#ama stays and trails

[adlertours]

2024 Long Weekend at Ama Stays & Trails

2024 #LongWeekends at #AmaStaysAndTrails Plan your holidays with your loved ones in advance #TheMangoHouse #Alibag #PalmeiraDeSocorro #Goa #WhisperingHeights #Lonavala #HeliconiaVilla #Wayanad #TaneerhullaBungalow #Coorg March : 08-10 | 23-25 | 29-31 April : 11-14 May : 23-26 June : 15-17 August : 15-19 | 23-26 September : 05-08 October : 10-14 November : 01-03 | 15-17 December :…

[staystrailsama]

Nestled in the middle of a lush Mango Orchard in Alibag, Asanji Wadi is a beautiful 4-bedroom villa that offers travellers a relaxing stay, replete with simple, fun activities and experiences unique to this quaint coastal town. With high ceilings, stone flooring, a wooden staircase and pillars, the interior of this home exude a warm and old-world vibe.  Visit us: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-34yEYyEMg&list=PLL80Mfwd0qUjNbPT0My-ZLnTsXhUPSgip&index=2

[amastaysandtrailsindia]

Step into the beautiful landscapes and destinations of Maharashtra, where adventure meets comfort, and getaways turn into the perfect retreats with friends and family!

[lewsnumerounofan]

dirty pt2 (theodore nott x reader)

summary: theo wants u back. that’s it.

notes: theo pov-ish, boy is grovelling, unedited, angst, mentions of smut

+ really wanna do a filthy smut oneshot of them as like a pt3 kinda what u think

+ part one

Theo couldn’t find you anywhere. It was like you’d disappeared off the face of the fucking planet and left him alone, sulking through the cold castle hallways.

Ever since the party—the party where he’d left you like the idiot he was—you’d been a ghost. Even after rumour spread that you’d broke up with your golden boy boyfriend, you’d stayed away.

In your place, all Theo had done was miss you. It was stupid. He was stupid—a right git Mattheo has said—for what he’d done. What he’d been doing, really. Months of hook ups had given him plenty of time to talk to you about his feelings, about the two of you. Instead he’d squandered all his chances on you, on feeling you, on the pretty sounds you made under him. It had been hard to resist.

Except now it meant that he’d let all his longing and jealousy boil over into one cruel, ill-timed statement.

Isn’t that what you have your boyfriend for, ama?

Yeah, brilliant move Theo.

He exhaled harshly, watching his breath on the cold winters air. Tugging his coat tighter he took another drag of his cigarette, idly thumbing over the lighter in his other hand.

Where could you be? You only shared one class, and lately you’d taken to skipping it. He’d checked the library, the courtyard, and just about every other fucking room in the school. Bloody nothing.

And then, as if carried to him on the lightly falling snow, and idea. A memory, really.

It’d been a few months ago, after a particularly tricky exam. He’d seen you leave class crying and hadn’t been able to stop himself from following.

To ease his own conscious he’d promised himself it was just so he could ask you for the notes on a previous days lecture (notes he had, as always, already stole from the Ravenclaw he sat behind). Not because his chest tugged at the sight of your teary eyes, and certainly not because he had been feeling the ever growing urge to lay into whoever—or whatever—had your pretty eyes all glassy.

So he’d trailed you through the castle, winding up and up and up until you’d emerged onto a secluded balcony. Shrouded with shrubs and small, intricate statues, the small patio looked over much of the castle and grounds; to the west the river rolled heavy and full.

You hadn’t even looked surprised to see him. Just let your arms fall across his shoulders as you’d hugged him tight.

He hadn’t gotten the notes that day. He’d just held you up there on the terrace until the sun went down, all the while carting his fingers through your hair and muttering that you’d be just fine.

The boy stamped out his cig, doing his best to shake off the memory. No use dwelling on it if you never even spoke to him again.

He cut curtly across the grounds, quickly winding his way through the stairwells and hallways. Paying no mind to Draco and Blaise who tried to wave him down by the great hall, Theo did his best to clamp down on the worry hounding him.

What if you weren’t there? Worse: what if you were? What if you wouldn’t talk to him, or if you did only to tell him that it’d all been a mistake? That leaving you there had been the final straw and you never wanted to see him again.

The boys face grew graver with each thought. His clear eyes clouded with anxiety and his brows tightened. Students in younger years hurried to clear a path as he strode through them. No one much wanted to be on the receiving end of Nott’s hexes.

Finally he arrived at the correct landing. This area of the castle was largely deserted. And besides, most people were already prepping for bed on their dorms.

But you’d had trouble sleeping since September. And it was a crescent moon tonight, your favourite. So you’d be here, despite the snow.

Theo wanted to laugh at himself for all theses stupid, mundane things he’d gathered about you. Every time he’d laid next to you after you’d fucked, every bit of tucked away conversation. He’d remembered.

Hidden in the shadows, he shook himself.

Get over yourself, Nott. Get over yourself, and get her back.

He gave himself no time to think before stepping onto the snowy balcony.

At first he didn’t see you, tucked up behind the thick white hedges. But against the heavy stone railing you perched, slender hands holding an unlit cigarette of your own.

You didn’t look surprised to see him. In fact, when your eyes met you seemed almost… expectant.

Theo settled beside you. His heart was running embarrassingly quickly at your snowy lashes, at your eyes—shining in the moonlight.

“Theo.”

It was even more embarrassing the effect your saying his name wreaked. Without fail it had his breath hitching. When he had you spread under him, when you sobbed his name and gripped his curls when he ate you out-

Theo tried hard not to let his cheeks go red.

You were staring out towards the moon reflecting off the water through the clouds.

“What are you doing here?”

He didn’t let his hand shake as he lit your cigarette either. When you finally locked eyes with him he said, “I wanted to apologize.”

He could tell the words gave you pause. Theodore Nott was most definitely not the type to apologize. Sulky, prideful and sarcastic, the boy typically wouldn’t be caught dead saying such things to anyone.

But you weren’t anyone, certainly not to Theo.

“I- I don’t know what I was thinking. Honestly. It was stupid to leave you at the party. All of it was stupid, how I treated you was wrong,” he said.

You’d never heard him speak so many words at once. And you’d never seen him look… nervous? The Theo before you was someone entirely new. His hands ran through his hair anxiously, and he bit at his lip harshly to keep any more rambling from spilling forth.

Keep it together, Theodore.

“What we were doing was wrong-“

“You mean the cheating? Or the whole bloody relationship, Nott?”

He wanted to curse himself. Perhaps if he’d spent a bit longer thinking about something intelligent to say and a little less about your eyes and your fucking smile he wouldn’t have to be facing your harsh scowl now.

Nothing was coming out how he needed it to, and Theo was painfully aware of your mounting temper. But he couldn’t blow this. Not if it meant what he feared; no more hallway glances, no more intimate touches, no more you.

“It wasn’t a relationship-“

“Brilliant Theodore, thanks for rubbing that it.”

“And that was the problem,” he said.

Frustration brought the two of you closer, until you stood, jabbing a finger into his chest. You had to crane your neck back to meet his gaze, dark and heavy in the moonlight.

“What?” you asked.

You mapped his sigh in the frosty air as Theo exhaled heavily. Steeling himself.

“It wasn’t a relationship. That was the problem. I treated you like a hook up for months and it wasn’t right.”

“But that’s what it was, Theodore. I had a boyfriend-“

He was shaking his head, taking your cold hands in his.

“Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. I had so much time to change that. To fight for you and what I knew I wanted. I was just too jealous and scared to do it.”

Your eyes were wide at his confession. Jealous, sure. But scared? Before you could question him Theo continued, words coming fast and desperate.

“I was terrified that if I did something—if I changed our relationship at all—I’d lose whatever part of you I got. Even if that was broom closet hookups and nothing more… I wouldn’t—I couldn’t lose that. And it took me until now to realize that you deserve better than that. You deserve everything.”

He took a deep breath, chest moving heavily.

“I couldn’t. I couldn’t let you go without telling you that.”

Baby blue eyes on yours. Around you the snow fell in heavier swaths, blanketing Theo’s shoulders with the palest white. He looked like your own personal prince in shining armour.

“And can you give me that?” you asked, soft as the falling snow.

Words seemed to fail the boy in front of you.

“Everything?” you prompted.

“If… if you’d let me,” he said. Voice low but steady. Gaze on you, even while his hands shook.

You almost wanted to laugh at the whole beautiful scene. At the snow and the moonlight. At the grumpy boy who’d found you and talked to you in ways no one ever had before. At the absurdity of it all. At how his thumb traced over your knuckles like he was checking you were real.

“If I say yes, it means we fuck in real beds from now on. Okay?”

In disbelief Theo laughed. He pulled you closer. He let his forehead fall to yours. He thought, how did I get so fucking lucky.

“If you say yes we can fuck wherever you want.”

You wrapped your cold hands up in his curls. Kissed one rosy cheek, then the other. His birthmark.

“I have a condition too,” he murmured.

Barely pulling away enough to hum you let him take your face in his big hands.

“Don’t ever fucking call me Theodore again.”

You laughed as he kissed you, snowflakes melting on your lips.

-

taglist from pt1

@b00kdiary @peony-haze @hisparentsgallerryy @unclecrunkle @devotedlycrookeddonut

[johannestevans]

Big big update!

Good evening, all!

New email update - you can get these directly in your inbox, if you'd like.

Apologies for not having sent out my big update sooner after my Reddit AMA - I have been juggling a few behind-the-scenes projects, mostly publication pitches and collaborations!

In the meantime, I’ve begun publishing some of my short stories as eBooks, and I’m going to continue to make more available over the coming weeks and months - I’m only going to publish the ones that are 5,000-25,000 words, and I’m planning to price the majority of them at 99c or around that area. I don’t want to publish all of them at once, so I’ll be doing two or three each week for the ongoing future.

None of them are going to be exclusive eBooks, and all of them are going to be available on Patreon, Medium, or other publishing platforms first, but I might make a few available in paperback form if people crave particular volumes in physical form.

More Than Coffee - Erotic romance with some light humour and organised crime - on Amazon & on SmashWords

Touch-Starved - Erotic romance with a focus on need for intimacy and disability - on Amazon & on SmashWords

Gellert's New Job - Modern fantasy & vampire criminals -on Amazon & on SmashWords

Cold Comfort - Period fiction, character study & organised crime - on SmashWords

Please let me know if there are particular of my short stories you’d like to see available in eBook or paperback form - and note that Amazon has extremely stringent and somewhat ridiculous restrictions on what is permitted on its platform.

Anything with consent issues or that is erotica but also contains trauma or rape recovery I’m probably going to only publish on Smashwords, but Amazon considers werewolves who do knotting as part of bestiality, so tragically, none of my werewolf smut (or centaur stuff, or probably minotaur stuff) is going to be able to be published there.

New Works Published since my last update:

Serial Update: Lashton Sounds

Gellert and his bodyguard are kidnapped by the Laithes. 

Gellert Osgodby is beginning to settle into his position as Lucien Pike’s secretary, but nothing in Lashton ever stays the same for long.

On Patreon / / On Medium / / On Ao3

Romance/Fantasy Short: Bone-Eater, Hungry for Fire

A warrior a-viking stumbles upon a burned man in monk's robes.

Rated M, M/M. A warrior a-viking in England is interrupted in a raid by a mad monk who is even madder than he seems. Some fire-crossed lovers for you!

Early Medieval England. Some fucked-up power dynamics, mentions of period-typical slavery and human trafficking, branding, burns, and fire play. 

On Patreon / / On Medium

Serial Updates: Rescue Dogs

Cecil Hobbes, an ex-PE teacher disgraced and looked down on in his hometown, has a new partner: Sir Valorous King, a knight of the realm, once a child of prophecy, and Cecil’s stalker. A few months into their relationship, Cecil finally convinces Valorous to see a therapist, on the condition that Cecil attend one himself.

Chapters Nineteen through Twenty-One!

On Ao3 / / On WorldAnvil / / On Medium

Romance Short: The Devil’s Mark

In medieval Bohemia, a young man trails after the executioner after the hanging of his father. 

11k, rated E, M/M. After the hanging of his father, a young man lingers on the doorstep of the village executioner. Eventually taking pity on him, the executioner invites him inside. 

On Patreon / / On Medium

Presentation: What's In A Uniform? Colonial Appearances in Star Trek and other Sci-Fi

On YouTube

Blog Post: The Wonders of WorldCon 2024

A write-up of panels & experiences at Glasgow 2024.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Movie Review: Alien: Romulus: An Abortive Attempt at Homage to a Classic

Romulus started out promising, then proved itself an awful disappointment.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Serial Update: Two Scientists

Erotic short. Elek’s nipples are now painfully sensitive as his tits grow.

Rated E, a little under 2k. Several of his party take the time to stimulate Elek at once, largely concentrate on his sore, sensitive nipples. The same eggpreg, nipple stimulation, anal knotting, overstimulation, coming untouched.

On Patreon / / On Medium / / On Ao3

Erotic Short: Sun-Kissed and Lightning-Touched

A mercenary and a messenger travel together to an isolated mountain shrine. 

9k, rated E, cis M/M. Euclides, a mercenary, accompanies the haughty messenger Iridoros to an isolated shrine on the top of a mountain. Euclides knows their destination well in advance — Iridoros knows flirtation and sex, and tries to ply or be plied with one or the other. 

Some sexy non-bloody sacrifice, anal, teasing, back-and-forth, rough sex, some electricity play. Mostly a lot of Ancient Greek banter. 

On Medium / / On Patreon

Fantasy Short: Street Trade

A streetwalker goes up to an old car with tinted windows.

Rated E, M/M, 2k. A sex worker on the street approaches a car he’s seen lurking around regularly, and finds the client inside is unexpected. Vampires, priests, and a sex worker, oh my.

On Medium / / On Patreon

[magicshopaholic]

Seoul (Namjoon x OC)

Summary: You and Namjoon meet in Seoul again, this time as exes.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Genre: Fluff, angst

Word count: 13.8 K

Rating: 18+

Warnings: language, break-up, talk about parental issues, stress, infidelity, kissing

A/N: So... this got a little longer than expected. Some questions will be asked, many will be answered. A lot of holiday cheer and pretty Christmas lighting. But the best part about this fic has to be the fact that I haven't proofread it.

Set approximately nine months after Next Time but can be read standalone.

Tagging: @bbl32, @meirkive, @quarter-life-crisis2, @kflixnet (if you want to be added to the taglist, lmk)

Listen to: “ghost” by parekh & singh

namjoon masterlist | main masterlist

The last cloud floats away, and the sun peeks out apologetically. Bathed in light, the landscape looks like a colourful painting - a blue sky with a hint of purple, the edge of a green hill cutting it at an angle, and a winding road finishing it off. Visible in between two parallel rows of buildings, it feels like a glimpse of summer on a cold winter morning.

Kaya raises her phone to click a picture, ignoring her frozen fingers. This is Instagram-worthy, she decides - story only, even though she rarely posts anything else. She considers a caption for a brief moment, but it feels almost cruel to disturb the picture.

Over an hour later, when she’s in the car on her way home, her phone pings and she sees a reply to her story.

artisfolly [12:45] You’re in Seoul?

Kaya’s heart skips a beat. She suddenly realises why she’d felt the need to take a picture of that particular hill and it’s no surprise that he’s recognised it, too. His question is unexpected, though, and she can think of nothing to say but the obvious.

kaya_m [12:46] Yeah.

artisfolly [12:47] Why didn’t you tell me?

She stares at the screen, at a rare loss for words. She can’t fathom why he would ask her this, and the fact that they’re speaking to each other for the first time in nearly three months reduces her to simple honesty.

kaya_m [12:50] I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me.

A beat passes. Kaya realises only a moment later how tightly she’s clutching her phone and forces her fingers to loosen up.

artisfolly [12:51] I always want to hear from you.

Another beat. Then – 

artisfolly [12:51] Can we meet for coffee?

—

The city is already lit up and ready for the holidays. There’s the faint sound of instrumental carols from somewhere down the street as people enter and exit shops in a flurry, all bundled up in fashionable winter wear.

Namjoon still isn’t entirely sure why he picked this place to meet up. Gangnam just made sense because it was reasonably close by, but it’s also busy - it makes him feel less exposed somehow, although he isn’t fully sure what he’s trying to stay hidden from.

He glances at the menu of the coffee cart as he waits for her. Again, it wasn’t what he’d had in mind when he’d proposed to meet up for coffee, but his mind had gone blank when he’d tried to think of a place. For some reason, all he could think about was this small cart and the fact that it had a hazelnut drink. Around two hours ago, after nearly a whole day of thinking, he’d realised he couldn’t put it off anymore and texted Kaya with the location of the department store next door.

Namjoon exhaled, trying to ignore the low hum of anxiety in his stomach. A lot had happened in the last couple of days: a new track had been submitted for approval, their appearance at the AMAs in January was under review, he had a package that was currently stuck in customs - and then he’d found out his ex-girlfriend was back in Seoul. The anxiety is warranted, he decides.

