “T’Challa.”

A single tear slipped from her eye before Savannah closed her eyes embracing the powerful white light that was waiting for her spirit to come to heaven.

The constant sound of the flatline echoed through the truck before Shuri’s emotions overpowered her small frame. “—no, no Savannah! Please wake up, doctor can’t you do anything?” She bawled, before she shrieked out in complete torment.

Nothing else was said in the hospital truck as Ayo looked at Shuri in sorrow as she was hunched over Savannah’s lifeless body while she began pleading to Bast for her second chance at life.

The sight breaking her heart, but she knew what she was about to do would crack it even further. Holding her wrist out she pressed her kimoyo beads.

A few seconds passed before she saw his face appear in holographic form, “Ah, hello Ayo. How is everything going? Did you call to tell me the Queen has had to much drink and cannot reach me?” The King asked, with a knowingly smile at his drunk wife.

Staying quiet on her line T’Challa quickly figured out that something was strangely wrong, “Ayo, what is wrong? I recognize that look.” He spoke, with clear authority. Only shaking her head with tears falling down on her earth-toned complexion the King became aware of the sniffling in the background.

“Ayo, I won’t ask again.” He demanded, as his nostrils flared with anger. “It’s the Queen.” The Dora Milaje choked out, before sniffling. Quick furrowing his bushy eyebrows he asked what was the matter.

“Queen Savannah has died from a gunshot wound to her intestines which punctured her stomach and made the bottom of her false ribs collapse.”

The look on T’Challa’s face was indescribable as he felt the weight of the whole world fall on his broad shoulders as he a strong sensation of sorrow broke through; for the first time he was weak.

Abruptly ending the call the African King ripped his beads apart and begun to trashing the bedroom he shared with Savannah. With tears streaming down his face T’Challa ripped the headboard off of the frame and threw it against the wall.

“Fuck!” He shouted, before he dropped down to his knees and began weeping. With his hands resting on his head he began to hit the sides of his head before mumbling out insults, “How could you be so stupid?” He asked himself, before curling up into a fetal position and continued to grieve in silence.

“—Live with breaking news I'm saddened to report the lost of Wakanda’s Queen Savannah Udaku. An active unidentified gunman shot the beloved Queen while she arrived at her hotel in Louisiana. After suffering gun wounds to her intestines, a punctured stomach, and a collapsed false rib she was pronounced dead on the way to the hospital. The beloved Queen was known for her career as a political analyst where she fought for the importance of diversity and inclusion in the government, entertainment and mass media. Savannah Udaku was only thirty-two years old.”

TRANSLATIONS — “Mnandi.” means sweetheart “Usana.” means baby

AUTHOR’S NOTE — Even though this was out of my comfort zone I felt compelled to write this after I saw someone on my dash post about Marielle Franco.

TAGLIST — @nyneebey @leahnicole1219 @minyara-kun @lalapalooza718 @mysticbrownie @profilia @siriuslycollins @therevolution-willbelive @hutchj @texasbama @kumkaniudaku @wakandan-flowerz @theultimateblacknerdwithglasses @brianabreeze @dramaqueenamby @princesskillmonger @s0eul @ororowrites @randomwordprompts @caleyamil @destinio1 @blue-ishx @504queen @stressedgyal @savageiz @idilly @soldierandawar @madamslayyy @royallyprincesslilly @autumn242 @ambthegamer @ursapharoh05 @cmonkillmonger @drsunshine97 @halfrican-heat @royallyprincesslilly @ashanti-notthesinger @barely-emily @airis-paris14 @theshadesofbrown @sisterwifeudaku @jecourt @lildashofmelanin @taehyungsmelanin @inlovewith3 @almostpurelysmut @everybodylovesmormon @soulmates8 @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat

[crookedmediatranscripts]

Pod Save the World

2017.09.27

The rise of the European far-right

“Tommy talks with Europe expert Dr. Karen Donfried about the German elections and the rise of the far-right AfD party. They also discuss why Russia hacking efforts didn’t work in Germany, what European capitals will do if Trump pulls out of the Iran deal, and how they view his war of words with North Korea.” (38:39)

[MUSIC]

Tommy Vietor: Pod Save the World is brought to you by Stitch Fix.

Jon Favreau: I know all about this.

Jon Lovett: Stitch Fix.

TV: You guys, if you’re like a lot of guys, which I know you are-

JL: You’re like a lot of guys.

JF: Lovett is just like-

JL: I’m like 5% I guess.

TV: I bet there’s a million things you’d rather be doing than shopping for clothes. There’s parking, there’s crowds, there’s everyone at the Grove being cooler than you. There’s endless browsing-

JL: That’s not how the Grove works.

JF: Are people at the Grove cooler than you? JL: That’s not how the Grove works.

TV: I mean, low bar.

JF: Welcome to L.A.

JL: People taking pictures in front of a fountain at the mall. Come on, what are they doing. Who rides the trolley? What are you doing on that fucking trolley? You’re adults!

TV: If you try to shop for clothes online, there’s too many choices-

JL: Too many choices!

TV: You could browse forever-

JF: There’s no advice! There’s no advice.

