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hoofbeast · 7 years ago

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warning! dream daddy spoilers for damien’s route

first of all, i just want to say that i fucking love this game holy shit. i work full time so i only get enough time to play one route per day, so ill eventually get through all the dads, but i started off with damien. this post is going to be a whole shitload of screencaps and spoilers, so ill put everything under a cut

the theme song is so great XD i actually paused my pandora at work so i could listen to the song a couple times

i wanted to play my first run through of this game as close to me as i could manage. i took extra care to design my character to look like me. i had my husband help and he still cant get over how much this character looks like me. my first choice for hair color was white (like most of my hair is now) but we decided to go with red because no matter what i do to my hair i inevitably circle back to red. i gave him my signature sly smirk and i used my actual name, too :3

right away, this game has me pegged. this is exactly something i would do XD

she’s a real chip off the ol’ block. FUCK THE SYSTEM! *wipes tear*

we ran into brian and daisy in the park, and honestly, brian will probably be one of the last dads i pursue the ending for. few things piss me off more than one-upmanship. im sure theres a lot more to his character and route, but still.

also, question: is it possible that daisy is on the autism spectrum? theres a lot more to see of her, but what ive seen so far is that she’s exceedingly intelligent, doesnt get along well with kids her age but seems fine around older persons, didnt understand the concept of playing pretend until amanda explained it. i remember being pretty much exactly like that when i was a kid, and ive been thinking of getting evaluated for a while, myself.

the pokemon battle dad brag-off was a nice touch XD is it possible to win? cuz brian kicked my ass like it was his job

seriously, wow. is this game somehow able to evaluate the choices ive made so far and build a personality profile for me or is social awkwardness a way more universal experience than i thought?? because this is exactly #me

so anyway, i met a few more dads before calling it a day.

i kinda dig mat, he’s as awkward and rambly as i am, and i am always cool with people who are passionate about music and puns and music puns. so far, he was the top contender for my first dad.

then there’s robert, with his hot, smoldering gaze. hot and smoldering because i can already tell that inside, he’s a blazing tire fire.

i dont hate craig (forgot to get a cap of him, oops) but i do hate everything he stands for. namely, jogging, exercise, waking up before noon, and jogging. fuck an entire pile of that. i totally blew him off when he tried to get me to come to the gym and went back to sleep. like i said, im playing this as though Daddy Felix were the irl me and, honestly, craig would be lucky if he got a text of anything but misspelled swears and knife emojis from me if he woke me up at 6am

i will state right now that i do. not. trust joseph. he’s the only dad ive seen so far that actively flirts right from the beginning which is highly suspect behavior for a youth minister, and once i did the yard party and saw that he was still married, i trusted him even less. what kind of future could my character ever have with some cheatin ass bastard?? if i give you a bad dragon gift card will you back the fuck up off me, joseph >:/

#me

forgot to get a cap of damien in dead, goth, and beyond (i am totally calling it that from now on thats perf omg)

anyway, i got through the yard party part. i kinda feel bad for craig cuz i stonewalled him pretty hard haha. but mat was there and i wanted to know what he was saying.

about this dadbook thing, tho: its grindr. like, its thinly-veiled grindr. there is exactly 0 reason why a nonsexual social media site should have turn-ons and ideal dates. this is definitely where dads go to hook up and fuck.

i read through the profiles and decided to message damien, literally because his says to send him a letter if i wanna talk about black cats and i VERY MUCH WANT TO TALK ABOUT CATS, YES. i didnt expect it to trigger a date, but this is the opposite of a problem. i figured id just have to court mat on my next playthrough

damiens house is fucking awesome 10/10 would have tea again

hoh! looks like i found your slashfic, damien >:3

wait. the narration said it was a worn leather bound book. did this fucking nerd seriously have his gay naruto fanfic bound in leather and then he keeps it in his swanky library?? i knew there was a reason i liked him XD

i think the first time i saw this reaction was from brian at the park and i was looking at the text so i didn’t see what it actually was. this time i was paying attention and its fucking eggplant and droplet emojis and im fuCKING WHEEZING FUCK XDDDD i know damn well what that means ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

anyway ya boi felix fucking crushed it whoop whoop! i learned to date from the master (the dating master is of course papyrus)

i have actually never played a dating sim before so it never occurred to me that i could go on dates with multiple dads without fucking up my game. i thought i was locked in to damien’s route, which, again, was the opposite of a problem, full speed ahead ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

so damien wrote me a for real letter! what a classy gent. <3 i am always a slut for handwritten letters

so obviously i write him a letter back, and i try to pick the options that are classy and rule out the ones that are trashy or over the top. i remember being a goth teen (and a goth adult ahaha) and how much i hated being condescended to. i want to play along with damien’s shtick, not make fun of him

completely forgot to take any caps of the actual date, but damien is afraid of horror movies and that’s even more adorable than mcree being afraid of horses. also, the running gag of cliche horror movie shit happening when damien shows up (his door creaking open and then slamming closed, spontaneous cracks of thunder) is terrific. my favorite part of vampire chronicles II: evil never dies is during the twist ending where one of the characters fucking looks into the camera and says the full title of the next movie in the series (vampire chronicles III: evil must die again) like its an actual statement a person would say in conversation. that shit had me cracking up

third date i was cockblocked before i could kiss damien by his phone ringing, then we ended up here and omg if this is a blood donation clinic im gonna shit

i see pet carriers. this is a vet’s clinic or smth

*sharp gasp* he’s... a NERD!! not that i didnt know that already by the way he has smutty fanfic in his library lmao

who would i even be trying to kid, of course i am

me: *softly, choking back genuine tears* gaaaaaaaay....

fucking SWOOOOON

(also he reminds me of equius when his hair is tied back like this and just HNNNG!! this was the BEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME)

sorry heteros, mothmans gay and we’re dating

piss off joseph im clearly with damien i know you want your slutty altarboy holes filled but find somebody else to do it fucks sake begone, thot

screeeeee<3<3<3<3<3

THE END!

not sure if ill post about other dads and their routes. probably not like this lol. im no good at this whole commentary thing. maybe ill collect up some highlights and post them or something.

anyway, im going to go through each of the dads while making decisions i would personally make, where possible. once im done with that ill go back and savescum until ive tried out each option so i can try for all the bad endings. my brother’s girlfriend told me theres a secret ending for joseph but i told her not to spoil it for me (maybe a polyamorous relationship with him and mary?? that would be awesome mary is cool), and i saw in the achievements that you can fuck robert on the first night. otherwise im actively trying to go through this blind and im having a blast so far. this is a very fun game

#dream daddy spoilers #commentary #long post #image heavy

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