It’s a few minutes past four pm when his phone buzzes. He feels a jolt in his stomach as he answers. “Hey.”

“Hey. I, uh… I think I’m at the location…” Kaya trails off, sounding unsure. “I can’t see Aldo, though.”

Namjoon swallows; the last time they’d spoken on the phone, she’d sounded very different. His heart skips an uncomfortable beat when he thinks about it.

“Oh.” He clears his throat. “Um, where are you right now?”

“I’m at…” She trails off again, and he pictures her looking around, eyes big and upward. “Okay, I just passed Zara.”

“Okay, just keep walking straight,” he tells her, turning to face the direction he knows she’s coming from. “You’ll see an auditorium kind of thing on your left -“

“There’s just a turn here.

“Yeah, no, you’ll have to cross the street. Be careful,” he adds automatically when he hears a car horn at her end.

She says nothing to that but stays on the line. “Okay, I think I see the auditorium… is that an auditorium?”

“Kind of, I guess. Street musicians, up and comers perform there and stuff.”

“That’s nice. Did you?”

“Still a stage I have yet to conquer. Can you see me?”

“Not yet. It’s pretty crowded. Is there an inflatable Santa near you?”

Namjoon turns slightly on the spot. “There’s a 3D Santa cut-out, if that’s what you’re referring to. There’s, like, three of them, though.” He bites back an unexpected chuckle when she swears under her breath. “Try to look for a banner with the directions to Santa’s Village.”

He can hear her stop in her tracks. “A banner? Everything’s written in Hangul, Joon. Oh, hang on, I think I see shoes - it might be Aldo…”

Namjoon nods wordlessly, trying to ignore his heart racing. He tries to look over the heads of the people on the street, hoping no one recognises him as he looks for Kaya - and spots her. She looks… exactly the same, or more beautiful than every single person in Gangnam put together. Probably both. 

He can hear her murmuring on the phone, trying to look for him as well, but he can barely make out what she’s saying. He’s reminded, inexplicably, of the last time he’d seen a similar sight: London, almost two years ago. They weren’t dating yet, and he’d waited for her by the entrance of his hotel as she arrived from the station. He’d spotted her just like this in the crowd, albeit much later in the night. The moment she’d seen him, her face had broken out into a happy smile, complete with Disney princess eyes, and he’d asked her flat out to be with him two minutes later.

It’s a bittersweet memory. Namjoon blinks rapidly a few times before clearing his throat. “I can see you,” he says, hearing how low his own voice is all of a sudden.  He raises his arm halfway. “I’m here. Right in front of you.”

He registers the moment Kaya sees him. Her mouth stops moving mid-word and she halts for a moment before exhaling slightly and giving him a small, polite smile. They lower their phones at the same time and Kaya continues walking towards him, dropping hers into the small sling bag hanging from her shoulder. He notices her gaze travel up and down his figure before lingering on his chest, and he’s suddenly glad he chose the turtleneck at the last minute.

“It’s cold,” she says when she finally reaches him, rubbing her hands together and shivering slightly. 

He nods, feeling his heart leap unnecessarily. “It’ll get colder,” he informs her. “You look nice,” he says after a moment.

“Thanks. So do you.”

There’s an awkward moment of silence before she exhales. “So this is the coffee place,” she states, looking up at the lit up cart, at the fairy lights, the menu written in both English and Korean - anywhere but him, he notes. 

“Oh - uh, yeah.” He shakes his head. “You should - we should order,” he stutters, fumbling with his wallet as he fishes it out. “Sorry, I know you probably weren’t expecting this, but I couldn’t decide -”

“No, no, it’s totally fine,” she says immediately, the silver hoops in her ears glinting as she shakes her head. “This is nice. I’ll have the hazelnut, I think,” she adds, retrieving her own wallet. “Uh, one hazelnut,” she repeats to the barista, enunciating a bit and holding up a finger before turning to Namjoon.

“Oh, right. One caramel macchiato,” he adds in Korean. He pulls out two bills and is about to place them on the counter when Kaya beats him to it. “Oh, I was going to -”

“That’s alright,” she interrupts, glancing up at him with a stiff smile as though to let him know it’s still good-natured. “I can pay for my own coffee.”

They don’t say much else until two steaming lattes are placed on the counter, smelling warm and cozy. They pick up their drinks, and Namjoon is suddenly faced with the consequences of choosing an establishment with no designated seating area.

“Um…” He looks around, starting to feel a bit silly, before looking back down at her and sighing. “Do you want to walk?” he asks finally.

She seems to have already expected this. With a glint of amusement in her eyes, she nods. “Sure.”

They begin strolling down the sidewalk in Gangnam square. The place is busy and most people are bundled up, meaning it’s one of those rare occasions when Namjoon is likely to make it through unrecognised. He tenses up for a moment when he thinks about the fact that he isn’t alone, but then remembers he has no business caring about that anymore.

“So… how’ve you been?” 

Namjoon looks up, wondering where to begin. He isn’t sure how much of his post break-up state is appropriate to reveal, and if she even wants to know. He can talk about work… but even that could be a delicate topic, given recent events. 

“Not great,” he says finally, surprised at his own honesty. “You?”

She shrugs, once again not meeting his eyes. “About the same.”

He bites his lip. The distance between them, while expected, feels awful - and wrong. Namjoon takes a brave step closer to her. “How did the seminar go? The second one was in October, right?”

Kaya pauses for a fraction of a second before nodding, and Namjoon knows she’s caught the deliberate tone in the question. He doesn’t regret it, though. Forgetting the first one was bad enough; the guilt that had washed over him when he’d realised he’d missed an academic milestone in her life had been one of the last straws for him. 

“It wasn’t bad,” she says, taking a small sip of her drink and cracking a smile. “Went better than the first one. But I got to design the lecture series at the end so I guess it worked out.”

“That’s great,” he replies, meaning it. She seems taller, the top of her head almost reaching his cheek. He looks down to see her boots, long and straight up her legs… swallowing, he looks away. “You didn’t sound so good about the - about the last one,” he adds quickly, wincing a moment later.

“Yeah. That one was… way worse.” Kaya doesn’t say anymore, taking another sip instead. “Coffee’s good.”

“Yeah. We got a bunch of these delivered to the studio about a week ago. Thought you might like it.”

“Right.” She nods. “How, uh, how is the studio? And the collabs?” she tacks on at the end.

Namjoon feels his stomach twist again, his eyes falling to his cup at the mention of what was probably the breaking point of their relationship. Hwasa, Sunmi and IU. In the aftermath of their break-up, it had become increasingly clear to him that this was the core of the issue and yet, it seemed like the one thing they avoided talking about.

Kaya seems to remember, too. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to make it weird,” she mutters. 

He shakes his head. “You didn’t. Don’t worry.”

She bites her lip. “I was genuinely asking. You were working pretty hard.”

I’m working hard, too. And not just at my job.

“They’re in post production now,” he answers as they turn into a quieter street. “Except for one. It came out last month.”

“Oh, really? That’s - that’s great. Must be doing well.”

“It’s doing fine. Just finished promoting it earlier this week.”

“So does that mean you have Christmas off?” Kaya raises her eyebrows. “Must be doing really well.”

Namjoon chuckles. “Yeah, I don’t want to jinx it. I’m going over to my parents’ house tomorrow night. I’ll probably stay there for a few days.”

Their coffees are almost done now; as the sky darkens, they throw their empty cups into a trash can by the sidewalk and continue walking. Namjoon shoves his hands into the pockets of his jacket, glad for the momentary warmth. 

“God, it’s colder than usual,” he mutters. “You know what it reminds me of, though?”

She looks up at him with the first genuine smile of the evening. “London?”

Fucking hell. “Yeah, exactly. Except there it was cold and wet.” He shudders. “I don’t know how you made it all the way from the station with a suitcase in that weather.”

Kaya shrugs. “It wasn’t so bad. The hot shower after really helped,” she adds absently.

It’s not super high up in the list of things Namjoon wants to be reminded of right now, the image of her in his shower. What’s up, boyfriend? she’d greeted him when she’d stepped out, wrapped in a towel, her wet hair swept over one shoulder. The memory makes him smile involuntarily.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” He straightens his face. “I read that Sean Scully was touring Europe again. Did you get to go?”

She sighs hugely and groans. “No, work piled up way too much. But, I found out he was going to be in Belgium and he was putting up some of his figurations on sale,” she says, shaking her head already, “and I started saving up - and I mean saving up. And two months later, the sale happened, and the painting was nowhere to be seen.”

“Wow. You know, some of his stuff is in the National Gallery here, too,” he says, pointing generically behind him. “We can - I mean, you should check it out… if you have time,” he adds lamely.

“Yeah, probably. I’ve been checking out more indie stuff lately, though - but, yeah, maybe.”

“Oh, is that why you were in Hongdae yesterday?”

“Yesterday? No, I was there to see a play.”

Namjoon frowns. “In English?”

“Nope.”

He bites his lip, trying not to laugh, but gives up a moment later. “Are you serious?”

“Shut up,” she mutters, looking adorably embarrassed and nudging him with her elbow. “Jae-lin wanted me to come along.”

Ah. “And there was no way you could say no to her,” he finishes in understanding.

“Exactly. Even the best of us have some weak spots.” She peers at something across from him on the other side of the street. “Hey, is that an ATM?” She stops and looks up at him. “Do you mind? I just need to -”

“No, go ahead. I’ll grab a bottle of water.” He watches her jog across the empty street and enter the vestibule before he ducks into the convenience store behind him. It’s easier than he’d expected, being around her - except for the part where he wishes he could forget for a moment that they aren’t together anymore.

As he wordlessly passes the bottle to the cashier, he wonders for what feels like the millionth time in the last three months if this was the right decision. It had felt like it at the time. The snapping and the fighting was becoming more frequent than before, but at least that was mutual. Disappointing her each time was too much, though, and before he knew it, he was doing the one thing to ensure he didn’t hurt her anymore.

“Thank you,” he mutters to the shopkeeper and exits the shop. The cold air hits him again and it feels as though the sky has gotten several shades darker in the last few minutes. His eyes go straight to the ATM, noting two or three more people apparently in line, before he spots Kaya among them. Her uncertain expression, ducked head and hunched shoulders tell him everything he needs to know, and all thoughts of their break-up disappear in an instant.

Striding over, Namjoon registers three other men, two behind her, seemingly chuckling at something the third is saying to Kaya. It’s clear she isn’t able to understand him, but his proximity to her is enough for Namjoon to automatically feel his pulse race in annoyance.

“Which - country?” The third guy says in English, louder and more deliberate. Before Kaya can answer, Namjoon reaches over and wraps his hand around her wrist, gently tugging her out of there. The relief in her face is brief but evident, and she immediately falls into step beside him as they walk away.

“You alright?” he asks in a low voice, dropping her wrist but staying close to her. “Do you have your wallet and everything?”

She nods and exhales, her arm brushing his shoulder. “Yeah,” she murmurs, her voice shaking slightly. “Thanks.” She doesn’t move away from him, not until they turn into a busier street. It’s more brightly lit, with Christmas decorations and fake snow everywhere, and Namjoon can’t help but feel sorry when she finally takes a step to her right and the familiar scent of coconut and vanilla disappears.

They don’t speak again for a while but unlike when they’d initially met at the coffee cart, Namjoon doesn’t feel pressured to make conversation. Some kind of ice between them seems to have broken and he suddenly feels a lot more secure in the fact that she’s here with him, that they’re here together.

“Oh, my God!” Kaya gasps suddenly, halting in her tracks and clutching his arm, and for a moment Namjoon thinks the creepy men are back.

“What?” he asks hurriedly, looking around and automatically stepping closer to her.

She doesn’t seem to notice. “What - the hell - is that?” she stutters, pointing shakily at something in front of her. Namjoon follows her finger, expecting danger, only to find something even more terrifying.

“Oh,” he exhales, running a hand through his hair awkwardly. He wracks his brain for an appropriate explanation but soon gives. “That’s… yeah, that’s a cardboard cut-out of Taehyung.”

Kaya looks up at him incredulously. “It - what?” She turns back to the six foot tall cut-out of Taehyung in a suit, smirking and making a finger heart, before she looks behind it to see the rest of it. 

“Okay, Namjoon, there’s no easy way to ask this,” she begins, taking a step back, “but why is there a shrine to Taehyung in the middle of Seoul?”

Namjoon chuckles, a little embarrassed. “It’s his birthday in a week, so… they do this every year. Birthdays are a big deal around here,” he adds, following her as she gingerly continues down the aforementioned shrine.

“No, I get that,” she says slowly, lightly touching a fringe of sparkly streamers bordering a photo booth. “This is just…” She trails off, looking up at the fake snow and candy canes decorating a line of photo cards and smaller cardboard cut-outs.

“A lot, I know.”

“Kind of sweet,” she finishes. “You know, once you get used to it.” She stops at a wall-sized poster of the entire group, a shot from their last concert in the summer. Namjoon isn’t sure, but he thinks her gaze is lingering on him in the corner, hair a lighter blond than it is now.

My man looks so fucking sexy in a suit.

“What about you?”

It takes Namjoon a moment to focus. “Uh, what about me?”

“Does this happen for everyone’s birthday?” She raises her eyebrows playfully. “Was there a life-size Kim Namjoon here, too?”

“God, no,” he says, shuddering a bit. “Although there is a graffiti drawing of my face back in Ilsan. It’s actually pretty good!” he exclaims when she laughs, feeling his cheeks grow warm. “I’ve only seen pictures, anyway. I guess I’ll see it when I go back tomorrow.”

“Spend some good old quality time with it?”

“Not that much time. Our schedule starts on the…” He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to recall. “Twenty-eighth, I think. Need to double check that.” He opens his eyes to see Kaya frowning.

“You’re working on New Year’s?”

“Yeah,” he says, shrugging. “New Year’s Eve special in New York. Holidays, birthdays… doesn’t really matter,” he adds, hearing a note of bitterness in his own voice. He stops by a pop-up stall. “Honestly, it’s a miracle we got Christmas off.”

Kaya stops beside him, facing him slightly. “I’m sorry,” she says after a moment. “About your birthday. I didn’t forget,” she clarifies when he looks up. “I thought about texting or something, but… it was just too soon.”

Namjoon nods, feeling his heart clench a little. That hadn’t been a good day. “I get it. It was less than a week after… everything.”

“Yeah. Didn’t think you’d be working, though.”

“I didn’t mind. Kept me occupied.”

She bites her lip, glancing over at the collectibles. Namjoon watches her, recalling with a heavy heart just how much he’d been hoping she’d call. It hadn’t been fair to expect it, given that he’d ended things just a few days prior. He’d tried to do it as amicably as possible, tried to reassure her that it had nothing to do with how he felt - it was just a consequence of their situation. Long time coming, he’d said. Despite that, he’d kept his phone on all day, hoping that at least special events would mean he could hear her voice again. 

“I did… wait,” he confesses after a moment. “I thought we ended on good terms.”

Kaya exhales, and he can see her defenses go up. “We did. That’s why we’re here right now.”

“Three months later.”

“Yeah, well. I needed time to process it,” she counters, folding her arms across her chest. “You really caught me off guard.”

Namjoon lowers his head, unsurprised at her astute observation. He had caught her off guard - and not accidentally. He can still remember the rain in the background, the sound of the people around her as he revealed what he’d been thinking for a few days by then. Most of all, he can remember how confused she’d sounded. That had been the worst part: her confusion. Sadness, anger, denial; he would’ve chosen all of them over her uncertainty, how she’d taken a few minutes to realise what he was proposing, by which time it was too late to argue.

“I wouldn’t have been able to go through it otherwise,” he confesses quietly.

After what seems like several minutes, Kaya sighs. “Well. In the spirit of processing things,” she begins, and he looks up to see her reaching for one of the small stuffed toys on the cart, “a belated happy birthday.” She hands it to him.

“Thanks. And thank you for…” He looks down at the toy and back up at her. “... for this stuffed doll of Taehyung?”

“A stuffed doll of Taehyung holding a wreath,” she points out, jabbing a finger at the plastic decoration. “And wearing a Santa hat.”

“Wow. This is, uh…” He looks back at the doll, stitched down to immaculate detail. “... so terrifying.”

Kaya laughs. “What are you talking about? He’s a good-looking kid.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want a voodoo doll of him staring at me while I’m, like, changing or something.”

“Well, that’s your punishment for breaking up with me while I was running late to class,” she says lightly, already handing cash to the shopkeeper.

“Fair enough,” he mutters, stuffing the silly doll deep into the pocket of his jacket as they begin walking away.

“So?” she continues as they stroll down the street. “How are the other guys?”

“Good, mostly. Pretty tired.” 

“And your parents? Your family and everyone?”

“Also good.” He pauses. “My mom asked about you.”

“She did?” Kaya sounds surprised.

“Yeah,” he answers, nodding. “Nothing specific. Just how you were doing and stuff.”

She’s quiet for a moment, hands tucked into her elbows. “You didn’t tell her?”

“Not yet.” Namjoon bites his lip, realising only at this moment, that it’s because he was hoping he wouldn’t have to at all. “Guess I’ll have to, soon enough.”