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0:01:39

[MUSIC]

0:01:41

TV: My guest today on Pod Save the World is Europe expert Karen Donfried. The German election was this past week and while a lot of the world was breathing a sigh of relief that Angela Merkel was reelected for a fourth term, it was tempered by the rise of a far-right, anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant party. So we talked about the results, what it means for Merkel’s ability to govern, what it means for Germany’s relations with NATO and the U.S. We also talked about the rise of right-wing parties across Europe, and what Europe would do if President Trump pulls out of the Iran deal. And what they make of Trump’s war of words with North Korea. And last, where Turkey is at the moment on the frenemy scale. If you like the show, please rate us in iTunes and tell your friends. Check out the Pod Save the World Facebook for bonus material and follow me on Twitter at @tvietor08. And now, here’s the interview with Karen.

TV: I am very excited to welcome back to Pod Save the World, Dr. Karen Donfried. She is the President of the German Marshal Fund of the United States. Before assuming this role in April of 2014, Karen was the special assistant to the President and Senior Director for European affairs at the National Security Council at the White House. She’s also served on the National Intelligence Council and on the U.S. Department of States policy planning staff. Karen, thank you so much for doing the show.

Karen Donfried: Tommy, it’s a pleasure to be back.

TV: Alright, so last time you were on, we were talking about elections in France. Today it’s Germany. Germany just had their elections. The good news is that Angela Merkel was reelected. The bad news is that for the first time since the defeat of the Nazis in 1945, a far-right party will have delegates in the German parliament. The Nationalist Alternative for Germany Party, or AfD, is now the third largest party in the Bundestag with 94 seats. They secured 13% of the vote, up from 7.9% last time. Karen, can you tell us, what is the AfD? How worried should we be about their growing influence in Germany, of all places?

KD: So Tommy, I think most of us in the U.S. focus on the headline “Angela Merkel was reelected” and think, that’s all I need to know. We know her, she’s stable in the sea of tumult around the world. But what you’re pointing to is that beneath that headline, there is a dramatically shifting political landscape in Germany. The most striking part of it is the one you focused on, which is the AfD, this far-right populist party that not only made it into the German parliament. So after World War II, Germany put in place a 5% threshold to try to prevent small parties from being represented and splintering the political system. And actually, four years ago was the first time the AfD tried to get into Parliament and they missed that 5% threshold. So what we saw on Sunday was that, the AfD not only got into the Parliament but as you pointed out, they’re the third strongest political party in the German Parliament. And has the Social Democrats who have been in coalition with Angela Merkel not announced that they are not willing to continue the Grand Coalition with her, then the AfD would’ve been the leading opposition party. So it is quite dramatic to see this party that did not exist prior to 2013 suddenly be the third largest political force.

TV: What do you think it means for Merkel and her ability to govern?

KD: So, on that, I still would give Angela Merkel very high marks for her political skills. The challenge for her in the first instance, is gonna be forming a new governing coalition. There is no possibility that the AfD will be part of the governing coalition. So she’s trying to keep her sister party, the more conservative CSU, with her in negotiating with the Free Democrats, that’s the business-friendly party, and the Greens, the environmental party. She’s trying to form a coalition with those parties. So the AfD will do it’s best to make Angela Merkel’s life miserable. It started right after the election when the leaders of the AfD said, one of the things we’re gonna do when we get into parliament ins start a Parliamentary investigative committee to investigate what Angela Merkel did on the refugee crisis. They will be noisy, they will be obstreperous. But she will, I think, try to push them aside in terms of her ability to govern Germany.

TV: You mentioned the refugee crisis. There was a report in the New York Times today, a reporter named Amanda Taub wrote a piece where she talked about interviewing a whole bunch of AfD supporters and asking why they support the party. And she said almost everyone she spoke with said they supported AfD because Germany is under threat from Muslim immigrants and outsiders and only the AfD is willing to protect it. Do you think this sentiment is a direct reaction to Merkel’s early decision to welcome Syrian refugees? Or is this a broader, nationalist sentiment that we’re seeing in a lot of places?

KD: Well, in the U.S. we often think that the key in our elections is, it’s the economy, stupid. Well for the German election in 2017 I think you could say, it’s refugees, stupid. There’s no question in my mind that refugees were the most salient issue in this election. And it goes back to the decision that Chancellor Merkel made in the fall of 2015 when she decided to open Germany’s borders to the increasing build-up of refugees to its east. That was deeply controversial. She, to this day, continues to say she thinks she made the right decision. But she also, in the press conference she had yesterday, when asked by a reporter about this period of history, said that there was no question in her mind that that decision was a polarizing decision and that she personally had to answer for the decision she made back in 2015 and that the implications of that decision were very clear in this election. So, the refugee crisis remains an emotive issue in Germany. I also saw an exit poll where, gosh, it was 95% of AfD voters said that the loss of German culture was a key issue in their vote. So the sense that those Germans have that their identity is being…diminished by refugees and migrants and globalization. That sentiment is deeply held among those AfD voters and we see it across Europe and also in the U.S.

TV: I see AfD described as nationalist, I see them described at anti-immigrant, anti-refugee. How concerned are you about this party? I mean, how right wing are they?

KD: So let’s just do a brief history on the AfD. They first came onto the radar screen in opposition to the Euro and in opposition to Angela Merkel’s decision to bail out Greece. So originally, they started in 2013 as an anti-Euro party. Then, four years ago, they almost got into Parliament but didn’t cross that 5% threshold. And they seemed to be losing support. But they got a new lease on life with Angela Merkel’s decision on the refugee crisis to open Germany’s borders and in 2015 Germany admitted 890 thousand refugees. Last year it was 280 thousand. So you saw how dramatically that number came down. But they used that refugee issue to mobilize, well, 13% of the German electorate as we saw on Sunday. They have said deeply offensive things, if you don’t share their views. Let me just give you a sense, Tommy, of some of their campaign posters. So, one of them, what it says is, “Burkas? We prefer bikinis.” And you see three bikini clad women from the back. Then there’s another one that says, “New Germans?” and of course that new Germans is referring to refugees and migrants that have come in. So, “New Germans?” and then it says, “We want to produce our own.” And you see a woman laying down with her pregnancy belly sticking out. Then there’s another one, “Islam? It doesn’t fit into our kitchen.” And there’s a piglet on it. So those are the tactics they’ve been using in terms of their campaign posters and then you’ve had leading figures in the AfD say things like, “We should be proud of what German soldiers did in the two World Wars.” They’ve also said the Germany has spent too much effort in remembering the Holocaust. So, yes, I think it is fair to call them an extreme right party.

TV: So they are awful, is what you’re saying. They are horrible, misogynistic assholes, is my takeaway from this.

KD: The striking thing in the case of Germany is, we’ve seen far-right populist parties do well across Europe. We almost saw Marine Le Penn be elected President of France earlier this year. So it’s not that we don’t see people that hold these views across the European political landscape. But because of Germany’s past, because of the Nazi past, World War II, there has been a very high threshold among German voters in bringing a far-right party back into Parliament. And the fact that that taboo has now been broken is a watershed moment for Germany.

TV: I’m glad you sort of raised the French elections, because I think after Trump was elected, there was a concern about these far-right parties sweeping across Europe. You had UKIP, you had Marine Le Penn running in France. I think those fears we somewhat allayed after she lost badly in those elections, but it’s still frightening that he party had any support. As you noted earlier Angela Merkel winning is a good headline but, you know, the AfD’s rise is a frightening second headline. In both places, what was almost more remarkable was the collapse of the mainstream parties. What do you think this says about the future of these political systems? Are we going to continue to see parties arise from the ashes here?

KD: Tommy, I think this is a critical point. Because it’s easy when we think about a shifting political landscape to focus only on the AfD. But you’re absolutely right to point to the fact that the parties that have governed Germany since the end of World War II, on the left the Social Democrats, on the center-right the Christian Democratic Union, Merkel’s party, and the sister party, the CSU. They did worse in this election than they have ever done since 1949. So at a time when the German economy is doing well, there’s growth in Germany, there’s low unemployment, and at a time when there was high voter turnout. So in this election, about 75% of the German electorate turned out, that was higher than the past two elections, which were about 70%. And I mention that because usually when there’s high turnout, you see that the extreme parties do less well. So, good economy, high voter turnout, you still saw those parties of the center do very badly. So, there is something dramatic going on in Germany. We saw it in France, we saw Macron basically win with the major established parties not even being able to rally a fight. So the landscape and what that means going forward is critical. And this is why the Social Democrats, that center-left party that had been in coalition with Merkel, said, “We are not going to go in coalition with you again. Because we see this vote in Germany as a vote against a grand coalition government. And we the Social Democrats need to go into the opposition and define ourselves anew. Define ourselves as a Social Democratic party that’s really speaking to the challenges Germans perceive that they’re facing in the 21st century.”

0:14:31

[MUSIC]

0:14:36

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0:16:36

TV: Pod Save the World is also brought to you by Texture. It has never been harder to figure out the truth, especially these days-

[Laughter]

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0:18:18

[MUSIC]

0:18:21

TV: So you mentioned Merkel needs to form a new coalition. Obviously, we’ve talked about how AfD is in the mix but not will be in any way allied with her. Does this mean anything for Germany’s relations with NATO or the U.S.? Is there a risk that this is going to pull the country to the right and make Germany reliable ally?

KD: So there’s no question that Angela Merkel has been weakened by this election. So that will affect the weight she carries. That said, Germany is the most populist, the wealthiest country in Europe. So Germany matters. And the role that Germany will play both in the European Union and in NATO, that is not gonna change. And we saw Emmanuel Macron, the French President, give a major speech today about his vision of the European Union. And he did that very consciously two days after the German election because he wants to reinvigorate the so-called Franco-German couple that traditionally has been at the heart of the EU moving forward. In the NATO context, Germany, for the past few years, there’s been a conversation in Germany about the need for Germans to play a larger foreign and security policy role. We’re certainly seeing it in the NATO context, we have German troops now deployed in the Baltics as part of NATO’s European reassurance initiative. And we see a very active debate in Germany about spending more on defense, an issue that President Trump has hit very hardly. And that brings us to the relationship between the U.S. and Germany. As I just mentioned, one of the issues that President Trump has been very clear on is that Germany is not doing enough on the defense front. Germany today spends 1.2% of its GDP on defense. The NATO alliance decided at its 2014 summit that all NATO members needed to achieve a goal of 2% of GDP spending on defense. Germany has said, “We’ll meet that goal in 2024.” And Donald Trump would like to see them meet that goal much more quickly. The other issue he has been very adamant about has been, what he calls, Germany’s “massive trade surplus.” I am convinced President Trump is gonna continue to hit those two issues very hard going forward. I don’t think he’ll have any more success in moving Germany on them and, in fact, I think with the Social Democrats now moving into the opposition, you’re gonna see the Social Democrats instrumentalizing President Trump much more in their opposition to certain policies like increased German defense spending. If you look at public opinion surveys, Donald Trump is not popular in Germany. And the fact that you had the two major parties in coalition muted criticism of the U.S. administration. And I think that is gonna change with this new German government because of the role of the opposition parties.