“Believe it or not, it was hard to tell my mom, too.” She squeezes his forearm sympathetically. “Although, if I’m being honest, the hardest person to break it to was Jae-lin,” she adds.

He snickers. “Really?”

“Yup. And not to pressure you or anything, but she’s expecting some seriously deep music to drop soon.”

His heart jolts uncomfortably. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

When he says no more, he notices Kaya give him a curious sideways glance. “And speaking of my sixteen year old cousin’s obsessions,” she begins, the forced upward lilt in her voice evident, “what about Taehyung and Dilara Komyshan?”

“Oh, who knows with them,” he replies absently, stretching out his neck before looking back down to see her raised eyebrows. “No, they’re dating now. Officially.”

“Wow. Score. For Tae, I mean,” she clarifies.

“I agree. They went on some trip or something recently.”

“Ah, the honeymoon phase,” she says knowingly, shaking her head. “Children.”

“He’s happy now. And I mean too happy,” grumbles Namjoon. “He’s smiling into his phone all the time like an idiot; I swear, he looks high.”

Kaya snorts. “Wow, single people really are bitter.” When he doesn’t respond, she looks up, biting her lip awkwardly. “Too weird?”

He winces theatrically. “A little bit.”

She chuckles. “Sorry.” 

They stop at a traffic light, waiting to cross the street. The sky is dark now, but the area has never looked more lively. Namjoon is suddenly glad he asked her to meet today; the closer Seoul gets to Christmas, the prettier it looks.

Which reminds him.

He glances at her beside him; they’re both standing tilted towards each other, almost automatically. To anyone else, it might look like they’re midway in conversation. 

“By the way,” he begins, shifting to face her. She does the same, her silver hoops catching the light again. Namjoon pauses; there’s a certain science to this, a certain combination of elements that will get him the reaction he wants - or at least the one he’s hoping for.

“Yeah?”

Hands deep in his pockets, he lowers his head slightly to look her in the eyes. Disney princess eyes. His blond hair falls onto his forehead and he gives her a small smile, just enough for a dimple to appear. His gaze drops to her mouth before meeting her eyes again. 

“You look really pretty,” he says, meaning it, hearing his voice low and deep. The flicker in her eyes makes his heart race, but he holds it, waiting for her response. 

“Thanks. You look…” Kaya swallows visibly and her gaze falls, lingering near his chest for a moment. Thank God for the damn turtleneck. Namjoon is almost anxious at how she’ll finish her sentence.

“... really pretty, too.”

“Huh.” He nods. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” She pauses, clearly awkward. “The blond suits you,” she adds, reaching up as if to touch his hair but stopping herself at the last moment.

“Yeah, it’s, uh… the stylists like it,” he replies lamely, running his fingers through his long hair.

“They’re doing a good job, I guess. You’re looking thinner,” she murmurs, her eyes on his chest and shoulders before they dart up to him. “Not in a bad way,” she says quickly. “Or - or a good way. I was just… it was just an observation.” She shakes her head. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“It’s okay,” he says simply, placing a light hand on her back as they cross the road. “I haven’t had a lot of time to hit the gym lately. I’ve lost a bit of muscle mass. What about you?” he asks after a moment, feeling his gaze drop to her hips as she walks a step ahead of him, before averting them with an effort.

She turns around and waits for him to catch up, raising her eyebrows. “Am I losing muscle mass?”

“No, are you… you know. Taking care of yourself and everything,” he clarifies. “Eating well, locking your door… that stuff.”

She laughs without humour. “Remember when I told you I was saving up for that Sean Scully painting? Yeah, that means two whole months of nothing but instant noodles.”

Namjoon stares at her, unamused, until she looks up at him. “Are you serious right now?”

Kaya raises her eyebrows. “Are you? Do you seriously think you get to lecture me on a healthy diet?”

“God, I hate it when you have a point.”

“Which is often,” she says fairly, nudging his shoulder playfully. She looks around then, frowning slightly. “Wait, I thought we were going to your car. How far away did you park it?”

“Not that far, actually. There’s a shorter route through the alleys inside,” he explains. “I just thought you might… feel safer this way. Out in the open.”

He wonders for a moment if he’s made it weird again, for he can’t decipher Kaya’s expression. She licks her lips and looks at the ground, but before he can begin getting anxious about it, she looks up.

“I always feel safe with you,” she says calmly, gesturing for him to start walking again.

As he falls into step beside her, Namjoon feels, for the first time all evening, as though he finally knows what he wants. He sees her hand by her side as she walks, half-covered by the sleeve of her dark striped sweater, her nails painted black. 

He imagines what it would be like to hold it; lightly at first, fingers grazing her palm before linking their fingers together. Holding it tight then, tugging her closer to him, feeling her long hair brush his chest… for a moment, Namjoon feels like crying.

“Wow, I didn’t realise how hungry I was.” 

Kaya breaks him out of his reverie, and he looks up to see her peering at a passing tteokbeoki stall. 

“Do you want to get some?” he asks, although he can’t imagine eating anything right now.

She waves her hand. “No, I’m good. Ji-eun’s making dinner and she’ll kill me if I ruin it.”

“Yeah? What’s she making?”

“Not sure. Something with noodles.”

Namjoon laughs. “Sounds about right. She may have grown up in America but she’s Korean at heart.”

“Completely.” Kaya shivers as a cold wind blows. “And Korean by blood, clearly, because there is no way winters back home were this cold.”

“Yeah, the winds are a bit harsh,” he acknowledges fairly. “Why did you decide to visit in the winter anyway? There’s a reason tourism is at an all-time low this time of the year.”

“Oh… my mom wanted to visit. Said she wanted to spend Christmas with family.”

There’s something off in Kaya’s tone, but Namjoon doesn’t want to pry. Not too blatantly, at least.

“Don’t you usually go to Connecticut to spend Christmas with her?” he asks.

“Yeah.” She nods, falling quiet for a few seconds. “She’s dating this guy,” she blurts out. “And they’ve been going out for a few months and it sounded like everything was fine, but I think - and I’m pretty sure I’m right - that he asked her to spend Christmas with his family. And it freaked her out,” she finishes, breathing slightly heavily.

Namjoon doesn’t say anything for a moment. From the way the words tumbled out of her mouth, it’s clear she’s been waiting to talk about it.

“Is it the dating part?” he asks gently.

“No,” she mumbles, looking at the ground as she steps within the tiles. “My dad’s been gone ten years, you know? I’m glad she’s dating. But when she does things like this, I know it’s because she’s scared. And I just wish she wasn’t.”

He frowns. “Did she actually tell you about him asking her to come over for Christmas?”

She opens her mouth but deflates. “Not exactly,” she admits. “But I know I’m right. The way she sounded, the words she used - she was avoiding talking about it.”

Like mother, like daughter. “Why don’t you just ask her?” he suggests. “You and your mom are close, aren’t you?”

She bites her lip and shakes her head. “I can’t tell her what to do. It’s not up to me to tell her how to move on from her dead husband.”

Namjoon touches her elbow, wishing he could do so much more. “I didn’t say to tell her anything. I said you could ask her. She knows you just want her to be happy, right?”

Kaya swallows, stopping as the parking lot comes into sight. “And then what? We talk about it? Because I’m such an expert on how to be happy?”

There’s a moment of heartbreaking silence before she looks up and blinks. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all this on you.”

He frowns. “It’s okay -“

“No, it’s not. This isn’t your problem anymore, and we don’t -“

“Kaya.” He gives her a look when she stops talking abruptly. “You know, I didn’t intend for… this to mean that we cut each other out of our lives. You can still talk to me,” he says earnestly. He sighs and looks at his feet. “I know there are still things that I can't talk about with anyone but you,” he admits quietly.

He watches her expression change from confusion to curiosity, and then to a kind of concern. Her shoulder makes a movement and he wonders wildly, hopefully, if she meant to reach for him.

“Like what?” she asks softly.

Now that she’s asked, the words seem impossible to say. Namjoon looks down at his hands, feeling months worth of anxiety creep in again.

“I think I’m losing my touch,” he says finally, still not looking up at her. “With songwriting, producing… everything. I’m not… I can’t…” He trails off, wincing in irritation as he struggles to recall English words for his exact emotions. “I can’t write anymore. And the more I can’t… the more I have no idea who I am anymore.”

From the corner of his eye, he sees Kaya watching him closely, her forehead in a frown. “Why?”

“I don’t know. The words just aren’t coming. The music… I can’t hear it in my head the same -“

“No, I meant,” she interrupts him, and gives him an apologetic look when he meets her eyes again. “I meant… why don’t you know who you are anymore?”

“Because if I’m in the studio for hours and hours and I can’t actually… produce anything, or create anything, then what the hell am I doing in there?” If I’m in the studio for hours and hours, what does it all matter if I don’t have you?

“Joon…” She takes a step closer to him. “You’re… it’s recency bias. You’ve been producing great stuff all year. Didn’t BTS just win, like, five awards at the MAMAs?”

“Yeah, but not for anything I wrote,” he counters immediately. “And that’s fine. We always win for the popular hits, and that’s fine with me. I just… I can’t write anymore,” he says in a small voice. “The words aren’t coming.”

Her eyes flicker, as though searching for the right words. He knows it’s far out of left field for her, that a lot of his work is something she can’t contribute a lot to, choosing to primarily listen. 

“Well…” She sounds a bit uncertain. “What did you write about before?”

He shrugs, looking away. “Just stuff. Things that made me happy, things that made me sad.”

“And you don’t have those things anymore?”

Namjoon doesn’t know how much clearer he can make it without risking losing even the last remaining fragments of her in his life. “Not the ones that make me happy,” he states, meeting her gaze.

Somewhere, a Christmas carol begins on a loudspeaker, sleigh bells in the background. Bright lights flicker on, jerking them out of their conversation.

Kaya takes a step back, exhaling shakily. “It’s getting colder,” she mutters. “Is that your car?” she asks, tilting her head towards something behind him. Before he can answer, she begins walking over.

Namjoon follows her slowly, knowing their conversation is over. He waits until he’s a few feet away from the car to open it. She doesn’t enter immediately, though; looking up at him from across the bonnet of his Mercedes, she gives him a small, sad sort of smile.

“I’m glad you messaged me yesterday,” she says softly.

“So am I.” He swallows, his heart sinking at the realisation that their evening is at an end, whether he wants it to be or not. “Come on. Let’s get you home before Jieun kills you.”

—

“And he crosses the finish line,” murmurs Kaya in humour as Namjoon slowly pulls into Jieun’s driveway before stopping the car. There’s teasing in her tone, but also a hint of pride, for he really has come a long way since she’d first started teaching him how to drive two years ago.

He doesn’t look at her, though, choosing to stare out of the windshield with a pensive look on his face - the same one he’s had for the entire drive.

Kaya deflates slightly. “Thanks for the ride.”

“How could I have let you go?” 

It’s a whisper, but on a quiet street and inside a crowded car, it feels like he’s shouted it from the rooftops. Kaya says nothing, choosing to stare at her lap instead, for she isn’t altogether surprised. The way he’d begun looking at her as the evening progressed, eyes softer and warmer with each minute, some of the things he’d said; the poet in him might have thought he was being subtle, but Kaya knew him well enough to know where his mind was at.

Namjoon, meanwhile, is still in the midst of his crisis. “How - how could I have thought that was the right decision? How could you have let me?”

She bristles. “What?”

“No, I’m - I’m not… I’m not actually blaming you,” he stutters, glancing briefly at her, as though just remembering he’s not alone. “I just can’t believe…” He sighs, running a hand over his face. “God, I fucked up.”

When she’d gotten the call three months ago, her first emotion had been surprise. It had been a long time since Namjoon had called her, despite his best efforts to. Their conversations had turned terse and short, with more passive aggressive statements going back and forth than actual talk about their lives. 

It had been a busy day and Kaya already had a lot on her mind, so when he’d broken up with her with barely any warning during a busy evening on campus, she’d been furious. Not at first; no, at first she’d been confused, then in denial, then in class, then busy - very busy - until something had finally forced her to face the fact that she’d been dumped over the phone by the love of her life.

He’d said many things, the first being that he loved her. He missed her, cared about her, and hated being a dick to her - so he wasn’t going to do it anymore. Throughout, through all the sadness and heartbreak, her anger at how he’d deliberately chosen a Wednesday evening in Amsterdam time to break up with her was the worst, because he’d more or less ensured that she wouldn’t be able to argue back.

I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it otherwise.

It’s probably true, and Kaya remembers being annoyed by it even a couple of hours ago. Now, though, surprisingly, she finds herself wanting to comfort him.

“Namjoon -”

“No, you know what?” He interrupts her. “I know I was wrong. I know I was too busy and I wasn’t making the time, and I was taking out my stress on you, but -” He shakes his head, and she realises he’s glaring at her. “You weren’t being honest about what was really bothering you.”

She raises her eyebrows. “I - what?”

He gives her a look, indicating he isn’t fooled. “You know what I’m talking about, Kaya.”

“No, I don’t. And… we don’t need to talk about this,” she mutters hurriedly, unbuckling her seatbelt when he grabs her wrist.

“Wait, come on,” he says quickly, stopping her. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to start a fight. Or maybe I am,” he says after a moment. “If that’s what it’ll take to finally talk about this.”

Kaya hesitates. “You talk about this stuff when you’re together,” she reminds him in a low voice. “And we’re not together.”

“I know.” He gives her a long look, almost pleading, before speaking again, slower and more deliberate. “I’m saying… I want to talk about it.”

“Fine,” she says finally, sitting back in her seat. “Go ahead.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Me?”

“Yes. You’re the one who wants to talk about it.”

“No, I want you to admit what was really bothering you,” he corrects her, giving her a knowing look.

She frowns, puzzled, even as her heart begins to race uncomfortably. “What are you talking about? We were apart, there was distance… wasn’t that the whole problem?”

“That’s a pretty macro way to look at it.” When she gives him a look, he nods, satisfied. “That’s right. I didn’t date an Economics research student for a year and half and not learn a few words along the way.”

Kaya’s mouth twists as she tries to suppress a smile. “No way. You’re not allowed to make me laugh right now.” When he raises his hands in apology and gestures for her to continue, his dimple still faintly visible, she sighs. “Fine. It was… it felt like it was waiting for the other shoe to drop, okay? Long distance is always hard, and we made it last for a really long time.” She shakes her head forlornly. “It was like watching a tornado approach. I guess I just wanted to spare myself the pain of a long, gruesome… demise of a relationship.” 

Namjoon folds his arms across his chest. “You’re lying.”

Her eyes widen. “What? What are you - how dare you -”

“Kaya, don’t fuck with me, alright? I can read between the lines - I basically already know what it is, so why don’t you just admit it?”

“I am,” she exclaims defiantly. “I was afraid, we weren’t talking, we were drifting apart - what else is there?”

“Why were you afraid?”

“Why is anyone ever afraid in a relationship, Namjoon?”

“No, why were you afraid - and why did it come up only when I started working on my collabs?”

“Because I was afraid you were going to cheat on me!” Kaya huffs and sinks back into her seat, glaring out the window as she feels the corners of her eyes prickling at the memory. 

Neither of them speaks for a few moments. It feels like the invisible wall that’s existed between them all evening has finally been broken down, wrecking ball and all, to leave a pile of cold, hard truths.

“Why didn’t you say something?” he asks finally. He doesn’t sound satisfied; on the contrary, he sounds almost disappointed. It breaks her heart just a little.

“Because it’s humiliating to admit that,” she mutters, still not looking at him. “Because if there was one thing that made us work, it was that neither of us was clingy. But if I started acting insecure just because you were suddenly working long hours with beautiful women, then -” She shrugs, feeling ridiculous. “I was officially a clingy girlfriend.”

“Clingy? Kaya, you’re as far from clingy as a partner can be. We both are - we work crazy hours, we’ve gone days without talking and it never mattered. I could never think you’re a clingy girlfriend. And I would never cheat on you,” he adds firmly. 

Something settles in Kaya’s chest. “You know, that’s all I needed to hear?” she says, finally looking up at him. He looks almost wounded, his blond bangs thick and falling onto his forehead. “I didn’t actually think you would go ahead and - and have an affair or anything. I just needed that reassurance - I would’ve believed you in a second. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I wasn’t sure – but I suspected it. And honestly, I was a little insulted,” he adds sullenly, “because I didn’t think I’d ever given you a reason to doubt me.”

The truth of that statement is too painful, enough to make Kaya fall silent. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs abashedly. “I was too proud to say it. It’s just… these things happen. When there’s distance and stress and - and then there’s physical distance… it’s not outlandish to think something could happen. I don’t know how it works with celebrities,” she adds, shrugging heavily. “I just know I see a different story on Just Jared every other day and… well, we’ve already established that I was afraid,” she finishes, not knowing what else to say. “I was being crazy.”

She can feel Namjoon’s gaze on her, but she doesn’t look up until he sighs and touches her hand.