TV: Another issues Trump obsesses about is the Iran deal. He’s repeatedly said he wants to pull out of the Iran deal. But the Iran deal isn’t just an agreement between the U.S. and Iran. It includes the UK, Germany, France, among others. What do Europeans make of Trump’s threats? And do you think- what do you think European leaders would do if he follows through with his threats? Is there a chance they’ll work with us to continue tougher sanctions? Or will they keep doing what they were doing and normalize relations with Iran and honor the deal?

KD: So, there have been several things, several decisions President Trump has made already in his first year that have been disconcerting to our European allies. An obvious one is the decision that President Trump made to withdraw from the Paris Climate Accord. Now, at the end of the day that was a non-binding agreement. Europeans are also working with sub-national actors in the U.S. -- governors and mayors who have pledged adherence to the commitments made in Paris. The Iran deal, I think, is in a separate category. If President Trump decides next month not to recertify Iran, then that issue goes to the U.S. Congress and the U.S. Congress will decide whether they’re going to apply additional sanctions on Iran and whether those sanctions have extraterritorial reach. This is something that will have a highly significant impact in Europe. As you pointed out, this is not a bilateral deal between the U.S. and Iran. It’s a P5 plus 1, so it’s the permanent five members of the UN Security Council and Germany that negotiated this deal with Iran. Every European country believes that it is in their interest and in the interest of world peace that this agreement continue. You hear European policy makers say, “My goodness, we’re on the threshold of a very serious nuclear crisis of North Korea. Do we really wanna reopen the Iran deal now?” So they will not go along with that decision. They will stay that they’re gonna stay committed to that nuclear deal together with Russia and China, and they will retaliate, I believe, if the U.S. Congress were to put in place sanctions with an extraterritorial reach. The Europeans have been quite outspoken about this, both last week during UN General Assembly meetings and also this week. Cause I think they’re quite concerned that President Trump already has made a decision to not certify Iran that he will then make public next month.

TV: [Groans] You mentioned North Korea. You know, Trump is escalating his war of words with Kim Jong Un daily, or ever hourly. I know that Angela Merkel has previously suggested calling for a new round of negotiations with North Korea and including Germany in those talks. That is an interesting new, more assertive role for Europe in talks with North Korea that usually include China, Japan, North Korea, South Korea, Russia, and the U.S. Do you think we’re gonna see more European countries trying to fill that diplomatic void left by the Trump administration? And what do you think the sense is in European capitals about Trump’s approach to North Korea?

KD: So I will say it caught my eye when Chancellor Merkel suggested that she was open to being helpful if she could be helpful in terms of encouraging a diplomatic solution in North Korea. Because you’re absolutely right that that is a new role for Germany to suggest that it might have a role to play in a nation security crisis of that nature. And I think there are two reasons for it. One, I think it’s part of this longer-term trend that we’ve seen of Germany playing a larger role on foreign security policy. Exhibit   there I would say is the role Germany’s played on the Ukraine crisis, happy to go into more detail on that. But I think- so part of it is just Germany playing that larger role, A. And B, the second thing is, I think Germany was unnerved by the bellicosity of the language the President Trump was using and was quite concerned that this could spiral into a very dangerous crisis that also carried implications for Europe. And so she was trying to weigh in on the side of, let’s try to create more space for a diplomatic negotiation.

0:26:07

[MUSIC]

0:26:12

TV: Pod Save the World is brought to you by SeatGeek.

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[Laughter]

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0:27:55

[MUSIC]

0:27:59

TV: There was a lot pf concern going to this election, going into the French elections, that the Russians would be able to interfere again to hack the various parties, to somehow change the outcome. It doesn’t appear that that happened. Why do you think that they’ve been able to prevent Russian interference where we failed completely?

KD: So I’m gonna do a shameless plug here for colleagues of mine at GM Math, Lara Rosenberger and Jamie Fly, who’ve started something called The Alliance for Securing Democracy. Which is looking at exactly this issue of Russian interference in our elections, of course the U.S. election is a big focus of that work. But they have also spent considerable time looking at Russian attempts to try to influence this German election. And the conclusion is that we were underwhelmed by what the Russians did in the run up to Sunday’s election and there is speculation about what the reasons for that are. I think one is because of all the attention that Russian interference in the U.S. election got, the Germans have been much more vigilant and have been more proactive in looking out for that kind of Russian interference and then reacting immediately. I think that’s one reason. I think a second factor is that the Russians, the Germans are aware that the Russians were able to steal a good amount of records from the German parliament, all sorts of emails. And so there’s speculation that they were gonna drop some of that email cache in the run up to the election. And so, all of the parties in Germany agreed, there was sort of a Gentleman’s Agreement, that if the Russians did that, they were not going to use any of that material to help their campaigns. So did that have a chilling effect on Russia actually deploying that information? So there are various- there’s speculation about why we didn’t see as active a Russian role, but there is no question that the Russians, to the extent they did intervene, were doing it to try to sow cultural upset and play on social divisions that were already there in Germany and trying to exacerbate them. To harm Angela Merkel and to make greater hay out of the issues around refugees and migration.