“You weren’t being crazy. I mean, I thought you were,” he amends, giving her a momentary smile, “but… okay, after we broke up, I was in the studio with Sunmi, right? And I must have looked like hell because she asked me if I’d had a fight with my girlfriend. It was too hard to correct her, so I - I didn’t,” he admits, wincing slightly.

“Anyway… then, out of the blue, she told me she had a boyfriend. And then a minute after that, she told me wasn’t bragging, but she was making it clear that nothing could happen between us. And then I was, like, what? and she said that in her experience, whenever two people had problems with their partners, they ended up hooking up. And she had no intention of doing so with me while we were both in committed relationships,” he finishes, shaking his head a bit. “So, no. You weren’t crazy.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

Kaya picks at a loose thread on her black jeans. It’s cathartic for all this to finally come out, but she can’t help but feel as though it’s only given their separation a kind of finality. Now that you’ve talked about it, you can move on in peace.

“I really missed you,” she murmurs, not looking at him. “And it felt like you didn’t, not as much. It seemed like the first time we weren’t in sync, you know?” She shrugs, her throat starting to tighten. “It scared me.”

“Kaya, you have no idea how much I missed you,” says Namjoon heavily. He doesn’t say the next bit, but it seems like a logical completion.

“God. Imagine if we’d just had this conversation back then,” he laments, running a tired hand through his hair. 

“Yeah. You can cut yourself some slack, though,” she adds, glancing up at him meekly. “We both fucked up.”

Namjoon nods, giving her that same longing look that he’d begun when they’d entered Santa’s Village in Gangnam, before looking away. 

“Have you… you know. Moved on?” he ventures, giving her a sideways glance.

She shrugs. “Define moved on.”

“You know. Are you - are you dating anyone?”

Am I ever. “Well,” she begins, taking note of how his shoulders stiffen next to her, “there was this grad student who tried to kiss me in the library, after which I ran away and cried for half an hour in the girls’ bathroom.” She raises her eyebrows. “Does that count?”

Namjoon’s head darts around to look at her. “He did what? Are you okay? Are you - did he hurt you?”

“What? No, no - it wasn’t like that,” she says immediately, shaking her head. “It was the day after you broke up with me and I hadn’t quite had the time to… deal with it yet,” she explains, giving him a reproachful look. “And I guess I’d mentioned sometime offhandedly that I was single, which he seemed to take as permission to try something and… then I told him to get lost.”

Dude, I have a boyfriend! had been her exact words to him, once she’d pushed him away and wiped her mouth in horror. 

No, you don’t! he’d retorted, a lanky, brown-haired guy with glasses, sounding more confused than anything. 

It had taken someone else to yell it at her for it to sink in, deeply, hurtfully, all the way down at the bottom of her stomach that she, indeed, did not have a boyfriend anymore, that Kim Namjoon was no longer hers - and everyone knew it.

“Why - why did you cry?” Namjoon asks, a note of concern audible.

“Because it felt weird, kissing someone else,” she admits, unable to look at him. “Felt wrong. Like I was cheating on you. What about you?” she asks after a moment. “Have you moved on?”

Namjoon gives her a look. “Does it look like I’ve moved on?”

“Uh-uh. This is not a topic where you can give me a cryptic answer like that.”

He sighs hugely. “No, Kaya, I haven’t,” he clarifies, almost indulgently. “It’s going to take a lot more than three months to move on from you.”

She tries to ignore how her heart zooms at his words, but it’s impossible. Clenching her jaw to keep from smiling, she takes a deep breath. “Wow, we were really late having this conversation,” she echoes his previous remark.

There’s a pregnant pause, with a world of possibilities visible in a single second.

“It doesn’t have to be,” murmurs Namjoon, and the hope in his voice makes her heart skip a beat. He waits for her to look at her. “What do you think? Can we give this another shot, baby?”

Screw you, Kim Namjoon. Kaya hates and loves in equal measure just how well he knows the right words to say to her. Her stomach flutters - butterflies, probably - while a warmth seems to course through her entire body, down to the tips of her fingers.

His face is inches away from hers. In the darkness of the car, with only the Christmas lights from Jieun’s house being the lone bright spot, and she tries to recall the last time he’d ever kissed her.

“I think…” She trails off, unable to think straight with how intensely he’s watching her. She tries again. “I think… I can’t have this conversation with that creepy doll staring at me.”

When Namjoon glances in confusion at the Taehyung doll they’d propped up on the dashboard before they’d begun driving, Kaya uses the opportunity to open her car door and step out. She hears him chuckle before following suit, and goes around the front of the car to join him by the driver’s side where he’s leaning against the door.

“Told you it was a creepy-ass doll.”

“And you were right.” Kaya stops in front of him and almost wishes she’d risked staying inside with the stupid doll. Tall and broad-shouldered, he suddenly takes her breath away. Maybe it’s the black turtleneck and grey jacket combination, maybe it’s the blond hair falling into his eyes and brushing the top of his collar, maybe it’s the familiar, woodsy cologne that she’s only noticed now that they’re out of the car. Either way, she can’t speak for a moment.

“So?” He raises his eyebrows, looking earnest and hopeful and heartbreakingly handsome all at once. “Do you think we can try this again?”

She shivers. “I…” It’s getting harder to breathe, and not just because of how he looks. This is so much more complicated than he’s making it sound. “I think.. we should sleep on it.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows, apparently processing her answer.

She tries not to hurry her next words. “Look, I know we got all our issues out right now, but… our problems, they’re not going to go away. It’s still going to be the long distance thing, we’ll still have rough patches because of work… and I don’t think I can go through this break-up again.”

He frowns at the ground. “Why do you think we’ll break up again?” he asks, and she can tell he’s working to keep his tone neutral.

“Because making up this time isn’t going to last,” she says softly. He drags his gaze to look up at her then, and she can tell that he knows she’s right. “I just think… I think if we’re going to think about getting back together, we need to have some kind of view on - on what’s going to happen.” She swallows, wondering if he’s caught on to her hesitance to say the word. “Our situation… there’s a lot to think about. And I’m not just talking about the long distance.”

After what feels like an eternity, he nods. “That’s fair,” he says, but she thinks she can sense an undertone of disappointment. “It was just easy to forget, you know?” He shrugs and drops his gaze.

“I know.” And she did. She’d been starting to forget as well; it was too natural to fall into old habits. The way he’d rescued her from the guys at the ATM, the way she’d offered him the chocolate candy that came with her coffee without thinking, how he’d pulled her behind him when he thought he’d noticed someone pointing their phone at him; each of those moments had felt like déjà vu, except totally and completely real.

“That’s what made us kind of great,” she points out after a moment, wrapping her jacket tightly around her. “We always kept each other grounded.”

“So we’re sleeping on it?” Namjoon asks after a moment, looking up.

Kaya nods. “Yeah. Just so we’re sure.”

“I’m leaving for Ilsan tomorrow,” he reminds her.

“Good. That gives us a deadline.” 

“Right.” Namjoon exhales. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow, then.” He turns to open the door behind him when something grips at her heart.

“Wait, um -“ She breaks off, turning to glance at the house for a moment. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

As expected, he shakes his head. “Oh, I - I couldn’t. But thanks.”

“I’m serious. Jieun always makes a ton of food.”

“Yeah, but…” Namjoon looks unsure. “I don’t think I’ll be welcome, right? Your ex-boyfriend… having dinner with your family?”

Kaya has never hated that word more, but she rallies. “I’m inviting you,” she points out. “And no one is going to make you feel unwelcome, I promise. They all love you. Please?” she appeals again. “I… I don’t want the evening to be over just yet.”

That seems to do the trick. Namjoon tilts his head the same way he always does when he wants to give her something but is prevented from it. “I - are you sure? You’re really close with your aunt. And your cousin.”

“Jieun’s always liked you. And believe me, with Jae-lin there, I’ll only be the second happiest person in that house if you join,” she informs him, rolling her eyes. He chuckles and her heart flutters at the sight of his dimple. “My mom’s inside. You should say hi.”

After a moment, he nods. “Okay. Let’s go,” he says, taking a step towards her, his hand gently hovering over her back as they make their way to the house. “I really do think you should ask Jieun, though. Just in case.”

“Jesus, don’t worry…”

“No, but what if she actually says no…”

—

Jieun doesn’t say no. In fact, Kaya’s aunt, more like a sister to her than her actual cousin sister, seems only mildly surprised but tells him he’s welcome. Her husband Jack seems not to notice anything strange at all, while Jae-lin seems absolutely thrilled that Namjoon is back.

“Oh, no, not - not exactly,” Kaya had said when Jae-lin had asked, point blank, if they were back together. There had been no further explanation, and her cousin had been enlisted to set the table and minimise the awkwardness.

“Sorry,” she’d muttered to Namjoon as they reached the dining table, looking up to see him both relieved and amused.

“Don’t worry about it,” he’d replied softly, reaching out behind her to pull out a chair and taking the one next to her. All through dinner, it felt as though nothing had changed, really. Jieun seemed to be enjoying some private joke as she watched them, sharing knowing looks with Kaya’s mother across the table, while Jae-line monopolised Namjoon completely, chattering away in Korean with no attention to anyone else.

Namjoon, ever the gentleman, engaged her fully; there wasn’t a moment where he tried to stop the conversation, his arm on the back of Kaya’s chair the entire time. Kaya stayed in conversation with Jack and her mother as much as she could, hoping that they wouldn’t allude to the situation at all.

Meeting her mother’s gaze was the hardest - not because Kaya was afraid she would disapprove, but because of how openly happy she looked. 

“Mom, we’re not back together yet,” she’d murmured halfway through dinner, when her mother had given her yet another glowing, knowing, mom look.

“I know,” she’d replied, glancing at Namjoon over Kaya’s shoulder, “but you want to be.”

Did she? Kaya didn’t know. She was sure what she felt for him, even what he possibly felt for her. She knew they were happy with each other, understood each other, had an unimaginable amount of affection for each other. 

But she didn’t know if she could do this again. As she sat next to Namjoon, feeling their shoulders brush occasionally and hearing his deep laugh next to her, she knew that “sleeping on it” would be far easier said than done.

“Thank you for dinner,” he says an hour later, bowing slightly to Jieun, Jack and her mother. “I had a great time.”

“I’ll walk you out,” says Kaya quickly, already turning towards the door, when Jae-lin pipes up.

“Oh, I’ll come, too!” she volunteers excitedly in English, and before anyone can say anything, sweeps by them and opens the front door. 

A moment of silence follows before Namjoon speaks. “Sure, lead the way,” he says, smiling at her and squeezing Kaya’s hand apologetically. It’s the only thing that keeps Kaya from saying anything, even as the three of them exit the house into the cold night.

She trails behind them, arms folded across her chest, as she listens to them converse in Korean again. For all she knows, Jae-lin has just resumed their conversation from dinner, the words blending into each other for Kaya. With Korean-American parents, Jae-lin speaks both Korean and English with ease. Right now, though, Kaya wishes she would just stop speaking.

“Wow, what a sexy car,” says Jae-lin in wonder, running her hand on the smooth metal of the bonnet. She looks up to see Kaya glaring at her with a hand on her hip. “What?” she asks defensively. “We all use that word, unnie.”

Kaya stares at her. “Hey, Jae? Can you give us a minute?”

Jae-lin’s eyes flit between her cousin and Namjoon before they widen suddenly, as though she’s just realising she might be interrupting. “Oh! Yes, of course! I - uh, good night, Namjoon oppa,” she adds hastily and hurries away. 

Kaya watches her until she enters the house before turning around to face Namjoon. “God, what a nightmare,” she mutters, rolling her eyes when he guffaws. “Shut up.”

“You shut up. You love her,” he says easily, still grinning.

“And you’re a saint.”

“Yeah, because you love her.” He leans back against his car again, the same way he was before. “And not to take a leaf out of Jae-lin’s book, but you looked really sexy being all strict with her.”

Kaya raises her eyebrows, feeling an old, familiar stirring in her abdomen. “Really?”

His smile gets wider. “Uh-huh.”

“I guess it’s a good quality for someone who’s working to be a professor one day.”

“Uh-uh. With a bunch of horny college students? They aren’t going to hear a word you say if you look at them like that,” he argues, taking a step closer to her.

The stirring passes from her abdomen to between her legs in an instant. “Okay, no. No flirting tonight,” she mutters, placing a hand on his chest and pushing him away. “Not when we’re in this… limbo.”

His jaw drops teasingly. “No flirting at all?”

“No. It’s supposed to be a serious night, to think. With the… thinking. And stuff.”

“Good call on those three glasses of wine during dinner.”

She sighs and drops her head in her hands. “I was nervous. But I’m okay, really,” she insists honestly, straightening up as he gently pries her hands away from her face.

Namjoon doesn’t say anything, just smiles at her fondly, his hands in the pockets of his jacket. It tugs at her heart, how transparent he’s being with his feelings. She’d seen it earlier in the evening, too, when they’d been navigating the market square to locate his car.

They’d stopped to open the map on his phone and Kaya had moved closer to him to be able to see the screen. All of a sudden, she’d heard him say something in Korean and looked up to see him smiling at an older couple who were walking away. Just before they disappeared from sight, the man had caught her eye and pointed upward. Slightly confused, she’d tilted her head up to see a sprig of mistletoe hanging from the wooden structure of the pop-up stall next to them.

Namjoon hadn’t said anything then either, choosing to simply suppress a smile and look somewhere near her shoulder, leaving the ball in her court. His you look pretty stunt was still burnt in her mind, though, so without too much thought, she’d reached up and pressed a kiss to his cheek before continuing walking.

It’s the same look now, the one where he seems to be on the verge of throwing caution to the wind. But she knows him too well, enough to know that caution is something he doesn’t play around with.

“Kaya…”

“Sleep on it,” she interrupts softly. “Seriously. It’ll be better.”

He looks for a moment as though he’s about to argue but at the last second simply nods. “Your hair’s longer,” he comments, fingering the ends of her loose, dark hair.

“Yeah. I’ll have to cut it soon.”

“Don’t. It’s beautiful.”

Kaya sighs. “Joon, you’re making this really hard,” she complains softly, her gaze dropping to his chest. She imagines him pulling her into it, feeling the hug she’s needed for months now.

“Sorry.” He swallows, just as a tune begins playing. His eyes light up in surprise. “Wait, do you know this song?”

“Uh… no,” she answers, frowning at the unfamiliar melody. It sounds like it’s coming from Jieun’s bedroom, but she can neither recall nor understand the lyrics. “Do you?”

“Yeah,” he says immediately, glancing up at the same window. “It’s pretty popular. It came out a long time ago, though. Like, when I was a baby.”

“Huh.” She listens for a few seconds. “Very Phil Collins,” she remarks.

Namjoon bites his lips and smiles, the dimple popping gorgeously. “You know what this reminds me of?”

Kaya grins despite herself. “Let me guess,” she begins deliberately as she lets him take her hand. “London?”

He chuckles, wrapping his other arm around her waist. “Hey, I can’t help it if London has so many good memories,” he reasons, his feet already moving in a rough rhythm. 

She laughs but doesn’t argue, choosing to enjoy how he feels against her for a few precious minutes - quite possibly the last few minutes that she’ll ever feel it. She squeezes her eyes shut for a moment before opening them, only to see a light over his shoulder.

“Oh, God. Can we not do this where the neighbour can see us from his bathroom?” she groans, starting to step away., 

Namjoon tugs her even closer. “No one’s watching us. It’s Christmas Eve; they have better things to do.”

“Actually, it’s Christmas Eve-Eve and - okay, we’re in direct eyeline of the main road. Namjoon, what if someone sees you - oh, my God!”

Kaya’s feet leave the ground all of a sudden and after two large strides, Namjoon places her back down on the ground, arm firm around her. She bursts into giggles, stifling them against his shoulder as she regains her balance, looking up to see them under the tree in Jieun’s front yard, the fairy lights giving them a warm glow.

“Is that better?” he asks, laughing.

“Much better,” she agrees, feeling her heart expand as she moves right up against him, holding his shoulder and pressing a kiss to his collarbone as the song continues playing.

“Good,” he murmurs, his lips at her hair. 

It isn’t a long song; Kaya’s just about registering how good he feels, how familiar, how safe, when the music fades away. They don’t step away from each other, though. She rests her forehead on his shoulder, hoping another song will play - anything to keep this moment going on a bit longer.

It doesn’t, but they still don’t move. She can feel Namjoon’s heartbeat against her hand, the one he’s clasping against his chest. 

“Do you still love me?” he asks quietly.

Just like yesterday when he’d texted unexpectedly, taking the initial step, displaying the first hints of vulnerability, Kaya feels every strip of remaining defensiveness fall away, leaving nothing but raw honesty behind. 

“Yes,” she admits, softly but clearly.

Namjoon’s arm tightens around her. “Can I kiss you?”

Her heart leaps. “Can you check if Jae-lin is still here?”

He snickers but she can feel his head tilt up. “No, she’s gone.”

“Then, yes,” she answers immediately, finally separating from him. Namjoon looks as though the sun’s come out; he exhales purposefully, his gaze falling from her eyes to her mouth. Gently moving her hair away from her face, he pulls her closer and, after more than half a year of doubt, anxiety and sadness, he kisses her.

The first time he’d ever kissed her was sweetness; sunny, warm and inviting. The next few times were flirty, sensual, teasing, followed by sexy, loving, affectionate - whatever the situation demanded. Namjoon was a hell of a kisser, his lips and body always moving in tandem, and he made her feel whatever the moment desired, every single time.

Right now, it’s a multitude of things. Kaya can’t even begin to identify it; she’s barely made it past the fact that she’s kissing him again, finally, feeling his lips and his hair and his hands on her. There are too many things in the kiss, but there’s only one thing clear in her mind: please don’t let this be goodbye.

It’s a vain hope because it may very well be, and she pulls him closer by the lapels of his jacket when she thinks it, trying somewhere in the desperation of their passion to remember that at least now, if they end everything right here, she’ll remember their last kiss.

Namjoon’s holding her close, so close. His lips are soft but firm, and the kiss sinking. When they finally pull away, staying right there, foreheads touching and his hand still in her hair, Kaya feels his heartbeat again. It’s under her palm, racing unevenly, but so strong.

This can’t be goodbye, she thinks again, even though every passing second makes it more and more clear that it probably is. It had been her suggestion to think it over and to consider more than just love, but in this moment, she regrets it immensely, for while Namjoon can be sweet and loving and romantic, nothing makes as much sense to him as pure, rational thinking. 

It was one of the most attractive qualities about him; he was an artist, had an artist’s vision and temperament, but still held logic and reasoning in high regard. To a research student who worked with numbers, data and science, he was the perfect combination of everything she wanted in a man.

Despite that, Kaya wishes she’d never said anything. Eyes squeezed shut, she can’t believe this might be the last time, the last everything. She feels him take a deep breath before he kisses her forehead.

And just like that, she knows she’s made a mistake.

“Goodnight, Kaya,” he whispers against her skin. He pulls away and smooths down her hair. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

There’s nothing left to do but nod silently, and watch him drive away into the cold.

—

A faint buzzing wakes her up.

“Fuck,” whispers Kaya, feeling around on her bedside table for her phone. Squinting at the screen, she pauses in confusion. When the ringing continues, she answers before she wakes her mother sleeping next to her.

“Hello?”

“Hey.” Namjoon sounds far more awake than her. “Sorry, I think I woke you.”

“Good guess,” she mutters thickly, sitting up into a slightly more comfortable position. “What’s up? Is - is everything okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine.” There’s a pause where she can hear the smile in his voice. “I forgot how adorable you sound when you’re sleepy.”

Despite how her heart skips a beat, she frowns. “Seriously? You woke me up at the break of dawn to flirt with me?”

He chuckles, low and pleasant. “No. I was hoping we could talk. In person,” he clarifies after a moment.

“I - well… I don’t think I’ll get a cab for a couple more hours at least.”

“Mhm, mhm. It’s a good thing I’m outside Jieun’s house, then.”

Kaya’s eyes snap open. “You’re - what?” She peers out of the gap between the curtains in the guest room. “Babe, it’s six am - the sun isn’t even up yet,” she groans, a second before she inwardly cringes and hopes he’ll let her slip of the tongue go without comment.

“I - I know. But I’ve been thinking about this all night. You asked me to sleep on it - and that’s what I did. I thought about it, looked back on everything, even had a drink to clear my head.”

“So you did everything but sleep on it.”

Namjoon sighs. “I’m sorry, I just… I have to leave in a few hours. And I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone.”

His tone seems to imply not wholly good news. She swallows, her heart already sinking. “And it can’t wait?” She drops her head into her hand. “I think those three glasses of wine are finally hitting me.”

“I have coffee,” he offers. “And the fresh air should help.”

Irrefutable logic. The smell of caffeine seems to spur her decision and she rolls her eyes. “Fine. Thank God you’re not my leader.”

He laughs. “I’m waiting outside,” he says before hanging up.

There’s no scope to pretty herself for this. Kaya manages to stumble to the bathroom and brush her teeth, after which it’s layer upon layer until she deems herself sufficiently padded for a December morning in Seoul at dawn. She doesn’t want to risk waking anyone up, so simply drops her mother a text: I’m fine. Just went outside for a walk with Namjoon. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he greets her when she steps out, pursing his lips when she momentarily freezes. “Here you go,” he says, handing her a cup of coffee.

“Thanks. I needed this.” She takes the first sip, hot enough to scald her throat, and shivers in the frosty air. They begin walking down the street, the same one they’d driven up last night, with hundreds of unspoken words between them. Now, with all of them uttered and confessed, the air seems clearer and sky seems lighter, a nice indigo over the Christmas lights put up through the lane.

“Thank you for having me over last night,” he says. “I was planning on going home and ordering in, so home-cooked food was kind of amazing.”

“Well, you definitely paid Jieun back in kind, by keeping her daughter entertained all night,” she reminds him, still annoyed by how gushy Jae-lin had been last night. She’d always been a fan, since years before Kaya and Namjoon had ever met, and even though she’d somehow managed to get used to the fact that they were dating, her outward behaviour still needed some restraining sometimes.

Namjoon laughs. “I didn’t mind.” He’s dressed in sweatpants and a grey hoodie, with a black leather jacket thrown hurriedly over it. Looking at him, it’s as though he’d rushed out the door to meet with her.

They reach the neighbourhood park, empty as expected. It seems to be the only area in the entire neighbourhood that isn’t decorated; at this time of the morning, it looks strangely eerie.

“This should work,” mutters Namjoon, stepping inside and heading towards the swings, sitting on one edge of a two-person swing. Kaya trails after him silently, stopping a few steps away as he adjusts his position and looks up at her.

It’s gorgeous, his small smile. “Sit with me?” he asks. “I always loved going to the park as a kid. My parents would get happy because it meant I was taking a break from studying.” He chuckles.

Kaya doesn’t move. Dropping her gaze to the cup in her hand, she traces the mouth of the lid with her finger. “What’s happening right now, Namjoon? Is this us taking another risk together or… just an amicable way to say goodbye?”

Namjoon’s smile fades slightly. “Sit with me?” he repeats, sounding more sombre this time. “I’ll explain everything.”

Hesitating for a moment, Kaya joins him on the swing. Their shoulders brush, and she tucks her hair behind her ear before placing both hands around her cup like a safety tool, savouring the heat from it.

He takes a deep breath. “I thought about it,” he says finally. “In fact, I’ve been thinking about it all night. And if you ask me right now if I want to get back together… the answer is yes. It’s just yes,” he says earnestly, meeting her eyes. “I don’t have to think about it. I - I want you,” he admits. “I want to be your boyfriend. I want you in my life.”

I want you. The words should be enough for her to break into song, but instead Kaya’s chest constricts, as though her heart is bracing itself for the bad news.

“But if you’re asking me about a decision,” he continues, looking away now. “If you’re asking me about a long-term plan for our future - which is a fair ask, by the way,” he inserts quickly, glancing up briefly, “I - you know, it turns out I’ve been thinking about this for a while? I didn’t realise it, but it’s always been there at the back of my mind.”

Kaya doesn’t say anything. There’s a sense of foreboding in his words and she wonders all of a sudden if it isn’t just better to have a break-up over the phone.

“Given my job,” he says slowly, sounding like he’s choosing his words carefully, “given the industry, given my family… the fact that I’ll have to enlist in the military in a few years -” He breaks off momentarily and clears his throat, while her heart clenches. “Given all that, I think it would be impossible - and irresponsible - of me to promise you a future that I don’t know if I’ll be able to give you.”

“But I can promise you,” he says after a moment, and she knows he’s tilting his head to try and meet her eyes, “that every decision I take, every plan that I make… all of that will be done keeping this future in mind. The one with you in it.”

She frowns, finally looking up at him. “Are you sure?” she asks, and she hopes he understands what she’s asking.

He seems to. “Yeah, I am. I can’t… not have you in my future. If I look down ten years, fifteen years, twenty… I just can’t picture a future without you in it.”

Kaya doesn’t know what to say. They’ve just ventured into territory she wasn’t expecting. It’s not commitment. It’s not even a plan. It’s just a promise of intent, and she has no choice but to take him at his word.

He brushes her knee with the back of his hand. “Kaya?”

She bites her lip. “This… future,” she ventures, finding it strange even saying the word. “If you had it your way… what does it look like?”

Namjoon seems to consider this. “White picket fence,” he says, nodding. “And a backyard, definitely.”

Without meaning to, Kaya feels her face break into a smile. “Really?”

“Yeah. And, uh… one of those small bars in the house, with a countertop and the mixer things,” he adds, using an imaginary shaker. “A suburban house… late night drinks, where we talk about how our day was.” He looks down at her and smirks playfully. “Meeting for quickies in the studio during lunch?”

Kaya laughs. “Of course, I’m sure,” she says sarcastically, secretly unable to wait for more. “What else?”

“Um…” He squints up at the lightening sky, trying to think. “Museum dates on the weekends… Learning how to use a lawnmower.”

“I’m sorry,” she says softly, reaching up to touch his bangs, her heart full, “but there is no future in which I’m ever letting you near a lawnmower.”

Namjoon snorts. “Fair enough. What about… oh, a home gym, for sure.” The smile fades a bit, and he gets a slightly faraway look in his eyes. “An SUV… big enough to fit multiple people.” He meets her eyes. “Four bedrooms. At least.”

She swallows, her heart pounding. The prickling in her eyes is back and she stares at her lap, hoping it’ll go away. “Are you really serious right now?” she asks quietly, hearing the tremble in her voice.

“Completely,” he promises. “I know it’s not what you asked, and I’m sorry I can’t give that to you. But it’s the best I can do. Is it… is it enough for you?”

After what feels like an eternity, but is really only a few seconds, Kaya nods. “Yes,” she answers, watching the relief flood through his face. “It’s enough for me.” 

When Namjoon says nothing and simply exhales shakily, she tilts her head. “Do you still love me?” she asks him, unable to keep the teasing out of her tone.

He gives a raspy sort of chuckle, pulling her to him and kissing her temple. “You’re the love of my life, baby.”

This would be the time to break into song, but Kaya reins it in, choosing instead to close her eyes and press her lips to his jaw, savouring that Kim Namjoon is, once again, hers - possibly for a long, long time.

“You know I spent, like, an hour yesterday picking out my outfit,” she murmurs after a moment, waiting for him to hum against her hair. “Should I get mad at you now or later for choosing to confess your undying love for me when I’m in a college sweatshirt and Jieun’s Uggs?”

He laughs, the deep sound making her heart flutter. “If it helps, I realised my undying love for you yesterday, while you were in your sexy outfit.” He tugs her closer by the waist and kisses her on the mouth.

Kaya makes a sound of surprise but doesn’t pull away. She holds his face to hers, running her hand through his hair, his thick blond strands as he gently coaxes her mouth open. There’s only so much room on the swing, though, and after about a minute of renewed passion, Kaya feels it sway dangerously under her. She’s just about to pull away when Namjoon sucks on her lower lip, a low groan accompanying it, and squeezes her waist - and she falls.

“Shit,” he mutters, taking a second to understand what just happened. “Are you okay?” he asks, snickering and bending to give her a hand. His dimple appears on his left cheek, brighter than the sunrise.

“What better way to resume our relationship, right?” she mutters dryly, taking his hand and dusting herself off. “The sun’s coming up, anyway - you don’t want to get caught making out with someone in a children’s park.”

“What kid comes to the park at seven in the morning?” he argues, tugging her closer by the waist again. “It’s the perfect place to make out with my girlfriend, if you think about it.”

She’s about to differ, but he kisses her on the cheek then before trailing his lips down her jaw and towards her neck. She sighs, her eyes fluttering shut on their own. He leaves for Ilsan in a few hours; if there was ever a time to risk making out in a public place, this is it.

“Fine, come here,” she instructs, stepping away and ignoring his protests, pulling him towards the corner of the park. She stops just beyond the jungle gyms, near the wall bordering the park and under a canopy of trees. “This will do,” she says approvingly, grinning when he wordlessly kisses her again.

Here, with the protection of the trees from prying eyes, Kaya allows herself to be taken by him completely. It’s the same urgent passion, but less desperate and more affectionate. Museum dates, late night drinks and an SUV, she thinks, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him deeper. He knew the right things to say and she hopes with all her heart that they make it to the future he’s envisioning.

“Mm, Joon, your hands are cold,” she complains against his lips, giggling as he slips them under her t-shirt. 

“They are, huh?” he murmurs, low and deep, nipping at her lip and backing her against the wall.

“Fucking freezing,” she adds, sighing when they disappear from against her skin. “Can we go back to my - oh, wait,” she remembers, leaning her head back against the wall. “This isn’t Amsterdam and I don’t have an apartment of my own.”

“Well, it’s Seoul and I do have an apartment of my own,” he points out. “I have to be back in Ilsan for brunch but maybe we can sneak away for a bit…?” Namjoon trails off, shaking his head already, clearly on the same lines as her.

“We can do better than a quickie,” she says heavily, even as she presses her lips together. Her eyes dart to the bulge in his sweatpants and she swallows, resisting the urge to palm him right here. “When are you back?”

“Twenty-seventh morning,” he answers. “When are you flying back?”

Kaya hesitates. “Twenty-eighth morning.”

“Okay.” He nods, brushing his thumb against her cheek. “It’s going to be a hell of a twenty-seventh of December, then.”

She smiles and nods. “Yeah. I’m glad you’ll be with your family on Christmas, by the way.”

“Me, too.” 

“Do you want to come over for a quick breakfast?” she offers, raising her eyebrows. “Everyone in that house is an early riser, including Jae-lin.”

“Sure,” he answers, surprising her. “You can tell her we’re back together, too.”

“Perfect.”

“Oh, wait.” Namjoon frowns, apparently just remembering something. “Won’t they be worried? If they wake up and see that you’re gone?”

“We’re half a block away from the house,” she reminds him.

“Sure, but they don’t know you’re here,” he points out.

She shakes her head. “Don’t worry. I dropped my mom a text.”

“Do you think that’s enough?”

“She’ll know I’m okay,” assures Kaya, getting up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. “I told her I’m with you.”

—

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to drop a review :)

[arcielee]

Dancing in the Dark

Tom Bennett x OFC Summary: War is spilling over Europe and a route is being created to help POWs escape occupied France. Sometimes love does not last forever, but lasts long enough. Warnings: Smut implied, sad af, some misogyny cause it's the 1940s

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 - ende

Chapter 6

The days were quick, with an easy routine for Tom to help aita and the boys around the farm, while Vera remained with ama and Giulia to complete household chores and prepare supper. The end of the day meal was an exchange of stories from the day’s events and a glass of wine for dessert. Bernard would often give an update to the next steps, letting them know that his uncle had the passports prepared and how he would meet them at the Port of Gibraltar with tickets for one of the merchant ships.

Vera found herself lost in thought about Tom and their last night in Pamplona; she found she craved to feel the warm touch of his hands and the softness of his kisses. They were curled up in the bed, with her head on his chest while his fingers played with her curls. 

“A merchant ship,” he hummed. “I do not miss being at sea.”

“It is cheap,” she turned her head, resting her chin on her palm to look at his face. “It is best to be…” she thought for a moment. “In-conspic-us?” 

He smiled and tilted his head down to kiss her hairline. “Inconspicuous.” He looked ahead again for a pregnant pause. “Vera,” his voice the low timbre of the late night. “Would you still love me if I was just a pig farmer?”

She giggled at his question. “Tom. I will love you no matter what,” she stated as a fact, her eyes curious to his question. “Even if you were a Schweinebauer.”

His lips curled and he hummed again. “What if we stayed in Pamplona?”

Her expression froze at his words.

His expression was hard, but he did not press and instead pulled her back against his chest, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face into her dark curls.

“Spain is untouched by the Nazis,” he continued. “We could stay put and I can find work–”

“For how long?” Vera asked him, her words slow. “How long does Spain remain untouched by Germany?” She pushed to sit upright, her fingers trailing his bare chest and causing his skin to raise to her delicate touch. “Tom, we owe this to Webster and to the people depending on us to verify this route. I…” her words failed her and she could not finish her sentence.   

The following morning was somber; she woke and dressed in her knitted skirt and blouse that Giulia had been good enough to wash for her, though her heart would miss the comfort of the ruffle skirts leant. Her knapsack was packed and she looked to see Tom, who was dressed and waiting for her. 

He reached for her hand and they went downstairs to be greeted with hugs and whispers of good luck from aita and ama, then Bernard and Giulia gave them their papers and walked them to the station. Vera did not mind when Guilia hugged her. “You could have kept the skirt,” she whispered. “Green is your color.”

“When I come back,” Vera promised.

The train ride rumbled and Tom held her hand without a word and her own expression was stoic, but her eyes were glassy; she peered through the compartment window and watched the scenery change with the train ride. Vera eventually pushed back and rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes to hold back her tears, a soft smile when she felt him kiss the top of her head, him resting his cheek against. Her hands fidgeted with the gold band on her finger and he eventually took her hand, bringing her palm to his lips for another kiss. 