TV: That is interesting and I hope we can learn some of these lessons and actually be a little more united in advance of potential Russian hacking because, god help us, we are not technically ready for 2018. It has been interesting for me to step back and watch various European leaders deal with Trump. You had Macron sort of talk tough, called him out on issues, you know, there’s the famous hand shake where he gripped really hard and started him down, and you know talked about bullying. Merkel has been seemingly a little more wary of Trump. What do you think of the approach from European leaders to President Trump? Is he viewed as a threat or someone they’re worried about? Or do you think he could become a useful foil if, as you noted, his approval continues to dip in countries like Germany?

KD: So, it’s interesting the different approaches that various European leaders have taken to him. And I think you see some who are saying, look this is just not someone we can work with and there are issues like climate that are critically important to us and we just need to forge out own paths. Then there are other leaders and other issues where, the dependence that Europe has on the U.S. is so significant that Europeans feel they don’t have the luxury of disassociating themselves. You certainly see this in a context of Central and East European countries that feel threatened by an aggressive Russia on their eastern borders. And they wanna see a continued significant U.S. role in their neighborhood. And then I think you have another group of leaders who are saying, look we’re gonna exercise strategic patience here. We’re Trans-Atlanticists, the relationship to the U.S. is critically important to us and we appreciate that IU.S. administrations are four years long and we’re just gonna hold off on big projects until you know the next chapter in the U.S. political story. Macron, it was fascinating to see how he successfully engaged President Trump. His invitation to President Trump to join him for Bastille Day and celebrating the 100th anniversary of the U.S. entry into World War I was a very successful example of outreach. And, you know, we saw last week that President Macron was trying to influence President Trump also on the Iran deal and what position he might ultimately articulate on that. We’ll see if he’s successful with that, not clear. Angela Merkel, in her meeting in the Oval Office, I heard from folks around her that she prepared more for that meeting than she has for any other. Because she felt it was such a critical meeting for Germany. And once she has built he coalition I am sure that coalition will give thought to, are there concrete projects that we can work on with the United States where we can say, “Here are issues we both care about and we together, Germans and Americans, can make a difference?” Because she wants to maintain a strong relationship with Washington. But it’s very difficult when the President has openly criticized her in quite harsh terms in some cases. So I think we’ll see how they’re able to maybe have a fresh start on the relationship with a new government and try to define areas for renewed cooperation.

TV: My last question for you is about Turkey. That last time we talked, you know, we sort of talked about how President Erdogan was increasingly authoritarian. I’ve also noticed that he has, despite being a member of NATO, turned to Russia to purchase major weapons systems which I think raised a lot of eyebrows in military circles and those sort of watching Turkey to see where they are. Today he’s threatening the Kurds in Iraq over their referendum, saying it could lead to an ethnic war. What is your sense of where Turkey is in terms of being a western ally, or a country we are concerned with?

KD: So I’m usually the half-glass full kind of person. And I thin Angela Merkel’s extremely pragmatic in most of her relationships. The relationship with Turkey is really tough for all of the reasons you articulated and more. With the failed coup in turkey we saw President Erdogan arrest lots of Turks and put them in jail. Some of the folks that he put in jail in Turkey happen to have German citizenship, that’s been a very sensitive issues un the case of German-Turkish relations. On the other hand, we saw Angela Merkel, in her response to managing the refugee crisis, negotiate a deal with Erdogan so that Erdogan would close the Turkish border and thereby stop the flow of refugees coming from Syria because of the civil war into Europe. So it’s this weird dichotomy where you have a very troubled German-Turkish relationship yet you had a deal, an EU-Turkey deal, around refugees that is continuing to hold. Now, on the bad side of the relationship, it was really striking in the immediate run up to the German election to have Turkish President Erdogan say to Turkish-German voters, do not vote for the CDU, for Angela Merkel’s Party, for the Social Democrats, or for the Greens, because they are enemies of Turkey. This is very strong language about established Democratic parties in Germany from a NATO ally. Now in the immediate wake of the German election there was language coming out Ankara saying, we need to reset the relationship and we need a fresh start here. But you referenced the referendum that took place in the Kurdish region of Iraq for an independent Kurdistan. Depending on how that moves forward, that is not something the Turks will accept/ And, you know, talking to folks who watch Turkey much more closely than I do, they have said to me that there’s a real possibility that you could see a Turkish military incursion. So if something like that were to happen then the fraught German-Turkish relationship, I think only gets worse. One last point here, which is, if Angela Merkel succeeds in building this so-called Jamaica Coalition -- and it’s Jamaica coalition because all the parties in Germany have colors. So her party’s black, and then the Free Democrats are yellow, and the Greens are green, so the colors of the Jamaican flag. If that Jamaican Coalition happens, one of the leading figures in the Green party, Cem Özdemir, is a German of Turkish background. And it’s possible that he could become German Foreign Minister in that new coalition. So that would make it even more interesting.