They arrived at Gibraltar, exiting the train with the crowd and eyes watchful for the uncle. “How will we know?” Tom asked her, but she held his hand and pulled him towards a tall man with ice-blue eyes that twinkled. 

“Êtes-vous Vera?” He asked, peering at them both. Are you Vera?

"Oui," she nodded and gestures towards Tom. "Et voici mon mari, Tom."

I am. And this is my husband, Tom.

She felt choked with her words and knew she would miss saying them. 

The man introduced himself as Lucay, the young brother of Lyam. He was tall and a bit leaner, with the hint of silver beginning at his sideburns. He congratulated them on their arrival. “You will be home soon,” he said with a smile. 

They had enough time for a small meal and he walked them towards the docks and watched to verify they boarded the ship. There were maybe a hundred civilians in total who were ushered towards accommodations and assigned to rooms. 

“I feel they may have spoiled us at the villa,” Vera said when they entered the cabin; it was smaller than the motel room shared before.

“I had more space on the Exeter,” Tom looked over before setting down her knapsack he carried. “C’mon, lets see her off.”

The deck was alive with the crew, preparing to weigh anchor, and the waves crashed along the side as the convoy began to shift. Vera felt her stomach lurch and Tom wrapped an arm around her. “Easy, love,” he whispered in her ear. “Take deep breaths and it should pass.”

“Should?” She asked, her eyes pleading. “How did you manage this?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Kept busy with hobbies while I was on duty.”

Tom and Vera kept to themselves and continued the ruse of newlyweds fleeing France, spending their days below deck to hide from the sweltering sun and walking the deck when the sun set. At night, he would lay his head in her lap and she would continue to read The Hobbit to him. 

“‘And why should not they prove true?’” She read, her tone soothing. “‘Surely you don’t disbelieve the prophecies, because you had a hand in bringing them about yourself? You don’t really suppose, do you, that all your adventures and escapes were managed by mere luck, just for your benefit?’” 

“Why shouldn’t he?” Tom interjected with another one of his questions.

She paused and leaned over to kiss his mouth. “We are at the end,” she smiled and continued, “‘You are a very fine person, Mr Baggins, and I am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after.’

“‘Thank goodness!’ said Bilbo laughing, and handed him the tobacco jar.”

He watched as she closed the book and asked, “That it then?”

“Yes, it is over.”

“But what about his book?” 

“I am not sure if Mr. Tolkien plans to–”

“No,” he waved his hand. “Bilbo’s book. There and Back Again.”

She smiled at him, her heart seized in her chest for a moment and she leaned over to kiss him again. “That did not answer my question,” he said when she broke away and she laughed, setting the book down and grabbing his collar.

The morning began with a bleak streak of sunlight battling the fog that rolled from Britain, the beginning of autumn brought a cool, crisp wind that ripped at their clothes. The deck was hectic, as supplies began to unload and the passengers ached for solid ground. Tom held on Vera’s hand as they weaved through the mess, pushing out and away from the crowd.  

They found a small café and grabbed lunch. Tom did not touch his food and her chest felt heavy, knowing what was to come. “Come with me to Manchester,” he started.

“Tom–”

“I know you feel this obligation to Webster, but risking your life? For what reason?” His brow furrowed, his tone grew heated with his words. “This guilt you carry with you for some bloke you didn’t even love, but I am here, alive, and in front of you.” 

“It is more than what I want, Tom,” she cried, the frustration that hovered over them spilling into tears. “We have been fortunate, but I cannot just walk away when lives are dependent on me.” She took a breath. “It is not just the doctor, but Henriette, Jacques, those soldiers in the hospital beds who also just wish to be home… I have to do this, Tom. It is the right thing to do.” 

He stared at her, the red tinted his cheeks and the tips of his ears, bringing out the copper tones to his golden locks. “Fuck,” he cried out and paused. “Vera, my dad would love you, Lois too.” He shook his head with a grim smile. “So fucking honorable.”

She wished to reach across and touch his hand, but his body language spoke otherwise. A moment passed filled with the sounds of cutlery touching the porcelain plates and chewing quietly. They paid and pushed to exit the café, Vera following him outside and Tom stopped, turning to her and still looking just as aggravated. “So what do I do now then?” 

“You will take a taxi to Manchester,” she sighed, pressing some bills into his palm. “That was the point, so you can have the freedom to do what you want. Tom, I–” but her voice broke off. 

Vera did not want to speak because she was unsure if she could trust her feelings at this moment. War had its chokehold around them and it made every moment so precious with the uncertainty of tomorrow. But she did know that if she left with him, she would hate herself for it as much as she had grown to love Bennett, Thomas. 

“I must do this,” she said instead. “I understand if you hate me for it, but as long as this war goes on, I must do my part.” 

She looked up to face Tom, expecting a backlash response but instead saw the glow of his brilliant blue eyes watching her. His lips pressed into a thin line and relaxed, his tongue wetting them. “I hate that you are like this,” he began, but he took a step to close the distance between them. “You are so damn stubborn, too.”

“You are cocksure,” she replied, her eyes narrowing onto him. “And arrogant.”

“I am,” he agreed, smiling when he saw her reaction, her stoicism cracking. “You have a silent reserve that forces me to self-reflect and I cannot stand it. It is like you have this heart that is too pure for this world right now and I want you to be as selfish as I am feeling.” Tom reached for her hands and she relished in the warmth they held; his palms were large and calloused, but also gentle. He brought her knuckles to his lips and kissed them, holding them for a moment, his thumb pressing into the golden band she still wore, before bringing them back down. “I cannot convince you to leave with me?”

Her jaw and her throat tightened with tears but she forced a small smile. “You cannot.” With his sigh, she added, “But I will come back to you when this war is done.”

“Who knows when that will be,” he sounded defeated. “Who knows where I will be?”

Vera shrugged. “I will find you,” and she kissed his cheek, turning to walk away and to find a bank, as Webster’s notes instructed. 

And Tom watched her skirt swish with her steps, a small smile on his lips.

Ende.

-----

previous | masterlist 

[glorioushimalaya]

Everest 3 High Pass Trek in Nepal

The Everest Three High Passes Trek is one of the most thrilling and challenging treks in the Everest region of Nepal. Unlike the more well-known Everest Base Camp (EBC) Trek, the Three High Passes route offers a more adventurous alternative for seasoned trekkers looking to experience the grandeur of the Himalayas in a unique way. This trek involves crossing three significant mountain passes—Renjo La (5,360m), Cho La (5,420m), and Kongma La (5,535m)—making it one of the most rewarding treks in the region.

Route and Highlights:

Start/End: Lukla

Key Destinations: Namche Bazaar, Tengboche, Dingboche, Gokyo Lakes, Lobuche, Everest Base Camp, and the three high passes.

Notable Peaks: Everest, Lhotse, Nuptse, Ama Dablam, Cho Oyu, and Makalu.

Highlights:Crossing the three challenging high passes.Spectacular views from Gokyo Ri, Kala Patthar, and the summits of each pass.Visiting Everest Base Camp. Exploring the vibrant Sherpa culture and monasteries along the way.

The Three Passes: Renjo La, Cho La, and Kongma La

Each pass offers its own challenges, scenic beauty, and distinct experience.

Renjo La Pass (5,360m)

Difficulty: Moderate to difficult. Renjo La is the most scenic but slightly less technical compared to the other two passes.

Scenic Beauty: This pass offers some of the best views of the Gokyo Lakes and the Everest range, including Makalu and Cho Oyu. The trail on the Gokyo side is relatively well-marked, with several viewpoints along the way.

Key Features: A pristine, panoramic view of the lakes, distant glaciers, and the full grandeur of the Everest region. The descent into the Gokyo Valley is equally stunning, with alpine lakes set against towering peaks.

Cho La Pass (5,420m)

Difficulty: Cho La is the most technical and strenuous of the three. There’s a significant section of ice and snow, making it quite dangerous during bad weather.

Scenic Beauty: Stunning vistas of Ama Dablam, Lobuche East, and towering icefalls greet trekkers. The crossing features a sharp, glacier-strewn path, with jagged rocks and icy terrain.

Key Features: A memorable climb with high exposure to the elements, offering an unforgettable journey across the glacial path and dramatic landscapes.

Kongma La Pass (5,535m)

Difficulty: Considered the toughest due to its height and the sharp ascent/descent involved.

Scenic Beauty: Provides panoramic views of Lhotse, Nuptse, and Makalu. From the summit, you can see down to the Khumbu Glacier and up to the Everest range.

Key Features: A raw, wild trek that offers solitude, stunning vistas, and a deeply rewarding experience as you descend into Lobuche after conquering the pass.

Personal Experience:

Crossing these high passes offers a humbling experience in the face of nature’s grandeur. Each pass is unique, with breathtaking beauty and the constant test of endurance. The thin air, strong winds, and the ever-changing landscape make each crossing a battle of willpower.

Acclimatization and Altitude Sickness

Preparing for High Altitude:

The Everest Three High Passes Trek takes you to extreme altitudes, with many sections above 5,000 meters. Proper preparation is essential, including gradually gaining altitude and taking plenty of acclimatization breaks. Before starting the trek, it’s recommended to spend a few days in Namche Bazaar or Dingboche to allow your body to adjust to the higher altitude.

Importance of Acclimatization Days:

Acclimatization days are crucial to prevent altitude sickness. These are often spent doing side hikes to higher altitudes before descending to sleep at a lower elevation. For example, while in Namche, you might trek up to the Everest View Hotel or Khumjung village.

Signs of Altitude Sickness:

Mild Symptoms: Headache, nausea, dizziness, and fatigue.

Severe Symptoms: Difficulty breathing, confusion, and loss of coordination (signs of high-altitude cerebral or pulmonary edema).

Tips to Prevent and Handle Altitude Sickness:

Trek slowly and steadily.

Stay hydrated.

Avoid alcohol and smoking.

Take medications like Diamox (consult with your doctor beforehand).

Descend immediately if severe symptoms occur.

Best Time to Do the Everest Three High Passes Trek

Spring (March-May) vs. Autumn (September-November):

Spring: Warmer temperatures and blooming rhododendrons make this season especially scenic. The trails are slightly busier as trekkers flock to the region to avoid the monsoon and enjoy the milder weather.

Autumn: This is the most popular time for trekking. The weather is stable with clear skies, offering superb views of the mountains. The cool, crisp air and the lack of precipitation make autumn the perfect time for those who prioritize scenic photography.

Weather Patterns:

March-May: Day temperatures range between 10°C to 15°C, with colder nights.

September-November: Day temperatures range from 10°C to 12°C, with even clearer skies and colder nights.

Physical Preparation and Fitness

Fitness Level Required:

The Everest Three High Passes Trek is one of the more strenuous treks in Nepal, requiring high levels of stamina and fitness. Trekkers should be physically fit and comfortable with long hikes, steep ascents, and high-altitude conditions.

Training Tips:

Cardio: Focus on cardiovascular fitness by doing long hikes, running, swimming, or cycling.

Strength Training: Build leg and core strength with squats, lunges, step-ups, and core exercises.

Endurance: Practice long-distance walks with a loaded backpack to mimic the actual trekking conditions.

Recommended Exercises:

Running or brisk walking: 3–4 times a week to build cardiovascular endurance.

Hiking: With a backpack to simulate the trek. Include elevation gain to build leg strength.

Yoga or stretching: To improve flexibility and prevent injury.

Conclusion

The Everest Three High Passes Trek is a demanding but incredibly rewarding adventure that allows you to experience the Everest region from multiple perspectives. Whether it’s the towering peaks, tranquil lakes, or the sheer challenge of crossing these high-altitude passes, the trek offers an experience unlike any other. With the right preparation—both physically and mentally—you can conquer this trek and return with memories that will last a lifetime.Overview of the Everest Three High Passes Trek

[foxes-that-run]

https://youtu.be/Se1MyaEeoHM?si=8MWrrEhl6dZGBbmg

What Harry says in the last few seconds about letting stuff that happened over the past 5 years sink in, do you think he means stuff that happened with the band or their personal lives? Like if he's talking about his personal life then he had lived 500 lives in those 5 years, lots of ups and downs. So i think HS1 was the result of letting those things sink in. Otherwise why did he wait a whole one and a half year to write Woman (if it was actually written in Jamaica like the behind the album showed)

I think he means it all, professional and personal, he said something similar to Zayn, that when they had milestones instead of happy that he was just relieved they didn’t mess it up. And probably times like when they won at the VMAs, they were hanging with Taylor playing purple rain till the morning at an afterparty but the next day they had Deadline trail them all day and the This Is Us premiere. Or when he had to explain in an interview why he stayed in LA for the night of the AMAs to go to her mini after party. They didn’t get time to enjoy it the way his solo career friends did.

[princesssdark88]

Ateez Like Boyfriends: Waking up in bed ♡

♡ Lembrando a todos que este post é meramente ilustrativo, e feito apenas para divertimento dos fãs.

♡ Reminding everyone that this post is merely illustrative, and made just for the amusement of fans.

♡ Thank you to everyone who voted, I hope you enjoy it! ♡

Yeosang

Sempre vai fica com pena de acorda você, caso ele acorde primeiro. Então ou vai ficar olhando você dormir, ou vai apoia a cabeça nas suas costas ou no seu peito e ficar assim até você acorda.

Acorda já querendo se aconchegar em você parecendo um gato, se esfregando com o rosto no seu corpo.

Gosta de fica abraçadinho sentindo seu cheiro.

"Bom dia princesa, hora de acorda! Como pode você ser tão linda acordando?".

Gosta de fazer trilhas de beijinhos.

Gosta quando você fica esfregando as pernas nele.

Fica fazendo carinho no seu rosto e de ficar namorando enquanto ficam mexendo no cabelo um do outro.

Quando pensar em levantar, ele vai levanta junto para te envolver num abraço e te carrega até o banheiro.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

He'll always feel sorry for waking you up if he wakes up first. So it's either going to watch you sleep, or it's going to rest its head on your back or on your chest and stay that way until you wake up.

He wakes up already wanting to snuggle up to you looking like a cat, rubbing his face on your body.

He likes to cuddle up and smell it.

"Good morning princess, time to wake up! How can you be so beautiful waking up?"

Likes to go on kiss trails.

Likes it when you keep rubbing your legs on it.

Keeps stroking your face and making out while you mess with each other's hair.

When you think about getting up, he'll get up with you to wrap you in a hug and carry you to the bathroom.

Mingi

Assim que abrir os olhos vai te puxar pra perto, ele necessita do seu corpo colado nele pra acorda bem.

Vai fica agarrando seu corpo enquanto te beija dando bom dia.

Vai fazer cara de manhoso, gemendo e pedindo pra vocês transarem depois de acorda.

"Bom dia meu amor, você dormiu bem? Eu amo acorda com você!".

Adora quando você acorda ele com beijinhos no pescoço, ou passando a mão na nuca dele e depois pelo cabelo dele.

Ele ama passa a mão por baixo da sua blusa pra brinca com seus seios, e ficar segurando seu cabelo pro alto beijando seu pescoço, seu orelha descendo pela lateral do seu rosto até chega na sua bochecha e depois na sua boca.

Não vai quere sair da cama, vai tenta te prende aproveitando a altura dele.

Você e ele adoram dar mordidinhas um no outro e ficar brincando disso enquanto ficam na cama.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

As soon as he opens his eyes he will pull you close, he needs your body glued to him to wake up well.

He'll be grabbing your body while kissing you good morning.

He'll make a sly face, moaning and asking you to after he wakes up.

"Good morning my love, did you sleep well? I love wakes up with you!"

He loves it when you wake him up with kisses on his neck, or running your hand over the back of his neck and then through his hair.

He loves to put his hand under your blouse to play with your breasts, and keep holding your hair up kissing your neck, his ear going down the side of your face to your cheek and then your mouth.

He won't want to get out of bed, he'll try to trap you by taking advantage of his height.

You and he love to nibble on each other and play around with it while stay in bed.

San

Tal qual um panda, ele simplesmente vai acorda todo dia grudado em você.

Vai ficar choramingando cada vez que você falar que precisa levanta: "Levanta para quê se podemos ficar o dia todo aqui!".

Ama quando você acorda e coloca a cabeça no peito dele pra ele fica fazendo carinho em você.

Gosta quando você dá beijinho ao longo do rosto dele, principalmente se isso significar você estar montada nele, o que deixa ele excitado sempre.

Gosta de sentir o seu cheiro, fica colocando o rosto entre seu cabelo para cheira sua nuca e depois ir descendo cheirando pelo seu corpo até deixar você toda arrepiada.

Ele ama sentir seus dedos passando pelas costas dele.

Adora um sexo matinal, principalmente se isso envolver carícias de ambos.

Gosta de fica com o corpo sobre você, te prendendo na cama para impedir você de sair, o que vai leva vocês a ficarem um tempão brincando de gato e rato tentando escapar um do outro.

Quando você levanta, fica todo manhoso, faz beicinho e diz que se você não volta pra cama vai te busca e te trazer de volta.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

Just like a panda, he just wakes up every day glued to you.

He'll be whining every time you say you need to get up: "Get up for what? if we can stay here all day!"

He loves it when you wake up and put your head on his chest so he keeps petting you.

He likes it when you kiss him over the cheek, especially if it means you're riding him, which makes him all the time.

He likes to smell you, he keeps putting his face between your hair to smell the back of your neck and then goes down smelling your body until he makes you shiver all over.

He loves to feel your fingers running down his back.

Loves morning sex, especially if it involves caresses from both of you.

He likes to keep his body on top of you, pinning you to the bed to prevent you from leaving, which will lead to you spending a lot of time playing cat and mouse trying to escape from each other.

When you get up, you get all sly, pout, and say that if you don't go back to bed he'll pick you up and bring you back.

Seonghwa

Vai fica olhando você acorda com os olhinhos assim 🥺

Quando você acordar e ficar agarradinha nele, ele vai fica todo manhoso, passando a mão no seu cabelo e dizendo "bom dia meu amor, você dormiu bem? É tão bom acorda do seu ladinho..."

Vai dar beijinhos na sua cabeça e ir descendo até chegar na sua boca.

Ama fica agarradinho com você, gosta quando você se prende nele com as pernas.

Fica sorrindo quando você fica mexendo no cabelo dele e dizendo que ele é muito lindo mesmo quando acorda.

Ama fingir que vai morder partes do seu corpo só pra você fica dizendo que ele não pode e fingir que tá braba, mas quando é sua bunda ele morde de verdade.

Você ama beija o pescoço dele e ver ele fica arrepiado.

Vai aproveita sempre pra te prende com os braços e dizer que você só pode levanta depois dele ganha mais um beijo.

Ama fica namorando com o corpo sobre o seu e de segura suas pernas na cintura dele para fica fazendo carinho enquanto te beija.

Gosta de coloca a cabeça nos seu seios pra recebe cafuné enquanto fica agarrado na sua cintura.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

He'll be watching, you wake up with your little eyes like this 🥺

When you wake up and cuddle with him, he'll get all sly, running his hand through your hair and saying "good morning my love, did you sleep well? It's so good, wake up next to you…"

It'll kiss your head and work its way down until it reaches your mouth

Loves to cling to you, likes it when you hold on to it with your legs.

He keeps smiling when you keep touching his hair and telling him that he is very beautiful even when he wakes up.

He loves to pretend he's going to bite parts of your body just for you and keeps telling him he can't and pretending he's mad, but when it's your ass he really bites.

You love kiss his neck and see him get goosebumps.

He will always take the opportunity to hold you with his arms and say that you can only get up after him get another kiss.

He loves to be in love with his body on top of yours and holds your legs around his waist to caress you while kissing you.

He likes to put her head on her breasts to get caressed while clinging to her waist.

Hongjoong

"Bom dia" acompanhado de um sorrisão.

Vai fica agarradinho em você com o rosto enfiado quase embaixo do seu braço (Ama quando você faz o mesmo com ele).

Ama ficar dando beijinhos enquanto fica falando tipo "O que 😘 vamos 😘 tomar 😘 de café 😘 da manhã 😘?"

Vai fica passando a mão no cabelo todo bagunçando, e você vai ri da cara dele e ajuda ele a bagunça mais, e dizer que ele é lindo, o que vai fazer ele ficar todo bobo.

Vai fica deitado com o braço estendido dizendo "não vaiiiii, fica aquiiiii" fazendo carinha de triste.

Se você volta para um beijinho, vai te segura de novo na cama, se não volta, vai corre atrás de você até ganha um beijo.

Gosta de ter você nos braços dele, e de fica beijando seu pescoço.

As vezes gosta de te dar prazer pela manhã, também gosta quando você pergunta se ele gostaria que você desse prazer pra ele pra acorda mais relaxado.

Depois de ficarem namorando na cama, te chama pra toma banho com ele.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

"Good morning" accompanied by a smile.

he'll cling to you with his face tucked almost under your arm (Loves it when you do the same to him).

Do you love kissing while talking like "What 😘 are we going 😘 to have 😘 for breakfast 😘 ?"

He'll keep running his hand through his hair all messed up and you'll laugh at his face and help him mess up more and tell him he's beautiful which will make him look all silly.

He will lie down with his arm outstretched saying "don't gooooo, stay hereeeee" making a sad face.

If you come back for a kiss he'll hold you back in bed, if he doesn't come back he'll run after you until he gets a kiss.

He likes to hold you in his arms, and he kisses your neck.

Sometimes he likes to give you pleasure in the morning, he also likes it when you ask him if he would like you to give him pleasure so he wakes up more relaxed.

After y'all be in love in bed, he asks you to take a shower with him.

Jongho

Não vai consegui levanta pois ele não vai deixa.

Vocês sempre ficam meia hora namorando na cama até decidirem levanta de verdade.

"Você me ama? Quanto você me ama? Só isso? Peraí..." Dependendo da quantidade de amor que você disser, ele vai te fazer cócegas e só vai para quando você disser que ama ele 100%.

Ficam brincando de luta prendendo um ao outro com as pernas.

Ele ama quando você monta nele e fica enchendo ele de beijos.

Gosta de fica passando os dedinhos pelos seu corpo pra ver você fica arrepiada.

Fica rindo quando você se cobre com o lençol se abaixando em direção a cintura dele, pra em seguida fica dizendo "YA YA YA, PARA GAROTA, VOLTA AQUI!".

As vezes canta para você ao acorda ou enquanto tá fazendo carinho, tocando seu cabelo.

Gosta quando você dorme nos braços dele com seu rosto colado no dele.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

You won't get it up 'cause it won't let you.

The two of you always spend half an hour in love in bed until you decide to get up for real.

"Do you love me? How much do you love me? Is that it? Wait…" Depending on the amount of love you say, it will tickle you and will only stop when you tell it you love it 100%.

The two of you are playing fighting, pinning each other with your legs.

He loves it when you ride him and keep showering him with kisses.

He likes to run his little fingers over your body to see you get goosebumps.

He keeps laughing when you cover yourself with the sheet by bending down towards his waist, and then he keeps saying "YA YA YA, GIRL, COME BACK HERE!".

Sometimes she sings to you when she wakes up or while she is petting your hair, touching your hair.

Likes it when you sleep in his arms with your face glued to his.

Wooyoung

Ou vocês vão acorda completamente grudados um no outro ou vão acorda com o pé de um na cara do outro.

Quando ele acorda vai quere fica agarradinho, chega a coloca a cabeça embaixo da sua roupa.

Ama senti seu cheiro e fica mexendo no seu cabelo até pega no sono de novo.

Vai dar beijos longos e apaixonados porque gosta de aproveita quando pode acorda com você.

"Bom dia dorminhoca, hora de acorda! Tô morrendo de fome!".

As vezes vai querer transa pela manhã, mas sempre de forma lenta e prazerosa, se ele tiver um tempo livre vocês vão passa a manhã inteira na cama.

As vezes, você e ele ficam dando tapas na bunda um do outro ao levanta, dependendo da intensidade, acabam voltando pra cama

Dengoso, vai fica choramingando pra não levanta, vai fazer beicinho e só levantar quando você encher ele de beijos.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

Either you're going to wake up completely glued to each other or you're going to wake up with your foot in each other's faces.

When he wakes up, he wants to hold on to him, he even puts his head under his clothes.

Love smelled you and keeps fiddling with your hair until he fall asleep again.

He will give long and passionate kisses because he likes to enjoy when he can he wakes up with you.

"Good morning sleepyhead, time to wake up! I'm starving!".

Sometimes he will want to have sex in the morning, but always in a slow

and pleasurable way, if he has some free time you will spend the whole morning in bed.

Sometimes, you and he are slapping each other's butts when you get up, depending on the intensity, you end up going back to bed.

Staggering, he'll be whining so he doesn't get up, he'll pout and only get up when you fill him with kisses.

Yunho

Acorda puxando você pra perto dele.

Gosta de dá beijinhos no seu nariz, na sua bochecha, depois na sua boca assim que acorda.

"Bom dia linda, dormiu bem? Pode fica dormindo que vou fazer o café".

Gosta de fica com você entre as pernas dele, te abraçando e namorando antes de levanta.

Fica todo tímido quando você fala que ele fica lindo todo bagunçado depois de acorda.

Gosta de fazer cócegas pra te fazer rir alto e assim acorda feliz.

Ama quando você fica deitada nas costas dele.

Fica sussurrando coisas no seu ouvido e depois faz cara de "eu falei isso? claro que não!".

Ama beijar seus pés, e as vezes aproveita pra te puxa na cama pra fica entre suas pernas e vocês ficarem namorando.

-------------------------------- ♡ -----------------------------------------

Wakes up pulling you close to him.

He likes to kiss your nose, your cheek, then your mouth as soon as you wake up.

"Good morning beautiful, did you sleep well? You can stay asleep and I'll make the coffee".

Likes to stay with you between his legs, cuddling with you and making out before you get up.

He gets all shy when you tell him that he looks beautiful all messed up after he wakes up.

He likes to tickle you to make you laugh out loud and so he wakes up happy.

Loves it when you lie on his back.

He keeps whispering things in your ear and then makes a face like "did I say that? Of course not!"

He loves to kiss your feet, and sometimes he takes the opportunity to pull you on the bed to get between your legs and y'all be in love.

[abricktothehead]

character lore written down instead of living rent free in my head??? (it’s more likely than you think)

transcripts under the cut

First image (Saturday and Chimra):

>be me >be demon >species reproduces through mitosis, which carries over some memories >only memory from parent is of some weirdass caravan >caravan has only two people in it?? >probably some dealers >have no character motivation so decide to track them down >trail goes cold bc i have nothing to work off of >years later sleepin in some building hollow >feel something HUGE slam into the side >ohshitdragon.jpg >i look down >its the fucking caravan >not even dealers literally just alchemists >mfw

---

hey r u still awake u shed all over the specimens and now i need to redo everything take a shower before going into the room next time wench btw your feathers contain trace amounts of dragonjuice rotten hellspawn

Second image (Fizz and Chimra):

I(19/0F Ghost) want to talk to my roommate's(??NB Demon) friend(20/3F Ghost) but she's always wrapped up in her work. I get that afterlife goals are important and all, but she locks herself in her room for days on end, which doesn't seem all that healthy. I tried talking to her roommate, but his demonic is outside of my hearing range and my DSL isn't that good, so that was that. My friend says that she's always Like That and that it's apparently normal for ghosts. Do I just not know enough about living as a ghost yet?

---

hey r u still awake you left ur hat here again you know if you want to stay you can just ask right were leaving tomorrow but if u want to tag along let me know also lmk when you read this i need to let scrim know if were delaying

Third image (Fizz and Saturday):

I (19/2F Ghost) am being repeatedly lied to by my best friend (??NB Demon). I know they're just doing it as a joke, but I'm actually worried about this causing actual issues down the line. Like, I love them and all, but I can't shake the feeling something actually bad will happen, and it'll be all Boy who cried wolf, yknow? WIBTA if I tell them to knock it off?

---

>be me >be demon >find a ghost in the rubble while getting the fuck out of my exs place >she just woke up after dying >not ready for this at all holy shit >comes at me speaking english, i don't fucking know english >charades.jpg >somehow i get her to follow me out of the ruins before the weeds get her >no idea where to take her >suddenly remember that i have a ghost friend who can probably help >i get to her house >there's no fucking house >it takes a week to track her down bc she insists on not staying in one place >we finally get to her house >at this point me and the ghost have a bit of an understanding >she still does not know where were going >still following tho >my friend opens the door and asks wtf am I doing here >the new ghost looks confused >she doesn't know sign either >mfw

Fourth image (Fizz):

Hey, I just died. AMA!

Q: Yikes. Good luck OP, mine was real rough. What happened? A: Last thing I remember I was rushing home because it was starting to storm. Then there was this bright flash of light and I woke up here, so lightning strike probably?

Q: ,;,';;;',.';,.';'.;,'.;;'.? A: What?

Q: are you okay? Did someone find you? A: Some weird biblically accurate angel thing. I think they want me to follow them?

Q: op do you even know where you are A: Not in the slightest.

UPDATE: We made it to the place. There's some skeleton plant lady here, but she's trying to talk to me with all these weird hand gestures that definitely aren't sign language, or at least any I'm familiar with. Does anyone know what's going on here? Have I just been kidnapped?

UPDATE: Guys, I know what Hell and demons and ghosts and everything are now, I've gotten many many comments about them. Chill. Anyway, I can actually understand what people are saying now (for the most part) and apparently I just got picked up by some randoms. I don't think it's a good idea to contact a ghost resource center right now, turns out we're in a pretty isolated area and I apparently can't die twice, so I'll keep you all posted on how that works out.

UPDATE: Good news, everyone! I'm not racist anymore! Very sorry for anything I said that might have been disrespectful to demons, it was completely unintentional and I now know better. Anyway, I managed to get a place staying in the local caravan along with the demon who found me (thank you to everyone offering advice!) and I got in contact with the resident necrotherapist. I luckily wasn't too banged up by the dying process, just some weird teeth issues and some latent electricity. It hurts a bit to talk out loud, but I'll just need to get used to it.

Q: Glad to hear you're still doing alright, OP, but are you sure that's all deformationwise? Because the way you're describing it sounds wayyy less deformed than any ghost I've known, and as someone who works by the Tower that's saying something.

A:

Fifth image (Saturday):

>be me >be earthling demon baby >literally just a fucking limb with limbs and an eye bc my species reproduces by regrowth like a worm >i get picked up by the local specter >hes obsessed with biology or whatever >PUTS ME IN A FUCKING JAR >tries to raise me like im some kinda parrot or something >figure out how to squeeze out of the pipes >GTFO >end up getting got by child support >they have no idea what to do with me >get sent to some living household, they think i'm gross >they take me to hell for a trip >familiar as shit, food actually tastes like not chemicals >family jokes about everything being as weird as me >family jokes about just leaving me here >they are about to find out it's not a joke >GTFO >no house but food is literally everywhere and water is free >end up sticking with this one caravan >i meet someone >[THE INCIDENT] >i now have a crippling fear of dogs >i pick up a newly spawned ghost along the way >mfw we have 0 common languages >i teach her demonic and DSL and she teaches me english >we are now best friends >boy i sure hope nothing bad or tragic happens to me involving memories aha

[chibitantei]

She had left Inaba in January and never looked back. She’d given them a phone number that was always intended to be discarded. When the train rolled away from the platform in the early hours of morning, no one saw her off. Quiet and empty, just as she wanted.

Naoto never saw them until the Love Meets Bonds Festival advertisement. Kujikawa returned as an idol, just as she promised she would. The others were her backup dancers, they smiled and cheered and danced, nothing suggesting that they ever missed her. Then she realized they were coming to Tokyo, and her stomach was filled with dread and shame.

The prospect of coming too close to the first group of people she could have called friends frayed her nerves, so she decided a visit to Mount Takao was in order. Staying by the main trail was too noisy, she couldn’t hear herself think, didn’t want to be seen by anyone. So when nobody was around, she slipped away and walked. Her final destination wasn’t too far from the main trail, but she was out of sight. She sat down on a stump that was ages old and tried to keep her hands from shaking, but they kept jittering with nervous energy and she felt like her stomach was going to turn inside out.

She shut her eyes and breathed in and out, focusing on that and nothing else. Something rustled in the distance, but Naoto ignored it, but then footsteps grew closer and closer and she had no choice but to open her eyes and see whoever it was.

And it was-

Naoto stood immediately and backed away, fists clenched, all while trying to convince herself that it wasn’t real.

But it unfortunately was.

“Please... go away.”