TV: Interesting indeed. Karen, thank you so much for doing the show. It was much more fun talking to you this time, from our studio here at Crooked Media HQ, than the last time when I was in Jon Lovett’s house with a guy using a leaf blower next door. But both times were fascinating, so thank you again and I really appreciate it.

KD: [Laughs] The pleasure is mine, Tommy. Thanks so much. Buh-bye.

TV: Alright, have a great day.

KD: You too.

0:37:55

[MUSIC]

TV: Thanks again to Karen Donfried for joining me today. Remember if you like us, please rate the show on iTunes, check out the Pod Save the World Facebook page for bonus materials, and follow me on Twitter at @tvietor08. Thanks for listening, guys.

0:38:39

[awesomenell65]

My thoughts about my participation in the Women’s March in Washington, DC, Jan 21, 2017.

I’m still struggling to take it all in. The scope was so much more massive than anyone expected, or even dared to hope for. Certainly much more massive than anything I dared to dream of. (Meaning I have learned to dream too small.)

We began to have an inkling of what was to come as we drove east along the Ohio Turnpike. Rest area after rest area was full of women. Women like us and women not at all like us. Tall women, short women, old women, young women, girls, white women, black women, Latinx women, Asian women, women with headscarves, women with yarmulkes, women with canes and women in wheelchairs, and more and more and more of them proudly sporting their pink pussy hats the closer we got to metro DC.

Somehow I’d missed entirely the pussy hat memo. At first I found them silly, when I saw my first one or two, goofy, hot-pink, oddly shaped hats. Were those…. ears? Horns? An oddly misshapen vulva? I didn’t get it.

Then it was six, then a dozen, and then a score, and by the end of our day of travel, hundreds and hundreds more. And I wanted one for myself. If I’d spotted a vendor at the March site, I would have plopped down a ridiculous amount of cash for something I could make myself, just to have the satisfaction of immediately sporting the signal of my sisters and brothers on March day.

(Sadly, I saw none. My 74 year-old mom, who was with us on our trip and at the March and a life-long knitter, has vowed to go home and knit as many as our large group of family and friends, spanning the generations, wanted. She’s got a lot of pink and purple yarn stashed in bins, baby blankets and seven granddaughters generating plenty of leftover yarn.)

As we travelled eastward through Pennsylvania with plenty of stops (pregnancy and childbirth tends to wreak havoc on bladder control and all of us travelling together on Friday had done both more than once) and the crowds of pink-hatted women continued to swell, I got weepier and weepier. 

Overwhelmed by the growing sense that I was part of something so much bigger than my own grief and fears for the future.  By the sense that maybe, just maybe, we have a chance to fight back and regain what we will inevitably lose here in the short run. (He signed the global gag rule - its so much worse than you think - on Monday. They want women to die. They revel in it. They are monsters, every single one of them, and we must keep that front and center as we fight.) 

My travelling companions and I also began to speculate that the hopes of the organizers for 250,000 or so marchers in DC, were going to be surpassed. Significantly. That if we were seeing so many women, women of all ages, all races and ethnicities, and a not insignificant sprinkling of men travelling with them, in just our one little travel bubble along just one route to DC, then there had to be a lot more than a few hundred thousand marchers on their way.

Then my sister from Texas texted us. Sharing that her very early morning plane flight from Houston was nearly entirely filled with women headed for the March.  And throughout the day, more Facebook and Tumblr posts – planes full of women. Buses full of women. Trains full of women. And cars. With signs. The Pussy Wagon! So many cars and vans! More hints of what was coming.

We all converged on the home of one of my aunts; our little group, my sister, other aunts and cousins and friends. She welcomed us with open arms, filling her beds and couches and floors, and found neighbors willing to take in the overflow.

That night we sat down for that special kind of family supper. One full of women who have known each other all their lives but spend too little time together, geography and life events having pulled us in many different directions.  We all talked fast and loud and over each other about the crowds we’d seen so far. Boasted to each other that this was going to be big. Really, really big. And then, as family does, we started sharing our stories. Old familiar ones, new ones, ones that make you laugh so hard you cry. Bragged on our children. Wished still more family had been able to join us. Wished for all those in the previous generations we’ve lost over the years to see what they are part of still. (Also, we shared lots of wine.)

On Saturday, March Day, about half of us had reserved seats on one of the many buses organizing women had hired for their neighborhoods. The other half headed for the metro.

I’m not sure which of us had the better of it – we all met so many wonderful people on our way, and shared stories and excitement as we made our various ways into the city.

Then we hit the traffic. So much traffic.  We finally arrived near (not at, already too full) the announced start site not long after ten o’clock am. The march start was so packed we could only stand along the very edge, peering down Independence Avenue toward the Museum of the American Indian, and trying to skirt the circle far enough to see one of the big screens and hear some of the speakers.

Meanwhile, the crowd kept growing. And growing. And growing. We tried to maneuver closer to what seemed to be ‘the action,’ a spot where we would be able to better hear and see the pre-march rally, but got trapped (along with scores or hundreds) of others in a side route and eventually slithered backwards to near our original starting point, trying to regain our sort of partial view of things.