Naoto loves running ft. @ama-tcra-su

[444namesplus]

ae /ˈae/ v. know (be acquainted with)

aejiro /ˌaeˈʤiro/ nm. discussion

al /al/ pron. one

alimdo /aˈlimdo/ adj. religious

altassol /alˈtassol/ v. try (test out)

am /am/ prep. down

amae /aˈmae/ v. provide, cater

amdra /ˈamdra/ nf. fact

amnoel /amˈnoel/ nf. process, procedure

amyiun /aˈmjiun/ nm. tradition

anral /ˈanral/ v. arrest, detain

ar /ar/ conj. even

arfa /ˈarfa/ nf. wound, trauma

arpishi /arˈpiʃi/ nf. lover

asgamkrae /ˌasgamˈkrae/ nm. time

assuim /asˈsuim/ adj. guilty

asyutru /aˈsjutru/ adj. main

baposam /baˈposam/ v. be (temporary state), be (located)

bentsa /ˈbenʦa/ v. shine, radiate

bewaro /beˈwaro/ nm. description

bonroalam /ˌbonroˈalam/ nf. darkness

bralko /ˈbralko/ nm. system

bre /bre/ nf. berry

briho /ˈbriho/ nm. claw

bromieam /ˌbromiˈeam/ nf. comfort

bulthi /ˈbulθi/ adj. similar

chas /ʧas/ v. fire (from job)

chinaefi /ˌʧinaˈefi/ nm. plan, strategy (plan), tactic

da /da/ adj. stupid, dumb

daweva /daˈweva/ v. wiggle

demre /ˈdemre/ nf. cat

der /der/ adj. angry, mad

difo /ˈdifo/ nm. chemical

diwanaam /ˌdiwaˈnaam/ nm. length

domewun /doˈmewun/ nm. hair (of body), fur

dreis /ˈdreis/ v. drive, chase

dreisshi /dreˈisʃi/ nf. driver

dripostwo /driˈpostwo/ adj. buxom

dros /dros/ nm. evidence

dulsikri /dulˈsikri/ v. may

dweha /ˈdweha/ v. deserve

dwimemdru /dwiˈmemdru/ nm. armor

dwuepidzes /ˌdwueˈpiʣes/ nm. uncle

dzatwilhi /ʣaˈtwilhi/ v. understand, realize, comprehend

dzoeinthi /ˌʣoeˈinθi/ adj. short, low

dzurye /ˈʣurje/ nf. garden, orchard

elirthol /eˈlirθol/ adj. yellow, orange, brown

eltrel /ˈeltrel/ nf. horizon

emdzem /ˈemʣem/ nm. bark (of tree)

enchaedo /ˌenʧaˈedo/ adj. cultural

entear /enˈtear/ nm. effect

erpel /ˈerpel/ nm. brass

erzhavil /erˈʒavil/ nf. planet

eser /ˈeser/ conj. that

faeltar /faˈeltar/ nm. thunder

fasyarzen /faˈsjarzen/ adj. dirty

fesalma /feˈsalma/ v. waste

fis /fis/ v. focus

fonthu /ˈfonθu/ nm. bay, cove

galkroha /galˈkroha/ nm. thumb

gapo /ˈgapo/ v. lack

gefeleldo /ˌgefeˈleldo/ adj. medical

gilthal /ˈgilθal/ adj. possible, plausible

golmimtror /golˈmimtror/ v. smash, shatter, destroy

graoeham /ˌgraoˈeham/ nm. pepper

greinmi /greˈinmi/ adj. bad

groti /ˈgroti/ nm. grave

hahwel /ˈhahwel/ adj. round

he /he/ nm. dog

himralpos /hiˈmralpos/ adj. necessary

hirdrizhul /hirˈdriʒul/ adj. general, generic

huel /ˈhuel/ nm. information

hweke /ˈhweke/ nf. chest

hwinten /ˈhwinten/ nf. pain, agony

hwora /ˈhwora/ nf. corpse

iekam /iˈekam/ nm. father

il /il/ det. no

ililim /iˈlilim/ adj. awful, terrible

ilwaesir /ˌilwaˈesir/ nm. sewer

imkhilkro /imˈxilkro/ nm. triangle

imul /ˈimul/ interj. goodbye

ingal /ˈingal/ prep. between, among

intal /ˈintal/ v. collect, compile

irchial /irˈʧial/ conj. while

irreyor /iˈrrejor/ adj. exact, precise

irrom /ˈirrom/ v. catch, grab, arrest, clutch, grasp, grip

is /is/ adj. able, capable

isgertsa /isˈgerʦa/ v. like, enjoy

isulrue /ˌisuˈlrue/ nf. wind

jewo /ˈʤewo/ v. cough

juthaoe /ˌʤuθaˈoe/ interj. well

kealpol /keˈalpol/ nm. ornament, accessory

kem /kem/ adv. always, all the time

kes /kes/ v. chase

keurdaesir /keˌurdaˈesir/ nm. sleep

khamelwu moedzu /xaˈmelwu moˈeʣu/ nm. layout

kheren /ˈxeren/ v. return, go back

khinas /ˈxinas/ nm. road, street, avenue, trail, pavement

khowarin hwefiyam /xoˈwarin hweˈfijam/ nf. footprint

kilshesma /kilˈʃesma/ v. feel (sense by touch), feel (examine by touch)

koilbaro /ˌkoilˈbaro/ nf. suggestion

kraltwoku /kralˈtwoku/ adj. happy

krestrego /kresˈtrego/ adj. cute

ku /ku/ nf. country (rural area)

la /la/ adj. next

lawago /laˈwago/ v. cover, muffle

lesu /ˈlesu/ nm. sense

litsimde /liˈʦimde/ nm. knot

lueamshi /ˌlueˈamʃi/ nm. visitor

mam /mam/ v. own

mieis /miˈeis/ v. stay, remain

moer /ˈmoer/ v. wake, wake up, get up

mutristsoe /ˌmutrisˈʦoe/ nf. amount, quantity

nardzi /ˈnarʣi/ nm. use

nelzhigi /nelˈʒigi/ nm. rank (military), rank (position)

nofimka /noˈfimka/ v. expect, predict

oejosum /ˌoeˈʤosum/ nf. pillow, breast (slang)

oelolroe /oˌeloˈlroe/ nf. list, catalog

olbrero /olˈbrero/ nf. belief

olkhuros /olˈxuros/ nm. glass

olul /ˈolul/ adv. back

omesdri /oˈmesdri/ adj. free

ongusum /onˈgusum/ nm. fish

onres /ˈonres/ v. start, begin

orfonil /orˈfonil/ adv. far

orto /ˈorto/ nm. guess

ostiewostru /osˌtieˈwostru/ nm. restaurant

par /par/ nf. fat (component in food)

pie /ˈpie/ nf. year, age

pisdi onpuzen /ˈpisdi onˈpuzen/ nm. homosexual

podraeulshi /poˌdraeˈulʃi/ nf. sailor

prakhu /ˈpraxu/ adj. serious, severe, sober

preon /ˈpreon/ nm. column, pillar

pristriner /prisˈtriner/ nf. half

pro /pro/ prep. like

prurjo /ˈprurʤo/ v. shoot, fire (detonate weapon), blast

pultsamer /pulˈʦamer/ v. offer, bid

raelzor /raˈelzor/ nm. view, panorama

ransinel /ranˈsinel/ nm. fan (enthusiast)

reas /ˈreas/ v. close, shut

reonkue /ˌreonˈkue/ adj. drunk (inebriated)

riemtsem /riˈemʦem/ nm. media

ro /ro/ nm. river, stream, creek, current

ros /ros/ v. complete

ruestir /ruˈestir/ v. embrace

sadwus /ˈsadwus/ nf. bulb (plant root)

sarian /saˈrian/ num. third

sem /sem/ v. open

seortra /seˈortra/ nm. shit

shalfagrem /ʃalˈfagrem/ nf. lip

sho /ʃo/ nm. article (text)

shudu fo /ˈʃudu fo/ nf. copyright

sielelme /ˌsieˈlelme/ nf. grain

sisjieprol /ˌsisʤiˈeprol/ v. turn on

sozergero /ˌsozerˈgero/ nf. movement, motion

susprithol /susˈpriθol/ nm. community

talyi /ˈtalji/ v. lean, tilt

taun /ˈtaun/ nm. diner

temju omrizar /ˈtemʤu oˈmrizar/ nm. fingerprint

thakho /ˈθaxo/ adj. high

thamwel /ˈθamwel/ nm. doll

theam /ˈθeam/ nm. truth

thirro /ˈθirro/ nm. advertisement

thoskel /ˈθoskel/ adj. gray

tiam /ˈtiam/ v. think, consider, expect, understand, ponder, grasp, hope, anticipate

tiolil /tiˈolil/ nm. base

toldanrem /tolˈdanrem/ nm. bottom (lowest part)

towoe /toˈwoe/ nf. purpose, ambition

trasozi /traˈsozi/ nm. bow (decorative material)

treon /ˈtreon/ nm. cage, prison, jail

tro /tro/ nf. fire

tsatalzho /ʦaˈtalʒo/ nf. military

tserozen /ʦeˈrozen/ adj. expensive

tsiranwo /ʦiˈranwo/ nf. position (location)

tue /ˈtue/ v. agree, admit, compromise

twan /twan/ nf. eye

twe /twe/ nf. drug, medicine

twomlonun /twoˈmlonun/ v. confess

uedwape /ˌueˈdwape/ nm. expert

ulchil /ˈulʧil/ adj. big, great (very large), huge, massive, enormous, popular

ulmussir /ulˈmussir/ nf. certificate

um /um/ nm. society

umvanu /umˈvanu/ adj. ancient

umyu /ˈumju/ nf. prison, jail

unisza /uˈnisza/ nm. benefit

urchalvu /urˈʧalvu/ v. hiss

urgor ver /ˈurgor ver/ nf. university

usdwifis /usˈdwifis/ nm. tea

vae /ˈvae/ nm. animal

vehul /ˈvehul/ nf. reason, logic, concept, theory, rationale

ver untsodin /ver unˈʦodin/ nm. roof

vilno /ˈvilno/ adj. rare

von /von/ v. change

vuswaka /vuˈswaka/ v. lift, raise, elevate, boost

walil /ˈwalil/ conj. because

wardza /ˈwarʣa/ nf. politics

waselis /waˈselis/ v. sit

welal /ˈwelal/ v. wonder

wien /ˈwien/ adj. specific, definite, particular

winhuwer /winˈhuwer/ nf. shield

wohwir /ˈwohwir/ nf. lunch

wor /wor/ nf. whore

wue /ˈwue/ nf. doctor

wuporo /wuˈporo/ nm. failure

yahisem /jaˈhisem/ v. bark

yedelan /jeˈdelan/ nf. magazine

yi /ji/ det. several

yimrulrothus /ˌjimruˈlroθus/ nm. end

yofimhue /ˌjofimˈhue/ adj. young

yushi /ˈjuʃi/ prep. onto

zasus /ˈzasus/ nm. center, heart, core, nucleus

zhaes /ˈʒaes/ pron. you

zheki /ˈʒeki/ nm. puzzle

zhiti /ˈʒiti/ nf. metal

zi /zi/ prep. in, within, into

zumaele /ˌzumaˈele/ nm. music

[mteverestbasecamptrk]

Embark on an Unforgettable Journey: Budget Everest Base Camp Trek

The Everest Base Camp Trek is one of the most iconic and sought-after trekking experiences in the world. Offering breathtaking views of the world's highest peak, Mount Everest, this trek is a dream for many adventurers and nature enthusiasts. However, one common concern among aspiring trekkers is the cost. Fortunately, a budget Everest Base Camp Trek can provide the same unforgettable experience without breaking the bank.

Why Choose the Everest Base Camp Trek?

The allure of the Everest Base Camp Trek lies in its stunning scenery, diverse landscapes, and the unique opportunity to immerse oneself in the rich Sherpa culture. Starting from the bustling town of Lukla, the trail takes you through picturesque villages, lush forests, and high-altitude deserts, eventually leading to the base camp of the tallest mountain on Earth. Along the way, trekkers can enjoy panoramic views of towering peaks like Lhotse, Nuptse, and Ama Dablam.

Planning a Budget Everest Base Camp Trek

Planning a budget Everest Base Camp Trek requires careful consideration of several factors, including accommodation, food, gear, and permits. Here are some tips to help you keep costs down:

1. Accommodation: While luxury lodges and teahouses are available, budget-conscious trekkers can opt for more basic teahouse accommodations. These teahouses provide a warm bed and meals at affordable prices. Sharing rooms with fellow trekkers can also reduce costs.

2. Food: Food prices increase with altitude, so stocking up on snacks and essentials in lower-altitude towns like Namche Bazaar can save money. Choosing local dishes over Western food can also help keep your budget in check.

3. Gear: Investing in high-quality trekking gear can be expensive, but renting equipment in Kathmandu or Lukla is a cost-effective alternative. Essential items include a down jacket, sleeping bag, trekking poles, and sturdy boots.

4. Permits: The necessary permits for the Everest Base Camp Trek include the Sagarmatha National Park Permit and the TIMS (Trekkers' Information Management System) card. Acquiring these permits directly from the respective offices in Kathmandu or Monjo is usually cheaper than going through third-party agencies.

5. Guides and Porters: Hiring a guide or porter can enhance your trekking experience and provide valuable support. While this adds to the cost, sharing a guide or porter with a group can make it more affordable.

Benefits of a Budget Trek

Opting for a budget Everest Base Camp Trek does not mean compromising on the experience. In fact, many trekkers find that traveling on a budget allows them to connect more deeply with the local culture and environment. Staying in modest teahouses and dining on local cuisine can offer a more authentic experience and foster meaningful interactions with the local Sherpa community.

Conclusion

The Everest Base Camp Trek is a journey of a lifetime, offering unparalleled natural beauty and cultural richness. By planning a budget Everest Base Camp Trek, adventurers can experience the magic of the Himalayas without overspending. With careful preparation and mindful choices, this epic trek can be both affordable and unforgettable. Whether you are a seasoned trekker or a first-time adventurer, the Everest Base Camp Trek on a budget is a viable and rewarding option that promises memories to last a lifetime.

[felixluvsketchup]

ama Stays & Trails Talia Costa, Udaipur

[bikatadventures]

Trekking to Everest Base Camp: A Journey to the Roof of the World

Trekking to Everest Base Camp is a dream adventure for many outdoor enthusiasts and nature lovers. Situated in the heart of the high Himalayas, this iconic trek offers breathtaking views, cultural immersion, and a once-in-a-lifetime experience. In this comprehensive guide, we will delve into the details of this extraordinary journey, providing you with everything you need to know to embark on this exhilarating adventure.

The Magnificence of Everest Base Camp Trek

The Everest Base Camp trek is renowned for its awe-inspiring mountain scenery, captivating Sherpa villages, and Tibetan-style monasteries. As you traverse through this rugged terrain, you will be rewarded with panoramic views of iconic peaks such as Ama Dablam, Pumori, Nuptse, and Thamserku. The Sherpa villages offer a glimpse into the unique culture and way of life of the local communities. The teahouses along the trail provide comfortable lodging and delicious meals, making your journey all the more enjoyable.

Planning Your Trek to Everest Base Camp

Best Time to Trek Choosing the right time to embark on the Everest Base Camp trek is crucial for a memorable experience. The pre- and post-monsoon seasons, from March to June and September to November, respectively, offer the best weather conditions and clear skies. During these periods, you can enjoy the stunning views, pleasant temperatures, and avoid the peak tourist crowds.

Physical Fitness and Altitude Considerations While the Everest Base Camp trek does not require advanced climbing skills, it is essential to be in good physical condition and acclimatize properly to the high altitudes. Regular exercise, including cardio and strength training, in the weeks leading up to the trek will help prepare your body for the challenges ahead. Acclimatization days at Namche Bazaar and Dingboche are crucial for adjusting to the altitude and minimizing the risk of altitude sickness.

Trek Duration and Itinerary The trek to Everest Base Camp typically takes around 14 days, including acclimatization days and buffer days for potential flight delays. However, it is worth considering adding extra days to explore off-the-beaten-path destinations such as Thame, Chhukung, and the Gokyo Valley. These detours offer breathtaking views and a more immersive experience of the Everest region.

Essential Gear and Equipment Packing the right gear and equipment is essential for a successful trek to Everest Base Camp. Some key items include thermal underwear, a down jacket, fleece hat, comfortable hiking boots, padded socks, sunblock, sunglasses, and a four-season sleeping bag. It is also advisable to bring water purification systems and snacks for energy along the trek.

Trekking Experience: What to Expect

Trekking Routes and Highlights The Everest Base Camp trek starts from Lukla, where you can either take a short flight or opt for an adventurous drive to reach the trailhead. The route takes you through picturesque Sherpa villages, suspension bridges, and rugged mountain terrain. Highlights of the trek include the mesmerizing views from Kala Patthar, visits to monasteries like Tengboche, and the chance to witness the legacy of legendary mountaineers.

Accommodation and Dining The teahouses along the Everest Base Camp trail offer comfortable lodging options, ranging from private rooms with attached bathrooms to simpler accommodations with basic amenities. These teahouses also serve delicious meals, including local specialties like daal bhaat, as well as international cuisine. It is advisable to carry some extra snacks and energy bars for additional sustenance during the trek.

Connectivity and Communication While trekking in remote areas, you can still stay connected with the outside world. Most teahouses offer Wi-Fi services, although the availability and reliability may vary. It is also possible to get a phone signal at lower elevations, ensuring you can communicate with your loved ones and share your incredible journey.

Sustainability and Responsible Trekking As responsible trekkers, it is important to minimize our impact on the environment and support local communities. Avoiding single-use plastic bottles by using water purification systems, carrying out all trash, and respecting local customs and traditions are essential for sustainable trekking. Additionally, participating in programs like the Carry Me Back initiative, where you carry a bag of trash to be recycled, can contribute to the preservation of the pristine Himalayan region.

Conclusion

Embarking on the trek to Everest Base Camp is a life-changing experience that combines natural beauty, cultural immersion, and personal achievement. From the stunning mountain vistas to the warm hospitality of the Sherpa people, every step of the journey is filled with wonder and inspiration. Whether you are an experienced trekker or a passionate adventurer, the Everest Base Camp trek awaits, offering you the chance to stand at the foot of the world's highest peak and create memories that will last a lifetime.