Along the way we chatted with our neighbors and ourselves, new friends from the bus who’d joined us, and read signs and took so many pictures, and took more pictures of more signs. Signs for everything and everyone. You’ve seen the pictures, the albums, the thousands and tens and hundreds of thousands of wonderful, beautiful, hopeful, angry signs.  

Up close – and very personal! – it was overwhelming, if in the best possible way.

I decided, with an hour and a half to go to Marching time, that I would head for the Port-a-jons, knowing the lines would be long. It took me almost all that time to complete my business, and the crowd was packed so very tightly that in that hour I had so much intimate body contact with so many strangers that any attempt to avoid it began to seem churlish and rude.  In fact we leaned into each other, for support, to keep together as we wove through the crowds, to hold our precious spot in ‘the line’. The crush – and it was truly a crush, as in we were all totally crushed together – meant we started chatting.

Mostly remarking over and over (and over!) that this was all utterly amazing. It was really very difficult to find any other words to capture the entirety and magnitude of it all. And everyone was so cheerful, and good spirited, and amazed, and excited to be part of something that was clearly so much bigger than we knew.

Swimming my way back out of the most intense press afterwards, I discovered that the regions away from the loo lines were more crowded than ever. Our group finally decided to head out further along the March route, try to get a jump, as it were, on the start up.

We passed the drummers in Hancock Park, and stopped and listened for a time. 

Then we circled back the main route on Independence Avenue, and that was when we learned that there were a LOT MORE JUMBO SCREENS than we’d realized and much better sound.

I have now heard Alicia Keys and Janelle Monae and the Mothers of the Movement sing live. And Angela Davis. And Maryum Ali. And Sophie Cruz. All of them speaking their stories. (I glimpsed Gloria Steinem speaking on screen, while crushed in the bathroom line, never did hear her.)

All of them women who, living deep in the heart of the White Midwest as I do, I never expected to be in the presence of, much less hear speak or sing, especially not all at one event. I’ll be bragging on this alone for the rest of my life.

We heard more speakers. And more speakers.  And the crowd continued to grow. We tried to move closer – from the side road, across the sidewalks to the main road. Our group got separated. Never did see some of them again until the bus meet up point hours later. (We all had other friends and family who’d come to the march from other points and via different routes. Between the crush and the patchy phone signals, trying to find each other was a lost cause.)

Still the crowd grew. And grew. And got smushed closer and closer and closer together as we filled in all the available space, and made more. (I’m sorry, plantings around subway grates – I wouldn’t have trod upon you if I’d known you were there. But I couldn’t see the ground ahead, only the ground at my feet.)

And the crowds began to get restless as 1:00 passed, then 1:15, then 1:30, 2:00…. and no call to begin the march itself. 

Rumors flew, but finally by about 2:30 the real story – that the march route was so jam packed start to finish that there was nowhere to actually go – began to filter through.

My only criticism of the March and Rally organizers? The organizers should have just told us. Instead as late as 2:15 or so Janelle Monae was still reminding us of the planned route, as though we might start any minute. So people stayed in place, all smashed up together, to march! Periodically chanting, “MARCH MARCH MARCH” to helpfully remind organizers that’s why we were all there! 

If we’d known, then perhaps more general movement might have been a little more possible earlier … we all might have tried fall back a step or three, to move around a bit, see more posters, more signs, more hats, might have visited the Mall and the crowds there, realized there were A LOT more jumbotrons to watch, and enjoyed more of the speakers and performers instead of greeting each new “And let me introduce our NEXT SPEAKER!” with collective groans of impatience.

No. I never did hear Ashley Judd or Madonna or America Ferrera or Amanda Nugyen or so many others. I wish I had. I have watched them online since I returned home! I was there, near the speakers’ platform! But never – at those times – was I in a good spot to hear or see clearly.

Finally around 3pm it occurred to me and to members of my reduced group that we should begin to make our way to our bus pick up spot, where we had to be no later than 4pm on the dot or risk being left behind.

Along the way we saw so many more people, more signs, more hats, (more bathroom lines of immense length) and a spontaneous march of several hundreds (thousands) down (up?) D Street, complete with the large puppets and banners and drums and chants that make for a great political march. I was very jealous to be up on the L’Enfant Plaza overpass and not able to join in, and they were headed in the wrong direction for us anyway. And of course, this was only a tiny fraction of the numbers of people there. We never got anywhere near the White House. Didn’t try for the mall, thinking no one would be out there!

Our bus couldn’t make it to our original pick up – so many people were present the DC police had pushed out the roadblocks, and so we walked several more blocks to catch our transportation out to my aunt’s home.

As our various scattered small pods reconnected over dinner (and yes, a lot more wine!), we shared our stories and our pictures and our reflections of our day. We were all absolutely convinced we had participated in something momentous, especially as news and pictures from other family members elsewhere began to trickle in. Cousins from several generations marching in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Seattle, Birmingham, Ann Arbor, New Orleans and Lansing. Others in towns so small you’d need state identifiers – in Connecticut, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Texas.

In case you’re wondering about all the southern representation? My mother’s family were diehard New Dealers from the rural south who worked for Rural Electrification, Rural schools, and supported the Agricultural Adjustment Act. FDR was their hero. They have largely remained committed Democrats ever since. When the time came many (though not all) of them marched (I won’t lie, with more or less trepidation) for Civil Rights. My own grandmother in particular put herself on the line for justice and equal opportunity, time and time again. Her daughter, my mother, participated in her first marches in 1962.

Once all the exclaiming and telling was over, we went around the table Saturday night and asked each other and ourselves the question of what do we do next. How will we each act to sustain the movement, the energy, the resistance to what is coming.

Our answers were many and varied. Get involved with initiatives through our work or our communities for women and girls in sports, in education, in schools. Make the commitment to carry through with the two hours a week pledge to contact our representatives up and down the line, voicing our support by phone, email and letter, for staying the course of justice and resisting the coming fascist tide.

One of my sisters has doubled own on her goal to make Planned Parenthood the focus of her activist energy and time and money. The other declared her intention to run for statewide office, a move she’s already begun to plan. Her friend who had joined us on our trek outlined – as her campaign manager – what steps she will need to take over the next two-three years to become a viable candidate. Several of us pledged to work or donate to her campaign when the time comes, though none of us live nearby.

There was some talk of how to engage with our neighbors or in-laws or work colleagues who oppose all we stand for. Some argued for persuasion, others for correction.

I favor the later, when it feels appropriate and risk is low instead of high – and tolerance of risk, like any other practice, grows stronger once you start.

I believe gently engaging politically or personally with those who are committed to fascism  – though they do not call it that yet – and to Donald Trump and his Republican Party – is a waste of precious resources, notably time and emotional energy, best saved for more productive activities.

I suggested that instead, now that the hour is so very late, we should focus on the persuadable. Those who have some openness to hear what we say. That we waste no more time speaking kindly with our opponents and their fellow travellers. That we strive to be allies to people with less privilege than our own.

Which means identifying both groups first, the persuadable and those who would welcome more of our voices and our bodies in their work, something I am not entirely clear about how to do – so I will have to learn.

End of Part I. Part II will go up later today.

[herefromeden]

Law and Order Finales Review

The Episodes as a Whole (Bensler angle to come)

SVU

Overall, I thought the case itself had potential, but it didn’t pan out whatsoever. All characters in this episode seemed really surface level, and we didn’t get enough dialogue/back story to really create an emotional connection with the victims. I notice this becoming a theme with SVU, and I’ll chalk it up to COVID filming (?) The detectives themselves seemed to hold the case at arms length, and it didn’t seem to be a priority. The “twist” of the social justice woman being involved was not a twist. It was obvious from the second she was on our tv screens.

Garland is having health problems and the police force is mad at him for being “woke”. Honestly, he’s a snooze-fest so idk what else to say here.

Of course we had the Fin/Phoebe relationship subplot which I honestly love and feel that the show is completely wrecking. This is a great chance to give one of the detectives and actual love life and she has been mentioned a total of maybe 5 times since she appeared in that first episode. The wedding being canceled didn’t make sense because, as always, we got 0 information about their relationship leading up to it. I thought the opportunity for the characters to be together in a setting other than work was great. I always like to see a bit of the characters’ personal lives and in more casual settings.

I’m IN LOVE with how they dealt with Rollins and Carisi. It was such a precious moment between the two of them where Carisi was able to subconsciously voice his feelings for Amanda and her reaction was very in character and couldn’t have been done better. On the other side, it’s odd that this show that is clearly so against infidelity would allow Carisi to technically cheat on his girlfriend, but I digress.

OC

This was a huge disappointment. There were so many strong theories surrounding how the Wheatley/Kathy case was going to unfold because we have been left with an explanation that is kind of obvious and spoon-fed. I think all the viewers were grasping at straws trying to make the case more complicated or sinister than it wound up being. Furthermore, this finale didn’t actually dig up any new information (except for the twist which I’ll get to). Once the credits rolled, I had to take a second to realize that that was actually it. All other episodes so far had been packed with action and twists and turns, that the finale seemed watered down and completely unmemorable.

Wheatley all but named Olivia in the last episode, but Elliot doesn’t try to protect her or even reach out to her to give her a head’s up that something may be coming? Completely out of character and made Wheatley’s little monologue about “another woman” unnecessary.

The entire Angela storyline in the finale was both boring and confusing at the same time. Having her lawyer dig into Olivia’s identity seemed really gratuitous to me and just a quick and easy way to bring Olivia back up. Her poisoning didn’t make sense, and I don’t know if it’s because it actually didn’t make sense or that I was almost 3/4 through a bottle of Prosecco at that point. She had shower products brought in from a local shop and she was poisoned by them? Did she friggin drink the shampoo? Idk what happened there.

The entire hospital scene. This is where the train completely derailed, flipped over a few times, came apart and then exploded in a coal burning fire disaster. Why would Olivia believe that text was from Elliot when he has never in his God forsaken life called her “O”? I understand that the Morales revelation was meant to be shocking and a huge twist, but I honest to God didn’t even know what his name was until someone said it in this episode. For it to be as shocking as they intended, we needed to have a real connection with the character to feel the betrayal that Elliot and Ayana felt and share in Ayana’s heartbreak in being forced to shoot him. But I didn’t feel anything at all.

I still don’t know why Angela was meant to OD. If Wheatley had actual recordings of her, there would be no need to get her out of the way.